Middle Age

BY J.B. COLLUM

Welcome to part three of the saga of me going from an overweight, sickly, middle-aged guy who is so out of shape that he gets winded just looking at a set of steps, to the future me, who is still a middle-aged guy, but is much healthier, weighs a lot less, can actually walk a couple of miles without sweating a river and sucking all the oxygen out of a house. It will not be a short trip, thus the use of the word saga earlier. I have already regaled you with the changes I have made to my diet, and even some changes I have not made, but am merely considering. If you haven’t read parts one and two yet, I’ll give you a few minutes to go do that, but if you already have, or just don’t care about the diet portion of my plan, feel free to move on now

WHEN THEY SAY 1/4 MILE, THEY MEAN TWICE THAT

I mentioned in the closing portion of the last installment that I had joined a gym, and a friend was meeting me there three days a week. Having a buddy to do this with helps in a lot of ways. If I don’t want to get up at 5:30 on a particular day to drive for 20 minutes and sweat, just knowing that I will let a friend down makes me do it anyway. Of course, the fact that this friend, Louie is his name, would also never let me hear the end of it if I skipped a day, is also incentive. Men can be really tough on each other sometimes, but in this case, it is tough love. I would do the same if the roles were reversed. We both recognize the urgent need to get in better shape as both of our gas gauges are below half-empty, if you know what I mean. We are on the downhill portion of life, but it feels more and more like I am walking uphill. Oh wait, that is because I am walking uphill.

The first thing we do each trip to the gym is to warm up on the treadmills with the rolling hills option that randomly inclines the treadmill at various angles to help us get our heart rates up. We do that for at least half an hour, and then move on to various exercises that were laid out for us by the trainer. He based the exercises on our age, physical state, injuries, etc. I half expected him to take one look at us and say we should just walk for a couple of years and then come back to discuss the next steps, but I am happy to say that he even had a plan for my sorry physical state that included a well-rounded list of exercises to stretch muscles, build them, increase stamina, lose weight, and provide cardiovascular benefits. It also includes things to do on the days I don’t go to the gym, though these are mostly of the walking and stretching variety.

Exercise doesn’t mean being confined to the walls of a gym or your house. My wife and I have gotten back to camping again recently and one of her favorite things to do is to take me on hiking trails to see beautiful waterfalls that are located in places that you can’t drive to. I need to talk to the designer and builder of these waterfalls about the poor placement of them. Imagine building something so beautiful so far from the road! What were they thinking? Just since the last issue, she took me to Tallulah Falls in Tallulah Gorge State Park, and we went down at least 3000 steps, though they claim it is “only” 310 steps. Of course, going down that many steps also meant we had to go back up that many steps. To be fair, she didn’t expect me to do that. She took me first to a quarter mile trail that allowed us to see some of the gorge and she was going to leave it that. When I told her that I wanted to attempt the longer hike, mostly because I knew she wanted to, she hesitated and asked me if I was sure. After confirming that she had upped my life insurance before the trip, I agreed, and we set off on our adventure. As I write this now, I think I might have been played, but I will leave that for another day and time. Besides the steps there was also a very steep trail. The steps were for the parts that got too steep. It was a beautiful walk, and though I had to take my time coming back up, I actually did much better than I had expected. It feels like my recent activity is making a difference.

The next day she promised to go easier on me. She even promised that we wouldn’t be hiking any trails. We were just going to drive over to Black Rock Mountain State Park near Clayton, Georgia, to scout out how it would be to pull our large rig up there. The host at our current campground was concerned that we were going to attempt it and suggested we go take a look on this trip. So we did, and I will say that I understand the concern about getting our camper up there and on the spot. The roads are narrow and very winding, so our 55-foot-long combo of truck and camper will be a challenge, but one we feel we can overcome. After that, we went to the top of the mountain to the visitor’s center and the view was spectacular. We sat down in the less humid and cooler air up there on some rocking chairs and just relaxed for a while.

As we left the visitor’s center in the truck with the AC blowing right on my face, I was really looking forward to getting back to the campsite and relaxing and then having a nice meal. However, as we passed the trailhead for a waterfall, she who must be obeyed wanted to park at a nearby overlook and enjoy the view. After we did that, she looked longingly at the sign for the waterfall trail that said it was only a quarter mile, although the guidebook said it was a strenuous walk. I never can resist when she really wants something, so we started down the trail. I think I know what went wrong here. When they say a trail is a quarter mile, that’s how far it is in the x

WHAT IS CORTISONE?

Many people with joint pain and inflammation are quite familiar with cortisone, a medicine that relieves pain and helps reduce inflammation (swelling).

Cortisone is actually a man-made version of a naturally occurring hormone called cortisol that is produced by the adrenal glands. Cortisone is a type of corticosteroid, a class of steroid hormones with a huge variety of applications in different formulations all over the body. Although corticosteroid is often shortened to “steroid,” corticosteroids are not the same thing as anabolic steriods, the kind athletes sometimes use to bulk up or to gain a competitive edge over their opponents.

Cortisone is often administered by injection directly into the source of the problem, be that a hip, knee, shoulder, spine, feet, hands, or elsewhere. Recipients are often dealing with tendinitis, various versions of arthritis, bursitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, gout, tennis elbow, trigger finger, or some other joint, tendon or bone issue.

Cortisone shots are slightly slow to act, but they make up for it over time. Relief from the injection may take a day or two (and perhaps up to a full week) to take full effect, but the benefit can last anywhere from a few weeks to several months. Sometimes a single injection is enough to provide permanent relief, since it can eliminate the injection site’s pain and inflammation long enough for the body to finish its own job of healing.

That’s a good thing because long-term cortisone use can damage bones and tendons around the injection site. For that reason doctors like to spread cortisone injections out over time. Some doctors prefer to limit cortisone shots to the same area of the body to perhaps three a year.

Injections are not the only route of administration for cortisone. There are oral and topical cortisone medications for treating everything from systemic inflammation and asthma to bug bites and poison ivy

Cortisone and its related adrenal cortex-generated hormone derivatives are so useful that the men who discovered and isolated them for medical applications earned the 1950 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for their work.