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Spring 2025 Issue 8 Spring 2025 Issue 8

Table of Contents Staff.................................................2

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Letter from the Editor................3 Silly Love Songs Playlist............36

MilliBits

Turning Pages...................................4

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More Than Words...........................6

MilliPeople

Finding Love Word Search............7

Advocating for Izzy...........................................8 Roomates By Chance, Friends By Choice...9 Why Spectrum?..............................................10

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Features

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MilliThoughts

Finding My Calling.........................................11 The Love Within Me....................................12 Leveling Up Through Life............................14

Popping with Postivity.......................19

Discovering Love..........................................15

Commitment & Commanding.........22

Drowning in Lake Decatur.........................16

Hungry for Change............................25

Love Story......................................................17

Puppy Love & Playing House...........29 Second Family: Siblinghood..............33 BURST

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STAFF Editor-in-Chief Eden Niebrugge

Editors

Chase Mason Helana Swenson Grace Talbert

Writers

Tabitha Barowsky Lily Bryson Isabella Blohm A’Majeine Carson Kerrigan Dunham Eden Niebrugge Rochelle Pense Reed Pierson Cristy Proctor Anna Quick Colby Wygal Shaina Yumol

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Assistant Editor

Anna Quick

Creatives

Madelyn Beck Hani Cho Seo-Yun Cho Caley Fyke Taylor Hoch Sven Hoekstra Timo Hubers Joey Huizenga Jeezy Johnson Max Macke Crux May Jeremiah Renfro Arcane Webb Gabriel Williams

Faculty Design Advisor Professor Jessa Wilcoxen Faculty Editorial Advisor Dr. Julie Bates

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Dear readers, As an entirely student-run publication, BURST Magazine seeks to represent the interests of the students who participate in the creation of the magazine. Each issue takes on a new topic that embodies what students are most concerned about that year.

This issue, “The Love Within Us,” hopes to remind us of the passions, projects and values we share during a time where society is divided and hostile. As we “burst” out of the Millibubble to embrace community beyond college life, we must also burst out of our petty disagreements to discover how the love within us will change the world. Whether it be seeking our true purpose, improving ourselves or finding a community we belong to, love is what pushes every individual to keep going.

While love conjures images of bright red hearts and romance, it also represents the things in life that we value the most — the things held close to our hearts that we would never let go. In this issue, love is redefined. To some, love is a special place that brings them peace. To others, love might be a hobby or passion project that they’ve invested into. It could even be the relentless search for healthy queer relationships in a heteronormative society. No matter how you view love, you are certain to find an article in this issue that resonates with you. If you’re unsure where to start in your search for love, jump to pages 6 and 7 for an article and word search about love languages.

Love might feel distant right now, or maybe it’s directly in front of you. Either way, this issue of BURST seeks to slow down the social media scroll and endless assignments to provide you with the time to reflect on what love means to you. Before we can give ourselves to a cause, partner or purpose, love has to have meaning. Maybe, if the passions and people we love drive us, this world will be a bit easier to handle for everyone.

Take it easy,

Eden Niebrugge Editor-in-Chief BURST

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Turning Pages By: Eden Niebrugge

Turning pages can be more difficult than anticipated for a busy student, but reading books for enjoyment is worth the extra time.

With thousands of pages of articles to read and memorize for multiple classes every day, the typical book a college student might read is likely their textbook. On top of this, rapid technological advances seem to promote scrolling on social media over reading for enjoyment.

From the looks of these two influences, you might expect the book publishing industry to be in a frantic hurry to promote reading.

However, technology has been advancing how we read stories, whether through audiobooks or fanfiction websites, and college students are finding the time to read despite their busy schedules.

For good or for bad, we can admit that reading has changed, and people are changing with it.

Throughout it all, one thing remains: the educational value of books.

Madelyn Letourneau, a nursing major, switches between her favorite genres of romance and psychological thrillers. Besides providing her with the recipe for a good relationship and the best tools to not go insane, these genres might sound uninformative. However, Letourneau believes when you frequently read, “you pay more attention.” To what?

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Well, it depends more on your life than a book’s genre. For Letourneau, noticing patient behaviors and social patterns can help her be more relatable and trustworthy. Beyond analyzing others, reading between the lines can change how you react to situations or help you make choices.

After you pick up on the details, other things start to make sense too. Summer Fast uses reading as a technique for her musical theater major. “I’m used to being in someone else’s head,” Fast says. “It helps with empathy for acting. They compliment each other.” First-person narratives require readers to literally walk in the protagonist’s shoes, exposing them to people with different viewpoints than themselves. Without realizing it, we’re taught about diversity when we read because every writer doesn’t have the same views.

MILLIBITS Despite an attempt to reduce attention spans through endless scrolling and 7-second videos, social media has had a somewhat positive effect on keeping readers engaged. BookTok, or videos on TikTok used by readers for readers, exploded in 2024. People use this community to reenact scenes from their favorites, share spoilers and give recommendations or leave reviews. Letourneau believes it can be a “good resource to expand your reading” and used it herself to “get back into reading.” Indie authors not represented by publishing houses can also share their self-published books with them.

Unfortunately, BookTok is just a hashtag on TikTok, meaning that the app wasn’t created specifically for readers. Despite being the reason she reads again, Letourneau confesses that readers should be wary of it. “They’re judgmental,” she says. “They base what they want you to read based on how much smut is in the book.” Young readers could

Need a recommendation?

instead rely on websites made for readers rather than be influenced by people hoping to get views.

Fast sometimes scrolls through BookTok, but not to pick out her next read. Some TikTok creators get commissions for promoting deals on Kindle and Audible books, all of which are a growing part of the publishing industry. Fast only searches for these deals to fuel her summer reading, where she listens to books on Audible instead of lugging a book around.

While Fast typically stays away from book websites, Letourneau enjoys reading reviews on Goodreads. She says, “It’s more accurate and less dramatized for views” than Tiktok. If none of my favorite authors have a new book, I simply visit a library or bookstore to find my next read. While this practice can be limiting to what the store has, it keeps away unwanted opinions or reviews from influencing my decisions.

Even if it’s not intended, every book leaves a lasting impact on our lives; it could be another person’s perspective or an entirely different worldview. Whether you prefer to ignore every review or scroll through TikTok before picking up your next book, keep turning pages and staying educated.

I suggest “Salvage the Bones” by Jesmyn Ward, “Interior Chinatown” by Charles Yu, and “A Children’s Bible” by Lydia Millet. Otherwise, Holly Black’s fantasy books are my absolute favorites.

Summer Fast recommends the Canadian coming-of-age story “Anne of Green Gables” by L.M. Montgomery. As for fantasy, she fell in love with Leigh Bardugo’s “Six of Crows” and “Rule of Wolves” books.

Madelyn Letourneau suggests “The Silent Patient” by Alex Michaelides if you’re looking for a psychological thriller and “Set on You” by Amy Lea for a body-inclusive romance series.

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More Than Words

By: Lily Bryson

How do the ways we communicate with others and the ways we feel impact our romantic connections? The five love languages can be both an excuse for neglect and a tool to strengthen relationships.

