15.31 Mr. Special Ed, January 19, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 31, MauiTime

JANUARY 19, 2012 + VOLUME 15 + ISSUE 31 + FREE

Mr. Special

Ed

How a West Maui stable and a bunch of retired horses are changing kids' lives. Page 10

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Contents VOLUME 15

✚

READER FEEDBACK

ISSUE 31

BY READERS LIKE YOU THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Who’s your favorite horse (movie, book, tv show or actual horse)?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Silver Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Incitatus (Caligula’s horse) Proofreader: Dina Wilson A picture book of dressage Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Urban Cowboy Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com She-Ra, the Princess of Power’s flying unicorn Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Does Pony Boy count?), Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Sarah Jessica Parker General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

COVER:

SHANTY TALK (The following letters refer to Anu Yagi’s Jan. 12, 2012 cover story “This Land is My Land, This Land is Your Land.”)

Sean Michael Hower howerphoto.com

LIKES TREES Aloha Anuhea. Very well written.

Compassionate, objective and informative. You’ve exposed PREDATORS that are actively preying on vulnerable people already in distress. These jerks are no less vile than the Corporate and Political Elite, et al. The victims here are simply a microcosm of our entire world community. We have to look out for each other!

-Foster Ampong, via Mauitime.com

4 NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY 10 DINING 13 THIS WEEK’S PICKS 17 20 DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID 21 FILM CRITIQUE 26 FILM TIMES 27 HOROSCOPE 29 CLASSIFIED 30 31 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Anu: Your search for truth is admirable. But the story does not stop here, because the truth begs for justice. One does not need to be kanaka to empathize. You have made all our hearts cry for your people.

-Rita Ryan, via Mauitime.com Thank you, Anu, for working so hard and with such passion to bring this madness to light.

-Laura Civitello, via Mauitime.com

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 The Black Stallion (the book) Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Mr. Ed Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Vanna White

2 1 for

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

The article on Sonny and the river shanty is so well written. I live near there and always wondered about the folks living back there. Quite moving. Thanks for sharing this.

-Kerrie Isaac, via Facebook

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Heartbreaking. I want to cry. How dare people take advantage of the shanty residents? Who are these people who think it’s ok to threaten and then steal from those who have practically nothing?

-Stacey Almeida-Douglas, via Facebook Will the exploitation of Hawaiian people EVER end?

-Alexa Betts Basinger, via Facebook

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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LOW PRICE!

Akua bless you mightily for being a True Witness with a right spirit!

-Devine Design, via Mauitime.com

of

Why do so many scam artists latch on to the Hawaiian people? “Sir” Edward is just another in a line of scumbags. Did he learn his craft at Petro Hoy University?

-TipAndRing, via Mauitime.com Amazing story, and so well written.

What a sham taking place. Thank you for printing this.

-Tom, via Mauitime.com I have read your work before, excellent.

This is by far a sad, frustrating, delusional story. Please keep writing about this, fascinating.

-Amazing, via Mauitime.com

Nice job with the trees, Anu [Yagi] (“To Kill A Monkeypod,” Jan. 5, 2012). Does anyone really believe the MPQ or monkeypod quartet is remotely connected to the seasonal flooding in Kihei? She hits is right with the deforested mountain as being a major culprit. The Maui Nui Marine Resource Council’s “flood forum” on sight last November 18 brought together numerous experts on various causes of flooding, and I heard no mention of a few street trees as being culprits.

Poor planning (like building in natural wetlands,) the aforementioned deforestation upcountry and numerous other factors, going up the mountain to the source, as the Hawaii Ahupua’a teaches, is how to approach. Trying to stop a waterfall, full of mud and debris at the bottom, does not work.

-Mike Moran, via email

LIKES FERRIES I seriously want a ferry service between the islands (Coconut Wireless, Jan. 5, 2012). Airfares are expensive right now, and they charge you for bringing luggage!!

Imagine just loading up the car, paying a reasonable flat fee for hauling that weight, and relaxing in between the islands. For the fee it’ll cost you throwing 3 bags onto an Airplane, one could easily pay that as a fee to haul your car and a car full of boxes and luggage that would cost you an arm and a leg on an airplane.

One thing that I will never forgive is the venom caused by a bunch of NIMBY jackasses (MT included) is that the ferry service was killed just in time when the Airfares of the carriers went up due to the costs of fuel!! Great timing you guys, great timing. I suppose you’d all love paying those baggage fees, huh? Not me. I’d want some cash to spend at my final destination, cash that stimulates the economy. Think of it this way; Oahu folks spending their extra cash on our island that didn’t get eaten by the airlines for baggage fees.

-Anonymouse, via Mauitime.com

MORE ON LEODA’S It’s is not easy to get a great sandwich on Maui (“Leoda’s Kitchen and Pie Shop,” Jan. 5, 2012). The prices at Leoda’s are no more than any Lahaina restaurant but twice as good! They use the best ingredients.

Americans need to get perspective on food prices.

-S, via Mauitime.com

Send your feedback

to the editor

editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

JANUARY 19, 2012

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INKING MAUI FOR 18 YEARS

Mayor Alan Arakawa signed Bill 76.

What does Bill 76 do?

A. Prohibits the consumption of alcohol at the new South Maui Community Park in Kihei.

B. Legalizes the consumption of alcohol at the new South Maui Community Park in Kihei.

C. Prohibits the consumption of alcohol at all parks in the County of Maui.

D. Legalizes the consumption of alcohol at all parks in the County of Maui.

3. Various groups and donors recently 1.

Which of the following quotes did NOT appear in a story on Maui Police Chief Gary Yabuta that appeared in the January 2012 issue of The High Street Journal (“The official newsletter of the County of Maui�): A. “I’ve been blessed to have two lives, growing up in California and now here on Maui.�

B. “I want my employees to feel good about themselves and know how important their job is.�

C. “We want to make this a better community and remove fear from our neighborhoods.�

D. “The word ‘compassion’ appears in the Maui PD motto, and we take that very seriously.�

offered a $30,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of which individuals?

A. Those responsible for a robbing a branch of American Savings Bank last year.

B. Those responsible for electing Michele Bachmann to the United States House of Representatives.

C. Those responsible for killing four endangered Hawaiian Monk Seals on Molokai and one on Kauai.

D. Those responsible for making all of us lust after electronic devices that are made by children in Chinese factories under deplorable conditions and for little compensation.

See answers, page 29

Found on Maui

4

JANUARY 19, 2012

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Wind Power Vs. Gas Power = Fart joke

Misquoted, again.

GOT MLK? January 16 marked the observance of civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday (his actual birthday was Jan. 15, 1929). Around the nation, people held parades, read (or, hopefully, re-read) his speeches or just took the day off, which I guess is how most Americans celebrate the memories of those who bravely defied corrupt power.

Here in Wailuku (us Mauitimers celebrated by working on this very paper), we watched one of the shortest celebratory parades I’ve ever seen: maybe 50 people gathered out front of Requests Music at the corner of Market and Main–complete with bagpipers in full costume!–and then they marched all the way to Wailuku Coffee Company (at most, 20 feet away) and then they all went inside. It was epic (I suppose the parade eventually continued on from there, but I didn’t hang around to find out).

But I thought the best way to honor the memory of one of the greatest Americans of the 20th Century was by quoting from the press release of Hawaii’s own Congresswoman Mazie Hirono (D, 2nd District). Her statement, in my humble opinion, sums up the day best.

“Last year, our nation unveiled the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial on the National Mall,” Hirono said in her Jan. 15 news release. “This monument serves as an inspiration for the country we strive to be.”

Hirono, who is running for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Democrat Daniel Akaka, should know better. Actually (as Colbert Report viewers already know), the memorial is actually a monument to our nation’s intellectual laziness. The problem lay with one of the “quotes” from King that's inscribed in the monument's granite: “I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.”

King never said that. In fact, he never even thought it. The “quote” is, in fact, a

paraphrase from a longer speech King once made–a speech the monument’s designers clearly did not understand. Here are King’s actual words: “Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. Say that I was a drum major for peace.

Say that I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter.”

See, what King was actually doing was ridiculing the idea of heroic self-aggrandizement. But considering how silly it is to chisel a denunciation of self-worship into an ostentatious granite statute, it’s probably not so shocking that the memorial’s designers ended up rewriting King’s original words.

CRUISE SHIP FOLLIES So did you guys see that incredibly scary footage of that cruise ship that ran aground in Italy? There’s something terribly unreal about seeing a big ship simply lying on its

side, half-submerged in the shallows. And the reports about the captain allegedly going over the side long before his passengers–and then refusing Italian Coast Guard pleas that he return to his stricken vessel, in defiance of centuries of maritime law and tradition–are simply outrageous.

Thankfully, we don’t have to deal with any of that here–unless, apparently, you live on the Friendly Island, that is.

“The U.S. Coast Guard will enforce a temporary ‘security zone’ around Kaunakakai Harbor when the Safari Explorer cruise ship resumes visits to Molokai this week,” the Maui News reported on Jan. 15.

Apparently, Molokai has become a dangerous place for cruise ships. Back in November, a number of island activists made considerable noise when the Safari Explorer docked. Though not one of the bigger ships out there–the cruise line, in fact, specializes in taking small numbers of tourists to out of the way places–Molokai residents protested that the company wasn’t attentive enough to the needs of

Overheard MAN: “What’s your favorite movie?”

WOMAN: “I don’t know… Forrest Gump.”

MAN: “What was the color of Lt. Dan’s boots?”

WOMAN: “What was the color? I don’t know.”

MAN: “No color, because he didn’t have any legs!”

Front Street in Lahaina, Jan. 15

those who actually live on the island, and thus went about making life difficult for the boat.

Clearly, the cruise line is terrified that people will do what Kauai residents did years ago when confronted with the Hawaii Superferry–namely, paddle out in the harbor and place their bodies directly in front of the oncoming ship. Though incredibly dangerous, the tactic can bring results. After two extremely contentious trips to Kauai, the Superferry never again journeyed to that island.

