The McGill Tribune Vol. 15 Issue 19

P u b lis h e d b y t h e S t u d e n t s ’ S o c ie t y o f M c G i l l U n i v e r s i t y

t h i s

w

Gut Girls carves up success

e e k

News

B y L o r i F irem a n _________________________________

Possibility o f moves to pri­ vatise McGill university.

Page 5

Love darts and promissory notes.

Page 10

Exclusive interview with writer Michelangelo Signorile. Plus, the special Valentine’s issue.

Page 10

Entertainment Hearts and stars made out o f Carbone 14, and whole lotta love.

Page 16

Redmen Basketball playoffs, hopes fading fast.

Page 20

Colum nists David Bushnell.............Page 9 Susan P eters.....................Page7 Cornell W right.............Page 7

D epartm ents Crossword........................ Page9 Observer............................ Page9 W hat’s O n .................. Page 23

W a lk s a f e N e tw o rk

3 9 8 -2 4 9 8 Walking with you from anywhere to anywhere.

Sun-Thurs 7:00pm to 12:45am Fri-Sat 7:00pm to 2:30 am

At McGill, an odd play will occasionally come along to bravely challenge the reputation of student drama; professional, poignant and inspired, it dares us to re-examine our precon­ ceptions about amateur theatre.

Gut Girls is such a play. Brilliantly acted, with impressively creative direction, Gut Girls establishes itself from beginning to end as a play worth watching.

Set in late-Victorian Deptford, the play chronicles the lives of five very different young women, each struggling for independence, security and happiness in a town where “the only thing worse than being a gut girl is being a whore.” As they work diligently in the abattoir, the girls amuse themselves with ribald songs, off-colour jokes and lewd, honest discussions about sex, sausage skins and the rights o f women. Sarah Daniels’ script is refreshingly honest, allowing us to understand and appreci­ ate the complexities of these rough and ready outcasts.

Ellen (Elizabeth Logue) is the idealist, for­ ever espousing her theories on equality, unions, and the oppression o f women. Maggie (Jill Sweetin) is the stubborn one, too proud to settle for being som eone’s w ife. Annie (Lucinda D avis) is the fallen woman. K ate (K elly Patterson) is the realist. Though sharp-tongued, she is fiercely loyal to her friends and practical about her station in life. Finally, Polly (Genesee Keevil) is the saucy one — a genuine free spirit impossible to dislike.

It is difficult to imagine that McGill stu­ dents could effectively portray such boisterous, poverty-stricken Englishw om en, yet, after three weeks, these five actresses have literally transformed themselves. Of particular note are Sweetin and Keevil, whose authentic cockney accents and stirring performances almost made me forget the stifling, hot atmosphere of Moyse Hall.

As involving as these women are on their own, the heart o f the story emerges as the women are visited by Lady Helena (the always amazing Jessi Baden). A self-righteous dogooder, she adopts the women as her latest charity ca se, attem pting to make them respectable enough to one day aspire to become (g asp !) head maid. It is here that Steven L ecky’ s direction shines, cleverly using the song “Three Little Maids” as the women are pushed and prodded into their uniforms and Lady Helena tonelessly chants the rules of socially appropriate behaviour.

This biting social commentary is effective when it focuses on the changes the young

2G W D M ËpS $

4

.

9

9

includes two fhme I two mediumfries. t_ Please ithanyother offer. Nocash II jé taxes payableby bearer. value. i , )1 University, McGill Metro Validi E x p i r y I___

A p r il 3 0 , 1 9 9 6

* MC DEBURGERKINGl__ .......

C o ntinued on P a g e 19 M

2

McGill students assem ble to dem onstrate against cuts to the CHST

Students unite in pan-Canadian demonstration B y M elissa R adler _________________________________

On February 7, thousands of students partici­ pated in Canada’s Day of Action, demonstrating their support for social programs. Across the nation, students have sought alternatives to the federal government’s proposed $7 billion cuts to the Canadian Health and Social Transfer, which includes funding to post-secondary education.

Nationally, the demonstration was commend­ ed for its organised and unified message.

In Montreal, an estimated 3,500 to 4,500 marchers, from 25 schools, turned out for the march. Despite some disunity among organisers and participants, the demonstration was considered a success.

McGill students assembled at the Roddick Gates and joined other Montreal students in a march that began at Concordia and proceeded eastward along René Levesque to UQAM. Students expressed concern that cuts to pro­ grams such as post-secondary education may result in tuition increases, spelling an end to their education.

“W e’re dealing with a form of tyranny in which knowledge is power,” said Faizal Forrester, a McGill graduate student. “Only kids from certain income brackets have access to education.”

W ill Richards, a student at UQAM, denounced Canada’s policy makers as a “genera­ tion of hypocrites.”

CANDINEK)R .9 9 * T h i s o f f e r v a lid o n ly a t :

BURGER KING 2001

University • McGill Metro

includes two flame broiled Whopper* sandwiches and two mediumfries.

“When [members of government] were going to school, education was $500 per year, and they’re the ones that want to make the cuts,” said Richards.

In addition, separatists have argued that the proposed cuts have further endorsed the need for an independent Quebec.

“If we are sovereign, we won’t have their problems. We’re paying for people in Ottawa in government, instead of supporting education,” said Dominique Langière, a student at CEGEP St. Laurent.

While marchers chanted slogans about the solidarity o f the student voice, minor scuffles between students broke out on the comer of René Levesque and St. Urbain.

“Any disorganisation on the day of the march I blame on FEUQ [La Fédération des étudiant(e)s Universitaires du Québec] supporters who pur­ posely came to disrupt the march,” stated Melanie Newton, political co-ordinator o f the Black Students’ Network.

Last year, SSMU ended its membership in FEUQ in response to the organisation’s publicly pro-sovereigntist position.

Newton further commented on FEU Q ’ s alleged role in prohibiting certain speakers from reaching the podium at UQAM. She stated that the planned female and MDE [Le mouvement pour le droit à l’éducation] speakers were barred from pre-

C ontinued on P a g e 2 H

^includes two flame broiled Whopper* sandwiches and two mediumfries.

Pleasepreset this couponbefore ordering.

Notvalidwithanyotheroffer. No cash Validonlyat 2001 University, McGill Metro.

Expiry Date: April 3 0 , 1 9 9 6

♦ * MC DEBURGERKINGCORPORATION 1996 199c

February 13th, 1996

Page 2 N e W S

SSM U plebiscite to gauge student opinion regarding CA SA Although a referendum question was originally proposed, council feared being bound by a student mandate B y T o d d K ram ers

A non-binding plebiscite on S S M U ’ s m em bership in the Canadian A lliance o f Students’ Associations will be presented to McGill undergraduates during the March referendum period.

The d ecisio n to presen t a plebiscite question was made in the fourth hour o f a marathon sixhour council meeting last Thursday evening. After a brief debate, with just enough councillors present to achieve quorum, council voted 201 in favour of the motion.

Chris Carter, SSMU clubs rep, had previously presented a motion on CA SA which sought to get a binding referendum question on the election period ballot. He cast the sole vote against the altered m otion, as it bore little resem ­ blance to the one he had proposed.

If passed unchanged, Carter’s m otion would have com p elled SSMU to seek a mandate from stu­ dents for continuing involvement in CASA, at the same time provid­ ing students with the option o f ch o o sing m em bership in the Canadian Federation of Students.

Carter first withdrew the CFS question, citing potential conflicts between CFS regulations and the q u e stio n ’ s w ording. SSM U President Helena Myers then pro­ posed that the CASA question be approved as a plebiscite and not as

a referendum question.

Myers expressed concern that the results o f a referendum on CASA membership would be too inflexible.

“Because o f the problem o f binding the hands of future coun­ cils and students, there should be a p leb iscite instead o f a referen ­ dum,” Myers argued. “A plebiscite would serve as a poll o f student opinion with no legal obligations for maintaining C A SA member­ ship.”

Andrea S ta irs , SSM U V P external affairs and CASA Quebec re g io n al d irecto r, agreed with Myers.

“There is no by-law or consti­ tu tio n al requ irem en t in eith er SSM U or CASA that forces SSMU to take this motion to a referen­ dum ,” S ta irs said. “D oing so would be completely voluntary on council’s part. If CASA then did something unsatisfactory [after a student referendum] and SSM U wanted to leave CASA, we would have to go back to students for approval,” she stated.

The SSM U became a found­ ing member o f CASA last winter when council voted to join. Carter worries that council’s decision is an effort to side-step the democrat­ ic procedure o f seeking student approval regarding involvement in a national student organisation which represents their interests in

Is' ^ ws; TheUniversitédeMontréal Big Band Directed by Simon Stone

F e b ru a ry 1 b th a t 1 0 p .m .

17 musicians on stage Admission: $3.00 (includes one draft)

Jazz Jam Sessions Every Thursday N iÿit at 10 p.m.

F re e A d m is s io n

3480 McTavish info: 398-6780.

Bleue

Ottawa.

“What is the point of having a p le b is c ite ? ” C arter asked. “ It means nothing. I would have thought that, on such a critical

issue, a body that alw ays calls itself a representative democratic assembly would have acted differ­ ently. They’re sending something to students that [council] won’t

have to do anything with,” he said.

Carter was visibly upset by the proceedings. Not long after

C ontinued on P a g e 4 H

Student demonstration... *9 C ontinued from P a g e 1

Originally, city-wide security was organised by the now defunct Coalition ‘96, who held association with the Canadian Federation of Students and MDE. At the last minute, however, an alternative security force was called on. On the day of the demonstration, official city-wide security volunteers were identified by red arm bands.

“Security was chaotic. There were unidentified security with no red arm-bands, including Andrea [Stairs, SSMU VP external] herself, who was directing traffic,” stated Sarah Marsh, member of the McGill

“Students are huge stakeholders in the education sectors. We would like to be consulted.”

At the University of Western Ontario, an estimated 50 to 100 peo­ ple turned out for the demonstration in London. Mario Nigro, president of the Society o f Graduate Students, blamed the low turnout on an inef­ fective, centralised student body.

Although Western has the largest number of student loans per capita in Ontario, Nigro stated that undergrad­ uate interest in the demonstration’s cause was minimal.

In Halifax, a rally at King’ s College also yielded a small student turnout. At the Nova Scotia C ollege o f Art and Design, stu­ dents were invit­ ed to artistically express their opinions about the proposed cuts on a banner that w ill be sent to H u m a n Resources and D e v e lo p m e n t M inister Doug Young.

“From co r­ porate scapegoats to ‘We are the future’, all bases were covered [on the banner],” said Jessica Thomas, a member o f the C ollege Student Union.

SSMU Clubs Rep Chris Carter pointed out that overall, internal divisions and a degree of organisa­ tional disunity should not be seen as harmful to the intent of the demon­ stration.

“I don’t feel that petty in-fight­ ing should be allowed to undermine what was a good initiative,” said Carter. “With tens of thousands of students, something’s bound to hap­ pen, so what’s the point?”

senting their speeches. Furthermore, Newton expressed concern that the demonstration’s disunity was a result of opposing student interests.

“There’ s always been a split between those who define student interests in a very broad sense as including a large number of social ju stice programs, and those who believe that you can have a student movement that acts in complete iso­ lation from everyone else, that doesn’t see that it has any kind of common front with the unemployed or the welfare recipients,” stated Newton.

Some claim that, in a last minute deci­ sion, the demonstra­ tio n ’ s co-ordinating committee changed the original route.

Erin Runions, VP external o f M cG ill’ s Post Graduate Stu ­ dents’ Society, stated that the change in the route defeated one of the dem onstration’ s central purposes, which was the protest o f deferred corporate taxes. Runions pointed out that while René Hitting the street on a real m ean beat Levesque is lined with corporate buildings, marchers were Action Committee. unable to protest the issue further Across Canada, demonstrations south. The original route would have varied in size and strength. taken demonstrators into Montreal’s In Toronto, students stormed industrial area. the Ontario legislature, causing “The co-ordinating committee approximately $ 1 0 ,0 0 0 damage. undermined the democratic process,” Four students were arrested. said Runions. “It was taken over by Heather Bishop, a member of the right wing.” the CFS and demonstration organiser According to President o f in Toronto, expressed her disappoint­ Concordia University Students’ ment with the violence.

Association Jonathan Caruthers, the “We were there for a reason, message of the march was further not to storm the legislature but to emphasised by the demonstration’s express our disgust and unhappiness disunity. at the cuts and the lack of consulta­ “Whatever route you take, we tion about education,” said Bishop. are all against the cu ts,” said Caruthers.

Alleged security problems were W is h in g M c G ill S tu d e n ts cited as an explanation as to why the demonstration got out o f hand at a fu n a n d r e la x in g s p r in g b r e a k ! some points.

“There were a thousand stu­ C a n a m o In v e s tm e n t a n d dents pushing one way, and others pushing the other way. A fight broke Im m ig r a tio n C o r p o r a tio n out in front of me,” stated Steven Erdelyi, Senate board rep to SSMU [/Family Sponsorship council.

The McGill Tribune is published by the Students' .Society of McGill University Editorial Office:

William Shatner University Centre, Rm B 0l A, rue McTavish Montréal, Québec,. CANADA H3A 1X9 Advertising Office: (514)398-6806 Editorial Office: (514)398-6789/3666

Fax:

(514)398-7490

Letters must include author’s name, signature, identification (e.g. U2 Biology, SSMU President) and telephone number and be typed double-spaced or submitted on disk in Macintosh or IBM word processor format. Letters more than 300 words, pieces for ‘Stop The Press’ more than 500 words, or submissions judged by the Editorin-Chief to be libellous, sexist, racist or homophobic will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit letters for length. Place submissions in the Tribune mail box, across from the SSMU front desk or FAX to 398-7490. Columns appearing under ‘Editorial' heading are decided upon by the editorial board and written by a member of the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

[/Investors Program / Skilled W orkers Program [/Entrepreneurs Program

F o r fre e c o n s u lta tio n , c a ll C h a rle s M a is o n n e u v e (5 1 4 ) 2 8 6 - 4 2 3 1 fro m 1 0 :0 0 a m to 5 : 0 0 p m o r v is it 1 9 8 1 M c G ill-C o lle g e A venue, s u ite 4 6 5

News

February 13th, 1996

Page 3

A G SEM members show solidarity in support of strike vote B y B enji W

o f a p ro p o sal fo r a c o lle c tiv e agreement between TA s and the university. The proposal covers a w id e-ran g e o f is su e s, ranging from sexual harassment to acade­ mic freedom.

W hile the 21 months have produced some positive results, there are still many unresolved issues. What has emerged as the most pressing o f these issues is the staggering 300 per cent dis­ crep an cy in s a la rie s fo r T A s across different departments.

D uring the m e etin g , the A G SE M representatives to the bargaining committee presented their reports to the union, and underlined the need to have the strike as an option. Bargaining C o m m ittee R e p re se n ta tiv e M ichael Tem elini expressed the need for TAs to take action.

“If the university stalls again, and we receive a monetary offer

ein stein

If the M cGill administration does not meet the demands of its Teach in g s A ssistan ts, A G SE M now has the option of walking off the job.

On F eb ru ary 8, the Association o f Graduate Students Employed at M cGill was given a mandate by its members to hold a one-day strike against the univer­ sity’s administration, should the latter fail to meet demands. With 125 members voting for, and 67 against, a clear majority o f gradu­ ate students support a proposal which gives their union the power to call a strike.

A G SE M ’s decision to resort to strike tactics com es after 21 months o f inconclusive negotia­ tions with the M cGill administra­ tion. Talks began in May of 1994, following A G SE M ’s submission

Safety concerns fo rced closure o f Queen's labs Four medical labs at Queen's University were closed because radioactive material was not being properly contained.

The closure o f three o f the four labs has been attributed to poor record keeping and general messiness in labs where radio iso­ topes are used for research. The A tom ic Energy C ontrol B oard closed the fourth lab because it lacks a radiation detector.

Three labs have since been reopened, as the university claims to have cleaned up the mess. The fourth lab will remain closed until a detector is installed.

Apparently, there have been no reports o f injury or radiation contamination. But Robert Potvin, the supervisor o f public affairs for A ECB, stated that if left unfixed, safety violations could threaten the health o f students and staff.

The D ire c to r of Environmental Health and Safety fo r Q u e e n ’ s, Joh n M illig a n , refused comment about the instal­ lation o f a radiation detector. He further stated that he does not want news o f Q u een ’ s nuclear p ro b lem s to spread o u tsid e Kingston, Ontario.

“We consider this an internal m atter, a Q u e e n ’ s U n iv ersity issue, and we have no intention o f

allo w in g this story to reach a national level,” Milligan said.

Potvin stated that the AECB w ill be co n d u ctin g su rp rise inspections o f the labs to ensure that the university has abided by health and safety regulations.

— With files from The Charlatan

Cyber-campaigning shut down Student council election can­ d id ates at the U n iv ersity o f Western Ontario have been told the internet is o ff limits for their campaigns.

One policy statement made by the U n iv e rsity S tu d e n ts ’ Council elections com m ittee on January 18 prohibits candidates from setting up their own cam ­ paign home pages for upcoming elections. However, the USC will allow candidates to publicise their e -m a il ad d resses in ord er to respond to students’ questions.

According to Chief Returning O fficer Mark M cL ean, the ban was instituted because o f a con­ cern that all candidates would not have access to the internet as a campaigning tool. The elections com m ittee was also concerned about their potential inability to monitor abuses over the internet

A lE X A M D R E

%

C

„ v e te r ia

p re s e n ts

IL TEATRO

“It went along pretty w ell, actually,” Gagnier said. “Strike votes are always lively, and this was no exception.”

At the end of the long meet­ ing, M cG ill’s TAs emerged united and ready to stand up for their cause. As Michael Temelini indi­ cated to his fellow members, the union has much to gain from their solidarity.

“The sacrifice o f going out for one day is not huge, and yet the sy m bolism w ill be g re a t,” Temelini said. “It will show that those who are doing w ell care about those who are not.”

W hile the A G SEM meeting was taking place, SSM U council­ lors were debating a motion to support TA demands. The motion read: “B e it re so lv ed th at the SSM U C o u n cil re co g n is e A G SE M ’s concerns and endorse

th e ir dem ands to the M c G ill Administration.”

Many councillors were reluc­ tant to back AGSEM , which ulti­ mately led to the failure o f the motion.

“I ’m a bit hesitant,” said Arts Rep Carey Schneider. “I ’ m not g oin g to support th is m otion because I don’t think AGSEM is unified.”

W ith or w ith ou t S S M U ’ s support, A G S E M now has the m andate to s trik e . H ow ever, A G S E M C o -o rd in a to r Hugh Potter noted that the decision has not yet been made as to whether the strike will occur.

“The negotiation team will now be able to go to M cGill and say, ‘We now have a very clear mandate to organise a one-day strike if necessary,”’ Potter said.

“B u t w e’ re hoping that w on’ t happen.”

during the campaign.

Social science councillor can­ didate Kevin Mol felt the election com m ittee’ s decision may have been hasty.

“My concern is that the elec­ tio n s co m m ittee has not researched this enough to take such a strong stance," he said.

he said. “It’s been governments doing what they think is best to keep Quebec in Canada” Harper pointed out the sub­ stantial impact that the separation o f Quebec would have on the rest o f Canada. “ [Separation] would have a tremendous impact on Canada,” he said. “Those are the 20 ques­ tions dealing with the share of the debt, dealing with boundaries, d ealin g with dual citiz en sh ip , dealing with the rights o f minori­ ties in Quebec, the rights o f the Cree and the Inuit, the military, a corridor through to the Maritimes, and there is a lot o f pain in there for all o f us,” Harper said.

Harper also explained that the h ig h lig h t o f the R efo rm

P a rty ’ s 2 0 p o sitiv e p ro p o sals deals with de-centralisation; the strengthening o f the provinces in some areas, and the strengthening o f the federal government in other areas.

Harper pointed out that his purpose for presenting the report was to en co u ra g e d iscu ssio n among Canadians.

“T h e re has to be ch a n g es made,” he said. “In our view, the C anad ian p eop le should be in v o lv ed in d isc u ssin g the changes that are required to the federation,” Harper said.

— With file s from The Western Gazette.

R ef o r m M P p r e s e n t s report f o r a u n i f i e d Canada M P Ed H arper v isited W aterloo University on January 25 in order to present the Reform Party’s paper on national unity.

The report, entitled “20/20V isions for the future,” lists 20 proposed changes at the federal level to aid in keeping Canada u nited , and 2 0 pro b lem s that Canadians may face i f Q uebec separates.

Harper cited the failure o f the “top dow n” p ro cess as one o f Canada’s greatest problems.

“The first failure would be the fact that we elected 54 mem­ bers o f parliament on a mandate to separate," he said. “Following up on th at, we now have a province that has elected a gov­ ernment with a mandate to sepa­ rate.”

Harper went on to explain the reasons for the failure.

“The top-down process has failed , first o f a ll, because the people have not been involved,”

P e e l - T e l. : (5 1 4 ) 2 8 8 -5 1 0 5

— With file s from The Waterloo Imprint

Suma Ching Hai International Association w m

V ,EGETARIAN HOUS

E xotic C h in e s e , V ie tn a m e s e a n d Ita lia n c u is in e

‘All Vegetarian, All Natural’

S o m e p o p u la r d is h e s fro m o u r m e n u :

$

|

Eastern Adventure Veggie-Chicken Ro-Ti’ Golden Swan* Serenity Veggie-Eel on Hot Plate* Noodles in Wonderland Flying Buddha SAN-DI-MAN fish* Crepes Florentine

$

3

Japanese Sushi Clay-Pot Sensation Lo-Han Sa-Quo Eggplant Parmesan Heavenly Salad Steamed Snow Fish* Shish-Kebab* Spaghetti Jambalaya Italian Eggplant Salad

* Veggie-Meats made with textured vegetable protein (TVP).

^

W e also have a Vegetarian Grocery Section.

7 2 4 5 S t-H u b ert

2 7 4 -1 6 0 8

E LE G A N T, PEAC EFUL, N O N - S M O K IN G E N V IR O N M E N T

M c G ill!!

F O O D - B A R - D A N C IN G P iz z a , p a s ta , d e s s e r ts : A N D

d rin k s

L a d y ’s N ig h t P .S

: Looking

for

N

M e t r o Jean-Talon • O p e n T u e s d a y -S u n d a y 11 a m -9 p m

J u s t 5 m in u te s f r o m

M ix e d L u n c h a n d d in n e r

1454A

in April, then it will be virtually impossible for us to mobilise,” he said. “If past experience is any­ thing to go by, this university has an interesting history of dropping proposals when students aren’t around.”

As the meeting dragged on, some began to voice their desire to move to the vote.

“I want to know i f th e re’ s anyway I can vote now,” demand­ ed one agitated m em ber. “I ’ ve heard all this before.”

“L e t’ s have some solidarity here guys,” retorted Ph.D student N atalie Oman, whose comment was m et w ith resou n d in g applause.

Jean-Claude Gagnier, a mem­ ber of the executive committee of the D ay-C are W ork ers’ Union, who was brought in to chair the meeting, felt that the evening was a success.

$

Y O U

C H O O S E

3 .0 0

e v e ry

B e e r

F r id a y

check-room

girls

T H E

$

F R E E and

P R IC E !!

3 .50 D R IN K S ! !

Doorm en

February 13th, 1996

Page 4 N e W S

Two-hour council debate results in maintenance of status quo Council divided over number o f clubs and services reps B y N oah C

itterman

In a marathon session last Thursday, SSMU council defeated a motion to include a question con­ cerning the composition of council in the upcoming spring referendum.

The Presidential P ortfo lio Committee o f C ou ncil’ s motion intended to ask students whether they wanted to change SSMU’s con­ stitution to include one clubs rep and one services rep on council.

Currently there are three councillors representing both clubs and ser­ vices.

Clubs include most o f the activity groups sponsored by SSMU, such as the Outing Club and the Debating Union. Services differ in that they involve a larger number o f students and reach out to the greater M ontreal community.

Services include organisations such as the Black Students’ Network, Walksafe and the Sexual Assault Centre.

The debate split council between those who wanted to increase the representation of ser­

vices and clubs on council, and meeting thought that it was time to those who want to see it decreased. increase clubs and services repre­ sentation. Two amendments were The Presidential PCOC’s motion would only have asked students brought forward to change the motion so that it would ask students whether they wanted to decrease clubs and services rep­ resentation.

SSM U President and member o f the Presidential PCO C, Helena Myers, explai­ ned the importance of reducing the number of seats on council.

“The sm aller group you have, the more efficient decision making you have,” she said at council.

Myers also argued that council's two-hour long debate over this particular issue was an 1 example of inefficien­ cy.

“As you can see, right now, we don’ t Myers advocating cuts to increase efficiency have efficient decision to agree to an increase. These pro­ making,” she stated.

However, others present at the posals were defeated.

Supporters o f an increase argued that the number of clubs is always growing, and that the num­ ber of services has increased dra­ matically over the past few years, and therefore, more representation is necessary. As well, some pointed out that services are more informed about certain issues, and are current­ ly not well represented on council.

Steven Erdelyi, Senate/Board rep to council, agreed with this position.

COMPARATIVECANADIAN LITERATURE M.A.andPh.D.

These programmes are dedicated to the study of the m ultiple litera­ tures of Canada and Québec in relation to one another and to the literatures of other nations.

Program m es The M.A. and Ph.D. consist of course w ork in Comparative Canadian Literature and in Canadian and Quebec studies (literature, theatre, culture and film , translation) w ith a thesis related to Canadian and/or Quebec studies which may include any of a wide variety of fields: the comparison of English Canadian and Québécois literature, transla­ tion, North American studies, literatures of the Americas, fem inist, postmodern and postcolonial theory and literatures, cultural studies.