First coined by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” the concept of “love languages” has taken hold as a tool to understand you and your romantic partner’s communication styles within the context of a relationship. The five love languages, according to Chapman, are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

In many cases, a person’s love language is the same whether that’s how they express love or prefer to receive it. However, sometimes the love language that best matches the way someone prefers to express love is wholly different from what they enjoy receiving from a partner. Zachary Leclerc, a Millikin University student, indicates that words of affirmation and physical touch resonate as how he prefers to express and receive affection. “The way I like to give out my love is the way I like to receive it,” he says.

However, another student, Griffin Eldridge, prefers to receive and express love differently, saying that they like expressing love through

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words of affirmation but prefer to receive physical touch.

Occasionally, one’s love languages don’t match up with their partner’s. Conscious effort is required to go beyond one’s instincts and remember what your partner needs, and for many people, a partner’s unwillingness to try to match that need is a sign that the relationship might not work.

Leclerc explains, “My ex really liked gifts, and I hate spending money,” huffing a sarcastic laugh.

The disconnect between her expectations of a boyfriend and how expressing affection felt natural for him contributed to the end of the relationship. “She would always be like, ‘Hey, I feel like you don’t do anything for me,’ and I would be like, ‘I’m giving you me,’” Leclerc objects.

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Eldridge, however, said that they and their long-term partner actively work to make sure that the other person’s needs are being met. As someone who prefers receiving physical affection, where their girlfriend prefers receiving words of affirmation, they are careful to not push her limits. “I try to be more aware if she wants to be touched,” Eldridge says, adding, “We’ll hold hands all the time, it’s unspoken, but I still try to be very aware.”

One system can never fully encapsulate the many ways relationships work. However, understanding yourself and what makes you feel most loved is key to being able to find lasting romance, as is making an effort to match your partner’s needs. If you want your partner to love you exactly how you want to be loved, you have to be willing to meet them halfway.

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Finding Love Word Search

Love

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Touch

Quality

Affirmation

Acts

Words

Time

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Advocating for Izzy By: Cristy Proctor

A mother’s love breaks the misconceptions and barriers of Down syndrome, hoping to inspire others to advocate for the rights and dignity of all people.

Down syndrome often carries stigmas, yet it affects millions of people worldwide. It is a complex condition that can impact individuals in many ways, from physical features to cognitive abilities.Yet the beauty and resilience of those with Down syndrome often shine through.

While it can present unique challenges, it is important to understand that individuals with Down syndrome possess a wide range of abilities and experiences.

In the United States, nearly 5,000 babies are born with Down syndrome each year. In 2014, my fourth child, Izzy, joined that statistic.

A diagnosis of Down syndrome can bring along a variety of challenges that differ from those of raising a typical child, and this is our story.

At 38, I gave birth to Izzy, who was very sick. The nurse warned she might never walk, talk, hear or eat independently. For a long time, I secretly wondered if she was right.

Izzy had low muscle tone, which is common in Down syndrome. This 8

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put a significant strain on her weak heart. She needed a feeding tube to hopefully gain enough weight for open-heart surgery. She was four pounds; we needed six more. At two months old, she was in full heart failure and transferred to St. Louis Children’s Hospital. As I handed her to the surgeon, I envisioned myself handing her over to Jesus, since he was the miracle we needed. I kissed her little head and told her this was the first of many hard things in life she will be forced to do, but she can do them.

The first days after surgery were long and scary. Izzy was in a medically induced coma. Two weeks later, she improved, and I held her for the first time postsurgery. On that day, I promised God and Izzy that I would be her voice and support through this journey until I am no longer on this planet. She remained ill for three years, diagnosed with alopecia and interstitial lung disease, frequently admitted to the ICU.

Advocating for her became second nature to me. I am fueled by a love so deeply inside me only a parent would understand. When her IEP needs addressed or medical professionals use outdated materials, I speak up. I cite the Americans with Disabilities Act, which states healthcare providers must provide equal access to services for individuals with disabilities. I file a civil rights complaint when a dentist refuses to treat her, saying, “special people need special places.” I share our story to shed light on the realities of Down syndrome and foster a more inclusive society at Millikin and beyond.

For information on how you can stand UP for Down syndrome, learn more at:

Roommates By Chance, By: Shaina Yumol Friends By Choice Millikin’s random roommate selection is a gamble when it comes to your first year.

Sometimes you meet your worst enemy, but sometimes you meet a friend for life.

Going to college is a life-changing experience, and the next step after high school for most.Various events can make or break that experience, the people being one of them.

In almost any college, first-year students are required to live in one of the campus’s dormitories with an often unfamiliar roommate.

Nicole DeLiberis, the director of Campus Life at Millikin, shares the time-consuming process of the roommate pairings. She manually pulls housing applications, hand-matches people and reads every single request. But random roommate successes are influenced by preconceived notions and the ability to address conflicts. DeLiberis highlights that while 75% of students maintain some contact with their former roommates, conflicts often arise from differences in cleanliness and personal habits. Students must have an open mind and ability to self-reflect to create a successful roommate relationship.

Hunter Danberry and Chase Smith, both exercise science majors, highlight their similar outgoing natures and adaptability that facilitated their roommate relationship. Even the little moments strengthen their bond, which Smith recounts, “One of us will start blasting music in our room and dancing for 10 minutes.”

Their mutual respect and open

communication helped resolve any issues alongside a strong religious connection between the two.

Danberry says, “The foundation of the Lord and Christ has helped our relationship, and that’s a good foundation to have.”

Roommates Emily Grabinski, a theater design and production major, and Addie Auer, a criminal justice and psychology major, bonded over video games and a similar sense of humor.

Despite some initial challenges, their relationship grew stronger, evolving into a sibling-like bond. Grabinski says, “I would consider her as a sister,” and Auer recounts, “We’ve been told we look like it, but we definitely act like it. We do almost everything together, go everywhere together.” Even a random passerby found their behavior amusing at one point. Auer says, “People say we are

a packaged deal, if you find one, you most likely can find the other.”

The success of a roommate match often depends on the willingness of individuals to address disagreements and be open to different perspectives. DeLiberis mentions how external and internal factors influence roommate relationships. She says, “People have differences in what they understand because they were raised a certain way. For example, my version of cleanliness is different from [another person’s].” If individuals don’t specify what those things mean, that can create some dissonance. The key to a successful roommate relationship is understanding personal expectations and accommodating differences.

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WHY

SPECTRUM By: Rochelle Pense

Millikin has a large LGBTQ+ presence on campus, but only two campus organizations provide assistance to queer students. Spectrum strictly focuses on supporting members of the LGTBQ+ community and their allies.

Millikin is known for being an accepting campus, especially for students who identify with the LGBTQ+ community.

Currently, the two campus organizations that spend their funds supporting queer students are Millikin CARE and Spectrum. The difference between the two is that Millikin CARE focuses on various marginalized groups while spectrum focuses solely on the LGBTQ+ community.

However, not many people know what Spectrum does or why people join.

Spectrum puts on big events like the National Coming Out Day Panel and Drag Shows, but the group is more than just that; it’s a safe space for queer individuals to come together and talk about life. Members can share their struggles and all of their highs and lows as an individual, not as someone who’s queer but as a human being.

