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August 2018 • Free

HOW TO RAISE A SELFDRIVEN CHILD TOBACK- L SCHOO ISSUE

Communicating With Your College Kid When – and how – to connect

Managing the Middle School Metamorphosis

10 ways moms can bond with tween daughters

8 MARVELOUS SCHOOL SUPPLIES

Mighty products for your young superheroes

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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FROM THE FIRST DAY TO THE DAY THEY WALK.

WE’RE THERE.

From day one to graduation day, WakeMed Children’s is there for them. With the only children’s hospital in Wake County. The only children’s emergency department in Wake County. Surgeries from the common to the complex. The most sophisticated technologies. Specialists, nurses and therapists who specialize in kids. And a patient and family experience that’s second to none. To learn more, visit wakemed.org/kids. Who knows? It could turn out to be quite an education.


VOLUME 30, NUMBER 7

CONTENT AUGUST 2018

14

FEATURES 14

THE SECRET TO RAISING SELF-DRIVEN KIDS Seven tips for helping kids take control of their lives

20 10 WAYS MOMS CAN BOND WITH MIDDLE SCHOOL DAUGHTERS How to stay close as your tween girl approaches adolescence

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SUPER SCHOOL SUPPLIES FOR A MARVEL-OUS YEAR! Back-to-school gear for the heroes in your life

22 COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR COLLEGE KID Tips and tech for helping you both stay connected

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20

IN EVERY ISSUE

26

32

34

COLUMNS

CALENDAR

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August Online

25 Growing Up

34 Our Picks

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Editor's Note

26 Father Figuring

35 Performances

28 Tech Talk

36 Festivals

29 Understanding Kids

37 Daily

FYI

22

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8

Community

10 Education 12

Health

30 College Transitions 32 Excursion 40 Faces and Places

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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of

ACCEPTING ST

UDENTS AGES

� AND UP!

Ballet Technique, Variations, Pointe and Pas de Deux. Contemporary and Hip-Hop offered as well.

Registration is now Open! CLASSES BEGIN MONDAY, SEPTEMBER ��TH!

Visit www.carolinaballet.com to register and view class schedules, fees, faculty and information. Questions? Call 919-747-8459 or email info@schoolofcarolinaballet.com.

Classes taught by professional and experienced Carolina Ballet faculty and dancers.

RRINGTON Z • LINDSAY PU RE PE ER VI JA O NEZ • PABL NALD WEST ARCELO MARTI D KRUSCH • M UEZ VELEZ • RO IG AR DR CH RI RO • ES M RD EVEN JA • JAN BURKHA SHLAPKO • ST • MARIN BOIERU EN • YEVGENY NS Classes held at Carolina Ballet Studios: HA N� DEBRA AUSTIN RI VE SE MARGARET

FACULTY MEET OUR

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EDITOR'S NOTE

How to Raise Self-Driven Kids

morrismedianetwork.com

I

’ll never forget my oldest son’s first day of kindergarten. He climbed out of our minivan and strapped on his Thomas the Tank Engine backpack, then looked up at me with his big blue eyes and said: “Mom, this is a big day.” It was a memorable occasion that marked the first of many that Ben would have to adjust to without Mom or Dad nearby. Over the next 12 years, we watched as our son developed an intrinsic motivation to do well in school. Underneath his shy shell emerged drive and independence. When necessary, my husband and I let him fail so he could learn from his mistakes. (This was not easy!) We encouraged him to keep trying. We listened and consulted. We all made mistakes together, but kept the end goal in focus: To raise a self-driven kid. Sixteen years later, Ben is a senior at North Carolina State University majoring in physics. No parent — or child — is perfect, but we are proud of the young man he has become, and grateful for the learning experiences we gained through raising him. We’re taking the same approach to parenting our other son and daughter. “The Secret to Raising Self-Driven Kids” by Caitlin Wheeler on page 14 offers steps parents can take to help their children move toward confidence and self-motivation. Structure and downtime play an important roles in allowing kids the space they need to take control of their lives. And this, of course, includes the middle school years. If your daughter is heading to sixth grade, get ready for a few changes. Don’t fret: There are plenty of ways moms and daughters can connect during this dreaded middle school metamorphosis.

PUBLISHER

Katie Reeves · katie.reeves@morris.com

EDITOR

Beth Shugg · bshugg@carolinaparent.com

Read helpful suggestions in “10 Ways Moms Can Bond With Middle School Daughters” on page 20 by author Michelle Icard, who also hosts workshops and special events for these dynamic duos as they prepare for the adolescent years. If, on the other hand, your child just graduated from high school and is moving on to college, don’t miss “Communicating With Your College Kid” by Tivi Jones on page 22 for tips on the best ways — and times — to connect with your young adult while he or she is away from home. Take note: There are a few do’s and don’ts you’ll want to be aware of! Before you and your child shop for school supplies this month, check out “Super School Supplies for a Marvel-ous Year” by Mandy Howard on page 18 to get some “incredible” ideas for the heroes in your life. You’ll also enjoy local dad Bruce Ham’s white-knuckle approach to kindergarten on page 26, Laura Tierney’s advice for how to handle homework that requires internet access on page 28 and Adrian Wood’s tips for a great school year on page 29. Savor those last few weeks of summer by planning a weekend trip to Georgia’s barrier islands. Michael Schuman spotlights St. Simons and Cumberland islands in our Excursion column on page 32. You’ll also find plenty of ways to spend the remaining lazy days of summer with your kids in our calendar section, which begins on page 34. Here’s to a few more days of summer fun, self-driven kids and a bright, new, beautiful school year. We’re ready when you are!

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Janice Lewine · jlewine@carolinaparent.com

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Sean W. Byrne · seanwbyrne.com

DIGITAL DIRECTOR

Allison Hollins · allison.hollins@morris.com

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Phone: 919-956-2430 · Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 advertising@carolinaparent.com · editorial@carolinaparent.com Circulation 35,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards. Copyright 2018. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.

A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman President & CEO William S. Morris III William S. Morris IV

2018 GOLD

Beth Shugg, Editor

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

COVER PHOTO (clockwise): Turner Creek Elementary students James (8), Arnav (10), Arnisha (7), Max (11) and Luke (7) prepare for a new school year. ABOVE PHOTO: Luke, Arnisha and James hang out at Turner Creek Elementary in Cary. Both photos courtesy of Morton Photography

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FYI COMMUNITY

BY JANICE LEWINE

Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes by Sarahlaine Calva\sarahlainecalva.com

Local Artists to Install Murals in Durham The Bull City will soon become a lot more colorful now that seven local artists have been selected to install murals at five Durham parks and two traffic signal control boxes. Durham’s General Services Department, Department of Parks and Recreation, and Office of Economic and Workforce Development worked with the Durham Cultural Advisory Board Public Art Committee to choose artists Sarahlaine Calva, Cornelio Campos, Dare Coulter, Will Dove and Jermaine Powell to install murals at East End Park, Photo courtesy of Sandra Johnson-Leu

Garrett Road Park, Sherwood Park, Solite Park and Whippoorwill Park. Artists Bethany Bash and Candy Carver will install murals on traffic signal control boxes at the intersections of Anderson, West Main and 15th streets; and East Chapel Hill, Morris and West Main streets. The murals are expected to be complete later this summer. Learn more at durhamnc.gov.

Preston Sharp, a 12-year-old from California who was recognized by President Donald Trump during the State of the Union speech in January for honoring the graves of U.S. veterans, visited Raleigh National Cemetery on June 20 to place a flag and single red carnation at the headstones of nearly 6,000 servicemen. Local volunteers, including many from the Veterans of Foreign Wars of North Carolina, assisted Preston at the event.

Logos courtesy of North American Premier Basketball

Preston Sharp Honors Buried Soldiers in Raleigh

Raleigh Firebirds to Promote STEM Education During Inaugural Season The Raleigh Firebirds, a new basketball team that is part of the minor professional basketball league North American Premier Basketball, begins its inaugural season in January 2019. Most of the Raleigh Firebirds’ 16 home games will be played in Southeast Raleigh Magnet High School’s basketball gymnasium at 2600 Rock Quarry Rd. in Raleigh. The team is partnering with Wake County Public School System to promote science, technology, engineering and math education through its “Firebirds Stand for STEM” initiative, which features scheduled home games on two school days that will showcase professional sports careers involving STEM connections. In addition, all Firebirds games will feature entertaining, real-world examples of career paths involving STEM education. Learn more at napbasketball.com.

“People don’t need an event to honor veterans,” he said during his visit to Raleigh.

STATS

“I think it should be every day that we

U.S. STEM Occupation Statistics

honor veterans.” Preston, who founded the nonprofit Flags & Flowers for Vets in 2015, has visited 15 states and organized the placement of more than 75,000 flags and flowers on the

CURRENT STEM-RELATED JOBS

STEM JOBS ADDED TO THE ECONOMY BETWEEN 2009-2015

PROJECTED NUMBER OF JOB OPENINGS IN COMPUTER FIELDS, 2014-2024

8.6 MILLION

800,000+

1 MILLION+

graves of America’s soldiers. His quest is to visit a national cemetery in every state. Learn more at prestonsharp.net.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

SOURCE: U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics: “STEM Occupations: Past, Present, and Future,” January 2017 (bls.gov⁄spotlight ⁄2017⁄science-technology-engineering-and-mathematics-stem-occupations-past-present-and-future ⁄ home.htm)


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carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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FYI EDUCATION

BY KAREN SHORE

North Carolina Symphony’s Friends of Note Luncheon Raises $93,000 for Music Education

the North Carolina Department of

The North Carolina Symphony’s

to celebrate the importance of

teachers, sends small ensembles

2018 Friends of Note luncheon

learning through music.

into classrooms and presents

on May 10 raised more than

North Carolina Symphony’s

Public Instruction, the symphony provides training and resources for

full-orchestra education concerts

$93,000 in support of its music

extensive music education

for fourth- and fifth-graders.

education program. More than

program annually serves nearly

Music Discovery for preschoolers

350 community members who

70,000 students representing

combines music with storytelling.

value the arts and education in

all ages across North Carolina.

At the middle and high

North Carolina gathered in Raleigh

Aligned with the curriculum set by

school levels, students have opportunities to work directly with symphony artists and perform for audiences through programs such as the Kathleen Price and Joseph M. Bryan Youth Concerto Competition, “Ovations” pre-concert performances, and master classes with symphony musicians and guest artists. Learn

Young players perform alongside North Carolina Symphony musicians. Photo courtesy of the North Carolina Symphony

more at ncsymphony.org.

Coach Bob Pittard Leaves Lasting Legacy for Students WakeEd Partnership, a businessbacked nonprofit organization committed to improving public education in Wake County's public schools, recently announced the first class of Coach Bob Pittard Scholars. Eleven students from Apex High School and Green Hope High School each received a $12,500 scholarship, and will be able to apply for three additional years of scholarship funds, for a total of $50,000 per student. Pittard, the scholarship’s namesake and creator, lived much of his life as a farmer in Apex. He graduated from Apex High School and was also a

Fox Road Magnet Elementary’s Elizabeth Jordan Named WCPSS Teacher of Year

teacher there. When Pittard

Elizabeth “Betsy” Jordan, a

students was reflected in her

WakeEd Partnership, with the

fifth-grade teacher at Fox Road

classroom theme this year.

goal of establishing a sustainable

Magnet Elementary School in

passed away in 2016, he left $2.7 million from his estate to

“I decided to make Andra

scholarship fund for student

Raleigh, is the 2018-19 Wake

Day’s song ‘Rise Up’ our class

athletes at Apex and Green Hope

County Public School System

anthem this school year. As a

high schools.

