Medical Examiner 2-18-22

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FEBRUARY 18, 2022

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I am not my hair Submitted by Kelli Walker • Augusta, Georgia

My affair with alopecia started almost two decades ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. Shortly after the birth of my daughter I went to the beauty salon and while my beautician was styling my hair she noticed small areas where hair was thinning. They weren’t noticeable so she finished the style and sent me on my way. Several months later I began experiencing allergic reactions to perms, and started to wear protective styles (weaves) to avoid using chemicals in my hair. This worked for years and allowed me to ignore the issue.

I remember getting braids and during the appointment the stylist told me she wouldn’t be able to do a section of hair because the area was bald. It was pretty small and I managed to comb hair over the area to make it less visible.

Years continued to pass as I went through life too consumed with living and responsibilities to realize I was causing permanent damage to my hair follicles by doing nothing. Eventually I scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist, but they focused on the

Kelli Walker infection instead of the hair loss. I would occasionally test the waters by perming my hair but I paid in the long run. My worst experience landed me in the hospital with a staph infection.

Learning to accept my reality was quite difficult and led to some really bad habits, like unhealthy relationships, overeating, and other behaviors that put my health and safety at risk. I never had issues meeting people or dating, but finding lasting relationships was a challenge. Unconsciously I felt I wasn’t worthy of love, sincer-

ity or compassion because who would love me enough to stay after finding out my secret?

Over time I learned that these unhealthy habits mask the pain, but deep down I still struggled and wasn’t happy with myself.

Living through this pandemic and seeing so many people lose loved ones forced me to look within and face some demons head-on. I sat in the house day after day during the early lockdowns, scrolled social media sites, spent much-needed time with family, and even managed to find more time for myself. For once in my life I was grateful for the simplest things and humbled to be part of the living. Late one evening while looking at myself in the mirror, I grabbed a pair of scissors and begin to cut. I recorded it on video and spent several minutes crying, gazing into the mirror at what I had done.

I called into the other room and my fiancé walked in, shocked to see I had cut all my hair off.

To say I don’t struggle with this new norm would be a lie.

To be honest, some days it’s Please see MY HAIR page 5

got chocolate?

by Sunitha Zechariah PhD RDN LD CNSC FAND Associate Director, Morrison Healthcare Dietetic Internship

February is National Chocolate Month, a perfect excuse to indulge in a variety of chocolates, candies, and sweets. On Valentine’s Day alone, approximately 58 million pounds of chocolate is sold. According to the National Confectioner’s Association, chocolate consumption rose 4.7% in 2021.

We owe it to the Olmecs, Mayans, and Aztecs for introducing us to these luscious, decadent sweet treats. It is said that Aztec people valued cacao seeds (from which chocolate is made) so much that they considered it as the food of gods.

Using cacao seeds, Aztecs made a bitter, spicy drink called Xocolatl, which was enjoyed only by the royals and the elite.

This Xocolatl is where we get the English word chocolate.

As we get ready to enjoy chocolate this month, let’s make one small change. Let’s choose dark chocolate over the ever-popular milk chocolate. Dark chocolate may not be as sweet as some of the milk chocolate contenders, but there is a wealth of research that points to the health benefits of dark chocolate. Chocolate containing more than 50% cocoa is considered dark chocolate. The darker the chocolate, the better for your health. Look for dark chocolates that have 70% cocoa or more in the ingredients. Read the food label and the ingredient list to ensure you are getting the healthiest option. Scientific studies have shown that dark chocolate has high amounts of antioxidants, more than even blueberries, acai berries, or green tea. Antioxidants protect our cells Please see CHOCOLATE page 6

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

THE FIRST 40 YEARS ARE ALWAYS THE HARDEST

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

PART Q OF A 26-PART SERIES

PARENTHOOD

by David W. Proefrock, PhD

If you answered: A. It is true that children begin to talk at different times, but this time you should be worried. Two years old is much too late to not be saying any words at all. He should be evaluated.

B. This won’t hurt anything, but it probably isn’t going to help either. Missing a developmental milestone by this much is cause for worry.

C. This is the right thing to do. He has been delayed in a developmental milestone by more than a year. This is cause for serious concern. Take him to his pediatrician.

D. This might work if he had shown that he is able to say words, but won’t do it. It’s not the right thing in this situation.

Developmental milestones are not hard and fast rules, but they should not be ignored either. Lack of speech by age 2 is a serious delay. It could be a sign of hearing problems, cognitive deficits, or other language problems that should be addressed. +

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Dr. Proefrock is a retired clinical and forensic child psychologist.

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Q IS FOR QUARANTINE The concept of enforced isolation to prevent disease dates back to at least the Biblical nation of Israel. More recently (but not much) Galen, the 2nd century A.D. Roman authority on medicine, warned that when it comes to certain diseases, it was “dangerous to associate with those afflicted.” Some 350 years later, in 549, Byzantine emperor Justinian decreed one of the earliest laws isolating travelers arriving from areas where plague was raging.

The word quarantine, however, is of much newer vintage (relatively speaking) than the mid-500s. In about 1374, writes Dr. Howard Markel in his book Quarantine!, the Port of Venice, Italy, enacted a law that required ships entering the port — along with their crew, passengers, and cargo — to be quarantined for forty days before they were allowed to disembark. Quarantina means “forty” in Italian. Quaranta giorni means “forty days.”

Understandably, this was not a popular policy among

Editor’s note: this article was adapted from a QA article which appeared in the Dec. 18, 2020 issue of the Medical Examiner

“And whoever saves one — it is as if he had saved mankind entirely.”

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Your 2-year-old son doesn’t say words yet. He cries and makes noises, but hasn’t said anything that even sounds like words. You know other 2 year-olds are talking. What do you do?

A. Don’t worry about it. Some children just begin talking a little later than others.

B. Talk to him more often. Spend a few minutes several times during the day talking to him and encouraging him to imitate words.

C. Take him to his pediatrician and let the doctor know about your concerns.

D. Begin to withhold things he wants until he makes sounds to request them. If he wants juice, make him say juice. Gradually make him at least make noises that come closer to sounding like words.

seagoers, so by 1403 the Port of Venice had built and opened its first maritime isolation hospital, or lazaretto, on a nearby island. Passengers and crew could at least leave the cramped quarters aboard ship for presumably slightly better accommodations in a lazaretto. That word, no doubt new to most of us, means “an isolation hospital for people with infectious diseases, especially leprosy or plague.” It comes from the Italian diminutive of lazarro, meaning “beggar,” which in turn comes from the Latin word lazarus, an etymological reference to the Biblical parable about Lazarus, a beggar covered in sores.

