THE DAVIS ENTERPRISE
Legals@DavisEnterprise.net
Dear Annie: My husband has control issues. He is aware that he has them, and he really tries hard to keep them in check. We are finally at a place in our marriage where I can make decisions about our home, such as interior decorating and small remodeling jobs, and act on them, and it feels wonderful! I have a design and merchandising degree, and I am the one who manages the home while he works in an office most days, so it makes sense to both of us for me to be “in charge” of these things. I do small projects maybe two or three times a year. These are not expensive or overwhelming. For example, buying a new couch (not the one he enjoys sitting on; I’m leaving that one alone) and selling the old one for just a bit less than the new one cost. However, he gets super grumpy, testy and short-tempered when I’m planning and executing a change — ANY change! I am good at keeping to our budget, and he has always liked the changes I’ve made once they’re finished. What can I say to him to remind him (kindly) that we have both agreed to let me go with my design choices and that he should try to at least be nice during the process? — Tired of Mr. Control Dear Tired: The good news is that you are both aware of his control issues. Congratulations on working together and communicating what is important to each of you in the marriage. Next time he starts to get grumpy or shorttempered, call him out on it. Try calmly talking to him about his behavior and how his words are making you feel. There’s always the chance that he doesn’t realize that his
knee-jerk complaints about anything new are really wearing you down, and he might be willing to change. ——— Dear Annie: I am turning 38 this year. I’m a father of two with a third due in November — this time, a girl. I’ve always had an exciting life and liked to party hard with my friends and sometimes with my wife. I like to live on the edge, but recently, things are changing. My friends think they want to chill and not do the same things we have done in the past. My wife says I need to chill, too, and just take it easy. I feel different this time around. I feel upset when they don’t want to hang out and just have boys time. I can’t sleep sometimes, and I fight with my inner self from time to time. I do still go out and make new friends, but it’s not the same, and they’re not like my old ones. I don’t feel happy about this whole situation. What should I do? — Man-child Dear Man-child: It sounds like your friends are experiencing a shift in priorities. Having a family doesn’t mean giving up what makes you happy, but it is about compromise and putting others’ needs above your own.
FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2022 B5
Perhaps it’s time to reexamine your priorities, too. As a father of almost three, you should put being a good role model and taking care of yourself to better support your family at the top of the list. Commit to balancing boys time out with more boys time at home with your sons, and girls time with your wife and daughter when she arrives. Partying hard is not good for your health, anyway, and it doesn’t set a good example for your kids; they need their father around. Spend time and hang out with your old friends, of course, but give the toned-down activities they’re into these days a shot.