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s a m t s i ChrON THE

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Army Sgt. Robert Scott and Lt. James Micheletti prepare a makeshift Christmas tree before Christmas dinner in 2003 in Samarra, Iraq.

Allied and German troops play soccer during the 1914 Christmas Truce of World War I.

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The 1st Marine Aircraft Wing in Korea is shown with its “Yuletide gift to Korean and Chinese Reds� (original caption) in front of a Tigercat in December 1950.

American soldiers rest near a small Christmas tree on Hill 875 near Dak To, Vietnam, on Christmas day 1967.

Chief Warrant Officer Brian Boase of the 101st Airborne Division walks alongside Bob Hope and Ann Jillian perform at the USO Christmas Tour during two soldiers dressed as “Santa’s Helpers� while they delivered care packages in Operation Desert Shield. 2012 in Afghanistan. 'PSBEWFSUJTJOHJOGPSNBUJPO DBMM  tBEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTTDPN

The Third Infantry Division dives into Christmas dinner in Italy, 1943. %FD 1


Chill out, culture police By Charlotte Allen

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Sally Hawkins shines as Elisa opposite Doug Jones in Guillermo del Toro’s film “The Shape of Water.�

‘SHAPE OF WATER’ HITS EVERY EMOTION By Jeri Jacquin | MilitaryPress

D

estined for an Oscar nomination from the masterful writer/director Guillermo del Toro and Fox Searchlight comes a story that captures the heart when becoming a part of “The Shape of Water.� In 1962, Elisa (Sally Hawkins) is a young mute woman living in a quiet world of her own. Living her life day to day in a repeating pattern, it includes visiting her neighbor Giles (Richard Jenkins) for a little television and being watched over at work by friend Zelda (Octavia Spencer). Working as a cleaning lady in a government facility, one day a strange container arrives. Being fairly invisible, Elisa is curious about what they are working on. Hearing that whatever is in the container is highly-classified, it doesn’t stop her

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from taking a look for herself. That’s when she discovers a creature (Doug Jones) submerged in a tank pool, yet not truly afraid of what she sees. Instead, Elisa seems to sense that the creature is afraid and she discovers ways to put it at ease. Through patience, Elisa and her webbed friend begin to have a friendship that is quietly beautiful. Keeping an eye on the laboratory is the very aggressive Richard Strickland (Michael Shannon) who is feared by most everyone. Watching over the experiments is Dr. Robert Hoffstetler (Michael Stuhlbarg) who isn’t a fan of Strickland’s either and has his own secrets to keep. Elisa sees that her creature friend is suffering and decides she is going to do whatever it takes to help. Enlisting Giles proves to be a challenge and a plan is made. What surprises Elisa the most is

who comes out of nowhere to make sure the plan works perfectly! Strickland becomes even more hostile and ballistic and is about to make sure every human being within his earshot suffers until the creature is found. There is no mercy for anyone as he investigates every person working in the laboratory. Elisa knows that time may not be on their side but can’t turn away from her feelings. It is a friendship that embraces their differences! Hawkins as Elisa is absolutely endearing, lovely, heart-wrenching, soulful, playful and a dreamer of epic proportions. Every part of Elisa’s character is in her eyes and smile which brought smiles to my own face before I could help myself. In the life she has created, finding someone who is also mute yet full of emotion, Elisa just dances over this film effortlessly. Hawkins is on my list for any award she wants — yes, including an Oscar. Jenkins as Giles is such a lovely man who is creative at a time when things are ever changing. He loves his old movies and the friendship with Elisa and even though he might be a tad afraid of the unknown, he is challenged by Elisa’s will to be humane. Jenkins can portray characters that are so sweet and harmless and Giles is such a character done so well. Spencer as Zelda is funny, no-nonsense and protective of Elisa. I love her monologues while mopping with Elisa and straight-faced one-liners and quips when up against Strickland. I mean seriously, would expect anything less from Spencer? Stuhlbarg as Dr. Robert Hoffstetler is definitely a conflicted character and for