Candidates must have a w orking knowledge of English and French, and superior w riting ability in one of these languages.

M ilie u The Université de Sherbrooke is located on the outskirts of the city of Sherbrooke in the Eastern Townships, a region of mountains and lakes 130 km east of Montréal.

would benefit council by making it a more informed body.”

Chantal DaSilva, Chair of the Presidential PCOC, explained that the m ajority o f the com m ittee thought current councillors, espe­ cially those representing faculties, were quite capable of bringing a variety of issues to council.

“We felt that faculty reps were just as competent as clubs and ser­ vices reps at representing non-acad­ emic issues on council,” she said.

Other councillors rejected all

the proposals to change the number of services and clubs reps because these changes didn’ t take into account larger issues concerning the com position o f cou n cil. Jen Harding, VP internal affairs, pointed out that a reform of council should not be done one step at a time.

“I think if we’re going to seri­ ously look at how council will be reformed, it should be done in one go,” she said.

Amin Kassam, arts rep to coun­ cil, voiced similar concerns.

“Adding any one, two, or three positions won’t really change the entire nature of council,” he said.

“At its best it appears arbitrary.”

Clubs Rep Chris Carter felt that the proposal to decrease clubs and services representation was in fact an initiative by some members of council to stifle the voice of certain students on campus.

“It was abundantly clear that they didn’t want to raise clubs and services representation because they didn’t want to deal with issues the clubs and services would be bring­ ing up,” he said. “It was nothing short of censorship.”

While council remains divided over how reform should proceed.

Carter pointed out that hopefully cou ncil can be by-passed and a question asking students to approve an increase in the number of ser­ vices reps will appear on the refer­ endum ballot.

“A group of students will be initiating a student sponsored [refer­ endum] question,” he said.

Carter criticised council after­ wards for railroading the issue of C A SA membership into resolu­ tion. “ [C o u n cil] didn’ t want a CASA referendum,” Carter said. “[Council members] manipulated the debate to make it seem like there could be a referendum before suggesting a plebiscite, which they knew would mean nothing.”

Stairs wouldn’t respond on how co u n cil would treat a p le b is c ite vote a g ain st C A SA membership.

“That would be up to next year’s council and the VP External

Affairs,” Stairs said. “I think hav­ ing a plebiscite is a good compro­ mise that will effectiv ely gauge student opinion,” she stressed.

Carter now intends to organise a student-initiated referendum on membership in C A SA . Studentinitiated referenda must be pre­ sented 21 days before advanced polling, with 500 signatures from seven different schools or facul ties. No more than 30 per cent of signatures can come from the same faculty or school. Council is bound to respect the decisions made by students in such referenda.

“Clubs and services reps are most capable of bringing up impor­ tant issues of concern to students including safety, sexual harassment, and discrimination,” he said. “They

3 (B <U o X o

CASA... » Continued from Page 2 cou n cil had moved on to other business, he pushed his chair away from the table, shaking his head and m uttering rep eated ly , “[Council] never achieves any­ thing.”

The rapidity and ease with which his motion and others were resolved late in the meeting drew remarks from SSM U VP Internal Jen Harding.

“I ’ m disappointed at all the councillors for trying to rush this meeting,” Harding said. “This is our job — and we’re supposed to be doing it.”

G r o u p e d e r e c h e r c h e d ' in t é r ê t p u b lic d u Q u é b e c à M c G ill Inform ation For further inform ation (adm ission, financial assistance, etc.; please contact:

GRIP QUEBEC PIRG Q u e b e c P u b lic I n t e r e s t R e s e a r c h G r o u p a t M c G ill

Le responsable des Programmes en littérature canadienne comparée 2* et 3e cycles Département des lettres et com m unications Faculté des lettres et sciences humaines Université de Sherbrooke Sherbrooke (Québec) CANADA J1K2R1

S u m m e r S tip e n d a n d P r o j e c t S o lic ita tio n P e rio d T h e Q u ebec P u b lic In terest R e s e a r c h G rou p ( Q P IR G ) is cu rren tly so licitin g a p p lic a tio n s f o r su m m e r stip en d s o f $ 2 0 0 0 a s w ell a s f o r f a l l sem ester projects w h ich f i t in to Q P IR G ’s m a n d a t e o f research , e d u c a tio n a n d a c tio n on e n v iro n m en ta l a n d so c ia l ju s t ic e issues in th e M o n trea l co m m u n ity .

Téléphone : (819) 821-7281 ou 7277 Télécopieur: (819) 821-7285 Email : compcan@ courrier.usherb.ca

A p p lic a tio n fo r m s a r e a v a ila b le a t th e Q P IR G office, 3 6 4 7 U niversity.

D e a d lin e : M a r c h 1 5 ,1 9 9 6 .

UNIVERSITÉ DE S H E R B R O

C a ll 3 9 8 - 7 4 3 2 f o r m o re in fo rm a tio n .

O

K E

NeWS

February 13th, 1996

Page 5

Proposals surface to encourage fully funded programs at McGill B y J a s o n S ic u r d s o n

The Planning and Priorities Sub-committee has created a doc­ ument outlining procedures that will allow faculties to privatise specific programs.

T h is su b co m m ittee o f the Academic Planning and Priorities Com m itte recently released its “B u d g etin g P riv a te ly Funded Programs: issues and methodolo­ gies.” The report is an administra­ tive document that could be used by any facu lty. V ice P rincip al Planning and Resources François Tavenas explained the co n text within which the document was created.

“W e see potential for fully funded program s in a lim ited number o f areas where it would make sense for such a program,” he said. “Whoever is considering a private program, it will state the principles for such a program. It will not be connected to a specific program.”

SSM U President Helena M y­ ers feels that the McGill adminis­ tration has made their intentions clear about the future o f the uni­ versity and that this new proposal is part of their larger vision.

“I ’m really not surprised the issue o f privatising programs is com ing up. I think ideally [the administration] would like to see McGill move towards being a pri­

vate university but they know that they can’t get full support right now — the students won’t support it, the government won’t support it,” said Myers.

“With privately funded pro­ gram s, th e y ’ ve tak en a new approach to p rivatisatio n ,” she continued. “At the last meeting of Senate, they approved a private masters o f management program with participants to be funded by their employer.”

Tavenas acknow ledges that this document is a part o f the dis­ co u rse begun by P rin c ip a l Bernard Sh ap iro ’ s “Tow ards a New M cG ill,” but denies that it reflects an exp licit intention to privatise.

“T h e re are co n n e ctio n s between this and the overall plan­ ning...There is no grand plan to move M cGill in a business direc­ tion, but if there are initiatives arising out o f faculties, we want to be ab le to support th e m ,” Tavenas stated. “Faculty in itia­ tives rest with the faculty, and so they should. I f this leads us to rethink things at the central level, that’s what we do.”

Myers explained that under this new policy, faculties would be required to exam ine several issues before bringing their pro­ posals forward.

“The university believes that befo re they have proposals for

privately funded programs, they must have credible market analy­ sis — what students look for in the program, how much they’re willing to pay, how many would be interested,” she stated.

Tavenas pointed out that the ability to sell programs to stu­ dents as clients will affect the rate at which privatisation occurs.

“T h e re p ro b ab ly is n ’ t an international market for a B.A. in art history, but there is possibility in areas such as law. We have to deal with this in a selective man­ ner,” Tavenas said.

Myers explained that in addi­ tion to covering its own co sts, fully funded programs could pro­ vide a new source o f revenue.

“In essence, they want all the costs incurred in the faculty and in central planning to be paid for through fees. They would also like to generate profit to amelio­ rate the overall health of the uni­ versity,” Myers said.

H ow ever, a m echanism to return revenues to the general operating budget is not currently included in a policy.

Eric Hoffstein, undergraduate rep to the A P P C , stressed the need for a substantive policy to regulate fully funded programs.

“The problem with privately funded programs is that M cG ill doesn’t have the financial struc­ ture to deal with the privatisa­

tion,” he said. “M cGill has to do one o f two th in g s.” I f th e y ’ re going to have privately funded program s. They can eith er not accept any privately funded pro­ gram proposals until they have the guidelines to deal with the organisations, or they can accept the programs and simultaneously develop the guidelines. If they do the seco n d , they have to take m oves im m e d ia te ly ,” said Hoffstein.

T h e A P P C rev iew ed the P la n n in g and P rio ritie s S u b co m m ittee d ocu m en t “Academic Directions and Budget S tra te g ie s fo r the N ext F iv e Years” last Thursday. This docu­ ment lists 40 recommendations on various areas o f university opera­ tions, including the issue o f finan­ cial autonomy. The APPC made suggestions on the content o f the report, and returned it to Planning and P rio rities to be rew orked.

Hoffstein emphasised the need to

conduct a broad examination o f available financial options.

“The opinion o f the APPC is that alternatives need to be found to the current funding structure.

T h at includ es everything from minor changes to com plete pri­ vatisatio n , de-em phasising the governm ent grant, or using the grant more effectively,” Hoffstein said . “T h e re is a lo t o f sp ace between com plete privatisation and full dependence on the gov­ ernment grant.”

However, Tavenas feels that fu lly funded program s in sp e­ cialised areas, such as the recently approved masters in International Management, are viable options that do not push M cG ill towards privatisation.

“It’s really up to the creativi­ ty o f the faculties to address the kin d s o f m ark ets we h a v en ’ t lo o k ed at in the p a s t,” said Tavenas.

a*td Sana (lean Cove ttecve.

(Zotne o/iane oun fra&Moa. 3 9 Z -V Ô & M

Student library fund proposal to be put to referendum B y E liza beth W

a sser m a n

At last Thursday’ s SSM U council meeting, members voted in favour of including a referendum question asking students if they are w illing to support the proposed SSMU Library Improvement Fund.

Students will be asked whether they agree to make a contribution of ten dollars per semester per full­ time student, and five dollars per part-time student to supplement the library budget.

Senate/Board Rep Steven Erdelyi came up with the idea earli­ er this year in response to concerns voiced by a number o f students about the condition o f M cG ill’ s libraries.

Erdelyi explained that due to a combination of across-the-board budget cuts at M cG ill in recent years and the devaluation of the Canadian dollar, library funding has not kept up with rates of inflation in the prices of books and journals.

Furtherm ore, in studying M cG ill’ s statistics and those o f Statistics Canada, Erdelyi discov­ ered that the resources of McGill’s libraries have been decreasing as a percentage of the university’s total budget since the mid-80s, and have been consistently below the national average.

D irector o f L ibraries E ric Ormsby attended last Thursday’s council meeting to discuss the bene­ fits that the supplementary fund could provide. In addition to more books and journals, he suggested the introduction o f Self-S erv ice Circulation monitors which would

allow students to take books out at all hours and would cut down on the portion of the budget allocated to staff.

Some councillors voiced con­ cerns about expecting students to take on a financial burden which is

libraries would not otherwise be able to afford.

Erdelyi reminded council that an opt-out clause was included in the proposal, and that contributions to the fund would be voluntary.

The allocation o f the funds

Erdelyi proposes Library Im provem ent Fund the rightful responsibility o f the administration, and that the proposal may be interpreted by students as a tuition increase.

Clubs Rep Chris Carter ques­ tioned Ormsby as to the necessity of resorting to student funding.

Ormsby replied that, in fact, administration had informed him that further budgetary restraints in the upcoming year might result in a cut of up to $1.2 million from the library budget. He emphasised that the student fund would not be a compensation for shortfalls in the budget, but a special supplement to provide for “enhancements” that the

would ultimately be left to the dis­ cretion of the SSMULIF committee, which would be composed of the VP University Affairs, five council­ lors, and two members at large SSM U V P Internal Jen Harding raised the question of how the SSM U L IF would be divided amongst the various faculty libraries.

In response to this concern, an amendment was added to the pro­ posal specifying that the fund would be divided among the various facul­ ty libraries in proportion to the number of students in each faculty.

The foremost concern among

the councillors seemed to be that the administration might use the fund as an excuse to introduce further bud­ get cuts.

However, Ormsby suggested that this outcome may be avoided if the fund were presented in the form of an endowment, as if it were from a private donor.

Some councillors, however, do not trust the discretion of the admin­ istration in the midst of extensive budget cuts.

Arts Rep Amin Kassam placed particular emphasis on this point.

“No one has assured me that the university will not use the fund as an opportunity to cut funding of the library...Mr. Erdelyi asked coun­ cil to put trust in the McGill admin­ istration. Trust is something that has to be earned, and I for one feel that administration has not earned that privilege by its actions in the past,” stated Kassam.

Erdelyi agreed that there is no fool-proof safeguard against this possibility, but he hopes that the students’ initiative will have the

very opposite effect.

“I think that the message is important,” Erdelyi said. “It will force the university to take action to deal with this major concern that students have.”

Erdelyi and SSM U President Helena Myers approached Principal Bernard Shapiro two weeks ago with a suggestion that the Board of Governors consider matching the amount accum ulated by the SSM U L IF with money from the undesignated portion of the Twentyfirst Century Fund. According to Myers, Principal Shapiro “seemed very positive” about the suggestion, and said that he would give them a more definitive answer this week.

Ormsby expressed admiration for the initiative shown by students in making this proposal, calling it an example of “enlightened self-inter­ est.”

“We’re really in tough times,” he told council. “We need all the help we can get,” he said.

A b o v e p r i c e s o n ly a t L A P H O T O S H O P o r d r o p y o u r f i l m o f f a t S A D IE 'S f o r p r o c e s s i n g N A T U R E C A R E R E C Y C L IN G

Page 6 T

*

February 13 th, 1996 H

*

E

Published by the Students’ Society of McGill University

!McGILL T R IB U N E “Cupid is naked and does not like artifices contrived of beauty.”

- Propertius

S ylvie Babarik

lovce Hor -C hung Lau

E d itor-in -ch ief

Assistant E d itor-in -ch ief

Ed itorial

Liberty is our own affair B y jO N O ' B

rien

____________________________________

ichel de M ontaigne wrote that in ancient Rom e, horse sellers befo re the prince would co v er their stallio n s, focusing the prince’s attention only on the horse’s athlet­ ic abilities. Revealing only the eyes, legs, and feet was thought to avoid the distraction o f unessential beauty.

Like a prince who has been presented an uncovered horse, M cGill students have been incensed and distracted by one section o f Principal Shapiro’s proposal “Towards a New M cG ill”.

Repelled by the notion o f increased tuition fees, students reject the proposal in its entirety. Perhaps the blemish o f tuition fees overpowers our attention, and we ignore the proposal’s salient elements.

Principal Shapiro and the administration at M cG ill are fully aware o f the changes that are needed at M cGill to increase morale at the university and ensure the strength o f the school. However, all o f “Towards a New M cG ill” has come from the top until now.

Only a few students have had the freedom to speak to Principal Shapiro. D espite this, the most recent version o f the proposal makes reference to an open forum that would listen to the opinion o f students at M cGill University. If M cG ill students disregard this opportunity to speak, M cG ill’ s future will have been removed from our hands.

Despite its tardiness, this movement towards the students o f M cG ill is welcome. As the proposals have only involved a consul­ tation o f the higher echelons o f the university, it is now time that the students — those most affected by the proposal — have the opportunity to bring the proposal down to a local level o f debate.

Secondly, the latest release o f the proposal suggests that the A cad em ic Planning and P rio rities C om m ittee as w ell as the Planning and Priorities Subcommittee determine the structure o f the discussion that would include students, so as to avoid “general bull sessions.” T his assum es that a student forum would only degenerate into an inconsequential bourbier. If the administration fears the M cGill population, it should release copies o f the docu­ ments before the assemblies, so as to provide students with some format for discussion. Those willing to attend the meetings and contribute to the discussion would be certain to inform themselves with such information.

Finally, by funnelling “Towards a New M cG ill” through the APPC and the P&P, the documentation may not reach students by March. Convening students in April, during exam period, would be next to impossible. As such, “Towards a New M cG ill” may not appear in Senate until next September. This delay is excessive and unnecessary, as the documents will not undergo significant change in the APPC or the P& P com m ittees. Discussion involving stu­ dents should be definitively announced for March.

Liberty, according to Camus, is the recognition o f our duties and our rights and the will to fulfil them. If M cG ill students wish to prove their élite nature, we must attend these open sessions and engage ourselves in this discussion. A lack o f involvement would only give those above us a free licence to remove programs as they see fit, without considering the student voice. Our liberty is our own affair.

M

Damage control indeed!

Three things.

But before I get into them, just a couple o f words in response to those who criticised my last words in this space as interfering in some­ thing that is none of my business.

As well as being my graduate school, McGill also happens to be my alma mater. I am strongly com­ mitted to this institution and as long as I am a member o f the M cG ill community, I will speak out against the injustices I see perpetrated with­ in it. If only I knew during my undergrad what I know now about the types o f things that go on, I would have gotten involved a lot sooner!

First. Something heinous hap­ pened at SSMU Council on January 25. VP External Andrea Stairs pre­ sented a so-called report in which she made reference to having been “forced” to do something she called damage control, due to alleged mis­ deeds o f Chris C arter and the McGill Action Committee (MAC).

She proceeded with an unbelievably irresponsible attempt at character assassination of Chris on council floor. This is unacceptable behav­ iour, for several reasons. Chris has done an incredible amount of work within the McGill community over the past few years, not the least of which has been representing clubs on SSMU council.

Further, when McGill students showed their wish to participate in

Mind over body I’m always interested in read­ ing articles like D oran’ s “Food Obsession pushes students to starve themselves” and I am pleased that a rticles lik e yours continu e to spread the word about eating disor­ ders.

So often, however, I find that the write-ups rarely go beyond a Pcop/e-magazine style analysis of the phenomenon. Descriptions of “frea k ish ” w eights are often offered to illustrate the extremity of the obsession, but perhaps also to draw in the reader with sensational­ ism. Statistics about the profile of folks with eating disorders are offered, but rarely are they preced­ ed with a sound or insightful analy­ sis of those statistics.

Often the reader is left with a sense o f am biguity, both about what causes eating disorders, and about what can be done about them. Ultimately, we do little but shrug our shoulders at these seem­ ingly maladjusted people.

Your article provides elements that are ripe for a new approach.

T yla B erchto ld , S ara J ean G reen ....................................................... News Editors J o n O 'B rien , Liz La u ........................................................................... Features Editors Kurt N ew m an , Rachel S t o k o e ........................................ Entertainment Editors D ana T o e r in c , Kashif Z a h o o r ............................................

SportsEditors T anim A hm ed , S hannon R o s s .............................................................................. PhotoEditors S tephan Pa t t e n .........................................................................................................Science Editor J o n O 'B r ie n .............................................................................................................. NetworkEditor R euben Levy , C hristiane W e s t .......................................... Production Managers P aul S lachta .................................................................................. Marketing Manager A nne -M arie Ra c in e ............................................................................................. Ad sales D o n M c G o w a n , V ivian D o a n ................................................................. Typesetters B arry C ampbell ..................................................................... What’s On Coordinator A dam S ennet and D rummer A sso c ia t es ........................... Web Page Designer

the National Day of Action this year and last, successive VP Externals refused to help, in other words they refused to do the jo b they were elected to do. Ms. Stairs’ attack on Chris was an attempt at the offenceas-best-defence ploy, to deflect pos­ sible criticism onto someone else, away from herself and the fact that Chris and the MAC were doing her job. Thank goodness that Chris and the other wonderful people who joined to form the MAC were there to step in and respond to the call of M cGill students. Such exemplary members of the McGill community as Chris C arter are few and far betw een.

Damage control indeed...Shame on you, Andrea.

I am still shocked at the sheer meanness and, well, lowness of this personal attack: political platform­ ing is one thing, but this was far, far beyond that. I am surprised that she was even allowed to present such trash, in the guise of an Executive Report, in a public forum, and that she hasn’t been required to apolo­ gise to Chris.

Second. Last year, in the leadup to the extrem ely su ccessful January 25 (1995) National Day of A ction, then-V P External Nick Benedict also abdicated the duties of his o ffic e by refusing to help mobilise the thousands of McGill students who ended up marching.

But at least that was the extent of his involvem ent (...o r non-involve­ ment...). In addition to not lifting a finger to help mobilise students this Doran quotes Alexandra Grousse describing anorexia as a “constant punishm ent.” L ater she quotes Clare Lord describing it as “the ultimate control o f one’s body.”

Issues like a “strict” or “chaotic family atmosphere,” “self-con fi­ dence,” and “media images” are mentioned as significant elements.

The ages that anorexia and bulimia most often arise (14 and 18 respec­ tiv ely ) are m entioned but not analysed. I think you can do better.

There are many authors today that perceive eating disorders as a symptom of a larger, societal prob­ lem. Susan Bordo and others assert that people with eating disorders (typically young, white women of middle or upper-class origin) find themselves entering pubescence and adulthood with a great deal of anxiety. Coming from families that have issues surrounding control and authority, and coming from a body that is typically viewed as unpredictable and a target for disempowerment (particularly during pubescence and/or in the case o f w om en), many people fe e l a heightened sense o f in secu rity

year (a significantly smaller number of McGill students turned out this year: I wonder why?), Ms. Stairs actually went behind the scenes and helped the attempts to sabotage and subvert the entire event. (To an extent these people succeeded. The number of students marching this year in Montreal was much less than last year, and I have never been on such a lack-lu stre, low -energy march. The only thing that heart­ ened me personally after the march was seeing the amazing media cov­ erage across the country showing the successes in the other cities, sig­ nalling the success of the overall event.)

But how is it that such a situa­ tion exists, and persists? How is an executive of the SSMU allowed to be so selective in their performance (or, in this case, the non-perfor­ mance) of her duties of office? (Part of this particular problem could be the fact that out of a student body of, oh, 18,000 she was placed into office by 12 or 13 people...). How did it come to pass that a student government seems so out of touch with and unresponsive to the con­ cerns and wishes of its constituents?

Could it be the narrow parameters of the representation on council? It would appear that the make-up of council, the most important deci­ sion-making body of the Society, does not need restructuring to allow the wider array of student voices to be heard.

Third. Chris Carter for SSMU President, 1996/97.

Stephan Targett, President, PSSA (The Revolution comes in fits and starts.) about their abilities in the “real world” and their potential to be powerful players. In a world that often values control over need, pre­ dictability over diversity, and ulti­ mately mind over matter, being an “adult” is a daunting prospect. For a woman who hears that sexual harassment abounds, pregnancy leave is unprofessional, and bodies that take up a great deal of space are “greedy” and unfeminine, our repulsion toward our bodies is heightened.

And so we do what seem s only natural — we try to rid our­ selves of all that seems unpleasant or unprofessional to ourselves or others. We lose our hips and our menses, our breasts and our but­ tocks shrink to pre-pubescent pro­ portions, and we shave our bodies of all telltale signs that we are over the age of 14. We no longer resem­ ble the adult that we don’t want to be and we are finally in control of something — our own bodies.

There is a sense of urgency in policing what we put into (or don’t put into) our mouths, our exercise

Continued on Page 8 »

S ta ff

Andrew Boon, Barry Cam pbell, Chris Carter, Ja n e Clapp, D ’Arcy D oran, L ori Firem an, M arc Gilliam, N oah Gitterman, Sam J. Horodezky, Amy Kapyrka, Bryant Johnson, Stephan Kohout, Todd Kram ers, R achel Ong, M elissa Radier, Franklin Rubinstein, Dan Saragosti, S ara-Jan e Savage, Ja so n Sigurdson, Alison Slater, A lexandra Stikeman, Andrea Taneja, J.S. Trzcienski, E lizabeth Wasserman, B enji Weinstein.

February 13 th, 1996

ONWON

Page 7

The crime of denying yourself or society a day of indulgence [C olum n

C h a tte r B ox

Cornell Wright

Valentine’s Day was an event of some significance in elementary school. Cards were distributed from a box bedecked with hearts and arrow s, and sm iling teachers devised ingenious schem es to ensure that everyone received an equal number of cards.

In high school, V alen tine’ s Day shed its egalitarian veneer. The tenant of a nearby locker got choco­ late hearts and gushing cards from anonymous admirers too overcome with pubescent passion to sign their name. Never an object of animated adoration myself, I became a special investigator, responsible for uncov­ ering the identity o f Cupid-struck culprits.

Valentine’s Day at university is altogether different. People don’t generally send candies or messages

of goodwill unless coerced to do so by the coaxing of their companion.

With the exception of a winsome few, most souls in this sea of scepti­ cism scorn the senseless sensuality embodied by the annual caravan of love-struck strangers who flock to card stores and condom shops in search of charms for their mates.

This revulsion for romance is unfortunate because it encourages rather than challenges the cynicism that taints so much of our lives. We have grown accustomed to regard­ ing as naive people who believe in anything or anyone. We see emo­ tion as imprudent and faith as fool­ ish.

Many people contend that Valentine’s Day is a commercial creation and not worth fuss or excitement. They argue, not unrea­

sonably, that Valentine’s Day per­ petuates longstanding stereotypes about what constitutes coupledom and how amorous adults ought to look and behave in public and pri­ vate.

Y et we should be careful in scoffing at such “manufactured” sentimentality, lest we rid our lives of Valentine’s virtues as well as its vices. Simply because I believe that romance plays a positive role in society does not mean that I strive to live in harmony with the homilies o f Hallmark Cards. I reserve the right to infuse popular institutions with personal meaning.

In early January, a pollster sur­ veyed Canadians asking them to name one of their heroes, someone they respected, admired, or felt wor­ thy of citing for exemplary charac­ ter or contributions. Forty-four per cent of Canadians couldn’t think of anyone who fit that description.

Perhaps respondents misunder­ stood the question; maybe they felt that only world leaders or celebrated humanitarians could be classified as heroes. That’s one possibility, but 1 wonder whether there isn’t some­ thing more profound at work here.

Are we so bound to the drudgery of our everyday existence that we have become immune to the simple acts o f heroism that make our lives meaningful, or blind to the small niceties of life that make us smile and preserve our sanity?