Teacher of the Year.

class, we listened to the song

“We are excited and

Jordan received the award

and read the lyrics. Students

humbled to be able to honor

at WCPSS’s annual Teacher

wrote down everything that

these students on behalf of

of the Year banquet May 10.

was ‘breaking them down, and

Mr. Pittard,” says Steve Parrott,

The banquet also honored

making it hard to breathe,’”

president of WakeEd Partnership.

all teachers in the district

wrote Jordan. “Then I had

“It is thanks to Mr. Pittard’s

who were selected by their

them rip up the paper and

respective school as its Teacher

write down all the reasons they

of the Year.

‘Rise Up.’ This activity opened

Jordan’s focused approach

Elizabeth “Betsy” Jordan is Wake County Public School System’s Teacher of the Year. Photo courtesy of WCPSS

the door to real dialogue and compassion. As educators, we

students and help them ‘rise up

and among her fifth-grade

have to ‘see the fighter’ in our

and move mountains.’”

AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

students in our community will be able to achieve their dreams of a higher education where it might

to building relationships with

10

incredible gift that deserving

not have been possible before.”


ENGAGING CHILDREN’S HEARTS, MINDS AND HANDS EVERY DAY

Please join us for preschool and elementary tours of our warm and welcoming 18-acre campus! Preschool tours: Jan. 5, Jan. 9, Jan. 19, Jan. 23, Feb. 2, Feb. 6, Feb. 9, Feb. 13 Elementary tours: Jan. 10, Jan. 23, Feb. 6, Feb. 21 Sign up online at www.raleighschool.org/admissions or send us an email at admissions@raleighschool.org 1141 Raleigh School Drive | Raleigh, NC 27607 www.raleighschool.org 919-546-0788 COMMUNITY. CHALLENGE. INQUIRY. RESPECT.

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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FYI HEALTH

BY KATHERINE KOPP

NC Short on School Nurses and Counselors

Keep Immunizations Up to Date

A study by the North Carolina Institute of Medicine found that North Carolina doesn’t have The North Carolina Institute of Medicine and advocacy group NC Child gave the state “D” grades for school health and mental health on its 2018 Child Health Report Card. The study found that many North Carolina schools do not have a school nurse at all and that some nurses are serving more than one school. About 41 percent of school nurses serve one school, 36 percent serve two, and 22 percent of serve three or more. Dr. Adam Zolotor, M.D., president of the North Carolina Institute of Medicine, says environmental stressors are taking a toll on young

Photo courtesy of Mega Pixel/Shutterstock.com

enough school nurses or counselors, and that this is impacting child health across the state.

As your family prepares for a new school year, check with your pediatrician or family physician to make sure your kids are up to date on immunizations. Vaccines recommended — but not necessarily required — for children by the time they turn 13 include: • Tdap – Helps protect against tetanus, diphtheria and whooping cough.

students, increasing the need for more school nurses and counselors. For the full report, go to ncchild.org and search for “report card.”

• HPV (human papillomavirus) – A series of vaccines that helps protect

Researchers Explore How a Child's Learning Environment Can Affect Nonacademic Skills At the latest convening of the Saul Zaentz Early Education Initiative at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, developmental psychologists Stephanie Jones and Nonie Lesaux shared

boys and girls against HPV cancers. •

Meningococcal – Helps protect against a leading cause of bacterial meningitis. Most kids also need a flu shot every

year. And your child may need booster

several insights, including: • The development of a child’s skills in one

• A child’s learning environment can have

shots or catch-up vaccines, too. Many insurance companies cover well-child

domain (cognitive, social-emotional or

a deep, lasting impact on his core non-

interpersonal) can profoundly inform

academic skills. Nonacademic skills can be

the development of her skills in other

predictive of life outcomes. Strong impulse

domains. The interrelatedness of these

control, executive function and social skills

SOURCE: UnitedHealthcare

domains is greater than previously

can lead to greater labor market and higher

Katherine Kopp is a freelance writer in Chapel Hill.

understood. As a result, the psychologists

education successes, better physical well-

concluded, that there should be more

being and personal financial circumstances,

emphasis on “the whole child.”

and lower rates of substance abuse.

exams and immunizations as part of their preventive care policy.

The researchers suggest that core nonacademic skills are a direct reflection of a child’s everyday environments. Learning environments that are predictable, stable and filled with routines can yield

BY THE NUMBERS:

2 in 10:

The number of children in the U.S. who have access to a high-quality preschool education.

Source: Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Image courtesy of Photoroyalty / Shutterstock.com

substantial benefits for a child’s future. Learn more at zaentz.gse.harvard.edu.


AUGUST

114 SAINT MARY’S ST. RALEIGH, NC 27605 (OFF HILLSBOROUGH ST.)

artstogether.org 919.828.1713

Win KIND Bars and Gear The makers of nutritious KIND bars believe that if you can’t pronounce an ingredient, it shouldn’t go into your body — or pantry. KIND products are made from nutritionally-dense ingredients such as whole nuts, fruits and whole grains. In addition to being non-GMO and gluten-free, KIND’s newest product, KIND Kids, is made with 25 percent less sugar than other leading kids’ granola bar brands, and a half-serving of 100 percent whole grains. Win a varied and delicious supply of KIND bars to slip into your kids’ lunches this school year — as well as plenty of KIND swag — by going to carolinaparent.com/cp/contests and clicking on the “KIND Bars” post. Type this code in the online form you’ll be required to fill out: CPKIND4school. We’ll announce a winner Aug. 24, 2018. Good luck!

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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The Secret to Raising Self-Driven Kids 7 tips for helping children take control of their lives

T

BY CAITLIN WHEELER

he idea of an independent, confident teenager is quintessentially American. But somewhere between the self-esteem movement of the 1990s and society’s apparent obsession with perfection, there’s a school of thought out there that today’s kids have gotten off track. The pressure to be perfect is inescapable. Kids absorb it from well-meaning parents, peers at school and social media. As a result, rising numbers of young people suffer from self-doubt and anxiety. The antidote? According to neuropsychologist William Stixrud and self-proclaimed test-prep geek Ned Johnson, the key to overcoming anxiety and becoming a confident adult is control. Stixrud, who has spent 30 years helping teens with learning and anxiety disorders, teamed up with Johnson, who has spent 30 years calming overachieving teens, to write “Raising the Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives” (Penguin, 2018). Whether you have a toddler or teenager, there are steps you can take to help your child take control of his or her life and move toward that confident, self-motivated American ideal.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

1. BE A CONSULTANT What kind of parent are you? If you are a “Tiger Mom” who pushes your child to hit tennis balls six hours a day and practice piano for six hours a night, it’s unlikely your child has much opportunity to be in control of his or her life. On the other extreme, if you are a permissive parent, it’s unlikely your child has a chance to develop the sense of discipline he or she needs to be independent and self-motivated. There is, Stixrud suggests, a parenting “sweet spot” — somewhere between authoritarian and laissez-faire, where a child is given just the right amount of independence and just the right amount of guidance. “Be a consultant, not a director,” he recommends. A “consultant” parent provides basic rules and structure, and as much advice as needed, but does not insist on definite goals. Consider also your definition of “success.” If you immediately picture your child as a wealthy banker in New York, that’s fine. But keep it to yourself. Your child is already facing a world in which success is narrowly defined, Stixrud says. “Kids believe that if they don’t have straight A’s they won’t get into an elite college, and that if they don’t go to an elite college, they are going


to have a C+ life,” Stixrud says. He laments that low-achieving kids often give up before they start, and high-achieving kids lose sleep over an A-. Make sure you’re helping your child see the broader possibilities rather than further limiting the field. 2. AVOID COMPARISONS Every child is different and will require responsive adjustments in parenting style. Avoid comparing your child to his peers — or even siblings. An older sister might thrive playing club soccer and easily get straight A’s, while her younger brother might need quiet afternoons perched in his treehouse and earn mostly B’s. Stixrud points out that there is a low correlation between high school grades and later success. Instead of casting about for ideals in the media, or imposing your own expectations, take a close look at your child. Encourage her interests. Pursuing a passion — whether for modern dance or rock collecting — allows a child to experience the satisfaction of working hard at something she enjoys. Remember that your child will change as he matures. “We see kids who are a disaster of motivation, but as their prefrontal cortex develops, they come out of it,” Johnson says. “A child might be killing it at age 10, but might not be at the head of the pack at age 30. Prodigies don’t typically end up being musicians. And kids who are a mess now, are not necessarily a mess forever.” 3. ADDRESS ANXIETY A certain amount of stress can be good, Johnson says. He and Stixrud call this “optimal” stress, and explain that stress and competition actually increase motivation and productivity, up to a point. “Past that point,” Johnson says, “the fear of totally blowing it outweighs the motivation to excel.” If anxiety is affecting you or your child’s daily life, address it. “Stress is contagious,” Johnson says. “It can affect the whole family.” You can normalize stress by bringing it up at the dinner table. “Talking about a situation you are dealing with is a great way to introduce coping mechanisms,” suggests Abby Pressel, a licensed psychologist with Chapel Hill Pediatric Psychology. “You can mention practical ways you manage anxiety, such as focusing on relaxing your muscles and regulating your breathing.”

When your child is worried about a specific problem, listen and acknowledge her concerns. At the same time, gently challenge her assumptions. “Often, anxiety can be irrational,” Pressel says. “Try to put data behind the fear.” David Graham, a counselor at Davidson College, says students who successfully navigate the stresses of college are those who have outlets for stress, like a sports team, exercise class, favorite club or religious group. Help your child find some activity that allows him to relax. 4. LET YOUR CHILD TAKE OWNERSHIP “Autonomy research is dramatic,” Johnson says. “There have been studies in retirement homes that show if you give people choices, they live longer.” He points out that today’s kids have very little autonomy, spending most of their day at school where they have to raise their hand to speak or go to the bathroom. Afternoons and weekends tend to be overscheduled, leaving kids little opportunity for creative play, getting bored or having to figure out how to spend their day. Then, suddenly, in college they are free to do anything they want, Johnson points out. Before they go, help them feel internally motivated and confident enough to make decisions and advocate for themselves. Lucy Dunning, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks in Charlotte, suggests letting your child practice choice-making. “Kids are conditioned to wait and be directed,” she says. “You can boost your child’s confidence — even very young children — by letting them make choices, whether that is deciding on dinner or on what clothes to wear.” To keep things within the realm of reason, you can offer children a choice among a few safe options, she suggests. Eric Lipp, a Duke Cancer Institute senior clinical research coordinator whose seventhgrade daughter recently kickstarted a recycling program at her school, swears by the value of chores. Committed to raising self-sufficient and confident children, he and his wife Sharon, a psychiatric nurse, required their two girls to take on responsibility for household tasks before they could read. “We made them a chart with pictures,” Lipp says. “Brushing teeth, getting dressed, tying shoes, putting away toys. They would put a check beside each picture once they’d finished.” carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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All images in this article courtesy of Yuganov Konstantin/Shutterstock.com.