At some point since 2020, many of us have had to endure some form of quarantine. The length is probably up for debate: some people had to work from home temporarily, others probably feel like they’ve been in some form of quarantine non-stop for the past two years. Either way, never forget: this too shall pass.

Eventually. +

APR. 8

TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT OR GET MORE INFORMATION:

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

MoneyDoctor WE WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. THAT’S WHY WE’RE NOT GETTING VACCINATED.

LONG-TERM CARE - DO YOU HAVE A PLAN? If you have not started planning for longterm care expenses yet, today is the day!

Genworth does a great job of releasing information on the cost of care for eldercare.

The website is https://www.genworth.com/ aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html.

The site provides numbers for in-home care, community and assisted living, and nursing homes for each part of the country. Today the national average for a nursing home room is around $100,000 annually. If you have less annual retirement income than the cost for care, than you will have a gap. Most people will need to save additional money or have long-term care insurance to cover this gap.

In addition to understanding your current gap today, it is also important to consider inflation. Unfortunately, eldercare annual cost increases have outpaced base U.S. inflation most years over the past 20 years.

For retirees that rely on fixed incomes such as Social Security or pensions, the higher inflation for eldercare makes paying for it with fixed incomes sources harder each year.

The Genworth site also allows you to plug in inflation assumptions to project future costs.

When we are asked, “Should I buy longterm care insurance?” We typically respond, “We won’t know until we look at your entire financial picture.” Everyone’s situation is

different. The one thing we do know is that you should absolutely have a plan for eldercare costs. That plan may or may not include insurance. Many people self-insure the risk.

The important thing is that you have a plan.

If you need to save more for eldercare after age 65, consider taking a part-time job.

Even a few hundred dollars a month can be very helpful. If you cannot work, consider cutting expenses to increase savings by watching the discretionary part of your budget closely. The discretionary portion is normally made up of entertainment, travel, eating out, etc.

One thing that many families struggle with is communicating the long-term care plan.

Often your kids or other family members end up jumping in to help. Before they start helping you, it is best to have already communicated the plan you have in place. Does it include insurance in a assisted living facility, or do you plan to stay at home as long as possible and use your savings to pay for care providers? If you end up needing care quickly and are experiencing cognitive decline, you will be very thankful you and your family discussed the plan ahead of time. +

by Clayton Quamme, a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) with AP Wealth Management, LLC (www.apwealth.com). AP Wealth is a financial planning and investment advisory firm with offices in Augusta, GA.

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There are many reasons why people are vaccine hesitant, and this one has certainly made its rounds. The rumor is that the vaccine can cause infertility, and it has received enough attention to qualify for the attention of clinical researchers.

The findings of a study of 2,000 couples conducted by the National Institutes of Health were released January 20.

Among the variables researchers examined: whether either partner had received one or two doses of a vaccine, the type of vaccine they received, how recently they were vaccinated, and whether or not they had ever tested positive for COVID-19.

Study participants ranged from 21 to 45 years old and were followed for up to a year, or until they became pregnant.

Compared to unvaccinated couples, researchers found no differences in the chances of conception if either male or female partner had been vaccinated. However, couples had a slightly lower chance of conception if the male partner had tested positive for COVID-19 within 60 days before a menstrual cycle, suggesting that the virus can temporarily reduce male fertility. Fever, known to reduce sperm count and motility, is a common COVID side effect, which could explain the temporary decline in fertility. Erectile dysfunction, also common after COVID infections, was named as another possible reason.

In the long run, testing positive for COVID was not associated with a decrease in fertility, although couples where the male partner had COVID were 18% less likely to conceive during the woman’s next cycle of fertility. No difference was observed in fertility rates for couples where the male partner had tested positive more than 60 days before a cycle compared to couples where the man had not tested positive.

The study concluded that vaccination had no harmful effects on fertility, but that vaccinations could help avert the risks to fertility posed by COVID-19. +

MEDICALEXAMINER

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www.AugustaRx.com The Medical Examiner’s mission: to provide information on topics of health and wellness of interest to general readers, to offer information to assist readers in wisely choosing their healthcare providers, and to serve as a central source of salubrious news within every part of the Augusta medical community.

Direct editorial and advertising inquiries to: Daniel R. Pearson, Publisher & Editor E-mail: Dan@AugustaRx.com AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER P.O. Box 397, Augusta, GA 30903-0397

(706) 860-5455 www.AugustaRx.com • E-mail: Dan@AugustaRX.com www.Facebook.com/AugustaRX Opinions expressed by the writers herein are their own and/or their respective institutions. Neither the Augusta Medical Examiner, Pearson Graphic 365 Inc., nor its agents or employees take any responsibility for the accuracy of submitted information, which is presented for general informational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment, consult your doctor.

The appearance of advertisements in this publication does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services advertised. © 2022 PEARSON GRAPHIC 365 INC.

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FEBRUARY 18, 2022

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

#159 IN A SERIES

Who is this?

ON THE ROAD TO BETTER HEALTH A PATIENT’S PERSPECTIVE Editor’s note: Augusta writer Marcia Ribble, Ph.D., is a retired English and creative writing professor who offers her unique perspective as a patient. Contact her at marciaribble@hotmail.com

by Marcia Ribble

T

he grandson of slaves, this man deserves a place among medical pioneers for his ground-breaking research of people with degenerative diseases of the brain, particularly Alzheimer’s disease. He was the very first African American psychiatrist.

As was common in his day, Solomon Carter Fuller regularly faced discrimination, but he turned those lemons into lemonade.

Fuller’s career path was set in motion by his grandfather, a Virginia slave who bought his and his wife’s freedom, then moved to Liberia in 1852 as medical missionaries to help establish a settlement of expatriate African Americans there.

Fuller was born in Monrovia, Liberia, in 1872, and thanks to the example set by his grandparents, had an interest in medicine from his youth up.

Fuller emigrated to the United States in 1889 to attend college in North Carolina, then Long Island College Medical School before completing his medical degree at Boston University School of Medicine in 1897, where he eventually became a faculty member.

Although that sounds progressive for the era, Dr. Fuller often experienced discrimination in the form of unequal pay and assignments that were beneath his training. That’s where he made his lemonade.

Fuller was often given the task of performing autopsies.

Viewed as thankless and disagreeable by many, Fuller used the opportunity to discover and document changes in the brains of those with head injuries and a history of cognitive issues.

