Volume 43 • Number 3 • Feb. 1, 2019
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Feb.19-MKT-011 1, 2019 February Military Press Print Ad_Military Press_HRR1-1.indd
www.militarypress.com • firstname.lastname@example.org 1/9/19 4:03 PM
Would the comedy of Don Rickles and Johnny Carson have survived in today’s politically correct climate? Probably not.
What happened to our sense of humor?
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS MEANS NO ONE IS FUNNY
rectness is cultural Marxism,” and that ing in a very short period of time. “its trademark is intolerance.”
Death of Comedy
The original purpose of comedy was to shed light on the very real issues that he term political correctness with the ultimate goal of undermining plague society. It is a humorous way of facing the less-than-humorous facts of (adjectivally: politically cor- Judeo-Christian values. Political correctness actually be- life. Political correctness restricts our rect; commonly abbreviated gan as an in-joke on the ability to face these realities, and by conPC) is used to left: Radical students on describe language, poliAmerican campuses actcies, or measures that are ing out an ironic replay intended to avoid offense of the Bad Old Days BS or disadvantage to memPOINT (Before the Sixties) when bers of particular groups every revolutionary had in society. Since the late a party line about every1980s, the term has come thing. They would ad- sequence to find humor in them. to refer to avoiding landress some glaring exguage or behavior that For the entire history of humankind amples of sexist or racist the funniest stories, jokes and anecdotes can be seen as excluding, behavior by their fellow have typically been at the expense of othmarginalizing, or insultstudents in imitation of er people. Political correctness prohibits ing groups of people conthe tone of voice of the making “fun” of any person unless that sidered disadvantaged or Red Guards or Cultural person is a straight white male. No other discriminated against, esRichard T. Matz Revolution Commissar: category of human being can be made pecially groups defined by “Not very ‘politically cor- fun if without someone crying “foul!” sex or race. rect’, Comrade!” Conservative commenComedians that want to prosper will Conservative commen- be forced, therefore, to only prey on tators in the West argue that “political correctness” and mul- tator Patrick Buchanan wrote in “The straight, white males for their comedic ticulturalism are part of a conspiracy Death of the West” that “political cor- material. That is going to get very bor-
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Our beloved and most humorous comedians (Johnny Carson, Richard Prior, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Rodney Dangerfield, Dean Martin, Jack Benny, Buddy Hackett and countless other stand-up comedians) would be ostracized in today’s PC climate. When you
Comedians that want to prosper will be forced... to only prey on straight, white males...
think of Carson’s “Tonight Show” and all the other late night TV shows — that was entertainment! The late night shows now are nothing but “let’s see how we can denigrate President Trump.” This isn’t entertainment. It’s “Let’s show the rest of the world how we can belittle the president and the presidency of the United States!” Richard Matz is the publisher of the Military Press. Send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Feb. 1, 2019 1
THE SWISS ADVENTURE BEGINS
SWITZERLAND Part 1
By Howard Hian Military Press
delweiss Air’s seasonal San Diego to Zurich non-stop flight follows Archimedes’ rule: The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The plane was comfortable and the crew friendly and attentive. There were free movies galore, plus plenty of good food and a wide assortment of beverages. The Zurich airport is well marked and passport control was efficient. After a long travel day, passing through several time zones, it’s important to keep moving until bedtime in a new location. We immediately hopped on a train (the station is connected to the airport) for a quick trip to our first stop, Schaffhausen. It is near the German border and home to Europe’s largest waterfall. We checked into the arcona Living Hotel, centrally located across from the depot, and finished the evening with a delightful dinner at Restaurant Guterhof. The following day we were off to explore, led by local guide Patricia Seif. The visit to Rhine Falls was our first glimpse of the spectacular landscape that is the allure of Switzerland. On the way back, Patricia ran into a friend who was testing an 11-person, driverless mini bus. We were treated to a trial run. A short train ride to St. Gallen was next. Although we got off at the wrong station, it led to the first of two delightful interactions, leaving us with a wonderful impression of Swiss hospitality and friendliness.
