The Miami Hurricane: March 6, 2018

Campus community ďŹ ghts sexual misconduct, silence NEWS // Page 10

Canes earn No. 3 seed in ACC Tournament SPORTS // Page 17

SHALALA

FOR CONGRESS Former UM President Donna Shalala files to run Photo courtesy UM News

NEWS // Page 3

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

GREEK LIFE

Delta Gamma under investigation for alleged hazing

By Isabella Cueto & Amanda Herrera Editor-in-Chief & News Editor editor@themiamihurricane.com news@themiamihurricane.com

The University of Miami women’s fraternity Delta Gamma has been mandated to cease all operations while it is under investigation for events that violate the university’s alcohol and hazing policies. The order came down from the Dean of Students Office after administrators were reportedly sent videos depicting hazing. Several sources in Greek Life have alleged the videos were leaked by Delta Phi Epsilon, a sorority that has had a longstanding rivalry with Delta Gamma.

Carolina Yera, a member of the DPhiE advisory board, sent an email saying the sorority “categorically denies” involvement in the incident.

“Our Sisterhood is shocked and disheartened by any turn of events that causes harm to any individuals or organizations in our small, tight-knit community,” she wrote.

University Spokesperson Peter Howard said on March 1 the university had not issued a cease operations order to any other organization.

A statement from Delta Gamma nationals on behalf of fraternity President Stacia Rudge Skoog said DG nationals is “working closely” with UM to “investigate and address any behaviors that do not align with our values and fraternity standards.”

The organization’s mission statement as listed on its website is to offer “a rich heritage based on principles of personal integrity, personal responsibility and intellectual honesty. Its primary purpose is to foster high ideals of friendship, promote educational and cultural interests, create a true sense of social responsibility and develop the finest qualities of character.

DG Beta Tau Chapter President Emily Gerstein sent out an email Feb. 27 to the members notifying them of the cease operations order and explaining what the order banned.

“This includes meetings,

recruitment activities, social functions, educational programs, formals, community service/philanthropy, intramurals, etc.,” the message read.

The women’s fraternity was preparing to celebrate its Founder’s Day on March 15. Now, that future is indefinite. Spring semester is an important time for Greek Life because it is the point at which new students are allowed to formally rush.

The announcement to the larger Panhellenic community was made during the Panhellenic meeting on Feb. 27, according to a post made in a private sorority group on Facebook.

Gerstein could not be reached for comment. All members of DG and most other Panhellenic organizations have been repeatedly told not to speak to The Miami Hurricane about the investigation, according to sources who have seen Facebook posts on the matter.

Multiple sources reported the cease and desist was issued after videos of the alleged hazing were posted on social media, and those videos were later sent to administrators.

UM Panhellenic Association President Abby Washer, who is a sister of DG, denied the hazing allegations on the day of the cease order and said administrators had not received videos. Washer also said the Greek community was informed only of “general allegations” against DG. “The deans are very protective of our community and the women that are apart [sic] of it, and only ordered Delta Gamma to cease all functions so that they could properly investigate,” Washer said in an email. “They have no proof of any of these allegations actually being true at the moment, they are just taking precautions.”

Washer sat down for an interview with The Miami Hurricane in January and said Greek councils had a “no tolerance policy for hazing.”

“From our point of view, it’s never allowed,” Washer said.

“Obviously my biggest concern is protecting the women of Panhell.

So if something was ever brought to my attention, I would absolutely do

Hunter Crenian // Visuals Editor INVESTIGATING VIOLATIONS: The University of Miami’s chapter of the women’s fratnertity Delta Gamma is one of numerous Greek organizations across the country under investigation for hazing allegations.

something about it.”

Washer also said because every Greek association is “very private” about rituals, members of fraternities and sororities are not aware of everything that goes on.

Assistant Dean of Students and Director of Greek Life Cristina Luna has not commented on the investigation. On Wednesday, Feb. 28, Dean of Students Ryan Holmes issued the following statement to TMH: “The University of Miami Dean of Students Office received a report alleging that members of the Delta Gamma Fraternity were involved in events that are in violation of the university’s alcohol and hazing policies. Given the very serious allegations and the university’s zero tolerance for hazing, the Delta Gamma Chapter was issued a cease operations order. A thorough investigation will be conducted by the Dean of Students Office to determine

if the organization and/or individual members violated any university policies. Anyone or any organization found responsible for violating any policies will be held accountable.”

Hazing is defined as “an action or situation created on or off campus which recklessly or intentionally harms, damages or endangers the mental or physical health or safety of a student for the purposes of, including, but not limited to, initiation or admission into or affiliation with any organization operating within the University of Miami,” according to UM’s Student Rights and Responsibilities Handbook.

The consequences for hazing could lead to suspension or even expulsion from the university.

In 2017, Florida State University became one of the many universities around the country that suspended all Greek life on its campuses indefinitely following a student death resulting from a hazing incident.

The Miami Hurricane will not publish print editions the weeks of March 11 and 18 due to Spring Recess. Print will resume March 27.

Associate Vice President and Dean of Students Ryan Holmes said his office would be ready to act accordingly if such incident were to occur on UM’s campus.

“We’re going to do everything we possibly can as a university to make sure all students, regardless of Greek affiliation or not, are safe,” said Holmes in a roundtable with UM student media leaders in November 2017.

Student Government Vice President-elect Catherine De Freitas, a sister of DG, said she did not have “any information” and could not comment because she was “not knowledgeable” on the matter.

As of March 1, the UM Delta Gamma Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr accounts had been taken down.

Howard said the Dean of Students Office had “nothing new to report” on the investigation on March 5.

Annie Cappetta and Tommy Fletcher contributed to reporting.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

NEWS

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NATIONAL NEWS

Shalala files to run for UM alumna’s congressional seat

By Isabella Cueto Editor-In-Chief editor@themiamihurricane.com @isabellacueto

Former University of Miami President Donna Shalala filed to run for Congress on March 5. She is expected to make an official announcement on March 7, according to officials from her campaign.

Shalala joins nine Democrats in the running for Republican Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen’s seat in Congress.

Ros-Lehtinen, an incumbent since 1989 and an alumna who earned her doctoral degree at UM in 2004, represents Florida’s 27th District in Congress but will retire after this year.

“I’m excited that so many excellent candidates are running to represent the best Congressional district in our nation,” Ros-Lehtinen said in an email. “It has been the honor of my life to represent South Florida in Congress and I know that

Donna will provide voters with a great policy platform like many others in the race. I always root for Canes and in this race, I’m rooting for our community to pick the best candidate, whoever the voters decide that is.”

