McGill Tribune November 22 2011

Tribune The McGill

Published by the Tribune Publication Society Volume No. 31 Issue No. 12

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

SSMU Council Indigenous conference Editorial Letter from PGSS The Artist Christmas in November NBA Lockout

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Twitter hashtags, pages 10-11

M for Montreal celebrates its sixth year

Performances at M for Montreal. Clockwise from top left: Parlovr, Uncle Bad Touch, and Hollerado. See photos on page 9. (Ryan Reisert / McGill Tribune)

Senate discussion on Nov. 10 sees clash of viewpoints

Senators discuss Jutras’ appointment; spectators walk out as Provost Masi gives first-hand account

By Anand Bery News Editor The beginning of Wednesday’s Senate meeting focused heavily on the events of Nov. 10. In a departure from Senate’s tradition of a closeddoor assembly, the first hour was streamed live over the Internet to the McGill community.

In her opening remarks, Senate Chair and Principal Heather Munroe-Blum apologized for the events that took place on Nov. 10. It

was one of the first public apologies from the administration on the way that night’s events unfolded.

“We’re all dismayed by what happened on our campus,” Munroe-Blum said. “People across the board were hurt, intimidated, and threatened. As principal of McGill, I’m deeply sorry that events so at odds with the culture and values of our university, and so hurtful to so many, have happened here at McGill.”

She went on to express her

thanks for student groups who mobilized quickly in response to those who were physically and emotionally hurt.

Dean of Law, Daniel Jutras, who will be heading an independent investigation into the events, reminded senators that his inquiry will purely engage in fact finding, and that he could not assign blame or compel testimony.

As Jutras spoke, a number of spectators turned their backs to the committee, expressing their reser-

vations with having a faculty and administration member carry out an investigation that deals with his own administration.

In an interview with the Tribune, the McGill Daily, and Le Délit last week, Munroe-Blum emphasized that Jutras would act independently.

“I wanted someone who has deep loyalty and concern for the university and the wellbeing of everyone in it, and yet who is known for impartiality [and] indepen-

dence,” she said of her decision to appoint Jutras. “He’s got complete autonomy, he doesn’t report to me in the course of doing this investigation … and I have confidence that he will serve the university, not any one individual.”

A number of senators, including Senator and Professor of Communication Studies, Darin Barney, noted their own concerns with having a dean and faculty member carry out the investigation. Barney See “SENATE” on page 2

News Senate talks Nov. 10 continued from COVER suggested that Jutras be accompanied by one student and one faculty member in his investigation. The terms of the investigation, however, had already been set.

As part of the discussion, Management Senator Tom Acker recounted his experience on the evening of Nov. 10.

“I watched close friends in pain as they tried to wash pepper spray out of their eyes. I’ve seen students on the verge of tears when describing what has happened to them,” he said. “I know that for many students, Thursday marks the day that they stopped seeing their campus as a safe space for self-expression and support. For me, that transition has happened much earlier.”

SSMU President Maggie Knight raised concerns as to why the administration had not responded with more urgency to support students, and took a number of days to inform students of where they could seek help. She noted that, following the earthquake in Japan last spring, a notice of where students could seek help was distributed within hours.

Towards the end of the committee discussion, Provost Anthony Masi presented what he had wit-

nessed that night. Referring to the occupiers’ entry as an ‘attack,’ he described the occupation of the fifth floor as one marked by violence and intimidation.

“You may turn your backs on the truth, but the truth is important,” he said to the spectators who had turned away from him.

“The women who were in the offices [at] the time, and there only were several women in at the time, were pushed and shoved,” he continued. “They were frightened and they were crying. Social media [was] being used to portray events inside that do not correspond to what most of those women were living through at the moment.”

During Masi’s account, spectators, some of whom were identified as occupiers, jeered and yelled “lies.” Matt Crawford, Arts Senator, who had earlier revealed himself to senate as a fifth floor occupier, walked out in response to Masi’s statement. Other spectators followed.

Dean Jutras’ investigation will be released on Dec. 15. In the weeks to come, he will be consulting with students, faculty, and community members to hear their experiences.

News in brief Negotiations with MUNACA briefly suspended

The Tribune is looking for News, Features, and Arts and Entertainment editors. To apply, send a CV and three relevant writing samples to editor@mcgilltribune. com.

Negotiations between MUNACA and McGill came to a halt on Friday, Nov. 11 after the provincial conciliator suspended talks.

The Quebec government appointee did so, citing that the parties were too far apart on wage issues. Dates for negotiation were undecided until yesterday evening, when the conciliator called the parties back to the table for Friday, Nov. 25.

Other issues such as pensions, benefits, and premiums have been seriously discussed, though they remained unresolved, according to a statement on MUNACA’s website.

Both parties sought to explain the issue’s divisiveness.

“We have stated from the outset of these negotiations that we are committed to winning a fair agreement, one that brings us in line with other Montreal universities,” the statement read. “Unfortunately McGill to date has not demonstrated that it is prepared to agree to this.”

MUNACA’s current position on wages is twofold, according to a document on its website dated Sept.

15. One part of the union’s demands is a three per cent annual increase in wages per employee. The second component calls for a “proper wage scale.”

“Our current proposal has em-

ployees moving from the minimum to the maximum of the pay scale in six years (under the old collective agreement it would take an employee 37 years to reach the top of their pay scale, which is unheard of in the unionized university sector),” the statement reads. “At other Montreal universities it takes anywhere from three years to 14 years.”

McGill also issued a statement on the halt, delivered via an email from VP Administration and Finance Michael Di Grappa. Citing constraints such as a $6 million budgetary deficit, an additional six agreements with other on-campus unions, and the provincial government’s salary policy, Di Grappa explained that bumps in the road were to be expected in the negotiation process.

“Please be assured that we will not rest in our effort to find a settlement as quickly as possible. The administration wants an end to this strike as much as anyone at McGill.

To that end, the university made significant changes in its positions on a number of issues during the course of the negotiations—as has the union.”

—Elisa Muyl

The strike in pictures. (Alexandra Allaire / McGill Tribune)

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Campus

McGill institute holds conference on indigenous rights Leaders discuss challenges of enforcing the UN Declaration on Rights of Indigenous People

By Jimmy Lou Contributor This past Thursday and Friday, the McGill Institute for the Study of International Development held an international conference titled “The Challenge of Respecting Indigenous People’s Rights: Comparing Experiences from Africa, Latin America and North America.” Prominent activists, scholars, and social workers from around the world gathered to discuss the problems currently faced by indigenous people, to raise awareness of the issues at hand, and to work on discovering the best solutions.

In his opening address, political science professor Philip Oxhorn, one of the event’s key organizers, laid out the goals of the conference.

“One is to establish a more dynamic dialogue between those directly involved in the matters relating to the indigenous people’s rights

and university researchers, who might make more positive contributions to solving the challenges that we all face,” he said. “[The other is] to establish a platform that allows us to compare and understand the relative successes and continuing shortcomings so that we can develop better policies and better practices for the future.”

Ronald Niezen, Canada Research Chair in the comparative study of indigenous rights and identity, noted that “throughout this conference, every speech revolved around the issue of centuries of research and advocacy for indigenous rights.”

Robert Watts, the vice president and senior partner of First Peoples Group, illustrated the lack of care given to indigenous people in Canada with the story of his nephew, an indigenous teenager who recently dropped out of school. With regret, he told the audience that if more

attention were paid to indigenous youth, “maybe [his] learning disability would have been discovered at the time and some help would have been given.”

In her keynote speech, Dr. Natividad Gutierrez Chong, from the Social Research Institute at the National Autonomous University of Mexico, described the difficulties of finding a middle ground between the economic interests of governments and corporations with extractive interests and the rights of indigenous peoples.

“What states like is the status quo. They don’t want things to change, and the [Declaration on Rights of Indigenous People] is a threat to that. [Indigenous people] would have rights to control their land, rights to control their natural resources, rights to free, prior, and informed consent,” she said. “All of them are resisted by the government, and those are very important rights

that can make change, and make the indigenous people’s lives better.”

In a panel titled “Achievements and Pending Challenges after the Passage of the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous People,” panelists discussed improvements in rights of indigenous people in the past few decades, focusing on the UN’s 2007 declaration supporting indigenous rights. The speakers also noted that the government of Canada has implemented departments dealing specifically with indigenous affairs, which increases funding and programs to help indigenous people escape the vicious cycle of poverty.

They noted that this trend of funding programs has yet to take place in developing nations of Africa—such as the Democratic Republic of Congo or Botswana—or South America— like Argentina or Bolivia—where minimal progress is made despite the problems at hand.

Ultimately, the speakers ex-

pressed hope for positive change and advances towards the care of indigenous rights. According to Gutierrez Chong, change is possible with commitment from all sectors of society.

“As these standards, like free, prior, and informed consent, become used in practice [and] as people recognize how to assert them and companies recognize there are protocols they have to adhere to, there’s going to be a different level of treatment of indigenous people,” she said.

When an audience member asked what role he could play as an “outsider to the struggle of indigenous rights,” Cree lawyer and Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada member, Willie Littlechild, responded.

“The best way for you to help us is to cooperate with us by being aware of the problems at hand and voicing your concerns to the government,” he said.

Campus

SSMU Council discusses co-signing letter with MUNACA Annual budget passed unanimously, notice of motion on General Assembly reform introduced

By Elisa Muyl News Editor Councillor resignation The session began with an announcement that Fenimore Love, the representative to SSMU Council from the faculty of religious studies, was resigning from his position.

He did so without any explanation; the council expects a replacement.

Libraries Colleen Cook, Trenholme Dean of Libraries, was invited to council as a guest speaker. She was appointed to the position last year, following a move from Texas A&M University. She answered questions about current plans for McGill’s library system.

Asked to compare Canadian university libraries to American university libraries, Cook said that the latter had nicer spaces. In terms of collections, Cook said that McGill is “just right at adequate,” due to the availability of electronic access, but in the physical book world, there’s much room for improvement.

Potential plans include a larger eating area in Redpath and the renovation of one of the floors on McLennan.

Question period During council, councillors discussed the events of Nov. 10. Some wondered what SSMU was doing

to support students, and whether it could do more. SSMU President Maggie Knight discussed an independent student inquiry, in conjunction with Dean Jutras’ investigation, into what took place on Nov. 10.

“We don’t have a completely unbiased, everything co-ordinated, version of what happened, although McGill security might, we’re not [entirely] sure at this point,” she said. “There [are] also students doing an independent student inquiry into what happened ... because we don’t know exactly what’s going to come out of the dean of law’s investigation.”

VP External Joël Pedneault mentioned another concern for many groups on campus: the increasingly securitized atmosphere at McGill. He expressed trepidation that Dean Jutras’ inquiry would lead to a further increase in security presence. Knight addressed that concern, saying it would be interesting to include in feedback for Dean Jutras’ investigation.

“Certainly in the conversations that VP Clare I had with univeristy saftey and university services in advance of Monday’s event, we were very concerned that they would have a really beefy security presence there, that it would sort of further escalate things,” said Knight. “They seem to have an awareness of the fact that that would be inappropriate.”

General Assembly reform SSMU councillors discussed a notice of motion on General Assembly (GA) reform. As Speaker Nida Nizam reminded Council, this motion was intended to address some quick questions about the process of GA reform. Nevertheless, Knight was faced with big picture questions regarding concerns with the reform’s structural process.

“Unfortunately, there hasn’t been the level of involvement in this process that I would have liked,” Knight responded. “Please do your job ... and I’m not implying that that people haven’t been so far, but please take the next two weeks to do your job and really bring forward what you want to see for Dec. 1. [Otherwise], we’ll yet again fail to reform the GA.” SSMU Council time limits Engineering Councillor Alexander Kunev presented a motion to limit council sessions to seven hours in an attempt to standardize time allocation for the meeting. Concerns were raised regarding council’s ability to deal with time-sensitive issues, as well as travel time for students who live far away from downtown Montreal.

“Council always has the ability to vote to table a motion ... and perhaps it should simply be a right that council utilizes more effectively,” said President Knight.

Councillors vote at last week’s council. (Sam Reynolds / McGill Tribune) Annual budget approved VP Finance and Operations Shyam Patel presented his plan for SSMU’s 2011-12 budget. Major changes included allocating funding to the Sustainability Case Competition and an increase in the Ambassador Fund to $34,000. The budget was passed unanimously.