very year at Christmastime these days, as sure as fake antlers and Aunt Ruby’s fluorescent-cherry fruitcake, the feminists are out denouncing Frank Loesser’s 1940s seasonal-seduction duet “Baby, It’s Cold Outside� as “rapey.� As cheerless as Scrooge wondering why there are no workhouses, the sexual-assault sisterhood reads sinister subtexts into Loesser’s lyrics every Yuletide. “Say, what’s in this drink?� That’s all about roofies, the date-rape drug. “I ought to say no, no, no.� That’s women being socialized by the patriarchy to be nice when they really want to get away. “I’ve got to get home� — “Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there.� That’s him wearing her down into unwanted sex. I can’t decide whether these Grinchettes of rape culture have tin ears, tin eyes, tin brains, or all three. Have any of them ever heard the song sung? As the musicologist Thomas Riis wrote, “Loesser can be said to have built his little tune into a miniature dramatic scene, a scena in the operatic sense, in which two characters and the nature of their relationship are fully sketched with efficiency and emotional clarity.� It should be noted that the very first performance of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside� was by Loesser and his wife (you can’t get more affirmatively consensual than that), entertaining their celebrity guests at a housewarming. The Loessers loved singing it, and their guests loved hearing it. Commentator Mark Steyn quotes Lynn Loesser’s memoirs: “It was our ticket to caviar and truffles. Parties were built around our being the closing act.� Well, not quite everyone loved “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.� A young Egyptian, Sayyid Qutb, studying at what is now Northern Colorado University, heard a recording of the song at a church dance and wrote that he was outraged: “The room convulsed with the feverish music from the gramophone. Dancing naked legs filled the hall, arms draped around the waists, chests met chests, lips met lips . . .� Qutb went back to Egypt to be a leader in the fanatically anti-secular Muslim Brotherhood. Later hanged for plotting to overthrow the Nasser government, he’s regarded as the godfather of modern jihad. Feminists love to cultivate sympathetic “allies.� And they’ve got them aplenty in their grim and puritanical loathing of a cheery Christmas song: radical Islamic terrorists.

Charlotte Allen is a columnist for First Things magazine. Follow her on Twitter at @ SHAPE OF WATER, continued on Page 9 MeanCharlotte. XXXNJMJUBSZQSFTTDPNtOFXT!NJMJUBSZQSFTTDPN


GREAT CHRISTMAS READS FOR THE HOLIDAY BREAK By Elise Cooper | MilitaryPress

W

ith the holiday season here, readers can find novels that blend a good mystery within the Christmas atmosphere. A word of warning, these are not “sugar and spice and everything niceâ€? holiday books. Yet, they are very realistic, believable and leave readers with a good feeling at the end — a feeling of faith and redemption. “The Christmas Roomâ€? by Catherine Anderson is one of these special stories. Two holiday generational romances touch on grief, healing and redemption. Readers will go through a range of emotions with the characters from joy to laughter and sadness. Anderson leaves the reader wishing the story would never end, hoping she will consider making a series involving The authors told of the springboard for part of me will always associate Christmas warming and heartbreaking story of victhese great characters. She believes that one of the overwhelm- with that call that says you need to come tory and loss during World War I. The love the story, wanting it to be a shout out to military families, “These friends who lead and romantic scenes right now. ing aspects of the holidays is hope. a comfortable life planned to meet up in “Yet, I do love the celebration of Christ- are a great balance “We should not forget about those peoParis during the holiday. There was the ple who came to the holidays with strife, mas. Just think, during the time period of against the horrors continued sense of believing that it will stress or financial troubles,â€? Anderson the plot, there were no TVs, no videogames of the Great War. be over by the next Christmas. But we What makes this said. “Many people have lost loved ones, and no cell phones. I was able to create an wanted readers to understand that it was and on Christmas there are empty places. ideal Christmas that we all long for. We all book stand out is disrupted by this horrific war. They do feel sad. Because I did experience have this idea of the snow, a sleigh ride, the that the story of “Today there is a disconnect between grief firsthand, I wanted to write about it. big roaring fire, playing games and singing World War I is told those fighting and the civilian population. I wanted to show how the death of the fea- Carols around the tree. We do not have the predominantly in letWe wanted to contrast those on the home tured character’s husband impacted not simplicity of Christmas anymore. I fanta- ters and telegrams. front versus those actually fighting, and sized and wrote the Christmas I would re- In the beginning, only her but also her son and grandson. the letters are full of excitement, a sense how the Christmas holiday affected them.â€? “The message I really wanted to send is ally like with all the warmth.â€? “Pride And Prejudice And Mistle“Last Christmas In Parisâ€? by Hazel of adventure, pride and thoughts that the that if you put one foot in front of the other there is light on the other side of the dark- Gaynor and Heather Webb is a reminder war won’t last long, yet, as it becomes evi- toeâ€? by Melissa De La Cruz modernizes that not everyone has complete joy during dent that it will not be over by Christmas, Jane Austen’s classic “Pride And Prejuness, and there can be a happy ending.â€? “The Ghost of Christmas Pastâ€? by the Christmas holiday and that some fam- the correspondence becomes more serious CHRISTMAS READS, continued on Page 8 Rhys Bowen has a sinister atmosphere of ilies have chairs left empty. It is a heart- and speaks of the atrocities and hardships. sorrow that is also a part of this story. With Christmas approaching, the characters must overcome their own set of heartaches from SUPPORT MILITARY FAMILIES IN NEED THIS HOLIDAY SEASON! losing a child. The main character, Molly, feels the despair of having recently miscarried because of her physical hardships. Deciding to ADOPT A FAMILY Your group or organization can spend the holiday with her mother-inlaw and a family living in the countryside, adopt one of the over 100 families we will help this year. she discovers that the hostess’, Winnie, moodiness is based on the disappearance NOMINATE If you are, or know of, a family in need, go of her daughter 10 years ago on Christto SpiritOfSharing.org and click on “How to Get Help.â€? mas Eve. Molly decides to investigate and SOS helps to provide assistance to our local military service members and find answers to this cold case. 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Washington Redhawks? Not so fast

Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers scrambles away from pressure during a first-quarter drive against the Redskins at Stubhub Center.

BOLTS GEAR UP FOR FINAL GAMES ‘Games you grow up dreaming about’ CARSON — For the past two seasons, the month of December had been more about talent evaluation and an early look at the NFL draft for the Los Angeles Chargers. But for the first time in three years, the Chargers are playing meaningful football in December. At 7-6, the Chargers will hit the road to face their division rivals, the Kansas City Chiefs, with a chance to claim the top spot outright in the AFC West. “It’s one of my favorite places to play,� Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers said. “You get used to division teams like Denver and Kansas City as places that are your favorite places to play because you’ve been there the most. “But the atmosphere on Saturday night will be about as good as you can find anywhere. These are the games you grow up dreaming about playing in.� 4%FD 

Rivers said he told his teammates to keep focused on the “one game at a time� approach that got them to this point, but also to enjoy the opportunity of playing games that matter in the final month of the season. “It’s not much better than going to Kansas City on a Saturday night in December and playing for the division lead with three games left,� Rivers said. “So I think it’s good to acknowledge that, but make sure everybody doesn’t get too caught up in the hype because it can end and turn the other way in a hurry.� The Chargers haven’t won in Kansas City since 2013 — the last time this franchise made the postseason. That season the Chargers won their final four games to reach the playoffs. Rivers also has a history of playing his best football in the final month of the season.

Since taking over as the team’s starter in 2006, Rivers has guided the Chargers to a 36-18 (67 percent) record in regular-season games played in December. Chargers coach Anthony Lynn said he’s leaning on veteran leaders such as Rivers to help guide younger players these next three games. “It’s real valuable when you have veteran guys that have been there, done it and can teach the young guys,� Lynn said. “We have a young team, and I think our captains and our veteran leadership do a good job carrying out my vision throughout the locker room.� Running back Melvin Gordon is one of those young players wading into uncharted territory and looks forward to the ride. “It’s a big game right here that we definitely need to win if we want to be where we need to be,� Gordon said. “I feel like if they [Chiefs] win this, they pretty much lock up our division. ... So we need it. It’s going to be a big game Saturday.�

On Dec. 13 the internet was hit with an elaborate, carefully orchestrated plot that said Washington’s NFL team was going to change its name to the “Washington Redhawks� for the 2018 season. These kind of fake stories are common on Twitter, traditionally spurred by misrepresenting a verified user, but the Redhawks plot had the distinction of seemingly being reported by ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report, and The Washington Post all at the same time. Somehow news of the team changing its name hit everywhere, at the same time, simultaneously, without being leaked out ahead of the announcement. The news sent up dozens of red flags, and yet everything looked pretty convincing. That is, until you double-checked the URLs you were visiting. The stories appeared on forgeries of each of the sites. Versions that were intentionally scraped for content, so all the surrounding links appeared real and legitimate, even duplicating “most read,� or “breaking news� sidebars, populated with links that directly related to the sports world. However, when you checked your address bar you noticed what was happening. ESPN was espnsports.news, Sports Illustrated was sportsillustrated.news, Bleacher Report was bleacherreport.news and the Washington Post was washpostsports.com. All four sites were registered on Nov. 26, with the flagship site “washingtoredhawks.com,� registered on Nov. 10. They were purchased under the name “Dan S,� through the French URL purchasing site gandi.net, but with any further personal information masked through the site, making identifying the buyer almost impossible. This kind of scheme isn’t necessarily expensive, with each URL likely only costing between $10-15 for a yearlong license, but the coding of the sites, the artwork, and small details were convincing enough to fool the biggest doubter, if only for a second. All this took a significant amount of time. However, the schemers made a few key mistakes. Every story was written by “staff writer,� which wouldn’t happen for a story this big. The Washington Post was lacking its slugline “Democracy Dies in the Darkness.� The image posted of the team’s new helmet was a mediocre Photoshop of an old photo of the team’s helmet. The Photoshop, according to the site fotoforensics. com, was created on an Apple iMac in early October — lending credence to the idea that the plot was months in the making. The result has largely been hot air. Despite all the work done to make it seem real, nobody really fell for it. Going to the team’s real site reveals no intention to change the team name, and no news outlets have picked up on the forgery and passed it off as a real announcement. Nobody has claimed responsibility for the scheme, with the fake Twitter account for the team still tweeting out links, sending people to their fake sites. It’s unclear whether the hoax is the elaborate work of a group of trolls, or perhaps a proof of concept by activists to raise awareness on the kind of support a name change would bring. All are possibilities, and it will be some time before we get to the bottom of this — if ever. XXXNJMJUBSZQSFTTDPNtOFXT!NJMJUBSZQSFTTDPN


PRESIDENT SIGNS HUGE $700 BILLION DEFENSE BILL Gives troops largest pay raise in 7 years

President Donald Trump signed the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which will give the U.S. Military its largest pay raise in seven years, since 2010. The NDAA calls for a $700 billion Pentagon budget and includes a 2.4-percent pay raise for troops, an increase in the number of troops, and increased spending for aircraft and ships as part of the Fiscal Year 2018 budget. The NDAA sets the budget but does not provide funding, which Congress must do. Trump urged Congress to pass legislation that will fund the defense budget. “Now Congress must finish the job by eliminating the defense sequester and passing a clean appropriations bill,� Trump said. “I think it’s gonna happen. We need our military, it’s gotta be perfecto.� The budget calls for an additional 20,000 troops; funding for weapons systems, retention pay and bonuses; and repairs for Navy ships such as the USS John S. McCain and the USS Fitzgerald, which were both involved in deadly collisions

President Donald Trump shakes hands with Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis after signing the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2018.

earlier this year. This is the largest proposed military budget to date, particularly the most significant budget to be passed during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Congress still has to come up with a definitive plan to fund the $700 billion budget. It has has to approve a defense budget

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cap increase – the Department of Defense Appropriations Act – in order to accommodate the proposed NDAA. The Act has already been passed in the House. Republican Rep. Mac Thornberry, who chairs the House Armed Services Committee, said: “Having the President sign the NDAA conference report into law is a

critical milestone in the effort to rebuild America’s military strength, support our troops, and reform the way the Pentagon does business. The policies in this bill reflect months of bipartisan work and agreement. But Congress must follow this authorization with a matching appropriation bill if we are to really rebuild our military. There is more work to do.� The bill includes 90 F-35 Joint Strike Fighters, which is 20 more than the Trump Administration’s request. The budget also allocates $26.2 billion for 14 new ships, including three littoral combat ships; and flexible spending for $5.9 billion for the Virginia-class submarine programs; $5.6 billion for Arleigh Burke-class destroyers; $4.4 billion for aircraft carriers; $3.1 billion for Army helicopters; and $1.9 billion for 24 F/A-18 Super Hornets. The plan calls for 7,500 Active Duty members, 500 National Guard members and 500 Reservists for the Army; 4,000 Active Duty and 1,000 Reserves for the Navy; 4,100 Active Duty, 900 Guard and 800 Reserves for the Air Force; and 1,000 Active Duty Marines. The plan to create a new “Space Corps� under the umbrella of the Air Force was rejected.

