The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 15

NEWS: Activism-Huffing & puffing might not be the best tactic.

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Curiosity delivers. Vol. 24 Issue 15

A&E: Is it bad that we still want to marry Jordan Knight?

T r ib u n e

SPORTS: You don't get stems like this without the slut's workout.

PUBLISHED BY THE STUDENTS' SOCI ETY OF MCGI LL UNIVERSITY

2 17 21

W ednesday, Janu ary 5, 2005

Daily wins autonomy referendum But J-Board seals opt- ut question results LA U R A SABA

BENII FEIDMAN

M cG ill Daily Double: I'll take "autonomy and a mandatory fee" for $10

per student per year, Alex. A drawn-out referendum finally ends.

Deeming the opt-out question unclear, the Students' Society Judicial Board decided never to disclose the results of the November referendum question seeking to make optional the Daily Publications Society's $ 10 per student yearly fee. The results of the autonomy question, posed by the DPS in response to the optout question, have been released, revealing that of the 3 ,6 2 6 stu­ dents who voted, 7 8 per cent were in support of the DPS's autonomy from SSM U. The J-Board had ordered Elections M cG ill to tem­ porarily seal the results of both questions hours before they were set to be announced on November 3. On December 1 1, J-Board released its decision recognizing Elections M cGill's diligence in their handling of the ques­ tion but declaring it null and void.

In October, current DPS members and former SSM U executives Vivian Choy, Rodrigo DeCastro, and M ia G ew ertz submitted a non-binding referendum ques­ tion that asked students whether they should be allowed to opt out of the DPS's annual $ 10 fee. The DPS pub­ lishes the M cG ill Daily and le Délit Français.

Elections M cG ill Chief Returning Officer Andrew C arva jal said that the initial phrasing of the question mandated the DPS to change its fee structure, which a SSM U referendum does not have the power to do.

Instead, the DPS's constitution states that students who want to change the DPS fee structure must approach its Board of Directors.

The three students rewrote the referendum question, but did not include wording referring to SSMU's role in the process. Elections M cG ill approved the question, as they felt that it did not violate the SSM U constitution.

During the cam paign, M cG ill Daily Coordinating Editor Daniel Cohen and DPS Board chairperson MarieEve Clavet submitted a petition asking the J-Board to invalidate the question because they felt it w as mislead­ ing.

A

brand spankin' new year and the same recycled slew of vices w e vow to absolve ourselves of each January 1. But this year will be different, you say to yourself. Think again. Every year, it's the

same, yet inevitable, tired old dance. Stop kidding yourself-that Freshman 15 is here to stay. Rather, join us in wishing for a better 2 0 0 5 , with strippers available at our beck and call, the comeback of Howard Dean, and the rise of The Random Dude.

"I think that in the province of Q uebec, w e have come to value the clarity of a referendum question," said Cohen. “Students did not have a fair chance to know what they were voting on, and the question needed to be more clear."

C arva jal said that he respected the decision to per­ manently seal the results.

"W e had warned the people who brought the question forward about this," he said, 'but there w as nothing on the document that prevented it [from] being placed on the ballot."

He said that Elections M cG ill w a s only given 2 4

hours to make a decision on the question, whereas the J-Board had a w eek to study the question.

The question purposely did not include words spec­ ifying the role of SSM U , said Choy.

"Given that it is the accredited representative body for all undergraduate students, a referendum question by w a y of the fact that it is placed before all undergradu­ ates should implicate the SSM U whether that is stated or not," she said.

In addition, she said, the results could have been interpreted and considered on their merits by anyone, including the DPS, since the issue affected all students.

A repeat possible, but not likely C hoy said that she would not pursue a similar ref­ erendum question in the future.

"M y goal in all of this w as not restricted to the pass­ ing of a referendum question," she said.

Cohen hopes that referendum questions surround­ ing the DPS will not appear on SSM U ballots ag ain. He said that students have been educated about the DPS and its fee structure because of the controversy surround­ ing the referendum.

"As a result, people who are acting in good faith and really believe that the fee is unfair for any reason will now understand how to go about making a change," he said.

The opt-out referendum effort w as not in vain, said Choy.

"That this question w a s rejected is irrelevant to the fact that this year's crew of freshman students will be watching and reading where their money is going for the next four years," she said.

Autonomous, just like the last time you checked The J-Board allowed Elections M cG ill to release the results of another referendum question, which w as sub­ mitted by Cohen and Clavet on behalf of DPS and asked students whether the publisher should remain autonomous from SSM U. O nly 1 7 .5 per cent of students voted "N o ," while 4 .3 per cent of the ballots were spoiled.

Cohen said that the results showed "that students aren't interested in giving governing bodies such as SSM U and the Board of Governors a mandate to inter­ fere with the DPS. It's n<jt fair, it's not legal, and it's not going to fly with students."

Choy congratulated the DPS "Yes" committee, but said that the DPS's autonomy w as never in jeopardy. "[The DPS's] fear that it could be w as of their own doing," she said, "since they placed that referendum before the undergraduate electorate." ■

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news NEWS

SPECIAL

Student activism: 2 0 0 4 in review

espite its reputation for apathy, M cGill has no shortage of stu­ dent-led movements. In terms of success, 2 0 0 4 was a year of ups and downs. The Tribune checks in on the progress stu­ dents have made, their victories and failures, and looks ahead to the next challenges and how you can get involved.

D

Cafeterias Since its revival last spring, the crusade against the corporatiza­ tion of campus cafeterias has been a smashing success. The achieve­ ments of the Coalition for Action on Food Services prove that SSMUshies can do more than come up with cute acronyms. To wit: • After organizing a boycott of Chartwells-operated cafeterias and collecting 7 ,5 0 0 signatures on a petition, C A FS members man­ aged to delay the planned tendering of management contracts last M ay for a period of one year.

• Vice-Principal Administration and Finance Morty Yalovsky also promised to establish a Dining at M cGill advisory committee.

• When by October the advisory committee still had yet to materialize, C A FS successfully renewed pressure on the administra­ tion. One caveat: Yalovsky handpicked the three students who sit on the committee.

• At the December 1 Senate meeting, Yalovsky backed off on an earlier decision not to release the committees report until announc­ ing his own conclusions in February.

• At the same meeting, Arts Senator M ax Reed suggested that Senate create a permanent Food Services committee. Thanks to some behind-the-scenes lobbying of faculty senators, Reed's proposal mor­ phed into the stunning creation of a committee to oversee all of Ancillary Services, which in addition to Food Services controls park­ ing and the printing of coursepacks.

One glaring miss worth noting is Septembers secretive transfer of the M cGill Bookstore café to Chartwells management, making this the most intrusive act Ancillary Services has taken yet against student interests.

Get involved: To learn more about CAFS, contact Celia Kutz at celia.kutz@mail.mcgill.ca —Jennifer Jett

Tumitin.com The tug of w ar between students and the administration over pla­ giarism-detection software like Turnitin.com is resolved, at least for now—and students came out more or less on top. Notable develop­ ments in the past year include (1) the university's decision last spring to grade Jesse Rosenfeld's assignments—which originally received failing grades because he refused to submit them to Turnitin.com, (2) Denise Brunsdon's failure at a follow-up attempt, and (3) student protests at Senate last M arch, which resulted in the controversial pol­ icy being sent back to the Committee on Student Affairs.

After another six months of study, the C S A made a new series of recommendations to Senate in November. They included provid­ ing alternatives through which students could prove the authenticity of their work and a recommendation to "review the use of text-matching software two years after the start of the contract" with any text-match­ ing company. The Senate approved these C S A recommendations on December 1 as part of a comprehensive plagiarism-detection policy.

At that same meeting, however, student senators who proposed amendments to make the new policy even more student-friendly were rebuffed. At least two issues remain unaddressed in the new policy: First, students will not always be notified if instructors or TA's grading their work submit it to text-matching software, and second, the policy makes no mention of obtaining a valid external legal opinion on any text-matching software the university uses—which would be one w ay of ensuring that students' intellectual property rights are protected.

G et involved: Contact SSM U A cadem ic Research Commissioner Tamreez Inam at arc@ssmu.mcgill.ca —M a x Shapiro

Tuition Be very, v e ry . nervous. Although the lO y e a r freeze on in­ province tuition remains intact, international M cGill students saw their tuition rise by eight per cent over last year. But that's not all: M cGill charges international students more than the highest amount permitted

by Quebec. Students also returned to campus to find that the province had converted $ 103-million in financial aid from grants to more bur­ densome loans. A November 10 protest against the cuts created momentum, but at the Quebec Liberal convention the following week Education Minister Pierre Reid watered down the Young Liberals' sym­ pathetic motion. Tuition is an issue that stirs strong emotions: SSMU Vice-President Community and Government Daniel Friedlaender received a pie in the face for daring to suggest that tuition be pegged to the inflation rate. The future looks gloomy: Quebec Premier Jean Charest recently announced that he will lift the tuition freeze if he is reelected. "Things are going well in terms of our actions," said Nick Vikander, an executive of la Federation étudiante universitaire du Québec, which organized the protest. "But clearly w e haven't accom­ plished our goal yet."

Get involved: Contact Daniel Friedlaender at 3 9 8 -67 9 8 .

—Jordan Safer

Board of Governors This is an example of SSMU not playing well with others. The words "Board of Governors" don't exactly inspire enthusiasm among students, but the university's highest decision-making body is undergo­ ing drastic downsizing that could leave students at a disadvantage, and SSM U negotiated poorly. W hile SSM U executives went it alone during discussions in May, the Macdonald Campus Students' Society and Post-Graduate Students' Society teamed up to protect their own interests. The result: the M C S S and PGSS presidents retained their important voice-only seats, while the SSM U presidential seat was eliminated.

Ding! Round one.

Last semester was consumed by a catfight between SSMU act­ ing President Andrew Bryan and Board representative Matthew Howatt, each vying for SSMU's remaining seat. The rush to put Bryan back on BoG led to an embarrassing performance at the November meeting, where Howatt's arguments in favor of the change failed mis­ erably. The attempt to replace Howatt halfway through the year was later overruled by SSMU's own Judicial Board.

Ding! Round two.

Meanwhile, undergraduate students are in danger of losing the one seat allotted to students on the Board's increasingly powerful executive committee—it could easily go to M C S S or PGSS. Get involved: The next Board of Governors meeting is February 7 at 4pm. The location is undetermined.

—Jennifer Jett

Get involved: Contact the Grass Roots Association for Student Power at grasp@lists.riseup.net —Laura Saba

Protests on campus Student protests are not allowed on campus. O r are they?

Much has been made of this issue, but the fact remains that there is no clear-cut policy on political rallies on campus. After students holding a rally last year in support of equal access to education were told they could not gather on campus because of a ban on political rallies, SSMU executives looked into the issue and found no such pol­ icy, despite former Principal Bernard Shapiro's boast to the national press that he had put this ban in place, and that he regularly enforced it. A university Senate ad hoc committee was subsequently struck to research the issue and create a definitive policy.

Last May, the committee came back with some provisional rec­ ommendations. Up to 2 5 students can assemble on the Arts Building steps for vigils and other such events. The Three Bares area on Lower Campus can be used for rallies comprising up to 2 5 0 students, while protests of more than 2 5 0 students will be asked to move to rue McTavish.

M cGill Security Services is responsible for assessing the security risk of each event, and groups must obtain a city permit for events held on rue McTavish. However, who will be responsible for the secu­ rity or permit costs has yet to be determined.

Some would argue that the issue at hand is the restriction on free speech and not the security costs. However, M cG ill students did not show much interest in their right to free speech at the November 10 protest against the provincial government's cuts to financial aid. Out of 1 0 ,0 0 0 Quebec students who turned out on that day, only an esti­ mated 2 0 0 were M cG ill students. Before the committee comes up with a permanent policy on political events, M cG ill students must decide whether their right to free speech on their own campus is important to them and make themselves heard accordingly. Time is running out, and McGill's notoriously apathetic students might soon wake up to find that the mythical ban has become a reality.

Get involved: Contact your student senator for an update on the ongoing process.

—Laura Saba

Environmentalism

The question of whether M cGill is committed to becoming an environmentallyfriendly campus has been flying around all semester, and nobody can agree on the answer. The administration insists that Room-booking and prayer space it is making progress, but students worry that real change is slow.

The Muslim Students' Association has not been feeling too wel­ Which side is correct? You be the judge: The Senate Sub-com­ come at M cGill lately. At the end of last year, the group w as told that mittee on the Environment has come up with a number of initiatives the Peterson Hall space they have used for daily prayers for the past designed to make M cG ill more green-conscious. A new Green two years is needed for classes and that the university will not provide Building Task Force is researching building projects. The new Health them with an alternative. Come May, AASA's lease on the basement Sciences Complex has been registered with the C anad a Green room will expire and Muslim students will have no place to pray Building Council, and will be built with environmental principles in unless they find a space off-campus, something, the group says it can­ mind. The rectoverso campaign made progress, having passed not afford. The SSM U and the PGSS councils have both passed unan­ unanimously at the November 8 meeting of the S C E . The policy now imous motions calling on the university to provide M SA with a space, must be presented to Senate for approval before it can be implement­ but the administration says that it is SSMU's responsibility. MSA's only ed. option is to seek private assistance in securing a space off-campus.

The bikeshare initiative stalled due to the administration's wor­ It is all well and good to be shocked and appalled at the uni­ ries about liability. A recycling initiative has been designed to facili­ versity's stance, but this issue is not just about being indignant on the tate the exchange of electronic equipment between departments at MSA's behalf. Students must help M SA pull together concrete options M cG ill. If successful, it will be a useful step toward reducing consump­ to present to the university if they are to receive anything in return. This tion, said SSM U Environmental Commissioner Kim D'Souza. is not the first example of the M SA being at odds with McGill's admin­ Expansion of. recycling facilities is also underway (but some recycla­ istration. Two years ago, the student group found itself paying higherble materials have been known to end up at the dump). Mini recy­ than-usual security fees when booking campus rooms for their events. cling bins have been purchased for office workers to temporarily store When they asked why, they were told that, because they were a recycling and empty into the larger building bins when full. Many Middle Eastern group, their events could become heated and thus more far-reaching environmental policies have been planned, but the required more security. Over the following summer, members of M SA administration is taking its time implementing them. met with M cG ill Security Services M anager Louise Savard, who pri­ "I would certainly like to see things happen more proactively vately apologized to those members and issued a partial refund. and faster," D'Souza said, "but I can't complain about [the adminis­ However, M SA did not receive an official apology from the universi­ tration's] receptivity." ty for the discriminatory fee, and to date there is no definitive policy ' G et involved: Contact Greening M cG ill at on assessing security fees. Had students raised'more concern over this greeningmcgill@yahoo.ca issue, the policy might have materialized.

—Christine Cullen

CITY

the mcgill tribune j 5.1.05 | news

NEWS

Price of public transit rising Bus and metro fares get higher still USA VARANO Commuting to and from M cGill will cost a little more this year.

January 1 brought a routine increase to public transit fares. The cost of a reduced fare monthly transit pass in 2 0 0 5 is $ 3 2 .5 0 , up $ 1 .5 0 over the previous rate. Regular adult monthly passes, at $ 6 1 , are $ 2 more expensive than they were last month.

Full-time students aged 1 8 to 2 5 are eligible for a Carte Privilège, which entitles them to reduced fare monthly passes. They must pay full fare, however, for individual tickets. Regular fare tickets were spared an increase and continue to cost $ 2 .5 0 each.

Although each year consistently brings higher transit fares, some dissatis­ fied commuters complain that prices mount but services do not improve. "[The bus I take to work] comes every half an hour, and sometimes never," said Eugene Syriani, U2 Math and Computer Science. "It happens, not often, but many times."

Spokespeople for the Société de Transport de Montréal were unavailable to comment qn the rising fares.

A coalition of Montreal student asso­ ciations, which circulated a petition and held a press conference in front of city hall last year, unsuccessfully pushed to have the transit discount extended to students over 25 .

Post-Graduate Students' Society VicePresident (External] Ahmed Abu Sofia said that PGSS will renew pressure on the STM to reduce transit fares for students who do not meet the criteria for a Carte Privilège.

"W e will try to focus on the 2 5 years old age barrier and get the reduced fare for all students," he said.

He said that many students are already struggling as a result of provincial government cuts to financial aid and tuition hikes.

"To the majority of PGSS members, the public transit is too expensive," he said.

"A big portion of our members are more than 2 5 years old and yet they are not eligible for the reduced fare. W hen stu­ dents turn 2 5 they do not become sudden­ ly richer."

Kim D'Souza, Students' Society envi­ ronmental commissioner, said that while a larger fare hike might have encouraged

of

The Master of Financial Economics Program at the University

F IN A N C IA L

between the Department of Economics and the Rotman School

M A S T E R

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of Toronto is a small enrollment, collaborative program of Management. The Program equips talented students with the tools required for successful careers in the financial sector by merging the theoretical, analytical and quantitative components of an MA in Economics with the practical and applied case-based studies of MBA finance courses.

The MFE program is at the forefront of the new trend towards increased specialization in graduate programs. In addition to the core course requirements, students are able to choose electives from both economics and management to individualize their * program and more closely match it with their career objectives.

MFE graduates have been employed in a variety of areas in the financial system including: banking, economic research, portfolio management, risk management, consulting and the

DAVE BRODKEY

Now you'll pay more to wait. non-environmentqlly friendly behaviour among students, public transit will likely still be the most convenient w a y for many to commute.

"If we're lucky the fare hike might even lead more students to walk, bike, or skate while the weather is good," he said.

"However, I do think public transit is too expensive for students, so the rising cost is extremely unfortunate."

Even as transit fares rise, commuters in Montreal still pay less than their region­ al counterparts. Eligible students in longueuil,- on the South Shore, rr^ist set aside $ 5 1 .5 0 per month to use local pub­ lic transportation. In Laval, north of Montreal, local public transit comes at a similar cost, with the same type of student pass amounting to $ 5 2 .5 0 . A Longueuil or Laval transit pass for travel in additional zones, such as Montreal—necessary for many suburban students who attend M cG ill, is less affordable—costing $ 7 5 .5 0 per month.

When compared to a neighbouring Canadian metropolis, even these fares seem cheap. A monthly transit pass in Toronto, which does not offer a student dis­ count beyond high school, costs $98.75. ■ Convinced that all M cG ill students live in the Ghetto? Afraid not. An overview of the commuting habits o f members of the M cG ill community who participated in a survey last year can be found, in French: w w w .upload.m cgill.ca/rethink/Resultatsp reliminaires.pdf.

public sector.

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Applicants must have completed or be in the final year of completing a four-year or Honours Degree in an undergraduate program. Preference will be given to applicants who have completed advanced level courses in economics, mathematics, commerce and statistics.

Application deadline: February 1, 2005 For additional program, admission and application

Master of Financial Economics Program

information, please visit the MFE W eb site or contact the

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W h a t is the

M cGILL UNDERGRADUATE STUDENT FUND? Through a student referendum In M arch 2 0 0 4 we, the undergraduate stu­ dents, d e c id e d to continue the long established tradition of making donations to the University where we n e e d if the most. As a result, the McGill Undergraduate Student Fund (MUSF) com bines several fees co llected by the Students' Society of McGill University (SSMU) on behalf of various McGill organizations to ad d ress three n e e d s on cam pus* better libraries, more student bursaries an d support for cam pus-w ide initiatives.

McGill Alumni donors m atch the SSMU Bursary an d Library Improvement Fund dollars, doubling the im pact of student dollars on cam pus, a s well a s donate $ 5 ,0 0 0 towards the SSMU C am p u s Life Fund!

Disturbing the silence

YASEMIN EMORY

A wireless service is now available to certain cell phone users in five metro stations. Bell C an ad a and Telus Mobility subscribers may use their cell phones in the indoor areas of the Berri-UQAM, Saint-Laurent, Place-des-Arts, M cG ill, and Peel stations, including tunnels and platforms. These stations form a down­ town corridor and are used by 88 per cent of subway passengers. in January 2 0 0 3 , Bell C an ad a became the exclusive provider of the Société de transport de Montréal's telecommunications services for the next 10 years. Bell extended its digital IX next generation wireless telephone net­ work to selected metro stations as part

of a pilot project.

"In a survey conducted by Bell C anad a at the time w e did the pilot, 84 per cent of riders noted that mobile phone service in the subway would be beneficial," said Nathalie Moreau, associate director of media relations at Bell C anada.

"Metro users ranked convenience and making the best use of their travel time as two major benefits. With under­ ground coverage, they can check voicemail, send and receive text messages, continue phone conversations, or play their favourite mobile games."

Not everyone is as positive.

"I think that it's kind of a nuisance to have a cell phone in the metro unless there's an emergency," said M cGill graduate student John Dick.

As a Rogers AT&T wireless user, he also thinks it is unfair that the wireless service w as not extended to all carriers.

Bell C anad a is contemplating an expan­ sion of its wireless service to all stations, which would make the STM one of the first transportation corporations in the world to offer full wireless service. ■ —Lauren Consky

The MUSF donations total $19 per sem ester which is broke up into its constituent parts a s follows* * SSMU Bursary Fund: * SSMU Library Improvement Fund* * SSMU C am p u s Life Fund,

$8.50 FT/ $4.25 PT per semester $8.50 FT/ $4.25 PT per sem ester $ 2 .0 0 FT/ $ 1 .0 0 PT per semester

What Is an Opt-out?

This is a process by which, if you so ch o o se not to support the ab o ve fees, you m ay ch o o se to have these fees credited b a c k to you on your McGill fee statement.

___________

What Do I have to do?

All SSMU m em bers (undergraduate students) are eligible for this opt-out. This Opt-out is valid for the 2 0 0 4 - 2 0 0 5 a c a d e m ic year (both semesters).

G o to Room 1203 in the Brown Student Services Building (next to the SSMU offices) between lO a m and 4pm :

January 17th - January 21st, 2005

Bring your student I.D.!

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The Man Who Learned to Fall A feature documemar?

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G a rry S e it e )

Thursday January 13, 2005, 7PM Presbyterian College, 3495 University Street

The Faculty of Religious Studies is very pleased to invite you for the screening of the movie about Philip Simmons: “ T h e M a n W h o L e a r n e d t o F a l l ” by Garry Beitei

Philip Simmons, a thirty five year old English Professor with two young children and a future full of promise, developed Lou Gehrig's disease, then for ten years experienced life being ladled out of his body "one teaspoon at a time.” Phil died on July 27th, 2002, leaving us a great gift, his award winning book, "Learning to Fall: the Blessings of an Imperfect Life."