Intrigued by his findings, Fuller pursued a two-year internship in neuropathology at Westborough State Hospital in Westborough, Massachusetts, before being chosen as one of five foreign students to do post-graduate training and research in Germany at the Royal Psychiatric Hospital of the University of Munich under Alois Alzheimer.

After he returned to Massachusetts as a clinical pathologist, Fuller discovered previously unknown culprits in degenerative brain disease and Alzheimer’s, believed to be caused by hardening of the arteries prior to Fuller’s research. He also researched patients with chronic alcoholism and discovered many of the key markers of the neuropathology of alcoholism (see also This Is Your Brain on p. 8).

Despite his worldwide reputation, Fuller’s highest professional position was associate professor at Boston University’s School of Medicine. Upon retirement from academia in 1933, however, he received the title of Emeritus Professor of Neurology at Boston University.

He married internationally known sculptor Meta Vaux Warrick Fuller in 1909, and the couple had three sons. After 1933, Fuller continued in private practice as a physician, neurologist and psychiatrist, although diabetes cost him his vision (in 1944) and his life (in 1953). +

This morning I am remembering a cold winter day almost 60 years ago when I was seven months pregnant and my husband and I decided to go ice fishing.

In those days we didn’t have the fancy clothing we have now for being out in very cold weather, so we jury-rigged an outfit for me. The pants were thick ones that didn’t fit around my big belly, so we used some clothesline to tie them around me using the belt loops. I wore a t-shirt and a sweatshirt and borrowed my dad’s heavy red hunting coat, so I was layered up and warm.

We stuffed the equipment we’d need into our little Volkswagon Beetle: a sled, our short ice fishing poles, a big bucket for bait and fish, and an ice spud used to make a hole to fish through. Off we headed to Saginaw Bay, which was frozen over, although Lake Huron wasn’t frozen yet. It was too early in the winter to drive onto the ice, so we would be walking out to our fishing spot. We added a bottle of ginger brandy to ward off the chill (back then doctors often advised pregnant and nursing mothers to have a drink to relax them.

Whatever women normally ate or drank before pregnancy is what we continued throughout pregnancy and nursing. And most women put their babies on homemade formula either right after birth or shortly after coming home).

When we arrived at the parking area at the road’s end there were already other cars there from others who were already on the ice. In Michigan, many country roads end at one of the Great Lakes, sometimes formally, with a beach and parking lot, but often they just abruptly ended.

We put our gear on the sled and began walking out onto the ice. We didn’t notice the warm winds from the South that would begin to both melt the surface of the ice and create a thick, dense fog about an hour after we arrived and set up. Spencer spudded a hole in the ice, we put the minnows on the hooks and lowered the lines down the hole. We used the little net from the minnow bucket to scoop out any slushy ice threatening to close the hole. And we turned the big bucket over for me to sit on.

Spencer sat on the sled. It was too early in the season for ice shanties to be set up and hauled out onto the ice, so everyone tried to take something to sit on while we fished.

On the Great Lakes the weather can turn suddenly, and all at once that day we were surrounded by white-out conditions, where you can’t see more than a few feet in any direction. While that is dangerous on land, it is even more so on water, especially when you are within walking distance of open water. We packed up our equipment and immediately began to walk in what we hoped was the way back to our car. We walked briskly at first, but after an hour of walking realized we were very badly lost.

It had only taken us 15 minutes to walk to our fishing spot coming from the shore.

After another hour of walking, we met up with four men who were also lost in the fog.

None of us had a compass to show us which direction to go.

I was tired and hungry, but as the ice melted I became frightened as well.

What if all the strain of walking and being lost and all that was happening caused me to go into labor? How could I have a baby out on the ice?

To be continued... +

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

ADVENTURES IN

Middle Age

BY J.B. COLLUM

a lot worse. I hope she didn’t take any photos.

Oh my!

I made it through the night and arrived on time for the surgery. You know, in time to get myself completely ready in their backless gown and then wait around for a few hours.

I wish I could get my clients to show up at a specific time and then make them wait for hours for me to see them whenever I got around to them.

So, we waited. Finally, at around 1 pm, they came in and started my anesthetic meds. I remember them wheeling me toward the operating room and then, boom, I was waking up in the recovery ward. It was all very confusing. The first thing I remember hearing is a male nurse saying some things to the female staff that their HR department wouldn’t be very happy about. When they noticed I was awake his choice of conversation topic changed abruptly. They told me that everything was fine, and I was in recovery.

I really wish I could regularly get some medicine like that. I would take it before unpleasant tasks and then wake up after it was all over. Of course, that won’t work. Oh well.

After a couple of hours in recovery they moved me to a regular room. I was ravenous of course, and thankfully I got a real meal not long after arriving in my regular hospital room. I ate every last bite of the provided meal and the Chick-fil-A sandwich I sent my wife to get for me from downstairs. She even let me have a few French fries! I ended up spending one night in the hospital, but my wife wasn’t allowed to stay. I was happy for her to get a break and sleep at home in our own bed anyway. After she left, I tried to go to sleep, but didn’t manage to get much sleep. They came in so often to check on me that it was difficult. On top of that, the pain meds they gave me made me feel wide awake and like I could do anything. I was making lists of things I was going to do during my recovery period at home. Most of the list was about things I was going to learn while I convalesced. The list was extensive and covered pretty much all the aspects of my trade. Of course, the list is completely unrealistic as I would soon learn when I got home, only to discover that my pain medicine dosage was cut in half. But we will cover that next time. +

{

For my regular readers (yes, you Mom, and my wife, and the rest of you, all 11 or so), you will recall my previous column as I talked about how new ailments visit us regularly.

They’re like monthly albums from the old Columbia House Records music club. You will also recall that my current predicament is a particularly bad album. Not as bad as any of the William Shatner cover albums, or even Phil Collins albums when he went through that strange phase of singing sappy, pop music. But still bad. Don’t get me wrong, when Phil Collins is at his best, he is great. I was just never a fan of “Can’t Hurry Love” or any of the other similar songs from around that time. But enough of me potentially alienating any of my dozen fans. I can’t afford to do that, so if you like that music, forget everything I just said. There, that should take care of that.

Wait...where was I? Ah, yes, my surgery.

I had my surgery scheduled on Tuesday, February 2. I arrived on time, but not brighteyed and bushy tailed. They made sure of that by having me on what they call a special diet. I think I would have been better off just straight fasting. The last day was the worst as I could only have Jell-O, broth, sports drinks, coffee, tea, and water. On top of that, I had to take what old-timey doctors call purgatives.

