YOUR VIEW OF THE CROSSROADS
INSIDE FASHION
DRESSES TO ADORE
B R I DA L & Q U I N C E A Ñ ER AS I N 3 61 • D EC EM B ER 20 23
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December 2023 | Discover361.com
CONTENTS
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QUINCEAÑERA PLANNING AND MORE How to plan a quince and religious requirements.
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FOOD Make a statement with your wedding cake.
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BUDGET Dreams vs. Reality: weddings on a budget means choosing what's important
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FA S H I O N Wedding and quinceañera dresses to glam up your special day
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A N E W LY W E D S T O RY A dream wedding come true
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G O I N G T H E D I S TA N C E The key to a long marriage - communication, faith community
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SECOND CHANCE From darkeness to delight: How one Victoria teen got a second chance at her quince
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CONNECT 361 Discover more with the business directory from the Crossroads.
Model: Susanna McLeroy Dress and Accessories Provided by: All About the Dress
December 2023 | Discover361.com
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MANAGING EDITOR'S LETTER
H
appy New Year. This new year will be a happy eventful year for hundreds of women as they prepare for their weddings. It will be equally as eventful for young girls as they prepare for their quinceañeras – the passage from childhood to adulthood at the age of 15. This year’s bridal magazine offers tips and stories for both weddings and
quinceañeras. Planning for both run parallel to one another. They both involve years of preparation, special cakes, music, dancing and, of course, the very special dress. For this special magazine, we talk to a young woman whose quince was ruined by a power outage. She was able to have a second event to celebrate. We also talked to a bride and her mom who shared a special mother-daughter dance at her wedding. Get your tissues ready. We have bridal and quince gowns. Brides tend to choose A-line gowns, while younger girls choose ball gowns. We think you will enjoy this magazine, even if you are not planning a wedding or quince. Thanks for reading,
Becky Cooper Managing Editor
GENERAL MANAGER C l a r i c e To u h e y A D V E RT I S I N G S A L E S M A N A G E R Ky l e M o t a l MANAGING EDITOR Becky Cooper DESIGNER Kimberley Bailey WRITERS Becky Cooper Ky l e R . C o t t o n Pa t r i c k S l o a n - Tu r n e r Jon Wilcox P H OT O G R A P H E R S Chase Cofield C O N T R I B U T E D P H OT O S Angie and Ernesto Cuellar Katie Knotts The Bridal Rail Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church in Victoria Abraham Cabrera FLORALS & DESIGNS The Gray Barn ON THE COVER Sullivan Strohmeyer models a dress from New Beginnings Bridal and Prom. C O V E R P H OT O G R A P H Y Dayna Wiles | Images by Dayna © 2 0 2 3 , M . R O B E RT S M E D I A 1 0 1 W. G o o d w i n A v e . , S u i t e 1 2 0 0 Victoria, TX 77901 info@discover361.com 361-575-1451
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December 2023 | Discover361.com
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Quince H O W TO P L A N A
S T O RY B Y PAT R I C K S LOA N - T U R N E R | P T U R N E R @ V I CA D. C O M P H O T O G R A P H Y C O N T R I B U T E D B Y A B RA H A M CA B R E RA
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lot goes into a life event as big as a quinceañera. From gowns, dances, food, decorations and more, the occasion can take a lot of planning. Cynthia Nelms is the owner of Ravishing Designs by CAN, a local company who offers services in decorating, event design and event coordination. Nelms, who has planned countless quinceañeras over the years, said one of the most important things is starting the planning early. “I tell people to give yourself at least a year, especially for booking your venue,” Nelms said. “It takes at least a year to get this planned to perfection the way you want it.” When clients come to her for help, she starts them off by getting a date set by booking a venue and coordinating the day with the church for the religious ceremony that often accompanies a quinceañera. Popular venues in Victoria are the Victoria Community Center and Spring Creek Place Event Center. From there, Nelms tells families it’s time to go dress shopping, a favorite part of the process for many girls who are prepping for their quinceañera. “Then, we'll go to the hall, we'll look for a DJ, we’ll look for food, we'll look for the caterer,” she said. “We'll really start to put together the whole nine yards.” Things can get pretty extravagant, depending on how much time, effort and money families want to put into the big day. Nelms said she’s seeing more go into it each year. Many families hire
choreographers to create dances and coach the girl being honored and her court of honor. A court of honor is usually made up of family members and friends who have a close relationship with the girl. “It’s usually 14 people. Seven girls and seven guys,” Nelms said. Quinceañeras have a long storied history, combining Catholic traditions