What’s important here is that like that old battle against the Superferry, the Coast Guard is playing the role of “big corporation guard,” by using its official status as well as its ships and boats to protect a cruise ship from the pesky, dangerous residents who fund it through federal income taxes.

Doesn’t that get you all choked up inside?

WIND FARM EXPANDS Not sure if you’ve noticed, but the Kaheawa Wind Farm is expanding. Currently there are 20 massive wind turbines up on the Pali above Ma‘alaea generating 30 megawatts of clean, pollution-less power.

Now Boston, Massachusetts-based First Wind, the corporate owner of the Kaheawa site, is adding another 14 turbines, bringing the grand power generation total to 51 megawatts.

The only problem with this (other than the aesthetic issue of how those spinning blades screw up the Pali’s lines) is that if these wind farms keep growing and working, and their success gets duplicated in similarly windy places across the United States, it’s going to be a lot harder for this country to justify bombing and invading Middle Eastern (read: oil-rich) nations.

Well, I guess that’ll be the great defining challenge of the next generation. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1531n1

JANUARY 19, 2012

5

NEWS&VIEWS

‘Men With Military-Style Guns’

Lawsuit: MPD allegedly busts into wrong house, roughs up senior citizens

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

April and Norman Freeland

T

he night of Friday, April 15, 2011 was supposed to be a quiet one for April and Norman Freeland, a retired couple who’ve lived in Kihei for the last 22 years. They had over a few dinner guests, including April’s 86-year-old mother. It was around 9pm when Norman first heard noises coming from his front lawn. Norman had just reached the front door when it suddenly burst open and “men with military-style guns” raced inside, according to a lawsuit filed a few months ago against the County of Maui.

The men–who allegedly did not identify themselves– were apparently Maui police officers on a raid, states the suit. But the police apparently busted into the wrong house.

“Here is the one place where you’re supposed to feel safe,” said Sam MacRoberts, the Wailuku attorney with the Law Office of Philip H. Lowenthal, who’s handling the Freeland’s case. “Their house was raided by the people who are supposed to be protecting you, and there’s no real explanation.”

The complaint, filed in U.S. District Court on Oct. 14, 2011, lists the County of Maui, Maui Police Chief Gary Yabuta and Maui Police Officer Jerald Perkett as defendants (the names of other officers are unknown and appear only as “John Doe 1-20”). Though key details are missing in the complaint (it lacks key details concerning the raiders’ exact clothing and

6

JANUARY 19, 2012

weapon types, to say nothing of identifying just a single officer), it nonetheless makes for chilling reading.

“The men screamed and yelled at the Freelands as they entered the Freeland’s home,” it states. “A man grabbed Norman Freeland [who is 72] by the wrist and forcibly took him outside. Another man grabbed April Freeland [who is 63] and forcibly took her outside. A man with a combat-type weapon held the Freelands captive.”

The complaint states that on the lanai, one officer told the Freelands that they had a warrant, though MacRoberts says the Freelands never got a copy of it. “They left the Freelands a search warrant number,” he said. “But we haven’t gotten a copy of the warrant.”

According to the lawsuit, the Freelands repeatedly told officers that they were raiding the wrong house. “The men overturned furniture,” states the complaint. “They men

searched the Freeland’s drawers. The men created a mess in the Freeland’s home.”

At one point, an officer asked the Freelands if they knew of a “Kim.” April Freeland denied knowing any such individual and repeated her insistence that they had the wrong house (the address to the house is “clearly and prominently posted on the fence,” according to the complaint).

This allegedly went on for a half hour.

Then the police left. They apparently took nothing with them, which isn’t surprising because they had located no drugs, weapons or contraband of any kind, claims the suit.

MacRoberts said a single officer showed up at the Freeland’s door on July 13, 2011 tofollow up. “Norman told him to contact us,” MacRoberts said, and the officer went away.

According to the suit, the Freelands are seeking $250,000 in damages, another $1 million in punitive damages as well as court costs and attorney fees. MacRoberts said his office is currently preparing to conduct discovery in the case, and may soon start taking depositions.

The county’s response to the lawsuit is curious, to say the least. In its official answer to the complaint, filed in court on Nov. 30, 2011, the county’s Corporation Counsel’s office agrees that the Freelands have a right “to be free from unlawful arrests... [and] unlawful searches,” but they plead ignorance as to the specific allegations concerning the night of April 15. “County defendants are without information and knowledge as to the allegations... of the Complaint to form an opinion to the truth or falsity of such allegations and, on such basis, deny same,” states the response.

Deputy Corporation Counsel attorney Moana Lutey did not return a call for comment. According to county spokesman Rod Antone, the officers handled themselves “professionally.”

“The officers got on scene and they cleared the area,” Antone said. “When they discovered it was the wrong house, they apologized. No one was injured, nothing was damaged. They even told these people how they could file a complaint.”

MacRoberts denied that the officers apologized to the Freelands.

“The police had no legal right to invade April and Norman Freeland’s home and we believe they were not acting in good faith,” MacRoberts said in a press release from his law office. “We hope this suit changes the way our police force does business. The Chief of Police and the County have to stand up, take responsibility, and demand their police officers not behave as armed bullies. We cannot tolerate or accept this kind of behavior. If citizens do not have the courage to stand up for their rights, they will lose them.”

[This story was originally posted on Mauifeed.com on Friday, Jan. 13.] ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1531n2

“A man grabbed Norman

Freeland [who is 72] by the wrist and forcibly took him outside.

Another man grabbed April Freeland [who is 63] and forcibly took her outside. A man with a combat-type weapon held the Freelands captive.”

NEWS&VIEWS

Maui Outlets Coming Soon!

The Kihei to Upcountry Road, not so much

BY JEN RUSSO

C

onstruction and grading for the Maui Outlets shopping center in Kihei should be starting soon, said Douglas Gray, CEO of Eclipse Development Group.

Eclipse owns the 75 acres located on the mauka side of Pi’ilani Highway at the Kaonoulu intersection that is under development. In February 2011 the Maui Weekly wrote about the acquisition and plans for the center. Since then Eclipse Development engaged FFO Realty to manage the retail leasing activity and hired Strategy + Style Marketing Group to handle advertising and public relations.

“When I acquired the land a little over a year ago the heavy lifting had been done,” Gray said. “In 1999 and 2000 the public hearings and rezoning of the land was done.”

Maui Outlets is planned for the 30 acres on the north side of the property. Eclipse Development is known for “de-mall”-ing: transforming older “malls” into more pedestrian-friendly “street market-themed” regional centers with retail space, but this will be the first outlet center it will be building from the ground up.

“Originally malls were created with big anchors,” Gray said. “In the 60’s and 70’s this worked because the big department stores sold everything, and the shops in between depended on that foot traffic. By the 80’s this changed and people were coming to malls for the smaller stores and people

weren’t walking through the department stores. The retail evolution of these changes are reflected in our designs. We open up more pedestrian-friendly walking space, it’s not sterile. Now the anchors are theaters and food courts, destinations for shoppers.”

FFO Realty is experienced in the outlet market, and will be handling the leasing aspects of the outlet mall. The center will offer retail spaces from 20,000 square feet to 400,000 square feet, with water features and an outdoor dining area. Gray said he cannot reveal what retailers are in negotiations for lease space but they plan to have all of the major designer stores in the center.

He said that so far he has gotten great response from prospective retailers.

“My job is to do the land justice,” Gray said. “Developers are usually the bad guys, but I am going to do this space right. We want to give some warmth to the site. We want to pay some homage to the culture and history in the design and appeal to both residential and tourist markets. We plan to create the ambiance for destination shopping and dining.”

Part of his agreement to develop the land is Eclipse Development’s commitment to complete the first segment of the extension of Kaonolulu Street on the other side of Piilani Highway. This will be the first phase of a new Kihei to Upcountry road.

The rest of the Kihei to Upcountry road will be completed by the state. The estimated cost to the project is $212 million. Dean Hayashida from the Department of Trans-

portation said that only the design phase of this project has been completed, so there’s no construction schedule available. The environmental impact statement was completed in 2002. The current preferred plans for the road show it connecting to Haleakala Highway at the Hali’imaile intersection.

Eclipse Development plans to utilize lo-

cal construction companies and knows how important job creation is to the Maui market. “We plan to use as much local labor as we can,” Gray said. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1531n3

JANUARY 19, 2012

7

NEWS&VIEWS

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

BY JEN RUSSO

ELITE HEARING NETWORK PLAYS IN THE SAND More than 700 hearing industry experts from 185 different care practices will come together on Maui for the Elite Hearing Network, which will be held at the Grand Wailea Feb 8-12. With their ear cocked to our local community,

Unreal, yeah?

work members will choose to enjoy an afternoon of fun on the beach with their families and peers to show their support of our military, and we hope to have about 300 people participating,” said Paul Harkness, Vice President, Elite Hearing Network.

For additional information, contact Mary Sheldon, Assistant Marketing Manager, Elite Hearing Network. Call 763268-4089 or email mary.sheldon@amplifon.com.

BORN TO RIDE (SAFELY) Born to ride? Not so fast: Maui’s roads can be a death sentence for any motorcycle rider, seasoned or otherwise. An easy way to be safe is to brush up on the newest road rules at EdVenture from Maui College’s Motorcycle Safety Foundation’s Basic Rider Course.

The three-day program will be held on Friday evenings at 6pm, as well as Saturdays and Sundays starting at 7am.

Students will receive classroom instruction and hands-on range coaching with motorcycles provided to UHMC from Leeward Community College.

“Maui residents have been waiting a long time for this, and I am so excited that it has all come together,” said Lori Teragawachi, Director of the Office of Continuing Education and Training at UHMC. “Over the passed few years we have been accumulating quite a waiting list for this, and now we can start getting students on motorcycles!”

Successful completion of the Basic Rider Course will prepare you to safely ride a motorcycle as well as waive the Department of Motor Vehicle’s motorcycle skills test. Potential students should remember that they will still have to take and pass a written test (permit test) required by the Department of Motor Vehicles to get a motorcycle license.

