6 Give the Slide the Slip: Fun Ways to Engage Kids’ Minds in the Summer
8 Can Teaching Kids Mindfulness Replace Discipline?
Farmers Markets Offer a Bounty of Learning Opportunities
Seven Tips for Semi-Disaster Free Travel
Family Volunteer Vacations: Doing Good While Having Fun
How to Help Your Kids Find Their Purpose and Fulfill Their Dreams
Mandy and Tyler
Talking to Your Child About AI
How to Tell if Your Kid Might Be the Victim of Cyberbullying
Five Common Stressors for Children and How We Can Help
A Parent’s Guide to Sleepovers
Happy Meals
Mandy and Tyler live in Saint Cloud, Minnesota, with their four children.
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Ways Art Benefits Children
By Jill Morgenstern
Ever wonder whether it’s worth it to pull out art supplies, the paint, glue, sequins, pompoms, and markers?
Kids can make a huge mess with art supplies, and sometimes it can seem easier to forgo big art projects. But when kids are diving deep into their art projects, they’re doing much more than just making memories. Art can have positive effects on children both physically and mentally. As a teacher and parent, I have seen these benefits first hand. To gain more insight, I interviewed Michelle Renfrow, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Colorful Creations Art and Therapy Services. The following are just a few of the ways art can have a positive impact:
1 It helps children express themselves.
Even the youngest children can express themselves through art. It gives them an approach that does not depend on their vocabulary level or even their ability to speak. Through art, children can use different media to explore self-expression in creative ways.
2 It encourages creative problem solving.
How much glue is too much? Will a glue stick or white glue work better for sticking on pieces of felt? Children doing art are constantly problem solving. Says Renfrow, “By allowing children to explore different materials, techniques, and ideas, they are able to look at problems from different perspectives, helping them to find solutions to difficult problems.”
3
It builds social skills and collaboration.
Children love collaborating on art projects and as they do, they experience the back and forth common to a joint project. Whether they ask each other’s advice or give it unsolicited, they experience what it’s like to work with others.
4 It can boost confidence.
This can of course depend on how the adults around them respond to children’s artwork. Renfrow says, “You should NEVER ask, ‘What is that?’ when looking at their art. The child assumes that you see their art the same way that they do, and when you cannot see it, they can be discouraged. Instead, try to identify concrete things like the colors you see. Once they tell you the story, you can reflect things like feelings and emotions. For example, the child tells you the picture is a girl in a closet. You can ask them how the girl is feeling and get more information.”
5 It builds both fine and gross motor skills.
Whether it’s gripping a button or paintbrush, children are engaging their muscles as they work on their artwork. Giving a child small objects to work with such as sequins or beads can help foster fine motor skills. Alternatively, painting their feet and letting them tromp across a large piece of butcher paper will exercise their gross motor skills.
6 It builds prewriting skills.
Children understand that a crayon or marker makes a shape on the paper long before they are able to produce letters. As they begin to make circles, curves, and lines, they begin the foundation for forming letters.
7 It helps them understand themselves.
“Artwork can help children better understand themselves and their feelings. By creating artwork, children can explore their emotions in a way that is not easily conveyed through words. I use art therapy techniques in my practice to help younger/less verbal children communicate, process, and grow,” says Renfrow.
8 It increases academic skills.
There is a saying by Benjamin Franklin: “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” What better way to involve a child than to dive into an art project?
My Sunday school kindergarten class does a group painting or collage of each Bible story that we study. Even at the end of the school year, they are still enthusiastic about reliving each of the stories they have illustrated.
9 It helps children develop spatial skills.
How far apart should the eyes be? Are my dog’s legs longer or shorter than her body? Children grapple with questions such as these as they produce their works of art and thus develop their spatial skills.
It’s fun!
The best part is, creating art is fun for most children! Keep it fun by providing different media for children to explore. You don’t have to bring out the messiest materials every day. A sheet of contact paper with some small squares of tissue can be a creative outlet on a day when you don’t have the stamina or time for a big cleanup.
These are just some of the reasons for encouraging children to be involved in art projects. The benefits are undeniable. Through art, children can learn a multitude of lessons. Though it can be a messy proposition, parents would do well to support and embrace their children’s artistic endeavors. Among the many benefits children acquire from employing these lifelong tools are unique opportunities to learn more about themselves as well as their place in the world around them.
Give the Slide the Slip:
FUN WAYS TO ENGAGE KIDS’ MINDS IN THE SUMMER
By Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
Do your kids seem a little less ready for school after each summer break? If the answer is yes, don’t worry. They’re far from alone. It’s a common experience known as the “summer learning slide.” Research shows that kids typically lose the equivalent of a month’s worth of learning over the summer break—and it gets worse the older they get!
So, what can parents do to give the slide the slip? Here are seven fun activities that have worked for our teenage son, and I bet they’ll help your kids, too.
READ A FICTION AND A NON-FICTION BOOK EVERY OTHER WEEK
Since our son learned to read, we’ve had him read one fiction and one non-fiction book every other week to keep his reading and comprehension skills at grade level. It’s summer after all, so instead of assigning him books like he’s used to from school, we let him choose what to read.
KEEP A VACATION JOURNAL
We take at least one big family vacation trip every summer, and since our son was very young we’ve had him keep a daily journal where he writes about what we did that day. It’s been a great way to keep his writing skills up-to-date and document his childhood.
EMAIL FAMILY AND FRIENDS
To strengthen our son’s writing skills, we also have him email family and friends, especially those people we don’t get to see that much during the year. Teenagers prefer texting, but we insist that he emails them because texts are usually full of broken sentences, odd grammar, and spelling mistakes.
PLAY MATH-BASED BOARD GAMES
In the evening, whether we’re on a family vacation trip or at home, we play math games like Monopoly or spelling games like Scrabble. The key is to focus on the fun part–the competition–rather than the learning. If you do that, the learning will happen automatically.
WATCH FEATURE AND DOCUMENTARY MOVIES
Aside from playing a board game or two, we also watch movies in the evening. With all the streaming services available, it’s not that hard to find a documentary or feature film, which also happens to be educational. Movies are some of the most fun ways to learn about other time periods, cultures, and current events.
DOWNLOAD EDUCATIONAL APPS
Although we try to make our son’s summer activities as social as possible, we also indulge his interest in anything technological, like letting him download all the educational apps he wants. He really likes quiz apps, which like the board game Trivial Pursuit, is great for developing kids’ general knowledge.
VISIT ART, HISTORY, AND NATURAL SCIENCE MUSEUMS
Museum visits are another great way to keep your kids up-to-date with the arts, history, and natural science. It doesn’t matter whether you live in a big or a small city. Even the smallest town often has a museum nearby. Going to the local town museum and learning about your own history can be surprisingly fun.
Mindfulness Can Teaching Kids Replace Discipline?