She will KEEP IT in
h e r h e a rt fo r e v e r - Abraham Cabrera
from old Spain with traditions from Latin-American for a girl’s 15th birthday. Traditionally, a family’s faith plays a significant role. Girls often go through a faith formation process that can take up to two years and is usually led by a local pastor or Catholic religious leader. The day usually includes a ceremony at a church with a communion service. From there, the party begins, as the family and invitees head to a reception celebrating the girl’s 15th birthday. “I've seen limos rented out, I've seen horse carriages rented out,” Nelms said. “The biggest, most glam quinceañeras you can think of.” Abraham Cabrera and his wife, Heidy Cabrera, celebrated their daughter’s
Event planner Cynthia Nelms
quinceañera in November. The family started putting things together in March, a little later than they would’ve liked, but they made it work in a short time. Because of the winter date, they went with a Christmas theme and had the venue, cake and all the decorations reflect it. “It was cool and different,” Cabrera said. “The woman that did our decorations said she had never done anything with that theme. Everybody does butterflies or flowers or something like that usually … our daughter loved the idea.” Depending on scale, the day can prove to be pretty pricey. Nelms said 150 guests can easily mean a $20,000 price tag for families who go all-out. Cabrera said he and the family were able to cut some costs for their daughter’s big day with food. The father and his sons run Leones Mexican Grill Y Panaderia in Port Lavaca, so they handled feeding the 250 people who attended. As for dessert, Cabrera’s wife Heidy actually has a cake business called Cakes by Heidy. “The cake was beautiful,” Cabrera said. “She did little Christmas houses and had reindeer and things like that on it.” The family had a choreographer put together a dance for their daughter and her brothers which highlighted the day, Cabrera said. The father said attendees were generous with gifts and it proved to be a day his daughter and the whole family aren’t likely to forget.
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The sanctuary of Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church in Victoria.
Quince Religious REQUIREMENTS S T O RY B Y PAT R I C K S LOA N - T U R N E R | P T U R N E R @ V I CA D. C O M P H O T O G R A P H Y S P E C I A L T O D I S C OV E R 3 6 1
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any see a quinceañera as just a birthday celebration but the event also has deep religious significance. A Catholic church is usually involved in preparing the young lady through a formation of faith. "The whole key to a quinceañera is that this young girl is going to now know more in depth about what it is to be a Christian woman of God, and how to live out her Christian faith," said Ed Molina, a deacon at Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church in Victoria. Molina has been helping prepare young women for their quinceañeras for 29 years. The deacon said Our Lady of Sorrows has a set of specific requirements for those who are getting ready for their quinceañeras at the church. First, it is required that the girl either attend a Catholic school, has completed the sacrament of confirmation or is currently undergoing confirmation classes. At his parish, Molina said girls are also required to read a book titled "33 Days to Morning Glory." The book talks
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about Catholic saints who consecrated themselves to Mary the Mother of Christ. The parish also requires them to journal along with the readings in the book so they can later discuss their takeaways with a church leader who is guiding them through this process. "One thing that has amazed me is how these young girls have gotten closer to Christ, closer to Jesus, by reading the reflections of these four saints," the deacon said. While these steps are specific to Our Lady of Sorrows, Molina said similar requirements are fairly standard at most Catholic churches. Much of the process involves meetings with the girl and her parents as this faith formation begins until its completion. To finalize things on the girl's big day, Molina said some dioceses will celebrate a quinceañera within a regular Mass and others will have a separate Mass just to celebrate a quinceañera. At Our Lady of Sorrows, they do not celebrate with a mass but instead do so with a communion service in which
Deacon Ed Molina of Our Lady of Sorrow Catholic Church in Victoria. the girl will receive communion and a special blessing. Molina does not downplay the party that traditionally follows the religious celebration and everything that comes with it, but the deacon said what happens in the church is hugely important. The dance, the reception, the food and all that is great," Molina said. "But the main focus of this is to help this young girl engage in some way to God and have a closer relationship with Jesus." Catholic families who are looking to plan their daughter's quinceañera should contact their parish leaders to learn more about the process, requirements and how to get started.