Don’t confuse these with laxatives. No, laxatives are gentle. These purgatives make everything in your digestive track hightail it for the exit, and unfortunately there is only one exit. So the small amount of nutrition you managed to get on that restrictive diet has now been completely removed from your system leaving no trace behind.

So, what did I do? I passed out. One minute I was sitting on the commode, the next, I got up, washed my hands, and one second later I heard my wife say, “What happened?”

I realized that my eyes were closed, and I was a bit surprised to open them and look up to see my wife with her head through the opened door. It took me a moment to figure out that I was on the floor — and had been there for considerably longer than one second — and then a moment more to answer her. I finally said, “What was what?” “The noise,” she said, though she had already figured out that the noise was me hitting the floor.

So there I was, naked, starving, exhausted, and sitting on my bathroom floor. It took a large glass of tea, a quart of Powerade and several minutes before I mustered the strength to get back up and put some clothes on. Thank God I have a loving wife, or it could have gone

{

“What was that noise?”Just me hitting the floor unconscious.

J.B. Collum is a local novelist, humorist and columnist who wants to be Mark Twain when he grows up.

He may be reached at johnbcollum@ gmail.com

FACEBOOK.COM/AUGUSTARX

MY HAIR… from page 1

hard to get out of bed. Having the support of loved ones has been crucial to my acceptance and in being able to find beauty within. Society is so consumed with beauty and as young girls we’re taught that long flowing hair and a slim waist define beauty. And let’s not forget to mention men and the lack of support they give women who experience hair loss. When I decided to post my video to reveal my struggles with alopecia I received several inbox messages. The ones that stuck out the most often ended with “you are still beautiful,” as if I received a consolation prize for being brave enough to enter the contest.

At the end of the day the truth is we all struggle with personal challenges, and self image is one I personally relate to. I continue to focus on doing things that make me happy. Sometimes unplugging from social media is the best medicine for me. We get stuck watching other peoples’ lives; looking at their posts makes us feel that our simple lives don’t measure up.

Sometimes we even question God by saying “why not me.” I’ve taken pleasure in appreciating those that are in my circle and the lives that I have touched in a positive way. I try take a little more time to acknowledge those that are usually ignored.

Learning to love yourself is truly a great feeling and I appreciate finally learning that lesson. +

EVERYBODY LOVES A GOOD STORY

AND EVERYBODY HAS A STORY. WE’D LOVE TO HEAR YOURS.

MEDICINE IN THE FIRST PERSON

Send your interesting (or even semi-interesting) stories to the Medical Examiner, PO Box 397, Augusta, GA 30903 or e-mail to Dan@AugustaRx. com. Tell us if you want it “by you” or if it needs to be anonymous. Thanks!

When I win the Mystery Word Contest I can finally ditch this nasty old granny teacup!

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

CHOCOLATE… from page 1

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against potential cancer-causing molecules. High quality dark chocolate is actually one of the most antioxidant-rich foods.

The one downside of dark chocolate for some people is the taste. Antioxidants are the culprit behind the thick, bitter taste in the chocolate, so the darker you go, the more bitter it gets.

When you try dark chocolate, you may not find it as palatable at first, but as you keep trying, your taste buds will adapt to the flavor. Trust me, once you start enjoying dark chocolate, you will no longer be drawn to the excessive sweetness in milk chocolate.

Nonetheless, bear in mind that dark chocolate can be higher in calories and saturated fat. One ounce of dark chocolate per day would be the ideal amount to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Another major benefit that research has revealed is the positive role dark chocolate plays in heart health. An ounce of dark chocolate a day may reduce the risk of heart disease. A study published in the Journal of Clinical Nutrition by Djoussé et al. found that the risk of heart disease was reduced by 57% when people ate dark chocolate five or more times each week.

The flavonoids in dark chocolate help arteries relax, causing the blood to flow with less resistance, resulting in reduced blood pressure. Additionally, dark chocolate and cocoa improve heart health by decreasing bad cholesterol (LDL) and increasing good cholesterol (HDL) in our body.

If you’re still not convinced by the above reasons, here is another one. Dark chocolate is nutritious. It has a decent amount of soluble fiber, proteins, and is loaded with minerals such as iron, magnesium, zinc, copper, potassium, phosphorus, selenium, and manganese. Moreover, a standard bar of 70% to 85% dark chocolate contains 24 grams of sugar while milk chocolate has nearly twice that amount, about 48 grams of sugar.

Now that you are completely persuaded to try dark chocolate, you can relish it in a variety of ways. Try dark chocolate covered nuts such as almonds, pecans, or walnuts. You may also like dark chocolate-covered fruits like strawberries, mangoes, bananas, apples, and avocadoes. You can also add dark chocolate to fruit smoothies or chia seed pudding. Try dark hot chocolate in place of the usual hot chocolate for your perfect winter drink. If you are brave enough, you can also try the Aztec’s spicy “Xocolatl” drink made with unsweetened cocoa powder mixed in water that has been boiled with chili peppers and strained.

The bottom line is, win over your Valentine’s love and affection this week and every week with dark chocolate.

Remember: “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz +

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

IT’S COOL THAT CARS LET US LIVE IN THEIR HOMES

by Kim Beavers, MS, RDN, CDCES Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Chef Coach, Author Follow Kim on Facebook: facebook.com/eatingwellwithkimb

SALMON WITH CUCUMBER & CARROT RIBBONS This ribbon salad is wonderfully light and refreshing and pairs perfectly with the richness of salmon for two key elements of a delicious and nutritious meal.

SINCE 1921

Salmon • Juice of 1 lime (about 2 tablespoons) • 2 tablespoons soy sauce • 1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger • 1 clove garlic, minced • ½ teaspoon toasted sesame oil • 4 (4-oz) boneless, skinless salmon fillets • 2 green onions, chopped Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

In a small bowl, stir together lime juice, soy sauce, ginger, garlic and oil. Place salmon fillets in a 1-½ quart baking dish. Pour juice mixture over top of salmon.

Bake the salmon for 10-12 minutes or until fish is done and flakes easily. Serve with green onions.

While the salmon is cooking prepare the cucumber salad.

Cucumber Carrot Salad • 2 cucumbers • 1 carrot • 3 tablespoons rice vinegar • ½ teaspoon brown sugar • 1 teaspoon soy sauce • 2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds To make cucumber rib-

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A ribboned salad, a perfect pairing for baked salmon

bons, peel most of the skin off the cucumber and cut off both ends. Hold the cucumber upright with one end on a cutting board and “peel” the cucumber vertically using a peeler. Repeat peeling on one side until the seeds are exposed. Turn the cucumber a quarter turn and repeat the peeling process until seeds are exposed on the second side. Do this on all 4 sides of the cucumber.