One member of Spectrum, who would like to remain anonymous, says, “I felt like [joining Spectrum] would be a good community experience with my fellow Millikin students. Also, I didn’t have anything like this at my high school,

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but it didn’t really matter — I’m pretty sure like 30% of the student body was some form of LGBTQ+ — we all found each other anyway.” This is a sentiment many students can relate to.

I came from a very conservative small town that wasn’t the friendliest to queer individuals, but we didn’t let that stop us from being who we are.

Another Spectrum member says that they “had a lot of LGBTQ+ friends back in high school, so getting to know Spectrum seemed right, natural.”

A common misconception about the group is that it’s only for individuals who identify with the LGBTQ+, but that is not true. McKenzie Boren, who identifies as straight, wanted to join the group because she has “a lot of friends [at Millikin] that are gay, lesbian and bisexual,” and she just wanted to show that she supports them.

The moral of the story is that you don’t need to be a part of a specific community to support one another.

We’re all different; that’s what makes us unique. We should all be supportive of each other's uniqueness.

Finding My Calling

MILLITHOUGHTS

By: Reed Pierson

As a freshman, joining a sorority can feel daunting, but sometimes taking a leap of faith can help students find their calling in life.

I came to Millikin not knowing if sorority life was for me but also wanting to join one at the same time. That decision was unbelievably difficult. After months of going back and forth, I decided to go through recruitment. Little did I know that this would change my life, allow me to fall in love with a philanthropy, assist with my academics and help me find my calling.

I decided to join Alpha Chi Omega in the spring semester of 2022. I fell in love with their philanthropy, which is domestic violence awareness. Knowing that the organization does two fundraisers throughout the year and is the only Panhellenic Council chapter at Millikin University that raises money for non-profits in Decatur influenced my decision during recruitment. Their work also correlates with my major in human services, which was a bonus for me.

After three years at Millikin, I entered my senior year, which also meant it was time to pick a place to do my internship. Because Alpha Chi Omega raises money for Dove Inc. in the fall and the Growing Strong Sexual Assault Center in the spring, I decided to intern with Growing Strong. Some of the work at Growing Strong involves going into schools and educating students of all ages about safe touch, providing free counseling services and having legal and medical personnel so that survivors are not going through the legal process alone.

Growing Strong Sexual Assault Center offers a free and confidential hotline 24/7 at (217) 428-0770. Their website, growingstrongcenter.org, also provides information on steps to take after experiencing sexual violence.

When I talked to some of the staff at Growing Strong Sexual Assault Center about what they love about their job, some of the things they said were about seeing people bring joy back into their lives and seeing them grow as people. Much like the staff at Growing Strong, I plan to be a medical social worker after graduate school and help people who have gone through hard times. Participating in this internship has shown me first-hand how Alpha Chi Omega’s hard work in raising money benefits the community and applies to my calling.

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The Love Within Me By: A’Majeine Carson (AC)

There isn’t a right or a wrong way to show your love for someone, yet we’re all trying to figure out how to do it “right.”

Love in our society has taken so many shapes; people have many definitions and ideas of what it is and is not. Even with all of these definitions, it has taken people decades to figure out love.

In all that time, love is still one thing that we can’t seem to share a definition of. No matter the lengths we seem to go, the roads we cross or the risks we take, love is a mystery. How would we perceive love if there were no movies, shows, cartoons, fairy tales or historical legends that told us what love was?

How would we outpour that love to others? Would it still be as magical, enchanting, dreamy or risk-taking as many believe? Or is it that we simply can’t describe love at all?

Many people share their love differently. The most common ones being physical touch, gift giving or simply saying the words “I love you.” One might also say emotional intimacy, making your words match your actions, lending a helping hand, encouraging someone, being trustworthy or simply kind are ways to share love.

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The love within me for others, whether romantic, familial, friendship-wise or business-wise, is heavy. There are various ways I share my love with others.

Communicate Intentionally Honestly, words hurt. And as the saying goes, “Words have power.”

But I don’t know if people truly believe that. Even though some may not show it, deep down those words are constantly ringing through their heads. What I say and the way I say it is how I show my love for someone.

Take Action

Love is actions. For me, that means texting or calling the people I love. Reaching out could change someone’s day. When someone is having a tough time, I listen to them when they are speaking because sometimes all people want is someone to listen. Gift-giving can oftentimes be difficult or pricey.

However, a free and simple gift is a hug and a smile. If I don’t have a gift, a hug is one I will give out willingly.

Walk in Peace Be Encouraging & Reliable Show Up Another way I spread love is by encouraging and giving people an extra boost when they might need it. I try not to make those that I’m close to — or even acquaintances — believe that I’m doing anything else than what is present. I try to be a person who sticks to their word. If I can’t live up to it at the moment, I apologize and vow to myself to do better next time.

Be Truthful Always tell the truth, even if the person may not like it. Don’t sugarcoat things but don’t be mean either. In many cases, not telling the truth does more damage than holding it in. Observe the situation and moment before saying anything that can be taken out of proportion. I also try to be mindful and understand that every person is going through something.

I try to be there for people when I can, whether that be with an event, game night, lunch or an accomplishment. Even staying with someone on a comfy night in makes a difference. I always spread information regarding my friends and loved ones’s events. I’ve personally been trying to get out of the habit of thinking, “Next time, I’ll go.” That time may never come again. I do my best to be present. Being there physically, emotionally and spiritually for someone is one of the best ways to spread love.

Walk around as someone who brings light and laughter to a room, not the one who brings negativity.

I pray for others, just as well as myself. I understand that I’m not perfect and that it’s okay to mess up sometimes, and that allows me to grant grace to others. Understanding that, while I’m here today and still have breath in my body, I need to leave a legacy filled with hope. So when I leave, I can truly show others the love within me.

“Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever.”

-Audre Lorde

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LEVELING UP

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By: Anna Quick Video games are often seen as a waste of time, but from my experience, video games have continuously changed my life for the better.

Video games often represent unique things to different people. Some may define them as a hobby, a way to convey a story, a medium to bring people together, a method of teaching or a complete waste of time. But video games don’t have one definition; they’re all of those and some more.

I can vividly remember my mother handing me my first Nintendo DS. She had just returned to the car from BestBuy, presenting it to me only when I begged her to open it. From then on, that DS sprouted my love for gaming.

Over the years, I’ve collected my fair share of gaming consoles: a DSi, DSi XL, 3D DS and Wii. As I got older, my mother bought our family an Xbox 360. At first, all I did was watch movies. When I became increasingly bored, I started playing video games on it. Eventually, my mother brought home a copy of “Red Dead Redemption,” and my sister and I were hooked.

Playing “Red Dead Redemption” was my first experience with openworld gaming, which allows players to make their own choices to obtain a goal, with such a strong narrative.

In the game, you play as John Marston, an outlaw handing over his 14

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ex-gang members to police so he can return to his family. At the end of the game, Marston returns to his family, but instead of living happily ever after, he dies. This devastated me when I first played it since I had been so invested in his story and couldn’t save him. I played Martson as myself, so he was part of me.

Video games can convey a message and evoke emotion; they aren’t just devices to pass the time.

They’ve helped me escape reality but also have the potential to teach me valuable lessons and influence my emotions.

Near the end of middle school, the Nintendo Switch was released.

My whole family was enamored with the device. My mother, a single mother of three working at a bar, vowed to save her tips so she could buy it for Christmas. She worked double shift after double shift, and on Christmas Day, we got our Nintendo Switch with “Mario Odyssey” and “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.”