By Sandi Schwartz
Imagine this…Instead of sending your children to their room kicking and screaming, taking away their iPad for a week, or giving them a timeout in the corner, you ask them to spend a few minutes alone to meditate and work through the anger, frustration, stress, or other emotions causing them to act out. This new form of discipline is now a huge success at several schools, and those schools are seeing some major changes among students. Can we take these lessons learned from schools and add them to our parenting toolbox?
Mindfulness Versus Traditional Discipline in Schools
According to a recent article in Forbes, traditional punishment in schools, like detention and suspension, are ineffective ways to address bad behavior. This approach creates resentment and damages the relationship between the student and teacher. Students only feel more negativity when they have to miss recess or extracurricular activities they enjoy. Taking a groundbreaking approach, the Holistic Life Foundation (HLF) works with schools to initiate mindfulness programs as opposed to the traditional punishment methods. HLF is a non-profit in Baltimore committed to nurturing the wellness of children in underserved communities by helping them develop their inner lives through yoga, mindfulness, and self-care. HLF trains teachers and guides schools to develop mindfulness programs on their campuses. It also serves as a resource to programs all over the country by hosting workshops and other training programs.
Successful School Programs
Schools all over the country are now incorporating mindfulness into their curriculum, but what makes the schools partnering with HLF so unique is the way they’re using mindfulness to address negative behavior in the classroom. In particular, two
schools, working together with HLF, are seeing a huge shift in their students’ behavior. Robert W. Coleman Elementary School in Baltimore offers mindful meditation as an alternative to detention. Instead of punishing disruptive kids or sending them to the principal’s office, the school has a “Mindful Moment Room.” This is a comforting room filled with lamps, decorations, bean bags, and pillows where students can learn how to diffuse their stress and anger.
While in the room, kids who have misbehaved are encouraged to try deep breathing exercises and meditation to help calm themselves down and regain a sense of inner balance before going back to the classroom. They’re also encouraged to talk to a trained staff member about what happened and how it made them feel. The students and staff work together to create a plan to help them use mindfulness techniques to address similar situations in the future. Teachers can refer a student to the Mindful Moment Room to cool down, or students can request to spend time there.
Since the Mindful Moment Room was created at Coleman, students appear to be more relaxed and are able to control their emotions more effectively. At Patterson High School, also in Baltimore, the Mindful Moment Room is a special calm area available throughout the day. Students can request to spend time in the room, or teachers may send distressed or disruptive students there to work through their emotions.
Social workers, psychologists, and the nurse all refer students to the Mindful Moment Room for assistance with anxiety, stress, and other emotional issues.
When a student enters the Mindful Moment Room, they’re assigned a “Mindfulness Instructor” who first talks to the student about the situation and then guides him or her through a mindfulness practice, such as breathing exercises and yoga
poses. After 20 minutes in the Mindful Moment Room, students return to their class refreshed and ready to go on with their day. Since the room opened, the school has seen an increase in attendance and a drop in the number of suspensions. Teachers have also noticed that the school is quieter in general, with fewer fights and disagreements among the students.
How Mindfulness Helps
Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through purposefully paying attention to the present moment in a non-judgemental way, according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, the leading expert on mindfulness and creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
As we practice mindfulness, we begin to understand our mind-body connection better and learn not to be so reactive to thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. With mindfulness, we develop a quality of attention that can be present no matter what is happening around us. This helps us feel more peace, ease, and balance in our lives, and we develop more empathy, compassion, and love.
Mindfulness has gained so much attention in recent years because the research has shown the incredible impact it can have on our lives. Several studies demonstrate that meditation can help children reduce stress and anxiety, increase attention and focus, and improve academic performance. Scientists have actually witnessed individual’s brains thicken in areas in charge of decision-making, emotional flexibility, and empathy during meditative practices.
The best evidence for the positive change that mindfulness brings is to listen to the students in Baltimore talk about how
they, and their friends, have transformed from spending time in the Mindful Moment Room:
“I have learned how to calm myself down and focus better in class.”
“It has taught me how to calm myself and listen to my thoughts.”
“I can calm down and breathe. When I’m hyped up or having a bad day, I can relax. It makes me feel better.”
“It helped me deal with so much I was going through. It helped me to be able to talk about my feelings more and to stop focusing on all the drama going on in school.”
“Mindfulness gives me more self-control. It helps me get my mind straight when I’m worried about something.”
“It helped me get over what people were saying. I learned to mind my business and move on.”
“It is a fun place to go and I have learned that there are other ways to release your anger.”
How to Use This Approach at Home
The principal of Patterson High School, Vance Benton, has seen such success at the school that he now practices mindfulness at home with his son every morning before they start their day. One of HLF’s main tactics is to “use a reciprocal teaching model so that the youth go back to their homes and teach the techniques to their parents,” explains Andres A. Gonzalez, director of marketing at HLF. Wouldn’t you love to see your children deal with their emotions more effectively? Consider creating a calm corner in your home where your children can spend time when they’re irritated, frustrated, or angry.
And while our children are having a mindful moment, maybe parents can do the same.
Farmers Markets Offer a Bounty of Learning Opportunities
By Cherie Gough
Going to farmers markets on a regular basis puts fresh, seasonal produce at kids’ eye level. They start to notice that foods vary week by week and learn what’s in season. This offers an opportunity to discuss why they won’t see a watermelon in January and helps create family traditions like making peach pie in July. Farmers markets introduce kids to healthy new foods and support local farmers. Instead of just taking kids along for the ride with electronics in hand, turn a visit to the farmers market into an educational field trip. This community experience helps children learn where food comes from, reinforces important social skills, and offers fun math practice. Here are more ways to inspire learning.
1. Eat a Rainbow
Look for fruits and veggies in all the colors of the rainbow and try buying one of each color. This can be a lesson (and a good reminder to parents) about the importance of eating fresh, unprocessed foods. Eating each color of the rainbow provides different (and much-needed) vitamins and antioxidants to keep bodies and minds healthy and strong. How much fiber is enough?
2. To Market to Market
Let your child be in charge of a small purchase. Being responsible to hold the money and choose an item to buy will help build confidence and decisionmaking skills. It’s also an opportunity for kids to use the scale, estimate total cost, and count the money and change.
3. Practice Communication
I’ve taught my kids to say please and thank you, but in this age of overabundant screen time, an essential missing skill for many kids is everyday conversation with adults. The farmers market gives them practice using eye contact, projecting their voices, and asking meaningful questions. Asking a farmer questions such as “Why are these carrots purple?” helps kids feel a connection to those who grow the food and helps them gain understanding of where it comes from. Bonus: Teaching kids to ask questions that begin with “How” or “Why” encourages them to use analytical and evaluative skills.
4. One Potato, Two Potato
The littlest market-goers can take part in learning fun with counting practice. As they put pieces of fruit on the scale or in the bag, have them count each one aloud.
