January 27, 2011 • www.TheOdysseyOnline.com • Ann Arbor, MI
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Ski Trip page 2
Greeks enjoy Paris Photo courtesy of Samantha Scharmett
Birthday Celebrations page 6
Game Theory page 11
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Snowmobiling on Ski Trip To all houses who took advantage of Martin Luther King Weekend to go on a ski trip up north, I hope everybody had a wild time. Most people don’t actually go out on the slopes and just take the opportunity to get away and party for a weekend (as if that was a new thing!). However some people take the opportunity to ski or snowboard during the day.
M o u n t a i n S n ow m o b i l e Rentals, we got a group together to try out this awesome new activity. What was the result? An UNREAL experience. For those of you who have never been on a snowmobile before—I am assuming this to be the majority of readers— it is similar to a jet ski. Now instead of water, imagine you are riding on the snow at 80 mph with hills, jumps, and snow flying up all around you.
Our fraternity went up to Crystal Mountain CASEY Resort, in northern As we were out on the trails Michigan. Last year I went GOLDMAN we ran into a few snowmobile snowboarding during the Phi Kappa Psi gangs. These a groups of crazy day, but this year I decided Publisher locals with matching outfits to stay in so I didn’t bring that do tricks as they pass my snowboarding gear. However, when I saw a flier for Crystal you. Go with a few friends to get the full experience, and try some tricks of your own
UofM Campus Events this Week Thursday, January 27th Women's Basketball v. Ohio State @7pm
Thursday, January 27th Men's Basketball v. MSU @7pm
Friday, January 28th Men's Tennis v. Duke @ 10am
to show up these experienced “riders." At one point we took a few wrong turns off the trail, as we decided to go off-roading, and wound up on a highway. WARNING: Riding a snowmobile on a highway can warrant a pretty lofty ticket. (Fortunately we narrowly avoided running into any law enforcement). Overall I highly recommend this less common mountain activity to anyone seeking
an alternative to skiing or snowboarding next time they are on a winter retreat. It’s a unique experience that you won’t regret… unless you smash into a tree at 80 MPH—be careful!
Casey is a sophomore studying business and chemical engineering. You may contact him at casegold@umich.edu.
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Vol. 1, No. 19 PUBLISHER Casey Goldman, Phi Kappa Psi
LEADERSHIP TEAM Alex Perlman, Phi Kappa Psi Matthew Goldstein, Phi Kappa Psi Eaghan Davis, Phi Kappa Psi
CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lindsey Mandich, Delta Delta Delta
Friday, January 28th Wrestling v. Ohio State @ 7pm
Saturday, January 29th Women's Tennis v. Auburn @2pm
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Men's Hockey v. MSU @8pm
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•3
Thoughts on Greek Week It’s beginning to look a lot like Greek Week. Now that teams have been established, team bonding should be starting and people supposedly are starting to get excited about the coming competitive events. However, if you ask around, you might find that fewer people than you thought are actually into the idea of Greek Week, which is really too bad.
right. Honestly, I think it was that everyone else didn’t care as much as I expected them to. Hearing people groan about attending their Greek Week mixers or participating in events made the whole thing a lot less appealing to me, I guess. While there will always be some teams that mesh well, it’s no secret that there are will also always be teams that can’t stand the fact that they’re being forced to participate in anything with one another.
Although I could be cheesy and suggest that we should all just try to get along, we all know that’s KYLIE KAGEN just unrealistic. For this reason, Alpha Delta Pi I wonder if it would be a terrible Admittedly, I’m idea just for one year to allow the one of those people. sororities and fraternities to choose Because I’m only a sophomore, I can only their own teams. It might be a bit of a mess, base my feelings about Greek Week on my and yeah, some claws could definitely experience with it last year. While it wasn’t come out, but think about it – does a bit a terrible time by any means, there was of chaos and bitterness not usually lead to just something about it that wasn’t quite more fierce competition? I’m just saying,
if we were allowed to pick our own teams, we’d not be able to compete alongside people we enjoy spending time with, but we would also be able to ultimately raise more money for the charities that Greek Week is built for. Greek Week is such a great tool for Greek Life at the University of Michigan to use to its advantage. As a group of students that is sometimes overlooked as a charitable group, I believe that Greek Week should be tailored towards creating an environment that the most amount of Greeks will actually want to participate in – which could ultimately lead to even greater participation than in past years as well as an overall increase in the size of donations that U of M Greeks will be sending to charities. Of course, I could be totally wrong – but I don’t think it’s an idea unworthy of trying. Happy Greek Week season everyone – and remember, it’s not about you and the team
that you may or may not like… it’s about putting ourselves against one another for the goodness of charity.