The Switch did wonders for my family. Not only did it distract me and my siblings so my mother could take a break, but it brought us all together. We didn’t always use the Switch together, but we were

playing the same games. Since we had something in common, we never ran out of conversation topics. We’d ask each other, “Where are you in Zelda? Where are you in Mario?”

The Switch provided us with positive conversation topics even when life wasn’t amazing.

Through thoughtful storytelling, video games have contributed to my happiness. They’ve brought my family together, provided a muchneeded escape from hardships and taught me many valuable life lessons.

Beyond graphics on a screen, they’re hobbies, lessons, bonds and a waste of time.Video games are what you make of them.

There’s no easy answer to what romantic love feels like, and that’s just the first hurdle in discovering aromanticism.

What is love? If you ask the internet for a definition, it gives you two answers: a) “an intense feeling of deep affection” or b) “a great interest and pleasure in doing something.” When these definitions are applied to relationships, both make it hard to figure out what type of love you’re experiencing. When you enjoy someone or something, there’s almost always a warm feeling clenching in your chest. But does that chest-clenching mean you love a person? Does it mean that, if you feel it around specific people, you love them romantically? Or do you just enjoy their company as friends?

Does liking someone’s company mean you love them?

I first experienced these questions in middle school, when I saw my peers and my friends tell me about their love lives, the people they had crushes on and what they liked about them. However, none of them actually shared how they knew that they liked these people as more than friends. I couldn’t understand. So, I forced myself to like a boy. I tried to like him because we had similar interests at the time. I convinced myself to like him because I didn’t want to be left out anymore.

And then he confessed he liked one of my friends, and I was hurt. I had spent so much time building up this fantasy without letting anyone else

By: Isabella Blohm

know that I ended up believing it and hurting myself in the process.

In a society where it’s easier for people to be loud and proud about their sexual and romantic orientations, more questions pile in the “identity” bank. Am I attracted to this woman because I could appreciate her pose, outfit or aesthetic? Am I attracted to this man because he looks good in the photo and has really swoopy-looking hair? Am I just attracted to these traits because they’re what our society has deemed attractive? Am I actually attracted to these traits at all, or am I forcing myself to feel these things? These are just some of the questions I’ve asked myself throughout my life as I learned more about the identities that fall under the LGBTQ+ rainbow umbrella, one being aromanticism. Aromanticism doesn’t follow the conventional societal expectations of romance, mainly due to a spectrum of little to no romantic attraction.

When I tried to tell people of these experiences, most of what I got was a “You’ll find someone someday.” Those words left me feeling unsure of myself. Only when I grew into who I am today could I brush off their words. Sometimes, you just have to let yourself grow into your understanding of your body and feelings, and reaffirm if you’re unsure.

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Drowning in Lake Decatur Everyone has their place they can go and destress, and mine is Lake Decatur. Every Sunday, I drown my worries there.

Lake Decatur is a perfect place to sit and drink in the feeling of the city. So that’s what I do on Sundays. I park my car, walk down the pier and drown myself in Lake Decatur.

This wasn’t the first time I had fallen in. On most visits, I stay in my car, listen to music, eat breakfast and allow myself to think. I think about the past week and the week ahead, but I also think about the people who happen to walk past my car that morning. I remind myself that they’ve probably drowned themselves in this lake at least 10 times over. They probably know this city more than I do.

I knew, from the day I moved onto campus, that there would be a day when I packed up my things and wouldn’t return. So, I also knew I had to make the most of my time here.

To fully immerse yourself in a space is a challenging task. The four years I’ve been in Decatur attending college will likely be my longest time here. I’ve spent more time in this town than the time I have left to spend here. So, every Sunday, I drown myself in that lake.

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The fish at the bottom start to look familiar. I recognize a few and wave hello. We have our own routine, completely parallel to each other.

I will never know this town the way people who have grown up here do, and I will never know this town the way people who live here long term eventually do. I will only know the tiny slice that I got to be a part of.

As I get ready to leave the lake, I try to figure out if there’s a way I can take a small piece of it with me

By: Tabitha Barowsky

as a keepsake of my time in Decatur.

Perhaps I could put some sand and water in a bottle, but it serves a better purpose where it currently resides. If everyone did that, there’d be no sand or water left, and the students who visit the lake after me wouldn’t get to see its beauty. I’d have the reminder, but the place it reminds me of wouldn’t be the same.

As I sink to the bottom on my final swim, I’ll say goodbye to the fish that won’t miss me and let the current pull me away one last time.

I’ll watch as someone new jumps in.

Photos by Max Macke

Love Story

By Colby Wygal

For years, music has been my outlet to be completely, unapologetically vulnerable. In creating my latest album, “Colby <3,” I’ve discovered more than I could have ever imagined about myself.

A Story About Love

A Story About Loss

Spanning 19 songs, 56 minutes and three years of work, “Colby <3” started as a love story with my four-year-long high school crush. Her brutal rejection caused me to create the tracks “Love Is in the Smog” and “GORE,” which were spiteful and dejected anthems expressing my frustration with love.Yet, she changed her mind a few days later.

It was an immediate switch for me, much like the tonal shift between “GORE” and the optimistic sound of “You.” These songs are deeply jarring and concerning from an outside perspective, but I was recklessly in love.

We broke up after less than two months of dating. I was never ready for love. In hindsight, it was an unhealthy relationship that wasn’t meant to be, but in the moment, it was the end of my world.

The second half of “Colby <3” covers my grief during the breakup — a year-long, painful process. I wrote emotional tracks filled with depression and self-loathing while I bargained with her, begging for a second chance. The longer this went on, the more resentful she became.

A Story About Lust She was the first person I came out to. After years of being stifled by internalized homophobia, this was the beginning of accepting myself.

She welcomed my darkest sides.

Lust made me look past every flaw in her. From the day that I met her, she was a narcissist, liar and manipulator, but it was so alluring.

I wrote “Break Me” while we were still together. It was nearly cut from the tracklist in almost every revision.

To this day, it’s one of my most daring musical experiments.

A Story About Hate Two weeks after the breakup, I discovered she had cheated on me.

Nothing could have prepared me for the mental torment that followed.

She lashed out, called me paranoid and said I was a terrible partner.

In my fragile state, I backed down, believing every word.

I didn’t think I would live to see the album completed when I wrote “Noose Silhouette,” a tortured culmination of every selfdestructive thought and action I had committed — my most intense song. As I grew more desperate and emotionally unstable, I began to pick apart every flaw in our

relationship. Then, I started writing “C0NV3R510N TH3R4PY,” a dense mosaic of agonized screams and heavy guitar riffs. It is perhaps too raw and disturbing to share with the world due to its volatile nature.

Ultimately, I kept it as a testament to the darkest depths of my soul. This album is not always a good look for me; it’s not pretty.

“But I grew into a better person. That, to me, is beautiful.”

A Story About Transition Accepting my identity as a transgender woman was one of the most uncertain points of my life, blossoming at an inconvenient time for my music. After recording all the vocals for my album and settling into college with he/him pronouns, I released my first single, “Mr. Nobody,” with a repeating chorus stating, “I just want to be your boyfriend.” Beyond this, “Colby <3” was rooted in masculinity.

