MeetSoberCoachSarah: Dear Sober Coach

Sarah has spent the last 15 years coaching and mentoring people who've struggled with their addictions and mental health, and she knows that choosing to change your relationship with alcohol before you hit rock bottom is a powerful and positive choice to make

Sarah is passionate about spreading the message that our lives can be joyful and fun on the other side of our drinking careers, and there's no need to feel lonely, stressed or bored on this journey

Dear Sober Coach Sarah, https://www drinklesslivebetter com mybook to/drinklesslivebetter https://www instagram com/drinklesslivebetter https://www facebook com/sarahwilliamsonofficial

I hate to moan but I just cannot hold it in any longer None of my friends understand my choice not to drink, and they don’t support my decision. I feel upset and lonely at the moment, and I don’t know how to get past this feeling.

What do you think, Sarah?

From GH, UK

Dear GH,

Your decision not to drink is a personal one, and it’s reasonable that you ’ re feeling disheartened by your friends’ lack of understanding.

Firstly, it’s important to remember that not everyone will immediately understand or relate to your choice. So often, drinking is seen as the norm, and it can sometimes be hard for others to see beyond their own experiences. They may not fully appreciate the reasons behind your decision Sometimes, people react defensively or with confusion when they encounter something outside of their usual experiences, as it can challenge their own habits or beliefs

Your friends might also be feeling a bit bewildered because they’re unsure how to adapt to the change. Social gatherings often revolve around drinking, and your decision may unintentionally shift the dynamics It’s not uncommon for friends to worry about whether they’ll still be able to include you in their plans or if the absence of drinking will alter the enjoyment of your time together.

That said, communication is key. Sharing your reasons for choosing sobriety, if you feel comfortable doing so, might help them understand your perspective better. You don’t need to justify your decision extensively, but a gentle explanation can provide context and clarity For instance, you might say something like, “I’ve found that not drinking helps me feel healthier and more focused ” I truly believe that we don’t owe anyone any kind of explanation, but sometimes, it is easier if we provide a bit of our reasoning

It’s also worth noting that your friends’ reactions could stem from a place of concern or even insecurity. They may feel that your choice reflects on them or worry that their drinking might be judged. Reassure them that your decision isn’t a commentary on their choices, but rather a personal preference that’s meaningful to you

Moreover, friendships are often tested in times of change, and this situation might be an opportunity to strengthen your relationships through open dialogue and mutual respect. If your friends truly value your companionship, they’ll likely make an effort to understand and adapt, even if it takes a bit of time.

It’s also important to seek support from others who share your lifestyle choices Finding communities or groups where sobriety is embraced can offer a sense of belonging and understanding Sometimes, connecting with people who are in similar situations can provide the encouragement and camaraderie that’s hard to find elsewhere.

Ultimately, it’s crucial to stay true to yourself and your values Your decision to remain sober is valid and valuable, and while it may take time for your friends to fully grasp this, maintaining your own integrity is what matters most.

I hope this helps you!

With love,

Sober Coach Sarah