5. I Do Like Green Eggs and Ham!
Tech-savvy kids can use online resources to research what’s in season and find seasonal recipes that the family will enjoy. Meal planning and cooking provides buy-in when it’s time to eat dinner, especially when trying new foods. Don’t pass up free samples when shopping at the farmers market. They’re a great test to see if your family might like something new. Cooking together introduces key math concepts like measuring and fractions—and it’s just plain fun.
6. It’s Easy Being Green
Explain to your children how shopping at local farmers markets benefits the environment. Buying local means less gas to transport items for faraway places. Organic produce means no pesticides harmed the air or water to grow the crop. Dollars spent here contribute to the farmers’ livelihood and build a sense of community.
Marketplace Center 110 2nd St. S. Ste. 110 Waite Park, MN 56387
Art in Motion on the Lake Wobegon Trail is dedicated to supporting and inspiring healthy lifestyles through creativity, community, and connection to nature. Art in Motion builds unity and appreciation for Art and each other by hosting rotating gallery exhibits, weekly music performances, an open art studio, community events, a space friendly to families, folks of all ages, and users of the Lake Wobegon Trail— Boho Cafe nourishes this pursuit.
The artist, the appreciator, and the traveling soul are all welcome here.
Boho Cafe - Art Gallery - Art Studio Summer Family Art Class - Bike Rentals - Trail Access Summer Music Series - Wood Fire Pizza
Seven Tips for
Semi-Disaster Free Travel
When my oldest children were toddlers and Southwest had yet to open their doors to the northeast, I would often travel the 12 hours to my parents’, just me and the kids. These days iPads, laptops, and portable DVD players make travel with kids much more manageable. But some things never change, and as my husband and I prepare for summer travels with our toddler, these are the tips I hope will carry us through.
Toys: Bring many. Kids need something to toss across the car and preferably onto the driver. If traveling by airplane, toys are a useful tool to meet your fellow passengers. Dropped toys rolling around the aisles will ensure that you know which passengers are friendly and which pine for a child-free flight.
Make certain your child’s most cherished toy is on the packing list, the one that he or she can’t survive without at bedtime. No trip with young children is complete without a misplaced “lovey” and much crying accompanying both this tragedy and many others, large and small.
Change of clothes and plastic bags: If you travel with children often enough, there will eventually be barf. Most likely a fluke-puke will occur the one time you decide against bringing the emergency vomit supplies. Please don’t shoot the messenger. That’s just the rules of traveling with the very young.
Receiving blankets: Receiving blankets stay useful forever. I used them well into my kids’ teen years. Bring three more than what you think you’ll need, because no matter how many times a child refuses to use one, the blankie will become suddenly indispensable the second you decide to use one for a pillow.
Snacks and water: Throwing as many special snacks as possible into the back seat is a sure boredom buster. Bringing them with you rather than purchasing on the road ensures that you save money and that the ingredients are recognizable as food if you so choose.
Bathroom: Everyone “tries” before leaving the house. End of story.
By Jill Morgenstern
Wipes: It doesn’t matter how long the last child has been out of diapers, wipes are crucial for semi-disaster free travel. They come in especially useful at that moment when your neatly dressed longlost cousin hands your child a hot spicy Cheeto seconds before realizing that the ultimate destination for said Cheeto is all over the calf of his pants.
Gate check the stroller: When the airline cancels your flight hundreds of miles from your destination during a blinding snowstorm and tells you, “No, we can’t actually get you where you’re going or provide a hotel room...but how about this nice bus ticket?” you’ll want to have that thing at the ready. Having a baby carrier too is even better; the child can go into the carrier and the stroller can hold all the stuff.
I hope that these tips work as well for you as they have for me. Wishing you safe and happy travels with minimal barf!
Family Volunteer Vacations:
Doing Good While Having Fun
By Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
For your next family trip, how about doing some good while also having fun. Sound intriguing? It’s called a “family volunteer vacation,” and thousands of people across the country are doing it every year. The trips can last for a few days or several weeks, but they all have one thing in common: your family will spend some time helping out people or animals in need.
Why do so many families choose to go on these vacations? According to Nancy Schretter, the founder of Together For Good, a non-profit organization that organizes family volunteer vacations, “Families really want to give back and make the world a better place. They want to find meaningful trips where they can make a difference.”
Experts say that family volunteer vacations are beneficial not only to the
communities that are served but also to the families themselves. “Helping others while traveling,” says Charis Atlas Heelan, a writer for Frommer’s Travel Guides, “can instill a greater understanding of the world and teach your children about the importance of community, compassion, and consideration for others.” Indeed, says Ms. Heelan, “A volunteer vacation that your whole family can participate in may just be one of the most rewarding experiences that you will share together.”
How do you decide where to go? To make the trip as successful as possible, says Laura Eickhoff, an expert on family volunteer vacations and author of The Abroad Guide, a well-known travel blog, it’s important to find a destination that’s aligned with everyone’s interests: “If everybody’s not onboard from the start, you may find yourself with some lessthan-eager participants.” Amy Whitley, a travel reporter with a lot of experience in family volunteer vacations agrees, saying it’s particularly important to follow the
passions or interests of your kids: “For instance, if your child loves animals, consider a trip aiding marine mammal rescue, or if your kids have a passion for the outdoors, get your feet wet with a trip maintaining trails or landmarks with your local state park system.”
There are many organizations that can help you organize your family volunteer vacation to suit your particular interests. These include Give A Day Global, the Global Citizens Network, Global Volunteers, Globe Aware, Habitat For Humanity, Love Volunteers, Me to We, the Nature Corps, the Sierra Club, and Wilderness Volunteers.
HOW TO HELP YOUR KIDS
THEIR PURPOSE AND FULFILL THEIR DREAMS
By Sandi Schwartz
Every parent wishes that their children will have all of their dreams come true. Pursuing meaningful goals that reflect our purpose plays an important role in developing and maintaining a happy life. Achieving our dreams ultimately makes us happier emotionally and more satisfied with our lives. Positive psychology researchers have discovered that people who have a clear purpose in life experience less pain and anxiety. Feeling good about the future is important for our emotional well-being, and having a purpose gives us direction and something to look forward to. Without goals and a purpose, we just go through the motions of life and can start to feel numb and depressed. Each goal we set and achieve on the path to reaching our purpose takes us one step closer to true happiness and success in our lives. According to Psychology Today, progress on our goals makes us feel happier and more satisfied with life. In turn, positive emotions then make us more motivated to keep wanting to achieve even more. Goals give us a sense of accomplishment and are how we turn our dreams into reality.
SMART goals are used by managers to help their employees set realistic, attainable goals. The author of Embark on the Journey blog translated this business language to make it useful to families. She also created worksheets that you can easily download and work on with your children.
The acronym SMART represents goals that are:
SPECIFIC: The more specific we are, the more focused we can be in reaching a goal. When your children say they want to do better in school, ask questions to guide them in identifying a more detailed goal. For example, which subject would they like to do better in? What grade are they hoping to achieve?