Shalala, who served as the fifth and first female president of UM from 2001 to 2015, was known as a political and financial powerhouse. She raised $3 billion over the 14 years she spent at the helm of UM, and she helped raise the university from a No. 64 spot to a No. 48 spot in the U.S. News & World Report rankings during her tenure.

Throughout her presidency and through this spring, Shalala taught courses in political science and public policy. She would retire from teaching should she decide to join the congressional race.

Some of her biggest physical contributions to campus were the addition of the Shalala Student Center and the construction of the University Village housing complex.

Before Shalala’s tenure at UM, she served as the nation’s secretary of Health and Human Services under the Clinton Administration. Since then, Shalala has maintained strong ties to the Clinton family, bringing the Clinton Global Initiative University to UM and becoming president of the Clinton Foundation in 2015.

Shalala’s run could mean using Clinton connections to her advantage, though many have voiced criticism because Hillary Clinton won the Democratic-leaning 27th district by a 20-point margin in 2016 – the largest margin in the country for Clinton in a Republican-led congressional district.

Shalala is remembered as a fierce leader and student-centric president, as well as a top-notch fundraiser. She said her trick is instilling confidence in constituents and donors.

“People like to support winners,” she said in a 2015 interview with The Miami Hurricane. “Once you have the smell of a winner, people come

and want to make investments, and we could constantly show them that making an investment made a difference in terms of our quality.”

Associate Professor of Political Science Joseph Uscinski said Shalala would be a tough competitor in the race for the 27th congressional district seat.

“Shalala not only would bring name recognition and political experience to the race, but she brings a wealth of policy experience in both Washington, D.C. and in South Florida,” Uscinski said. “If she runs, her entrance into the race would likely deter many other candidates from entering because she would be such a strong candidate.”

Another political science professor, Fernand Amandi, has been working closely with Shalala ahead of the March 7 announcement. Amandi taught the Election 2016 course with Uscinski, has been an outspoken anti-Trump voice on local radio and

is managing partner of Bendixen & Amandi consulting firm. His firm helped produce Hillary Clinton’s Spanish-language “Nuestra Amiga” TV spot during the presidential race.

As for Shalala’s students, they appear to be on board, too. Senior communications major Virgilio Capote is taking Shalala’s “U.S. Healthcare Crisis: Politics and Policy” course this semester. He said she would be a great fit for Florida because of her history of leadership and her knowledge about politics and health care.

“She’s more than just a professor, she’s a role model,” he said.

The candidate filing deadline is May 4, primary elections are Aug. 28 and the general election is Nov. 6.

For a list of all candidates, visit themiamihurricane.com

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

COMMUNITY

Low turnout for march renews focus on civic engagement

By Amanda Herrera News Editor news@themiamihurricane.com @_AmandaHerrera

The Canes Care for Eagles March had hundreds of students interested in the event on social media. Yet when the march actually took place two weeks after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, less than two dozen people showed up.

Canes Against Gun Violence, a student-led unofficial coalition that organized the event, took that as a sign and now, it is looking to focus on turning social media engagement into physical civic engagement.

“Our generation is very, very good at expressing their ideals and supporting them,” said Logan Smith, one of the creators of Canes Against Gun Violence.

“But sometimes, getting us on the ground can be a little bit more difficult.”

Two weeks after shots rang out in Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, killing 17 and injuring more than a dozen, the small group of students, with carnations and signs in hand, made its way from the Rock Plaza on campus to Coral Gables City Hall to honor the lives of those lost. The group also marched to stand with the Coral Gables City Commission in its decision to back a resolution which would urge state and federal legislators to make assault rifles and weaponry less easily accessible.

Smith, a sophomore double majoring in jazz voice performance and political science, said he created the march and unofficial coalition because gun control is an issue he has always been passionate about. Being from Colorado, Smith said he’s seen multiple shootings occur in his home state during the time he was in high school, including the 2012 Aurora movie theater shooting that left 12 people dead.

Smith said he’s looking to create events or sessions on campus to increase “physical”

civic advocacy rather than civic advocacy on the internet. He was one of two students to show up for the City Commission meeting on Feb. 27, where commissioners decided on the resolution. Though the passing of the resolution was successful, he said he’d like to see more students be actively involved instead of just voicing their support on social media.

“People see these numbers and see how they affect our city commission,” Smith said.

“Having two students show up, that’s amazing and that shows that Canes Against Gun Violence cares, but what would’ve been even more amazing is to have 50 to 100 students in that City Hall.”

The MSD shooting on Feb. 14 sent shockwaves through the nation and led to public outcries for stricter gun regulations. Marches across the United States, including one spearheaded by the survivors of the shooting to Tallahassee, have put a revamped focus on the polarizing issue.

Freshman Elizabeth Rodriguez, co-creator of Canes Against Gun Violence, said seeing these national movements for gun control inspired her to bring a similar event to the University of Miami’s Coral Gables campus.

Rodriguez said she felt a “deep connection” to the shooting because she lives a few miles from Parkland, in Coral Springs, Florida.

While speaking to students before the beginning of the march, Rodriguez said she remembered “the fear and anxiety” of a panicked situation like a shooting because last year, she completed training for an active shooter situation, which included a realistic scenario, turning all the lights off and using text books as shields.

“We will be the last community,” said Rodriguez, a double major in political science and public health. “I am marching for the 17 who cannot ... I am marching because I refuse to allow this to continue.”

Hunter Crenian // Visuals Editor MARCHING FOR MARJORY: The Canes Care for Eagles march, an event organized by Canes Against Gun Violence, walked the 2.4 miles to the Coral Gables City Hall on Feb. 28 in honor of the 17 people who died in the Majory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting.

Rodriguez, alongside the other students, walked the 2.4 miles to city hall. Throughout the march, the 17 names of the victims were read with a description of what they would have become known for had they lived through the shooting. When the group arrived at City Hall, the carnations were dropped, surrounding a statue

directly in front of the building and the names were read again to commemorate the 17 dead.

Daniel Molina, a Broward College student from the Parkland area, attended the march and said he did so for those 17 that “would be doing the same if it was someone else that would have passed.”

While Molina said his community is doing “better” since the shooting, he said the nation needs to continue to push for change for those who can’t.

“We want to make sure that they’re heard even though they can’t be here,” he said. “We’re their voice. We’re their feet as we march.”