The song “He/She” is a combination of two tracks. The first part, “He,” discusses my anxiety and frustration with the homophobia I faced from my community as

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a closeted bisexual man. The second part, “She,” was written after as an addendum to expose my experiences with transphobia.

Similar additions were made to other tracks to help keep the album relevant to my current life experiences, but nothing could fully hide the fact that I was a different person.

My plan to fix these looming issues started with a rebrand. The phrase “benevolent sin,” came to me in a dream. I didn’t know what it meant at first, but it became a perfect label for my music. I’ve committed and experienced plenty of unsavory and ill-advised acts, hence “sin.” However, I make art to better myself and hopefully better the world, hence “benevolent.”

Despite all the work that I had done, I still felt uncertain about everything on the album. The album would no longer be a representation of my current self. Instead, it was a story — a story about love, lust, loss, hate, transition and genesis — a story about all the suffering and growth involved in creating who I am today.

A Story About Genesis The album ends with me dying.

Colby — the person I believed I was for 18 years — was dead and gone.

I was a new person who started living for myself. “Colby <3” released on all platforms in June 2024 under “Benevolent Sin.” In that time, I discovered myself and reflected that in my work. To this day, this is the greatest story I’ve told. This is a story about the person I am today.

This is a story about Colby.

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“It was a story — a story about love, lust, loss, hate, transition and genesis — a story about all the suffering and growth involved in creating who I am today. ”

FEATURES

with Positivity By: Kerrigan Dunham

Led with Kerrigan Dunham’s expertise, Millikin’s Balloon Club encourages students to pop the Milli-Bubble and show children with the wonder of balloon animal creation.

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Can a Barista Guess Your Order?

If you’ve seen balloon animals floating around campus recently, there’s a likely source. Millikin’s premier organization, Balloon Club, brings life to latex balloons on Friday afternoons in Staley Library.

The group meets weekly to learn and build new balloon creations, through much trial-and-error. Becca Carter, a freshman graphic design major, believes the weekly meetings provide a great amount of support during her first semester here and that they “[serve] as a milestone.

It’s that thing at the end of the week, same time, very consistent.

It’s kind of like a marker … I’ve made it through another week; time to go to Balloon Club [and] learn to make something new.” It can often take many attempts to successfully complete a design, but balloon bursts are reinforced with encouragement to start back up again and give it one more go.

As founder of the club, my background with balloon animals goes back seven years, to the firstever Balloon Club in recorded time — that we know of. In a dingy classroom at seven in the morning, Ryan Wheaton, a mathematics and statistics teacher, led a group of

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Addy Ficek, a member of Balloon Club, says, “Balloon Club has given me so much more confidence in myself.” high school students step-by-step through creating a balloon dog. One of those students was me, and I fell in love with the art of balloon twisting, the feeling of giving meaning and life to something so mundane.

This feeling is enhanced tenfold when you twist up a balloon animal for someone right in front of them, which I started to experience as I attended my first fairs, parades and community events. There is no comparable feeling to creating a balloon for a young child with nothing but glee and excitement in their eyes and handing it to them while they jump for joy; it touches you in a way that you would never expect and always fills me with love and compassion.

I continued to partake in and develop my balloon craft through high school and college.

When the time came to begin my honors capstone project, I thought a balloon club would be the perfect opportunity to establish an organization dedicated to what gave me so much inspiration as a young artist. Dr. Melissa Scircle, a psychology professor and my advisor for the capstone, expressed how happy she is to be aiding and assisting with this project. Scircle finds this particular capstone exciting because “we don’t get to play enough in college, as adults we don’t get to play enough, and so they get to walk into a classroom full of people playing and helping each other; I think it’s really cool,” she says.

The club goes beyond these simple gatherings; members also share their balloon art skills with the local community. In September 2024,

the Balloon Club was able to attend the Decatur Area Art Council’s Arts in the Park event, where they made balloons for over three hundred attendees. The following month, the club attended Scovill Zoo’s Boo at the Zoo event, spreading joy to countless children and adults alike.

Addy Ficek, a freshman chemistry major who attended Arts in the Park, says that she “didn’t realize [she] could have that effect on people and something so small could have that big of an effect on people … the second-hand happiness made [her] happy.”

My capstone project has proven that balloon animals have an unrivaled ability to brighten people’s days and cause a genuine increase in their happiness levels, especially for an object that appears quite simple in nature. With this, the project has a research study component centered on the psychology of happiness. We ask parents to scan an anonymous form and rate their child’s perceived levels of happiness before and after they receive their balloon. In addition to ranking their happiness, we also give them a space for a short response to record any noteworthy behaviors they exhibit. Thanks to the feedback we get, we can analyze the effect balloons can have on an individual’s happiness levels. The data has shown overwhelming evidence for the positive effects of balloon animals on the happiness of children, with parents reporting “big smiles, excitement [and] jumping for joy” as some of their key observations.

This project is one of the most fulfilling and life-affirming projects I have ever worked on, It has given me such joyful experiences with children and adults in the

Decatur community. I am incredibly appreciative of all the students who aid and partake in the club, for they are contributing to an art form that touches and improves the lives of so many. In conversation, Dr. Scircle mentioned to me that “Millikin has a history of connecting with the community in some way, shape or form, and this is continuing that but also in this kind of unique way.” This capstone and club is a highlight of my time here at Millikin, and I will continue to employ this craft as I continue in life as an artist. I hope my love for balloon twisting affects others and inspires them to carry it on into the future of this university.

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Commitment & Commanding By: Anna Quick

Millikin is littered with various organizations. Being a leader on campus takes hard work and an endless amount of love for an organization.

Gregory Members Photo by Katie Kocan

Millikin’s campus has numerous student organizations, and each have one thing in common: students run them. Taking on a leadership position in one of these organizations is a time commitment but a rewarding one. Students must take time out of their schedule to lead these groups, regardless of how large or small the commitment is.

When students arrive at Millikin, they are quickly exposed to student organizations. During Welcome Week, the Office of Campus Life 22

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hosts an Involvement Fair, where bright-eyed new students have the opportunity to roam around the UC Banquet Halls and explore the different kinds of groups Millikin offers. From dance groups that put on semesterly performances to the campus publications, Millikin showcases a variety of organizations.

The love within these organizations is strong. When senior Itzel Garcia was a freshman, she attended the Involvement Fair and was introduced to the Latin

American Student Organization (LASO). Garcia says that LASO “made [her] feel [at] home.” As a general member watching the current LASO executive board gear up to graduate, Garcia quickly realized she needed to step up and join the executive board. In her time in LASO, Garcia has been the secretary and currently holds the title of vice president. Garcia was scared that “first-generation Latin people [wouldn’t] have a safe space,” so she became one of those people

“It is not about the product, it’s about the process.”

-Eva Taub

to help grow and harbor a safe space for other Millikin students.

The different organizations on Millikin’s campus are all loved and cherished by their members for an abundance of reasons. Gregory is Millikin’s tap dancing group, and the 2024 head choreographer, Eva Taub, has been involved with Gregory for most of her college career. Every semester, Gregory performs a show they spend the whole semester practicing for. Taub explains that for the members of Gregory, the

show being perfect isn’t their main goal. She says, “it is not about the product, it’s about the process.” It is not only the performance aspect of the group that they love but also the opportunity to grow in the organization.

