The McGill Tribune Vol. 27 Issue 15

HOCKEY: SURPRISE! MARTLETS CLEAN UP AGAIN, PAGE 1 7

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T r t r u n k Published by the Students'Society of McGill University

Volume 27 Issue 15 • January 8,2008

www.mcgilltribune.com

T e e n d e a th lin k e d to h ija b d is p u te

A tta c k o f th e (P ig) C lones!

Muslim c o m m u n i t y discusses e v e n t J ames G ilman

This past December, Mississauga cab driver Muhammad Parvezwas charged with second-degree murder for the strangula­ tion of hisi6-yearold daughter. Aqsa Parvez died on Dec. 10 after police responded to a call from a man claiming to have killed his daughter.

Initial reports indicated that Muham­ mad Parvez, a 57-year-old immigrant from Pakistan, allegedly killed his daughter over arguments surrounding her refusal to wear a headscarf, or hijab. However, friends of Aqsa, along with various community lead­ ers have since stressed the complexity of the dispute in the Parvez household, em­ phasizing that it was more than simply the hijab argument that led to the killing.

The grade 11 student wanted to fit in at school by wearing western clothes, a desire which clashed with her family's con­ servative views, leading to conflicts with her father and 26-year-old brother Waqas, who has subsequently been charged with obstruction of investigation.

Friends have told the media how ten­ sion over Aqsa's western appearance and behaviour lead to abuse at home.

Muslim U3 psychology student Sana Yusuf, explained that wearing the hijab is generally a personal religious choice to

show modesty and that it is rare for chil­ dren to be forced into wearing the hijab.

"Not a single person that I know has parents who force them to wear the hijab," Yusuf said. "Not even in Pakistan; my friends and cousins [who live there] wear it by their choice."

"You're supposed to cover yourself up as a sign of modesty in front of other people,"Yusuf added."This is how beauty is perceived in Islam; you don't show off your beauty, you keep beauty on the inside.

[Wearing the hijab] is my choice."

Parvez's attempt to lead a double life is in no way ubiquitous among Muslim Canadian youths.

"Being a Muslim leader in the com­ munity, I know that in fact, many Muslim girls and boys do live double lives," said Syed B. Soharwardy, president of the Is­ lamic Supreme Council of Canada in Islam and Head Imam at the Al Madinah Calgary Isalmic Centre, adding that they often act and dress one way at home and another way outside.

Aqsa's death has raised questions about the integration of immigrants and a potential link to honour killings. Many com­ munity leaders and observers have stressed that that this was a singular incident and is not illustrative of any broader trend.

See IMAMon page 5

S p o t lig h t o f t h e w o r ld fo c u s e s o n K e n y a N a t i o n ' s s ta b ility s h a t t e r e d b y e l e c t i o n ir r e g u l a r i ti e s A rvind E yunni Violence surrounding the recent election controversy between Mwai Kibaki of the Party of National Unity and Raila Odinga has vaulted Kenya into the limelight of the global eye.

A small but visible part of McGill, Kenyan students are worried about the unrest. "Most Kenyans are worried about their families back home, espe­ cially those in the affected areas," said Kenyan Ui management student Kevin

Nzoma. He also expressed his fears concerning the economic impact of the elections as many businesses and banks remain closed in the wake of the violence. "Continual unrest will un­ doubtedly have an adverse impact on the economy, while a damaging effect on the exchange rate will make Cana­ dian education for Kenyan students less affordable than it already is."

Historically, power struggles have been common in Africa where leaders' attempts to grab power have led to

serious issues of corrupting the demo­ cratic process.

"The problem with democracy in Africa is that it is often stifled by leaders who ferment local ethnic rivalries and construct them from scratch in order to hold on to power," said McGill politi­ cal science professor Khalid Medani. He added, "there is little evidence that the more diversity you have, the less likely democracy is. Democratization is most often conducted through a political bargain between elites."

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Kenya has previously been lauded as one of Africa’s more politically stable countries, with free primary educa­ tion and a recent economic recovery.

The United Nations estimates that the recent upheaval has displaced over 180,000 people.

The European Union claimed that the elections failed to reach interna­ tional standards due to irregularities in the counting process and the sudden appearance of thousands of votes for Kibaki. A constituency reportedly had

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a voter turnout of over 115 per cent of the registered voters list. Odinga sub­ sequently refused to accept the result, deeming it unacceptable.

The results led to widespread civil unrest, especially in areas with strong support for Odinga. Many accused the Kikuyu tribe, of which Kibaki is a mem­ ber, for the irregularities. Election pro­ testers vandalized, looted and burned buildings. Live coverage of any news

See Kenyans on page 5

VOLLEYBALL SundayJan 1 3 M artlet! 1 3 bOO Redmctt* 1 5 hOO Montreal M c G M I S p e lts G ra ta e

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COVER PHOTOBY STEVE CAMPBELL

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G e o g r a p h y f e llo w b e c o m e s Y o u n g In n o v a t o r P o s td o c p raised for rese arc h c o n d u c t e d u p N orth V in c c i T sui Climate change has been the latest hot topic in environmental discussions and many, including McGill geography postdoctoral fel­ low James Ford, are accepting the inevitable changes to come and working to plan for the future. Ford has been researching the effects of climate change on humans in Arctic communities and their ability to adapt to the inevitable change. For his work, Ford has been award­ ed one of three 2007 Young Innovator Awards from the Network of Centres for Excellence in a ceremony in Gatineau on Dec. 4.

The NCE is a federal program that links universities, industry, government and non-profit organizations to further scientific de­ velopment in a variety of disciplines. NCE communications manager Natasha Gauthier said that although the quality of research is one of the selection criteria for the awards, more importantly, they recog­ nize practical applications of the winners'scientific expertise.

"We're looking for people who are doing innovative research and are also applying it to the real world," she said. "It's always a dif­ ficult choice [between the nominees], and we're always proud to see how the knowledge that these people have acquired from their net­ works have influenced their work."

"Ford certainly stood out for a couple of reasons,"said Young In­ novator Award selection committee chair and Genizon Biosciences Vice-President business development Bill Cheliak. "He's really bring­ ing the components [of environment, people and economics] to­ gether, and bringing it to the attention of a much larger audience.

That's really one of the key things behind his work. He's done spec­ tacular work in terms of making it known not only at the local level, but creating national awareness as well."

Aside from his academic work at McGill, Ford has helped differ­ ent municipalities and businesses evaluate and improve their adapt­

ability to climate change through the NCE network ArcticNet and his private consulting firm, ArcticNorth. His research on various Inuit communities has shown that there are many factors contributing to their adaptability to climate change.

"You've got all these stresses coming together—social, cultural, economic, political—which in many ways largely constrain the abil­ ity of people to deal with change,” he said. "One of the big drivers in the last few years does not have to do with climate; it has to do with people; and it's the erosion of land-based skills and knowledge along generations.The climate is changing, making it a lot more dangerous to go hunting and travelling. At the same time, the younger genera­ tion [of Inuit] don't have the knowledge to deal with those risks."

Despite the fact that his work is done predominantly in small, natural resource-based communities, Ford said his findings have im­ plications for other communities in Canada and the world.

"My message is: look what you're doing now and do it better.

I think planning specifically for climate change is a misallocation of resources because firstly, we don't know how the climate is going to change in the future," he said. "My advice for people is always... look at how climate affects you today, in what way are your opera­ tions sensitive to climatic conditions today. Be it flooding, forest fires, heavy snowfall, identify those conditions, look at how they affect you; look at how you currently manage them. If you improve your abil­ ity to deal with these today, you will be more prepared to deal with things in the future."

Gauthier said that she was impressed with Ford's work, as well as those of the other nominees.

"It's always heartwarming to see the results of the collaborations [within NCE networks],"she said."These are the real movers and shak­ ers in the science world, and it'll be nice to see how they progress in the future."*

COURTESY OF JAMES FORD

Ford tests out the ice in the far North.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW— BJORN LOMBORG

L o m b o rg 'c h ills o u t d e b a te o n g lo b a l w a r m in g 7

E n v ir o n m e n ta lis t calls for policy c h a n g e s in a n s w e r t o rising t e m p e r a t u r e s Do you think it's hard to communicate a more nuanced Bjorn Lomborg is a prominent statistician and social scientist, and author of two books on climate change, Cool It and The Skepti­ or complex view of the impact of global warming in an era of cal Environmentalist. Lomborg is also the former director of the En­ television sound bytes and Internet blogs? vironmental Assessment Institute in Copenhagen.

Yes, it is hard in the sense that we have this very strong polarization, as you just described. It's actually hard to stake out the middle ground and that's what I'm trying to say. Yes climate change is real, and yes we need to deal with climate change, but no, it's not a catastrophe and no we shouldn't deal with it by mak­ ing stupid political decisions. We should do it by making smart ones that will work in the long run. That's a harder message than saying "Oh don't worry, its all a hoax,"or"My god, we're all going to die in the next ten years."l thinkit is importantthat if we're actually going to solve climate change, we should look further into the matter and actually get the policy decisions right.

In a recent Washington Post article, you emphasized that ultimately, the bitter debate over global warming needs to end and that people need to approach the problem rationally and "chill out". What do you think leads to this kind of polarized de­ bate over climate change?

I think to a large extent, the reason why.we have this polar­ ized debate is because there are so many interests beyond cli­ mate change— both downplaying it and by proponents who say they want everything [to] change. The point I try to make in my book [Cool It] is that we need to find a smart way. Yes, we need change, but we're only going to get change if we find a smart and cheap way to make that change happen.

Will you talk for a moment about the Copenhagen Con­ sensus, a group you formed in 2004? What was the purpose of getting economists involved in a field traditionally dominated by scientists?

When we have a lot of different problems in the world, the question is not just a scientific one of whether global warming is happening or not. It is definitely happening. It's also a question of social science: namely, what should we do? If we can't solve all problems, where should we start first? There is way too much of a focus on saying, "Climate change is a problem and we clearly should do something about it."That's true of all problems in the ADAMSCOTTI world. Clearly HIV/AIDS is a problem; malaria is a problem; mal­ Lomberg calls for more rational, clear-headed debates nutrition is a problem; and the lack of agricultural trade from the over fear mongering. third world to the first world is a big problem. My point is simply to say that we have to ask the question of where we can do the most good. That's what economists look at—where do you get

the most bang for your buck? So that's what I brought all these economist together [with the Copenhagen Consensus] to make a prioritized list of all the things we could do in the world and to see where we could get the most good for the money that we're going to spend.

Do you think any small-scale, personal choices can have enough of an impact to make a serious difference on climate change, or do you think that the realm of government action is the best way to address any serious problems?

I have a clear view, but it's not a very popular one. This really is a question of systemic impact—how do we make our society, how far you have to commute to work, and the type of power sta­ tions that generate the electricity for our homes. These big gov­ ernment decisions really make the difference. It's fine that people change their light bulbs, but quite frankly, the reason we got so rich in the past couple hundred years is becaüse we specialized.

I don't know how my laptop computer works, or how the sewer system in Montreal works, but I know that someone deals with it. This is a bit like how climate science should happen. Everyone does not need an intimate knowledge of how much carbon diox­ ide goes into every product.

What do you think of high-profile efforts by people like Al Gore to get people involved and aware of climate change?

Do you think that public awareness only leads to hysteria and polarization, or do you think that such awareness and public knowledge is beneficial to the current debate?

I'm very ambivalent about Al Gore. On the one hand, I con­ gratulate him for bringing the issue to the forefront of people's attention, and certainly bringing a lot of right-wing Americans away from the conspiracy mindset. On the other hand, in doing so, he has scared most people on the planet, way beyond what’s reasonable. This scare mongering has a bad impact on how we deal with problems, because we panic and make bad decisions, and also because we have to realize that climate change is not the only problem in the world. Further, climate change is not the only problem in the world—a billion people are extremely poor, two billion people don't have access to clean drinking water or elec­ tricity, and three billion are malnourished.There are other very im­ portant issues and if we over-worry about one problem, we end up neglecting all these others. ■ —Compiled by Byron Tau and Carolyn Parkinson

08.01.08 • The McGill Tribune • 3

@MAC

SPEAKERS

P ig s ' s q u e a ls e c h o a t M a c

Sheikh calls for societal change Islamic scholar a d d re s s e s full h o u s e at UQAM N asser A l -S hawwa and

O mar B alaa

The Marie Gèrin-Lajoie Room at the Université de Quebec à Montreal was full to capacity this past Friday as the crowd eagerly anticipated the ar­ rival of Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, a revered North American Islamic Scholar. Yusuf was to give his opinion on the debate surrounding reasonable accommo­ dation in Quebec, arguing the need for Quebec to implement societal changes to suit the religious beliefs of immigrants. Yusuf argued that the integration of minority groups such as Muslims, Sikhs and Jews into Canadian culture should not be seen as a threat to the preservation of national identity. He also talked about recent immigration policies and their effect on minority groups, particularly Muslims.

The night started with a recital of a few verses from the Quran, followed by a poetry recital by Canadian poet Sophia Baig, whose poem,"Daughter of the Sand," received cheers from the audience as she spoke about the misconceptions and false impres­ sions that people have when observ­ ing a veiled Muslim woman.

Yusuf reminded the audi­ ence that Canada is a country of immigrants and said, "Soci­ ety is going to be affected by immigration, undeniably."

He also asked them to consider that, apart from the native aboriginal Canadians, their ancestors were also once immigrants to this country, who came to Canada "seeking a bet­

ter life," and expected them to show understanding of those incoming immigrants.

"Citizenship in Canada is actu­ ally quite recent, and I think people tend to forget that," he said.

He went on to state that West­ erners are living in a bubble and that the problems present in Cana­ da seem insignificant compared to problems in other countries.

Yusuf also expressed under­ standing of Canadian citizens who have a sense of belonging and commitmentto this country, using hisown Canadian heritage as an example. He mentioned that a considerable num­ ber of immigrants live abroad while having the Canadian passport as an asset in their drawers. It is one that they only use when there is civil un­ rest in their home country. He empa­ thized with Canadians that view these citizens disdainfully.