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Because the event celebrates a 15th birthday, it is of course customary for guests to bring gifts. But Nelms said it is also very common for families to give away little souvenirs for attendees to remember the day. For parents looking to find inspiration or get some help planning their daughter’s big day, a helpful event will be held in Victoria soon. On Jan. 21, Nelms’ nonprofit, NF Productions, will host its second annual Bridal and Quince Expo at the Victoria Community Center. The event will have vendors, designers and other professionals that can provide their services for quinceañeras. Now that his daughter’s big day has come and gone, Cabrera said one piece of advice he’d share with parents who are getting started with planning is to do your research and start booking vendors ASAP. Cabrera said it’s important to get real professionals who won’t leave you hanging at the last minute. “You need people who will actually show up,” the father joked. Aside from that, Cabrera said make sure to leave your worries at the door and just have fun. “Have a great time and enjoy every moment,” he said. “(Your daughter) will keep it in her heart forever.” December 2023 | Discover361.com
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MAK E A STATEME NT with your
Wedding Cake S T O RY F R O M M E T RO M E D I A
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rides and grooms may pour over every detail of their weddings, but few components of the festivities may be as fun, especially for foodies, as deciding what the wedding cake will look like. Couples who want to deliver show-stopping visuals often express some measure of their creativity and personalities through statement wedding cakes. Many couples now eschew the classic three-tiered white cake in favor of a dessert that garners instant attention. Whether the cake is brightly colored or hand-painted, a towering architectural marvel or shimmering in metallics, couples are opting to make a statement with their confections. Apart from clever cake-toppers, here are ways to stand apart when dessert is served. According to the Perfect Wedding Guide, a rising trend in cakes is to cover a white or naked cake with translucent glaze tinted in the couple’s wedding colors. This artistic expression can be especially stunning in boho-chic weddings. Statement tiers also are popular. The cake may be traditional in nearly every way, but couples then set the cake apart by featuring an elaborate design or a different hue in one tier. Martha Stewart Weddings advises that more than just color can be used to make a
statement. Lifelike sugar flowers can really set cakes apart. Guests may not be sure if they can consume all aspects of some cakes. But delicate sugar flowers taste as good as they look. Hand-painted tiles on a cake are another way to add panache. A bride and groom may be inspired by a European vacation or the stained-glass effects of religious windows and want to add that feel to the tiers of the cake. Sometimes a statement comes by way of texture. Even an all-white cake can be dressed up with interesting textural effects. Ruffles, lace, embossing, and 3-D rosettes are different textural components that can be incorporated in cake designs. Couples also may want to tell their unique stories with cake. Individual tiers designed to reflect various milestone moments from the couple’s relationship can be quite engaging. Capitalizing on the trend of edgier weddings, couples may opt for darker hues on their cakes - even a black tier- or nontraditional geometric shapes to the cake itself or its design elements. Statement cakes can really say something about the couple getting married. Much like other wedding elements, cakes provide a window into the minds of happy couples. December 2023 | Discover361.com
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Dreams vs. Reality
Weddings on a budget means choosing what’s important
S T O RY B Y K Y L E R . C OT TO N | K C OT TO N @ V I CA D. C O M P H O T O G R A P H Y C O N T R I B U T E D B Y K AT I E K N OT T S | @ K AT I E K N OT T S P H OTO F L O R A L S A N D D E S I G N S B Y T H E G RAY BA R N | @ T H EG RAY BA R N D E S I G N 12
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or the biggest day in a person’s life, the day they commit their love and lives to one another, is a day many people feel the price should be no object. But everything has a price, including a couple’s wedding day. If the couple starts with a budget of $10,000 or less, it will be an uphill battle to make that dream wedding a reality, as the average cost of a wedding in Texas is $27,000, according to The Knot, a worldwide wedding market platform. “Ten thousand dollars for the entire wedding is not very big,” said Cheryl Walyuchow, owner of The Gray Barn Mercantile and wedding designer. Such a wedding on a small budget is not impossible, though, Walyuchow said. It’s just a matter of making choices to fit the budget. “When you are planning a wedding, the first thing you need to consider is your budget,” she said. “All the time, I ask people what their budget is and they say they don’t really have one, and then I give them a quote based on things they wanted and they couldn’t afford it. So we go right back to ‘What’s your budget.’” If someone wants something more like the standard wedding experience with 200 people in attendance, there will be some corners that need to be cut, but it is doable if they were to cut out a lot of the fluff, she said. The first thing that should be examined is the floral arrangement budgets, Walyuchow said. That aspect of things, includes boutonnieres, corsages, table designs, bouquets, backdrop installations and anything unique that requires design, which can
