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November 2019 • Free

Serve Together 11 organizations your family can help this season

Playing Favorites Does your child think he is — or isn’t — the chosen one?

MVP Math, Part 1 Is WCPSS’s new curriculum friend or foe to students?


Holiday Events Across the Triangle | NOVEMBER 2019

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CIRQUE DE NOEL WED, NOV 27 | 3PM FRI, NOV 29 | 3PM & 7:30PM SAT, NOV 30 | 3PM

Stunning aerial feats, mind-boggling contortions, and jaw-dropping juggling acts accompany your favorite festive music. CONCERT SPONSOR


Wesley Schulz, conductor North Carolina Symphony Children’s Chorus All your festive musical favorites, plus the NCS Children’s Chorus, carolers, falling snow, a sing-along, and a few surprises to make your holiday bright! WEEKEND SPONSOR


Wesley Schulz, conductor Platypus Theatre Jump to your feet and dance down the aisles to the rhythms of Latin America in this interactive show! SERIES SPONSOR


Tickets on sale now! | 919.733.2750

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Discover your capable, confident Montessori child. Visit us online to RSVP for one of our upcoming events or to book a tour. (919) 825-1771 12600 Spruce Tree Way, Raleigh, NC 27614


Infant • Toddler • Preschool • Kindergarten Spanish Immersion programs available!

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At UNC Physicians Network we believe exceptional health care goes beyond medical excellence. It’s about going the extra mile and providing a personalized and unique patient experience — like quality visits with our doctors, access to counseling and health care advocates, and clustered offices for convenient, whole family visits. We call ourselves a network, but we’re really a dedicated family of doctors ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with you and your loved ones to offer outstanding care and support. Because that’s what families do.

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THE HOLIDAY SEASON SPARKLES IN THE TRIANGLE Explore our annual roundup of festive events across the region


11 WAYS FAMILIES CAN SERVE IN THE TRIANGLE Spend quality time together helping others in need



Part 1


20 PLAYING FAVORITES Why your child may think he is — or isn’t — the chosen one 22 AMIDST CONTROVERSY, WCPSS BETS STEM FUTURES ON MVP MATH Read Part 1 of our series on Wake County’s new curriculum






November Online




Editor’s Note

26 Growing Up

34 Our Picks

40 Faces and Places

27 Understanding Kids

35 Holiday Craft Fairs


28 Raising Readers

37 Daily



29 Father Figuring



30 Tech Talk

10 Health 11



College Transitions

32 Excursion | NOVEMBER 2019

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Hands image courtesy of Antonov Maxim/ Hug heart image courtesy of Pavlo Plakhotia/

DECEMBER 6 - 22 Based on the fairy tale by Charles Perrault • Adaptation and lyrics by Jim Eiler Music by Jim Eiler and Jeanne Bargy • Directed by Mike McGee Sponsors: Coastal Federal Credit Union • Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina Raleigh Arts Commission • City of Raleigh • N&O

Tickets 919.821.3111

For the Smile Of a Lifetime... Now Accepting New Patients! 919.489.1543

121 W. Woodcroft Pkwy Durham, NC 27713


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Kindness and Gratitude Hands image courtesy of Antonov Maxim/ Hug heart image courtesy of Pavlo Plakhotia/

COMMUNITY SERVICE Find out what kinds of help local nonprofits need as the holidays approach.



Kids will enjoy making and then writing in this mini-gratitude journal to show what they are thankful for.

Teach kids how to show kindness in the digital world.

HELP TEENS GIVE BACK Encourage teens to get involved in community service projects.

Connect with us online: carolinaparent carolinaparent

ENTER TO WIN BILTMORE TICKETS You could win four day passes to tour this grand estate in Asheville. carolinaparent carolinaparent | NOVEMBER 2019

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Gratitude Att itude


Katie Reeves ·


t’s easy to sit on the sidelines and watch someone else initiate an act of kindness or service. But only when you help someone in need, will you truly understand and empathize with that individual and his or her plight. Our November issue focuses on family and service, which is why we hope you’ll check out “11 Ways Families Can Serve in the Triangle” on page 18 by Mick Schulte. From preparing a Thanksgiving dinner to splitting firewood, there are many ways your family can help others. Holiday fun is happening across the Triangle! Explore Associate Editor Janice Lewine’s annual roundup of seasonal events and attractions in “The Holiday Season Sparkles in the Triangle” on page 12. You’ll discover how, when and where your family can celebrate the season — from parades and visits with Santa, to seasonal performances and candlelight tours. Family dynamics often create complexities that lead to one sibling feeling as though he or she is the least, or most, favored child. Parents don’t often realize the signals they give to encourage these feelings, or how their words or actions may be misconstrued by one or more of their children. “Playing Favorites” on page 20 by Caitlin Wheeler digs into this delicate subject, and offers expert tips for how parents can manage their child’s possible perception of favoritism. Wake County Public School System’s implementation of a new curriculum created by Mathematics Vision Project — known as MVP math — for Math 1, Math 2 and Math 3 across the district’s middle and high schools


Beth Shugg ·


Janice Lewine ·


Sean W. Byrne ·




has sparked debate among, parents, teachers and administrators. Learn more in “Amidst Controversy, WCPSS Bets STEM Futures on MVP Math” on page 22 — part one of my series on this new curriculum. Columns this month focus on when and how to use logical consequences in discipline (page 26), helping siblings when they compare themselves to each other (page 27), children’s books about community services (page 28), how one dad deals with change (page 29), using social media as a way to serve others (page 30), and the pros and cons of Greek life in college (page 31). Travel to Biltmore Estate on page 32, which opens “Downtown Abbey: The Exhibition” Nov. 8 and celebrates the holiday season in grand style through Jan. 4. Our calendar section begins on page 34 and features 51 holiday craft fairs you can shop this season, in addition to our top picks for November and other fun events happening this month throughout the region. We hope you enjoy and give back during this festive time of year. ’Tis the season for an attitude of gratitude and celebrating your gifts with the ones you love.

Billy Ryder ·


Candi Griffin • Sue Chen •






CONTACT US Phone: 919-956-2430 · Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 · Circulation 35,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards. Copyright 2019. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.

A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman William S. Morris III

President & CEO William S. Morris IV


Beth Shugg, Editor Editor’s photo courtesy of Morton Photography. Cover photo courtesy of Productions.



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NORTH RALEIGH PEDIATRIC GROUP invites children and accompanying adult(s) to

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FYI Photo courtesy of Patrick McCaulley/Wake County Government



Duke Endowment Awards $1 Million Grant to Help Wake County Families

New Fuquay-Varina Community Library Opens Wake County Public Libraries celebrated the grand opening of the new Fuquay-Varina Community Library with a ribbon-cutting ceremony Sept. 22. The 9,800-square-foot library, located at 271 Bramblehill Dr., offers a collection of 45,000 books, 16 public computers and WiFi service. The library will add an adult services librarian to the team and increase the number of school-age programs. Construction on the new library began in April 2018 and was a part of a $45 million bond approved by voters in 2007 to build,

expand, renovate or repair libraries. Project costs totaled approximately $4.5 million. “The Fuquay-Varina Community Library has always been an important part of this community,” says Ann Burlingame, deputy director of Wake County Public Libraries. “This brand-new building will serve library patrons for years to come, and we look forward to making new memories here with all of our visitors.” Visit to learn more.

Durham Tech Promise Scholarship Expands More students will be able to access the Durham Tech Promise Scholarship, which was recently expanded to cover select continuing education programs at Durham Technical Community College, including carpentry, cosmetology, culinary and massage therapy. The Durham Tech Promise Scholarship provides up to $1,000 a year for two years for eligible students, with funds being applied first toward the student’s tuition and fees. Previously, only students in credit programs (also called curriculum programs) were able to

earn the scholarship. These programs tend to take multiple semesters to complete and result in a degree or diploma, while a continuing education, or noncredit, course is often taken for professional development, takes less time to complete and produces a certification of completion. The expansion features 20 noncredit programs, which were selected to help fill the local workforce need in their respective fields. Learn more about the Durham Tech Promise program at

Public Library Statistics 15,446,036 58% Adults in the U.S. who have public library cards.

Total number of print book volumes in North Carolina public libraries as of June 2018.

SOURCE: American Library Association and the State Library of North Carolina



Americans go to public, school and academic libraries three times more often than they go to the movies.

The Duke Endowment recently gave Wake County a $1 million grant to help provide support and services to at-risk families who live in the county. Officially accepted at the Aug. 19 Board of Commissioners meeting, the grant allows the county to hire four nurses to work alongside existing social workers to visit homes, and to recommend and coordinate needed resources for children at-risk of entering foster care. The grant provides the $1 million funding over the course of three years, with each year focusing on specific aspects of child welfare. The nurses will review the medical and behavioral health records of children involved with the Human Services’ Child Welfare Division and work with families to help them understand the services their child needs. The nurses will also help reduce the waiting time to access services. Additionally, the nurses will attend home visits, plan meetings and appear in court to advise decision makers on hazards to infant/toddler safety, environmental impacts on chronic illnesses, behavioral health interventions, and more. “We have a profound responsibility to ensure that children in Wake County are safe and living in stable homes,” says Wake County Board of Commissioners Chair Jessica Holmes. “I commend our team for always looking for new approaches and funding to provide children with permanency, and to help ensure that our most vulnerable families are as strong as possible. We’re very grateful for this grant and the opportunity to strengthen families.” Based in Charlotte and established in 1924 by industrialist and philanthropist James B. Duke, The Duke Endowment is a private foundation that strengthens communities in North Carolina and South Carolina by nurturing children, promoting health, educating minds and enriching spirits. Since its founding, it has distributed more than $3.7 billion in grants. Learn more at


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Local Self-Help Credit Union Announces Scholarship Winners Two students from the Triangle have won scholarships for demonstrating a commitment to building a stronger community. Michael Arthur McMullen Jr. from Durham and Louis Ray Harrison II from Apex are among 29 students who received a $1,000 scholarship from Self-Help Credit Union, a financial organization that works nationwide to create and protect ownership and economic opportunities for all. The awards recognize proven leaders who have shown a commitment to community service and who strive to make a positive impact on the future. McMullen plans to attend Shaw University Divinity School and Harrison plans to attend UNC-Chapel Hill, majoring in biology. “I believe in the value of serving others and have worked to give back to my community as much as possible during my high school career,” Harrison says. “l have served as a peer tutor, bank volunteer and blood drive coordinator, but my most rewarding experience has been coaching special needs children in the Triangle area.”

EDUCATION Names UNC-CH Best College Town in NC With the fall semester in full swing, college students are back in classes studying and cheering on football teams during weekends. researched which college towns offer the best experiences for students in each state, and ranked UNC-Chapel Hill as North Carolina’s best. Cities with fewer than 250,000 residents that also claim colleges or universities were analyzed based on data from the U.S. Census Bureau and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The analysis included information such as overall population, student population, rental costs, college education rates, transportation

access, unemployment rates and the availability of bars. From there, the list of towns was narrowed by weighing the cost of living, unemployment rates for ages 20–24 and easy access to the city. UNC-Chapel Hill’s median gross rent of $947, unemployment rate of 8.1% for ages 20-24, percentage of the population using public transit (8.7%) and number of residents with a bachelor’s degree or higher (24.3%) all helped earned the town its No. 1 ranking in North Carolina and No. 24 overall ranking in America.

The Old Well at UNC-Chapel Hill. Photo courtesy of BryanPollard/

Five WCPSS Magnet Schools Earn National Certification

Scholarship winner from Apex, Louis Ray Harrison II. Photo courtesy of Self Help Credit Union

Five more Wake County Public School System magnet schools have attained National Certification, including three that earned the highest level of certification offered by Magnet Schools of America (MSA). Nationally certified magnet schools have undergone a rigorous one-year process of self-evaluation and improvement, strengthening their commitment to MSA’s five pillars: Diversity, Innovative Curriculum and Professional Development, Academic Excellence, High-Quality Instructional Systems, and Family and Community Partnerships. Fox Road International Baccalaureate Magnet Elementary School, Moore Square Gifted and Talented/AIG Basics Magnet Middle School and Broughton Global Studies/

Language Immersion Magnet High School received the highest level certification, being named Nationally Certified Demonstration Schools. These schools not only met but exceeded the criteria for excellence in MSA’s five pillars. Fox Road Magnet Elementary School, Moore Square Magnet Middle School and Broughton Magnet High School are the first WCPSS schools to receive Nationally Certified Demonstration status. Two other WCPSS schools — Martin Gifted and Talented Magnet Middle School and Enloe Gifted and Talented/ International Baccalaureate Magnet High School — were named Nationally Certified schools. They join 13 other WCPSS schools that have been nationally certified. | NOVEMBER 2019

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27.5 Million Home page and logo images courtesy of

The number of people, which equates to 8.5% of the U.S. population, who lacked health insurance for all of 2018, up from 7.9% the year before. This marked the first increase since the Affordable Care Act took full effect in 2014. SOURCE: U.S. Census Bureau


50 Million The number of pumpkin pies eaten on Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. each year. SOURCE: Calorie Control Council

What Does Thanksgiving Mean to You?


The percentage of Americans for whom the meaning of Thanksgiving is to spend time with family.

67% 49% 26%

The percentage of Americans for whom the meaning is to be thankful. The percentage of Americans for whom the meaning is to have a good meal. The percentage of Americans for whom the meaning is to give back.



Gratitude and Your Health The Greater Good Science Center, affiliated with the University of California at Berkley, works to scientifically assess how gratitude and doing good for others impacts health and a sense of well-being. In recent years, the center started, with the help of a grant from the John Templeton Foundation. gives people the opportunity to express what they are thankful for — the actions of another person, a material possession or a concept such as freedom, for example — and to share their “Thnx!” through social media channels such as Facebook and Twitter. One finding was that during the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving in 2018, the greater the number of gratitude experiences reported by the 1,600 people who shared comments on during that time period on any given day, the more positively they rated that day on a 1-7 scale, correlating from terrible to terrific. Days with more gratitude featured more positive and fewer negative emotions. People

expressing thanks to other people (instead of to things) were 150% more likely to say “this made my whole day glorious,” when asked how strongly this gratitude had impacted their day. When people thought others had put great effort into benefitting them (as opposed to minimal effort), the positive impact on their day was significantly stronger. This group showed statistically significant increases in gratitude, happiness, satisfaction with life and higher resilience to stress, suggesting that two weeks of daily gratitude journaling on boosts a range of psychological qualities associated with wellbeing. Physically, this group reported fewer headaches and less congestion, stomach pain, and coughing or sore throats. According to this evaluation survey data, yields measurable physical and mental health benefits to participants. Learn more at article/item/a_thnx_a_day_keeps_the_ doctor_away. Katherine Kopp is a freelance writer in Chapel Hill.


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All photos courtesy of

The average number of calories consumed during a Thanksgiving meal. For suggestions on ways you can reduce your calorie consumption on Thanksgiving Day, go to calories-in-your-thanksgiving-dinner.