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

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OPINION

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

Opinion

The Miami

HURRICANE Founded 1929 An Associated Collegiate Press Hall of Fame Newspaper NEWSROOM: 305-284-4401 editor@themiamihurricane.com BUSINESS OFFICE: 305-284-4401 FAX: 305-284-4404

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The newsroom and business office of The Miami Hurricane are located in the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200.

LETTER POLICY The Miami Hurricane encourages all readers to voice their opinions on issues related to the university or in response to any report published in The Miami Hurricane. Letters to the editor may be submitted typed or handwritten to the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200, or mailed to P.O. Box 248132, Coral Gables, Fla., 33124-6922. Letters must be signed with a copy of your Cane Card.

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Dear senders of angry emails: People don’t want to see their organization – their family – cast in a bad light. And as cases like the recent Delta Gamma cease order show us, there’s never a good time to break bad news. So why do we at The Miami Hurricane do it?

For one, it’s our job. Just like any news organization, we’re expected to find the story and report the facts. When people around campus are talking about an issue, it is our job to cover it and find the facts behind the rumors and chatter.

The Miami Hurricane is a student-run, editorially independent publication. This means we are detached from the University of Miami and we do not represent its views or opinions.

We are not a public relations arm of the university or of any group within UM, including student organizations. We are advocates for our community and we believe in the reader’s right to information, but we are not here to only publish the good or the flattering.

So what do you do when you find yourself in the middle of a story?

While a culture of silence pervades many institutions (both on campus and off), this “our lips are sealed” approach often hurts more than it helps. Speak up. Use your voice to share your perspective. We want all sides to be in the story. Be intentional with your words and stand by them.

Journalists have long served an important role in society.

There’s a reason why the press is called “the fourth estate” – it exists as a sort of check on the three branches of government

or, more generally, those in power. Without it, would we have known about Watergate? The truth about the war in Vietnam?

More recently, the crisis in Flint, Michigan or the rampant sexual assault in Hollywood and beyond?

Still, modern sentiments toward the media aren’t exactly cushy. Cries of “fake news” and a surge of headlines that are increasingly sensationalist or click-bait-y (and outright false) cast a shadow on the legitimacy of a field that, at its heart, exists to serve the people. It’s possible and,

Hurricane reports far outweigh the negative coverage, but the latter always gets the most views and shares and clicks, a fact that is out of our control and true for the news media in general.

We hear about things like any other student would. In our case, though, the follow-up includes seeking out sources, sharing what we know and adding information as it becomes available. We might not have uncovered a state secret or national conspiracy, but the role of a reporter is to cover news as it happens, indiscriminately, with no room to be choosy.

There’s never a good time to break bad news. So why do we at The Miami Hurricane do it?

among our team, encouraged to simultaneously uphold the mission of journalism and condemn the hack jobs that sully its name.

It is possible for our staff to be engaged members of the UM community – some have gone on to become organization presidents, members of Iron Arrow and other honor societies, homecoming queens, and even employees of UM – and to also see the value in reporting the difficult stories.

It is also worth noting that the “positive” stories The

The straightforward practice can, of course, seem muddled in college, where we brush shoulders and often share classes, meals and friends with the very people we write about. We try to mitigate that conflict of interest by pulling someone off a story if they are too close to it – a member of a certain organization would never be the lead reporter on a story (good or bad) about that organization, for example – because we are committed to fairness.

Few in the community seem to have an issue when Sun Sentinel or the Miami Herald

jump into the mix and report a story about UM, but on campus, it can sometimes seem as though we’re going against an unspoken student bond when we share information that’s less than flattering.

Our aim is not to be adversarial or become a cheap rumor factory. If that was our goal, our staff would not spend countless hours a week reaching out to sources, reporting, writing, editing, discussing and factchecking what we produce.

We’re proud to cover the good, meaningful yet often-overlooked stories that happen on campus every day. We know there are incredible stories in every corner of this community, and trust us, the reaction to those is much easier to handle than the wave of backlash we receive whenever we publish something unfavorable (but we know that’s part of the job).

True, the bad stuff is certainly good at catching attention. While we can’t quite prevent that we can strive to set the record straight.

And we want you to be a part of that process. Just like newsrooms all over, The Miami Hurricane is working to make our process as transparent as possible.

Our inboxes are open, and you can find all those addresses on themiamihurricane.com.

You can also submit a news tip, anonymously or not, and learn more about The Miami Hurricane’s policies on our website.

Editorials represent the majority view of The Miami Hurricane editorial board.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE STUDENT LIFE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

OPINION

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Escape campus bubble, live like a local I get it – it’s fun bragging to people back home about how you can wear shorts to class. The weather, the beach and the

By Genesis Cosme city may have Contributing been your reaColumnist sons for enrolling at the University of Miami. You have your favorite (probably overpriced) restaurant and plans for multiple pool party weekends.

As students, we make up less than 1 percent of the county’s population – there are more than 2 million residents in MiamiDade alone – but it’s easy to forget that while we’re focused on our tiny, individual college worlds.

If you want to develop a love that’s more than skin-deep for your second home, you have to live like a local. Spring Break is a perfect time to make the switch from part-time resident to fulltime Miamian.

Miami people like things that scream Miami – you should learn to do that, too. That doesn’t just mean wearing a “305” tank top or drinking Cuban coffee every afternoon, it means supporting local businesses, artists and teams just as you would support your favorite UM events. It’s just as much a privilege to wake up in a vast and colorful city full of adventure as it is being able to throw on a pair of shorts for 80-degree weather in the winter.

Maybe you’ve just been caught up in tourist traps since you arrived freshman year.

Exploring Miami like a local can

be difficult if you only live here for a few months at a time. Take some time to research hangouts by asking locals, reading through Miami news outlets and scouring social media geotags, and then create weekend bucket lists with your roommates and friends.

From experience, it’s especially fun being the first in your circle to try a new place, sharing your experience, then “putting everyone on it.”

Consider spots in corners of Miami-Dade County you’ve never heard of and might never learn about unless you meet another commuter in class. There are 34 incorporated cities and many more unincorporated cities in the county, all with different blends of cultures and dynamics, and full of hidden gems.

Homestead, for example, is a lax, primarily agricultural

area, and Kendall, a busy planned community. When you’re not sitting in traffic, it’s easy to get to and from the two cities in under 30 minutes. That means it’s completely manageable to drive down to Homestead to pick up a Knaus Berry Farm cinnamon bun for breakfast, stroll through Zoo Miami in the afternoon and grab dinner at a small Cuban restaurant on your way back to campus.

