BURST Magazine – Spring 2024

BURST

The Identity Issue

STAFF

Editor-in-Chief

Eden Niebrugge

Editors

Madelyn Cummins

Anna Quick

Creatives

Elyssa Clayton

Skylar Copeland

Jodi Dingman

Rosy Lentini

Crux May

Eden Niebrugge

Cole Phillips

Assistant Editor

Page Shields

Writers

Eli Bland

Cristina Borunda Gomez

Lily Bryson

Madelyn Cummins

Kemper Koslofski

Sophie Nicholson

Eden Niebrugge

Daniel J. Peters

Anna Quick

Destiny Schlesinger

Page Shields

Olivia Swords

Shaina Yumol

Faculty Advisor

Dr. Julie Bates

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Dear readers,

Past issues of BURST have focused on recognizing the communities we empower, build and represent every day while also striving to “burst” the Milli-bubble through each article. Our writers pick and choose their battles, depicting a variety of social justice topics from local to global. These student-writers have voiced their resistance, offered solutions and empowered others to search for the best in all things. BURST represents college students collectively standing up to inequities for ourselves and others.

But what about our story? Who are we?

Upon a quick definition search, the word “identity” can be described with two contrasting terms: individuality and sameness. While every person remains their own individual, we find it comforting to connect with others, and we often discover our greatest strengths being highlighted by the people around us. We strive to empower readers to embrace their differences socially and personally, but we are never truly alone, despite how much we might feel like it.

“The Identity Issue” unveils how we view ourselves and others, whether that be our coffee order or gender identity. Much like past issues of BURST that amplify student voices and experiences, our featured writers dissect humanity’s uniqueness by challenging a society that demands traditional conformity. From a treasured musical artist to the place we call home, the articles in this issue reveal narratives of acceptance and inclusion alongside trials of denial and alienation.

As you read through “The Identity Issue,” consider how your identity ties into these articles. Who do you find relatable? How might your perspective change? What topics intrigue you? And, on page 7, what drink are you?

Identities change over time, and one story or article will never fully encompass who we are as individuals. We should be continuously growing and adapting to the world around us, essentially “bursting” out of bubbles throughout our lives.

Always remember: you are unique but never entirely alone.

Take it easy,

Eden Niebrugge

Editor-in-Chief

Molded by

BY: ELI BLAND

Music

Three Millikin students chronicle their lives through a variety of artists and albums.

Think back to one of the most formative moments of your life. What sounds were fluttering around you? Birds or crickets? Sneezes or coughs? Was music in the air, perhaps? Three Millikin students discuss their favorite music over the years and how it affected their love of the art form as well as their overall identity.

Lance Frederick, a sophomore biology major, has always had a passion for music. His earliest memory is looping “The Fame” by Lady Gaga in his mom’s car. “I would later find out that would drive her crazy, but I didn’t care,” he laughs. “That was the beginning I’d say, and I still love Lady Gaga.” Around his junior year of high school, he explored older decades like ’80s pop — think Michael Jackson and Prince — and even ’40s and ’50s doo-wop and vocal jazz.

Since he started college, Frederick has listened to rock and metal music with bands like Avenged Sevenfold, causing him to think more about existentialism. He says, “You could almost say my mental state progresses with the

music I listen to, or it could be just a huge coincidence.”

Audrey Soetermans, a sophomore commercial music major, has been in love with music since the age of four, where she vividly remembers listening to classical Bach while falling asleep. In middle school, Soetermans was drawn to pop and alternative music. Bands like Twenty One Pilots and Linkin Park inspired her throughout the years.

As she learns about songwriting and producing, she is drawn back to her love of alternative music and the way it differs. “There’s not a single alternative song that’s the same, it’s a really interesting umbrella term or just anything that’s unconventional ... and that’s probably influenced me and my songwriting a lot,” she says.

Cora Carr is a senior music major raised by music — anything from Justin Timberlake to The Mamas & the Papas. Carr started to form their music taste around 13 when they made a Spotify account and found their favorite artist, Sufjan Stevens. Albums like “Carrie & Lowell,” “Illinois” and “Michigan” by Sufjan Stevens hold a lot of meaning

to them because of the themes of family, loss and living in the Midwest.

Discovering Bon Iver over quarantine helped Carr immensely in coping with isolation. Carr says learning how the album “For Emma, Forever Ago” was recorded in a secluded log cabin and listening to “22, A Million” with its themes of growth and heartache has had a lasting effect. Post-COVID, Carr has been able to attend more live shows and has found a new appreciation for concert communities and local acts. Carr finds new ways to connect with people through music, like singing along to “American Pie” in a random karaoke bar in Vienna. “Every single person in that room, we were all like best friends for that moment ... I don’t know who these people are but I feel so safe,” Carr says. “It makes me feel very human to be connected to music together.” Whether it’s pop, rap, country or folk, everyone has music they love. That music can help you make connections, build confidence or define your identity. So, what are you listening to?

Beyond the Drive

By: Anna Quick

College commuters provide an insight into the daily balancing act of academics, expenses, social relationships and travel. How is one’s identity formed around driving to school?

Snow falls, littering the ground with white specks. Students who live on campus stare in awe, excited to see the weather, while commuters are in their bedrooms questioning, “How am I going to get to school today?” Weather, car troubles and gas are the last things students who live on campus have to think about, but for a commuter, it is almost always on their minds. The experience of driving to campus can make or break a college student.

Commuting to college limits young adults from partaking in the stereotypical activities of a student. When people think about the college experience, they envision partying on weekends, hanging out with friends and joining extracurriculars, but commuters miss out on these opportunities.

Senior Garren Meeker recalls the troubles of commuting in her first year of college. “I didn’t know anyone. I wasn’t in a dorm, so I didn’t have that community,” Meeker says. She made many commuter friends during her first year, but the time restraints all commuters share became an issue.

The tireless commute to campus often prevents longlasting friendships due to time management and the non-existent rest time between daily events. Time management turns into an essential skill for commuters to complete homework, spend time with friends and attend classes.

When discussing time management, former commuter Eden Niebrugge says, “I would have to plan out when I could study, and sometimes when I had to take a shower.” Although showering might be a mindless task, commuters have to fit it into their busy schedules, among other irritating tasks, such as meals and outfit changes. College is taxing for any student. However, adding commuting to the equation makes academic responsibilities harder to achieve. Niebrugge says, “I would spend long hours in public spaces because my classes wouldn’t always be back to back.” Commuters don’t have a designated spot to sit while waiting for their next class; they must utilize common areas around campus. Having to complete homework in

public places with high traffic or at home after a long drive is mentally taxing. On-campus students take a short walk to their dorm to study or rest, but commuters make the lonely and lengthy drive home before they begin.

The worst fear for commuters is their car; they must constantly think about it. Money is tight for any college student, but commuters must spend the money to keep their vehicle in shape and buy overpriced gas. “I would restrain myself from spending time with friends due to gas money,” Niebrugge says. Even if a commuter takes the extra step to hang out with their friends, they have to make decisions based on what they can afford.

A commuter’s identity at college is shaped by their classwork, major, part-time job and extracurriculars like any other student. However, their time management and drive to school can build or break a college career. A crucial part of the college experience is discovering yourself. But for a commuter, their identity is forged around that long road to campus.

12:43 pM

Can a Barista Guess Your Order?

BY: MADELYN CUMMINS

Two baristas weigh in on how they can guess their customers’ coffee orders and the science — or magic — behind how they do it.

Coffee says a lot about a person. Whether they drink it or refuse to. Whether they fork over $7 for a vanilla latte or brew it at home using stale grounds. Sugar and cream or Gilmore black? Decaf or filthy chai? Iced tea or the trendy cold brew? It’s a community-building experience, going out with our acquaintances to sip on over-caffeinated beverages while chatting away the time.

Making coffee is an art. But so is predicting what someone will order. It’s an exhilarating guessing game, where you base your odds on the customer’s appearance, personality, and poise.

Only a barista would know. Here we pose the question we have wondered since the beginning of time ... well, circa 1971, when Starbucks became a thing: How do they know?

“You can make educated guesses if you’ve been doing it long enough,” says Madelyn Letourneau, a former Starbucks barista. “It’s like, ‘Oh, like if you have earthy vibes then maybe a matcha.’ You’re not always right, but you can make a really good guess.”

Letourneau says it’s mainly a personality thing. If a customer walks in bubbly and looks kind-hearted, their order will likely be a matcha or chai latte. A customer’s clothes and

how they act upon walking through the doors — even the baristas themselves — play into how a barista perceives them and their tentative order.

“It can be very one-way or another. You expect a construction worker to get a black coffee, but working class men sometimes get very fruity, sugary drinks most of the time,” says Letourneau. Younger children tend to want lemonades or cake pops, and the infamously stereotypical pre-teen girls purchase their frappes to brandish during class. “I loved when we had regulars come in, you appreciate having that personal connection with people that come in more often,” says Letourneau.

Contrary to what one might have originally assumed, guessing a customer’s order sounds more evidence-based and less magical. “Some people will come in and they’ll change up their order, there’s not really a whole lot you can do,” says Destiny Schlesinger. “If you have high school girls come in, they are more than likely going to order something with pumpkin or one of our sweeter lattes.”