2 Feb. 1, 2019
The Chapel Bridge (above) is one of the great landmarks in Luzern, Switzerland. Schaffhausen, near the border with Germany, is home to the Rhine Falls (below), Europe’s largest waterfall. Getting around in Switzerland is truly an adventure with driverless buses (below left).
After asking for directions from a group of retirees at a local bar, one of the men insisted on driving us. He pointed to his tiny car, we loaded our luggage, got in and drove off. Our destination, the Hotel Einstein Congress, was 20 minutes away. After unpacking, we planned to walk to dinner. Once outside, we unfolded a city map and tried to get our bearings (map reading is not my strong suit). Almost immediately, a man approached us and asked if we needed help. He insisted on escorting us to the restaurant, explaining that his wife told him he wasn’t good with verbal directions. Twice in the same day we had to “depend on the kindness of strangers.” In the morning, we took a quick train ride to St.Gallen Haggen for a scenic uphill hike to Three Ponds. At the top, we popped into Dreillinden for lunch. Returning to town, we visited the historic Textile Museum. The hip, sleek LOKAL (previously a train roundhouse) was recommended for dinner and did not disappoint — great vibe, attentive
wait staff and an eclectic menu. It was time to move on and the Voralpen Express zipped us to Lucerne (Luzern) in two and half hours. The train was fairly empty and the conductor regaled us with stories of travelers he had encountered. We also met a young American woman taking a gap semester from college. She ended up hanging out with us once we got to Luzern. Just a few minutes walk from the station, our home for the next couple of days was the Hotel Waldstatterhof. Rebecca Gisler was our guide, and without her we would have missed a lot of the wonderful history of this fantastic city. Coincidently, it was the 150th anniversary of Queen Victoria’s first visit to Luzern. The Monarch stayed for six weeks and set off a tourist boom that continues today.
Here are a few of the landmarks: the Chapel Bridge, Lion Monument, Old Town and the Rosengart Collection. Take the Golden Round Trip Cruise on Lake Lucerne to Alpnachstad. Once there, don’t miss riding the scenic cogwheel to the hiking trails at Pilatus Kulm — return via gondola. It’s an unforgettable outing. Next Month: The adventure continues, featuring Interlaken, Geneva, Lausanne and Montreux.
Travel information and tips
Logon to www.FlyEdelweiss.com for their complete schedule and cities served. The Grand Train Tour of Switzerland’s website is the place to go for inSwiss adventure, continued on Page 9
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SUPER BOWL LIII
NFL Admits blown call
Rams cheerleaders making nfl history
istory will be made Sunday at the Super Bowl, but it will happen on the sidelines, not on the field. That’s where you’ll spot Quinton Peron and Napoleon Jinnies when the New England Patriots take on the Los Angeles Rams in Super Bowl LIII in Atlanta. Peron and Jinnies will be the first male cheerleaders at the Super Bowl in NFL history, cheering for the Rams alongside their female counterparts. The men already made history at the start of this season when they — along with dancer Jesse Hernandez of the New Orleans Saints’ cheerleading squad — became the first male cheerleaders in league history. In a tweet last week after his Rams secured a spot in the big game, Peron sent out a shout out to his squadmate. “Napoleon, you think Atlanta is ready for us?” Peron tweeted. “NAHHHHHH. We’re going to the Super Bowl!” The men, both dancers, made the Rams cheerleading squad back in March. Jinnies called making the team
a “humbling and amazing” experience. Peron said there wasn’t a good reason for him not to try out for the squad. “I was at (an L.A.) Lakers game (right before making the team) and I was watching the Laker Girls,” Peron told “Good Morning America” last summer, “and I was asking myself, ‘Why can’t I be down there?’ I’ve choreographed for girls who dance on pro teams, I’ve danced with girls on various pro teams. I just thought, ‘why not me?’” Other teams, like the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens, have had stuntmen before, USA Today reported, but Peron and Jinnies danced alongside their female teammates and did the same moves during the season. Peron and Jinnies’ success inspired 25-year-old Jesse Hernandez to try out for the New Orleans Saints’ Saintsations cheerleading team. He told CNN affiliate KATC that his mom sent him a link with their story. “She told me it was my time to shine,” he said in a video posted before his final audition.