Yusuf also stated that Islam is a very recent presence in the West and that there is a lot of fear concerning Islam.

Finally, he humorously told the crowd that he saw into the future and that it was "brown," stating that he was impressed with the diversity of Canadians.

"It is a stunning testimony to the future of Canada,"Yusuf said.

Yusuf's speech was well received by the crowd and Ui McGill student Khaled El-Badawi agreed with Yusuf's statements, "especially when he asked both affected parties to show understanding of the other as well as some compromise." ■

C u t t i n g - e d g e McGill r e s e a r c h p r o d u c e s clones a n d biom edical a d v a n c e s injecting these hybrid cells into a host female's repro­ ductive system.

From the numerous research organisms available, pigs were chosen as the animals to be cloned for their applicability to biomedical research and their similarity to human beings physiologically and anatomically. "[Cloning is] a very good model for understand­ ing the physiology or the pathology of human be­ ings," Bordignon said. “If we can generate specific pigs, or a specific phenotype, or a phenotype with specific

T homas Q uail

After four years of research, a team of scientists lead by Dr. Vilceu Bordignon of the Large Animal Re­ search Unit at Macdonald Campus successfully pro­ duced Canada's first cloned pigs. Seventeen pigs were born in three litters on Oct. 22, Nov. 6 and Nov. 12. Ten now remain after seven pigs were euthanised after birth to examine for birth abnormalities. Funded by the Canadian Foundation Innovation, Natural Sci­ ences and Engineering Research Council of Canada, and le Fonds Québécois de la rechèrche sur la nature et les technologies, the research has drawn national attention.

At Macdonald campus, there was a buzz surrounding the event.

"Everybody was very excited in the department. While the pigs were giving birth, we kept each other up to date on what was going on," said Audrey Wachter, an animal science Masters student.

The researchers would like to see this initial research success dove-tail with disease modeling. Cures for diabetes and cardiovascular problems will reap the ben­ efits of this work.

"Amongst other things, the long term STEVE CAMPBELL goal of the project is the production of . . . transgenic animal models for biomedical Bourdignon reaches out to his creations. research,” said Marcelo Albornoz, a member of Bordi- characteristics that you can use to understand a dis­ ease, then we can advance research; not just to under­ gnon's team and an animal science Master's student.

While the method used to clone mammals has not stand how a specific physiological problem happens, changed significantly in the past decade since Dolly, but how to fix the problem."

Bordignon plans to keep the pigs in order to mon­ there were substantial modifications in the approach made by Bordignon's team. Cloning a pig starts by itor growth rates and abnormalities, and also to see if collecting cells from the specific animal that you wish they are fertile.

There is a litter of cloned female piglets scheduled to replicate. Those cells are grown in a Petri dish, and then frozen and kept alive in vitro by special incuba­ to be born within the next month.

"There are more [cloned pigs] coming; we have tors and heat systems. The second step produces the host female oocytes that will receive the nuclei. These pregnant sows with more pregnant animals and soon eggs then have their nuclei replaced by those of the we are going to produce our disease models starting collected cells in the first step. The final step involves in 2008." Bordignon said. ■

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JEWISHCONTENT.COM

Yusuf discusses reasonable accomodations for Muslims in Quebec.

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Sp in & Trim Step Tai Chi Yoga Fo r A thletes IS P O R T S Fe n cin g 1 Fe n cin g II H o ckey 1 H o ckey II Skating

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ac5iMci m mtr u iH n ic m L K uiiiLc ui me jpoiis terare Monday tnrougn i-naay ub: ju/unuu nrs. • Kegistra tionopened. • Non-members registered in courses may use the facility only during their designated class times • Most classes begin the week of January 14, 2008. • Instructional classes are suspended from February 24-30 due t0 the McGill btudy Break. • Pay-As-You-Go classes begin January 14 and run until April 27, 2008. • Classes will not be held March 21, 23 and 24, 2008. • Full-time McGill students may register at the member’s rate. trices ao not include Gbl tt Pbl.

Saturday Sunday Frid., Janu ary 25 Sat., Janu ary 26 Sun., Janu ary 27 Su n., Janu ary 20 Sun., Janu ary 27 Sun., February 10 Sun., February 17 Sun., March 16 Sat., February 2

A qua F itn e s s Monday & Wed. Badm inton Monday & Wed. B e lly D ancing Monday & Friday B o d y D esign - A d v Tuesday & Thursday B o a y u e s ig n - intro Tuesday & Thursday D an ce A e ro b ic s Tuesday & Thursday Hatha Yoga 1 Tuesday & Thursday Hatha Yoga II Tuesday & Thursdav P ilâ te s - Intro Monday & Wed. P ilâ te s - A d van ced Tuesd ay & Thursday Pow er Yoqa Lite Monday & Wed. R ecess Monday & Wed. Sp in Tuesday & Thursdav S tre tch & Strength Monday & Wed. Tai Chi Monday & Wed. T e n n is Tuesd ay & Thursday I F IT N E S S & W E L L N E S S (PAY-A S-YO U -G O ) STEP Monday T A E BO X Tuesday B O O T C AM P W ednesday B O D Y D E SIG N Thursday P O W E R YO G A Friday SPIN Friday A E R O B IC S Sunday O N E ON O N E F itn e s s A p p ra isa l (Private) by appointment P e rso n a l Train in g (Private) by appointment Personal Training (Semi-Private) by appointment Skating (Private) by appointment Sk atin g (Sem i-Private) by appointment S q u a s h (Private) by appointment S q u a s h (Sem i-Private) by appointment Sw im (Private) by appointment S w im (Sem i-Private) by appointment T e n n is (Private) by appointment T e n n is (Sem i-Private) by appointment

COST

WKS

23.69/36.86

6

30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87

6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6

80.73/124.60

10

71.95/115.82 64.93/108.81 64.93/108.81 64.93/108.81

10 10 10 10

49.13/93.10 49.13/93.10 49.13/93.10 64.93/108.81 64.93/108.81

10 10 10 10 10

13:30-15:25 13:30-15:25 13:00-16:00 10:00-13:00 13:00-16:00 All Day

140.39/149.17 140.39/149.17 19.31/23.69 19.31/23.69 19.31/23.69 43.88/48.26

6 6 1 1 1 1

All Day

70.20/78.97 —

12:15-13:00 12:30-13:15 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:45 i d.. i o- 1 onuu \o.UU 1o .4 J 12:00-12:45 12:15-13:00 12:15-13:00 12:00-12:45 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:45 13:00-13:45 13:00-13:45 13:00-13:45 18:00-18:55 17:00-17:55 18:00-18:55 17h00-17h55 17h30-18h25 18:00-18:55 12:00-12:55

o r w w w .a t h le t ic s .m c g ill.c a

$13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16

13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13

2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 43.88/48.27 43.88/48.27 29.83/34.22 15.80/20.18 11.41/15.80 21.06/25.45 14.04/18.43 15.80/20.18 11.41/15.80 21.94/26.32 14.92/19.31

1.5 hrs 1.25 hrs 1.25 hrs

1/2 hr 1/2 hr 45 min 45 min 1/2 hr

1/2 hr 1 hr 1 hr

y McGill A T H L E T I C :

! __________

08.01.08 • News • 5

www.mcgilltribune.com

K e n y a n s re a c t O d i n g a a p p e a l s for aid Continued from COVER was banned by the government on grounds of national security.

"Everything we've achieved in the past has come crashing down," said Amos Odera, a Kenyan Ui microbiology and immunology student. "Kenyans are being forced to be ruled by people they never elected and they have now lost faith in democracy." He regrets that Kenya may never be back to where it was before the elections.

Odera stated that the Rwandan comparisons by the Western media are un­ founded. He stressed that there is a vast difference between the two countries, the latter consisting primarily of only two ethnic groups which represented about 99 per cent of the population while Kenya consists of over 40 tribes. Medani shared a similar perspective.

"There is no reason to think that this will be a genocide, because it is not based on such inter-ethnic hatred," he said. "Yes, Kenya can get out of this mess, but it requires pressure from the international community to insist on either a recount or a new election.This is a must, otherwise this incumbent leader will have no legiti­ macy and opposition will increase."»

IMAGES

Im a m p r o te s t s a lle g e d m u r d e r w i t h h u n g e r s tr ik e Islamic g r o u p s c o n d e m n d o m e s t i c c r i m e Continued from COVER Muslim community leaders across Canada were quick to condemn the killing.

"Honour killing is un-lslamic and a crime," Soharwardy said. "In Islam, the only institution that has the authority to punish a person for his or her crime is a court of law. Honour killing is a cultural or tribal prac­ tice."

Soharwardy went on a hunger strike to protest the killing of Aqsa Parvez, hoping to "create awareness about the dangers of using violence in dispute resolu­ tion."

"Relating honour killings with Islam is a baseless and unjustified claim because, simply, Islam abolished this condemned cultural practice at [the] legal level a long time ago," said Bilal Ruzzeh, a mechanical engi­

neering PhD student at McGill and the president of the Muslim Student Association.

"The main role the community leadership should play in preventing similar incidents in the future is to proactively approach its people with efficient educa­ tional programs about the ethics, spirit and jurispru­ dence of Islam and practical ways to integrate, without losing identity, in the larger Canadian community," Ru­ zzeh said.

"We believe that Muslims with such cultural heri­ tage lack the profound understanding of Islam in terms of the sanctity of life of human beings, whether a Mus­ lim or non-Muslim, and thus need to be educated be­ fore such a tragic incident happens again." ■ —Additional reporting by Thomas Quail and Ken Sun

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T imothy M ak T imothy . mak @ m a ilm c g ill . ca anada is not a conservative country.This is nowhere more clearly is this reflected than in the state of its conservative media. The Western Standard, long considered the voice of western conservatism, cancelled its print opera­ tions in October as famed columnist and publish­ er Ezra Levant jumped ship. Similarly, the National Post struggled financially in 2007 and was forced to drop all print subscribers in Atlantic Canada and later limited the distribution of their print edi­ tion to newsstands in Halifax.

Ironically, conservative media in Canada has been abandoned and rebuked by the very freemarketprinciplesthattheypurporttopromote.The market has spoken and conservative media out­ lets simply cannot compete. Interestingly, the fact that the Conservative Party is governing a liberal country leads to the appearance of a divide in the conservative movement.

The largest problem for the Canadian con­ servative movement is how to make a liberal country into a more conservative one. And herein lies the paradox of Canadian conservatism. This country is not conservative and as a result the Conservative Party cannot afford to be conserva­ tive lest they lose the reins of power. Unlike the Liberals under Trudeau, the Conservative Party does not spend billions funding advocacy groups and organizations that will perpetuate its rule.

That would be contrary to small-government conservative principles.

There are two schools of thought that re­ volve around solving this problem—the 'revo­ lutionary' school and the 'incrementalist' school.

Each school of thought even has its own wellknown advocates. Former National Citizens Co­ alition President Gerry Nicholls is a prominent revolutionary conservative, while Tom Flanagan can be described as a notable incrementalist con­ servative. With so many of its members in power, this divide in the conservative movement has become the most noticeable. No longer is the

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JFKOSTUCK@ GMAI L.COM

most visible squabble between Red Tories and Blue Tories or social conservatives and libertar­ ians, but rather between those who are willing to wait for Canada to become more conserva­ tive and those who demand that efforts be im­ mediately made by the party to change the political climate.

But which is the right approach? Revolu­ tionaries will point to Thatcher, Reagan and Mike Harris as revolutionary conservative icons that dramatically altered the landscape of their re­ spective nations. But such superficial examples ignore the context of these 'conservative revolu­ tions'—the enabling factor for all of these revo­ lutionary changes was the presence of crippling socialist policies that left citizens yearning for a conservative government to fix things up. Indeed, Mike Harris'Common Sense Revolution in Ontario was precipitated by the waste that the NDP's Bob Rae laid on the province. This is a massive strike against the revolutionary school of thought, as it is highly unlikely that the federal NDP will ever find itself occupying Langevin Block, the building that houses the Prime Minister's Office.

Revolutionary conservatism ignores the sta­ tus quo and gives no regard to the current political leanings of the country. Instead, incremental con­ servatism, while not wholeheartedly embracing all the ideas of conservatism, will edge the coun­ try over to the right. Rather than alienating huge swaths of the population with massive program spending cuts and across the board privatization, the Conservative government is slowly nudging the country rightward with popular policies like GST tax cuts. The key to a majority government and revolutionary conservative policies is time, which is why it would be foolish to believe some­ one who says Stephen Harper wants an election.

What the conservative movement needs right now is time to push the country in the direction, a necessary step to give the country a sense of balance before we give it a shove.»

his winter break, thanks to the writer's strike (which I unfortunately support and therefore can’t bitch about at length, resulting in my having to think much, much harder to come up with a topic for this column), I found myself trapped in suburbia, bored out of my skull. With noTV to catch up on, I was forced to turn to re-runs and DVD boxed sets. I reunited with my Friends, hung out at Melrose Place and had a little Party of Five. I was perfectly content with my sit­ com gluttony until someone, who shall remain nameless (because I now plan to murder them), suggested that perhaps watching all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls in one sitting was not entirely healthy. I think they just couldn't handle the high­ speed, obscure pop-culture references I was acquiring. Maybe you'll catch them next time, Dottie.

Dragging myself off the couch I had grown to know, love and create a com­ mendable ass-groove in, I knew that when I started alluding to bad Geena Davis flicks, it was time for some real so­ cializing. In lieu of that, I went to hang out with some friends from high school.

Seeing people you went to high school with is always interesting, but above all it is always, always a competi­ tion. Having achieved nothing in 2007 but an intimate relationship with myTiVo, I stretched the truth about my activities just a little. My summer job at a children's improv camp turned into an internship at a prestigious theatre company and my shoebox studio apartment turned into a spacious one-bedroom.