The art of predicting a coffee order is more taking note of trends than intuitive mind-sorcery. While

believing the idea that a barista could guess one’s coffee or tea order sounds intriguing, it’s simply not always the case. Baristas are people too, working away for their pay and ending the day tired, despite all the caffeine around them.

When asked what my coffee order would be, the baristas responded with alarming accuracy. “I feel like you would like chai or matcha. That would be my guess. Maybe an occasional green tea lemonade,” says Letourneau, hitting the mark. “Something with, if I had to guess, espresso in it,” says Schlesinger. “I don’t know what kind of milk you would drink. I feel like you could definitely be almond or oat, but you also don’t really care that much.” If in the mood for coffee, my order would also consist of her suggestions.

Perhaps baristas can accurately guess your coffee order: it’s sciencebased magic, after all. Next time you venture out to a local coffee shop, try humoring your barista in guessing your coffee order. It may even bring on a new favorite beverage.

WHAT DRINK ARE YOU?

1

Which aesthetic is your favorite?

A. Academia

B. Cottagecore/Fairycore

C. Y2K/’80s/’90s

D. E-Girl/Boy

2

What is your favorite season?

A. Winter

B. Spring

C. Summer

D. Fall

3

Which holiday(s) do you prefer?

A. New Year’s Holidays

B. Easter/Valentines Day

C. Independence Day

D. Thanksgiving/Halloween

4

What do you add-on to your order?

A. Iced

B. Extra syrup

C. Cold foam

D. Cinnamon

The Not-So-Fearless Financial Side of Fandom

BY: LILY BRYSON

How does one’s identity as a fan tie into the feeling of financial obligation to an artist? Swifties found out this summer while buying tickets to the Eras Tour.

For teenagers and young adults, fandom is an integral part of identity. Beatlemania and Elvis show that this phenomenon is not new. However, the rise of social media influences a different relationship between fans and artists.

From the mid-2000s, Taylor Swift has cultivated an online presence. Her relationship with fans has been more intimate than the standard admiration that is typical with artists. To some of her fans, she feels like a glamorous older sister than an untouchable star.

With the announcement of the Eras Tour, the demand for tickets overwhelmed online sellers. Prices ranged from $49 to $499 without factoring in fees, which can sometimes double the fare.

According to Business Insider, the average resale value of U.S. Eras Tour tickets was $3,801 in July 2023 — a 2,321% increase from the value of a resale ticket to Swift’s 2018 Reputation Tour.

In reality, three Millikin students and I paid varying fares for the US Eras Tour. My nosebleed tickets in Chicago’s Soldier Field Stadium cost $49. In the same stadium, Katie Kocan, a junior arts technology and Theatre and Performance Studies major, paid around $250 for the lower bowl. Mara Edgar, a senior art major, paid $300 for a view of the side stage and a screen, rather than Swift herself.

As for junior musical theatre major Laura Switzer and her friends, tickets during the original sale were unobtainable. However, over three months, she acquired four tickets for the Nashville show from Swift’s team, Taylor Nation. Without fees, Switzer paid $160 for a pair in separate sections and $120 with fees for the other.

Another cost of fandom is merchandise. Switzer and Edgar didn’t buy merch due to financial concerns, while Kocan and I did. With merch and travel costs, we spent between $60 and $400 on top of tickets.

The additional factors of age and financial independence adds another layer. According to the analytics site Viberate, around 78% of Swift’s fans are between the ages of 18 and 34, which is the demographic least likely to be financially stable.

All three students expressed need to be at the Eras Tour to feel

satistified as a fan. Switzer says, “If I could have gone to every single [concert], I would have,” reminiscing about watching live streams of concerts. Kocan, a dedicated fan since 2013, says, “I feel like especially today, you have to prove that you like the artists that you like,” referring to what designates a real fan, opposed to a casual listener. It’s clear that fans feel that at some level. How much of this pressure is from a parasocial relationship with artists? How much is due to a consumerist mentality which promotes overspending as a means of status?

As a fan, I’m not sure. After all, I’ve already bought tickets to the next U.S. leg of the Eras Tour. I do know that this is my last concert for a while; my bank account will need to recover.

Faith on Campus

BY: MADELYN CUMMINS

It can be difficult for students to keep up with their faith during college; nonetheless, Millikin maintains a strong faith-based population for those looking for support and community.

Religion can be an innate part of an individual’s identity, upbringing and background. It spans many generations of family and culture, causing wars or helping to unite people in trying times. Yet in today’s socially — and politically — charged climate, it can be a difficult subject to talk about.

Many undergraduate students find themselves isolated from their classmates, believing that their faith is something to be ashamed of in today’s world. They assume that they are alone in their beliefs and tend to withhold sharing their views out of either fear or shame.

“Faith is really such a beautiful thing,” says Olivia Swords, a junior English, history and philosophy triple-major. “There should be no shame in sharing that, no matter what. No matter what background you come from. It’s sad that there’s this stigma around it, but I’m really glad that Millikin has such a strong faith community that’s very accepting and welcoming.” Millikin University has done an exemplary job of being inclusive and accepting of different religions, even if there are not many

faith-based groups on campus. From offering study groups, recognizing religious holidays such as Diwali and Hanukkah, to hosting mass on campus every Sunday, these campus communities are more prominent than they may appear.

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) is composed mostly of individuals in varying sports programs who are part of the Christian faith. However, the group welcomes all students, regardless if they are an athlete or not. FCA’s goal is to serve its community through local outreach, encourage accountability in their faith and build fellowship through small groups and peer mentorship.

Millikin Newman Catholic, which holds mass in Pilling Chapel every Sunday, is another group of Catholics who come together to worship and share their faith. FCA’s goal is to serve its community through local outreach, encourage accountability in the Christian faith and build fellowship through small groups and peer mentorship. Newman’s minister, Tom Prior, makes an effort at the beginning of every school year

to meet with any and all students who have expressed interest in the church itself. Prior will talk to students about where they are faith-wise, work through struggles they may have and answer any questions that arise.

“It’s been a nice way to recenter myself coming back to school,” says Swords. Swords finds it grounding to have a community that supports and encourages her in her relationship with religion. She adds, “In a lot of ways, your religion and faith is kind of personal, but I have really come to learn that a really important part of being a Christian is sharing the word with others.” She says it was challenging sharing her beliefs in the beginning, “especially not knowing where people are coming from with their views on religion,” Swords has grown confident in her own faith.

Religion has become more taboo and stigmatized each passing year, and many students of faith feel alienated from their peers due to their belief system. Religious affiliation has seen a drastic reduction in the past decade. According to a 2021 study by Gregory A. Smith regarding this decline, “about three-in-ten U.S. adults (29%) are religious ‘nones’ — people who describe themselves as atheists, agnostics, or ‘nothing in particular.’”

Many stay quiet in class when political or personal subject matters arise for debate in fear of being ostracized from those around them. It can be particularly difficult when one is reserved in nature and knows that if they vocalize their faith the probability of connecting with others dwindles down to almost nothing.

Yet one of the many wonderful things about America, and Millikin, is the freedoms in which all citizens have to worship their god in their own way. Discrimination against religion is prohibited and, quite frankly, frowned upon. “People are very respectful of religion,” says Avisha Sareen, a junior commercial music major, “I have never had anyone make fun of my religion (Hinduism). They have always appreciated my beliefs, and I really like that about America.”

Being an international student from India, Sareen has missed being part of the holiday festivals and dressing up in traditional Indian wear, such as sarees or lehengas. “I have seen people here love my outfits and Indian wear. I just feel conscious that I am the only one wearing it,” says Sareen.

“Faith is really such a beautiful thing.”

“There should be no shame in sharing that, no matter what.”

Unfortunately, not every religion is represented at Millikin. However, those in the religious minority are very devout in their faith and practices. “My religion plays a pretty important role in my day-to-day life,” says Zahra Haji, a sophomore molecular and cellular biology major. “For Muslims, there are five daily prayers that we do, and I am very strict with my prayers. I have a routine with how I pray and how I get all my homework done,” says Haji. It doesn’t phase her being one of the only Muslims on campus, and being in the Long-Vanderburg program has helped her to feel accepted for who she is as an individual and her religious practices. While many individuals around campus still feel isolated from their peers due to the religious beliefs they hold, it’s comforting knowing that there are students at Millikin who are devout in their faith and feel accepted for who they are. Organizations on campus could improve the ways in which they advertise and advocate for their respective groups, as many students do not realize the strong faith-based communities on Millikin’s campus. Religion has been glossed over in the past decade, and students especially experience a certain alienation in classrooms or in other social situations due to the backlash it has received. However, knowing that there are groups of individuals assembling to share their faith and worship is particularly inspiring. Even if not religious, one can appreciate the strength and encouragement that comes with a community of caring students and faculty members around Millikin’s campus.

TAILS OF SUCCESS

At the end of a stressful day, these Millikin students know they always have a friendly (and furry) face to come home to. BY: PAGE SHIELDS

Pets have a purpose, and sometimes, a dorm-permitted fish just doesn’t cut it. Through mental health resources available on Millikin’s campus, proud pet parents have proven how emotional support animals (ESAs) can be key to some students’ collegiate success.