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Helen Banzet Wallace is a freelance writer, fashion blogger and mom. Her work has appeared in local and regional publications. | NOVEMBER 2019

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The Holiday Season Sparkles in the Triangle BY JANICE LEWINE


riangle towns offer plenty of festivities to get families into the holiday spirit, from Christmas parades to Santa sightings, and joyous Hanukkah and Kwaanza celebrations. The events below are listed alphabetically by town. Tickets for many events are on sale now. Be sure to check with event organizers before heading out, since plans can change based on weather or unexpected conditions. Events are free unless otherwise noted.

Image courtesy of A-Star/


Sleigh rides, caroling and a tree-lighting ceremony highlight CHRISTMAS ON SALEM STREET in downtown Apex Dec. 6, 5-9 p.m. The following day, families can enjoy a pancake breakfast at the Salem Street firehouse and take pictures with Santa at the Halle Cultural Arts Center in the afternoon before the town’s Christmas parade, which begins at 5 p.m. downtown-apex-events. The Halle Cultural Arts Center presents two holiday productions in December. Infinity Ballet performs “DANCES OF THE NUTCRACKER” Dec. 6-8. Visit for show times and to purchase tickets.



Tasty treats, family activities, a visit from Santa and a tree-lighting ceremony usher in the holidays at WAVERLY PLACE in Cary Nov. 22, 6-8:30 p.m. whats-happening/events. See 20 light displays illuminated by thousands of LED lights at the CHINESE LANTERN FESTIVAL at Booth Amphitheatre in Cary Nov. 22-Jan. 12. The hours are 6-10 p.m. Tuesday-Sunday. The festival also features cultural performances and artisans. Purchase tickets, $15 for adults and $10 for ages 3-17, online at nc-chinese-lantern-festival.

Cary Players present “THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER” Dec. 6-9 at the Cary Arts Center. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets, $20 for adults and $18 for kids. More than 130 community groups provide handcrafted ornaments for the TOWN OF CARY’S COMMUNITY TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY Dec. 7 at 6 p.m. The event also showcases musicians, singers and actors from the community. The Cary Arts Center hosts a MENORAH LIGHTING Dec. 23, 5:30-6:30 p.m., as well as the town’s 25TH ANNUAL KWANZAA CELEBRATION, which features family activities and live performances, Dec. 27, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. The Cary Jaycees host the 40TH CARY CHRISTMAS PARADE Dec. 14, 2-4 p.m. along South Academy Street in downtown Cary. town-of-cary-christmas-parade. Cary Ballet Company presents “THE NUTCRACKER SUITE” Dec. 21, 11 a.m.noon, at the Cary Arts Center. Purchase tickets, $12, at Children can decorate a teacup and take photos with featured dancers at a BALLERINA TEA after the performance; tea tickets are an additional $12 per child at Enjoy the debut of “JAMIE LAVAL’S CELTIC CHRISTMAS: MUSIC AND STORIES FOR THE DEEP MIDWINTER” Dec. 30, 7:30 p.m., at the Cary Arts Center. Learn more at Purchase tickets, $35-$40, at CelticChristmasTriangle.

Town of Cary Gingerbread House Display, Downtown | Dec. 7 Photo courtesy of Town of Cary staff


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Chapel Hill

Carolina Inn’s annual TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS event series Dec. 1-Jan. 2 welcomes families to dine with Santa on select days, enjoy train rides around the inn, take part in gingerbread house-making and more. Carolina Ballet presents “THE NUTCRACKER” at Memorial Hall in Chapel Hill. Show times are Dec. 7 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m., and Dec. 8 at 2 p.m. Purchase tickets, $23.50 and up, at North Carolina Symphony’s “HOLIDAY POPS EXTRAVAGANZA” concert Dec. 10 at 7:30 p.m. at Memorial Hall in Chapel Hill features carolers, falling snow and a singalong. Purchase tickets, $44-$73, at


Several holiday shows in November and December grace the stage at Durham Performing Arts Center. Disney Junior’s “HOLIDAY PARTY ON TOUR” with special guest Santa Claus is Nov. 14 at 6 p.m. Grammy-award winning guitarist Brian Setzer and his orchestra rock out in retroholiday style Nov. 27 at 7:30 p.m. The tenor powerhouse Il Divo delivers their renditions of familiar Christmas melodies Nov. 29 at 8 p.m. “HIP HOP NUTCRACKER,” a contemporary re-imagination of Tchaikovsky’s timeless classic, is Nov. 30 at 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. Experience the magic of Christmas as dazzling performers and breathtaking cirque artists deliver “A MAGIC CIRQUE CHRISTMAS,” accompanied by favorite holiday music, Dec. 1 at 7:30 p.m. Irving Berlin’s timeless musical “WHITE CHRISTMAS” is Dec. 3-5 at 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 6 at 8 p.m.; and Dec. 7 at 2 p.m. Purchase tickets at DUKE CHORALE’S CHRISTMAS CONCERT, which features traditional carols for the audience to sing, as well as stories and special treats for children, is Dec. 3 at 7 p.m. at Duke Chapel. Admission is one nonperishable food item for needy families in Durham.

“Jamie Laval's Celtic Christmas: Music and Stories for Deep Midwinter” | Cary Arts Center | Cary | Dec. 30 Photo courtesy of

Step back in time to the 1800s as Duke Homestead in Durham hosts its annual CHRISTMAS BY CANDLELIGHT Dec. 6 and 13, 5:15-9:15 p.m. This popular event features costumed interpreters who lead visitors on candlelit tours of the decorated homestead. Storytelling and caroling round out the fun. Tickets are $6 for adults, $3 for ages 3-12 and free for ages 2 and younger. Purchase tickets online.dukehomestead. org/christmas-by-candlelight.php. Usher in the holiday season with the City of Durham. A Holiday Open House, featuring historic holiday decorations, festive music and holiday crafts, is Dec. 8, 1-5 p.m., at West Point on the Eno Park. SANTA PAWS, a holiday celebration for canine friends offering photos with Santa and a holiday pet market, is Dec. 13, 6-8:30 p.m., at the Durham Armory. DURHAM’S HOLIDAY PARADE with all the trimmings is Dec. 14 at 10 a.m. on Main Street in the downtown district. A HOLIDAY FUN FEST takes place later that afternoon, 1-4 p.m., on Blackwell Street featuring live entertainment, snow sledding, kids activities, vendors and a visit with Santa. The city’s KWANZAA CELEBRATION is Dec. 30, 1-4 p.m., at the Holton Career and Resource Center. Talented dance students from Barriskill Dance Theatre perform “THE

NUTCRACKER” Dec. 13 at 7 p.m.; Dec. 14 at 11 a.m. and 5 p.m.; and Dec. 15 at 1 p.m. in Reynolds Theater at Duke University. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets at Carolina Ballet presents “THE NUTCRACKER” Dec. 14 at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. and Dec. 15 at 2 p.m. at the Durham Performing Arts Center. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets at CHRISTMAS IN THE PIEDMONT DURING THE CIVIL WAR at Bennett Place State Historic Site in Durham celebrates the season Dec. 14, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., with living historians who demonstrate cooking and gift-wrapping in the 19th century. St. Nicholas visits with families during the event. Candlelit tours of the site take place from 6-9 p.m. Tickets are $3 for adults and $2 for ages 5-16 for the daytime event. Evening candlelight tours charge $3 for adults and $2 for ages 5-16. World-class Russian dancers, nesting dolls and giant puppets grace Carolina Theatre’s stage in Moscow Ballet’s “GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER” Dec. 18 at 7 p.m., and Dec. 19 at 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. Purchase tickets at | NOVEMBER 2019

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Durham's Holiday Parade Main Street, Downtown | Dec. 14 Photo courtesy of Durham Parks and Recreation


Lafayette Village hosts a LIGHTING OF THE TREE, Nov. 16, 3-6 p.m. A HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE concert is Dec. 7, 2-4 p.m., featuring camel rides, trackless train rides, a live Nativity and more. A MENORAH LIGHTING AND GELT DROP ON THE GREEN is Dec. 22, 3:45-5:30 p.m. See “THE POLAR EXPRESS” outdoors on a large screen Dec. 21, 7-10 p.m. 8450 Honeycutt Rd., Raleigh. The Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s all-new holiday spectacle, “CHRISTMAS EVE AND OTHER STORIES,” is Nov. 20 at 7:30 p.m. at PNC Arena. Purchase tickets at Carolina Youth Ballet delivers the pageantry of the “THE NUTCRACKER” alongside professional dancers from Carolina Ballet Nov. 22 at 6 p.m. and Nov. 23 at noon and 5 p.m. in Fletcher Theater at Duke Energy Center in Raleigh. Purchase tickets at Local celebrities host the ABC 11 RALEIGH CHRISTMAS PARADE Nov. 23, 9:40 a.m., in downtown Raleigh. The parade begins at the corner of Hillsborough and St. Mary’s streets and features holiday-themed floats, marching bands, and large helium balloons. The beloved CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING CELEBRATION, located in the


Commons of North Hills, features snow slopes, trackless train rides, kids crafts and activities, a bounce house and a vendor village Nov. 23, 3:30-7:30 p.m. As Santa Claus arrives at 6 p.m., a 41-foot tree will be lit amidst a joyous chorus of “Santa Clause Is Coming to Town.” North Carolina Symphony presents “CIRQUE DE NOEL” in Meymandi Concert Hall Nov. 27 at 3 p.m.; Nov. 29 at 3 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.; and Nov. 30 at 3 p.m. Holiday Pops concerts are Dec. 13 at 8 p.m. and Dec. 14 at 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. Purchase tickets at “RUDOLPH THE REDNOSED REINDEER: THE MUSICAL” lands at Fletcher Theater for performances Nov. 29Dec. 24. Purchase tickets, $26 and up, at Play with Santa’s elves, enjoy a family dinner, roast s’mores outdoors and sing along with the Snowflake Fairy Dec. 6, 6-8:30 p.m., at MARBLES’ EVENING WITH ELVES event. Purchase advance tickets, $27/member and $30/nonmember, at Week-oftickets, if available, are $32/member, $35/nonmember. “CINDERELLA,” Raleigh Little Theatre’s holiday sugarplum for the whole family, is Dec. 6-22. See the website for show times and to purchase tickets. Horse-drawn carriage rides, handmade crafts, hot apple cider, live music and more

highlight Historic Oak View County Park’s annual SLEIGH RIDES AND CIDER event Dec 7, 5-7:30 p.m. in Raleigh. Carolina Ballet presents “THE NUTCRACKER” Dec. 7-29 at Raleigh Memorial Auditorium. See the website for show times and purchase tickets at Theatre in the Park presents “A CHRISTMAS CAROL” Dec. 11-15 at Raleigh Memorial Auditorium and Dec. 18-22 at the Durham Performing Arts Center. See the website for show times and purchase tickets at Mordecai Historic Park invites families to tour Raleigh’s oldest home and birthplace of President Andrew Johnson at its annual HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE Dec. 14, 10 a.m.4 p.m., and Dec. 15, 1-4 p.m. Tour the home as it would have been decorated for Christmas during colonial days through the World War II era. Admission is free. The renowned Raleigh Boychoir presents “CAROLS OF CHRISTMAS” Dec. 20 at 7 p.m. at Edenton Street United Methodist Church. Purchase tickets, $10-$22, at RALEIGH RINGERS’ HOLIDAY CONCERTS at Meymandi Concert Hall Dec. 21-22 at 4 p.m. showcase unique interpretations of sacred, secular and popular music arranged just for handbells. Purchase tickets at Ring in 2020 at FIRST NIGHT RALEIGH Dec. 31, 2 p.m.-midnight, in downtown Raleigh. Enjoy a variety of family-friendly


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activities prior to the Acorn Drop at 7 p.m. and again at midnight. A First Night button, $11-$15, is required for entry.

Other Triangle Towns

BENSON’S CHRISTMAS ON MAIN event is Dec. 6, 6-9 p.m., and showcases live entertainment, a tree-lighting ceremony at 6:45 p.m. and a visit with Santa after the parade, which begins at 7 p.m. LIGHTS ON THE NEUSE IN CLAYTON is a 1-mile, tractor-pulled Christmas hayride through a magical extravaganza of holiday lights on select nights in November and December. The event also offers a sweet shop and visit with Santa. See the website for hours and to purchase tickets. Main Street in CLAYTON is transformed into a CHRISTMAS VILLAGE Dec. 5, 5:30-8 p.m., with live music, train rides, student vocal performances and visits with Santa from 5:30-7:30 p.m. The town’s tree-lighting ceremony begins at 7:45 p.m. at Town Square. Enjoy a holiday parade on Main Street Dec. 14 at 3 p.m. christmas-village-tree-lighting.aspx and events.aspx. HUBB’S FARM IN CLINTON presents “POLAR EXPRESS AND SANTA TOO!” Nov. 30, 5-10 p.m., featuring a ride on the Hubb’s Express Train, time with Santa, a showing of “The Polar Express” at 7 p.m.,

Chinese Lantern Festival Booth Amphitheatre | Cary | Nov. 22-Jan. 12 Photos courtesy of Matthew Lewine

“Cinderella” Raleigh Little Theatre | Dec. 6-22 Photo courtesy of Cindy McEnery

and more. Tickets are $20/person (free for ages 1 and younger) and must be purchased in advance online or by calling 910-564-6709. Tickets will not be sold at the gate. Hubb Farms’ annual CHRISTMAS ON THE FARM event is Dec. 13-15 and Dec. 20-22, 6-9 p.m., and features Hubb’s Express train rides through an inflatable wonderland, hayrides, Christmas music, s’mores, visits with Santa, and a Nativity scene beneath the stars. Ticket prices are $5-$10 per person (free for ages 1 and younger). FOUR OAKS’ CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL ON MAIN STREET Dec. 7, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., includes a visit from Santa, children’s activities, vendors and the town’s annual Christmas parade at 11 a.m. Families in FUQUAYVARINA can enjoy sleigh rides and a visit with Santa Dec. 5, 6-8 p.m., during the town’s ANNUAL TREELIGHTING CEREMONY. The annual Fuquay-Varina CHRISTMAS PARADE is Dec. 8 at 3 p.m. on Main Street. and GARNER’S LIGHT UP MAIN event Dec. 6, 6-8 p.m., showcases a treelighting ceremony and a visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus. Face painting, a local talent showcase and an Elves on Main Scavenger Hunt for kids round out the

fun. The GARNER CHRISTMAS PARADE on Main Street is Dec. 7 at 2 p.m., when dance troupes, marching bands, decorated floats and Santa usher in the holiday season. CABELA’S IN GARNER offers Santa’s Wonderland on select days in November and December. The event features crafts and a free photo with Santa. The HILLSBOROUGH HOLIDAY PARADE is Dec. 1, 4:15-6:30 p.m., downtown. Hayrides, crafts and live entertainment highlight HOLLY SPRINGS’ MAIN STREET CHRISTMAS Dec. 13, 6-8 p.m. Mrs. Claus reads stories at the cultural center and Santa visits children at town hall until 7:15 p.m. The night concludes with a tree-lighting ceremony at 8 p.m. at the cultural center. The HAPPY HOLLY DAYS PARADE takes place Dec. 14 at 11 a.m. on Main Street. During CHRISTMAS ON FIRST AVENUE IN KNIGHTDALE Dec. 7, 5-8 p.m., families can enjoy a holiday fair featuring vendors, food trucks, live music and a tree-lighting at 6 p.m. KNIGHTDALE’S CHRISTMAS PARADE begins at 6:30 p.m. departments/parks-recreation-andcultural-programs/festivals-and-events/ christmas-1st-avenue. | NOVEMBER 2019