MOur job as parents is to pass along this knowledge to our children so they can discover their own purpose in life and make choices based on what will make them happy and satisfied. A recent study published in the journal Psychological Science looked at whether the positive health effects of having a purpose in life also applied to young adults. The researchers found that having a strong purpose can be as important to young adults as it is to older people. This means that finding one’s direction in life should be done as early as possible. We can give our children tools so they can start crafting their purpose, even at a young age.
SET SMART GOALS
If we are not careful about how we set our goals, we can lose our balance. According to Action for Happiness, “Happiness doesn’t just happen–it comes from thinking, planning, and pursuing things that are important to us.” The types of goals we want to guide our children in setting should be interesting and engaging
EASURABLE: It is important that we help our children identify how they will know they reached their goal so it is clear what they are working towards. Is it an award, a grade, a project, or a skill they are looking to end up with in the end?
ACHIEVABLE: Goals should be challenging within reason–not impossible. It is best to encourage our children to take one step at a time and not to make things too difficult for themselves. They will be happier if they reach a few easier goals than struggling to attain a really difficult one.
RELEVANT: Goals need to mean something to the children. They need to be excited and passionate about what they are working towards. If we set the goals for them, they will not gain anything from the experience and may possibly fail and be stressed over what we expect from them.
TIMELY: If we don’t identify when we hope to achieve a goal, we are unable to succeed. Ask your children to determine a realistic time frame for meeting the goal. Be sure to consider other obligations and interests when choosing the estimated finish line.
As parents, we can guide our children through this discovery process to figure out their purpose in life. We can’t tell them what their purpose should be, but we can give them experiences and resources to help them discover their own sense of purpose and ultimately their true happiness. Some ways we can enhance
Taking them on trips–both domestic and abroad.
STAY FLEXIBLE
It is also important that our children learn how to stay flexible when setting and working towards their dreams. Goals are not meant to be written in stone. We should approach goals as fluid opportunities for personal growth. As they learn new techniques or fail at their first attempt, they can tweak their goals to better fit their needs over time. The key to success is to allow them to take a break, find a new perspective, and then come back and try again with a revised plan. Our children will thank us for teaching them this little trick in life so that they can learn to adapt more easily and persevere even when faced with unexpected surprises and challenges.
Exposing them to different cultures through food,
Exploring art and science through shows, museums,
Giving them opportunities to explore life on their own through camp, group trips, study abroad programs, and spending time with friends and family in other locations.
The world is their oyster–let’s allow them to find their true purpose so they can lead happy, fulfilling lives.
MANDY + TYLER
Tell us about your family.
Mandy: We are a family of six. Tyler is 38 and the best dad ever. He is an electrician for Melrose Electric. He is the most hard working and loving person that I know, and we are lucky to call him ours! He is pure strength and is the glue that keeps our family together and sane!
Tyler was raised in St. Cloud and graduated from Cathedral High School. After graduation, he went to St. Cloud Technical and Community College (SCTCC) to be an electrician and then on to continue his career at Wadena Community College for his lineman degree. He currently is a volunteer firefighter for the city of Sartell.
I am 42 and was born and raised in Central Minnesota. My family and I lived in Sartell until I was 3 and then moved to my parents’ dream home in Waite Park. I went to Apollo High School (Go Eagles!) and grew up doing competitive gymnastics and dance.
After high school, I went to St. Cloud State University for two years and then transferred to SCTCC and got my degree in dental assisting. Then, I ended up going back for my sales and management degree. I am currently working at the St. Cloud Surgical Center in the business office and love everything about my job!
Teaghan: Our first born. Oh my heart, do we love him! He is now 7 and the best big brother. He is in first grade and loves school more than any other kid I know. He loves to play baseball and hockey. He also enjoys fishing and hunting with Tyler and
his Papa Rick. When at home, you can find him riding his bike around our neighborhood with all his buddies. When Teaghan grows up, he wants to be a professional baseball player for the Minnesota Twins.
Mason, Twin A: He is my stubborn but most lovable baby! He is 5 and was born to do great things. Mason has had a tough year of being 4. He was diagnosed with a tumor called Rhabdomysarcoma Stage 3 in his face on February 17, 2024. Surgery to remove the tumor was not an option being it was in the center of his face/ear. He did 42 rounds of chemotherapy at Children’s Minneapolis and six weeks of radiation at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. He was strong, brave and did most of it without crying (mom did most of that for him). He did it with grace and is a champion at throwing up now. As of December 6, 2024, he is completely cancer free. He will have to do threemonth scans for a very long time and will have to endure the rest of his life with that in the back of his mind. He is hilarious at all times and never can get enough hugs and kisses, and if he feels like it wasn’t a good enough one, he will come back and tell you he needs a tighter hug. He will be trying T-ball this summer and wants to try hockey next winter. He loves to jam to all kinds of music and is my dancing partner; no matter when and where, he is down for it! Mason wants to be a firefighter like his dad, a pilot, or a doctor like the people who saved his life! This kid will do great things in life, I just know it!
Sawyer, Baby B: My little bird, the little boy who was squished in my belly by his big brother Mason. He is the sweetest boy to
ever live. His love for people and animals is abrimal. He is our sensitive one. He isn’t afraid to fight back when need be but always feels bad after he sticks up for himself. He will tell you that he loves you a million times a day. In his free time, you can find him riding his EZ-roller or bike. He loves frog hunting or pointing out any animal that crosses his path to anyone who will listen. He also will be trying T-ball this summer and hockey next winter. He loves to fish and hunt with Tyler and going up to our “hunting land” to explore. When Sawyer grows up, he wants to be a monster truck driver or a firefighter like his dad.
Tucker: Our last baby–the one God knew we needed. He is the perfect addition and completes our family. He is 2 and is a complete spitfire. He has blonde hair with a curly mullet and big blue eyes, and he knows how to use them to get what he wants at all times. He is always making us laugh and definitely gives us a run for our money. He loves his big brothers and copies everything that they do. He is obsessed with “Cocomelon” and “Peppa Pig.” He is talking nonstop and will tell you exactly what he is thinking, and we all know kids can be brutally honest. We call him our “sour patch kid” because at first he is sour and then he is completely sweet. He is pure sass and we wouldn’t want it any other way.
What is your best advice for parents?
Mandy: The days might seem long, the weeks might seem longer, but the years fly by. Enjoy as much as possible while they are little. Who cares if your house is dirty and the laundry isn’t done because you will never get that time back with them when they are little.
Tyler: Always work together. Stay active with each other and make sure to go on dates with each other (both parents need a break from kids every once and a while). Communicate with each other often to see each other’s perspective on things. Listen to each other’s needs and wants, and tackle any issues together. Never ignore each other even when times become tough. Your kids watch you and your wife closely and learn from how you act toward and treat each other.
What does your family do for fun?
Mandy: Our family loves to be outside, whether it’s just playing around the house, fishing up in Alexandria on Lake Reno, or playing any kind of sports or competition against each other. We love dance parties on Friday nights and Nintendo switch competitions.