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Los Angeles Rams CB Nickell Robey-Coleman breaks up a pass intended or New Orleans Saints WR Tommylee Lewis during the NFC Championship, Jan. 20.
OFFICIALS ‘ARE HUMAN’ Eight days after a blown call helped shape the outcome of the NFC Championship Game, the NFL finally acknowledged its mistake in an official capacity. In a court document filed Jan. 27, lawyers for the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell wrote they “do not dispute” what Saints coach Sean Payton told reporters after the game — that the league called him and admitted the officiating error shortly after New Orleans’ 26-23 overtime loss. “Because the officials on the field are humans, like the players and coaches, errors will happen,” the league’s lawyers wrote. “The NFL parties do not dispute that they have previously advised the Saints, including the club’s head coach, that one or more penalties — for pass interference or illegal helmet-to-helmet contact — were mistakenly not called late in the NFC Championship Game, and that the NFL would like its officials
on the field to make these calls. “This was acknowledged immediately after the game to the coach of the New Orleans Saints by NFL Senior Vice President of Officiating Al Riveron.” The NFL’s acknowledgment came in a brief filed by New Orleans law firm Jones, Swanson, Huddell & Garrison in response to a lawsuit filed by two Saints season ticket holders. The league had declined to publicly own up to the error in the days after the game, prompting criticism from media members and current and former players, including Saints tight end Benjamin Watson. NBC Sports reported that Payton has privately “urged the NFL to ‘show some leadership’” and issue a statement about the missed call. In its brief, the league also argues that Goodell does not have author-
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Blown call, continued on Page 9
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Feb. 1, 2019 3
‘We cannot ask Americans to be better citizens if we are not better servants.’ Bill Clinton 42nd. U.S. President Served Jan. 20, 1993 – Jan. 20, 2001
the Alfred P. Murra ry Nichols set off a bomb at Timothy McVeigh and Ter . ple peo ma City, killing 168 Federal Building in Oklaho
45th. U.S. Vice President Served Jan. 20, 1993 – Jan. 20, 2001
• The World Trade Organization (WTO) is established Jan. 1 to replace the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT). • President Bill Clinton invokes emergency powers, to extend a $20 billion loan to help Mexico avert financial collapse Jan. 31. • Members of the Aum Shinrikyo religious cult release sarin gas on 5 subway trains in Tokyo on March 20, killing 13
and injuring 5,510. 11 of the principal activists are hanged in 2018. • Cosmonaut Valeri Polyakov returns March 22 after setting a record for 438 days in outer space. • Iraq admits for first time the existence of an offensive biological weapons program July 1, but denies weaponization. • Units of the Army of Republika Srpska, under the command of General Ratko Mladic, enter Srebrenica, Bosnia and Herzegovina, July 11 with little resistance from Dutch peacekeepers of the United Nations Protection Force, going on to kill thousands of Bosniak men and boys and rape many women.
“Toy Story” hi
• President Clinton announces the restoration of United States–Vietnam relations July 11, 20 years after the Vietnam War. • The NATO bombing campaign against Bosnian Serb artillery positions begins Aug. 30 in Bosnia and Herzegovina, continuing into September. • Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin is assassinated at a peace rally Nov. 4 in Tel Aviv. • The presidents of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia sign a peace treaty Dec. 14 in Paris, ending a three and a half year war.
• Yahoo! is incorporated March 2. • Mississippi ratifies the Thirteenth Amendment on March 16, becoming the last state to approve the abolition of slavery. The amendment was nationally ratified in 1865.