NIALL MACKAY ROBERTS Feeling burdened by understaffing and left behind in terms of training and updating -their skills, a number of M cG ill librarians brought their griev­ ances to December 10 meetings of the Senior Management Group of M cGill Libraries.

The complaints come as addition­ al funds have been allocated toward improvements in collections and in elec­ tronic resources. The university has also agreed to index future funding to infla­ tion. These improvements are tied specifically to the staff difficulties, as they increase library resources and demands, said Deputy Provost and C h ief Information O fficer Anthony M asi.

The S M G , which includes one representative from each of the libraries, meets regularly with M asi to discuss staff concerns and the state of library services.

"Change usually creates some anxieties in people, and M cG ill libraries have undergone massive change in the last four years," he said.

"W e have enhanced our collections and improved access to them, and now w e have to rethink, redesign, and reorganize the services provided, including how w e staff for them and how w e train staff to provide them."

M any librarians agree with Masi on the source of the current tensions, but some responded skeptically to his

"The Man Who Learned to Fall" is an unforgettable film featuring Phil, his family and the odyssey they shared over his final months of life. Lovingly crafted by gifted Montreal filmmaker Garry Beitei, the film, like Phil's book, is "generous and genuine, like water from a deep well, halfway between a meditation and a dance", "an act of grace".

Fo r any information, co n tact Dr. G aëlle F ia s s e (gaelle.fiasse@ m cg ill.ca)

characterization of current services.

"I assume that [Masi] meant we would have to put resources in this area to offer better service to our users," said John Hobbins, who represents the Law Library in the S M G . "I gather that... this w as interpreted by some as a criticism of existing service and drew a negative reaction."

Hobbins sees the problem as one of librarians' status and career develop­ ment, while M asi summarized the librarians' complaints as belonging to one of two broad categories. The first includes calls for a general staffing plan for the library system, including new employment to match the recent increase in resources. The second involves demands for revised training for all categories of library em p lo yeeacademic or non-academic.

"Simply put, over the last five years, w e have not been able to hire entiylevel librarians into a category that offers a career path. Indeed, well over a quarter of our librarian staff are now in this nebulous 'library profession­ al' category, and w e are all a bit demoralized," Hobbins said.

Librarians and administrators remain involved in drafting new regula­ tions aimed at better incorporating employee concerns, but, according to Tfoobins, "it has been a long, painful, and tortuous process."

A new hope?

The libraries now aw ait the arrival of Janine Schmidt, their new director as

of February 1, formerly a university librarian in Australia.

Upon Schmidt's arrival, M asi expects her work to consist largely of continued adjustments to staffing.

"W e will work to make sure serv­ ices, including staff numbers and staff training, are continually improved to match the gains w e have made in col­ lections and access," he said.

Hobbins struck an equally hopeful tone for Schmidt's arrival, and for work on upcoming staffing challenges.

"I imagine she would be all in favour of professional development for all levels of staff—academic and nonacadem ic—with a view to enhancing service levels," he said. "Masi seems to espouse this as well."

However, on the narrower issue of librarians' status, Hobbins remains somewhat more guarded about the future.

"In North American universities, librarians are generally members of the academic staff, while this appears not to be the case in’Australia. I would not, therefore, expect [Schmidt] to have any great sympathy for our academ ic librar­ ian difficulties," he said. "If she has any role on the issue, it would probably be to support the administrative position in case of disagreement."

M asi has also pledged to address employee complaints of physical dete­ rioration in M cG ill libraries, though he notes that no format staff grievances have ever been submitted outside the S M G discussions on any matter. ■

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BLACHER AND GLASROT FAMILIES MEMORIAL AWARD FOR HOLOCAUST RESEARCH

A T T E N T IO N :: FO F O RR EIG N STUDENTS ATTENTION

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stablished in 2000 by Mr. and Mrs. josef Glasrot, survivors of the Holocaust and residents of Montreal. Open to any student at McGill University, the award is presented for excellence in research in Holocaust and related studies, and particularly on the history of the ghettos of Warsaw and Kovno (Kaunas). Essays prepared in any course or independent research may be considered. The award is administered by the Department of Jewish Studies in cooperation with the Jewish Community Foundation.

The award will be presented during the Closing Exercises of the Department of Jewish Studies in June, 2005 . The value of the Biacher and Glasrot Families Memorial Award is $ 1000 .

E

• The com petition is open to undergraduate and graduate students at McGill University.

• Students m ust subm it 2 typed copies of their essays together with full contact inform ation.

• Essays can be based on primary or secondary m aterials and w ork in all related disciplines w ill be considered.

• Essay subm issions m ust reach the Departm ent of Jewish Studies Office, 3438 McTavish Street, no later than April 13, 2005.

the mcgill tribune | 5.1.05 | news

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Tsunami hits close to home

In the fa c e of disaster

Students wait for news on families in South Asia JENNIFER JETT The earthquake and tsunami that have resulted in more than 1 4 0 ,0 0 0 deaths happened on the other side of the world, but their effects reach across the globe.

N azly Hanum and Amirul Hadi were both lecturers in Indonesia who came to graduate school at M cGill through the Indonesia Project, a development and exchange program that partners M cG ill with Indonesian State Institutes of Islamic Studies, known as lAINs. Hanum met Hadi while pursuing a degree in Islamic Studies—they married in Thomson House in Indonesian costume. Hanum and Hadi later returned to their IAIN in the province of Aceh. Although Hadi sur­ vived the tsunami, Hanum and her two children were killed.

Indonesia w as the hardest hit of 1 2 African and south Asian countries—among them India, Thailand, Sri Lanka, and Somalia. Six other Indonesian Project gradu­ ates have been found alive, while the fates of five remain unknown. Many students currently at M cGill have lost or are missing family and friends, said W endy Allen, direc­ tor of the Indonesian Project.

"This is a really terrible blow for them, being so far aw ay from their country and so concerned about this dis­ aster, and so much wanting to help in the relief effort and the rebuilding," said Allen, who attended Hanum's wed­ ding.

Like Hanum, 33year-old Alsiga is from the city of Medan in northern Sumatra. The graduate student in Library and Information Studies spent days waiting for news about relatives in Aceh.

"I was very worried about them because I couldn't contact them," said Alsiga, who goes by one name.

"Somebody told me that they weren't in [the] refugee camp, and that made me very worried."

On December 2 9 , she found out they had all sur­ vived and were in a refugee camp.

"M y brother-in-law swam in the water carrying his daughter," Alsiga said, while her sister-in-law w as stuck in a tree.

Munasprianto Ramli's home in western Sumatra w as relatively unaffected, but he is concerned for friends elsewhere.

"I lost contact with some of my friends from the tsunami area," said Ramli, a 26year-old graduate stu­ dent in Curriculum Studies. "I don't know whether they are missing or have gone."

After the tsunami, Alsiga, Ramli and other members

of the Indonesian Students Association in Montreal (PERMIKA) founded Indonesia Mourns, which carries the motto, "W e care, we share, in the darkness—light on."

The group is selling black poppies with white centres, which Ramli said symbolize the crisis.

"Even though some people in Aceh are struggling to survive the tsunami, there is still hope for tomorrow," he said.

On Friday, members distributed 3 0 0 flyers and 2 5 0 flowers on rue Ste.-Catherine to raise money and awareness. The Indonesian community in Montreal has already collected more than $ 2 0 ,0 0 0 .

"The students are amazingly resourceful," Allen said. "They're meeting at one of the-students' apartments everyday, they're organizing fundraising events... so it also works for their own grief."

Although M cGill had not been actively working with the Aceh IAIN, Allen said she keeps in touch with graduates there.

"W e haven't seen any pictures yet, but we imagine that the [Aceh] institution has been destroyed," she said.

"If there were lives lost as well, it will take some time for the institution to be rebuilt and for people to be function­ ing again so it can play its role in higher education in Aceh." ■ Indonesia Mourns, in conjunction with PERMIKA and the United Muslim Students' Association, is holding a fundraising event this Saturday at 5pm in the cafeteria on the seventh floor o f Concordia University's Hall Building, 1455 boulevard de Maisonneuve. Tickets are $ 10. For more information or to purchase a black poppy, e-mail indonesiamourns@yahoo.ca or call 2864237.

To make a donation to the Indonesian Embassy Relief Fund, send a cheque to TD Canada Trust, Minto Place, 4 2 7 Laurier Avenue, Ottawa, O N , K IR 7 Z I , or to the Indonesian embassy at 5 5 Parkdale Avenue, Ottawa, O N , K I Y 1E5. The account number is 3 2 9 0 5 2 0 9 -1 0 4 .

M cG ill is hosting a ceremony today at 12 :J 5pm in Redpath Hall, followed by a campus-wide moment of silence at 12:30pm . Engineers Without Borders and Habitat for Humanity are among the student groups organizing a "Loonie Line" tomorrow, starting at the Roddick Gates.

The AAcGill International Students' Network and the Economic Students Association are looking for student groups to join their fundraising event, with a goal o f $ 1 0 ,0 0 0 . E-mail misn@ssmu. mcgill.ca.

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W hile w e were out, the Oxford University called—Erin Freeland Ballantyne, an Honours *ï International Development student from Yellowknife, became M cG ill's 1 25th Rhodes Scholar. • Miss Post called—police in Poland collect­ ed E U R 0 8 5 from each person they caught swearing 1 tfJWWÎV over the holidays after complaints that Christmas prepara­ w ji’i . « i p tffK tions were raising stress levels and the amount of foul lan­ iM p m m p * guage used. • The doctor's office called—a M cGill ' À» fh *.-' research team discovered a new w a y to lower body fat and cholesterol levels. Studies have shown that combining exer­ p h v \ S r * « i‘ cise with plant sterols yields more benefits than either of these alone. • Animal Control called—sugar and alcohol factory ’ Hc N m * workers in Sertaozhino, Brazil were terrified by a 19-foot-long anaconda weighing 2 4 0 pounds. A firefighter said that it w as J k \ «h -flC V not too difficult to remove the snake from the factory as it was "too fat" to move very fast. • The Darwin Awards called— à iU 't r rJff police in Saskatoon seized a brand new ambulance when <j> h/fcttycs they caught the 58-year-old ambulance driver soliciting a 1 W *,«« prostitute. • Your mother called—remember to dress warmly this semester. Montreal's lowest recorded temperature was 35 degrees Celsius on January 15, 1 9 5 7 —and that's before the windchill. • A reality check called—Canadian magician James Randi is offering US$1-million to anyone who can " Ih î k-* ft prove supernatural powers or a phenomenon that cannot 1** rtM'se ^ explained scientifically. • Santa Claus called, and he ' wants his means of access back—a burglar in Buenos *' Aires, Argentina tried to enter a woman's house through u Si'-t ÎMIR fW * the chimney, but firefighters had to knock it down when !!» ,« t i he got stuck inside. ■ Ï Sources: ananova.com, cb c.ca , cnn.com,

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McGil1 Newswire, The Weather Network

Only a bastard w ouldn't give to tsunami victims REBECCA GRABER

"There is nothing out there. " -A helicopter pilot who,flew over the islands near Nicobar, India, saying he could see no traces of villages or houses (from cb c .c a /n e w s). he break w as, as it usually is, too short—barely enough time to make the grueling bus trip home and rest my weary head before embarking upon the return trip. But my quibbles are quite arbitrary in light of what so many are going through at the moment.

I didn't really want to write about the tsunami. I'm supposed to write politi­ cal humour, satire, self-involved ego-masturbatory bullshit, you know? Natural dis­ asters don't fall within my mandate.

However, compared to the devas­ tation wrought by the tsunami, none of the other headlines seem worthy of a second thought. The U.S. is finally reallowing limited cattle exports from C an ad a. W hile I'll be glad to see smil­ ing Canadian cowboys again (after all, they're much easier to seduce when in good spirits), this news hardly eclipses the photographs of receded coastlines and the images of entire towns washed away.

The disasters specific death toll leaps around elusively—the figures I give you will surely increase. This morning I heard 8 8 ,0 0 0 , while this evening there are conflicting figures of 1 1 7 ,0 0 0 and 1 2 3 ,0 0 0 .

And now, as those, who lost their lives are put back into the earth from whence they came, the survivors—who have lost their families, their communi­ ties, their livelihoods—are in need of help.-Cholera epidemics are predicted, and the death toll is expected to rise as disease, dehydration, and starvation

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rear their heads in the aftermath.

C an ad a is assisting the afflicted countries by providing temporary debt relief, speeding through immigration requests, and donating funds. Ottawa has committed $80-million to date and is flying in relief supplies, while Ontario and Alberta have each already pledged $5-million. British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Manitoba are giving. N ew Brunswick has asked all provincial liquor stores to set up donation boxes to collect for relief efforts—because liquor stores are apparently the social centres of N ew Brunswick.

With a strongly international stu­ dent body, including hundreds of stu­ dents from Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and India, the hardest-hit countries, this disas- ter is surely to have affected the M cGill community directly.

As I sit in my home, safe from tidal waves (if not waves of post-party nau­ sea), I remind myself that I am lucky. And I am donating, because it is all I can do, and every little bit helps. M y beer money will find itself a more humanitarian use this week. It would be cool if yours did too. ■ Until January 1 1, the government of Canada is matching donations citizens make to non-governmental organizations offering tsunami relief, including the Canadian Red Cross (w w w .red cro ss.caJ, Oxfam C anada (www.oxfam.caJ, and U N IC EF C anada ^wvw. unicef.caj.

NEWS

Arts loses out on research money Humanities and social sciences bear the brunt of recent cuts KEVIN AFSHARI Research in the humanities and social sciences at M cG ill is not receiving adequate support due to budget cuts and policy changes, according to a uni­ versity senator representing the Faculty of Arts. Associate Dean of Arts (Research and Graduate Studies) John G alaty raised the issue at a ‘recent Senate meet­ ing.

"The issue arose because, in a num­ ber of different offices of the university, some decisions were made that impact­ ed negatively on the social sciences and humanities research sector here at M cG ill," he said. "My question w as trying to alert people and bring together that information in one place.”

He said there were several changes in policy or allocation of funds that he felt were occurring, whether intentionally or not, to the detriment of research in the humanities and social sciences.

One such cut affected the formula for research time stipends, which enables researchers to take time off from teach­ ing.

G alaty said that the program is important because professors in the facul­ ties of Arts, Education, and Management teach many classes and the possibility of reducing their workloads by one to three courses significantly facilitates their research. He said that the cuts were dra­ matically hurting this program.

Another area suffering a budget cut w as the conference support program, which provides money that helps profes­ sors to bring conferences to M cGill.

Dean of Graduate Studies Martha C rago does not believe that research in the humanities and social sciences fields is at a disadvantage.

"When one considers overall fund­ ing for graduate students from the M cGill operating budget, the Faculty of Arts has received differential funding, which is to say more relative to the number of stu­ dents than any other faculty," she said in a letter to Galaty.

Crago said that from 2 0 0 3 to 2 0 0 4 , Arts had 1 6 .3 per cent of the graduate students at M cG ill but received 2 7 . 9 per cent of the M cGill Graduate Studies Fellowships.

G alaty also said that the w ay spe­

cial fellowship funding w as being allo­ cated primarily to science students w as a problem last spring.

"Already at the level of funding in Quebec and C an ad a, there is a disequi­ librium," he said. "There is a much high­ er rate of funding in the sciences than the social sciences, so that money [is] allo­ cated primarily to the science students...

I was bringing to [Senate's] attention that there could be another means of allocat­ ing such funds which would be more equitable in terms of the need and the number of students."

Despite some of the concerns G alaty has raised, he expressed appre­ ciation for the university's responsiveness.

Additional fellowship money will be allo­ cated in the w a y that the rest of the fel­ lowship money is distributed, he said, therefore removing that as an issue.

In addition, seminar programs have not been cut to the extent that had been feared. Vice-Principal (Research) Jacques Hurtubise is organizing a group in the social sciences and humanities that aims to create a more comprehensive and integrated program of special support for these fields. ■

CAMPUS RECREATION

INTRAMURAL SPORTS SPO RT

DIVISION

REGISTRATION DATES

CO ST

NUM BER OF P LA Y ER S TO R EG IST ER

GAM E DAYS

LOCATION

Fieldhouse A &B

BALL HOCKEY

MEN A & B WOMEN A & B

$100.00 per team

November 29, 9:00 to January 13,17:00

8

Monday, Tuesday & Sunday

BASKETBALL

MEN A, B & C WOMEN A & B

$100.00 per team

November 29, 9:00 to January 13,17:00

8

Tuesday to Friday & Sunday

INDOOR SOCCER

MEN A & B WOMEN A & B C0-REC A & B

$100.00 per team

November 29, 9:00 to January 13,17:00

10 5 Men & 5 Women

Monday to Thursday, Saturday & Sunday

Fieldhouse C&D

INNERTUBE WATERP0L0

CO-REC A &B

$100.00 per team

November 29, 9:00 to January 13,17:00

5 Men & 5 Women

Saturday & Sunday

Currie Pool

VOLLEYBALL

MEN A & B WOMEN A & B CO-REC A & B

$100.00 per team

November 29, 9:00 to January 13,17:00

8 4 Men & 4 Women

Monday, Wednesday &Thursday

VOLLEYBALL

CO-REC

$30.00 per team

TBA

2 Men & 2 Women

TBA

(4 on 4 Tournament)

Gymnasium 1 &2

Gymnasium 1 &2 Fieldhouse A & B Gymnasium 1 &2

P LEA S E NOTE THAT REGISTRATIO N D EA D LIN ES A R E STR ICTLY EN FO RCED - SP A C E IN M OST SPORTS IS LIM ITED - R EG IST ER E A R L Y !

Cross Country Ski & Snowshoe Equipment Rentals!

PAY-AS-YOUGO-FITNESS

Cross Country Ski and Snowshoe equipment is available for rent by McGill Students, Sports Complex Members, Faculty and Staff.

JANUARY 1 0 - MAY 1, 2005

Step

Mon.

17h00-17h55

Dance Studio

Wed.

17h00-17h55

Dance Studio

Sat.

11 h00-11h55

Aerobics Rm.

Tae Box

Tues.

17h00-17h55

Aerobics Rm.

Boot Camp

Thurs.

17h00-17h55

Aerobics Rm.

Spin

Tues.

18h 10-18h55

Thurs.

18h 10-18h55

Activity Rm.

Power Yoga

Fri.

16h 15-17h 10

Aerobics Rm.

Aerobics

Sun.

12h00-12h55

Aerobics Rm.

Activity Rm.

HOURS OF OPERATION Monday through Sunday 10h30 - 21h00 RENTAL RATES_____________ J __________ Overnight

2 Nights

3 Nights

4 Nights

Week

Poles

$2.00

$3.00

$4.00

$5.00

$6.00

$7.00

Boots

$4.00

$5.00

$6.00

$7.00

$8.00

$9.00

Skis

$5.00

$7.00

$9.00

$11.00

$15.00

$19.00

$12.00

$15.00

$20.00

$25.00

$30.00

$25.00

$30.00

Ski Package $10.00 Snowshoes

$10.00

$12.00

$15.00

$20.00

A ll prices are ta x included â&#x20AC;¢ R ental fees m ust be paid a t th e C lie n t S e rvice O ffic e (G -20C) o f th e Sports Com plex. Eq u ip m e n t w ill be issued upon presentatio n o f th e rental receipt a t th e Squash Room (B -204).

STUDY BREAK L PACKAGE F From February 18, 2005 to February 28, 2005

m l McGill ATHLETICS

IN F O R M A T IO N : 3 9 8 - 7 0 1 I

w

N T E

4

KIDS' CORNER Olympic Way - White (3 - 1 4 yrs) White Adv (3 - 1 4 yrs) Green (3 - 1 4 yrs) Blue (3 - 1 4 yrs) Bronze (3 - 1 4 yrs) Silver (3 - 1 4 yrs) Gold ( 3 - 1 4 yrs)

W KS

CO ST

D A Y & T IM E

.....

10:30-11:15

Saturday

____________ I 8

35.64/53.03

CO U RSE

(Level 1 Beqirm er) (Level 2 & 3 Interm ed iate) Swim (Private) Swim (Sem i-Private)

Swim Fit

11:15-12:00

Saturday

Kickboxing - Savate il 18:30-19:25 11:15-12:10 18:30-19:25 11:15 12:10

18:30-19:25

15.65/20.00 11.30/1S.65 31.30/48.68

W ednesday Sunday, M arch 20

18:30-19:25 9hOO-17hOO

60.85/69.54

Moo Kwang Tae Kwon Do 1

8

35.64/53.03

M onday Saturday W ednesday Saturday by ap pointm ent by ap pointm ent Tues & Thurs

Flamenco Hip Hop Irish Dance Jazz Intro 1 & II Jazz inter II & Ml Latin Dance SocISTUance Swing Dance - Lindy Hop 1 Swing Dance - Lindy Hop II

Shaolin

1/2 hr ~T7Thr 8

Cardio JamT Mid Cutz Step & Pump Step & Sweat Spin Spin & Trim Spin - Race & Pace Step Ixtreme Tae Box

Friday Tuesday W ednesday W ednesday Tuesday Friday Thursday Tues & Thurs Tues & Thurs M onday Tuesday Tuesday Thursday Thursday

Badminton Curling Fencing 1

10 10

16:30-18:25 ......17:00-17:55 17:00-17:55 19:00-20:25 18:00-18:55 18:00-18:55 20:00-21:30 T T ü K P ra îS l 18:30-19:55 19:00-20:25 19:00-20:25 20:30-21:55 18:00-18:55 19:00-19:55

71.28/93.01 31,30/53:03 31.30/53.03 45721/66.94 3 0 5 / 5 3 .0 3 31.30/53.03 39.99/61.72 ~ S21® T505 62.59/106.05 31.30/48,68

W iô 10 10 10 10 8

31.30/48.68 31.30/53.03 31.30/53.63

10 10

17:00-17:55 12:00-12:55 12:00-12:55 18:00-18:55 18:30-19:25 16:00-16:55 18:30-19:25 18:00-18:55 13:30-14:25 08:00-08:55 08:00-08:45 18:00-19:25 19:1Ô-T9:5?