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Kris Kringle visits with kids at MEBANE’S HOMETOWN HOLIDAY CELEBRATION Nov. 23, 4-9 p.m. The event also features carolers, a tree-lighting ceremony, marshmallow roasts, a snow slide and crafts. The MEBANE CHRISTMAS PARADE takes place Dec. 6 at 7 p.m. MORRISVILLE’S LIGHTING OF THE TREE on Dec. 6, 7-8 p.m., at Indian Creek Greenway begins with a tree-lighting ceremony at 7 p.m., followed by musical entertainment, trackless train rides, crafts and visits with Santa. Storytime with Santa, live music and magical winter lights illuminate PARK WEST VILLAGE’S WINTER WONDERLAND IN MORRISVILLE Nov. 22-24, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Help Santa find Rudolph and his other lost reindeer during SANTA’S REINDEER ROUNDUP EXPRESS, hosted by NEW HOPE VALLEY RAILWAY IN NEW HILL. Hop aboard an open train car with all the trimmings and take pictures with him during the hour-long ride. Frosty the Snowman greets families in the rail yard. Trains run Dec. 7, 8, 14, 15 and 21, departing at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1 p.m., 2:30 p.m. and 4 p.m. Purchase tickets, $11-$13, at The PITTSBORO CHRISTMAS PARADE is Dec. 8 at 3 p.m. and features


seasonal floats, tractors, vintage vehicles, Santa and more. SELMA ushers in the holidays on Raiford Street with performances by local choirs Dec. 3 at 5 p.m. See Miss Railroad Days Queen 2019 light the town’s tree at 6 p.m., just before the start of the SELMA CHRISTMAS PARADE at 7 p.m. SMITHFIELD’S CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING is Dec. 5 at 7 p.m. at the corner of Third and Market streets. Enjoy hot chocolate, live entertainment and an appearance from Santa. The annual SMITHFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE is Dec. 12 at 7 p.m. on Market Street. The LIGHTING OF WAKE FOREST on Dec. 6, 6-8:30 p.m., includes performances by local choirs, Santa’s arrival in a Wake Forest fire truck, and the lighting of the town’s 30-foot Christmas tree at town hall on South Brooks Street. The Downtown Merchants Association hosts a HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., when kids can enjoy free pictures with Santa, face painting and a gingerbread house display at The Cotton Company Event Gallery on South White Street. The town’s HOLIDAY PARADE, featuring high school marching bands, more than 100 floats and Santa, is Dec. 14 at 1 p.m. in downtown Wake Forest. Kids can enjoy brunch with Santa Dec. 8, 10:30 a.m.-noon, at Joyner Park Community

Janice Lewine is the associate editor at Carolina Parent.

Durham's Holiday Fun Fest Blackwell Street, Downtown | Dec. 14 Photo courtesy of Durham Parks and Recreation

Photos courtesy of Beth Shugg (top) and The Biltmore Company (bottom)

Moscow Ballet’s “Great Russian Nutcracker” Carolina Theatre | Durham | Dec. 18-19 Photo courtesy of Moscow Ballet

Center. Admission is $10 per child, free for ages 2 and younger. citizen-engagement/community-calendar/ christmas-wake-forest. HILL RIDGE FARMS IN YOUNGSVILLE comes alive during its FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS. Take a covered wagon hayride through holiday lights, and enjoy bonfires, a jumping pillow, train rides and music Nov. 28-Dec. 29, 5-9 p.m. Sunday-Thursday, and 5-10 p.m. Friday-Saturday. Admission is $10 for ages 2 and older Mon.-Wed.; $12 for ages 2 and older Thursday through Sunday The TOWN OF ZEBULON’S TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY is Nov. 22, 6-9 p.m. The ZEBULON CHRISTMAS PARADE is Dec. 1 at 2 p.m. Both events take place in the downtown district. Kids can pose with Santa Claus for free photos Dec. 6 from 5:30-7:30 p.m. in Zebulon Town Hall. services/parks-and-recreation/events.


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Chapel Hill Pediatrics


Welcome NEW and Established Patients • Care from birth through college

• Complimentary “meet and greet” sessions • Same-day appointments • Comprehensive sports & camp physicals Walk in Availability: Chapel Hill Office: 7:15 - 7:30 M-F; 9 am - 2 pm Sat-Sun

Durham Office: 7:15 - 7:50 am M-F

Appointment Hours Chapel Hill Office: 8 am - 7 pm M-F; 9 am - 2 pm Sat-Sun

Durham Office: 8 am - 5 pm M-F

Photos courtesy of Beth Shugg (top) and The Biltmore Company (bottom)

Enter to Win 4 Daytime Passes to Biltmore Estate Surround yourself in splendor at Biltmore Estate as you explore the grounds and mansion, and take a trip back in time when you view “Downton Abbey: The Exhibition,” on display Nov. 8, 2019 - April 7, 2020. Visit before Jan. 4 to see Biltmore stunningly decked out for the holidays. Enter to win four daytime passes to Biltmore Estate by going to /cp/contests and clicking on the “Biltmore” post. Type this code in the online form you’ll be required to fill out: CPDowntonAbbey2019. We’ll announce a winner Nov. 25, 2019. Good luck!


Check our website for holiday hours. 2 locations Chapel Hill: 205 Sage Road., Suite 100 Durham: 249 East NC Hwy 54, Suite 230 | NOVEMBER 2019

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2. WARMTH FOR WAKE Warmth for Wake is sponsored by Wake County Human Services and offers seasonal energy assistance to Wake County residents during the winter months. This happens through limited utility assistance for seniors, emergency space heaters and firewood outreach. One of Warmth for Wake’s most popular activities for volunteers ages 15 and older is splitting firewood. “It appeals to a lot of folks who like to do something physical and be outdoors,” says Denise Kissel, resource development specialist for Wake County Human Services. Learn more at pages/warmthforwake.aspx, or call 919-212-7083.

11 Ways Families Can Serve in the Triangle

3. SMALL HANDS BIG HEARTS UNITED Cary-based Small Hands Big Hearts United volunteer opportunities are led by children and teens and have no financial or logistical barriers, as well as no age restrictions or time constraints. “All year-round, we want to help our children and teens become an even kinder and philanthropic generation leading the world,” says Executive Director Anita Pease. Projects focus on food banks, homeless outreach, community gardening, compassion for animals, earth conservation, caroling for seniors, writing letters to soldiers and international service. Learn more at

olunteering as a family can be a great way to teach the values of thankfulness, responsibility and compassion to children of any age. It also offers families a way to spend quality time together doing something filled with purpose and meaning. The Triangle’s growing population creates a variety of needs for which volunteers are in high demand. Here are 11 organizations that could use your family’s help.

4. SECOND CHANCE PET ADOPTIONS Second Chance Pet Adoptions rescues stray cats and dogs in the Triangle and attempts to find a forever home for each animal they help. Volunteers ages 16 and older can work alone, but a parent or adult must accompany ages 12-15. Children younger than 12 can assist with cat socialization. “We truly appreciate when people come and play with the cats and remind them that people are good and loving,” says Rachel Cronmiller, the organization’s development and communications manager. Other volunteer opportunities include fostering a cat or dog until the animal is adopted. “This is a great way to introduce pet care, and the responsibilities involved, to young children,” Cronmiller says. Families can also help with a holiday gift-wrapping fundraiser at Crossroads Plaza in Cary. Learn more at or by calling 919-851-8404.

1. HABITAT FOR HUMANITY Every fall or spring Saturday, Habitat for Humanity of Durham offers youth build opportunities for children ages 8-15. The organization’s safety regulations do not permit youth under age 16 to be on sites with power tools, so Laine Staton, volunteer programs manager at Habitat for Humanity of Durham, finds creative ways to involve children while parents work on a build site nearby. “Laine used to be a middle school teacher, so she comes up with great projects for the kids,” says Liz Healy, a parent of two teenage girls. “Habitat really wants the children to feel like they’re doing something that will impact the home, and they give them smaller projects so kids can see the finished product.” Such projects may include building picnic tables, parts of sheds, birdhouses and tile walls, for example. To volunteer, visit or contact Laine Staton at

5. FOOD BANK OF CENTRAL & EASTERN NORTH CAROLINA Kids ages 5-11 can volunteer with their families during the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina Kid’s Days the second and fourth Saturdays each month, 2-4 p.m., to sort potatoes and other produce, label items, and help organize inventory. “We love volunteering at the food bank because it gives us a chance to work hard as a family, doing things that help our community immediately,” says Kelly Lynn Mulvey, who frequently volunteers with her husband and two children. On Tuesdays through Saturdays, ages 12 and older can help sort grocery store donations and fresh produce, as well as build senior and disaster relief meal boxes. “We help nearly 600,000 people who are food insecure in North Carolina, and we couldn’t do it without volunteers. They more than double our efforts,” says Mary Maxton Fowler, the organization’s volunteer coordinator.

Spend quality time together helping others in need BY MICK SCHULTE




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Learn more at, by emailing or by calling 919-865-3022. 6. WORLD RELIEF DURHAM When refugees arrive in our area, World Relief Durham connects them to the services and people who can help rebuild their lives. “Kids playing together is really a universal language and it helps refugees and immigrants overcome the fear of meeting someone new from a different culture,” says Adam Clark, director of World Relief Durham. Because of this emphasis on pairing families, all ages are welcome to volunteer. The organization offers long-term commitments, including tutoring, Friendship Partners and Good Neighbor Teams, through which volunteers show refugees emotional support and assist them with adjustments to living in the U.S. The “Welcome Team” greets new families at the airport and provides the first warm, culturally appropriate meal. This often works well for busy families who may not be able to make a long-term commitment. Visit to learn more. 7. THANKSGIVING DINNERS PROGRAM The Triangle Nonprofit & Volunteer Leadership Center partners with the Durham Department of Social Services to offer the Thanksgiving Dinners Program, which provides meals to 2,000 lowincome people in Durham, including disabled and elderly members of the community. “We are definitely in need of sponsors for meals this year because one of our major sponsors who supported 300 families is unable to help this year,” says Adrienne Clark, special programs director for Durham Department of Social Services. Volunteers can either donate financially, or sponsor a meal and deliver it directly to a family. Learn more at or by emailing Clark at 8. SHARE YOUR CHRISTMAS Much like the Thanksgiving Dinners Program, the Triangle Nonprofit & Volunteer Leadership Center partners with the Durham Department of Social Services to support more than 3,500 low-income families in need through the Share Your Christmas program. “Day to day, these families have difficulties just making ends meet, and during the holidays, this is especially hard,” Clark says. “Many have to make tough decisions between food, medication and housing.” Volunteers can provide gifts for families by serving as sponsors. They receive the family’s wish list, then shop for and wrap the gifts. They can choose to deliver the presents directly to the families or drop them off at Northgate Mall to be distributed by a social worker. The Triangle Nonprofit & Volunteer Leadership Center starts matching families toward the end of September through Nov. 1. Learn more or by emailing Clark at 9. WAKE ASSISTED LIVING MEMORY CARE The percentage of senior citizens living in the Raleigh-Cary area is growing at the second-fastest rate in the U.S., according to a recent Forbes report. Many of these seniors end up in nursing homes and long-term care facilities, like Wake Assisted Living Memory Care.

“Our residents rely on people to come in and talk with them to show them love and kindness because unfortunately many residents don’t have family to show them that kind of love,” says Lisa Lawson, activity director at Wake Assisted Living Memory Care. “After children leave, I always hear my residents telling stories of their own children, and remembering life when they were younger. So it’s especially important in this population of memory care.” Volunteers run games like “Bingo,” “Brain Trivia,” “Family Feud” and “Guess the Song,” and participate in other activities. Learn more at or by contacting Lawson at llawson. or 919-532-3495. 10. GIGI’S PLAYHOUSE Gigi’s Playhouse in Raleigh offers free programs for individuals with Down syndrome and their families. It’s 99% volunteer-run and offers service opportunities that include involvement in music and art classes, literacy and math tutoring, administrative duties, event planning and more. Michelle Pfeiffer, outreach director at Gigi’s Playhouse, says volunteers “assist the leader and help with whatever the class is being taught. For example, the class might be running through an obstacle course and the volunteers would do it with them.” Volunteer opportunities are available daily. “I love to volunteer at Gigi’s Playhouse, and seeing all of the kids and adults with Down syndrome having fun because of something I helped put together is really heart-warming,” says Ellery Huffman, a 12-year-old regular volunteer. Learn more at or by emailing 11. RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE The Ronald McDonald House of Durham and Wake offers a home away from home and community of support for seriously ill children and their families. “We try to provide families with everything that we can to make their stay as comfortable as possible,” says Clay Ragan, volunteer program manager of the Ronald McDonald House of Durham and Wake. “This includes a room, shuttles to and from the hospital, meals, activities and much more.” Volunteers of all ages are welcome, as long as volunteers younger than 18 are accompanied by an adult. “Popular projects for families include cooking and providing meals for the house, baking afternoon treats and hosting fun activity nights,” Ragan says. “We also have a Wishing Tree initiative, where we accept donations of toys, bikes, presents for parents and other things that our guests can select as Christmas gifts.” Visit to learn more. Read a longer version of this article at to learn about four additional organizations your family can help out. Mick Schulte is a photographer and Parenting Media Association award-winning writer in Durham, where she lives with her family of six. OPPOSITE PAGE: Kelly Lynn Mulvey, Adam Hartstone-Rose and their kids volunteer at the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina. Photo courtesy of the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina | NOVEMBER 2019

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Playing Favorites Why your child may think he is — or isn’t — the chosen one BY CAITLIN WHEELER


Photo courtesy of Gladskikh Tatiana/

o you get a pleasant glow every time you look at your middle child because she has your grandfather’s eyes, but not so much for your son who looks like your husband’s cousin? Do you spend hours making freshly blended organic vegetables for your first baby, but resort to grocery store purées for your next two? Do you take your sweet-tempered, funloving son to a Durham Bulls game every week, but haven’t gotten around to treating your sullen daughter to the NC Courage soccer game she wants to see? If you said yes to any of these questions, you must have a favorite child, right? This is a perennially popular topic — from science writer Jeffrey Kluger’s TED talk claiming that 95% of parents have a favorite (and the other 5% are lying), to articles with titles insisting that “You really do have a favorite child,” and scores of “favorite kid” jokes and memes online. Even if you’re 100% sure you do not have a favorite, this is a topic worth exploring because of the deep effect favoritism can have on both parents and children.

WHAT THE DATA SAYS Is Kluger right? According to Jennifer Lansford, a research professor in the Sanford School of Public Policy at Duke University, which is an affiliate of the Duke Center for Child and Family Policy, there are “no really good empirical studies on this issue.” She suggests that the “strong social preference not to have a favorite” may cause some parents to feel too embarrassed or guilty to admit they have a favorite, while other parents might have difficulty interpreting the question itself: Does having a “favorite” mean you actually “love” one child more than your other(s)? Or does it simply mean that you


treat your children differently for any number of reasons? In a group of 30 parents polled anonymously for this article, 13% said they had a favorite. Given the uncertainty of this question, perhaps the more interesting and relevant number is that 50% of parents polled believed their own parents had a favorite, and 40% of parents polled believed their children thought they had a favorite. What seems to matter here is perception; parents should consider whether their own actions are leading their children to perceive that they have a favorite.