Ky l i e i s a s o p h o m o r e s t u dy i n g communications. You may contact her at knkagen@umich.edu.
GO GREEK
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Dangerous Habits The other day, I painstakingly obvious by the fact was hanging out with that it contributes to a large portion one of my friends of the Freshman 15… or 30. Based who was planning a on our findings from several different 21st birthday party, sources, one 1.5 oz. complete with lots of shot of 100 proof guests, party favors vodka will have and, of course, several roughly 125 different types of calories, while special drinks. As she one 12 oz. cup googled the recipes of beer has roughly of various drinks to 70 calories. On top make for the party, of all the alcohol she almost fell out college students of her chair when consume, there are she read how many the calorically dense calories were in one pops and juices LINDSEY of the drinks. “Just served with it, and then the cherries, MANDICH ONE Slippery Nipple lime and the rest of the works you Delta Delta Delta has 400 calories!” get if you’re at a bar. she e x c l a i m e d , Contributing Editor In response to the college drinking before making the calorie dilemma, many girls (hey, obvious decision to find another drink to serve. Unsurprisingly, maybe even some guys too) have taken up alcohol is extremely high in calories, made a dangerous habit we’ve all witnessed: Not
eating before they drink because they know that they will consume many calories when they do drink. I’ve seen some girls go all day without eating more than a small yogurt in anticipation of knocking back a few drinks that night. I’m no scientist but I still know this is dangerous; you must feed your body calorically dense food before you drink to absorb the alcohol, or you risk having a dangerously high BAC level in your blood.
I’m no scientist but I still know this is dangerous; you must feed your body calorically dense food before you drink to absorb the alcohol"
I talked about the issue of girls not eating before they drink with Diane Brown, spokeswomen of the University of Michigan Police Department. “Female students are more heavily intoxicated than they ever have
been before," said Brown. “It is almost a type of eating disorder that many of them have, to not eat before they drink, and it’s extremely dangerous." Even worse, I’ve heard some girls through the years make the claim that it is better to “take a few extra shots” on top of what they would normally have to “make themselves throw up,” rather than retain the calories from the drinks they have already had. We all know the repercussions of consuming too much alcohol, so I won’t lecture about why this solution isn’t fit for us Michigan Greeks, the future leaders of America. I’ll just leave it at this: when it comes to watching your calorie intake, pick your poison. Either don’t drink at all, or make sure to eat before you drink, despite calories you’d be consuming. Its better to be safe than to wind up in the hospital. Lindsey is a sophomore studying political science and English. You may contact her at lmandich@umich.edu.
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•5
Second Semester Shuffle Especially as a junior, there is a significant and noticeable change upon returning to school second semester. Half of your friends are gone. At first blush, this sounds pretty unfortunate. While there certainly are some negative consequences of losing half your typical social scene, this situation also presents some much needed upgrades. Change is never really an easy or natural thing, however, it is often necessary. Look no further than the replacement of Rich Rod. Some may say that our players are used to his system and this could be detrimental for our offensive strategy. Most others would agree that anybody is better than him and his terrible defensive plan. The second semester "Junior Shuffle" is very similar. It has its' pros and cons.
SEAN GORDON Psi Upsilon
Here is my thinkingThe cons:
3) Random people are subletting your apartment. 4) Your abroad friends are making their own new crew. 5) They are also going to come back with all of these exotic and crazy stories that you cannot relate to at all. 6) Further, they are going to think they are so much more cultured than you and continue to speak French, Spanish, or Chinese for the months after their return. 7) There's a ton more freshman at Skeeps. The pros: 1) There's a ton more freshman at Skeeps.
1) Well, most obviously you temporarily lose a bunch of friends.
2) Who cares about all your friends that ditched you? Nobody likes their weird worldliness anyways.
2) The guy to girl ratio becomes strikingly skewed.
3) You get to meet a whole new group of people.
4) It’s easier to get into bars. 5) Less competition for those upper level classes. 6) You got with that random guy/girl subletting your apartment. All and all, the Junior shuffle is probably for the best. It only really happens once during every Michigan student’s college career. While we only get four years at school, it’s still good to have to diversity in our lives as much as possible. As much as I hate to say it, sometimes the monotony of doing the same kind of thing weekend in and weekend out gets a little old, even if Ann Arbor is a ton of fun. Maybe I’m just slightly bitter because I didn’t choose to go to Rome or Seville myself, but we don’t have to tell that to all of those kids in Europe.
Sean is a junior studying communications. You may contact him at gordonsa@umich.edu.