16:30-17:25 17:30-18:25

31.3CW4.76 31.30/74.76 15 65/37.38 59.98/125.18

10 10 10 10

39.99/83.45 59.98/125.18 31.30/74.76 39.99/83.45 39.99/83.45 62.59/106.05 78.25/121.70 -~ 5I5W ÏÏSëT55 ~ ~ 3§M 8SÆ 59.98/125.18

10 1Ô 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10

17:00-17:55 11:00-11:55 17:00-17:55 ......17:0Ô-T?~S5 12:00-12:55 18:10-18:55 16:15-17:10

by ap pointm en t M onday W ednesday by ap pointm ent Saturday, Jan u ary 22 ""Sunday, Ja n u ary 23 Sunday, Feb ruary 6 Re-cert CPR (only) Re-cert Standard First Aid with CPR Saturday, Feb ruary 5 H M o n & W ed Hatha Yoga 1 “

Fitness Appraisal Fitness Instructor Training Personal Trainer Development Private Weight Training CPRIStandard First Aid

Tues & Thurs

Pilâtes Pilâtes Pilâtes I & Il Power Yoga Tai Chi

M on & W ed Tues & Thurs Tuesday Thursday Friday M on & W ed Tues & Thurs Thursday

19:00-22:00 19:00-22:00 09:00-19:00 12h00-18h00 09:00-17:00 û8:(«M5M5

12:00-12:55 18:15-19:25 19:30-20:40 08:00-08:55 16:00-17:10 17:15-18:25 18:30-19:40 17:00-18:10 18:30-19:40 13:00-14:15 ......13:00-14:15 14:30-15:45 13:00-13:55 17:00-17:55 20:00-21:25

Capoeira - Begins Ja n u ary 12 Judo Karatedo Kendo

Tuesday & Friday M o n., W ed ., & Fri. M onday & W ednesday ' M onday & W ednesday Tuesday & Saturday

18:00-19:55 18:00-20:55 16:30-17:55 17:30-19:25 19:30-21:25 20:00-21:55 09:00-10:55

Squash (Private) Tennis Intro

S 2 T Î7 /IT 3 9

Tennis Advanced

$2.17/57.39 $2.17/57.39 S 2 .17/57.39

Tennis (P rivate ) Tennis (Sem i-Private) 1 14 14 1 1

39.99/44.34 178.20/208.62 178.20/208.62 35.64/39.99 69.54/78.24 34.77/43.46 52.16/60.85 29.56/64.33 29.56/64.33 46.94/90.41 37.38W 2.15 29.56/64.33 37.38W 2.15 37.38W 2.15 37.38W 2.15 37.38W 2.15

1 1

1 47.81/113.00 47.81/113.00

10 10

"""5 5 3 3 7 0 4 3 3

10

M on., W ed ., Fri. Tuesday, Thursday & Friday Tuesday, Thursday & Friday M onday 8 W ednesday

15:30-16:25 21:30-22:25 19:30-20:25 20;60’- 2T;25 18:00-19:25 19:30-20:25

M onday & W ednesday

20:30-21:55

31.30/74.76

10

M onday & W ednesday

20:30-21:55

47.81/91.28

10

M onday Friday Friday Tuesday 8 Thursday Tuesday 8 Th ursday M onday 8 W ednesday M onday & W ednesday Friday Friday W ednesday Saturday Saturday by ap pointm en t by ap pointm en t M onday M onday Tuesday Tuesday W ednesday W ednesday Thursday Thursday Friday Friday Friday Fridav Friday Saturday Sunday M onday Thursday Saturday Sunday bv ap pointm en t M onday Th ursday Fridav M onday W ednesday Fridav Tuesday 8 Thursday Tuesday W ednesday Fridav bv ap pointm en t by ap p o intm en t

13:30-14:25 09:00-09:55 13:00-15:00 08:00-08:55 11:30-12:25 19:00 19:55 20:00-20:55 13:30-14:45 14:45-16:15 15:00-16:15 10:30-11:20 11:30-12:20

23.47/36.51 23.47/36.51 86.94/95.64 39.99/74.76 39.99/74.76

6 6 6 8 8

39.99/74.76 45.20/62.59 53.90/71.29 47.81/65.20 32.17/49.55

8 8 8 8

15.65/20.00 11.30/15.65 21.73/34.78

1/2 hr 1/2 h r 6

21.73/34.78

6

16.52/20.87 28.69/41.73

45 min 6

JQ

31.30/74.76

'

8 10 8 8 8 8 8 8

46.94/68.67 46.94/68.67 46.94/68.67 37.38W 2.15 37.38W 2.15 39.99W 4.76

10 1Ô 10 10 10 8

77.37/120.86

10

68.67/133.87 62.59/106.05 62.59/106.05 65.59/106.05

10 10 10 10

1

16:00-16:45 17:30-18:15 16:45-17:30 17:30-18:15 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:45 16:00-16:45 16:45-17:30 08:30-09:15 09:15-10:00 14:30-15:15 15:15-16:00 16:00-16:45 10:45-11:30 11:30-12:15 16:45-17:30 17:30-18:15 11:30-12:15 12:15-13:00 14:00-14:55 16:00-16:55 09:00-09:55 15:00-15:55 15:00-15:55 11:00-11:55 16:00-16:55 16:00-16:55 14:00-14:55 10:00-10:55

28.69/41.73

57.38/83.46 28.69/41.73

18.25/22.61 13.04/17.39

1 1

22.60/26.95

2

I OUTDOOR PURSUITS Cross Country Skiing Equestrian Ice Climbing Kayaking

g

I MARTIAL ARTS Aikido

Squash inter

Tennis Inter

$2.17/57.39

I FITNESS & WELLNESS

Hatha Yoga II

Skating (Private) Skatino (Sem i-Private) Squash intro

1 M onday & Thursday M onday 8 W ednesday Saturday M on., Wed. & Friday Tuesday & Thursday M on., W ed ., f r i, M onday & W ednesday Tuesday & Thursday Tuesday & Thursday Tuesday & Thursday M onday & W ednesday Tuesday & Thursday M onday & W ednesday M on. & W ed. & Fri.

M onday & W ednesday Saturday Tuesday Thursday Sunday Tuesday & Thursday Friday

TAE BOX BOOT CAMP AEROBICS SPIN YOGA

Fencing il Hockey 1 Hockey II Skating

§

I FITNESS & WELLNESS (PAY-AS-YOU-GO) STEP

W KS

SPORTS

11' 1

1FITNESS & WELLNESS Aerobics - Classic Cardio Body Works Body Design Boot Camp

CO ST

(O ranqe +)

I DANCE

Ballet Belly Dancing

D A Y S T IM E

(W h ite & Y ello w )

Moo Kwang Tae Kwon Do II

(Cardio-Respiratory End urance)

Stroke improvement Recert - National Lifeguard

5

MARTIAL ARTS

____________ 1

Adults Learn To Swim

0

Register in the Client Services Office of the Sports Centre - M onday through Friday 08h30— 19h45. ♦ Registration continues through January 28, 2005, ♦ Non-members registered for courses may use the facility only during their designated class times. • Most classes begin the w eek of January 10, 2005. • Full-time McGill students may register at the member's fee. • Classes will not be held the w eek of study break, and March 25 through March 28, 2005.

Kickboxing Kickboxing - Savate 1

AQUATICS Adults Learn To Swim

0

R E G IS T R A T IO N IN F O R M A T IO N

FITNESS AND RECREATION COURSES CO U RSE

2

Snowshoeing

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opinion

O Molsoix where art thou?

DANIEL C H O D O S

^editorial

Crash course in activism "N obody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.

— Edmund Burke

uring "Reclaim Your Campus W eek" last semester, a student w as spotted running around with a megaphone in search of the principal, screeching, "Heather! W here are you, Heather?" It's doubtful she was listening.

Other students have seen more success in achieving their goals. Here, a few lessons that can be gleaned from student activism in 2 0 0 4 : 1. Be patient. Sometimes it takes a while to see results (ahem, 1 8 years and counting waiting for the university's discrimination and harassment policy). Patience requires dedication. Someone with a half-hearted devotion to his cause may become frustrated if initial results are discourag­ ing. Success depends in part on good timing—depending on the political climate, students and officials may be recep­ tive to different issues.

2. Be willing to compromise. Aside from displaying maturity and a realistic understanding of the circumstances, compromise expands your base by including as many peo­ ple as possible. Compromise is essential for the delicate balancing of multiple parties' needs. Tuitiqn is in part a thorny issue because it involves thjpe powerful and stubborn groups: the provincial government, the university, and stu­ dents.

3. Choose your tactics wisely. Know when to protest and when to stay inside, because one day in the cold will likely not make a difference. When protests are held too often, they become a commonplace, ho-hum occurrence and lose their effectiveness. W hat form the protest takes also matters. One of the best recent examples of a wellplaced protest occurred at a university Senate meeting last March, ,when students in the gallery loudly made their con­ cerns known simply with their silent presence. This particular protest was successful largely because it was aimed direct­ ly at its intended audience. The average student does not skip class to attend Senate (despite the cookie tray sitting outside the door). The gallery in Leacock 2 3 2 is usually spotted with bored-looking student journalists, baked goods in hand. So it must have been intimidating for senators to sit in the oddly shaped room, feeling the eyes of 4 0 student protesters boring into the backs of their heads. It didn't hurt that students were armed with snazz^looking placards, either.

4. Know how to play the game. There is more, to activism than demonstrations and slogans. It also requires less visible networking and face time with people in posi­ tions of power. Students are at a disadvantage here because they lack the time and resources of professional lobbyists.

5. Put someone in charge. Consensus-based decision­ making is 'ideal, but it helps to have someone to take the wheel when others aren't around. The buck has to stop

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somewhere. Organization is much more difficult when peo­ ple are unsure whom to ask for guidance.

6. Articulate your arguments. O nce you get some­ one's attention, you'd better have something intelligent to say. A faculty senator with voting power is more likely to be swayed by thoughtful, reasoned, and above all, polite argu­ ments than by huffing and puffing. Kudos to this year's stu­ dent senators for recognizing this. Put your thoughts in writ­ ing: letters to the editor are an underused activist tool. But watch your, buzzwords and catchphrases. W hile some, replayed over and over again, can become effective ("guilty until proven innocent"), others like "communication" and "accountability" have become meaningless.

7. Advertise, advertise, advertise. Remember last fall's phone-in campaign, urging M N As to return $ 103-million cut from student bursaries over the summer? Probably not.

That's because it was poorly advertised. The best example of savvy advertising took place last year, when Jesse Rosenfeld's crusade against Turnitin.com gained national media attention. Student advocates played their part in per­ suading the university to grade his assignments, but the deciding factors were the G lob e and M ail, C B C , and CNN. 8. Hook 'em while they're young. Think of all that untapped first-year energy wasted at 4Floors. Students sit­ ting at lunch in the Residence dining halls are a captive audience, ripe for indoctrination. Radical Frosh is barely scratching the surface.

9. Make it relevant. This is why CA FS has been suc­ cessful, while efforts to maintain student representation on the Board of Governors have not. Stomach pangs are immediate. They are part of everyday life. The repercus­ sions of Board decisions are not always as easily tangible.

As with Senate, students don't go to Board meetings for kicks. How many students even know about BoG ? Answer: no one outside the circles of campus publications or politics knows or cares who Matthew Howatt is. (For the record, he is the Students' Society's representative to the Board of Governors; well, at least for now.)

How to get students to care? Educate them. Tell them how BoG affects them. BoG , for example, is responsible for that nice new Residence on avenue du Parc—you know, the one that houses 6 0 0 students? BoG equals big, as in bigtime decisions involving millions of our tuition dollars.

10. Make alliances. Again, the CA FS crew wins here, with contingents from the SSM U, Post-Graduate Students' Society, Engineering Undergraduate Society, Law Students' Association, Midnight Kitchen, Organic Food Co-op, inde­ pendent cafeteria owners, and university staff, among many, many others. Combine brainpower and resources.

The glue that holds these suggestions together? Hard work—without it, there will not be any results. ■

n January 19, 2 0 0 4 , shareholders, of the Molson Brewing Company will vote on whether or not to formally align them­ selves with the American-based Adolph Coors Company, in what would be one of the largest corporate mergers in recent memory.

Both companies' bottom lines have been bottoming out, and this move may save them both from extinction. However, a corporate marriage is never as simple as it sounds, and this case is no exception.

M any individuals and organizations are angered by the compa­ nies' consolidation plan. Guy Millette, manager of Sky Complex, one of Montreal's most popular gay bars, doubts whether he would contin­ ue to serve Molson products if the deal goes through. "It's important to boycott a product like [Coors]," he argues. "It goes against our ideals.

It's sure that if Coors is with Molson, that's not good. Molson should be aw are of this."

His complaints have a solid foundation. Coors, which markets itself as "The Right Beer Now," would be more appropriately dubbed "The Ultra-Right Beer Now." The company has a sordid history of hatred and bigotry against gays and blacks, as well as promoting numerous anti-abortion causes. Heavily funded think tanks, such as the infamous Heritage Foundation, founded in 1 9 7 3, have been set up over the years by Coors' managing partners to promote this agenda.

The National Lawyers Guild of America, a taskforce initiated to work for progressive change of the country's political and economic sys­ tem, .has for years promoted an all-out boycott of Coors' products. The nonprofit organization records instances in which' the homophobic atti­ tude of Coors severely harms the crusade for gay rights. For instance, they reported that the Heritage Foundation urged Congress to com­ pletely ban gays and lesbians in the military.

Now, there's nothing wrong with a little political opposition.

Conservatives and liberals have historically struck an acceptable bal­ ance along the political spectrum. But Coors is to the right as Michael Moore is to the left. W hile Jeffrey Coors w as chair of the Free Congress Foundation, the organization stated that homosexuality is "repugnant to... the laws of nature and nature's G od." Is this claim the future of Molson's image?

To the surprise of many, this merger would not mark the first instance of synergy between Molson and Coors. "Molson and Coors are already more than friends—they've been marketing and distribution partners for six years," says Amon Rappoport, communications director for California's Marin Institute, a grassroots organization designed to reduce alcohol problems. During this time, Molson adopted many of Coors' "dirty tricks" to gain loyalty from beer drinkers. For example, last year Molson initiated its "Friends" ad campaign, a sadistic ploy to help men deceive women into sleeping with them.

Not coincidentally, Molson seems to have engaged in some sus­ picious media promotions of late. A recent television commercial offered its customers several free downloads when purchasing a case of its beer. The subtle message thus delivered to Joe Six Pack is that downloading music for free is wrong, a notoriously right wing policy, and one no doubt advocated by Molson's fascist future trading partner.

Due in part to Coors's sketchy social track record, many Molson shareholders are reluctant to approve the deal. However, the $6-billion merger comes bootstrapped with a hefly sum of $381 million aggre-. gated to all Class A and B shareholders, which would be distributed the day before the potential merger, in order to appease their concerns.

There you go, Molson, you've learned well: when there's a problem, throw a little money at it and it's sure to go away.

It may be a financially stabilizing move for Molson to undergo this merger, but it is like befriending the school bully because he has the coolest toys. If Molson is truly a Canadian icon, w e must ask ourselves as beer drinkers: Do we really want to be associated with a company like Coors? ■

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Vegetarian! But... w hat do you e a t? ne day while I w as eating my brownbag lunch at school, a piece of my sandwich fell to the ground. "You dropped a bit of your chicken cutlet," said a friend of mine. I laughed. Only when I explained that it w as in fact a tofu burger did the commentator understand why.

I generally don't announce that I'm a vegetarian. People who eat with me regularly can usually figure out that much on their own, unless they have trouble distinguishing chicken from soy.

With so many vegetarians around these days, 'you'd think that everyone would be clear on how to define them: Surprisingly, I once read that in a group of survey respon­ dents who said they were vegetarian, some also admitted to haw ing eaten meat recently. They seemed to mistakenly think that including vegetables in a carnivorous diet, however limited the meat may be, qualified them as vegetarians.

W hen out for dinner, simply asking waiters whether an option is vegetarian can be a recipe for disaster. W h o can biame them, though, when there are different interpretations of

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what "vegetarian" means?

"N o meat, chicken, fish—yes, even salmon—pork, or any­ thing fried in animal fat," I am usually compelled to specify.

"Cheese is okay."

M aybe vegetarianism isn't as mainstream as I would like to think. Over the past few years, I've observed firsthand that non­ vegetarians tend to react to their counterparts in one of three ways.

The non-vegetarian, type one, is sympathetic towards those who don't eat animals. This individual is often curious to- know what lead the vegetarian to make that choice. Moreover, he or she is sometimes a budding vegetarian. "I only eat chicken," type one might say (which leads me to believe that those mistaken sur­ vey respondents fall into this category).

According to my unscientific estimate, most non-vegetarians are a type two, also known as bewildered. I have found the type two most commonly embodied as the relative sitting next to or across from me at family functions. Without fail, this person will earnestly ask, "But, if you're a vegetarian, what do you eat?" It

USA VARANO

gets even better when the food arrives. "I'm having the steak," says type two. "Does that offend you?"

Type two can mean well but is confused about what is veg­ etarian food. A distant family member once assured me that her lasagna-esque dish w as vegetarian because it had "no meat." I guess not everyone considers ham slices to be meat. Thankfully, a type one warned me of the offending ingredient before I dug in.

At an end of the non-vegetarian spectrum, opposite the pro­ gressive type one, is the hostile type three, who alleges that veg­ etarianism is unnatural or against "the order of life." The type three is also prone to accuse a n y vegetarian of being a hippy, Birkenstock-wearing crusader against animal cruelty. The leather shoes of many a vegetarian should stomp out this misconception.

Regardless of how non-vegetarians can be broadly type­ cast, the point-is that vegetarianism may be somewhat popular but it's not always understood. Perhaps w e could discuss it in more depth over dinner—I'll order sweet and sour tofu, but you go ahead and enjoy those ribs. ■

IVIcGill Tribune Curiosity delivers.

E ditor-in-C hief Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca

Managing E ditors Katherine Fugler Jam es Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca

N ews E ditors Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca

Features E ditors Liz Allemang Panthea Lee features@tribune.mcgill.ca

A&E E ditors Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler

the mcgill tribune | 5.1.05 | opinion

Deconstructing the facade *■ -'-w.

The head of the pap er trail

...____ v. ..

S Qâ&J 1

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BRETT SCH REW E

brett. sch rewe@ma iI. mcgi II.ca uring my undergrad, 1 spent a good deal of time in malls; so much so that I could spot the difference between merino and cashmere at 3 0 paces and, in hindsight, could have been confused for Sophie Kinsella's long lost brother. However, having taken a vow of simplici­ ty for a year in 2 0 0 2 , my shopping habits head­ ed militantly in the other direction. Now, walking through Eaton Centre or Place Montréal Trust feels like being a foreigner in my own country, much like being back in America these days.

Flash forward to holiday shopping season 2 0 0 4 , to a pair of shoes in a Kenneth Cole store housed in a glitzy mall in a fading Midwestern American city. Speaking freely, I felt a bit like Dorothy when Glenda showed her the ruby red slippers; immediately, in typical cartoon fashion, on one shoulder appeared an angel with features strikingly similar to Naomi Klein. On the other, a horned fellow in red toting the latest pitchfork from Milano. W hat to do?

To be honest, I would much rather be dis­ cussing the ethics of how to act with regards to the absolute hell of the tsunami aftermath or the partic­ ulars of Yushchenko-Yanukovych II; The Pain in the Ukraine. As it is, in the Western consumerism par­ adigm—especially during the holiday season—a

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backdrop of cash registers and commodities frames the direct experience from which one extrapolates wisdom. Fortunately, at second, third, and 24th glance, there are common threads mak­ ing a w eb of seemingly disconnected events.

O ne looks at the relief response unfolding in Southeast Asia and sees the complexities of a coa­ lescing global network, where goodwill and com­ passion of citizenry in countries both developed and developing, in forms both monetary and man­ power, are having trouble translating into coordi­ nated and meaningful response.

Shifting to the political fault line between Europe and Asia, the world has watched over the past two months as an election and the direction of a people has been suspended in a tug of war between the supposed liberal W est and the growingly authoritarian Russia. So many voices from so many angles—where in the space between does the actual Truth lie?

Just as significant as the tsunami and Ukraine is an innocuous pair of shoes standing in America with "Fabriqué en Chine" on the sole. W hose hands made the shoes that I bought? From which cow did the leather come? Is the designer who came, up with the concept happy in his/her life?

The virtues of local community gain a second

edge to its sword when it is brought to the global framework. Until very recently, w e have been a people whose connection to each other has been steeped in trust, for small towns and villages can­ not function without this vital component.

However, as w e begin to encounter in the every day the actions of others w e will never meet—be it in the form of providing aid through a third party, viewing an election through the channels of main­ stream media, or in products purchased that are themselves metaphors for the global economy— this tendency has been and continues to be some­ thing of which to take advantage.

W e must accept the invitation to act as social intellectuals, those satisfied with neither blind faith nor entrenched cynicism. W e must save the admo­ nition to think globally, act locally from the Hallmark phrase it is becoming. Rather, w e must reinterpret and apply it meaningfully to the devel­ oping world community the principles of what has sustained the local community structure since civi­ lization began. To do so is to embrace the con­ cept of neither ignoring the roar of unmoving con­ sumer culture nor to swim mindlessly in it, but to embrace the spirit of dialogue. Dial 1-800-KENC O LE, and begin to unravel where, in what form, and how deep the rabbit hole in fact goes. ■

arts@tribune.mcgill.ca

S ports E ditors

Radically respectable

M ohit Arora

1 »

A n d rew Segal

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sports@tribune.mcgill.ca

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Photo E ditors

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It's time we took humourists seriously

kirn dsouza@mail.mcgill.ca

Yasemin Emory Iwona Link

had a very Wodehouse Christmas. For those familiar with the master humourist P.G. Wodehouse, best known as the creator of the peerless Jeeves, I should clarify right aw ay I did not spend Christmas chafing under the rule of strongwilled female relatives, nor did the need arisé for a superlatively efficient butler to rescue me from a near encounter with vows of matrimony. Rather, what I mean to say is that I spent the holidays bliss­ fully immersed in Wodehouse's magical world of English gentry, Hollywood w annabes, and America's moneyed classes. In fact, I was absorbed in Wodehouse as soon as I w as seated on my train, even before it left Montreal.

M y loud chuckles about Lord Emsworth and the Empress of Blandings (his lordships precious pig) prompted the person seated next to me to begin a conversation. W e started talking about humorists, such as M cG ills own Stephen Leacock.