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‘Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.’ Herbert Boover 31st U.S. President Served March 4, 1929 – March 4, 1933

Charles Curtis, 31st U.S. Vice President Served March 4, 1929 – March 4, 1933 World events

t The Kingdom of Italy and the Holy See of the Catholic Church sign the Lateran Treaty on Feb. 11 to establish the Vatican City as an independent sovereign enclave within Rome, resolving the “Roman Question�.

t The National Revolutionary Party (Partido Nacional Revolucionario) is founded March 4 in Mexico by ex-President Plutarco ElĂ­as Calles. Under a succession of names, it will hold power in the country continuously for the next 71 years. t The inaugural Monaco Grand Prix is won by William

y Cooper, dominates the box

“The Virginian,� starring Gar

Grover-Williams on April 14 driving a Bugatti. t The Geneva Convention addresses the treatment of prisoners of war July 27. t The 1929 Palestine riots break out Aug. 16 between Palestinians and Jews in Mandatory Palestine and continue until the end of the month. In total, 133 Jews and 116 Palestinians are killed. t Bernt Balchen, U.S. Adm. Richard Byrd, Capt. Ashley McKinley and Harold June become the first to fly over the South Pole on Nov. 29.

U.S. News

tFive gangsters (rivals of Al Capone), plus two civilians, are shot dead in Chicago on Feb. 14,

office.

an event later known as the “Valentine’s Day Massacre�. t The San Francisco Bay Toll Bridge, the longest bridge in the world at the time, opens March 2. t The National Crime Syndicate, a confederation of the Italian Mafia, Jewish Mob and other crime organizations, is founded May 13 in Atlantic City. t The first Academy Awards are held May 16 during a 15-minute ceremony at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. t Bell Telephone Laboratories gives the first public demonstration of color television June 27 in New York City. t Radio comedy “Amos and Andy� debuts Aug. 19, starring Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll. t The SS San Juan collides with the oil tanker S.C.T. Dodd off the California coast Aug. 29, causing the San Juan to sink in 3 minutes, killing 77 people. t The Dow Jones Industrial Average peaks at 381.17 on Sept. 3. It would not reach that high again until 1954. t Three multi-digit percentage drops wipe out more than $30 billion from the New York Stock Exchange (10 times greater than the annual budget of the federal government) beginning Oct. 24. The crash would usher in the Great Depression.

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BORN THIS YEAR: Audrey Hepburn, actress (May 4). Above left: Martin Luther King Jr., civil rights leader (Jan. 15); Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, first lady (July 28); Grace Kelly, princess/actress (Nov. 12); Dick Clark, television personality (Nov. 30).

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Bob Haring & his Orchestra t “Sweethearts on Parade,� Guy Lombardo

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IS ‘MAN FLU’ REAL? RESEARCHER SAYS MAYBE Lack of estrogen causes symptoms to be worse

“They call me Mr. Pitiful,� went the first line of a 1966 song by Otis Redding. Redding was singing about lost love, but he might just as well have been referring to men with the flu, who have long been accused of being wimps and crybabies when struck by the loathsome bug. But it turns out, according to a researcher, that men may be moaning and groaning so much because they actually are affected more severely by influenza. A Canadian doctor, Dr. Kyle Sue, writing in the British Medical Journal, said that “man flu� may come down to physiological differences between men and women. “So it makes sense that we could differ in our responses to cold and flu viruses as well,� he added. “I do think that the research does point towards men having a weaker immune response when it comes to common viral respiratory infections and the flu,� Sue told Britain’s Guardian newspaper. “This is shown in the fact that

Researchers say men get harder symptoms of the flu because they don’t have estrogen.

To compare how flu symptoms manithey [have] worse symptoms, they last longer, they are more likely to be hospi- fest among both women and men, Sue reviewed a number of studies involving talized and more likely to die from it.� both animals and humans. A study from Hong Kong, Sue wrote, suggested that when the flu strikes, adult men face a greater risk for being admitted to the hospital than their female peers. Another study, in America, also found that men seem to face a higher risk for actually dying from the flu than women. Sue, a clinical assistant professor in family medicine from the Memorial University of Newfoundland, told the Guardian that the higher testosterone levels in men might be behind the phenomenon because of possible effects on the immune system.