Letter to education minister VP External Joël Pedneault introduced a letter written by MUNACA to the Minister of Education, Leisure, and Sport. The letter called for the Minister to take action “to ensure a respectful learning environment for all members of the McGill community,” and cited tumultuous

events such as the MUNACA strike and the deployment of riot police on campus. MUNACA would not entertain any changes to the letter, stylistic or otherwise, so council debated three available choices: signing the letter in conjunction with MUNACA, not signing any letters, or sending a revised version.

Many councillors cite concerns over the letter’s allegations regarding the events of Thursday, Nov. 10. Ultimately, a vote of 2-617-1, with an abstention and six councillors opposed to sending any letter at all, mandated council to send its own version of the letter, to be drafted by Pedneault.

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Curiosity Delivers. www.mcgilltribune.com

This week across Canada

West Coast Canada: B.C. and Alberta’s ski hills opened early this year as the West Coast was hit by a huge snowfall this past week. Whistler opened its slopes to the public on Friday, Nov. 18, joining Cypress Mountain, which opened the previous week. Skiers camped out overnight to be the first to hit the slopes.

Sunshine Village, Lake Louise, and Marmot Basin in the Albertan Rockies are also now open.

Source: cbc.ca

Western Canada: The Obama administration announced on Nov. 10 that a new assessment of the Keystone XL pipeline route is necessary before making a decision on its construction. The pipeline would run from Alberta to Texas, spanning 2,700 kilometres, carrying Canadian oil to be refined in the United States. The reassessment will allow the final decision to be made sometime after the 2012 American presidential elections. TransCanada Corp, in response to widespread opposition in Nebraska concerning the pipeline and potential environmental effects, said that the pipeline can easily be rerouted in order to avoid the Sandhills and Ogallala aquifer. A final agreement was reached between Nebraska and TransCanada on Monday, Nov. 14.

Sources: bbc.co.uk, vancouversun.com

Northern Canada: An agreement signed on Friday grants $100 million to the Labrador Innu over the next 30 years. This accord was in compensation for damages incurred by the Innu Nation from the Upper Churchill hydroelectric project, which began in the 1960s Many concerns regarding this deal, however, have been raised. Former Innu Nation President Katie Riche told the CBC that leaders must ensure that the money benefits the community and future generations by using it to reduce crime rates and address social issues.

Source:cbc.ca

East Coast Canada: Over 600 people protested against hydro-fracking in Fredericton, New Brunswick on Saturday. Hydro-fracking is a process by which water, sand, and chemicals are injected into the ground, creating cracks in the shale rock underground, allowing natural gas to be released from areas otherwise unreachable. Protestors gathered to demonstrate against the controversial project, calling it unacceptable and claiming that the future health and environmental consequences of the process are unknown. Earlier this month, SWN Resources stated that an initial assessment showed extensive underground oil and natural gas in the region.

Source: cbc.ca

News in brief McGill libraries top national ranking of student satisfaction McGill University’s libraries are ranked among the best in Canada, according to a recent Globe and Mail student satisfaction survey. In their report, McGill’s libraries received an ‘A-,’ the second highest possible score. The newspaper published various lists, evaluating different aspects of Canadian universities as part of the Canadian University Report Magazine. The rankings included quality of teaching and learning (for which McGill scored a ‘B+’), career preparation (B), and research opportunities (C+). McGill University had a range of results across the board, but ranked first in “reputation with employers.” The list suggests that McGill retains its international reputation beyond its teaching.

“Our annual results are based entirely on the results of our undergraduate survey, which we have been doing for 10 years—this year, more than 33,000 students [participated],” Simon Beck, special reports editor for the Globe and Mail, said. “[The] university guide is not a ranking—we grade schools depending on the level of satisfaction students have with their school, by category.”

It is uncertain what impact these listings will have on the university, but one student felt that al-

though they make some interesting suggestions, they can’t be taken as fact.

“Although it’s interesting to see any collections of data like this, I’d be curious to know exactly who was asked—I certainly wasn’t,” Laetitia Gerin, a master’s student in engineering, said. “It’s nice to see that reputation with employers ranked so highly, as that will certainly affect all of us later on, and actually the quality of teaching and learning grade I would agree with. However, perhaps it would gain more legitimacy if the listing included more data rather than a school grading system as it makes it a bit ambiguous.”

An anonymous U2 management student disagreed with Gerin’s statement and noted that many students aren’t aware of this ranking.

“I think the listings aren’t really serious. It’s funny they’ve used school grades to mark the universities, but I wouldn’t have known about them if they hadn’t been drawn to my attention,” the student said. “As far as I’m concerned the reputation of McGill precedes itself, so something like this would have little impact on my decision to come here.”

—Hannah George

campus

McGill’s Goodman Centre dances for cancer research YouTube music video of dancing researchers goes viral, raising thousands of dollars from sponsor

By Shannon Kimball Editor-in-Chief Earlier this year, researchers at McGill’s Goodman Cancer Research Centre were looking for funding. Getting creative, they combined a serious message with hiphop music, dancing, and lip-syncing tenured faculty in a YouTube video titled “McGill Dances for Cancer Research.”

The video, filmed over three days last spring, has gone viral on YouTube since its release in late September, and currently boasts over 300,000 hits. Thanks to sponsorship

by Medicom, which is donating one dollar to the centre for every view, the video has already brought in just as many thousand dollars in funding.

Set to Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,” the video features over a dozen McGill faculty and scientists at the Goodman Centre dancing their way around a normal day at the office at the research center on Avenue des Pins. Researching holding placards

with more serious messages such as “Together we can find a cure,” are interspersed between the dancing professors and researchers.

Annette Novak, one of the video’s co-ordinators, explained that the video has other goals beyond targeting donors.

“We were targeting students from other universities in the hopes that they would come here to study and come here to do their research,” she said. Additionally, Medicom’s matching donation process allowed viewers to become involved without donating money themselves.

“It makes people feel like they are partnering with us to raise money,” Novak said. “All you have to do is view this video, share it with your friends, and you, too, can raise money for cancer research.”

Not all members of the cast were enthusiastic when the idea was initially proposed. Concerns of turning serious research into comedy were raised.

“Initially there was some con-

cern because there have been a lot of YouTube videos made by research groups and school groups in general which take on a comedic air, almost trivializing what they do,” Christopher von Roretz, a graduate student in biochemistry who works at the Goodman Centre, said.

Participants were assured that the subject matter would still be portrayed as serious, but the presentation would be light-hearted. According to von Roretz, the final product did just that.

“I think the resounding image [was] that we are optimistic but that we are dealing with a deadly disease by working together,” he said.

Reactions to the video, and its success, from participants has been overwhelmingly positive. Phil Gold, Executive Director of Clinical Research at McGill’s Health Centre and participant in the video, enjoyed participating and was satisfied with the final product.

“The kids were terrific and the post-production was great,” he said

Researchers dance to fight cancer. (McGill University / Youtube.com) via email. He added that faculty members were also pleased with the outcome.

“The video that came out of it was something that I think we participants could never have expected—the energy, the optimistic feel to the video, but also the encouragement, the positive vibes it gave off,” von Rorentz said.

The impact of the video doesn’t end with donations to the centre.

“We’re also going to use it as

an outreach tool for schools and students,” Novak said. “We’re trying to help promote the interest in science for students so that they can see that science can be fun and that science can be interesting and research can be so helpful to society.”

“Everyone who participated in it appreciated the opportunity to participate and contribute to something that I think will be a legacy for the Cancer Centre,” von Rorentz added.

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

campus

BioConnect summit

Connects students to biotech industry

By Lisa Yang Contributor McGill held its second annual interdisciplinary biotechnology symposium last Tuesday. The symposium, held at New Residence Hall, focused on bridging the gap between industry and academia. and included presentations by speakers from both fields, a student poster competition, and a networking session. The event was organized by the BioConnect 2011 Executive Committee, consisting of various McGill University graduate students.

“Our speakers will focus on bridging the gap to science and patents,” Michał Bonar, Symposium Chair, said before the event. “McGill’s biotechnology program is an applied master’s program, so many depend on networking ... [and] this is the first year we know we have real contacts [in the industry].”

Presentations brought a focus to the business side of research and the support resources students can find to make a connection between their graduate research and industry.

Dr. Sathy Rajasekharan, Associate Director of the newly-established McGill Centre for Biomedical Innovation, spoke about the importance of seeking help when looking to take an idea to the industry. “[The Centre] is looking at this from a very simple way. Our shortterm goals are to align the various resources that are out there … The key is to make sure that the person that is interested has a route and a plan and it’s their choice to push that and if they need help, they will be given that help,” Rajasekharan said, in his presentation entitled “Engines of Innovation: Industry, Academia and Entrepreneurship.”

In light of the current economic situation, he told students, “The best thing you can do is try.”

Jesse Vincent-Herscovici, Director of Business Development at Mitacs, a non-profit organization

that connects research to companies, also highlighted opportunities for graduate students, such as research grants offered by Mitacs. In his talk, “Maximizing the Impact of University-Industry Partnerships,” he emphasized that industry needs to show students “that Canada is the place to be.”

Other presentations included “Life Sciences in Quebec: An Investor’s Point of View,” “Key Business Trends in the Bio-Pharma Industry,” and “Intellectual Property Rights.”

New this year was a poster competition judged by several McGill professors.

“The posters were tremendous,” Dr. Tim Geary, a judge and professor from the parasitology department of McGill, said before presenting the prizes. The winning poster was “Cell State for Neural Progenitor Isolation,” by Sana Rathore. In total, 16 graduate student projects participated in the friendly competition. There were also booths of various sponsors of the event and representatives from companies and hospitals.

The event was well-attended and seemed to spark the interest of students and professional representatives.

“I got an idea of what’s available for students when they’re leaving academia … what’s available after university,” Micaela Das Gupta, a PhD student in neuroscience, said.

The networking session also gave student attendees the opportunity to create contacts in a variety of sectors and with other students.

In the closing comments, Jonathan Madriaga, the Sponsorship Chair from the Executive Committee, expressed the desire to expand the symposium.

“We look to develop BioConnect into a larger event while keeping mutually beneficial relationships,” he said.

Follow us on Twitter @mcgill_tribune

Campus

McGill coders take home silver

Trio of engineers come second in mobile app competition

By Jonny Newburgh Contributor Three McGill students won silver in the second Great Canadian Appathon earlier this month. Resistor5, a team of U4 engineering students, developed the second-best mobile video game in a 48-hour long competition that included over 400 students from across Canada.

Mike Hoffman, Mike Darwish, and Stephane Beniak’s game, titled Ludicrous Archery, beat over 100 teams in the competition. As the name suggests, Ludicrous Archery is an archery game similar to the popular Angry Birds. The game also has a series of power-ups and obstacles that make it more difficult.

“You have some targets on each level, and you have a bow,” Hoffman said. “You have to pull back the arrow and try to hit the target. You aim a bit like in Angry Birds.”

Hoffman said that their team name is an inside joke from their engineering classes. “[Our academic] program is all of 25 people,” Hoffman said, “We all know each other well. No one [else] understands what [Resistor5] means.”

Appathon’s sponsors, XMG

Studio Inc. and the National Post, decided to change the rules of the competition this year. When the competition opened, they announced this year’s installation would have a theme: sports. The new rule was intended to make it harder for contestants who approached the competition prepared with ideas for games beforehand.

For Darwish, working under a theme was one of the major improvements of this year’s competition. Announcing a theme at the start of the competition made it nearly impossible to prepare in advance, he said.

“It feels cool to build something in such a short amount of time,” Darwish said.

The competitions are organized by different universities in each city. In Montreal, the competition is based out of Concordia and l’École Polytechnique de Montreal. Because McGill is not directly involved in the organization of the competition, it’s not advertised on campus. Resistor5 only knew of it because Hoffman and Darwish competed in the first Appathon earlier this year on a team that included a student from Concordia.

Meanwhile, national compe-

titions like the Appathon are “the big buzz right now [for] start-ups and think-tanks,” Josh Redel, U4 engineering and president of the Engineering Undergraduate Society (EUS), said. “But all these big competitions are for mobile apps because that is the big thing.”

A similar, yet significantly smaller, competition is held annually at McGill. The department of electrical, computer, and software engineering (ECSE) organizes the McGill CodeJam in late November.