I suppose it was slightly unneces­ sary to exaggerate my accomplishments, since my high school is regarded as a major feeder school for Brock, Seneca and

T

McDonald's, but I did anyway, because why feel good when you can feel great?

I enjoyed discussing my course load with my old best friend as she balanced her newborn on her hip and it was more than a delight running into an ex-flame at the Wendy's drive-thru. It would have been a little more slick if I hadn't ordered a Baconator, but I'd like to think I still came out of that encounter on top.

Bastard children and Baconators aside, meeting up with my old high school friends allowed me to appreciate even what precious little I had gained since breaking free of the australophithecal population of my hometown.The only snag I met was when I found myself at the same party as a high school alum who also went to McGill. I had to watch what I said for fear of being called out on my shit and lo and behold, called out I was. It wasn't even because I was regaling some intricate tale of bullshit and chicanery; I was simply describing how I wrote one of my sister's English papers for her—a tale that appeared in my last Tribune column.

I described my expert use of rhetorical de­ vices and my brain-melting employment of literary references. It was the best paper I'd ever written in my life, said I. More than willing to leave my story of scamming the academic system at that, cheeky alum piped in—"Didn't you get a B+? In tenth grade English? And aren't you an English major? Oh, wait, you're theatre'.'

Flashbacks of high school embarrass­ ment overcame me as this pure ownage made me recall ripping my dress on prom night, face-planting in the cafeteria and accidentally breaking a girl's nose during a cheerleading routine. I needed an ego boost, and fast. It was only eleven o'clock.

Anyone else down for some Wendy's?»

THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE

Squall's well that ends well B en L emieux BENLEMIEUX@GMAIL.COM

mong Canadians, the season's first snowfall is treated like a momentous happening. It isn't just filler; it's the lead story.The news camera pans across limitless, boun­ tiful fields brimming with fresh, unblemished white, powdery snowflakes as if it were some half-forgotten Nordic mirage, unexpected and somehow inexplicable in its beauty and pu­ rity. “While ideal for sleigh riding and the nation's skiers, this year's first snowfall did cause some gridlock in and around the downtown core this morning," narrates the intrepid young re­ porter whose network likely ran out of fires and hit-and-runs to point the cameras at. Cut to some clueless knob-jockey round­ ing hour two of the car excavation.

"Well, well, yeah... yeah, I guess it did take me, you know, a bit longer to get to work this morning, well, like, because of having to dig out the driveway and my car, heh, I’m still working on it. My wife called me from the road like and said that, you know, the traffic ain't that bad. I think, heh, I think I'll just roll slowly on the highway and count the girls I pass by in my car that I'd desperately like to fuck. Heh, maybe I'll honk at them, like, because I have all this extra time I have... because of the traffic, like."

Two months later we're treated to two full segments (com­ mercial to commercial) of national, primetime evening news­ cast dedicated to the ten-year anniversary of the Montreal Ice

A

Storm. The struggle our city went through, the lessons we've learned, the road to improvement for future cataclysms.

A person lacking of perspicacity might dismiss these news reports as trivial fluff. I disagree. All this ado about snow­ fall could not be more relevant or pertinent.

Ten years ago our city was all but submerged in total chaos. Trapped on the island without electricity or hope, we were huddled in gymnasiums and relegated to living condi­ tions bordering on what you'd expect from a Laotian sweat­ shop. We were one step away from being the Katrina victims of the North, two steps from being Nick Stahf at the end of Terminators: The Rise of the Machines (which, though it wasn't directed by James Cameron, was still a fucking good movie).

And like in T3, Judgment Day is inevitable. The question remains: are we ready for it?

The answer, clearly, is no. If we are still watching foot­ age of some hapless knob jockey begrudgingly exhuming his Camry as if he had no clue that water solidifies midair in weather below the freezing point, we are, quite frankly, in big­ ger trouble than you may think.

We need to kickstart ourselves into survival mode the American way. In the months following 9/11, the U.S. saw re­ newed interest in bomb shelters and gas masks. If nothing else, let it not be said that our neighbors to the South cannot

take a cue.

This very moment, we need to start stocking up on gen­ erators, flashlights, down parkas and combustible energy sources in preparation for the day when nature strikes again.

We could even turn it into a television event, like, Survivor: Montreal. The second that the Montreal skies open up and start pouring frozen rain upon us, ABC gets Jeff Probst on the horn and flies him to Ville Marie. Montrealers would compete over whose house could shelter the largest number of ill-pre­ pared, Hydro-less sycophants, and those who proved to be the least useful or resourceful would be voted off the island. And they could just fuck off to Africa or Borneo or some other place with a freak climate.

We need to redouble our efforts before the storm strikes again.The weather is like any other blunt force: it müst be met with determined, proactive opposition. Adopting a passive stance and putting on an air of bemused surprise as you dig out your Camry just won't cut it anymore. After what we've been through, what defines us as Montrealers, now more than ever, is being adequately prepared for unrelenting ice and snow.

So put down your hot chocolate, haul yourself down to Canadian Tire and buy some generators and flares. You're ei­ ther with us or you're with the terrorists.»

08.01.08 • The McGill Tribune • 7

T

r ib u n e

EDITORIAL

All q u iet on th e W estern front

www.mcgilltribune.com

Editor-in-Chief Tiffany Choy editor@mcgilltribune.com

Managing Editors Elizabeth Perle Kate Spirgen seniored@mcgilltribune.com

Production Manager Andrew Dathan Frankel production@mcgilltribune.com

News Editors Thomas Quail Ken Sun news@mcgilltribune.com

Opinion Editor Byron Tau opinion@mcgilltribune.com

Features Editors Meghna Marjadi Carolyn Yates features@mcgilltribune.com

Arts & Entertainment Editors Ezra Glinter John Semley arts@mcgilltribune.com

Sports Editors Matt Chesser Aaron Sigal

I n the past few weeks, the world has watched in horror as Kenya, East Africa's most politically stable nation, erupted in political violence.Two weeks ago, the country faced an election be­ tween incumbent President Mwai Kibaki, a mem­ ber of Kenya's largest Kikuyu tribe,.and opposition leader Raila Odinga of the Luo tribe, who was also backed by the Luhya tribe, Kenya's second largest ethnic group.

This recent election was the closest presiden­ tial vote in Kenyan history, where Kibaki received 51.3 per cent of the vote to Odinaga's 48.7. Kibaki's first election win in 2002 was hailed as a victory for democracy and a solid step toward a permenantly stable Kenyan political system. Since this time, however, his administration has been dogged by allegations of corruption and graft. Further, both citizens and international observers have ques­ tioned the legitimacy of his recent narrow elector­ al victory, especially given the number of electoral irregularities that surfaced across the country.

Following the results, tribal-based violence broke out and the death toll in the region has cur­ rently climbed past 300.The Kenyan Red Cross So­ ciety estimates that 100,000 people in the north­ ern Rift Valley alone currently require immediate humanitarian assistance, in the form of food, shel­ ter, water, fuel, medicine and military protection.

In the first few days of conflict, the interna­ tional media and observers on the ground made it abundantly clear that that the violence could es­ calate to tragic proportions without some sort of

intervention. The lack of involvement by the west­ ern countries and the United Nations was reduced by international media to an issue of politics, but the situation was propelled in large part by under­ lying ethnic and tribal tensions.

While Western intervention in African politi­

that of Rwanda or Darfur. Had Western powers been more willing to intervene in the early stag­ es of the crisis in Kenya, a humanitarian disaster could have been averted. Even gestures of hu­ manitarian aid to those fleeing their homes after the political upheaval have been non-existent and

"Yet tim e and tim e again, western countries have failed to learn th e lessons of Rwanda. In Darfur, and most recently, in Kenya, we are once again slow to act." cal, cultural and tribal conflicts is often problem­ atic by its very nature, especially when the gov­ ernment in power does not give its consent as in this case, no involvement at all can, and has, led to large scale massacres. The situation in Darfur had similar elements in its initital stages and now the killing and suffering will have repercussions on the country's population for generations. The UN has been involved, but not much has been ac­ complished. Moreover, it now seems that had the UN and the West stepped in during the beginning stages of the conflict, it could have been solved quicker, and with less bloodshed.

Fortunately, it looks as if over the past few days the Kenyan government has gained some measure of control over the situation, and talks have begun with U.S. diplomat Jendayi Frazer.

However, it remains alarming how easily the situ­ ation could have collapsed into a state similar to

food is only now moving to the displaced for the first time since the election.

In 1998, U.S. President Clinton toured Rwan­ da, and said, "The international community must bear its share of responsibility for this tragedy." He continued, saying, "All over the world there were people like me sitting in offices who did not fully appreciate the depth and the speed with which you were being engulfed by this unimaginable terror." High profile efforts by individuals like Cana­ dian General Romeo Dallaire and Paul Rusesabagina (subject of Hotel Rwanda) have exposed the true nature of the genocide in Rwanada.

Yet time and time again, western countries have failed to learn the lessons of Rwanda. In Dar­ fur, and most recently, in Kenya, we are once again slow to act. How many more massacres in Africa will occur before the West and the UN re-evaluate their intervention strategies? ■

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Contributors Nasser Al-Shawwa, Omar Balaa, Steve Campbell, Arvind Eyunni, James Gilman, Fluge Galdones, Jamie Goodman, J.F. Kostuck, Ben Lemieux, Timothy Mak, Carolyn Parkinson, Clare Pidsleÿ, Adam Scotti,VincciTsui

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ollowing the escalating violence and disorder in Kenya, there has been a media storm of in­ evitable comparisons to the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. In the aftermath of that crisis, then-President Clinton vowed, "we must have global vigi­ lance. And never again must we be shy in the face of the evidence." In this context, growing western anxiety over the situation in Kenya makes perfect sense.To the west, Kenya has been a model African country—a democracy with western-style political institutions and scores of exotic vacation destina­ tions. As a genuine humanitarian crisis grips the country, calls for intervention in North America and Europe only intensify with each passing day.

Ultimately, however, these cries for interference in the internal affairs of a sovereign nation reflect a deeper guilt in Western society.This, unfortunately, is a paternalistic impulse rooted in older traditions of colonialism and conquest.

In 1899, Rudyard Kipling penned his infa­ mous poem "The White Man's Burden" in McClure's magazine, in response to U.S. imperial ambitions in the Pacific and the Caribbean. "Take up the White Man’s Burden— he writes, "In patience to abide/ To veil the threat of terror/ And check the show of pride." Kipling's poem essentially epitomized rac­ ist nineteenth-century notions about African and Asian dependence and savagery— and argued for

F

'enlightened' countries like Britain and the United States to play a benevolent role.

Western societies are no longer dominated by all-white power structures; in fact, many developed world societies have become cosmopolitan and pluralistic. However, aspects of this “burden" that Kipling identified still remain a formidable impulse in the developed world. From Lives, to bloated for­ eign aid budgets, to cries for military and humani­ tarian intervention in scores of developing coun­ tries, the West still feels a pervasive sense of guilt and responsibility for every humanitarian, political and economic crisis that occurs anywhere in the developing world.

While sympathy for the victims of such atroci­ ties is both natural and warranted, it's not neces­ sarily good policy to intervene wantonly. In his For­ eign Affairs article “Give War a Chance," Edward N. Luttwak correctly argued that though conflict and strife are terrible tragedies, they have beneficial long-term impact. War, he argues, has one "great virtue. It can resolve political conflicts and lead to peace. This can happen when all belligerents be­ come exhausted or when one wins decisively. Ei­ ther way the key is that the fighting must continue until a resolution is reached."

In short, conflicts that are allowed to play themselves out naturally often lead to greater

long-term stability. During the tragedy in Rwanda hundreds of thousands died; however, ethnic strife in the country remains rare to this day. The genocidal Hutu regime was overthrown in a mere 100 days from the start of the conflict and Rwanda has had no outbreaks of similar ethnic violence since.

Cyprus, on the other hand, is a country were hu­ manitarian intervention has failed miserably. Per­ manent strife still exists between Greek Cypriots and Turkish Cypriots and reconciliation remains an elusive dream to this day.

The situation in Kenya is no different. Though it has an ethnic dimension, it is ultimately a political and constitutional crisis—and one that Kenyans will need to resolve on their own terms. Humani­ tarian aid should be provided, but military inter­ vention or peacekeeping deployments should not be an option. Western countries too have endured constitutional breakdowns; often ones that de­ volve into bloodshed and chaos. Yet, few proposed humanitarian intervention during the American Civil War, or an invasion of Canada during the KingByng affair.

Kenya is a sovereign country in the throes of a constitutional crisis— from which it will hopefully emerge stronger. Sympathy and medical supplies for the victims are appropriate; military or political interference is not. ■

The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society. Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of the Students' Society or McGill University Letters to the editor may be sent to letters@mcgilltribune.com and must include the contributor's name, program and year and contact information. Letters should be kept under 300words and submitted only to the Tribune Submissions judged by theTribune Publication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions.

Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

8

- The McGill Tribune • 08.01.08

OFF THE BOARD

What's written in the stars is a heap of crap E zra G unter uch like Festivus and St. Urho's Day, New Year's is pretty i much a do-it-yourself sort of holiday. For some, January 11 is about dusting off last year's anti-Entenmann's resolu­ tion and buying a new "Lesley Harrison The Spirit of Horses" wall calendar, while for others it's more about getting in good shape for the looming St. Patrick's Day drinking season. For those of the psychic, clairvoyant or extra-sensory bent, however, a new year is the perfect opportunity to make all sorts of dire predictions for the coming 12 months. The massively popular overnight paranormal radio show Coast to Coast AM, for example, has an annual "predic­ tions episode," which features all manner of psychic prognostica­ tors bickering about whether the coming year will bring doom, or in fact only gloom.