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He also pointed to possible evolutionary factors. “Lying on the couch, not getting out of bed, or receiving assistance with activities of daily living could also be evolutionary behaviors that once protected against predators. “Perhaps now is the time for malefriendly spaces, equipped with enormous televisions and reclining chairs, to be set up where men can recover from the debilitating effects of man flu in safety and comfort,� joked Sue, adding that more studies need to be done before “man flu� can be a firm diagnosis. Meanwhile, he told the paper, “I am hopeful that next time men are being criticized as exaggerating their symptoms they can say ‘hey, look at this study, there is some proof that I am not!’�

CHRISTMAS READS Continued from Page 3

dice.� She turns the characters on their day fairy tale. De La Cruz said she believes that part of heads, switching the roles of the male the joy during Christmas is spending time and female leads. with family and close friends. The heroine, Dar“Darcy gives everything up for her cacy, flies back to Pemreer and has an empty life,� De La Cruz berley, Ohio, to see said. “It is necessary to find a balance to her mother and between career and those in your family. spend the holiday I wanted to show that during Christmas season with her fammost everyone takes a little time off to ily. She might remind spend time with friends and family.� readers of Scrooge These books are a reminder that durfrom “A Christmas ing the holidays there are some who suffer, Carol� because she is rich and self absorbed, disdainful of oth- some who celebrate and some who can reers not like her. But it is Luke who covert- flect on their loss but joyously participate ly shows her how to be humble and that in the holiday cheer. The novels will evoke there is more to life than her profession, old-fashioned Christmas traditions with leaving her to wonder if she could have a plots that will warm the heart and allow chance at love. This is definitely a modern readers a smile at the story ends. XXXNJMJUBSZQSFTTDPNtOFXT!NJMJUBSZQSFTTDPN


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done it right. Second, the ever amazing and continually exceptional work of Doug Jones reasons, you will discover for yourself. I as the creature. Jones has been at the do love his performance because I have forefront of some of the most amazseen Stuhlbarg be both good guy and bad ing characters and yet never seeing his and here he mixes the two and I adore face. In the 2004 film “Hellboy� he was Abe Sapien, teaming up with Del Torro the outcome. There are two actors in this film that in the 2006 film “Pan’s Labyrinth� he we must discuss, first Shannon as Rich- was the Pale Man, in 2007 he starred in ard Strickland is as frightening as I know “Fantastic 4:: Rise of the Silver Surfer� he can be. There are so many dimensions as the Silver Surfer, in 2010’s “Legion� to Shannon as an actor and he always he was the Ice Cream Man (creepier manages to surprise me. Yes, he can be than all get out people!) and back with the scariest and meanest badass ever to Del Torro in the 2015 horror offering of grace a film but Shannon never does it “Crimson Peak.� Let us not forget television when in the same way twice or even three or four times for that matter. Here Strickland is 2014 he played one of my favorite characa complex hater of a human being and ters in the series “Falling Skies� as Cochise, only Shannon could have done it — and gave us a new vampire in the FX series 'PSBEWFSUJTJOHJOGPSNBUJPO DBMM  tBEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTTDPN Continued from Page 2

“The Strain� as one of The Ancient’s and is now part of the Trekkie family with “Star Trek: Discovery.� Now, in “The Shape of Water,� Jones once again portrays a character that is all about the physicality of storytelling. Over all that costuming, a persona comes to life that is easy to love and want to protect. That’s what Jones brings out in us all with this performance. In case you might be wondering, I had the opportunity to speak with Doug last year when he was promoting the space film “Space Command.� All I can say is that he is lovely, charming and funny so perhaps I have more of a bit of a soft spot for his portrayal of this endearing creature. Amazing performance Doug and congratulations for making us all fall in love with love again!