For more information please call (808) 984-3231.

BUY BACK THE BEACH BENEFIT The annual fundraising gala evening Buy Back the Beach is slated for Jan. 28 at 5pm and will be held at the Old Lahaina Luau. The event benefits the Hawaiian Island Land Trust, a nationally accredited non-profit that acquires, preserves and protects important lands. The Old Lahaina Luau has hosted the event for the last 11 years.

This year, Hapa p will commemorate the 20th anniversary of their premiere with a special album release headlining performance. perfo Misemon Joni DeMtresses of ceremony

HAPA!!!

ello and Liz Morales of Ahumanu will guide the evening through a celebration of Hawaiian food, music, dance, and inevitably, a lot of laughs. Party goers will feast on the culinary tour de force of Hoaloha Na ‘Eha with special tasting menus from Star Noodle, Old Lahaina Luau, Aloha Mixed Plate and the new Leoda’s Kitchen & Pie Shop.

The “Adventures for the ‘Aina” live auction returns with great adventures on Maui and beyond. Attendees will have the opportunity to bid on custom island experiences including exclusive packages (like a private afternoon with U.S. Poet Laureate William S. Merwin, or an exclusive chef dinner in the old jail at Ulupalakua Ranch hosted by Edible Hawaiian Islands magazine), adventure packages (such as a guided kaupo hunt with private dinner by Chef Brian Etheredge) and great getaways including a three-night stay beachfront on Hanalei Bay, or a luxurious weeklong excursion through Napa. You may preview packages at http:// www.hilt.org/auction2012.

Tickets are available for $150 per person or $1,200 for a table of eight. In addition to conventional tables and chairs, guests may choose low tables with traditional Hawaiian mat seating, which are closest to the stage. To make a reservation, call (808) 244-5263 or visit www.hilt.org/bbtb.

they have decided to host Operation Sandtastic, a sand sculpting team competition to raise money for Friends and MAYOR TO TALK Family of Na Koa E Kapili. This local organization plans TO LAHAINATOWN welcome home events for soldiers and sends care packages ACTION COMMITTEE to deployed troops, to name a few of their support services.

Mayor Alan Arakawa will be the guest speaker at the La“Partnering with Family & Friends allows us to give hainaTown Action Committee Annual Meeting on Monback to those who sacrifice so much for each of us,” said day, Jan. 30 at the Pioneer Inn. Heinz Ruch, President and CEO of Amplifon USA. “Our The merchant organization promotes and preserves the Annual Business Summit is the one time historical, cultural, social and commercial vieach year when our entire network of heartality of Lahaina. The organization is known ing care professionals gets together, so it is for spearheading and organizing events in the perfect time to make a real impact on a LahainaTown like the annual Ocean Arts great cause.”

Festival, 4th of July and Halloween, as well Attendees at the Elite Hearing Network as running the visitor center in the town’s will spend three days learning best prachistoric courthouse. tices from hearing care industry leaders.

The LahainaTown Action Committee enTopics range from marketing your praccourages all Westside residents to come and tice, financial and business management, meet the board members and discuss ideas coaching and leading staff in learning the for the 2012-2013 year. Four interim memlatest hearing aid technology from many bers will run for a permanent board position. manufacturers.

Registration for the meeting begins at Riki Inzano, a local sand sculptor from 5pm, where light pupus, refreshments and Art By Riki, will instruct participants on a no host open bar will be available. Learn methods and sculpting techniques as well as more at visitlahaina.com or call Lynn Doncreate a custom sculpture before the contest ovan (Director) or Jill Holley (Executive begins. Members of the National Guard and Board) at (808) 667 9175. ■ Elite Hearing Network management will -@AdrienneLaF (Honolulu Civil Beat reporter Adrienne LaFrance), Jan. 17 jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso judge the completed sculptures.

“Even with all the amazing activities To share or save this article, type: available on Maui, we’re confident our netmt.hy.pr/1531n4

TWEET of the WEEK “For news geeks: Note that shipdelivered news of the overthrow wasn’t printed until Jan. 28, 1893, 11 days after it happened.”

8

JANUARY 19, 2012

NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

T

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

OBSESSIONS Don Aslett, 76, recently opened the Museum of Clean in Pocatello, Idaho, as the culmination of a lifelong devotion to tidying up. Highlights are several hundred pre-electric vacuum cleaners plus interactive exhibits to encourage kids to clean their rooms. Aslett told London’s Daily Mail in December that people who don’t understand his dedication must never have experienced the satisfaction of making a toilet bowl sparkle. Also starting early in life, Dustin Kruse, 4, is so knowledgeable about toilet models and plumbing mechanics that the Kohler Co. presented him with an advanced-model “dual flush” commode for Christmas. Dustin, a fan of the Kohler showroom, has been known to explain toilet technology to other showroom visitors.

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION! Predator drones are an important weapon against terrorists in Afghanistan, Yemen and other countries, but in June, an unarmed predator was employed stateside to help catch cattle rustlers. The Department of Homeland Security owns eight predators for surveillance and occasionally assists local law enforcement. The cattle rustlers had been arrested, then jumped bail and holed up on their vast ranch near Lakota, N.D., but the predator spotted their exact location on the property, leading to a raid that ended without bloodshed.

GOVERNMENT INACTION! India’s legendarily plodding government bureaucracy had long stymied a snake charmer named Hakkul (a villager in Uttar Pradesh state), who had sought a snake-conservation permit, which had been authorized at one level but delayed locally. In November, finally exasperated, Hakkul walked into the land revenue office in the town of Harraiya with several sacks of snakes (including cobras) and turned them loose, sending clerks and visitors climbing furniture or fleeing. Recent news accounts report that “almost all” of the snakes had been rounded up.

JUST PLAIN WOW A December news release from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control warned of the dangers of Campylobacter jejuni bacteria infections on a sheep ranch, but apparently only among workers who used a 19th century method of castrating the animals. CDC strongly urged that workers stop biting off the sheep’s genitals and instead use modern tools.

MONEY WELL WASTED From U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn’s periodic list of the most “unnecessary, duplicative and lowpriority projects” that the federal government currently funds (announced in December): $75,000 to promote awareness of the role Michigan plays in producing Christmas trees and poinsettias; $48,700 for promoting the Hawaii Chocolate Festival; $113,227 for a video game preservation center in New York;

and $764,825 to study something surely already done adequately by Silicon Valley entrepreneurs–how college students use mobile devices for social networking. Also on Sen. Coburn’s list: $15.3 million in continuing expenses for the famous Alaskan “bridge to nowhere” that was widely ridiculed in 2005 but apparently refuses to die.

CHUTZPAH! Convicted serial rapist Steven Phillips was exonerated in 2008, one of a continuing string of wrongly convicted Dallas-area “criminals” proved innocent by DNA testing, and under a formula by state law, he was awarded about $4 million, tax-free, for his 25 years behind bars. Recently, Phillips’ ex-wife filed a petition in court demanding a portion–even though the couple had been divorced for the last 17 years of his incarceration, and the ex-wife had remarried and had a child. The ex-wife claims it was Phillips who originated the divorce and that she had given up on him only because he had revealed a “disgusting” history as a “peeping tom” and flasher.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

OB

ehbrah@mauitime.com

Do sev De sta an oth

T

o the jerk fisherman who leaves his old baited hooks 10 feet from a trash can: Thanks to you my morning beach time with my dog turned into emergency vet time because he got a huge hook stuck in his face. Those cans on the beach are intended for more then just Heineken bottles. Is it laziness, ignorance or stupidity that makes you just toss your fishing waste on the beach literally five steps from a trash can? Next time another could get injured, or a kid could get his foot stuck. Of course, in a perfect world, your ass would get the hook, but we’re probably not that lucky. ■

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AWESOME GETAWAY In December, Russell Mace, 55, was caught soon after robbing a Union Savings Bank branch in New Milford, Conn. A bank employee had spotted Mace acting “suspicious” in the parking lot, and indeed, he said, Mace entered, robbed the bank of about $3,000, and fled to a waiting car. Police, however, identified the car, which they had noted from Mace’s recent arrest for shoplifting. The “suspicious” behavior the bank employee had noticed, he told police, was Mace, pants down, defecating, in plain view among parked cars.

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Fro fun $4 som on app Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

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ROOKIE MISTAKE Tyechia Rembert, 33, was arrested and charged with robbing a Burger King drivethru cashier in York, Pa., in December but only after making police officers’ job easier. After her clean getaway, she called the restaurant to reassure herself that none of the witnesses had noted her car’s license plate number.

None had, but using cellphone records, police traced that call to Rembert.

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UPDATE! Not all states have anti-bestiality laws, and Peter Bower’s ongoing case in Ohio exemplifies prosecutors’ frustration. There was evidence that Bower had had sex with a dog (“Maggie”) and had written her “love” letters, and police arrested him in June. Prosecutors were willing to settle the case in November for minimal punishment because the only law Bower could have been charged under is “animal cruelty,” and they explained that they might have had trouble showing harm to the apparently adored dog.

At the time of Bower’s arrest, a search had uncovered human-animal pornography and a life-sized inflatable sheep. ■ chuck@mauitime.com

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JANUARY 19, 2012

9

Mr. Special

Ed

How a West Maui stable and a bunch of retired horses are changing kids' lives.

It’s

feeding time for the horses at Kalee’s Retirement Stables, located in Lahaina just north and mauka of Puamana Park. It’s about the only time things get rowdy here. The horses follow Kalee around, jockeying for position and their preferred buckets.

“I have a pattern, and it keeps things calmer,” Kelee Farberow said. “Maka eats first. Then I put those two under the tree. This horse likes to eat slow, so I put him by himself so the other horses won’t rush his food. But Sparky can’t make up his mind–he thinks the food is different in all the buckets and will keep wandering.”

Farberow, a freshman at Lahainaluna High School, opened her stable for retired horses about five years ago.