Granted, amongst Coast to Coast's normal array of ufolo­ gists, numerologists, conspiracy theorists and crypto-zoologists, the New Year's show is nothing out of the para-ordinary. But it's not just the airwaves of the midnight hour that carry such tantalizingly occult information. Even the most hum-drum, dutifully factchecked daily newspapers roll out the hypnotic red carpet for an annual smorgasbord of baseless speculation. While the horoscope

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Letter to the editor Hitman review missed the mark I have to disagree with Mr. Cheng's ("Hitman Pretty Hit or Miss"04.12.07) review of the movie Hitman on a number of points. For one, I found the movie fairly entertaining, and I even considered seeing it twice. It could just be my love of bad action movies, a love which I share with the controversial columnist Ben Lemieux (who lent me the fantas­ tic film Equilbrium). There were a number of inconsistencies in the film, to be sure; the barcode on the back of the head "secret" assasin logic is beyond me. However, I found the film entertaining overall.

The plot and scripting were not ex­ ceptional, and Mr. Cheng is right to point this out. But both were kept simple enough to ensure that poor delivery of cheesy lines didn't ruin the film, the point of which was to see Agent 47 shoot stuff. Most im­ portantly, I disagree entirely with Mr. Cheng on the issue of casting.

I love Vin Diesel (in fact Triple X is listed on my Facebook profile as one of my favorite films), but cast­ ing Olymphant was, in my opinion, brilliant. He lent a cinematic weight to the role which Diesel would not have, and elevated the film from bad action videogame adaptation to classy bad action videogame adaptation. I by no means wish to undermine Mr. Cheng's, or the Tribune's, movie reviewing skills. I merely have a strange love for ac­ tion films, and I feel compelled to ensure fair and balanced media coverage for them. I hope that ev­ eryone had an opportunity to see Hitman for themselves over the break, and I can't wait for Jumper to come out.

—Jake Itzkowitz SSMU President U3 Political Science

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column is normally hidden like an embarrasingly racist grandpar­ ent in the back-page safety of the "diversions" section, come New Year's the old bat is given a microphone, loudspeaker and prime soap-box space for the airing of unfounded views.

Georgia Niçois, for example, a syndicated astrologer who claims to be “one of the biggest names in stargazing," was given not only a lead illustration on the cover of the National Post's Dec. 29 weekend section, but also a four page spread. (If you missed it, fear not - you can always order her "annual forecasts” on line for the low, low price of $29.95). According to her, this year I will "have an excellent chance of success at a number of things." While you might try to go after everything you want," she warns, "you can't have everything."The important thing, she maintains, is "to work with others to get what you want.” Amazing! If it wasn't written in the stars, who would have guessed?

Personally, I'm not one to be against a little nonsense, at least for the sake of some mild entertainment. But the astrological mumbo-jumbo normally found in your otherwise respectable city journal is the most bland, trite, unimaginative pile that was perhaps ever piled. Instead ofthe routine, overly generalized musings about

home, love and work, I would like, for once, for the horoscope to be daringly specific. It doesn't even have to be something incredibly good, such as, "today, while racing after the garbage truck to get rid of your three-week-old collection of trash you will accidentally stumble across a great big bag of money," or even incredibly bad, such as "today while performing a routine self-conducted prostate exam you will discover a rare breed of cockroach living in your lower bowel." In fact, telling me that while getting up from tying my shoelaces I will accidentally whack my head on a lamp post is just fine. All I ask is for specificity!

While I would love to see horoscope writers walk with straight faces down the narrow road to a brilliant and hilarious professional self-destruction, I don't expect this to happen anytime soon. So long as they can con the public into buying the same crap, over and over, why should they stop? But I do find it difficult to under­ stand how any intelligent person could take them seriously. And unless respectable journalistic institutions are willing to start run­ ning stories about Elvis shopping at Walmart and Jamie Lynne Spears's alien baby, I would suggest that they resolve to give the equally credible horoscope column a pass.*

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F EATURES B y M e g h n a M a r ja d i

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Spend, swab, send—with~ in days, you can unlock secrets of your ancestry, your susceptibility to certain diseases and the probability that your future children will have ^ your eye colour.

All through the use of a user-friendly DNA search engine.

While the new industry growing around genetic testing may be enter­ taining and more convenient than, say, heading to the doctor's office for a series of time consuming tests, experts say the results of such services may not be medically helpful to customers.

This holiday season, a company called Decode Genetics released the first of a unique line of gifts to offer your loved ones: a personalized genetic breakdown. Released in. mid-December, their services offer do-it-yourself genetic testing for $985 USD. Customers receive a testing kit in the mail, complete it and send it back to the company base in Iceland. The results are posted in the online DecodeMe database and users can then browse their own genome for genetic interest.

Decode Genetics is not the only company to cash in on consumers' in­ terest in their genetic makeup. Other companies, such as California-based 23andMe, also began offering services of the same kind in November of 2007. Personal genomics companies such as these are on the rise likely because of our current, medically-inclined consumer climate and recently

a v a ila b le DNA and ontechnolo-

o' 23andMe is to give people access to their genetic information and then enable them to participate in research studies that are of interest to them. We did ~ this now because of the convergence of the scale and lowered cost of genotyping technology, Web 2.0 ca­ pabilities and the advent of information sharing via social networks," says Linda Avey, the cofounder of 23andMe. While genetic testing can offer valuable insights into predis-

positions for various diseases, among other things, it has also left some experts concerned about the lack of both doctor-patient discussion and formal regulations regarding the quality of the tests and information.

What the tests won't tell you Avey and her business partner Anne Wojcicki started 23andMe as a new research model with the goal of moving towards more personalized genetic medicine. Avey maintains that all medicine should be specific to the genetic composition of the person who is being treated. While this is not currently possible, her Web site describes what the beginning stages of this medical advancement would be. What the genome test will tell consumers is what tendencies they have toward certain activities, who their ancestors might be and what colour eyes or hair their children may have. What the tests won't reveal are more serious things, like a person's tendency towards rare genetic diseases.

"The kinds of variants that they are looking for [in the DNA] are the common disease variants.Things like exactly what allele you might have if you have cystic fibrosis are not on their chip,"explains Dr. Roberta Palmour, professor of genetic psychiatry at McGill University.

While not all of the currently available variants convey valuable genetic information, there are some that do. For example, the BRCi gene corresponds to the development of breast cancer and is identified by tests offered by these companies.

"There are, again, many different alleles [gene variants] at that locus but there are some relatively common ones," Palmour says. She expresses concern at the inclusion of these factors in online tests where there is no intervening expert to explain the information to patients.

While the companies'Web sites identify risk factors in their services, perhaps the most daunting aspect for customers is the ominous chance that they could discover a fatal genetic condition and not know how to deal with it. Avey, however, insists that 23andMe has a corporate respon­ sibility to clearly explain to consumers what their test results mean.

“It is the role of 23andMe to interpret genetic information for our customers and make it accessible and understandable. We will continue to develop our educational content for general genetic understanding as well as personalized interpretation based on our customers'genetic pro­ files," she says. Getting these test results without contacting a doctor puts people more in charge of their own healthcare. However, paranoia and misunderstanding remain major risks in such a process.

Is it worth it?

In short, the tests remain a novelty for anyone with deep pockets.

However, they have a large potential to decrease in costs and become more available to the general public.

"At this point [these tests that are advertised to consumers] are prob­ ably quite useless. They put a focus on the assumption that genes are re­ sponsible,”says Abby Lippman, professor of Epidemiology at McGill. "Genes don't cause anything. That's an old idea from the 1980s and 90s. We are much more than a package of DNA. Emphasis on genes is misguided."

08.01.08 • The McGill Tribune • 11

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It is important to note that one risk factor cannot be the sole cause for any condition, but, rather, exists in a larger mix of causes. Experts also express reservations about the meanings of the results themselves.

"None of [the services or tests are] regulated by any governing body.

There is no evidence of what any of this will mean or that having these results will make any difference," Lippman says.

There is little evidence regarding the importance of those risk factors in question. There are also few statistics on false positives and negatives in the tests, which means that even when risk factors are identified, they may not make a difference.

While the identification of risk factors may not directly play any great role in diagnosis or in improving any condition, they may prove valuable in convincing people to undergo lifestyle changes that suit them. Though these tests are not cut and dry, in theory, they can help people on a basic level.

"If people were to act upon the information that they got from this by living a healthier life for their own genotype then that'd be great. Some of the things that would result in a healthier life for almost any genotype are known to us right now and people either do or don't do them. There can be benefits but I think there are also risks," says Palmour.

A new type of medicine Palmour asserts that these tests are just another way to convince peo­ ple to do things to improve their health. She also suggests that such instanc­ es of individual genetic testing are bringing us to a new frontier of medical care that blends nature and nurture in order to help maximize health benefits.

"What really is important is the interaction between the gene and the environment. I think ^ o n e of the things that we need to be learning a great deal more about than we are learning about right now is how to tailor environments to maximize what■ v w m p ' ever your genetic fitness might happen to be," V, ” Palmour says.

Science aside, these companies seem to be happy with their revenues. Though these tests may not be medically helpful, they certainly carry some level of entertainment value, as well as run with the general North American trend of taking one's health into one's own hands. However, until the tests provide more scientifically accurate evi­ dence and more information is released about the industry's regulations, personalized, doctor-free gene testing may just be a novelty service.

Or, perhaps, someday there'll be a "My Genome" application on Facebook. ■

Utilizing the tests available can allow us to understand the disease risks we may pass on to our children.

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Critics have compared Jason Reitman's film Juno to Judd Apatow's Knocked Up. See how these 2007 comedy/dramas about unwanted pregnancies match up.

JU N O

KNOCKED UP

The mother: 16-year old high school student Juno (played by Ellen Page).

The mother: Budding entertainment journalist Allison Scott (played

by Katherine Heigl).

The father: Juno's 16-year old classmate and avid long-dis­ tance runner Paulie Bleaker (played by Michael Cera of Ar­ rested Development fame).

The father: Canadian ex-pat and perpetual slacker Ben Stone (played

by Seth Rogan of Freaks and Geeks fame).

Place of conception: Where else? The bedroom.

Place of conception: A chair.

Number of times the protagonist takes a pregnancy test: Dozens.

Aptow goes for the slapstick jugular in a scene that has Scott and her sister rushing to the pharmacy to buy up every brand of home preg­ nancy test and then using them all.

Number of times the protagonist takes a pregnancy test: Three. The film's opening scene involves Juno chugging Sunny D and going into a convenience store restroom for her third pregnancy test.

Length of time spent considering abortion: Virtually nil. Despite having been impregnated by a young man whose stoner lifestyle is financed by insurance money from a mail truck accident, Scott is dead set on keeping her child from the start.

Length of time spent considering abortion: Considerable.

Juno makes it all the way to the abortion clinic before being tortured by the though of her unborn baby's already-devel­ oped fingernails.

Laugh factor: Medium. Aptow's best work still remains his writing on the television show Freak and Geeks. Knocked Up relies far too much on boring stoner humour and fraternity-style slapstick. Some scenes hit the mark (like the Cirque-de-Soleil-on-shrooms scene), while oth­ ers fall miserably flat.

Laugh factor: High. Aside from a few missteps (notably an in­ sipid cameo by the Office's Rainn Wilson), Juno's humour is subtle, sophisticated and witty.

Dramatic tension: High. Juno is presented to us as a wry 16year old with an iron will, but throughout the film she increas­ ingly shows her vulnerability—as she loses more and more faith in her friends, family and the strangers who have prom­ ised to adopt her unborn child.

The winner: Juno Knocked Up was certainly clever and funny, but it doesn't hold a candle to Reitman's extraordinary film. With a charming soundtrack, a clever screenplay and a talented cast,Juno is not to be missed.

Baby's fate: Quasi-happy ending.

Dramatic tension: Low.The story is, at its core, a banal love story be­ tween the uptight Allison and the irresponsible Ben. The drama in­ volves the conflicts and the compromises that each needs to make— and doesn't ever go much deeper.

Baby's fate: Happy ending.

—Compiled by Byron Tau

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Fluff rice with fork, add frozen peas, mixed vegeta­ bles and cranberries. Let cool.

Make dressing— combine dressing ingredients in a screw-top jar, shake to combine. Stir dressing and salmon into rice. Season with salt and pepper, then serve or refrigerate.

Makes six i-cup servings.

Recipe adapted from Anne Lindsay's Lighthearted Everyday Cooking

Dressing: 'A cup white wine vinegar 2 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp water 2 tsp curry powder Salt and pepper

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Players'Theatre Presents “The Glass Menagerie" The Glass Menagerie is Tennessee Williams' beautifully poetic play about Tom, a young poet, seraching for meaning in the world during the Great Depression. Directed *by Mike Lake.

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January 12 matinee: 2 p.m.

Jaunary 17-19:8 p.m.

January 19 matinee: 2 p.m.

Free wine and cheese on Jan 10.

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W a n t t o a d v e r t i s e in t h e C a m p u s C a le n d a r? F or j u s t a t o o n i e y o u c a n a d v e r tis e y o u r e v e n t u p t o t w o w e e k s in a d v a n c e .

E m ail c a le n d a r @ m c g illtr ib u n e .c o m fo r m o r e in f o r m a tio n , o r d r o p b y t h e T rib u n e o ffic e in S h a tn e r n o .

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08.01.08 • The McGill Tribune • 13

S IL H O U E T T E

R id e in t o w in t e r w it h t h e M c G ill S n o w b o a r d C lu b Y es, skiers a r e a l l o w e d C arolyn Y ates The McGill Snowboard Club started as a voicemail based carpool of about 25 members; now, it has evolved into an online system with over 400 members. Roughly 200 par­ ticipate each week, visiting a differ­ ent hill each time, depending on the snow conditions. Aside from weekly day-trips, they also run two over­ night trips, one in January and one in March.

Despite the name, there are just as many skiers as snowboarders and both perform at a variety of different levels. Meant for recreation rather than competition, the club still helps anyone interested in improving or trying something new.

"We have an instruction system within the club so our own members who have their instructor certification teach," explains President, Aaron Sacheli, U3 physiology. "Instructors post online with their qualifications and other members can go and contact them directly."