If you look around campus, you’ll see faces stressed by papers that have yet to be written, by appli­ cations that have yet to be accepted, and by loans that have yet to be repaid. If you eavesdrop shameless­ ly as you walk through corridors, you’ll hear invitations to coffee and offers of friendship politely rebuffed because time is short and life is busy.

At the same tim e, we nod approvingly at the focus o f those who are wedded to their desks and the drive of those on the move. We are products of a culture that exalts reason and demands results.

Anything whose benefit cannot be immediately quantified is either unnecessary or extravagant. In my home province o f O ntario, our pugnacious prem ier w ill soon declare romance to be redundant.

Have we taken our concern with efficiency too far? When we

refuse to send Valentine’s greetings, are we looking for heroes in the sky rather than influences in our lives?

Are we missing an opportunity to appropriate a traditional institution and recast it according to our own reality?

I would hate to think of a world where we always eschewed calligra­ phy for type-face, or took the quick­ est route to school or work.

Thankfully, efficiency can co-exist alongside eccentricity and elegance.

Sometimes, indeed, poetry is a more expeditious mode o f expression than prose.

I fear for the kind of people we would become if everyone looked at moments of mindless monogamy through cy n ical ey es, or heard V alentine’ s greetings exchanged among friends with jaded ears.

May we all hang our heads in shame if ever it becomes a crime to breathe with hope or walk with faith, or if ever we fail to regard romance, courtship and friendship as things of sustenance and pleasure that deserve at least one day o f indulgence.

C o rn ell...w ill you be ou r Valentine?

For better or for worse...till the next 24 hours do us part u C o lu m n Z 2 CÛ

£ H

£àb Black C offee

Grocery stores arrange their grapefruit displays in the shape of a heart, and the lunch special is named the “love burger,” for two weeks prior to a certain holiday which shall remain nameless.

I have to think the p erfect relationship would last for one day, preferably that one day of the year when everybody is supposed to be in a relationship, and then you could dump your beau the next day. I ’ m not, how ever, talking about a fling. Flings are fun. Flings are lots o f fun. But there’s also something cheap about them, thin and greasy as 9 9 -c e n t pizza.

Relationships involve emotional investment, which flings don’t.

Flings better exemplify a throw­ away, non-recycling consumer atti­ tude, use it once and throw it out.

The best part of a relationship comes before it officially starts, in the build up and anticipation. Why else have people been watching Frien ds for the past two years?

You can tell a friend is considering going out with somebody when she expresses a sudden interest in aero­ bics. Not long afterwards, and the friend starts buying candles.

The second-best part is when you just begin to go out, for about the first 24 hours of the relation­ ship. T h e re’ s ju st the euphoric glow of knowing your beau is per­ fect, you’re great, the two o f you together are spectacular, and it’s a

Susan Peters

wonderful world. This euphoric state can be approximated to that induced by many drugs, of which I know absolutely nothing. But after the euphoria passes, I say cut it right there, end the relationship, and move on.

A one-day relationship means that you’ll get to spend at least one Saturday or Sunday m orning together, where you wake up, eat orange juice and muffins and read the paper, and pretend to be an old married couple. This is fun precise­ ly because you’re not an old mar­ ried couple.

But limiting the relationship to 24 hours means your beau won’t suddenly decide one day that he “trusts” you. Whenever your beau “trusts” you, you will proceed to pass long, angstful hours where your beau will recount his miser­ able childhood, damaging relations with his father/mother/peewee hockey coach, and how past girl­ friend s’ heartless treatment has resulted in his present inability to feel, communicate, or care about anyone else but himself.

The short space o f 24 hours means you probably won’t have to wonder w hether your beau has been cheating on you. And you won’t have to wonder with which of your friends he has been cheat­ ing on you. A 24 hour relationship means you never get to the point where you feel obligated to call up

the oT ball and chain and say, “I ’m going out to get some groceries, and then I ’m going to clean the bathroom. Do you want to come along?” And it means not having to say, “Su re, I ’ d love to com e alo n g .” Okay, now that I think about it, maybe 24 hours is a bit too long to go out with somebody.

A friend and I were discussing the new relationship of two mutual acquaintances. T h ey ’re serious people. He thought it would last about three years. People get less than that for major crimes. I say that if the good Lord had intended us to be monogamous, why did he give us ey es? C all it a sign o f attention deficit disorder, but long­ term relationships are highly over­ rated. A day or less is about how long it takes to realise that the beau isn’t perfect, and dam it, boys are cute on ce they take o ff th eir tuques.

The ideal 24-hour relationship

would end with both parties getting on separate trains or planes or whatever and heading off to differ­ ent cities. Naturally, your beau leaving you alone in the city where every coffee shop on the corner reminds you of the time you plot­ ted to overthrow the A m erican government fundamentally sucks.

Ending it quickly avoids the unsat­ isfied state where both you and

your beau think it’s time to end the relationship, but neither wants to be the first to bring up the subject.

A clean ending avoids the dilem­ ma, o f not wanting to be the one dumped, and yet also not wanting to be the dumper.

With any luck, Susan Peters will be spending Valentine's Day with ‘orange juice and muffins '.

Summer :m M ontréalL? Get in on th e a c t i o n !

Make money!

In fo in 1Cribune o n ly !

Only M cGill s tu d e n ts !

More a f t e r S p rin g b re a k !

Page 8

Op/Ed

February 13 th, 1996

[

Stop the Press...

W Continued from Page 6 regimen, and our appetite for food and sex. And if we are female, we avoid resembling one o f the most hated personas o f our day — the articulate, powerful woman who has not sacrificed her body or her fem ininity in the process. Mind wins over matter.

Given this analysis it becomes difficult to determine just what is normal behaviour in this society. In many ways, our system based on capitalist output, ends over means, and an outward appearance of con­ trol could breed nothing but these mentalities. Living in this world and NOT hating o ne’ s body —

God save the engineer!

Despite Stan Hume’s advice to the contrary, I ’ve become “hot and bothered.” When I first read “The Cyndicate” (Feb. 6, 1996), I was disturbed. Then I was confused.

Many of the facts used to justify the author’s opinions were not facts at all, and in those instances that he did have his fa cts co rrect, he almost completely misinterpreted them.

One of the complaints in the column was that most engineers have cut thémselves o ff from the rest of the world and never interact socially with the outside. All you have to do to refute these claims is take a cursory look around campus.

often the epitom e o f all that is devalued — seem s strik in g ly abnormal.

As in Doran’s article, media images are frequently offered up as the most viable cause of eating dis­ orders. This implies that the viewer has lost all agency and ability to distinguish betw een “lif e ” and “fantasy.” To some degree this is certainly true. However, people are not vulnerable to these im ages unless they have been raised and reinforced with an onslaught o f these messages from sources other than Madison Avenue. The family, our econom y, and perhaps our most clouted philosophers who have long placed the body as sub-

ordinate to the mind are in part to blame. Blam ing the media is an easy out because it relieves the viewer of any sense of responsiblility for the mentality that causes eating disorders and it artificially distances the reader’s world view from that of the freakish self-starver.

W e are all afraid o f losing control. You might say that people with eating disorders are SO suc­ cessfully in control that they’re out of control. You might also say that about our hemisphere, our econo­ my, and our values.

Abnormally yours,

You’d see signs declaring that the Pub N ite o f February 9 was brought to you by the faculties of engineering, science, social work, management and arts. You’d see tremendous numbers o f engineers out to support our school’s varsity sports teams. You’d see engineers providing over half the volunteers for Open Air Pub. I could continue, but I think you get the idea.

“F in e, engineering d oesn’ t completely segregate itself from the rest o f the universe, but you must admit that you do it more than other faculties.” I admit it and cher­ ish the fact. From the day I arrived at M cG ill, two years ago, all my fellow engineers have done is show me kindness and friendship. I

w ouldn’ t h esitate to say that they’ve become a second family to me. Indeed, one of my roommates, a first year arts student, has often commented that he wishes his fac­ ulty showed some of the together­ ness and spirit that mine does.

The closeness of the engineer­ ing faculty also has professional advantages. Almost every profes­ sional in the world feels bonded to others in her profession. I see this as a good thing. It lends to a feeling of responsibility to more than just oneself. In a profession such as engineering, where every single mistake can cost hundreds of lives, this feeling is important. I ’m very happy to see that the bond within the engineering profession begins in school.

In another section o f the col­ umn, Mr. Hume com plains that many engineers feel that they are “ lOOper cent better than most oth­ ers in this world.” I have difficulty believing that he means this seri­ ously. Yes, we wear T-shirts saying things to this effect, but only a complete fool would see choice of profession as the sole determinant of social worth. I don’t know any engineers who are complete fools, and I don’t know any who serious­ ly believe that their choice of facul­ ty makes them inherently better than others.

All in all, I’m just a bit disap­ pointed that a fellow engineer fails to see the points I’ve raised. I’m a bit disappointed that he insists on imposing his views of how a nor­ mal adult should act on the rest of us, and can’t let his hair down once in a while.

In clo sin g , I ’ d like to say, Stan, stop being such a Grinch, and God save the engineer!

W e b s it e .

T oday . h t t p :/ / w w w .a c c e n t .n e t / d m m m e r / t r ib u n e /

MAITRISE m RÉGIME COOPÉRATIF

avec stages rém unérés en m ilieu de travail Orienté vers l'intervention professionnelle en milieu de travail, le programme coopératif de maîtrise en économique offert par l'Université de Sherbrooke vise à former des économistes spécialisés en économie appliquée, capables de travailler au sein d'équipes multidisciplinaires dans les entreprises des secteurs public et privé.

Trois sessions d'études et deux stages rémunérés en milieu de travail.

Durée totale 20 mois RÉGIME RÉGULIER

dans le chem inem ent "recherche" Le programme de maîtrise de recherche permet à l'économiste de se spécialiser dans un domaine spécifique de l'économie grâce à l'analyse de travaux publiés dans son domaine, et à l'élaboration et à la réalisation d'un projet de recherche sous la supervision d'un directeur de recherche.

Condition d'admission Grade de 1er cycle en économique ou formation jugée équivalente Renseignements Téléphone (819)821-7233

Télécopieur (819)821-7238

Le directeur de la maîtrise Département d'économique Faculté des lettres et sciences humaines Université de Sherbrooke Sherbrooke (Québec) J1K 2R1

UNIVERSITÉ DE

SHERBROOKE

Masarah VanEyck PhD 2, History

L e tte rs

Libraries need funding I am writing in response to the

Tribune column “Chatter Box” (Jan. 30, 1996) by Cornell Wright, in which he deplores the inadequacy of McGill’s library resources.

I am in agreement with Mr. W right: the library’ s resources, especially when measured against McGill’s aspirations to excellence, are pitifully insufficient. My col­ leagues and I, in the Libraries, sup­ ported by many McGill deans and administrators, have drawn incessant attention to this inadequacy for at least the last decade. The university has slowly but definitely responded to this appeal by adding $2 million to the libraries’ base budget for books and journals. It is a measure of our desperate situation that even $2 million remains a woefully inade­ quate sum, after so many years of neglect.

With regard to the specific biographies o f Justice Thurgood Marshall which Mr. Wright could not find in McGill libraries, may I suggest that he make a specific rec­ ommendation to us for the purchase of these titles, and we will do our best to get them. We welcome stu­ dents’ recommendations to improve our holdings.

Finally, students should make known .their desire to see our libraries strengthened. They should urge the university to direct more of its fund-raising abilities toward this end. Student involvement in library fund-raising and in-collection build­ ing is indispensable, and we in the libraries welcome it with enthusi­ asm.

Dr. Eric Ormsby Director o f Libraries

...to the Editor SA V E SO M E OF YO U R P A R ­ E N T ’ S M ON EY. Not that they need to know. Let’s face it. There are times when saving your parent’s money is like saving your own. Now whether this is one of those times is completely up to you. (We just don’t want to know.) We just deal in facts here, not ethical debates...”

The student is urged to “get a great deal on Macintosh computers... just visit your Authorised Campus Dealer and spend some money, none of it yours — with any luck”.

One possible interpretation of this advertisement is that students are being encouraged to tell their parents the usual price of an Apple computer, then to get a “great deal”, and, presumably, to keep the differ­ ence between this price and the usual price for themselves. If this were not intended, it is hard to imag­ ine why the company would have thought it necessary to state that they were not engaged in “ethical debates.” This view is also rein­ forced by the title, that says “Here’s a chance to save some of your parent’s money. Not that they need to know.” Just the fact that this interpretation is possible is concern­ ing and it is surprising (at least to me) that a reputable company such as Apple would believe that an appeal to engage in unethical con­ duct was an appropriate way to mar­ ket their computers, especially to those whom, we hope, will be the future leaders of our society.

Margaret A. Somerville, AM, FRSC Gale Professor o f Law Professor o f Medicine Director, McGill Centre fo r Medicine, Ethics, and Law

Unethical advertising?

I refer to an advertisement for Apple Computers on the back page o f the M cG ill Tribune (Jan. 23, 1996).

I have read this advertisement several times and tried to ascertain the exact nature o f that which is being proposed. The advertisement states: “H E R E ’ S A CHANCE TO

blew Bardecki U2 Engineering

To the person who wrote us as “A non-sm oker in Jam es F errier Building It is unclear whether you intended your letter to be published as a letter to the editor or whether you meant to inform us o f the prob­ lem you are facing. Though we wish to respect your request to remain anonymous, we ask that you contact Joyce or Sylvie at 398-6789.

C o rrec tio n Patrick Shea, a first year law student, penned the Stop the Press “Problems with the Crown” (Feb. 7, 1996).

His name was deleted from print.

The T ribune regrets the error.

CRUISE JOBS STUDENTS NEEDED!

C o iffu r e

Earn up to $ 2 ,0 0 0 + p e r m o n th working for Cruise Ships or Land-Tour Com panies. W orld Travel (Hawaii, M exico, the Caribbean, etc.). Seasonal and Full-Time employment available.

No experience necessary. For more information call:

Latest Hairstyles FOR M EN

(206)971-3550

1 4 3 5 B le u r y • 8 4 4 - 1 8 3 7

E x te n sio n C 40891

C ut, S h a m p o o & Set

Special price for McGill students with I.D. card. n o rth o f S t e .-C a t h e r in e

T

February 13th, 1996

r ib u n e

A vx

O

b s e r v e r

Page 9

The obligatory Valentine’s column

IColumn T r o u b le

o n d

D e s ir e David Bushnell

Certain Tribune editors were afraid when they saw the schedule for columnists. They saw that my colum n would appear in the V a len tin e’ s issue and instantly came to the conclusion that either: A) I was going to be in love and the column would be sappy and stupid, OR B ) I was going to be lonely and the column would be bitter and stupid.

I refu se. I am not P rince Charming nor was meant to be.

Personally, Pd rather do any num­ ber o f things other than attempt a Valentine’s column. Love is either an idiot’s fairy tale, or a fairy tale for idiots, I forget which. Some cross the Bridge of Love in pairs, others alone, others just like the autoerotic subtext. [Like I have any b u sin ess w riting about lu v.]

Instead of writing some banal, 700word “love sucks and so do you” odyssey at 2 a.m . on a Friday evening, I could: 1) write nothing at all and go home early and get a decent night’s

sleep and get an earfu l from E d itor-in-C hief Sylvie Babarik, who already wants me dead becau se I w rite about her too much.

2) mention Tierney, a friendly yet insane redhead who wants to be “in on the scheme” to steal all the letters in Bernard Shapiro’s name from the wall in lobby of the Arts building. Like I would know any­ thing about that. H onestly, we should respect leaders like ‘Nard.

3) relate what a friend told me earlier today. She said that on Valentine’s Day a few years back, she decided to track down a fella she found attractive. Knowing only the street on which he lived, she tried every apartm ent in every building until she finally found him. When he invited her in, she saw that on his fridge was a list of women with whom he wanted to have sex. My friend was number three. There’s more to the story but I forget it.

4 ) d escribe the midterm in 210-392B, Introduction to Rock ‘n’

W AYS T O LEAVE Y O U R L O V E R ...

50

Car. Bicycle. Hydrofoil. Hovercraft. Through the door. Through the window. Through the car window.

Get the “Cats” soundtrack album. Parachute. Join the French Foreign Legion. Stop bathing. Or bathe with Scotch. Say it’s time for you to go back to Memphis to find your roots. Suggest a date at Superclub Mercedes. Suggest a date in Mississauga. Suggest a date at the Montreal Sewage Treatment Institute.

Suggest a threesome with Celine Dion. Suggest a threesome with Telly Savalas ( ‘cuz he’s dead, eh?).

Suggest a threesome with your mom. Start hanging out at Gert's. Laugh obnoxiously every time you hear the word “Chunnel”. Expound on the dietary advan­ tages of eating human flesh. Volunteer for the first manned spaceflight to Mars. Investigate Oswald’s connection to the man on the grassy knoll. Eat haggis three times a day. Parasail through the Bermuda Triangle. Become an antibody tester for the Ebola virus. File down your teeth to look like one of those

Roll. It was worth ten per cent of the final grade, it involved identi­ fying Beach Boys songs, it was 99 per cent multiple choice, and still all the Anatomy students were ask­ ing the poor professor for any kind o f hint beforehand, and still most of the management students had to cheat. That’s likely the reason for my abysmal (if entertaining) GPA: I ’m trying neither to get into med school nor to impress the personnel d irecto r from Sa ta n ic Multinational, Inc. It’s a little sad when a sessional prof com es to McGill and can’t explain the socio­ political impetus for Bob Dylan’s music because he’s interrupted and asked for the ex a ct date and spelling o f The Times They Are AChangin’, and it’s sadder still that I’m trying to suck up to him.

5) ex p lain that I ’ m not allowed to write my next column because - ’------------------- SSMU — --------------------------rat bastards — ’- -— --------------- ego trip.

6) quote L ou is-F erd in an d Celine, who wrote that “love is the infinite placed within the reach of poodles.” I wish to God I could figure out what the hell that’s sup­ posed to m ean. I think maybe something was lost in the transla­ tion. It might mean that love is great and people are chumps, but that’s idiotic. He’s French, though; maybe it ’ s supposed to be pro-

sexy vampires. Use acid to bum “Hey, Aliens: Land Here” on your lawn. Compulsively search for hidden messages in “Frosty the Snowman”. Rent “Dances With Wolves”... a lot. Wear one of those “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts. Or just get it tattooed on your fore­ head. Redecorate your apartment with bloody hand­ prints. Hop on the bus, Gus. Get a new spleen. Gene.

Find the time to enjoy watching grass grow. Show her/him your roadkill collection. Join one of those hip doomsday cults. Go off to Scotland in the name of science and study the ecological impact of bogs on the climate. Get into autoerotic asphyxiation. Join the Mafia and be incompetent. Spend all your time at the sperm bank. Wear black, drink imported coffee, and change your name to Chien Andalou. Let your lover catch you making out with her/his pet. Use your lover's credit card to pay for your $20,000 worth of Church o f Scientology personality improvement courses. Get your lover a job in a Moonie-run bakery.

Blare your thrash-sitar albums on your lover’s stereo until the speakers blow out. Write a Valentine’s Day sonnet and dedicate it to your lover. Title it “Ode to the most annoying person in the world.” And time it to coincide with a natural disaster.

found.

7) write about the February 7 Day o f A ction Protest the Cuts Demonstration M a rch ^ ^ , which was indeed the social event of the season. If you’re anything like me (and I know / am), you wait weeks for the opportunity to watch FEUQ duke it out with CFS while CEGEP girls chant u nintelligible strike songs and the Pulse News h eli­ copter gets dusted off and SSMU VP External Sequel Andrea Stairs ca lls the p o lice b ecau se sh e ’ s afraid UQAM kids will pillage and

Women have been known to fancy Mr. Bushnell and his nihilis­ tic charm.

CRO SSW O RD

by THOMAS JOSEPH ACROSS

1 Ark builder 5 Blubber 9 Ionian island 10 Lot units 12 Red Square nam e 13 Horned beast 14 Uses, as pressure 16 Wildebeest 17 Telegram 18 W ised up 21 Pig’s hom e 2 2 Spring Break destina­ tion, for short 23 Howled 2 4 Knight’s opponent 26 Gratuity 2 9 Intentional loser 3 0 W ith all o n e ’s m arbles 31 O m elet start 32 S uper­ m an’s dog 34 Oriental 37 Stellar hunter 3 8 Idiot 3 9 Colors 4 0 Fancy cracker spread 41 Palm

VJWAT?/ Ivodcc-rsc ir? AM i ju r r A*lon4£ü i4AMeuEcr EAcE?{ iUSTAMoTUEJS. CoZriMTHE

HELLO??

Wodr

bum Gert’s. Where were you?

8) be cynical and nihilistic and sarcastic and oh, so jaded. “We all die alone and afraid. Turn your back on hope and love.”

9) be happy and sw eet and n ice and oh, so cheery. “Yeah, right.”

10) call a girl and ask her out for a romantic evening: just her, me, and JD. This sucks.

rt»ne-r M.E?/

\

variety

DOW N

1 Sartre play 2 Like old coots 3 Blazing 4 Search 5 Prohibit 6 G erm an cry 7 N a m e in early flight 8 G e o rg e ’s pal in “O f M ice and M en” 9 Balls of thread 11 Bisque 15 Heroic role for C ooper 19 Store

29 31 34 38

■

Last w e e k ’s answ er door sign 2 0 N ew sm an Koppel 2 2 W ise fellow 2 3 C ave dw eller 2 4 Uncovers 2 5 S askatch­ e w a n ’s capital 2 6 Using a VCR

27 Com ­ pletely 2 8 Lowly workers 2 9 Not working, as a phone 3 0 Neighbor of Turkey 3 3 Decays 3 5 Play part 36 Born

Michelangelo Signorile on activism in the gay movement Writer Michelangelo Signorile has stirred up controversy in the past with his outings of ‘public figures’. In an interview with the Tribune, the outspoken activist explains the motives for his actions and contemplates the direction of the gay movement.

B y L iz L a u

Trib: In Q ueer in A m erica, you discuss the topic of destroying the closet by outing certain people.

Your new book Outing Yourself, however, is about personal choice.

Is there a conscious shift there?

Signorile: Queer in America was really a critique of the media with regard to sexuality, not just homo­ sexuality, and it was only about public figures. Outing Yourself was for the private individual who wants to come out on his or her own. O f course a public figure could use it. In a way the book is saying, “look, here’s a manual for you to do it yourself before some­ body else does it for you.” But it really is more of a self-empower­ ment book for average everyday people. I really don’t see one as a shift from the other. I think they work hand in hand.

Trib: You created a lot of contro­ versy by outing certain individuals in your columns. Why did you do it?

Signorile: A few years ago, you had the whole issue of gays in the military coming to a boil and the argument that the Pentagon used at that time was that gays were a secu­ rity risk. My outing of [Pentagon Spokesperson] Pete Williams actu­ ally killed that argument because here was a person in charge of pub­ lic information at the highest eche­ lons of the Pentagon, and he was gay. At the same time, they were throwing out the average cook or porter in the army saying they were a security risk. My argument was that it was relevant to an issue hap­ pening in the media. The public in these cases should know.

Trib: You draw a line between the public citizen and the private citi­ zen. But where do you draw a line in terms of discussing somebody’s sexual identity and sex life?

Signorile: I think that is something that we as journalists should not have an absolute rule on. I think

that we discuss all of these issues people brought into a presidential administration than ever before. all the time with regard to public people and we really look at them Even with this right-wing Congress, we have more openly gay congres­ all on a case by case basis. There used to be the blanket rule that you sional staffers. And then in don’t discuss somebody’s homo­ Hollywood, we have so much more in television and in film about gay sexuality, but there wasn’t a blanket rule that said you don’t discuss some­ one’s heterosexuali­ ty. You would d is­ cuss their sexuality or sex life whenever it is relevant. That’s what I ’m asking for here, that when jour­ nalists everyday are faced with really tough decisions, they weigh w hether the public should know that inform ation against w hether or not we should write about people and how it w ill a ffe ct their lives.

Trib: What has the gay movement achieved since the ‘80s?

Signorile: I think w e’ve really seen some dram atic changes over the last six to eight years.

T here are activ ists like A C T UP and Queer Nation push­ Signorile defends his outings o fp u b lic figures ing their agenda with in-your-face tactics.

There were people oganising in the people.

Democratic Party. There was pres­ Nonetheless, I would like to qualify sure on closeted power brokers in that by saying that th ere’ s tons Hollywood. A big thing was that in more to do. You still have actors the media, gay and lesbian journal­ forced to stay closeted for fear of ists were coming out of the closet in their careers being ruined. We look newsrooms. That was forcing edi­ at Washington and we say we got some things, but we’re still incredi­ tors to really deal with this social movement. The American media bly disappointed with Bill Clinton.

And as much as there are more now, esp ecially the New York openly gay staffers in Congress Tim es and several other papers, really focus on gay issues in much than ever before, I also think there are more closeted ones too because more complex ways. W e’ve seen with Bill Clinton more openly gay of this right-wing congress. So you

have a long way to go, and I think what happens is that you move two steps ahead and then you slip back one step. There’s always a backlash and that’s what we’re experiencing now, a powerful backlash by the religious right.

Trib: Outing people was one of the ways of mak­ ing people aware o f the situation. What else can be done to “destroy the closet”.?

Signorile: I think it has to work all over the place. You can’t just cri­ tique the power structure or the larger straight world. For all of our love and family aspects, a lot o f our community can tend to be very cold and competitive, particularly among gay men. It’s time to really look at our own com m unity where the d eficie n cies are and where we need to nurture more so that we can cre­ ate an environment that is healthier for people when they come out of the closet than when they were in the closet.