The competition grants prizes of $1000, $500, and $250.

Beniak noted that competitions are very beneficial to students because they provide an out-of-class dimension to students’ education, providing another way to learn.

“These competitions are great, because in 48 hours you learn a lot,” he said. “More than in many semesters.”

Opinion

On the Record

James Gilman

jgilman@mcgilltribune.com

Repression and defiance in Syria You’d be forgiven for thinking that after eight months of sustained protest against his brutal regime, Syrian president Bashar al-Assad might show a bit of humility. Yet despite the remarkably persistent uprising against his regime and the deepening international isolation of his government, al-Assad continues to offer little besides defiance and a vicious crackdown. Since the protests began in March, the death toll is estimated to be over 3,500; the Arab League recently voted to suspend Syria and has threatened economic sanctions. jbotha@mcgilltribune.com

Oh, Canada?

Johanu Botha

This month’s silver lining In the last few weeks, stalwart European leaders have resigned, the predictions of a possible recession in Canada have been cast, riot police appeared on the McGill campus, a would-be American leader forgot the third point of his own platform, the Syrian regime brutally cracked down on its own people, and occupiers the world over faced showdowns with their cities’ mayors. But meandering around the mayhem, a quieter movement can be found. Initially it was rarely seen, only peeking out now and then to stare at the

Around the World Kaiti O’Shaughnessy

kaitio@mcgilltribune.com

Helicoptering in a bit of student solidarity Everyone and their imaginary friend are writing about the events of this past two weeks. I don’t want to be left out, so I’ll throw in my two cents as well.

Although I wasn’t at the tuition hikes march, I did emerge from the SSMU building to a lot of shouting, confusion, and a helicopter casually helicoptering just above campus

tion activists I talked to described a “culture of fear” that prevented Syrians from speaking out against their government, let alone taking to the streets to protest against it. Given the regime’s history of merciless repression and the brutal police state it imposed on the country, the prospect of mass demonstrations across Syria seemed unlikely.

I was, of course, wrong, along with everyone else who predicted that Syrians would be too afraid or beaten down to rise up. President al-Assad was dead wrong as well, but he responded, not by addressing the sources of people’s frustration, but by violently suppressing the movement and driving some of them to violence, leading the regime to brand all the protestors as “criminals” and “terrorists,” and treat them in kind.

The reality is that people were fed up with the repression, the corruption, and the arrogance of the al-Assad regime. More than that, people are disgusted by the response

to their legitimate demands for a say in how their country is run. What began as a few isolated protests asking for limited reforms and the release of political prisoners quickly turned into a nationwide uprising and demands for the overthrow of al-Assad. A number of people told me that while they initially opposed the protestors, the regime’s vicious response drove them into the opposition camp.

Yet the president and his supporters continue to claim that the demonstrators are puppets of some foreign conspiracy to destabilize Syria and subject the country to foreign domination. This is patently absurd. The idea that any of the opposition activists or protestors I know are part of a western plot against Syria is laughable. To suggest that they are motivated by anything other than a sincere desire to build a better country is insulting, and al-Assad’s refusal to admit this is one reason the uprising is still going.

the pants for too long: prostate cancer. The free flowing of upper hair whiskers is a tangible manifestation of men openly raising awareness of a dangerous disease. This is a noble pursuit. Men’s health, like a moustache, is not something that should be ignored.

Yet the awareness competition is tough; breast cancer awareness has dominated the scene for years.

Men’s health activists had to do something to counter all the heartwarming pink ribbons and, well, the fact that breast sounds so much better than prostate in any slogan. Thus, a couple of lads from down under adopted the now-famous, furry mascot. The Movember charity foundation uses the easiest of awareness techniques: something that can blossom naturally on one’s face.

This does not mean taking part in Movember is all lollipops and roses. Becoming a ‘Mo Bro’ for one whole month is no trivial task,

and growing a moustache can have hazardous consequences. From harbouring long-forgotten pieces of your breakfast to costing you that babysitting job, the ‘stache can

This purpose has been embraced by Canadians. At press time, the Great White North is the leading fundraiser with 227,322 moustaches roaming about, and just under $17 million raised. The closest runner ups are our UK mates across the pond with almost $10 million; Australia comes in a close third, with the Americans currently sitting in fourth, a spot the Irish are eyeing feverishly as they round out the top five.

Movember is only two-thirds over, and you’re bound to see more whiskers whistle by as some of the slower growers start to shine. Thus, if strikes, riots, protests, corporate abuse, or another season of upcoming finals gets you down, make sure to look around for a moustached man (or woman), and know that the thing on their face is there for a good cause.

either you are vehemently against tuition hikes and are some sort of anarcho-leftist hippie-activist type, or, you don’t, and you’re a useless, spineless pawn of the capitalist system. There is very little middle ground.

Yet, despite the internal divisions of our student body, sometimes it seems like we can actually get our act together and listen to one another every once in a while. Or, at the very least, we can start shuffling in that general direction. To me, “We are all McGill” was a good example of an attempt at an inclusive and honest dialogue. While some may find it difficult to form an opinion on tuition hikes, it’s pretty easy to form an opinion on violence on campus. As my mom says, “hurting people is never okay, not even when

you are really angry.” And not even when you think they are wrong or stupid.

The events of Nov. 10 sucked.

A lot of people were harmed by the police, and others claim that students hurt police. Either way, there is no room on our campus for violence. Ever. It’s irrelevant whether or not I agree with the reasons for a protest; I believe strongly in the right of my fellow students to voice their opinions peacefully on campus. I agree with the clichéd chants: “This is what democracy looks like.”

“We are all McGill” was an opportunity for students to talk about their experiences on Nov. 10, and provided other students space to support those who had been harmed in the original protest. “We are all

After another weekend of violence, al-Assad gave an interview to the Sunday Times in which he reasserted his claim that the government is only targeting “armed gangs” and terrorists, and that what’s happening in Syria is part of some sort of foreign conspiracy. Vowing that “Syria will not bow down” to the pressure, the president made it clear the regime is unlikely to change course.

The fact that the vast majority of those killed were unarmed demonstrators gunned down during peaceful protests, or that so many Syrians continue to take to the streets to demand a genuine voice in the political process, doesn’t seem to matter to him.

Al-Assad’s arrogant tone and dismissive attitude toward those who oppose him­—and toward the very idea that there could be legitimate grievances against his regime—reminded me of another interview he gave, to the Wall Street Journal back on Jan. 31. Al-Assad told the Journal that the uprisings of

the “Arab Spring” wouldn’t spread to his country, as Syria was “stable” because the regime was “closely linked to the beliefs of the people.”

crazy world. Then it took a chance, showing more of itself, letting the crazy world stare right back. Finally, halfway through its one month lifespan, Movember jumped out and unleashed itself. Between protests, polarized opinions, and midterms that never seem to stop coming, the moustache has joined our campus and our country to be a momentary witness to it all.

The ‘stache, during all months except this one, has no necessary leanings. It can be found neatly trimmed on a barking sergeantmajor, or flowing floppily from a poet that rejects all use of force. It can be monopolized by authoritarian dictators, or by Tom Selleck in Magnum PI. It can be the very essence of sex appeal, or the very definition of creepiness. But in November, the ‘stache swings only one way: towards charity. For one month it embraces an issue that has been kept silent, and zipped up in that night. Frightening, to be sure.

Thursday, Nov. 10 was undoubtedly one of the most eventful days on campus. However, Monday’s “We are all McGill” event was probably a close second.

Campus has been quite divided lately. McGill is not usually known as the friendliest of university settings; just try walking around the Arts Building in sweatpants if you disagree. But this semester has presented the student body with a number of challenges. The MUNACA strike has been extremely divisive. Either you support MUNACA workers in their strike and are therefore a left-wing revolutionary, or you don’t support them and are some sort of right-wing nutcase with less than an ounce of empathy in your self-entitled body. Similarly,

“Opposition activists I talked to described a ‘culture of fear’ that prevented Syrians from speaking out against their government.”

I remember reading this interview in Damascus, where I spent the past year studying abroad (I left Syria on June 17), and thinking that the president was probably right; Syria wouldn’t experience an uprising the way Tunisia and Egypt had. Opposi-

“Men’s health, like a moustache, is not something that should be ignored.” adversely affect your day-to-day routine. And if you make it halfway through, it will be all that your non-stached friends will want to talk about, point at, and sometimes stroke. During such times it is important to remember the higher purpose of your moustache.

McGill” was also an opportunity for us to show our support for students’ right to protest peacefully on campus and to be safe while doing so. There were problems with the event; perhaps some felt that it remained too focused on tuition, or wasn’t focused enough. Everyone’s a critic. That doesn’t change the importance of this event as a good first step towards clearing the air.

“We are all McGill” can also be viewed as a first step toward recreating our campus community. This event demonstrated that peaceful discussion with many, many people is possible and that solidarity is a powerful tool. We don’t have to agree with each other, but we do need to respect each other’s right to voice opinions and be safe while doing so.

Tribune

7

The McGill

Editorial

www.mcgilltribune.com

Editor-in-Chief Shannon Kimball editor@mcgilltribune.com Managing Editors Sam Hunter shunter@mcgilltribune.com Kyla Mandel kmandel@mcgilltribune.com Production Manager Iain Macdonald imacdonald@mcgilltribune.com News Editors Anand Bery, Elisa Muyl, and Carolina Millán Ronchetti news@mcgilltribune.com Opinion Editor Richard Martyn-Hemphill opinion@mcgilltribune.com Features Editor Kat Sieniuc features@mcgilltribune.com Arts & Entertainment Editors Ryan Taylor and Nick Petrillo arts@mcgilltribune.com Sports Editors Adam Sadinsky and Steven Lampert sports@mcgilltribune.com Photo Editors Ryan Reisert and Sam Reynolds photo@mcgilltribune.com Senior Design Editor Kathleen Jolly kjolly@mcgilltribune.com Design Editor Susanne Wang design@mcgilltribune.com Online Editor Victor Temprano online@mcgilltribune.com Copy Editor Marri Lynn Knadle copy@mcgilltribune.com Advertising Manager Corina Sferdenschi cpm@ssmu.mcgill.ca

Queen’s U. was right to stamp out profanity Queen’s University made a strong statement last Thursday. The university and its student society, the Alma Mater Society (AMS), jointly suspended the century-old Queen’s Bands from performances for the remainder of the semester after the administration discovered that the band had distributed offensive material to its members. Queen’s vice provost was reluctant to repeat much of the material in the pamphlets to the public. According to the Vancouver Sun, band members were given pamphlets with text including phrases such as “I will rape you with a lamp,” and “mouth raping your little sister since 1905.” A photo in the National Post depicts female Bands members’ buttocks used as drums by male performers during a show.

The Queen’s Bands are an iconic representation of the university,

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university has ordered band members to destroy all of the offensive material. But this material is just a fragment of a problem that is much more widespread. The material highlights a larger, looming subculture in which such chauvinist camaraderie appears to have become acceptable, even expected. Such a perception ought to be discouraged, and the university’s condemnation of this material is an effective way to send out that message.

Suspending the entire band may seem like a harsh reaction, particularly if only a few members were involved in the material’s invention and distribution. However, this action sends a signal that reaches far beyond the band members. By acting decisively, the perpetuation of a culture of permissiveness comes to a screeching halt.

From Roland S. Nassim, on behalf of the 2011-2012 PGSS Executive Team

TPS Board of Directors

Susan Aberman, Liya Adessky, Djénane Andre, Caroline Baril, Johanu Botha, Laura D’Angelo, Trevor Drummond, Jacqui Galbraith, Hannah George, James Gilman, Anny Katycheva, Chris Liu, Jimmy Lou, Deidre McCabe, Haruki Nakagawa, Roland Nassim, Jonny Newburgh, Kaiti O’Shaughnessy, Reid Robinson, Liisa Stephenson, Akiva Toren, Katherine Wong, Lisa Yang

type of club culture needn’t be universally taboo, but these initiations often include some level of humiliation and even oppression. Friendly rites of passage, carried out without due consideration, can easily cross the line from bawdy and rowdy, to offensive and marginalizing. No student should feel pressured to condone offensive material or endure its emotional impact in order to be a part of a campus group. The Queen’s Bands are an old, symbolic institution, and so some members may have felt pressured to keep the offensive material under the administration’s radar. However, the fact that this behaviour became routine proceedings is worrying on many levels.

