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Michigan Class of 2014,Page 5

The Best Thing You'll Ever Taste, Page 12 Turned On, Page 13


January 6, 2011 • Ann Arbor, Michigan

"Ugly Sweater" holiday party.

Photo Credit: Danielle Toll

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to the ODYSSEY 2 •

Welcome Back! Congratulations on successfully finishing up fall classes. After a brief interlude, many of you are probably excited to get back to school to party… oh wait I meant to say excited to get back to school and take some new classes. Regardless, we’re back to school and it’s a new semester. Our winter break is short, so it probably doesn’t feel that different on campus, but there have been some significant changes since we left, and I’m not talking about the national Four Lokos ban.



Congratulations all new Greek life initiates. Many freshmen have successfully finished up pledge term and are now brothers of their respective houses. You are now part of an incredible system. Not only is Greek life a tight-knit social community on campus, but it carries with it strong correlation to future success and influence. For example over 60% of the House of Representatives and 75% of the Senate are Greek alumni, and nearly 80% of all Fortune 500 CEOs. Now is the time for you all to begin making your mark.

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Vol.1 No.16

We would like to invite all new members of Greek life who feel they have strong writing abilities and good ideas to contribute to The Odyssey. It is a great way to begin your new chapter membership. Represent your house and get your voice heard on campus. For more information about writing for the Odyssey, or to get an application, just send me an email. Good luck with all your new classes and have a great new year!

Casey Goldman is a sophomore studying business and chemical engineering. You may contact him at cgoldman@olympiamediagroup. com.


Alex Perlman, Phi Kappa Psi • Matthew Goldstein, Phi Kappa Psi Leann Arcori, Alpha Phi • Ben Prouty, Phi Kappa Psi • Will Pappo, Phi Kappa Psi Interested in writing or sales? Contact

Greek Life

TRADITION The Family Tree of Sisterhood While we may not be related by blood, being initiated as “sisters” into the same sorority is one of the greatest opportunities we are given to form the best relationships we could ever imagine. What has really shaped my experience with Greek Life has been being a part of a lineage. The idea of “bigs” and “littles” is common to both fraternities and sororities at our campus. While the Greek community is something we can call our own niche within the university, the lineages that make up each house form an even smaller, more personal connection that each of us can call our own. Within my personal lineage made up of my big, Eileen Dolan, and my two littles Kelly McDermott and Katie Lind, I have made three wonderful friends that I wouldn’t have been given the chance to meet had I not joined my sorority. A sophomore and good friend of mine in Tridelta, Mary Cochran feels very strongly about her lineage as well. After I asked her what she loved most about her big, Natalie Fratto she told me, “I’d say that it was really

nice having a big that is very similar to me because we became friends right away, and I had someone to look up to. She helped me with the transition into Greek life, and I know that down the road we’ll still be really close. Also, she sets a really good example of the kind of person I want to be.” An annual tradition for our sorority as well as I’m sure all of the other sororities on campus is BigLittle Week. We pick one week after Bid Day in which we all of the older girls surprise the new Freshmen littles with gifts and posters at their dorm rooms. This is a chance for us to spoil them and make them feel welcome into their new sisterhood. Eventually, we unveil ourselves as their bigs at an event we call the “Big-Little Reveal,” which I’m sure many of the houses in Greek Life are familiar with. This tradition has existed for many years, and I’m sure it will continue to be valued by each incoming group of girls. Another girl in my house, Brittani Lemonds, is a junior who has two littles, like myself. I wanted to know what she learned from her •

big, Kaitlyn Robison, and she told me, “My big genuinely made Michigan a home away from home. When I got my littles, I wanted them to feel loved and appreciated. Aside from going out with them, I try to take time out of every week to let them know I’m here for them. I honestly think of my lineage as my family.” The great thing about having your own lineage is that you can make it whatever you want it to be. Having someone older and younger than you in your lineage provides you with someone to look up to as a role model as well as someone who you can guide the way for, just how you would have wanted to be. I look forward to the next couple of years with my Greek family, and I know that our bond will only continue to grow stronger.