Kalee and her dad Stuart Farberow (a Maui Police Officer) got the idea to create a refuge for horses that have spent years on trail rides. Their first horse came from Ironwood Ranch in Napili, which agreed to give her one of their retired horses if they found the land to stable it.

“His name was Harrison,” Kalee said. “I just loved that horse. But unfortunately he got put down before I got him.

But I told my dad this is what I want to do, and when I was nine we set up the stables.”

Kalee’s dad Stuart remembers Harrison as well.

“She was heartbroken about Harrison,” he said. “’It just wasn’t fair,’ she said. ‘These horses work hard their whole lives and die in a stall. We have to fix this, Dad.’ I offered to buy her the best video gaming system, but she wanted a

10

JANUARY 19, 2012

good place for these horses.”

Stuart said he really wasn’t sure what to do, so he contacted West Maui Land.

“I couldn’t have done it without help,” Stuart said. “I called Dave Minami, who works for West Maui Land and asked for help. He, in turn, asked the owners at West Maui Land if we could use some land. It was amazing. They got right back to me and offered these 15 acres to use and $200.

If it wasn’t for West Maui Land I would not be here doing what we are doing.”

As the retired horse population increased, West Maui Land eventually gave Kalee’s Retirement Stables use of an additional 150 acres in Olowalu. Now the stables hold about 26 horses, plus lots of goats, sheep, pigs, chickens and dogs.

There are also turtles living in a pond.

Many of the animals show up injured or sick, donated without any funding for their care. Stuart said Peter Klein is the farrier who comes to help with their horses and donates all of his time. Again, Stuart emphasized that he wouldn’t be able to care for these horses without such assistance. There are other angels, too, like a couple he knows as Mike and Angela who contribute a significant amount to the feed bill, one that routinely tops $3,000 a month.

Despite the fact that their stables need money, the Farberows have started raising money for the Kamehameha Elementary Special Education program. The reason is simple: Amanda Rake, a teacher in the program, called on the Farberows three years ago when she was looking into

Photo by Sean Michael Hower

By Jen Russo equestrian therapy for her students.

“I saw a TV show on horses working with autistic and special needs children,” Rake said. “There is lots of research and articles on the subject. Being around horses changes your brainwaves. Kids with autism have trouble speaking spontaneously, but the horses can bring on unrehearsed verbal behavior.”

Stuart and Kalee welcomed the students, and Rake brings them when she can. Rake said her kids love visiting the horses. What’s more, Rake said the students’ time at the stables has also taught them speaking skills that might not otherwise come out of a classroom.

The students know the drill: if they want to get on a horse, they have to tell Stuart. That requires them to articulate exactly what they want. The horses make them happy and calm, Rake said, and that helps motivate them to express what they want, be it getting on a horse, feeding the pigs, chilling with the goats or just petting the dogs.

On a recent visit to the stables, I met Leo Rojas, one of Rake’s students. Rojas was trucking all over the stables to see the dogs he loves, pet the horses and feed the baby pigs. Jodi Mashino, who was assisting him, said the large size of the horses intimidate her, but she wanted to be there for Leo. Rojas’s experience at the stables has apparently brought out a wealth of new words and coordination. In fact, Stuart said that, at first, Leo wasn’t confident stepping around the rocks and dirt at the stables, but now he ambles around like a pro.

Another student was experiencing his first time at the

L to R: Leo Rojas, Amanda Rake, Jodi Mashino, Sparky stables, and the minute a goat came up to sniff him out for treats he started screaming. But by the end of his visit he was peaceful, and chose to enjoy his new animal friends by staying under a shady tree some distance away, signing his thank you’s to Stuart.

Stuart and Kalee started fundraising for the special class three years ago when they had an opportunity to raise money at the local Lahaina Restoration Foundation Plantation Days. Rake said the money has been a great help. Last year they raised $900, which she used to buy sensory items and software. She hopes to use the rest for future field trips.

“At Plantation Days we have to borrow trailers to bring the animals down to the site,” Kalee said. “Then I walk in a circle with the horses all night long. My friends come by and want me to come hang out at the event, but I stay with the animals. My feet hurt so bad but it’s worth it because the kids love it. Sometimes it’s their first experience with animals or their first time on a horse.”

So far the stables are dedicated to a “pay it forward” philosophy, and lots of folks have come forward to help. As we were standing in the stables, a truck came by to drop of wood chips. A little while later a young guy dropped off a bag of fresh veggies that Kalee brought over to the baby pigs.

There are chairs and tables outside the fence, where people are welcome to come by and say hi to the animals.

Kalee and Stuart also encourage people to bring apples and carrots for the horses, and the animals love the interaction.

She said they also have an account at Central Pacific Bank under “Kalee’s Retirement Stables” for anyone who wants to make monetary donations.

Kalee added that some animals get dropped off in the night; there have also been instances of people climbing in and hurting the animals. At other times, wild dogs have snatched goats.

But Kalee and Stuart insisted that times are good now and the animals are doing well. Kalee said she’s gained tons of experience with the goats and pigs that are born there.

Despite all of her responsibility at the stables, Kalee is still a normal high school student. Her education is very important to her.

grams. Kalee said they will try to be self sustaining by perhaps selling eggs or raising chickens.

As expected of someone who loves spending so much time around animals, Kalee said she wants to be a zoologist, though she plans on specializing in wolves. It’s an unusual choice, considering that there aren’t any wolves in Hawaii.

Being around horses changes your brainwaves. Kids with autism have trouble speaking spontaneously, but the horses can bring on unrehearsed verbal behavior.

“Usually my dad does the morning feeding and I do the afternoon or evening feeding,” she said. “I have to smell good at school, that is my one thing. I share a locker at band and my half of the locker is all perfume and stuff. I can’t miss school because I am an honors student, my education is crucial to me. I have gotten up at 2am to be with the horses during fire threats. Then I got to school and everyone is asking me why I smell like smoke” Kalee is the only freshman student in the Lahainaluna High School animal science program, which will soon lose funding, along with the other agriculture department pro-

But Kalee said she adores wolves, and loves the pack aspect of their socialization and mythologies surrounding them. When I asked her why, with all the animals at her stable she wants to focus on an animal that doesn’t even exist here, she said, simply, “Well, you can blame it on Twilight and the werewolves.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1531L Comment on this story at mauitime.com

JANUARY 19, 2012

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FOOD&DRINK

Blue Lagoon

There’s cool peacefulness and great food in the Wharf Cinema Center’s basement

BY JEN RUSSO

Blue Lagoon 658 Front St., Lahaina 661-4900 www.facebook.com/BlueLagoonLahaina

T

he Wharf Cinema Center in Lahaina Town was once the newest retail structure by the harbor. As kids we loved the triple decker maze it offered and the “basement” level fun factory. This little retail and theater center was built without a centralized food court, but food it definitely has.

My most recent food exploration was at Blue Lagoon in the Wharf’s ground floor (it’s actually one story below the Front Street sidewalk) where they have a waterfalls and a koi creek. There’s a lot of foliage down there, and you can find a kind of peacefulness below the bustle of Front Street.

The Blue Lagoon and has been reviving its nightlife and food scene with menu changes, daily specials and entertainment since transforming back into the Blue Lagoon. See, a little over two years ago Phoebe Tu and Dion Navarro got the lease on the restaurant and ran it as the West side’s Da Kitchen – a popular food outlet on Maui known for its great local food, huge portions and Kahului and Kihei locations.

But Tu says it wasn’t taking off like they thought it would, and kept hearing from her customers how great the location was back in the Blue Lagoon days.

“We listened to what they said about Blue Lagoon, the fun nightlife, the bar, but they weren’t saying anything great about the food,” Tu says. “So that is what we focused on. I wanted a solid menu with it. My Lahaina burger is soaked in sugar cane juice and topped with pineapple, and people rave about it. Also our fried oysters are amazing, our fish and chips are incredible and we have a lot of seafood.”

This basement has waterfalls and koi creek

Those words had no sooner come from her lips when a couple who just had lunch walk across the dining room to tell Phoebe how perfect her pineapple burger was and how it was so juicy and delicious. It’s true: the hand-patted burger is very juicy, with a touch of sweetness and their pineapple crushed topping was also quite good. I liked how they avoided the teriyaki thing but still produced a Hawaiianinspired sandwich, and served it with a generous amount of crinkle cut fries for just $10.

The menu offers a bountiful variety of food. Local plates, burgers, tacos, appetizers, soups, catch of the day, but it’s their seafood specialties that stand out in their selection and fried goodness. I don’t know the forces that urge us take succulent pieces of sea life, dredge them in wheat and then fry them in burning hot vats of oil, but the results are amazing. The delicious contrasts of juicy salt water-raised flesh against the crumbling exterior of fat infused crunch lubed up with spicy and sweet cannot be denied.

Their menu offers shrimp, fish, chicken, oysters, coconut prawns, opakapaka, garlic shrimp, rangoon, crab balls, onion rings, garlic fries, just to name a few in the fried department. Their coconut prawns are the jumbo size, crisped to perfection, drenched with plenty of shredded coconut among the panko and served with a fusion of garlic aioli and sweet thai chili sauce to swill them down with.

Phoebe Tu and Dion Navarro

what Kalbi is known for. Blue Lagoon mixes their marinade with plenty of ginger zing, caramel, garlic, orange and soy, creating a pullapart Kalbi that disappears fast.

As for beverages, Tu likes to design drinks, and the Blue Lagoon has a few of her special concoctions. The Pineapple bomb is a hollowed-out pineapple in which its flesh is blended with ice and rum. It’s a popular visitor drink, as is their stiff orange-colored Hurricane, an amalgam of juices, Bacardi rums and Captain Morgan.

But when Tu made me her pink “Cotton Candy,” I was a bit skepKalbi Ribs tical of the creamy, Barbie pink cocktail. Yet I was pleasantly surprised with a well-balanced chick drink. I couldn’t help finishing it, even at the risk of my full stomach.