For the Physical Graffiti co-presidents Tanner Essex and Francesca Zaccor, their love for the group is shown through their hard work and dedication. Zaccor says that “when you love [an organization], it is easy to prioritize.”

Physical Graffiti is Millikin’s hiphop dance group that performs a show every semester. Essex and Zaccor choose the theme, storyline, costumes and choreograph for the fall 2024 show. But they are not solely in charge of everything; they have a whole executive team backing them. Essex says he and Zaccor “are not in charge of anyone. [They] are just here to be the liaison between all of these people who are in this group that they love and the people who can make things actually BURST

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happen.” Although this sounds as if the co-presidents don’t do much, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Essex and Zaccor delegate but are still involved with much of the creative process.

College students often face burnout throughout the semester, and these organizations can be an escape from stressors, but sometimes it can be part of the reason a student is burnt out. For Zaccor, being a student in the School of Theatre and Dance and co-president of a dance group leaves her exhausted. However, when she begins to experience burnout, she has a tactic for fighting the dreaded feeling. She looks “back at little me and she would be crying and be so excited for what I’m doing now.”

Essex also has a way of combating burnout. For him, he says he has to kept “the mindset of ‘you love this and you represent this group, so you have to just buck up and do it.’”

Not only does perseverance help fight burnout but so does time management. Garcia and Taub are both in charge of specific tasks within their organizations.

So taking time out of their day to either delegate or complete tasks is imperative. Taub says that her duties consist of “[choreographing] dances, [teaching] those dances, and then [letting] them get performed.”

Her job often stretches out throughout the semester. Similar to Taub, Garcia does many tasks throughout the semester; however, she has been struggling with getting other executive members to follow through with their own duties. On top of all of her responsibilities as

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vice president, Garcia has had to motivate the officers under her to stay on top of their work. She says that the workload isn’t too much on her plate, but “it’s definitely stressful because sometimes people lack communication.”

Organizations like LASO, Physical Graffiti and Gregory are what keep Millikin students so engaged and excited around campus.

Although it is not always easy to be a part of these groups or lead them, it is what many students love most about Millikin. The love for these organizations keeps campus life alive and happy.

Physical Graffiti Members Photo by Katie Kocan

Hungry for Change: Gen Z’s Plant-Based Revolution Plant-based diets have garnered popularity with Generation Z, despite cost and accessibility. However, the benefits of changing your diet, such as environmental impacts and personal health, outweigh those struggles.

By: Eden Niebrugge

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What’s that diet?

Vegan: food or other products derived from animals are not consumed or used. Depending on the person, this can include honey, eggs, dairy, leather and more.

Vegetarian: does not eat meat or fish but does consume other animal products.

Pescatarian: follows a vegetarian diet but does consume fish.

Plant-based: consists “largely or solely of vegetables, grains, pulses, or other foods derived from plants, rather than animal products.”

(Definitions are from Oxford Languages)

Known for their thirst for change, Generation Z is opening the doors to plant-based diets in their everyday lives to the point of forcing large corporations to change their products. But what about this diet is so appealing to Generation Z? Picture the common college student: broke from loan payments, exhausted all the time and frequenting fast food places. Now picture the expected plant-based diet: overpriced, inaccessible to most and lacking nutrients. So why are college students eating plant-based?

According to Aramark, the largest U.S. food service provider, college students are calling for more plant-based options, meaning that nearly half of Aramark’s dining menu options will be plant-based by 2025. In Leah Thomas’ book “The Intersectional Environmentalist,” she reports a 600% increase in people identifying as vegan from 2014–2017.

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is no longer a trendy individual choice, but a movement that could impact everyone.

Prices are a major concern and also a major misconception with consuming a mostly plant-based diet.

While meat and plant-based food prices vary around the world, a 2015 Journal of Hunger and Environmental Nutrition study found that “a plantbased diet … would save the average consumer on a 2000-calorie diet nearly $750 per year.” Over four years, that’s $3,000 saved.

Leah Flint, a two-year pescatarian and musical theater student at Millikin University, says, “When I started buying groceries, I was already pescatarian.” For her, the price difference isn’t exactly an issue because she can’t compare what a diet with meat would be like in the first place. Most college students are the same, buying groceries for the first time and discovering how overpriced food can be, particularly meat.

While some organizations and media highlight the inaccessible cost of plant-based diets, the reality is that they can be cheaper if you know how to budget, which most college students are accustomed to. A 16-ounce pack of organic tofu, a soy alternative to meat, is around $2. On the other hand, organic ground beef can cost up to $9 at the same store for the same amount. Other protein

alternatives are even cheaper, such as canned chickpeas and beans.

Prices can get high when big corporations act as if meat alternatives should look and taste like meat, such as Impossible Burgers or Beyond Chicken, but Flint is aware that a plant-based diet is more than just not eating meat. She sees it as a way to take care of herself, saying that meat made her feel like she “had a rock in [her] gut all the time.” Instead of buying high-soy products that imitate meat, she focuses more on “creating a protein meal without using a fake meat product.”

While Flint cooks “80% of the time,” she also acknowledges that many restaurants and food chains already have plant-based meals. She discusses primarily non-American restaurants, such as Mexican and Asian cuisines with vegetarian or pescatarian options ingrained in their culture. Alongside eating out, lots of students also crave caffeine daily. An easy solution is swapping out dairy for plant-based milk, such as oat or almond milk.

Flint’s biggest issue with becoming a pescatarian has been going home over breaks. Even then, she’s found some common ground with her family. “It’s more difficult eating vegetarian stuff when I’m home because my entire family isn’t pescatarian,” she says. “My mom has

been very nice to incorporate meals that I can eat.”

Unlike Flint, Kaia Garbacz, a nursing student at Millikin, has a family who raised her and her sister to be vegetarian, as meat intolerances were present in both parents. Garbacz says, “It is essential that I buy my own foods sometimes because eating enough protein is a challenge.” When she does eat at the campus cafeteria or out at restaurants, she gravitates to more “carb-based foods.”

Flint and Garbacz aren’t collegelevel athletes. They don’t need to measure their calories or body fat for a sport. A plant-based diet may appear impossible for an athlete, which is not true at all. A 2021 Berkeley article about the benefits of plant-based diets in athletic performance highlights several studies that show “plant-based diets can help athletes improve their performance by decreasing weight, creating leaner bodies and improving stamina.” The study highlights that “eating one gram of red meat will have a greater percentage of fat, and thus contain more than twice as many calories than if you ate one gram of vegetables,” meaning an athlete should consume more food on a plant-based diet. To enhance endurance, athletes must also consume complex carbohydrates like grains, fruits and starchy vegetables.

But why change your diet?

Originally starting out eating plant-based because of the influence of two vegetarian friends, Flint now sees her refusal to eat meat as a political movement because she’s “someone who cares about the environment.” More specifically, her main concerns lie with “ethics, environment and animal safety.”

Cows raised for the meat industry experience horrific living conditions, often taken from their mothers at birth, forced-fed certain foods and shipped off to be slaughtered before they’re even an adult age.