Stixrud and Johnson point out that while the decision-making part of the brain does not fully mature until a person’s mid-20s, this does not mean young people are bad at making decisions. 5. GIVE YOUR CHILD SPACE TO FAIL As a parent, watching your child fail can be excruciating. It’s tempting to “fix” things — to talk a teacher out of a low grade, beg a coach for a spot on the soccer team or step in to repair damaged friendships. But your child will struggle in the adult world if she never experiences failure growing up. Part of giving your child the freedom to choose is allowing her the freedom to make the wrong choice, i.e., the freedom to fail. Graham says a large number of Davidson College students — about 45 percent — visit the school’s heath center for counseling, and that many of them have anxiety issues. “These are high-achieving students, most of whom have always excelled at academics,” he says. “For them, getting a B for the first time can be devastating. They have never had to build up the resiliency.” Graham advises parents of middle- and high-schoolers to revisit their toddlerparenting strategies. “When your baby is learning to walk, and she falls, you encourage her to get back up. And she does. She gets back up and she walks,” he says. Introduce your child to role models who have struggled to achieve. Thomas Edison, who failed thousands of times before making

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

a successful lightbulb, is famously quoted as saying, “I’ve not failed, I successfully found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” In addition to external role models, be a model yourself. Teach self-encouragement by embracing your mistakes and sharing your strategies for overcoming them. Praise effort, not result. “It is helpful to frame experiences in terms of learning and growth rather than on an outcome or a grade,” Pressel says. “Being comfortable with imperfection makes you more confident, and more likely to try new experiences.” 6. PROVIDE STRUCTURE Dunning believes kids need rules to thrive, but that parents should be authoritative rather than authoritarian. “Parents should be providing kids with a framework for behavior,” she says. “And then, as kids get older, parents should gradually back away.” She says children understand consequences, so parents can define behavior in terms of choice. “If your child chooses to miss curfew, then they have chosen to stay at home the following night,” she says. Technology and social media are a wild west for rules and structure. Stixrud recommends family-wide policies. “It’s easy enough to place limits on video games when a child is young, but much harder as they get older,” he says. “Make a family rule that everyone will charge phones in the kitchen at night. Parents included.” It is vital to follow the rules yourself.

7. ALLOW FOR “RADICAL DOWNTIME” Graham says many of the freshmen he counsels at Davidson College are troubled by the 24/7 nature of college. “It’s hard to find a safe place on campus with no onlookers,” he says. “There is nowhere to let down your guard.” As long as students feel they are “flying under the radar” they are OK, but if they get attention, “it’s like being under a microscope,” he says. For a high-schooler, home should be that safe place college students are missing. Many of the parents Stixrud has talked to say that evenings with their teens can be like World War III, consisting of constant battles over homework. He suggests that instead of pestering your child about getting his homework done, simply let him know you are there to help. “Tell them you love them too much to fight about homework,” he says. “The fighting makes them less motivated to do the work, and is stressful to you as well.” To escape what Johnson calls the “mind-numbing effects” of social media, he and Stixrud recommend excluding technology during downtime at home, and have introduced the concept of “radical downtime,” which includes doing nothing at all and allows a child to daydream, meditate, sleep and relax. “Have Sunday mornings just be for pancakes,” Johnson says. Caitlin Wheeler is a freelance writer living in Durham.


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carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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BACK-TO-SCHOOL GEAR FOR THE HEROES IN YOUR LIFE BY MANDY HOWARD

Calling all Super Kids and their Marvel-ous parents! The school year is lurking like Thanos searching for the last Infinity Stone, but fear not, because we have everything you need to make this school year incredible! From themed gear to innovative designs featuring improved strength and performance, these supplies will help you earn Wonder Mom and BatDad status.

JANSPORT PIXARTHEMED BACKPACKS What’s the easiest way to ensure an incredible year for your student? With an “Incredibles 2” themed backpack, of course. JanSport, known for its lifetime backpack warranty, is offering a wide selection of Pixar-themed products this school year. The “My Way or the Runway” Incredibles Superbreak Backpack, for example, features the sharp and sassy Edna. (“No capes!”) jansport.com; $44.

ELMER’S GLOW IN THE DARK GLUE Glue remains an essential school supply for most kids. If you haven’t already bought it in bulk to get your child through six years of elementary school, pick up a bottle of Elmer’s Glow in the Dark Glue. It comes in liquid form that has a kryptonite-like affect, but in pink, blue or natural colors. elmers.com; $4.49.

FISKARS COLOR CHANGE SCISSORS Jack Jack may have picked up some cool new tricks in “Incredibles 2,” but he’s not the only one. If you’ve ever read a recommended school supply list, the name “Fiskars” is not new to you. A preferred scissors brand for teachers, Fiskars recently released a fun new option featuring heat-activated color changing handles. Available in Walmart stories only; $3.

EMTEC SUPERHERO USB DRIVES Remember the first time you had a floppy disk as part of your school supply list? Today’s kids use USB, or flash, drives to store and back up digital files. Emtec’s Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman and other superhero — or villain — USB drives feature sleek designs and 16 gigabytes of storage. staples.com; $29.99 for a 2-pack.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

FIVE STAR 3INCH BINDER WITH A REMOVABLE PADDED CASE Five Star has been a household name in school supply gear ever since its “Built Strong to Last Long” slogan had kids begging for the toughest name in notebooks. This school year, Five Star has expanded its super strength theme with the superheroworthy hashtag #StrengthNotStress. The 3-inch binder with a removable padded case includes a pouch that can hold a tablet (paper or electronic) and divide items by class, as well as a patent-pending removable strap. fivestardirect.us; $22.99-$29.99.

POSTIT FLAG+ BALLPOINT PEN AND HIGHLIGHTER The best superheroes are versatile. They can do it all. The same goes for this Post-it Flag+ Ballpoint Pen and Highlighter. It’s a pen, highlighter and Post-it flag dispenser all in one, making it a versatile note taking tool. post-it.com; $6.39.


Image courtesy of Alexandra Petruk/Shutterstock.com

ADVERTISE IN OUR

Looking for a way to reach our audience to advertise your school, educational program or service? Contact one of our media consultants today to find out how you can be DC COMICS REUSABLE SNACK BAGS Who’s going to save the planet from sheer destruction? Your child is! These reusable sandwich and snack bags will encourage your child to channel his or her inner Captain Planet (while displaying, on the outside, slightly more popular superheroes). bumkins.com; $5.95.

a part of our 2018-19 Education Guide.

carolinaparent.com ⁄cp⁄about-us⁄advertise

NALGENE MARVEL WATER BOTTLE Fly into the new school year with super-power hydration using a Nalgene Marvel-themed water bottle. A partnership between Nalgene and Marvel offers new bottles from 2018’s hottest Marvel films, “Black Panther” and “Avengers: Infinity War,” as well as classics like “Spider-Man” and “Captain America.” The water bottles are bisphenol A-free and dishwasher safe. nalgene.com; $12.99-$16. Mandy Howard is a mother of three and freelance writer in Raleigh. Photos courtesy of product companies. carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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10 Ways Moms Can Bond With Middle School Daughters Photos courtesy of Michelle Icard

pass on your annual holiday viewing of “The Sound of Music” just because you think she has outgrown it. She may not admit it, but she’ll appreciate (even with an eye roll) knowing there is stability with you.

BY MICHELLE ICARD

M

iddle school can be an exciting time for a girl. New friends, new school, new body, new crushes. Your baby is growing up — and that’s a good thing! But it’s not always smooth or easy. As she straddles childhood and teenage years, it’s hard for Mom to know where she fits in or what her new role is in parenting. As you navigate this new emotional territory, it’s important to give your daughter some leeway. Allow her to grow — and even make mistakes. However, as I tell mother/daughter pairs in my Right in the Middle workshops, it’s not only important to keep the lines of communication open and to be willing to have the difficult conversations, but to know when and how to communicate. Here are a few tips to get you started: 1. Develop a “Botox Brow.” Beginning around fifth or sixth grade, your daughter will start to assume you’re angry with her, even when you’re not. A teen’s brain uses the amygdala (the brain’s emotional center) to read people’s facial expressions, whereas an adult brain uses the more rational prefrontal cortex. The amygdala often misinterprets facial expressions. To avoid miscommunication during middle school, pretend you are a celebrity who has been over-Botoxed. In other words, if you keep a neutral expression when talking with your daughter, she’s less likely

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to think you’re angry and more willing to talk to you about sensitive matters. 2. Give each other space. Middle school requires resilience from mothers and daughters as they figure out who they are when they are apart from one another. Don’t freak out if your daughter pulls away from you, or if you find your daughter more aggravating than in the past. This is not an indication that you’ll spend future holidays apart, or end up not speaking to one another. It’s merely a normal part of growing up.

AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

3. Encourage your daughter to try new things. As your daughter figures out who she is on her journey toward independence, she will want to explore lots of new things. Of course, you’ll be all for her trying new clubs, sports and foods. But she will also want to try out new fashions, friends and personality traits. This is all part of the process. 4. Maintain rituals and traditions. So much will be new for you and your girl that it will be comforting to root yourselves in customary routines and traditions. Don’t

5. Never talk about clothes in the heat of the moment. Your daughter is adjusting to a new body, teen identity and confusing social trends. There will be many times she shows up for breakfast or emerges from a dressing room in something provocative or inappropriate. If you try to talk about it then and there, she will likely crumble. In a happy moment together, discuss some concrete guidelines for clothing. This should vary depending on the activity and company so she still has some space to experiment. You could say, for example, “You can wear ripped jeans to a birthday party, but not to your orchestra concert.” 6. Get a hobby. Just as your daughter is grappling with her emerging teen identity, you are likely pondering your own midlife identity. There is no better time to dive into something outside of your family. Give some thought to what brings you joy that has nothing to do with your kids, then do it. 7. Negotiate and contract. Your daughter’s brain will be going through some amazing changes during middle school. One is the ability to begin thinking more hypothetically, instead of so concretely. This is when magical thinking will begin to get annoying. She will try to negotiate her way through


all kinds of scenarios because, “maybe,” … “yeah, but,” … “it could.” Don’t resist her need to negotiate. Teach her how it’s done respectfully by engaging without emotional bias. Give her some small wins to build her trust and confidence in the process. She’ll be more likely to give you some, too. And after a good negotiation, write it down. A written contract will serve you both well as a reference point if things become heated in a misunderstanding later. 8. Become an assistant manager. Your daughter needs practice learning how to do the things that will make her a successful adult; such as managing her time, keeping a calendar, cleaning up after

herself, negotiating conflict and advocating for herself, for example. This is a long, messy process. Don’t expect success overnight. On average, adolescence now lasts about 14 years — from age 10-24 — according to a study published in January 2018 by The Lancet, a child and adolescent health journal. So give it time. Mostly, don’t try to micromanage your child or she will never learn. Allow her to try things, mess up and have an opportunity to fix it. Rinse and repeat. 9. Dust off the baby books. Things get very complicated for girls in middle school. Pull out your baby books and put them in a more central place in the house. From time to time,

look at old photos or family videos together. Your daughter will relax seeing how loved and adorable she is in a time when she may be full of self-doubt. 10. Don’t get involved in the friend stuff. The best way to help your daughter navigate painful friendships is by being a good sounding board. Let her know you can listen without doing anything. Most girls just want to download their emotions onto someone they can trust, and then they can move on. Pretend you’re listening to a co-worker or friend. You wouldn’t call her boss or husband to report how she’s feeling. Just show her the power of being a nonjudgmental friend and listener.