Trib: Per cap ita, Montreal has one of the highest numbers of bath­ houses. How do you see them in terms o f the transmission of HIV? Signorile: I have been told anecdotally from people that M ontreal’s bathhouses are very safe, very clean and that it’s a total­ ly d ifferent situation from the United States. My feeling has been that sex clubs and bathhouses have to be made safe, and not closed. I don’t think that would do any good in terms of educating people about HIV. That is something that we really have to focus on. In certain places in Europe, you can almost tolerate a certain amount of unsafe sex because the seroprevalence in

the community has always been so low. In New Y ork or San Francisco, the seroprevalence is so high that you can’t afford as a gay man to even slip up once or twice.

And my goal is to get the sero­ prevalence down so that everyone can be human, and slip up once in a while.

Trib: W hat would you say is a good course o f action on the uni­ versity campus in terms of student activism to raise awareness about gay issues or to destroy the closet?

Signorile: I ’ve travelled all across the Untied States from college to college and it’s just amazing to me what is going on. When I was in college in the early ‘80s, there was no organising and awareness build­ ing. I see what’s going on out there now. I tell people they don’t have to take over the chancellor’s office to be political. Being visible — writing opinion pieces in the news­ papers, writing letters, having pub­ lic events, being vocal — raises awareness and cuts down the closet.

A lot of people who are closeted are dealing with it when they are com­ ing out of high school, and it’s on the university campus that they com e out. They want to see as much as they can of the gay com­ munity and see that it’s made up of some people who are agressive a ctiv ists and some people who aren’t that way. For me, gay reli­ gious groups are also a positive thing. We need to offer people who are closeted a whole smorgasborg to choose from. And that means having as many groups and as much visibility as is possible on the campus.

biological information via odours is omnipresent in humans, yet the chemicals specifically involved in sexual com m unication are still uncertain.

Extensive research has gone into isolating chemical attractants among various other organisms.

Dr. Thomas Eisner, a chemical ecologist at Cornell University has focused on one particular organism — the moth. During courtship, the male moth secretes a chemical on his forehead and presents it to the fem ale as, what E isn er ca lls a “promissory note.”

The chemical is actually a sex pheromone derived from the plants on which the moth feeds, and is ultimately used for the chemical

protection of the female’s eggs. The female then samples the forehead and either rejects or accepts the male.

The moth’s selection of a mate also involves a second criteria — the sperm package. The fem ale moth will actually mate with up to four or five males, and subsequently compare the sperm packages of her rival males, according to Eisner.

The mate with the larger package wins.

“A fem ale is very choosy because she has an expensive investment in egg production,” said Eisner.

Dr. Ronald Chase, a M cGill Biology professor, specialises in

c f t £ o\ M ichelangelo S ig n o rile speaks tonight at 7:00 p.m. in the M cIntyre M ed ical Building (H ow ard-P alm er Theatre, 3655 Drummond).

Tickets are $3 and are avail­ able at bookstoore l’Andro­ gyne and Sadie's.

Is it biology, chemistry or romance?

B y A lexa n dra S tikeman

an emotions and the physical attraction between two peo­ ple be reduced to a single molecule or is the chemistry of love just a myth? For years, scientists have searched high and low for answers to why certain people become attracted to others.

Many theories governing the origins of love based on human and animal models have been devel­ oped.

One theory involving evolu­ tionary psychology focuses on what is com m only referred to as the

C

“Stone Age mind” and how it has shaped human mating behaviours today.

It states that women have evolved a psychology concerned with a m an’ s ability to acquire resources and provide protection for their offspring. Men, on the other hand, tend to focus on the fertility of a female and how successful he will be at passing his genes onto future generations.

Michaela Hynie, who recently completed her PhD in psychology at McGill, argued against the evolu­ tionary psychology approach to understanding the interactions between men and women.

“The evolutionary approach takes an extremely complex animal,

which is a totally social animal, and then seems to ignore the fact that society plays an extremely impor­ tant role in shaping human behav­ iour,” said Hynie.

Molecular emotions?

As for the chemical interac­ tions between men and women, studies are even more ambiguous.

Scientists have found a tiny organ in the nasal cavity responds to chem ical attractants, known as pheromones. However, our bodies secrete thousands of volatile chemi­ cals through sweat, saliva, sexual secretions and oily secretions of the skin.

The ability to communicate

Continued on Page 11 »

Features Pageii

February 13 th, 1996

Love potion number nine: finding the right aphrodisiac B y R a c h el S t o k o e

“They am aze me, th ese o ld rom antics. They stim ulate th eir nervous system to the point where they com pletely break down" — Fathers and Sons.

The heart can drive rational humans to highs — or lows — never imagined.

This phenomenon is magni­ fied every February 14. This sea­ son, you too may quiver in the knees, recognising suddenly your mortality and the ineffable nature o f love. You may find yourself engaging in activities o f utter des­ peration in an attempt to capture the transient fires o f passion.

Grinding up rhinoceros horns, secretly drugging glasses o f water with tsetse fly sperm, force-feed­ ing your object o f desire oysters covered in chocolate sauce...even if you’ve only considered the pos­ sibilities, you are not alone.

Are there any sure-fire aphro­ disiacs available? A working defi­ nition o f the term is needed to an sw er th is. An a p h ro d isiac, according to James Cantor, a doc­ toral student conducting research in n eu ro ch em istry and sexu al behaviour, is “ any substance that increases sexual function.”

Cantor went on to describe the unfounded assumptions sur­ rounding aphrodisiacs.

“There is a different standard for what we give men and women — with women, people see it as a m atter o f in c re a sin g sex u al desire,” Cantor explained. “With guys, however, it is only seen in

terms o f making him capable o f over sex guilt,” Cantor concluded, “Like alcohol, it just helps people sustaining or getting an erection.”

Cantor also made the dis­ tinction between drugs for the body and for the mind.

“It is also unfair to make a c le a r d istin c tio n betw een ch e m ic a l a p h ro d isia cs and non- [chemical aphrodisiacs],” Cantor assessed. “There is no chemical in something like an oyster — but a candlelit dinner with oysters can get you in the mood. Technically it’s a psy­ chological aphrodisiac, but it’s just as valid.”

On the topic o f the physi­ cal response to the psychologi­ cal e ffe c ts o f love p otion s, Cantor believes that the place­ bo effect is an effect.

“I t ’ s not fa ir to divid e physiology and psychology. In the brain, there is only one reward system — stimulation of any kind hits the same part o f the brain,” he stated. “I f a person believes strongly that G ood lovin ’ in a bottle the drug has an effect, it will.”

Sadly, for those looking for no less than a miracle, there have an excuse, or lose in h ibi­ are no drugs available that chemi­ tions.” cally increase sexual desire in a normally functioning human.

So what are the Cantor explained, “the human options? body works at peak performance already, any attempt to make peo­ With no satisfactory evidence ple better than normal is a huge that you can surreptitiously drug a task. O f course, if the person is person into loving you, what does below normal, certain chemicals work? Pierre Assalian, senior psy­ can bring them up to their peak, chiatrist and director of the human but you can’t raise it higher.” se x u a lity departm ent at the “Most o f the effect of aphro­ Montreal General Hospital, vendisiacs is just a matter of getting

The chemistry of love...

W Continued from Page 10 olfaction and mating behaviours in molluscs, and has found that snails secrete odours that attract potential mates.

They also have what Chase refers to as a “love-dart.” During courtship, the snails shoot this calci­ fied spear into their partner’s body.

R ecip ro cal copulation follow s shortly afterwards. Furthermore, a gland extract, or love potion, coats the spear and is thought to acceler­ ate mating.

Although these chemicals seem to play a large role in determining the reproductive fate of individual animals, the question as to how applicable are they to human behav­ iour remains unanswered.

“M ating odours are very important in non-humans but are not very important in humans,” said Chase.

“I don’ t think that [pheromones in humans] has been proven, but people keep toying with the idea.”

Social norms defy chem­ istry o f love Many believe that if all the organisms on the face of the earth originate from one common ances­ tor, then proof of chemical attractants and stereotyped sexual roles among insects and snails could be

similar.

“If [human mating behaviours] were truly b io lo g ica l, then you would expect that regardless of the so cial norms, they would tend towards the sex d ifferentiated behaviours; but in fact the opposite is happening,” said Hynie.

To measure how important a role sexual attractants or evolution­ ary psychology play in the mating game may be an impossible feat for scientists. But then again, do we really need scientists to unveil one of life’s most precious secrets?

equally applicable to studies o f human mating strategies.

“The whole idea of the female being choosy and the male offering a promissory note is clearly part of the human courtship paradigm,” said Eisner.

However, recent studies have shown that stereotypes such as these during courtship are signifi­ cantly less pronounced in humans, compared to other types of animals.

They have shown that attitudes towards mating strategies among men and women are actually quite

S

U

M

M

E

R

W

O

R

tured his p erso n al op in ion on procuring le baiser d ’amour.

“Love is the best aphrodisi­ ac...w h at we have betw een our ears and not what is between our le g s . It is said the b e s t sex is betw een p eop le who lo v e and re sp e c t one a n o th e r,” he p ro ­ fessed.

For those who can’t fathom fostering a whirl-wind of spiritual co n n e ctio n b e fo re doom sday (V a le n tin e s’ ), m ore tem porary fixes may be in order.

M a ssa g e (u se o f te s to s ­ terone cream optional:): Despite the lack o f em pirical research, m any p eop le b e lie v e in the swoon-enducing effects of a mas­ sage. A professional in the field of massage ‘therapy’ talked to the Tribune about the potency o f a massage.

“E s p e c ia lly the fe e t, they have every erotic nerve ending

F a c u lty of A r ts

K

T e a c h in g A w a rd

T h e M c G ill 1 7 5 th A n n i v e r s a r y O p e n H o u s e C o m m it t e e is a c c e p t in g

connected to every point o f the body. A good massage can make you feel like je llo , and get the o th er p erson to be to ta lly , TO TALLY depend ent on you ...n o t ju s t the stereotypical erogenous zones, but spots like the armpits, behind the ears., it’s all about getting in touch with yourself and sharing with some­ one you care about.”

T op G un s o u n d tra c k : P rofessor C aplin, in the m usic facu lty , has suggested that the answer for the love-lorn may not lie in a topical cream.

“I have not personally con­ ducted research into this area, but I have heard serious anecdotal ev id en ce o f m u s ic’ s pow erful aphrodisiac effects.”

O f course, finding the right blue note is crucial. Some swear

by Harry Connick Jr., others by Snoop Doggy Dog. Only in trial by error, case by case attempts, can positive results be reached.

T alk in g d irty : For those who don’ t own a strategically placed sound system , the right spoken word may get you in the honey pot. P ro fesso r T roide, a m em ber of the E n g lish D ep artm en t, fe e ls that poetry m eets the req u irem en ts o f an aphrodisiac.

“I guess it depends on what kind o f poem — I don’t know, I ’ve led a pretty sheltered ex is­ tence, but for example, Byron is pretty aphrodisic. It can work as a tu rn -o ff too — R o c h e s te r fo r example.”

Chocolate, mushrooms, and o y s te rs n o t m ixed to g e th e r : Cantor believes that, even though there is no proven, inherent chem­ ical in food, they certainly can add eroticism . “Anything that feels good is a turn on. In fact, any food put on the body is an aphrodisiac.

H .

N o e l F ie ld h o u s e

A w a rd

a p p lic a tio n s fo r th e p o s itio n o f

P ro gra m B o o k C o o rd in a to r Candi dates should possess excellent graphic design and layout sk ills as well as strong organizational skills.

For further information, please call Keith Gallop at 39&5S74.

A p p lic a t io ns s ho u Id b e s u b m itte d to : M c G ill 1 7 5 770 S h e rb ro o k e S t. Wtest, R o o m 331 M o n tr e a l, Q u e b e c H 3H 12 7

McGill

fo r

D is tin g u is h e d

T e a c h in g

A n y s t u d e n t , a lu m n u s , o r m e m b e r o f t h e a c a d e m i c s t a f f m a y s u b m it a n o m i n a t i o n .

N o m i n a t i o n f o r m s a r e a v a i l a b l e i n t h e F a c u lt y o f A r t s d e p a r t m e n t a l o f f ic e s .

P le a s e s e n d n o m i n a t i o n s t o P .C . H o f f m a n , C h a ir C o m m itte e o n T e a c h in g , D e p a r tm e n t o f H is to r y , L e a c o c k B u i ld i n g .

M 0M K H M

Deadline: Friday, February 23, 1996

LJ* * LJ

.d & u -e ,

* Sarah and Eric. Have the best wedding ever. Love, Syl & Soyce. * Harlot — My thighs bum for your love — hot love. Me. * To our 2— D Hose Bag, (Mmmmmm.....Jumbalaya). You’re beauti­ ful in every way — Don’t go changing!

ff Dear Val, You are the one I truly adore.

I hope we’re together forever more. Studly gamma. * To the sexy and succulent Rita MacNeil, All of my love. Shane. * Kashif, I’m funny, like a joke. Love, Rau. p.s. You’re okay.

*f GD, 1love you. CT. *f To MWRFC — Best of luck for next year. I hope it's as good as this one! We’ll miss you all. * Jon O ’Brief, light of my life fire of my loins, on and on you go. Love, Rachel V Sara Jean, Dave wants to know if he can pass out on your bed too. Love, Rau.

ff

Ok CCVW — You know you’re reading these, no matter how much you deny it . Happy Valentine’s Day. Your favorite representative.

V I — If you’re going to give me a veg­ etable for Valentine’s Day, can 1give you an action figure? — A.

*f Hor-Chung, Gordon Gano’s flamingo is all yours. Love, Rau.

*f Everybody’s cute, like a bunny. * Kerri —Thanks for everything — Keep your fingers crossed about next year out west. Love, A.

*f Chomski —Just because 1know how much you like being in the Trib...Happy Valentine’s Day. Your council cohort.

if

Logue —When you sec them, tell them from me, because I know them all, tell them, I love you! — Shakespeare’s Dog

if Dana, my name is — , I’m the Features editor. The girl one. Who am I? Love, me.

Dcz —6 days ‘till we party in the sun with your boyfriend Billy!

if

if

Sylvia. Sushi, movie.dancing, dim sum?

We can only dream for more lime. U R the best roommate. J.

if

L — I hope you’re using this opportunity to write something nasty about the Daily.

(Chevie surely will). But of course this is not about the Daily...A.

if

Joyce “joy-division"- l-au, where arc my night clothes? You are my sister-in-law... if Matt only knew., love. Ray-ray

.

*

always making eye contact with: When are you going to ask me out? Guy in Black Hat.

To Cheryl Oelsner, if it wasn’t for you, I would skip Bio 201 all the time. Paul Harvey’s friend.

if

SP Happy Valentine’s Day, SIMON SWEETIE! I love you, honey bunny bunny bunny! Love, Olivia.

if

*f To the sexy stage-manager of Cabaret.

if Matt, Close to a place, close to a place...

What you are truly close to is my heart! I love you my little Hick! Jenn.

* Nat. Power is the key. Luv, RAJ.

Dear Ian: you are so innovative. We love you.

V Happy Valentine’ s Day, Erin! Glad we went for coffee. Su. * Dear Christina, you are so credible. We love you.

Tzatziki, I love you. Thank yu for 2 wonderal years, xxx B.T.

if

* Tanim. chickens are nice, but wouldn't be better you were a bird that could fly?

Love, Rau * Smokey, You’re as sweet as honey and for that I am glad, ‘Cause you're the best Valentine that I’ve ever had! Love Always, Karolita Bandita. Olé! * Sandwich, i know you wear CK undies, and one day i’ll get it in print

if

Happy Valentine’s to my new fiancé! I love you with all my heart Anthony. Here’s to a happy future together. Love, your babe, Lindsay.

aPVivian & Don. You will have great suc­ cess in life if you stop using script font.

Love & Thanks, J. * Pookie: even though we’re not together on this day, you will always be my sweet­ heart. I love you dearly! P.J.

if To my Italian Stallion, From two differ­ ent worlds. One drunken night. Who would have guessed, that it would turn out like this? Love Jenn.

if Tomas — though the medium may leave something to be desired, at least I get to announce to the world that I love you.

Sylvie i? Lester, I don’t want to marry you any­ more, ‘cuz you’re already my live-in

* Stephan: it’s purple!

if To my Prince Zebulon, You’re my one

if Tal - feclin' left out? Join us in the fun.

and only ruler on high! Love always, Princess Zeltron.

Yuen Shan

* Dear Meredith, you arc so marvelous.

We love you. * Dear Gabe. You are never grouchy. We love you.

* Passion Soul, You are a gorgeous moment Light emitting worlds envelop the sea. You arc the one. 1love you.

if

ap Dearest Anne Marie. Neither English, Spanish, French nor German words can express how much 1miss you. Dad.

* Dear Robin. Birds have your name. We love you.

P.M. dawn, YIWTMYALHEA. even though you won’t read this, well it makes me happy to think it.

Dear Candace: You ar so cuddly. We love you.

V To my one and only Pooh— Bear (Jabar, Jeffles, Honey-Bunny, Sweet...). Have a happy Valentine’ s day and remember that Veaber loves you always, xx.

if

if

Riz Rau — me thinks you is the cat's meow. Sssvvly

* Dearest Laura — Life is so much more lovely because of you. N.E.C.

To the chick in my plether pants, i know you know i’m hitting on you, so when are you gonna run away to Manitoba?

* To Porky, Happy Valentines Day cutie pie! Will you be my valentine?! Our lives are too exciting. We had to take action!

And I mean now, damnit! Love alway, A.L. * Barry, are you the Campbell kid? Love, Boss

if

Kurt, you entertain me...and I mean that as a compliment. Ssslyv

if

Kel, Did I forget to tell you that I love you? B. * Elena and Marblehead, Happy Valentines Day! Don’t break too many hearts. Anni.

Karolo and Jennie. On this day of love, let our friendship be the best Valentines gift.

*f Rachel — all you’re missing is wings, angel. Ssssly * Kareeni: Happy Birthday. Get your arse to Ireland.

V J. (M.B.P.) V.: I love you, you freak! — Stinky. * Caro, you are the lemon in my gin, the cherry in my pie. and the beakon in the murky waters of my soul.

thang, and that’s why I know they’ll never get to you. Love lot of Riz

if A. Drop I. Like a load of bricks and come to me. We belong together. — Damion. (I hope I. doesn’t read this. He’ll kill me.) *f Sweet schmoofy Sara Gupta. You are

Sarah Jean Green, betcha I’ll beatcha on deadline from now on! — O’Brief

if

Happy Valentine’ s Day to THE E X ­ HUNK! — LH.

if Dear non-dairy Creamer Shelby: You’ll

if Jason, c ’mon super news-writer, you’re

*f Shmer; Where you there? So much!

be my lazzi girl for eternity! — Your beloved sound boy.

a monster under that calm front. Riz

Whatever! Here’s to dancing in the livingroom, and when it rains it pours. Love, love, love, Bean.

if Hey N.C. Be my Valentine! Letting you know that I am having a good time. And no, you are not a bad influence. — Suzanne.

ff Jason Laino, Can we convert you?

if

Sandwich & Muffin, 1love you so much, 1want to maybe someday be a sand­ wich or muffin,too. Hail Priscilla! J.

if

if Shannon, what else do you have in that cabinet? Yeah, that’s why it’s no entry allowed. Love, Rau. if

kurt, you rock my world, remember, bite their heads off first, then they don’t feel anything. Hey, it rhymes!

* Dear anatomy: A happy Valentine’s to all and to all a good night. — J! * Dearest Sar, Stay Jules and the wickedest roomie ever! Happy V— day! No more moods, states or smokes., um, yeah.

Love ya, Sim.

if

Dear Oliver: You are so ostentatious.

We love you.

if

Dear Gillian. You are so groovy.

Especially in your leather pants. We love you.

M&B.

«f

Pat & Jeff, Get your Masters in Sex Education, Coloniale & Sherbrooke, evenings only. XO, M&B. J.S., you write, we edit; it’s like a match made in heaven. Love, Liz

*f

To Paul Harvey, You drive me nuts, if I dump my boyfriend will you give me a chance? Knockers.

if

Dearest Babyke: You have touched my heart live nobody else has even done. You have shown me the meaning of tree love.

Imadlak. — Elvis.

if

if

* Aquaman: one fish, two fish, red fish, you fish!

*f Ode to Sylvieftsh — You’re a slippery

Stay wicked, but avoid DD on Sat. nights!

Rcccally. Love ya, Sim & Sar.

if

* Christiane, you’re all laid out. Love, Rau

Gert’s bouncing, I want to touch you.

*f Sarah, Don’t worry, Sweetie! Coop will

Ursula — You’re so cool! XO Your secret admirer.

* Dear Lori, when the blossoms fall/ In Autumn, you keep all the/ Planets in a line.

ff To Paul Harvey, When I see you at

* Happy Valentines Brig, Gina, Er, and Catherine! Luv, Roomie #5.

if

Dear Suzy, you are a superlatively sweet, sassy, swingin’, slick-chick. We love you.

if Dear Rachel, Oh desirous wonderful being. I love you. — A secret admirer.

if To SLOWRAH: HEY HORNY TOAD!

* Dark room boys, thanks for keeping me calm, sane, & smoking. Love, J. jia jia

* Tyla, you know deep down you really, really.reaally love me. News editors are freaks, love, your buddy in that section that doesn’t really belong in a newspaper.

* Chris, do you think Mike will be my friend? How convenient, a yes/no, “that’s cool”, question. Riz

* Dear Janice. You are so far away from me, yet you are always with me. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love. Rich.

if

* Burrito! Burrito! Burrito! MUACK!

* From out of the ashes ... Jon O’Brien!

Now you’ve got me doing that wacky voice. Dave.

if Jon, you obviously refuse to accept fate.

C’mon, I don’t fight the power no more.

Riz, the co.

if

* Reuben, your sandwich-like qualities make you bettter than burritos. Love, Rau. p.s. hey, you shaved.

don’t you have a six feet rule? XOXO

* Reuben and Christiane, though you may be seperable, I love you together. Woa, Babies.

* RAJRAJRAJRAJRAJRAJRAJRAJRAJRAJRA JRA J We love you and damn well want you to know it! Sim & Sar.

V Dearest Green Jean, you’re a beautiful soul. I hope you can always surround your­ self with people who recognise that fact.

Love Slivy.

*f Kelly Remai, I’d like to be near you, but

if

if Joyce, 1don’t care what anyone says, I think you’re lovely! Your big co.

Lady, I need your love more each and every day. You let me see the beauty, won­ der, and joy of all things. Eternally, wooly.

if Joyce, How do I love thee, let me count the ways, Nick.

Bryant, Everything you say is Greek to me. 1just laugh when you laugh. Love. Riz

* Dear Stefan. You have nice skin. We love you.

if

Hopefully one day you can smoke one with me. Madame X.

*f

* Karen Templetoes: I ’d pick you over a cooked, organic topinambaur anyday.

Love, Al XXX.

Kashif, there is a cosmic link at work when you think of all the mutual people we know. Coincidence? I think not. love, your arabian princess.

*f Michael J., I know how you like cigars.

reason enough to believe that angels walk among us. As always, I remain your warm and loving Teddy bear.

Dear Harry. You arc so happy. We love you.

if

I ’ve loved you from afar. I promise you a world of possibilities, if you come into my room.

* Dave, 1can’t do this when you're sitting right beside me. Rau

If

Peter, from psych, stats, this summer; we met at Gert’s. If you want to get togeth­ er sometime, e-mail me at BX&F@musicb.mcgill.ca...Natasha.

if

if The girl in American History who I ’m

* Godot: Where have you been all my life? —Sam.

if

LJ* * LJ

if Marlisa, you Tried-Mann. But don’t try too hard. Take it easy, sweetie. Lotsa love, Liz.

* Justin —I treasure your presence in my life. L.

Sam, your handwriting bears a remark­ able resemblance to that of our cartoonist.

»

* To the sexy muffin who won’t eat the cookies I buy her: I know you like me and Kurt best.

* Ray-ray, J. is mine. Rau-rau.

if

«

Dear Melanie. You are so melodious.

We love you.

if

J.S. Trzcienski you make us happy, here in the basement, stay an extra year and make us happier * Tanya, Joe will be so jealous that he didn’t get a valentine at the Trib. Love, Liz V Dear Nina. You are so gnarly. We love you. * Dear Alysha. You are so alluring. We love you.

if

Dearest Ryan, your flowing hair, your warm confection, I almost don’t care, about that infection. Love, Sasha Kolkov.

Sturzenberger, are you sowing your wild oats yet? Love, Liz

QPIRG Board of Directors: You are the sexiest bunch of PC fascists I could ever hope to claim my $3 refund from. X X X a secret admirerer.

Aaron, one day we’ll make it to the other side of the guiser and drink blueberry wine from ponds and everything will be fine and dandy in the universe

if

Ryan Levitt. What a smoocher! Luv, Teeth.

if

* My dear Mr. You — I love you. I thank you. You are the window that lets the sun­ shine through. A Good Woman.

Ryan, pull out those velvet pants, shave and ... wee no make mistake! Hugs + kiss­ es. M.

if

Vivian, MacPoulet loves you more than you think. Love, Liz

if Ryan, what else do you do? if To Shatner, all my love goes to the only

* Dear Tierney: Did I ever tell you I love you? I guess not because I am you most secret admirer.

captain who makes it so for me. Engage, from your admirers. After all, who are you to argue with 600 intelligent students?

* A: you are an idiot. TD

* Isha and Mel, the two biggest shit-dis­ turbers in shop! Luv ya lots. M.

* Priscilla — Don’t tame the wild god!