While the animal cruelty behind the dairy and meat industries has become more apparent, water usage is another major factor in meat production. A 2022 review by the Rhetoric of Health and Medicine at the University of Florida estimates that water usage is down in vegan diets by 3,900 gallons per day compared to non-vegan diets. The review says, “Over a year’s time, this is 1,533,000 gallons of water for a meat-eater versus 109,500 gallons of water for a vegan.” Overpopulation already causes water scarcity in many parts of the world, harming the planet’s biodiversity and ecosystems alongside human livelihoods. Eating vegan, or mostly plant-based, is a solution.

Another major concern is with CO2 emissions, largely caused by

the agriculture industry, particularly cows. Thomas explains that a “2019 report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change found that both agriculture and forestry have contributed almost a quarter of global greenhouse gas emissions.”

Because of the space required to raise cattle and livestock, forests are being destroyed for this business.

To prevent the same issue from happening with plant-based fields, people could buy local produce at farmer’s markets.

If going completely plant-based isn’t for you, Thomas’ sources also state that “participating in Meatless Mondays (no meat for one day a week) can reduce an individual’s carbon footprint by 7.5 pounds of CO2.” Or you can think of meat as more of a side dish than the main meal. If you’re already abstaining from eating meat and dairy, your carbon footprint has already been reduced up to 73%.

In the U.S., plant-based dieters have a certain image, despite the real historical and cultural values of plant-based diets in other countries.

America’s Western perspective often portrays white people as vegans, vegetarians or plant-based consumers. If you don’t believe it, go to Instagram and find vegan influencers.

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rich, white person is entirely wrong, especially when cultures have plant-based diets deeply rooted in their foods. According to Thomas, India’s vegetarianism predates the climate crisis, with records showing that it’s an ancient food tradition.

Similarly, Thomas lists 11 countries that have the most vegetarians overall per capita, showing that the United States is in 10th place at 5–8% while India is first at

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31–42%. As much as the media likes to portray a certain person as plant-based, every culture has a replacement for meat in at least one meal.

Despite this showing how non-American plant-based diets are, you can use this information to find nearby food options that aren’t fully meat-based. Much like how Flint gravitates to certain cuisines when eating out, countries in the top five (India, Mexico, Brazil, Taiwan and Switzerland) will also have restaurants with vegetarian options, making it easier to eat

out and appreciate foods that have vegetarianism rooted in their culture.

Whether the diet is fully vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian or only sometimes plant-based, the results are the same: a safe and healthier planet for everyone. No matter the reason you might choose to eat more plants and less meat, plant-based diets are saving the environment.

PUPPY LOVE AND PLAYING By: HOUSE Lily Bryson

Queer teenagers and young adults are deprived the chance to experiment with crushes and flings because of the heteronormative societal expectations for committed relationships.

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In junior high and high school, I watched as boys and girls held hands in the hallways, kissed at school dances and even threw elaborate promposals in the cafeteria. They engaged in courtship rituals publicly without fear of judgment, beyond getting in trouble for PDA or being too young to date.

This doesn’t typically parallel the experiences of LGBTQ+ teenagers. Whether due to the threat of homophobia, a nonexistent dating pool or simply because they haven’t figured themselves out yet, many queer youths don’t have the opportunity to experiment in the same way their cisgender, straight counterparts do.

Often, college is the first time LGBTQ+ young adults are able to have those initial experiences. That self-discovery can feel like playing catch-up when other students are already dating seriously, even getting engaged or married. Three Millikin students who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community agree. Their experiences with dating before and during college and how broad the spectrum of queer experience is when it comes to love is a brokenrecord story for many other young adults. To protect their safety, all students will remain anonymous.

E, a 21-year-old queer youth, describes her gender identity as “Genderqueer,” going on to say it’s “the best term for other people to

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explain it, but I also think it’s beyond personal experience in a way words can’t describe.” E uses both they/ them and she/her pronouns but prefers they.

J, a 22-year-old who uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, says, “I identify as both male and nonbinary.”

J identifies as gay, repeating the word several times for good measure when asked about their sexuality.

S, another 21 year old, identifies as bisexual and uses she/they pronouns interchangeably. S says, “I identify with genderqueer and genderfluid, but also with female and woman” when asked about her gender identity. S elaborates, “I think for me the whole point of using multiple pronouns isn’t to say that I’m somewhere in between, it’s to say that I’m 100% both.”

The journey toward being openly queer looks different for everyone, particularly depending on the attitudes of different communities. All three students are “out,” or openly identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community to varying degrees. S says, “I am 100% out on this campus and in my immediate

family at home as of more recently.

I’m out as bisexual but not as genderqueer at all outside of campus other than a couple of my sisters, and to my extended family I am not out in any manner.”

Even if a person is out, that doesn’t guarantee that a queer teenager can experience the same things as their straight counterparts.

Prior to college, all three students experienced romantic relationships in various forms; however, there was an undercurrent of loneliness in the way each of them spoke about the experience. When asked about high school, J says, “I think a lot of what

I have found now as an adult that I missed revolves around formative experiences, like having my first kiss that meant something for who I was didn’t happen for me until I was 19.

All of those formative things about figuring out myself happened, but the ones that involved other people didn’t happen.”

J and E both mention the scarcity of other queer people as a factor that impacted their dating experience. E says, “It got to the point where you found the queer person you liked who also liked you, and you held onto that because you didn’t have many other options.”

The allure of playing into the cishet ideal also affected S’s high school experience. S says, “I did find myself, like a lot of queer high school girls do, seeking validation from those heteronormative relationships,” in part because open queerness was stigmatized.

S recalls, “At my high school, a girl couldn’t bring a girlfriend to the senior prom or hold hands with a girl in the hallway without some serious looks.”

While none have dated extensively at Millikin, they each have clear visions of what they want after graduation, all of which included being in a long-term relationship.

E, who has a long-term boyfriend, says that their goals for the future included “finding the balance of career and relationship.” E continues, “I want to put my goals and dreams first, and the right relationship will be successful because I put those things first; putting them on the back burner for another person means there’s something else wrong in the relationship.” Similarly to E, J says, “I see myself married … I definitely see myself being with one person

for a very long time and digging for that person, not just for, like, the experience of dating.”

S had a different perspective than J when it came to marriage. She says, “I do not see myself being the type of person to ever get married.

To me, a long-term partner is very different from a marriage partner.

I think when people get married, they become more committed to commitment than each other.” Her ideal relationship would be with someone “who truly respects my independence and freedom above themselves.”

When asked about what a healthy relationship looks like to them, all three students had strikingly similar visions. E believes a healthy relationship includes “the ability to be your own functioning person and wanting to share your individually functioning life with another person, in communication and shared activities,” honoring each person’s independence even as their lives blend.

J says, “I think, in the queer world, putting the label of exclusivity can be scary, but I think it’s important, at least to me, being there to celebrate each other, wins and losses, and … being able to give of yourself without an expectation of return, to an extent.”

Unfortunately, S confesses that she’s never been in a “serious healthy adult relationship,” but she believes

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“good communication and honesty where people challenge each other … to grow together.”

Additional space to observe other relationships starting and ending without directly participating can make all the difference to maintaining a healthy relationship, much of which queer youth don’t have available in high school. Now that they’re in college, E, J and

S can work on forming healthy relationships with the provided freedom of expressing their gender and sexual identities.