At one point, she asked, "So, is there anyone who is a humorist these days?" I was struck by the fact that we couldn't think of a single writer who we could describe as a humorist. She mentioned Stuart McLean of C B C Radio's The Vinyl Café, but we agreed that writing isn't really his expertise.

This anecdote, I think, is emblematic of a trend that prevails especially in "intellectual" cir­

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pFioto@tribune.mcgill.ca C opy E ditor Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca

D esign E ditors Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Heather Kitty M ak design@tribune.mcgill.ca

O nline E ditor Lynne Hsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca

A dvertising M anager Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca

A d T ypesetter Shawn Lazare

Publisher C had Ronalds

C ollaborators Kevin Afshari Narban Bouzari Dave Brodkey Lauren Consky Christine Cullen Kim D'Souza Adam Myers Dan M cQuillan Niall M ackay Roberts Jordan Safer Scott Sameroff Brett Schrewe M ax Shapiro Elisha Siegel Daryl W ile T ribune O ffices

4ketters ro u O) u

E ai c 3 -O

Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3 480 McTavish, Montreal QC Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3 600 McTavish, Montreal Q C H3A 1Y2

Xf a> Q. O

K IM D ' S O U Z A

cles: w e are so steeped in mockery and irony that we ascribe value to humour only if it's satire or polit­ ical parody of some sort.

I noticed this trend in an argument with a friend who insisted on reading Wodehouse as a satirist with an anti-British, anti-capitalist agenda.

George Orwell expressed the correct view when he wrote, in 1 9 4 5 , "Emsworth is funny because an earl ought to have more dignity, and Bertie Wooster's helpless dependence on Jeeves is funny partly because the servant ought not to be superior to the master."

The fact that people misread Wodehouse's characters as hostile caricatures reflects our soci­ ety's chronically disordered need to read subver­ sive subtexts into nearly everything that's funny.

Humour is also a marvellous part of our language's heritage; a December 2 0 0 3 Economist article describes how the French see humour, as opposed to caricature and satire, as distinctive to the Englishspeaker's psyche.

N o w I do enjoy satire, but I think humour is a literary genre inherently worthy of far more respect than it currently gets. Though most humour works by some stereotyping, the humorist, as exemplified

by Wodehouse and Leacock, differs from the satirist in that the latter aims to change the w a y the

TAs want the goods Kudos to N iall M ackay Roberts for his interest in how M cG ill's new plagia­ rism policy will affect teaching assistants (TAs vague on Turnitin.com p o lic y 3 0 . 1 1 .0 4 ). M cGill's TA Union A G SE M does, however, have a position on the new text-matching software policy; Roberts simply didn't have time to acquire it. A G SEM 's position is clear; since the policy, which doesn't mention TAs, has already passed, our greatest concern is with its implementation. Software cannot replace human knowledge and experi­ ence when it comes to plagiarism.

Deterrence and detection is best facilitat­ ed through low student/teacher ratios— through the hiring of more TAs and instructors—and better training for both.

audience sees the person stereotyped. W hile satire harbours somewhat hostile intentions towards its subject, "the humour of the highest culture, the humour of the future," as Leacock said, is born of "kindliness" and "wide charity of mind."

I recently read Tony Hendra's autobiographi­ cal book Father Joe. In addition to being co-creator of the legendary British series Spitting Image and one of the original editors of National Lampoon, Hendra has also written a history of "boomer humour" American satire called Going Too Far. I was particularly struck by a conversation Hendra has with his friend and mentor, a Benedictine monk (the "Father Joe" of the title), in which Hendra dis­ covers that "For the truly funny, making people laugh is the highest form of humour. It comes first.

Changing an audience's mind about something — my life's mission to date—comes a very distant sec­ ond."

Although Hendra never mentions Leacock, it is clear that Father Joe teaches Hendra the impor­ tance of kindliness in humour. Hendra also learns—as w e need to learn—to respect the intel­ lectual work that goes into producing humour of a high quality, even if such humour doesn't match Hendra's initial political conception of "changing the world through laughter." ■

Extra and unpaid workloads arising from the new software wfll not be shouldered

by TAs, and if w e are to use the software, w e deserve access to thorough, and paid, training. W e have brought this issue to our members, and are currently drafting a policy to be adopted at our next G eneral Assembly in M arch.

—Erin Vollick, Grievance Officer, A G S E M

Pathetic representation of holiday season I must admit to being sadly disap­ pointed by your treatment of Christmas (30.1 1 .0 4 ). To say that you want to protest the fact that Christmas is dominat­ ed by Christianity only betrays your igno­ rance: after all, the clue is in the name.

Christmas is, has been, and alw ays will

be, a Christian holiday. True, there are other holidays at this time (Hanukkah, Kw an zaa, and so on) but to attack this ancient festival while simultaneously pre­ tending to stand up for the individuals right to choose whether or what to cele­ brate is transparent and shallow. Would you dare write these things about Jewish, Muslim, or Hindu holidays? O f course not. For those people who celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, let them do so. And for those who don't want to, that's fine. But to trample on another per­ son's beliefs with a frankly offensive pic­ ture and article is hypocritical and, ulti­ mately, quite pathetic.

—G reg Fisher Ph.D. History

See page 10.

Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

The M cGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University, in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society. All submissions, including letters, Dispatch Box, Parry & Thrust and Reaction Engine must include contributor's name, program and year, and contact information. Submissions may be sent by e-mail to oped@tribune.mcgill.ca. Any material judged by the Tribune Publication Society to be libellous sexist racist, homophobic, or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board.

All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the M cGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions are available tor $ 3 0 .0 0 per year.

10 opinion j 5.105 | the mcgill tribune The Dose >

Di Carlo is not child friendly

elis ha.siegel@mail.mcgill.ca

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ver the break I've had a lot of time to myself. I've been able to spend hours upon hours contemplating my deepest thoughts and trying to figure out just where my life is headed. And by that I mean that I've been watching a lot of television. I might have been the only latch-key kid in North America whose parents worked at home, so I find it comforting to sprawl out on the sofa and watch a solid eight hours of television.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I love TV. But I'm starting to feel sick. M akeover shows have infected every channel and I'm tired of watching homosexuals hang drapes in suburban living rooms. I witnessed plastic surgeons suck the fat out of Vince Neil's face. And a pair of midget twins in three piece suits taught me how to make a fortune in real estate.

The winter break really helped me catch up on the world. It w as during this glorious time of introspection that I came to a certain realization

B. K. McCABE & L.M. GUZMAN-LOZANO

ith all due respect to VP O perations Anthony Di Carlo's work in obtaining a provincial government subsidy for the SSM U Daycare, the daycare got this subsidy due to the diligence of his pred­ ecessor Rod DeCastro and Daycare M anager Cynthia Dezso. It w a s aw ard­ ed as a result of applications that were prepared prior to Di C a rlo taking office.

It is important to note that the SSM U decision to cut the $ 3 fee paid by students to support the daycare made by the SSM U administration w as one that took parents; whose children are at the daycare, by surprise. W e were not notified that the cutting of the $ 3 daycare budget w a s going before SSM U's Legislative Council, and never had the opportunity to voice our con­ cerns.

The Council representatives were never informed that if the daycare had to subsist only on the government sub­ sidy, it would be $ 1 3 ,0 0 0 short. That does not include the one-time costs of a relatively new daycare such as setting up a playground for the children and the costs of having special programs such as music. It is difficult to believe that this cut will not have an impact on the quality of care our children receive.

There are 21 M cG ill undergrads that are hoping to use this daycare next year and w e want it to be secure enough to see them through to gradua­ tion.

This decision to cut all funding has made a major impact on the d a ycares future. There is no guarantee the provin­ cial government will continue giving the subsidy or what amount the daycare will receive in the future as the contract must be renewed annually.

The Tribune has noted in the past that the daycare is without a lease. If the daycare is forced to pay rent by the university, its very existence is in jeop­ ardy as it has no funds to do so.

W e believe that the creation of the SSM U Daycare is one of the SSM U's greatest accomplishments in recent years. W e worry that the recent SSM U decisions regarding the daycare has put this accomplishment in jeopardy.

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and decided to make my first ever N e w Year's resolution. Despite my love for the product, I have vowed to myself that I will never appear on television, because television does terrible things to people.

I used to think that being on TV would make my life complete. I lusted after the high profile celebrity lifestyle and prepared stories for my Conan appearances. I wanted people to see me on TV and say, "N o w there's a kid I'd like to get high with."

But things have changed. I don't want to be Summers new flame on The O .C . or eat sheep testicles out of a bucket of monkey brains on Fear Factor. I'm serious. I don't even want to be filmed for the news.

After spending so much time with television personalities, I can no longer imagine some­ thing that sucks the humanity from people worse than the small screen. Last week, I watched a special on Britney Spears. Here's a girl who's

just trying to make on honest living as a stripper and television has ruined her. Britney can't even have a bowel movement without it making the news. She's lost the ability to distinguish between her personal and her public life so everything she does looks like a cheap publici­ ty stunt.

As for reality TV, I w as a big fan in the early days, back when Survivor still featured ugly people. Today, reality TV is just a launching pad for careers as second-rate celebrities and Playboy bunnies. Even Ruben Studdard, the once proud American Idol winner, looks about one step a w a y from choking himself on a rack of lamb so he can step out of Clay's shadow.

There's no shortage of lives that have been ruined by television so I'm doing something to protect myself while I still can. I'm going to stay a w a y from all my Hollywood buddies for a while. I'm more comfortable at home on the couch anyway. ■

Editors like to rant too, you know. Sadly, w e're usually too caught up co py editing or bitching at stubborn printers to get our chance to shine. But wouldn't it be nice if, for just a few moments, we could indulge in the same self-aggrandizing manifestos as the average columnist? W e would like that very much indeed. Presenting Sheep's Clothing. It's not that w e're threatening, w e just like to abuse our (limitedI powers. Every week, an editor's alterego will relish at the chance to be heard and be absurd. N ote: Some like to share more than others.

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il ■ ||

Ain't nothing but a P thang

Hark! The fashion victims' cries P A N T H E A LEE

panthea.lee@mail.mcgill.ca X co

B.K. M c C a b e and L.M . GuzmanLozano are members o f the S S M U Daycare Parent Board

^letters

Leave reality on the television

Continued from previous page.

Pics of Christmas unintelligent The photographs on the cover and page 15 (Deck the halls with Christ and C o .) of your November 3 0 issue are not only offensive, they're just not smart. As a member of the minority population of Christians on M cGill's campus', I found your depiction of Joseph, M ary, and the "infant" Jesus incredibly repulsive and per­ sonally offensive. I don't believe that you would have been so bold as to be as dis­ respectful of other religious groups on cam­ pus, and that same respect should be given to Christians just as it is to others. On

uick! W hat's the new black for spring? Last I heard, fuchsia had replaced lime green, the unexpect­ ed star of last summer, which dethroned its cousin army green along with canary yel­ lo w —those scheming shades—which, just three seasons ago, had made grey her bitch.

I will be the first to admit it; I am a sucker for fashion. I idolize C a rrie Bradshaw —though what w as she thinking in the second season when she donned that hideous multi-coloured rag that screamed "Andy W arhol just ralphed all over me." But I still have my pride, for, suck­ er though I am, victim I am not. W h at is the difference you ask? The Panthea Institute of Over-analysis, in a feeble attempt to depict its founder as less of a flaky shmuck, has determined the factor that differentiates the two is common sense.

Suckers have their moments of foolish­ ness—my feet will never forgive me for suc­ cumbing to the allure of witch shoes (a .k .a . stilettos)—but fashion victims go for piz­ z a z z over practicality at all costs. N o mat­ ter how they try to spin it—I'm taking a cab to the club, I'm not that cold, ice really isn't all that slippery, I just shaved my legs and

Q

it would be wrong not to show them off— four-inch heels and miniskirts in mid-January equates a one-way ticket to Twit City, it ain't rocket science but, then again, these individuals generally aren't the brightest crayons in the box.

C a se in point: current fashion icon Paris Hilton on why she dumped her boyfriend, N ick Carter: "I called my psy­ chic and asked her opinion. She thought I should be alone, and I agreed with her."

H a. G ive this girl a penny for her thoughts and she just might give you back change.

Fashion today defies common sense.

Premeditated nonchalance is the order of the day, as w e pay big bucks to look like w e don't care. Take a quick look around campus and realize that many, although they attempt the look, make cheap chic an oxymoron. C h eap chic today requires cal­ culated preparation and careful execution.

Fork out big bucks for the products and ensemble that will give you that tousled, messy, just-out-of-bed look. Buy new jeans, but remember, they must never look n e w after all, w e must pay good money for things to look worn-in and beat-up ("dis­ tressed" in fashionista lingo). W e spend hundreds of dollars, hours of time, to

top of this, the picture's just not that intelli­ similarities and differences that w e have (Tuition: Bigger is better— 3 0 .1 1 .0 4 ). As gent. I would have been able to stomach an American, I have alw ays felt that being something that had a legitimate criticism of the pervasiveness of JudeoChristian dis­ at M cG ill w as a great deal. Had I attend­ ed a university in the States, I would most course during the holiday season if it had any sort of value as an argument whatso­ likely have paid about four times what I pay now. I am well aw are of M cGill's ever. All your picture makes me think of is a bunch of rowdy guys in a bathroom with drastic undecfunding, and would be Will­ cf qam efa, imagining how many ..people ' ing to see my tuition rise a little to help.

However, my family is relatively well off they are going fo upset with their disre­ and I'm not struggling to p a y my tuition. I spectful and immature pranks. feel confident in assuming that Mr. —Amanda Jager, U2. Education Hudgins family is doing quite alright too. I In defence of those not well off don't think he ever has to worry about pay­ ing the bills, as evidenced by his casual In response to M ike Hudgins attitude towards them.

Dispatch Box, I wanted to address some

primp, to polish, and to fit ourselves into the cookie-cutter mold of the season.

Showing up with the same outfit as someone else is a supposed faux pas, and yet the same look has taken campus under siege. If I see another person prance by in U G G s (hello, UGG-LY!) or those furry boots (uhh... the Yeti's on the phone and he wants his feet back), coupled with the word "Juicy" on their tush, I will grab their poncho, w rap it around their face and suf­ focate them with it. U G G that, suckal W e say w e are worried about buying things that everyone else has but, really now, who are these carbon copies kidding? They are more worried about buying something that nobody has.

G o d forbid they buy a piece of cloth­ ing that doesn't grant them access to a social club. After all, if nobody else has it, their clothing might not—g asp —bestow identities upon them. Then what would the pod people do? They may have to resort to ... defining their characters on their own.

The absurdity of it all; why develop an identity when you can buy one off the racks? Forget prêt-a-porter and say hello to prêt-a-identitier Not into it? W h o cares? It's the latest thing, dah-ling. ■

W h ile Mr. Hudgin and I can afford a hike, many people cannot. His solution that these people who are "not truly serious about their education" and "should not be here" drop out, thereby making his classes smaller, is ludicrous. C a n a d a , and Q uebec especially, prides itself on the pur­ ported universality of university education, ancj to abandon this principle in favour of an aristocratic system would be a crime and a shame. If Mr. Hudgin wants to add more money to M cGill's coffers, he should do what I plan on doing—donate. M aybe they'll name a building after him.

—Ja co b Itzkowitz, U I Political Science

;

CHAT T E RB OX

campus

Psych prof solves all But Don Taylor would rather be a student

SILHOUETTE

Making dream s of flying a reality The SSMU Aviation Club will be your wingman and that they could actually get to outside of their class sched-

D A R Y L W IL E

ule." he sky is our office," would be my slogan, if I were the Aviation Club. However disappointing though, this article isn't about me. It's about the only club on campus that will help you get your pilots license, take you for recreational flights around the skies of Montreal and, if you're lucky, they may even take you on your first skydiving, trip.

Like many club members, current president Ramy Rashad, U 4 Mechanical Engineering, w as "bitten by the avi­ ation bug" at an early age, and went on to form the club with former president Alejandro Del Balso, who is now a flight instructor. "Three or four of us have pilot's licenses, Rashad

T

Through a partnership with the Montreal Flying Club, the Aviation Club has arranged a special price on ground school—$ 3 9 0 for the course and materials. "It's a great deal.

Regular ground school would cost about $ 6 0 0 ... and they basically get half their pilots license.

Students join the club for a variety of reasons, and all are welcome as members. "It's for anyone who's interested in aerospace, basically,” says Rashad.

"The M cG ill Aviation club believes I can fly," adds Kerry Flintoff, Dentistry 1 student. "[They believe] I can touch the sky."

Future plans include a scheme which promises to revolu-

Likes: Freud, Timbits, and Steve Earle. Dislikes: Video gambling.

Given the choice between being a professor or a student at McGill, I would choose... being a student. It is the only time in your life when society puts a lot of money into your "getting smart" and you get to actually choose what you get smart about. The minute your student days are over, people start making demands of you and more often it is their demands, not your agenda.

But maybe I'm sugar coating student life because it would be fun to be living it again.

My favourite university memory is... being passionate about what I was learning, and being encouraged by campus life to keep up the sports and m usic-but most of all a group of "buds" struggling with conquering this scary thing called university.

Given the power to do so, I would improve the current situation of the Inuit in Arctic Quebec by... implementing genuine empowerment, not token empowerment that fosters dependency.

One attribute of Inuit culture that I think should be adopted by the rest of North America is... placing each other as the highest priority rather than achievement or the vacuous pursuit of materialism.

One attribute of North American culture that I think should be adopted by the Inuits is... developing a clear relationship between performance and outcome.

According to my research, members of a disadvantaged group are most likely to instigate collective action when... they perceive injustice, when they perceive no chance for individual mobility, and .when their only mechanism for improving their personal quality of life is improving the status of their whole

Let the Aviation Club take you to new heights... and be part of plane history. Or just visit the museum. says of the club executives. "And basically, because we're pilots, w e can just take up passengers.

And take up passengers they do. "W e love to head up and go around the city, do some sightseeing... its pretty nice," continues Rashad. But the passenger flights are only one of the perks of the $ 5 membership; other club events include aerospace industry tours—Bombardier Aerospace, air traffic control towers, Air C an ad a hangars, and more— hang-gliding and skydiving. "Two of us have our glider pilot license," the Rashad explains. "Gliding is fun because its silent flight, and you only get one shot to make the field. And last summer, w e took 1 1 people up to jump tandem [skydivThough a pilot, Rashad cannot use his glider or skydiv­ ing licenses to teach members how to fly, but he can get dis­ counts on the use of equipment and lessons. One new initia­ tive this year is an Aviation Club-sponsored ground school tai­ lored to M cGill students. "A pilot's license has two parts: flight training and ground school," Rashad explains. "W e wanted to set up a ground school that university students could afford

lionize the open air pub (OAP) concept. "W e d love to do a formation flight out to a barbeque somewhere," proclaims Rashad as a crowd of new members instantly rushes the inter­ view table. "W e'd just put a bunch of people on some Cessnas and fly out to a smaller airport, have a barbeque lunch and fly back." Okay, so the flying back part may pre­ clude any overtly "pub-like” plans, but this idea remains indis­ putably cool. And events like these will ensure that adrenaline junkies, aspiring Icarites, and former Cub Scout Rocket Derby champions will have a common ground at M cGill for years to come. "Just remember," said former derby champ Jonathan Durynek, BA '0 3 , "don't pack the chute too tight or it won't come out." ■ For more information on the Aviation Club, visit www.ssmu.mcgill.ca/aviation. To join the club, simply register on their online message board, which can be found on the Web site.

Once registered, you will be placed on their email list and kept informed of all their events and initiatives. The official membership fee is $5, required only when you participate in your first event.

group.

The most puzzling aspect of human social behaviour is... how w e can justify to ourselves outrageously illogical and unjust acts.

A social custom that society could easily do without is... having govern­ ments promote gambling as a wonderful "something for nothing scheme^ thereby undermining the basic principal that you get what you work for—and negotiating all this over a cell phone.

The greatest catalyst in raising the bar of normalcy in the community has been... and is, Internet video games that depict violence with no opportunity for the community to provide any normative restraint.

I violated a social boundary when... I assumed that all my students are fundamentally intelligent, motivated, and interesting but our technology has rendered them, and me, intellectually more passive.

If I could be treated by one psychiatrist, dead or alive, it would be...

Freud. The scope of his intellect aside, his sex life must have been something.

The most irritating part of having to lecture with a microphone is... I can't wander about the whole room making eye contact with those in the back.

I would never eat... a Tim Horton's doughnut again. O kay, maybe on special occasions.

The worst movie I have seen is... a series of movies about the courage of civil rights activists in the US and South Africa, that focused on an heroic white journalist or lawyer instead of the real heroes.

If I had to get a tattoo, it would be of... Steve Earle doing a triathlon.

The last thing I do before I go to sleep is... solve all the problems of the world in less than 3 0 seconds.

—compiled by Narvan Bouzari

STREETER

This year, I resolve to be a better person...

The Trib investigates the New Year phenom enon of wishful thinking What is your New Year's resolution?

"To be w a ry of commitments that waste my \ time, money, and en ergy—.cough, M c G ill, i cough—in hopes of a false vision in accordance , with the prevailing common sense."

- G a b e Czarnecki, BA '04 Anthropology j

Do you believe in New Year's resolu­ tions?

"Yeah, they're fabulous... especially if they motivate fat people to get skinny.

—Rich M adras, U3 Marketing IWONA LINK

What do you think about resolution-makers?

"They're just optimistic."

—Lene Myhren, U2 Biology

Are people who make New Year's resolu­ tions suckers?

"N o , not suckers... they just have unreal­ istic optimism. W h y should it work just because it's a new year?"

—Eli Vee, U2 Biology

How long do you think your New Year's res­ olution will last?

"At least until next autumn, I hope."

—Josée N adeau, U2 Education (whose res­ olution was to hit the gym three times a week]

Make a New Year's resolution for the Tribune.

"To be in good health."