Repeat the procedure for the second cucumber. Peel the carrot and create ribbons of the carrot in the same manner as the cucumber. At some point you will be left with a tiny carrot too small

to create a ribbon. I suggest you simply eat the carrot at that point!

In a small bowl combine the rice vinegar, brown sugar, soy sauce and whisk to mix. Drizzle this over the vegetable ribbons and sprinkle with sesame seeds just before serving. + Yield: 4 servings (Serving size: 1 salmon fillet and ¼ cup Cucumber salad) Nutrition Breakdown: Calories 200, Fat 8g (1g saturated fat), Cholesterol 60mg, Carbohydrate 6g, Fiber 1g, Sodium 360mg, Protein 24g.

Plate Plan: 3 Lean Meats, 1 Vegetable

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FEBRUARY 18, 2022

AN ALCOHOLIC’S SECRET BODY

Ever admired a winning personality, only to later find out that he/she was an alcoholic? Who would’ve known!

And who would’ve known the disease process going on inside their bodies, hidden from sight, sometimes even from the alcoholic!

Perhaps because diseases don’t start out with severe symptoms, it’s often a slow, insidious process from early, to middle, and finally to latter stages.

Imagine my surprise in

1987 when I heard that alcoholism is a disease! I thought, “Wrong.” I was never taught this in seminary; I thought an alcoholic was just somebody who drank too much. I was in for a rude awakening when I interned as a chaplain in a treatment center operated by a local hospital. In time I became Program Director there, one of my prior “I’ll never do that” resolutions.

My first task with a patient was developing a summary of their lives to formulate a

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treatment plan, which included reading their physical exam reports. That changed my previous attitude in a hurry! It confirmed the findings of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (go to niaaa.nih.gov for shocking statistics) that alcohol causes not only the most common malady we associate with drinking (cirrhosis of the liver) but also affects the heart (stroke, hypertension), pancreas, immune system, the brain (oh my, you should see the imaging photos!), and elevates cancer risk.

Alcohol also seems to batter women’s bodies more rapidly than men’s. For instance, women who only have one drink a day have a 9% greater chance of developing breast cancer. My own sister died of an alcohol-related disease – fatty liver – at age 35.

I’ve heard it said, “alcoholism isn’t a disease because people bring it on themselves.” OK, research that.

This morning I Googled the top causes of death in the US…the top 2 being: heart disease, then lung cancer.

Then I Googled the top preventable causes of death, the ones people often bring on themselves. You guessed it: heart disease, then lung cancer. Fortunately insurance plans cover treatment for these illnesses, though people often bring them on them-

selves. And like those diseases, alcoholism is also genetic in nature. About 80-90% of alcoholics have alcoholism in their family history! It can even skip a generation or two.

All of that is to introduce all this: Dimension 2 of the ASAM Patient Placement Criteria, Biomedical Conditions and Complications. You see, if the ASAM assessment isn’t done, a patient in need of treatment for substance abuse could be placed in the wrong level of care and even die. This dimension is to determine who needs to be treated as an inpatient – such as chronic conditions described above that need constant medical monitoring, pain management, the presence of communicable diseases, pregnancy and the need to protect an unborn child, and so on. A pregnant mother who is not under monitoring and accountability may bear a child that could suffer physical and medical severity for a lifetime and be a costly burden to all who pay the expenses (often you and me).

The good news of treatment is that with proper placement and medical attention, many alcoholics do well and never return to the bottle. Many years ago one of the individuals I treated was required to complete treat-

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN A monthly series by an Augusta drug treatment professional

ment for his severe alcoholism before he could obtain a liver transplant. Though reluctantly at first, he grasped the principles of recovery and waited, waited, waited for a liver donor to appear. When he was given only 24 hours to live on his old alcohol-diseased liver, he was number 4 on the transplant list when a donor liver became available.

He was accelerated to the #1 position and had a successful operation. A year later he appeared in my office and I literally did not recognize him! He went on to finish out his career as a successful businessman, husband, and grandfather in the community until his retirement 15 years later, and up to this day he is as sober as the proverbial judge!

Odd thing is, just to look at him you’d never know his story. +

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Read us online at AugustaRX.com

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

One night 4 inches of snow fell gently upon my property.

This is what happened next.

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY (most of the time) A series by Flatwoods Frankie

8:10 am: A feminist asked why I didn’t make a snow woman too.

8:17 am: Another feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.

8:40 am: The police arrived saying someone had been offended and that I should cease and desist henceforth.

8:20 am: The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:42 am: The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman depicted women in a subservient, domestic role.

8:22 am: A transgender man…woman...person... asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:43 am: My Homeowners Association threatened me with eviction.

8:25 am: The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose; food should be eaten, not be used to decorate snow figures.

8:45 am: A TV news crew arrived and asked if I know the difference between

8:28 am: I was called a racist because the snow couple was white.

8:30 am: I used food coloring to make a mixed couple and be more racially inclusive.

9:10 am: I was asked if I had any accomplices. My children were taken by Social Services.

9:29 am: Left-wing protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested for my various dastardly deeds. They carried signs and placards with most of the words spelled correctly.

9:45 am: My boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that was all over social media.

10:00 am: Any minute now, I’m expecting climate change activists will demand I stop breathing because I’m emitting carbon dioxide in the atmosphere when I breath and making icebergs melt at the North Pole.

10:15 am: I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.

8:37 am: I was criticized for using a black face on a white snowperson.

Moral: If there is any moral to this sad story, it’s how easy it is to offend people these days. And it’s nearly impossible for people to agree on anything.

Maybe the solution to this incident could be new federal legislation outlawing snow.

That would prevent problems like this in the future. +

8:38 am: A white supremacist said a mixed race couple was contrary to good moral teachings and undermined orderly society progress.

8:39 am: The middle eastern gentleman across the road demanded the snow woman

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be completely covered to display modesty and avoid contributing to moral decay.

9:00 am: I was on the news as a suspected racist terroristic homophobic sensibility offender, among other things, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

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8:15 am: So I made a snow woman.

snowmen and snowwomen.

“Snowballs,” I replied. Now I’m a sexist.

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CRASH

COURSE

More Americans have died on US roads since 2006 than in World Wars I & II combined

R

egular readers of Crash Course have seen a few columns in recent months about the US Department of Transportation’s stated goal of zero deaths and serious injuries on American roads. Do not adjust your Examiner.