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Birthday Celebrations
We all know that being dinner. No birthday girl or in Greek Life can become boy should have to pay for a little hectic and stressful themselves on their day of when trying to keep up celebration. Simply ask the with everything going on waiter to split the cost of your around us – social events, friend’s meal between all the philanthropy, homework, other guests. This gesture you name it. At times it may isn’t very expensive, but it become so stressful, in fact, still lets your friend know that [GASP], we forget about that you’re thinking of them important dates that we on their special day. would otherwise remember. Deliver a pick-me-up. Specifically, I’m talking about If you know your friend’s birthdays. Living in a house favorite caffeinated beverage with 50+ girls, there’s bound is a venti frappuccino, swing to be at least one birthday by Starbucks and pick up every couple of months. OLIVIA QUINN their go-to drink. Dropping Sometimes, though, we Delta Delta Delta this off at the library while don’t realize that one of our they’re studying is quick, closest friend’s birthdays is unexpected, and efficient (if coming up until we see the you’re already at the library, notification on Facebook (hopefully that’s not just me…). Don’t fret! It’s not your fault if you might as well study, right?!). you have experienced this forgetfulness – in Send a funny E-Card. You know your college our hectic schedules can become friend is sitting in a two hour lecture on their so overwhelming that we forget to eat and birthday…that’s torture enough, right? Send sleep, let alone buy them a personalized gifts, candy, and cards "We all know that being e-card that really for our friends. If you reminds them of you, to find yourself in this in Greek Life can become offer a short break from situation sometime a little hectic and stressful that professor’s droning soon, consider voice. Check out jibjab. engaging in one of when trying to keep up com for video e-cards the following small with everything going on where you and your gestures to show your can be the stars friend that you really around us – social events, friends of ridiculous dancing DO care about their philanthropy, homework, and singing. birthday, even if you’re a little belated… you name it." Pay for a birthday dinner. If you don’t have time to run to the mall to pick up a gift, consider just paying for your friend’s meal, drinks, and dessert at
Olivia is a sophomore studying English and economics. You may contact her at oliviaq@ umich.edu.
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•7
Putting Together the Break Up
ERICA SALMIRS Chi Omega
Nothing hurts more than the first time you hear, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Or how about the infamous, “You deserve to be with someone better." It takes next to no common sense or social skills to decipher those two lines, to break them down into a simple “I am bored with you and want to be with someone else.” Most of us have been on the receiving end, and for those of us that have had the luxury of dishing it out instead of taking it, we know that there never is a right thing to say. Today, however, is the day I alleviate you all of your uncomfortable relationship burdens. No longer will you have to look someone in the eye while they lie to your face, or come up with a terrible excuse to leave your boyfriend or
girlfriend. The following include fun filled ways to ditch the one your with. Adios! Study Abroad. How many couples do you know that have broken up, even when they are entirely in love with one another, because of the pressure of an intercontinental relationship? It has become apparent that all couples that have any doubt in their relationship regard studying abroad as the holy grail of reasons to leave one another. Not only does the breakup sound legitimate, but you also have reasons to back up your decision to separate. Long distance and time to grow on your own are only two of
No longer will you have to look someone in the eye while they lie to your face, or come up with a terrible excuse to leave your boyfriend or girlfriend. The following include fun filled ways to ditch the one your with."
countless ways to back up your argument when it is time to lay it out. Summertime As students, we are all thankful for summer for a variety of reasons. Outside of not having any class, summer brings hopes of a fresh tan, some time to relax, and the opportunity to get far away from Michigan winter. Now, everyone can add one more reason to love summer to his or her list- the potential for a breakup. Again, long distance is the key to a healthy break up, so find a way to leave fast!
Erica is a junior studying economics and environmental studies. You may contact her at esalmirs@umich.edu.