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| CONT. FROM PG. 13 take up most of the budget. “It’s about $5,000 just for floral and designs, minimum,” she said. Cutting out things, such as pew markers, that are no longer in fashion, as well as any center walkway design that dresses up the venue, can significantly reduce the cost, Walyuchow said. “It’s kind of a go big or go home with something like that,” she said. “If you can’t do all of it, then it’s better not to do anything at all.” Having the wedding and reception in the same place will also reduce the cost, Walyuchow said. If the wedding is at the church, work with them to coordinate arrangement colors with the colors of the wedding will also help, she said. Other areas where savings can happen include having the family cook the meal instead of hiring a caterer; wear a second-hand wedding dress often found through online marketplaces; and, if absolutely necessary, get a three-tier cake from a local grocery store and dress it up, she said. “I wouldn’t recommend doing that last one because there are a lot of really great wedding cake makers out there that do amazing work, and you would be losing out,” Walyuchow said. “Not to say that the cake from H-E-B is bad. It’s just, a traditional wedding cake is better.” The one absolute thing that people cannot skimp on is the photographer, she said. “If you don’t get a quality photographer, you are going to regret it,” Walyuchow said. “A quality photographer knows what to look for and captures the moments of a wedding. If you skimp on a photographer, years later, you want to have the photos to truly look back on.” All this, though, is with a regular wedding, she said. A more intimate wedding opens up more opportunities. In recent years, mico weddings, weddings with an attendance of 50 people or less with just the closest family and friends, have become more popular, Walyuchow said. “The micro wedding is much more posh or elegant and more intimate, she said. “A regular wedding is a party for everyone else, while a micro wedding is more of an intimate gathering and memories for the bride and groom. By doing a micro wedding, costs are significantly decreased as things like venue, a DJ, drinks, catering and 14
December 2023 | Discover361.com
more can all be cut out, and instead, the budget can go to something that is more directly about the couple being married, Walyuchow said. The bride can get her dream dress, her dream cake and floral presentations and arrangements, a quality wedding cake and a good photographer, all while staying under budget, she said. This is because the smaller setting, which could be in someone's backyard, reduces the cost of everything, Walyuchow said. The photographer doesn’t have to spend as much time as he would with a traditional wedding party, less expense in sending out invitations, floral presentations are less expensive with less used and so-on, she said. Doing it on that smaller scale can cut as much as 75% of the cost, Walyuchow said. “You can just play music, you can have an intimate dinner, you can still have a dance and you can talk with everybody that's there,” she said. “With that, you will probably have a better memory than if you have a big old party, where you're trying to make everything stretch on a budget that, with a small amount of people, you can do to perfection.”
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Model: Cha’e Lynn Wagner Dress and Model Accessories Provided by: Maison Chic Bridal & Special Occasion
Dress
The perfect makes the
CELEBR ATI O N
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Model: Alyse Gonzales Dress and Accessories Provided by: Jade & Madalynn
STORY BY BECKY COOPER BCOOPER@VICAD.COM BRIDAL PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAYNA WILES IMAGES BY DAYNA AND THE BRIDAL RAIL QUINCEAÑERA PHOTOGRAPHY BY CASTILLO PHOTOGRAPHY AND K ARINA GONZALES PHOTOGRAPHY
T
he right dress is essential when planning a special event. This is never truer when it comes to weddings and quinceañeras. Women want to look their best and radiate happiness for their special day from manicures to tiaras and veils and most importantly their dresses.
QUINCEAÑERA
As a young woman reaches her 15th birthday, she prepares herself for her quinceañera – or coming of age – celebration. She excitedly looks for the special gown to go with the theme and colors of her celebration. Many girls choose ballgowns that give her an appearance of being a princess. The gowns offer sparkles and lace. Some dresses offer lighted skirts that are controlled with a battery-operated pack, said Erika Olguin, owner of Jade & Madalynn Bridal Boutique. Some dresses offer trains, like wedding dresses, some can be detached, she said. The colors vary depending on the girl’s taste. White was the main color of choice 10-15 years ago, but now the popular color is sage. Red and black are also popular. Olguin recently ordered a black gown because she knows that color is growing in popularity. The honoree’s court, called damas, wear dresses that complement the gown. She asks that the gowns be ordered at least six months before the ceremony to give them time for alterations.