Tyler: We like baseball, hockey, fishing and boating. We also like to go on trips.
How do you balance work and personal life?
Mandy: I am so lucky to only work part time for a living. I work about two days a week, so I have a lot of time to spend with my kids. When the twins were born, I went from working full time to casual/pool status at my job. That gave me the flexibility of adding in when I wanted and also gave me all the time I wanted to be able to stay home and snuggle my babies.
Tyler: I am not very good at this because I work as much as I can, but I try to keep my work at work, and when it comes to family time, I like to concentrate on spending time with my wife and children.
Did you always know you wanted to be a mom and dad?
Mandy: 100%. I have always wanted to be a mom. I grew up carrying around cabbage patch dolls from the time I could walk until it was too cool to play with them anymore. My mom says I used to push around babies that were twins. She thinks deep down inside I knew I would have twins one day. I was an only child growing up and always told everyone who would listen that I wanted at least four children. I never wanted my kids to be only children like I was. I always wanted the chaos of the big family dynamic.
Tyler: I never really put that much thought into it, but after having kids, it is fun and stressful at the same time. The fun outweighs the stress of being a dad by a long shot.
Do you have any advice for a new mom or new dad?
Mandy: Give yourself grace–it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Accept help and trust your instincts; mom gut is a real thing. Don’t stress the small stuff and take time for yourself. You’ve got this girl!
Tyler: Help out as much as you can. Try to get your kid or kids to experience new things as much as you can, and don’t take new experiences away from the kids. Never second guess a mother’s instinct–they always have a sixth sense, and it rarely is wrong when it comes to kids being sick.
What is your advice for families?
Mandy: Empower your children, build them up to be the best they can be. They are our future!
Tyler: Communication is key. Keep active. Always do and experience new things.
What have you learned from your family?
Mandy: I’ve learned that family is everything. No matter the ups and downs, the highs and the lows, they are always there no matter what and love fiercely. They are my ride or dies, and I would do anything for them and know they would do the same for me.
Tyler: The way you communicate affects the outcome of the issue. Also, there will be tough times and getting through them depends on how you work together.
What are ways your family connects with the community?
Tyler: I am currently a volunteer firefighter and participate in many community events that the department participates in, along with my wife and kids.
Mandy: Growing up, I never felt a connection with my community, and here in Sartell, it’s a completely different story. Sartell has stepped up when our family needed the most help. They sold shirts, had a benefit, and local businesses donated more than we could have ever imagined. We had people reaching out from all over the world to help us when Mason was diagnosed. I have never felt more love and support from our community, family and friends than I have in this last year. We are forever grateful and can’t express enough to them how thankful we are! It made me believe in humanity again, and there are great people still out there!
What is the best advice you’ve received?
Mandy: Let things roll off my back and not let what I can’t control control me or my actions.
Tyler: Never take life for granted and do as many things as you can. Work hard, but keep work at work and never bring those issues home.
What are your children interested in these days?
Mandy: My boys are all boys. They love getting dirty, and when I say that, we can be in the cleanest place possible but dirt will find them. They love playing outside on their bikes, the trampoline or just having races around the house. The love for monster trucks
and race cars in our house is unreal. They love anything that can turn into a competition. They love listening to loud music and having dance parties. Our house is loud and like WWE at all times.
Tyler: All the kids really enjoy being at the lake. Fishing and hunting, baseball, hockey. One that just became a very big interest is looking at airplanes and watching them.
Do you have any advice for people facing adversity?
Mandy: Until this past year, I wouldn’t have known how to answer this, but my best advice for people facing adversity is to lean on your people, reach out for help, and take all the things people want to do for you with grace. It’s not always easy accepting help when needed, but they wouldn’t be doing it if they didn’t want to help and love you. Believe in miracles, they do happen! I didn’t believe until this past year, and now you couldn’t convince me that they don’t exist!
Tyler: Never give up, keep going forward, and lean on your family and friends for help. Learn from mistakes and use them as lessons. There are always more people in this world that will help you through things than you will ever know, whether they know you or have never met you.
DEBORAH KRUMP
Stop in and browse the Friends Bookstore
We have good quality used books and media, plus a variety of vintage and collectible books at bargain prices. You’ll find popular novels, classics, thrillers, history books, cookbooks, children’s books, and more!
Staffed Hours
Monday - Thursday 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Friday 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Located right inside the main door of the St. Cloud Public Library.
1300 W. St. Germain St. Cloud, MN 56301
All proceeds support the St. Cloud Public Library and the Great River Regional Library System.
Talking to Your Child About AI
By Emily Goenner Munson
When Chat-GPT debuted in November 2022, the digital landscape changed significantly. Suddenly, students could feed their homework into a generative artificial intelligence program and instantly have responses. Over half of students now admit to using AI to help with homework, and that number is likely higher. Educators have been grappling with how to deal with generative AI even as its uses and abilities change rapidly. As a parent, what do you need to know and do to help your child navigate the work of AI?
What is Generative AI?
Generative artificial intelligence programs are massive computer programs that were “taught” on millions of data points and created to interact like a person. You “chat” with the program, asking questions and receiving answers nearly instantly. AI can generate responses for tests or essays or create images or a slew of other tasks. However, generative AI cannot truly “create;” it is only as good as the information it was trained on and only knows that information. It will pull and arrange information from vast stores, so it “creates ” responses to the prompts a user enters. Generative AI is being used by students, teachers, and companies to do tasks from writing an essay or email, to writing code, planning lesson plans or vacations, and scheduling or organizing tasks. Since AI is becoming more and more integrated into our daily lives, understanding how to use generative AI ethically and effectively is essential.
Starting a Discussion
As with many technological developments, your kids might know more about AI than you do. However, you have experience and can use that to help shape your children’s use of AI. The first step with AI is to discuss your child’s understanding of it, ethical uses, and the future.
To open a conversation with your child about generative AI, consider the following questions:
• What do you know about generative AI?
AI is still young enough that not everyone is aware of it or using it, so start with a clear understanding of what your child knows and does not know. If your child does not know much about generative AI, take some time to learn together or explain your understanding or your use of AI.
• Are you using generative AI at school? If so, how? Why or why not?
These questions get to the heart of teachers’ concerns about AI being used for cheating. You could ask your child about their teachers’ AI policies—is it ok to use it? What for? If your child is not using AI, ask why. Listen carefully to their answers about their use of AI so you can determine their understanding of the ethical issues involved in AI.
• Do you think it is ethical to use AI?
The ethical issues around AI are varied and complicated, from copyright laws, to fair use, to AI companies’ use of your data. But you do not need to be an expert to discuss ethics with your child. Put issues in terms your child can understand. Is it fair to use someone’s work without their permission, for example? If AI is not ethical, why is everyone using it? The discussion of ethics should simply make your child aware of the issues and highlight your family’s values.
• What are some effective ways to use AI?