The Tribune praises Queen’s decision to not only suspend the band, but also to require members to partake in human rights training. The

An open letter to Principal Munroe-Blum

Publisher Chad Ronalds

James Gilman (Chair): chair@mcgilltribune.com Johanu Botha, Kathleen Jolly, Shannon Kimball, Iain Macdonald, Alex Middleton, Zach Newburgh

and were scheduled to appear in Toronto’s Santa Claus parade and other public holiday events. The Bands’ public apology was meek at best, and did little more than take responsibility for their actions.

Such flagrant misogyny is unacceptable, and the Tribune applauds the university’s swift action to suspend the band. This response demonstrates that such demeaning material is not permissible. The sensitive nature of these topics can preclude public discussion, and some may think that this behaviour is part of a harmless party subculture in some university settings. But sometimes public scrutiny is necessary to effect change.

All students are entitled to participate in university activities. Initiation rites and unruly behavior are common in a university setting. This

Dear Principal Munroe-Blum, On behalf of more than 8,000 graduate students and postdoctoral fellows, I would like to express the concerns that were raised since the beginning of the MUNACA strike on Sept. 1, 2011.

It is certainly true that it is not “business as usual” at the university. Our members are experiencing this unfortunate fact firsthand. This strike has made the importance of the work that MUNACA members perform for our community abundantly clear. The university cannot go on without their contribution, and hence we call on your administration to be present at the negotiating table with that reality in mind.

Our faculty, staff, and students are becoming increasingly over-

whelmed and exhausted, and this simply can’t go on for much longer.

Our work, in teaching and research, is being gravely affected by the strike and we feel that McGill will be paying a much higher price if this strike continues. Here are some examples: Our teaching assistant members have reported significant deterioration in the quality of teaching and learning, especially in courses that depend on MUNACA members for preparation (mainly lab courses); Our research has been delayed and negatively affected by the delays in processing of research materials orders and deliveries; Our supervision time and quality has decreased due to the absence of supervisors who are tending to coursework usually handled by MU-

NACA members; Our ability to attract the best students and researchers is being negatively impacted by delays in processing applications and admissions; Our grant and fellowship applications have been adversely affected by the lack of support in preparing, filling, and processing of these applications; Our thesis deadlines are not always being met due to administrative delays which is forcing those students to stay in their programs for additional sessions, costly both in financial terms, and career advancement opportunities.

And the list goes on.

It is true that some contingency plans are in place; however, this is not happening across the university,

especially in the smaller departments and units. In any case, no contingency plan can indefinitely replace so many missing pillars of our community. The only plan that will work universally is having MUNACA members back and happy at their jobs, and this requires good faith negotiations and real concessions to be made in order to move past impasses.

As a result of this extended struggle, our community will need time to heal. That healing needs to begin now.

Sincerely, On behalf of the 2011-2012 Executive Team, Roland S. Nassim, President

The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Société de Publication de la Tribune, a student society of McGill University. The content of this publication is the sole responsibility of The McGill Tribune and the Société de Publication de la Tribune. and does not necessarily represent the views of McGill University. Letters to the editor may be sent to editor@mcgilltribune.com and must include

We are all McGill columnists.

the contributor’s name, program and year and contact information. Letters should be kept under 300 words and submitted only to the Tribune. Submissions judged by the Tribune Publication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

To begin yours, send a CV, letter of intent, and three writing samples to editor@mcgilltribune.com by Dec. 15.

8

Curiosity Delivers. www.mcgilltribune.com

We, too, are all McGill Letter from staff members of the Offices of the Principal and Provost Susan Aberman, Liisa Stephenson, Caroline Baril, Deidre McCabe, Laura D’Angelo, Katherine Wong, Djénane Andre We are seven staff members who were working in the fifth floor offices of the James Administration Building on Thursday, Nov. 10 when 14 protesters broke in and forcibly occupied our workspaces.

We would like to add our voices and experiences as staff members to the public record in order to provide a fuller picture of what happened on that day.

We would also like to make it known that we take issue with the account presented in the letter authored by the 14 occupiers of our offices, published in the McGill Daily on Nov. 13.

This was not a peaceful protest; this was trespassing, intimidation, and the restriction of our freedom.

In the student media and on

the banner hung by protesters from a window in our office, this event has been referred to as “Occupons McGill.” The fact that the aggressive occupation of our work spaces is being associated with a peaceful international movement does not sit well with us.

We are not oil barons or Wall Street bankers. We do our jobs because we believe in McGill and because we value higher education.

We work to support the McGill community—students, faculty, and administration—and we are proud to do so.

The occupiers of our offices did not act like members of the McGill community as we know it.

They were not peaceful. They seized and blocked the entry and exit

of the doors leading to our common reception area and then overpowered a staff member to break through a locked door leading into the principal’s and provost’s private offices.

They stormed into our offices and attempted to use furniture to blockade themselves inside spaces containing confidential documents.

They refused to identify themselves, and several were hooded and had masked their faces with bandanas.

They refused to discuss their concerns or explain the purpose of their occupation when asked. They forced their way past another staff member and into the principal’s private office. When security arrived and asked them to leave that office, some of them refused.

They shouted insults and profanity at security staff, including calling them “[expletive] pigs.”

We were threatened and intimidated on the night of Nov. 10 in the very spaces we thought were safe.

When security attempted to escort us out of the building, we were prevented from leaving by a large group of protesters who had surrounded our building and were blocking the exits. As we watched the clash of protesters and police from the windows of our offices, we understood how many of the non-violent protesters and bystanders outside must have felt. The rage and unreason of the few had hijacked a day of wellplanned protests. The safety of those inside and outside the James Building was endangered by the actions of

University of Ottawa

Graduate Studies

uOTTAWA EVENING in Montreal

November 30, 2011 Delta Hotel (President-Kennedy Ave.) 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Please RSVP: www.discoveruOttawa.ca/montrealevening

»

the few. One might even call them the one per cent.

The spaces that were forcibly occupied on Nov. 10 are the spaces in which we do our work every day.

Even though the protesters may not have stopped to consider us, we, too, are McGill.

The 14 individuals who occupied our offices have published accounts of their so-called heroism.

They did not, however, sign their names to their account.

We, too, are McGill, and by signing our names to this letter, we hope to remind them of what that means.

(Editor’s note: a version of this letter was published in the Nov. 21, 2011 edition of the McGill Daily.)

A&E

IN PhoTos

Clockwise from top left: Passwords, Buddy McNeil & the Magic Mirrors, The Midway State, Hollerado, Random Recipe, Passwords, and Half Moon Run. (Sam Reynolds, Ryan Reisert, and Anna Katycheva / McGill Tribune)

The hashtag movement

The hashtag movement

#awesome Home Profile Find People Settings Help Sign out

Introducing the hashtag

By Carolina Millán Ronchetti Location Montreal, QC Web www.mcgilltribune.com

3:30 PM Nov 22nd from web

If the words attached to the pound sign seem like codespeak, that’s because they are.

3:30 PM Nov 22nd from web They’re called hashtags, and they’re a phenomenon that started on Twitter and are now appearing all over the Internet (and even outside, with the appearance of ‘air hashtag’ hand-signs). Before explaining what hashtags are, let’s examine the social media that started it all.

Twitter was launched in July 2006, and now, five years later, there are over two million new tweets per day, generated by 300 million users (and counting) – that’s roughly the population of the United States. According to a survey by comScore, a US-based internet marketing firm, 13.5 per cent of the Canadian population uses Twitter, almost 2 percent more than in the US. What is it about Twitter that makes it so special? For some people, it’s the brevity of messages.

For others, it’s how easy it is to follow celebrities, companies, or influential people that are otherwise aloof. Suddenly, an “@” sign is all it takes to communicate with Bill Gates, Justin Bieber, or to provide personal insight to a newspaper. In fact, according to a Pew Internet study released Nov. 15, 11 per cent of Twitter users say reading comments by politicians, celebrities, or athletes is a major reason they use social networks.

In comparison, only four per cent of people who use social media outside of Twitter are interested in following celebrities.

Now that we know what Twitter is all about, we’re ready to look at the hashtag phenomenon and its implications.

Officially, hashtags are placed in front of a word (#example) and are used to create a link that enables users to search for all the posts that have used that hashtag. If you wanted to know what people are saying about #nov10 or #tarsands, all it takes is a simple search of the

hashtag to get access to any tweet about that topic. If a hashtag is used by enough people, the topic starts “trending” and appears on Twitter’s front page, giving the topic even more visibility.

Hashtags have evolved in two different directions. The first is in shaping social movements and shaping online communication.

Hashtags can serve to advance, publicize, and share information in real time, which has proved useful in organizing mass movements, including the uprisings of the Arab Spring and the #occupy movement.

Even #nov10 trended in Montreal, linking to an array of information— from brief accounts by those caught in the confusion outside of the James Admin building, to those providing commentary on the protest against tuition hikes. Later, with the appearance of media coverage, links to other sources tagged #nov10 made it easy for anyone to access articles, photos, and footage of the events of the day.

Linking information with hashtags is easy, leading many news organizations to use them to publicize their content. According to a Nov. 14 study by the Pew Research Center on how media outlets use Twitter, 93 per cent of tweets link to the organization’s own site. But it can also entirely change the way we perceive news: individual journalists often re-tweet other media sources and average citizens’ tweets linked under a hashtag to promote discussion and give a snapshot of what is happening, as seen by eyewitnesses. One such journalist is Andy Carvin (@acarvin), from NPR, who last weekend retweeted hundreds of tweets on the violence in #tahrir square, illustrating the violence as seen by those involved and linking to people’s pictures and videos taken by phones, all in real time. Closer to home, journalists

and activists are using hashtags like #occupy and #OWS to link, organize and provide commentary on the Occupy Wall Street movement and many other occupy movements in North America.

But hashtags are also used “to telegraph a joke,” as described by professor of communications Jonathan Sterne. They often add humour or context to a post by taking advantage of irony to express one’s internal monologue. With hashtags, users can express thoughts in the same way people often mutter things under their breath—the word with the hashtag is either what you tell yourself, or a word that helps you categorize your problems and experiences. A popular tag for many Mcgill tweeters is #mcgillproblems.

Hashtags allow users to categorize their musings and problems into categories, sometimes serious but most often funny. Sam Donald, U1 environment studies and Twitter user, explained his relationship with hashtags.

“I find hashtags have become more of a universal way to make a commentary on something,” he said. “Sometimes I consider hashtags as the proverbial voice in my head talking back at me, almost like a conscience (‘Just realized I’m at the grocery store in socks and sandals, #areyoukiddingme?’)”

“Because [hashtags are] embedded in a short message with real language, [they] start exhibiting other characteristics of natural language ... people start playing with it and manipulating it,” Jacob Eisenstein, a postdoctoral fellow at Carnegie Mellon University in computational linguistics told the New York Times. “[They’re like] a sort of meta-commentary, where you’ll write a message and maybe you don’t really believe it, and what you really think is in the hashtag.”

#awesome

Home Profile Find People Settings Help Sign out

McGillProblems McGill Problems It’s like the Bookstore knows the ONE thing I’m looking for and purposely UNDER-STOCKS IT. #cryingfromdesperation#McGill Problems nytjim Jim Roberts 1,000 times hotter than a jalapeño. RT @OccupySaltLake: How Bad Is Pepper Spray? t.co/aADY6gMK via @motherjones #OWS

Updates

MUNACAStrike MUNACA Both sides called back to the negotiation table this Friday: t.co/Ri9reIcv

EgyptEagle Salah Anwar Chants: From cairo to wallstreet the people’s voices can’t be beat #ows #Tahrir

justinbieber Justin Bieber I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT

U3Problems U3 Problems check fb, check twitter, check gawker, check perez, chek email, check webct, check bbcnews, go 2 bathroom, read 1 pg of coursepack, repeat.

theSSMU SSMU If you are a student and you need anything, come to the SSMU office now. Shatner building, turn right in the lobby.

Did you know...

“At any moment, Justin Bieber uses 3% of our infrastructure.

Racks of servers are dedicated to him.”