WHAT KIDS SAY Kids sense favoritism, whether it’s there or not, and it can be tricky to know how well your child is reading you. “Parents underestimate how much kids pick up,” says Meg Hill, a counselor and owner of Raleigh Parent and Child, a family counseling center. Children can be observant and wrong about what they see, since they read situations and emotions through the sometimes distorted lens of youth. “It can be difficult for kids to understand that ‘fair’ doesn’t always mean ‘same,’” Hill says. She notes several issues that exacerbate kids’ misunderstanding: • Developmental stage: Younger children might miss the nuances of context and see only the piece that affects them. • Personality: A child might be naturally competitive and, thus, more likely to compare herself (and her treatment) to a sibling. • Self-image: A child might have a more negative view of himself and might project this view onto a parent. Adrienne Aaron, a counselor at New Leaf Counseling Group in Charlotte, says that throughout the 20 years she has been practicing, she has never had a parent tell her they had a favorite


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child. “But plenty of kids have told me their parent has a favorite,” she adds. She says she hears this most often from kids in families with three or more children, from families of both boys and girls, and typically from elementary-age kids who are just learning the concept of fairness. “It’s impossible to keep score,” she notes, “but some kids do.” If a child perceives that he or she is loved less or more than a sibling, that perception is likely based on a combination of the child’s creative assumption and savvy observation of a parent’s real emotions, which could have nothing to do with a parent’s actual preference. These situations could include: • Birth order: The younger child may observe the oldest getting to be the first to do a lot of fun stuff, while the older child may observe the baby being cuddled and coddled. • Differing times in the parent’s life: You are younger with your first born and may be more energetic and enthusiastic, whereas you might be in a better financial position with your youngest child and able to afford more comforts for him or her. • Life changes: Divorce or a family relocation can affect a 3-year-old more or less than a 10-year-old. The “real” part could be a child’s legitimate observations of the way you act with each child, Lansford says. It might be that you click better with the personality of one child, so you’re able to relax and have more fun with that child, or one child may have been an “easy baby,” which made you feel eternally grateful for those extra hours of sleep. Maybe one child is more temperamentally difficult, which leads to arguments and trouble. Lansford says a child’s perception will be tied to his or her own emotional wellness. For example, a child with low self-esteem is most likely to perceive imbalanced affection, she says. “Real or fabricated, a child’s perception matters,” Lansford says. “It is very hurtful for a kid to believe that a parent loves a sibling more.” Indeed, it can be damaging for both the favored and less-favored child if a parent displays any kind of preference. “It puts pressure on the golden child, who then becomes overly invested in perfection, while the child who feels less loved might believe there’s nothing they can do to get favor, and might give up on things they should be working on and improving,” Hill says. Long-term, the favored child may suffer from anxiety, while the lessfavored child, who might already have low self-esteem, may sink lower.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR KIDS You can avoid projecting favoritism by making use of certain parenting tools. 1. Clearly state household rules, and be consistent with the consequences. A child who understands the consequences of actions and sees them applied equally will be less likely to think he or she is being treated arbitrarily, compared with a sibling. 2. Explain differential treatment. In practice, differential treatment can be a good and necessary parenting strategy. “Every child is going to respond well to different types of

parenting,” says Mairin Augustine, who finished her postdoctoral work in developmental science at UNC-Chapel Hill in August and is now a visiting professor at Hamilton College in Clinton, New York. “What works well for one child might not make sense for another,” she says. “It’s important to be adaptable, depending on your child’s age and personality.” 3. Make each child feel loved. “Kids need to know they’re loved no matter what,” says Caroline Hexdall, a psychologist and owner of the Center for Mindful Development in Hillsborough. “Even when they are frustrating or inappropriate.” She suggests separating your child’s behavior from the feeling of love you have for him or her, and reassure your child that your love is unconditional. “You can even ask, perhaps in a lighthearted way, whether they thought the differential treatment meant they were less loved. You can then respond with something like: ‘No wonder you thought that, but that’s not true or what I meant.’”

WHAT TO SAY TO YOURSELF There is social pressure not to have a favorite child. In the anonymous poll for this article, 83% of respondents said they felt it was “unhealthy” to have a favorite child. Nonetheless, “it happens,” Hexdall says. “It’s only natural that we may be drawn to a child who is more compliant, or who has an easier temperament, or whose personality, appearance or preferences may resonate more closely with our own. This is perfectly understandable.” Natural and understandable, but does this make you a bad parent? Hexdall says that is the wrong question to ask. She recommends ignoring the “good parent vs. bad parent” issue. “Don’t criticize or judge yourself,” she says. “Parents feel guilty about a lot of things — this shouldn’t be part of that list.” Instead, “dig deeper and ask ‘Why?’ Is it really that you love this child more? Or is it that this child is easier to raise? Or that the other child is ‘difficult’?” she asks. Hexdall says by removing self-criticism and judgment, you can get to know yourself better and work on being a more mindful parent who is open to connecting with all of your children. “It’s hard to get through this grief, but challenge yourself and do the work,” she says. “Learn to love your children the way they are. Parent the way they need parenting. It is the easy way out just to say ‘the other child is my favorite.’” Making these connections and showing this love can be hard work. Hexdall says parents understandably have real feelings, even grief, when a child is difficult in ways he or she hadn’t anticipated. Augustine agrees that while difficult, it’s important to make your children feel equally loved. “Remind yourself that there is no limit on love,” she says. “There is room in your heart for all.” Caitlin Wheeler is a Durham-based and Parenting Media Association award-winning freelance writer. | NOVEMBER 2019

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Amidst Controversy, WCPSS Bets STEM Futures on MVP Math Part 1 of a series that asks: Is Wake County Public School System’s new discovery-style curriculum friend or foe to students?


he answer to two plus two will always equal four, but that doesn’t mean math must always be taught the same way. Wake County Public School System subscribes to this point of view. Following what it called a “comprehensive curriculum review process” during the 2016-17 school year, the state’s largest and — nation’s 15th largest — school system introduced changes to how Math 1, Math 2 and Math 3 would be taught by rolling out a new curriculum during the 2017-18 school year known as MVP, an acronym for what the curriculum’s creators refer to as the Mathematics Vision Project. Based on Common Core standards and created in 2011 by educators representing public middle and high schools in Utah, as well as Brigham Young University, MVP made its way into WCPSS Math 1 classrooms during the 2017-18 school year. It was implemented for Math 2 and about half of the district’s Math 3 classes during the 2018-19 school year, with the original goal of phasing MVP into remaining Math 3 classes during the 2019-20 school year. (That implementation goal has since changed.) Adoption of MVP in WCPSS occurred three years after neighboring Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools began using it for Math 1, Math 2 and Math 3, but acceptance of the curriculum has been nothing short of contentious for many students, parents and educators in both school districts. Carolina Parent conducted a thorough investigation of WCPSS’s adoption of MVP and, because this is an ongoing issue for Triangle families, we plan to publish a series of articles on this subject. Our first installment appears in its entirety at (search for “MVP math”). What follows is an abridged version of that installment.


IMPLEMENTATION OF MVP Back in 2008, the economic recession impacting the U.S. resulted in what WCPSS Assistant Superintendent for Academics Drew Cook describes as “significant cuts” across school systems throughout the country. Fast-forward to 2016. WCPSS recognized, “that we were long overdue for and needed additional resources,” Cook says. “So to verify that we actually conducted an external curriculum audit for K-12 across content areas, including mathematics.” The audit revealed what WCPSS already knew: “The vast majority of the curriculum materials and resources that our classroom teachers were using were not aligned to the North Carolina state standards,” Cook says. There was also wide variation across — even within — WCPSS schools regarding the resources students had access to. “It was not because teachers weren’t making an effort. Primarily, because of the lack of district- and state-provided resources for so many years, teachers were having to create, develop and implement their own curriculum,” he says. MVP markets its curriculum as “nontraditional” because, founders say, instead of offering lectures and requiring students to memorize math facts and practice math procedures, teachers act as facilitators while students do group work. Janet Sutorius, co-founder of MVP, describes the curriculum as “a cohesive and rigorous program that incorporates the eight guiding principles that are necessary for effective mathematics teaching and learning, as defined by the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics.” Each MVP curriculum includes an “intentional lesson design” that “gives students ownership of their learning, and connects

Image courtesy of Kumer Oksana/



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math to real-world contexts,” Sutorius says. “But it is the teachers’ responsibility to move students collectively toward, and hold them accountable for, the development of the significant mathematics in each lesson.” WCPSS defines MVP math as “an open-source high school mathematics curriculum written by and for teachers,” and states that it was “created to address the future needs of students competing in a global community,” according to a digital flyer on the district’s website. WCPSS offers the following description for how MVP lessons are taught: “In the MVP classroom, the teacher launches a deep mathematical task and then allows students time to work with a partner or small group on solving a task. The teacher circulates among students and encourages them to explore, question, consider, discuss their ideas and listen to the ideas of their classmates. Then the teacher brings the whole class back together to discuss different solution pathways and the mathematics involved.” Michelle Tucker, director of K-12 mathematics for WCPSS says the school system is seeing expected teaching practices and student interactions with the curriculum across the district. “It’s exciting to see this passion that exists now with both teachers and students as they engage with these mathematics and we see these practices come to life,” Tucker says. “All of that is evidence within that MVP curriculum.”

Image courtesy of Kumer Oksana/

THE COST OF MVP MVP publishes materials free of cost under a Creative Commons license. However, ancillary curriculum support and professional development products created by MVP are available for purchase. As of Sept. 20, 2019, WCPSS had spent approximately $1.7 million on purchases from MVP, according to Michael Yarbrough, senior administrator for communications at WCPSS. Expenses related to MVP purchases range from printing singleuse workbooks to correcting typographical errors and content gaps in the curriculum materials, to professional development costs for teachers to teach the way MVP recommends. EDUCATORS’ PERSPECTIVES OF MVP “MVP allows students to connect math concepts with realworld application problems,” says Athens Drive Magnet High School Math 1 and Math 3 teacher Scott Maxwell. He disputes critics’ claims that MVP is a “new” type of math, as well as the idea that students taking it have to “teach themselves.” “Many people don’t understand that MVP is a style of teaching, a new approach to learning the same math we’ve always been teaching,” he says. John Pritchett, also a Math 1 and Math 3 teacher at Athens Drive Magnet High School who is in his 31st year of teaching math in North Carolina, says he has been wanting to teach an “inquiry-based approach” for many years. “In my early teaching career, classroom practice often looked like demonstrating a technique, then asking students to replicate the process,” he says. Now, students are “doing” math: “exploring, trying an approach, making mistakes, analyzing their motives for taking steps and expressing curiosity about the bigger picture.”

Pritchett recognizes that implementation of MVP has required students to make a “significant adjustment” to their role in the classroom. “In traditional instruction, students could be successful being somewhat of a receptacle for the content,” he says. “In an inquiry-based instructional model, students actively construct their own knowledge with facilitation by the instructor. Students who have made this adjustment have been very successful in developing their mathematical reasoning, and their ability to analyze and apply.” Not all educators agree. Cliff Chafin, who has a doctorate in physics from North Carolina State University, began tutoring Triangle-area students in the late 1990s. He founded Chapel Hill Math Tutor in 2013 because, he says, throughout this region there is a “bumper crop of extraordinarily gifted kids that the schools can’t help at all.” He describes MVP’s materials as a “strange collection of photocopied handouts” and the curriculum as offering no “big picture” of what students are learning. But he doesn’t blame MVP entirely for the unpopularity of its curriculum. “It seems like the course is set up so you can take people who are not really math teachers — don’t really know the material — and they can do handouts and they don’t have to actually teach this stuff,” he says. In fact, Chafin has tutored several teachers who currently teach MVP math and have told him they don’t understand what they’ve been asked to teach. “I’ve had teachers come to me and pay me, and I’ll sometimes try to give them a discounted rate because they’re paying me to teach them what their materials are and why they’re like this,” he says. “They paid out of their own pockets to do a good job for their students. They should not have to be coughing up their own money to hire a private contractor.” Homework presents another set of challenges for some educators. Chafin says his students only bring home “completion graded” homework — through which they earn points for simply doing the homework — so he is unable to identify specific areas in which they’re struggling. “From sixth grade through twelfth grade, I can’t find any kid in the public schools with any graded homework,” he says. “Then the test comes around for the module and the teachers move on to some new material, which is often completely disconnected from the previous module, so the students don’t get a lot of reinforcement.” A teacher in the area who wishes to remain anonymous, but who taught math before and after MVP, says she was trained to offer homework that contained a portion devoted to “spiraled practice,” which requires students to review what they may have learned several units ago and is comprised of three parts: “Ready,” “Set” and “Go.” “Ready” typically consists of review practice problems. “The ‘Set’ and ‘Go’ are usually applying what was supposed to be learned/discovered in class that day,” she says. “In my experience the ‘Set’ and ‘Go’ consistently required knowledge that was not adequately ‘discovered’ in the lesson. This is detrimental | NOVEMBER 2019