Many teachers are encouraging the use of AI in specific ways. For example, AI is great for starting a brainstorming session by providing some ideas to develop. AI is also good at creating outlines, which students often struggle with when authoring essays, or summarizing information. Highlight the fact that AI may “hallucinate,” which means it may provide false or fake information. AI sounds authoritative but it requires careful use and collaboration of facts.
• Discuss the drawbacks of AI.
Using AI may seem easy, but you can emphasize the dangers of using AI, especially in terms of your child’s intellectual growth and development. For example, using AI to “write” essays eliminates the writer’s experience of forming and thinking through ideas, developing organization, finding
words, and creating text. Having AI summarize a book eliminates the experience of discovery as the reader follows the characters’ paths and co-creates meaning in the story.
Consider discussing the emotional aspects of communication that AI lacks.
AI sounds like a person, but it isn’t. It doesn’t have experiences or feelings; it only knows patterns and data. People bring their unique blend of experience, values, emotions, and more to anything they do, and that can’t be replicated by AI. Emphasize the importance to the human when connecting with other people.
Making Family Guidelines About AI
While teachers and schools may institute rules about use of AI, your family may consider rules that fit with your value system. Talk with your children about reasonable uses for AI. Maybe using AI to help explain a difficult math concept is ok, but using it to write your history paper is not. Or, you could require your child to attempt the homework before turning to AI for help.
Helping your child identify specific instances when they may or may not want to use AI and why will help them think carefully about whether or not they want to use it. You can reinforce your family values by establishing your own family rules about AI use, but remember to revisit the rules frequently as AI is changing rapidly.
Looking Ahead
Your role in helping your child understand AI will require continual effort.
First, stay informed. Pay attention to the AI policies in place in your child’s classroom or school. The policies may vary from classroom to classroom so you may need to help your child manage different uses, which can be challenging.
Review the policies and suggestions on a website such as Common Sense Media. Written for educators and families, Common Sense Media has more tips about important AI topics, such as plagiarism and bias, and suggestions for helping children use AI, chatbots, and more.
Follow the news about AI. Major developments will continue and if you know about them, you can discuss them with your child.
The AI discussion should be ongoing. Maintaining an open dialogue with your child about their use of AI is important as your child moves from middle to high school. The uses of AI and AI’s abilities are developing rapidly so the AI conversation is one that will be ongoing. By establishing a conversation early, hopefully, you can deal with AI changes together in ways that fit your family’s values.
How to Tell if Your Kid Might Be the Victim of Cyberbullying
Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
No matter how much and how well you try to protect your kids, there’s always the possibility that they’ll become the victims of cyberbullying. If that’s the case, how do you know if your kids are being cyberbullied? What are the tell-tale warning signs?
It’s important to know the warning signs as only about one in 10 kids tell their parents about being cyberbullied. Dr. Michele Borba, an internationally-renowned expert on cyberbullying, says “Don’t expect your child will come and tell you about the harassment. Research says that chances are that your child won’t tell which is why you need to tune in closer and get educated.”
Kids often keep silent because they’re ashamed, fear retribution from the bully, and, perhaps most surprising to parents, are afraid that their computer and phone access will be restricted or taken away which, in turn, they see as an unfair punishment of them rather than the bully. Unlike traditional bullying which often leaves physical marks like bruises or black eyes, cyberbullying can often only be identified by certain changes in a kid’s behavior. Cyberbullying can occur right in front of parents, or in the next room, without them realizing it.
According to Drs. Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center, you can tell if your kids might be the victims of cyberbullying by paying close attention to their general demeanor and online behavior. Like victims of traditional bullying, kids who’re cyberbullied often show signs of depression. They exhibit little interest in the things and activities that used to matter to them the most, tend to withdraw from friends and family, experience sudden changes in their eating and sleeping patterns, and complain of headaches and stomachaches. “Moodiness and mood swings are just part of being [a child],” says Walter Meyer, a well-known cyberbullying expert. “But if a child really changes–becomes withdrawn, stops speaking to friends, etc.–the parents should ask what is going on and not be satisfied with ‘nothing’ as an answer.”
Research by the National Crime Prevention Council shows that kids who’re cyberbullied often are fearful about going to school, ask to be driven to school rather than take the school bus, skip school when they can get away with it or request permission to leave school early because they feel sick, have trouble focusing and fall behind in their school work, and may even experience a significant drop in their grades. This is often precipitated by problems with sleeping which make it difficult for them to focus on the school work.
While it’s important to pay close attention to your kids’ general demeanor, pay particularly close attention to their online behavior.
Kids who’re cyberbullied tend to be unusually secretive about what they’re doing online, avoiding conversations with their parents about which sites they’re on, who they’re talking to, and the topics of their conversations. If they’re willing to talk to their parents about what they’re doing online at all, they’re likely to get defensive and give vague or dubious-sounding explanations.
Kids who’re cyberbullied often quickly turn off their computers or phones when a parent enters their space, hide, clear or rapidly switch screens, or outright refuse to use their devices unless the parent leaves. They also tend to be unwilling to part with their devices, or share them with their parents, fearing that their parents might find out what’s going on. This is especially true in the evening when friends and cyberbullies are most likely to be online.
When they are online, kids who’re cyberbullied tend to be visibly agitated or jumpy, especially when they receive an IM, text or email from a bully. Their minds are racing with thoughts and emotions as they’re trying to figure out how best to handle the situation without revealing anything to others. They’re also likely to keep checking their computers and phones while going back and forth between different screens in short spurs, say they’re doing homework when they’re really doing something else entirely, and may abruptly shut off or walk away from their devices mid-use for no outwardly apparent reason.
Not surprisingly, kids who’re cyberbullied often appear angry or frustrated after they have been online. Some may suddenly and unexpectedly stop going online at all. Others may go online more than usual, unable to resist the temptation to check whether any new comments have been posted about them. Another possible indication that your kids are the victims of cyberbullying is that they try to cover their “online tracks” such as by erasing their user history folders every time they turn off their devices.
You know your kids better than anyone else. Look for multiple signs that seem to go together; they could be an indication that they are the victims of cyberbullying. “The key,” as Dr. Borba says, “is to look for a pattern in your child. You shouldn’t overlook a sudden change that’s not your child’s ‘normal’ behavior.”
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5
COMMON STRESSORS FOR CHILDREN AND HOW WE CAN HELP
By Brandy Browne
Experiencing stress is a normal part of human life. And just like us, our children and youth experience stress on a regular basis. However, as adults, many of us have already had the chance to develop our own skills and strategies for coping with stress – for example, we know how to set boundaries, when to take time to rest, and when to reach out to someone for help.
Our children on the other hand? They may struggle to cope with the stressors that life throws their way. They may not know how to say “no,” how to take breaks when they need to, and how to cope with big life transitions. They may also struggle to balance their school and social life, and they may not know how to express themselves if they are feeling overwhelmed.