Michelle Icard is the author of “Middle School Makeover: Improving The Way You and Your Child Experience The Middle School Years.” She hosts Right in the Middle, a conference for girls entering middle school and their moms. Her next event is at The Glenwood in Raleigh on April 28, 2019, and registration is open online. Sign up at michelleinthemiddle.com/ mother-daughter-conference/ about (click on “conference” then “dates”).

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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a family group text to share quick messages, images or audio between each other. Others prefer to use FaceTime or other video chat apps. Here are some options to consider. Unless noted, these are all available for iPhone or Android devices.

Photos courtesy of WhatsApp

Image courtesy of 0beron/Shutterstock.com

Communicating With Your College Kid Tips and tech for staying connected

Y

our soon-to-be college student doesn’t remember a time when he didn’t have access to just about anything on demand. But as he heads off to college, the one thing he will no longer have instant access to is … YOU. Your child also won’t have your guidance in the ways he has been used to over the last 18 or so years. Whether he realizes it or not, it may take time for him — and you — to adjust. Whether your child attends college across town or across the country, college life is a world away from his experiences at home. He will have new responsibilities, friends, challenges and life lessons to learn — one of which is the importance of communication in healthy relationships, and how distance can play a substantial role in shaping how he communicates with you. Here are a few tips and some technology options for staying connected with your child when he heads off to college. PREPARE FOR A CHANGE IN COMMUNICATION STYLE College students and their parents have never been so accessible to each other — no matter the distance. While there are lots of apps and technology that allow you to connect with loved ones thousands of miles away whenever you want, all of this access can become burdensome if not approached thoughtfully. To avoid misunderstandings, discuss how you are going to maintain communication before your child leaves for college. Give her the freedom to lead the discussion about the arrangement. Encourage a healthy dialogue about boundaries and goals, and use this as an opportunity for her to have an adult conversation about communication styles.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Consider asking the following questions to get the conversation going: 1. What could we use as our primary form of communication? 2. If we want to “check in” with each other, how might we accomplish that? 3. If something is urgent, is it best to communicate via a voice call? NOTE: Avoid using words like “should” when discussing your communications arrangement, which implies obligation or pressure. USE AN APP TO MAKE COMMUNICATION FUN Many apps can help you stay connected while your child is away at college. The easiest apps to use are native smartphone messaging apps. Some families choose to use

WhatsApp – WhatsApp allows your entire family to share messages, videos and photos on one chat. Unlike some native smartphone messaging systems, WhatsApp messages can be synced between phone and desktop devices. WhatsApp also supports sending voice messages, as well as making voice and video calls using data or Wi-Fi.

Photos courtesy of Houseparty

BY TIVI JONES

Houseparty – Houseparty allows group video chat on mobile or desktop devices for up to eight people at the same time. Similar to AIM, a pioneering chat app that was discontinued in 2017, Houseparty informs others that you’re “in the house” and available to chat. You can also identify yourself as being “away” or log out completely. Messenger – Connected to your Facebook account, Messenger can handle text, audio, video or photo messaging between you and other family members. Like WhatsApp, you can communicate with groups, but with Messenger you can also send money to your family members securely or play games together in real time while you video chat.


Bitmoji – While not a social networking app, Bitmoji is a favorite communication tool because it allows you to create your own personal emojis and share them with contacts. Bitmoji images can be shared via text message or email, or within SnapChat. GO ANALOG Don’t forget about surprising your college student with physical care packages. These are popular during holidays and exam weeks. Although college students are a part of what San Diego State University psychology professor Jean M. Twenge calls iGen — a generation that’s continuously connected to their smartphones — care packages never go out of style for them. In addition to using digital communication, periodically send your child a care package with her favorite homemade goodies, snacks, sundry items, gift cards, shower accessories or dorm room supplies. Make your own or consider one of these care package resources: • Edible Arrangements – Send beautiful and delicious fruit and candy bouquets. ediblearrangements.com • Sugarfina – Gift your child with candygram gift boxes of (non-alcoholic) champagne, gummy bears and other sugary treats. sugarfina.com/candygram • Insomnia Cookies – Send your child a box of warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies, which can be delivered until 3 a.m. on weekdays and weekends since there are locations in 43 of the 50 states with many setting up shop in college towns. insomniacookies.com • Amazon Prime – Consider gifting your student with an Amazon Prime Student membership for saving money on textbooks, snacks, toiletries and other items. amazon.com • Digital photo storage sites – Sometimes you want Image courtesy of Sergey Mastepanov/ Shutterstock.com

more than a picture in a text message. Create custom photo books, mugs and more with digital photo storage sites such as Shutterfly (shutterfly.com) and Snapfish (snapfish.com). DON’T ASSUME THE WORST It’s safe to assume that your primary mode of communication with your child will involve texting. According to the October 2017 issue of Inc. magazine, 75 percent of college-age students prefer texting over voice messaging as their primary mode of communication. However, try not to assume how your child is feeling based on his responses — or lack of responses. The tone of a reply is sometimes hard to discern from brief, texted communication, so if you’re getting short responses, don’t automatically assume something is wrong. Sometimes “OK” just means OK. BE FLEXIBLE Once your child is away at college, keep in mind that the responsibilities, excitement and pressures of college life may be different than any of you anticipated. Be nimble to your communication style evolving over time until your child gets used to his new lifestyle. If you need to renegotiate your communication arrangement, take time during home visits to discuss whether the current agreement is working for all parties. Additionally, be open to using new apps and forms of communication with your child. Software and systems go in and out of fashion with college students at the “speed of byte.” Tivi Jones is founder of Hey Awesome Girl!, a creative house for women. She is also a contributing writer for “U Chic: The College Girl’s Guide to Everything,” now in its fifth edition.

DO’S AND DON’TS Do’s 1. Keep the ratio of who initiates contact one-toone. If you feel the urge to reach out to your child more frequently than she reaches out to you, resist it, so you won’t seem overbearing. 2. Send “low pressure” messages. Don’t always ask a ton of questions that make your child feel like she needs to write an essay to respond. Send quick messages or ones that don’t require a response at all. 3. Consider texting before you request a video call. Your child may not be in the best mood, location or situation to FaceTime with you, so always text before you FaceTime and encourage your child to do the same. If you need to talk to your child urgently, use voice only. 4. Mix up your communication style by using text, videos, images, virtual stickers, Bitmojis and other fun technology to express yourself. Yes, college kids think it’s sort of cheesy when their parents jump on digital trends, but they also think it’s cool when parents “get” their communication style or preference. Don’ts 1. Dictate the communication structure. Communication is a two-way street, and a mutually beneficial communication style will require negotiation and compromise on both sides. 2. Use social media to communicate personally. Resist tagging your child on social media when you want his attention on personal matters. Public social networking sites are not the place to hash out family discussions. Use private communication tools to do that. 3. Assume that the face-to-face time you had with your child while he was at home will now be converted into time spent talking on audio or video calls. Some college students prefer to speak with their parents every day, others don’t. Discuss your desired frequency of communication with your child before he leaves. 4. Send sensitive information via thirdparty apps. If you’re sending your child confidential information, like account numbers, these are situations where a direct text or phone call is warranted.

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com


GROWING UP Image courtesy of Lorelyn Medina/Shutterstock.com

ELEMENTARY YEARS

Beyond Booksmart Choosing extracurricular pursuits that enrich your child’s mind

W

BY MALIA JACOBSON

ant to raise a kid who excels at school and beyond? Think outside the classroom. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, extracurricular activities boost kids’ community connections and are linked to better grades and school attendance. Finding the right fit for your child, however, isn’t always easy. What’s the right age to begin after-school classes? How can families choose activities that will enrich their children’s lives without adding pressure, conflict or unrealistic expectations? How and when should parents encourage children to persist, or decide it’s time for a graceful exit? Here is age-by-age guidance on finding extracurricular pursuits that round out your child’s education without ramping up stress.

EARLY YEARS

Bright Beginnings Parents shouldn’t rush tots into classes and clubs, says parent educator Tara Egan, founder of Charlotte Parent Coaching. Young children enrolled in high-quality preschools are likely already participating in subjects like art, physical education and music, so adding to their schedule might not yield additional benefits. If you do want to give classes a go, Egan offers a few guidelines for caregivers. First, make sure your child can separate comfortably from you before you register him or her for child-only courses. Kids who aren’t quite ready can participate in parent-child gym or swim classes in the meantime. Next, ensure that your child’s coach has experience working with very young children, and look for classes that don’t require your child to stay up late or miss naptimes or meals. Hungry and/ or tired children don’t benefit much from any class, no matter how much they like the topic or teacher.

Decision Drama Grade-schoolers are often ready to play a larger role in choosing their own extracurricular activities, says Karen Petty, a professor of family studies at Texas Woman’s University. Parents still need to guide their children’s selections with an eye toward managing the family’s overall schedule and bank account. “Choice-making builds self-efficacy and allows children to have a sense of control over their time outside of school, which is a good thing,” Petty says. “But parents should put financial and time parameters on their choices.” Allowing kids to select from a short list of activities — whittled down by parents based on the family’s schedule and budget — helps kids think through their choices and prevents them from jumping into a popular pastime simply because their friends are doing the same. Using phrases like “You can choose soccer or ballet but not both,” or “It looks like gymnastics, dance, piano and softball won’t all fit in our family schedule, so choose two of those,” and marking time commitments on a shared family calendar (color-coding with one color per child is helpful) helps children see how their activities fit into the family’s bigger picture.

TEEN YEARS

Quitting Time At some point, most teens find themselves at a crossroads with a commitment they’ve made and consider quitting. When a onceenjoyed pursuit yields more stress than enjoyment, it’s time for a talk with your teen. “If a child is struggling with an activity they used to like, parents should attempt to find out why,” Egan says. “Is there a mismatch between the coach and your child? Is there a peer conflict? Most issues can be addressed, like asking a coach to speak with your child one-on-one, or bringing a bullying behavior to the attention of the coaching staff.” In general, parents should set an expectation that kids will finish out the sports season before quitting, because they’ve committed to teammates, Egan says. But there are some valid reasons to quit, too. If your child is exhausted and overscheduled, needs more time to focus on school or simply wants to explore new horizons, help map an exit strategy that focuses on how and when to make the change, and that includes thanking the coach and letting key teammates know of the decision. Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is “Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.” carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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White Knuckles and Quick Feet BY BRUCE HAM

I

n the summer of 1970, my mother

having a conversation with the principal. It

could have made it back to the car again

informed me that I would be going to

was at that point that I knew I would beat her

before she did, but I wasn’t sure how long she

Walker Spivey Elementary School the

back to the car. Relief showered my psyche.

had been gone — and there was the paddle

coming fall for first grade. I asked if she

Certainly, I could convince my mother that

issue to consider. I took several deep breaths

would be coming with me. She said she would

she had made a horrible mistake — that

and continued my day.

not. I declined her offer for education.

leaving me was shirking her responsibilities

My oldest daughter, Bailey, inherited my

as a parent and that she should immediately

disdain for separation. She, too, was a clinger.

me to school and escorted me to Mrs.

take me home. I longed to watch Captain

Every day of kindergarten her teacher, Mrs.