Don’t be discouraged by the language barriers you may face along the way. If you haven’t yet noticed, South Florida is a majority-minority region. Miami is the second largest U.S. city with a Spanish-speaking population and English-only speakers make up merely 27.2 percent of all residents, according to the census, so if you plan on staying here after graduation, consider taking Spanish classes.

As a person of Hispanic heritage, but an absolutely terrible Spanish-speaker, I can tell you that simply wishing more people spoke English here won’t make things any easier.

It may be frustrating trying to communicate what you want to order from that Nicaraguan fritanga in Hialeah, but don’t let that stop you from trying new places. Be respectful of the employees, resort to the internet for translation and, if all else fails, point at what you want on the menu. It’ll be worth it.

There’s a lot I’ve learned about Miami after living here for 20 years, including loads about diversity and pride – but who’s to say you can’t become an honorary Miamian in just four years?

Genesis Cosme is a sophomore majoring in public relations.

AROUND THE NATION

Rethink ableist discourse post-Parkland The shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas has sparked the same predictable conversation about gun control and mental health that we

By Alexandra Diaz rehash after evContributing ery mass shootColunist ing, in which the perpetrator is a white (or white-passing) American male. Rarely addressed, however, is the way we’ve chosen to frame the issues of violence and mental health as inextricably linked.

Although opinions vary on what should be done about gun control, there seems to be one overarching fact that people on both sides of the argument agree on: “The mentally ill” should not have access to weapons. To soften the way that sounds, we also like to

float the ideas of addressing mental health issues in students or making counseling more accessible to those who need it. It’s not a coincidence that the only time we collectively tackle mental health is right after a mass shooting.

Ableism, or the devaluation of people with disabilities, is as rampant in our society as every other -ism yet receives little attention.

Given this ableist backdrop, we can all comfortably simplify the issue and blame the actions of one deranged mass shooter on “poor mental health,” citing his “traumatic” upbringing as an obvious precursor to his actions.

Also alarming is the fact that the topic of mental health is appropriated by groups such as the National Rifle Association and used as a shield to avoid having real conversations about gun control reform. At the CNN Town Hall held on Feb. 21, NRA spokesperson

Dana Loesch said “none of us support people who are crazy, who are a danger to themselves, who are a danger to others, getting their hands on a firearm.”

This statement makes the faulty assumption that “crazy people” (read: those living with mental health issues) are always a danger to themselves or others. Loesch also failed to acknowledge the highly subjective and variable nature of psychiatric diagnoses.

In reality, people with mental health disorders are “10 times more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators,” according to the Mental Health Foundation. Only 3 to 5 percent of violent acts are committed by people with severe mental health issues, according to Scientific American.

While the Parkland shooter did have depression, ADHD and autism, these diagnoses alone cannot explain his behavior.

These issues are often thought of as shameful and embarrassing already, and when someone acts out irrationally or violently, we dismiss them as “crazy.” The ableist stigma that makes so many of us automatically associate the shooter with mental instability or illness is the same stigma that holds individuals back from seeking help when their health is at stake.

Perhaps we’re just desperate to understand why people carry out these unimaginable acts of violence. Mass killings are highly gendered crimes, with males making up 98 percent of the murderers.

Furthermore, gun control group Everytown for Gun Safety analyzed FBI data on mass shootings from 2009 to 2015 and found that “57 percent of cases included a spouse, former spouse or other family member among the victims – and 16 percent of the attackers had previously been charged with

domestic violence.”

In light of this evidence, it becomes clear that mass violence can be caused by things other than mental illness, and that the contributing factors are extremely complex.

While mental illness is an easy target, perhaps toxic gender expectations are (at least partially) to blame. The quiet loner that you think is “mentally disturbed” is probably not as likely to carry out a mass shooting as much as the guy who abuses his girlfriend.

If we care about mental health as much as we claim to in the aftermath of a shooting, we need to stop antagonizing this community by making irresponsible blanket statements that equate mental health issues with violent behavior.

Alexandra Diaz is a junior majoring in political science and women’s and gender studies.

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March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

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NEWS

Who commits sexual assault?

Nearly 90 percent of female victims of sexual violence reported male perpetrators. (CDC) The majority of men who were victims of attempted or completed rape reported male perpetrators.

However, the majority of men who were forced to penetrate someone else and the majority of men who were sexually coerced reported female perpetrators. (CDC) The majority of undetected college rapists are more likely to be serial rapists and go on to commit an average of six rapes each.

More than half of perpetrators are white.

(RAINN, DOJ)

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

#MeToo : It happens here, too

By Isabella Cueto Editor-in-Chief editor@themiamihurricane.com @isabellacueto

The unknown, the unreported University of Miami alumna Samantha Wortman accepted an invitation to an overnight fraternity formal in Key West during her second semester of freshman year. She had been friends with her date since the sixth grade, so she thought nothing of it. The two discussed the sleeping arrangements – a shared full-sized bed in a room with another couple, but each of them would have their own blanket, Wortman said – and they went.

Wortman said her friend knew at this point that she identifies as lesbian, so she never expected anything weird to happen. But in the middle of the night, Wortman said she woke up to her date, who had spent the night drinking on Duval Street, sexually assaulting her. He touched her and put his hands down her pants while she was supposed to be sleeping, she said.

She froze. She pretended to be asleep for what she remembers another hour while he continued touching her.

“I didn’t do anything at that time because there were other people in the room, but I should’ve called my mom, should’ve done something,” said Wortman, in a phone conversation while recalling the event. “But I totally let him molest me.”

The next morning, Wortman woke up and tried to convince herself that nothing had happened. But on the bus back from formal, she said she confronted the man about it. He completely denied anything happened.

After that, she chose to distance herself from this long-time friend, a person she had trusted.

“He knew my parents,” she said.

“He came to my graduation party in high school.”

An estimated seven out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows, according to Department of Justice statistics.

Lillian Manzor is chair of the Department of Modern Languages at UM. When she had recently started at the university about 20 years ago, she said she was victimized by another member of the UM faculty.

All photos by Hunter Crenian // Visuals Editor

Allison Schifani, assistant professor of digital humanities in the Department of Modern Languages and Literatures, said she did not realize the workplace harassment she faced as a teenager was wrong. “...It was easier for me, as a kid at that time, to just decide that this wasn’t harassment, that this was a joke,” she said.