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En Route à Paris It’s been a long road. year in high school was spent My love for French started in Nice, France with ASA’s in first grade when, as a study abroad program. After six-year-old with big hair, the most amazing summer a big mouth, and a big of my life, I vowed I would imagination, I decided to return again as soon as the join the after-school French opportunity arose. And now, club. The weekly, hourafter almost eight full years of long meetings didn’t teach studying French, the time has me much though; I spent finally come. most of my time playing Am I prepared? Absolutely rousing games of Hello not. The thought of living Kitty keychain tic-tac-toe, abroad for four months but I did come out of a year without knowing a single in the club with the words person on my program before “stylo” and “pomme” (and I touch down at the CDG obviously “bonjour”) under SAMANTHA airport, is both wildly exciting my belt. Yeah.. so maybe it and a bit daunting. The SCHARMETT wasn’t the most intellectually thought of fitting my life into Sigma Delta Tau stimulating introduction two suitcases and a carry-on is to the French language, even more nerve-racking. And but it definitely sparked my interest. In junior high, I began taking most frightening of all is the dress code of French classes, and the summer after junior the fashionable Parisians I will be attempting
to emulate while overseas. My friend who just returned from a semester in Paris told
Seriously? Effortlessly chic? Those words are not even in my vocabulary. I’m used to rolling out of bed at 10 A.M. for a 10 o’clock class (thank you, Michigan time), and throwing on whatever is laying on my floor. Brushing my hair before class? Debatable. Wearing hoodies from the day before? Probable. I’m not sloppy, per se, but just the thought of wearing tunics, sweaters, and high heeled boots to class each day in order to avoid condescending glances from the indigènes makes me start to itch. So here’s to actually getting all of my stuff packed away before Tuesday morning, and not getting snowed in at the airport. A bientôt :)
Paris me "absolutely no sweatshirts! Do not leave the house in sweats. Period. Parisians are effortlessly chic."
Samantha is a junior studying communications and French. You may contact her at samariel@ umich.edu.
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• 11
Game Theory This story is a bit outdated, but as I continue my life at the University of Michigan, I feel like it becomes more and more valid… so here it goes. For those of you who know me, I over analyze things far too much, and especially when it comes to the creatures that are commonly known as women. The following narrative was taken out of the chapter of my life known as “junior year of high school.” When Grant and I went on the prowl we enjoyed two things, attempting to look much older than we actually were (it was harder for me than him) and trying to flaunt our uncommon positions as high school students. During my junior year I was privileged enough to spend my school year as a United States House of Representatives Congressional Page. It’s a mouth full, but at the time I thought it was something definitely worth dropping when I was attempting to proverbially "game" with women. While being on lock down during a terrorism threat in the capitol (it sounds much more interesting when you’re outside of the capitol and not inside it) we developed a noble sport we liked to refer to as Game Theory. For those of you who don’t share my affliction for logic, and you’re right I’m a closet nerd, game theory states that an individual’s success in making choices depends on the choices of others. Post-terror threat, Grant decided to drag me along as his wingman for his Friday night festivities. When I walked into the restaurant where Grant and I were going to meet, I was already in a horrid mood, for
reasons too numerous and Eaghan (Eaghan): corpulent to detail in this Uhhhhh yeah I work at article. While waiting for the house. But considering my train into the bastion I’m 17 years old I’m going that is Georgetown, I to go with a no on your received a text message second question. Do you from Grant, "Hey dude, I’m care to ask another? not sure if you’re going to (At this point I decided be happy with me tonight. this conversation was Let’s just say Thing 1 and pointless and thus going Thing 2 have arrived on nowhere, what could turn the scene." I thought about this night into something getting off at the nearest eventful? I took a cue stop and heading home, straight from Tucker Max’s but I was far too apathetic masterful prose in “I Hope to leave my seat between They Serve Beer in Hell.” a nice looking homeless EAGHAN Thus, I started answering man that reminded me of her questions only in DAVIS my deceased grandfather a dialect known as rap Phi Kappa Psi and a woman who looked lyrics.) as if she slept inside a tanning booth. When I SLTG: That was kind-of rude, you didn’t walked into the restaurant, I immediately sat down across from Grant and gave him have to be mean, how do you know Grant? a death stare. Despite that these women Eaghan: "Cash rules everything around were freshmen at Georgetown, I am me…" convinced to this day that the two of them single handedly lowered Georgetown’s SLTG: What? admission statistics. I mean I’d like to think I have a high tolerance for horrid Eaghan: "We poppin’ bottles like we conversation, but the banter that was won the championship game…" flung around said table ranked amongst I think you know where this is going. And the worst. believe it or not this conversation was even A summary of our horrid conversation more awkward in real life. After I left the lies below: restaurant with Grant (who as you assume was in the dog house), I called my mother Slightly Less Tragic Girl (SLTG): Wait, so to describe this horrible occurrence. Other you like work at the House? That’s so cool! than perplexed as to why I was mingling Are you like a congressman? college-aged women, she felt bad for these
girls. In typical motherly fashion, she told me not to judge a book by its cover and that I should have tried to get to know them better. After I hung up the phone, immediately I started to contemplate my actions: Yeah, some may characterize my actions as something a jerk would do, yeah it was fun to act like I didn’t care, but is this how I would want my sisters to be treated? No matter how heartless I may seem, the answer is no. This started a short stint (slump) known as existentialism, and until a few nights later, I had been stuck in this awkward, self-deprecating phase. (Am I right or wrong gets really old after a while) Then it dawned on me, my sisters at ages 15 and 12 respectively could engage in more interesting conversation than the girls I befriended (well, maybe that isn’t the best term per se.) After this realization I stopped worrying about my prior behavior and derived one thing, no matter how bad it sounds; books, people and other meaningful objects are judged by their outward appearance and first impressions. If you aren’t impressed within the first impression phase, as the artist of the lyrics above once said, "Drop it like it’s hot."