Zero! We first reported on this in November, at which time we said “Let’s be realistic: that day will never happen.” But the US DOT is sticking with their story. Just a couple weeks ago they reiterated the target number: “Zero is the only acceptable number of deaths and serious injuries on our roadways.”

How realistic do you think that goal is?

We heard from a retired Augusta judge who has presided over an untold number of court cases involving traffic offenses ranging from parking tickets to fatal accidents.

He made the point that patrol division officers, the ones who investigate what you and I call “accidents,” don’t believe in accidents.

Their standard operating procedure in every case is to determine who was at fault; who caused the crash. So every collision (or nearly every one) results in a citation, and sometimes one for both (or all) drivers involved.

In other words, if someone is at fault, then by definition that someone could have done — or not done — something that would have prevented the collision from occurring. In the eyes of the law, every crash has a cause that was the fault of one or more of those involved: speeding, aggressive driving, tailgating, poor maintenance leading to a mechanical issue like bad brakes, a dirty windshield, and so on.

When you think of collisions in those terms — cause and prevention — it does make it seem like zero might not be completely unrealistic. + Editor’s note: the Crash Course subtitle has been updated to reflect current statistics. It no longer says “since 2000.” It now says “since 2006.”

Michael Sharkey, MD Lauren Ploch, MD Caroline Wells, PA-C Chris Thompson, PA-C John Cook, MD, Emeritus GENERAL, SURGICAL & COSMETIC DERMATOLOGY

Augusta Office:

Aiken Office:

GADERM.COM

YOU ARE ESSENTIAL DON'T DELAY. GET THE CARE YOU NEED.

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

HUMAN BEHAVIOR You and your spouse pass each other with a grunt on the way to work— you to the office downstairs and your spouse to the office in the bedroom.

by Jeremy Hertza, Psy.D. Or, you and your significant other squabble over who gets to go to the grocery store and who gets to stay home with the kids, because you both need time away. And “date night” has become the two of you collapsed on the couch, with the TV on in the background and each of you engrossed in your phones.

If you guessed this is love in the time of COVID, you guessed right.

Which means it’s even more important than ever that we’re deliberate about our relationships, both in terms of maintaining them day to day and spending time to rebuild intimacy.

In the past, “spending time together” might have looked like going to a restaurant or a movie. Since being in a crowd of people may not be the best idea right now, it’s time to be creative, but also communicative.

For example, maybe you proudly declare that you and your spouse will go out for a run or play golf together every Saturday morning. Good idea, but your spouse hates doing both those things. Instead of assuming what the other person wants, why not ask? The conversation can go something like this: “Hey, I want to spend more time together. What would you like to do? I’m thinking of XYZ.” Remember, if your relationship is feeling stale and stressed, having new experiences together—whether that’s going for a walk, cooking a new food, or trying a new hobby like painting (it doesn’t matter what it is)—can help you and your partner bond again.

It could be making a fancy dinner together at home; going all out on a special “movie” night with the newest movie available on your streaming service, dim lighting and theater snacks such as popcorn and candy; or finding any activity you enjoy doing together. It can also look like this: At least once a week, turn off the TV and phones and just talk without any distractions. This is not the time to catch up on who’s doing what chore or the schedule for the week. Really talk, about how you’re handling COVID, what you’re worried about, what you as a family can work on.

These deeper conversations can also help you better understand what your partner needs from you and how he or she likes to be shown love. It’s not about changing yourself, but it is about being there for them the way they need you to be there for them.

But, you say, we already spend all our time together. Maybe, but how much of that time are you actually engaged with one another? You may be sitting in the same house, even in the same room, but are you talking and really being together, or just silently watching TV together?

No matter the relationship—with your significant other, your kids, your parents, your friends—you have to plan on making the time to be together. The idea that it will just happen or that you will find time during the day just doesn’t work because we’re human—we’re easily distracted doing a million things at once.

So, yes, love in the time of COVID might be stressful. It’s often annoying and repetitive being stuck in the same place together. But guess what? It’s also an opportunity if you choose to think of it that way. It’s a reminder of what’s really important in our lives—and it’s an opportunity for us to make our relationships better. +

LOVE IN THE TIME OF COVID

Jeremy Hertza, PsyD, is the founder and medical director of Inpatient Psych Solutions. IPS is a health psychology and neuropsychology practice that works with health systems across the U.S. to provide outpatient and inpatient clinical care—both in-person and via telehealth—for the emotional, cognitive and psychological needs of patients. For appointments and more, visit inpatientpsych.org or call 706-204-1366.

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

the blog spot — posted by Carrye Daum, MD, on February 8, 2022 (Edited for space)

THOUGHTS FROM A DOCTOR WHO RUNS LATE Next time you are stuck in the waiting room of your doctor’s office, read this.

A few years ago, a Cleveland Clinic video made its way around the internet. It’s called “Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care,” and can be found on YouTube. If you’ve never watched it, you should. It takes you on a walk-through of various parts of a hospital – the front entrance, hallways, elevator, cafeteria, etc. – and silently labels what each person is going through.

I watched this video when I was in residency, and it really put things into perspective for me. You never know what someone else is going through.

No one goes to the hospital for fun. Everyone has a reason to be there. Everyone has something going on. Keep that in mind next time you get frustrated with the car in front of the hospital that’s going too slow. Or the person rushing past you to get into the elevator. Or the person who gets called from the office waiting room before you, even though you’ve already been waiting 30 minutes. You never know what someone else is going through.

My OB/GYN office is located on the second floor of my hospital, directly above the labor unit on the first floor. Most days, I am scheduled to see between 20 to 30 patients over the course of a few hours. My office schedule is a mixture of pregnancy visits, procedure visits, annual gynecologic exams, and problem visits.

When everything is going well with my patients, I am more likely to stay on time, or close to it. However, every visit has the potential to become more complicated than expected. Every visit could literally be the worst day of someone’s life. You never know what someone else is going through.

Not to mention the possibility of a laboring patient delivering during office hours – babies don’t wait for a gap in the schedule to arrive. Emergencies don’t wait, either. If your baby’s heart tones were down and you needed an emergent C-section, would you want me to finish seeing a few more patients before running downstairs to you? You never know what someone else is going through.

Most of my patients understand that events in the OB/GYN world don’t always go according to plan, and I will often end up running late. I appreciate your patience so much, and I will do my best not to rush your visit. If you’ve already waited 60 minutes for your 10-minute OB appointment, what good would it do to cut your visit short? Maybe then I can only be 57 minutes late for the next person? No. I keep trucking along through the schedule, doing my best to provide the same care to everyone that I would provide if I were perfectly on time.