• Singer-songwriter Selena QuintanillaPérez (known simply as Selena) is murdered March 31 in Corpus Christi, Texas by the president of her fan club, Yolanda Saldívar. • House Republicans celebrate passage of most of the Contract with America on April 7. • One hundred sixty eight people, including eight Federal Marshals and 19 children, are killed at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City on April 19. Timothy McVeigh and one of his accomplices, Terry Nichols, set off the bomb. • Shawn Nelson, 35, goes on a tank rampage in San Diego on May 17. • In Culpeper, Virginia, actor Christopher Reeve is paralyzed from the neck down after falling from his horse in a riding competition on May 27. • A United States Air Force F-16 piloted by Capt. Scott O’Grady is shot down June 2 over Bosnia and Herzegovina while patrolling the NATO no-fly zone. O’Grady is rescued by U.S. Marines six days later. • In Washington, D.C., the Korean War Veterans Memorial is dedicated July 27. • Cal Ripken Jr. of the Baltimore Orioles breaks the all time consecutive games played record in Major League Baseball on Sept. 6. • The Washington Post
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1995 COST OF LIVING
trial of his ex-wife Nicole O.J. Simpson is found not guilty in the murder Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
and The New York Times publish the Unabomber’s manifesto Sept. 19. • O. J. Simpson is found not guilty of double murder for the deaths of former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman on Oct. 3. • The Million Man March is held Oct. 16 in Washington, D.C.. The event was conceived by Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan. The National Park Service estimates 400,000 attend. • A budget standoff between Democrats and Republicans in Congress, forces the federal government to temporarily close national parks and museums, and run most government offices with skeleton staff from Nov.14–19. • The first ever full length computer animated feature film “Toy Story” is released Nov. 22 by Pixar and Walt Disney Pictures. • The federal government has another shutdown from Dec. 16 to Jan. 6, 1996, as the budget disagreement continues. • The final original “Calvin and Hobbes” comic strip is published Dec. 31.
BORN THIS YEAR: Kendall Jenner, model, reality TV star (Nov. 3). Above left: Jake Elliott, NFL placekicker (Jan. 21); Logan Paul, YouTube personality (April 1); Timothée Chalamet, actor (Dec. 27); Gabby Douglas, gymnast (Dec. 31).
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Feb. Feb. 1, 1, 2019 2019 5 5
bud/s rock inspires both legend and sailors Naval Special Warfare Command
he secret to BUD/S is under this rock” is engraved on a 2,000-pound boulder that rests in a curious location. Just before graduating 2004, students from Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) class 250 worked as one, in the shadows to move the colossal stone from some unknown location to the middle of a parking lot at Naval Special Warfare Center, home to the BUD/S training facility. “The origin of the boulder is a mystery to many,” said Lt. Tom Deshazo, a BUD/S class 250 graduate and the Naval Special Warfare Center orientation officer in charge (OIC). “Some in BUD/S class 250 are not even sure of where it came from and how it got to its current location at the back gate of Basic Training Command. I know it was brought there some time in the middle of the night to the surprise of the instructor staff.” Traditionally, BUD/S classes leave behind “gifts” for the instructors, command and future BUD/S classes. This massive stone is the gift from the class that included Medal of Honor recipient Petty Officer 2nd Class (SEAL) Michael A. Monsoor, who was killed in action
A gift, in the form of a large boulder, from the students of Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) class 250 sits in the middle of a parking lot at Naval Special Warfare Center, home to the BUD/S training facility. Class 250 included Medal of Honor recipient Petty Officer Second Class (SEAL) Michael A. Monsoor who was killed in action Sept. 29, 2006. The second Zumwalt-class guided-missile destroyer, USS Michael Monsoor, was commissioned aboard Naval Air Station North Island on Jan. 26. | Navy photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Devin Monroe