When one of these students moved to campus her first year, she quickly began to feel that something was missing. Senior Kayla Wolf was far from home, but that wasn’t all: “Mentally, I wasn’t at 100 percent, and taking care of an animal was just a part of my family,” she explains. It was in therapy sessions that Wolf discovered an ESA may be the answer. “[The counselor] asked, ‘What are some of the ways that you cope?’

an animal, and getting Peanut actually motivated me to take care of myself a little bit more,” Wolf says.

Since then, Wolf has adopted another ESA: Draco, a cat named after the Harry Potter series. He instantly became a part of the family and contributed to supporting his owner’s mental health. She says, “It was a coping mechanism for me. It motivated me to get up out of bed. I would make Draco’s dinner and Peanut’s dinner and then make my own, because it was all right there.”

immediately,” she says.

And it’s taking care of animals or my friends. I love helping people,” she says.

So Wolf took the opportunity to adopt a chinchilla. She named her Peanut, and not only did the two become fast friends, but Wolf began to see growth in her own mental health. “I really missed taking care of

Much like Wolf, Millikin senior Elyssa Clanton also grew up with animals. She didn’t realize how much they served her mental health until after she moved to college — and away from her furry friends. Millikin was able to connect her with a therapist and psychiatrist, who agreed that ESAs would be a beneficial addition to her treatment. And she knew exactly what kind of animal she wanted.

In 2023, Clanton welcomed her new ESAs: two rats. Atlas and Ezra are two adventurous, affectionate pets that have made a major difference in Clanton’s life. “I love opening the cage door and have them just running out

Think an ESA is right for you?

Clanton knows that her ESAs are less of a traditional species, and admits that her roommates were hesitant at first about inviting rodents into their home. “They were both like, ‘Oh my gosh, this girl is bringing two street rats into our room,’” Clanton says. But as soon as they met their newest housemates, they both quickly fell in love. “My roommate admitted she uses them as a stress relief too, all the time. She was like, ‘When I’m getting ready, I will just stare and watch them eat or play or whatever. It’s so nice.’”

For Clanton and many others, emotional support animals have been the motivation they need to thrive. “It’s such a huge stress relief to know that I have something to take care of, and something on this campus that just genuinely loves me,” Clanton says. “And besides: they’re just the cutest.”

In compliance with the Fair Housing Act, Millikin University permits students to have an emotional support animal with approval from the Office of Campus Life. Reach out to 217-424-6335 or campuslife@millikin.edu for more information.

Mile A in My Shoes

By: Eden Niebrugge

Four young adults gush about their favorite shoes and what makes their footwear so perfectly unique.

Your feet hit the hard pavement as you speedwalk to class, counting down the minutes until you’re late. You skip over puddles and gum. You pace yourself amongst the crowd. Every day, shoes carry you to class, work, the store and back home again. They’re one of the most expensive parts of your outfit and identity, from $65 sneakers to $260 boots.

On the surface, your identity can include ethnicity, race, religion, sexuality, gender, abilities, age and experiences. These components tie into how we view ourselves and our individuality, which we present to others through our physical appearance, including our pricey shoes. From frequency of wear to stylistic points, we buy shoes based on a variety of reasons — all leading back to our identities.

Four young adults with diverse backgrounds discuss how their identities and buying habits influence their ideal pair of shoes.

Sophie Nicholson, a senior English writing and literature major, bought her $60 loafers three years ago online, choosing them because “they’re cute but also functional.”

Her ideal shoe is something she could wear every day. She says, “I prioritize frequency of wear… I’m not going to buy comfy shoes if I don’t think I’ll wear them enough.” She says that good shoes are a pair where “you don’t feel the ground under your feet.”

Until she discovered her Circus New York loafers, she didn’t have a lot of stylish footwear. Due to foot pain, her previous style consisted of “cushiony grandma shoes” that were usually not glamorous. Sometimes, comfort clashes with style, preventing the frequency of wear and a person’s confidence. For Nicholson, finding a perfect balance is necessary for everyday wear.

LeahFlint

Mara Edgar

Leah Flint, a second-year musical theater major, replaced her old Converse with $110 fun, practical chunky platforms.

Flint says she only buys shoes when she really needs them — never just for fun. As a practical person, she felt “more inclined to buy [her platforms] because they were on sale.” While frequency of wear and comfort are equally important, style comes first for Flint.

Until Flint developed her style, she “used to feel pressured by others” when it came to shoes. However, she says, “liberal arts majors appreciate funky fashion,” making her confident in any pair of shoes. In her platforms, she wants to “play into the masculine energy I feel I have.” Now that she understands her identity within her community, Flint is dressing for herself and feeling all the better for it.

Jason Schimansky, a 20-year-old working in the blue-collar trades, wears his $260 pair of Red Wing Irish Setter Boots every day.

While he prefers comfortable shoes over anything else, Schimansky bought this pair specifically due to their features. They’re “really comfortable, waterproof, and slip-on,” he says. “They have steel toes for protection.” His job heavily impacts his preferences and buying habits, but he also believes his shoes reflect his personality.

Schimansky believes that his identity as “a straight, white man working in a trade” affects the way he buys his shoes. He says, “Not only do I have to think about what will protect my feet on the job, but it’s the trend in my age group.”

While some favor style, Schimansky prefers safe and comfortable work boots that get the job done.

Jason Schimansky

Mara Edgar, a senior art and digital media marketing major, considers her $140–$160 painted Nike Air Force 1s a staple of her wardrobe.

After receiving them as a birthday gift, Edgar now wears them two or three times a week and considers them “statement pieces” that boost her confidence. She says, “my style is feminine, maximalist, and colorful,” and this pair is a perfect representation of her major and queerness.

“It can be hard not to fall victim to microtrends,” Edgar says. This pair, though, made her feel justified because she felt that the design was very “her.” She says, “I try to envision what I already own ... to determine whether a pair is worth it to me.” Edgar prefers supporting independent artists and staying away from microtrends when she buys shoes.

Finding a Christian Identity on a Worldly Campus

By: Kemper Koslofski

On a campus that preaches acceptance of all identities and religions, faith groups still lack acceptance.

Finding your identity can be a very difficult process as there is no one else who has one quite like yours. You have your own experiences, opinions and beliefs. Attempting to find your identity in other people is a huge risk, one that can lead to emptiness and unfulfilled wishes.

However, there is a community on campus that finds their identity in someone who they believe will never let them down. These are faith communities and clubs such as Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), Intervarsity and Newman Catholic. These individuals are Christians who place their identity in Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, Millikin’s campus often views these individuals in a way that’s different from how they actually function.

Trista Hampton, a leader for FCA, believes that the faith groups at Millikin are a great benefit to campus, especially with the events the groups have hosted over the past year. “The week of worship that FCA put on with Avodah was very beneficial for me personally and for the faith groups here at Millikin,” she says. “I know that my community supports me, because the community came to support the event.”

Avodah is a team of Christ-led believers who have been gifted with the incredible talents of leading worship. Their worship is often spontaneous, without much planning in advance. They have partnered with FCA several times over the last few semesters to put on weeks of worship for students.

JJ Minton, the Macon County representative for FCA, also acknowledges the important role that these groups play on Millikin’s campus, especially with how small the faith community is. However, he also wants the campus to know that FCA is not only for athletes.“We primarily talk about sports and competing in a Christian way,” Minton says. “However, you can apply what we talk about to anything in life.” This is one of the main stereotypes that FCA, and other faith groups, deal with on campus. Many have been called cults, and the most common assumption is that these groups tend to be exclusionary towards outsiders. However, one of the most important values that Christians hold is that Jesus Christ calls sinners just as they are, and does not require anyone to have it all figured out. The same principle applies to faith-based groups on campus.

Danny Lack, an FCA leader, believes that acceptance of any and everyone is one of the most important values a faith group can uphold.“The community is very welcoming,” he says. “It is especially open to people that are testing out the waters of faith and Christianity. Attending an FCA meeting doesn’t commit you to doing anything, so the stress level is very low.”

Being part of faith groups is an incredible and unique opportunity.The faith community on Millikin’s campus is a tight knit one, but these groups are always ready to accept anyone, regardless of their experiences.

Beyond the Letters: Greek Life Diversity

BY: OLIVIA SWORDS

Greek life has a problematic history with minority groups, but some chapters are working to overcome the stigma through diversity, equity and inclusion efforts.

Greek organizations have been marred by a problematic history of exclusivity, inaccessibility, racism and homophobia. Within the past two decades, many university chapters have officially allowed racial integration in fraternities and sororities. Yet, fewer have implemented measures to ensure inclusion.

The small school environment at Millikin University has allowed for greater expansion of accessibility within Greek organizations than it would at larger schools. Each chapter has developed positions dedicated to upholding the principles of diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI), but the exclusive past still impacts how members feel in every organization.

Shaina Yumol, a sophomore member of Alpha Chi Omega, brings her perspective as a person of color in Millikin’s panhellenic society. In terms of race, Yumol says, “I think

some groups gatekeep diversity and don’t want to expand to include other people in the chapter and would rather keep it to themselves. There’s not a lot of focus on DEI.”

Despite the increased push for expanded DEI efforts, Greek life continues to statistically favor particular demographics.

Theodore Fisher is a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, a multicultural fraternity on campus. He says, “We attend a small, private, largely white university with low Black enrollment. Our organization has a long and important history starting at HBCUs, and we do everything we can to maintain that history. Even with low membership given the demographics of Millikin, we would rather have quality members over quantity.”