As well as offering lessons, the

club has a rental pool for beginners or international students who could not bring their own equipment, from which they can borrow for the season.

Recently, théy've also begun of­ fering a shuttle service between the Macdonald and downtown campus­ es so that more people have an op­ portunity to participate. The shuttle should make it easier for members at Mac to join those on the down­ town campus for their weekly trip to the hills.

"We had a lot of interest coming from Mac and we thought it would be a really great opportunity to inte­ grate both campuses. As far as I know, it's a McGill club first,"says Sacheli.

Even off the slopes the club fun keeps going. "We go to movie pre­ miers, we get discounts at various snow shops where we pick a night and the club goes in and just ransacks the store and we have on-hill events," says Sacheli.

"It's awesome. I've met so many people, I've made so many friends, I've improved greatly in both skiing and

P O D PEOPLE

H e y fa ta s s !

B e c a u s e t h e g y m is t o o far Hey pal, how about that New Year's resolution to drop 15 or 20 pounds?

It's a bitch to stick with all these half-drunk promises, but to give you that extra push, here are some jams that will at least make you feel guilty about believing your own lies.

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A snowboarder from the club blasts down the mountain. snowboarding," says Diana Rapeanu, U3, finance, who is an executive this year and has been an active member clubfor three years."! would definitely recommend it to everybody because it's such a great deal, you learn so much and have so much fun."B

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Fatso Forgotso— Kyuss When You're Fat— Bruce McCulloch Eat It— "Weird" Al Yankovic Big Legged Emma—The Mothers of Invention Fat Man—Jethro Tull You're the One For Me, Fatty—-Morrissey Fat Bottomed Girls— Queen Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others—The Smiths Fat Man in the Bathtub— Little Feat Big Fat Fuck—Ween When Big Joan Sets Up— Captain Beefheart The Weight—The Band Big Girl—Ghostface Killah Carry That Weight—The Beatles — Compiled by John Semley.

"W o rk s fo r m e"

Membership is $90, not includ­ ing lift tickets. Visit www.mcgillsnowboardclub.com to register or for more information.__________________________

TECH

M o n k e y , d o g o r fish ?

B u y in g a n d u s i n g y o u r cell p h o n e C onor G raham If you don't have a cell phone how, you'll probably end up folding like a silk tie and getting one anyway.

When that day comes, these words of wisdom will aid you in the process.

There are two competing schools of technology in Canada: GSM, which is Fido and Rogers and CDMA, which is Bell and Telus. Most importantly, CDMA is not offered to the general public in Europe, which means it won't work if you visit. CDMA currently has just over 400 million users world­ wide, while GSM has just over 2 billion.

There are four different GSM bands, two in use in North America and two in Europe, so to get full coverage, be sure to get a Quad-Band phone.

The. other disadvantage is that CDMA doesn't use SIM cards. This means that you have to switch hand­ sets if you want to switch between Bell and Telus. It also means that when you get a new GSM phone, you just exchange the SIM cards and it works.

While Fido and Rogers cards are not interchangeable in phones purchased through them, there's a money-saving way around that: Buy your phone as a private order.

If you get your phone with one of the major companies, there are two disadvantages. One, the handset will have to be used with that car­ rier until you have it unlocked, which can cost anywhere from $10-150, and two, you can almost always get the same unit for a cheaper price with a private order.

Buying privately means you im­ mediately save money and have ac­ cess to better products, but you have to be much smarter when you buy. At major stores, there are usually helpful people who secretly know nothing beyond their own stock; at private im­

porters, the people running the store know about hundreds of models and will probably try to sell you the most expensive one. The best way to re­ main safe in this situation is simply to prioritize. What will you be using your cell phone for? Almost every model over $100 these days has Bluetooth, a speakerphone and some sort of camera, so unless you're looking for something in particular, a $100 phone might suit you quiet well.

Brands are also very important, as each has its own strengths and weaknesses. Nokia, for example, is re­ nowned for the durability of its prod­ ucts, Sony-Ericsson boasts extremely long battery life and LG has absolutely gorgeous phones. However, each brand has its own weaknesses. LG

phones are gorgeous but fragile, Sony and Nokia are usually unattractive and Samsung, while a good balance of all features, can leave you either happy or disappointed in all areas.

Before you completely vilify the large providers, there is an upside to buying from them. If you're staying in Montreal for at least two years, get into a contract. Some providers will let you change almost any detail of your plan as long as you don't cancel it. But a word of caution: only do this if you are 100 per cent sure that you'll need the same plan, as cancellation fees range from $100-400. You also get either a free or reduced-price phone when you sign up for a contract, so if you're really short on dough, this might be the option for you. ■

F L E X IB L E H O U R S G R O W T H O P P O R T U N I T I E S • B E N E F IT S W H A T W O R K S FO R Y O U ?

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A r ts & E n t e r t a in m e n t FILM

FILM

S o rk in 's h is to r y le s s o n Political d r a m a t a c k l e s R u s s ian B ear B yron T au

Aaron Sorkin has finally laid to rest the old adage about laws and sau­ sages: that it's best never to see them made. Between the decent American President, the extraordinary West Wing and his latest political thriller Char­ lie Wilson's War, he has consistently shown that the political process is not only rich fodder for talented script writers, but is also an alluringly sexy professional calling.

Charlie Wilson's War is the tale of an obscure Texas Congressman Char­ lie Wilson (Tom Hanks) who almost single-handedly commandeers the Congressional appropriations process, using it to funnel money and arms to anti-Soviet Mujahideen fighters in Af­ ghanistan. Along the way, he is helped by a passionate, but insubordinate CIA caseworker played by Philip Sey­ mour Hoffman, a zealous anti-Communist Texas socialite played by Julia Roberts and a rotating cast of buxom female aides who staff his Washington D.C. office.

Sorkin's scripts have always been, at their core, workplace dramas that follow the trials and tribulations of hard working, dedicated profession­ als in the most exciting occupations imaginable. Charlie Wilson's War, how­ ever, is by far the most ambitious in scope. Sports Night and Studio 60 were premised on the production of televi­ sion shows, and even the West Wing was narrowly conceived—the show was confined to the President's inner circle of advisors. In Charlie Wilson's War, however, the entire globe serves as the dramatic arena. Hanks and Sey­ mour Hoffman engage in an absorbing game of geopolitical chess against the Soviets—dining with an Israeli agent, visiting Afghani refugee camps, seduc­

ing the defense minister of Egypt with a bellydance and wooing the President of Pakistan during the course of their extraordinary anti-Soviet crusade.

Hanks plays a convincing, if sometimes overly jovial Congressman Wilson, but his excessive womanizing makes him occasionally seem one-di­ mensional. Phillip Seymour Hoffman, per usual, steals the show as fast-talk­ ing CIA agent Gust Avrakotos, show­ ing depth, maturity and acerbic wit in a role that he was practically poured into. Roberts is sophisticated and love­ ly, but ultimately disappointing. The fault is not entirely her own—her char­ acter was shoddily written and poorly developed from the beginning.

The tempo of the film is also somewhat problematic. While direc­ tor Mike Nichols certainly brings out the humour and warmth of Sorkin's dialogue, the film lacks the dramatic impetus that made the West Wing top-flight television. Often, Nichols meanders through the geopolitical

intrigue and legislative drama as if still directing the disaffected post-baccalaureate Dustin Hoffman in The Gradu­ ate, and the film suffers because of his missteps.

Still, Charlie Wilson's War is an­ other delightful offering from Sorkin, and an Oscar-worthy contender in a crowded holiday field packed with excellent films. Further, the film's un­ derlying message about the post-Cold War U.S. abandonment of Afghani­ stan is heavy-handed, but important in a contemporary America that too often forgets the morè inconvenient historical truths. Sorkin and Nichols have not created a masterpiece— but they have created an affecting political film that transcends partisanship and speaks volumes about the state of the modern world. ■ Charlie Wilson's War is playing at the Scotiabank Cinema (977 Ste-Catherine W). Check www.cinema-montreal. comforshowtimes.

B a r b e r -o u s m u rd e r B u r t o n 's l a t e s t m o n s t e r reeks o f re v e n g e C lare P idsley Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street has everything you've come to expect from a typical Tim Burton production: gothic cinema­ tography, black humour and a tragic antihero played by Johnny .Depp.

The tale originates from the legend of Sweeney Todd, a 19th century fic­ tional serial killer who slit the throats of his victims as they sat for a shave in his barbershop chair. Burton bases his Sweeney Todd on the musical adaptation by Stephen Sondheim, and the musical elements of the film contribute effectively to its gothic ro­ mance and humourous melodrama, although they may be off-putting to anyone still recovering from The Sound of Music.

Set in the grimy streets ofVictorian London, Sweeney Todd depicts a corrupted world of crime, lust and in­ justice. After returning from prison, to which he was unjustly sentenced by Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman), Benja­ min Barker (Johnny Depp) adopts the pseudonym Sweeney Todd and vows revenge. At a turning point in the film, the anger stricken Todd peers out of his window and proclaims poignantly to his partner in crime Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), "It's man devouring man, my dear, and who are we to deny it in here?"

Indeed, Todd's murderous and unre­ lenting attitude is by no means out of place in this swamp of exploitation and perversity.

Fans of Jack Sparrow will be pleased by the return of Depp's cock­ ney accent, with which the actor por­ trays a pathos-filled transformation from family man to murderer. Burton's wife and frequent colleague Helena Bonham Carter adopts her usual bag­ eyed appearance to play the zany Mrs. Lovett, owner of the worst meat pie shop in the city. Her business undergoes a turnaround with the arrival of Sweeney Todd and her fan­ tasy relationship with the serial killer is a source of colour in an otherwise dark setting. In addition to the all-star main cast, Sacha Baron Cohen (AKA Ali G) makes a notable cameo as the flamboyant mountebank Signor Ad­ olfo Pirelli. With his exaggerated Ital­ ian accent, grandiose moustache and skin tight leotard, Cohen's character injects memorable humour into the film and proves the comedian's ability to adapt from Borat to a slightly more highbrow genre of acting.

The film takes a melodramatic approach to its blood and gore: as throat after throat is slit, bright red paint begins to stain and flood the screen. By avoiding a realistic thriller and sticking with Sodheim's Broad­ way style, Burton successfully creates an archaic impression of the legend of Sweeney Todd and rétains the hor­ rible essence of the Victorian myth. ■ Sweeney Todd: The Demon Bar­ ber of Fleet Street is playing at the Sco­ tiabank Cinema (977 Ste-Catherine W.).

Check www.cinema-montreal.com for showtimes.

POP RHETORIC

C lan b ack in da fron t in 200 8?

J ohn S emley ranted, Radiohead and the whole In Rainbows thing has laid successful claim to the title of'tultural water­ shed of 2007" or whatever (sorry The Simpsons Movie, sorry Halo3), but the squabbling, name-calling and general extra-lyrical assaults surrounding the release of Wu-Tang Clan's fifth studio album is shaping up to be one of the most compelling musical goings-on of aught-eight.

Before 8 Diagrams dropped last December, word spread through the hip-hop press, MTV.com and this-orthat other online music watchdog that the album had lost the support of two of Shaolin's finest. Raekwon derided the production of de factor Clan leader the RZA, coldly dispar­ aging his autocratic control of the record and criticizing the excessive use of guitar samples, calling RZA a "hip-hop hippie." Ghostface Killah followed suit, also protesting the album's release date, which rubbed up against the release of his umpteenth album in the past three years, the ridicu­ lously titled (but pretty decent) Big Doe Rehab. The recently kicked-off tour accompanying the release of 8 Diagrams is already marked by no-shows (though this may be ex­ pected from an eight person rap crew stacked with such volatile personalities) and a noted lack of material from the new album.

With all this in-fighting and general, uh, motherfuckin' ruckus surrounding the new record—the group's first in six years—it seems as if that the Clan's reunion is fated to fall apart faster than a pair of knockoff Wu-Wear carpenter jeans. With Ghostface just a few more 30 Rock guest spots

G

away from becoming a household name, GZA still making a killing off Liquid Swords, Raekwon slaving away in the studio on the sequel to Cuban Linx and RZA with his dick in every­ thing from Dre's new album to Ridley Scott movies to the Clinton campaign, ODB dearly departed and the rest of the crew up to whatever, it seems as if the fabric of the Wu has been stretched too far. With so many well-established solo careers, soundtrack and sitcom work, the Clan's centre has destabilized. And with signs of this corrosion showing on tour, in the press and on the album, it seems as if the days of one of hip-hop's most venerated crews are numbered.

(Yeah, 8 Diagrams is good, but its want for the experimentalism of 36 Chambers, the depth of Forever or the party anthems of The W, make it most compelling as a furniture record). Mother of mercy! Is this the end of Wu-Tang?

While I hope not, all the divisiveness and the gener­ ally elegiac quality of the new album makes it seem as if the deck is stacked against me and all the other Wu-crazy white kids who cough up for maybe three hip-hop albums a year. Without bogusly waxing nostalgic about a period in rap music I lived through when I was, like, 11 or 12 or some­ thing, it seems as if the sun is slowly setting on days of hard-hitting branded crews like Wu-Tang and their forbearers—from N.W.A. Cypress Hill and RZA's own Gravediggaz back to Public Enemy, Paul's Boutique-eta Beastie Boys, to Fat Boys, Run DMC and the Furious Five. By now, hip-hop and rap having been so totally appropriated into the larger wash of mainstream culture, the demand for profitability,

accessibility and listenability has resulted in the manufac­ ture of both radio-friendly rappers of the Kanye variety or the long-tee club rap of crews like G-Unit who (as evinced by general knowledge of Fiddy's adolescent drug traffick­ ing and healthy spattering of bullet wounds) have made their bones more in myth than on record.