Crew,” bumped into the stone while Sept. 29, 2006. According to Deshazo, a group of the out in San Diego bay. One of the brave shortest members of class 250, or “Smurf “Smurfs, from Santa Barbara, California, who had been tempted by mermaids before,” held onto the rock for dear life while the other members attempted to follow the mermaid who made promises of warm beds and hot coffee. The mermaid’s spell was broken when a BUD/S instructor kayaked by while combing his mustache. The crew brought the nowsacred boulder back to venerate it as an INDEPENDENT LIVING • ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE object of devotion, it is believed. UNDERSTAND YOUR OPTIONS — Learn the different types of Another, more plausible rumor from senior care available an undisclosed source, states that unidentified members of class 250 found LOCAL KNOWLEDGE — Our Advisors have the local knowledge to the boulder in the desert and loaded it into a truck late one night. They brought help you hand pick communities in your area it back to San Diego and placed it in the SIMPLIFY — Your dedicated Advisor will simplify your search and command parking lot as a gift. “The great thing about the story behelp schedule tours hind the rock is that it inspires the sailors who see it when they are at Basic Training Command,” Deshazo said. ”I have heard more than one story over the years, some have elements of truth, some are totally off base, but all are meant to motivate sailors.” ! We’re paid by our partner communities
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There are as many stories about the boulder’s origin as there are answers to what the secret is hidden below the rock. It would take a bulldozer, or a large group of very motivated BUD/S students working together to find out what is actually under the boulder. Some say there is no secret to becoming a Navy SEAL and that there’s nothing under the rock, while others say the secret is teamwork. However, everyone seems to agree that the boulder and its myths inspire and encourage everyone who comes across it. Regardless of how or why, the placement of the boulder was the first of many great feats to come from graduates of class 250, which include the acts of selfless courage of Monsoor and Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Jason Ray Workman, also killed in the line of duty. The USS Michael Monsoor (DDG1001), the second Zumwalt-class guided-missile destroyer and namesake to the most prominent member of BUD/S Class 250,was commissioned during a ceremony aboard Naval Air Station North Island on Jan. 26.
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Feb. 1, 2019 7
Laughs Heaven is purrrfect
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, “You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let me know.” The cat thinks for a moment and says, “Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor.” The Lord stops the cat and says, “Say no more,” and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears. Several days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again there is the Lord there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, “All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running —
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we’re tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don’t have to run anymore?” The Lord says, “Say no more,” and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates. About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, “How are things since you are here?” The cat stretches and yawns and replies, “It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those ‘Meals On Wheels’ you’ve been sending by are the best!”
Winning the argument
The other day, Louise and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in error. To her credit, Louise finally said, “Look. I’ll tell you what. I’ll admit I’m wrong if you admit I was right.” “Fine,” I said. She took a deep breath, looked me in Gen. Wheeler.” the eye and said, “I’m wrong.” “I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve I grinned and replied, “You’re right.” got to have a sticker on the windshield.” The general said, “Drive on!” The sentry said, “Hold it! You really First day A new soldier was on sentry duty at the can’t come through. I have orders to shoot main gate. His orders were clear — no car if you try driving in without a sticker.” The general repeated, “I’m telling you, was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came son, drive on!” The sentry walked up to the rear winup with a general seated in the back. The dow and said, “General, I’m new at this. sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?” The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “It’s Do I shoot you or the driver?”
— Don W., Sherman, TX
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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, “The big sissy.”