Alpha Phi Alpha, according to Fisher, assumes a unique role within the Greek community as a multicultural fraternity. “We are very inclusive. Sometimes, non-African

American students make comments or jokes, and I don’t see that happening as much to interfraternal organizations. I don’t like to insinuate and don’t like when others insinuate,” Fisher says, “I have white brothers, Arab brothers and international brothers, and we all serve the same purpose. They don’t need to be part of my race or part of my culture to add to the fraternity.” This inclusion differentiates many of the multicultural Greek organizations from panhellenic and interfraternal chapters on campus.

“If a Black person on campus is interested in a white organization, they would probably get some looks. If you look at the campus, different races segregate themselves. There’s that divide, and all of that ties into social stigma. But you have to set the biases aside to make the best choice for yourself. It’s not about the color of your skin, it’s about

what you can add to your fraternity,” Fisher explains.

While race remains a key component of these initiatives, it is only one of several barriers members may face. Sophie Nicholson, a senior member of Alpha Chi, explains that “there’s also definitely a financial barrier.” Many college students are unable to afford Greek life costs while paying for their education. With semester dues in campus chapters often exceeding $4,000, financial accessibility is another issue members contend with even with chapter-based scholarships and grants.

Despite these issues inherent within Greek life, campus chapters such as Alpha Chi have developed leadership boards and initiatives designed to reform the problematic roots of sororities. Nicholson explains, “I think Greek life benefits by still honoring the traditions of the individual community, the secrets, and siblinghood … The more Greek life looks to the past, the less we progress, and we’re not going to survive without progression.”

Greek life can be structurally unwelcoming to minority groups even today. By continuing to promote and implement DEI efforts, Greek organizations can lead the charge of panhellenic reform, promoting the identities and individuality of all members.

WHO WE ARE AT HOME

When a freshman moves into their college dorm, someone new comes home for break. By:

Cristina Borunda Gomez

College is where young people find themselves. High school ends, and suddenly we’re starting over. We’re geeky little freshmen all over again, inexperienced and looked down on by the upperclassmen. But each short year of pushing forward is a massively transformative period. In just four years, naïve, stumbling freshmen graduate, eager and anxious to begin their career out in the real world.

These extreme transitions in identity and learning experiences are how we mature. As college students, we feel like adults, and for the most part, we are. We live on our own, cook our meals, do laundry and

pay utilities. When we go home for breaks, we don’t do these things. So who are we then?

It is strange and nostalgic to go back to our childhood homes and sleep in beds that feel too small for our almost-grown selves. Everything may seem the same, but like Heraclitus said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

Students awake from their “adult life” with a bucket of ice-cold water. Suddenly, we realize that we still have adults looking over us. Despite our time away, someone still sees us as a responsibility, and we’re back to

being that doe-eyed high-schooler.

We visit our friends from home, the ones who stayed and the ones who are also back for break. We try to fit back into each other’s lives like we did in high school before we grew up and changed into our college selves.

As an international student, the culture shock hits particularly hard. I have been doing the whole studyabroad thing for four years now, since my senior year of high school. You’d think I’d be used to it. Yet, the transition is never seamless. I still feel like a stranger when I first go back home. I step back into my old self, and it feels familiar, but it takes a

while. It’s like listening to an old song you used to know. You can kind of recall the lyrics in the back of your head, you can almost sing along in time, but it’s not quite there, and the music plays without waiting for you.

My identity, which I proudly tie to my Mexican background, is not the same. I’m neither here nor there. I don’t fit into the mold of Chihuahua Cristina. I find that every time I go home, the distance between my friends and I grows. They always have new inside jokes, different slang and new places they have visited without me. Even the way I talk is sometimes affected by a full semester of speaking just English. It’s like I’m constantly playing catch-up with my other life.

When I went home last year, my brother was getting into boxing,

and the next time I saw him, he had already moved on to a new hobby. My dad was on some diet and drank celery juice, now he’s on a different diet. Change becomes the only constant, and it doesn’t care whether you’re there to see it or not.

And while I’m home trying to catch up, I’m also looking on social media to see what my college friends are up to, missing my college life. Then, when I have finally caught up and established a routine, when I fit in as just another piece of home, break ends, and back to school it is.

I feel the tug of my other life no matter where I am. I have lived in the States long enough to blend in, and some of my friends sometimes even forget I’m not American. Despite my ability to blend in, I know this is not home. I am constantly reminded

by little things, like the little forms I have to fill out and they don’t. Forms that say you don’t belong here, your stay here is provisional, dependent on your student status and the tuition money you bring. I am neither here nor there. This isn’t home, not really, and always nostalgic for home, like I’m looking from the outside in. College students float around, trying to grasp a sense of identity. College is one big question mark, a blank page, and a million different doors all at once. Who are we when we can be anyone? Having the choice and responsibility of becoming a new person in a new place can be overwhelming, even without being pulled back to an old one. No matter how much “growing up” we’ve done in our time away, we’re still tethered by our roots.

Control Freak: Casting and Agency as a Recovering Perfectionist

By: Lily Bryson

Multiple factors, often beyond one’s control, affect a person’s career. For performers whose bodies are their instruments and whose essential selves may be at odds with their works, that visceral feeling lingers every day.

I’m a classic, type-A perfectionist; I have a deep-seated need to be indisputably right, to do everything exactly according to plan, to maintain careful control over myself and what little of my world I have jurisdiction over. Whether that’s an ingrained personality trait or a learned coping skill is up for debate, but I am very uncomfortable with giving up control.

I am also an actor. My work is inherently subjective, and there is no black and white, objectively correct answer as to the right interpretation of a role. There is also no singular, failsafe method to consistently getting cast. Even if one’s integrity, timing and behavior is flawless, there is no guarantee of booking a role. When your next meal may depend on whoever’s behind a casting table, that is a scary thought.

for the entirety of your life. Learned skills do not scare me. What does is something far less controllable.

be offered consistent work, but playing characters that feel incredibly distant from one’s current phase of life. It’s not that portraying children is unfulfilling, but it does fuel fears that I am not capable of being taken seriously as an adult or that I am not appealing in either a romantic or sexual sense.

Choosing this line of work is an exercise in becoming comfortable with the uncertain.

Many factors beyond one’s control go into casting, and the most anxiety-inducing is not the fact that another person could have better vocal technique, more dance training, or any number of other skills.Those are also achievable with enough training and dedication; you can learn to dance or get certified in stage combat. You can study voice

As an actor, I have to confront my desirability as a person and, in a sense, a commodity. An actor is free to audition for whatever they please and to continue building their skills in their chosen mediums, but that is not the only thing taken under consideration during casting. An impression made in an audition room is, in theory, under one’s control; if you’re punctual, polite, and prepared, you should be fine. Sometimes, you can do everything right, and the folks behind the casting table don’t get whatever undefinable air they’re searching for from you. If the vibe is off, then you’re likely not getting cast. It’s not that you’re lacking something, it’s that someone else just clicks in a way that you don’t.

A great deal also depends on physical appearance — gender, size, and “type.” I look young and have not played a character out of adolescence more than three times in my life. It’s difficult to reconcile oneself to the fact that one may

I am constantly thinking about the way in which I move in the world, how I appear to others and the role I play in other people’s lives. I try very hard to present myself in a way that is pleasant, easily digestible, and appealing to the masses. Despite controlling my actions and behaviors, the world is free to like and dislike me as they please. I don’t know whether I will ever simply exist, free of the desperate need to be palatable, without the overwhelming fear of the unknown. Choosing this line of work is an exercise in becoming comfortable with the uncertain. I look at myself in the mirror and I tell myself that I am allowed to exist as I am. No one should have to change themselves in an attempt to conform to a standard that is constantly shifting, and despite what my traitorous brain may tell me, I am not an exception to that rule. My body, my self, is mine.

Are You In the Studio?

By: Shaina Yumol

The tight-knit art community within Millikin’s Kirkland Fine Arts Center fosters individual identities derived from students’ majors and talents. However, there’s always room for improving the unity.

“It’s an opportunity to be in an environment where ... other people listen and they take you seriously and they believe in you.” – LJ Pemberton

Kirkland Fine Arts Center (K.F.A.C.) is a hub for some of the most creative people at Millikin. Professors and students alike put their talents to work here, creating exhibitions, markets and student-run organizations that showcase their potential. K.F.A.C. is not only home to its widely recognized theater but also to various studio spaces for student visual artists.

Millikin is a liberal arts school, and so the fine arts are key to the campus community. Faculty and students are able to share their passions, knowledge and skill sets to shape the unique performancelearning model our campus strives to uphold. Students thrive in K.F.A.C. Without this space, how would we create?

LJ Pemberton, artist and faculty for the College of Fine Arts, has been amazed by how much potential there is within the school. However, she notices an issue within the community: “There’s amazing facilities, there’s amazing talent, there’s resources, but it’s very separated because [students] have kind of a scarcity mentality, austerity mentality.” She believes there’s a solution, though, saying, “Community creates abundance. We create abundance by sharing with each other.”