—Boris Sheldov, General M anager at the M cG ill Daily (Editor's N ote; A w w w shucks, Boris. Right back atcha)

2005

Better get your grad photo taken to be included in

OLD MCGILL 2005

The Official McGill Yearbook

gets you a campus yearbook

JOSTEN'S Canada are the official photographers for the Students' Society o f M cGill University

gets you a photo sitting

gets you immortality

TED BELOW ARE THE DATES FOR THE PHOTO SESSIONS AND THE FACULTIES

Law Nursing

Jan, 10, 11, 12 Jostens Studio Jan. 1 7 - 2 8 Jostens Studio

STILL NOT TOO LATE FOR YOUR GRAD PHOTO JOSTENS STUDIO, 2057 Stanley Street For appointment call: 499-9999

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Deemed useless, the mangled remnants of once trusted sidekicks rest quietly against cold cement strangers. Abandoned and left to the mercy of the elements, chained and helpless, they unwillingly consent to prospects unlike anything they have known, robbed of their utility, dignity and grace.

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here are 3 6 3 .5 days left until 2 0 0 6 as I foolishly break my first promise to myself. That's it, I'm doomed. Barely two days into a brand new year and I've gone and wasted 0 .0 4 1 per cent of it resorting to sarcasm because my ability to sincere­ ly write about the perennial favourite—the N e w Year's resolution—is apparently nonexistent. I tried interviewing health club owners, the good folks at Nicorette and some random clergymen, but I w as hard-pressed to locate any­ thing original in their well-intended yet painfully self-evi­ dent statements. Though I would be in bad faith were I to say I am against resoluteness, I would be similarly selfdeceiving were I to entertain the notion that a so-called life-altering declaration of willpower made when three sheets to the proverbial wind is anything but sincere.

C ase in point: it's been only a dozen or so hours and already I'm pampering my appetite for lofty adverbs, latenight worker bee inclinations, and misplaced skepticism.

Sigh.

At least I'm in good company. The belief that what one does the first few days of a new year somehow reflects, or at least affects, the remaining months is as old as Ancient Babylon. Four thousand years to be exact.

Ideas of magnificence and rehauled behaviour make up one of the oldest of holidays: the celebration of renais­ sance or, as ! like to call it, re-nuisance. Only while w e are making empty pledges to jump on the health/success/w ell-being/do-gooder bandw agon, the Babylonians were promising to return wagons and other such borrowed farm equipment to their rightful owners before the year's end. Seems like they had the realistic thing down.

W e , on the other hand, prefer shaming ourselves for being the adorably unique, albeit imperfect, creatures we naturally are. To be sure, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, among the most common res­ olutions of the self-improving modern adult is a commit­ ment to look better wiih "haute couture" operations: a sim­ ple nip/tuck is our key to rebirth, or at the very least, a baby's bottom. What's more, at www.hiaspire.com you can sign up for free monthly resolution e-mails so you can be reminded of the end-of-year lip service you're scrupu­ lously trying to forget.

T

"I resolve to avoid the highway of death"

C o u ld a

w o u ld a

We're w ay too humble to keep our New Year's resolutions BY

N A T A L I E

F L E T C H E R

Despite the statistics that prove the fallibility of reso­ lutions, those who make a career out of optimism contin­ ue to elaborate ever more obvious ways of safeguarding these false statements of purpose. W anna learn how to beat a dead horse into syndication? Pick up The Art of the Fresh Start (HCI, 19 9 5), Resolutions: Four Inspiring Novellas Show a Loving W a y to M ake a Fresh Start (Barbour, 2 0 0 0 ) or any other of the latest versions of carpe diem. A personal favourite: "Don't put out a mail­ box on the highway of death and just wait in residence for your mail." Poignant.

Resolution-mongers are sly, if dim. They tell us to be specific with our resolutions, pick things that excite us, take baby steps, keep progress diaries, surround our­ selves with positive thinkers, reward small accomplish­ ments and accept the occasional slip-up. Then they offer examples like "taking care of oneself." How exactly do you track your progress on this brand of vagueness, hmm? Guesstimates? N o wonder baby carrots are nurs­ ing abandonment fantasies at the back of fridges across the continent.

The problem is, their theories are so romanticized they leave you lunging for the closest paper bag: “Always remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths w e take, but by the moments that take our breath aw ay."

Come now. It takes only one trip to the zoo to real­ ize it's highly unnatural to set goals other than sleeping, eating, and the occasional romping. M y man O scar W ild e said it best in his cynical touchstone, The Picture of Dorian Gray. "Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity.

Their result is absolutely nil. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account." So there.

The less scathing Hara Estroff M arano, an editor at Psychology Today, reveals how the year-end desire to become a "new you" is highly contradictory. Whatever happened to being yourself? "Should these [resolutions] falter," she notes, "we walk aw a y a bit damaged. The experience registers on us, chips a w a y at our sense of self and makes us feel less successful." I'll have none of that.

"I resolve not to astound myself'

s h o u ld a

Instead, behold the Edison Theory, not quite an endorsement of laziness, but certainly an endorsement of our hidden brilliance. Good ol' Thomas, without whom the world would be devoid of incandescent electric light

the mcgill tribune | 5.1.05 | feature ] 5

COMPLAINT

bulbs, once said: "If w e all did the things w e were capable of doing, w e would literally astound our­ selves." N o w who wants to be astounded every day of the year? It's highly strenuous, .and studies have shown that the ensuing pride is rather unhealthy for tragic heroes such as ourselves. Imagine the panic attack that would arise at the realization that w e are indeed much too brilliant for our own good and should continue down the path of denial lest our heads get swollen and w e lose all our friends.

Pounding heart, numb fingers, flushed faces. It would not be pretty. And so, w e break each and every one of our resolutions. W h y? Modesty. Showoffs never got anywhere except into peoples bad books. N o one likes a prodigy. Hello, have you met my ego? It's fit, thin, healthy, pious, substance-free, it excels at everything, and it's boring as hell.

Success is a lonely planet. Fulfilling resolutions may prove w e are more exceptional than w e ever thought possible, but as health journalist. Lisa Tolin noted, "It's also important to remember that being gift­ ed isn't always a gift." You try too hard and you'll start hating what you're good at or else realize too late that it's the only thing you're good at. Sport ther­ apists have noted star athletes' tendencies to forget that their talent and popularity aren't permanent fix­ tures in their halls of fame but fleeting illusions that will leave them sulking alone in their mansions. 'Tis far better to be a generalist, one who knows a bit about everything, including how to fail. After all, perfection­ ism is the quickest route to eternal dissatisfaction and unhappiness. In Garden Stale, which I watched ear­ lier today in order to successfully crush my second resolution to stop procrastinating, the slacker justifies bogarting the bong with the claim, "I like being unim­ pressive—I sleep better."

"I resolve to stop making resolutions" W e avoid resolutions not out of fear of failure but fear of success. "Our deepest fear is not that w e are inadequate; our deepest fear is that w e are pow­ erful beyond measure," writes self-help guru

ee, w e at Features aren't completely negative. W hile the stench of failure does excite us, w e are in fact hoping that certain people/places/things experience greater success in 2 0 0 5 . Some washed up, some just starting to sizzle, here's our list of what w e are rooting for in the upcoming year.

Howard Dean. G et over the "I have a scream speech" kids, there is so much more to our homeboy Dean. His bid for presidential candidate w as doomed, the public wasn't yet ready for an honest politician, but we're hoping he makes a suc­ cessful comeback when he (hopefully) is named chair of the D N C . Please adopt us Howie, w e have a heart on for you!

Subway's Toasted Sub. They claim that it's for "a limited time only" and w e are praying that this is a cruel joke. Because, as w e all know, toasted tastes better.

That Random Dude. 2 0 0 4 was the year of That Random Dude. Britney Spears got married to a random dude. Julia Roberts also got hitched with some random dude. And w e are lovin' it. W e are rooting for more random dudes to make it big; this way, it frees up all the hot male celebrities that these big-time divas used to date. So come, on, Cameron, give some random dude a ch an ce... and w e ll gladly take Justin off your hands.

Clean bathrooms in bars. Please Montreal, say it with us, "Re-stock t.p." W e love this city as it is, but oh, how wonderful it would be if the owners of Le Swimming did something about the vomit overflow situation in the ladies room. All they need are a couple of scented candles, which not only create ambiance, but cover up that pee stink frequently associated with public toi­ lets.

Martha Stewart. She's in talks with hit maker Mark Burnett, the creator of Survivor and The Apprentice, to develop a new series and w e predict that this jailbird is going to be hotter than ever. Martha w as okay before, but now the queen of entertain­ ing has got street cred, so w e respect her w a y more.

Standard winter boots. Put vanity aside and give it a rest already.

Paris Hilton. Truth be told, w e are not actually rooting for Miss Hilton—she irritates us. But we do appreciate that her sex tapes took attention a w a y from our sex tapes. And with plenty of naughty Tribune videos unaccounted for, w e hope Paris's pri­ vates go public yet again so that our raunchy romps remain unnoticed.

24-hour everything. G rocery stores, drugstores, coffee shops, Club 281 and other necessities in a girl's life should all be open round the clock. Because, dammit, w e want our ice cream, prescriptions, casual date locations and strippers when­ ever the mood happens to strike.

—Liz Allemang and Panthea Lee

S

Year Dean,

dudes, 8c 24-hour everything

Props to the underdogs 8c alike

•V.IKf +-

Marrianne Williamson in her book A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles o f A Course in Miracles (Perennial Currents, 1996). "It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. W e ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fab­ ulous?"

Yep, humility is the new hotheadedness. Instead of confronting our overwhelming perfection, w e ere ate problems and bond with the lowlifes. That's why w e stuff our faces with chocolate snowmen over the holidays—w e want to make sure w e have something to do and thus complain about when w e get back to reality.

It's like psychotherapist Frank Pittman said: "Problems are good for you; they are character-build­ ing and enriching and offer opportunities for selfawareness and change. Problems and conflicts and traumas and crises make for the most interesting con­ versations." W h o wouldn't wish quality problems on a loved-one? Besides; being brilliant 2 4 / 7 would rid thousands of motivational speakers, depression workers, and bona fide cynics of their livelihoods.

Altruists that w e are, w e make up excuses for our poor performances. As e-business pioneer Dan Schulman confirms, "Creating a rationale for our shortcomings, or self-handicapping, sidesteps the issue of innate ability."

And when excuses run out, w e turn to tasteless jokes. World peace, you say? Not until Bush gets career counselling. Saving the environment? Not until Mother Nature stops wreaking her watery havocs.

Nixing the hard liquor? Fine. But only 'til the SAQ s reopen.

Resolutions are meant to be broken — resolvere doesn't mean "relax" for nothing, you know. So why these fits of moral rearmament? W h y the desire to be the best w e can be and single-handedly kill our child­ hood dreams? If it's true that today is the first day of the rest of your life, go back to bed. The Babylonian N e w Year started on March 2 3 . There's lots of time left to astound and be astounded. And wham, anoth­ er resolution bites its tongue. Bottom's up. ■

DEPARTMENT

Not

tothrive in 2 0 0 5

Down with Atkins, adieu to The S w an, and you can forget about Nick and Jessica

LIZ A LL E M A N G & PA N TH EA LEE hile 2 0 0 4 w as officially the year of the monkey, media culture and passing trends stole the show. Though certain annoyances (think American Idol's runner up Diana DeGarmo) quickly went the w a y of the Tamagotchi, others have seeped into our lives and refused to die after their 15 minutes were up. Here w e round up those fads that make us want to tear out our tresses and resolve that they will finally bite the dust in 2 0 0 5 .

W

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. First it w as the Chicken of the Sea debacle (for the record, Jess, it's not actually chicken). W hile the show is a joint venture, Nick continues to sulk from the sidelines as his wife soaks up the spotlight. Jessica's ditziness only fueled our obsession, though the reasons for our fascination are perplexing. Yes, she's the reason blonde jokes exist, and her bosom is ample, but ain't that the case for Ignorance is bliss. Yuckalicious, every Hollywood pin-up? W e admit N ewlyweds is a fine guilty pleasure, but the photogenic twosome has annoyingly penetrated every media outlet. Nick's cheating, the marriage is in trouble, they're pregnant, Jessica dropped 2 0 pounds to fit into her Daisy Duke's; it would be nice if In Touch could be more creative with its tabloid fodder. And does MTV not see the irony? You are no longer "newlywed" after three years of marriage.

Bad reality television. Sure, the reality craze was fun for a while; w e watched when the oft-naked and proudly gay Richard Hatch won the first Survivor. But quickly thereafter—we think it was with the introduction of the ultra-boring Big Brother or perhaps the moment people started putting leeches down their pants—this small screen phenomenon took a nosedive. The reality fetish has got to stop. W e know you're masochistic, but please don't turn to such contrived programming. W h y Surviving the mind-numbing, do people like it, anyway? W ell, our lives may be pathetic, but at least we can point and laugh at other people's, which are even more pathetic. Cough, cough, William Hung. To hell with an informed, clued-in population—get comfy in those PJs, grab that remote, and begin pondering the truly pressing questions of today's "artistes." Did the family in M y Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé truly believe their daughter's suitor w as for real? Would cheek implants change our lives the w a y it did for that girl on The Swan? Hooray to killing brain cells!

Low carb mania. Forget G o d; Atkins is the new omnipresent force Though other diets have drawn celebrity endorsements from D-list stars (or in Trimspa's case, DD-list), flocks of award-winning actors, singers, and even politicians, such as Bill and Hillary Clinton, are low carb junkies. Breadless/riceless/potatoless cookbooks, calendars, seminars, and even carb-free laxatives are infiltrating our lives. You know it has gotten Would you like cheese with that? out of hand when Mickey D's jumps on the bandwag­ on. With their protein platters, losing weight should be a piece of sugarless cake, right? After all, loading up on bacon, beef patties and extra cheese must be okay if you just say no to the bun. M m m ... beef wrapped in lettuce.

Vanity blogs. O h, the pain of it all. Please make it stop. N o one wants to hear your musings on the uni­ verse, nor why Bobby Boyfriend dumped you for Slutty Sally for the 23rd time yesterday and how this will be the last break up because you swear you guys will never get back together again. Then there is the angst filled poetry, full of mediocre, adjective ridden prose, reminiscent of that time in grade seven when w e wrote Typing your way into inanity. in our journals, and then w e read over our work and were scared straight by how bad it w as. And, should you choose to continue your self-absorbed ramblings, please don't tell us when you update them and then whine that no one ever leaves comments. On s'en fout. N o me importa. No matter how we say it, it boils down to the same thing: we could not care less.

Ugg boots. After Juicy Couture got boring and Von Dutch lost its edge, bimbettes everywhere demand­ ed a mass produced item du jour to fill the overpriced, shabby chic void; Uggs, the generic sheepskin moon boots that every, designer sweatpant clad coed has been sporting. Sure; they're comfortable and will keep your tootsies warm throughout the cold Montreal win­ ter, but do you really think that's why trendoids are will­ Boots that put the "ugg" in ugggly. ing to shell out over 2 0 0 bucks for them? Could the fact that they were all the rage in L.A. have anything to do with it? Hope is in sight, though. On a recent trip to Payless w e spotted indistinguishable knockoff Uggs, a fact that will hopefully inspire owners of the luxury footwear to move on to a new costly accessory. ■

a&e

The cool issue

You mean I have to count?

Do-it-yourself cool, artists with know-how give lessons in success LISETREU TLER re you an artist? Do you peruse the A&E section w eek after week? Do you memorize the trends in the art world, read between the lines of interviews to find your favourite musi­ cian's hidden advice to aspiring rock stars, or examine layouts and ponder whether you'd have done it differently?

Enjoyment of others' work is cool. Staying up-to-date on the current trends and predicting future thrills is even cooler. But to reach the coolest of the cool, you have step above dreaming and beyond silently filing finished work a w a y ; this is the era of the doit-yourself entrepreneur, and it's high time to take advantage of it and glean the know-how for every possible chance of success: If your mind races and chants "yes, yes, yes!" as you list the options and start to plan aw ay, then your little lump of grey matter and all its concealed ideas has already given you a great head start. It's time to pay a visit to YES Montreal.

Since 1 9 9 4 , Youth Employment Services Montreal has offered programs, resources, counseling, and aw ards to job seek­ ers aged 16-35, future entrepreneurs, and artists in all fields. Their headquarters (6 3 0 boul. René-Lévesque O .) offers the ultimate o n e stop location for guidance: a complete resource library, computer and Internet access, and tutorials on Internet job search skills.

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W h ile you're there, you can check out the list of upcoming events and service opportunities, including busintess coaching, C V trans­ lation, entrepreneurship workshops, and annual conferences com­ plete with networking opportunities.

But where, you ask, does the young artist fit in? The answer is never complete—aside from being able to take advantage of the resources at YES, artists of all ages have programs specifical­ ly designed for them, including the illustrious business plan contest, where the prize is a grant of $ 5 ,0 0 0 . Artists' workshops and the annual three-day conference for self-employed artists, given the umbrella name "Business Skills for Creative Souls," aim not only to nurture the passion already within but to leave artists with the know­ how to succeed financially without having to abandon their own personal goals. Examples of workshops include a "Portfolio TuneUp," where visual artists learn to format their showpieces to their advantage, "N o Nonsense Accounting for Artists," and "Protect Your W ork: Law and the Arts."

N ow , as w e begin a new year, is the perfect time to either drop by YES or visit their W e b site (www.yesmontreal.ca| and see which upcoming events are geared towards you. In the meantime, check out YES's much-acclaimed latest achievement: the readerfriendly Business Skills for Creative Souls: The Montreal Artist's Handbook. This manual, launched in the fall, contains more infor­ mation and advice on living—and surviving—as an artist than any other on the market. From the inviting introduction to the extensive listing of organizations, granting agencies, and festivals, not a word is wasted on the trivial.

Though sections on the law and accounting may initially be a turn-off, remember that The Montreal Artist's Handbook w as writ­ ten with artists in mind; the information within is not only essential, but written in a no-nonsense, understandable style. These pages prove you can master basic accounting. M ore than that, you’ll learn why. Explains Iris Unger, the Executive Director of Y ES, “ In order to succeed in today's competitive marketplace, artists need to know how to balance their books, how to market and sell their art, and how to legally protect their work. This handbook teaches artists how to make money doing what they love, by providing them with the business skills they need to succeed."

But fear not, The Montreal Artist's Handbook is not all a mini­ management textbook. O ver 5 0 local artists in all fields con­ tributed their stories and advice to the handbook—including past Tribune profilées Sugar Sammy and Tim Rideout— resulting in sec­ tions directed at every artist out there: photographers, painters,

YESMONTREAL.CA performers, filmmakers, musicians, graphic artists, fashion design­ ers, and writers. These mini-handbooks offer wit, wisdom, and warmth with direct quotations from those who've been through the start-up process, encouraging you to go ahead with your dreams and stick to your vision.

Copies of The Montreal Artist's Handbook are sold at YES for $ 2 0 . Picking up this handbook—not to mention exploring YES's resources and events calendar—is well worth your time and money. It's cheaper than realizing, 15 years down the road, that your math skills really do need a tune-up and enrolling in an evening business course. Not only that, but the friendly faces with years of expertise behind them at Y E S , complemented by their handbook, will give you the encouragement and mental tools you need to dust off your completed works previously hidden a w a y and get something started. ■

CANVAS

But my mom says I'm cool s your faithful A&E editors, w e have had the luxu­ ry of experiencing a plethora of coolness. O f course, w e have also had our share of un-cool times as well. But, really, what is cool? W ith hopes that you'll send us your thoughts in response, w e alternate key­ board control to bring you: "The Tribune's O fficial A&E Cool List."

Cool is The Evil Dead. C ool is Evil D ead II. Cool is— you guessed it—Army o f Darkness. Let's face it: cool is sim­ ply anything involving Bruce Cam pbell.

Cool is enjoying the dorkiest possible experiences: anyone who can turn a presidential debate into a drink­ ing game is cool in our book.

Cool is trekking north past M ile End through a bliz­ zard simply to witness a 20-minute opening set by your favourite local band.

C ool is attending five Fringe Festivals in five cities over five weeks. There's a challenge that's worth your time and money.

C ool is building up the most eclectic and obscure C D collection of anyone you know, provided you don't lord your musical knowledge over their heads. Remember

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**1 11 11f 1*'I jfil fj

kindergarten? Sharing is cool! Not that w e're advocating a 1 ,0 0 0 + collection of illegallyxdownloaded mp3s or anything...

Cool is drinking a 4 0 every night for a w eek, then studying for 12 hours the next day.

Cool is planning full-out sober nights so that you can w ake up the next morning physically and mentally ca p a ­ ble of having yet more fun!

Cool is getting high off a kaleidoscopic art painting in the Museum of Contemporary Art—no additional sub­ stances needed, thank you very much!

Cool is appreciating the music of the late Kurt C o b ain, but refusing to buy every single m agazine that prints yet another cover story— "Kurt: The 15th Anniversary of the Day He Bought a N e w Pair of Shoes."

C ool is watching Fight Club on rep eat... then starting your very own fight club. "The first rule of Fight Club is ..."

C ool is letting your inner four-year-old out for a few hours to eat a big bag of cand y and watch Finding N em o—even if it's because you're babysitting your friends live wire of a four-year-old.

C ool is air bands. Ain't nothin' wrong with overcom­

D A N IEL C H O D O S & LISE T R E U T L E R ing your lack of musical prowess by twiddling your hands and mouthing the words to your favourite tunes.

C ool is reading the book instead of seeing the terri­ ble film adaptation.

Cool is going to the filming of Jeopardy!, and then impressing your friends by getting every answer right when you watch it three weeks later.

Cool is taking advantage of living in a bilingual city and Ishocker) practicing your French!

Cool is watching D azed and Confused, and puffing a spliff every time Pink, W ooderson, and company light u p ... then going out to a bar.

Cool is getting excited as you move to a new apart­ ment because of all the decorating and Feng Shui oppor­ tunities a brand new space offers.

Cool is chilling with your grandparents at Tam-Tams.

C ool is trying out a new Japanese restaurant, partic­ ipating in a wasabi-eating contest, and winning.

C ool is letting your inner geek shine through. That said, the ultimate cool is completely ignoring us and loudly proclaiming your own definition o f cool. Don't let us boss you aroundI ■

the mcgill tribune j 5.1.05 | a&e ] 7

^ ^ e s t iv a ls

It's cold in Q u eb ec...

Let's up our cool factor and refuse to hibernate

MUSIC. K-Os—Spectrum—318 rue SteCatherine O .—January 8. This C anadian hip hop artist hails from Toronto, but his roots are in Trinidad. Raised by Jehovah's Witnesses, his songs can come off a bit preachy, but his raw talent and creativity make up for it in spades.