Kendall Szczerba is a sophomore studying pre-medicine and Spanish. You may contact her at



Delta Delta Delta

Gr k



4 •

Michigan Class of 2014 Ann Arbor is synonymous with the University of Michigan. In telling others about our fair city, many of us sound like real-estate agents. A typical student would respond to a question about how he/she likes living here with an answer something along the lines of, “It has everything! Restaurants, shopping, movie theatres, clubs, shows…” The list goes on. Besides the cold, it is hard to beat Ann Arbor as a college town. Most U of M students would say impossible. There is one plus about Ann Arbor that does not usually make it onto the long list of pros that students usually rattle off to visitors, however. That plus is our close proximity to Detroit. The city has a heavy name, one that undeniably carries a negative connotation. Murder City, the Dirty D and Slum City are all nicknames that usually would not attract tourism. Behind its hard façade, however, is an amazingly vibrant city that remains relatively untapped by the UM community. One of the main reasons for this neglect is the appeal of Ann Arbor. Many people have the attitude, “Why leave Ann Arbor?” The sheer number of attractions within blocks of our residences makes a trip to the D seem like an unnecessary expenditure of effort. No matter how flawless Ann Arbor may be, Detroit still has a lot to offer. Four major sports teams, casinos, bars, museums, theatres and restaurants. Even if Ann Arbor shares many of these attractions, the Detroit versions are not the same. Ann Arbor has the University of Michigan Museum of Art, Detroit has the Detroit Institute of Art. Ann Arbor has the Blind Pig, Detroit has the Fox and the Fillmore. Ann

Arbor has the Big House, Detroit has Ford Field. Okay, Ann Arbor wins that one, but you get the idea. When you feel as if you’ve depleted the resources of AA, hit up The D. Even if it can’t really beat Ann Arbor, Detroit has great opportunities for entertainment when the hometown isn’t cutting it. It’s the big city.

Flocka’s “No Hands” with tubas and trumpets and trombones, the Cass Technical High School, accompanied by their dance team, broke out into their version of Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow,” rechristened “Green and White” in honor of their high school’s colors.

After standing in awe for a few songs, we had to get There are shuttles and buses to to the show. It was a great Detroit, but thanks to the expansive performance and when the highway system, its pretty much a show ended at 9:00 p.m., we straight shot by car directly into got back on the highway and downtown. The 75 mph speed limit is also a large plus for those of JENNY HINKLE made it home to Ann Arbor before our mixer for that night you, like me, unfortunate enough Sigma Kappa had even started. Among other to hail from a state that limits you cool experiences I have had in to 65. The only time that I have the D this semester include the ever hit traffic on my way into the city was for the Eminem concert in September, Slightly Stoopid’s Legalize It tour at the Fillmore and I think that most people would classify that Theater, the Motown Museum (hilarious tour guides), Eminem and Jay Z at Comerica Park as an exception. and a harvest festival at an urban farm on Outer I will provide one example of why a trip Drive. I have not even begun to take advantage into Detroit is worth the minimal effort that it of the nightlife in the city, which ranges from requires. December 4th, a Saturday, my friend Greektown to the bars and restaurants that dot and I drove in to see a folk artist/slam poet that downtown. was performing at Wayne State. Unbeknownst So even if Ann Arbor is doing the trick, mix to us, it was Noel Night in the city. Downtown was a bustle of activity, people walking around, it up. Show Detroit some love. We all know she laughing and being merry despite the 13-degree could use it. temperature. As soon as we parked, the sound of a marching band, yes, a high school marching band, filled our ears. Ladies and gentlemen, I kid Jenny Hinkle is a freshman studying English. you not, this was the most entertaining marching You may contact her at band I have ever seen. After performing Waka

NEW YEARS 2011 •


Top 3 New Year’s Resolutions to Break Struggling to keep up with your New Year’s Resolution (your NYR) even though you just made it? No worries, everyone knows that at least 50% of New Year’s resolutions are broken within one month. Well I’m not sure if it’s exactly 50 percent, but it’s something like that. Here is a list of disgustingly common NYRs and why they aren’t important to keep.


