FAMILY PROBLEM - SOLVING WORKSHEET: DEAR MAN APPROACH
STEP 1: Identify the Problem
Parent and child, work together to describe a single problem you're facing: Problem: (i.e. – improving you grades, missing curfew, telling the truth)
STEP 2: DEAR MAN Planning
Now, let's break down how to address this problem using the DEAR MAN technique:
D – Describe - Write down the facts of the situation without judgment:
E – Express - How does this situation make you feel? Use "I" statements:
A - Assert - What specific solution or change are you requesting?
R - Reinforce - How will this solution benefit everyone involved?
M - Mindful - What is your main goal in this conversation?
A - Appear Confident - How will you show confidence during this discussion? (e.g., body language, tone)
N - Negotiate - What compromises are you willing to make?
STEP 3: Practice
Take turns role-playing the conversation using your DEAR MAN plan. Switch roles so both parent and child can practice.
STEP 4: Reflect
After practicing, discuss:
1. What went well?
2. What was challenging?
3. How did it feel to use this approach?
4. What would you do differently next time?
STEP 5: Implement
Agree on when and how you'll have this conversation in real life. Set a date to follow up and discuss how it went.
Date for real conversation: _______________
Date for follow-up: _______________
Remember, the goal is to communicate effectively and find a solution that works for everyone. Be patient and keep practicing!
A DDIT IONAL RESOURCES:
• (BOOK) How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Provides communication strategies to improve parent-teen relationships.
• (BOOK) The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E. Jensen
Explains the science behind teenage behavior and brain development.
• The Child Mind Institute (childmind.org)
Offers articles, guides, and resources for parents on various mental health topics.
• Teens Health (teenshealth.org)
Provides information on emotional health specifically for teenagers.