Another UM student, Mackenzie, who wanted to be referred to by her first name only because of privacy concerns, said she wished she would have fought back more aggressively during her assault.

“I regret not being stronger about it and yelling or something, but there is nothing I can really do about it at this point,” she said.

The incident took place in Montauk, her hometown on Long Island, New York. One of Mackenzie’s friends was throwing a Fourth of July party during summer 2017 and had invited men and women from their high school. Mackenzie drank to the point at which she just wanted to go inside and sleep, so she did. She awoke a while later

tried to have sex with her, although she said he was unsuccessful.

“He literally said, ‘I’m just horny,’” Mackenzie said. “I was like, ‘OK, well what? Why does that have anything to do with me?’”

After a few minutes, some people pushed the door open and took the bureau out of the way and the man left, Mackenzie said.

The reaction from the man’s friends and some of each others’ mutual friends was amusement. They thought it was a consensual hookup.

She said she thought that because she had been drinking, the best decision was to leave the party and remove herself from the setting. She thought she could prevent

to one of her male acquaintances from high school entering the room and lying down on the bed between Mackenzie and her friend, who was also “groggy.”

After a few failed attempts to get the man out, the two women gave up and all three started talking.

The man started touching Mackenzie and putting her hand on his penis, she said. When she tried deflecting, pushing him away and telling him to leave the room, he refused. She said her friend then left the room, wanting to sleep and thinking Mackenzie was into the hookup.

Mackenzie said when she tried to get up and leave, the man pushed a bureau in front of the door and tried to remove her shirt, but she said ‘no’ again.

In response, he took off his clothes and

Mackenzie, a University of Miami student who asked to only be identified by her first name, was sexually assaulted on Fourth of July weekend 2017. She said although she knows the incident felt wrong and she knows it “qualifies” as a #MeToo experience, she is still unsure how to label it.

She was 17 and working at a New Mexico breakfast diner chain. When she went to get her paycheck one day, she said her manager told her to take off her pants before he handed over her check.

At the time, she thought he was joking.

Now, she is “nauseated” by revisiting those memories.

“What was more appalling was the way in which I situated myself to tolerate it,” Schifani said. “Which isn’t to say I sanctioned the behavior, but that it was easier for me, as a kid at that time, to just decide that this wasn’t harassment, that this was a joke, that this was just the way people interacted in the workplace.”

But with age, Schifani, assistant professor of digital humanities in the Department of Modern Languages and Literatures, recognized how wrong it was. And as she moved up through the spheres of work and education and enjoyed the privileges attached to being a white woman of a certain status, she said her experiences with sexual misconduct decreased.

None of these women reported what happened to them, either because they feared what would happen or invalidated their feelings at the time, but the tsunami of similar stories in recent months – and the very public toppling of men previously believed to be untouchable – encouraged them to come forward with their stories.

Wortman said she didn’t file a report and instead tried to force herself to accept what happened, a choice she regrets.

“The fact that I take pride in my individuality and autonomy, yet this happened to me and I said nothing – it kills me,” she said.

The stakes of her silence are higher now. Although she said she has moved on, she is unsettled by the fact that her alleged attacker is attending medical school to become a physician.

any unwanted attention by leaving. favors and other verbal or physical harassment of a Sexual assault can include but is not limited Several months later, Mackenzie is sexual nature that takes place in the workplace or to fondling or unwanted sexual touching, forcing almost disassociated from the event. She educational environment. Sexual harassment does someone to perform sex acts and attempted or said she doesn’t even know what to call not need to be directed at an individual or be sexual completed rape. what happened that night. When one of in nature – it also includes gender discrimination.

Rape is sexual penetration without consent. her friends asked why Mackenzie wasn’t Street harassment is unwanted sexual attention in a more upset or more vocal about what public setting. Catcalling, being followed, sexual advances, Force does not always mean physical pressure. occurred, she tried to make sense of it but groping or fondling are all forms of street harassment.

Force can mean using coercion, threats, manipulation couldn’t quite find an answer. or other psychological forces to pressure a victim.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just know Sources: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), I won’t put myself in that situation again ...

Sexual harassment includes unwanted United States Department of Justice data, Equal Employment I don’t like to put a label on it because it’s Opportunity Commission touching or sexual advances, requests for sexual Annie Cappetta and Jackie Yang not technically rape.” contributed to reporting.

But she knew, when she saw the flood of shared experiences – from catcalls For some survivors, leaving sexual Assistant Professor Allison Schifani to violent assaults – under the umbrella misconduct and harassment in unclassified realized this when she reflected on her To read the rest of the story, visit of the Me Too movement, that what folders, gray areas and unspoken corners is experiences of workplace harassment themiamihurricane.com happened to her “definitely qualifies.” a form of self-preservation. when she was a teenager.

NEWS

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RESOURCES Title IX Coordinator Bonnie Muschett can guide you through the reporting process 305-284-8624 titleixcoordinator@miami.edu Dean of Students Office can take measures to help you feel safe on campus 305-284-5353 Sexual Assault Resource Team (SART) can connect you with resources when you call its 24-hour anonymous hotline 305-798-6666 Online reporting: miami.edu/ ItsOnUs RAINN national sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-4673 UM Sexual Assault Resource Team (SART): 305-798-6666 Roxcy Bolton Rape Treatment Center: 305-585-5186 Jackson Memorial Hospital, 1611 NW 12th Ave. Student Health Services: 305-284-9100 5555 Ponce De Leon Boulevard Counseling Center: 305-284-5511 5513 George E. Merrick St. University of Miami Police: 305-284-6666 5665 Ponce De Leon Boulevard #101 Chaplain’s Association: 305-284-8118 1100 Stanford Drive

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EDGE

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

Student Artist Spotlight: Kelsey Blackstone

By Anya Baldismes Contributing Edge Writer

From memorizing hundreds of lines in 12 days to learning a German accent for her upcoming role in this spring’s musical, “Pirates of Penzance,” Kelsey Blackstone is no stranger to the challenges of being a student artist. That’s what has earned the sophomore theater arts major her place in this week’s Student Artist Spotlight.

“Being an actor takes a great deal of empathy and understanding of human nature,” Blackstone said. “I have always enjoyed gaining new perspectives through the eyes of whatever character I may be playing.”