Delta Delta Delta

Contributing Editor

NYR #1: To lose weight. Seriously? Who cares if you are 5 or 10lbs over what you think you should be. I can tell you a few things: First, no one notices an extra 5lbs on you but yourself and maybe your Mom if she’s one of those “helicopter parents.” Second, you’ll spend more time worrying over losing the weight (and thinking about how hungry you are, or how much you miss Feta Bread) than you will being satisfied with the weight you could actually lose. Third, you’ll probably gain it all back one day, plus some. We’re in college, we’re supposed to still have the

Freshman 15. When you’re 100 years old, you’re not going to look back at your life and say, “I wish I weighed 5lbs less when I was in college, my life would have been so much better if I did!” NYR #2: To go to the gym every day. I can tell you right now that you’re not going to keep this resolution. The gym is stuffy and gross and, well, some days you just won’t feel like putting up with its crap. Instead of worrying about the gym, try to do other forms of exercise: Take the long way to class, go running outside (you may eat it in the snow a few times; suck it up), or go sledding or something. Switch it up, the gym is as monotonous as it gets. You could always go without exercising every day. It won’t kill you, you know. NYR #3: Spend less money. Two things about this: 1) You’re a college kid, and this is

the last time in your life when your parents will always bail you out (i.e., if your bank account suddenly fails on you.) 2) You will never have a combination that allows so much freedom yet so little responsibility as you do right now, and you’re stupid if you don’t take advantage of it. Moreover, you have the rest of your life to make money; that’s why you’re getting a college degree, right? Don’t sweat it now.

Lindsey Mandich is a sophomore studying political science and English. You can reach her at

NEW YEARS 2011 6 •

A New Year, A New Mindset Even though the present It’s that time of the isn’t always fun to focus on year again. As we’re (personally I’m sitting at all struggling to hold work right now, and that’s onto our New Year’s not very entertaining), it resolutions, (you’ve made is our attitude about the it three days already, keep present that makes it what it up!), we have a whole it is. Maybe I’m just scared new year to look forward of aging, but when I was to. Whether it’s your home for the holidays I birthday, Spring Break or realized that this life we even graduation, we all lead right now will be over have that special date set before we know it, and we that we continuously look need to embrace it as much forward to. Even if it’s just as we can when we have this coming Friday night, the chance. Take my older as a society we are always collectively focusing on OLIVIA QUINN brother for example. In Delta Delta Delta college, he was the typical the future. What about party guy. However, when the present? Personally I I called him at 10pm a few feel like we don’t give it weeks ago, he was already enough attention. I mean, in bed. It’s also important to note that this the present is important, right? was a Friday night. I’m going to go out

on a limb and say most of us never find ourselves in bed by 10 pm on a Friday.

"This year, let’s all make a resolution to really take advantage of each day and all that college life has to offer."

Anyway, all in all I just want to throw it out there that so many of us take the college life for granted, myself included. Even though we face piles of homework on a

weekly basis, I’d take that over working a 9 to 5 everyday. This year, let’s all make a resolution to really take advantage of each day and all that college life has to offer. Late night Insomnia Cookies binge delivered straight to your door when you’re 40? I don’t think so. What about dancing till 4 am on a weeknight and purchasing ridiculous outfits from American Apparel? Not likely…These little indulges we have the opportunity to experience are unique. Do all that is in your power to make every day here special and memorable for years to come.

Olivia Quinn is a sophomore studying English and economics. You may contact her at


For All the Jason Schwartzman Fans Jason Schwartzman and his involvement in Wes Anderson films, starring roles in HBO shows, and ridiculous villain character in Scott Pilgrim Versus The World might paint him as a bit of an indie darling. Schwartzman completed the image beginning in 2007 with a solo musical project called Coconut Records (he was previously the drummer of Phantom Planet before leaving for his acting career).

why Jason Schwartzman and Coconut Records all of a sudden; after all his album was released three whole years ago.

