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Thoughts on physical and mental health Dear Annie: As I was reading the letter from “Burnt Out,” the woman whose husband was chronically ill at moments of pressure, I wanted to say that the advice you gave about how this could be a mind/body issue sounds spot on to me, based on my personal experience. The book you recommended, “The Mindbody Prescription” by Dr. John Sarno, has been very helpful in my own recovery from pain issues. I would also suggest “The Meaning of Truth” by Nicole Sachs. This book has allowed me to put Sarno’s findings to practical use. The information in these books has given me a new lease on life, with less pain every day. Kudos for suggesting and bringing awareness to the mind/body connection. — Grateful for Mind/Body Writings Dear Grateful: Thank you for telling us of your experience. Here are two more letters that offer different perspectives: Dear Annie: In reply to “Burnt Out,” it sounds like he is suffering from anxiety. I say this because I was diagnosed with anxiety 15 years ago after several years of trips to the emergency room with symptoms of everything from heart attacks and strokes to blocked bowels, bone pains, muscle pain, pneumonia and other ailments. A big factor in dealing with anxiety is that the medical community doesn’t have much of a grasp on the root causes or how to treat it. The medical community also seems to be fighting against itself. ER doctors tend to look at people with undiagnosed anxiety as drug seekers, while therapists want to prescribe drugs that turn most of us into depressed zombies. “Burnt Out” should wait until her husband has had a few puffs on the pipe and is in a relaxed state of mind. Then, she should make a few friendly comments, over several sessions, suggesting therapy. People with anxiety tend to be easily triggered by small suggestions. Her small suggestion should be a positive one. And she shouldn’t worry about or focus on the pot; it’s probably the biggest breakthrough the medical community has made in treating anxiety and pain management in decades. — Just Another Crazy Old Man Dear Crazy Old Man: You’re not crazy at all, and some of your suggestions are good ones, based on your personal experience. Thanks for sharing your perspective with my readers. Dear Annie: I am a 61-year-old mother of four who has been married for 40 years. I’m also a retired dental hygienist, and I consider myself basically stable-minded. But my health resembled “Burnt Out’s” husband, starting in my 20s. I had random periods of unexplainable physical illness that progressively got worse. Long story short — at 52, I was admitted to the hospital with “stroke-like” symptoms. I remained there for five days. Diagnosis: Lyme disease. After IV antibiotic treatment, I was still symptomatic. I remained too ill to ever go back to work. I found a doctor who practices outside the box. Her
diagnosis was three tick-borne diseases: Lyme, Bartonella and Babesia. I am a nonmethylator, which means that I do not eliminate toxins. I had biotoxin and heavy metal toxicity. I had adrenal fatigue and low thyroid. I have the gene mutation called the “dreaded gene.” I was granted disability. I am now in control of my chemistry, but I remain constantly alert as to what triggers my symptoms. I practice health maintenance every day. My advice to “Burnt Out” is to get her husband to a holistic doctor. My diagnoses have been spot-on with healing results. — It’s a Wonderful Life Dear Wonderful Life: Your story is one of hope and success after being confronted with unimaginable health challenges. I love the way you signed your letter. It truly is a wonderful life. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Missing my high school sweetheart — 50 years later Dear Annie: More than 65 years ago, my mother was a military wife, a German “war bride” and an orphan from the war. This means that I had no grandparents on my mother’s side of the family. So, we always went to my father’s parents’ house on Christmas Day, but this led to some frustrations, so my mother put her foot down. She told her master sergeant spouse (my father) that she was no longer going to Grandmother’s house (his mother) on Christmas Day. Her other son and his family lived there. Her kids were going to enjoy their toys in their own home on Christmas Day and visit later. She was tired of her kids seeing the cousins having fun all day with their toys and having to enjoy their Christmas toys later. It worked out fine. She knew about boundaries before it became a psychological theme! — Setting Boundaries Dear Setting Boundaries: Thank you for sharing the story of how your mother solved this problem for you and your siblings without offending your grandparents. She was ahead of her time in setting boundaries for grandparents. ——— Dear Annie: Nearly 50 years ago, while a high school student, I met an upperclassman who completely swept me off my feet. We clicked with each other almost immediately and loved being together as much as possible. He was leaving for college the following year, and his mother made no secret of the fact that she wanted him to
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leave without having a girlfriend back home. I was a year younger, so my future was not yet set. We wanted to stay together even though he would be two states away. We felt that we could make it work during breaks and summer vacations. However, by late summer, his mother had convinced him that breaking it off with me was the best course of action. To say the very least, I was heartbroken and mourned the loss for 10 years. Eventually, I met a nice man, settled down and had a family. I was happy but always felt the loss, and now, almost 50 years later and a widow, I still feel the same as I did back then. Of course, he is a married man now, and I would never pursue him. I feel that seeing a counselor about this would be considered trivial since there are so many in the world suffering right now. — Still Missing My First Love Dear Missing My First Love: You are looking back on your youth, when things were more simplistic and you had fewer responsibilities. The reality is that you feel what you feel, and your yearning is nothing to be trivialized. Perhaps you are missing your husband, and it is much easier to miss a person you knew for a short time and didn’t share a life with. It certainly can be a lot less painful. Talking to a counselor could be just what you need to help sort out what you really long for and what you want in your life today. Your feelings are NOT trivial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com.