It tastes better than its namesake, and is made from butterscotch, PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER Stoli vanilla and grenadine. It’s a perfect dessert or nightcap.

“We use fresh medium size oysters from Fresh Island The Blue Lagoon is doing their thing in the waterfall Fish,” says Tu. “We bread it with flour, egg, panko and grotto of the Wharf on Front Street from Mon-Sat., 11ambest of all we toss it with Furikake [a mixture of dried and 1:30am and Sun., 11am-10pm. (They also offer daily specials ground fish, sesame seeds, chopped seaweed, sugar, salt and and a $5 late night menu.) more…] and we offer a sweet and spicy dipping sauce. Many I hear that on Friday nights, Whiskey Pimps is a blast, of my customers who never liked oyster, tried our oysters Wednesdays feature Na’au and Monday is Open Mic Night. and ended up liking it very much.”

Flash your IDs for 15 percent off for kama’aina and 50 perThe seafood specialties can be ordered as pupu or as a cent off county staff. Check their Facebook page for daily meal with fries and coleslaw. The fish and chips are good, updates. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso Tu says, because they tempura batter it with Maui Brewing Company beers. Sometimes they use the Coconut Porter, For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: which adds hints of coconut to the fish. mauidish.com Blue Lagoon also serves delicious Kalbi, Korean short ribs which are thinly sliced slabs of beef that are marinated To share or save this article, type: and grilled. The marinade is key to tenderizing and adding mt.hy.pr/1531d1 a colossal caramelization to the grilled meat – pretty much

JANUARY 19, 2012

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FOOD&DRINK

Talking Story With Chef Alan Wong On Amasia

BY JEN RUSSO

A

lan Wong is a household name on Oahu. It’s synonymous with amazing translations of our local dishes into fine dining. He’s managed to manipulate the local plate flavors and presentations into beautiful creations using fresh island ingredients. His cookbook New Wave Luau captures that so well, and tells his story about growing up in Hawaii and becoming a chef, as well as being honored with the James Beard Award for Best Chef of the Year for the Pacific Northwest.

His basics appendix in the back is an indispensable source in my kitchen.

The news that Wong is coming to the former Kincha location in the Grand Wailea has long been titillating my taste buds. Amasia will open in spring 2012, and is already making my stomach grumble. Kincha is currently undergoing a $2 million renovation. Amasia will feature a sushi bar and a robata for grilled delicacies. The bar will pour private labels and creative cocktails inspired by its transcontinental menu.

Wong was gracious enough to answer a few questions:

MAUITIME: I love the Pineapple Room and Alan Wong’s on King Street. What makes these two restaurants so successful, yet each unique? Do you get more creative at one over the other?

ALAN WONG: Our successes are largely due to the successes of our people in each restaurant. They make it happen on a daily basis and deserve all the credit. The PR has an advantage of serving breakfast and lunch, so there are more ideas there that sometimes do not translate well in the King Street restaurant. At the Pineapple Room, 75 percent of the clientele are local and we take that into consideration when planning our menu. At our King Street restaurant, our clientele are 50 percent local and 50 percent visitors.

MT: What kind of relationships do you have with farmers on Oahu?

WONG: We consider most of our farmer relationships to be like partnerships. We get to know the farmers on a first-name basis.

New Wave Luau Land

We like to visit the farms to learn about the products, and we often feature the farmer and products in our quarterly Farmer Series Dinners.

MT: What kinds of fresh ingredients / produce are available to you on Oahu?

WONG: The availability of products is very broad on Oahu. To name some of the produce, there are salad and cooking greens, tomatoes, corn, cucumbers, citrus, bananas, beets, watercress, asparagus and sea asparagus.

MT: Do you foresee that occurring on Maui as well?

WONG: We are very much looking forward to being in Maui, visiting the farms, meeting the farmers in person and getting to see the great variety of products we’ll get to use in Alan Wong’s Amasia. If there are products we need that do not yet exist on Maui or in the State of Hawaii, we will encourage someone to grow it for us.

MT: Have you spent much time on Maui?

WONG: I am quite familiar with Maui but I look forward to spending more time there and experiencing all that the island has to offer.

MT: What restaurants have you enjoyed here?

WONG: I have eaten all over Maui and have enjoyed the fine dining spots as well as the hole in the walls. I think there is a good reason why they say “Maui no ka oi.”

MT: Why are you inspired and excited to open a restaurant on Maui?

WONG: I have worked on Kauai, Oahu and the Big Island, but never on Maui. I enjoy Maui very much and it has been a dream of mine to open a restaurant on every island.

MT: What gets you exhilarated about being a Chef in Hawaii?

WONG: We may not have the four seasons in Hawaii in terms of the weather and what foods are/are not available. But we are luckier because we have two seasons–rain and sunshine–and we’re able to get a vine-ripened tomato year-round.

Hawaii is really a paradise when it comes to being able to use a whole variety of ingredients all year-round.

MT: Do you think you will write more books on cooking?

WONG: Yes. MT: How will this restaurant differ from the menus at Bistro Molokini and Humuhumunukunukuapua’a?

WONG: We have our own distinct style of Hawaii Regional Cuisine. We will feature a unique sushi menu as well as a unique robata menu. We will complement the other restaurants on the resort to give the Grand Wailea Resort guests a varied and exciting culinary stay.

MT: Was there a particular draw working with the Grand Wailea, as opposed to opening your own stand alone restaurant on the island?

WONG: The hotel is wonderful, the people are warm, the location is great and our partnership is a great opportunity to create

Chef Alan Wong

“Amasia by definition is the converging of continents. Food brings people together, at the kitchen table or in the plantation fields in many destinations.

I want to create an elevated local interpretation of this cultural exchange. something awesome together. I’m really excited about being in the Grand Wailea on Maui.

MT: What does the name Amasia mean?

WONG: Amasia by definition is the converging of continents.

Food brings people together, at the kitchen table or in the plantation fields in many destinations. I want to create an elevated local interpretation of this cultural exchange. Guests will experience a sense of place, as they see, hear, smell and feel the melding of exotic flavors from around the world, featuring the best of Maui’s bounty from the land and sea. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1531d2

JANUARY 19, 2012

15

THE 2012

MIND BODY SPIRIT

ISSUE

You know Maui Time Weeklyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mind, Body & Spirit section is the islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only weekly guide to alternative health care, fitness, nutrition and lifestyle.

Now get ready for our ninth annual special Mind, Body & Spirit Issue, where we will explore some of the fascinating and revolutionary ways in which you can enhance your health and soul.

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To reserve space contact Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

16

JANUARY 19, 2012

PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, JANUARY 19 THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS HUMPBACK WHALE NATIONAL MARINE SANCTUARY HOSTS TWO MARINE EXPERTS - First, certified naturalist Hannah Bernard conducts an interactive presentation on cetaceans in the Maui marine ecosystem (34:30pm). Then, Dr. Marsha Green, a cetacean researcher from Albright College, presents “Noise in the Ocean,” a lecture focused on her passion for reducing ocean noise that detrimentally affects marine life (6:30-8pm). Dr. Green has done underwater acoustic research for many years and advocates that, in some areas, man-made ocean noise has doubled every decade for the last six decades with significant negative impacts on marine life; causing animals to move away from important feeding and breeding grounds as well as interfering with their communication and mating processes (a deaf whale is a dead whale, after all). Free. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary (726 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-2818

AN INTIMATE EVENING OF JAZZ - Jazz great Bill Mays (whose extensive resume includes work with Sarah Vaughn and Frank Zappa) joins local favorites Phil and Angie Benoit.

Plus, fans can enjoy an artist meet-and-greet following the show. $30. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20 THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT - Sorry hippies, this isn’t an event about Chemtrails–it’s a concert by the Los Angelesbased hipster band acronymically known as TATE (named after section two of Don DeLillo’s book White Noise). “I’m trying to get down an emotion, a scene or a setting,” says frontman Mikel Jollett, of songwriting (in the band’s online “biography of sorts”). “Everything important that happens after that happens between the music and the listener; the rest of it is all mythology. The collective interpretation of it is way more important than what I think.” $23.50 / $28.50 / $55.50. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

KUMU KAHUA THEATRE PRESENTS “A JIVEBOMBER’S CHRISTMAS” - Fri. & Sat, Jan. 20 & 21. Written by Saachiko and Dom Bagwili, this play was first produced by Los Angeles’s Japanese American National Museum. And though it’s set in a WWII relocation camp for Japanese Americans, its story is filled with lighthearted nostalgia. $22. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org IMAGE BY RYAN HIGA

SATURDAY, JANUARY 21 Q103 FM PRESENTS STEVE-O (OF JACKASS FAME) - Yep, the McCartney to Johnny Knoxville’s Lennon brings his brand of self-inflicted slapstick comedy to the Valley Isle. The show also features opening comics Chino LaForge (Maui’s own) and Ed Ka‘ahea (from Kauai), and is hosted by Michael C. Hall. Tickets available at Oceans (Kihei) and Bounty Music (Kahului), online at hightideconcerts.net and fla.vor.us/groovetickets, or by calling 1-855-2-FLAVOR. $35 advance. 7pm doors / 8pm show. Ocean’s Beach Bar & Grill (1819 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-2414

MAUI CLASSICAL DUO, CELLANO, PRESENT “PASSIONS OF THE HEART” - Cellist Silvina Samuel and pianist Lotus Dancer create “an aptly conceived marriage of cello and piano.” Their “Passions of the Heart” concert features “selections that run the gamut from tender romance to throbbing fire,” from composers including Schumann, Franck and Piazzolla. $15 suggested donation / $10 students. 7:30pm. Kihei Baptist Chapel (S. Kihei Rd. at Welakahao Rd.); 878-8684; lotusdancer66@gmail.com