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because students will struggle with the RSG [Ready/Set/Go] through no fault of their own.” Even strong math students struggled with this discovery-style approach to learning. “I have had high performing students come to me crying because they are so frustrated with trying to discover a concept with their peers for an hour that could be taught in half the time, and the other half practicing,” she says. “Wake has sacrificed essential procedural fluency for discovery.” Maxwell puts much of the onus on teachers. “Many of my peers would agree with me when I say that if a teacher is doing their job correctly, a good MVP lesson is exhausting,” he says. “If a teacher is not constantly roaming the room listening for new methods or key points, then they aren’t doing their job. That’s a teacher problem, not an MVP problem.” Tucker says WCPSS recognizes that some teachers are still adjusting to using MVP. “We’re making every effort to make sure that we’re listening to our teachers, we’re gathering their feedback and we’re responding in ways to support them, whether that’s through the creation of additional resources or providing them with additional professional learning opportunities, so that they become more flexible and comfortable with the MVP curriculum.” STUDENTS’ PERSPECTIVES Sydney and Kendall are sophomores enrolled in MVP Math 3 Honors at the same WCPSS high school. Sydney likes the curriculum because she enjoys solving problems in a collaborative setting. She says MVP works for her because she has an “experienced” teacher who is supportive when she asks for help. Kendall is in a different Math 3 Honors class at the same school, and says her teacher is also very experienced and knowledgeable. Kendall achieves more success with math via teacher-directed lessons, so MVP’s discovery-style group learning isn’t working for her. “I need the teacher to teach me how to solve the problem first, then I feel like I can try it on my own,” she says. Hajnalka Kieman’s son, an Apex High School sophomore, has maintained A’s throughout MVP math, but his grades aren’t the problem. “My son had a dream of going to MIT to become an engineer. He loved math, with its logical, straight-forward nature,” Kieman says. “Then came MVP with its discovery-based curriculum and emphasis on group discussion and group tests. This type of learning is agonizing for him as an introvert. After two years of MVP at Apex Middle and Apex High, he hates math and has completely changed his career goals. MVP beat the passion for math right out of him.” Tucker says while MVP is “definitely the primary curriculum,” WCPSS teachers can and should reach out to students who benefit from a more direct approach to math instruction. “There are times when students may be engaged in conversation with groups, but my role as a teacher, then, would be to make sure that those students are grasping the mathematical content that needs to be grasped, so that I can push pause in a classroom to


provide some direct instruction, so that I can supplement when the students’ needs are determining that that level of intervention is needed,” she says. PARENTS’ PERSPECTIVES Carrie Bley’s son is a freshman at Holly Springs High School who attended Holly Grove Middle School. She believes Holly Grove Middle School began tweaking its math curriculum during her son’s sixth grade year to mimic what would soon be taught within MVP. In 2017-18, during her son’s seventh grade year, the school piloted Open Up Resources — a curriculum nonprofit that later announced a partnership with MVP (in March 2019). He took Math 1 in eighth grade, the second year MVP was taught at Holly Grove Middle School, and averaged a 60% grade all year in the class. Bley says by their choice, her son is repeating Math 1 in ninth grade. “The teacher’s recommendation was to continue on to Math 2 — or take the NC Math 1 course as an elective,” she says. Bley says she gave WCPSS the benefit of the doubt, at first. “Like most parents, understanding the gravity of just how detrimental these math programs were to my child took time. Too much time,” she says. “I was raised by a teacher — I’m wired to believe the educator first, my child’s narrative second. I do not want other parents to make the same lapse in judgment that we did.” Not all parents are seeing these kinds of struggles with MVP. Maria Johnson, parent of a current Apex High School sophomore, says MVP can work if teachers are experienced, and if students plan ahead and put out the effort to collaborate in the group-work style MVP encourages. “From our perspective, strong students finished strong. Selfmotivated, prepared students also finished strong,” she says. “Students used to being able to coast through with minimal effort were not successful in MVP, more so because if they came to class not prepared with materials for the day, they struggled to keep up. And if they couldn’t keep up with the teacher-led learning, then they could not bring anything to the table in the group.” Blain Dillard, who has bachelor’s and master’s degrees in computer science from North Carolina State University and Georgia Tech, respectively, is a parent of a Green Hope High School student taking MVP math. He created the Wake MVP Parent Facebook page in January 2019 (which, as of November 2019 had almost 2,000 members), as well as a supplementary blog and website, and says a good curriculum should be able to work for a variety of learning styles. “I believe the style of teaching and learning in an MVP class may work well for some students and teachers, but not others,” he says, adding that, like Bley, he had his son retake an MVP math class — Math 2 — after scoring a low D in the class. “As noted by Ms. Johnson, strong students with seasoned teachers who supplement can do well with MVP and, I would argue, most any type of math curriculum. But based on the hundreds of anecdotes I’ve read and heard from parents, that is the exception — not the rule. Not all students are strong and not


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all teachers are seasoned. And to make matters worse, ostensibly due to the variety of implementation training delivered to teachers, and a varying degree of enforcement of MVP rigor by WCPSS central office, not all teachers felt they could supplement. So where does that leave the average student with the average teacher who believes — rightly or wrongly — that he or she can’t supplement, or must meet some sort of complex criteria before supplementing? I think that explains the wide variety of experiences students and parents are reporting.” REACTIONS TO MVP IMPLEMENTATION Several hundred parents in the Wake MVP Parent Facebook group have written about their children’s problems with MVP, citing decreased learning, failing grades, frustration with the lack of teaching and tutoring costs for parents who can afford it. (Chafin, for example, charges $85/hour.) Since March 2019, critics unhappy with MVP have responded by filing formal complaints about the curriculum, writing emails to school system leaders, organizing student walkouts, protesting outside WCPSS headquarters, making speeches at board meetings, researching performance data produced by other school districts that implemented MVP, and posting statements on social media opposing the program and the school district’s response to their formal complaints. These formal complaints, which alleged 10 policy violations and asked for removal of the controversial curriculum, were filed by 16 parents of students attending various WCPSS high schools and middle schools. In response to the formal complaints, the WCPSS Board of Education reviewed MVP between May 7 and June 7, 2019, and found there had been no violation of policy and that the school system would therefore not drop MVP, but would make changes to it based on parent feedback. Changes the board agreed to make included: • Bringing in a third party (MGT Consulting Group was later chosen) to independently evaluate the implementation of MVP in WCPSS (WCPSS was approved to spend up to $125,000 on this). • Creating a “robust” webpage on each school’s website to support students with homework. • Delaying district-wide implementation of MVP in Math 3 so it would be optional for schools during the 2019-20 school year. • Developing more curriculum resources, such as video support featuring examples and models of lessons. • Examining and, as needed, editing MVP materials for any alignment, typographical and grammatical errors. • Providing additional training for teachers to help them support students and implement MVP lessons. Green Hope High School parent Karen Carter appealed the WCPSS Board of Education’s curriculum review decision on July 8, 2019, citing the makeup of the review committee, which consisted of committee members who had previously backed the curriculum. During its meeting on Aug. 6, 2019, the board voted

to uphold the curriculum for the 2019-20 school year, and found that there were no violations of laws, rules or policies. MVP SUES DILLARD FOR DEFAMATION According to, a website created by friends and supporters of Dillard, and confirmed by Dillard and his attorney, Jeffrey Hunt, of the firm Parr Brown Gee & Loveless, Mathematics Vision Project filed a lawsuit against Dillard on July 25, 2019. This lawsuit accuses him of false and defamatory statements that may have damaged the company’s business with Guilford County. Filed in the Utah Fourth Judicial District Court as Case number 190401221, the lawsuit cites comments Dillard made in his Wake MVP Parent Facebook group, on his blog at, on his website at and at Wake County School Board meetings. Read a statement by Dillard and his attorney in the unabridged version of this story at or at parentrights. net. MVP: HERE TO STAY, FOR NOW Cook says WCPSS has no plans to discontinue use of MVP. For the 2019-20 school year, Cook says implementation of MVP for Math 3 will remain optional for WCPSS schools, and he expects schools that have already implemented Math 3 to continue using it, but if a school’s administration expresses a desire to withdraw from using it, WCPSS “would approach that on an individual school basis.” His long-range view is that MVP will eventually become the primary curriculum for Math 3, just as it has for Math 1 and Math 2. Like WCPSS, CHCCS will stick with MVP for now as well. CHCCS Executive Director of Community Relations Jeff Nash says he has “not heard any discussions that we are going to discontinue using MVP for our math curriculum.” A NOTE ABOUT TEST SCORES The North Carolina Department of Public Instruction reports the grade eight end-of-grade (EOG) score as a blend of eighthgrade EOG and eighth-grade Math 1 end-of-course (EOC) test takers. Additionally, NCDPI reports Math 1 EOC scores of all high school students who took Math 1, but excludes middle schoolers who took it, while WCPSS calculates a blended Math 1 number that includes the middle school Math 1 test takers and the 9-12th grade Math 1 test takers. Since these different reporting approaches result in two different sets of data for Math 1, Carolina Parent will take a more in-depth look at scores and report on this in part two of our series. If you have information you’d like to share about MVP for this series, please contact Carolina Parent Editor Beth Shugg at Beth Shugg is the editor of Carolina Parent and a mother of three, including two Apex High School graduates and a current Apex High School senior, none of whom were impacted by MVP math. | NOVEMBER 2019

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The Logic Project

When and how to use logical consequences in discipline BY MALIA JACOBSON

Little Lessons Your child may understand basic cause-andeffect consequences sooner than you think. “A child’s basic ability to learn cause and effect develops in the first few weeks of life,” says licensed family therapist and “Love & Logic” instructor Ashleigh Bryan, owner of Charlotte Therapy Associates. As your baby becomes mobile, setting loving limits helps her feel safe. For example, you may choose


ELEMENTARY YEARS Memorable Mistakes Natural consequences are simple and effective teaching tools. If a child doesn’t remember her rain jacket for school, she gets wet at recess. But there are times when natural consequences are less valuable, either because the natural consequence isn’t important to the child, or it negatively impacts his health or safety. For example, when a child repeatedly forgets his retainer on his lunch tray, the natural consequence is that he goes without his retainer, which

All the Feels Raising teenagers means lots of ups and downs — and likely some heated disagreements between parents and kids. Effective discipline during the teen years may require caregivers to pause and cool down if they’re clashing with their child. Delivering a knee-jerk consequence, like grounding, is likely less effective than a well-chosen logical consequence connected to the teen’s poor choice. The key to encouraging social, emotional and moral growth during the teenage years is using consequences that teach rather than punish. Logical consequences do this by ensuring that the teen experiences — and feels — the results of his or her actions. “If the older child or teenager does not earn money for a video game, the logical consequence is that they cannot buy the game, not that the parent steps in and buys it anyway,” Maguire says. “The link between the feeling of disappointment and the actions is what results in learning from the mistake.” Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health journalist and mom. Her latest book is “Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.”


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TEEN YEARS to use a gate to keep your baby out of your craft room after you’ve removed her from the space several times. Although logical consequences can be used during these early years, a strong parent-child attachment forms the foundation of effective discipline. “It is absolutely essential that a strong bond and healthy attachment is developed early in life,” Bryan says. “This basic building block of trust sets the stage for logical consequences to be effective as well as for the child to develop an inner voice that guides them to make healthy choices and decisions. Loving actions that set limits early in life set the stage for an easier toddlerhood and childhood.”

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onsequences are a cornerstone of discipline. Whether doled out by a caregiver or the result of a child’s actions, consequences help children learn about the world around them and reinforce important life lessons about responsibility, respect and relationships. Natural and logical consequences — or those that occur without any action from the parent and those a parent might implement to help guide a child’s learning, respectively — both encourage reflection, build skills, and foster social and emotional growth. When consequences aren’t carefully considered, however, they can fuel power struggles, resentment and even retaliation. Let’s sort out consequence confusion with age-by-age tips.

likely is unacceptable to his parents and orthodontist, but maybe not so much to him. When natural consequences aren’t enough to guide good decisions, it’s time to consider logical consequences. Like natural consequences, logical consequences should be clearly connected to the behavior, says certified attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder and parenting coach Caroline Maguire, author of “Why Will No One Play With Me? Coaching Your Child From Social Challenge to Success.” In this example, a parent might ask the child to help choose a way to earn part of the money to pay for a new retainer, or the child might have to miss an after-school activity to search the cafeteria for it. Taking away screen time as a punishment isn’t a logical consequence, because it isn’t connected to the child’s actions, making it less memorable and less effective as a teaching tool.


Helping Siblings When They Compare Themselves to Each Other BY JENNIFER REID

Image courtesy of JakkarinChuenaka/

Image courtesy of Cosmaa/


t is sometimes the case that children notice the skills and strengths of their siblings or peers, and make comparisons to one another. How can parents support their children when their abilities, strengths and talents vary? Our answer to this question is rooted in our general way of thinking about helping children. Healthy parent-child communication involves an openness of the parents to bear — to be able to listen to, tolerate and accept — a range of feelings from their children. When children feel that they can share a full range of feelings, even those that are uncomfortable, parents are better positioned to provide guidance that is meaningful and long-lasting. Regardless of the topic a child chooses to bring up, we encourage parents to listen to their child’s thoughts and worries, to acknowledge their child’s feelings and perspective as genuine and real, and to be honest and tactful in the guidance and words of comfort they offer.

LISTEN “I can’t read like Johnny. I’ll never be able to do that.” Take time to listen when your child talks about his or her feelings. In healthy relationships, active listening involves allowing the other party to fully express their ideas without fear of being told they are wrong. The adult instinct in a

conversation with a child, however, is often to make things better — quickly. (“Oh, come on, your reading is just fine!”) In some cases, simply listening without judgment or comment is enough. Give your child the space to share what is on his or her mind without the additional worry about negative consequences or disapproval.

ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS “Johnny does read a lot, and you are right that he is good at it. He is reading even more lately, which you’ve probably noticed.” There are usually truths in what a child shares from his or her perspective, even if a parent or other adult may see the situation differently or from a wider (and wiser) perspective. Acknowledge your child’s feelings as real rather than offering alternative feelings. Doing so may expand and deepen the conversation, perhaps leading to questions or comments that widen the child’s perspective. Offering alternative feelings often closes down communication. “You have your own things you’re good at,” for example, is a conversation stopper, conveying that you’re not interested in hearing how your child feels about Johnny’s reading ability, or that you don’t fully understand that this is an issue that is truly bothersome or troubling to your child.

BE HONEST AND TACTFUL “Johnny is a good reader. You are right. He is a little older and has had more practice, but I also know that reading has been really hard for you. There are things we can do to help you with your reading. Would you like that?” Try to have an honest and tactful acknowledgment of the differences between your children, or between your child and his or her peers. Downplaying the reality of the situation may leave a child feeling alone with his or her feelings. She may feel as if she has done something wrong by having the feeling. For many children, their inner world is one of the most challenging subjects to bring up independently, especially if they are ashamed or worried that they shouldn’t feel the way they do. By conveying that you are ready to listen and respect your child’s feelings, no matter what, you will be creating a space for healthy communication that will be rewarding for both you and your child. Jennifer Reid, who has a master’s degree in early childhood education from New York University, is director of the early school at Lucy Daniels Center. She began teaching in 2001 and has worked at the Lucy Daniels School since 2005. The Lucy Daniels Center is a nonprofit agency in Cary that promotes the emotional health and well-being of children and families. Visit to learn more. | NOVEMBER 2019

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Community Service sionate and

to be well-rounded, compas We all want to raise our kids pose-driven we also want them to be pur but s, eer car ir the in l sfu ces suc back to the w the importance of giving members of society who kno ce kids to odu intr to e son is the perfect tim community. The holiday sea Here are s. ort eff r tee opportunities and volun various community service t. tha t jus age pire and encour some children’s books to ins

“Olivia’s Birds: Saving the Gulf” (Sterling Children’s Books, 32 pages, Amazon hardcover $11.64), is 11year old author and environmental activist Olivia Bouler’s unique story about backyard birds and the rare and endangered species often found in the wild. Inspired by the Gulf Coast oil spill, Olivia wrote a letter to the Audubon Society offering her own bird paintings to raise money for recovery efforts. The idea took off and she sent out more than 500 paintings, which are captured in this picture book. She writes, “even though people are working hard to protect birds and other animals, we are still doing things that can hurt them. … The good news is that hard work and dedication can save birds.” She offers tips on protecting the environment such as: building a bird feeder, setting up a neighborhood recycling group, composting, and cutting down on paper consumption. This book was written for ages 3-9 and supports Audubon’s conservation mission, including Gulf Coast cleanup efforts. Book prices reflect what was listed on Amazon at press time and are subject to change.