- Twitter employee

(Gizmodo.com)

mcgill_tribune The McGill Tribune #nov10 protest turns violent @McGillU milton gates, students are tear-gased and peppersprayed by police FiWoProblems First World Problems Rebecca black’s new song is out and i’m in the library without headphones #firstworldproblems

By Carolina Millán Ronchetti Location Montreal Web www.mcgilltribune.com

Updates

interesting

hashtags #thingswedoduringexams #tahrir #nov10 #OWS #mcgillproblems #vote #tarsands #climate #KeystoneXL #NoKXL #FirstNations #Movember #Gaddafi #strike #Eurozone #swag #highofflife #breaking news #antibullyingweek #TEDxMcGill #GuyCode #Studentlife

A&E Theatre

The Marriage of Bette and Boo might end ugly Some strong performances can’t save disjointed script

By Akiva Toren Contributor Dark comedy is a perplexing concept. Though initially a contradiction in terms, most people understand the subtlety involved in such a label. The work may make upsetting issues “lighter”; perhaps, conversely, it may convey typical subjects of comedy in acidic, disturbing ways.

In both of these interpretations, there’s a little guilt attached to our laughter, and a bit of awkwardness about the comedy. Some things just shouldn’t be funny, and yet they are.

Christopher Durang’s The Marriage of Bette and Boo, through the nuances of the script, makes us feel that uneasiness with our laughter.

But, despite commendable efforts, the Players’ Theatre production, directed by Jordana Deutsch and Benjamin Sher, often elicits unintended discomfort from the audience by missing those nuances.

The play, narrated by Matt (Aaron Neishlos), tells the story of his two unfortunate parents, Bette (Kara Rosen) and Boo (James Kelly), and their immediate families. Made up of roughly 33 quick scenes in no particular chronological order, it recounts various episodes of their lives from their wedding day to death, chronicling tragic yet humorously blithe incidents of alcoholism, verbal abuse, spousal tension, mindless Catholic devotion, and even five stillbirths.

With these scenes coming in

The ensemble cast of The Marriage of Bette and Boo do their best with a difficult script. (Emily Doyle) quick succession, interrupted periodically by Matt’s intellectual monologues, the play gets confusing, and sometimes it’s hard to see where it’s going—or where it’s coming from. That is often the point; as these various scenes accumulate, one appreciates a general sense of dysfunction in Matt’s family that somehow transcends time and place. Matt describes his family quite succinctly: “Meaning well isn’t enough.” Every single one of his family members has a quirk, a fundamental flaw that is incompatible with everyone else. Whether it’s from an altercation between his nervously devout Catholic aunt Emily (Hannah Siden) and cynical

aunt Joan, or his alcoholic grandfather Karl (Caleb Harrison) treating his wife worse than he would a bartender at last call, one can only echo Matt’s defeated chuckle.

Because of the mishmash of scenes, the direction of the play is hard to place. While the first and last scenes frame the play in a classic dramatic fashion, what happens in the middle seems like a maze.

Unfortunately, this production lacks a concrete development to help assuage the confusion. After an hour, the play quickly loses steam.

Once one understands the dysfunction, the quirks, and flaws of Matt’s family, and the despondent nature of his parents halfway through the

play, it doesn’t have anywhere to go. The script is written flatly. Since the scenes are jumbled, it’s up to an interesting interpretive production to bring nuanced shape to the “story.”

The characters, though intriguingly despicable, are no longer interesting after an hour. One court scene, for example, draws out a joke of an incomprehensible lawyer to awkward lengths; Bette’s hysteria loses intrigue; Boo’s flat acting fails to warrant sympathy.

Many of the actors also seem like they were talking at, rather than with, each other. Though this is sometimes necessary to convey the miscommunication between family members, the characters nonethe-

less recite some of their lines in a vacuum that obscures genuine conversation.

Furthermore, due to the number of scenes, quick transitions are absolutely necessary. Though this was done with relative ease, due to the space and limited resources, watching characters set up scenes for others was distracting. With the flow of the play occasionally interrupted by these awkward transitions, the lack of shape seemed even more apparent.

That said, some of the actors made the play more enjoyable. Aunt Emily’s nervousness and perpetual guilt is tangible through her wide eyes and nervous stuttering. Taylor Lowery as Grandma Soot (whose name’s origin is hidden in comedic obscurity) was hilariously perfect.

Max Lanocha as the oddly sardonic Father Donally and callous doctor brought genuine laughter to every scene of his (I’ve never seen such a fine impression of bacon).

This play, though a very interesting work, is a difficult one to execute. Despite laudable efforts, it requires nuanced efficiency that is hard to find in this production.

The Marriage of Bette and Boo runs from Nov. 23-27 at Players Theatre. Tickets are $6.

Film

With The Artist, silence is golden

Black and white silent film perfectly illustrates the Golden Era of Hollywood

By Chris Liu Contributor The Artist is cinema for cinephiles. Set at the dawn of the Golden Age of Hollywood, it’s at once a post-mortem and celebration of the silent genre. Director Michel Hazanavicius crafts a rich, beautiful world using minimalist cinematic strokes by today’s standards, and in his effort takes the viewer through the rabbit-hole to where films were born.

Right from the first title card— “1927”—and the iris-style opening shot, the audience is made aware of The Artist’s peculiarities. Made entirely in black and white, with nearly zero dialogue, the film defies many of what are regarded by today’s movie-goers as film conventions. In doing so, The Artist benefits. Much literature exists on the heightening of remaining senses when one is

lost, such as richer tastes granted by dining in the dark; in much the same way, Hazanavicius’ resurrection of the silent film is a reminder of the vigour with which occasionally-neglected elements such as score can evoke emotions.

The titular character is George Valentin (in a Cannes best actorwinning turn by Jean Dujardin), a wildly charismatic and successful star of silent films. By fate he encounters a budding actress, Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), and imparts some timely advice. The film then chronicles Miller’s subsequent ascent to stardom and Valentin’s parallel fall from fortune as a result of the invention of “talkies.” It’s the story of Singin’ In the Rain, kicked under the carpet.

Plot aside, by replicating the best of silent films within his own, Hazanavicius inspires a wondrous nostalgia for a genre that is, admit-

tedly, not without advantages over modern Hollywood. These were the days when the climax was found in the tension of soaring strings, not CGI-enhanced characters arcing through the air in a slow-mo held far too long. Composer Ludovic Bource also deserves accolades. Hazanavicius also admits to being drawn to the genre for its emphasis on visuals; he should be content with Guillaume Schiffman’s cinematography, which served his script well.

Dujardin was wonderful as Valentin, and his skill is shown through the kid-at-heart sympathy he invokes in the audience being carried through to the very end of the (rather zealous) self-destructive streak demanded by the script. Bejo’s Miller is radiant, and though not comparable to Dujardin, appeared well-fitted to the melodrama.

After nose-diving through significant layers of misery, the plot

The Artist proves that some things are better left unsaid. (eraziel.com) manages to avert a fiery crash with a hard upward pull right at the end.

However, its predictability doesn’t lessen its impact. The denouement is a nice refrain of an all’s well that ends well mentality—except of

course, the silent genre is still dead.

I may never see a newly-made silent film in my lifetime. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean Hazanavicius’ 100 minutes of Lazarus was anything but magical.

13

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Film

Harold and Kumar, rehashed

Album Reviews

Green Christmas flick not highly memorable

By Sam Hunter Managing Editor On the all-time stoner comedy list, A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas doesn’t sniff any of the classics—Up In Smoke and Half Baked are safe—nor does it approach the charm of its White Castle predecessor; however, no one’s going to argue that this movie isn’t a good time. And, by pulling the trick that so many marginally enjoyable movies have lately—appearing in 3D—it’s probably worth going to the theatre to watch.

This movie opens six years after the events of Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. In the interim, Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) have grown apart and found new best friends. The differences in their lifestyles and personalities have grown too: Harold has a large house, while Kumar lives in a tiny, squalid apartment; Harold is more uptight than ever, whereas Kumar has let himself go almost completely to seed. The two are reunited when Harold’s fatherin-law’s Christmas tree burns down

and they go on a quest to replace it.

The plot is weak, but the Harold and Kumar series has never been about plot, or even pot for that matter. It’s about the incredible chemistry and general likeability of the two stars, Cho and Penn. Everything else is just window dressing. Unfortunately, the film forgets this, as the two don’t share enough screen time.

Given the high-profile names in the supporting cast, giving side characters opportunity to develop makes sense on paper, but not in practice.

Amir Blumenfeld of CollegeHumor’s Prank War fame does his usual shtick (if you liked him on CollegeHumor, you’ll like him here, and the opposite) as Kumar’s nerdy, internet-romancing, pot-smoking replacement best friend. Thomas Lennon fills the same void for Harold, and his anal-retentive routine is at times funny, at others grating.

The presence of these two new characters, however, represents my biggest problem with the script.

The most unbelievable part of the story wasn’t when Harold shot Santa, nor was it when a druggedup baby crawled on the ceiling—it

was when I was informed, at the beginning of the film, that Harold and Kumar weren’t friends anymore. It was ludicrous. The level of friendly chemistry they’ve displayed over the years sets the industry standard in the same way Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams’ romantic chemistry in The Notebook does.

Luckily, they’re reunited pretty quickly, but the audience is forced to wait longer for the return of Neil Patrick Harris, who comes in on a song and dance number, showcasing his musical theatre talents before making his usual raunchy contributions to the film. If he doesn’t steal his scenes quite as adroitly as he did in White Castle, that’s probably only because we’ve seen this act more than a few times now, and there aren’t too many places left to go with it.

A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas is exactly what you would expect. It’s not great, but it’s fun, and just as forgettable as an afternoon spent smoking pot.

The Harold and Kumar that stole Christmas. (filmofilia.com)

www.mcgilltribune.com Could Be Good

P[h]assion Presents: Battle of the Bands Wednesday, Nov. 23, 9:00 p.m.

Foufounes Electriques 87 St. Catherine East

NOVEMBER 22-28

This battle of the bands features a heap of local Montreal talent coming together for a good cause. All proceeds will be donated to AIDS Community Care Montreal to promote HIV/AIDS awareness. Auditions for the P[h] assion fashion show in March will also take place later in the evening. $8 advance, $10 at the door.

Drake: Take Care Drake is living proof that not every rapper has to resort to insipid, vapid rhymes about dollar bills and girls in order to still talk about dollar bills and girls. Returning strong with his second studio album Take Care, Drake continues to rely on his articulate, straightforward lyrics and his smooth, R&B-infused melodies to impress his ever-growing fan base. As he alternates between breathy vocals and self-assured rap verses, Drake makes sure to stay well within his previously defined lines as an artist, albeit a very versatile one.

Standout tracks include his collaboration with Rihanna on “Take Care,” in which their chemistry is nothing if not electric, and the single “Headlines,” a fast-paced track that is reminiscent of his past hit “Over.” Drake notably features his protégé The Weeknd on “Crew Love” in an offbeat tribute to his friends. There are perhaps too many other artists on the album, including Nicki Minaj, Stevie Wonder, Rick Ross, André 3000, and Lil Wayne. Of those, Stevie Wonder offers the most novel input on “Doing it Wrong,” by unexpectedly using only his harmonica.

The overall mood of the album is noticeably subdued this time around, and is more likely to be background music than on full volume at parties, but Drake doesn’t sacrifice verses or beats in the name of brooding reflection. All this to say, the Canadian rap phenomenon isn’t particularly innovative on this album, but he’s definitely delivering the goods in a well-meaning package of blunt truths about the highs and lows of fame.

Goat Rodeo Sessions You recognize success in mixing genres when connoisseurs on either side think the music is beyond their field. My friend, a venerable bluegrass expert, recommended Goat Rodeo Sessions to me, saying he failed to understand the classical nuances. After I listened to this album, I wanted to give it back, lamenting my disappointingly insufficient comprehension of bluegrass. It was then that I realized how perfect this album really is.

In classical music, one must think big; of larger musical forms, key changes, and interplay of voices. In bluegrass, one has to think more humbly of melodies, rhythms, and smaller arrangements. Yo-Yo Ma, Edgar Meyer, Stuart Duncan, Chris Thile, and Aoife O’Donovan (I mention them individually because they’re all phenomenal) bring together a brilliant balance between these two methods. The first track, “Attaboy,” sucks you in with its dancing rhythms. “No One But You,” with O’Donovan’s beautiful voice, is humble and poignant.