| CONT. ON PG. 19 Dress and Accessories Provided by: The Bridal Rail
December 2023 | Discover361.com
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| CONT. FROM PG. 17 It also gives the family time to have the honoree’s portrait made. The portrait is displayed during the celebration. The gowns range in price from $800-$2,200 and come in sizes from 4 to women’s 26. “Larger women want to feel beautiful,” Olguin said. Jade & Madalynn also offers accessories to go with the gown. The crown and the pillow to hold the crown. The bouquet. The pillow to kneel on during the religious ceremony. The last doll which is given by the parents to the honoree and many other items. “We offer a lifetime of memories where they can find the perfect dress and look pretty,” Olguin said.
WEDDINGS
Brides-to-be also like shopping for gowns that will make them feel beautiful and special on their wedding day. Brides tend to go toward A-line and fitted dresses, which are more comfortable than ball gowns. They are opting for a soft romantic look with solid ivory and lots of lace, said Christina Tidwell, owner of All About the Dress.
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Model: Alannah Dress and Accessories Provided by: Jade & Madalynn
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Model: Sullivan Stroyhmeyer Dress and Accessories Provided by: All About the Dress
Model Kandace Monney Dress and Accessories Provided by: New Beginnings Bridal & Prom
Dress and Accessories Provided by The Bridal Rail
A new feature offered on some gowns is detachable sleeves. This allows the bride to have sleeves on her gown during the ceremony and to take them off during the reception, or vice versa. Tidwell said the snaps are attached to the dress’ shoulder straps. Before the bride comes to the salon, she completes an interview that tells Tidwell the type of dress she likes, from neckline to fabrics. This helps Tidwell and her assistants prepare for the visit. “Some brides don’t know what they want, and we will start from the interview and work from there,’ she said. The appointments are scheduled for two hours, but the brides usually find their gown in the first hour, she said. All About the Dress carries nationally known designer gowns, but they also have an in-house collection called Lola Bess – named after Tidwell’s two grandmothers. It is curated by a private design house. Tidwell added the in-house collection about two years ago. It is popular among brides, she said. December 2023 | Discover361.com
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Model: Susanna McLeroy Dress and Accessories Provided by: Maison Chic Bridal & Special Occasion
Model: Deja Herron Dress and Accessories Provided by: Bliss Formals
Model: Jordan Johnson Dress and Accessories Provided by: New Beginnings Bridal & Prom
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Model: Heather Gould Dress and Accessories Provided by: Maison Chic Bridal & Special Occasion
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Dream
A
Wedding
come true S T O RY B Y PAT R I C K S LOA N - T U R N E R | P T U R N E R @ V I CA D. C O M P H O T O G R A P H Y S P E C I A L T O D I S C OV E R 3 6 1
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any women dream of having their perfect wedding. For 29-year-old Reyna Marcha, that wish came true. A lot of planning went into the big day which took place on Oct. 14. Marcha's mother, Reyna Herrera, estimated 400 or so attended the ceremony at Our Lady of Sorrows and the reception that followed at Spring Creek Place Event Center. "We had family and friends come from Tennessee, from California, Colorado, Mexico City and even from Japan," Herrera said. As the mother of just one child, Herrera wanted the day to be special for her daughter. After a beautiful ceremony at the church, guests headed to the event center for an extravaganza of a wedding reception. Among regular wedding staples like a first dance and toasts, the party also included Mexican traditions like a Mariachi band and La Vibora De La Mar, a dance in which singles dance under a veil held up by the bride a groom.
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"They were dancing so fast ... it was so much fun," Herrera said. Marcha praised the venue and its coordinator Mallory Crabb. "She was amazing, helping us with everything," Marcha said. "I mean, she had everything ready for us." What's a Texas wedding without some barbecue? Cattleman's catering handled the food with traditional Texan barbecue. The cake — which was made by Love Birds Cakes, a wedding cakes studio in Victoria — paid homage to Marcha's husband, Steven Marcha, 28, with colors for the United States Marines Corps flag along with decorations to reflect both the American and Texas flags. The husband is a veteran of the Marine Corps. "(The cake maker) thought that request was hilarious," the bride said. "That little detail that she did for us was so great." One moment in particular from the day sticks out to both the mother and her daughter. It was when the two shared a dance together in front of guests. "Me being an only child, and her as a single mother and a small business owner in Victoria for 30 plus years, (that moment) really hit home," Marcha said. "Everyone that grew
I tried not to cry
... But when I danced the daughter's dance ...