In “The Kindness Quilt” (Cavendish Square Publishing, 48 pages, Amazon hardcover $23.98), author Nancy Elizabeth Wallace uses origami illustrations to tell the story of how one classroom teacher, Mrs. Bloom, teaches her students that random acts of kindness make the community a better place. The main character, little Minna, and her classmates have been instructed to work on a Kindness Project. Minna does so many acts of kindness throughout the week (reading to her younger brother, taking out the trash, sharing soup with her neighbors and more), she doesn’t know what to choose. In the end it does not really matter, because once she gets to school and sees all her classmates also sharing their acts of kindness, they decide to build a big kindness quilt and realize that the kindness “kept growing and growing.” This book, written for ages 6-8, teaches children that kindness can be contagious. “Hey, Wall: A Story of Art and Community” (Simon & Schuster, 40 pages, Amazon hardcover $16.69), is author Susan Verde’s newly released picture book about a boy who takes on a community art project in order to make his neighborhood more attractive. The boy recounts all of the fun events that happen right in front of the bleak, empty wall each day (kids share stories, chase down the ice cream truck and watch flowers grow through cracks in the sidewalk) — all the while noting that the wall just sits there, vacant and void of life. “Hey, Wall! Guess what? I’m ready to change all that,” the boy says. Eventually, he and his neighbors use the wall as their canvas to tell the story of their community and its residents. This book celebrates urban renewal and shows that ordinary people can work together to undertake transformative projects to benefit their communities. This book was written for ages 4-8. Elizabeth Lincicome is a mother, communications expert and freelance writer based in Raleigh.


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Image courtesy of SIMPILI/

In “Percy’s Neighborhood” (Charlesbridge, 32 pages, Amazon hardcover, $6.09), author Stuart J. Murphy, a visual learning specialist who also wrote the award-winning “MathStart” series, brings us a story about knowing one’s community and being willing to pitch in when needed. While Percy is helping his dad hang signs for the neighborhood fun run, he meets the community aides who make his See and Learn City a better place to live, work and play. Along they way, they’ll meet the doctor who keeps everyone healthy, the firefighters who help stop and prevent fires, the police officer who keeps everyone safe and the librarian who helps people learn. This book teaches kids and parents that the more they learn about their neighborhoods, the more they will understand how society functions. It was written for ages 2-5, with a focus on building cognitive skills.

Bookmark photo courtesy of and Sean W. Byrne/ Book cover images courtesy of their respective publishers.



! y z a r C e n o G s a h Dad

y daughter, Jessie, loves to try new things, and when she does, she wants me to try them with her. I’ll admit change is not one of my strengths. As I get older, change gets even harder. I probably would have titled this column, “Dad and Change Don’t Always Get Along,” but instead, I rolled with my co-author Jessie’s title suggestion. Let’s get her side of the story before my rebuttal, which I’ll definitely need for this one.

Image courtesy of SIMPILI/

Bookmark photo courtesy of and Sean W. Byrne/ Book cover images courtesy of their respective publishers.


JESSIE, AGE 12: Dad has gone crazy! Recently, we purchased a two-pack of electric toothbrushes. I read the directions, and then began using my new toothbrush. I convinced Daddy to try his. I showed him how you use it, and he began. After about three seconds, he turned the power level down to the lowest it could go. Then he began mumbling, “I hate this. I hate this.” With the toothbrush in his mouth though, it sounded more like, “I ate is. I ate is.” Momma also convinced him to try a Waterpik she had purchased. To put it simply, same reaction. It has been a little over a week since then, and he is still complaining that he has a toothache. He says he got it because his ears heard a sound like a drill, and it wasn’t time for his quarterly dentist visit. Anyway, I have a crazy dad. Now let’s hear his side of the story. Jessie’s narrative is accurate, except for the “crazy dad” part. My wife, Mattie, witnessed it, too. I can sum up my thoughts in 10 words: “Give me my manual toothbrush and pack of dental floss.” I can take care of my teeth the old-fashioned way. Aside from the noise, I didn’t like the spinning brush scraping my gum lines.


F IN G J.L . H E M P

Several weeks have passed since my bathroom drama, and I haven’t retried the electric toothbrush or Waterpik. Though I promised Jessie I would try it again one day, I didn’t say when. Having two crowned molars — one of them that is sensitive on occasion — my goal is to avoid root canals. Why stress out my tooth nerves (or my mental nerves) with a toothbrush that sounds like a drill, when I can care for my teeth quietly? My Waterpik experience didn’t go any better than Jessie’s description of the oscillating toothbrush. Like the electric toothbrush, it made noise. Furthermore, I don’t need a stream of water with the pressure of a fire hose spewing into my mouth. Water sprayed everywhere, including the bathroom mirror. A busy dad shouldn’t have to clean the bathroom and put on a dry shirt as part of his oral hygiene routine. Okay, maybe there’s a learning curve and, with experience, I’d do better directing the water flow. Maybe someday I could come to like the Waterpik. Crazy? I prefer to say, “Set in my ways.” With that said, I want to be a good role model for Jessie, so I must keep an open mind. When Jessie doesn’t like the taste of a new food, her mom and I ask her to give it a second try. I should do the same with things Jessie asks me to try. Until my tooth stops hurting, though, I’m content with my manual toothbrush and clean mint floss taking food particles away. I’ll give my electric toothbrush and Waterpik another chance … someday. Patrick Hempfing had a 20-year professional career in banking, accounting and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad and writer. He is the author of “MoMENts: A Dad Holds On,” available at Follow him at J.L. Hempfing, now 14, began writing with her dad in kindergarten. Her current hobbies include reading, writing, playing clarinet and alto saxophone, and dancing. | NOVEMBER 2019

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Social Media and Service Encouraging students to use their platform for good


In response to her mom’s question, Marley said she wanted to collect books with African American girls as lead characters, then distribute those books to schools. She set a goal of collecting 1,000 books and harnessed the power of social media to spread her message. She created a hashtag, #1000BlackGirlBooks, which quickly gained steam — and followers. In the three years since that dinner, Marley has collected and distributed more than 12,000 books with diverse characters to schools in the U.S. and abroad. Along the way, she has appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” spoken at the White House and authored a book of her own titled, “Marley Dias Gets It Dne and So Can You.” This is a powerful and perhaps extreme example, but it shows how anyone, anywhere, can harness the power of social media to do good. I’ve talked with girls who have created body positive Instagram accounts full of uplifting, inspirational quotes. I’ve heard from boys who started an online food drive, and others who have used social media to lift up classmates, encourage friends and address a problem facing their school or community. What I love about social media is that it

gives kids a voice, no matter how large or small their following may be. While some kids may feel pressured to get hundreds of shares and thousands of followers, I encourage them, instead, to focus less on the numbers and more on creating a positive ripple effect. Their voice matters, whether they’re speaking to five people, or 5,000. When it comes to social media, I encourage students to imagine they’re behind a microphone at a national press conference with an audience filling the room. Social media is the microphone, and their friends and followers are their audience. Every like, share or post is a broadcast. So how can they use that microphone to do good? As parents, let’s encourage them by starting with a simple question tonight at dinner: “If you could change one thing, what would it be?” Laura Tierney, a digital native who got her first phone at age 13, is founder and president of The Social Institute, which offers students positive ways to handle one of the biggest drivers of their social development: social media. She also recently became a mom. Learn more at


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Image courtesy of Christos Georghiou/


ocial media often gets a bad rap. We hear stories of cyberbullying, sexting and cell phone addiction. But, in my work as a social media coach to tens of thousands of students around the country, I also hear inspiring stories of students using social media to excel and achieve great things: supporting friends, raising awareness about issues that are important to them — even starting movements they believe in within their community and beyond. One fantastic example of this is the story of New Jersey teen Marley Dias. When Marley was in sixth grade, her mom asked her a thought-provoking question one night at dinner: “If you could change one thing, what would it be?” Marley told her mom about her latest mandatory reading assignment: another book about a white boy and his dog. This time it was “Where the Red Fern Grows,” but she was also referring to additional literary classics like “Shiloh” and “Old Yeller” — all fantastic books, all based on white boys and their dogs. Marley vented her frustration at the lack of diverse characters in the books she was being told to read.

Image courtesy of Nadia Snopek/


COLLEGE TRANSITIONS Much of this positive impact is attributed to the enhanced sense of belonging and connectedness that combats the loneliness and isolation that grip many first-year college students, too often causing them to drop out.



Image courtesy of Christos Georghiou/

Image courtesy of Nadia Snopek/

o some, fraternity and sorority life is an essential element of the higher education social scene, inseparable from the very concept of college itself. Images of Greek life are ubiquitous in popular culture and immortalized in film in every fashion imaginable — from the iconic frat hijinks in “Animal House,” to middleaged men reliving their glory days in “Old School,” and even the cartoon protagonists of “Monsters University” eagerly pledging Oozma Kappa. Let’s begin by addressing those whose lives won’t feel complete until they have a set of Greek letters emblazoned on their sweatshirts. WHICH COLLEGES HAVE THE MOST FRATERNITIES? Looking at the sheer volume of frats is one approach, but this method will not fully capture the milieu of a given campus. For example, Ohio State University has 45 frats but only 8% of the total male population joins one. The most meaningful indicator is the percentage of enrolled undergraduates who are Greek-affiliated. After all, if you want a school with a major league fraternity scene, a massive percentage of the student population is likely members. Schools where the majority of men on campus are affiliated with a frat are rare, but there are a handful of notable examples: Washington and Lee University: 75% DePauw University: 67% Wabash College: 64% Millsaps College: 60% Sewanee – The University of the South: 56%

Colleges that don’t cross the 50% threshold but still have a notably large Greek presence on campus include some of the Ivy League schools and other academically strong schools such as: Dartmouth University: 35% University of Pennsylvania: 30% College of William and Mary: 28% Cornell University: 26% Trinity College: 20% WHICH COLLEGES HAVE THE MOST SORORITIES? Southern schools dominate the list, as sorority life is deeply ingrained in Southern collegiate culture. Many on this list are also stellar academic institutions. For example: Washington and Lee University: 75% Furman University: 61% Wake Forest University: 59% Davidson College: 49% Vanderbilt University: 48% Tulane University: 46% REASONS TO CONSIDER JOINING A GREEK ORGANIZATION People may “go Greek” for any of number of personal and social reasons, but, as academic research demonstrates, one of the most positive effects are improved retention and graduation rates. One study found that freshmen who join sororities return for sophomore year 93% of the time versus 82% for nonmembers. Another study concluded that men in fraternities are 20% more likely to graduate than their non-Greek peers.

NEGATIVES ABOUT GREEK ORGANIZATIONS At fraternities, hazing and sexual assault have been dominating headlines in recent years. Unfortunately, there are reputable statistics showing that this is more than just noise or a case of “a few bad apples.” In fact, studies have found that fraternity members are three times more likely to commit an act of sexual assault than a nonmember. Alcohol-related hazing deaths, while not high in number (there are a few reported cases each year), have shone the spotlight on the culture of forced alcohol consumption as part of fraternity pledging and the many dangers that follow. Sororities, being intertwined with fraternities, experience the same issues as those of frats — excessive alcohol consumption is a danger as is increased risk of being the victim of a sexual assault. Additionally, studies have found that sorority membership can have negative consequences for one’s body image, and that serious eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia, are more prevalent within sororities than in the general population. Of course, most Greek members are not engaged in any conduct of this nature. At its best, fraternity and sorority life is a cherished part of one’s college experience and leads to better academic outcomes, loads of community service opportunities and lifelong friendships. Dave Bergman, Ed.D., is a co-founder of College Transitions, a team of college planning experts committed to guiding families through the college admissions process. He is also co-author of “The Enlightened College Applicant: A New Approach to the Search and Admissions Process.” Learn more at | NOVEMBER 2019

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‘Downton Abbey:

The Exhibition’ and Christmas at Biltmore

Damask image courtesy of Natykach Nataliia/




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Damask image courtesy of Natykach Nataliia/


eeing Biltmore gussied up for the holidays in Asheville has become an annual must-do event for many North Carolinians, and the added grandeur of “Downton Abbey: The Exhibition” on the estate grounds makes this year extra special. This nationally touring exhibit, produced by NBCUniversal, Imagine Exhibitions and Carnival, originally appeared in 2015 at Biltmore. The exhibit returns Nov. 8, 2019-April 7, 2020, and features exclusive multimedia elements. Timing of this exhibit is perfect for fans of the British drama series — which originally aired in September 2010 on PBS’s Masterpiece Theater — since the “Downtown Abbey” feature film hit theaters this past September. The New York Times has called “Downton Abbey: The Exhibition” a “cleverly immersive experience mounted with the same exacting care as the show itself.” View “Downton Abbey” set recreations, 50-plus costumes and additional early 20th century artifacts throughout two areas of Biltmore House. These exhibits create an immersive experience inside the grand dining room, kitchen and bustling servants’ quarters. The best part? The exhibit is included with a regular day pass and/or admission to the Candlelight Christmas Evenings event, which takes place Nov. 1, 2019-Jan. 4, 2020, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. (Tickets are free for ages 9 and younger.) Note: Prime dates and times sell out quickly, so book online seven or more days in advance at or by calling 800-411-3812 — and save $10. Triangle residents who make the drive to Biltmore can also enjoy the estate’s stunning holiday decor, including a 60-foot tall tree decorated in 55,000 lights on the front lawn, and 56 carefully curated Christmas trees inside the 175,000-square-foot behemoth mansion. Speaking of lights, the estate is illuminated with nearly 200,000 lights and luminaries indoors and out; and visitors can gaze upon nearly 30,000 ornaments, more than 500 wreaths and over 2,000 festive live plants — half of which are poinsettias — scattered throughout the estate. Add a plethora of kissing balls, garlands and ribbons hung throughout the property, and your whole family will leave with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. Other special events happening during the holiday season at Biltmore include s’mores bonfires Nov. 1, 2019-Jan. 3, 2020, visits with Santa and roving holiday carolers on select dates. Tickets for the Biltmore annual Gingerbread House tea, priced at $95/person, are also available. The teas takes place in the Vanderbilt Room on Dec. 14, 15, 20, 21 and 22, and include decorating a gingerbread house, nibbling on holiday desserts created by Biltmore pastry chefs, colorful candies, delicious tea sandwiches and, of course, an assortment of holiday teas. (Holiday cocktails can also be purchased a la carte.) Learn more about the exhibit and special events taking place this holiday season at Shawndra Russell is a travel and business writer and novelist based in Asheville. She also works with businesses to better their content.

OPPOSITE PAGE, TOP: The main atrium is festively adorned with lights and poinsetta plants. Photo courtesy of Beth Shugg OPPOSITE PAGE, BOTTOM: See “Downton Abbey: The Exhibition” at Biltmore Nov. 8, 2019-April 7, 2020. Photo courtesy of The Biltmore Company ABOVE, TOP TO BOTTOM: A 60-foot tall tree sparkles on Biltmore’s main lawn. Photo courtesy of Beth Shugg See Biltmore’s kitchen transformed into the one from the “Downton Abbey” TV series and movie. Photo courtesy of The Biltmore Company Biltmore’s conservatory showcases a wide variety of exotic plants. Photo courtesy of Sean W. Byrne | NOVEMBER 2019

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Home page image courtesy of


NC Comicon | Nov. 8-10 Don’t miss the ultimate celebration of comics and pop culture at NC Comicon in the Durham Convention Center. Meet comic book creators from the Triangle and across the globe, enjoy panel discussions featuring industry professionals, shop dozens of vendors and handcrafters, and dress up as a favorite character for a cosplay contest. Special guests include Kevin Eastman, co-creator of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” and

Photo courtesy of the North Carolina Museum of History

series. NC Comicon hours are 3-8 p.m. Friday, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday. Purchase tickets, $20-$35, at Admission is free for ages 9 and younger with a paying adult. The Durham Convention Center

Image courtesy of Christos Georghiou/

is located at 301 W. Morgan St., Durham.