Blackstone transferred to UM from the University of Hartford in Connecticut last semester and, already, she’s played a lead role in a UM production. Last week, she starred in the play “This is Our Youth” by Kenneth Lonergan, which explores adolescence and family in 1980s New York City.

Instead of having months to prepare, Blackstone was asked to fill in for one of the leads less than two weeks before the performance date.

As a lead in a play with only two other characters, Blackstone was concerned about learning her lines in time.

“The preparation process was quite rushed compared to how it usually is,” Blackstone said.

“In order to be ready in time, we had rehearsals every day, and sometimes two per day.”

However, after many late nights and even more cups of coffee, the play “This is Our Youth” was a huge success.

Students and faculty filled the seats, and by the end, the actors were met with roaring applause.

Blackstone begins rehearsals for her next show, the comedy “Pirates of Penzance,” next week, which is the theater department’s featured spring musical. Once again, she will have a lead role as one of the pirates.

“I have been asked by the

Photo courtesy Kelsey Blackstone SING TO THE STARS STARS:: Sophomore Kelsey Blackstone performed as one of the leads in the UM production last week, “This is Our Youth,” by Kenneth Lonergan as a last minute addition to the cast, having only 12 days to prepare for the role. Blackstone transferred from the University of Hartford in Connecticut last semester, and has caught the attention of the theatre arts community at UM.

directors of that show to prepare a German accent,” Blackstone said.

For her, this will involve carefully researching German dialects and general speech patterns.

Before rehearsals begin, Blackstone is trying to catch up on homework and sleep, both of which were very difficult to manage in the two weeks leading up to her previous performance in “This is Our Youth.”

When discussing past roles, she explained that one of the most interesting involved playing the sarcastic, poker-obsessed male character Speed in “The Odd Couple,” which Kelsey performed as a senior at Manchester High School.

“I had to learn how to act

more masculine in order to stay true to the character,” she said. “I had to borrow clothes from some of my guy friends, and it was so funny to them to see me on stage wearing their clothes.”

For this role, Kelsey had to learn how to play poker and properly deal a deck of cards, two skills she still uses to this day.

“You’d be surprised the interesting things you can learn from playing a certain character,” she said.

Along with theater, Blackstone is passionate about music, music business and environmental preservation.

Specifically, when discussing her interest in the environment, Kelsey said, “I love nature and

being outdoors...I want to do my part in helping to preserve existence.”

As a sophomore, Blackstone may not know where life will take her in the future, but she definitely wants to keep performing.

“I can see myself leading a band and traveling to different places to perform for all different kinds of people,” she said.

“Including those who may not normally be able to see regular performances due to location or socioeconomic status.”

Kelsey wants to share her music experience with others and hopes to create an outreach program to bring arts education to students who would not normally have the opportunity.

When discussing her motivations for this outreach program, Kelsey said, “I want to give people the experience that I was so fortunate to have with music.”

Although she has not yet sorted out the specifics of her future, she has a concrete goal in mind that she has already begun working toward.

“I want to share my art with the world,” she said.

Don’t miss Blackstone in the roaring comedy “Pirates of Penzance” April 19-28 at the University of Miami’s Ring Theatre.

Student Artist Spotlight is a new Edge feature that will run every Monday.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

Annie’s Gotta Eat: Whisk Gourmet

By Annie Cappetta Managing Editor managing@themiamihurricane.com

I spent Valentine’s Day a few weeks ago eating dinner alone, surrounded by couples but squeezed into a table for one at Whisk Gourmet in South Miami. I chose Whisk because it’s my go-to, close-to-home date night restaurant, even when that date is with myself. But it wasn’t sad; it was exactly how I, Annie Cappetta – a writer, gardener, beekeeper, cook, baker, but above all foodie – was supposed to celebrate Valentine’s Day. With a book (ironically enough, it was Best Food Writing 2017) and my trusty leather-bound notebook in tow, that meal celebrated what I love in life: relaxing, alone time, reading, writing and my main squeeze – eating.

And what a meal to celebrate. The service was exceptional, especially considering I was a single diner on V-day eating around a shift change.

Whisk is known for its crispy brussels sprouts with parmesan and red pepper aioli, and while they pack a seriously salty punch, they didn’t disappoint as my appetizer. For my entree, I ordered the special: slices of fried grits, slathered in short rib gravy and topped with melted cheese, a sunny-side-up egg and scallions. The gravy was full of rosemary and tasted like home, adding the perfect reminiscence of family and love for the day.

Fried grits are a quintessential way to do leftovers. We all have a finite number of meals to eat in our lives, so we shouldn’t be eating the same thing two nights in a row. But that doesn’t mean leftovers should be eliminated; it means they should be elevated. To make this dish, traditional, warm grits are cooled overnight until their consistency becomes loaf-like and sliceable. The grits are then sliced and deep fried, making what was a classic porridge into a whole new creation.

The “grits fingers” were crisp and golden on the outside while the center was warm and creamy. The contrast makes the insides seem even more velvety-rich than it might have seemed in the original form.

I grew up in the Chicago suburbs, not traditional grits territory. I have an Irish-American mom who loved marrying into my dad’s ItalianAmerican family so much that she hangs out at the Italian cultural center, takes Italian language lessons and competes in Italian cooking contests.

Instead of grits, my parents would fry up polenta

leftovers, or pre-chilled store-bought polenta in an unappealing tube, prepared the exact same way as these grits fingers.

Food is as much about words as it is about ingredients. This dish was dubbed “grits fingers poutine,” so I had concepts of cheese curds, Canada and fatty decadence in my brain before the meal even came out. This dish could have been called “cheesy fried polenta with rosemary gravy,” substantively the same thing but with a whole different set of expectations and recollections.

Overall, this delicious meal at Whisk embodied what I love about reading and thinking about food: It can bring you back to eating poutine on your family vacation in Quebec, or your dad’s quick weeknight dinner of fried polenta. It made something completely new out of ingredients and concepts that are so familiar.

That’s why I’m using this meal to launch my new food column, Annie’s Gotta Eat. A girl’s gotta eat, and I especially have to because it’s a daily event I look forward to.

Eating is my true love, but my affair is with writing. It would be a waste to keep the thought and attention I give to my meals to myself. My friends already use me as a hub of Miami food recommendations, and I want to share that love and information with all of you.

Food writing can sometimes be problematic, demeaning lesser known food cultures or ingredients by labeling them as “bizarre.” But the best writing tells stories we never knew food could tell. One such food story was in a book I received for my birthday called What She Ate: Six Remarkable Women and the Food That Tells Their Stories. It contained biographies of historical figures from the vantage point of the way they ate. And it was exceptional.