Keep your feet on the ground. XO Darko’s apprentice. * Sara Jean, you’re so sweet and keen! even if everyone thinks we’re dykes, well, at least our names haven’t been linked in the tabloids.

if

Sam, Sam (laPEdus), you know where I am...come along...and write...for me. Love, Liz

if

Tyla-Tyla-bobyla-banana-bana-bobylame-my-mo-myla...Tyla. You’re grand and you do a fine piece of work. Sssly

Moe: 1000 thank U’s 4 1000 OKO’s UR “The 1st & last, one & only, the Alpha & Omega.” UR inverted spectrum: LI

If

Veenita, Pina and Francine: Happy Valentine’s Day — To my parents in crime.

Love, Jen.

if To the Girl who rocks Gert’s on Thursdays — You’re dreamy! — Babealone.

never find out about us. Lookin’ forward to some lovin’ tonite! — Bob. V Helen — my sweet huggable poetry nymph — XO your secret admirer

Dear Ziggurat man, yotir a wild and crazy dipsy diving kinda guy love, oh never mind, that ruins it.

*f To the Daily: still across the hall, still shakin’ your heads...

*f Lovely Susan Peters: While you may always wear beads, I find you by no means beady. Would you have coffee with me sometimes?

if Happy Valentine’s Day to all my roomies on 3663 Lome! Love, the one with the office. *f “I love A, because I love A.” This argu­ ment is ‘circular’ according to the LSAT Practice Books. I.

if To Paul Harvey, Please give me the big one! — Cheeks. if

Stephan, the punch line, baby, the punch line! Love, Rau.

if Tanim, my partner in tibetan practice, one day you will make me prawn curry. * D! Happy Anniversary. E.H.

if

To Nadia — Your hair is golden & sweet amber, your legs silken & tan. And that nose ring...A secret admirer.

*f To Chomski, Kottler, Wolfson,

if

Hoffstein, Mazoff, Gorodzinsky: Happy Valentine’s Day from the Ultimate Shiksah.

if

if Kurt you are my silent partner in crime.

1believe you give the Tribune “mirth”.

Rachel: You’re my Cadbury Egg. Love, The World.

Dear Roberto, You are so ribald. We love you.

if

Smel: Here’s to spontaneously bursting into tears, cokes & smokes. Happy V-Day! Love, Sim & Sar.

ff

Ahoy, Cap’n Shawn! A thousand lashes to the naysayers! Yer so cool. First Mate Dave. * Hoffstein, my favorite tutor — thanks for everything (let’s hope it worked...) Shall we merengue? — A. * Eric! She’s got a boyfriend!

*f Simon, Déjà vu. What? We love you.

Sim & Sar.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

*f Genesee is really quite attractive. if To Matt Roy, big brother, listener of my rants, and a placid sense of equilibrium in the throws of my existance

*f I hope you’re not an editor. *f To Paul Harvey, Let’s get together and have a wild-one! I’ll bring the bananas. — Geritol

if

Rebecca and Mike and Mike and Matt and Jacqui- Hi, can I come over? A thou­ sand thanks. Tim-Dave.

ff

Paul Slachta, you are

100% all man.

. . .

c

o

- m

Gratitude forever, Red Herring.

4P Dear Helena, Thanks for your undying support and relentless determination. Love - the SSMU clubs and services.

V To Paul Harvey, I wish I could see the bottom half of that sexy body at Sadie’s. Wangly.

4P Rachel, my sweet existence, my love, all that is good. I love you! Carolina.

4P Carolina, are you flirtin’ with me? love, sunflower 4P Nick C, you sold me some bad stuff.

Now I have to kill you. Joe.

4P Mila, will you be my son? Love, Liz 4P Leroy loves Lorie!

4P To Daily Staff, DIE! Love, K.R. 4P Joycetotheworld, the short one is done You don’t make deadlines, but you make me happy. To George! Love, the other Lau.

4P Liz Lau. And how. Luv always, Dave 4P To Schmain & Russited, watched any P—movies lately?? How ‘bout one tonight?? —Love, Sim, Sar & Raj. 4P J.H. —Who says you can’t get to Casper without leaving your desk. E.H.

4P Riz Rau. You are funny. Funny Ha Ha. What do you mean??? xoxox T. 4P To Nick —Tm carrying your child.

(ed note: uh oh Nick) 4P A Valentine for a kitten. You’re too far away. Whadja Do?? Oh, I'm retarded. 1 love you. xoxox. T. 4P Susan Peters. I like. Love, Liz. 4P Mila, you are my Shogun. Keep on keepin’ on. Samurai Dave.

4P Jeff—there’s no ‘Valentine—o—grams’ so here you go. Happy Valentine’s Day. xoxoxT. 4P Kelly, make my Valentine’s Day and give me money. Please! —Aaron P. 4P To the poet of my dreams, the emblem of the romantic sublime 4P Rodica—Lady—in—waiting—you’re the best —Thanx for making me laugh and smile. Never change —Love Nishi.

4P Tyla, No...I only wear briefs when I need to speed read the papers. O’Brief.

4P Don McGowan, I understand the briefs, but what the hell are those dots? Love, Liz ¥CW: this is the last time I’ll say it: Dump him! You’re way too sexy for anyone else.

4P Dear Anne, I’ve always dreamt of hav­ ing a menage à trois with you —do you think Ian would be UP for it? Simon.

V To Dr. Kelly D.,A Special Valentine Wish to you,/ Includes dinner if you want it too./ Miss that you’re not around,/ Glad it’s school where you can be found./ Work hard, keep your nose to the grind stone,/ Want to see the sign that says, “Dr. Doolittle’s in Town”./So now I leave you a small x&oJ For as a friend that’s as far as I dare go./ Your Poet, Ron 4P Cornell, Forest Hill it is. Can I also say, you write some fine columns? Love, Liz 4P Comely Julie Harris: You are my moon, my stars and my galaxies. From Teddy Ruxbin, your story—telling bear.

4P Hey C.Y., Friends 4—ever. Happy Valentine. S.S. 4P Jay and Nat - just cuz I’m telecommuni­ cations impaired doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. J. 4P Dear Lori: You are so luscious. We love you.

4P Tyla, I appreciate your puppy eyes and your incredible sense of logic. Blink-blink.

Love, Riz. 4P Prof. Troide, it’s better to be a live fly than a dead poet V Dear Madison, I’ve always wanted you —Chris C. 4P Mailan, You’re my hero sexy legs. B.

4P AMALIA SFORZA— Tiamo molto. Ich habe keine Geld. Happy Valentine’s Day. Three blind boobs...xoxoxT. 4P Liz! Good thing I’ve got my O’Brief Uniform™ like superman has his. Just snug those ball-huggers tight and off to Briefland I fly!

# # # • pug

e

4P Altoid says no flying! Your co.

4P Nathan, I want you...I need you...I love you! Be mine, for now and forever. Love always, Annie.

4P Rachel oh goddess. I love you. You make me feel good. —Jennifer.

4P Dear Rachel, We go together like Peaches and Cream...

V A.S. You’ve got a BEAUTIFUL lobby!

4P Holy PowWow(RizRau) sibling dynam­ ics! U ‘da coollest cuz U mock dumb posters & hold me together. J.

4P To my 3 roomies, JES, TAT & TON, Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s to Birchy, wonderful Valentine’s Day. 4P A. One Man’s experience is worth mere­ Frank & Bob...you never know! Love Sar. ly a green vegetable in the final analysis. — 4P Bernard Dupuis, This is the greatest Valentine’s I’ve ever had. Thanks Honey!!!

I. Louise H. 4P To Muff n, the girl who’s always asking *P Hey you, Moosehead Lake, Sky diving, if I’m on her and then rushing me to get Late night chats...and cats. It’s been a long, off: Happy VD, I know about your affair winding four years. You are my sunshine. with MacP...you could have had a guy with Thanks for being in my life. G.E. class.

4P Chou, même si t’es pas ici, je t’aime 4P Matt Roy, a bottle of Lubriderm as a quand même! —Chouchou. sign of my love. Riz 4P Rachel, You are the sunflower of the 4P Karina Walsh, I took the mirror down world. and got rid of my camera. Will you come back now?

4P Ray-ray, I’m your god. RR Whe Tribune screwed up last year, but 4P Jenny, trouble is good for you. you got a Valentine this year, Jen Enos.

4P A. Can I bring a spotlight next time?

4P Sylvie —thanks for not killing me yet.

How about a series of (lares around the xxoo Dave room? If you hated me, you'd let me.

4P MAR MAR —There will be an interven­ 4P Alex. P. God you amaze me! I'm sorry 1 tion. Happy Valentine’s Day “dater”. wasn’t receptive, but you've made me You're cute. I love you. xoxoxoxT. change and feel like a woman. You know where to find me, Colette.

4P Susan Peters is an attractive and dynam­ ic human being. Sorry, but that’s not my 4p Rachel: You are my carrot. Bugs Bunny. definition of a “loser”. Dave 4P Big chief and Swiss-woman, So you 4P Dear SSMU: I know of no other group think you’re leaving next year and that I’ll of self-satisfied, back-—stabbing, simple— miss you. Oh REALLY? Ixtve.Mini chief. minded, grammatically—incorrect losers 1 4P Kaya: Keep your frigging mouth shut. that I want to wish a Happy Valentine’s Happy V-Day. J! Day. So there. Dave. P.S.: Stall packing.

4P Dear Nicky, Seeing you is tike spending V Amin: where’s the love, MAN. Dana. a day in the Louvre. Your French accent is 4P Happy Valentine’s Ian Wineberg: Just music to my hears. 1cannot wait until your because it doesn't fit on the first try, whisper the magic words in my hear...eter­ doesn't mean it will never fit. Please don’t nal love, A.P. lose hope. For me? *P Happy Valentine's to all of the chocolate 4P Dear Patrick Enfield, Happy Valentine’s eoverting. concupsicent copulating, Day! Stay strong. Love, Jen. whipped cream devotees of the Esoteric Temple of Purification. Love, Reverend 4P Amin, you're getting me into trouble.

McIntyre’s Divine Council.

With two guys. Love, Liz 4P Happy Valentine’s Day Caroline Jew. 4P ERSIE! Don’t stare. I will wake you Here’s to another decade of singing and gently, with a croissant. Why do ya freak? four floors, although, sadly, no Tenniel I love you. Adios Fruitcake. xoxoxT. Chu. He was a dope—head anyhow.

4P Rachel: Pun-puns. Joojoo.

4P A. Bahy. I want to throw you on the oochi-cootchie-coo. I love you. council table and read motions and minutes 4P Sarjeangren. You are my co. Ho dee do. to you all night. M. Le Bébé.

Happy Valentine’s Day. xoxoxT. 4P Arielle, You turquoise eyes are like a 4P John O’Brief. Try not to wear briefs. deep sea. Blond hair, beutiful legs, amazing Happy Valentine’s Day. smile, God, an angel must he missing in 4P H.G. Cheers to opera, T.O and chess.

Heaven. Love, the boy from 2 of your Happy Valentine’s Day. Lobster. classes.

4P Neil, In vino veritas, eh? Jen. VDave —1 know you fancy yourself the bad boy of McGill, but I think you nice.

•P To the Alley, three tapes. Buy more.

Sslv 4P SS, So glad we’re celebrating another 4P Dear Erdelyi, Can we meet you for Valentine's Day. Mayberl’ll remember my Valentine’s Day for your new improved wallet this year! YTBLA&F (ed note: little library. Love, Karen Kwok. heart pciture here) Sar XOX. 4P Phocbe/George: Roses are red/Violets ^Bryant —Thank you for being are blue/ I’m equipped with chocolate funny...You make me smile. S.B. blocks/ And lots of veins too? My shirt's O J —Ireland’s going to kick ass —mucho well tucked/ And my hair’s not askew/ I’m bases. Kareem fit enough to be/The perfect guy for you!

From: A very erect secret admirer.

4P Harris Indie Newman. We miss you. I do. Love, Liz 4P To Cheryl Oelsoer, you make it so hard to concentrate in phys 210. Paul Harvey’s 4P Karina: the window washer is lonely Friend without you.

4P Dear Jen HARDing —may you have a

4P Kaya —I hope you sec that guy you lust

4P Dear Jay: What could be a better V—D

after naked.

4P Layla: What can 1 say about Layla?

What can I possibly say about Layla that hasn’t been said before? Well, stuff that’s printable anyways. —J. 4P Fair Amy Lang: The Lang girl in Mr.Holland’s Opus pales in comparison with your radiance. Your improvisation technique is simply without equal. Happy Valentine’s.

4P To J: Spread your love around. Sharing between friends is a wonderful thing. Kaya.

(Molly’s roomate).

4P A de F —Do you want to...how you say, Merengue? E.H. 4P Nick Roy, we’ve done the smokes and the beers. How ‘bout the coffee? Love, Liz VAny time, any place, Liz, my love. Don’t forget we got a date next Wednesday. Nick.

gift other than my love? George •P Sylvie B. —stop running away from me —the SSMU mole 4P To Christiane and Reuben —the Tarzan and Jane of Layout. I love the way you stroke MacPoulet.

4P Yeah, well, how do you think MacPoulet feels?

4P Hey! Alison, Cliona, Beth, Daria, Monick, Shazia, Katie, Sylvie, Meredith, Colleen. Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Su. 4P Josh, watch your fingernails, thanks for protecting us from Street Man. There’s a big blue thing hangin’ outta yer pants!

Love, Sim + Sar. 4P My H.O.B. Valentine, a special delivery sending you all my love on V—Day. 25 words cannot describe how I feel for you. I LOVE U!

v Lisa —thanks for all those late night body rubs —AK. 4P Sho, thanks for being such a cool room­ mate! Love, Susan.

4P Hey roomies —guess who/Valentine haiku, how sweet/Throw hearts off ninth floor.

4P To that really cute Physiology President

—stop calling my girlfriend, punk!!

4P Elaine (the one with the great rosewood hair and the sarky cynicism): Hey GOR­ GEOUS, looking forward to the Boston Tea Party...You bring the biceps(?!) and the Earl Grey. I’ll supply the hugs (proper ones), a massage, and of course the tabanka. P.S. I’m sorry this Valentine’s isn’t more exciting, but you are, after all, an acountant, Love, Michael B. 4P To a certain Beatles song: let’s keep this smple so you won’t need three weeks to figure it out...What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel?

4P For a doctor/cheerleadcr —misery loves company, pal —NC. 4P Lori: Happy Valentine’s Day (oh boy) and speak out! NC. 4P For Marisa C.: absence makes my heart grow fonder—I’m thinking about you xo —Nick.

4P Ham, you got the place, I got the Panda!

—Monkeyman.

4P To my sexy TA man, I promise not to bring up skiing again —until next winter.

“Sweet One ", 4P Hey Swetz —I’ll meet ya under the willow tree —I-ove forever, SnowAngel 4P How Now Wiz Wow, Mall.

4P Ann, Jessi, Liz, Monica, Krista, and Mark, you crazy Players Exec, Happy Valentine’s Day, Mer. ^Christiane & Reuben - what the hell have you done to our newspaper? Love Nick & Ram. 4P To the boys of 3983 Clark. I want to play with your ball, l-ove, Spider.

4P Bettine, Thanks for the morning coffee and bedtime chocolates on my pillow. Your sleepy roommate.

4P Sara Jean you're the best —from your SSMU mole.

4P Rob C, you rock my world! Happy Valentine’s, love Meredith.

4P Children’s Hour Gang: where have you been hiding? I still love you, your director/Big M. 4P Brian, you”re our favorite Cabane Dinner date. Love on Valentine’s, The Girls of Coloniale.

4P Lisa G, the Rhodes Chick with magicfingers, have a sexy V—Day! Mer. 4P Marla S, have a Kosher Valentines. Next year in Jerusalem, Love, Your favourite cuz.

4P Aycsha: Thanks for everything, babe!

Take it easy & remember that things will work out for the best. One of these days our little Sparc dreams will really come true!

Luv, Roops.

VI know you’ll see this Mike. Did you ever finish the book 1gave you? Your boss on Mondays.

VI know you’ll never see this. Ram. But I don’t care.

4P Ncighb —when you’re on stage, I will make you laugh! xo the Booth man.

V Ryan, the man with the mouth, I hear it’s good for more than gossip. Try it this V— Day w/Second Cup Boy! M. V Roger from Realism and Impressionism, my blond friend from Chorus Line is so hot for you!

V J.P., you singing/directing god. Thanks for curing my fever.

V Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two, but I don’t know they got there.

V Prof. Bonis, You’re our hero you Lyle Lovette look—alike. S + S V K&R, U all so freaky-styly, who got you this dumb job? Hugs, kisses and therapy.

Me. V Lisa, you’re utterly beautiful. And I’m

not fake! !! OK, so coffee’s not your thing.

How about hot chocolate? xoxoxoxo your secret admirer.

V To the cute boy at Improv marathon: Why’d you leave so early? Will I see you again?

V Fonz you lesbian goddess! Remember endless nights at O’Side, wrestling, furies, little blue envelopes. I’ll love you forever and always, femme—baby! Tainy-Mary.

V Neil, don’t be lonely, love you. Costume God. Costume Goddess.

V Simmy, we are standing in line waiting for the bus at the bus stop sign and along come two gorgeous...whatever. Sarah.

V To the cute boy in II0-203B with the brown curly hair. You’re the sweetest thing since apple pie. Will you be mine?

V Rachel, you are the bestest film goddess ever (even though Georgia wasn't my fave). M + J. V Karen Kwok - I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

4P Marina, how’s your movie star fiancée?

Happy Valentines, Sim and Sarah.

V B. Treheame: I’ve seen you at the Shed twice now...limmm. Happy V-Day! V Brenda, Chi, Jack, Quynh, Shea, Ted, Terry: Hope you guys have a great Valentine’s and Spring Break. F4ever, A.C. V Ali: you eager beaver, you nickel! Stay Dipso! Happy V-Day! Love, Sim and Sar. V Kashif and Dana, the real reason I force you to come to meetings is ‘cause you both so hot.

V To the boys of 3983 Clark. We may be gone, but San Pedro will bring us back!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! !

V Love, Mice.

V Leah, I know you didn’t expect one of these, tomboy. Guess who? Clue: It’s not who you think...

V Au Fromage Suisse: Like A Young Or Fluid Female. S.I. & A.M. V Sim and Sar, Happy V-Day cuties! How about another 80’s flick? Dirty Dancing!

Raj. V Stephan —tell me science-man, how much do YOU know about the chemistry of love?

V Mike Kimbo, if you love me won’t you please please call? Sarah.

V Rob, Bob and Coop. Hey? Have you guys seen Raj’s alien? Happy Valentines, Sim and Sar. VJon O’Brief, I think you’re swell.SB V To the Improv Crew: thanks for making Wednesday nights pure, exciting, over­ whelming ecstasy!! We know you are all Dipsomaniacs! Lotsa love, Sim, Sar, and Mickey.

4P Molting one - U can make me drool. I’ve allowed you into my room/planet, and now U must never leave. Bear.

4P Simon, thanks for takin’ such great care of us! Hey, you exist!! Welcome to our reality! Love ya, Sim. 4P Dahling, pass the Stoli, I’ve got the VDay Blues - Patsy.

4P Bobby No: We miss you! Love Sim and Sar. 4P Simone and Sarah, I find you both intoxicatingly beautiful. I want you both. Lustful thoughts and unbidden fantasies fill my mind when we are together. Guess who?

4P George the frat boy, I want to be your Cheniqua, will you be my Montel?

4P Rob, can we ask you questions about football over apple crisp? Don’t go in the kitchen! Love Sim and Sar. 4P Dear Meredith C: you are so multitalent­ ed we love you.

4P Chère Valérie, C’est toi que j ’aime, but tonight the date’s off, I got to study Biochem. Love always, Paul.

4P Dear Mom, I love you more than any­ thing else in this world. A part of you will be with me forever, love always, Andrea.

4P To Cheryl Oelsner, you are the only rea­ son Bio 201 and physio 210 are worth going to. Paul Harvey’s Friend.

U* +

9

9

9

n

V To Atiya —we adore you —from the men of Haiti.

V To my two favourite Karens —its been great working with you —Shatner shit dis­ turber.

next time we should try a “blowjob”! Just remember to tuck you shirt in...xoxo Coco­ nut Palm.

V SarBear, Roses are red, Violets are blue, Icees are cool, and so are you. Love, Elvis.

V Christine, Come pick up your dress.

Your hoses were a little too tight, but it made my legs look good. Love from your rookie, Vinh.

V Dave: You are the sunshine in our lives.

Without you, the world would seem so bleak and cheerless. Susan.

V To Peter: I'm over you, but Happy V— Day anyways —Nishi.

V To Ramzi: Whatever! Happy V—Day. V To Tigger, Piglet And Miss Piggs Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Pooh.

V KARL BAZZOCCHI. PLEASE BE MINE! PLEASE BE MINE! I’LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE....CARLA. V The Gluttons - Have a Happy V—Day— Filled with lots and, of course, lots of food.

V Per la donna senza cui non avrei mai scoprito il vero significato e Tintensité delle veri emozione umani: Ti amo...Anonymous.

V Robert: To the ruling polygamist of all time, I want you! OOHL.AAHL.OOH! Come bhangra your way into my heart!

Signed, “Big Mama”.

V To Gusta, Happy V Day —Mr. Polka Dot Boxers —Skip.

V To A. Mouse, Who loves the world’s cutest mouse? Apparently, A. Turtle. ** Ted F: Let’s debate together again some time. Susan.

Dearest Yana, Do hope you’ll have an enjoyable St. Valentine’s Day. I do so miss you. Moscow is such a bloody rat race you know. It’s such a terrible bother all this.

Hope you are keeping well. Warmest regards, Richard.

V Lizzie, I long to hold you. I have longed to hold you longingly for the longest time. I know our love is not to be. But I shall think of you always. L.G. V To The Valentineless, Can have just a good a time without ’em and there ain’t no coyote arm the next morning, or the painful courtesy calls the next day. and no spendin’ a freakin’ forunte on flora and cocoa prod­ ucts. Owen Anist.

V To Vasco of phi kappa pi, you caught my eye and now you have my heart — Happy V—Day —NA. V Princess: SOS, CAS, FOS, GH, “Can I borrow”, “Deal with it”, Montreal’s Food Court, Sound of Music, Friendly’s. Here’s to next year...Love U Nishi.

V To my Precious Babe, Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you, Love your Jenny XOXO. V Duma Treat —To the cutest, most charming, sexiest-smelling boy around. My mind is in the dirt making mud pies. Happy Valentine’s, sweetness.

V K, It’s of you I always dream. I love you my little dyke. A. V Kowska, you really do know me.

Perhaps you know me too well. But, I know you, too. You dirty girl! —Bubsa. ^ Kareem, Love and licks. Snoopy.

V Hey Pascal, nice sweatpants.

V JK, Out of Province, but hopefully still in your heart, mind and soul. Looking for­ ward to seeing you during Spring Break.

AL. V Sherbene, Happy Valentine’s Day. the stars...etc...Brandon. ^ To Sheila, Thank you for being my friend. Janet. ^ I’m thinking of the waves gently cup­ ping the breasts of the lovely nymph just risen from the sea. To my scuba diver.

Love A. V Liza, Mungeezi âj® Carrie W. say “Come to Africa!”, Brandon.

V Dear Luciano, Happy New Year! And yes, all women do want to SLEEP with you —Perhaps. Happy V-D! Love J-M-N. V Glaurik, My beautiful one. Hearts and loves are for you. Germ.

Dear Reptile, That’s not Kamikazi.

Warthog. ^ Dear Nicole, You’re crazy - But Happy Valentine’s anyways. J! V Romi, You’re missed and loved. J-M-N. V Hey Jen, I miss you, I. V Dear Library Guards, OK, We heard the bell!

Sylvie: Congratulations on the great job you’ve been doing this year. Susan.

V I agree with Susan.

V You’ve been my mental masseuse since you embarassed me at Zen. Get thee to France. Je t’aime bien, M. O’Brief.

V C., Just because you’re the one./ A valentine that’s kind of fun.? Hope you're tough until you die,/ Keep dreaming that you beat that guy. M. ee To the Cute boy who works at Sadies — Thank you for making my trip to the Union so much more enjoyable.

V Jaime Cheah; I see you each day in Physics class, and I ask, alas, can I ever be worthy of your beauty? —Your Secret Admirer.

V SJ, Would you believe me when I tell you, You’re the queen of my heart... Geril, you feel my love buzz. MT. V To my Lt. Rachel. Um, I forgot the candy, forgot the flowers. There’s still my love and a big bottle of brandy! Vinh.

Jehree: Due to our numerous, non-erect “deflating” experiences together, maybe

* Prosim Zack! For me to see you again, my tall blond Canadian. Although it can never be, we will always have Praha, xo Marianna, ahhhh B./M. ** Samaieh, I want that you should enjoy this day of your St. Valentine. G—d willing you will have yourself a nice time. With much affection, David B. » Karen, you showed me how deep love’s well can be; how much more there is to life when two hearts act as one. Love Jon. V Sherbene, are those chestnuts! Snoopy.

V Jen, Can 1have some Brownies for Valentine's Day ? Brandon. ** Kateri and Raymonde, Happy Valentine's Day. Big hugs and smiles — Mr Rembrandt. » Ted M: I have no idea you're always so energetic. Please stop, it’s fatiguing to watch. Susan.

Louie, Debtra, The Bouncer. The Butcher, The Picker, The Orphan, Bill, Trudy, Gary, Jimmy, Professor, Eric, Raymond, Andy, Olive and GoldenBrisket.

Happy Valentine’s Day. V Sarbear, Brimmle sends you his love and a really bad poem. He insists on my meet­ ing you some day. Happy Valentine’s. MT. V Fyl: To the Elephant Man, you’re almost “strong” enough to be my Valentine. How about we get together for a little fondue...or is that a transitive verb? From: a little undergrad.

V Pascal and Nicole, Keep making each other smile. We love you. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, us!