everybody
in that venue
was crying - R e y n a H e r re r a
up with me saw and felt that moment and you could see everyone just tearing up in the crowd." Herrera owns TNT Restaurant/Tacos N Tamales in Victoria. "It was almost bittersweet because it was almost like a little girl that's letting go," she said. Herrera said she tried to hold it together but it was tough during such a emotional moment. "I tried not to cry, you know," the mother said. "But when I danced the daughter's dance ... everybody in that venue was crying." After the heartfelt dance with her mother, Marcha said the party really got going. The bride said she was more than impressed with the show put on by the DJ. "He had little sharks come out for Bad Bunny and he had a big Bad Bunny head on," Marcha said. I mean, he really got the crowd going, everyone ... There was blinking sunglasses.
There was blinking hats ... I mean, he went the whole nine yards. Marcha said she heard from many beforehand that a bride's wedding day will never come out exactly how she wants it. But for Marcha, she said she was more than satisfied. The bride said she knows how much a woman's wedding day can get built up in her mind, which happened for Marcha too, but she said she was lucky enough to have her lofty expectations become reality. "In the end, I wouldn't have changed a thing, even just the smallest details," she said. "I loved it. It was a beautiful wedding. People to this day are still talking about it."
Reyna Herrera and her daughter and bride Reyna Marcha share a dance together at Marcha's wedding in October.
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- TH E KEY TO A LONG M ARRI AGE -
Communication, Faith, Community S T O RY B Y K Y L E R . C OT TO N | K C OT TO N @ V I CA D. C O M P H O T O G R A P H Y B Y C H AS E C O F I E L D | C C O F I E L D @ V I CA D. C O M C O N T R I B U T E D P H O T O G R A P H Y F R O M A N G I E A N D E R N E STO C U E L L A R 24
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T H E B I G G E ST T H I N G that has gotten us t h ro u g h e v e r y t h i n g i s t h e A B I L I T Y TO C O M M U N I CAT E w i t h each other AND C O M P RO M I S E - Ernesto Cuellar
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or the last 32 years, Angie and Ernesto Cuellar, of Cuero, have been married, and the things that has kept them strong throughout the years is their faith, community and communication. From Japan to long distances through military deployment and working in the oil and gas industry, the couple has remained strong since the fateful meeting between a high school senior and a gate security guard at Yokota Air Base. “I had been working the gate, and as such, you see plenty of people go by, and you don’t pay much mind,” Ernesto said. “But one day, I just saw this blonde-haired girl drive by, and I just couldn’t get her out of my head.” Ernesto, an airman and two years Angie’s senior, who was 17 at the time, then ran into each other at the library, but he wasn’t confident enough to approach her. “My buddy told me to go up and talk to her,” he said. “I told him the next time he sees her in here, he could go up and ask for me.” His friend eventually did, and before she would say yes, since this was before the proliferation of cellphones, she drove over to the gate, looked at him and said yes to their first date, he said. They dated for about eight months before getting engaged. But after getting engaged, the first test of their relationship occurred. Angie’s father was reassigned to Kelly Air Force Base in San Antonio. Because Angie was still 17, she had to return to the States with her family. They were married two months later, but Angie couldn’t join Ernesto in Japan for another two months. In the months in between their engagement and relocating to Japan, Angie racked up a $900 phone bill for her father because of long-distance changes, she said. “The first few years of marriage with being so far away from family, it was
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| CONT. FROM PG. 25 difficult,” she said. “But I think it also helped build our marriage on a strong foundation. You can't just run home to mom every time you have a problem. You have to work it out.” Their time in Japan allowed them to grow as a couple, and they eventually made their way back stateside to Las Vegas and then to Texas. After Ernesto left the Air Force and joined the reserves, the two had their first of two children. However, the period at home was short-lived. After 9/11, he was reactivated and spent the next decade being deployed off and on, she said. When he retired from the military, the periods of separation continued as he got a job in the oil and gas industry that took him away from home for extended periods. However, the couple remained strong during this period, no matter how much distance between them. The main thing that kept their relationship strong was the community they had developed through their Christian faith, treasuring their time together, no matter how small and communicating. “It’s important to enjoy each other when you can,” she said. “He’s a big kid at heart, being a fan of Disney and Star Wars. We’ve even gone to Disney World. So having fun keeps