However, there’s still that looming loneliness in queer teens, where a lack of experiences with dating — let alone with healthy dating — cause queer youth to learn about themselves and their partners later in life. The dream of what a

healthy queer relationship looks like can be out of line with reality, but a focus on bettering oneself and a consideration for their partner can help create that sought-after, queer relationship.

“... a focus on bettering oneself and a consideration for their partner can help create that sought-after, queer relationship.”

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Second Family: Siblinghood By: Shaina Yumol

Photos by Max Macke

Greek life is controversial for college students; either you love it or you’re completely against it. Despite this, Millikin’s Greek life organizations have provided their members with a community and personal growth opportunities.

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People often find their forever home by joining Greek life and creating close relationships with other members during their time together.

At Millikin, Greek organizations are smaller in membership size due to the college’s enrollment; however, the support systems and growth opportunities are there nonetheless.

Delta Delta Delta’s (Tri Delta) VP Community Relations Eva Taub and Chapter President Ella Curtis from the Delta Epsilon chapter speak on the importance of being each other’s cheerleaders and support systems, especially in times of need. Their chapter’s bond is so strong that national executives commented on it, according to Curtis. “I always knew we had a strong bond, but realizing how privileged that bond is to have with your siblings is really special,” Curtis says.

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each other’s differences in a shared community promotes inclusion.

Tanner Buehnerkemper, treasurer of Tau Kappa Epsilon’s (TKE) Beta chapter, feels similarly; for him, having a brother means sharing “their wisdom, experiences and everything they’ve gone through.”

Ella Bianchi, a member of the Delta Sigma Phi’s (Delta Sig) Alpha Lambda chapter, says that siblinghood to them is keeping a close bond, communicating often and taking accountability. “Because we are such a small chapter, we have to work harder to keep our friendships and create healthy relationships with each other. But in the end, what makes it so fun to be a part of a small chapter is that you kind of know everything about everyone, like a double-edged sword. It can be really good or bad, but we — for the most part — make it a good thing,” Bianchi says.

As for the Illinois Eta chapter of Pi Beta Phi (Pi Phi), Chapter

President Eliz Hulick emphasizes the feeling of having a second family and building character in Greek life.

She says, “Watching a community of people come together to uplift each other and really bring out our best selves has been a really awesome thing.” VP Membership Experience Mary Evelyn King adds that their chapter “definitely feels like a family.”

These organizations can become a significant part of one’s identity to the point where they bicker like real siblings, but members try not to let it define their entire self at the same time.

Alongside their strong bond, many chapters highlight the importance of growth, change and becoming leaders in the community.

Each chapter goes through a yearly election process, so changing positions isn’t uncommon. All interviews featured in this article were conducted in 2024, meaning some executive board roles may have changed. TKE’s Chapter

President, Theodor Wolf, believes the connections TKE has made through siblinghood help them strive to be the best. He says, “We are an organization that is capable of fostering leaders and making sure that they’re eager to improve and continue that culture.”

As for Pi Phi, Hulick and King highlight the importance of getting members together who would help each other grow in friendships, leadership and all areas of life. King says she enjoys “watching people grow throughout their time and, especially being in an exec position, the leadership not only helped me grow as a person but helped others as well.”

Beyond leadership and siblinghood, the reason Greek organizations exist is because of their national and chapter-specific philanthropies. To put it simply, students who join Greek life make a difference. According to Hulick, “Philanthropy is kind of a basis” when joining Greek life. Many choose a chapter with a philanthropy that aligns with their own passions and personal experiences.

For example, Tri Delta and TKE’s philanthropy is to support St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Some members of these chapters might have siblings, family or friends who were patients at St. Jude. Knowing that they are working hard toward a cause that impacts them directly brings them together. TKE member Tryston Larson says, “When you get to be a contributing factor, nothing beats that. Nothing beats when it comes to helping out.”

Pi Phi’s philanthropy is a children’s literacy program called Read - Lead - Achieve that focuses on child literacy in local schools and on a national level. Hulick says, “A

lot of our members have a really strong love of reading, learning and developing ourselves in that way.”

This makes it easy for members to connect with their cause. King adds, “Literacy is much more than not knowing how to read. It doesn’t have to be about reading. It can be about social justice. If you can’t read, you can’t vote, can’t get access to medication, can’t fill out documents, can’t drive and more.”

Alpha Chi Omega’s Upsilon chapter, whose philanthropy is domestic violence and sexual assault awareness, is associated with more difficult emotions because of the topic’s heaviness and members’ personal experiences. Hard philanthropy topics like domestic violence awareness can cause

difficult emotions but also inspire a passion for the cause. “Philanthropy events bring us together in that we all work together to make them a success,” Upsilon chapter President Leah Flint says, “especially through our impact on the community and local organizations in Decatur.”

Each chapter aims to make a positive impact on its members and the community by fostering personal growth. Every chapter provides a platform for people to develop meaningful relationships that support each other, leading members to become more open to learning about different people and building connections. The diverse connections are valuable and substantially enrich one’s college experience.

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Silly Love Songs

By: Lily Bryson

Love is multifaceted. Whether it’s shared with a partner, held within yourself, blooming in the present or lingering as a golden glow of the past, love continues to fuel art. This playlist is a collection of songs about love in the past, present and future.

1. “Juna”

2. “Picture You”

3. “It’s Too Late”

Clairo croons over a twinkly, multilayered instrumental about the vulnerability of letting someone else love you. “With you, there’s no pretending,” she sings, “You know me / And I just might know you too.”

This tender ballad depicts the hazy warmth of late-night longing, imagining the other person yearning just like you are and asking them, “am I in the frame from your point of view?”

King’s smoky voice fills with melancholy as she sings to a lover: “There’ll be good times again for me and you / But we just can’t stay together, don’t you feel it too?”

4. “Not a Lot, Just Forever”

5. “Giver / Taker”

by Kacey Musgraves (2024)

by Leith Ross (2022)

Lenker’s delicate delivery undercuts the vivid imagery of this standout track from her album “songs.” She emphasizes the possessive impulses of love, singing, “And I wanna be your wife / So I hold you to my knife.”

Musgraves captures the uncertainty of needing more from a partner and overcompensating for them. Her gentle voice soars, “I need all your love, not just one piece / Hoping that it ain’t too much for me to ask.”

This acoustic track is awash in discovery of a purer, kinder love after experiencing a relationship that demanded rather than asked: “Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me / Not to make me cry.”

7. “Waiting Room”

8. “Love Songs”

Bridgers’s trademark lyricism finds increasingly specific metaphors for unrequited love.

“I wanna be the broken love song that feeds your misery,” she sings, “Wanna make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents’ teenage daughter.”

Guryan’s lyrics depict a simple conversation with a stranger after being suddenly reminded of a past love: “I was cryin’ in the sunshine / When someone said / ‘Is something wrong’ / And I said ‘No / It’s just a song / And I can’t tell you why / Pretty love songs always make me cry.’”

by Clairo (2024)

by Adrianne Lenker (2020)

by Phoebe Bridgers (2016)

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by Chappell Roan (2024)

by Margo Guryan (1968)

by Carole King (1971)

6. “We’ll Never Have Sex”

Scan for playlist here:

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BURST A Millikin University student-produced magazine