SUNDAY, JANUARY 22 TEDXMAUI 2012 - Sun., Jan. 22. Because good ideas are worth spreading, Mauians host their own TEDx event (i.e. independently organized TED event). Hosted by president and CEO of PBS Hawaii, Leslie Wilcox and local hero Kainoa Horcajo. Guest speakers and performers include Susan Casey (editor in chief at O, The Oprah Magazine), Amy Cortese (an award winning journalist and author), Dr. Gary Greenberg (who studies moon sand collected during Jerem NASA’s Apollo missions), Jeremiah Grossman (a Maui High grad named one of InfoWorlds’ Top 25 (pro CTOs), Charles Hambleton (producer of the award-winning doco, The Cove), Hokulani Holt-Padilla (cul (cultural adviser to the MACC and a director of Punana Leo O Maui Ha Hawaiian Language Preschool), Dr. Pualani Kanaka’ole Kanahele (profes fessor of Hawaiian studies at the University of Hawaii), Lisa Kristine (a hum humanitarian photographer who’s worked with the United Nations), Jeff Kuhn (award-wining solar physicist), Dr. Jacob Liberman (a pioneer in the l fields of light, vision and consciousness), Dr. Elizabeth Kapu’uwailani Lindsey (an expert in cultural intelligence and Fellow of the National Geographic SociLi ety), Ekolu Lindsey (president of Maui Cultural Lands and son of Maui treasure Ed Lindsey), Dr. Art Medeiros (beloved biologist with the U.S. Geological Survey), W.S. Merwin (Mauian who in 2010 was appointed United States Poet Laureate), Vincent Mina (founder of Maui Aloha Aina Association, a collective of sustainable farmers), Carolyn Raffensperger (an env environmental lawyer and archaeologist), Paul Sutherland (global investment portfolio manag manager with an “investing without borders” style), Byron Washom (an alternative energy pio pioneer), and Lani and Pomai Weigert (mother-and-daughter owners of Ali’i Kula Lavender Lavender), plus performances by Paula Fuga and Maui Taiko. 7:30-9am (registration) / 9am 9am-6pm (programs) / 6-9pm (evening reception). $99 general / $75 students & s seniors. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (746 (7469); mauiarts.org / tedxmaui.com

TUESDAY, JANUARY 24 FREE ONSITE CORAL REEF NATURALIST PROGRAM - Every Thu., Fri., Sat., Mon. and Tue., visit the Pacific Whale Foundation’s free Coral Reef Information Station at Wailea’s Ulua Beach to learn fun facts about the fish you see while snorkeling the area. Sponsored by the Hawaii Tourism Authority. Free. 8-11:30am. Ulua Beach (Halealii Pl., Wailea); 249-8811 ext. 1; pacificwhale.org

MONDAY, JANUARY 23

PROJECT RUNWAY - The State Department of Transportation (DOT) invites the public to attend an informational meeting regarding the Kahului Airport Runway 2-20 Structural Improvements Project. The meeting’s purpose is to “inform the public about the current conditions... present several repair options that are being considered and discuss possible short-term and long-term effects... [and] provide the community an opportunity to identify and respond to areas of concern and interest.” Free. 6:30pm. Pomaikai Elementary School Cafeteria (4650 S. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 587-2160

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25 BLUES NIGHT WITH THE HOUSE SHAKERS - Every Wed. night, shake your money maker with The House Shakers; because everything is better shaken versus stirred–especially if you have (or want) the blues. No cover.

7:30pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

JANUARY 19, 2012

17

VANITY SALON BY JEFFIE HARRIS IS VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

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THE MOST TALENT UNDER ONE ROOF IN MAUI UI UI Open Monday - Saturday 9am-6pm

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FREERADICALS PROJEKT AND KAREN K AREN BE E 9PM

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JANUARY 19, 2012

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PICKS

REQUESTS

BY KEO EATON

3

4 5 6 7

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MONDAYS 8:00PM

11

RIHANNA Talk That Talk (Def Jam Recordings, 2011)

I never knew there were so many ways to say that you like sex–that is, until I listened to Rihanna’s latest album Talk That Talk. And needless to say, this album isn’t for the conservative. True to Rihanna form (you know, building on her earlier hits “Rude Boy” and “S&M”), just two of the deluxe album’s 15 tracks have sexual connotations muted enough to not totally offend virgin ears. As for the other 13 songs? Catchy beats and memorable hooks–when coupled with raunchy lyrics like “I love it when you eat it”–are likely to tune just about anyone into their inner slut. So much so, in fact, that you might find yourself obliviously singing along to suggestive cants about nibbling icing off of a birthday cake, or straight-up demands to “suck my cockiness, lick my persuasion.” (That said–and I speak from experience–I advise against ad lib karaoke when wearing headphones in public.) Sure, I’m as much of a fan as I am ready to throw dear Rhi-rhi under the bus

BLUES SPIRIT OF MAUI

ALL AGES NO COVER for contributing to the recent explosion of sociocultural whoredom. Nonetheless the album’s quickly become my guiltiest pleasure of 2012 thus far, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been playing it on loop– applauding her bold lyrical chops all the while. With Talk That Talk, Rhi-rhi’s consistent in keeping her content super sexually charged, but stylistically her captivating tunes are so multifaceted that they’re bound to resonate with a diverse set of music lovers. The album’s songs vary from its hip hop-heavy title track featuring Jay-Z, to the reggae-influenced jam, “You Da One,” to techie/dub step/pop hits like “We Found Love” and “Where Have You Been.” Loaded with banging club hits, the disc’s sure to be a favorite in schoolyards and Zumba classes alike. If you’re up to giving Talk That Talk a listen, first stock up on Q-tips–because Rhi-rhi’s talking will leave your ears feeling extra dirty. But hey, you’ll at least have learned a few new ways to say you like sex.

All albums reviewed in this space are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315)

KENNY ROBERTS

ALL AGES NO COVER

TUESDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

EVAN SHULMAN WEDNESDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

INDIO & AVI THURSDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

THE ELECTRIC SURFERS

Mahalo M ahalo to to our our million, million, trillion Facebook Facebook friends friends trillion and counting... counting... and

FRIDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

THE HOUSE SHAKERS SATURDAYS 8:00PM

WE LIKE YOU TOO!

ALL AGES NO COVER

LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 8PM - CLOSE AT BAR TOP ONLY, DINING ROOM EXCLUDED

f b k facebook.com/mauitime / iti

900 FRONT ST. +1-808-667-7400 JANUARY 19, 2012

19

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar

BY ANU YAGI

BIG SHOWS AN INTIMATE EVENING OF JAZZ - Thu., Jan. 19. See This Week’s Picks for more. $30.

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MOONLIGHT SERIES FEATURING HAPA - Fri., Jan. 20. Unless you live under a rock (not withstanding the fact that we live on a rock), you already know that Barry Flanagan and Ron Kuala‘au are one of Hawaii’s favorite musical duos. $30 / $45. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT - Fri., Jan. 20. With show-openers (and Oahu’s own!), Sing the Body. See This Week’s Picks for more. $23.50 / $28.50 / $55.50. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE THROWDOWNS WITH DJ BOOMSHOT - Fri., Jan. 20. ‘Stay HI’ with pop rock perfectionists, The Throwdowns. Ten percent of proceeds benefit Community Work Day Program. $15. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makwao Ave.); 572-0220; facebook.com/communityworkday / facebook.com/originsmusic / casanovamaui.com DJ THERON - Fri., Jan. 20. DJ Theron, an award-winning, San Diego-based turntablist is joined by Maui’s own DJ Blast for this special Maui Food Bank fundraiser. Entry with donation. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 8743779; stellablues.com STELLA BLUES’ SUPPER CLUB - Sat., Jan. 21. Recently, a most preceptive and musically immersed friend described Paula Fuga’s sound as being akin to legendary crooner Donny Hathaway, “not so much stylistically, but in the emotions her voice evokes.” At this show, Fuga is joined by her Dubkonscious bandmates, Mike Love (guitar) and Sam Ites (percussion). This trio’s a perennial favorite at any venue–and especially in the intimate setting of Stella’s “Supper Club”–and their performance is, simply, not-to-be-missed. 6pm dinner seating / 7:30pm show. $30 show-only / $60 with four-course dinner. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com Q103 FM PRESENTS STEVE-O (OF “JACKASS” FAME) - Sat., Jan. 21. See This Week’s Picks for more. Tickets available at Oceans (Kihei) and Bounty Music (Kahului), online at hightideconcerts.net and fla.vor. us/groovetickets, or by calling 1-855-2-FLAVOR. $35 advance. 7pm doors / 8pm show.

Ocean’s Beach Bar & Grill (1819 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-2414 MAUI CLASSICAL DUO, CELLANO, PRESENT “PASSIONS OF THE HEART” - Sat., Jan. 21. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15 suggested donation / $10 students. 7:30pm.

Kihei Baptist Chapel (S. Kihei Rd. at Welakahao Rd.); 878-8684; lotusdancer66@gmail. com TEDXMAUI 2012 - Sun., Jan. 22. See This Week’s Picks for more. 9am-6pm. $99 general / $75 students & seniors. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-

20

JANUARY 19, 2012

SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

STAGE KUMU KAHUA THEATRE PRESENTS “A JIVEBOMBER’S CHRISTMAS” - Fri. & Sat, Jan. 20 & 21. See This Week’s Picks for more. $22. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org STORYTELLING FESTIVAL: MAUI, HINA & KA HANA KAPA - Sun., Jan. 22. Performed in chant, dance and the art of storytelling, enjoy the legend of the demigod Maui lassoing the sun.

Free. 3pm. The Pa, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Unable to renew their contract with Hyatt Regency Maui Resort, this is your last chance (Thu. through Sat., Jan. 19 - 21) to check out this cirque show with a tropical twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions and mind-boggling contortionists. Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kama’aina). 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali); 667-4540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com HONOLULU THEATRE FOR YOUTH PRESENTS “BLUE” - Tue., Jan. 24. A whimsical new stage productioon by Annie Cusick Wood.