everything going and reminds you why you fell in love.” Even in the smallest window, making time is essential, she said. She noted an example when they were raising their children, they would get together for an hour at lunch, which would be their “date night.” When they were separated by distance, having family and their community to lean on was a valuable resource for their relationship and the ability to talk to each other like they were old friends. “She’s been my best friend for 32 years,” he said. “The biggest thing that has gotten us through everything is the ability to communicate with each other and compromise. Which is key to every relationship.” While the nest is now empty for the two, their relationship is as strong as ever because of the foundations that sustained it, she said. 26
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From darkness to
delight How one Victoria teen got a second chance at her quince S T O RY B Y JO N W I L C OX | J W I L C OX @ V I CA D. C O M A D V O C AT E F I L E P H O T O S
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espite years of painstaking planning and preparation, the unthinkable happened at Esperanza Buentello's quinceañera. Without warning, bad luck struck and struck hard. The Victoria teen – along with her family and close friends – found herself standing in the dark on her big night. "It was a shock," Esperanza Buentello, now 19, said adding, "For you to have all your ducks in a row … I was very devastated." On June 8, 2019, the night of Esperanza's quinceañera, an equipment malfunction at an American Electric Power substation outed power for about 6,000 customers in Victoria. One of those customers was the Victoria Community Center, where Esperanza was celebrating her 15th birthday. At the time, Esperanza had no idea she would get a second chance at the once-in-alifetime party. With the venue plunged into darkness that night, the party came to a screeching halt. Only a few songs had played, and Esperanza's
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most anticipated part of the night, a carefully practiced and choreographed father-daughter shadow dance, never happened. They waited and waited for the power to come back on. It never did, and instead Esperanza went home and opened her presents with family. Nevertheless, the teen took it in stride, heroically maintained composure and did her best to enjoy the night. "She could have been a brat, but she just saw the bright side of it," her mother Melissa Buentello said. It was a night she had been looking forward to since she was a 12-year-old girl. Growing up, Esperanza must have attended at least 10 of her cousins' quinces. "I have a lot of cousins," Esperanza said, chuckling. The parties, her mother said, were perfect opportunities for her young daughter to have some fun with family and friends within a safe environment.
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| CONT. FROM PG. 29 "I was so fascinated," Esperanza said. "Because I'm a girl, because I love big, ball-gown dresses and how they look like princesses —and the gifts," she said. "It’s about celebration." But the quinces also carried a deeper meaning, which Esperanza said she appreciated. These parties weren't just about cake and dancing, she said. They were also rites of passage symbolizing her journey to adulthood. Before the party could begin, the teen took Holy Communion at a special Mass and gave a speech — important steps marking her maturity. "I remember being so nervous," Esperanza said. Nevertheless, she found the inner strength to conquer her fears and fulfill her responsibilities. Finally, it was time to party. Preparing the big night was no small task, Esperanza's mother said. It took 2½ years of planning. The teen's mother filled folders and made booklets in the process. Relatives from out of town made arrangements to make it. Some even flew in from Dallas. "She was our only daughter. I wanted it to be perfect," her mother said. Esperanza, a self-described "history nerd," eventually settled on a 1940s-era masquerade theme. 30
December 2023 | Discover361.com
She found the perfect navy-blue ballgown with a corset in the back. "I saw it, and I was like, "This is the dress I want." Her brothers planned to wear stylish zoot suits. With all that, the abrupt canceling of Esperanza's quinceañera came as a painful surprise,to say the least. But another, more fortuitous surprise would follow. Her neighbor Clara Ramos was not content to sit idly by amid the tragedy. “I have two girls, and so I know how important and special a quinceañera is and how much work goes into it,” Ramos said at the time. With the help of the Victoria
community under the banner of the social media hashtag #TeamHope, the canceled party slowly got a second chance. A local DJ stepped in to offer his services. A nail technician, hairdresser and makeup artist also donate their services. Venue owners offered her family a full refund and scheduled a "redo" party to occur two months later at a discounted rate. Finally, despite all the odds, the calamity was reversed. Esperanza had the quince she was always meant to have. "You're only 15 once," she said.
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