While various members of Wu-Tang have had their fair share of felonious dalliances and brush ups with Johnny Law, the group always employed their streetwise, nails-hard biography as a jump-off to larger lyrical tapestries, spitfire rhymes and varied strains of fortune cookie moralism. Apart from the dominant move towards the banal beats and singalong choruses of club rap artists, the most popular emerg­ ing hip-hop crews these days find their base in the Red Bull and sizzurp-fueled high-energy crunk movements in South­ ern rap. And yeah, crate-diver favourites like Cannibal Ox and Jedi Mind Tricks still draw a lot of water in some of the (barely) underground circles, but it seems as if these groups are nothing if not the exception that proves the rule.

If hip-hop fans have one wish for 2008 (besides Detox actually seeing a street date), it should be that Wu-Tang re­ solve to strengthen their collective presence, and rekindle the blazes of their previous efforts. It's not that these eight MCs need be tethered together, but a strong, reunited Clan front—in the form of a memorable tour, yes, but most of all an end to all this intra-crew antagonism— may be enough to give contemporary hip-hop the analeptic jolt it so des­ perately needs. ■

08.01.08 • The McGill Tribune • 15

FILM

Previews

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M usic. Necro. Jan. 9 at 8:oop.m; Les Foufounes Electriques (87 Ste-Catharine

A n o t h e r a b y s m a l c la s h o f sci-fi t i t a n s J ohn S emley Oh look, 20th Century Fox is taking one more stab at pitting their most popular sci-fi/horror franchises against each other in a tooth-and-nail winner-take-all battle for ga­ lactic supremacy. Well, the first Alien vs. Predatorwasn't re­ ally that good and the last two movies in the standalone Alien franchise were pretty brutal, but this one is bound to be good, no? I mean, it’s the xenomorph aliens from Alien versus one of the predators from Predator with a bunch of useless humans caught in the crossfire—a premise con­ spicuously titillating in its promise of crossover carnage. Oh wait: shock! Horror! It's terrible.

Yeah, Alien vs. Predator: Requiem is, save the occasional scare and a handful of moderately stirring death sequences, an interminable bore, a waste of eight or ten bucks (save the however-many millions squandered producing it) and more generally, a bad movie. And here's why. First off, in­ stead of crash-landing the titular extraterrestrials in a more densely populated area, all the action (such as it is) goes down in some one stoplight Colorado mountain town.

All the early scenes in the town's surrounding dense for­ est seem too-much like the original Predator—oh, except without Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers or Jesse "The Body" Ventura—and the rest of the film similarly works to crudely replicate the backdrops of similar creature-feature thrillers.

There's some action in 'an industrial kitchen (Jurassic Park), a forge or some other such imprecisely industrial set piece {Terminator 2) and, briefly, a downtown core (again, The Lost World: Jurassic Park). Next: there's so many characters intro­ duced whose history/motivations/emotions are not expli­ cated at all because they get stabbed through the chest by an alien or drawn-and-quartered by the predator after four minutes of screen time.

Finally (and this is the most annoying bit), even though the film is set up to allege evenhandedness in the fight be­ tween the aliens and predator, we are constantly invited into a strange allegiance with predator: we see through his hi-tech thermal scopes and watch as the more identifiably humanoid predator (he's bipedal, he has gnarly dreadlocks) hunts down and evaporates a few dozen rampaging xeno-

morphs. But because predator is also icing sympathetic humans like it's no big deal and is entirely nonverbal (save the occasional growl or click-click-click intelligible only to the most ardent sci-fi nerds fluent in the native tongue of the Yautja), it's impossible to know if we're supposed to be rooting for him or not. Also, the aliens multiply at a ludi­ crous rate, popping out of nowhere and killing characters we don't care about anyways every other scene. It's stupid.

E.). The notorious Brooklyn MC drops his death rap bombs in Montreal this week. Expect the usual barrage of expletives, and ample references to all manner of death, gore and more lurid aspects of BDSM. With Psycho Realm and Sick Symphonies.Tickets $23 at the door.

F ilm. The Rape of Europa; until Jan. 10; Cinema du Parc (3575 Parc). Based on Lynn H. Nicholas'prize-winning book, this documentary examines the Nazi attitude towards art and culture during the Third Reich. Covering topics such as art theft, government restriction of the arts and the resultant resistance movements, The Rape of Europa is required viewing for'anyone interested in cultural history, the Second World War or the larger relationship between art and politics. Checkwww.cinemaduparc.com for tickets and showtimes.

G aming. NFL Tour, PS3, X-Box 360; ships Jan. 8. Combining the showboat athleticism of football with the theatrics of a rock and roll concert, this strangely-conceived sports game allows players to create their own pro'bailer and take on the pros in seven-on-seven arcade action. Expect a mix between Madden and EA's NBA Streets but with a bunch of needless pyrotechnics and impossibly executed tackles.

Reviews SLASHFILM.COM

You see son, Alien meets Predator, falls in love..."

Oh yeah, the plot: well basically, the half-predator/halfalien from the end of the first AvP runs amuck on a preda­ tor spaceship, resulting in a crash-landing in a Colorado forest; all those little facehugger aliens escape and start attacking/impregnating local townsfolk; another predator comes to earth to investigate the crash and there goes the neighbourhood! It's just really, genuinely uninteresting. If this is the direction we're headed in, movie studios should just abandon the parody of being at all interested in plot or anything besides the bottom line and just start crank­ ing out transparently Razzie-friendly stuff like Terminator vs. Chucky or Taxi Driver vs. Scarface or Mrs Doubtifre vs. Miss Daisy or Alien vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ecks vs. Sever or something. ■ Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem is playing attheScotiabank Cinema (977 Ste-Catherihe W.). Check www.cinema-montreal.com for showtimes.

The Busy Signals. The Busy Signals. The punk take on guitar soloing is—simply put— don't, while the glam rock attitude is to solo as much as possible. The Busy Signals want it both ways—and somehow they pull it off, blending these disparate influences quite successfully. The young five-piece outfit seamlessly melds the breakneck rhythms of the Ramones with the tight, focused, me­ lodic guitar lines of Queen, coupled with the vocal sensibilities of female indie rock darlings like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Delivering their potent brand of melodic glam-punk rock-and-roll in fast, intense two-minute doses, their twelve-track debut album clocks in just shy of twenty-five minutes. However, this young Chicago-based band has managed a competent, though not quite impressive, debut album. The lead track "Plastic Girl" is contrived at best, but the call-and^ answer guitar/bass riffs on "Look the Other Way," and the climactic, frenetic energy of songs like "Got it All Wrong" and "Uh-Oh” are more than pleasant enough to offset the unpleasantness of the few throwaway songs. The album's closer"Ring, Ring, Ring" is as sonically predictable as the inevitable titular verbal pun, and ends jarringly with, you guessed it, a busy signal. Overall, however, the band's debut album is infectiously catchy, harmonically pleasing, and lyri­ cally pleasant. The Ramones formula is certainly tried and true and glam-rock revivalism certainly made the Darkness a pile of cash. The Busy Signals aren't breaking new ground, but that's certainly not their charm.

— Byron Tau

P a y in g a f o r t u n e fo r T e x tb o o k s ?

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The McGill Tribune

16 • Arts & Entertainment • 08.01.08

BOOKS

B a c k w h e n t h e c o n fid e n c e m e n r o a m e d

C a n a d ia n h u m o u ris t ta k e s o n t h e thirties C rystal C han Happiness™ writer Will Ferguson, known for his sharp wit and breezy comedy, follows his successful fic­ tional debut with his newest novel, the depression era Spanish Fly. Departing from his usual Canadiana, satire and travel writing, Ferguson's venture into historical fiction betrays an obvious af­ fection for trivia and detail. At times, the novel seems like an excuse for Fer­ guson to grace readers with historical anecdotes and cool little news stories from the thirties that he has been collecting like stamps since he was a child.

Set in the American South, Span­ ish Fly tells the story of the small-town adolescent Jack McGreary, who falls in with Virgil and Rose, a conning couple who travel town to town one scam at a time. Everyone has a past to run from—Jack's is the familiar sad-eyed mother who dies young and a father who loses their money through a scam. The simple storyline is unim­ portant, however, as it serves merely as a skeleton, enabling Ferguson's dizzyingly captivating series of depres­ sion era sights, sounds, and colours.

Enter discussions of prohibition here

and assembly lines there, along with the advent of radio and Steinbeckian dustbowl drifters. Following a textbook-approved chronology of the thirties, the novel approaches the era with a mythical wonder and presents the decade as a simpler time. The per­ sistent past tense and phrases such as "in those years," and "back then" also give the book the feeling of an oldtimey yarn, as do catchphrases such as "sometimes it seemed like the rest of the world was just a waiting room for America," or "maybe that's all love was, a mutual con."

Throughout, Ferguson introduces his own philosophical musings: the book runs heavy on the questioning of relativity. Preteen Jack reads and muses on Pascal's wager and Ovid, and the whole novel presents the con man as "the great all-American hero"and his difficulties as problems with the Amer­ ican dream.

Spanish Fly is an Easter egg of a book. Virgil attempts to convince Jack that reading is nonsense by explaining that he can read the first two words of any section and know the book's message, and a quick fumble through Spanish Fly's four sections confirms

that the comic-minded Ferguson has indeed planted a skeletal sentence.

Other extra-narrative goodies include the first soundtrack composed for a book, consisting of original songs by Tom Phillips (who is mentioned along with his stage name, Slim Williams, in the novel) and readings of excerpts

by Ferguson. The soundtrack also fits with the novel's several metaphors of con games as music.

"I really envy and respect song­ writers,” Ferguson insisted. "What took me ioo pages of writing to get to that emotional point Tom does in three minutes and 20 seconds...music: it's like emotional shorthand."

A two-time winner of the Lea­ cock Medal for Humour for the tongue in cheek style of his earlier books, here Ferguson attempts more subtlety.

"Now I'm trying to let the humour come out of the situation instead of imposing it," he explained. Ferguson himself cites Stephen Leacock's defi­ nition of humour ("the strange incon­ gruity between our aspiration and our achievement") as inspirational to his use of the con man.

"Your dreams and what really happens, who you think you are and

who you really are, that gap between the ideal and the real is where con men apply their trade,” Ferguson said.

"That's also where humour—and trag­ edy—comes from... You can either find life absurd and tragic. Or you can find it absurd and funny. I prefer to find it funny."

Ferguson thus balances the nov­ el's bizarre and hilarious cons with the impending war. Neither the law nor 'travelers'—crime families that were a cross between mafia and gypsies—are ever the real 'bad guys.'The insistent reminders of Nazi machinations climax at the novel's end.This all goes back to relativity.

"Life will demand moral choices.

Jack is trying to avoid that," Ferguson said. "WWII is a constant reminder that there are consequences to moral neutrality."

In departing from his trademark voice to write a genre piece, Ferguson has producd a page-turning historical comic-thriller. There must have been a lot of fact-checking for such a triviafilled novel, but the book could have used some heavier editing; uneven writing arises from repeated phrases, missing verbs, and so on. Perhaps the

AMAZON.COM

The clothes make the con man. editor was too caught up—the book is addictive, snippy and transports you wholly to another time and place for two hours. What separates this from the other pulp fiction is that the writer is merely taking on the genre for style; Ferguson is no dime-store author but one of the most witty satire writers today. ■

C R IT IC IS M O F C R IT IC IS M (O F C R IT IC IS M )

IT 'S 2 0 0 8 . Y O U K N O W Y O U 'R E N O T G O IN G T O G O T O T H E G Y M O R Q U I T S M O K IN G , S O Y O U M IG H T A S W E L L R E S IG N Y O U R S E L F T O H A N G IN G O U T W IT H A & E , W H E R E A L L F O R M S O F B O D IL Y A B U S E A R E B O T H IN D U L G E D A N D C E L E B R A T E D !

In which the Tribune pays Tribute to notable critics of the past.

Robert C h ristg au .

, NEVER M O N D A Y S A T 5 : 3 0 A T G E R T 'S .

(T H E Y S E R V E B O O Z E T H E R E .)

M

c G ill

Scbulich School of Music École de musique Schulich

N e w C o u rs e fo r W in te r 2008 R e g is te r n o w ! —L im ite d E n ro llm e n t

MUTH 475 (Sec. 001 ): Philosophy and Aesthetics o f Music Production Mondays, and Wednesdays 3:00 - 4:00 p.m. in Room C201 Strathcona Music Building * Styles and impact o f leading record producers and engineers * Sound examples from seminal pieces by the Beatles, Steely D an, Blue Oyster Cult, Madonna, Fleetwood Mac, the Sex Pistols, etc. * Alchemy o f interaction between recording technology, art, and the artists responsible for its creation Instructors: D a n ie l J. L e v itin

James McGill Professor & Bell Chair A uthor o f the best-seller “This Is Your Brain on Music” and Producer o f Blue Oyster Cult, Stevie Wonder S a n d y P e a rlm a n

Distinguished Visiting Scholar & D ean’s Chair in Music, Schulich School o f Music Producer o f Blue Oyster Cult, The Clash, T he Dictators; Manager o f Balck Sabbath

TH E BOLLOodf

I f rock criticism is its own domain (and it is), feasibly constituting its own province, outstandingly differ­ ent from the literary or film or social criticism it often rubs elbows with in the back pages of the free press, then American journalist and essayist Robert Christgau is surely its once and future King. Along with Lester Bangs and Greil Marcus, Christgau forms the trifecta of the sacred and profane art of rock criticism. (This trinity can probably be expanded to include Richard Meltzer and/or Ellen Willis, but three seems as always the more perfect number.) The self-proclaimed "Dean of Ameri­ can Rock Critics,"Christgau has amassed a monumental body of work, raging from essays published in the Vil­ lage Voice (where he served in various capacities from the early 70's until 2005), his Consumer Guides which each anthologize a decade's worth of capsule album re­ views and the Voice's Pazz and Jop poll, a once-perennial list of American music critics'top ten lists, accompanied by a lengthy essay by Christgau himself.