Mixing hip hop beats with excellent singing ability, his 2 0 0 3 release, Joyful Rebellion, w as a welcome follow-up to his debut Exit the pre­ vious year. Born Kheaven Brereton, K-Os (pro­ nounced "chaos") is not only a talented emcee and songwriter, but he also produces his own music. C all 8 61-5851 for details.

FILM. The Aviator—various theatres.

Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio have teamed up again this holiday season to bring us a three-hour non-fiction epic. Moviegoers disappointed with the 2 0 0 2 release Gangs of N ew York may be pleasantly surprised by this biopic that chronicles the w ayw ard life of m egalom aniac H ow ard Hughes. Though reviews have been mixed, Scorsese offers a fairly fast-paced story with a star-studded cast, including D iC ap rio , A lec Baldw in, C ate Blanchett, and Kate Beckinsale, among others.

The film outlines the 2 0 years of his life when it w as exciting and not sad, in which he rises up to become a multimillionaire through the airline and film industries.

STCOMELANAUDIERE.CA

L IS E T R E U T L E R h h ... Curling up on a couch under cozy blankets with your significant other and steaming mugs of hot chocolate—does this sound familiar? Is this the winter ideal in our snowy city? As no one has yet to die from a cuddling-with-cocoa overdose, the above scenario just may be. Certainly, while comfortable and warm inside, the snow-covered sidewalks outside seem almost m agical.

Not to debase the warm fuzzies achieved by-a night in, but there is more to winter in Montreal than blowing your savings at Blockbuster. Yes, there is life outside— beyond trudging to class in knee-high boots—and the fun is just waiting to be discovered.

There are, of course, traditional options: an evening stroll thro'ugh Parc Lafontaine or up Mont Royal, indoor iceskating at Atrium le 1 0 0 0 , or a weekend a w a y with the ski team. But if you remember the tried, tested, and true facts that Q uebec is a province of joie de vivre and Montreal is the city of festivals, then you might want to take full advantage of the many options w e're given.

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Staying in the city?

You don't have to venture far off the Métro to find snowy fun. Among others, three of Montreal's famous festi­ vals are the most easily accessible. Specifically, zip up your jacket and get ready for La Fête des N eiges (January 2 2 to February 6), Les Rendez-vous du cinéma Québécois (February 17 to 2 7 ), and the umbrella festival Montreal High Lights (February 17 to 27 ). ^ La Fête des N eiges takes place on three consecutive weekends at Parc Jean-Drapeau on île Sainte-Hélène; included in this year's activity program are many long­ standing favourites, such as the 1 .5 km Skater's Path, inner tube sliding on 14 trails, horse and buggy rides, and even workshops for children on snow-sculpting. Since the early 19 8 0 s , La Fête des N eiges has offered dozens of mostlyfree activities for snow enthusiasts—or those who want to cure their instinctual winter hibernation. For more details and an upcoming event schedule, visit www.fetedesneiges.com , availab le in both French and English.

If you're still a little snow-shy, or simply feel deprived of culture, head to Les Rendez-vous du cinéma Québécois, which will once again offer a huge program of over 1 5 0 films ranging from art pieces to recent blockbuster hits. As with all other film festivals, the programming schedule takes place at a variety of locations; last year included sev­ eral eas'yHo-find theatres near Berri-UQÀM and Place-des-

Arts. For more information—et pour pratiquer votre français—visit rvcq.com .

Since its birth in 2 0 0 0 , Montreal High Lights contin­ ues to boast "three festivals in one." The S A Q W in e and Dine Experience shares the delicious treats our gourmet city has to offer as well as inviting guest chefs to share their secrets, the Hydro-Québec Celebration of Light illuminates the downtown area with gorgeous installations, perform­ ers; and other exhibits, and the Sun Life Financial Performing Arts repertoire treats eyes and ears to music, theatre, and especially dance. Event costs range from free to upwards of $ 1 0 0 . Plan your attendance by visiting the schedule at www.montrealenlumiere.com.

More of an intrepid traveler?

W hether you've experienced the fun of the above already and desire something different or you're simply one blessed with the resources to afford a car, you don't have to limit yourself to the 5 1 4 area code. Along with the much-loved trek to Q uebec City for winter carnival fun, festivals and events are hosted all over the province.

Following are only a few suggestions—you don't have to search for long before you find many more!

This weekend, Mont-Tremblant hosts the 10th anniver­ sary W orld Cup Freestyle'Skiing Competition. Even if you're one most likely to crash into a tree lest someone give you skis, you can surely appreciate those who fly with ease. Besides the attractive pull of the competition, there will be concerts and animation events for a change of pace. C heck out www.tremblant.com for more informa­ tion, but act fast as lodgings will fill up quickly.

From January 21 to February 6 , the small community of Saint-Côme invites locals and tourists alike to attend the Ice Sculpture Festival and explore the 5 0 + sculptures and evening entertainment events. For information and leftover holiday cheer in the form of the W e b site's soundtrack, visit w w w .stcom elanaudiere.ca.

If you're looking for an adrenaline rush, head out to the Thetford Mines in the Chaudière-Appalaches area for the annual snowmobile festival. Festival nord-américain de la motoneige et du VTT promises adventure on 150-km guided excursions, competitions for the experienced, and entertainment-filled dinners complete with aw ard s. If your heart's pumping already, e-mail balmoral@minfo.net for more information.

G o on, get more information on the above festivals if you're not convinced yet—you will be. Montreal and the surrounding areas offer too much to miss out on. Think of it as a dare: just try and stay indoors this winter! ■

THEATRE. B ro a d w a y — Casino de Montreal: Cabaret— 1 av. du Casino—until January 9. This week marks the last chance to be part of the Manhattan stage scene at the turn of the 20th century. Broadway showcases dancers, singers, and musicians recreating both the content and the style of 1 0 0 years of theatrical performances on N e w York City's famous strip. Come see bilingual repertoires of such famous shows as Evita, Singing in the Rain, Les M isérables, Chicago, Phantom o f the O pera, and many more. W h y spend seven hours on an N e w York-bound bus when these shows are just a 10 minute cab ride a w ay?

C all 3 9 2 -2 7 4 6 for information about specific performances.

ART. Jesus, M arie and Joseph!—Musée des Maîtres et Artisans du Québec—615 av.

Sainte-Croix—until January 9. A most-see for any world religions major, this gallery features works of art and historico-religious relics dating back as far as the 16th century. These works provide visceral details about the Holy Family and Nativity. Moreover, the museum itself is worth the trip; originally a Presbyterian church, it w as disassembled and re-established in Ville St-Laurent in the 19 3 0 s. It includes over 7 ,0 0 0 religious, cultural, and artistic objects dating back to early Q uebec society. C all 7 4 7 -7 3 6 7 for information and directions.

FILM. House of Flying Daggers—various theatres. Zhang Yimou's last movie to hit North America, Hero, raised some eyebrows with its overt nationalism and sketchy historical accuracy.

But it also revealed Zhang as an exemplary film­ maker who has remade himself into someone who tackles modern issues in a uniquely stylish way.

Zhang manages to combine a dizzying plot with stunning fight scenes and a strange kind of sensu­ ality, resulting in a combination that feels inherent­ ly right.

* e d u c a t i o n Ca n a d a !

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T e l : 5 1 4 - 9info(a>educationca 3 5 - 0 7nadacoliege.com 77

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a&e I 5.1.05 | th e mcgill tribune

a& e ^ jlu s ic

A&E stands for? a) apples & elephants b) anal & egotistical c) Arts & Entertainment If you chose "c" come write for the M c G ill Tribune.

W hat w as cool

arts@tribune.mcgill.ca

A look back at retro A&E

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DANIEL C H O D O S & S C O TT SAMEROFF n these hurly-burly modern times, it's easy to forget the past amid a persistent onslaught of electronic music, non­ stop documentaries, and reality TV. W e may recall a sim­ pler ag e, when the 21st century w as merely a glimmer in our collective eye. Perhaps the number one sign that our childhood is becoming a relic of history is the sudden erup­ tion of '"9 0 s nights" at various nightclubs around the city.

Indeed, there are those among us who remember when pornography wasn't available at the click of a mouse and "professional" wrestling actually involved wrestling. With these people in mind, w e present "What's Cool in the World of Retro."

M a rried ... With Children— "A fat woman walked into the shoe store to d ay ..." Ah,, who can forget good 'ol Al "Four Touchdowns in O ne G am e" Bundy, everyone's favourite primetime cynic. Whether he w as making a veiled sexist remark or simply flushing a toilet, Al never ceased to make us laugh. Though he may not have the p izzazz of a Ryan Seacrest or Jessica Simpson, at least he appeals to the common man.

O a s is —W hat's the Story, M id-'90s G lory? Despite releasing what many consider one of the most underrated debut albums of all time, these ornery Brits, led by brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher, seem to have fizzled in North America this century. Nevertheless, they deserve some props; it's not easy to rip off the Beatles' style—and get a w a y with it.

Nintendo—The new generation of kids will never appreciate the lost joys of 8-bit video games. At a time when controllers had just two buttons, w e were blasting a w a y wildlife in Duck Hunt, ripping through secret lairs in Zelda, and carefully maneuvering pill capsules in Dr. M ario. If the games became too dull, w e could alw ays incorporate G am e G enie or the G love. The technology may have been lacking somewhat, but that did not stop us from playing for hours on end.

Saved By The Bell—W h o can forget the hilariously stu­ pid adventures of Zack Morris, Screech, and, of course, the beautiful Kelly Kapowski? This G-rated sitcom is a far-cry from the sex, drugs, and mansions that fill its contemporary counterparts The O .C . and Dawson's Creek. In today's TV landscape, Zack would have surely been a drug dealer, and Kelly would have played the "overly-friendly" cheer­ leader. And does anyone else think that Gert's looks a hell of a lot like The M ax?

N e w Kids on the Block—I know I'm not the only one who knew all the words to such hits as "Hangin' Tough" and "Step by Step." After one too many failed com eback/solo albums, these guys have' been sentenced to an eternity of appearing on VH1 W here Are They N o w specials.

Slap bracelets—These things were all the rage in kindergarten. Kids used to w alk around with five or six of these multicoloured technological marvels up and down their arms. Unfortunately, some idiot managed to slice half his arm off with one of these contraptions, and the fun came to an end when they were permanently banned from schools.

M C Hammer—This guy w as such a star back in the day that he single-handedly made it cool to w ear parachute pants. W hen people cam e back to their senses, Hammer went bankrupt, and after a failed attempt to become "G angsta," he started preaching the word of the Lord.

Baseball card s—Fifteen years ago, it w a s actually cool to collect baseball cards. N o w it seems like this mun­ dane hobby is reserved for 40year-old single men and 10year-olds. If life and university somehow manage to fail us, w e know w e can alw ays fall back on our 5 ,0 0 0 strong col­ lection of baseball cards, including a Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card, that are currently gathering dust in the attic.

Sobriety—Remember when it w a s possible to get 10 of your best friends together, stay up all night, and manage to remain sober? W e sure as hell don't. Playing Duck Duck G o o se and Hide n' Seek just ceased to be fun once w e learned how easy it w as to go on a bigger adventure while sitting on the couch.

So if you're feeling drowned in a cultural wasteland in the present ag e, think back on these lost'nostalgic memories and smile. Just leave M C Hammer out of it, ■

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the mcgill tribune | 5.1.05 | a&e ] 9

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What's cool on cam pus?

Carnival provides a drunken escap e from the cold

ticipants enrobe themselves in "puke suits," often worn more as full-body badges of honour than for their practical value.

Though Carnival logic dictates a teanwersus-team mentali­ ty, the festivities are an ideal forum for making new friends and acquaintances. The day and evening events pit members from each team against those from others, in such liver-pummeling competitions as Century Club, boat races, and various creative relay races. However, each night the entire Carnival contingent attends a different Montreal nightspot.

Recently, school events like Winter Carnival have come under fire for encouraging excessive alcohol consumption: There is certainly some credence to this claim. After all, a traditional competition, known as ballroom, involves one person vomiting into a garbage bag held by a teammate while trying to chug three consecutive beers.

Partly in order to combat this issue, the Carnival itinerary has been altered in some cases to include events for those less inclined to drown themselves in booze.

"W e're introducing some new events to take more empha­ sis off just the partying," says Management Carnival coordina­ tor Panthea Lee. "We're trying to place a greater emphasis on charity as well this year. There are options for everybody to have a great time whether they're big partiers or not."

Hype W eek, which culminated with a 4Floors Party, took place in November, but now is truly the time for teanrts to get excited. "Burt Reynolds" and "Spank the Skank" return for anoth­ er go-round, but new teams are always welcome. Erik Jaeger, U3 Psychology and captain of Science greenhorn squad, "Trailer Trashed," can hardly wait for the party to get underway.

"It's the time of year when everyone gets together, school is not important, and we're all having fun."

DANIEL C H O D O S

O utfoxed shows extent of news network's unprofessionalism For the discerning lefty, you could do worse than Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's W ar on Journalism, the well-researched 2 0 0 4 documen­ tary by Robert G reenw ald that describes and decries the consistent right-wing bias in Fox News report­ ing. The fact that Fox is biased, of course, is hardly news to anyone who has been paying attention, but the extent to which the network carries out its Republican favouritism is shown here to be vast, consistent, and alarm­ ingly multi-faceted—the makings, you might even say, of a conspiracy.

Greenwald has assembled an impressive array of sources for his film: not only numerous media watchdogs and independent critics, but internal memos and former Fox anchors and editors as well. They show just how far Fox's prej­ udice can go. In one memo from April 2 0 0 4 , for instance, an executive strong­ ly hints that reporters should put a certain spin on news about John Kerry's war record: "[Kerry's] perceived disrespect for the military could be more damaging to the candidate than questions about his actions in uniform."

W hat might be even worse is that the forces behind Fox seem completely aw are of the power they wield over the American public. Another memo orders Fox reporters to treat the 9 / 1 1 Commission's findings of Bush's incompetence lightly: "Don't turn this into Watergate."

Quotations from Fox reporters and commentators are equally damning. Bill O'Reilly, one of the network's most infamous commentators, utters statements such as, "Once the war against Saddam begins, w e expect every American to sup­ port our military, and if they can't do that, to shut up." Sean Hannity keeps up a continuous countdown to Bysh's reelection. Indeed, Fox's motto, "Fair and bal­ anced," is undermined by the statistics of these shows: when Outfoxed came out, 83 per cent of one talk show's guests had been Republicans, and only 17 per cent Democrats.

The documentary's most interesting insights are the ways in which Fox sub­ tlety manipulates public opinion through underhanded methods, not just explicit statements. During the presidential election, the network muddied arguments, gave much of its coverage over to patriotic events or routine Republican campaign stops, and kept bringing up the idea that John Kerry is French-like, among other disingenuous intimations. This method of insinuation while avoiding outright lying is effective: according to a PIPA/Knowiedge Networks Poll in October 20Q 3, 33 per cent of Fox viewers believed the US had found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, compared to 1 1 per cent of PBS/NPR viewers and listeners. A full 6 7 per cent of Fox viewers bélieved that the US found links between Saddam Hussein and Al-Qaeda, with # 1partÿD estin a tio n ! only 16 per cent for PBS/NPR. Outfoxed doesn't exhibit much flair or sen­ Spendlessonyourtravel, moreonyourparty! sation, which helps to explain its poor recep­ tion outside of the predictable leftist circles in s $ 3 M \ ° y $ 1 6 9 the US. And, of course, it is hardly fair and bal­ C a n a d ia n $$ - taxes in c lu d e d - p e r p e r s o n ■ q u in t o c c u p a n c y anced either—Fox, after all, w as created in an PACKAGES meWDL > 5 n ig h t s b e a c h f r o n t a c c o m m o d a tio n s ! /£>*>•*tm * attempt to act as a balance to what it saw as > O p tio n a l r o u n d t r ip b u s tr a n s p o r ta tio n ! "liberal" news media such as C N N and the > F u ll s c h e d u le o f p a r tie s & n ig h t c lu b e v e n ts ! > O p tio n a l p a r t y n ig h t in New O r ie a n s > ~ - ~ ~ ~ a N e w York Times. Also, Outfoxed doesn't give any attention to the leftist conceits of magazines like Vanity Fair. But it does have something !Ali'ti important to say, and Fox's grossly unethical treatment of the news seems far more serious than any other major American media outlet in n t - B a f t a t u a g t C KDCHTIB the US. ■ call 1.800.465.4257 or 005.501.9774 —Sam Goffman Ont.fttg.twvm.lireakawaytours.coin Z4ZVC!-terma«Wcom üt/onaavaitaolefttinetfbwtingPricesm ay

h, January. Despite dispensing hundreds of dollars on textbooks and coursepacks, wearing five extra layers as protection from the cold, and panicking over the 10 pounds packed on over the break, this month does provide a glimmer of light. For veterans of the M cGill social scene, January represents Winter Carnival, an all-out clinic in binge drinking.

Often described as "Frosh for Older Kids," Carnival is run sep­ arately by three faculties, each one featuring more than a dozen teams of 2 0 or more students.

Though it is not generally considered as integral to the uni­ versity experience as Frosh W eek, Carnival is serious business for many folks at M cGill. Coordinators spend months planning the events, and some teams solidify their beer-guzzling skills throughout all of first semester.

The Management, Science, and Engineering faculties each administer.a unique Carnival program'. Nevertheless, there are no specific guidelines dictating who is allowed to join a team, provided the participants indeed attend M cGill. This pol­ icy is cold comfort for some Arts students, who long for a Carnival to call their own.

Science Carnival, beginning today, runs for four nights.

Most of the activities take place in the Shatner ballroom and the famous SnowAP tent on lower campus. One of the main attrac­ tions is a mystery bus tour, which last year took participants to Clyde's Bar in the West Island. Engineering Carnival, also known as E-Week, arguably boasts the besT drinkers of the school. Teams face stiff competition in events such as elevator races, in which team members attempt to drink a beer on each floor as their elevator descends to the ground. However, most More info for the newbies can be found at www.susonwould agree that Management offers the crème-de-la-crème of the carnival circuit. A week-long marathon of debauchery, par- line.net/carnival. ■

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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Soundtrack This quirky, genre-hopping soundtrack is as unfocused and far out as the movie, which is why it's so damn good. It combines original compositions from the talented Mark Mothersbaugh, Seu Jorges acoustic renditions of David Bowie classics in Portuguese, and some lost treasures of the early 19 7 0 s, includ­ ing The Zombies' "The W a y I Feel Inside" and Joan Baez's "Here's to You." Seu Jorge's emotional and simplistic ver­ sions of "Rock N ' Roll Suicide" and "Life on Mars" transcend all language barriers, as they juxtapose Bowie's haunting vision of super stardom, with a comedic, down and out, ocean exploring icon played by Bill Murray. Jorge's songs were recorded live on the different sets of the movie, including the decks of the Belafonte ship depicted in the film as it trav­ elled the open seas.

Those familiar with the theme music from W es Anderson's films, includ­ ing The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore, will relish in Mark Mothersbaugh's jazzy and delightful contributions to this soundtrack, which range from Beethoven-like classical pieces to funky snippets of techno right out of a primi­ tive video-game score. The movie is great in its own right and is worth seeing for the sole reason of watching Anderson and company ingeniously incorporate this unique mix of music into a coherent and oddly funny cinematic experience.* —Scott Sameroff

FOXED:

FLORIDA

Life's a beach for McGill athletes We know w hat they did this winter break DAN MCQUILLAN For most of us, the winter break is a time for relaxation and overeating, but believe it or not, even the holiday season wasn't enough to stop many of M cGill's finest athletes from working on their game. W h ile I w as lying on the couch watching S cro o g e d at home, the men's hockey team w as off plying its trade in France, the track ■and field and women's basketball teams were down in sunny Florida, and the swim team tested the waters of Venezuela. Each team left with clear objectives, and w e caught up with players and coaches before the break to ask what they had in store for their trips.

Men's hockey The 1Oth-ranked Redmen spent the holidays in the French Alps partici­

benefit his players' training and condi­ tioning.

Raymond believes that being able to play without worrying about exams and assignments off the ice is another reason why it is a good time for team building. The coach felt that his charges would fare well against the competition. Alternate Captain G reg LeBlanc expressed his excite­ ment about the quality , of teams that M cG ill would face, but also admitted that the team wouldn't be arriving in France with an "all work, no play" atti­ tude.

"W e have a couple days off . to get loose and go skiing in the Alps, or [go on] cultural visits to see how cheese and wine are made and then go off to Switzerland,” he said. It sounded like the Redmen hockey squad had a game plan for getting the most out of this trip.

ed athletes. But don't think these new friendships will lead to a soft M cG ill team because when it comes to com­ petition time, Barrett insisted that the friendship will be over.

Adrian W alton, a middle and long distance runner, unfortunately missed the boat this time around. He participated in the training camp in San Diego last year but chose to sit this one out. Walton believes that what he will miss out on the most by skipping the trip is team bonding, but that doesn't mean he's not also think­ ing about the weather.

"I'm out there grinding out a run in the snow, and I picture the rest of the team tanning on the beach," he lamented.

That's not an image. Barrett tried to refute, as he admitted that he and his staff try to keep the trip interesting.

With the beach a mere triple jump a w a y from the hotel, it's fair to say that our athletes will be representing our school in Red 'n' W hite swimsuits.

W e have a couple days off to get loose and go skiing in the Alps,

Women's basketball

or [go on] cultural visits to see how cheese and wine are made.

—Greg LeBlanc, Redmen hockey

pating in the esteemed Mont Blanc Tournament. During their short stay, the Red 'n' W hite contested five games; two against French pro teams and the other three against the French National A team and the Finnish and Russian National B teams. Head C o ach Martin Raymond intimated that he hoped to build a team on the trip that would "learn to play together and bring their play to another level."

Furthermore, Raymond suggested that the area's high altitude would strongly

THE

RED

Track and field The male and female members of the M cG ill track and field team soaked up the sun in O rlan do , Florida, over the holidays.

"The training camp gives the ath­ letes a chance to train in good condi­ tions, and allows time for team bond­ ing," according to H ead C o a ch Dennis Barrett.

He also stressed the importance of meeting athletes from other teams, and being in a community of like-mind­

Destination: Sunny Sebring, Florida. But don't be fooled; Coach Ryan Thorne is not looking to get a tan. This trip is strictly business with the Martlets focusing on moulding a young group into a cohesive unit.

The trip also includes some com­ petition against American schools, and the Martlets hope that the change of scenery will help them find their game and make serious strides for the rest of the season.