“13:8” jumps from dance-like rhythms to slow, heart-wrenching dissonances. The finale, “Goat Rodeo,” exploits every mechanism in both genres. At some point the cello and fiddle are in Bach-esque canon in bluegrass rhythm. At another, the banjo is strutting in the background as the strings build agonizingly beautiful Wagnerian chords.

Every track in this album is different. The crossover allows for vast possibilities, and they exploit them to every emotional end. My apologies in advance if you end up half as addicted to this album as I am.

—Liya Adessky

—Akiva Toren

Stori Ya Wednesdays-Sundays until Dec. 4, 8:00 p.m.

MAI 3680 Jeanne-Mance

Stori Ya is a one-woman play that tells the story of Maria (Warona Setshwaelo), an AfricanCanadian hosting a final dinner before her home is taken away.

With the audience as her “dinner guests” she recounts tales from her life and journey from Tanzania to Canada. $20 for students.

Student Living seasonal

Why I started celebrating Christmas in November The holiday so nice you should celebrate it twice

By Sam Hunter Managing Editor I hate people who celebrate Christmas too early. I would usually hesitate to use such a strong word in such a mild context, but no other adjective is strong enough to express my loathing. Christmas is the crown jewel in the holiday calendar and it shouldn’t be reduced and diluted by tinny speakers playing “Little Drummer Boy” on a loop or tinsel artfully scattered in storefront windows … in November.

But there’s one exception, one event so magical that I’m able to exclude it from the other utterly premature reminders of Christmas that fill me with such bile—Christmas in November.

Christmas in November (CiN), as the name so clearly implies, is celebrated each November. The inaugural CiN was held on Nov. 25 at Solin years ago. Fuelled by a visiting cousin with a credit card and a zest for both drinks and Christmas lights, the event went from humble beginnings to its humble current condition—dinner and a party, with plenty of Christmas decorations, no regard for the significance of the occasion, and the best in holiday food and drink. It’s a non-denominational, non-exclusively Christian Christmas, without the stress of buy-

Christmas in November: all the fun, none of the drama. (pacificahistory.org) ing presents for family, or the stress of family in general. For the many,

many McGill students here who aren’t from Montreal, it’s an oppor-

tunity to share your Christmas cheer with your school friends.

But first and foremost, it’s an opportunity to deck your apartment’s halls in holly, garnish your potted plants with Christmas tree lights, dress up in your finest Christmas sweater-wear, and stuff yourself with food and drink.

CiN is a fairly fluid concept, so for me this year it fell on Saturday the 19th. To give you an idea of the possibilities, we do things potluck style with the host cooking a turkey (or vegetarian alternative).

This year’s meal consisted of turkey, gravy, purple cabbage, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie, with some homemade cider and a vat of 70-proof eggnog. Again, these aren’t rules to follow, but more an idea of the delicious things you can add to your own Christmases in November.

My food and drink listings alone should be reason enough to add this event to your calendar but if not, remember: it’s the Christmas lights, the Christmas food, the Christmas booziness, without the Christmas family drama, the Christmas shopper-packed malls, or the bitterly cold Montreal weather.

So this year or next, pick a weekend in November, gather up the people who make up your family away from home, and celebrate Christmas an extra time.

FOOD

A student’s endless craving for authentic Mexican food Recounting the woes of life without true ethnic cuisine

By Reid Robinson Contributor There are certain things in my life that I have learned to live without. While spending a summer behind the great firewall of China in Beijing, I did not have access to Facebook for two months. During my summer in Bangladesh, I had to acclimate to 34°C weather and 80 per cent humidity without the help of air conditioning or a reliable fan.

It took many nights of waking up covered in sweat and bugs before I adjusted to it.

Yet, I have no greater yearning than my constant craving for Hispanic food, more specifically, Mexican food. Those of you have ventured south of the border know what I’m talking about. It’s not found in places with sombreros hanging on brightly coloured walls, but in inconspicuous stores and inexpensive food trucks on the side of the road.

Oddly enough, the latter are still not allowed in Montreal.

I was born and raised in the suburbs outside of New York and grew up with a mother that practiced immigration law and an El Salvadorian housekeeper. Opening the fridge to piles of tamales and fresh pupusas was nothing out of the ordinary. Otherwise, I might never have known how good Carnitas taste wrapped in a 12” tortilla with cheese and beans. Mole sauce was something I never thought too much about, but was something I always enjoyed.

Unfortunately, as is the case far too often in life, I didn’t know what I had until it suddenly disappeared.

I entered university as that typical cheery boy, enjoying Quebec’s beautifully low drinking age. However, after frosh ended and classes really started, I had this craving that could no longer be satisfied by poutine and crepes. I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me. Then one night, the Douglas cafeteria served turkey “burritos.” That’s when I realized it had been over a month since

I had any Hispanic food.

The next few weeks, I spent many hours on Yelp, Urbanspoon, and every other website Google led me to, trying in vain to find some authentic spicy Mexican food. I quickly found out that Burritoville, Carlos & Pepes, and 3 Amigos were merely impostors. I found a few places: a bodega style eatery on St. Laurent that makes pretty nice tacos al pastor and another place on Jean-Talon that serves delicious nachos, but they just weren’t the same. They were all missing the real kick of flavour and spice that I had been so accustomed to. It seemed as if Montreal had banned real spicy food just for laughs.

After three years in Montreal, I’m still keeping my hopes up.

Someone tells me of this new place on Beaubien, or a blog points me to some small store in Mile End and I go. I always go. I still have faith that one day I’ll find the place that makes my mouth sing like a mariachi band.

Mexican food is hard to come by in Canada. (thomonthenet.com)

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

seasonal

Holiday spirit in the city A review of Montreal’s Yuletide attractions

By Jacqui Galbraith Contributor It’s getting to be that time of year again—when midterms are fading from memory and finals are just far enough away that panic mode hasn’t quite set in yet. The time of year when the snow begins to fall and the Canada Goose jackets come out. The time of year when Montreal lights up (literally) with holiday spirit, regardless of the American students insisting that Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet. It’s never too early to start celebrating the holidays, especially in a diverse place like Montreal. The city has a wide variety of attractions to fit any interest—from Christmas sing-alongs to fireworks in the Old Port—so that anyone looking for a little extra cheer before exams will not have to look far.

Few things invoke feelings of coziness as much as bright, colourful lights against a pitch black sky, which is something Montreal has in spades throughout the holidays. If you need a little break from studying, take a stroll down McGill College and take in all the lit-up trees and wreaths along the sidewalk. The Christmas tree at Place-Ville Marie perfectly tops off the whole scene, and a holiday-flavoured coffee from Second Cup thrown in makes for an awesome start to the season. Another wonderful winter attraction Montreal has to offer is its skating rinks.

Popular rinks such as Beaver Lake on Mont Royal or Bonsecours Basin in the Old Port offer outdoor fun for skaters of any level. Whether you’re going to show off your moves, or are just stepping onto the ice for the first time, the amplified music and good company guarantee a fun afternoon.

It’s hard to get through December without shopping, but Montreal has some fantastic craft markets to peruse if the Eaton Centre isn’t your thing, though a photo with Santa is a great way to re-live your childhood. The Christmas Craft Fair presented by Pam Davy at St. Phillips church happens on Nov. 26, and promises homemade jewellery, pot-

tery, soaps, and decorations. There is also the longer-running Salon des métiers d’art, which begins on Dec. 3 and goes until Dec. 22 at Place Bonaventure. It has been called the biggest professional craft show and sale in Canada.

If Christmas carols are your favourite part of the holidays, the CBC hosts a sing-in from the church of St. Andrew and St. Paul every year that you definitely won’t want to miss. This year, it’s on Dec. 4, admission is free, and the performance is broadcast to the rest of Canada.

There are also free Christmas choir concerts Saturdays and Sundays at 1:30 and 3 p.m. from Dec. 4 to Dec. 31. Les Choralies de la Chappelle Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours blends historic vignettes with classic Christmas favourites to create a show which will delight any music or holiday lover. Again, admission is free.

Although the annual Santa Claus parade has already passed, there is the smaller Plaza St. Hubert’s Christmas parade, dubbed by some the “Other Christmas parade.”

Some prefer this to the more crowded Santa Claus parade downtown, because it starts at 7 p.m. instead of 11 a.m., and offers a chance to drive in an antique fire truck. And, if you like parades, you might also like the Telus Fire on Ice fireworks in the Old Port, which happen every Saturday in December at 8 p.m. The show is called a pyro-musical, and is choreographed to music, which makes the trek down to the Old Port completely worth it. Last but not least, the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts presents a Christmas tree display with over 35 different trees for those with an eye for decoration, or anyone looking for ideas for their own tree. The display runs from Dec. 3 to Jan. 2, with free admission.

Montreal boasts some of the best Yuletide attractions around, so grab a friend, grab a hot holiday drink (nothing says Christmas spirit like an eggnog latte), and make a trip out to see what the city has to offer.

Montreal is a winter wonderland. (freephotooftheday.clientk.com)

Make it your new year’s resolution to write for Student Living.

E-mail features@mcgilltribune.com

16

Curiosity Delivers. www.mcgilltribune.com

food

Grocery list essentials for your vegan baking endeavours What to know when baking without animal products

By Marri Lynn Knadle Copy Editor Whether you’ve got environmentalism and animal ethics on the brain, or you’re contending with food allergies and a vegan relative or ten, there are lots of good reasons to make your baked goods vegan this season. Die-hard bakers of the chemist-gastronomist persuasion may be wary of the substitutes for proven ingredients like milk, eggs, and butter. But bakers have been hard at work testing the best alternatives to animal products in the kitchen for several decades now, with a veritable renaissance of vegan baking accomplishments occurring right under our noses. (The legendary impossible has even been achieved: vegan macarons. See Hannah Kaminsky’s Vegan Desserts: Sumptuous Sweets for Every Season).

Eggs

Eggs have from six to 20 ‘official’ jobs to do in baking, depending on what’s cooking. Don’t worry— whether you’re vegan, allergic, or health-conscious, you can certainly live without them. In most recipes, like those scrumptious coffee cakes, muffins, or snickerdoodles you’re planning, they serve simply as a binding agent. When making these recipes vegan, a simple off-the-shelf egg replacer will easily do the trick.

(I’ve had good results with Bob’s Red Mill egg replacer, a powder sold in 16 oz bags where Bob’s Red Mill products are sold. Try Eden in La Cité, and Couffin Bio on the corner of Sherbrooke and du Parc. Also,

look for Ener-G boxed egg replacer). Eggs can also emulsify, foam, and coagulate in recipes like mayonnaise, macarons, and quiches. For these other recipes, kitchen wizards will recommend something else: when eggs are critical in the recipe, the right firmness of tofu (usually silken) will mimic the texture and substance of egg. Apple sauce or banana can provide moisture content, and some swear by water mixed with ground flax seeds as a healthy replacement with good verisimilitude to eggs in most recipes.

Milk

Milk provides liquid as well as protein and fat content. There are a plethora of milks from the vegetable kingdom to choose from: rice, soy, and almond are the easiest to find commercially, but hemp and oatbased milks are out there too. The three faux-milk staples come in a variety of flavours, from plain to mango-strawberry. For most baking, a plain or unsweetened choice works the best, or vanilla for sweeter treats without much added sugar in the recipe itself. Rice milk has a slightly more watery mouth-feel than soy or almond milks, so keep this in mind when choosing your milk substitute.

I find the nutty flavour of almond milk (which has the richest mouthfeel, in my opinion) blends well into any baking, but some prefer the more flavour-neutral plain soy milk.

There are many competing brands with variable flavours and prices, so experiment and discern what works for your taste buds. (I’ve found Earth’s Own Almond Fresh to be the

Vegan baking ingedients and baked goods. (Marri Knadle / McGill Tribune) best to bake with as well as simply drink in between battles with my batter).

Butter

There are many off-the-shelf vegan butters available, but be careful about simply grabbing any old margarine and adding it to your cart.

Most of these, unless specifically labelled as vegan, contain milk ingredients and other animal-derived ingredients in addition to their vegetable-based fats. (To be safe, try Becel’s vegan margarine, or Earth Balance’s line of vegan spreads and margarines). If you’re overloaded on vegetable oils, rely on nut butters.

While most of us are familiar with peanut butter, the high fat content

of most nut species yields a buttery spread that’s good for baking with, especially if you’re looking for the richness of flavour that an almond, cashew, sesame, or hazelnut butter can provide to muffins, bars, and cookies. You can find a variety of nut butters in most stores, or, if you have ready access to some bulk nuts and a little patience, you can make your own with a recipe yanked from the Internet.