V S.J. Don’t forget Drumstix. All power and tenderness to you. J. To; A friend of Elwood. After Norway, I can’t wait to find a real destination. You calling me wierd was the start of a great relationship! Love from your Bombshell.

V Leeor, Miles apart, yet always in my heart. Forever, Casper.

V Anh, Today I got to thinking about what a difference you’ve made in my life. And so today, I celebrate you and the beauty that your life has brought into my world. Son Nam. V Miko, It wasn’t all that obvious. Happy Valentine’s —J. V Mr. Singh, Although you wish this was not here, You’re name’s disguised so have no fear! This has to be short you see, So Happy Vaolentine’s Day —From Me.

W.W. Kwe, I hope one day we can regain the special bond we once knew. “Please don’t forget about me”. Love J. V Dear Star, Always by your side.

Remember, all in good time. Guardian Angel.

V Mick, After eye conctact in every club, who would have thought? Happy Valentine’s Day. Space—Cadet.

Moisha —Although you are far away, your loveable freak never spends a day without thinking of his beautiful elephant.

V ZIV, Our sweetest, hottest, most intelli­ gent friend at McGill. We’ll miss you! M— J—N V Josephine, I did a dissection! Brandon.

V I’m searching for a courageous girl who was VERY DIRECT outside of Powell. I couldn’t find you at Gerts —I’ll be there at 3. Brad.

V To Donald and Cynthia, Thank you for the knowledge, and Scottish hospitality.

From the Mystical Gaels!

V Trib Editors arc great, they don’t eat chicken. I love them all.—MacPoulet V Hey Sarah Kelly, Hope you have an even better Valentine's than the last.

Looking forward to rocking with you in Guelph. Love, Me. V To Helle (My Queen of SPoncrete).

You’ve come a long way and I’m thankful every day. Happy Valentine, Helle MUS. Love, Mickey. ** Dear Andrew - -Have a happy day — Your Mother. P.S. —Don't forget to wash your sweatpants.

V Cajun Cooler -—Montreal misses you.

Hope you’re enjoying the Big Easy. Save me some Popeye’s.

V Reuben’s. Peel, Van Houtte, Tulipe Noire, Club Sandwich, Dumpling Buffet — We love you all —The Gluttons.

To the Despot —thanks for the kick in the arse to run for ed—board. — Gluckenstein’s Birkenstock, V Sylvie is somewhat nifty. Sal. V To the Trib Geeks: Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! Love Vivian, the typeset­ ter who hates it when you work off MacPoulet while she is.

V To David Bushncll: Have a good Valentine’s Day asshole, xxoo 1GLC. ** Rachel. I am a bad friend. I’m sorry 1 told you I hate you. You are a true show­ girl. xoxoxT. David B. Fuck You and your stupid Ziggurat story. Love, Architecture. * To mr. man in silent film, you make me swoon O To Mark & John: Happy Valentine’s Day to my computer whiz buddies. I arts of Kisses to you both. Love Viv. V To Nadine: Happy Valentine’s Day signed (insert name here).

V To Pierre: Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you find time to “execute some” work. From Val. 9 To my Paul, Happy Valentine’s Day my sweet, luv Val. V To Paul, come fly my friendly skies...

M-A. V To Med Boy, I love you too...

V To Joel “est-ce que je peux avoir ta sig­ nature?” with love ...

V To microbe, you can use the force any­ time with me... V. V Dear Val, It took me over six months to see, You were the one meant for me!

Happy Valentine’s Day. Love always, Paul.

V To all the boys I’ve loved before and Marsy T.: I never knoew it could be this way. VLes JO'B: which other editor can say they’ve bought you underwear? Thanks for every­ thing. Love, Riz. ** Dear Eric, your hair is so extremely Electric. So effervescently energized.

So...beautiful. We love you.

V Dear Val, You may think MED is my only quest. But it’s really you I love the BEST. Dr.Love (Paul).

V Duchess: “Far be for me to say”; may the force be with you always to boldly go where no woman has gone before, love Nishi.

V My sweet, slithering, slippery, succulent, insatiable Boa Constrictor. You have words like the butcher, they dictate my flesh.

Lov4 your saucy Gardent Snake...SSS. Dear Sean, you are sooo seductive. We love you. jp Thanks for the cheese, sunshine. Happy V-day VLes V To the sweet Sylvie-fish sliding around the office, garlic is the language of love (if you can get over the breath). Love, Rachel, V Sweetheart Ray-ray, think up your own lovey-dovey names. Rau V Dear Wendy, Happy twenty- first birth­ day, Finally legal, Love Steven.

V Lisa, you are a ray of sunshine! Your parents are from Switzerland and Trinidad and you last name is Phipps! That’s it, that’s all. Bub-bye.

V Rachel, Mel and Sandy, thanks for rolling those cigarettes. Love you all—-T Rachel —let’s see, you make me think of Séduction, aphrodisiacs and messages.

Sweetie, this is becoming more serious than I expected. Love, Riz. ♦ Dear James, You will always have a spe­ cial place in my heart. You are my first true love for many different reasons. Love, Andrea.

O there is ubiquitous liz lau in my life V the showgirl just never stops O "Fare thee wee), thou first and fairest!

Fare thee weel, thou best and dearest!...Deep in heart—wrung tears I’ll pledge thee.” D. V To Tim “Smoothie” Kennedy, I love your colourful ski jacket and your sexy Speedo, but 1just adore you! Love, your biggest fan.

VTo my bug. I love you. Peach.

VLausy: I’mcut (thank you Booty Design], scrubbed, and ready for my Valentine. But please, let’s leave Moses out of it this time. VLL Cool Jane V Some losers have to type in their own valentines.

V Dear Paolo—Bini —If you will be my Valentine the sweater is yours —signed, a victim of you bullying. » Kurt, Don’t flic you bics at me. 1 might edit text, but I respect your mind. Love, Riz. V Genesee is kinda nice.

Peggy Sue —No more hickies. Your pal.

Benson. * 1 like you like a gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy drop, and a pig on your burning Macintosh. ** Mango, I’m too shy to ask you, but would you like to go out for coffess?

Jaws—eh?

V Riz Rau, I’m checking for viruses... none found, you’re a hot babe and a half, your showgirl.

VNic: I’m sorry about the potatoes. You’re a cool room-mate. HVD. Nick VMarc: You’re not as cuddly as Ram, but you’re cool, too. HVD. Nick «PSusan: You’re definitely cuddlier than Ram, and cooler than Marc. HVD. Nick VMaeve: You got one last year, you get one this year. Smile. Nick V Dearest Sara Elisabeth —I’ve loved all of our walks together —what memories. I hope my hikes together await us. To my beauty —you beast.

V i a! Nawy: A Valentine’s Plea: No, No, No, stop it ! Oh yeah, supersquish. —LJ V Hey mister! You are a very special friend and I love being with you. Thanks for everything! Happy Valentine’s Day! Luv ya! From, cow lover.

V To Joyce, let the take—over begin, love Chris.

V To Liz, we worship thee so, love a secret obnoxious loud mouth.

V To Jon Chomski, scariest fraternity

brother of them all, come on, come out of the closet.

V C. Dill —Come and have a look at mv pork. —I.H. V To the other 3 at 4665: Roommate from heaven, Out of ten you are eleven! Happy Valentines Day. V Three. Seven. Zero. One. Three women One bathroom. JoJo says: Three is the magic number! Have a good One Four from your little absent number.

V Dear Vince, You are so vivicious. We love you.

V Errol: I think you’re kickin’. Love from ALXXX. V Paulie C. Don’t tell Eric or Karen, but you’re secretly my favourite roommate.

Love, Al XX. V Micol :Happy Valentine’s Day and don’t stress out about midterms, Love Steven.

V Gut Girls: yer all babes, luv, Dave.

V TO KARL BAZZOOCHI, COME HEREAND GIVE ME SOME LOVIN’, CAUSE YOU MAKE ME HOT! —Wilma.

V To Sam, our little ray of sunshine—still waiting for the list. P.S. We want to be strippers.

O Psyche though I ain’t, and Cupid though thou aren’t, you still give me a thrill when you blow your little darts ... except in STANDBY! O J.P., you sexy boy: you are beautifulvery beautiful. Yum, yum, yum!

V Jordana —you are 100% the best 1— 2—3 “We want Star Wars”, “Jabba on the Bus”, “Do you have notes for...” Love Nishi.

V Pascal and Nicole: Keep making each other smile.

V Marissa —you’re my bestest bud. I love you! Jason.

V M?L- Seems we’ve seen this stage before. Damn that Lug. All my love on our very own milestone, my dear. - S?S V To the tall brunette in the jazz dance class: “Maybe I’ll impress her bby being in a band...but in my town you can’t drive naked” — Blink — 182 VTo Katy M. (Molson Hall) — “I guess I’ll never hear from you. I know you’ll never call me anyway because you never met me.” — The offspring, M. Something. ♦To Cate the great - my quirky roommate.

Much love and many smiles. ♦To Robin Vann - Hey sweetheart thanks for all the words of encouragement and support..You’re the best. May Dallas be good to you. Love KZ ♦Sarah R - Soriority babe...miss ya. Hey maybe one day you and I can ... ¥H.C. You’re evil. You broke my heart.

Oxen, eh? I think not. Winnie the Pooh has a lot more than a honey jar stuck to his nose. ♦Rachel, green smarties are waaaay cooler than red ones. ♦Sharon D - So short.so cute..so huggable.Always lookin’ for atmosphere, hey what can I say, I love ya. ♦To Reuben the production babe and the only guy who can mount my syquest. Love muffin. ♦To Nancy, the roomate from God. Happy Valentine’s day. Love C. ♦ 7a 7fCi. SwdÂ&yUpt. wc Uvc tf&c. ♦ To the MUSA babes: Talka, Tamara, Leeanne, Lisa, Lindsey, Lesya. You guys are awesome. ♦ Chubby bunny - Try to date men under the age of 30. Love Cujo 9* Gwen- Matt and I are bitter. There is one less perfect single woman in the world.

Best of luck to Aaron and you. ♦My one and only, we’ve come a long, sweet, and playful way. You are my com fort and challenge, my friend and goddess, my valentine...ALWAYS. With love, Dani ♦ Happy Valentine’s day Paul, my favourite brother. Love Zane.

February 13th, 1996

F e a tu re s

page 15

Students let creative juices flow for Tribune sonnet contest W e a s k e d f o r s o n n e t s , a n d w e g o t e v e r y t h in g b u t. S o , c o n g r a t u la t io n s t o a l l t h e w in n e r s o f t h e T r ib u n e p o e m / s o n n e t / fr e e v e r s e c o n t e s t .

Untitled

as a flock from the rooftops)

by Chris Bell

Fore!

by J.S. Trzcienski

Into those eyes go I To tear a breath from the dawn to diffuse into light

I love golf, it’s good to me, Even when I hit a tree.

On the green, with my love, My hand feels good inside its glove.

to be embraced and cocooned consolidated by force woven through and between in a graso rushing me into those eyes, your eyes, where what is, is to be

to be in all your eyes

I kiss my dear and then I stroke, There goes my ball! I nearly choke.

I collapse on the ground, gasping for breath, My club falls limp, I feel near death.

“Get up you boy!” My lover shrieks.

‘Tis not my charms that make her peak.

I gaze up wearily, yet lo, I am stunned !

Miracles of miracles! A hole in one.

to be known to be seen

Rainbows and Candied danes by the Cadbury Girl

by you (this poem should be made into paper airplanes and thrown

Golf! is good, golf! is fun, Golf! is loved by everyone ! you can watch... fishies while you

Time to build the T r i b u n e Editorial Board fo r 1996-97 ★ ★ ★ ★ A * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * -* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * W e are lo o k in g fo r e d ito rs fo r th e fo llo w in g s e c tio n s :

News (2) Sports (2) 1 Science (1) Production (2)

Features (2) Entertainment(2) Photo (2) Network (1)

play oh beware, o f he! who does not know how golf is. a lovely fillet... i often wonder; what i would do? if i gave up golf i think i would? have to ride rudolph !into! a starless sky where rainbows blind my eyes and i see? the eternal slipping away and i realise, i love golf forever and a day

‘Twas the night before Valentine’s...

by Tim Rozon ‘Twas the night before Valentine’s, and all through my head, was the vision of my girlfiend, in my next— door neighbour’ s bed.

Her stockings were flung on the floor without care, as my best friend’s hands ran through her hair, when all of a sudden, I fell off my ladder, they sprang from the bed to see what was the matter, away from the window, I ran like a flash, dove behind some bushes, my face in the grass, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a little naked boy, smiling from ear to ear, with his bow and arrow, he looked kinda stupid, then I thought, “Wait a minute, could this really be Cupid?”

He laughed and he danced, as I wallowed in shame, and he whistled and shouted and called out their names, there was Eddy and Michael and

Joey and Biff, just to name a few guys my girl had been with.

I grabbed at his neck and I twisted his head, I knew, at that point, that Cupid was dead.

I spoke not a word, as I went straight to work, I dug a big hole, and buried the jerk, as I got to my feet, I heard a loud shout, “Put your hands in the air! Police!

Come on out!’

I could hear the cop saying, as he put me away, “Valentine’s obviously not your lucky day...”

Untitled

by Hubert Hsu see, spark. speak, spark. heart attack.

To the Love I Have Not

by Knight Hearted To My love, This is a day to attest one’s affec­ tions.

Express them in words without exceptions.

So, Hear with your heart, What I ’m about to say.

As testimony to how I feel day to day.

You bring me happiness, and such great joy.

Give days meaning, fill a past empty void.

My love for you, compares to no

great mountain, A top, which will never be found.

Each moment leaves me looking fotward to the next, You’re like a drug, you intoxicate.

Though there will be times we’ll battle it out, Our love for each other, will clear the clouds, Revealing a common ground.

I am no perfect man, For, of these there are none.

I shall stand beside my woman, Protect, what we have found.

I’ll lasso the moon, Give you the rope to make it your Balloon.

Then arrange the craters, To say, “I LOVE YOU”.

Have made mistakes, not proud.

Lost a Love, found what a Jerk I had been.

Oh, how true the old cliché, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”.

So my Love, the One in my life.

I'll do what I must to keep you by my side.

Shall neither give up who I am, nor for which I stand.

For it is he you wanted, How this all began.

But. Alas, this is all, to the love that I have not.

Know that you’re out there some­ where, Finding you is harder than I thought.

Maybe this will help out?

P le a s e su b m it y o u r le t t e r o f in t e n t , w ritin g o r p h o to sa m p les b y M a r c h 5 t h 1 9 9 6 . D ir e c t a ll q u e s tio n s to S y lv ie @ 3 9 8 - 3 6 6 6 o r c o m e to th e S h a t n e r b a s e m e n t ro o m B O I A .

SUBJECT T O CLASSIFICATION

O p e n s F r id a y F e b r u a r y a t a th e a tre n e a r y o u

16

Oh dad, you’re driving me mad

By J.S. Trzcienski Dazedly exiting the Players’ Theatre’s production o f Oh Dad,

P oor Dad, M omma’s Hung You in the Closet and I ’m Feelin ’ So Sad, I found it necessary to im pose a moratorium on any thoughts which reflected on the events of the previous two hours.

Otherwise, I feared I would drive myself batty.

Arthur L. K opit’s story plays like a twisted (and that says a lot) riff on an episode of The Addams Fam ily. Indeed, the Nina Steiger-directed pro­ duction features characters who invariably recall Gomez, a short-haired Morticia, and a thin, stuttering Pugsley.

The plot (considering the title) is expectedly offbeat: in an attempt to turn the page on a particularly black chapter of their liv es, Madame Rosepettle (Megan Keenberg) and her repressed son Jonathan (M atthew House) travel to Havana with the stuffed corpse of the obviously late Mr. Rosepettle.

T h ere, M adame R. Oh searches for a wealthy bene­ factor while kicking sand in the faces of frolicking couples on the beach. Johnathan, meanwhile, is forced to remain in his hotel room along with a growling piranha, a hissing pair of Venus flytraps, and an impressive collection of stamps, books, and coins. Oh yes, and his father’s body.

Salvation for the troubled lad em erges in the form o f R osalie (Mireille Alvo), a peculiar baby-sit­ ter who visits Johnathan after he observes her through his telescope.

Enter mom, who lam bastes the girl’s promiscuity and orders her out the door. Johnathan subsequent­ ly retreats to a corner wearing a pained look, and watches as his

ly, yet House’s inspirations seem imbued with equal parts Rain Man and A F ish C a lled W anda. As Jonathan, he is often intentionally silly, yet he never loses the dignity that makes his character so particu­ larly endearing.

There is little doubt that Oh Dad. . puts the ‘fun’back in dys­ fu n ction al. Though some o f the audience le ft the theatre with som bre fa ces at the play’s improbably trag­ ic conclusion, I found the whole ending pretty damn funny. As men­ tioned, I avoided ques­ tioning my sensibilities too much in an effort to preserve my mental health.

Clearly, the play has O edipal and necrophilic overtones which some might fail to find amusing, but why let those matters get you down? At its core, the play holds up all forms of love to a fun-house mirror and allows the depraved D ad p ics too g rap h ic; h a d to settle fo r 7 stories results to be reflected back in the audi­ plays two leads, is magnificient. It ence’s face. Though certainly a tad would have been easy for the for­ sick, the relationships between the mer to fall into a stereotypical, las­ ch aracters can be appreciated civious vamp-bitch persona a la nonetheless.

The play entertains, as long as Cruella de V il, yet she does not. one allows it to do so. It is, as the Rather, underneath her airy accent, late Raul Ju lia ’ s Gomez used to one can gleam a nutty understand­ ing of the reasons behind her daft bellow, “SMASHING!!!” * behaviour. Her ten-minute mono­ logue, though it drags at times, is highlighted by the em otion by \c t t £ owhich it’s fuelled.

7 Stories and Oh Dad... are As for House, he wrestles with p la y in g a d o u b le b ill at the task of being both manic and \ P layers’ T h eatre until the subtle simultaneously, and succeeds 17th. Tickets are $5 students admirably. We’ve all seen mentally and $10 g en eral adm ission. challenged characters com e Call P layers’fo r reservations Gumping out of Hollywood recent­ mother seduces and bears her soul to Commodore Rosabove (Daniel Mate), a wealthy gent who rapidly becomes flustered as the maniacal side of his intended conquest comes to light.

The performances in Oh Dad... are, across the board, splendid.

Keenberg and House’s work, as the

Le Dortoir: Carbone 14

By Stephan Ko h out

emphasis on history and under­ standing permeates the company’s work and it sets the tone for Le

As I was on my way to check out Carbone 14’ s dance theatre D ortoir.

The piece explores the con­ masterpiece, Le D ortoir, I bumped fused emotions surrounding grow­ into a friend of mine on the street. ing up in a C a th o lic boarding I asked her if she had ever seen it. school in the 1960’s. Le D ortoir's She said, “Yeah. It’s really good. expressionistic montage o f real But it’s dance.”

Okay, a lot of people have the and surreal images expose the vio­ impression that modern dance is lence, sensuality, and beauty of being young in a tumultuous time. bizarre, pretentious, inaccessible, The work takes it cue from Gilles or boring. And, at times, it can be.

But sometimes there are shows so M ah eu ’ s m em ories o f a d o le s­ cence. good that they manage to break As the a rtist out from the stage e x p la in s, “I am and touch the m ainly looking to audience in pro­ Scenes of violence exp ress re b ellio n found w ays. In and despair are and w onder. T h is M o n treal, there atmosphere is that balanced by are w orld cla ss of my youth.” modern dance episodes of tender­ Th e p iece w orks that fa ll ness and hope in opens with the into this category; sound o f rain pelt­ Le D ortoir is one the contorted love ing down on the o f them . It is play between the rem ains o f an old accessible, beauti­ boys and girls of Catholic dormitory ful, and unforget­ which has the feel the dormitory. table. o f an abandoned Le D ortoir is fa cto ry . A w eary the crea tio n o f man staggers around inside with a Gilles Maheu and his experimental gun, contem plating sorrow and dance theatre ensemble, Carbone suicide. As his mind drifts and he 14. The ensemble was put together in 1980 and has produced about a begins to sleep, the stage comes alive with his m em ories o f his dozen controversial multimedia time at the dormitory. pieces that examine contemporary These memories are brought society.

Each of these shows has gar­ to life by tw elv e dancers who employ simple and elegant move­ nered critical acclaim the world ments and forms that connect easi­ over. Their most famous piece, Le D ortoir, premiered in 1980 and ly with the audience. Their move­ ments are structured by the versa­ has sin ce trav elled to over 18 countries on 4 continents, receiv­ tile dormitory beds that are trans­ ing rave reviews. It has been seen formed into shooting galleries, tor­ by over 100,000 people and is now ture tables, and daredevil amuse­ back in Montreal for a limited run ment rides. The choreography is at Usine C, Carbone 14’s renovat­ com plem ented by the powerful m usical score that ranges from ed factory theatre.

Carbone 14’ s name is taken jo ltin g guitar rock to sorrowful from the radioactive element that strin g s and sy n th esiz ers. The is used in dating the remains of Continued on Page 19 M ancient organisms. This thematic

Wooden Stars come out at the Cabaret

By M arc G illiam Come wind, come rain turning to snow, com e buzz indie band Wooden Stars from Ottawa after suffering a flat tire. The quartet per­ severed and finally appeared at Montreal’s newest night club, the Cabaret, Friday evening.

Their tardiness was not with­ out con sequ en ce, though.

Scheduled to play second in a bill featuring local bands Starbean and Sofa, Wooden Stars ended up as the last act to grace the stage. The situ­ ation may have added to the band’s admitted nervousness, but the set remained tight.

Guitarist Michael later discov­ ered that, in fact, the anxiety was simply from a guitar that was then destined to the rack for the remain­ der o f their songs. Any musician will tell you that there is nothing worse than a nervous guitar.

Afterw ards, Julien B eillard (guitar) and his brother Mathieu

(bass) spoke to the Tribune about the Wooden S ta rs’ background.

Originally formed about four years ago, Wooden Stars have climbed the rungs of indie success to reach various plateaus. Wooden Stars first released a seven inch in 1994, fol­ lowed by a self-titled full-length album in 1995, and now face infamy as the buzz band o f the week according to Hour.

Julien would have you believe that the Hour is implying that very little is currently happening musi­ cally, though modesty seems to per­ vade his thoughts. He even prefaced his adjustment of a borrowed amp by saying, “I realise I ’m playing with distortion, and I was taught that that’s impolite.”

In response to the accusation that Wooden Star’s new material, in the can for an April release, is in creasin gly a cc e ssib le , Ju lien posits that the band, regardless of lessening their intricate and layered interaction, will never find any sort

of commercial success.

Julien proceeds to clarify that the band has not changed much

instruments such as cello and clar­ inet heard on th eir last album.

Besides that minor change in sound,

from the last recording — their per­ formances lose the experimental edge wrought by the addition of unconventional (for rock at least)

the band generally has abandoned their original belief that each instru­ ment should be making interesting music in itself. The result on stage

is a sound o f greater cohesion, although the presence of four vocal­ ists within the band remains to cre­ ate a nice splicing of the songs.

B assist Mathieu ducks in to steal a bit of his brother’s limelight, responding to questions of how the band is affected by blood relation.

Says Mathieu, “Squabbling.”

“Is not,” says Julien.

For the final question, only Ju lie n has the opportunity to respond.

When asked what band of all time they would most like to open for, he replies instantly: the Clash.

Despite the rumour that those Brits will never reform for Lollapalooza or otherwise, it could happen in a world o f flattened tires, nervous guitars and wooden stars. ^

C tC ^ 9W ooden Stars w ill return to the C abaret on April 16.

E n te r ta in m e n t

February 13th, 1996

page i7

V a le n tin e 's D a y S p e c ia l

Top 1 0 M o s t * R o m a n tic * M o v ie s

Bells on the goal post, love in a box

F or those who use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to mind-melt with the TV and fe e l angst about how not in love they are, the Tribune ed board offers its solace and this list to help you choose a film that will be, not only depressing, but kind o f rewarding to watch. (When Harry Met Sally and Casablanca are missing because, well, we have standards).

B y Ra ch el Sto k o e

Chris Bell is a romantic.

Who else would launch a guerilla poetry campaign against McGill cynicism, decorating the soc­ cer goal posts with banners embellished with Byronic senti­ ments and scattering five hundred envelopes contain­ ing poetry around the McLennon Library? For this reason, he seemed the most apropos apotheosis of sea­ sonal fervour next to St. Valentine him­ self (no, he’ s not getting preferential treatment because he called the enter­ tainment section the “heart and soul of a newspaper”).

In his talk of ardour with the T ribu n e, Bell described his latest venture (following his much acclaimed book, T ales o f the L ost C h eeb a h -h a ), O b jects o f L o v e; Poetry and Sundries in a Box.

According to Bell, the recipe for ever-lasting love is pretty sim­ ple. “You don’t have to get theatri­ cal in love. It’s the little things that are just about living and being with someone. Love shouldn’t be thought about to death — it should be enjoyed.”

Bell doesn’t fret that, as one grows older and more wary of the nature of anthropoids, finding love becomes difficult.

“When you’re younger, you get into relationships faster because you’re not as cautious. At the same time, when you get older, a relationship that you like becomes stronger faster, because you know what you’re looking for,” he said.

Bell continued, “Good, working relation­ ships boil down to one or two in a lifetime. If you meet that person, and you’re wise, you make it work...There’s a lot of heartache involved. You can’t be too cautious, but you can’t be too flippant.

Not every relationship should be a whirl-wind, but you need to be swept away once or twice.” *

around McGill.”

When asked if he was afraid of being pigeon-holed a flaky, bleeding-heart (not in those words) within his McGill department of

The object o f love.