American Indian Heritage Celebration Nov. 23 Members of all eight North Carolina-recognized tribes share their remarkable history and culture at the 24th Annual

Gobblequest | Nov. 16

American Indian Heritage Celebration at the North Carolina

Just in time for Thanksgiving, take part in a unique scavenger

Museum of History in Raleigh, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Dive into

hunt at E. Carroll Joyner Park in Wake Forest at 10 a.m. Search for

hands-on activities, such as shooting bows and arrows,

turkey cutouts hidden throughout the park’s trails and greenway.

imprinting designs onto pottery and searching for treasures

Each turkey “caught” can be redeemed for a special award (limit

in an archaeological dig. Observe exciting demonstrations of

one award per family). After the hunt, enjoy the PG-rated movie

weapon-making and dugout canoe-burning, enjoy traditional

“Free Birds,” and watch Jake and Reggie’s hilarious quest to get

tribe dances, and hear Native American legends passed down

turkeys like themselves off the Thanksgiving menu. Admission is

through generations. Admission is free. The North Carolina

$5/child. E. Carroll Joyner Park is located at 701 Harris Rd.,

Museum of History is located at 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh.

Wake Forest.



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Ornamental letter S courtesy of Ventura/ Photo courtesy of marilyn barbone/

Jimmy Palmiotti, co-writer of “Jonah Hex” and other well-known



HOLIDAY CRAFT FAIRS Visions of Sugarplums Holiday Art & Gift Show Nov. 7, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; Nov. 8, 9 a.m.8 p.m.; Nov. 9, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Quail Hollow Swim Club, 800 Orleans Place, Raleigh. Fall Craft Fair at the State Farmers Market Nov. 8-10, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. State Farmers Market, 1201 Agriculture St., Raleigh. raleigh/promos.htm.

tart your holiday shopping early by visiting these Triangle-area craft fairs. Search our daily calendar at for “holiday fairs” to find more crafting events in the Triangle. Craft fairs are FREE unless otherwise noted.

Ornamental letter S courtesy of Ventura/ Photo courtesy of marilyn barbone/

Photo courtesy of the North Carolina Museum of History

Made and Found at The Square Nov. 9, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Moore Square, Raleigh.

New Brook UMC Craft Bazaar Oct. 12, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. New Brook United Methodist Church, 265 Old Durham Rd., Roxboro. new-brook-umc-2019-craft-bazaar. Carolina Artisan Craft Market Nov. 1, 2-8 p.m.; Nov. 2, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Nov. 3, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. $8 advance tickets, $10 at the door. Free for ages 14 and younger. Raleigh Convention Center, 500 S. Salisbury St., Raleigh. Day of Shopping at Reedy Creek Magnet Middle School Nov. 2, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Reedy Creek Magnet Middle School, 930 Reedy Creek Rd., Cary. Emerson Waldorf Harvest Faire and Artisan Marketplace Nov. 2, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 6211 New Jericho Rd., Chapel Hill. Vendors from around the Triangle sell handmade gifts and shoppers also make crafts and gifts.

Fall Arts Fair Nov. 2, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sertoma Arts Center, 1400 W. Millbrook Rd., Raleigh. Merritt’s Chapel UMC Craft Fair Nov. 2, 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Merritt’s Chapel UMC, 1090 Farrington Point Rd., Chapel Hill. On the Mend Holiday Craft Sale Nov. 2, 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m.; Nov. 4, 10 a.m.noon. Garner Senior Center, 205 E. Garner Rd., Garner. components/calendar/event/953/124. Reindeer Day Nov. 2, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Admission is $3. Rolesville High School, 1099 E. Young St., Rolesville. St. Andrew the Apostle Holiday Craft Fair Nov. 2, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. St. Andrew’s Catholic Church, 3008 Old Raleigh Rd., Apex.

TOP Holiday Vendor Fair Nov. 2, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Temple of Pentecost, 2312 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. facebook. com/events/temple-of-pentecost/holidaycraft-vendor-fair/375500076501490. Triangle Grace Preschool Holiday Bazaar and Craft Fair Nov. 2, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Triangle Grace Church, Family Life Center, 5001 Tudor Place, Durham.

Mistletoe Market Holiday Fair Nov. 9, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Admission is $5/person. Receive $1 off admission with a canned food donation. Free for ages 12 and younger. Wakefield High School, 2200 Wakefield Pines Dr., Raleigh. St. Paul’s Arts & Crafts Festival Nov. 9, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 221 Union St., Cary. Cedar Creek Gallery Holiday Open House Nov. 9-10, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Cedar Creek Gallery, 1150 Fleming Rd., Creedmoor.

JPLC’s Shopping Extravaganza Nov. 3, 1-5 p.m. 6523 Johnson Pond Rd., Fuquay-Varina. Shop for holiday gifts from more than 30 crafters and vendors.

Handmade Market Nov. 10, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Marbles Kids Museum, 201 E. Hargett St., Raleigh.

Cary Academy Holiday Shoppe Nov. 7, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Nov. 8, 10 a.m.8 p.m.; Nov. 9, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Cary Academy, 1500 N. Harrison Ave., Cary. Shop products ranging from jewelry, pottery art and more from more than 100 local and state vendors.

Junior League of Raleigh: A Shopping Spree! Nov. 14, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.; Nov. 15, 9 a.m.6 p.m.; Nov. 16, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Nov. 17, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. $10/person per day in advance, $12/person per day at the door. | NOVEMBER 2019

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CALENDAR NOVEMBER 2019 Vintage Market Days Nov. 15-16, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Nov. 17, 10 a.m.4 p.m. $5-$15. Free for ages 12 and younger. Jim Graham Building, North Carolina State Fairgrounds, 985 Youth Center Dr., Raleigh. Handmade Holiday Market Nov. 16, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Cary Quilting Company, 935 N. Harrison Ave., Cary. Town of Cary Annual Holiday Craft Show Nov. 16, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. recreation-enjoyment/events/holiday-events/ annual-holiday-arts-crafts-fair. The Christmas Market Nov. 23, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Johnston Community College, 245 College Rd., Smithfield. johnston-community-college/the-christmasmarket-2019/2064760016967818. Global Holiday Festival and Market Nov. 23, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Moore Square, 226 E. Martin St., Raleigh. Holiday Crafts Fair at North Carolina State University Nov. 23, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Nov. 24, 10 a.m.2 p.m. Admission is $3/person, free entry for children 10 and under and for NCSU students with an ID. Thompson Hall, 210 Jensen Dr., Raleigh.

Christmas Carousel Holiday Gift Market Nov. 29-30, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Dec. 1, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $9/adult, $5 ages 6-12. Free for ages 5 and younger. Jim Graham Building, North Carolina State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. Patchwork Holiday Market at Durham Armory Nov. 30-Dec. 1, noon-5 p.m. Durham Armory, 220 Foster St., Durham. juniperbaymetals. com/events/2016/12/11/patchwork-holidaymarket-at-durham-armory. The Bazaar Craft and Art Market Dec. 1, noon-5 p.m. See website for location in Carrboro. Christmas Holiday Shoppe Craft Show Dec. 7, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. St. Thomas More Catholic Church, 940 Carmichael St., Chapel Hill. Elf Market Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. The ArtsCenter, 300-G East Main St., Carrboro. Holiday Artisans Market Dec. 7, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Wake Forest Renaissance Centre, 405 S. Brooks St., Wake Forest. id=200017959636150. Holiday Bazaar Dec. 7, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Cleveland High School, 1892 Polenta Rd., Clayton.

Winter Wonderland Craft Show Nov. 23, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Mebane Arts and Community Center, 633 Corregidor St., Mebane.

Holiday Craft Market Dec. 7, noon-6 p.m. Raleigh Elks Lodge, 5538 Lead Mine Rd., Raleigh. holiday-craft-market-tickets-74298359393.

Zebulon Holiday Market Nov. 23, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.; Zebulon Community Center, 301 S. Arendell Ave., Zebulon.

Holly Days Extravaganza Dec. 7, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Dec. 8, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Admission is $2/person. Sanderson High School, 5500 Dixon Dr., Raleigh. com/view/sandersonhollydays.


Scandinavian Christmas Fair Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $7. Free for ages 12 and younger. Holshouser Building, North Carolina State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. Wake Forest Holiday Artisans Market Dec. 7, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Renaissance Centre, 405 Brooks St., Wake Forest. Handmade Hanukkah Market Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Temple Beth Or, Satisky Hall, 5315 Creedmoor Rd., Raleigh. Carolina Inn Holiday Market Dec. 8, 15 and 22, noon-4 p.m. Carolina Inn, 211 Pittsboro St., Chapel Hill. RTP Mistletoe Market Dec. 12, 4-7 p.m. At this fair, 15% of the profits benefit Dress for Success, a nonprofit organization in the Triangle area that empowers women to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support, professional attire and development tools to help women thrive in work and life. The Frontier, 800 Park Offices Dr., Research Triangle Park. St. Nicholas European Marketplace Dec. 13, 5-9 p.m.; Dec. 14, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. North Carolina State Fairgrounds, Holshouser Building, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh.

CRAFT FESTIVALS FARTHER AFIELD Holiday Market by Gilmore Shows Nov. 1, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Nov. 2, 9 a.m.7 p.m.; Nov. 3, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $8 for adults and $1 for ages 6-12. Free for ages 5 and younger. Greensboro Coliseum Complex, 1921 W. Gate City Blvd., Greensboro.

Ages 5 and younger are free. The Crown Expo Center, 131 E. Mountain Dr., Fayetteville. Mistletoe Magic Holiday Gift Show Nov. 9, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Admission is $4/ person and free for ages 12 and younger. Crystal Coast Civic Center, 3505 Arendell St., Morehead City. mistletoe-magic-holiday-gift-show-2. Southern Christmas Show Nov. 14-24. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday: 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; all other days, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Tickets are $4-$13 in advance, $4-$15 at the door. Free for ages 5 and younger. Parking at the center is $8 cash only. The Park Expo and Conference Center, 800 Briar Creek Rd., Charlotte. ’Tis the Season Holiday Fair Nov. 22-23, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Nov. 24, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $5/person. Free for ages 12 and younger. WNC Ag Center, 761 New Boylston Hwy, Fletcher. Winterfest Artisan Market Dec. 6, 5-8 p.m.; Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Dec. 8, noon-5 p.m. Jacksonville Commons, 100 Recreation Lane, Jacksonville. Poplar Grove Plantation Arts, Crafts and Gifts Show Dec. 6 and 13, 5-8 p.m.; Dec. 7 and 14, 10 a.m-8 p.m.; Dec. 8, and 15, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $5/person. Poplar Grove Plantation, 10200 U.S. Hwy. 17 North, Wilmington. amerrylittlechristmas. Southport Winter Craft Festival Dec. 14, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Franklin Square Park, 105 E. West St., Southport.

Holly Day Fair Nov. 7, noon-8 p.m.; Nov. 8-9, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; Nov. 10, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is $10.


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DAILY 1 FRIDAY Clayton Harvest & Music Festival. Downtown Clayton. All ages. 5-11 p.m. FREE. Take the family for live entertainment, food vendors, rides, hands-on activities, local talent performances, a car show, concerts and more. See website for hours. A Nightmare on Academy Street. Cotton House Craft Brewers, 307 S. Academy St., Cary. 7 p.m.-midnight. FREE. Enjoy fire performances, costume contests, food and more. events/1084641785201628. Night Out in Nature. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 6-9 p.m. $15/resident, $19/ nonresident. Kids spend a night out in nature making memories and new friends in an old-fashioned, camp-style program. Ages 8-12. Register online. Old North State Storytelling Festival. The Cary Theater, 122 E. Chatham St., Cary. All ages. 7:00 pm. $15/concert; $50 for four concerts. Hear nationally acclaimed tellers Donald Davis, Michael Reno Harrell and Donna Washington bring the rich stories of the Old North State to life. Purchase tickets online. Specialized Recreation: Fall Paint Party. Century Center, 100 N. Greensboro St., Carrboro. 7-8:30 p.m. $3/person. Ages 15 and older with special needs enjoy a paint party and create a scene on canvas. Registration required online by Oct. 18.

2 SATURDAY Clayton Harvest & Music Festival. See Nov. 1. 10 a.m.-11 p.m. Great Pumpkin Smash at Three Bears Acres. Three Bears Acres, 711 Beaver Dam Rd., Creedmoor. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. $8/adult, $15/child. Say farewell to old pumpkins and jack o’ lanterns from Halloween. Enjoy carnival pumpkin games, tractor pumpkin smash, pumpkin sling shots,

pumpkin catapults and a pumpkin zipline. Old North State Storytelling Festival. See Nov. 1. 10 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. Raleigh Fairytale Ball. Cypress Manor at Cary, 1040 Buck Jones Rd., Cary. All ages. See website for sessions. $25/adult, $35/child. Meet princes, princesses and other fairytale friends. Enjoy musical performances, stories, song and dance. Purchase tickets online. Triangle Truck Day. Bright Horizons, 800 Weston Pkwy., Cary. 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Suggested entrance fee is a donation of $5/child. Free for adults. Kids explore vehicles and trucks, and enjoy games, activities, prizes, food trucks and live music. Proceeds benefit the Bright Horizons Foundation for Children, a nonprofit organization focused on brightening the lives of children and families in crisis. Wilson Whirligig Festival. Downtown Wilson. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. See dozens of whimsical, wind-driven whirligigs created by artist Vollis Simpson. More than 200 vendors, arts and crafts, live entertainment and food trucks round out the fun.

3 SUNDAY Clayton Harvest & Music Festival. See Nov. 1. Noon-6 p.m. Eco-Explorers: Owls. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Children make treasured memories while increasing their knowledge of plants and animals. Ages 7-10. Register online. Fall Carnival. The School for Creative Studies, 5001 Red Mill Rd., Durham. 2-5 p.m. Free$5. Enjoy games, prizes, food, a haunted house and a silent auction. scsptsa.

Raleigh Fairytale Ball. See Nov. 2.

4 MONDAY Parent/Child Clay Workshop: Holiday Ornaments. DAC Clay Studio, 1058 W. Club Blvd., Durham. 10-11:30 am., 4-5:30 p.m. $15/child. Using slabs and clay cutters, create beautiful sentimental ornaments as gifts for family and friends.

5 TUESDAY Nature Families: Tree Drummers. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Search for woodpeckers, play a game and make a feeder for woodpeckers. All ages with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the upper pavilion. Parent/Child Clay Workshop: Holiday Ornaments. See Nov. 4. 4-5:30 p.m.

6 WEDNESDAY Nature Watchers: Raccoons. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Learn about raccoons through hands-on discovery, stories, and a craft. Learn how to walk like a raccoon and search for the favorite foods of this nocturnal critter. Ages 3-5 with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the upper pavilion.

7 THURSDAY Nature Fun-Days: Raccoons and Coyotes. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.noon. $9/resident, $12/nonresident. Ages 5-8 hike, make projects and engage in nature activities. Register online. Choose course #127195. Parenting Through Power Struggles: This Too Shall Pass! Project Enlightenment, 501 S. Boylan Ave., Raleigh. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $22/person or $33/couple. Parents of children ages 3-6 learn how to recognize power struggle

triggers and respond in a calming, neutral and productive way. Register online.