Eaghan is a freshman studying pre-business and pre-law. You may contact him at daviseas@umich.edu.
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If Not Varsity... ...why not Intramural THAT’S RIGHT: they’re cheap, your team play well enough you could even sports? I’m sure many of you only need to be an enrolled make it to the playoffs and become the U of us would love to relive student with an M-card to be M Intramural champions, can’t get any better those glory days we had eligible, and hey, than that. in high school when we you can suck a "During the Fall, the I missed out were the stars of our little (because we last year and Intramural Sports teams and lived to play all know it’s been decided that I soccer, basketball or a while since Program offers sand needed to make football every day after we’ve all played time for it this volleyball, soccer, softball, school. Not that I was a sports). You can year. The sport big deal or anything on get together a few team tennis, track and our sorority my high school teams, of your friends field, golf, broomball house chose to but I definitely miss and easily create a this season playing sports, don’t team by filling out basketball, flag football, play was basketball you? Well, us average an entry form for wallyball, ultimate frisbee, and we recently Joe’s who could never whichever sport had our first even fathom the idea of you may like, and swim and dive." KENDALL game, which was varsity level and don’t along with paying SZCZERBA so much fun. Not have enough time for a small fee for your Delta Delta Delta club sports, need our team. If you are just an individual only did we win (no big deal), but we actually own place to have some looking to join a team, then you enjoyed the healthy competition that we used recreational fun! Here’s a thought: Intramural can post your information on the Free Agent to experience in high school all the time. sports. Board that can be accessed at www.recsports. Basically, I would really recommend joining umich.edu/intramurals/freeagents. If you and a team because the games are only once a
week, so it’s a minimal time commitment, and we all know how little free time we have in our schedules. During the Fall, the Intramural Sports Program offers sand volleyball, soccer, softball, team tennis, track and field, golf, broomball basketball, flag football, wallyball, ultimate frisbee, and swim and dive. As far as the Winter season, you can play basketball, dodgeball, inner tube water polo (why not?), mini soccer, badminton, wrestling, table tennis, volleyball, racquetball, and even a 5K run. In addition to all of these options, Spring and Summer also offer a few sports. For more information on Intramural Sports and how to get involved check out the website, www. recsports.umich.edu/intramurals/.
Kendall is a sophomore studying premedicine and Spanish. You may contact her at szczerba@umich.edu.
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• 13
4 Easy Steps To Being A Bro
BENJAMIN SEIDMAN
Alpha Epsilon Pi
Alright, listen up fools and tools. This is how you’re going to get your bro on. 4 simple steps to becoming a true frat bro.
of brown. Not to mention that you best be at every party. And yo, don’t forget that belt and occasional $2 pair of sunglasses.
#1 Lift. Hit the gym for at least 15-20 minutes, 6 days a week, hitting the bench immediately before moving on to other muscle building exercises. This should be followed be a protein shake of any sort. If this does not only satisfy your endorphins, your bulging pectorals and biceps will be sure to impress the sorority girls; a key to any frat bro’s repertoire.
#3 Beer-in-hand. A real-life bro always has an alcoholic drink of some sort in his hand. Can, bottle, pitcher, keg (not realistic), solo cup, funnel, Franzia box, headgear, or drinking out your hands. It don’t matter as long as you look like you’re drinking. The only reason you should not have a drinking device in your hand is when you are taking a shot or in the restroom or engaging in other fratty activities.
#2 Wardrobe. Simple as… Boat shoes - either Sperry or Sebago. The essential snapback retro fitted cap. Polo shirts – either button down or plain Polo style. And the indispensible cargo pants or shorts, usually beige or any shade
#4 “bro”-ing. Say “bro” a lot. More than you think you should. Just about the only person you should not be referring to as “bro” is your girl or any female in your immediate family. Alternative
versions of “bro” are completely necessary. Here are some examples: brother, brosefius, brothaman, brudda, bro hoe, brooooooo, bro bono, bro n’ go, and the classic bro sesh. There you have it. Whether you are a member of a fraternity or not, here are the tools to fool everyone into believing you are.
Benjamin Seidman is a sophomore shopping around for majors. You may contact him at benseido@umich.edu.