I promise in this column I’m never going to get on a Columbus-like soap box and proclaim a restaurant my “discovery” or dismiss an unfamiliar food. I just want to tell the stories of really good places I’ve eaten that are accessible to University of Miami students and I think you might like. Plain and simple.

Whisk Gourmet is walking distance from UM’s campus at 7382 SW 56th Ave., South Miami. Hours: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday. Contact: 786-268-8350 Annie Cappetta is Managing Editor of The Miami Hurricane. She is a senior majoring in political science and ecosystem science and policy.

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SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

26

strikeouts

Sophomore Evan McKendry has dominated in 15.1 innings pitched so far this season.

BASEBALL

Freshmen drive in 7 runs in Miami victory

By Michael Leyva Contributing Sports Writer

After a six-hour, 15-inning battle the night before, the Canes made it look easy in a 7-1 win over Maine on March 4 at Mark Light Field.

No. 24 Miami pulled out a 7-6 victory the night before on a walkoff single by first baseman Alex Toral ending at 12:02 a.m. And the team needed to be up and ready for an 11:30 a.m. start that same morning.

Despite the quick turnaround, the Hurricanes (5-6) fought through some fatigue to finish with a 2-1 series victory.

“I thought we were a little sluggish today; I know I was tired,” Miami coach Jim Morris said. “They didn’t get a lot of rest for sure, particularly for the catcher – I didn’t even ask him if he was OK – but all these guys are excited about playing.”

Sophomore pitcher Evan McKendry led UM with another strong outing, tying a career-high with 10 strikeouts and allowing just one run in six innings. He got plenty of run support from freshman catcher Isaac Quiñones, who had four RBIs on the day.

“We executed when we had to,” said Quiñones, who started for just the second time in his career.

“We had big situations, and we got the runs when we needed to get them. Pitching was outstanding, hitting came through and it turned out to be a quality win.”

McKendry (2-1) found himself in a jam after loading the bases for Maine (3-8) in a rough first inning but limited the damage to just one run. The right-hander surrendered five hits and shut out the Black Bears the rest of the way. McKendry has struck out 26

Josh White // Staff Photographer FRESHMAN FORCE: Freshman Isaac Quiñones gets ready for the pitch during game three of a weekend series against Maine March 4 at Mark Light Field. Quiñones totaled four RBIs in a 7-1 Miami win.

batters over 15.1 innings pitched this season.

“Coming out today, I didn’t feel like I had all my stuff working well, so I knew I had to throw my pitches and start getting some feel for everything,” McKendry said.

“First inning was a little rough, but then I settled in and just got comfortable.”

Tony Jenkins opened the scoring for the Canes with a twoRBI triple in the fourth inning to give the Hurricanes a 2-1 lead. The

outfielder drove in fellow freshmen Willy Escala, who singled and stole two bases, and Quiñones, who drew a walk.

Miami never looked back from there.

The following inning, UM padded its lead. The Canes loaded the bases for Toral, who recorded an RBI-single. Two batters later, Quiñones delivered again, hitting a two-out double to drive in three more runs and bury the Black Bears.

Quiñones earned his fourth RBI of the afternoon when he drew a walk with the bases loaded to put Miami up 7-1.

“I try not to think about bases loaded too much,” said Quiñones, who played 32 of the 33 innings for UM over the weekend. “I just try to sit on that one pitch and just barrel one up. I have seen a lot of basesloaded situations, so just trying to piece one up is my mentality.”

Morris emphasized the play of his freshmen after the game.

“I looked up in the ninth inning, and seven out of eight position players were freshmen,” Morris said. “It’s nice to see some of the young guys come through.

Isaac [Quiñones], of course, had his chance to play and had an outstanding weekend. He was our player of the game.”

Canes baseball takes the mound again at 7 p.m. March 7 in a road matchup against crosstown foe Florida International University.

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March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

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SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

PROFILE

Hometown hero determined to thrive

By Maxwell Trink Senior Sports Writer @MaxwellTrink

Sophomore Dewan Huell has developed into one of Miami’s stars during the 2017-2018 men’s basketball season. Averaging 11.6 points and 6.6 rebounds, he has doubled his scoring and rebounding from his freshman year.

But what makes Huell’s story especially noteworthy is the fact that he is the only member of the Hurricanes to grow up in Miami.

He embodies his hometown in each and every game he plays.

“I’m the king of my city,” Huell said. “Every time I play a game, I always pray to have a good game for my city, my family and my team.”

Before games, when his name is announced in the starting lineup, Huell makes his way through the huddle, receiving enthusiastic high-fives from his teammates. Once he reaches the end, senior Ja’Quan Newton places an imaginary crown on Hunter Crenian // Visuals/Photo Editor Huell’s head – the “King of MOLDED IN MIAMI: Sophomore Dewan Huell skies for the dunk during the season opener against Gardner-Webb University Nov. 10, 2017, at the Watsco Center.

Huell scored 14 points and grabbed eight Miami.” rebounds in a 77-45 Hurricanes win.

Huell didn’t start playing basketball until he was in seventh Huell committed to Miami over Though Huell has not reached really paid off, and that’s why he’s the co-captains is because of grade. He was determined to Florida State and South Carolina his full potential yet, he has made playing so well.” his willingness to do what we play football ... on Nov. 18, significant improvements since On the court, Huell shows ask him to do. He has really Until he broke 2015. arriving at UM, especially in his trust in his teammates, even embraced our philosophy, and his collarbone.

“His ceil- role as a leader. some of the younger ones, no I want to give him a chance to From that day ing is very, very “I just lead vocally,” Huell matter what type of game they’re bloom in that regard, and he is forward, the high,” Larraña- said. “I try to tell the guys to having. doing it.” lanky teenager “I’m the king of my ga said of Huell’s do the right thing and how to “He always tells me that he Huell pushes himself during focused on basketball abili- respond.” trusts me on the court,” freshman games and practices, determined basketball. city.” ties. “He hasn’t He also leads by example, Lonnie Walker IV said. “Him not only to make himself better He thrived played basket- specifically through rigorous and I have been talking a lot, but to represent Miami on on the court at ball that long.” workouts and practices. Over and he has just been saying, ‘Just another level.

Miami Norland DEWAN HUELL L a r r a ñ a g a summer 2017, Huell would show stay aggressive and be in attack “Hard work pays off, and High School, often talks to up at 5:30 a.m. for individual mode.’” that is what I believe in,” Huell averaging Huell about reaching the 10,000- workouts.