This year Target released a digital-only promotional CD called The Christmas Gig featuring great artists including Guster, a collaboration between Best Coast and Wavves, and of course Coconut Records. The best part? It’s free for download off KRISTINE of With this COLOSIMO little reminder of the feelSigma Kappa good tunes Schwartzman If you haven’t heard of turns out, I’ve gone back this little indie venture, but happen to watch the HBO series to my Coconut Records phase. Schwartzman stars in, Bored to Death, If you want to listen to a little (nonCoconut Records plays the theme song. However, the theme is not representative Christmas related) Coconut Records of Coconut Records regular sound. check out the songs Nighttiming, West Soft and upbeat, the songs feature Coast and Any Fun. Hear it at http:// Schwartzman’s surprisingly soothing voice and have included collaborations with members of Incubus, Zooey Deshchanel and Kirsten Dunst. His Kristine Colosimo is a junior studying first album Nighttiming was released communications and American culture. in 2007 with his sophomore album You may contact her at kacolosi@umich. Davy releasing in January of 2009. So edu.



Taking Hints From The “Bieb” "You’re who I’m thinkin’ of/ Girl you ain’t my runner up/ And no matter what/ You’re always number one/My prized possession/One and only/Adore ya girl I want ya/ The one I cant live without/ That’s you that’s you."

his über witty wit, and his charm, oh his charm!” I’ll tell you ladies; I failed at my attempts for numerous reasons.

To start off my list, I’ll remark that I do not possess the golden locks that Young Bieber sports. Oh, so you’re not I’ve been attempting interested? Oh, well ok… to grow my hair to his well, um, you should check length, but I’m convinced out my column! Most of I can’t pull it off. Second, you are thinking, "He’s I’ve gone through puberty. probably officially lost it. For an 18-something Has he finally gone over the male to sing hopelessly edge?” The answer is yes, I EAGHAN romantic statements have lost it. Last weekend I DAVIS to a girl he is trying to tried to seduce unexpecting Phi Kappa Psi game with, he is one of women by singing (if you’ve two things: extremely heard my voice, most would equate my attempts as regurgitation) confused as to how to interact with the Justin Bieber’s "Favorite Girl." Now I know opposite sex, or possibly and more likely, that I jumped on the Bieber bandwagon a trying to be obnoxious. Many of you may tad bit late, and I have most of the female be asking, "If you’re just going to rag on populace wondering, "Why would she my future husband why did you take this not fall over him? His boyish good looks, valuable space to do it?" The answer is,

there is a point to my rant. Justin Bieber isn’t the first or the last 15-year-old man (boy) to transcend age boundaries and tell us about his relationship experience. Why do we listen to these unrealistic claims, and take them as truthful representations of experience? When I think of my relationships, which my friends will readily compare to pure catastrophes, (think Pearl Harbor bad) I’m tempted to think about what went wrong. How can Mr. Bieber have more experience in this subject content than I? Sure he’s better looking than I am, sure I guess he has a pretty fantabulous voice, but in his life what valuable information can he bring to the table? Put a little J. Biebs on, light some candles, and mull over that question for a while. I took my own advice and did just that. After listening to this little (insert explicative phrase)’s newest album, I’ve deduced one thing. Justin Bieber and artists like him (Aaron Carter, Jesse McCartney, HANSON, The Jonas Brothers, etc.) are single handedly the best "tailored market-

product(s)" (that’s right, I just dropped some Econ-101 knowledge on ya’ll) that have come from the offices of our nation’s music moguls. And after all, who blames them? We eat the stuff up, sappy verses that we unconsciously take as truth, sung by good-looking boys have sold more records than most rock legends. After all, dating in reality is nothing more than a marketing scheme. We only put our best foot forward, look our best, show only the best parts of our personality, and more often than most sane people would enjoy, we feed each other lines no better than the words uttered from Sir Bieber’s mouth. So before you mock J. Biebs and artists like him, think of how we act when we’re trying to "sprinkle a little magic dust." With that, I’ll leave you with most prophetic verses of our generation: "I’m bigger/ and all the haters I swear/ they look so small from up here/ cuz we’re bigger, love’s bigger, I’m bigger and you’re bigger." Eaghan Davis is a freshmen interested in business and literature. You may contact him at