Hawk’s classroom. I clung to her leg as if

Kangaroo and Mr. Green Jeans on my favorite

Asher, peeled her off her mother’s leg as part

it were the safety bar on an upside-down

morning TV show.

of a grueling morning ritual in the hallway at

When the day came, Mom drove

roller coaster. Mrs. Hawk peeled me off,

Mom was quite surprised to find me

St. Timothy’s School.

one finger at a time, while my classmates

waiting in the passenger seat of our paneled

watched in amazement. My mother then

station wagon. My always-prepared mother

longer cling to my mother’s leg, and Bailey is

abruptly left me in this unfamiliar room

reached in the back seat of the car and pulled

a senior at George Washington University in

filled with strangers.

out a small paddle. She tucked it in the side

Washington, D.C. This summer, as I lugged

My teacher sat me at my desk and

It’s amazing how things change. I no

of her very large pocketbook with the handle

our 20-year-old denim playroom couch up

began her work with the others students. I

sticking out just far enough to remind me she

the stairs to her first apartment, I marveled at

was in utter disbelief at the cruelty that had

had backup.

how far we’d come. Ironically, there was a bit

just been bestowed upon me. I pondered my next move. When Mrs. Hawk became distracted, I

Her words were simple: “Come with me.”

of clinging again. Yeah, it was me.

To this day I’m not sure why my mom had a paddle in the backseat of her car. She

Bruce Ham, who lives in Raleigh, started

took control of the situation and bolted out

never, ever spanked me. But the idea of it

writing after losing his wife and raising his

the back door of my classroom. I wasn’t sure

was motivating.

three daughters on his own eight years ago.

of the site’s landscape, but I was smart enough

She walked me back to the classroom

He has written a book, “Laughter, Tears

— and fast enough — to maneuver myself

and sat behind me. I surprisingly became

and Braids,” about their journey, and writes

around the side of the building, where I saw

enthralled by Mrs. Hawk’s lesson and, at some

a blog about his family's experience at

my mother standing in a windowed hallway

point, my mother disappeared. I possibly

therealfullhouse.wordpress.com.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Image courtesy of Mix3r/Shutterstock.com

FATHER FIGURING


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27


TECH TALK

What to Do When Your Child's Homework Requires Internet Access BY LAURA TIERNEY

computer use and homework time. With student assignments increasingly requiring the internet, parents are left wondering how to ensure their children aren’t texting friends or playing

games, instead of solving math problems or writing research papers. This is no surprise. A 2015 study conducted by the Hispanic

• Disable your child’s phone during the agreed-upon homework time using an app like Circle With Disney. • Turn off iMessage on Apple devices so your child won’t receive texts while doing homework. Kids can send and

Heritage Foundation, the Family Online Safety Institute and

receive texts using the iMessage app on a Mac (computer),

myCollegeOptions.org found that 98.5 percent of American high

so turn that off, too.

school students (across all racial/ethnic backgrounds) use the internet

• Use Find My iPhone (Apple) or Find My Phone (Android) to lock

daily for assignments. And according to a study from Teen Research

your child’s cell phone during homework time. It’s meant to be

Unlimited conducted for the Verizon Foundation, students are using

a safety feature in case you lose your device, but it works for

more than just a computer, perhaps out of necessity.

homework time, too.

• 42 percent of sixth-graders reported using a smartphone to complete their homework.

• If your child uses an iPhone, turn on the “Do Not Disturb While Driving” feature. You can choose to enable the setting manually

• 39 percent of seventh-graders reported using one.

(not just while driving), and customize an automatic outgoing

• 57 percent of eighth-graders reported using one.

message that politely lets friends know your child is busy.

Set up your child for success at home with helpful homework routines and guidelines. Be aware of what she can do on her computer

RECOGNIZE THE BENEFITS OF A HOME COMPUTER

that you may think she can only do on her phone. And, depending on

A study done by the National Bureau of Economic Research between

your child’s age, consider having a conversation with her teacher.

2008 and 2010 found that although having a computer at home often means kids spend more time playing video games and using social media,

CREATE A HOMEWORK ROUTINE WITH YOUR CHILD

their grades are not affected. Or, as was reported in The Washington

Start by choosing a place in the house where homework is always done.

Post, having a home computer did not have “a measurable effect.”

This will vary by child. Some will work best in a quiet area that’s free of

In fact, according to the study, kids with computers at home with

distractions — digital and otherwise. Another child may work best in

access to the internet were helped “in an unexpected way. It made

the dining room or family room — somewhere people are coming and

them more social — not just online, but in real life.”

going. Be sure to set a homework schedule that includes a break time. Create a space that is free of technology, too. Students still have

Helping your child use a computer to complete homework starts with setting up a homework space and time, and then choosing

some old-fashioned homework assignments to complete, for which

settings and restrictions. But what you’re really teaching is a life skill:

only pen and paper are necessary — or maybe even just a book.

How to focus. And that’s what’s most important, whether there’s a device in front of your child or not.

PUT LIMITS ON INCOMING AND OUTGOING TEXTS Group texting is one of the most popular ways teens stay in touch.

Laura Tierney, a digital native who got her first phone at age 13, is founder

That “ding” is, as you may have experienced, is hard to ignore. Help

and president of The Social Institute, which offers students positive ways to

your child minimize digital distractions when doing homework

handle one of the biggest drivers of their social development: social media.

using one of these tricks.

She also recently became a mom. Learn more at thesocialinstitute.com.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Photo courtesy of kwanchai.c/Shutterstock.com

M

any parents often wonder how to manage their child’s


UNDERSTANDING KIDS

10 Tips for a Great School Year BY ADRIAN H. WOOD

A

ll over this great state, families are gearing up for the beginning of a new school year (or are in total denial). As you enthusiastically prepare for the first day of school, here are a few ways you, as a parent, can help ensure a successful year.

too hasty with a complaint via phone or email; however …

1. Wipe the slate clean. Whether or not your child had a fantastic teacher last year, it’s time to start anew. Relinquish grudges and expect a good experience. Your example will go a long way for your child, and may deter her from become a serial complainer.

9. Include all families. Every school year there will most likely be new children who have moved to the area or transferred from another school. Encourage your child to reach out to the new student(s). Invite him or her over to play. Don’t forget about children with special needs — many of whom rarely get invited to parties. The same goes for you reaching out to these students’ parents. It’s never a bad thing to practice what you preach.

2. Reach out to your child’s teacher on a personal level. Introduce yourself via email or whatever digital communication the teacher prefers, and share a few of your child’s character traits — good and bad — with the teacher. Keep it light and, most importantly, be supportive. 3. Volunteer. Time is valuable to school administrators and teachers. Even if you can’t be in the classroom on a regular basis, consider organizing a class party or sending in popsicles for a special treat. Ask your child’s teacher if there are ways you can help at home, or what wish list items he or she still needs.

8. Speak up. If something seems amiss, it’s reasonable to ask questions. If you’re bothered by something your child shares with you, call or email the teacher to discuss it.

The author’s daughter, Blair, poses with her second-grade teacher, Tracy Faircloth, and assistant teacher, Carolyn Leary, at White Oak Elementary School in Edenton. Photo courtesy of Adrian H. Wood

4. Be positive. Take time to acknowledge the good things that happen at school with your child, such as a conversation during which your child boasted about her teacher or reported on a fun activity. Consider sharing this with the teacher and principal the next time you see them. 5. Spend time with your child at school. Do something to show your child you are invested in his school and education — whether you take flowers to the office or read to your child’s

class. Join your child and her friends for lunch, if the school permits it. 6. Join the PTA. Again, everyone is busy, but there are simple, time-efficient ways to help the PTA, from planning a teacher lunch to manning a booth at the school carnival. 7. Expect a few glitches at the beginning of the school year. It takes a little time for students, teachers and administrators to iron out the kinks. Don’t be

10. Remember, change begins with you. Model kindness and acceptance, offer help and time, expect greatness and commitment, and be openly thankful. Fuel the flames for a positive environment and make sure teachers feel loved and appreciated by both your student and you. Adrian H. Wood, Ph.D., is a North Carolina writer who lives in Edenton with her husband and four children, the youngest of whom has extra-special needs. Read more of her writing at talesofaneducateddebutante.com.

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

29


COLLEGE TRANSITIONS

2018 Admission Rates Is getting into college becoming harder? BY DAVE BERGMAN, ED.D.

T

he results from the 2017-18

10.3 percent of applicants in

admissions cycle are still

2018, compared to 12.5 percent

rolling in, but the data

in 2017.

available thus far sends one

very clear message: Acceptance

Other Elite Institutions

applicants in 2018, resulting in

campuses, experienced a similar

rates at highly-selective colleges

More dramatic drops took place

many being rejected from what

phenomenon to what occurred

are dwindling. Let’s examine this.

at other prestigious, non-Ivy

they (and their counselors) firmly

in California’s state system. An

League schools. For example,

believed were safety schools. The

influx of applications caused

Ivy League Results

New York University’s acceptance

University of California at Berkeley

many students to be rejected

The numbers at Ivy League

rate plummeted from 28 percent

and the University of California

from branch campuses that they

schools were already so

to 19 percent in a single year.

at Los Angeles have long been

considered, based on the 2017

miniscule that this year’s

Villanova University’s admission

recognized as highly-selective

cycle, to be safety schools.

decreases can only be expressed

rate went down by 7 percent,

schools, but this year three other

with decimals. Princeton

Boston College’s dropped by

University of California campuses

Is Getting Into College

University fell from 6.1 percent

5 percent, the University of

— San Diego, Irvine and Santa

Actually Getting Harder?

to 5.5 percent; the University of

South Carolina’s fell 3 points to

Barbara — were deluged with

Just because a particular school’s

Pennsylvania admitted just 8.4

just 13 percent and Stanford

six figures' worth of applications.

application numbers go up

percent in 2018 versus 9.1 percent

University maintained its “lowest

Applications to the University

and admission rate goes down

in 2017, and Harvard University

acceptance rate” status at 4.3

of California at Riverside spiked

doesn’t necessarily mean that

said yes to only 4.6 percent of

percent. MIT went down a touch

more than 12 percent. In

it is becoming more difficult to

applicants after welcoming 5.2

to 6.7 percent. Overall, these

response, students interested

get into that institution. After all,

percent in 2017. After a slight

numbers send a clear indication

in attending the University of

some of the shrinking admission

bump in 2017 due to increasing

that the cutthroat competition to

California system will have to

percentages are attributable to

the number of students on

get into the nation’s top colleges

recalibrate their expectations,

the ongoing upward trend of

campus, Yale University’s arrow

and universities continues to

acknowledging that the entire

teens applying to more schools.

turned downward once again

trend upward.

network of schools is now on a

It’s essential to look in-depth at

whole new plane of selectivity.

the academic profile of admitted

with a 6.3 percent acceptance

Back in 2006, the University

students at a given university

The aforementioned Ivy

of Washington received roughly

to see if a diminishing rate of

well — from 8.3 percent to 7.2

League and other elite colleges

16,000 applications; in 2018 it

admission is truly indicative of

percent, and 5.8 percent to 5.5

have all experienced steadily

received 46,000. The number

swelling competition.

percent, respectively.

climbing application numbers

of applications to the University

Dartmouth University shed

in recent years. It’s important to

of Florida, the University of

Bates College rose a staggering

a double-digit acceptance rate

understand, however, that this

Connecticut, the University of

45 percent between 2017 and

in 2017, falling to 8.7 percent.

trend can also be seen at state

Maryland and the University

2018. Yet, the profile of admitted

Cornell University stayed in

universities across the country.

of North Carolina campuses all

students (based on SAT/ACT

double digits, but only by a

The University of California

soared as well. In fact, the UNC

scores, GPA and other stats) did

system, with its many branch

not change significantly. On

rate. Brown and Columbia

State Universities

universities’ rates shrunk as

hair. The university welcomed

30

system was inundated with

AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

For example, applications at


Photo courtesy of RawPixel.com/Shutterstock.com

the other hand, NYU received a

Dave Bergman, Ed.D., is a

record 75,000 applications in 2018

co-founder of College Transitions, a

and also became more selective.

team of college planning experts

The average SAT for a member

committed to guiding families

of the class of 2022 was 1440; the

through the college admissions

average SAT for the class of 2018

process. He is also co-author of

was 1340.