Since coming to Miami, said. “I want to be an NBA All16.5 points and 8.7 rebounds as hour mark of playing the sport.

“One of the first things Dewan Huell has put on more than 15 Star one day, so I want to work a senior. He was named a 2016 Huell is nowhere close – yet. told me when I got on campus was pounds of muscle, which has on everything and keep on McDonald’s All-American, a “When he gets there, you are just be consistent with your work allowed him to better handle the improving.” consensus five-star recruit and going to see a huge difference,” ethic,” freshman guard Chris physicality of college basketball.

With his sights set for the one of the best power forwards in Larrañaga said about the 10,000 Lykes said. “Whenever we get in He has recorded five double- NBA in the future, for now, the the country. hours. “It won’t be in college. It from a class, Dewan is already doubles this season.

“King of Miami” is focused on Huell, who stands at 6 feet 11, will be when he is 25 years old, there with a sweat. He works out “He is one of our co- leading the Canes into March caught UM coach Jim Larrañaga’s and everyone is going to say, before every practice. You can tell captains,” Larrañaga said. “The Madness. attention. Larrañaga heavily ‘Wow, he has improved.’” the work that he has put in has reason we named him one of recruited Huell, and it worked.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE BASKETBALL

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

SPORTS

17

Josh White // Staff Photographer EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS: Freshman Lonnie Walker IV takes the shot over two Virginia Tech defenders March 3 at the Watsco Center. Walker finished with 12 points in a 69-68 Miami win. Prior to the season, the Canes were predicted to finish fourth in the conference.

UM No. 3 seed in ACC tournament

By Isaiah Kim-Martinez Sports Editor sports@themiamihurricane.com @isaiah_km

Just two weeks ago, it was uncertain whether the Miami Hurricanes would even finish in the top half of the ACC standings. Now, the team has officially earned a No. 3 seed and a double-bye in the ACC Tournament, which starts Tuesday, March 6, in the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York.

No. 11-seed Syracuse will face off against No. 14-seed Wake Forest at 7 p.m. March 6. The winner of that game will play No. 6 North Carolina the following night at 9 p.m. Then the winner of that matchup advances to play Miami in the quarterfinals at 9 p.m. Thursday, March 8.

After completing its season with a nail-biting 69-68 win over Virginia Tech, which came into the game with the same conference record as the Hurricanes, Miami recorded a conference record of 11-7, finishing in a four-way tie for third place in the ACC with Clemson, North Carolina State and North Carolina.

The Canes, who finished with a 22-8 overall record on the season and are now ranked No. 24 by the AP, won the tiebreaker against all three teams

based on a 2-1 collective record against them headto-head.

In the matchup against the Virginia Tech Hokies, the Hurricanes were down 68-66 with 1:13 remaining in the second half before a mid-range jumper by freshman Lonnie Walker IV to tie it and the free-throw by freshman Chris Lykes to win it with just three seconds left.

At that point, they just needed a North Carolina loss to Duke to secure a top-four seed.

They got something even better – a North Carolina and a Clemson loss – which earned them the No. 3 spot.

The UM win against Virginia Tech marked its fourth consecutive contest that was decided by three points or fewer, tying a record last set by Duke in 1984. The Canes won all four.

“I told the team that they are like the Cardiac kids ... They somehow are enjoying being on the edge at the ends of these games,” Miami coach Jim Larrañaga said. “I’ve coached for 46 years, and I can never remember four consecutive games ending on the final possession and winning all four.

The guys did a tremendous job.”

This is the third time Miami has locked in a top-three seed in the ACC Tournament since Larrañaga’s arrival seven years ago. His team holds a record of 8-5 in the tournament during that span.

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V’S TAKE

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

March 6, 2018 - March 26, 2018

Sexy Spring starts with apps It’s almost spring! The birds and the bees are buzzing, the flowers are blooming and a new cycle of life has begun – making all of us realize how dead we truly are on the inside. The best way to fill the void in your heart (and to fill other body cavities) is to find a bae on a dating app. Here’s my definitive ranking, from worst to best:

Plenty of Fish First off, I’m allergic to shellfish so I don’t think I can be exposed to all the fish in the sea without a severe risk of anaphylactic shock.

Anyway, this app (and website, apparently) is popular with the older crowd looking for love, and I think that’s where it should stay. Even though it combines a Tinder-like swiping feature with a personalityHave a question based matching system, I don’t for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com. think you would actually want

to meet anyone who hates themselves enough to download an app with this name.

Coffee Meets Bagel I’m gluten sensitive, so I don’t think the bagel aspect of this app would work for me, either.

This app is basically like Tinder except you are given a currency called beans, and it costs beans to chat and match with people. Again, it’s aimed more toward adults, but we youths are apparently getting more desperate.

Also, beans sound suspiciously close to nuts, as in, “Hello attractive girl, I have busted 20 nuts to talk to you right now. Please notice me.” Yikes.

Bumble I’m sure you’ve already guessed it – yep, I’m allergic to bees.

This is like the Sadie Hawkins Dance of dating apps because the

females have to message the males first (hi, heteronormativity, I didn’t see ya there). I also assume that much like this app, Sadie Hawkins Dances have a horrid yellow color scheme.

So go ahead, Sarah, message Brad, because we know that he is all you are going to talk about for the next several months. But he’s going to break your heart, boo. Men like this app for a reason: they can swipe n’ snooze until you make the move.

Grindr/Her As CupcakKe once said, “F*** out my way when you see me, I’m rollin’ with the LGBT.” That’s how I feel about the gay hookup apps Grindr and Her. I find the whole concept really interesting. If you’re attractive, you basically get on-demand sex. If you’re unattractive, you call yourself “generou$$” and offer attractive guys

and ladies money for on-demand sex.

Capitalism is a good thing, my friends.

Just don’t catch feelings because even though “DL Frat BroJob” has also caught feelings, he’ll never show it.

Tinder Swipe to the left. Swipe to the right. (Criss-cross!) Swipe into a deep depression because no one you like swipes right on you.

In my opinion, Tinder is where dating apps began, so it is where V will end this list.

Just remember to lie to your parents about where you met your bae. Pretty soon, after you have been lying to other people for so long, you’ll probably start to believe it yourself.

What did I leave off this list?

Let me know by emailing dearv@ themiamihurricane.com

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