The good news? As parents, educators, and youth workers, we can help to equip our children with the tools they need to stay resilient, to solve problems, and to prioritize their wellbeing to prevent their stress levels from spiralling out of control.
5 Common Stressors for Children
Before we get into what we can do to help our children learn how to manage stress, it’s important that we acknowledge the most common stressors that our children face regularly. This is not an exhaustive list; however, it is a list of five of the most common stressors to be aware of.
1. Social stress
Coming off the heels of Bullying Prevention Month in the United States, it is important to note that many youth rank issues with friendship as one of their top three stressors. It is easy, especially for teens on social media, to look at everyone’s highlight reels and feel excluded or not enough. Unfortunately, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse can also still occur at school among kids, which is obviously a source of stress for many children.
2. Tracks for development
The pressure to make it into university, find a career, and have a successful life can put a ton of pressure on children as young as 12. Gina Shaw (2015) writes about how a young eighth-grade girl in the U.S. was called into the guidance counselor’s office at the end of the year for something called “career cruising,” which is a self-exploration and assessment tool to help kids plan for their future.
Although well-intended, tools like this can put unnecessary pressure on kids, oftentimes making them feel like one small misstep may put them behind and subsequently ruin their entire life.
Kids as young as five also feel the pressure to succeed academically. For example, when I was in kindergarten, we learned how to get along with friends and share. My daughter in kindergarten today, however, already has a target to read at least 75 words by the end of the year.
3. Overstuffed schedules
The stress of a packed schedule can also be very overwhelming for children and can cause stress.
I remember one year I was bound and determined to have every one of my kids in an extracurricular activity outside of school. The problem was that none of our schedules lined up. Therefore, two had gymnastics one night (not at the same time) and one had ninja class a different night. I was working full time, and my husband worked the night shift. We were exhausted, and we never saw each other. Now, we are more careful to build downtime into our schedules.
4. Family stress and changes
Big changes such as moving houses or schools, blending two families, getting divorced, or having a baby can cause stress on the children in your household.
A couple of years ago, my family made a big lifestyle shift by moving out into the countryside. It was a good change, but we definitely went through some growing pains while adjusting. If your children are melting down frequently, examine changes in your lives that have occurred recently. Even positive changes bring very physical symptoms of stress that we may be responding to.
5. Parental stress
Children learn how to manage stress from their parents. And if the adults in their lives are not coping well with stress, they will in turn experience feelings of stress and instability. As parents, it is important to take care of your own mental and physical health so that you can be there to help your child effectively manage their own wellbeing.
What Can We Do to Help?
So how can we proactively help our kids cope with stress? Here are a few ideas.
Make time for play!
In the classroom, kids are feeling the pressure to do more faster and earlier than ever before. However, making sure that they get enough time for unstructured play not only helps them blow off steam, but it is critical for their growth and development of stress management skills.
Stay connected
One of the best ways to help children build resilience is to maintain a strong connection with them. Make sure to build in time for meaningful, electronic-free conversation every day.
Stick to a routine
Yes, there are going to be days where it just doesn’t happen, no matter how hard you try.
However, knowing that dinner is at 6 p.m. and bedtime is at 9 p.m. most nights is helpful for kids. Not knowing what to expect breeds feelings of stress, and having a somewhat predictable routine can help your child to feel more at ease.
Take care of yourself
As I stated before, our children are learning to manage stress by watching us. It is important to take care of our own needs so that we can focus on modeling healthy behaviors for them. It’s worth it!
Final Thoughts
Finally, reach out if you need help. Speak with a counselor or your doctor. Seek out a support group.
A Parent’s Guide to Sleepovers
By Jill Morgenstern
My son’s first sleepover was at the home of a nurse. “He’ll be safer with her than he would be with me!” I reasoned. His sister was upset that he got to go. At two and a half years older, she had never slept over at a friend’s. The problem was that her invites had generally been by parents I didn’t know. Not only was my son going to be in the care of a nurse, the nurse was someone I knew well. The difference between the sleepover that he got to attend and the ones that she had been deprived of was a safety issue. I felt good about sending him and it wasn’t a matter of his age.
Sleepovers can cause anxiety in even the most seasoned parents. How old should children be? How do I know they’re safe? Will they have a good time, or be cranky? And although some parents ban them completely, others consider them an indispensable right of passage.
Sleepovers have many benefits:
Kids get a longer unstructured time to socialize. Especially with our busy schedules, unstructured play time is to be treasured. This larger block of time than they usually get with each other can provide needed time to socialize more deeply and engage in more intricate play.
Children get to see how other families function. Getting to see how other families eat dinner or their bedtime routines expands children’s horizons. Whether it is different foods to try at dinner or different expectations about bedtime, children get a peek into a whole new world.
Sleepovers promote independence. As children grow older these experiences of being away from their parents will benefit them as they ultimately tackle the wider world by themselves. When your child wants to go on a school trip or to camp, he or she will already have the experience of having been away from home.
Sleepovers increase responsibility as children learn how to navigate a new situation by themselves. Normal routines are suspended as they take charge of packing and getting ready for bed themselves.
How do you know if your child is ready for a sleepover?
According to clinical psychologist Samantha Rodman, there are a number of signs to keep in mind. Readiness for a sleepover is highly dependent on the individual child. According to Rodman, “If a child does well when traveling and sleeping in other beds, that is a good sign. If they are independent and view the sleepover as an adventure, allow them to try it out. Kids with social anxiety may be more hesitant and try later than other kids. Overall, by fourth grade most kids will be ready to sleep at a good friend’s house.”
Before the Sleepover
In his book “Protecting the Gift,” Gavin DeBecker recommends treating the family of a potential sleepover with as much scrutiny as you would a babysitter. One easy way to accomplish this is to insist that before you send your child on a sleepover, that child spend the night at your home. This gives you a chance to get to know the family and find out more about them. Even if it’s a family you know well you will want to verify details, such as who will be home on the night of the sleepover, whether there are guns in the house, and what types of media are allowed.
Discuss your expectations in advance. Of course you want your child to use their best manners, to go to bed when expected, and to eat politely at the table. But it is equally important that your kids know that they can call you at any time if they are uncomfortable.
During the Sleepover
Most children will be happy with the additional time to play together. But if you want something more structured when you host, try a themed sleepover. Maybe it’s a movie night or baking night. Or perhaps an indoor camping party is more your child’s style.
After the Sleepover
Discuss how the sleepover went afterward. What were the ups and downs? This information can help you plan the next sleepover or let you know if there’s anything you need to discuss with the other parents.
Plan for an easy following day. Most kids don’t sleep much on the night of a sleepover. They stay up well past bedtime and are often up at the crack of dawn due to the excitement. It’s better to plan a sleepover when your child can rest and recover the next day than to have to attend an important event with a crabby child.