“The Enlightened College

For more school-specific data

Applicant: A New Approach

of this nature — plus a wealth

to the Search and Admissions

of other information — visit

Process.” Learn more at

collegetransitions.com.

collegetransitions.com.

Tour Today

Waldorf High School One of Only 43 Nationwide

Where Students Learn to Think Beyond Themselves www.emersonwaldorf.org - 919 967 1858 carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

31


EXCURSION

Georgia’s St. Simons and Cumberland Islands BY MICHAEL SCHUMAN

T

here are well over a dozen prominent barrier islands off the coast of Georgia, and they come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. But unlike hors d’oeuvres, these islands are best taken in full doses. Trying to explore more than

Look for feral horses on the beaches of Cumberland Island National Seashore.

one in a day could lead to burnout, information overload and visual indigestion. A two-day trip is a sufficient amount of time to visit two islands

taking memorable photos. And those who make it far enough will

that are mirror opposites. Cumberland Island National Seashore

reach an expansive, smooth-sanded beach, ideal for beachcombing

looks about as it did in 1972, when the U.S. Congress designated

and sunbathing.

it as a national seashore. St. Simons Island, which is just an hour’s drive north, has modernized over time but claims a rich Colonial

St. Simons Island

American history.

If Cumberland Island leans toward rustic experiences, St. Simons Island professes glamour. There are, however, plenty of options for

Cumberland Island National Seashore

those whose budgets don’t permit a second home or stay at a four-

Visitors reach Cumberland Island by ferry — no cars are allowed.

or five-star resort.

(As such, ferry reservations are strongly recommended at

The whitewashed, 104-foot-high St. Simons Lighthouse, also

cumberlandislandferry.com.) Once on the island, most visitors do

referred to as the St. Simons Island Light, beckons those who

one of two things: Take a six-hour, guided van tour that reaches all

enjoy a commanding view upon climbing the structure’s 129-step

corners of the island; or visit the island via foot power, tackling all or

spiral staircase. Perhaps the best way to get an overview of St.

part of the 4.3-mile, self-guided Southend Loop trail.

Simons Island is by trolley. St. Simons Trolley Island Tours, for

The Southend Loop hike can be tiresome for small kids and

example, takes visitors past landmarks sharing tales of nearly

parents pushing strollers, especially where hikers must traverse

400 years of the island’s history, which includes slavery and time

soft sand. But there are rewards for those who take it. The diverse

spent on the island by Methodist Church founder John Wesley,

landscape ranges from sand dunes to palms to canopies of Spanish

who served at Christ Episcopal Church there.

moss hanging from live oaks. Expect to see wild horses. While beautiful to photograph, keep

John and his brother, Charles, conducted the first service. Both brothers were Church of England priests who volunteered

in mind that they are feral, so touching or feeding is not permitted.

as missionaries to the colony of Georgia, arriving in March 1736.

The ghostly remains of a Gilded Age mansion once owned by an

Although their experiences on the island were difficult, they were

heir of steel magnate Andrew Carnegie provides another spot for

32

AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com

able to establish a congregation there that is known today as Christ


Come Celebrate your Smile with us! Church. The current church building dates to 1884, but the congregation was founded in 1736. In 1742, British troops stationed at Fort Frederica on St. Simons Island defeated the Spanish, ensuring Georgia's future as a British colony. Exploring the remnants of the Fort Frederica National Monument is like walking through a ghost town. When you traverse the dirt paths, you’re strolling through the main thoroughfares of what was once a village of 1,000 colonists. Historic markers tell the stories of Fort Frederica’s citizens, including details of their personal lives. For example, tavern

Martha Ann Keels, DDS PhD Dylan S. Hamilton, DMD MS

keeper Samuel Davison and his family left Fort Frederica in 1741 because they disliked living next to surgeon and apothecary Thomas Hawkins due to his erratic and sometimes violent wife, Beatre, who, according to the National Parks Service Historic Americans Building Survey, attacked John Wesley with a pistol and tried to kill him. Raleigh is approximately six hours from St. Simons Island. Cumberland Island is an hour south of St. Simons Island. Learn more about Cumberland Island at nps.gov/cuis/index. htm and St. Simons Island at explorestsimonsisland.com. Award winning author Michael Schuman has written 46 books and hundreds of travel articles. PICTURED ON LEFT: The 4.3-mile, self-guided Southend Loop trail offers diverse views of Cumberland Island National Seashore. Visitors can view the remnants of Fort Frederica on St. Simons Island. The St. Simons Lighthouse stands 104 feet tall.

We Welcome New Patients!! 2711 North Duke Street Durham, NC 27704

919-220-1416

www.dukestreetsmiles.com Photos courtesy of Michael Schuman

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

33


CALENDAR AUGUST 2018

OUR PICKS BY AUDREY PAYNE

NC Japan Summer Festival Aug. 4 Take a trip to Japan without leaving the Triangle. The NC Japan Summer Festival at the North Carolina State Fairgrounds’ Exposition Center in Raleigh, 1-7 p.m., Photos courtesy of the Nippon Club of the Triangle

celebrates the Land of the Rising Sun and its culture with authentic cuisine, martial arts demonstrations, a karaoke contest, children’s parades, taiko drumming, traditional bon dancing and a community market. Purchase advance tickets at ncjapanfest.org. Tickets are $5 for ages 13 and older, which allows early entry to the festival at 11 a.m. Tickets are $6 at the door. Ages 12 and younger are admitted for free.

Cirque du Soleil’s “Crystal” | Aug. 15-19 If you thought Cirque du Soleil couldn’t get any more spectacular, think again, because this year the family-favorite show returns Photo courtesy of Paperhand Puppet Intervention

with a twist. “Crystal” — the first-ever Cirque du Soleil show on ice at PNC Arena in Raleigh — combines ice skating and acrobatics to introduce audiences to a character named Crystal as she journeys through self-discovery and dives into her imagination to find who she is truly meant to be. See ticketmaster.com for show times and

Photo courtesy of Matt Beard/Costumes: Marie-Chantale Vaillancourt/2017 Cirque du Soleil

to purchase tickets, $51 and up.

“In the Heart of the Fire” | Aug. 3-Sept. 23 Paperhand Puppet Intervention’s 19th annual puppet extravaganza, “In the Heart of the Fire,” explores the gift of fire and what makes all of us human, combining myths from around the world to tell an inspiring and moving story. Performances include masked dancing, shadow puppetry and stilt walking. See paperhand.org for show times. Performances take place Aug. 3-Sept. 3 and Sept. 14-23 at Forest Theater in Chapel Hill. Purchase general admission tickets at the door, $15 for adults and $10 for ages 3-14. For performances at the North Carolina Museum of Art Sept. 7-9, purchase tickets, $8.50-$17, at ncartmuseum.org.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com


CALENDAR AUGUST 2018

PERFORMANCES AUG. 1-4 – Church on Morgan, 136 E. Morgan St., Raleigh. See website for show times and to purchase tickets. $12/adult, $10/child, $40/family four-pack. The three Gruff kids don’t get along, but that doesn’t concern them much until the youngest Billy Goat Gruff runs away from her brothers and encounters a troll. aggregatetheatre.com.

CLAYTON YOUTH THEATER PRESENTS “BYE BYE BIRDIE” AUG. 2-4 – The Clayton Center, 111 E. Second St., Clayton. All ages. 7 p.m. $12/adult, $6 ages 18 and younger. When rock star and teen idol Conrad Birdie is drafted into the army, his manager, Albert Peterson, faces financial ruin. Desperate for a publicity stunt big enough to help him survive Birdie’s departure, Albert and his secretary, Rose, hatch a plan to send Conrad to small-town America to sing one last song and give a kiss to a lucky fan on national TV. Purchase tickets online. claytonyouththeater.com/shows.html.

“KIDZ BOP LIVE” AUG. 3 – Red Hat Amphitheater, 500 S. McDowell St., Raleigh. 6 p.m. See the website for fees. Enjoy popular songs performed by the Kidz Bop kids. Purchase ticket online. ticketmaster.com.

“DARCI LYNNE AND FRIENDS LIVE” AUG. 5 – Booth Amphitheatre, 8003 Regency Pkwy., Cary. All ages. 6 p.m. $25-$50. See young ventriloquist Darci Lynne, the youngest contestant ever to win “America’s Got Talent,” perform with her puppet friends. Purchase tickets online. boothamphitheatre.com.

AGGREGATE THEATRE COMPANY PRESENTS “HANSEL AND GRETEL AND LITTLE RED RIDINGHOOD” AUG. 8-11 – Church on Morgan, 136 E. Morgan St., Raleigh. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets. $12/adult, $10/child, $40/family fourpack. Enjoy a mash-up of two beloved children’s tales. Hansel, Gretel and Red are surrounded by a bunch of kooky adults: an oblivious father, a conniving stepmother, a hungry wolf and a witch that keeps making up her own lyrics to show tunes. Through smarts and luck, the kids try to find a way out of the woods and back to their home. aggregatetheatre.com.

“BEAUTY AND THE BEAST SINGALONG” AUG. 10 – Booth Amphitheater, 8003 Regency Pkwy., Cary. All ages. 8:30 p.m. $5/adult. Free for ages 12 and younger. Sing along to Disney’s classic film. Purchase tickets online. boothamphitheatre.com/event/ beauty-the-beast-sing-a-long-pg.

“BEATLES VS. ELVIS: A MUSICAL SHOWDOWN” AUG. 13 – Fletcher Opera Theater, 2 E. South St., Raleigh. All ages. 7:30 p.m. $35-$65. Observe the 41st anniversary of Elvis’ passing by seeing two tribute bands, The Fab Four and Scot Bruce, face off in an adrenaline-pumping musical duel. Purchase tickets online. ticketmaster.com.

HAPPY DAN THE MAGIC MAN PERFORMS AUG. 15 – Renaissance Centre, 405 Brooks St., Wake Forest. All ages. 11 a.m. $5/ person. See Happy Dan perform magic, comedy and more. wakeforestrencen.org.