Other cast include David Hewlett as Fleming, Nick Searcy as General Hoyt, Stewart Arnott as Bernard, Nigel Bennett as Mihalkov, Lauren Lee Smith as Elaine Strickland, Martin Roach as Brewster Fuller, Allegra Fulton as Yolanda and John Kapelos as Mr. Arzoumanian. “The Shape of Water� is a film that is so magnificently shot with nuances that I couldn’t get enough of. The story is one of beauty, loneliness, fear, courage, music, caring, anger, betrayal, secrets, friendships and about every human emotion on the spectrum. In the end — it is a fairy tale for troubled times! Jeri Jacquin is the Movie Maven. For more on films and television, go to http://moviemaven. homestead.com. %FD 9


Just for

Laughs Bike to the store

I went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Wild Turkey, and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Wild Turkey before I pedaled away. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

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peanuts. I really just meant to eat a few.â€? screams and screams all night.â€? “Oh, that’s all right,â€? the woman says. “Oh Donald! How do you manage to “Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is put up with these awful noisy English suck the chocolate off them.â€? neighbors?â€? “Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my English school Donald MacDonald from Scotland bagpipes.â€? went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence Weight loss trick with all the other students there. After he A lady noticed her husband standing had been there a month, his mother came on the bathroom scale, sucking in his to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforce- stomach. ments of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal Thinking he was trying to weigh less and wisky). with this maneuver, she commented, “I “And how do you find the English stu- don’t think that’s going to help.â€? dents, Donald?â€? she asked. “Sure it does,â€? he said. “It’s the only way “Mother,â€? he replied, “they’re such ter- I can see the numbers.â€? rible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and The sailor and the pirate won’t stop. The one on the other side A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eyepatch. The sailor asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?â€? The pirate replies “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off.â€? “Wow!â€? said the sailor. “What about your hookâ€?? “Well,â€? replied the pirate. “While my men and I were plundering in the Middle East, I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft in the Weekdays Weekends middle east is the loss of the hand that FREE LUNCH FREE LUNCH stealsâ€? Burger, fries & Coke Burger, fries & Coke “Incredible!â€? remarked the sailor. before noon before noon “How did you get the eyepatchâ€?? “A sea gull dropping fell into my eye,â€? GOLF ONLY GOLF ONLY replied the pirate. after noon after noon “You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?â€? the sailor asked incredulously. For questions, ask us at the ProShop. Must present Ad. Not valid with other offers or tournaments. Expires Dec. 31, 2017. “Well,â€? said the pirate. “It was my first day with the hook.â€? XXXDBTUMFDSFFLDDDPNt$JSDMF3%SJWF &TDPOEJEPt

plained. “I thought you said you were the A 90-year-old couple decide to get a best guide in the United States.� “I am,� the guide answered. “But I think divorce. They go to the judge and say, we may have wandered into Canada.� “Judge, we want a divorce.� The judge says, “You’ve been married 70 years and now you want to get Preacher and peanuts a divorce? Why A preacher did you wait so visits an elderly Got a funny joke you want to share? long?� woman from his Send it to jokes@militarypress.com. congregation. The couple says in unison, As he sits on the “Well, we wanted to wait until the kids couch, he notices a large bowl of peanuts were dead.� on the coffee table. “Mind if I have a few?� he asks. “No, not at all!� the woman replied. Best guide in the country They chat for an hour and, as the A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On preacher stands to leave, he realizes that the third day, the hikers noticed that they instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl. had been travelling in circles. “I’m terribly sorry for eating all your “We’re lost!� One of the men com-

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Publisher: Richard T. Matz Advertising: Michelle Hull Public Relations: Lisa Matz Editor: Tom Chambers Distribution: Dennis Wink Contributing Writers: Doug Aguillard, Keith Angelin, Elise Cooper, Art Garcia, Howard Hian, Jeri Jacquin (The Movie Maven), Carlos Kremer, Heather E. Siegel Contact Us: Tel 858.537.2280 333 S. Juniper St., Suite 103 Escondido, CA 92025 XXXNJMJUBSZQSFTTDPNtOFXT!NJMJUBSZQSFTTDPN facebook.com/mpnewspaper twitter.com/mpnewspaper

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SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9. 4. Raise 5. Annex 6. Diving bird 7. A financial examination 8. Christmas drink 9. Big ape 10. Balm ingredient 11. Colorful salamander 12. “Gee!� 15. Doglike nocturnal mammal 21. By mouth

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The Military Press is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Publishing LLC, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.

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Profile for Military Press Newspaper

Military Press, Dec. 15, 2017  

Military News, Sports and Entertainment for Navy, Marines, Army and Air Force Active Duty, Retired and Veterans.

Military Press, Dec. 15, 2017  

Military News, Sports and Entertainment for Navy, Marines, Army and Air Force Active Duty, Retired and Veterans.

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