This 45-minute performance is recommended for keiki 3-years-old and older, and “introduces the idea of tolerance and understanding in an age-appropriate theatrical experience. The program is sponsored through a grant from the Friends of the Library of Hawaii, Marriott Resorts Hawaii, Ko Olina Hawaii, HMS Host, Meadow Gold Dairies, Hansen Distribution Group, Armstrong Produce, Roberts Hawaii, DFS Hawaii, and Toshiba Business Solutions.

Free. 10:30am. Wailuku Public Library (251 High St.); 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua! Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packags available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 1-877688-4800; mauitheatre.com

TICKETS ON SALE FIFTH ANNUAL MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL - Thu. through Mon., Jan. 26 through 30.

An over four-day happening featuring DJs, ecstatic dance, yoga, workshops, satsang with Ram Dass and live entertainment by the likes of Chris Berry and Michael Kang (of String Cheese Incident and Panjea fame), Jah Levi and David Starfire. Weekend passes include three nights of camping at Camp Oluwalu. $200 if purchased by Jan. 25 / $225 at door (if available). Kama’aina discount offered. Visit mysticislandfestival.com for more information.

SAVE THE DATE: CHAMPAGNE & CHOCOLATE WITH ED LANE - Thu., Jan. 26. Turnbull Fine Art invites you “to engage your senses during a delightful evening of ‘Champagne & Chocolate with Ed Lane.’” Gallery owner Christine Turnbull says, “The artwork of Maui artist Ed Lane is widely known as the ‘art of exuberance and the expression of delight’ and we want to celebrate his work with a show opening that is equally lively and vibrant as Ed and his work.” Lane moved to Maui 1994 to become a full time artist (after a successful 36-year career in advertising) and his “trademark use of cadmium red as a base coat with an overlay of a dozen other hues results in glowing landforms and back-lit foliage.” Free.

6-9pm. Turnbull Fine Art (137 Hana Hwy., Paia); 579-9385; turnbullfineart.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY MASTERS SERIES FEATURING DENNIS KAMAKAHI AND STEPHEN INGLIS - Thu., Jan 26. Each month, cooler-than-cool Uncle George Kahumoku hosts this winning series by opening with his candid storytelling and musical prowess. This month’s show features Dennis Kamakahi–who’s heralded as Hawaii’s greatest living songwriter–alongside Stephen Inglis. The featured pair celebrate the release of their new CD, “Waimaka Helelei.” $25 standard / $45 VIP (includes post-show talk story session with performers). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org JORMA KAUKONEN AND CHRIS SMITHER - Fri., Jan. 27 - Jorma Kaukonen of Hot Tuna and Jefferson Airplane fame is joined by acoustic blues master Chris Smither. Tickets available online, by phone, and at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku) and Lava Java (Kihei) $28 / $35 / $45 Gold Circle. 6pm doors / 7pm show.

Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 8964845; lazarbear.com DEREK WARFIELD & THE YOUNG WOLFE TONES - Fri., Jan. 27. Derek Warfield’s 40year career boasts 13 bestselling albums, and The Young Wolfe Tones were nominated as Ireland’s Best Traditional Irish Folk Group in 2009. $20 advance / $25 day-of. 7pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org BEN VEREEN - Fri., Jan. 27. Broadway staractor-singer-dancer and Tony Award winner, Ben Vereen is internationally renowned for his performance in Bob Fosse’s Pippin. $12 / $37 / $47. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org DJ VADIM’S HAWAII TROPI-STEP 2012 TOUR - Fri., Jan. 27. DJ Vadim, a famous U.K.based underground electronic/hip hop aficionado, makes a stop in Paia Town (part of Paia Fourth Friday festivities). Featuring live vocals

by Karen Be, plus performances by Helmet Conspiracy, DJ Tripp and DJ Nadi. $15. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 579-8085; charleysmaui.com SOJA IN CONCERT WITH ANUHEA AND THE GREEN - Sat., Jan. 28. Kicking off their 2012 North American tour promoting their latest effort “Strength to Survive,” Washington D.C.’s SOJA return to the isles. Joining them are Ha-

waii’s own Anuhea and The Green. 4:30pm gates / 5:30pm show. $40 advance / $50 day-of. A&B Amphitheater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org HAWAIIAN ISLANDS LAND TRUST’S 11TH ANNUAL BUY BACK THE BEACH BENEFIT - Sat., Jan. 28. Join mistresses of ceremonies Joni DeMello and Liz Morales (of Ahumanu fame) for a spectacular evening featuring culinary creations by Star Noodle, Aloha Mixed Plate, Old Lahaina Luau and Leoda’s Kitchen & Pie Shop, plus a private concert by Hapa. Plus, help the cause by bidding in their “Adventures for the ‘Aina” live auction (preview packages at hilt.org/auction2012). Sponsored by Mana Foods, Sempra Generation, Skyline EcoAdventures and Boeing. $150 per person / $1,200 table-of-eight. 5pm. Old Lahaina Luau (1251 Front St.); 244-5623 / hilt.org/bbtb SCREENING: HERITAGE FILM FESTIVAL PRESENTS “LYCHEE THIEVES” - Sun., Jan. 29. A cautionary tale about covetousness, “Lychee Thieves” reveals the humorous contentions which arise when locals fight over the bounty of a sweet lychee tree. $10. 3pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAUI POPS ORCHESTRA - Sun., Jan. 29.

Special guest pianist Hyperion Knight joins Maui’s own community orchestra for an evening of George Gershwin compositions. $10 / $25 / $35 / $45. Half-off ticket prices for keiki 12-years-old and younger. 3:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: “THE MANY FACES OF BULLYING” - Tue., Jan. 31. Seabury Hall Parents Organization presents a community event, “The Many Faces of Bullying,” which deals with bullying in Maui schools. Mitch Berman leads a panel of experts to guide a community discussion and answer questions. Parents, teachers and administrators from all Maui schools are encouraged to attend. Light refreshments served. Free. 6:30-8pm. Cooper House Dining Hall, Seabury Hall (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 280-9457 SAVE THE DATE: “OUR BEATS ARE BROKEN,” A SOURCE FUNDRAISER - Thu., Feb. 2. An evening of breakbeats and drum n’ bass with Keegan House, Aaron Jae and IMAT. (PS: The earlier you show up, the earlier the show starts. And, the longer you stay, the longer they play!) $5. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makwao Ave., Makawao); 572-0220; soundcloud.com/ keegan-house / fromthefloor.net / aaronjae. com / soundcloud.com/humtech SAVE THE DATE: SPCA MAUI’S 2ND ANNUAL EVENING FOR MAUI’S ANIMALS - - Fri., Feb. 3. An evening of humane education and camaraderie. Hear what’s new with Maui’s animal welfare groups and more about SPCA Maui. Free light pupus and no-host bar. 6-8pm.

Elleair Ballroom, Maui Beach Hotel (170 W. Kaahumanu Ave.); 280-0738; info@spcamaui.org SAVE THE DATE: WHALE TALES - Whale Trust, a local nonprofit organization whose “mission is to promote, support and conduct scientific research on whales and the marine environment, and broadly communicate the

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

1/19

1/20

1/21

1/22

1/23-1/25

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-9pm

DJ Kollision + k.s.k.

10pm; no cover

‘60s-‘80s Flashback Dance Party w/ DJ Z 10pm; no cover

NFL Playoffs / Sunday Skool Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Clay Mortensen, 5-9pm / WED - Teri Garrison 5-8pm; free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - The Jonah Trio, 8pm / Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

The Throwdowns w/ DJ Boomshot 9:30pm; $15

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

findings,” hosts a two-day educational event (the outgrowth of Whale Quest Kapalua).

Learn fascinating facts from world renowned scientists, photographers and filmmakers including Dr. Bruce Mate (Oregon State University professor and Marine Mammal Program director), Craig Matkin (biologist and director of the North Gulf Oceanic Society), Flip Niklin (world renowned photographer and co-founder of Whale Trust), Mark Ferrari (founder and director of the Center for Whale Studies), Dr. Dan Salden (co-founder of the Hawaii Whale Research Foundation), Ed Lyman, M.Sc. (marine mammal response manager for the Hawaiian Islands Humback Whale National Marine Sanctuary), and Dr. Jim Darling (co-founder of Whale Trust). Sponsored by Makana Aloha Foundation. $20 suggested donation. Ritz Carlont Kapalua (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 572-5700; whaletrust.org SNATAM KAUR SACRED CHANT CONCERT - Sun., Feb. 5. An international favorite, new age/world music phenom Snatam Kaur makes her Maui debut, joined by Maui’s renowned tabla player Daniel Paul and Urban Nature Music’s Todd Boston on lead guitar.

Come early for Indian pupus, desserts and chai, made available by Shyampria. Tickets available online or at Paia Yoga (161 Hana Hwy.). $25 advance / $30 door. 7pm. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 579-6480; spiritvoyage.com FOR THE LOVE OF MAUI 5K FUN RUN Tue., Feb. 14. A new Valley Isle Road Runner (VIRR) event, and benefit for The Kihei Youth Center and Hospice Maui. Residents and visitors alike are encouraged to participate. The course begins at Polo Beach (just South of the Fairmont Kea Lani) and runs South on Old

TUE - Willie K & Warehouse Blues Band, 9pm; $10 / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

Wavetrain feat.

Mark Johnstone & Friends 10pm; no cover

Danyel Alana & Damon Parillo 6-8pmpm; no cover

Welcome to Jamrock w/ Q103’s DJ Kamikaze 10pm

NFL

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Live Music 8-11pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

The House Shakers 10pm; no cover

NFL

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Quiz Night 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Junior Lacuesta & Friends 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Johnny Ringo / TUE - Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa / WED - Sebrina Barron (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close (all sets no cover)

Indio & Avi 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

The Electric Surfers 8:30pm; no cover

The House Shakers 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

MON - Blues Spirit of Maui, 8:30pm / TUE - Kenny Roberts, 8:30pm (all ages!) / WED - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 8:30pm (all ages)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

Makena Rd., before turning left onto Wailea Alanui and back to Polo Beach, looping twice.