With a little preparation, it’s possible to not only survive your children’s sleepovers but help your children make great memories! By keeping these ideas in mind next time your child asks for a sleepover, you can do your best to ensure that your child has a good experience.
happy meals
By Sandra Gordon
“What did you do in school today?” “Who did you play with at recess?” “Did you see that article in the newspaper?”
Eating together as a family may not seem like such a big deal. But it can make a big difference for your kids in terms of their self-image, sense of security, selfesteem, and overall sense of happiness. “Regular family meals are probably the best psychological ‘daily vitamin’ parents can give their children,” says Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., L.C.S.W, a family therapist in Millis, Mass., and author of Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We’re Going to Grandma’s. “They’re far more powerful in the long and short term than you might think they are.”
That’s because family meals make kids feel good, especially when you focus on keeping the conversation positive. “Dinner can be a wonderful time to hear about everyone’s day or anything else your kids want to talk about that you don’t usually take the time to discuss,” says Vicki Panaccione, Ph.D., founder of the Better Parenting Institute in Melbourne, Fla. It also gives kids the chance to be themselves and share their opinions within the safe confines of home, without risking the rejection of their peers. And even toddlers can begin to feel like a valued contributing member of the family when they scootch their chair up to the dinner table and start to chime in. While the peas are being passed, the open forum also gives your kids the opportunity to learn about your family’s history and your past—the time, for example, when you got sent to the principal because you threw peas in the lunch room. Mom threw peas?! Who knew?
It’s no wonder that family meals are associated with lower teenage pregnancy rates, higher grade point averages, fewer eating disorders in teens, and lower risk of depression. Moreover, the psychological benefits go both ways. A telephone survey sponsored by Barilla found that adults who eat with their kids regularly with few distractions (no TV or phone) report higher overall life satisfaction. “Family meals pay off for adults and children,” says William J. Doherty, Ph.D., professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota in St. Paul, who helped Barilla analyze the survey results. It’s a ritual none of us really ever outgrow. The key is to start the meal tradition when your kids are young, then keep it up. “When you get your kids into the habit of family dinners, they’ll keep doing it when they get older and become more independent,” Doherty says, in other words, when they morph into eye-rolling teenagers.
To keep everyone coming back from more, turn off the TV and cell phones and up the fun factor. Need ideas? We asked moms just like you to share the unique ways they make meals memorable and festive for the whole family. Here’s what they said.
“We have picnics on the dining room floor.”
“Every now and then, my family eats dinner on the floor,” says Michelle Nicholasen, the mom of five. “We spread out a tablecloth or picnic blanket and eat something on the ground that’s really a drag to clean up, like the rice in burritos or Chinese food. My kids think sitting on the floor is weird and fun, and even funnier that my husband and I are doing it, too. I notice that when we eat on the floor, my kids don’t complain as much about the food and they can’t jockey for seats or get up and wander around like they sometimes do. It breaks us out of a rut.”
“We have DIY dinners.”
“At least once a week, I’ll put out all the parts of the dinner separately and have my husband and son make their own version of whatever it is we’re having,” says Jill Houk. “With taco night, for example, I’ll put out corn tortillas, refried beans, Spanish rice, shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, cheese, salsa, meat, and cheese. My husband and son love it because they can make their own taco combos and I love it because I don’t have to be the one to do all the work. Build-a-dinner works great with pasta, burritos, pizza and even dessert with company such as a make-your-own sundae bar.”
“We have table talkers.”
“We have a ‘talk about it’ bowl, an actual bowl that my kids and my husband and I can fill with conversation starters, such as an article we’ve seen, a photo we’ve ripped out of a magazine, or an object, like a funny sticker, to later talk about at the table,” says Jeanne Muchnick, the mom of two teenage girls. “If no one puts something in the bowl, I have a list of questions I’ve typed up and folded up like Chinese fortunes that are meant to stir conversation, such as: What actor/actresses would play you in the movie of your life and why? What’s the funniest story you know about yourself as a baby? If you could change your name, what would it be? What activities would fit into your perfect day? Would you be willing to have nightmares every night for a year if you could be rewarded with extraordinary wealth? If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? The questions have changed as my girls have gotten older. But over the years, we’ve found out some interesting stuff about each other. This game is even more fun to do with guests.”
“We light candles every night.”
“Eating by candlelight makes the dinner seem special and gets my kids to slow down, have a conversation, and linger at the table to share stories from the day long after the food is gone,” says Pamela MacPhee, the mom of three middle schoolers.
“We have storybook dinners.”
“When my 6-year-old son, Franklin, gets interested in a character or a historical happening, I create a meal around it,” says Elura Nanos Kish. “For example, he’s been reading an Australian storybook in which the characters eat pavlova (a meringue-based dessert with strawberries or kiwi) and lamington (sponge cake dipped in chocolate), so we found recipes for these desserts and made them for a little Aussie dinner party, along with shrimp on the barbie. If we center dinner around a theme, it’s no problem to get everyone excited about it.”
“My
husband and sons do the cooking.”
“Every Tuesday night, my husband and sons plan dinner and prepare it. I love it because I have a night off, plus it’s a great way for the kids to learn to cook,” says Padi Selwyn, the mom of two.
“I fix lots of finger foods.”
“My boys love to dip and dunk so I often serve finger foods such as wings, ribs, celery stuffed with light cream cheese and Greek yogurt, and carrot sticks,” says Georgia Orcutt, the mom of two. “I also fill a compartmentalized appetizer tray with sliced cucumbers, sliced peppers, pieces of strong cheese, nuts, olives, crackers, and sliced whole-grain breads along with Greek yogurt, hummus, tzatziki, even applesauce. They love to play with the combinations.”
“My kids help make dinner an event.”
“My girls help me plan our meals for the week,” says Christine Bolzan, the mom of three girls ages 8, 6 and 3. “They’ll write the grocery list for me, drawing items if they can’t spell them. Then they’ll carry the list through the grocery store and check off items as we find them. I think my girls have more fun with dinner because they’re included in the process. They’ve planned entirely green dinners—pesto chicken, broccoli, honeydew melon, and a salad. We’ve also had princess night in which everyone comes in costume and dinner is served on our good China.”
Letter
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
- Oscar Wilde
This edition of Minnesota Family celebrates the season of exploration and discovery, summer travels and the outdoors.
Our articles offer practical guidance to help families nurture children's creativity (p. 4), engage young minds during summer months (p. 6), and explore farmers markets together (p. 10). We delve into the science behind mindfulness as an alternative to traditional discipline (p. 8) and examine how family meals create lasting bonds (p. 32).
This edition, our family focus is on Mandy and Tyler’s family; they share their journey of finding purpose through work, family adventures, and helping their children discover their dreams (p. 18). Their insights complement our articles on helping children fulfill their dreams (p. 16) and navigating difficult conversations about technology (p. 22).
Every article reminds us that summer offers unique opportunities for growth—whether through artistic expression, outdoor exploration, or simply being present with one another. These shared experiences become the memories that shape our children's lives and strengthen family connections.