Sugar

Be aware that many sugars are not considered strictly vegan, because during the refinement process they’re filtered through animal bone char. Look for sugars labelled vegan, or the following: unrefined cane

sugar, evaporated cane juice, beet sugar, turbinado, or raw sugar. You can also find online lists of companies which are confirmed to not use bone char in their sugar-whitening process, so take a gander before hitting the grocery store. Alternatives to sugar like agave nectar, stevia, maple syrup, rice syrup, fruit juice, and molasses are also excellent in most recipes calling for just a little sweetness to brighten things up.

A little foreknowledge goes a long way in making vegan baking as easy and delicious as the mainstream. And because vegan baked goods often end up cheaper to make and healthier as well, who knows, you may find vegan baking becomes your new normal.

ODDS AND ENDS

If at first you don’t succeed, please don’t call, call again One student’s unique experience with misinformed late night callers

By Kyla Mandel Managing Editor Wrong numbers happen all the time. Normal etiquette dictates that you politely tell the person on the other end that this isn’t who they are trying to reach, and then you both hang up. No harm, no foul. But on occasion, you get that random person who, for whatever reason, just doesn’t get the message. I once had a man leave a two minute long message on my phone, in what I think might have been Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. Another time, a nanny with a thick Eastern European accent gave instructions on when to pick up the kid she was nannying.

Both of these provided me with many laughs. But, of all the wrong

numbers I have ever received, this past month’s will have been the most memorable.

It started off innocently enough—as innocent as possible given the circumstances. A man called asking to book a massage. I told him it was the wrong number, said good bye, and hung up. A week later, at 11 p.m. I received another message asking about my massage rates. This got me thinking—it’s rather late to be calling about massages. But then I realized that there’s more than one type of massage. Yes, that’s right; men all over Montreal have been calling me requesting to book erotic massages.

Over the span of two and a half weeks I received at least seven calls inquiring about my rates. To each

I replied a swift and curt “sorry, wrong number.” Some men were friendly, others were supremely creepy. Some accepted that it was a wrong number, others refused to believe it. One man insisted that I had called him with information and that he was simply returning the call. I informed him that I was positive this was a wrong number; of the two people in this conversation, I should know if I was supplying these services, not him.

Hoping to solve this mystery, I tried to Google my number, but arrived at a dead end. I even attempted a search of Montreal erotic massage places, but after two clicks I was both frustrated and scared. Being the novice that I am in these matters, I was worried that my computer

would become tainted somehow, perhaps getting infected with some sort of virus. So I cleared my history and gave it no more thought.

That lasted two days. Then, at 4 a.m., my phone rang. My sister, who lives with me, was the one to answer the phone this time. Sure enough, it was a man asking for a massage. It took him three phone calls and repeated yelling by my sister for him to finally understand that he had called the wrong number. A regular person, having dialed the wrong number, would not argue otherwise. Following this logic, if you were calling to book a very particular type of massage, wouldn’t you be embarrassed if you got the wrong number? And, if a person yelled at you, telling you it was the wrong number, why on

earth would you call back yet again?

But obviously this was an abnormal circumstance. If you call three times refusing to believe the person on the other end—who is making themselves extremely clear—you are a desperate person.

Now, I’m not one to judge. It is entirely your prerogative to book whatever sort of massage you want.

But repeated 4 a.m. desperate phone calls are where I draw the line between funny and horribly annoying.

So, a word to the wise: accept when you have dialed a wrong number and move on. And, for those of you who are wondering, yes, I did change my number.

Sports NBA Lockout: Whose side are YOU on?

Owners

Although they agree that the lockout should end as soon as possible, two basketball fans give their take on who they support:

on-court success. Teams in small markets without huge cashflows, such as San Antonio and Oklahoma City, have become some of the most successful franchises in the NBA. How did this come about? Simply, through the draft. In order to achieve success in the NBA, franchises must draft well. The New York Knicks are the wealthiest team in the NBA, and handed out money for years, but their last title came in 1973. Thus, it’s not certain that revenue sharing will lead to more success for small market teams.

The last issue, and probably the most polarizing one, pertains to Basketball Related Income, or what fans have come to know as BRI. In the 2010-2011 season, players earned 57 per cent of BRI, which includes ticket sales, television contracts, concessions, etc. The owners feel they are entitled to some more of that revenue, a completely fair claim since they are the ones funding the team. While the players are willing to share the revenue more evenly than the previous agreement, they rejected a dead-even 50-50 split. The average salary of the NBA player in the 2010-2011 season was $5.15 million, so it seems unreasonable to argue that they need more money. This is not to say that the owners need more money either, but the system is unfair. The BRI is based on gross revenue, so when the owners are spending extra funds on promoting and marketing their team, they’re taking a hit to their share.

The players do not feel this hit, and should be willing to split the BRI evenly.

As an NBA fan, there is no winner in this dreaded situation, but a compromise must be reached, and as much as I love Dirk, I’m cheering for Mark Cuban.

I’m an avid NBA fan, and like most other fans, I’m attracted to the league because of its players. We cheer for Kobe and Dwight because they’re the ones with the world-class talent. But after months of fruitless negotiation, I’m siding with the owners.

There are three main issues to evaluate. The first is the salary cap.

Before the lockout, the NBA used a soft cap system, allowing teams to exceed the cap to re-sign their players. Because teams were allowed to exceed the cap threshold, they were given the opportunity to sign free agents to massive contracts. This created a system whereby a mediocre player like Rashard Lewis earns $21 million annually. The owners are pushing for a hard cap, which does not allow teams to exceed the cap threshold. This way, owners would be more cautious with their spending, and eventually, the average salary of players would decline.

Players argue that it’s the owners’ faults for signing players to contracts that are totally disproportionate to their production. However, the motivation behind the owners’ hard cap system is to prevent this mistake. For instance, when a role player like Travis Outlaw is handed a five-year, $35 million contract, it increases the market price for other similar role players. This leads to a frenzy of ridiculous spending.

The second issue is revenue sharing. Under the previous Collective Bargaining Agreement, NBA teams were forced to share revenue only if they exceeded the luxury tax.

On the surface, this gives a significant financial advantage to teams in larger markets, such as Los Angeles and New York. Teams in Indiana and Milwaukee struggle to build winning teams, and feel disadvantaged. The owners’ argument is that they shouldn’t have to share the money earned by their teams with others. In fact, there is no real correlation between greater revenue and

VS

Winner : Players As entertaining as the owners can be (we’re looking at you, Mark Cuban), it’s the players that make the NBA what it is. They should benefit most from the league’s financial profits, and should be compensated accordingly.

Glossary Basketball Related Income (BRI)—Accounts for most of the revenue generated by an NBA team.

Includes, but is not limited to, ticket sales, television contracts, and concession sales.

Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA)—A legally-binding contract between management and employees that defines conditions of employment for a specified time period.

Hard cap—A salary limit that may not be exceeded for any reason. The current system is a soft cap, allowing teams to surpass the limit in exchange for revenue sharing.

– Steven Lampert

Volleyball (W)

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Montreal

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Sherbrooke

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Travis Outlaw—Formerly a talented NBA player. Now a case study against the owners.

Players

This is like deciding between Glee and Dancing with the Stars on a Tuesday night … there’s no right way to go. The NBA and the NBPA are both to blame for the current NBA lockout. After last year’s season, one of the best ever, they had to find a way to get some kind of deal done in time for a season. But, if I have to take a side, I’m standing with the players, and so should you.

The owners claim they were losing money under the old CBA. We have to say “claim” because they haven’t been transparent with their books. Not the behaviour of men in white hats. Nevertheless, let’s assume that owners are losing money and do need to change the system drastically to make a profit, taking a greater share of Basketball Related Income (BRI) and instituting a hard cap system. So that means that owning a basketball team is not a great business investment? Thanks for stating the obvious. A sports franchise is not a business. It’s a toy for billionaires. If the owners want a guaranteed profit they should sell their teams and invest in gold.

Or they should sort it out between themselves with revenue sharing.

What they cannot do is expect the players to just hand over hundreds of millions of dollars without giving them something in return.

How would a hard cap system help the owners save money you ask? Under the old system, a soft cap allowed teams to go over the cap if they were willing to pay a luxury tax on every dollar spent over the cap. A hard cap would limit how much teams could spend, which would help owners save money and increase parity in the league, says the NBA. This is ridiculous. First of all, the owners already have a builtin device to limit overspending; it’s called common sense. Nets forward Travis Outlaw makes $7 million a year. If the Nets aren’t competitive and aren’t profitable, they deserve it. As for competitive balance, how

Standings

about this: do your job. If you want to win, hire good coaches and GMs, draft well, re-sign players before they hit the open market, and build a culture of winning in your city. Consider the Knicks. They have plenty of money. They also hired a coach who literally doesn’t coach defence, at all. I’m going to go out on a limb and say they won’t win a title anytime soon, and they’ll have no one to blame but themselves.

These two issues, the cap system and the BRI split, seem to be the central points of contention in these negotiations. In both cases, the owners’ proposals aren’t outrageous, but they do require concessions from the players. On the other hand, the players are receiving nothing in return for these concessions. The owners expect the players to do these things for the good of the business as a whole, as if they were equal partners in the NBA. At the same time, the players aren’t being shown the respect a business partner deserves.

The NBA has shown, with its series of ultimatums, ambushes, and condescending memos, that the owners see themselves at the top of the pyramid looking down on the players, which they are. They want the players to act like partners without treating them like partners, backing the players into a place where they feel like they need to stand up to bullies.

It’s hard to feel sympathy for millionaires, but don’t buy into the image of the players as greedy. If anything, their actions prove the opposite. They’re willing to lose a year of salary—money most of them will not recover whatever the new deal looks like—to stand up to the man.

Are you really going to side with the man?

– Haruki Nakagawa

hockey (m)

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uqtr

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carleton

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Hockey (W)

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basketball (W)

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basketball (m)

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ottawa

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concordia

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uqam

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toronto

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Carleton

2

3

3

7

Bishop’s

1

1

2

laval

1

2

2

queen’s

6

5

1

13

Concordia

3

6

0

6

Martlets

1

2

2

redmen

1

2

2

ryerson

5

5

2

12

Ottawa

3

7

0

6

uqam

0

2

0

bishop’s

0

2

0

rmc

2

9

1

5

18

Curiosity Delivers. www.mcgilltribune.com

Around the water cooler

some new CFL fans through constant exposure, and that they’ll be watching when the Winnipeg Blue Bombers take on the B.C. Lions on B.C.’s home field in Sunday’s Grey Cup. In the NFL, the Green Bay Packers improved to 10-0, leading every single pundit in the sporting world to speculate on whether the team will go undefeated.

In case you were busy camping out for the premiere of Breaking Dawn, here’s what you missed this week in sports...

FOOTBALL — All hell broke loose south of the border this weekend as Nos. 2, 4, and 5 in the BCS standings lost in stunning fashion.

Losses for Oklahoma State, Oregon, and Oklahoma open the door for a rematch between SEC-rivals LSU

and Alabama in January’s national championship. Here in Canada, McMaster beat Acadia, and Laval had their way with Calgary in the national semifinals. The two will meet in Saturday’s Vanier Cup. Finally, the Cooler hopes that it has created

BASEBALL — Free agency took a back seat to more sartorial news this week, as two AL East teams announced major changes to their respective brands. Toronto fans have been calling for a return to the Blue Jays classic look for years, and their wishes have been answered by the organization. The Jays’ new identity is an update of the old logo that adorned the team’s caps in the glory years of the early ‘90s. In Baltimore, the Orioles also decided to change the bird on their hat to one more associated with winning than with the ornithologically-correct specimen that they have worn since 1989. Like Toronto’s winged mascot, the Orioles’ new cartoon bird is an update of a previous logo that Baltimore wore when it won its three World Series. Will the new looks lead the Jays and O’s out of the AL East basement?

HOCKEY — The NHL and Pittsburgh fans got exciting news

Sunday when the Penguins announced that captain Sidney Crosby would return to the lineup Monday night against the Islanders. Crosby, who hasn’t played in nearly 11 months due to a concussion he sustained in the Winter Classic on New Year’s Day, is so important to the league that CBC will broadcast a rare weekday game—between two American teams no less. This newspaper will have already gone to print before the Isles-Pens game, but the Cooler expects that the Kid got a standing ovation worthy of a newly inaugurated president, and that his team played an inspired game.