Much of Christgau's work outclasses that of his journalistic contemporaries because like the really great rock critics, he takes his subject seriously. This is not to say that there isn't a well-dressed playfulness to his writ­ ing—his whole theory of both Lou Reed and Eminem's importance gravitates around humour and irony and in a review of Springsteen's second album, he writes of the Boss: “This guy may not be God yet, but he has his sleeveless undershirt in the ring." Rather, it is to say that instead of capitalizing on the tumult wrapped up in the so-called culture wars of the sixties in some sophistic or elitist way, he spent his time slavishly working out a taught theory of popular music form, one which drew as much from sports writing and gonzo as it did Frank­ furt School notions of the mass and the varied cultural illuminations of Raymond Williams.

This theory, Christgau writes in "My Favorite Waste of Time" fundamentally "asserted the political equality not just of'folk,' not just 'popular," but crass and abject 'mass' culture." It was here that he laid the groundwork of a lifelong project—one which embraces the crucial premise that rock and roll can be fruitfully considered art every bit as much as Milton, Baudelaire, Beethoven or Monet. From this aesthetic/political axiom, patterns in Christgau's taste become apparent. While tending to favour artists who are in one way or another "politi­ cal" (Neil Young, The Clash, Public Enemy), he has never

J ohn S em ley been so strappingly fixed to his sufficiently left-leaning impulsions to ignore the glittery indulgences of groups like the New York Dolls (his favourite band) or the dis­ heartened liberalism of Randy Newman. Politics aside, what really marks Christgau's tastes is quality. While Nat King Cole, Bonnie Raitt, Sonic Youth, George Gershwin, Joe Strummer and DJ Shadow may share little in terms of aural or social resonance, they are equalized on the basis of their shared excellence—peers most important­ ly on the grounds that, by Christgauan reckoning, they are all exceptionally good. It is this belief in the objec­ tive existence of aesthetic merit that separates him still from the ever-increasing swell of cultural relativists. "In some primordial part of me," he writes, "with the sheer­ est respect for all principles of multivalence and different-strokes-for-different-folks, I suspect that bad music is bad for you—it's a kind of sin, a sin critics were put on earth to bear."This attitude was embodied in the Con­ sumer Guides, which eventually began to favour printing reviews of better albums over more middling records.

And if Christgau's definition of the objectively good stuff seems at times too canonical, it is only because he worked so well to define the rock canon, to consume al­ bums with near-gluttonous rigor and mettle out grades in the manner of the dispassionate headmaster.

Unlike many of the more over-the-hill rockist snobs, Christgau has always kept abreast of developments in the genre. Waxing nostalgic only fleetingly for what he calls "the eternal youth" of the age when rock still rolled and generally suspicious of the overblown consequence of the flower power movement, he has never erred in remaining particularly fixed to the stoned-free post-beat attitudes of the sixties or the similarly optimistic anar­ chism of the next decade's punk movement. An early supporter of hip-hop—though he notably disparaged now genre-defining gangsta rap artists like Ice Cube for the patent misogyny of his rhymes—as well as the riot grrl movement and, as expressed on his occasional popins on NPR's All Songs Considered, the current trend in indie rock, Christgau has managed to remain relevant by being able to keep up-to-speed with developments in rock and pop. Still diligently sorting through stacks of albums from whichever genre, still eminently quali­ fied in separating the wheat from the chaff, Christgau is one rock institution content neither to burn out nor fade away. ■

S ports H O C K E Y — M A R T L E T S 7 , C O N C O R D IA 0

N e w y e a r , s a m e s to r y : M a r t le t s t a k e t o u r n e y McGill r o u t s C o n c o r d i a t o c a p t u r e T e r e s a H u m e s title A aron S igal While the rest of us try to shake off the de­ bilitating holiday, New Year's and back-to-school hangovers, the McGill Martlets clearly demon­ strated to all observers that they have not been slowed by any of the break's excesses.

Having already cruised through their first two games of the 40th annual Teresa Humes Tournament at Concordia, outscoring their op­ ponents 10-2 in the process, the Martlets con­ tinued their new year's demolition by crushing the host Stingers 7-0 in the tournament finals.

In front of a boisterous and hostile Concordia crowd of 600 people at Ed Meagher Arena, Mc­ Gill, propelled by a hat trick from bruising power forward Vanessa Davidson, controlled the flow of play and filled the net seemingly at will.

“We really wanted it a lot tonight," the three-goal scorer said. "Concordia is our cross­ town rival and we don't want to lose to them.

We just wanted to put it away early, take the crowd out of it and then control the game with our speed."

Quick start McGill accomplished that first stated goal of putting the match out of reach immediately as only 24 seconds into the championship clash, captain Shauna Denis deflected a low point shot from d,efenceman Cathy Chartrand past Concordia's Meggy Hatin-Léveillée and into the top corner for a power-play marker. While the goal proved to be the eventual game winner, the crowd and the Stingers refused to be de­ moralized and it was the Martlets that seemed to be suffering more than their counterparts from a case of championship jitters. McGill, holding their sticks too tightly, uncharacteristi­ cally committed numerous unforced turnovers and wayward, fluttering passes, twice forcing standout goalie Charline Labonté into difficult kick saves off dangerous Stinger opportunities.

"Anytime that you're put into a champion­ ship situation, I think that the nerves are going to be there to start off," explained Acting Head Coach Amey Doyle, who is filling in for Head Coach Peter Smith who is currently in Calgary

with the Canadian national team. "I thought that they did a really good job getting pucks to the net in the beginning and keeping it simple.

They paid attention to detail and the nerves started to settle once they started dominating the offensive zone and they began to play the way we can play."

Despite the Martlets' early struggles, the Stingers were unable to capitalize on their home-ice advantage and the Martlet first line of Davidson, Denis and rookie Ann-Sophie Bettez—selected as the tournament's all-star forward—began to assert its will on the run of play. With a dominating cycle along the boards and puck possession in the offensive end for minutes at a time, the McGill trio combined speed with power all evening and settled the anxious squad, setting the tone for the even­ tual rout. Just over halfway through the first period, after wearing down the Concordia pen­ alty-killing unit in the offensive end, Davidson, snapped a low howitzer from the half boards past a screened Hatin-Léveillée sending the Martlet bench into palpable relief. Only six min­ utes later, the top line struck again when after yet another prolonged attack iwhile on a 5-on-3 situation, Denis centred the puck into the slot and Chartrand picked it out of a scrum and roofed it underneath the crossbar. "[The Denis-Davidson-Bettez line] was obviously very successful tonight," Doyle said.

"They play so well with each other. Denis and Davidson are experienced and Anne has been a great addition. They just keep their game sim­ ple and outwork their opponents in the offen­ sive zone. They really gave our bench a boost of energy."

Second stanza explosion Although they outshot Concordia 17-6 in the first period and emerged with a seemingly insurmountable 3-0 lead, the Martlets had been unsuccessful at even-strength with all three of their tallies coming on the power-play. The la­ dies in Red 'n' White had not yet shown their toR-ranked pedigree but that was about to change in the second period.

By the halfway point of the frame, David­

HUGEGALDONES

F Vanessa Davidson celebrates one of her three goals with linemate Shauna Denis. son potted two more goals, both assisted by her two linemates, Denis and Bettez, capturing her first hat trick since last season and chasing the Stinger starter from the game. Davidson's first goal saw McGill retain possession for more than a minute on a delayed Concordia penalty with Labonté already on the bench. When Denis fi­ nally finally threw the puck into the slot for a scoring chance, Davidson made no mistake, sliding a shot into the lower half of the cage. Six minutes later, the power forward struck again as Bettez, in highlight fashion, completely un­ dressed the Concordia defence with an out­ standing move entering the offensive zone and fed Davidson for a wide-open goal at the side of the net. The Red 'n' White would go on to add a third marker in the frame, matching their first period output, as a point shot from de­ fensive stalwart Chantal Gauvin redirected off a body in front of the net and found the cage behind the new Stinger goalie, backup Audrey

Doyon-Lessard.

With the game and the tournament al­ ready long decided and McGill having yet again this season thoroughly outclassed their opponent, both sides seemed content to let the clock run out without much action in the third. The only goal—an inconsequential sev­ enth— came off the stick of forward Jordanna Petroff, who finished some crisp passing off the rush by burying a wrister into the top, glovehand corner.

With the victory in the Teresa Humes final, in which they outshot Concordia 46-20 and went four of 12 on the power-play, the Martlets captured their fifth straight tournament win and their second consecutive championship in this yearly event. McGill, now 22-4-1 overall this season, will continue its assault on the CIS's Quebec conference as the team hosts a famil­ iar foe, Concordia, for another tilt at McConnell Arena on Jan. 11. ■

THIRD MAN IN

A m istake of O lym p ic p ro p o rtio n s M att C hesser he Richmond Olympic Oval is visually stunning. Situated less than five minutes away from Vancouver Internation­ al Airport, its gently sloping cedar roof is one of the first things I spotted as my plane started its descent towards my beautiful West Coast hometown. From the air the roof is sup­ posed to resemble a stylized heron's wing, and while that's typical designer bullshit that seeks to "pay tribute" to the First Nations community, the impact of such a bold design in a city filled with bland architecture is spectacular.

Less than a 30 minute drive in the opposite direction from the Oval is a two-kilometre-square stretch of abject poverty and urban misery. A place where 70 per cent of the area's residents have Hepatitis C and an estimated 30 per cent are HIV-positive—rates that rival some of the most underde­ veloped African nations. Drug dealers and pimps exploit over 1,200 homeless users that populate the area known as the downtown eastside, which is only a short walk from the city centre. The situation is so horrific that last year the UN called Vancouver a "scarred paradise... marred by an area of soul­ crushing poverty."

The dichotomy scares me. As impressed as I am by the scale and majesty of the new rink overlooking the Fraser River, I just can't shake the feeling that the money would be better

T

spent elsewhere.

Thanks to the 2010 Olympic Games, the Oval will give Richmond a ninth sheet of ice, to service a population of less than 135,000, while the downtown eastside will continue to be a slice of Hell in an otherwise Heavenly city. It doesn't seem right, does it?

The Oval, which will host speed skating events at the 2010 Olympics, accounts for $60 million of the $580 million that taxpayers will contribute to the Vancouver Olympic Committee—a budget figure that does not include roughly $600 million being spent to upgrade the Sea to Sky Highway between Vancouver and Whistler, nor the cost of construct­ ing a rapid transit line (SkyTrain) from the airport to the city's downtown core. The taxpayer contribution could rise in the near future, as the $175 million figure budget for security is widely expected to be a fraction of the true necessary cost.

Any budgetary overruns incurred by the 2010 Games will be shared by the provincial and federal governments.

Spending billions of dollars to host a glorified "celebra­ tion" of second-tier sports is insane. Funding amateur athlet­ ics just doesn't make sense to me: If the sport cannot charge ticket prices or attract sponsorships that cover the cost of paying their athletes, then tough luck. Subsidizing athletes in

order to spur patriotism doesn't make fiscal sense, since the benefit to the taxpayer is pretty much non-existent. Public money should not be mixed up in marginalized sports.

If the Olympics are truly worth holding, let private spon­ sorships cover the negative costs. Get rid of the outdated idea of "Olympic purity" and let "IKEA presents Olympic Bobsled­ ding" become a reality. Follow the model of baseball's World Classic, or Soccer's World Cup—both moneymaking ventures that also bolster national pride—and take a page from golf's playbook and create a purse to be divided among the par­ ticipants based on results. Furthermore, money spent on creating new facilities can be saved by hosting the Olympics in multiple cities that already have such world-class venues in place— similar to the way the FIFA Under-20 World Cup was held in six different cities across Canada. Then focus our tax money on an area in which it could effect some positive change.

It may be hard to believe, but sometimes there are more important things in life than sports. When the choice comes down to it, what's more important: seeing Anton Apollo Ohno in a skintight aerodynamic suit or helping those who have been pushed to the fringe of our society?

It's not exactly a difficult choice. ■

18 • Sports • 08.01.08

The McGill Tribune

Sports Briefs

L ast C a ll

compiled by M att C hesser

and

A aron S igal

STANDINGS Hockey (W)

GP

w

L

OTL

p

Hockey (M)

GP W

L

OTL

p

McGill

10

10

0

0

20

U Q TR

18

14

3

1

29

Carleton

11

4

7

0

8

McGill

16

11

4

1

23

Ottawa

9

3

4

2

8

Ottawa

19

9

9

1

19

Concordia

10

3

7

0

6

Concordia

17

9

7

1

19

Carleton

19

8

ON DECK Martlets Hockey—Concordia Stingers at McGill Martlets; Friday, 7 p-m. at McConnell Arena After sweeping away all challengers at Concordia's Teresa Humes Tournament, including laying a 7-0 beatdown on the host team in the finals, the Martlets return to Quebec conference action against none other than... the Concordia Stingers. Forgive us if we don't get too excited about this match-up anymore.Top-ranked McGill has already played their cross-town rivals five times this season, racking up a 5-0 record and outscoring the last-place Stingers 25-1. So for Sports'stone cold lock of the week, drop by McConnell Arena for a game that will likely be less competitive than a Martlets practice scrimmage.

Redmen Basketball— UQAM Citadins at McGill Redmen; Friday, 8 p.m. at the McGill Sports Centre Now here's a team that our unspirited campus needs to throw its weight behind. The diminutive Redmen cagers, led by stud forward Sean Anthony and shifty guard Moustafa El Zanaty, may be short in stature but are showing that grit and heart more than compensate. Already in the throes of a surprisingly strong cam­ paign in which the team finds itself in a three-way tie atop the Quebec conference standings, McGill, in its last game finally de­ feated its arch-nemesis, the third-ranked Concordia Stingers—a side that earlier this year shocked the NCAA's Illinois Fighting lllini in an exhibition tilt—77-76 in a nail biter after suffering 25 straight losses against their Sherbrooke neighbours. UQAM comes into McGill with an unimpressive 0-5 record, placing them at the bottom of the standings, so expect the Redmen to continue to build on their solid start to the season.