AGGREGATE THEATRE COMPANY PRESENTS “THE IMAGINATION SHOW” AUG. 15-18 – Church on Morgan, 136 E. Morgan St., Raleigh. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets. $12/adult, $10/child, $40/family four-pack. See actors create a brand-new fairy tale based on suggestions from the audience. aggregatetheatre.com.

Image courtesy of Ticketmaster

AGGREGATE THEATRE COMPANY PRESENTS “THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF: THE MUSICAL”

AGGREGATE THEATRE COMPANY PRESENTS “GISELLE LA TRENT THE GAZELLEPHANT” AUG. 22-25 – Church on Morgan, 136 E. Morgan St., Raleigh. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets. $12/adult, $10/child, $40/family fourpack. Follow a fourth-grader named Giselle, who is half gazelle, half elephant and 100 percent rock star, on her first day at Thomas Girafferson Elementary. aggregatetheatre.com.

CELTIC JAM AUG. 24 – Carrboro Century Center, 100 N. Greensboro St., Carrboro. All ages. 7:30-9 p.m. $3/person. Take the family for a night of jigs, reels and all things Celtic. carrbororec.org. Darci Lynne, the youngest contestant to win “America’s Got Talent,” performs Aug. 5 at Booth Amphitheatre in Cary.

“INTO THE WOODS”

Photo courtesy of Jerry Hymer

AUG 3-5 – Raleigh Little Theatre, 301 Pogue St., Raleigh. All ages. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets. $15/person. A childless baker and his wife, eager to lift a family curse, journey into the woods where they encounter familiar faces, including Rapunzel, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood and other fairy-tale creatures. Raleigh Little Theatre’s Teens on Stage and Teens Backstage present this musical. raleighlittletheatre.org/shows/into-the-woods.

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

35


CALENDAR AUGUST 2018

FESTIVALS DURHAM LATINO FESTIVAL AUG. 11 – Rock Quarry Park, 701 Stadium Dr., Durham. Noon-5 p.m. Free. Authentic cuisine, an arts and crafts marketplace, kids’ activities and live performances highlight this celebration of Latino and Hispanic traditions and folklore. durhamnc.gov/3548/durham-latino-festival.

GLUTEN AND ALLERGENFREE WELLNESS EVENT AUG. 11 – North Carolina State Fairgrounds, Kerr Scott Building, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. $10/adult. Free for children ages

12 and younger. Enjoy products from gluten- and allergen-free vendors, lectures and demonstrations about gluten and allergen-free living, and more. Purchase tickets online. gfafwellnessevent.com.

ARTSPACE’S SUMMER CELEBRATION AUG. 18 – Artspace, 201 E. Davie St., Raleigh. 12:30-3 p.m. Free. See a special exhibit showcasing the work of Artspace’s talented young artists. Music and treats round out the fun. artspacenc.org/classes-education/summerarts-program/summer-celebration.

HONEYBEE DAY AT THE STATE FARMERS MARKET AUG. 18 – State Farmers Market, 1201 Agriculture St., Raleigh. All ages. 11 a.m.1 p.m. Free. Learn about pollinators, and sample local honey and honey-based products. ncagr.gov.

TRIANGLE CHILDREN’S BUSINESS FAIR AUG. 18 – Park West Village, Village Market Place, Morrisville. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Shop for products and services created by young

Celebrate North Carolina farming at the Harvest and Hornworm Festival Aug. 25 at Duke Homestead.

entrepreneurs ages 6-14, who keep any profits from sales they make and can earn cash prizes for their business idea, creativity and presentation. trianglecbf.com.

TRIANGLE VEGFEST AUG. 19 – Durham Armory, 220 Foster St., Durham. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. Explore the benefits of a plantbased lifestyle with vendors, food trucks, free food samples and live music. trianglevegfest.com.

JURASSIC QUEST AUG. 24-26 — Raleigh Convention Center, 500 S. Salisbury St., Raleigh. See the website for festival hours and to purchase tickets. $20-$34. Walk among the dinosaurs during the Cretaceous, Jurassic and Triassic periods. See life-size replicas of adult and baby dinosaurs, dig for fossils, ride on the back of a Tyrannosaurus rex, make crafts and more. jurassicquest.com/raleigh.

HARVEST AND HORNWORM FESTIVAL AUG. 25 – Duke Homestead, 2828 Duke Homestead Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Free. Celebrate North Carolina’s farming culture and history with hands-on history activities, a looping contest, a hornworm race, live music, and local arts and crafts vendors. dukehomestead.org/special-events.php.

UPTOWN ROXBORO PERSONALITY FESTIVAL AUG. 24-25 – Uptown Roxboro, 211 N. Main St., Roxboro. 4-10 p.m. Friday; 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday. Free. Enjoy amusements rides along Main Street, food vendors, live performances, artisans and more. facebook.com/personalityfestival.

TOWN OF CARY LAZY DAZE ARTS AND CRAFTS FESTIVAL

Photo courtesy of Durward Rogers

AUG. 25-26 – Downtown Cary. 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday; 12:30-5 p.m. Sunday. Free. The town’s signature arts and crafts event draws hundreds of artisans and attendees from across the Southeast. Enjoy artisan demonstrations, festival foods, a kids’ play area and live music. Kids can search for any of five Little Jerry mascots on the festival grounds and take a selfie with him. townofcary.org/lazydaze.

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AUGUST 2018 | carolinaparent.com


CALENDAR AUGUST 2018

DAILY 1 WEDNESDAY Forest Bugs. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.-noon. $6. Dig to find bugs that live in decaying logs and forest soil. Make a craft. Ages 3-5 with adult. Register online. Choose course #222916. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

2 THURSDAY Dragons of the Pond. Laurel Hills Community Center, 3808 Edwards Mill Rd., Raleigh. 6:30 p.m. $2. Explore the pond with nets and buckets to find dragonfly nymphs. All ages. Registration required online. Choose course #221514. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Insect Inspectors. Wilkerson Native Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.-noon. $6. Examine insects in their various habitats. Ages 6-8. Register online. Choose course #222227. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

3 FRIDAY Art in the Park: Project Friendship Day. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Celebrate National Friendship Day by creating art that expresses friendship and goodwill. Materials provided. All ages with adult. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Family Wildlife Series: Twilight Hike. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 8-9 p.m. $1/person. Listen for crickets, frogs and owls on a twilight hike. Ages 5 and older with family. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

4 SATURDAY Art in the Park: Project Friendship Day. See Aug. 3. Author Visits: Tracy Banghart. Quail Ridge Books, 4209-100 Lassiter Mill Rd., Raleigh. 2 p.m. FREE. Tracy Banghart discuss her new book, “Grace and Fury,” which examines the fates of two sisters

in a world where women have no rights. Ages 13 and older. quailridgebooks.com. Bella Rose Strides for Babies 5K and Fun Run. WakeMed Soccer Park, 201 Soccer Park Dr., Cary. 8-11 a.m. Free-$25/person. Take part in a run for First Candle, which raises money to prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Kids can enjoy a free fun run. Register online. runsignup.com/race/nc/cary/ bellarosestridesforbabies5K. Birding With Vernon. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pwky., Morrisville. All ages. 8:30-10 a.m. FREE. Join our enthusiast Vernon for an easy walk while looking and listening for feathered friends. Discover different types of birds and their habitats. Meet at the Waterwise Garden. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/lakecrabtree. Curiosity Club: Swift Creek Adventure. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 1-3 p.m. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Ages 5-8 embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Register online. Choose course #114764. classweb.townofcary.org. Farm Movie Night With Baby Goats. Spring Haven Farm, 5306 Homer Ruffin Rd., Chapel Hill. All ages. 8:30-11 p.m. $10/person. Take turns holding baby goats while watching a family-friendly movie. Concessions available. Purchase tickets online. eventbrite.com/e/farm-movie-nightwith-baby-goats-family-night-tickets47626050800?aff=efbeventtix. “Gourd”-ous Pollinators. Good Hope Farm, 1580 Morrisville Carpenter Rd., Cary. 9:30-10:30 a.m. FREE. Flutter into the world of “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” to learn about bees and butterflies. Decorate a set of pollinator wings. Ages 3-10 with adult. Register online. Choose course #115149. classweb.townofcary.org. Saturdays at the Old Mill. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler

Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 1-3 p.m. $5/adult, $3/ages 7-16. Free for ages 6 and younger. View the main power drive and milling machinery while exploring the mill’s history and aspects of its preservation. All ages. Registration encouraged online; tour tickets available inside the visitor center. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

5 SUNDAY Art in the Park: Project Friendship Day. See Aug. 3.

6 MONDAY Cake Decorating: Floral Cupcakes and Cream Cheese Mints. Middle Creek Community Center, 123 Middle Creek Park Ave., Cary. Ages 11-17. 6-8 p.m. $39/resident, $50/nonresident. Decorate cupcakes in floral colors and learn to make cream cheese mints. Register online. Choose course #114523. classweb.townofcary.org.

7 TUESDAY

Lil Cooks in the Kitchen: “Pizza for Pirates.” Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 4-5:30 p.m. $23/resident, $30/nonresident. Discover the joy of cooking with storybook characters. Ages 3-5 with adult. Register online. Choose course #114660. classweb. townofcary.org.

9 THURSDAY Cake Decorating: Floral Cupcakes. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. Ages 11-17. 10 a.m.noon. $39/resident, $50/nonresident. Learn the technique of piping buttercream flowers. Register online. Choose course #113590. classweb.townofcary.org. Spectacular Spiders. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.-noon. $6. Take part in handson outdoor discovery and the study of spiders in their habitat. Ages 6-8. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

Nasher Creates: Kids Studio. Nasher Museum of Art, Duke University, 2001 Campus Dr., Durham. 10:15 a.m.-noon. FREE. Ages 5-10 enjoy a creative workshop. Drop-in program. nasher.duke.edu. A Side of History: Lighting the Way. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. FREE. Celebrate National Lighthouse Day and hear the true heroic tale of Abbie Burgess, a young woman who was forced to run her family’s lighthouse alone in the winter of 1856. Make your own model lighthouse. Ages 5 and older with adult. Registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

10 FRIDAY

8 WEDNESDAY

11 SATURDAY

Butterflies. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.noon. $6. Enjoy a caterpillar story, play butterfly games and look for butterflies in the fields and gardens. Make caterpillar, butterfly and chrysalis crafts. Ages 3-5 with adult. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

Family Swamp Romp: Crayfish. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. Families enjoy stories, games, crafts and guided walks. Register online. Choose course # 219931. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Saturdays at the Old Mill Tours. See Aug. 4.

Park Tales: “Mouse & Lion”. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Enjoy a warm retelling of “Aesop’s Fables” by Rand Burkert and make a craft. All ages with adult. Registration encouraged online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. S’more Fun with Mom. Bond Park, 801 High House Rd., Cary. 7-8:30 pm. $23/ parent and child pair; $12 additional child. Mothers and sons enjoy a scavenger hunt, music, games and s’mores. Register online. Choose course #114444. classweb.townofcary.org.