“Turned On,” the self-proclaimed “sexiest show on campus,” stars hosts Diana Rosenbach of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority and Matt Plonsker of the Theta Chi fraternity. The two “sexperts” - who describe themselves as “always turned on” - openly discuss topics of a sexual nature on their televised show. The revolutionary show debuted on October 10th, returning for their second consecutive season. "Turned On" pushes the envelope on a variety of subjects by simply talking about them. Not only talking about them, but by talking about them in a free flowing, almost blasé manner, which makes you wonder: why don’t or can’t I talk about my sex life like them? They want to make a splash, make an impression and draw viewers to their one-ofa-kind show. Matt and Diana make light of what we, the viewers, might deem inappropriate or just too

plain awkward. Some might see them as freaks and some might see them as idols for being able to open up as they do. I doubt they care, and I liked it. As Diana says, “everyone has a sexual side and everyone needs to express it.”

is really something of a spectacle. Overall, the live viewing was full of tongue-licking, overly graphic demonstrations and outrageous jokes. The fact that the show is aired live makes it that much more real. I was turned on.

They talk about everything and anything. I had the personal pleasure of watching a live taping of Turned On to get the real feel for how it all does goes down. The sexperts discuss a scope of sexual topics ranging from “how to make yourself appear larger” to “the big O.” No joke. Also discussed are methods of kissing and seduction. Being there in person was an experience, to say the least.

"Turned On" is so hot right now. You do not want to miss it. It airs LIVE on Tuesdays on Channel 55 @ 9p.m. They feature live call-in’s (734-647-2641) where viewers ask the hosts ridiculous questions. There is also a blog (, which features some risqué material and an e-mail address which Matt and Diana invite you to write to and ask your most secretive questions.

Things did not go as planned when their show began to air on Channel 52, the information channel, but the crew kept their cool. They got right into it and it made for an epic show nonetheless. Witnessing the two live, the chemistry that Matt and Diana possess

Benjamin Seidman is a sophomore shopping around for majors. You may contact him at


Alpha Epsilon Pi



The Best Thing You'll Ever Taste Although there are many things about wintertime that I love, the food that comes along with the season may just be my favorite. There are a load of dishes that I look forward to devouring all year long. However, there is one that never fails to win my heart. Not only because it tastes so good, but because I can make it myself.

KYLIE KAGEN Alpha Delta Pi

For as long as I can remember, my mother and grandmother have prepared a treat that satisfies everything a dessert should be: Peanut Butter Balls. These little spheres of heaven are simply a peanut butter mixture dunked in chocolate… what could be better? Trust

me, you want to set aside the 20 minutes it will take you to throw these together.

Ingredients: - 2 Sticks Butter - 2 cups Crumbs



- 1.5 cups Peanut Butter - 1 Box Powdered Sugar - 1 tsp Vanilla - 1 bag Dark Chocolate (I use Dove Chocolate)

Cooking Instructions: Melt butter. Mix melted butter, graham cracker crumbs,

peanut butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl. When ingredients are thoroughly mixed together, break off small pieces and roll them into balls (Touch the tip if your index finger to the tip of your thumb – that should be only slightly larger than the size of your peanut butter ball). Melt the chocolate pieces into a bowl. Once it has turned to a liquid, dip the peanut butter balls into the chocolate, thoroughly coating the surface of the balls. Place each completed ball onto wax paper or a cookie sheet. Once all of the peanut butter balls are covered in chocolate and on the wax paper or cookie

sheet, place them into the refrigerator. After about a half an hour, the chocolate should be hardened, and they’re all ready to eat! If you’re a fan of chocolate and peanut butter, there’s no way you’re not going to enjoy these. Since they’re so easy to make, they’re also a great dish to make for crowds if you’re pressed for time and looking to impress. Happy nomming!