Redmen Volleyball—Montreal Carabins at McGill Red­ men; Sunday, 3 p.m. at the McGill Sports Centre Our last men's volleyball entry caused a bit of a spat but since then the team has managed to find the win column so we feel obligated to show the Redmen some love. While it was nice to see the McGill squad on the right side of a game—they beat Memorial University (we've never heard of it either) 3-1—the volleyballers haven't been able to capitalize on that momentum as they have rattled off three consecutive losses since the historic victory. Although McGill are in a distant last place in the division, go out and give the guys some support. Hey, it's been over five years since we could say, "The Redmen are 1-3 in their last four volleyball games,"so let's celebrate.

NHL Hockey—Detroit Red Wings at Ottawa Senators; Sat­ urday, 7 p.m., CBC With the Leafs in San Jose for a rare late-game appearance on the Hockey Night in Canada doubleheader, Ottawa gets the na­ tional spotlight provided by the primetime slot—can't you hear the cries of joy from the Ottawa-Gatineau region and the deafeaning silence in the rest of the Great White North? Viewers will be treated to some of the best hockey to be seen all year as the two perennial, and current conference leaders hook up for a gi­ gantic clash. Superstars such as Ottawa's Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley and Detriot's own dynamic duo of Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk will get to strut their stuff on hockey's biggest night of the week in what might be a Stanley Cup preview.

NFL Football—Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patri­ ots; Saturday, 8 p.m., ABC It was hard to leave out the other AFC playoff game between the surging San Diego Chargers and the defending champion India­ napolis Colts, but how can you ignore the Patriot juggernaut and its drive for 19-0? This New England side led by the newly crowned NFL MVP, QB Tom Brady, his right and sure-handed man, WR Randy Moss, and football's greatest mastermind, Bill Belicheck, have simply been unstoppable all season, beating op­ ponents in historic fashion. However, the Jags, spearheaded by their two-headed rushing monster in RBs Fred Taylor and Mau­ rice Jones-Drew, have become the trendy playoff pick and many see this as a very possible upset. Although a warm-weather team, Jacksonville is built for cold, January football in the Northleast as seen by their defeat of the Steelers last weekend. Also, I with the RB-hydra carrying the rock, the Jags can attack the Pats' I soft underbelly—an aging linebacking corps. Expect this one to Ibeadandy.

9

2

18

V o lle y b all (W)

W

L

GW

GL

p

Montreal

9

2

29

10

18

Sherbrooke

8

3

27

12

16

McGill

7

4

24

20

14

23

8

Laval

4

7

19

BOX SCORE Sunday, January 6,2008 McGill Martlets 7 vs. Concordia Stingers o Ed Meagher Arena, Loyola Campus SCORING SUMMARY FIRST PERIOD: 1. McGill - Shauna Denis {Cathy Chartrand, Vanessa Davidson), 0:24 (PP) 2. McGill - Vanessa Davidson (Ann-Sophie Bettez, Jasmine Shee­ han), 12:34 (PP) 3. McGill - Cathy Chartrand (Shauna Denis, Jasmine Sheehan), 1734 (PP) SECOND PERIOD: 4. McGill - Vanessa Davidson (Ann-Sophie Bettez, Shauna Denis), 4:04 5. McGill - Vanessa Davidson (Ann-Sophie Bettez, Shauna Denis), 10:39 6. McGill - Chantal Gauvin (Carly Hill, Kate Elzinga), 11:43 (PP) THIRD PERIOD: 7. McGill - Jordanna Peroff (A. Und-Kenny, Chantal Gauvin), 11:36 GOALTENDERS: McGill: Charline Labonte (W, o GA, 20 saves, SHO, 60:00) Concordia: Meggy Hatkin-Leveillee (start, L. 5 GA, 25 saves; 30:39) Audrey Doyon-Lessard (ND, 2GA, 14 saves) SHOTS BY PERIOD TEAM 1 2 3 -Total McGill: 201610 - 46 Concordia: 6 6 8 - 20

Confused by all these Presi­ dential primaries? Try decipher­ ing the BCS bowl formula and you’ll go running back to Iowa or New Hampshire in tears.

Come discuss the idiocy of the BCS, and while you’re at it start the new semester off right by picking up an article for the Sports section.

If interested, email us at sports@mcgilltribune.com or drop by our office at Shatner I 10.

Redmen stun Stingers Moustafa El Zanaty scored 20 points as unranked Mc­ Gill stunned third-ranked Concordia 77-76 in men's univer­ sity basketball at the Concordia gymnasium, Saturday.

It was McGill's first victory over their cross-town ri­ vals since Nov. 22, 2002, ending a six-year, 21-game losing streak to the Stingers.

F Sean Anthony added 17 points and a team-high eight rebounds for the Redmen, including the deciding basket on a three-point shot to snap a 74-74 deadlock with 1:23 remaining in the contest. McGill, which led 44-39 at the half, also had 13 points from PG Nikolas Pronovost.

Damian Buckley, one of five Stingers to reach double figures in scoring, tallied 15 points in a losing cause.

The Redmen shot 42.6 per cent from the floor (26/61), 29.2 from three-point range (7/24) and 69.2 from the foul line (18/26), compared to Concordia, which shot 46.6, 29.4 and 70.8, respectively. McGill had a slight 35-32 edge in rebounding, a 9-8 margin in steals and 3-1 advantage in blocked shots.

The win moved McGill into a first-place tie with Concordia and Laval in the Quebec conference. All three teams have identical 4-2 records. The Redmen will host UQAM and Bishop's on Jan. 11 and 13, respectively.

Martlets sweep UNB Tournament Centre Emilie Ruel scored 17 points and grabbed eight rebounds as McGill defeated UPEI 66-58 to capture the Helen Campbell Memorial women's basketball tour­ nament in Fredericton on New Year's Eve. It was their first tournament win since capturing the Redbird Classic in 2006. The Martlets defeated Royal Mili­ tary College 91-45 in Saturday's opener and the University of New Brunswick 61-50 on Sunday.

McGill PG Christine Kennedy was voted tournament MVP, while teammates Rikki Bowles and Nathifa Weekes both made the all-tournament team.

Kennedy tallied 32 points in the three games with 13 assists, eight steals and four rebounds. The third-year sci­ ence major shot 41.8 per cent from the field (10/24), went 3-for-6 from three-point range and made nine of 10 free thrown attempts.

The Martlets improved to 8-10 overall this season and will resume league play at Concordia on Jan. 5.

Redmen wrap-up Serbian odyssey D Yan Turcotte and F Simon Marcotte each scored once and added an assist as the McGill Redmen defeated UjpestiTorna Egylet, 4-2 in Budapest on Friday night.

The victory wrapped up an overseas Christmas break trip for the Redmen, who finished second of four teams with a 3-1 record attheVojvodina International Cel­ ebration of Hockey Tournament, co-hosted by Serbia and Hungary.

McGill's only loss came at the hands of Dunaujvaros, a Hungarian professional men's hockey team, who scored late in the third period to knock off the Red 'n'White by a 21 score on Thursday.

The other two victories for the Redmen came over a pair of Serbian all-star teams that McGill defeated 7-3 and 3-1.

Three different goaltenders made starts for the Red­ men, including third-string netminder Jake Jarvis who made 15 saves to earn his first career victory. G Jean-Mi­ chel Filiatrault made his first start since suffering a knee injury in October and led the way in McGill's victory over U TE.

The Redmen return to action on Jan. 12, visiting the University of Ontario Institute of Technology for their first regular season game of 2008.

Martlets capture Gryphons tournament despite loss F Jennifer Newton scored midway through the sec­ ond period and netted the lone goal of a post-overtime shootout, as the second-ranked Alberta Pandas knocked off top-ranked McGill 2-1 in a shootout to close out the Gryphons invitational women's hockey tournament in Guelph on Dec. 30.

Despite the loss, which snapped the Martlets win streak against Canadian university opponents at 18 games, McGill captured the three-game tourney on goaldifferential. McGill, Alberta and fourth-ranked Laurier each finished with a 2-1 record, while host Guelph went winless.

The Martlets ended up with a differential o f+9, with victo­ ries over Guelph (8-0) and Laurier (2-0). The Golden Hawks and Pandas each finished with a differential o f+3.

The late-December game was the first meeting between the two hockey powerhouses since Alberta knocked off the Martlets 4-0 in the CIS gold medal game last March to claim their second consecutive national championship.

A T T E N T IO N G R A D S 2 0 0 8 Better get your photo taken to be included in O ld M cG ill 2008.

This isthe only campus-wideyearbook Take thegood times i $25.00 gets you a photo sitting

J o s te n s is a n o ffic ia l s u p p lie r o f g r a d u a tio n rin g s to M c G ill U n iv e rs ity A v a ila b le a t H F

P h o to

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$48.00 txs. inc. gets you a cam pus yearbook

LISTED BELOW ARE THE DATES FOR THE FACULTY PHOTO SESSIONS M e d ic in e

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Explore a centuries old dance that has enthralled nations around the globe. Quickly gain basic knowledge to be able to dance Argentinean tango the way it was meant to be: free of constraints and of strict boundaries. No partner required; just you, your good humour, and your feet. This program promotes superior physical health for your body and mind.

Cost: S45

Have you always wanted to master this instrument but never got the chance? Were private lessons so expensive that you decided to forget about it? Our extremely popular Guitar class is the solution - here’s your chance to learn all those popular songs that you love to sing to. Learn guitar at a fraction of the price of private lessons! All you need is a guitar Cost: $45

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Ever wanted to learn how to sketch but never knew where or how to start? Take this beginner’s course to unlock the artist in you!

Cost: $45 A ra b ic C a llig rap h y *N EW * Beginner

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Learn the beauty of Latin dance Cost: S45

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Add a new dimension to your life! Enhance your appreciation of music and awaken your dancing genes. Ballroom dancing is not only fun, it a great way to get active and meet people (no partner required!). This course focuses on the Viennese Waltz, Slow Waltz, Foxtrot, and Tango. It's a wonderful stress reliever —exactly what the professor ordered.

Cost: S45 Intro to B a rten d in g Beginner

Think your drinks could use a bit more creativity? Be the best host around with this new found skill. During this amazing class, you will familiarize yourself with shaking, equipment set up, fruits and garnishes, glassware and, of course, preparation -and tasting!- of various classic cocktails and drinks. This is an introductory bartending course —you will not receive an official certificate for having participated.

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Cost: $60 Indian co o k in g

This extremely popular speed reading course is once again being offered at McGill. This 1-day class always gets rave reviews and regularly has students improving their reading speed, while also helping them improve comprehension and retention.

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Impress your friends with your new found culinary techniques after taking this Italian cooking course (5 classes) Cost: $55

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Having trouble getting around outside the McGill Bubble? Get a grip on all the French you need to get around in this great city. The beginner’s I class is a complete introduction to the course, while beginner’s II and intermediate are for students who still remember their high school French and want to learn more Cost: $45 F r e n c h C o n v e rsa tio n a l Do you already understand the majority of everything you hear but just want to practice speaking? Take advantage of our French Conversation course, which has a tiny class size to maximize your speaking practice.

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Need to brush up the Spanish skills for your next vacation to Mexico or Spain? We’ve hired an extremely experienced teacher with first hand teaching experience in Mexico who will make sure you fall in love with the Spanish language and culture!

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Kripalu Yoga calms the body and calms the mind, creating inner stillness. This hatha yoga practice tones, strengthens muscles and increases flexibility. You will leave energized yet relaxed, ready to face whatever else is going on in your life.

Cost: $45 P ilâ tes Beginner

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Watch as your body becomes toned throughout the semester as you learn a series of controlled movements engaging your body and mind.

Cost: $45 B e lly d a n cin g

*NEW*

~ Course schedule/prices are subject to change ~ Please refer to the website for details concerning room locations, specific start dates & times, refund policy and cancellations ~ Courses start the week of January 21st, range from 5-8 weeks in duration and take place on campus weekly (in the evenings) with certain exceptions ~ Non-McGill students are welcome and may register for an additional $5/mini-course ~ Payment in cash is due at the time of registration ~ Spots can not be reserved

Beginner

Learn the beauty of belly dance and receive a great workout at the same time Cost: $45

Beginner

Tired of eating canned food? Learn to prepare savory Indian dishes. You get to take home leftovers. Yum! (5 classes) Cost: $55

Beginner

Zumba is a “feel-happy” workout that is great for both the body and the mind. Interval training and resistance training are combined with easy to follow dance steps to maximize fat burning and total body toning. Zumba is based on the principle that a workout should be "fun and easy to do” Cost: $45

Don’t miss out on learning this beautifully scripted language! This course will teach you the basics of spoken and written Arabic Cost: $45

Intro to S k e tc h S a lsa

Zum b a

K ick b o x in g Beginner

Take advantage of our brand new kickboxing equipment and get fit in the process! This course offers a unique opportunity to be introduced to the dynamic techniques of kickboxing, to learn a practical means of self-defense and to workout a complete regimen of physical conditioning. Footwork, kicks, flying-kicks, punches, blocking and weaving techniques are all taught. In addition, techniques from other martial arts will be taught when necessary.

This course is taught by the current World Hard-Contact Karate Champion Cost: $45 S e lf-D e fe n se S e m in a r (O ne day only) Walking home alone at night? Make sure you have the tools to protect yourself in any potentially dangerous situation. This course will teach you to heighten your awareness and accurately read your intuition in order to avoid violence, aggression and confrontation.

This course will also teach you to evaluate potentially dangerous situations and do what you can to avoid problems.

Cost: $45

C O M P L E T E T H IS S U R V E Y & Y O U R N A M E W IL L B E E N T E R E D IN A D R A W T O W I N A $ 3 5 g if t c e r tif ic a te R e s t a u r a n t d u V ie u x P o r t * Which mini-course(s) have you taken in the past?

Which other courses would you like us to offer?

Name: Telephone #: E-mail address: * One entry/person at the time of registration