BASKETBALL — The NBA lockout continues, but that hasn’t stopped some of its players from playing elsewhere. Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko has returned to his native Russia and his old team CSKA Moscow. Kirilenko has been one of the Euroleague’s standout players in the young season, but suffered a broken nose on Saturday. On the fringes of Europe, Jordan Farmar, one of the NBA’s few Jewish players, is experiencing success with Israeli club, Maccabi Tel Aviv. Leading the European powerhouse in scoring, the Cooler thinks Farmar is probably enjoying being the team’s star player. CSKA and Maccabi are probably hoping that the lockout never ends.

Sports in Brief Martlets Capitalize in Ottawa Five was a significant number for McGill on Sunday as the women’s hockey team won their fifth game in a row with a 5-1 victory over the Ottawa Gee-Gees in the nation’s capital. Leslie Oles led the way with two goals and an assist while first-year forward Mélodie Daoust contributed three helpers in the winning effort. Continuing along the lines of Martlet success coming in fives, McGill held Ottawa to five shots in each period and earned five powerplays. Martlet goalie Charline Labonté also got credit for her fifth win of the season. Head Coach Peter Smith was extremely happy with the effort.

“I thought we played extremely well in the Ottawa game. We controlled the puck, and had a ton of shots, leading to scoring chances,” Smith said. “There are many things we can take from this game both now and for the future.”

With the win, the Martlets maintain their first place ranking in the RSEQ, and will return home this Friday for a rematch against the Gee-Gees, before battling Concordia on Nov. 27.

—Adam Sadinsky

Third Man in Another bright flame snuffed out For a week, boxing was alive and well in the memory of its fans.

Like George Foreman in 1994, when the then 45-year-old won the heavyweight championship, boxing beat back father time and became relevant, even central, to sport for a few short days.

This renewed interest was set off by a tragedy, the untimely passing of a great man. Smokin’ Joe Frazier, an Olympic gold medalist and a world heavyweight champion in arguably the greatest era of heavyweight boxing, died of liver cancer in his home on Nov. 7, at the age of 67.

One of the many who mourned his death was Muhammad Ali, Frazier’s fiercest rival. The two played integral roles in each other’s lives, shaping their respective legends in the fires of their three fights, polarizing boxing supporters inside and outside of the ring.

Their history is a complicated one. When Ali was stripped of his title and arrested for his refusal to be

inducted into the Armed Forces, Frazier, then the number one contender, refused to compete in the tournament for Ali’s vacated belt in protest of the decision. When Ali was released from prison and had his boxing license reinstated (in part due to the efforts of Frazier), the two met in the first of three fights, appropriately titled Fight of the Century. In the first-ever match between undefeated heavyweight champions, Frazier beat the older Ali resoundingly in a unanimous decision. Frazier then defended his title twice before losing to a young and ferocious Foreman. Ali and Frazier’s second fight didn’t have the import of the first or third as it was a non-title fight. But their third, the Thrilla in Manila, will go down in history as one of the greatest ever.

Since Frazier died, I’ve rewatched all of these fights in their entirety and have been enthralled by the display of boxing and fighting ability shown by the two champions.

The thing that struck home the most though, was the beauty of their contrasting styles.

Ali’s feet sought to refute the scales’ calculations that he was indeed a heavyweight, as he floated

and danced around the ring with preternatural quickness; Frazier’s heavy soles, like his persona, were bound to the earth. A blue collar hero in his adopted home of Philadelphia, Frazier didn’t have Ali’s flourishes—his winks at press row, his interactions with the crowd, or his mocking glove, extended in a hapless opponent’s face—Frazier was a simple juggernaut, a perpetual motion machine that knew only one direction: forward, leading with his head and bobbing and weaving through the onslaught of blows longer-limbed fighters would rain on him from above. Finally, like a greyhound or a heat-seeking missile, Frazier’s head would close that gap and come to rest on his opponent’s chest, nuzzling it, almost tenderly.

There, he was safe, at least physically, as Ali couldn’t generate the power to hurt him from that close.

He would absorb a torrent of verbal abuse though, between grunts from Frazier’s powerful left hook, a clubbing blow that shattered ribs and was particularly effective at intimate range. Frazier’s one idiosyncrasy was his head, which bobbled like a demented jack-in-the-box with a specially tuned affinity to

Ali’s punching rhythm. At times he ducked his way through torrents of Ali’s sharp jabs seemingly unscathed.

Outside of the ring, the fighters were also vastly different. Frazier was a hero to the working class, while Ali was a playboy, a fasttalking draft dodger who was close friends with the dangerous and divisive Malcolm X. Ali, known for his verbal sparring nearly as well as for his sparring in the ring, let his tongue run loose against Frazier in the lead up to each of their fights, calling him “ugly,” and “the gorilla.”

Those taunts hurt Frazier deeply and the animosity we witnessed in their matches wasn’t staged, at least not on Joe’s part.

The two reconciled much later, only after they had both turned deaf ears towards the pleas of their daughters, also boxers, to make peace.

Every one of Frazier and Ali’s fights was incredible—compelling acts of physical, technical, and tactical artistry. But in the aftermath of watching them, rather than contentment, I was filled with bilious rage.

This relates to the second, much less important but still notable piece of recent boxing news, Manny Pac-

quiao versus Juan Manuel Márquez III. They fought one of the better fights seen in years, but it only whet my appetite for the one fight that all fans have waited, and waited, and waited for: Pacquiao versus Floyd Mayweather.

These two should have been our generation’s Frazier and Ali, but they’ve hemmed and hawed and it looks like they’re equally complacent to end their respective careers without ever having fought. I wonder if they fear to fight because the loser would end up like Joe Frazier, doomed to runner-up status. If that’s the case then they’re foolish, because I know a lot of people, myself included, who will remember a warrior like Frazier with more fondness than either of them.

Like Muhammad Ali said, “[T] hat’s one helluva man, and God bless him.”

—Sam Hunter

19

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Hockey — redmen 6, Queen’s 0

Redmen light up Golden Gaels in shutout win Verreault-Paul continues hot streak in rout of Queen’s

By Trevor Drummond Contributor The McGill Redmen hockey team exploded out of the gate Saturday night, scoring four times in the first period, en route to a 6-0 victory over the Queen’s Golden Gaels.

Thirteen different Redmen made the score sheet, most notably Maxime Langelier-Parent, Marc-André Dorion, and Francis Verreault-Paul, all of whom enjoyed multi-point nights. The Golden Gaels, plagued by injuries, were outshot by the Redmen 36-20 and were outplayed in all facets of the game.

On Red Light Night at McConnell Arena, Redmen coach Kelly Nobes praised his players for moving their feet and communicating well on the ice.

“We knew we would have a decent crowd tonight,” Coach Nobes said. “We wanted to get on them right from the start and the puck was bouncing right for us.”

Gaels goaltender Riley Whitlock, who entered the game with a sterling 2.30 goals against average and a .933 save percentage, was lit

Redmen move into sole possession of first place in the OUA East Division. (Ryan Reisert / McGill Tribune) up for six goals on 28 shots before being pulled 12:25 into the second frame. To his credit, Whitlock made several impressive saves, particularly on the penalty kill, but was hung out to dry by his teammates.

The Queen’s skaters looked dazed and confused for the entire

game, unable to execute basic breakouts or maintain puck possession on a two-man advantage in the third period. The Golden Gaels went 0-for-9 on the power play and the Redmen were able to create scoring chances on the penalty kill, including a shorthanded goal by Benoit Levesque at

8:27 of the first period.

The Redmen victory was especially important for Hubert Morin, who earned the shutout Saturday following a rough outing, in which he allowed three goals on 13 shots in a 3-2 loss to UQTR on Nov. 9. The Redmen offence took the pressure

off their goaltender by scoring early.

The defence corp was rock solid, consistently winning one-on-one battles along the boards.

Redmen winger Francis Verreault-Paul, who went scoreless in his first four games of the campaign, now has eight goals in a five-game scoring streak.

“The first few games I was shooting the puck 12 times a game, I had scoring chances in slot, but the puck didn’t want to go in,” the fourth-year forward said. “Now I’m out of it, we’re playing good hockey, and it’s been a long time since we had a game like that one tonight.”

The victory gives the Redmen sole possession of first place in the OUA East division with a 10-1-2 record and two games in hand on UQTR and Nipissing, who are tied for second place. The Redmen will look to pad their two-point cushion when they visit the Nipissing Lakers in their next game on Nov. 26 in North Bay, Ontario. The Golden Gaels drop to 6-5-1 with the loss and will host the Ottawa Gee-Gees in their next contest, coming this Friday in Kingston.

Profile

Valérie Grand’Maison, McGill’s unsung Beijing hero Paralympian and CIS swimmer has sights set on London for 2012

By Sam Hunter Managing Editor Valérie Grand’Maison, a 23-year-old double major in history and psychology at McGill, won six medals in Beijing in 2008, three of which were gold. But you’ve probably never heard of her.

That’s because Grand’Maison won her medals at the Paralympics.

She competes in the S13 category, which, according to the simplified explanation she gave me, is reserved for people in the mildest class of visual impairment (she estimates that she has about ten per cent of her vision). Upon her return to Canada from Beijing, the lack of recognition for a three-time Paralympic champion was hard for her.

“I had such high expectations of what life would be when I came back. I thought I would be a whole different person and people would talk to me differently, but they really didn’t. Nobody knows what the Paralympics are ... I thought I would have more recognition but it just didn’t happen, obviously,” she said. “Now I know what I’m doing this for.”

After briefly quitting swimming following the Paralympics,

Grand’Maison won three golds in Beijing. (zimbio.com) Grand’Maison rediscovered her love for the sport. She credits this, at least in part, to McGill Swimming Head Coach Peter Carpenter.

“I actually quit, and then I heard that Peter was starting as the swim coach at McGill and I thought maybe I would just try as a social thing,” she said. But she enjoyed the training so much that she began

to ramp it up again. “I really, really enjoy his program; I really like the guy.”

When asked if it was really the program that lured her back or whether the sport had an addictive hold over her, she laughed. “It’s a little bit of both, I guess,” she said.

“I’m addicted to training—really, really addicted to endorphins.”

Now Grand’Maison is juggling two concurrent swimming seasons—CIS and Paralympic—while maintaining a course load that will allow her to graduate next year. The conflicting schedules of the two seasons keep Grand’Maison very busy.

For example, over the past weekend she traveled with the team to a CIS swim meet at Dalhousie, one that her teammates and competitors had been training to excel at. For Grand’Maison, the competition was a bump in her training schedule. Her preparation, in the short term, is for a Paralympic meet in two weeks. In the longer run, she’s aiming to peak next fall at the London Paralympics.

“She was sort of going to this meet in a different frame of mind and a little different state of preparedness because she has a swim meet coming up,” Carpenter said.

“So she wasn’t tapered the way the others were.”

Even if she isn’t a star in the CIS like she is against Paralympic competition (she holds the world record for the 100m, 200m, 400m, and 800m freestyle and the 400m IM), her experience at the highest levels of the sport sets her apart on the McGill team in some ways.

“As a university swimmer she’s

just one of the gang. She’s not the best swimmer on the team but she is definitely the most professional athlete on the team,” said Carpenter.

That professionalism translates into leadership of the type that Carpenter appreciates.

“Huge, massive leadership, absolutely. In many, many different ways. The way I value the most is just her setting an example,” he said. “[She’s] always one of the first people on deck.”

It all stems from her priorities, which are swimming first, school second, and everything else wherever it can fit into her busy schedule, lodged between three courses and 25-30 hours of training per week.

If that doesn’t sound like enough, Grand’Maison finds readings and writing assignments take longer due to her visual impairment, which was caused by macular degeneration starting at 12 years old.

Whatever the difficulties, she’s happy to be on the path towards the 2012 Paralympics that she’s taking right now.

“I know that coming back from London I have to sit down and figure out my life,” she said. “[But] my life for the next 10 months is pretty figured out.”

salut!

begins new friendships

Learning a new language takes you to exciting new places. Expand your world by learning French. Say ÂŤouiÂť to new friends, new perspectives and new discoveries. www.mcgill.ca/learnfrench