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Continued from Page 3
ity to order that all or part of the game be replayed, as some had speculated. The league requests that a U.S. District Court judge throw out the lawsuit because “this kind of dispute implicates no legally cognizable rights.” “At its essence, this suit was filed because the Plaintiffs, fans and ticketholders of an athletic event disagree with the outcome of that game,” the NFL’s lawyers argue. ESPN reported that Rams defensive back Nickell Robey-Coleman was fined for the play in question — an apparent helmet-to-helmet hit on Tommylee Lewis. Robey-Coleman said after the game that he thought a penalty flag should have been thrown on the play. The Rams will face the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LIII on Sunday.
swiss adventure Continued from Page 2
formation on riding the rails traversing the country. There are more than eight different routes, covering the four distinct regions of Switzerland: Swiss, German, French and Italian. The Swiss Travel Pass is available to purchase in increments of 3, 4, 8 or 15 days. This all-in-one ticket can also be used for public transportation, boats, cable cars, entrance to almost 500 museums and various other discounts. For details, logon to www.MySwitzerland.com. Also, download the app SBB Mobile at www.SBB.ch. The app offers simple and personalized timetable enquiries, plus you can purchase tickets. It was a valuable planning tool throughout the trip. Note: Many Swiss cities have more than one train station. Be careful. The arcona Living Schaffhausen, located in a quiet area, is fairly new (2014) with a modern, stylish persona, www.Schaffhausen.Arcona.ch. Hotel Einstein Congress Spa, www.Einstein.ch, is next to the UNESCO World Heritage Site Abbey District in St.Gallen. In St.Gallen, try the Chicago and gangster themed, quirkily named, Al Capone Steakhouse: Not what one would expect in Switzerland, but it was a great meal. Hotel Waldstatterhof, www.Hotel-Waldstaetterhof. ch, provided a perfect location for our stay. Built in 1898, its classic facade belies the modern interior and stylish rooms. Local guides provide an insider’s view, historical background, and lead you to spots off the beaten path. My recommendation for St. Gallen/Schaffhausen is patricia.Seif@schaffhauserland.ch; for Luzern, Rebecca Gisler at Jr.Gisler@bluewin.ch. For a quick snack, carry-out lunch or dinner, plus wine and beer, COOP’s chain of stores throughout Switzerland was our go-to spot for supplies. It’s Switzerland’s answer to Trader Joe’s. Larger train stations also offer many food options and shopping venues. Sample one of the many types of pretzels for sale at kiosks and shops throughout Switzerland. Keep in mind, hotel stays include sumptuous, all-you-can-eat buffet breakfasts. There are 26 cantons (states) in Switzerland. They, and many individual cities and towns, have helpful websites for planning. A quick computer search can find them. Here are the cities/towns we visited: Schaffhausen: www.Schaffhausen.ch St. Gallen: www.St.Gallen-Bodensee.ch Lucerne: www.Luzern.com Let’s go!
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PUZZLES ACROSS 1. Skid 6. Shoe stud 11. Dawdle 12. Reap 15. A fishing line weight 16. Sweet treats 17. Weep 18. Least difficult 20. Bleat 21. Historical periods 23. Likewise 24. Ethiopian monetary unit 25. Infamous Roman emperor 26. Kill 27. Make unclear 28. Cocoyam 29. Faucet 30. Frothy 31. Custom 34. Sir, in India 36. Debutante 37. Sets of articles 41. Chick’s sound 42. Tins 43. Beige 44. Prepare for action 45. Insulation 46. Adolescent 47. Conceit 48. A type of keyboard instrument 51. Prohibit 52. Nose holes 54. Foolishness 56. Storage 57. Related to tides 58. Bounded along 59. Condition
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DOWN 1. Roiled 2. A cord worn around the neck 3. Bother 4. To endure (archaic) 5. Tropical American wildcat 6. Chintzy 7. Lariat 8. At one time (archaic) 9. Avenue (abbrev.) 10. Element with the
symbol Tb 13. Abounding in stars 14. Russian emperor 15. Display 16. Falls into ruin 19. A dish of tomatoes and greens 22. Comforted 24. Bed covering 26. Knife 27. Ghost’s cry 30. Little lies 32. Tear 33. Canvas shelters
34. Faucet 35. Spray can 38. Icebreaker 39. Molasses 40. Not cloudy 42. Phoned 44. Family lines 45. Ecru 48. Poop 49. Chickadees 50. Modify 53. Pair 55. Actress Lupino
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
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