“I had done things around campus [the McGill guerrilla poet­ ry campaign], and I shrunk them down and put them in a box,” he explained.

The aforementioned parcel contains such aesthetic devices as make-it-yourself dice with his poem, “Timing and Circumstance” printed on its sides. As well, it has miniature flags carrying his poem, “Ontology” posted on oversized toothpicks, and paper bracelets with his poem, “Forever Hello”.

The origami project kit with direc­ tions rolled up like a king’s procla­ mation, however, best communi­ cates his playful attention to detail.

It is these little things, Bell maintained, that makes love so worthwhile. “It’s fun being fresh.

It’s too easy to get into routines... at the same time, there’s nothing better than being comfortable.

Spontaneity is an awful lot of work, but it means so much to who it is for.”

Bell is no stranger to labour­ ing in the name of love. His first Valentine’s gift was a valiant bid for affection. “I made her a cake. It was two circles...it was supposed to look like a heart, but it ended up looking like Mickey Mouse. The icing was supposed to be red, but the cake was too hot, so it became this pink waxy thing...I’m a better cook now.”

Surprisingly, Bell has not tired of amorous endeavours. More sur­ prisingly, the inspiration for his most recent was found hidden in the crevaces of our fair campus.

“All of [the poems] were inspired by someone. I don’t know, there are a lot of inspiring women

1

Medical Anthropology, Bell res­ ponded, “I don’t think there is any­ thing wrong with open displays of affection.”

As an afterthought he added, “of course, there’s a time and a place for everything.”

Ç?

SS SP

v

*

1. Magnificent Obsession — Rock Hudson, Technicolor, wonky New Age philosophising, and a testament to the resilient power of Freudian overdetermined images. It’s just another boy kills woman’s husband accidentally, them accidentally blinds her, then seduces her pretending he's somebody else, then flies her to Switzerland, then loses her, then gets grey around the temples and starts looking like the guy in the Fantastic Four, then finally wins her after curing her blindness story.

And of course the famous line, heard thirty or forty times throughout the film: “It will obsess you, but believe me IT WILL BE A MAGNIFI­ CENT OBSESSION !” Warning: may result in girl/boyfriend running screaming from your home.

2. H arold and M aude — A film about love that transcends age and convention, elevating the recipients to a state of unmediated and pure bliss. The film frolics as much as Harold and Maude do, carried along on the sweet vocals of Cat Stevens.

3. Say Anything — Dangerously close to the brat pack, this ‘80s movie actually has a heart. It linked forever “In Your Eyes” with the language of love and kick-boxing with its actions.

4. Purple Rose o f Cairo — Woody Allen’s tale of a woman who must choose between an ideal and reality, sadly learning the consequences of practicality over unfaltering celluloid. Lesson learned? Human nature will inevitably let you down, and the only true love is in your imagina­ tion.

5. TrustIVnbelievable Truth/Simple Men — There has been debate over which Hal Hartley fairy tale (all about deadpan iiberloser creatures and their sweethearts) takes the prize. A marathon is highly recommended for those taken by stoic social-cretin Romeos, liny angelic Juliettes, and bizarrely tangled comedic circumstances.

Continued on P age 18 H

Chris B ell’s Objects of Love is av ailable at D anger, The W ord, D ou ble H ook, the B ook Nook, and Coles.

m ups

p h o t o c o n t e s t '9 6 d e a d lin e : m a rc h 5th

L S A T

action nature

experimental

/

If you to o k t h e t e s t to d a y , how w ould you sco re ?

C o |n e find o u t.

open

people

cityscape

Take a 2 t/t- or 3-hour test, proctored like the real thing. puter analysis of your rengths and weaknesses.

for d e ta ile d in fo rm a tio n a n d c o n te s t rules p le a s e c o n ta c t us in S h a tn er B06 or e m a il us a t p a w s o @ p o -b o x .m c g ill.c a

that will

es from Kaplan teachers p you ace the real exam.

out on th is cost-free, fe e opportunity.

1-800-KA P-TEST to reserve your s e a t today!

Don’t m cgill university p h o to g ra p h ic .s o c ie ty

3

9

D w

E

i t h

8

-

6

7

N

T

A

L

Q

E

N

T L E

20%

C

8

A N

6

R E

E S

S

o f f to M c G ill S tu d e n ts

D r . S t u a r t M . S e ltz e r a n d

D r . S te p h e n J. S e ltz e r Dental Surgeons - Chirurgiens Dentistes T e le p h o n e : 7 3 8 - 9 2 4 0 • 5 7 5 7 a v e ., D e c e ll e s , s u ite 4 0 0 M o n tr é a l, Q u é b e c

ay, M arch 2, 1996 ill U n iv e r s it y

1 0 :0 0 a m

2 8 7 - 1 8 9 6

KAPLAN

Page 18 E n t e r t a i n m e n t

February 13 th, 1996

V a le n tin e 's b a y S p e c ia l

P r e s s in g q u e s tio n s : V a le n t in e s ’ D a y P la n s

Stand by your man, man

By C hris Carter I have a confession to make: when it com es to relationships, I ’m clueless.

Case in point — last week, an acquaintance of mine attempted to hook me up with this sensitive, attractive, and all round wildly sexy man. He introduced himself to me, got his friends to ask if I was available, and to tell me that he liked me because he was too shy — basically saying, “Here I am baby, I ’m yours.” What did silly old me do? Run away.

So when those dear people at the Tribune passed me a new self-help book titled

questions which attempt to ascer­ tain what is attractive in yourself to others, and what you find attrac-

The book pressured me to be bold and run around the bar like a flitting love machine.

tive. It became painfully obvious what I was looking for in a man was not what the book thought I

F in d in g T rue L o v e in a M an-eat-M an World, I saw the perfect opportunity to stop the m adness, and hook myself up with a real man.

The blurb on the back claims that this book is the “..first complete contempo­ rary guide to coming out, getting out, and getting into a relatio n sh ip that la s ts .” The b o o k ’ s aim (according to the author, Craig Nelson) is to provide queer men with the guide­ lines and tools necessary to find themselves long-last­ ing partner m errim ent.

These guidelines. Nelson argues, are everywhere for h etero sexu al men and women, but are lacking for G ood p ecs a n d high incom e queers.

The book is constantly con­ should be looking for. cerned with building self-esteem, The book is obsessed with countering homophobia, and guid­ superficial things — face, muscles, ing men down the path to positive gym, job, income, and real-estate. self-image.

It never asked me the questions Unfortunately, beyond these that would allow me to unlock sectio n s, N elson delves into a what other qualities one could look series o f u ltim ately alien atin g for in a man, such as distinctive­

ness, sp on tan eity, or p o litica l awareness.

Beyon d the qu estion and answer self-evaluation sections, the author provides tips of where to go to pick up men, and what to do.

I put all of my reservations aside and used chapter three, “how to go to a bar” to see if one of my nights on the town could turn into the start o f something special. I did what Nelson told me — I low­ ered my ex p ecta tio n s, thought about m yself positively, scouted the bar, established territo­ ry, perfected distinctiveness and even attempted to flirt.

The book pressured me to be bold and run around the bar lik e a flittin g love machine, attempting to pick up everything that made my heart skip, until I found my match. Well... I’m still sin­ gle.

The book excels with its helpful, clear, frank dis­ cu ssio n s regard ing sex, health and coping with loss or the failure o f relation­ ships. The author is fre ­ quently witty, and offers many am using plays on stereotypes with various names for different typical queer male personalities.

Ultimately though, this book isn’t much o f a rela­ tionship bible — maybe I’ll pick it o ff my boo ksh elf every now and again, but I have the feeling that I ’ll still be a clu eless twit when it comes to men. v Q

v

*

*

*

Leslie Malchy, U2, Psychology Dinners are nice, but they’re overrated. Maybe a picnic somewhere off­ beat, like up the mountain, especially in winter.

Charlotte Kanya-Forstne. U4, Philosophy I’m going to crank call all my ex-girlfirends, systematically harrassing them.

Phil Mitchell who isn ’t a student, but writes a lot o f term papers My boyfriend and I are choosing to ignore Valentine’s because we don’t have the money. But maybe we’ll steal a Cadillac, rob a bank, and drive to Mexico.

Chéri M aclsaac, U3, Sociology A sponge bath after being wheeled around the apartment in a chair, left to recline in a couch being fed grapes with my every whim attended to. Of course, I'd have to return the treatment, so maybe next Valentines’ Day. I’d do it for her.

Rob Cambell, U2, Philosophy I’ll go down to MacDonald campus, where there will be chics, and then we’ll all go out to the fields and peck things.

Mr. MacPoulet, U8, M cGill’s symbol o f Pomp and Circumstance Valentines’ Day is like Christmas. It is something to boost the economy, and mainly for the stores. People forget it is the birthday of love — all types of love, not just between a guy and a girl, but for your mother or whatever.

Parnell Pierre, U3, Management and PR Making dinner for some lovely, young lady, followed by a nice bottle of port and chocolate and fruit. Oh yaah, a bottle of Château Neuf du Pape with dinner. All this followed by six or seven hours of sex.

Robin Copp, U3, Philosophy Fetish night. Definitely. Oh yaah. Definitely wearing leather.

Jennifer Porter, U2, Environmental Studies I am taking my lovely roommate out to dinner. We're going to go go-cart racing, and maybe we’ll stare at the moon until we go blind.

ç?

Carolina Marian, U2, Cultural Studies

%lo v ie s ...*

ç? *

I think Valentine’s Day is a load of shit. It shouldn’t be a holiday, so I’m choosing to ignore it.

*

what it means to find someone else.

» Continued from Page 17

S u m m e r S tu d y

Tim Burton fantasia trapped in a crystal ball. Despite the strange Lacanian symbology of really long scissors for hands that inhibit Eddie from functioning, the film deals with the crushing force of society and convention.

8. The Crying Game — Some of us don’t think the most innovative thing about the movie is that big hush-hush surprise. Some of us actually think the storyline itself carries worth. An exploration of the fear and the desperation of not being able to help your nature that drives you into, and out of, love.

B

7. Rouge — Set in Geneva, this third movie in the trilogy Trois Couleurs: Bleu, Blanc, Rouge con­ centrates on how love is usually the outcome of chance meetings between strangers that somehow know each other. A quieter romance film. Rouge actually touches upon the sentiment of

9. L ike Water fo r C hocolate — This film is so beautiful that it will affect the hardest of hearts. It is so colourful — with its surrealistic edge — that it will make the most discriminating fdm critic rave. It is so full of crazy, passionate char­ acters that even determined psy­

Beijing, China

6. Edward Scissorhands — A

Buenos Aires, Argentina

E v e ry w h e re U n d e r th e

S u n

> «*•: a m & 5

Who knew that Alley patrons were too jad ed to buy into the symbol sys­ tem o f Valentines’ Day? Even if their opinions say differently, under their cynical affronts, the Tribune is sure they all get sappy and sentimental when Valentine‘s rolls around. At any rate, here are their plans fo r V.D. — who knows, maybe you ’ll get inspired.

O

S T O

N

U N IV E R S IT Y *------------------------------------1 In te rn a tio n a l ? rogram s

> c c V5 ?

‘W f i e r e p e o p l e t a k e t h e t i m e to e n j o y . . .

For more information, please contact: Boston University International Programs 232 Bay State Road, Box S, Boston, MA, 02215 617/353-9888 E-Mail: abroad@bu.edu World Wide Web: http://web.bu.cdu/abroad

Washington, D.C.

10. Last Tango in Paris — Con­ sidered the first film to examine the unconscious motivations for passion without ever flinching, making us realize how fucked up we all are and how any sort of self­ completion is doomed. Oh yaah, the butter scene, and Brando’s wasted aura pre-Don Juan De M arco make this movie terrifying­ ly stark and pretty down on love and ideals. ^

TH E LINGUISTIC EXCHANGE CLUB “T e a m a n e w la n g u a g e m a k e a n ew fr ie n d .”

^

L

a

T

o n

d

u

e

T r tn c e A r t h u r

An equal opportunity; affirmative action institution.

Empuries, S pain

chologists will quickly concede defeat and just sit back to enjoy the story. In short, it is a visual description of eternal love, accen­ tuated with ideas of food, lust, unjust family traditions, and the untameable nature of the human soul.

T i t : 845-0183

70 est, rue Trince Arthur, M ontréal, Québec Jf2 X 1113 —

English, français, espanol, etc.

February 13th, 1996

E n te r ta in m e n t

Carbone 14 » Continued from Page 16 music combines brilliantly with the stunning lighting scheme to create a number o f im ages that alternately elicit tears, laughter, and fear.

The combined effect o f the d an cin g, m u sic, lig h tin g , and o cc a sio n a l tex t transform L e D ortoir from a simple dance piece to something that is better called dance or image theatre.

Maheu exploits the possibili­ ties o f this im age theatre to its fullest, creating images that haunt the mind long after the perfor­ mance is over. One im age that lingers is the exquisite scene of bod ies thrusting th em selv es through windows, trying in vain to set themselves free, and collapsing like empty hand puppets, as their shadows engulf the stage.

A nother im age that sends chills is the one of enraged bodies bathed and distorted in a blood red light, inflicting blows on imagined victims. These scenes of violence and d esp air are balanced by episodes of tenderness and hope in the contorted love play between the boys and girls of the dormito­ ryThe awesome thing about Le D ortoir is that these images touch ev ery on e who see them . T h is effect, in fact, is Maheu’s ambi­ tion . “I dream o f a popular abstract theatre” says the artist, and he has succeeded spectacular-

pagei9

Gut girls... ly; I have rarely been touched by a performance as powerfully as Le D ortoir. So this Valentine’s day, tear yourself away from the tube, the Cinéma du Parc, or the Main and explore what else Montreal has to offer. Perhaps take in a play or even a dance performance. But go and see Le D ortoir . You won’t be disappointed.^

c ct*

» Continued from Page 1 women go through as they aban­ don their old life and attempt to better themselves in domestic ser­ vice. The play loses its power, however, when it examines the lives o f status-seeking Arthur (Gabriel Levine) and his insecure w ife P ris c illa (V anya R o se).

When P riscilla arrives at Lady Helena’s home with a bruise on her face and claims she fell, some­ thing in me scream ed A BC Afterschool Special and the play

0*

C a rb o n e 1 4 ’s L e D ortoir plays at Usine C until F eb.

24. 521-6002.

in stan tly lost its cred ib ility .

However, this device of the plot does not diminish the acting , with Rose seeming to be born to the role.

Nonetheless, the play is utter­ ly compelling, combining witty repartee, heart-rending m ono­ logues and a madcap blending of song and dance num bers that involves the audience at every turn. The costumes and sets also deserve credit for their ability to evoke the pain of the squalid town of Deptford.

Whether it is the creative use o f music, the intensity o f each perform ance or the honesty o f Daniels’ moving script and story­ lin e, L eck y and the cast have earned the right to say, “ Oh, yes, this is a student production.” V

C ft £ O Gut Girls runs from February

14th to the 17th a t M oyse Hall. Tickets are $12, and $6 fo r students. C all 398-6070 fo r reservations

E R . Scott’s Constitution 2 FOR $ 5 .0 0 $ 9 .0 0 2 FOR 2 FOR 2 FOR

DRAFT SMALL PITCHER LARGE PITCHER M IX E D DRINKS SH O OTER BOTTLED BEER

$3.75

A le c t u r e b y

Professor Roderick Macdonald F.R. Scott Professor of Constitutional and Public Law Faculty of Law, McGill University

$ 6 .0 0 $ 4 .0 0 $ 4 .5 0

T o In a u g u r a te t h e F .R . S c o t t C h a i r in C o n s t it u t io n a l a n d P u b lic L a w

POOL TABLE M ALAYSIAN FOOD

Friday, 16 February, 1996, 18h30 Moot Court Room, Faculty of Law Chancellor Day Hall, 3644 Peel Street

3910 ST-LAURENT 9 8 2 -0 8 8 0

T h e Red Herring l o v e s y o u .

T h a t ’s r i g h t , M c G i l l ’s o n l y i n t e n t i o n a l l y

h u m o u r o u s p u b l i c a t i o n is f u l l o f n u r t u r i n g c a r e - g iv e r s ’h o w a n t y o u t o f e e l a s e n s e o f b e l o n g i n g f o r p e r h a p s s C

^

o

O

x r

- -------------------> H o w

t

.

t h e f i r s t t i m e in y o u r life . C o m e , f e e l t h e l o v e

d o

1

■■ )

t

Y O U

„

J a

S

U

w e h a ve fo r yo u .

A n sw er: B

K N O W

M

, A

I

T

T H E N

D

W e ’v e g o t a c o n t e s t t o o :

S O M W E E K

M A K E

E T H I N G A F T E R

I T

B Y

M

A R C H

R E A D I N G

2 .

W E E K .

F U N N Y .

PROPHECIES FO# THF YEAH

2

0

0

0

-

( W o w , w a s n ’t t h a t s o o o s c a r y ? )

Join us Tuesdays a t 4 : 3 0 in S h a tn e r B -0 1 B .

Think y o u ’re pretty funny, eh? PROVE IT! T h e

R e d

H e r r in g .

We care, dammit.

Concordia Stingers slip by Redmen in basketball thriller B o u c h a r d s h o o t s d o w n M c G i l l p l a y o f f d r e a m s w it h 3 5 p o i n t s

By Franklin Rubinstein The McGill-Concordia men’ s basketball series has become known for intensity, rivalry and pride.

Friday night’s match-up was no dif­ ferent.

The Redmen entered the game riding a four-game skid and were in dire need of a victory to stay in con­ tention for a QUBL playoff berth.

With only two games remaining after this contest, the 4-5 McGill team could not afford a loss.

Conversely, Concordia entered the Currie Gym with the opportunity to maintain their first place lead in the QUBL. More importantly, the 53 Stingers could knock their cross­ town rivals out of serious playoff consideration.

In what turned out to be an epic battle, star forward M axime Bouchard sunk two crucial free throws with 2.2 seconds remaining to lead the Stingers past the Redmen 78-77. Bouchard turned in what may be the most impressive offensive performance in the QUBL this year, posting 35 points and adding 10 rebounds.

“I ’ ve seen pressure like this before...I guess I was prepared for it,” said an elated Bouchard after his two clutch free throws.

Concordia jumped out of the gate quickly, building an early 8-0 lead. With McGill in a very passive zone, the Stingers were able to find open three-pointers and converted many easy shots into points.

Unfortunately, coach Ken Schildroth was extremely slow in recognising the need for a change in the Redmen

defensive alignment, and the Stingers answered by taking the lead.

The Stingers actually built a seemingly insurmountable 28-12 first half lead with about eight min­ utes remaining in the first half, t “...We practice box in ones and zones to try to find the open shots.

We were setting good screens away from the ball. That really helped today,” said Bouchard about the onpen shots.

It was at this juncture that the Red­ men finally received an emotional boost, and began to compete in this game. R ick Varisco, frustrated by McGill’s lack of exe­ cution and intensity, was visibly angered and slammed the McGill ‘bench’ when he was pulled from the game.

Early game laps­ es are something that have plagued the Redmen all year. On Friday night V a risco ’ s actions must have woken the Redmen out of this

Redmen volleyball ends first season winless as U of M sweeps 3-0

By Kashif Zahoor

their next five points to tie the set at seven. Guelph, however, broke McGill’s momentum, capitalising on McGill’s unforced errors, and won the second set 15-10.

The Redmen cut the deficit to one, by winning the third set 15-12.

Guelph seemed primed to put away the Red ‘n’ White in three. The visit­

Quebec does not rank high on anyone’s list of all the places for a first-year volleyball team to play.

The Quebec volleyball league is home to perennial powerhouses and national contenders such as No. 1 Laval and No.5 Sherbrooke.

The McGill Redmen con­ cluded their inaugural season last Wednesday night without winning a match. The Red ‘n’ White were also blanked in the set category, dropping 33 straight sets.

“It’s tough not winning one set during the regular season, and playing the best teams in Canada in our first year, but we improved our game throughout,” said head coach Normand Bouchard.

In their season finale, the Redmen hosted Université de Montréal in a makeup contest (the game was postponed because the referees did not show up).

The U of M shutout McGill 3 sets to none, by scores of 15-5, 15-12, 15-4. Maziar Divangahi Andy Linley sends Guelph a prsent led the Redmen with 17 kills in ing Gryphons stormed to a 6-0 a losing effort.

The Redmen played host to the advantage. After a time-out, the Guelph Gryphons in two exhibition Redmen rallied around the brilliant hitting of Andy Linley. The 6 ’ 5” matches over the weekend.

The Gryphons took the first set native of Stratford, Ontario spiked 15-7, and were leading in the second ball after ball, and William Tam 7-2. Coach Bouchard called a time­ sealed the victory with a block on the fifteenth point. out to settle his troops down.

Coach Bouchard helped the McGill responded by winning

Redmen regain their composure with some words of wisdom during the first time-out, after McGill had fall­ en behind 6-0.

“I told them to focus on win­ ning every rally. In the first two games, their focus wasn’t on the game,” said Bouchard.

The Redmen squandered an opportunity to force a fifth and decisive game. Although the Redmen trailed during much of the set, they pulled within one in the fourth set, 12-13, in the late stages. Guelph held off the comeback attempt, and won the next two points and the match.

The Redmen entered Saturday afternoon’ s contest firmly believing that they could fare better against Guelph the second time around.

However, in an 84 minute match, the Gryphons defeated the Redmen 3 sets to 1. McGill g. dropped the first set 15-7, but rebounded by winning the second 15-10. After losing the g third set, the Redmen battled -5, furiously in the fourth in the hopes of a fifth game. They fell a bit short, losing 15-13.

Linley led the Redmen with 18 k ills. John Harrison had seven stuffed blocks and seven digs for McGill The Redmen will take part in the senior provincials held at l’Université de Sherbrooke at the end of March to finish off their first year.

particular lapse as M cG ill began playing intense man-to-man basket­ ball and closed the gap to eight points by half-time.

U nlike the first half, the Redmen showed both offensive and defensive intensity. Led by the spec­ tacular shooting of Varisco, who fin­ ished with 19 points and 3 threepointers, the Redmen finally closed even with the Stingers with seven minutes remaining in the basketball game.

Neither team was able to build a lead of more than two points in the remaining time. McGill was plagued by poor foul shooting throughout the entire game and especially down the stretch, finishing only 52.2 per cent from the charity stripe.

McGill took their last lead of the contest with only eight seconds left in the game. Guard Chris Emergui was able to find space in the low post and converted a short jump shot which gave the Redmen a 77-76 lead. Concordia immediately inbounded the ball to Bouchard, who raced upcourt in hope of getting off one final shot. Lucky for the heavily covered Bouchard, an extremely questionable touch foul was called

on the Redmen. The many McGill referees in the crowd said it was a bad call.

With the entire crowd on it’ s feet, Bouchard coolly swished both of his free throws. McGill tried to get one final shot to win, but their attempt came up short. A dejected Redmen team walked off the floor.

“Oh boy... this was tough. We know we can play with them. You have to win games like this,” said an extrem ely disappointed Sammy Mendolia.

Mendolia kept the Redmen in the game by scoring 9 first half points and finishing with 13.

Each year, Montreal basketball fans are treated to three M cG illConcordia regular season basketball games. These games showcase an emotional level unmatched in any other M cG ill rivalry. Although M cGill still holds playoff hopes, their upcoming game against Laval has become the Redm en’ s most important contest of the year.

M cGill hosts Laval. Friday, February 16 at 8 p.m.

Redmen hockey split weekend road trip

By A ndrew Boon The boys in red travelled to the hotbed of university hockey in the hopes o f bolstering their league position.

After a disappointing 5-2 loss to Toronto last Friday night, the Redmen bounced back like a hoard of wild caribou to defeat the Guelph Gryphons 4-3.

Last Friday night, McGill put forth a weak effort in the loss to Toronto, with Mike Buffone and Pierre Gendron contributing a goal a piece in the losing cause. With this weak start, the Redmen needed some inspiration, and it came in the form of Earl ‘The Pearl’ Zukerman’s Magic Kiss. The luck-laden Pearl, coupled with coach Bangen’s infi­ nite hockey wisdom, and of course some good ol’ fashion guts, resulted in the Redmen entering Gryphon country and kicking butt.

McGill are well known for their finesse and skill as opposed to their bruising abilities, but Saturday night, the Red ‘n’ White looked like a mix­ ture between Wayne Gretzky and Tie Domi — talented and tough.

While putting on a show of crisp passing, smooth skating, and cre­ ative play making, the Redmen bul­ lied an obviously bigger Guelph team.

Benoit Leroux potted the first ; goal for McGill as they took an early | 1-0 lead after the first period. McGill | peppered Guelph with 13 shots and had numerous chances to find the i back of the net. History marked the : beginning of the second period as captain fantastic, Todd Marcellus, entered the M cGill record books.

M arcellus scored his twentieth league goal and became the sixth player in Redmen hockey history to join the 200 point club.

Guelph made a game of it and potted a couple, but a goal by Mike “The Madman” Buffone and a sec­ ond from Marcellus put the final nail in the coffin, and clearly demonstrat­ ed who was the superior team.

Martin Routhier had a solid game with two assists, but it was a particular Redmen who was held pointless that raised a few eyebrows and had young children pointing in awe. Kelly Nobes played like a pos­ sessed demon, racing up and down the ice, mucking it up in the comers, and sacrificin g his body for the cause. Spectators were overheard asking, “who is that Golden Vision?.” Nobes was playing in new skates, and if their is any indication as to what’s to come, Nobes can get ready for a bevy o f endorsement offers.

Jarrod Daniel got the win and made several key saves including a breakaway which featured a Potvinesque glove hand to thwart the Gryphons attacker.