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CALENDAR AUGUST 2018 Tales and Trails: Stories Around the Campfire. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 6:30-8 p.m. $18/resident, $24/nonresident. Discover what’s happening in nature as the sun sets and listen to stories around a campfire. All ages with adult. Register online. Choose course #114779. classweb. townofcary.org. Your College Quest Guide. Middle Creek Community Center, 123 Middle Creek Park Dr., Apex. 1-3 p.m. $5/resident, $7/nonresident. Learn how to navigate the college search and application process, prepare for college entrance exams, and more. Ages 12 and older with adult. Register online. Choose course #113592. classweb. townofcary.org.

12 SUNDAY Eco-Explorers: Backyard Birds. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Children make treasured memories while increasing their knowledge of plants and animals. Ages 7-10. Register online. Choose course #114770. classweb.townofcary.org. Playing Out With Elements: Bubble Wands. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 2-3:30 p.m. Kids learn about bubbles. Dress to get messy. Register online. Choose course #220635. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

13 MONDAY Natural Explorations: Forest Bathing. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 8:30-10 a.m. FREE. Explore Shinrinyoku, a Japanese healing technique involving the forest environment. Visit a natural area in the park and walk in a relaxed way to receive calming and restorative benefits. Ages 10 and older with adult. Registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Tiny Tots: Senses in Nature. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. Take part in center-based activities to explore the senses. Make a smelly painting and splash in a sink/float bucket. Ages 18 months3 years with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the Upper Pavilion. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

14 TUESDAY Nasher Creates: Kids Studio. See Aug. 7. Nature Families: Fascinating Frogs. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. $1/person. Learn about frogs through trivia games and activities. Discover the differences and similarities between frogs and toads. All ages with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the Upper Pavilion. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

15 WEDNESDAY Nature Watchers: Froggie Babies. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. $4/child. Read

School Year: September - May 9:15 am - 12:15 pm With an optional Early Birds 8:15-9:15 or Lunch Break 12:15-1:15 Ages 1 - 5 Dedicated to providing an educational setting for preschool children which will facilitate their development in the physical, social/emotional, cognitive, language, and Spiritual domains.

1519 E. Millbrook Rd. • Raleigh, NC 27609

www.millbrookbaptistpreschool.org • 919-876-4030

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“Froggie Babies” by Suzanne Farrior and make a froggy craft. Practice jumping skills and learn the differences between frogs and toads. Ages 3-5 with adult. Meet at the Upper Pavilion. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Preschool Swamp Romp: Snakes. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. $2. Ages 2-6 and adult enjoy a craft, engaging activity and guided walk along the greenway. Register online. Choose course #219941. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

16 THURSDAY Discovery Table: National Tell a Joke Day. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Celebrate National Tell a Joke Day by sharing jokes with the park community. Meet in the Exhibit Hall. Drop-in program. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Wee Wetland Walkers. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Enjoy an easy-paced walk along the greenway. Suggested for ages 3 and younger with adult. Register online. Choose course #219872. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

17 FRIDAY Movies by Moonlight: “A Wrinkle in Time.” Booth Amphitheatre, 8003 Regency Pkwy., Cary. All ages. 8:30 p.m. $5/ages 13 and older. Free for ages 12 and younger. See a PG-rated movie under the stars. Purchase tickets online. boothamphitheatre.com. Twilight Walk. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. All ages with adult. 7:30 -9 p.m. $3. Take a walk with a park naturalist to explore the woods and fields at this special time of day. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

18 SATURDAY Discover the Park: Walk in the Woods. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10-11 a.m. FREE. Take a walk in the woods and discover the animals and plants that call the park

home. Help collect data for the Natural Resource Inventory Database and other citizen science projects. All experience levels welcome. Ages 14 and older. Registration not required. Meet at the park office. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Discovery Table: Pond Life. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. All ages. 1-3 p.m. FREE. Stop by a discovery table located at the upper playground to learn fun about the animals that live in Crowder Pond. All ages. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Historic Trades: Apiarists and Bee Business. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Learn how bees pollinate flowers and help gardens grow. Discover how beehives work and the ways that beekeepers have historically housed and cared for their hives. All ages. Registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Kick Off to Kindergarten. Marbles Kids Museum, 201 E. Hargett St., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Kindergarten students entering the traditional school calendar practice a lunch line, hop on a school bus and more. Drop-in program. marbleskidsmuseum. org/kickofftokindergarten. Young Ecologists: Summer Wildlife Survey. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. Search for snakes, salamanders, turtles and more. Ages 10-13. Register online. Choose course #114771. classweb.townofcary.org.

19 SUNDAY Family Features: Terrific Trees. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 2-3 p.m. $1/person. Learn about the importance of trees through games and hands-on activities. Make paper and discover the goods that trees produce. All ages with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the Upper Pavilion. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Seasons on the Farm: Preserving Food in the 1800s. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler


CALENDAR AUGUST 2018 Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 1-5 p.m. FREE. Discover how farmers preserved their food in the days before refrigeration. Learn about drying, pickling and canning. All ages. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

22 WEDNESDAY

“Mazes and Brain Games.” North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. $5/nonmember. Free for members. Solve 3-D puzzles, explore mindbending illusions and see a rat try to conquer a maze at 1 p.m. Purchase tickets online. naturalsciences.org/ exhibits/featured-exhibitions/mazesbrain-games. “North Carolina and World War I.” North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. View more than 500 artifacts, period photography, historical film footage, a trench diorama, educational components and video re-enactments that feature North Carolina soldiers and citizens who provided extraordinary service to their country 100 years ago. ncmuseumofhistory.org/exhibits/ nc-world-war-one.

Field School: The Milk-Makers. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.noon. $7/child. Read a story about cows, compare cow breeds and learn about life on a dairy farm. Explore how milk is made into butter, cheese and other products. Taste a Howling Cow treat. Ages 7-14. Registration required online. wakegov. com/parks/yatesmill. Mason Jar Tavern Pancake Breakfast Fundraiser. The Mason Jar Tavern, 114 Grand Hill Place, Holly Springs. 8:30-10 a.m. $10/ person. Take part in a breakfast fundraiser for the future Carolina Children’s Museum. Purchase tickets online. eventbrite.com/e/ mason-jar-tavern-pancake-breakfastto-benefit-carolina-childrens-museumtickets-45634064716. Nature Stories: Crazy about Caterpillars. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 1-2 p.m. $4/child. Learn about the process that changes caterpillars into butterflies. Visit the butterfly garden while searching for butterflies and caterpillars. Ages 3-5 with parent. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

21 TUESDAY

23 THURSDAY

Nasher Creates: Kids Studio. See Aug. 7. Nature Fun-Days: Creek Critters. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $9/resident, $12/nonresident. Kids hike, make projects and engage in nature activities. Ages 5-8. Register online. Choose course #114756. classweb.townofcary.org. Nature Peekers: “The Very Quiet Cricket.” Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. Read the story by Eric Carle, and practice counting and observing similarities and differences. Take a short walk to look for crickets and other insects. Ages 18 months-3 years with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

Nature Class: Bees, Butterflies and Flowers, Oh My! Devils Ridge Golf Club, 5107 Linksland Dr., Holly Springs. 2-3:30 p.m. Free (donations encouraged). Discover the anatomy of flowers and learn about the special relationship between flowers and their pollinators. Donations support the creation of the Carolina Children’s Museum. Ages 2-4 with adult. Reserve tickets online. eventbrite.com/e/ bees-butterflies-and-flowers-oh-mytickets-45882407516.

20 MONDAY

24 FRIDAY Eco-Express: Foxes and Coyotes. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10: 30 a.m.noon. $9/resident, $12/nonresident. Take the fast track to nature in this hands-on study of ecology. Ages 8-12. Register

online. Choose course #114760. classweb.townofcary.org. Night Out in Nature. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 6-9 p.m. $15/resident, $19/ nonresident. Kids spend a night out in nature making memories and new friends in an old-fashioned, camp-style program. Ages 8-12. Registration required. Choose course #114762. classweb.townofcary.org. Stagville Under the Stars. Historic Stagville, 5828 Old Oxford Hwy., Durham. 8-10 p.m. FREE. Hear African tales about the night sky and view the stars through a telescope. stagville.org. Yates By Night: Oh, Those Summer Nights. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 7:308:30 p.m. $1/person. Celebrate the end of summer by joining a park naturalist for an evening hike around the millpond. Learn tips for observing wildlife and how to identify the sounds made by birds, amphibians and insects as the sun goes down. Ages 7 and older with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

25 SATURDAY Family Wildlife Series: Blue Jay Garden Sampler. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 2-3 p.m. $1/person. Take a peek at a mini pond, composting area, pollinator garden and children’s garden with park staff. Ages 5 and older with family. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay. Nature Nuts: Lizards. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $10/resident, $13/nonresident. Go nutty for nature as children satisfy some of their curiosity about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with adult. Register online. Choose course #114745. classweb.townofcary.org. Saturdays at the Old Mill Tours. See Aug. 4.

26 SUNDAY Junior Naturalist: Hummingbirds. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-3 p.m. $8/

resident, $10/nonresident. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with parent. Registration required. Choose course #114775. classweb.townofcary.org. Recreational Adventures: Water Balloon Games. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 3-4 p.m. FREE. Enjoy a playful water balloon fight. Take water balloons, a towel and change of clothing. All ages with adult. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

27 MONDAY Kids Get Crafty: Dashing Dragonflies. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Road, Apex. All ages. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Make a craft inspired by dragonflies. Materials provided. All ages with adult. Registration not required. Meet at the Cardinal Shelter. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

28 TUESDAY “Mazes and Brain Games.” See Aug. 20. “North Carolina and World War I.” See Aug. 20.

29 WEDNESDAY Nature Fun-Days: Lizards and Snakes. See Aug. 21. 10 a.m-noon. Choose course #114757.

30 THURSDAY “Mazes and Brain Games.” See Aug. 20. “North Carolina and World War I.” See Aug. 20.

31 FRIDAY Crowder by Night: Unhuggables. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 7:30-8:30 p.m. $1/person. Explore the world of snakes, spiders, bugs and beetles and their important roles in the habitat through hands-on activities, games and crafts. All ages with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the Heron Shelter. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Nature Nuts: Lizards. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. See Aug. 25. Choose course #114747.

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FACES & PLACES

Elsie (4), of Raleigh, enjoys a trip to Cameron Village Regional Library.

Submit high-resolution photos of your kids having fun in the Triangle at carolinaparent.com/facesandplaces.

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T I M E FLI E S W H E N YO U ’R E HAV I N G FU N

Carolina Parent is celebrating 30 years of providing Triangle parents with the information they need to raise happy and healthy children. Join us for the celebration! Our September issue will feature stories that celebrate 30 years in the Triangle. We’re also offering special advertising packages and running a month-long contest in September: 30 Days of Giveaways. If you have business and are interested in our advertising packages, or would like to participate in our contest by providing a prize to be given away, visit carolinaparent.com/cp/about-us/advertise or call 919-956-2427. Learn more at carolinaparent.com/ cp/carolina-parent-is-30-years-old

carolinaparent.com | AUGUST 2018

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Durham Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics DR. JOHN CHRISTENSEN Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics DR. ROB CHRISTENSEN Pediatric Dentistry For the Smile of a Lifetime!

Family owned dental practice since 1987. 121 W. Woodcroft Pkwy., Durham, NC • 919-489-1543 • durhampdo.com

Carolina Parent Raleigh Aug 2018  
Carolina Parent Raleigh Aug 2018