TALKSV_06_Innovation Hub_See the poem transcript of ‘You did this to yourself’

You Did This To Yourself

by Madeleine Corcoran It shouts at me in dreams It wasn’t my body my brain Somewhere else starting down It isn’t me It isn’t me “You want this” was drummed into me I used to struggle before but then I cut off In the end I thought I’ll just go dead.

I mustn’t tell mum. It’s your fault.

You wanted this.

Everybody would hate me.

I associated rape with Strangers

Night struggle I didn’t struggle But I didn’t want to.

She called it rape that night, I got flashbacks round in my head I kept passing out.

She got into the car.

She did not know when this started or how this happened.

The man in the back saying ‘Can I have sex?’

He just pushed my legs forward my jeans covering my face and nose I couldn’t breathe or anything.

I think I might have tried to say get off me.

I don’t think he could hear me.

The jeans were over my face.

I didn’t say no.

Didn’t dare to.

You know you don’t want to You are still doing it.

She was lying by her bead unable to recollect how she got there.

I could just feel this.

I don’t know where his head was.

I did nothing or said anything in response.

Like it wasn’t happening. to be sure about consent which is why he stroked her for so long the top of his fingers inside the waistband of herpyjama trousers never said or did anything to give the impression that she was in pain or not consenting

Gaps in her recollection probably the result of intoxication In absence includes quiet submission or surrender.

It was fatal to the case.

I-wouldn’t-have-been-able-toverbalise-what-had-happenedto-me-because-anyway-I-didn’tknow-what-had-happened-to-me.

Raped six times by her husband an outcry against her eight month prison sentence an outcry last Friday

O You tore your own clothing.

You cut your body with a pair of scissors.

You feigned illness and injury.

Many would say wicked.