Kylie Kagen is a sophomore studying communication. You may contact her at knkagen@




How To Effectively Mess With A Friend's Facebook So you and a friend are hanging out, and stupidly they leave the room without logging out of their Facebook. The question is not whether or not you are going to mess with their Facebook, but how?

Relationship Status Someone have a crazy boyfriend/ girlfriend? Change their relationship status to single and see how fast their phone starts to ring. Little Box Below Facebook Profile Picture

Profile Pic Changer One of the oldest tricks in the book. Just change their picture to a very unflattering/embarrassing picture of the person. Everyone has some sort of photo from high school or middle school where they just look ridiculous. Interested In/Religion/Political View People rarely check their own “info” page so if you change something on this page they are likely to not notice it for a long period of time. This is best if you want more of a long-term effect on your prank.

Again, this is something you can change without someone noticing immediately. Insert whatever funny or profane comment you choose. Facebook Status This is the most commonly used method of messing with someone’s facebook. I don’t think making someone’s facebook status very ridiculous is a good idea. If you change someone’s status to something too extreme, people can tell this person was Facebook hacked and that it is not actually them. Instead try

and change a person’s status to something believable yet still embarrassing/funny.

If the victim will not be back to their computer soon, make their birth date today and enjoy watching how many fake friends will wish them a happy birthday.

Like Everything If you go to your victim’s newsfeed and start clicking their friends’ Facebook profiles, you can just start “liking” everything on their friends’ feeds. This is probably the most irreversible prank because it is very hard for someone to find out what exactly you “liked”. Birthday Switcharoo


Sean Yang is a sophomore studying finance. You may contact him at

Sigma Alpha Epsilon

This is my favorite Facebook prank. If you know someone is coming back to their computer soon, you should change their birthdate to another date that is approaching soon.

Alumni Aches? Let’s face it, as much as we wished it was otherwise, our alumni control our houses. In most cases, they decide the rules and regulations of respective Greek bodies. In theory, this sounds fine. I mean, our alumni were members of our frat or sorority once. They lived here. They worked here. They partied here. This first hand experience must mean that they have our best interests in mind, looking to help us foster both our academic and social experience. Right? Not exactly.

of social interaction, and a voracious new generation craving the craziest and the best. It seems to me that often times our parents and other adults think college is the same as “back in their day,” however, I beg to differ. The work is more demanding and the play is crazier. Alumni want the chapter houses to stay clean and fixed up. This is understandable for sororities, especially on a campus where a sorority having a party at its own house is taboo.

Now I assume that some alumni are more lenient and easy going with their chapters than others. Nonetheless, I feel that in this day and age, most college kids don’t want to have to deal with these kinds of people, especially when they have their parents calling off the hook. Thus, I’ve come up with a few easy ways to improve alumni relations (especially for guys), by doing minimal work.

However, as far as I can tell, isn’t the prevailing stereotype of fraternity house for it to be partied in and ultimately be destroyed? Obviously, we wouldn’t want the place to burn down or crumble, but what’s wrong with a little chipped paint?

2. Invite them to the house on an off night where everyone is just hanging out. Make sure that you don’t intend to have a large gathering of people. Email the alumni saying you are having a huge party and want them to come see how well you manage it. They’ll come, expecting the


Many alumni haven’t been to college in thirty or forty plus years. Much has changed since then. To state the obvious: cell phones, Facebook, House music, a switch from horse and buggy to cars. To state the not so obvious: a change in the legal drinking age, new concepts

1. When you and your friends are watching sports or playing video games, grab a couple books out of your bag and scatter them in front of everyone. Snap a quick picture and send an email to the chapter alumni letting them know how the house is going to good use with some quality study time.

worst, and then develop the perception that everybody is socially challenged. You shouldn’t have to worry about them getting in the way of any large parties in the future. 3.Let them meet your parents during that weekend when all the parents come. Alumni love parents. I probably shouldn’t condone any of these practices nor admit to practicing them myself. In fact, it would probably make more sense if you listened to what your Alumni have to say and follow their rules. But then again, how much fun would that be?

Sean Gordon is a junior studying communication. You may contact him at


Issue 16 Volume 1