W h ile most of us were filling our bellies over the break, these athletes were hard at work keeping theirs slim.

Here's hoping that their efforts translate into the win column this winter. ■

YASEMIN EMORY

Unfortunately for him, Denburk Reid wasn't really on the sunny beaches of Florida this winter break, but his female eager counterparts were.

ZONE

Time for Toronto to shed its bum Rap 1 * 1 1 w as the best of times; it w as the worst of times. On I December 17, the Toronto Raptors parted w ays with I Vince Carter, shipping him to N e w Jersey in exchange for Eric W illiam s, Aaron W illiam s, Alonzo Mourning's med­ ical bills, and two first-round draft picks. In dealing Carter, the purple pachysephalosaurus eaters said goodbye to someone who w as at once the best player in the franchise's history, as well as its biggest baby.

Carter's inspired play led the Raptors to its first playoff series victory over the Knicks, but the following year, a Carter injury sparked a memorable late season rally to get Toronto into the playoffs and push the Pistons to five games, all without their star.

And so, even though Carter's is the only name that jumps out, the Nets-Raptors trade may not be as one-sided as it initially seems.

Carter's Jekyll-and-Hyde experience in Toronto had regressed to the point where "Air C an ad a" had become a cancerous malcontent whose unhappiness w as so appar­ ent that people have entertained ideas that he even tipped off set plays to opponents. Optimists rule the trade a victo­ ry for Toronto simply as a matter of addition by subtraction of the man some call "half man, half-a-season"; a play on his pre-crybaby handle of "half man, half am azing."

And it's not like the Raptors got nothing for him, either.

Eric W illiam s is a serviceable forward whose defensive play alone makes him a valuable addition, and the draft picks and salary cap relief the team gains in unloading Carter's maxed-out contract gives Toronto the assets it needs to surround promising sophomore Chris Bosh with talent. In short, the Raptors now have seeds to sow for the long haul.

But this is where it all gets dicey. Toronto is now in its 10th year of existence. In that time, the Raptors have made it to the playoffs three times, winning exactly one series.

The team has had two ownership groups, three general m anagers, six head co ach es, and zero stability.

Throughout its history, the Raptors have failed to earn the respect of the N BA , and little has changed so far in the team's brief history with G M Rob Babcock at the helm.

He underwhelmed basketball pundits everywhere with his hiring of Sam Mitchell as head coach, and alienated his star player in the process. W h ile Mitchell has found a w a y to increase the tempo of the plodding offensive attack that w a s so prevalent under former coach Kevin O 'N eill, his team has found a w a y to lose an astounding number of close games in the fourth quarter this season. At best, the jury is still out on Mitchell.

MOHIT ARORA

Mitchell and Babcock also failed to impress when they selected Raphael Araujo with the eighth pick in the 2 0 0 4 draft. The selection of the hard-nosed Araujo addressed the Raptors' weakness at centre, but nobody thought he merited such a high selection. Babcock could easily have traded down in the draft and gotten something of value for a lottery pick, and still selected Araujo near the end of the first round. Not only that, but Babcock could have maneuvered to give Toronto a shot at addressing iits other glaring w eak spot—point guard. But somehow, a deep draft class of young point guards cam e and went without Babcock snapping one up.

The time for action is now. Babcock has to find a w a y to unload the unhappy Mourning, who may yet refuse to report, along with the expensive Jalen Rose and Donyell M arshall. He has to be smart with these draft picks, because this year's draft is not expected to be terribly deep.

He has to spend wisely, because cap room is only as valu­ able as what you do with it. Mitchell has to continue to develop Bosh and Araujo into the formidable frontcourt the team has never had.

If the Raptors can't make people forget that they trad­ ed Vince Carter, then the team will prove itself to be the most forgettable franchise in the N BA . ■

ie mcgw trioui

PERSPECTIVE

Looking to get the best of both worlds

OFF

THE

BEATEN

PATH

Sluts are the finest athletes NATALIE FL E T C H E R

In our last issue, w e looked a t the steps of recruiting an d McGill's a p p e a l to student-athletes, In the final instalment of a tw o-part series, ADAM MYERS examines the current an d future status of this system, t M cG ill, w e strive to be a top-notch academ ic institution, putting forth goals that will allow the school to rival the world's other notable universities.

At the same time, w e may be expecting too much of our athletics programs, hoping to cash in on those rare commodities that are both athletic and academ ic phenoms.

However, M cG ill may be forfeiting its chance to acquire the country's best athletes in its attempts at getting the best minds.

Though a commendable action, w e should not confuse ourselves with the likes of Laval

A

standards. Because the university insists on maintaining a lofty entrance average (according to the 2 0 0 4 M aclea n s universi­ ty rankings, it was the highest in C an ad a), the Redmen and Martlets are at a consider­ able disadvantage when it comes to com­ peting against other C IS schools to garner enrolment commitments.

In what appears to be a growing trend among universities across the continent, such as traditional US football power Notre Dame, athletes must meet the same admis­ sion requirements as all other students.

hree men lick their lips in unison as they lean over the railing separating the bar from the mob of tweens getting down for the first time to bad remixes of the Vengaboys. It's all ages night at Toronto's Atlantis nightclub and this is hardly unusu­ al party behaviour. At midnight, the rotating floor stops and a handful of girls, bred on Dirty Dancing fantasies and body glitter, turn to the stage eager to see the scenestress of the moment belt out thé latest dance mix sensation to the tawdriest choreography.

A little to her left, further back, a much less glam­ orous and far more self-conscious gal tries to keep up with the steps, forcing a smile to mask sheer ter­ ror.

Yes, it's true. Before engaging in the highly sophisticated affair that is newspapering, I ventured into the not so respectable world of backup danc­ ing, as any normal 15year-old aspiring dancer would. Luckily, a torn hamstring sent me limping from that world back to the land of the thinking, but I did survive the glitzy wonder long enough to muster one astute observation: dancing like a slut is bloody hard work.

It tàkes much more than a desire to outwhore oneself and a bout of teenage horniness to master the art of shaking one's ass. "Dance like a slut; get fit now!"—who'd a thought I'd be espousing such an honourable maxim? W e'll get into the moral merits of my statement in a minute (actually, w e won't—keep your prudishness to yourself, I'm on the quest for the perfect workout) but first, let us con­ sider the possibility that really inappropriate fore­ play is the most undervalued method of calorie­ whipping out there.

I'm not gonna get graphic on you, but I will propose a sort of slut boot camp for those adventur­ ous gals looking to overcome their exercise plateaus. N o boys necessary, this is a personal development thing (delusion is fun, leave me alone).

Warm Up. Style is everything, says the cringe­ worthy lass exercising her slut factor without any sense of bodily control. I beg to differ. Without the ballet bod, a successful exhibitionist you will never become. The rule of thumb is this: if you're at all comfortable, you ain't doing it right. In a word: hold-your-stomach-in-without-tilting-your-pelvis-forw a rd -kee p-yo u r-s ho uId e rs-d o w n-e Ibo ws-a rc hedarms-elevated-l ike-you' re-hold ing-a-huge-beach-ball(work-with-me-here,-sarcasm-is-an-unacceptablewouldbe-slut-attitude),-turnyour-feet-out-from-the-hipsnot-the-ankles,-knees-must-be-straight-not-locked,keep-muscles-taut-and,-without-altering-the-aboverock-hard-frame,-holdyour-chin-upAvith-head-reachi ng-towa rds-the-cei Iing-a nd-feet-anchori ng-i nto-thefloor,-all-the-while-looking-graceful-and-serene...andTor-slut's-sake-don't-forget-to-breathe. This is your starting position. Maintain it at all costs.

Beginner Workout: The Cage Dance. You've seen 'em at Dôme: they're mini solitary confine­

T

McGill's lack of scholarships discourages stars like Jesse Lumsden from applying. and Alberta, which consistently produce competitive teams—to act like Harvard throughout the week only to expect Florida State on the weekend is folly and unfair.

Scholarships few and far between Indeed, this issue is more significant than one might think, and it's another thing that works against M cG ills attempts to attract athletes and field competitive teams.

W hile the N C A A lets universities award scholarships to cover tuition, books, food, and residence, C anadian Interuniversity Sport only allows scholarships to pay for tuition, so many athletes are lost to the US. Compounding this is the fact that schools like Laval and Université de Montréal have resources that allow them to allocate more money towards scholarships, with some even able to pay tuition for every athlete on a team. M cG ill, however, does­ n't apportion much money towards scholar­ ships, and is highly dependent on fundrais­ ing and alumni money to help its athletes— money that doesn't come in as frequently as needed.

Even when there is money, it goes to team veterans, rather than first-year players.

W hile this might seem like a good w a y to reward loyalty to a school and a program, M cG ill loses out by not offering first-year football players scholarships unless they are academ ically warranted—and the ability to receive money up front can be an important factor in a potential recruit's decision of where to attend university.

"W e are actively working with M cG ill to try to offer recruits more [scholarships]," says M arc Schryburt, Redmen football assis­ tant coach. "The school and alumni are [in the process of] making a foundation for those who are eligible." O f course, it may be years until such an organization is in place, and M cGill's teams will continue to suffer in the meantime.

Is McGill the next Notre Dame?

However, the largest factor working against recruiters is M cGill's high academ ic

"Only 1,0 per cent of athletes are consid­ ered to be M cG ill material because of this," says Schryburt.

O f course, one of the more important characteristics of any recruit is that he or she melds with the team's style of play, and coaches at every school rule put many out­ standing athletes for this reason. But M cG ill coaches must choose the players that mesh with their team's structure from an already substantially reduced group.

W hile many consider the notion of holding athletes to the same standard as everyone else to be common sense, critics argue that it puts too much emphasis on academ ic ability, and doesn't acknowl­ edge the contribution that winning sports teams bring to the university community.

W h at is definite, however, is that the policy has reverberating impacts. At Notre Dame, the football program, in particular, has suf­ fered recently as a result, and as M cGill's major sports teams (football, hockey, and basketball) have dropped from supremacy in recent years, the question needs to be asked: Are academ ic requirements prevent­ ing our teams from winning?

What to expect...

Recruiting is clearly a laborious, timeconsuming and difficult process, especially at a university where only the football team has more than one full-time staff member, and many squads are without full-time head coaches. The burden on those who look for incoming freshmen is already so large and the struggle against institutional factors and external rules so great that at times it seems pointless to search for potential recruits, knowing that in all likelihood they will never end up donning the red and white uniform.

And yet, after their competition for the year is done, these coaches press on, looking for players down the street and half a world aw ay. After all, next season is coming up fast, and someone has to replace those departed seniors. ■

ments that host the city's most slovenly "hotties" bouncing this way. They're also lean, mean, exer­ cising machines. Pretend the bars are your barre: plié, developé, écarté, décolleté... err, focus, please. Not feeling the sketchy Ste-Catherine stretch? N o cage required. Delude yourself into thinking you're trapped and it'll keep you from flail­ ing your arms and hair like a mad woman.

Remember Patrick: This is my dance space, that's your dance space—I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine.

Muscles worked: Reinforces abductors, teres majors, and rhomboids; strengthens external obliques, latissimus dorsi, posterior deltoids, and agoraphobia.

Suggested music: “The Bad Touch" by The Bloodhound G an g.

Intermediate Workout: The Strip Tease. Start fully dressed. And I mean fully: suspenders, snowpants, medieval armour—the chain mail will add resistance. Your goal isn't to get naked so much as relieve yourself of unnecessary layers without trip­ ping over them in your six-inch hooker boots. (The higher the heels, the. harder the calves; may this be your mantra.) It's a balancing act and you're danc­ ing with accessories here so no'alcoholic assis­ tance—that's cheating. Very important: stretch before you strip. Flexibility is the strip teaser's best friend. If you can do splits against the wall, you're set—until then, don't embarrass yourself attempting full kicks with bent legs. W e're going for class here.

Muscles worked: Strengthens gastrocnemius, transverse abdominis, adductors, middle back, and chest; develops trunk stability and nymphomania.

Suggested music: "I wanna sex you up" by Colour M e Badd.

Advanced Workout: The Lap Dance. N o w the name is misleading: you may be straddling, but you're not sitting on any lap here. None of this "ooh, wouldn't it be sexy if I rested my lazy ass on your groin for a minute" nonsense. The idea is to have such strong stems that you can hover on your knees or toes without ever using your playmate as a bench. This requires a lot of pre-emptive plan­ ning: squats, lunges, thigh sweeps, tilts and bridges, and much pulsing of all of the aforemen­ tioned. Also test out different surfaces: the stranger the texture, the harder your legs have to work to keep you up. You want to make this look effortless.

Not a back bender? Don't try full body waves before befriending Pilâtes and yoga. Love the Downward Dog. Muscles worked: Strengthens gluteus maximus, quadriceps, hamstrings; rectus abdominis and spine extensors, as stabilizers; whittles a w a y abdominal fat and selfesteem issues.

Suggested music: "Pony" by Ginuwine.

Still in heat? Join informal group sessions in my living room, most weekends, mostly ridiculous. ■

2 2 sports 1 5.105

N F L

1

the mcgill tribune

P L A Y O F F

P R E V I E W

A tight fit Tight ends key to playoff :

A N D R E W S EG A L Part offensive lineman, part w ide receiver, NFL tight ends are often overlooked, forsaken for the flashy running backs they create I holes for and the glitzy w ide receivers who flank them. Yet these usually offensively-dormant behe{ moths stepped out of the shadows in 12 0 0 4 and emerged as statistical leaders on their teams and key offen. sive weapons.

To be fair, some pundits have ' finally acknowledged the presence of the TE this season, even dubbing the recently completed NFL campaign "the year of the tight end." But even beyond Kansas City's Tony Gonzalez's 102 catches—he was |the only player, tight end or otherwise, to surpass 1 0 0 —these versatile pass catching and blocking / hybrids are even more integral to overall team success than they're 1given credit for O f the 1 2 teams that made the playoffs this season, nine had tight ends that ranked among | the top 16 at their position in receiv| ing yards. Or, put another w ay, 7 5 per cent of playoff teams had tight ends who were among the best 5 0 per cent leaguew ide—a dispropor­ tio n ate ly high amount.

O nly Pittsburgh, St. Louis, and the N ew York jets were without an ovorachieving T E —although despite a shortage of receiving yards, the Jets' Chris Baker did contribute four touch­ downs.

W hile some of these numbers car- be attributed to the fact that playoff-bound teams tend to have better offences overall, there's another rea­ son that strong tight ends make sucfcessful teams—production in the red zone. Big TEs are especially effective at getting open in the end zone on short goal-logo situations, and even if they can't contribute as much to the passing game as G onzalez, they | provide an extra weapon when it comes to putting up points that can help propel a team to a postseason i spot and beyond. By w a y of exam­ ple, the Patriots' Daniel Graham had I:just 3 0 catches on the season, but | seven went for scores, enough to give him a share of the team lead, and he nearly single-handedly won an. early season game for his team.

But he's just one of the many tight ends who will influence their team's /playoff fortunes. Below, a look at i/some of the others, and how their /performances will impact their play­ off matchups.

Antonio Gates, San Diego Chargers. 81 receptions, 964 yards, 13 TDs. The former Kent State basketball player broke out in just his second season, setting an NFL record for {touchdown receptions at his position, and as he goes, so goes the Chargers' offence. The biggest { impact tight end in the playoffs, nearsly half of Drew Brees's passes for scores and almost one-third of his throwing yards involved Gates, and no other Charger had more than four touchdown receptions. If the Jets can shut the 6 '4 ," 260-pounder down, it {w ill be tough for the Bolts passing {gam e to get going, allowing N ew {York to key on LaDanjan Tomlinson

and spelling Chargers.

New York Jets ( 10-6) at San Diego Chargers ( 12-4) Saturday, 8pm on ABC

Denver Broncos (10-6) at Indianapolis Colts (12-4) Sunday, 1pm on CBS

lights

out for theft

Alge Crumpler, Atlanta Falcons. 48 receptions, 774 yards, 6 TDs. Michael Vick has struggled in the West Coast offence, but when he's been on, he's found Crumpler, who has 17 plays of longer than 2 0 | | yards—tops at his position. The: 6 '2 ," 262-pound graduate of North Carolina is Vick's only reliable target, and he'll need to be on his game if the Falcons expect to get by a team with offensive firepower—like Green Bay, their potential second-round opponent.

Jermaine Wiggins, Minnesota Vikings. 71 receptions, 7 0 5 yards, 4 TDs. Guess who the Vikings' leading receiver w as this season? Not the petulant Randy Moss or the speedy Nate Burleson, but W iggins, who g only emerged when Jim Kleinsasser | | went down with an injury. W iggins w as quiet as the Vikings performed their usual collapse down the stretch, but he did play a large role in the Vikings' early wins, which put them in position to claim a wild card berth.

He's always a threat to score, espe­ cially in short yardage situations, he keeps defences honest when it comes to double-covering Moss. | Green Bay's tattered secondary needs to watch out for W iggins.

Dallas Clark and Marcus Pollard, Indianapolis Colts. 25 receptions, 423 yards, 5 TDs (Clark); 29 receptions, 309 yards, 6 TDs (Pollard).

The Colts' high-octane offence isn't only dependent on the three standout w ide receivers; the twoheaded tight end monster of Clark and Pollard get into the act too, as they combined to catch 1 1 of Peyton Manning's record 4 9 touchdown tosses. Defences can never know which targets Manning will hit, so despite their relative lack of speed compared to Harrison and C o ., Clark and Pollard have to be consid­ ered scoring threats —making the task of stopping Indy's offence that much more difficult.

Bubba Franks, Green Bay Packers. 34 receptions, 361 yards, 7 TDs. Brett Favre's favourite red zone target can sneak up on team: i shown by his ratio of one touchdown grab per five receptions, he might not catch a pass for most of the game and be out of a defender's mind, only to appear over the middle clutching the ball in the end zone for a key score. The 6 6 , ’ 265-pound veteran found paydirt in the tw o ll games the Pack played against the Vikings this year (both 34-31 victo­ ries for Green Bay), so Minm needs to make sure not to forge* about him.

Quarterbacks Peyton Manning at home (2 ,6 0 4 yards, 2 6 TDs, 6 INTs) compared to Jake Plummer on the road (1 ,8 9 6 yards, 10 TDs, 10 INTs)? This matchup's not even close.

Advantage: Backs and receivers Rod Smith and Ashley Lelie stack up well with the Colts' trio, but Denver Head C o ach M ike Shanahan's decision to split carries between Tatum Bell and Reuben Droughns might prevent either from getting going, while Edgerrin James has looked strong.

Advantage: 0 X éssh Offensive line Denver's O-line is undersized but composed of phenom­ enal run blockers, while Indy's line has given Manning plenty of time in the pocket all season.

Advantage: Even Rush defence Denver's front seven is stout, holding opponents to just 3 .8 yards per carry. M eanwhile, the Colts, despite an offence that forces teams to pass and play catcn-up, rank near the bottom of the league in rush yards allowed.

Advantage: Pass defence The Broncos' much-vaunted passing defence has strug­ gled Since defensive backs coach David G ibbs w as fired m idway through the season, but it's still better than Indy's, even with NFL sack leader Dwight Freeney applying pressure. The M ile High faithful can thank new acquisition Cham p Bailey for that.

Advantage: Æ fc life Special teams Jason Elam and C anad ian M ike Vanderjagt are both as solid as they come; Indy punter Hunter Smith can boom them downfield on the rare occasion he's needed.

Advantage: ^ \

Backs and receivers At ag e 3 1 , Curtis Martin became the oldest player to cap­ ture the NFL rushing title, but you can bet LaCianian Tomlinson would have been in the thick of things had he been healthy all season. Even with the injury, Tomlinson still managed an NFL record 1 2-game touchdown streak, and has rushed for over 1 0 0 yards in three of his last four games.

Advantage: jfiS b Offensive line Both teams' lines have created holes for the backs and kept opposing defenders a w a y from their respective quar­ terbacks.

Advantage: Even Rush defence Despite being in a division that features Priest Holmes and whichever back Denver puts in,, the Chargers, led by line­ backer Donnie Edwards, only allowed 8 1 .7 rush yards per game. The Jets weren't far behind though, and were one of just six teams to keep opponents below 1 0 0 yards.

Advantage: Pass defence The Jets have two strong pass rushers in John Abraham and Shaun Ellis, and rookie safety Erik Coleman plays the pass well. The Chargers can't compete with that, as they rank second to last in the NFL in pass yards against and third to last in sacks.

Advantage: Special teams Explosive kick returner Tim Dwight provides the Chargers with good field position, while rookie kicker Nate Kaeding has shown accuracy and range. Veteran N e w York kicker Doug Brien has also been impressive, connecting on 1 1 field goals of 4 0 + yards.

Advantage:

X-factor Shanahan can be unpredictable to the point of selfdestruction, and lately, his teams have been playoff flops, whereas the Colts' and Head Coach Tony Dungy have had some recent early-round post-season success.

W h ile Denver's win over Indy last w eek could provide a boost even though the game meant nothing to the Colts, playing on home turf should make the Horseshoes all but impossible to beat.

X-factor The Jets beat the Chargers in the second week of the sea­ son, but that w a s before Brees and co. got on the same page. N e w York is also just 3-5 against teams that finished better than .5 0 0 this season, and stumbled to a 4-5 record down the stretch, while San Diego's only loss in its last 10 w as by a field goal against the Colts.

Indianapolis by 13

San Diego by 6 -Andrew Segal

—Andrew Segal

How to beat Pittsburgh

How to beat New England

The Steelers last lost w a y back in W e ek Two, which

The Dolphins beat N e w England largely by fluke, so the only true blueprint for those teams with a potential second-

w as the last game before w e saw rookie quarterback Ben Roethlisberger light up the league. But it should be noted that Big Ben is still an NFL freshman, and the playoffs are a different story than the regular season. If teams can frustrate him and get inside his head, he might lose focus. Beyond that, here's what potential sec­ ond-round opponents can do to topple the Steel Curtain.

San Diego: The Chargers defence will be the key. They

round matchup against the Patriots is Pittsburgh's Halloween victory. The Steelers attacked N e w England's injury-ravaged secondary, picking on backup Randall ( 5ay after Ty Law left the game, and forced the Patriots into uncharacteristic turnovers. In addition to that, here's what those teams who could face N e w England in the second round could do.