The School of Art and Creative Media (S.A.C.M.) offers a number of art degrees and certificates for non-

art majors, all of which call K.F.A.C. home. Its facilities include drawing, printmaking and painting studios with 24/7 access. It’s a shared, expressive communal space that provides free materials and room to create, making art more accessible. Not only is this classroom space available, but the majority of the art advisors and professors have office spaces near the front of the building for ease of communication.

“Most undergraduate art students don’t get a studio space, which is a very unusual thing that Millikin offers because that’s not even something that some graduate students get,” Pemberton says. Art students are very appreciative of how convenient it is to have an individual space on campus.

One of these students, Hannah Roberts, feels that the Kirkland space allows artists to create close friendships while they work. Roberts says, “It’s amazing to see other students willing to show their creative process and share it, which is something I really appreciate from my classmates.”

Josephine McLennan, a transfer B.A. art major, admires that the studio became a place to be able to spend long hours, in what she describes as a “peaceful, calming and safe place.” Her previous major in business didn’t allow for a comforting space that fit her interests.

K.F.A.C is a place these students can call home, a space where they feel safe enough to create. Pemberton says, “This is what it’s supposed to be. A place where people can come and gather, support each other, create art and have this deep precious moment that is only available to you for while you’re in college.”

Normal Is a Myth: Greek Myth & Ourselves

By: Lily Bryson

Mythology tells us about humanity and life lessons. Live performances and other forms of entertainment impact mythology’s relevance to today’s youth. What does it mean for a kid today to see themselves reflected in a thousand-year-old story?

When I was in first grade, I went into the library and picked up a book because the spine was pretty. I don’t remember having any exposure to Greek myth before that, but that book awakened something in me that sparked a lifelong fascination with myth, folklore and the retelling of these stories.

The book was titled “The Lightning Thief,” and its contemporary take on the Greek pantheon in a child’s perspective was fascinating to 6-year-old me. I continued to engage with myths, and as a now 21-year-old, they’re not simply a pure source of entertainment but more of a lens with which to view humanity, past and present.

Myths are one of the most common sources for adaptations, whether that be in literature, music, film or theater. A past example of adaptations are ancient Greek plays that heavily drew on mythological figures. More recently are the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta “Thespis,” Tennessee Williams’ “Orpheus Descending,” Sarah Ruhl’s “Eurydice” and the recent hit musical “Hadestown.” Greek myth continues to be an inspiration for theatrical works.

Even “The Lightning Thief” has been adapted four times now: a terrible duo of early 2010s movies, a Disney+ series, a book by Joe Tracz and a musical with music and lyrics by Rob Rokicki, which Millikin produced last fall. I spoke with three Millikin faculty members and one student about their experiences

with myth and theater, and the resulting conversations revealed fascinating insights about mythology, how theater acts as a vehicle for education for children and why myth is a valuable part of a child’s journey of learning about the world.

Our modern media belong to a past full of different cultures’ storytelling traditions, the folklore told to children at bedtime and the myths shared over meals. From short stories to sweeping novels, Greek myth and many conventions today share common themes,

character types and plot structures in folklore. Dr. Julia Moriarty, a professor of theater history and analysis at Millikin, sees the same female characters types portrayed in myth. She says, “As I have continued to grapple with story structures and archetypes, those tend to create their own myths — the mother, the evil mother, the childless woman.” When we think of myth, the image typically conjured up is that of a fairy tale — gods and heroes battling vicious beasts, almost cartoonish in exaggeration. However,

“There is a particular joy in recognizing yourself in the depictions of others.”

for much of human history, our myths have been a primary means of processing the struggles of daily life. Dr. Danielle Alesi, a professor of global history at Millikin, says

of myths, “What makes them so interesting to us is that, while they’re telling stories of heroes and monsters, they also tell incredibly relevant stories of love and friendship and honor and jealousy and relationships between people.” The struggles that the heroes and gods endure are not unique to them; they mirror the emotional journeys that humanity has been navigating for generations.

Alesi notes that “myth is always an adaptation. It’s constantly living and being adapted for different

audiences. It’s what makes myths so interesting and so fruitful for study and thought.” She adds, “We emphasize different elements, but at their core, these are very human stories.”

The humanity of myth is also true of performance. The tradition of live performance is a response to processing life, just as myth is. Moriarty says about why theater continues its relevance from ancient Greece and beyond, “There is a particular joy in recognizing yourself in the depictions of others, and there is a safety in exploration by watching someone else go through a struggle or adventure where you can go along emotionally without having to go along physically … It’s an empathic journey. It is deeply human, and I think that that is why we haven’t moved past it.”

The enduring presence of performance as a storytelling medium, and as a living piece of history, is both an important part of our historical understanding of culture and of our contemporary understanding of theater as an art form. When it comes to theatrical adaptations of myth, Alesi notes, “It is as close to the original way audiences experienced these myths.”

The narrative of “The Lightning Thief” is preoccupied with the presence of myth in modern culture and people who don’t fully fit in the societal norm. Structurally, it is very similar to the classic hero’s journey. The director of Millikin’s production, Kevin Long, notes, “Percy had the same struggles as the author’s son

[Rick Riordan, the writer of the original children’s book], and he used the hero’s story to say that you don’t have to be perfect to overcome.” Common themes of mythological heroes are overcoming obstacles and rising above societal expectations, just like Percy Jackson’s journey to save his mom and discover his true identity as a hero.

Tanner Essex, a junior musical theatre major who played Percy in Millikin’s production, says, “In my time with Percy, I’ve had a lot of reflection on the idea of not belonging somewhere, of desperately wanting to, not understanding why you don’t, and feeling like it’s your fault. A lot of Percy’s issues come from being blamed for things that he can’t control. Exploring that within my interpretation of Percy has been my favorite part of that story.”

“The Lightning Thief” resonates with kids who struggle at choosing their own path due to the bounds of childhood. Continuing to adapt myths for modern audiences, particularly for kids, has the potential to spark an interest in literature, history or performance.

Essex says what drew him to performance is the “exhilarating thing to create something within yourself and then give it to others.” He adds, “Kids who want to go into theater should learn about Greek mythology. There’s a lot of lessons to be learned within the morals of those stories, which is why they’re still adapted into shows today.”

Alesi agrees that theater is a great educational tool about the past and present of humanity. She says,

“There’s going to be more people that can access theater than classics in a classroom.”

While adaptations can get tiring, it’s important to note why they are so successful. Long says, “It’s hard to find someone who will financially support a new idea,” but adaptations have a “built-in audience, built-in expectation, and built-in outcome,” making them a financially safer bet for producers.

Alesi says, “We do a disservice to the diversity of the human experience by thinking that we can only adapt myths for a certain point of history.” The themes of mythology and its figures have taken on different connotations throughout generations, but they continue to serve as a powerful educational tool. They help kids and adults not just learn about interpretations of the past but about themselves too.

Identity on Your Sleeve

By: Destiny Schlesinger

Tattoos are beautiful pieces of artwork on a person’s body, but what do they really mean?

Tea Landsverk

Tattoo Artist

Oakwood Tattoo

Eyes are typically considered the windows to the soul, but tattoos are too. People have tattoos across their bodies for many reasons — pretty designs, a deeper meaning or a spur-of-the-moment decision. How do tattoos shape a person? How do people perceive others with tattoos?

Tea Landsverk, a tattoo artist at Oakwood Tattoo, just blocks from Millikin’s campus, is more than willing to talk about her experience with tattooing and how tattoos can affect someone’s life.

She admits that most of her many tattoos “do not have a deeper meaning.” The tattoos still help shape her identity, though, reminding her to “not to take life so seriously.” She says, “Seeing them every day and paying attention to them helps to remind me how far I have come in my life.”

One of Landsverk’s tattoos, though, does hold significant meaning. When things started looking up for her, a luna moth tattoo felt right. Even today, when she focuses on this tattoo, she is reminded why she got it and where she’s at now. It may look “kooky” to others, as Landsverk likes to say but this art form helps to shape who she is.

Landsverk believes that tattoos impact people’s identities and how others see them “for the good and the bad.” People can become more in touch with themselves or express themselves through physical imagery, she believes. Those with sentimental tattoos also may feel a stronger connection with that token and with themselves. Similar to wearing your feelings on your sleeve, tattoos map out a person’s journey of their life.

On the flip side, Landsverk mentions that others can be judgmental of those with tattoos, no matter their reason. It can be “for having too many or because employers don’t like them.” Society has come a long way from judging people with tattoos instantaneously, but some people still have deep biases.

Olivia Cooper, a senior English education student at Millikin, has gotten the majority of her tattoos from Oakwood. Much like Landsverk, she believes that tattoos help shape a person and add to their overall identity.

Cooper has four tattoos; three out of the four hold a deep meaning to her. Tattoos influence how she sees herself and how others see her. “When I see myself with tattoos, I feel confident or just enjoy myself. I represent what I put on my body, and I think other people should take note of that,” she says. She further explains that tattoos are a great way for people to express themselves, and that tattoos as a whole can tell great stories far beyond a first glance. Aside

Tea Landsverk

Olivia Cooper

Tea Landsverk

from her cactus and desert design, Cooper’s tattoos are quotes and dates, reminders of different stages throughout her life. She says, “I think that tattoos allow for people to share their identity out in the open and wear it proudly.”