Please trust that when I’m running late, I am not in my office enjoying an extended lunch, shopping on Amazon, painting my nails, etc. Some days, I am lucky to eat lunch at all. My mom has retired now, but we used to share an office. We would joke that the extremely hectic days are the “orange dust” days because we only had time for a bag of Cheetos for lunch. Every day I work, I wonder if I will get home before my four boys eat dinner or go to bed. You never know what someone else is going through (your doctor included).

Your doctor is a person, too. We aren’t running late for fun.

Every medical setting is short-staffed due to COVID-19 right now.

Please give everyone some grace. I would love to have a day of uncomplicated OB/GYN visits, but my mom always says, “If you want to get out of bed in the morning knowing exactly how your day is going to go, do not go into obstetrics.”

I love my job and the uncertainty that comes with it. We navigate some very happy and some very sad situations with patients. If you are getting frustrated waiting for your visit, look around the waiting room and realize that you never know what someone else is going through. +

You never know what someone else is going through

Carrye Daum is an obstetrician-gynecologist

11 +

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

From the Bookshelf Some people are always cheerful. But others are so steeped in pessimism and negativity that nothing seems to penetrate their bitter shell.

There is just something wrong with happy and optimistic people. At least that’s what negative people think.

Enter The Antidote. Oliver Burkeman’s book says it is, well, the antidote for people like that. As you can see, it’s subtitled, “Happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking.” In fact, earlier versions of this book included these words on the cover: “... detox for the self-help junkie.”

Yes, if you have to fight your gag reflex every time you see a smiley face or hear some syrupy maxim that dismisses one of the world’s thorniest problems in six words or less, this could be your book.

Burkeman argues that our relentless “pursuit of happiness” — where have we heard that phrase before?

— lies at the very root of the unhappiness problem.

He takes the counterintuitive approach: happiness may well come from acknowledging insecurity, pessimism, failure, and uncertainty, to name a few things.

Care to debate him on that?

Before you sign up for that, let us take stock of what we often look to for happiness: stuff.

Material possessions. Excessive recreation; living the good life; living for the weekend; autonomy; freedom; loosing the bounds of Victorian — or even 1950s — morals; plunging into careers to the exclusion of family, or alternately, severely scaling back work to focus on family.

None of it has worked for millions of people who still chase after happiness like the elusive carrot dangling just out of their reach.

But again, is seeking

Find the Mystery Word yet?

happiness so overtly actually acting — here comes that word again — counterintuitively?

Stare at someone and tell them not to smile. You’ll get a smile within seconds every time.

Tell someone they will be happy if they buy the latest gadget, move to the current trendy neighborhood, lose ten pounds, date (or marry) some luscious eye candy, sire 2-point-3 lovely children and buy a vacation home and, well, they just might not wind up being very happy.

Then again, they might be deliriously happy. It’s all about attitude.

It’s hard to imagine our ancestors of one or two hundred years ago being overly concerned with happiness as a destination.

They simply focused on living, and if they managed to do things reasonably well, happiness was a pleasant byproduct.

Today we seem to think happiness itself is the ultimate goal. That, in the words of Teddy Roosevelt, is like trying to nail jelly to the wall. + The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman, 257 pages, published November 2012 by Faber & Faber/Macmillan

+ 12

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

The Examiners +

Whew. I went to the wildest Super Bowl party ever.

What happened?

by Dan Pearson

I got super drunk in the They said I barfed hotel bar and then went up in the elevator six times That is disgusting on so many levels. to my room to sleep it off. I’m not impressed. as it went up.

PUZZLE ACROSS 1. First name of 42-A 6. Triangular sail 9. Post-mortem instructions?

13. Entertain 14. Method 15. Great Lake 16. Easy on the ears 18. Sea eagle 19. Endure (Scottish) 20. Donkeys 21. Competed 22. Little devils 24. Vital follower 25. Baby’s sock 28. Ancient Jewish tradition (var.)

31. Avril in England 32. Dish of raw vegetables 33. Mr. Turner 36. Tulip planting areas 37. Cavalry sword 38. Cone source 39. Black bird of South America 40. Banks of Chicago 41. Two-toned bearlike mammal 42. Last name of 1-A 44. Capital of Burma 45. Tic 47. Do no...

48. Songbird 49. Equip; fund 52. Apple’s ______ Touch 56. Potpourri 57. Bewilderment, confusion 59. Joy starter, sometimes 60. Ring-shaped optic membrane 61. Toxic castor oil derivative 62. New Age singer 63. Policeman 64. Slang for alcohol

BY

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Click on “MYSTERY WORD” • DEADLINE TO ENTER: NOON, FEB. 28, 2022

We’ll announce the winner in our next issue!

E X A M I N E R

6 7 4 2

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3 1

6

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3 1 8 7

S U D O K U

7 1

2

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6 3 2 3 5 6 2 1 4 7

4

by Daniel R. Pearson © 2022 All rights reserved.

DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.

by Daniel R. Pearson © 2022 All rights reserved.

DOWN 1. Like someone with alopecia 2. Giant of Nordic mythology 3. Trick 4. Inflammation of bone 5. Born 6. Creator of 52-A 7. Doing nothing 8. 2001 book, The Secret Life of ____ 9. Cotton archenemy 10. Hydrating/rinsing 11. Cloth woven from flax 12. City in northern England 14. Type of production?

17. Neck back 23. Gibson or Brooks 24. Unhappy 25. Ali’s last name 26. Fracture type 27. Most of the time 28. Mamie’s _____ 29. On sheltered side 30. Ingot

Simply unscramble the letters, then begin exploring our ads. When you find the correctly spelled word hidden in one of our ads — enter at AugustaRx.com

32. Monte’s follower 34. “Within” prefix 35. University department head 37. DOD site 38. Monogamy’s extreme opposite 40. Nightmare street 41. National standard 43. WJBF’s George 44. Two-masted sailboat 45. Seaweed; algae (uncommon) 46. Former VP candidate 47. Moves like most birds 49. Heroic poem 50. Emperor of Rome 54-68 51. IV 53. Hospital sec. for very sick babies 54. Of the ear 55. Unit of force 58. Trauma pt. destinations Solution p. 14

QUOTATIONPUZZLE H O I I

N E W W A E G L A N K E V N O H

O E K D

C W T I

H R I S S A E E S T T O S T H S

6 5 4 8 2 9 1 7 3

7 9 2 5 1 R3 T8 R46

— José Bergamin

by Daniel R. Pearson © 2022 All rights reserved

DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once.

Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line.

Solution on page 14.

Use the letters provided at bottom to create words to solve the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.

1 2 3 O 1 2 1

1 2

A 2 3

3 4

’

1

4 1

2

2 3

3

4 A 1

5 2

3

U 1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 I 1 2 1 2 1 2 3 4 5

1.WGOBARACDTYY 2.HURANEOOOOO 3.IPIAUUNE 4.LUTTN 5.TGD 6.A 7.T

SAMPLE:

1. ILB 2. SLO 3. VI 4. NE 5. D =

8 3 1 4 7 6 5 2 9

L 1

O 2

V 3

E 4

I 1

S 2

8.I

9.O

B 1

10.N

L 2

I 3

N 4

D 5

by Daniel R. Pearson © 2022 All rights reserved

WORDS NUMBER

1

THE MYSTERY WORD The Mystery Word for this issue: CEROAN

© 2022 Daniel Pearson All rights reserved.

EXAMINER CROSSWORD

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

5 4 9 6 8 1 7 3 2

2 1 7 9 3 4 6 5 8

3 8 6 7 5 2 4 9 1

FEBRUARY 18, 2022

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

THEBESTMEDICINE ha... ha...

W

elcoming the newest wretched soul to arrive in his domain, Satan is giving

a tour.

“And this,” he says as they enter a vast cavern of boiling, bubbling red, “is the lake of lava where you’ll be spending eternity.”

“Since we’re underground,” says the man, “that’s actually magma, not lava.”

The devil slowly turns to the man and says, “You understand that’s why you’re here, right?”

Moe: Hey, have you seen the dog bowl?

Joe: I didn’t even know he could.

Moe: So how was work today at your real estate office?

Joe: Absolutely terrible. Worst day ever.

Moe: What in the world happened?

Joe: A man walked in, pulled out a gun and yelled, “Nobody move!”

Moe: So how was your day?

Joe: Absolutely terrible. Worst day ever.

Moe: What in the world happened?

Joe: My wife told me my six-year-old son

wasn’t really mine.

Moe: Oh wow.

Joe: Yeah. Turns out I need to pay a little more attention when I do school pick-up.

The

13 +

Advice Doctor ©

Moe: So how was your day?

Joe: Absolutely terrible. Worst day ever.

Moe: What in the world happened?

Joe: At my doctor appointment today they told me I’m going deaf.

Moe: That must have been tough to hear.

A blonde walked into a coffee shop and held up a large thermos she had brought. “Do you think 6 coffees will fit in this?” she asked.

“Looks like it,” the barista said. “That’s a pretty big thermos.”

“Great,” she said, sliding it across the counter. “Can I get two black, two with cream and sugar, and two cappuccinos, please?”

Moe: How did the magician go bald right in middle of a performance?

Joe: She pulled her hare out.

There was once a seamstress whose dream since she was a little girl was to be a singer.

One day walking down the beach she found a bottle. She rubbed it, and sure enough, out came a genie who granted her 3 wishes for liberating him from the confines of the bottle. Her first wish: “I’ve always wanted to be a singer.”

Her wish was granted, and she was turned into a sewing machine.

Moe: What does Jeff Bezos do before bed?

Joe: Puts his pajamazon. +

Why subscribe to theMEDICALEXAMINER? What do you mean?

Staring at my phone all day has had no Effect on ME!

Because try as they might, no one can stare at their phone all day.

Dear Advice Doctor, Last weekend we were invited to a Super Bowl party. At some point someone was thrown into the pool at this house, and everyone except me rushed out to see what happened, and in the process they knocked over this huge punchbowl. The lady who lives there came back in a minute later and she thought I did it. No one admitted it and I was left holding the bag. Now she’s mad at me. What do you think I should do?

— Punch Drunk Dear Punch, I like what you’re doing. I wish more people would follow your example. I have been saying for years that people should pack a lunch at home to take to work. But one point of clarification: it doesn’t have to be in a bag. You could fill a thermos with soup on a cold day, or bring in a plate of leftovers covered in tin foil. Take the foil off and pop it in the office microwave. Tupperware-type resealable containers are another great option.

The key point is to cut down eating out at work. Maybe that’s a treat that could be reserved for once or twice a week, but bringing food from home is a great idea for a number of reasons.

First, tons of people already start their day at a fast food drive-thru for breakfast, and they may also pick up fast food on the way home in the evening. Going out for lunch too is piling on even more sodium, fat, and calories. It all adds up in the pocketbook too, but even a lottery winner shouldn’t be dining out three meals a day. Prepared and processed restaurant meals (and the healthiest ones made from scratch too) are usually larger portions. Statistically, something like 70% of us are obese, or at least overweight. That carries with it a whole assortment of potential health issues, like tipping over that first domino. Others will surely follow.

Some people say they don’t have time to fix a lunch in the morning, but somehow they find the time to sit in a drive-thru line for 10 minutes. By comparison, how much time does it take to make a PB&J and throw it into a sandwich bag? Toss in an apple or a banana, and a little snack bag of pretzels and you’re done. You have saved time, money, calories, and maybe in the long run if you keep it going, years of life.

So keep holding that bag. You’re doing good. + Do you have a question for The Advice Doctor about life, love, personal relationships, career, raising children, or any other important topic? Send it to News@AugustaRx.com. Replies will only be provided in the Examiner.

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THE MYSTERY SOLVED The Mystery Word in our last issue was: HOSPITAL

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THE WINNER: JESSE CHEADLE! If that’s your name, congratulations! Send us your mailing address using the email address in the box on page 3. The new Mystery Word is on page 12. Start looking!

THE PUZZLE SOLVED B A L D

Y M I R

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J I B M O D E A B L E S S E S S S C A B A S A L A D A B E R N I E P O N Y A H A R N D O W E R P L E R I S R O P S

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SEVEN SIMPLE RULES: 1. Unscramble and find the designated word hidden within one of the ads in this issue. 2. Visit the Reader Contests page at www.AugustaRx.com. 3. Tell us what you found and where you found it. 4. If you’re right and you’re the one we pick at random, you win. (Winners within the past six months are ineligible.) 5. Prizes awarded to winners may vary from issue to issue. Limited sizes are available for shirt prize. 6. A photo ID may be required to claim some prizes. 7. Other entrants may win a lesser prize at the sole discretion of the publisher. 8. Deadline to enter is shown on page 12.

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