Indianapolis: The Pats' most likely opponent, they would

can stop the run, which is important against the double-

have knocked off the defending champs in the season's

barreled attack of Duce Staley and Jerome Bettis, but if

first game if not for two lost fumbles and an uncharacteris­

the defensive backfield can tighten up and shut down

tic Vanderjagt miss, If Indy protects the ball, they'll have a

Hines W ard and Plaxico Burress, Pittsburgh's offence could stall and leave the Steelers ripe for a loss.

shot. Also, if the Colts' high-powered offence can force

New York: The jets lost 17-6 to the Steelers earlier this season, largely on a trick play touchdown pass thrown

by Bettis; N e w York had played the Steelers tight before that. Pittsburgh's offence isn't particularly high-scoring

N e w England to play from behind, something Brady and C o . aren't not used to doing, it could fluster the Pats.

San Diego: W hile the Patriots sometimes appear to depend entirely on the pass (witness their season-opening series against the Colts), C orey Dillon has made their

and their biggest defensive weakness is at cornerback,

offence move much more smoothly this year than last. If

so if quarterback C h ad Pennington can put up some points—and find speedy big-play receiver Santana Moss, who has struggled with Pennington under cen­

San Diego's tough run defence can shut him down and keep the Pat's time of possession low, and then control the

tre—the Jets can steal this game.

game by pounding with Tomlinson, they could pull off the upset.

Denver: Likewise, Denver will have to turn to the air, as

New York: The Jets need to use their strong pass rush to

the Broncos strong running attack might be neutralized

get in Brady's face, and force him to make quick, and sometimes bad, decisions. Bradys shown a penchant for

by Pittsburgh's league-best rushing defence. That means that Jake Plummer can't make mistakes, especially

Other potential game-breaking tight ends to watch for: Jeb Putzier, Denver (36, 572, 2); L..J. Smith and Chad Lewis, Philadelphia (34, 377, 5; 29, 267, 3)

Quarterbacks After the Chargers all but gave up on him, Drew Brees has been a revelation this year, but the Jets' C had Pennington has also been efficient Advantage:

against Pittsburgh's opportunistic defensive unit, which finished third in the league with five touchdowns scored.

If Plummer plays nearly flawlessly (a tall order to say the least), Denver might pull off a second straight upset.

—Andrew Segal

throwing crazy passes while under pressure in recent weeks (one resulted in the interception that won the game for the Dolphins), so if the Jets make him uncomfortable they could take advantage.

—Andrew Segal

the mcgill tribune j 5.1.05 | sports St. Louis Rams (8-8) at

Minnesota Vikings (8-8) at

Seattle Seahawks (9-7)

Green Bay Packers ( 10-6)

Saturday, 4:30pm on ABC

Sunday, 4:30 on Fox

ROUND

Quarterback M arc Bulger and Matt Hasselbeck both struggled mightily

Quarterback Look at how much fun Brett Favre haswhile playing. He's like a kid

this year for their respective teams. Nothing says an N FC

out there. He just loves the game of football. Blah blah blah. There

W est quarterback like a 3-TD, 4-INT game.

are two great quarterbacks in this game, and one of them is as big

Advantage: Even

as a house.

Advantage: Even

Offensive line Both teams offer their backs good protection, but St. Louis isn't the same without injured wild man Kyle Turley at tack­

Offensive line Minnesota has size and strength up front that nobody else in the

le. Seattle has been running off-tackle behind Steve

league can match, much less the Packers. Anybody can run for 1 0 0

Hutchinson all season.

Advantage: â j >

yards behind the Viking line, and this season, just about anybody has.

Advantage:

Backs and receivers The fact that w e can even debate this shows you how far

weapons the Seahawks can't match.

Backs and receivers The enigmatic Moss isn't enough to match up against Green Bay's tal­ ented group. The Pack has the versatile Ahman Green at running back, and a budding superstar in javon W alker at wideout.

Advantage:

Advantage:

Rush defence Neither team is dominant in stopping the run, but Seattle

Rush defence Green Bay is a little more effective against the run than the Vikings.

is just a little less lousy, whereas the Rams were second worst in the N F C . With good running backs on both

The key to the Packers' success in stopping the ground game is defen­

teams, look for the ground games to excel.

Advantage:

the Rams have fallen since their Super Bowl years. But aside from the declining Marshall Faulk, St. Louis still has

sive tackle G rad y Jackson, 3 4 0 pounds of run-stopping goodness.

Advantage: Pass defence

Pass defence This is the reason why Sundays game will be so much fun to watch.

St. Louis is steady in defending the pass, while the 'H aw ks employ an aggressive secondary that gets a lot

Vikings especially seem helpless out there, with more balls flying over

Both of these teams are atrocious in stopping an aerial attack. The their heads than Paris Hilton.

Advantage:

of interceptions, but also gets burned often.

Advantage: Special teams Neither team has anyone too dangerous returning kicks or punts, but St. Louis gives up the most yards on punt

Special teams Green Bay kicker Ryan Longwell is one of the steadiest in the NFL, and he looks like he doesn't realize it is -20 degrees when he's lining

Advantage: (fag

up the kick.

Advantage:

X-Factor The Rams have won both matchups this year, and they

X-Factor W ith Minnesota, the guy to watch is Moss. If he wants, he can take

returns in the N F C .

say you can't beat a team three times in one season. If

a game over all by himself. If Moss wants to be found, Culpepper

there is any coach out there who can prove that dictum

will find him. O f course, the Vikes would still have to stop Green Bay on offence, but lion-hearted Favre has something to say about that.

false, it's not M ike Martz.

Green Bay by 6

Seattle by 6 —M ohit Arora

How to beat Philadelphia Philly romped through the N F C this year without anyone even closely resembling a worthy adversary. Then Terrell O w ens went down, and the Eagles looked a lot more like the team that has lost three straight conference champi­ onships. With O w ens, the Eagles have guys at every posi­ tion that can change a game. Without him, the Eagles have a set of receivers who couldn't force double cover­ ag e out of the Olsen twins.

The recipe for beating Philly is easy if O w ens is on the sideline: M ake the receivers beat you. Load up on the run, spy M cN a b b so he can't break off too many runs, and cordially invite him to throw to alligator-armed Todd Pinkston and C o .

Philly's defence, on the other hand, is of the bend-but-don'tbreak variety. The Eagles lost their two starting cornerbacks from last year, and their secondary hasn't been quite the same. But while the N F C East champions give up a lot of yards, this doesn't translate into points for the opposition.

W ith opportunistic hitmen like safety Brian Dawkins, the Eagles make you work hard for your scores Seattle: The Seahawks' best chance of winning in Philly is by running Shawn Alexander effectively enough to open up the passing game. Hasselbeck has to be accurate, and the Seahawks receivers have to hold on to the ball.

Minnesota: With Westbrook and Pinkston on the field, the Eagles aren't the toughest team in the world. The Vikings have to bully Philly's offence and simply outscore them.

St. Louis: The Rams' secondary is solid, but they don't inter­ cept nearly enough passes. If they can force M cN a b b to to make a few bad throws, they have the offensive fire­

_ —M ohit Arora

How to beat Atlanta N ever has an 11-5 team been so unimpressive. The Falcons may have cruised to their second-place seed, shutting down for the last two weeks of the regular season, but nobody forgets for a second just how poor their division w as all year. Atlanta, with the most physically gifted athlete ever to w e ar a helmet directing the offence, won this year with their defence. Atlanta won their games by shutting down the run, with a fast and ferocious unit that tracked down ball carriers effectively. Atlanta didn't fare so well defending the air, but still took the ball a w a y from opponents enough to gain some respect.

O n offence, the Falcons are about as unconventional a s it gets.

M ichael Vick's numbers this year are pretty much atrocious, as his learning curve w as stunted by the implementation of the W est Coast offence. Vick eventually broke free of the constraints on offence and used his legs to open things up. Vick ran for over 9 0 0 yards this year, which fit in well with W arrick Dunn's 1 ,1 0 0 and bruising T.J. Duckett and chipping in with over 5 0 0 . It's a good thing Atlanta w as able to run the ball so well, because their receiving corps w a s a no-show this season.

Atlanta may be flawed, but beating them is easier said than done.

The things they are best a t—running the ball and stopping the ru n are only the most fundamental things in football. And Vick commands so mucn special attention that you revamp your defence to account for him, and that's when he finds Crumpler in the end zone.

Green Bay: To protect Favre, the Pack needs to get the ball into W alker's hands on short slants and let him run. Green Bay's defensive ends must keep contain to prevent Vick from running wild. Ahman Green and N ajeh Davenport need to move the ball on the ground.

Seattle: if the Seahawks spy Vick with C h ad Brown, someone needs to pick up the slack covering Crumpler. But Shawn Alexander is big enough to grind out yards on offence and keep Vick off the field. Any turnovers will kill Seattle.

Minnesota: Culpepper, Moss, and the rest of the Vikings offence need a huge day, putting as many points up as they can. If Minnesota's offence stays on the field, then their defence cannot blow the game for them.

power to outduel them

THE

HORN

Redmen go winless in overseas tournament The men's hockey team put up a fight against some tough national squads but failed to emerge with a victory at the 20th annual Mont Blanc tournament, held in France in the last days of December.

The Redmen's first tilt w as on December 2 7 , where they fell 9-3 to the Russian National B team. Doug Orr scored twice for the Redmen, while defenceman Rhéal Guenette of C alg ary added a lone marker. The Redmen were clearly rusty in their first game in four weeks, and were outshot by a 5519 margin. Rookie goalkeeper Mathieu Poitras prevented the game from getting further out of hand by making 4 6 saves, an effort that earned him the designation of M cGill's player of the game.

The following night against the Finnish National B team, the Redmen jumped out to a 1-0 first period lead on a goal

by Guenette, but that w as all they would get, as the Finns went on to a 4-1 victory. The game-winner came midway through the second period courtesy of Juha-Thomas Lehtinen, following an errant clearing attempt by M cG ill netminder Patrice G odin, who made 3 2 saves in the loss. Pierre-Antoine Paquet w as named player of the game, and the Redmen played without blueliner Daniel Jacob, w ho w as out with a foot injury suffered against the Russians, and Orr, who w as sidelined with a stomach ailment.

In their third game in three nights, the Redmen were shutout 2-0 by the French National A team. Mathieu Poitras w as stellar in net, making 41 saves to score another player of the game aw ard , but the Redmen offence couldn't get going against French goalie Christophe Brunet, who w as named his team's player of the game.

The Redmen rounded out their trip by playing two games against top teams in the French national league. In the first, the team lost 7-6 to Briançon on a goal scored with just over two minutes to go that w as accidentally knocked in the net by a M cG ill defenceman. Eric L'Italien scored twice for the Redmen against les Diables Rouges, who feature five C anad ian players in their lineup, including M ark Rycroft of the St. Louis Blues. As of press time, the score of the other game against M orzine w as unavailable.

Following their return home, the Redmen have time to relax, as they don't play another game until January 16 against O ttaw a, and don't play a home game until January 2 2 , when they host the Concordia Stingers.

Close but no cigar for Redmen bailers The M cG ill basketball team couldn't ring in the new year on a high note, as they lost their last two games at the Ryerson Ed DeArmon Memorial Basketball Tournament by slim margins to finish the tourney at 1-2.

The team started off on a high note, defeating the host Rams 8 7-74 on December 2 8 . Third^ear forward Greg Rembeyo led the w a y with 2 3 points and eight rebounds, while Derek Armstrong and Denburk Reid each added 19.

The Redmen managed to pull a w a y by with hot shooting, as they connected on 6 5 per cent of their attempts from the Field.

The Redmen couldn't keep it going the next d a y against the Toronto Varsity Blues, falling 8 4-79. The Redmen had the ball down by three points with 1 8 seconds to go,- but were unable to pull off the win. That M cG ill even kept the game close w a s impressive, given the discrepancy in free throw attempts; the Redmen attempted just six free throws, convert­ ing four, while the Blues made 2 5 of their 3 5 chances from the charity stripe.

The Redmen finished the tournament with another close loss on December 3 0 , losing 77-71 to the .York Lions despite Rembeyo's best efforts. In addition to scoring 15 points, the emerging star grabbed an astounding 2 3 of M cGill's 4 3 total rebounds, a performance that helped get him named to the tournament all-star team. Armstrong added 2 4 points, while Reid chipped in with 1 1 in the losing cause for the Redmen in a game that saw 6 '8 " Adam Thompson get his first career start, in which he recorded three points and five rebounds.

There's no rest for the w e ary Redmen, who played three games in three days at the tourney, as they return to M cG ill in time to go on the road against the Bishop's Gaiters on

O N

D E C K

MARTLETS H O CKEY—Concordia's Theresa Humes Tournament, Friday through Sunday @ Concordia's Ed Meagher Arena The 10th-ranked Martlets get a tune-up for the tough Q uebec conference competition they'll face in the sec­ ond half of the season at the annual tournament.

Participating teams include M cGill's main rivals, Ottawa and Concordia, as well as three teams from Ontario, the Regina Cougars, and the Plattsburgh (NY) State University Cardinals. M cGill's first game is against W ilfrid Laurier, and depending on the outcome, their next game will pit them against either Regina or Queen's.

—M ohit Arora

M ohit Arora

23

IVIake t h e m a s t a f y a u r u n iv e r s it y e d u ca tio n ,

G e t y o u r t h r ills fro m M cGill M in ic o u rs e s 5 5 M U

M in i- C o u r s e s : F u n , in e x p e n s iv e , w e b s it e

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w w w .s s m u .m c g ill.c a / m in i o r c o n t a c t u s

m in i@ s s m u .m c g ill.c a

W in e t a s t i n g Learn all you need to know about the wonderful world of wines! Our experienced instructor, sommelier at one of Montreal's finest restaurants, will teach you the difference between all the major kinds of wine. Become an expert and get to taste them all in one afternoon!

Cost: $55.1 day course. Beginners Saturday January 29th, 12• 3pm. Intermediate Saturday February 13th, 12-3pm M o d e r n B a llr o o m D a n c in g Have you always wanted to dance like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, but never had the time to take lessons? Now is your chance! Learn the waltz, foxtrot and more. Leather soled shoes are recommended. Cost: $45. Times: Wednesdays 4:30-6pm Tango Tango is this one dance where making mistakes is alright. If you make a false step and get tangled up, it's o k ... you just tango on! Come, join us, and discover this wonderful dance.

Times: Thursdays 8 to 9:30 pm S a ls a Everybody likes to say ’Salsa!" Just like the music, the dance is also a wild mix of everything - emotions, tempos, spins, dips, drops, syncopations, a little Mambo here, a little Cha Cha there, perhaps a pinch of Argentine. This year w e offer you our very talented and patient instructor, Billy.

Cost: $45. Times: Beginners: Mon 6-7 pm or Wednesdays 7:30-8:30pm. Intermediate: Wed 8:30 to 9:30pm In t r o t o b a r te n d in g Think your drinks could use a bit more creativity? Think Absolute Bartending!

Offered in collaboration with this renowned institute, you'll be the best host around with this new found skill! During this amazing-value class you will familiarize yourself with shaking, equipment set up, fruits and garnishes, glassware and of course preparation (and tasting!) of various classic cocktails and drinks. With the option of continuing next semester for certification with a discount, you can't lose with this mini-course! Visit our website for more, or check out theirs at www.absolutebartending.com Cost: $60. Sections: 1) Jan 21, 28. 2)Feb 11, 18. 3)Mar 4, 11.

4)Mar18, 25. 5)Apr 1, 8. Times: 6-9pm.

F re n ch Want to travel to France but cannot speak the language? Get a grip on all the French you need to get around in any Francophone city around the world. The beginner's class is a complete introduction to the course, while intermediate is for students who still remember their high school French. Break out that Bescherelle!

Cost: $45. Beginners: Mon 4:30-6pm or Mon 6-7:30pm or Wed 7:15-8:45 pm , 1 class TBA. Intermediate: LEVEL1: Tues 4:30-6pm. LEVEL2: Tues 6-7:30pm S p a n is h

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P ilâ te s Pilâtes is a wonderful exercise system focused on improving flexibility and strength for the entire body without building bulk.

Watch your body become toned throughout the semester as you learn a series of controlled movements engaging your body and mind. Registration is limited; register early. (7 weeks long) Cost: $50. Times: Mondays 7-8 pm B r e a k d a n c in g This course is an introduction to the wild styles of breakdance.

As w e learn the foundations of toprocking, footwork, and freezes, w e will explore the essential elements of style rhythm and movement invention. Bring your knee pads! (Although the class is for beginners, some moves may be physically challenging.)

Cost: $45. Times: Mon 4:30-6pm G r o o v e d a n c in g (H o u s e In s p ir e d J Taught by our wonderful breakdandng instructor, the groove class is a dance class mixing techniques of jacking, house, jazz, latin and tap. Using soulful house rhythms as a sound-scape, the dass carries a feeling of Fred Astaire, focusing on fast feet work and lots of grooving. Get ready to slide, bop and bounce!

Cost $45. Times: Thurs 4:30-5:30pm Yoga Kripalu Yoga calms the body and quiets the mind, creating inner stillness. This hatha yoga practice tones and strengthens muscles, increases flexibility, oxygenates the blood, improves the immune response and integrates mind and body. You will leave energized yet relaxed, ready to face whatever else is going on in your life. Cost: $45. Times: Thurs 5:30-6:30pm G u ita r (B e g in n e r . In t e r m e d ia t e J Have you always wanted to master this instrument but never got the chance? Even got a guitar, but private lessons were so expensive that you decided to forget about it? Our extremely popular Guitar class is the solution! Get your roommate's guitar and learn guitar at a fraction of the price of private lessons!

Cost: $45. Beginner: Monday 7:30-9pm or Wed 5:45-7:15pm Intermediate: Mon 6-7:30pm S p e e d r e a d in g Run by the Harris Institute, this extremely popular speed reading course is once again being offered at McGill. This 1-day dass always gets rave reviews and regularly has students improving 50-150% in reading speed, while also helping them improve comprehension and retention. Cost: $50. Date: 1 day course : Feb:5 or 6 or 19 or 20, 9:30am - 4:30pm K u n g -Fu Everybody loves Kung-Fu Fighting! That's right, here's your chance to kick like Jackie Chan! Kung-Fu can benefit everyone, young and old, male and female, as it uses breathing and meditation techniques derived from the Taoist System to keep the body resilient, the mind active and in harmony.

Cost: $45. Times: Wednesdays 6-7:30pm

(B e g in n e r L e v e l I. B e g in n e r L e v e l

B , In t e r m e d ia t e (c a n v e r s a t io n a l) ) Need to brush up the Spanish skills for Christmas break? We've hired two extremely experienced teachers with first hand teaching experience in Mexico and Spain who will make sure you fall in love with the Spanish Language and Culture!

Cost: $45. Beginners: Tues 7:30-9pm or Wed 7-8:30pm.

Intermediate: Wed. 5:30-7pm

M a ssa g e Think your loved ones love you? They'll love you more when you finish this class; this is one skill you just have to master! Our experienced massage instructor will teach you a variety of mas­ sages on professional massage beds, focusing on using pressure to release blocked energy while reducing pain. Partners recom­ mended. (8 weeks long). Cost: $60. Times: TBA

B e llg d a n c in g Have you always wanted to learn to shake your hips like Shakira? Do you wish you had her hard-as-rock abs? Well this class will give you both! Our new, very talented Instructor will teach you this beautiful, endearing Middle Eastern art-form often known as "Hip-dancing".

Cost: $45. Times: Thurs. 6:30-8pm

S e lf- D e fe n s e S e m in a r Walking home alone at night? Make sure you have the tools to protect yourself in any potentially dangerous situation. This course will teach you to heighten your awareness and accurately read your intuition in order to avoid violence, aggression and confrontation. Derived from a mix of judo and kioshinkai, this course will also teach you the 'Fight and Flight' technique as well as many others. Cost: $45. Times: TBA

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LSA T If you want to take the LSAT but don't want to invest $1000 to prepare, consider oui LSAT mini-course. For just $100 you get a ten week session course aimed at providing you with the best possible instruction, practice, and strategeies in preparing for the LSAT. Benefit from a small class size and actual past LSAT exams for practice! Taught by a former Kaplan instructor.

Cost: $100. Time: TBA C o o k in g Sick of eating canned food and micro-wave dinners? Here is your chance to learn quick and delicious recipes for students on-the-go. You will learn everything from tasty soups and stir-fry to sushi-making and cakes that will impress not only your tummy but also your secret crush! And hey who knows, you might become the next Chef Tony! Offered in our very own midnight kitchen.

Cost: $55. Times: Monday 5:30-7:30 M a n d a r in Have you ever wondered how over one billion people can communicate via pictures instead of letters? Take this beginners class and learn all about the Chinese language and culture!

Register early, the number of seats are limited. You don't need any prior knowledge of this language to register.

Cost: $45. Times: Wednesdays 4-5:30pm A r a b ic Don't miss out on learning this beautifully scripted language! Our beginners class, taught by our very experienced instructor, will teach you the basics of spoken and written Arabic TEHKI ARABI? Then our level 2 beginners and our intermediate dass are for you!!! Level 2 beginners is dedicated to people who have some spoken knowledge of Arabic but have no knowledge of writing (or who have taken a beginners class in the past). On the other hand, the intermediate dass is for people who can speak and have some basic writing skills. If you have spoken Arabic your whole life and yet still don't know how to read or write, this is your chance! The int. course is dedicated to Arabic-speaking students. Because who knows, you just might get a too-good-tobe-true job in the Middle-East, where knowledge of the language is essential.. .Don't miss out, register early; spaces are limited.

Cost: $45. Beginners: LEVEL 1: Mon 4:30-6pm.

LEVEL 2: Tues 4:30-6pm. Intermediate: Tues 6-7:30pm.

A ll c l a s s t im e s a r e t e n t a t iv e ; p le a s e c h e c k □ u r w e b s it e f a r fin a liz e d d a t e s . A ls o , lo o k fo r in fo rm a tio n o n o u r w e b s it e a b o u t t h e 3 n e w c l a s s e s w e a r e o ffe rin g t h is s e m e s t e r : P e r s ia n

( B e g in n e r s c o u r s e f o r

P e r s ia n s p e a k in g s t u d e n t s )

G e rm a n ( B e g in n e r s c o u r s e ) M o d ern J iv e ( M o n d a y s 8 : 1 5 9 :4 5 p m )

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Registration in the Shatner Building, Room 1203 January 11th, 6:00pm-9:00pm and January 17th-21st, 10am-4pm