8 FRIDAY Cosmic Asteroids Glow Dodgeball. Middle Creek Community Center, 125 Middle Creek Ave., Apex. 6-8 p.m. $11/child. Wear white clothing and play a glowing game of dodgeball. Enjoy pizza, drinks and more. Ages 11-14. Registration required online. Choose course #128388. Crowder By Night: Survivor Skills. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 5-6 p.m. FREE. Learn tips and tricks on how to live off the land. Build a temporary shelter and learn which plants are safe to eat. Play a fun orienteering game. All ages with adult. Registration required online. Meet at the Heron Shelter. Garden Buds: Fall Magic. 10:30 a.m.noon. $5/child member, $7.50/child nonmember. JC Raulston Arboretum, 4415 Beryl Rd., Raleigh. Ages 3-5 with adult discover nature through hands-on activities, garden walks, creative art projects and more. details.php?ID=2069. NC Comicon: Bull City. Durham Convention Center, 301 W. Morgan St., Durham. 3-8 p.m. $20 and up. Comic book pop culture goes into overdrive at this festival that features new exhibits, panel discussions, workshops, cosplay and more. Purchase tickets online.

9 SATURDAY Babypalooza Raleigh 2019. Marbles Kids Museum, Venture Hall, 201 E. Hargett St., Raleigh. 9-11 a.m. $35 VIP admission; 11 a.m.-3 p.m. free general admission. Take part in a baby expo offering product information, parent tips, resources and samples. Register online. BBQ, Blues & Brews. Downtown Fuquay-Varina. 1-5 p.m. FREE. Sample delicious BBQ and enjoy live music. | NOVEMBER 2019

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CALENDAR NOVEMBER 2019 All ages. Purchase tickets online. Curiosity Club: Bobcats Beavers. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.noon. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 5-8 embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Register online. Fall Family Nature Hike. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-3:30 p.m. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. Ages 1-5 and caregiver delight in the discoveries of nature. Register online. Fall Foliage Hike. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 2- 3:30 p.m. $2/person. Walk through the woods with a park naturalist to enjoy the beautiful colors of local deciduous trees. Ages 5 and older. Register online. Choose course #244787. From Plastic Bags to Purses. Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris St., Durham. 1-3:30 p.m. $30 plus $5 materials fee. Use fused and sewn recycled plastic bags to make bags, purses, quilts and decorative objects. Take clean recycled plastic bags. Choose from either the artists/crafters session or the parent/child creative experience.

NC Comicon: Bull City. See Nov. 8. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. NC Gourd Arts & Crafts Festival. North Carolina State Fairgrounds, Holshouser Building, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $2/adult. Free for ages 16 and younger. See gourd displays from around the world and enjoy vendors, crafting supplies and a gourd crafting table for kids. Piedmont Wildlife Center’s Annual Auction and Gala. Marbles Kids Museum, 201 E. Hargett St., Raleigh. 6:30-10 p.m. $35 early bird admission, $50 general admission. Visit with animal ambassadors and enjoy catered hors d’oeuvres, dancing, games, raffles, an auction and more. Register online. Sensory Friendly Creative Saturday. Sertoma Arts Center, 1400 W. Millbrook Rd., Raleigh. 1-3 p.m. FREE. Make paper squirrels, Thanksgiving hand turkeys and fall flower crowns. Accommodations offered for individuals with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders. Drop-in program. All ages. Register online. Wild about Wildlife. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 2-3 p.m. FREE. Discover the

animals that live at the park. All ages with adult. Registration required online.

10 SUNDAY Intermediate Orienteering. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Learn the basics of orienteering to navigate through the woods on a 1-mile orienteering course. Ages 8 and older. Registration required online. wakegov. com/parks/lakecrabtree. NC Gourd Arts & Crafts Festival. See Nov. 9. 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

11 MONDAY “Beyond Curie.” North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Tour an exhibit featuring full-color illustrations that highlight female scientists’ work in the fields of engineering, medicine and mathematics. featured-exhibitions/beyond-curie.

12 TUESDAY Candy Making. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 6-7:15 p.m. $18/resident, $23/nonresident. Ages 11-17 create old-fashioned taffy and hard candy using ingredients such as caramel,

marshmallow and chocolate. Register online. Choose course #127043. Homeschool/Track-Out: Weather Wonders. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 1-3 p.m. FREE. Learn about the weather and how meteorologists study it. Go on a hike to collect weather data and play “Weather Jeopardy.” Ages 6-13. Registration required online. Kids Get Crafty: Turkey Time. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Make turkey-themed crafts to celebrate the Thanksgiving season. Materials provided. All ages with adult. Registration not required. Meet at the Cardinal Shelter. “Owl Babies.” Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10:30-11 a.m. FREE. Read the story by Martin Waddell and learn about owls in an outdoor program. Ages 18 months3 years with adult. Registration required online.

13 WEDNESDAY Bird Buddies. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 12:45-2:15 p.m. $3/person. Ages 3-5 make paper tube binoculars to watch birds in forests and fields. Registration required online. Choose course #244784.


CALENDAR POLICY The Carolina Parent calendar lists local and regional activities for children and families. Visit to submit an event for consideration by the 6th of the month for the next month’s issue. Please call ahead to confirm dates and times. This calendar may include some events not intended for young children. Find more events at


Family Tech Program: Stop Motion Animation. Orange County Main Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 6:307:30 p.m. FREE. Learn the basics of Stop Motion Animation and make your own movie. Call 919-245-2532 to register. Ages 8 and older. Tots on Trails: Fall Fun. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 1-5 and caregiver delight in the discoveries of nature. Register online.


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CALENDAR NOVEMBER 2019 15 FRIDAY Deer Tracking. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 2-3:30 p.m. $3/ person. Ages 6-10 hike through the woods and fields to discover the hiding places of whitetail deer. Dress for the weather. Registration required online. Choose course #244786. Read and Feed’s A Novel Night Gala. Marbles Kids Museum, 201 E Hargett St., Raleigh. 7-10:30 p.m. $125/person. Enjoy cocktails and food to support Read and Feed’s efforts to give kids an appetite for reading. Tickets also include access to silent and live auctions, a wine wall and more. Purchase tickets online. anovelnight. Sweet Potato Day. State Farmers Market, 1201 Agriculture St., Raleigh. All ages. 11 am.-1 p.m. FREE. Delight in all things sweet potato at the State Farmers Market.

16 SATURDAY Bird Buddies. See Nov. 13. 10:30 a.m.noon. Choose course #244785. Discover the Park: Walk in the Woods. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Take a walk in the woods to discover the animals and plants that call the park home. Collect data for the Natural Resources Inventory Database and other citizen science projects. All ages and experience levels welcome. Registration not required. Meet at the park office. Getting Treed. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 2-3 p.m. FREE. Practice tree identification on a walk in the woods and design a “leaf critter” out of pressed leaves to take home. All ages with adult. Registration required online. Gobblequest. Joyner Park, 701 Harris Rd., Wake Forest. 10 a.m. $5/child. Search for turkey cutouts hidden on the park’s trails and greenway. Each turkey “caught” can be redeemed for a special award (limit one award per family). After the

turkey hunt, watch the movie “Free Birds” indoors. Tales and Trails: Stories Around the Campfire. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 4:30-6 p.m. $18/resident, $24/ nonresident. Discover what’s happening in nature as the sun sets and listen to stories around a campfire. All ages with adult. Register online. Choose course #127674. Tots on Trails: Fall Fun. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 1-5 and caregiver delight in the discoveries of nature. Register online.

17 SUNDAY Babies On The MOVE: Mini Movers 0-6 Months. Open Arts, 1222 Copeland Oaks Dr., Morrisville. 10-10:45 a.m. $24. Take part in a class that teaches individualized ways to foster motor development for a child. Learn about tummy time alternatives, best positions for a baby, how to help a child learn to sit, roll and more. Register online. Babies On The MOVE: Master Movers 7 Months-New Walkers. Open Arts, 1222 Copeland Oaks Dr., Morrisville. 11-11:45 a.m. $24. Take part in a class that teaches individualized ways to foster motor development for a child. Learn about carry positions, best positions for a baby, how to help a child learn to crawl, walk and more. Register online. Durham Kidney Walk. Durham Bulls Athletic Park, Blackwell St., Durham. 2:15 p.m. See website for fees. Join in the fight against kidney disease by taking part in a 3.5-mile walk at the Durham Bulls Athletic Park. All ages. Strollers are welcome; bicycles and in-line skates are not permitted. Register online. Family Features: Giving Thanks. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 2-3 p.m. FREE. Celebrate the natural world and learn where Thanksgiving foods come from. Make a craft. All ages

with adult. Meet at the upper pavilion. Race Across Durham. 5253 Roxboro Rd., Durham. 9:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. See website for fees. Take part in a 10-mile trail marathon. Register online. Take a Kid Hiking. Wilson Park Shelter, 101 Williams St., Carrboro. 11 a.m.12:30 p.m. FREE. Hike along Bolin Creek Greenway to the Adams Tract Red Trail to learn about the trees and wildlife in Carrboro. Young Ecologists: Sunset Wetland Survey. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 4-6 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Search for salamanders, owls and more. All equipment provided. Ages 10-13. Register online. Choose course #128019.

18 MONDAY Tiny Tots: Leaves in Nature. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10:3011 a.m. FREE. Ages 18 months-3 years with adult practice color and shape recognition through activity centers, songs and stories. Registration required online. Meet at the upper pavilion.

19 TUESDAY Nature Fun-Days: Hawks and Owls. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.noon. $9/resident, $12/nonresident. Kids hike, make projects and engage in nature activities. Ages 5-8. Register online. Choose course #127196. classweb.

20 WEDNESDAY Owl Be Seeing You. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 1-2 p.m. FREE. Discover owl habits and habitats through favorite owl stories. Ages 3-5. Registration required online. Poetry for Everybody with Dee Stribling: Celebrating the Holiday Season. Orange County Main Library, 137

W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 6:30-7:30 p.m. FREE. All ages enjoy poetry written in honor of the upcoming holidays. Contribute ideas, lines and words to create an original poem. Register by calling 919-245-2539.

21 THURSDAY Eco-Express: Bats and Owls. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.noon. $9/resident, $12/nonresident. Take the fast track to nature in this hands-on study of ecology. Ages 8-12. Register online. Choose course #127203. Fall Fun with 4-H. Orange County Main Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 4-5 p.m. FREE. Learn about 4-H and enjoy fall activities and crafts. Registration not required. Grades 3-5. Specialized Recreation: A Night of Giving and Service. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $2/resident, $3/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with special needs help support the Town of Cary’s annual toy drive by donating an unwrapped toy for a child in need and making holiday cards for the children and their families. Register online. Choose course #128214.

22 FRIDAY Colossal Collard Day. State Farmers Market, 1201 Agriculture St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. FREE. Celebrate collards.

23 SATURDAY Beginning Group Voice. Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris St., Durham. 1011:30 a.m. $30/person. Learn vocal techniques by singing in a group in a comfortable environment. Register online. Gratitude Yoga Workshop. Middle Creek Community Center, 125 Middle Creek Ave., Apex. 9:30 -11:30 a.m. $19/child. Ages 5 and older move through yoga poses and | NOVEMBER 2019

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CALENDAR NOVEMBER 2019 show gratitude by writing a thank-you note for someone special. Registration required online. Choose course #127447. Junior Naturalist: Deer and Squirrels. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 1-2 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with parent. Register online.

24 SUNDAY Snakes Alive Inc. Century Center, 100 N. Greensboro St., Carrboro. 2:30-3:30 p.m. $3/person. Ron Cromer from Snakes Alive presents an informative presentation about snakes and offers attendees a chance to hold and pet more than a dozen tamed snakes. “Wildlife in North Carolina” Exhibit. North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. Hours vary

depending on day. FREE. See winning photos in this annual competition that aims to encourage people to participate in nature photography and to foster greater understanding and appreciation of North Carolina’s wildlife and wild places. Exhibit runs through Dec. 31.



“Beyond Curie.” See Nov. 11. “Toy Boom: Toys From the 1950s & ‘60s.” See Nov. 25.

Holiday Gift Wrapping and “A Christmas Story.” Orange County Main Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 2-5 p.m. FREE. Get help and ideas from a gift wrapping expert from 2-3:30 p.m., and enjoy holiday refreshments and the PG-rated movie “A Christmas Story” from 3:30-5 p.m. Registration not required. Photos with Santa. Duke Homestead, 2828 Duke Homestead Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.noon. $10/photo. Pose with Santa in his 19th-century holiday outfit. Photos will be emailed as a print-ready digital file. Drop-in program; reservations not required.


25 MONDAY “Beyond Curie.” See Nov. 11. “Toy Boom: Toys From the 1950s & ’60s.” North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. All ages. 9-5 p.m. FREE. See a vintage collection of toys from the 1950s and ‘60s and examine how the toys most beloved by Baby Boomers reflected the energy, ambition and abundance of a prosperous era.

26 TUESDAY “Beyond Curie.” See Nov. 11. “Toy Boom: Toys From the 1950s & ‘60s.” See Nov. 25.

Gobbler’s Run. Downtown Wake Forest. 8 a.m. $25-$30/person. Free for ages 5 and younger. Take part in a 5K race on Thanksgiving morning to benefit the Wake Forest Boys & Girls Club. Register online.

29 FRIDAY “Beyond Curie.” See Nov. 11. “Toy Boom: Toys From the 1950s & ‘60s.” See Nov. 25.

FACES & PLACES Sadie (2) of Garner checks out the North Carolina State Fair’s pumpkin patch.

Submit high-resolution photos of your kids having fun in the Triangle and beyond at



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FOR MORE THAN 50 YEARS, the practice of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery Associates has been trusted to provide specialized care in the CHAPEL HILL, DURHAM, AND SANFORD communities.

DRS. FROST, SACCO, VANDERSEA, RUVO AND SERLO practice a full scope of oral and maxillofacial surgery with expertise ranging from corrective jaw surgery to wisdom tooth removal. Our practice also specializes in DENTAL IMPLANTS, BONE GRAFTING, FACIAL TRAUMA, AND ORAL PATHOLOGY.




501 Eastowne Dr.

2823 N. Duke St.

109 Dennis Dr.




STAND OUT IN A CROWD PICTURED: English Bernhardt starred as Annie in North Carolina Theatre’s 2010 production of “Annie.” Photo courtesy of Mitch Danforth Photography

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DECEMBER 7, 2019 Official Town of Cary

Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony Town Hall 6 p.m.

Santa’s Workshop

Victorian Christmas

Herbert C. Young Community Center 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. under 10 with adult

Letters to Santa Downtown Park Nov. 18-Dec. 9

at the Page-Walker

Page-Walker Arts & History Center 3-6 p.m.

Cary Players Present

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Cary Arts Center 3 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.

9th Annual Downtown

8th Annual

Downtown Cary All Day Dec. 7

Downtown Cary Dec. 7-Jan. 2

Gingerbread House Competition

Gifting Tree Project

(919) 469-4061 |

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Profile for Morris Media Network

Carolina Parent November 2019  

Carolina Parent November 2019