The Redmen return home in second place behind league leader Trois Rivieres. It might appear that McGill are about to peak at the right time. They face off against TroisR ivières this W ednesday in a V alentine match-up that could resem ble a bitter divorce. The Redmen will then host Concordia in their final regular season game Saturday at 7p.m. and then they will square up against Ottawa in a sud­ den death, one-game play-off.

February 13 th, 1996

S p O rtS

Martlets continue winning ways

Synchro takes gold

By A rjun Taneja

By A lyson Slater

usual tricks as she tallied 18 points and 13 rebounds. Tessier is tied for sixth place in the nation in scoring, averaging 21.2 points per game, and lead s team m ate Anne Gildenhuys to top the Q U B L in

Make no mistake about it, the M cG ill Martlets are simply very good.

Currently ranked seventh in the nation, this talent­ laden team has its eyes set on a return trip to the N atio n als.

However, before they can reach th eir final destination, some obsta­ cles must be overcome.

With that in mind, on a damp and dreary Frid ay n ig h t, the M a rtlets w elcom ed their cross-town rivals from Concordia into the friendly confines of the Currie Gym. They then proceeded to slaughter them in a very unlady­ lik e m anner. In an im pressive display o f fire-power, the Martlets led wire to wire while taking leads o f 25 and 28 points before even­ tu ally w inning by a final score o f 86-62.

On a night where it seem ed the M artlets could do no wrong, 4 of A ir Stacey skies over a Con U d efen d er the starting 5 M cG ill players recorded point totals in that category. Equally impressive double-figures. Particularly note­ was another nativ e o f la b e lle worthy were the performances of p ro v in ce, Jen n ifer Stacey , who Vicky Tessier and Jennifer Stacey. added 17 points including 2 o f the Tessier, the 5 ’ 11” native o f three-point variety. This third year Chateauguay, Quebec and athreephysical education student was time All-Canadian, was up to her outstanding as she quarter-backed

IN T E R N A T IO N A L

E M P LO Y M E N T

the M a rtlets o ffe n c e over the Stingers.

Unfortunately, it was apparent from the outset that the second place Stingers lacked any ‘sting’ on this night as they dropped to 54 on the season. With the easy victory the M artlets, who have already clinched the Q UBL title, raised their league record to a lofty 10-0.

Nishi Rawat, a second year guard, conveyed the excitement that is ubiquitous on the Martlets as they aim for a return trip to the Nationals.

“Everyon e on the team is excited about the way we’re play­ ing and is anticipating the provin­ cials which will hopefully lead to the Nationals,” she stated.

In addition she added that the recent return of Debby Morse and the ex p ected return o f Jo s e e D eloretto should also enhance M c G ill’ s ch a n ces down the stretch.

The Martlets have two more games left in the regular season b efo re the p ro v in cia l fin a ls.

However, the light at the end of the tunnel is a trip back to the Nationals which are scheduled for the M arch 8 -1 0 w eekend in Laval.

The M artlets host Laval Feb. 16 at 6p.m.

The M cG ill synchronized swimming team was the one to beat this weekend at the Ontario University Women’s Intercollegiate Athletic Association Championships held at the University of Toronto.

McGill had effortlessly swept all regular season meets leading up to this championship weekend. So, with strong teams like McMaster, Queen’s, and Toronto gunning for their place, McGill had to turn in near perfect performances in every event to secure the 1996 OWIAA championship banner. And that is exactly what they did.

In the team routine event the Martlets “A” team swam into the hearts of the fans and judges with an exciting performance choreographed to songs from the Eurhythmies.

Wendy Pollard, Marie Serimer, Julie Paris, Erin O ’ F errall, Jenne Peterman and Karen W hiting secured first place edging out second place McMaster and a bronze per­ formance by Queen’s.

Swimmer/coach Peterman said her team swam well under pressure, and had no problem rising up to the challenge.

“We knew we had it in us, we just had to go for it. The victory was extra special for our graduating swimmers.” The “A” team was backed up by McGill’s “B ” team of Karen M ulligan, Andrea Bunn, Miriam Gartenberg, Melita Noel, Shannon Bourassa and Line

Dufresne who swam to a strong sev­ enth place finish overall.

In other events, Paris dominat­ ed the field of soloists and captured first place, while teammate, Whiting .followed up with a seventh place finish. The duet o f Peterman and Whiting placed third behind duets from McMaster and Toronto. Also in the duet event, O ’Ferrall and Harrison placed seventh.

Paris swam for her third gold medal performance of the weekend in the senior figures event.

Peterman placed sixth in the same event. In the intermediate figures, Pollard placed third. The Martlets dominated the novice figures event as Bourassa placed second, D ufresne third, and graduating senior Milligan turned in a career personal best performance to secure sixth place.

“It was the great performances by all team members, novice through senior, which allowed us to win the overall title so decisively,” said Peterman.

The Martlets were crowned the OWIAA champions with an overall score of 72 points, followed distant­ ly by McMaster (55), University of Toronto (52) and Queen’s (48).

Paris’ achievements did not go unnoticed as she was named the top swimmer o f the meet, and was awarded the all-around trophy. In addition, Paris, Peterman and Whiting were named to the presti­ gious 10 member OWIAA All-Star team.

Clinique Bonus Tim e at Eaton

TRAVEL ABROAD & WORK! M a k e u p to $ 2 5 - $ 4 5 + p e r h o u r t e a c h in g b a s ic c o n v e r s a t io n a l E n g lis h a b r o a d . an d S. K o rea. &

b o ard

+

b a ck g ro u n d

J a p a n , T a iw a n ,

M a n y e m p lo y e r s p r o v id e r o o m o th e r or

b e n e fits .

A s ia n

O p e n to a ll m a jo r s .

la n g u a g e s

te a c h in g re q u ir e d .

F o r m o r e in f o r m a t io n c a ll:

(2 0 6 )9 7 1 -3 5 7 0 I n t e r n a t io n a l

No

Ext J40891

E m p lo y m e n t

G rou p

O ur Clinique "O n th e D ouble" Bonus: • Clarifying Lotion 2, 60 mL • Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion, 20 mL • Soft-Pressed Powder Blusher in Plum Gorgeous • Re-Moisturizing Lipstick in Ginger Flower • Aromatics Elixir Body Smoother, 30 mL • Lip Brush • All in a neat cosmetic pouch.

Yours with any Clinique purchase of $ 19 or more.

One bonus per customer. Offer good until February 25, 1996.

Faculties of Arts and of Science Moyse Travelling Scholarship A p p licatio n s are now being accep ted for th e M oyse Travelling Sch olarsh ip . O n e scholarship for d istin ctio n w ill be awarded to a student in th e Faculty o f A rts and th e o th e r for d istin ctio n by Facu lty o f S c ie n c e . T h e scholarship is intend ed to support a year o f advanced study, preferably in a B ritish or European university.

V a lu e :

A rts

- $ 8 ,0 0 0 to $ 1 2 ,0 0 0

S c ie n c e

- $ 4 ,0 0 0 to $ 8 ,0 0 0

A p p lica tio n in stm ctio n s and full details o f th e

(withtheexceptionof M o istu re O n -C all.

Aromatics Elixirproductsl Exactly what your skin needs at this time of year. Improved ability to build up a healthy moisture barrier. A new lease on moisture, firmness & comfort. Helps protect against environmental damage. Skin feels softer, smoother, more deeply moisturized. Allergy tested & fragrance free.

Give your skin what it needs.

50 mL $42 Also available: Quick Eyes $ 19

scholarship are available from D aw son Flail, R o o m 2 16.

D e a d lin e : A p r il 1 , 1 9 9 6

Page 21

E a t o n . W e w a n t to b e y o u r s to re .

February 13th, 1996

Page 22 S p O f t S

Martlet hockey loses to powerhouse Stingers

By D an Saragosti The game between the Mar­ tlets and the Concordia Stingers resembled a David meets Goliath scenario. However, in the latter case, the side with less fire-power rarely wins...and in this case they did not.

The Martlets put up a game effort, but Concordia still had its way with them. Con U controlled the puck for long stretches at a time, and scored three goals in boththe first and third periods, four in the second.

McGill lost this game by ten, but they had no reason to feel shamed. The Stingers are a jugger­ naut of a team, and they regularly beat their opponents in scores that resem b le lo w -sco rin g fo o tb a ll games.

C on co rd ia’ s team inclu d es two members from the American National Hockey Team and one Canadian National Team player.

One o f its assistant captains is Cammi Granato, who last year was featured in an article in S ports Illu stra ted , and w hose brother Tony plays for the Los Angeles Kings.

When they want competition, the Stingers bring teams in from outside Montreal. They recently hosted and won the Theresa Humes Invitational Tournament, beating several top university and club teams. Later this month, they are going to play the Russian national team.

The M artlets, on the other hand, have no national team play­ ers and no celebrities. They’re the least ex p erien ced team in the league, which makes things tough.

On this night, they were further disadvantaged by the fact that only 13 players dressed b ecau se o f injuries. They went with two lines o f forwards and defencemen all

night, w hile C oncord ia had 18 players available.

One might think that McGill’s

M artlet h ockey breaks into the C oncordia z on e with hopes o f scoring players would be depressed before a game like this; but they took the view that playing against the best can only lead to improvement.

Team captain Beth Brown said the M artlets are actu ally more m otivated than usual against C on co rd ia, b ecau se they have som ething to prove, and som e respect to gain.

Brown stressed the importance of remaining focused against oppo­ nents as good as Concordia, since a let-down can be quite costly. The team follo w ed her ad vice and fought valiantly from start to end.

A fte r the gam e, M c G ill’ s co ach in g s ta ff said they were' pleased with the team’s effort and proud o f their improvement over the season.

F irst-y ea r head co ach Dan Madden said that the program is in rebuilding mode. He pointed out that Concordia was not always a powerhouse, and it took time to

MAITRISE EN NVIRQNNEMENT À l'U niversité (le Sherbrooke, une vision globale de l'environnem ent

Un p ro g ra m m e Écologie, chimte, communications, droit, écologie, génie, géographie, gestion, santé, etc.

U ne f o r m u le s o u p le e t a c cessib le Le programme s'adresse à toute [

personne titulaire d'un grade

R enseignem ents

de 1er cycle. Il offre le choix de

Secrétariat Maîtrise en environnement Pavillon Marie-Victorin Université de Sherbrooke Sherbrooke (Québec) J1K2R1

deux cheminements, soit une maîtrise

Téléphone (819) 821-7933 Télécopieur (819) 821-6909

build that program up to where it is now. He is hopeful that M cG ill will improve in the future due to

de type «cours», avec possibilité de stage rémunéré en entreprise, ou une maîtrise de type «recherche».

UNIVERSITÉ DE

SHERBROOKE

the te a m 's work eth ic and its increased recruiting — exemplified by goalie Lucie Fortin and forward Kathleen O ’ R eilly , both o f whom have played well since joining the team this year.

A ssistan t coach Kathy Morrison, who played for the M artlets from ‘88 to ‘9 3 , expressed frustration, explain­ ing that not only do other teams have more funding than McGill, but that many do not even play by the same rules.

The Quebec University H ockey L eague does not belong to the C IA U , and McGill is the only team in the league that fo llo w s C IA U rules regarding e lig ib ility .

C on cord ia’ s team includes several players who have used up their elig ib ility at other universities, and other teams in the league even use players

who do not attend school.

During her time at M cG ill, Morrison has seen the team rise from the bottom o f the league to near the top in the early ‘90s, and then return to where they were in the first place. Still, she hopes for another resurgence.

W h ile those around the Martlets dream o f a better future, this year’s team has one last chance to provide proof o f their improve­ ment over the season. Their last league game is this Friday against CÉGEP St. Laurent, the team that’s closest to them in the standings. A victory would make for a story­ book ending to a tough season.

C Martlet hockey plays CÉGEP S t-L au ren t this F rid ay fo r their last league game.

Sports Hall of Fame will honour McGill’s greatest athletes

By D'Arcy D oran The university that brought you hockey, football and basketball will finally be able to honour its rich athletic tradition, beginning this fall.

The M cG ill Sports Hall o f Fame will honour M cG ill’s finest athletes. It will open September 19 with its first inaugural luncheon.

McGill Athletics Director Bob Dubeau proposed the idea of a hall of fame ten years ago.

“We have such a great tradi­ tion not only in university, but in Canadian sport, it’ s a shame the university hasn’t found a way to honour that tradition,” Dubeau said.

“The first football game was played at McGill, hockey started here and all kinds of gold medals have been won by McGill athletes.”

According to the Hall of Fame chair David Johnson, M cGill was

the perfect candidate for the pro­ ject. “It’s hard to imagine a univer­ sity with a more distinguished role in sports,” he said. “McGill is dis­ tinctive in that it demonstrates that Ahtlietics and academics can go hand in hand.”

Dubeau explained the co n ­ struction of the new sports centre and the tim ing o f the 175th anniversary made this year perfect for establishing the hall.

There are three categories for inductees: ath letes, team s, and builders (people who made signifi­ cant con tribu tion s to sports although they did not play). For the next few years, there will be a spe­ cial category for historical figures.

For the first five years, indi­ viduals from before World War I will be inducted in the historical category. Two such figures being touted as potential h isto rica l inductees are James Naismith who

AUS Nomination Period Feb. 15 - March 1 P resid en t V P A cad em ic V P A d m in istration V P F in an ce V P In tern al R eps to SSM U (3) C a ll 3 9 8 -1 9 9 3 o r p ic k u p fo r m s a t th e A U S o ffic e , 3 4 6 3 P e e l.

is famous for inventing basketball, and fo o tb a ll innovator Frank “Shag” Shaughnessy, who was the first to think of throwing a forward pass in football.

Naismith played football and com peted in gym nastics for McGill, and graduated in 1887. He went on to teach physical education at McGill and became the universi­ ty’s first athletics director.

It was after he left McGill for S p rin g field C o lle g e in M assa­ chusetts that he invented basket­ ball.

Shaughnessy played football for Notre Dame and major league baseball. He came to M cG ill in 1912, and coached the Redmen football team for the next 17 years.

In 1921, in a game at Syracuse, he instructed Don B aillie (father of current coach Charlie B aillie) to throw the first forward pass. It was officially adopted by the Canadian Rugby League ten years later.

The Hall of Fame will be situ­ ated in Tomlinson Hall, located between the Currie Gym and the Field House.

Each inductee will be repre­ sented by a 12 by 16 inch metal plaque with the individual or team’s picture and a brief list of their achievements. Dubeau said there will be computers that will provide histories and photos of the inductees.

No university money is being used in the h all. The M artlet Foundation is covering the set-up costs and Dubeau hopes the annual luncheons will cover future costs.

The department o f athletics expects nominations to come in from all over the world, with the selection com m ittee meeting in March.

t (t, 4 0 Nominees must have been out o f university sports fo r ten years. Nomination form s are a v a ila b le fro m the M cG ill Department o f Athletics.

February 13th, 1996

W h a t ’s o n / S p r o t s

Tuesday. Feb. 13 • Post-Abortion Support Group. Women’s Union. Shatner 423, 5 p.m.

• Activist Week Workshop: “Accessing Montreal’s Media” with Dermond Travis, PIRA Communications. Shatner B-09/B10. noon-2 p.m. 398-7432.

• Activist Week Discussion:

3465.

• Liberal McGill policy round­ table, for presentation to federal government. Social welfare reform, environment, deficit, constitutional change, drug décriminalisation.

Shatner 310. 4 p.m.

• Activist Week Workshop: “Impact of Quebec/ Canadian Student Activism on Educational

• LBGTM comming out group.

Every Friday. UTC basement (3521 University Street). 5:30 p.m.

• LBGTM men’s group. Every Fridays. UTC basement (3521 University Street). 7 p.m.

• LBGTM ’s Queer Café, a laid-back weekly social for queers.

La California, upstairs (1412 Ste. Elizabeth). 8 p.m. Free. Every

Submissions • The McGill Review fo r Interdisciplinary Arts is accepting papers from McGill undergrads that combine disciplines. 844-4907.

• The History Students’ Association’s H istorical Discourses is accepting submissions. Deadline: Feb. 15. Leacock 6th fl. 989-9603.

• The Photographic Society’s

Page 23

annual photo contest is open to all McGill students, staff and alumni.

Deadline: Mar. 5. Shatner B-06.

398-6786 or agodin@pobox.mcgill.ca.

• The first North American Studies Journal is accepting papers.

Deadline: Mar. 1. Prof. Riggs.

Leacock 6th fl.

W H A T ’S ON? “Feminists Organizing in a Campus Environment” with Cressida Fleyes.

Shatner B-09/10. 3-5 p.m. 3987432.

• Activist Week Discussion: “Building Bridges and Breaking Down Walls: Anti-poverty Work from a Jewish Perspective”, Hillel House (3460 Stanley). 3 p.m. 3987432.

• Molecular Oncology Group seminar ‘The Mechanism of Transcript Elongation of RNA Polymerase II” with Dr. Donald L. Lee. Hersey Pavilion (687 Pins W.), room H5.38. noon. 843-1479.

• Red Herring meeting.

Shatner B-01B. 4:30 p.m. 398MUCK. Wednesday. Feb. 14 • Earthsave McGill’s video night. 7 p.m.: Klaper’s Diet fo r All Reasons. 8 p.m.: Free food and drink. 8:30 p.m. Robbin’s Diet fo r a New America. Contact Mark, 2899532.

• Activist Week Workshop: “Campaigning through the Internet”. Shatner 107/108. noon-2 p.m. 398-7432.

• Activist Week Workshop: “Lobbying City Hall” with Sam Boskey, Democractic Coalition Ecology Montreal. Shatner 107/108.

3-5 p.m. 398-7432.

• Hispanic Studies lecture, “Cultivating Community: Calderon and the Power of Religious Drama,” Prof. Margaret Greer, Princeton U. Bronfman 678. 4 p.m.

• LBGTM bisexual discussion group meets every Weds. Shatner 423. 5:30 p.m.

• The Society of Undergraduate Mathematics Students and the Department of Mathematics and Statistics present Applied Mathematics Series lecture, “New Challenges Faced by Actuaries,” Alice Kieran, CP Rail.

Burnside 1B36. 4 p.m. Contact Donna, 629-5567 or 398-3333.

Policy” on the history of student movements and current battles/ challenges. With Brad Lavigne, CFS and MDE. Shatner 107/108. noon- 2 p.m. 398-7432.

• Activist Week Workshop: “Unlearning Oppression” with Susanna Gonzales, CKCU (Radio Carleton). CKUT office (3647 University). 2-5 p.m. 398-7432.

• Activist Week Workshop: “Union organizing” with CSN and AGSEM. Shatner 107/108. 3-5 p.m.

398-7432.

• Informal Activist Week Gettogether: ‘Taking Collective Action” with Group Action. Shatner 107/108. 3-5 p.m. 398-7432.

• McGill Symphony Orchestra and Chorus with Ivan Edwards.

Works by Brott, Champagne, and Rossini. Pollack Hall. 8 p.m. Pass required to attend.

• LBGTM all-womyn’s group.

Every Thursdays. Shatner 423. 6:30 p.m.

P U B

cb * ^

Monday. Feb. 19 • PROBE (Public Research on Business Ethics) is a Q-PRIG work­ ing group whose aim is to promote conscious consumerism through the examination of multi-national cor­ porations. Meetings every Monday.

Q-PRIG office (3647 University Street). 6 p.m.

Upcoming and Ongoing • Planning for International Women’s Week has begun! Weekly meetings. Women’s Union. 3986823.

• Have you been sexually assaulted at McGill? Please call and help develop recommendations for McGill sexual assault policy.

Contact Carla 856-4634.

• “Living with Loss: Bereavement Support Group” for adults and young adults who have suffered the loss of a family mem­ ber or friend. School of Social Work. 398-7067.

• Volunteer Bureau’s fourth annual Charity Ball (Mar. 9, at the Just For Laughs Museum). Tickets at Shatner Sadie’s. $20. 398-6819.

• Whitewash campaign: Info about alternative menstrual prod­ ucts. Women’s Union. Shatner 423.

Friday. Feb. 16 • McGill for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is selling tickets to Paul Watson’s lecture, ‘The Federal Government’s Respumtion of the Commerical Seal Hunt.” FDA lobby. $2. 398-2142.

• Used book co-op. Last chance to pick up cheques and unsold books. Shatner B-09. 11 a.m.

- 3 p.m.

• alcides lanza’s “the extended piano” (piano and new technologies /electronic composition). Works by Peron, lanza, Celona, Pennycook, Lee and Bunger. Pollack Hall. 8 p.m. Free. 398-4547.

11 o e k e y W 19 14 14 6

UQTR McGill Ottawa Concordia

W

W

M w li 9 4 0

Laval Sherbrooke Montreal McGill

W 6 6 4 3

Concordia Bishop’s McGill Laval

Diskette

Tuesdayy {e b . n

, ïeb' ’d jau

I ja fe n t t n e Is D a y

( a n d ify o u n e e d u s t o r e m in d y o u , y o u v d e i i e r d r in y f o is o f t d o s e

W 10 5 4 0

McGill Concordia Laval Bishop’s

MIXED BRINES $3.00

W ednesday

c h o c o fa ie s ! )

L 1 2 4 11

o m w 16 12 7 3 2

Laval „Montreal McGill Concordia Sherbrooke

T 0 2 2 0

o m

w 7 7 4 0

Concordia UQTR St. Laurent McGill

o m

BOTTLED BEER $3.00

L 5 8 8 18

OF 152 114 95 97

e n T 2 2 2 0

e n 's L 0 4 9 13 14

e n '» L 1 3 8 12

o c k e y

GF 72 46 26 2

GA 11 15 20 100

SF 33 28 18 0

PTS 16 16 10 0

o l l e y b a l l

SA 4 15 32 43 44 V

PTS 38 30 30 12

*st H

V

SF 48 39 29 17 15

GA 68 99 84 131

PTS 32 24 14 6 4

o l l e y I m SA 7 12 24 36

l I

PTS 22 18 8 0

B n » I c e l l » n 11

PhotoMcGill

Thursday, Feb. 15 • Progressive students/groups invited to networking/ brainstorm­ ing session. Free food and drink.

Thompson House Comer Lounge (3650 McTavish). 6-9 p.m. 845-

B E R T 'S

Friday. 398-6822.

• Redpath Noon-Hour Organ Series with Scott Bradford. Redpath Hall. 12:15 p.m.

• McGill Chamber Winds, directed by Eugene Plawutsky with Paul Helmer on Piano. Works by Jànacck, Wagner, Stravinsky, and Schoenberg. Repath Hall. 8 p.m.

TH E

BEST

Thursday W>-15

L 3 4 6 6

PF 753 747 711 627

PA 685 675 744 734

PTS 12 12 8 6

e n ’ as ■ S a m 1 * L 0 4 5 10

PF 774 626 545 492

PA 540 625 541 731

P R IC E S IN

frk la y ^

f t

» 11

PTS 20 10 8 0

TH E

C IT Y !

16 S a tu rd a y *6- *

Sis**, Wee*; is

foerel

N o m in a tio n s |a r e i (Q ^ 1 ^ 1

n o w o p e n fo r t h e fo llo w in g p o s itio n s :

★

C h ie f R e t u r n in g

★

O ld

★

R ed

★

M c G ill T r ib u n e

★

S S M U

★

S tu d e n t

M c G ill

J a n u a ry

E d ito r -in -C h ie f E d ito r -in -C h ie f

H an d b o o k L e a d e r

C o o r d in a to r O r g a n iz a tio n a l

C o o r d in a to r

★

S p e a k e r

of S S M U

★

S S M U

★

E n v ir o n m e n ta l

J u d ic ia l

C o u n c il

B o a rd

(5 )

C o m m itte e

C o o r d in a to r ★

B u ddy

P ro g ra m

★

S e p te m b e r

P ro g ra m

★

O p en

★

W e lc o m e

★

B lo o d

D r iv e

C o o r d in a to r

★

C u ltu r e fe s t

C o o r d in a to r

★

A c tiv itie s

N ig h t

★

T e le p h o n e

D ir e c to r y

★

C lu b

C o m m is s io n e r s

^

C lu b

F in a n c e

★

U s e d

A ir

Pub

C o o r d in a to r

W e e k

C o o r d in a to r

C o o r d in a to r C o o r d in a to r (1 0 )

C o m m is s io n e r

T e x tb o o k

E xch an g e

C o o r d in a to r

C o o r d in a to r

F ro s h

F ro s h

C o o r d in a to r

E d ito r -in -C h ie f

H e r r in g

B u lle tin

★

O ffic e r

P ro g ra m

C o o r d in a to r A ll

p o s itio n s

r e s t r ic t io n s h a v e ,

o r

p e r s o n

o n

o r

s e le c t io n

t h e

M

c G ill

w h e t h e r

a n y

p o s itio n

a

t e a m

.

W

c o m

m

h ile is

o n

s t u d e n t .

w h a t is

t o

e x p e r ie n c e

h e ld

in

T h e r e

a r e

b a c k g r o u n d

y o u

b e is

e q u a lly

a s s u m e d

b y

a n

f o r

a s s e t

h ig h

r e g a r d

a

n o m

u s t

s in g le

s o m e

b y

t h e

itt e e .

a n d

a p p lic a t io n s

S t u d e n t s ’ S o c ie t y

m o r e

The

a n y

a p p ly ,

e n th u s ia s m

U n iv e r s it y F o r

t o

c a n

D e s c r ip t io n s a t

o n

o p e n w h o

b y

p o s itio n s ,

a r e

f o r

f r o n t

e a c h

p o s itio n

c o u n t e r

in

t h e

c a n

W

b e

illia m

p ic k e d

u p

S h a t n e r

C e n t r e .

in fo r m

d e a d lin e

a t io n ,

p le a s e

c o n t a c t

f o r a p p lic a t io n s

is

F r id a y ,

F e b ru a ry

1 6 th .