Just as people can have tattoos for different reasons, they can also have different perspectives on how tattoos connect to their identities. For instance, my brother, Aiden Schlesinger, thinks that “tattoos are just tattoos.”

Schlesinger has three tattoos from a couple different shops in Bloomington, Illinois.

Two of his tattoos have more meaning than the third. These two are in remembrance of our father, who passed away. Even with the meaning behind these tattoos, he still says, “They don’t shape me, but I also don’t care about what other people

think about them.” He got his two most important tattoos “somewhat” as a reminder, but mostly because he simply liked them.

While Schlesinger may not believe his tattoos shape him, he still thinks they influence how others view him as a person. His most personal tattoo is spread out across his chest, but a half sleeve from his wrist to his elbow is much more visible and is equally important to him. He explains that being around authority figures is a little nervewracking at times because they may think that a lot of tattoos equate to being a sketchy person.

Interactions with people vary based on when Schlesinger doesn’t show his tattoos versus when he does. Some conversations about his tattoos have brought Schlesinger closer with people in his life. Sometimes, it has done the opposite. However, his friends don’t care much either way. He says, “I have friends who don’t ask about them, but that doesn’t make them any less my friends.”

Tattoos give their viewers a glimpse of a person’s life. Sometimes are judged harshly or misunderstood for that, but tattoos become a part of you the moment the ink hits the skin. Wear your tattoos with pride, because no one else has gone through your journey except you. As Landsverk says, “Tattoos can be a mask, but they can also help take off a mask.”

Aiden Schlesinger

Olivia Cooper

Hannah Roberts

Not Just Pink

By: Eden Niebrugge

For generations, women have traversed the patriarchal standpoint of femininity with little say on their experiences. Society’s evolving expectations transform girlhood, sisterhood and womanhood into unique experiences.

Womanhood is angry, screaming at the world, “Why do you treat me like this?” But it doesn’t have to be. It can be soft, doting on friends with compliments and tight hugs. Neither of these are exact definitions of womanhood. They’re two sides on a multi-faced coin, offering a chance to women who disagree or conform with society to experience womanhood. If you don’t want it to, womanhood doesn’t have to mean anything to you.

To individuals with other identities, womanhood can be overbearing. To Lily Bryson, a musical theater major at Millikin University who uses she/they pronouns, looking like a woman overshadows the other roles in their life. As a romantic partner, Bryson makes herself smaller and caters to her boyfriend’s needs like most women are expected to by society. As a performer, she’s expected to “agree to everything, be happy and polite all of the time.” Bryson’s identities as a partner and performer are often

outshined by her femininity; today’s culture requires her to behave in certain ways. And Bryson is not alone in this battle.

Olivia Swords, a Millikin student with majors in history, English, and philosophy on the pre-law track, says that unless a woman has a particular mindset about bonding with other women, she might be left out of it. To Swords, womanhood is empowerment when fellow sisters develop “their own idea of individuality and identity.” Society and other women expect that, if a woman is breaking into a maledominated field, she should be leading the way for other women. However, this isn’t true at all and only adds on another layer to an oversized load of expectations. Women should understand that each person has their unique experiences, and empowerment is not always the correct answer to every solution.

The double standards and expectations placed on women continue to influence girls as they grow older. To Bryson, women have come so far in the battle for rights but are still expected to “shoulder the brunt of the housework” while maintaining their collegiate work and careers.

Many young girls watch as their mothers are subjected to unfair treatment that damages their aspirations. The expectations of raising the kids, doing the housework, keeping up with personal dreams and working at the same time puts a mental load on them. The dads? They can advance wherever they’d like. The Second Shift hinders women’s careers and family lives, according to multiple articles by Penn State. While this is true in most cases, some women enjoy motherhood and its responsibilities. Jessica Niebrugge, a teacher and my mother, chose to stay home for eight years with her kids, which pushed her

career back, but she “enjoyed helping them grow.” The expectations of womanhood suited her interests well, which is also okay for women to want.

The empowerment and voice we have now brings “benefit and detriment,” Swords says. Women have gained empowerment over the years, but we’ve also lost recent battles. Bryson notices how the world favors men over women, particularly in contraceptives. Birth control made for men hasn’t been released due to the side effects, which significantly resemble the side effects for women. Roe v. Wade is another instance of a detriment, where women lost the rights to their bodies in some states. The word “period” is banned in schools in Florida, and books on gender and sexual identity are withheld from classrooms.

While society continues to restrain women, the expectations have relaxed in the last 60 years. Judy Burkett, a retiree and grandmother,

recollects her experiences as a girl. She says the media “always pushed how women should be sexy, even in the ‘60s.” Because of this unreal expectation, women were made out to seem helpless and in need of a husband.

Womanhood was a different time in the ‘60s, but if women want to move forward, we have to keep looking back to see our advancements, no matter how little.

As times have changed, Burkett now sees empowerment in that “not everything is solved by a man.”

Women should find strength in themselves through their personalities, skills, and specialties.

The expectations for straight, cis-gendered women are frustrating, unreasonable, and prejudiced. However, the world isn’t just straight, cisgendered women. Bryson identifies as bisexual and “doesn’t feel like a woman all the time.” Because they were raised female, they feel more connected to girlhood than womanhood,

even though society forces them to experience both based on their appearance and relationships.

Women with non-straight sexualities, such as bisexual, asexual, lesbian or others, are frequently excluded from sisterhood as the patriarchy sustains female friendships in queer women’s lives. It stresses the idea that, to connect with other women, your life has to be sustained by men, according to a 2015 Everyday Feminist article. By simply appearing feminine, people are pressured into the good and bad of womanhood with the added hostile reactions of homophobia or transphobia.

Womanhood, sisterhood, and girlhood are subjective to the person experiencing them, and we can’t blame each other for their opinions on it. Rather than supporting one idea, our viewpoints should include a variety if we truly want to understand womanhood. While our clothes certainly try to pretend it, womanhood is not one-size-fits-all.

Womanhood is...

“Maternal, Self-Sacrificing, Invisible”

Lily Bryson, she/they

“Dignity, Motherhood, Daughter”

Shaina Yumol, she/her

“Strength, Individuality, Resilience”

Olivia Swords, she/her

“Growing Up, Struggle, Responsibility”

Leah Flint, she/her

“Becoming Oneself, Growing, Independence”

Judy Burkett, she/her

“Change, Societal Limitations, Empowered”

Jessica Niebrugge, she/her

NEXT STOP: DECATUR’S PAST

By: Daniel J. Peters

Decatur’s illustrious history is reflected in distinguishable landmarks that highlight the city.

Pictured: Decatur Transfer House

“It’s fairly unique to the town and was one of the first of its kind to be built,” says Nathan Pierce, the executive director of the Macon County Historical Museum, when asked about the prominence of the Transfer House in Central Park compared to other Decatur landmarks. Built in 1895 by architect William W. Boyington, the Transfer House is not only one of Decatur’s most distinguished landmarks but is also displayed on the official city symbol. While many local residents immediately recognize the building’s iconic red roof and octagonal shape, very few know the major roles that the Transfer House has played throughout history.

For many years, the Transfer House served as the center point of

Decatur’s public transit system. This was a time when most residents relied on public transit to get around the city. As one of the panels at the Macon County History Museum explains that the building served “as the main transportation center for transferring trolley, inner-urban and bus passengers around the community.” This system of electric trolleys and buses that utilized the Transfer House as their hub cemented the red-roofed building as the heart of Decatur. With the Transfer House’s sheer accessibility to anyone and everyone, it ended up serving a major role in public and civic living. During the daily hustle, local bands would play from the Transfer House’s open-air bandstand, located on the building’s

second floor. Similarly, the octagonal shape and accessibility of the Transfer House made it the top choice for public speeches and events. The Transfer House’s second floor even served as the podium for three US Presidents, with speeches by William Taft, Woodrow Wilson and Theodore Roosevelt delivered from the Transfer House.

By the 1960s, the Transfer House had stopped serving its original purpose. In 1962, the City of Decatur moved the Transfer House from Lincoln Square to Central Park, where it remains today. While the building no longer serves its original purpose, the red roof still reminds city residents of a time when Decatur was more prosperous.

The Macon County Historical Museum offers visitors a variety of engaging and educational displays, just a short drive from Millikin’s campus. The museum covers a wide range of Decatur history from the city’s own Hi-Flyer Kite Company to the founding of Millikin University. Visitors can tour a log cabin courthouse where a young Abraham Lincoln practiced law. Saturday museum-goers may even meet the museum’s unofficial mascot, General Ike the Dachshund, who is always eager to greet guests.

Decatur Transfer House (Central Park)

Macon County Historical Museum (5580 N. Fork Rd.)

“We think it’s a very important piece of Decatur history that was worth restoring for people living in town and for the people who worked the Wabash,” says Kim Aukamp, who runs the Wabash Depot Antique Centre. Aukamp’s wonderfully unique antique store operates out of the now defunct Wabash Train Depot. First opened in 1901 and built by architect Theodore Link, the rustic train station preserves an illustrious, yet short-lived, era in Decatur’s history. The depot is an often overlooked local landmark despite playing a pivotal role in shaping Decatur.

Few locals realize the transformative role that the railways played in the city’s development, especially at the turn of the twentieth century. The depot was

the best of Decatur’s train stations and the only station that remains standing. During the Depot’s prime, Decatur’s tracks weren’t solely supporting freight trains, as they do today, but also supported numerous passenger cars, with upwards of 72 passenger trains passing through the town in one day. The railroads brought more than just passengers to Decatur.

As the Wabash Depot Antique Centre’s official statement explains, “Wabash Railroad was at one time the largest employer in the city. In 1927, 3500 were employed.” The statement also makes note of President Theodore Roosevelt’s speech in front of the depot in 1903, as well as the brief visit President Dwight Eisenhower made to Decatur through the railway.

In the 1980s after the last passenger trains ran through the Depot the building was used for storage. Then, in 2002, after two years of repair and restoration by Kim Aukamp’s mother and father, the station officially reopened to the public as the Wabash Depot Antique Center. For the past 21 years, the Antique Centre has kept the Wabash, as well as other pieces of local history, alive.

Thrifters and shoppers will find an arrangement of Decatur history, from vintage Wabash memorabilia to Transfer House postcards and a variety of other local artifacts. While the trains that pass behind the Wabash no longer bring passengers into town via the Depot, its memories still serve as reminders of the town’s prosperous past.

The Wabash Depot (780 E. Cerro Gordo Street)

Students Run Millikin

By: Shaina Yumol

Millikin University has several job opportunities for students on campus, whether in tutoring, admin, clerical or operations for various buildings and departments. To keep the college running, student workers must stay involved sometimes in low-paying and demotivating jobs.

At Millikin University, students run the show literally and figuratively. Every building at Millikin offers employment for students. Student workers float around the University Commons (U.C.), Kirkland Fine Arts Center (K.F.A.C.) and Gorin Hall doing their jobs. From managing the U.C.’s Welcome Center to ushering K.F.A.C.’s jaw-dropping shows, the students mold Millikin’s public image. Campus job descriptions include a list of requirements like any other hiring position. It’s a commitment and a responsibility to show up and complete tasks that influence the future of Millikin students and faculty. If a tutor refuses to teach, that resource will no longer aid students; then, the need for that campus job will dwindle.

Many first-year students are offered the opportunity to work whether or not they are eligible for the federal work-study program via their financial aid award. The jobs provide students with transferable skills, experience for their resumes and the chance to collect extra cash. Most student workers earn money

to help pay for their tuition and daily needs, such as food or gas.

Ladapa Chalermnon, a senior international student, passionately says that “student work at Millikin could be better.” Money is a right for the labor that students do, but with the current payment, we adopt the mentality of “I don’t get paid enough.” The job responsibilities exceed what students are paid for.

At Millikin, student workers are legally paid below Illinois’ 2024 minimum wage of $14 an hour. The normal rate for most student workers, like ushers, is $10.25, while student tutors make $11 due to the skills necessary to teach without a degree.

Being a student worker has challenges, such as balancing academics and social life. The Student Success Center, along with professors, tell prospective students and the community that they put the “student” in student worker first. Education should come first, yet that can’t always be the case. Life and school require sacrifices that all must make in college, but a job adds

another weight to students who need the money.

Emma Mcmanus, a student worker for K.F.A.C. and a class-specific tutor, says, “There is an imperfect balance of group effort and sacrifice.” To the students, it’s choosing what’s more important: money or academics. Without scholarships, Millikin’s cost of tuition exceeds what most young adults can pay. Sometimes, the money comes first to stay enrolled.

For Chalermnon, she tries to go with the flow. “Whatever comes, it comes. Whatever is more important,” she says. Lapada feels her work-life balance ismore open, rather than a scale to keep steady. She utilizes her free time effectively by taking up jobs or hanging out with friends based on whatever opportunity arises.

However, Chalermnon expresses frustration with the low pay, saying, “It’s an insult to a student’s ability.” International students often work long hours beyond their scheduled shifts, sometimes unpaid, due to visa restrictions and financial needs.

While she can’t speak for everyone, the quality of life and experience could be better for every student worker. “Campus should provide benefits to student workers, not just take advantage of their labor, as they are paying expensive tuition and deserve to be treated fairly,” says Chalermnon.More time off and an understanding of a student’s workload in classes and work would ease the stress of daily tasks.

Every job has complications and situational disadvantages; however, adaptability is necessary for daily tasks in certain positions. As a tutor for the Writing Center, Sophie Nicholson adapts to each student’s unique needs and challenges in real time by improvising and learning on the fly. Interpersonal skills are not something taught for the job but something students develop that will come in handy in future endeavors.

The Writing Center employs qualified scholars to work with

other students in need of writing assistance. “Sometimes, people need guidance and need someone to help them tackle problems together,” Nicholson says. Other academic tutoring departments share this similar goal of guiding students, which is why on-the-spot adaptability is strongly preferred for these positions.

Nicholson expresses her concern with the phrase “student worker” and her identity around it. She says, “I think being a student and a worker is tough because your number one commitment should be academics, but you also have this other big responsibility on your shoulders. I try to give myself grace.”

Since the emphasis is on “student” in “student worker,” most employers schedule around their classes but not their other commitments. A job is another expectation added to the whirlwind of relationships, grades,

extracurriculars and more, creating a confusing identity conflict at times.

On the other hand, one of the many perks of being a student worker on a small campus is that everyone knows each other. People make an effort to know you, and a community forms. If needed, other students are there to cover shifts, providing a safety net for last-minute schedule changes.

More often than not, students work at their colleges to pay off tuition, loans and daily necessities. On top of the low pay and expectation that students should be enthusiastic about their jobs, the balancing act of maintaining academics, work, extracurriculars and relationships can be too overwhelming for some. Millikin has great students who are willing to run the show. To create a more accessible environment for student workers, we need to work together.

A CAPELLA ON CAMPUS

For most singers, performing without instruments is a pain. For Dissonance, it’s an artform.

By: Sophie Nicholson

Singing is a vulnerable thing. Singing for the purpose of being judged is a challenge. Add in a lack of accompaniment, and even accomplished singers will feel daunted. These are the circumstances under which Dissonance, Millikin University’s mixed voice a cappella group, compete in the annual International Championship of Collegiate A Cappella (ICCA).

Although senior vocal music major Cora Carr rarely experiences stage fright, they felt very nervous for their first time performing at the ICCAs last year. “I had, like, an outof-body experience,” she says. “But it gave us a good adrenaline rush to go up on that big stage and be like, we can do this.”

Dissonance is entirely student-run and performs largely pop music, a rarity among the many vocal groups on campus. Though the group was formed less than a decade ago, its ethos perfectly complements the principles

on which Millikin was founded. Dissonance provides invaluable performance learning opportunities and encourages collaboration while also celebrating its members’ individuality.

Indigo Egger, thelogistical director of Dissonance, highlights the benefits that Dissonance brings to campus as an alternative to the traditional choir. “I came to Millikin to sing popular music because that’s the kind of thing I’m interested in. And outside of the classes that you take for the commercial music major, there’s not really an ensemble setting where you get to explore that kind of music except for Dissonance,” Egger says. “It’s the only thing that allows people to explore the kind of music most of us actually listen to in our spare time.”

However, singing a cappella is no easy feat. A typical choir has four vocal parts, but Dissonance has six. Dissonance rehearses extensively each school year to prepare for competitions and their on-campus performances. The group also provides opportunities for students to orchestrate vocal instruction, which is rarely offered at the collegiate level. Tyler Dooley, a senior vocal music education major, was Dissonance’s music director from 2022–2023. The role is incredibly demanding, as the music director must know all the parts, be able to sing them on command, and have an

expressive style for each piece. “Dissonance has been the most rewarding musical experience of my life. I wouldn’t feel like I had the comfortability to direct if it wasn’t for the people in the room giving me the chance to make mistakes and figure it out,” Dooley says.

Egger has also learned a lot from his experience with Dissonance, having worked on a variety of musical arrangements for his performances. The opportunity has pushed him to become a composer. “It helps you fine-tune your writing skills because you get to see how people learn your arrangements,” Egger says.

Despite all the intensive effort the members pour into their organization, the group isn’t all work and no play. Dooley makes an effort to preserve opportunities for fun and connection within the group. “I do not lead a professional rehearsal ... There is laughing and yelling and just having a good time making music together. It’s the most stressful part of my week and the most rewarding at the same time. I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” Dooley says.

Group rehearsals can also be a place to de-stress when members are burnt out. Mackenzie Mann, the president of Dissonance, explains the wonderful support network that the close-knit group provides. “Sometimes in rehearsals, I’ll just close my eyes and listen to all the sounds that are going on around me. And it’s just such a nice feeling to be able to look around at all of

these amazing people and make this beautiful music,” she says.

This support system was especially crucial to Egger coming in as a freshman during the pandemic. When opportunities for socializing were scarce, Egger found a home with Dissonance. “It’s one of the only academic group settings I’m in that actually feels like a family. It’s an environment of love and support and everyone wants to see you succeed. Everybody wants to make you feel like you belong,” Egger says.

Dissonance is all about acceptance. Egger and Dooley, who both identify as nonbinary, say the group has offered a unique opportunity for members to explore gender-affirming vocal parts. Several singers in the group sing vocal parts outside the categories they’re usually placed in based on sex. “Traditionally, there’s no room for you to voice that you feel uncomfortable in your

position,” Dooley says. “But I always say that if you have a problem with anything at all, please come to me and we will figure it out.”

Early in his transition, Egger took advantage of this opportunity. Though Egger is an alto in university choir, he sings tenor in Dissonance. “Dissonance has been a really good space to try that out,” Egger says. “There’s more of a priority for other people’s comfort because of that understanding of shared experience.”

Though the interconnectedness of the group proves essential to its functioning, even more important to the group’s continued success is the support they receive from the broader Millikin community.

Dissonance performs their main show, “Dissonance Extended,” once a semester. Attendance and ticket sales for their shows are crucial, as this allows Millikin to continue competing in the ICCAs. The

competition includes lots of larger schools that can make Dissonance feel like the underdog. Although Millikin didn’t win last year, the group still found a lot of value in the experience. “Even though we didn’t win any awards, we won in spirit because we really bonded from that and had a lot of fun,” Carr says. Carr is optimistic about Dissonance’s future success in the competition. “In 2019, Dissonance made it to the ICCA semifinals and won best choreography and a bunch of other awards,” they say, “so I know we can get to that point again.”

Dissonance has made an impact at Millikin with their vibrant pop performances. They hope to continue showing off their talent, both on campus and at the ICCAs. Support your campus a cappella group by coming to “Dissonance Extended” every semester.

Unforeseen financal decisions, clique friendships and burdensome academics pull students into the ground, but how can we save ourselves?

College Burnout

College Burnout

By: Eden Niebrugge

By : Eden Niebrugge

A blank document glares over a textbook in front of you. Your heavy head rests in your hand. The words start to blur together into one overwhelming paragraph. The library’s motion-sensor lights flicker off, and you realize you’ve been sitting too still for too long. It’s 11:50 p.m. You have 10 minutes to write a 2,500 word midterm.

How did you get to this point?

Burnout. Every person has lived it — the insufferable stage fright of life. Humans simply aren’t made to experience multiple overwhelming events all at once. It impacts one’s ability to do anything, from basic hygiene to job tasks to thinking straight.

Everyone defines burnout differently, but it typically causes “a sharp change in behavior,” says Dr. Michael Hartsock, the director of Millikin University’s honors program.

Lindsay Marion, a secondyear student at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign (UIUC), notices she “has no motivation to do anything and even easy work is difficult to get done” when she feels burnt out. Her entire life’s work is her classes, and she spends

nearly “50 hours a week” dedicated to her studies as a biochemistry major. Burnout is simply a part of her life.

To some, college life doesn’t live up to expectations. Anna Schmidt, a college dropout, noticed the people around her became distant towards her after dropping out. She says, “My parents are a little disappointed in me.” She struggled with major burnout in her first year of college,

Identify that you are burnt out, and that’s okay.

making everyday tasks too daunting to complete.

While Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Missouri, provides free counseling services, Schmidt says, “They were solution-based. They didn’t want you to stay for long-term problems.” The counselors were graduate students, stressed about their own grades. Schmidt found no comfort in these services, traveling off-campus to find help.

Millikin University provides free counseling like Lindenwood, but they offer professional counselors and psychiatrists on campus for any problem. Public Safety also assists with immediate health needs by providing wellness checks, a safety app, and car rides around campus. Hartsock believes all universities could do more for their students. He says, “The support necessary might be so diverse that any institution could have a difficult time to have all the resources in any situation.” Colleges simply can’t offer every student a solution — it’s part of adulthood. However, colleges are known for “overprogramming students or driving them into spreading themselves too thin,” Hartsock says.

The overprogramming leads students into a strict routine that counseling, as good or poor as it may be, could be hard to fit into someone’s schedule. But there’s more than just classes and clubs. The academic, financial and social pressures of universities strain students’ mental health.

Schmidt believes her biggest reason for dropping out is the lack

What is burnout to you?

Lindsay Marion: “I have no motivation to do anything and even easy work is difficult to get myself to do.”

Anna Schmidt: “I define burnout as my inability to continually finish the tasks that are required to be an adult or be alive. My basic hygiene.”

Dr. Michael Hartsock: “In myself, I might use that term to describe feeling overwhelmed by work but to the point where I can’t figure out where to start.”

of support. She says, “Friends give you a backbone and support system, which I didn’t have.”

Social groups in college can resemble the typical high school cliques, with every major blossoming together and pushing others away. When you’re a first-year, these groups overlap in general education classes but struggle to stay connected over time.

Hartsock says, “Universities tend to emphasize quantity engagement over quality engagement,” which is why a lot of students become burnt out due to over-joining activities. A student can jump at any and every opportunity, but they ultimately spread themselves too thin, doing poorly at it all.

Marion finds herself struggling with society outside of her college life. She gets overwhelmed by her research but also “the future, economy and government.” Her impact on the economy and her future alongside paying her public tuition pressures her daily. Ever since tuition has been rising, it’s something students focus on more.

In the school year of 1995–1996, four-year public and private

universities averaged $2,848 and $12,243 in tuition respectively without room, board and textbooks, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. Meanwhile, in 2021–2022, four-year public colleges cost $9,700 and private universities charge $38,800 on average. Tuition alone more than tripled in 26 years, not preparing anyone to save up enough money.

While tuition rises, young adults have hardly seen an increase in minimum wage since 1996 — a raise from $4.75 to $7.25 hourly, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. Even if young adults today work three minimum wage jobs alongside their classes like their parents might have, it still wouldn’t be enough to keep up.

Students who don’t qualify for loans or scholarships, pay out-ofstate tuition or don’t have parents saving up for them have it worse. College burnout isn’t simply academics. It encompasses a world of stressors unfamiliar to most of Gen Z’s parents. But there are some ways to help yourself if you experience burnout.

For starters, taking care of yourself is the most important way to heal burnout, whether that be mentally or physically. Look at your college’s free counseling services, treat yourself to a nice meal, or take a long shower. Identify that you are burnt out, and that’s okay. Next, talk to your professors for academic solutions. Dr. Hartsock believes, “Sometimes, it’s as easy as adjusting a due date in a way that makes students feel better.”

Marion helps herself with burnout by “taking lots of breaks. I don’t overwork myself if possible.” She utilizes self-care and napping as a means to recover. For weekly solutions, she enacts “no homework on Fridays” to give her social life more attention.

There’s not a lot you can do when a 2,500-word midterm paper is due in 10 minutes, and you haven’t typed a single word. It’s not worth the exhaustion and burnout to sit in the library overnight, typing out an already-late paper either. Even though it’s late, ask for an extension anyways. Then, walk home safely and give yourself a break.

The Identity Playlist: The Inner & Outer Self

BY: LILY BRYSON

For decades, singer-songwriters have been using music to express their truest selves in the form of personal confessions and fictionalized scenarios. The songs below, all self-written, explore various facets of identity. Through them, listeners can find glimpses of themselves.

“I Am a Rock”

by Simon & Garfunkel (1966)

From Simon & Garfunkel’s seminal album “The Sound of Silence,” “I Am A Rock” is the perspective of a jaded man who believes isolation prevents pain. The simple guitar accompaniment and the characteristic harmonies underscore an unusual rhyme scheme, illustrating the scar tissue that the narrator has formed around his tenderness: “I won’t disturb the slumber / Of feelings that have died.”

“Anti-Hero”

by Taylor Swift (2022)

The first single from Swift’s album “Midnights,” which she described as “a journey of terrors and sweet dreams,” is a catalog of the writer’s faults laid out over a pop groove. Swift is notoriously diaristic, writing about her life openly and unflinchingly. “Anti-Hero” is an acknowledgement of her honesty about facets of her life to avoid real reflection: “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror.”

“My Life”

by Billy Joel (1978)

Joel’s characteristic jazz-inflected piano chords and airy vocals accompany a rejection of outside interference as he asserts ownership over his existence: “...sooner or later you sleep in your own space / Either way, it’s okay, you wake up with yourself.” Joel acknowledges that, to an observer, his life may not be the picture of success as depicted in the typical American Dream, but it’s his regardless.

“Crooked Tree” by Molly Tuttle (2022)

The narrator of “Crooked Tree” celebrates the uniqueness of a curving, uneven tree trunk by saving it from the greedy hands of humankind. Tuttle sings, “A river never wonders why it flows around the bend / A mountain doesn’t question how it rose up from the land,” painting a vivid image of nature’s grandeur, before asking the listener: “So who am I to wish I wasn’t just the way I am?”

Listen to the playlist (and bonus tracks) here:

“Hold On, Hold On” by Neko Case (2006)

This confessional song from Neko Case peeks into the mind of a woman who gives too much and leaves nothing for herself, retreating from self-awareness out of discomfort with herself. When not drifting between relationships, she self-medicates to numb the realization of her isolation. Case’s voice thrums with pain as she sings, lamenting her inability to live up to the societal ideal of femininity.

“Secrets from a Girl

(Who’s Seen it All)” by Lorde (2021)

Many of Lorde’s initial hits were written when she was barely a teen. This song, the closing track on her third album Solar Power, is a heartfelt letter to youthful ambitions. “Your dreams and inner visions / All your mystical ambitions, they won’t let you down,” Lorde promises, “Everybody wants the best for you / But you gotta want it for yourself, my love.”

BURST

A Millikin University student-produced magazine