Valentine’s Day-theme dress is encouraged.

Race starts at 5pm (just before sunset). Runners receive event T-shirt. Medals for age divisions. Door prizes. $20 VIRR members (with pre-registration by Feb. 1) / $25 non-members (with pre-registration by Feb. 1) / $30 everyone (with registration Feb. 1 through Feb. 13) / $40 race-day registration (cannot guarantee T-shirt). Packet pick-up at Moneypod Kitchen Feb. 13, 4-6:30pm.

Q103 PRESENTS THIRD WORLD - Sat., Feb. 18. Jamaica’s reggae ambassadors Third World return to Maui, with opening guests Paula Fuga and Mike Love. Tickets available online or at Ocean’s Bar & Grill (Kihei), Westside Vibes (Lahaina) and Bounty Music (Kahului).

6pm doors / 7pm show. $40 advance / $45 door. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 1-885-2-FLAVOR (352867); groovetickets.com

waii and around the world around Mother’s Day weekend. If you have a story about your mama that you’d like to share, you may submit it for consideration. Contributing authors who are selected can expect to have their stories edited to suit the show’s format, and may choose to be credited or remain anonymous. The deadline for entry has been extended to Feb. 1. For more information, visit mymamamonologues.com HAWAII HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS INVITED TO COMPETE IN NATIONAL POETRY RECITATION CONTEST - Honolulu Theatre for Youth (HTY) and the Hawaii State Foundation on Culture and the Arts invite high school students to compete in Poetry Out Loud: National Recitation Contest, presented in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts and the Poetry Foundation.

Schools are invited to participate in classroom and schoolwide contests, advancing to a Hawaii state competition on March 18 in Honolulu. The Hawaii state champion will receive $200 and an all-expenses-paid trip to Washington, DC, to compete for a $20,000 prize in the National Finals on May 14-15. To get involved, high school teachers should contact HTY at 839-9885 ext.

704 or e-mail edadmin@htyweb.org ART MAUI 2012 PROSPECTUS NOW ONLINE - Since its inception in 1979, Art Maui has grown to become one of the most pres-

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ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS TO PAT MASUMOTO’S “MY MAMA MONOLOGUES” - This annual staged reading–where stories are shared, songs are sung and digital stories are shown–is held at multiple locations in Ha-

tigious juried art exhibitions in the state. The 34th Art Maui Exhibition is scheduled to open Sun., Mar. 25 at the MACC’s Schaefer International Gallery, with jurying (Mar. 16 & 17) by Thomas Kolobe, one of Art Maui’s founders.

Interested in submitting your work? Check out the 2012 prospectus by visiting artmaui.com.

Revised items include the return of installation work (written proposals due Mar. 1) and the reinstated annual High School Senior Art Scholarship Awards Program (portfolios due Mar. 15). (PS: Further, the annual Art Maui Symposium–this year’s topic being “Art of the Juror”–is slated for Jan. 14. See Tickets on Sale for more information.)

EVENTS

THURSDAY, JANUARY 19 PICNIC WITH POKI - Enjoy live entertainment hosted by Braddah Poki of KPOA 93.5 FM, every third Thu. under the shade of the exceptional monkeypod tree on the historic Kaahumanu Church grounds. Bring your ‘ohana, something to sit on and–of course (no picnic complete without it)–your mea’ ai (i.e. lunchtime grindz).

Free. 11am. Kaahumanu Church (103 S. High St., Wailuku); 244-5189 OWAILA WITH SING THE BODY - The heavy-hitting Hawaiians of Owaila (Maui’s own) are joined by Sing the Body (who hail from Oahu; on-isle to open for The Airborne Toxic Event... see Big Shows for more). Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20 MAUI MALL CELEBRATES ARTS EDUCATION - Part of the mall’s performance series

JANUARY 19, 2012

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JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonzo 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Jamie Gallo / WED - Guest Performer (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 8-10pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 8-10pm; no cover

MON - Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUEWED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

LAHAINA CAFE

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

Pool Tournament 7-9pm Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

A Maui Made Trunk Show 4-10pm; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Neto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Mantis 9pm-close

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65 / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen 7-10pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm; / Big John, 10pm-12am (all sets no cover)

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65

OCEANS BAR & GRILL

mauimusicmecca presents guest DJ 10pm; no cover

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays, 10pm; $10

Jackass’s Steve-O 8pm; $35 advance

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

supporting Maui County schools’ music groups, Seabury Hall High School’s band presents a special show. Free. 5:30pm. Maui Mall (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); mauimall.com AMERICAN RED CROSS TRAINING: STANDARD FIRST AID - Learn emergency action steps and first aid procedures for injuries and sudden illnesses. Receive American Red Cross certification upon course completion.

Call or go online to register. $70. 4-8pm. American Red Cross; 45 N. Market Street, Suite A; $90; 1-800-733-2767; redcross.org MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAYS - Part of the Maui Town Parties series. This month’s theme is “Makwao Goes Surfing” and features lifesized whale tails on display (courtesy of Whale Trust), a “dry-land” surf clinic by the The Butterfly Effect, plus the one and only The Eazy playing at center stage.

Free. 6-9pm. Makawao Town (parking at the Makawao base yard, across St. Joseph’s Church; Makawao Hongwanji; two parking lots on Brewer Rd., the municipal parking lot behind the Makawao Public library, or the Komoda’s parking lot); 344-0247 THE BOOZE BRADDAHS - “Kick-ass blues and rock” by Gordon, Kenny, Mike (Caroll), Papa Joe and Jonathan, plus special guest artists. No cover. 8pm. Steel Horse Saloon (1234 Lower Main St., Wailuku); 243-2206 BREAK NIGHT - Get into the groove with DJ

Del Sol and Maui Hip Hop Movement b-boys.

No cover. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

SATURDAY, JANUARY 21 KANAKA HEKILI MOTORCYCLE CLUB’S 6TH ANNUAL GOLF TOURNEY - A threeperson team, best ball scramble with a portion of proceeds benefitting Maui Veterans of Foreign Wars. Closest-to-the-pin and longest drive each win $100. First, second and third place teams win $600, $300 and $150, respectively.

Plus, hole-in-one prizes include $10,000 (which was accomplished at their fourth annual tourney) and a Harley Davidson motorcycle. $100 per golfer. Cost includes green and cart fees, a catered lunch at the Kihei VFW grounds, two raffle tickets, two mulligans and three chances at closest-tothe-pin. 6am check-in / 7am shotgun start. Elleair Maui Golf Club; Jim Lapham: 264-0168; kanakahekili.com HALAU HULA O KEOLA ALI’IOKEKAI - Live performance. Free. 1pm. Maui Mall (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); mauimall.com A MAUI MADE TRUNK SHOW - This special sale–part of a new monthly series, held at sunset–features only made-on-Maui items, including jewelry, clothing, swimwear, accessories, skin care, photography, household items and more. Complementary valet. Cash bar. Dinner

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Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - NFL / TUE - Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

served upstairs. No cover. 4-10pm. Longhi’s Lahaina (888 Front St.); 667-2288; longhis.com THE FREERADICALS PROJEKT WITH KAREN BE - Whoa. The Freeradicals Projekt’s CD release party last week was mad cool, huh? If you’re still feeling funkalicious and crave a hana hou, here’s your chance. 9pm.

Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 8793133; threesbarandgrill.com

SUNDAY, JANUARY 22 MAUI OCEANFRONT MARATHON - Now in its fourth installment, the Maui Oceanfront Marathon runs between Wailea and Lahaina.

Runs include an early start for marathon walkers, a half-marathon, 5K, 10K and 15K. Walkers welcome in all events. Register online or on Sat., Jan. 21 at the Pioneer Inn. Visit mauioceanfrontmarathon.com for details.

MONDAY, JANUARY 23 FREE TALK: “CROWN JEWELS OF HAWAI’I: THE CORAL REEFS” - It’s the pedagogy of polyps, every Mon. (through Apr. 23) at the sanctuary’s learning center. Free. 2-3pm.

Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary (726. S. Kihei Rd.); 8792818 ext. 21; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov PUBLIC MEETING REGARDING THE KAHULUI AIRPORT RUNWAY 2-20 STRUCTURAL IMPROVEMENTS - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 6:30pm. Pomaikai Elementary School, cafeteria (4650 S. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 587-2160

TUESDAY, JANUARY 24 FREE COOKING CLASS: “VEGETARIAN SOLUTIONS FOR BETTER HEALTH” - Each

WED - Ibiza on Maui w/ DJ Peak 10pm; no cover

Tue., vegetarian Chef Jessica Oshier leads a special cooking class that provides educational materials, practical tips, recipes, cooking demonstrations, and–of course–free samples.

This week’s lesson: “Keeping Warm!” including citrus pistachio quinoa, mushroom gravy and three bean salad. Free. 5:30-6:30pm.

Down to Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 8772661; downtoearth.org “ALL ABOUT PALMS” WITH WILLIAM MERWIN AND LELAND MIYANO - The Maui Association of Landscape Professionals hosts two amazing guest speakers, including Willaim Merwin, the 2010 U.S. Poet Laureate who’s lived and gardened on Maui for over 30 years, focusing on cultivating palms from around the world, as well as Leland Miyano, an artist, landscape designer and author from Oahu. Free.

6:30pm pupus / 7pm program. Maui Community Service Building, University of Hawaii Maui College (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); malp. org@gmail.com / merwinconservancy.org

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25 OCCUPY MAUI - Ninety-nine percent of you (i.e. “you” as in the public–you don’t have to leave one percent of your person at home; though that and then some would sure be nice after holiday indulgences) are invited to attend Occupy Wall Street Maui’s general assembly meetings, held each Wednesday. 5-7pm. The Great Lawn, University of Hawaii Maui College (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului) WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS! - Every Wed., The Shops at Wailea hosts WOW! (Wailea on Wednesdays!) which features famous local performers in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. This week, Au’s Shaolin Arts Society helps usher in “The Year

JANUARY 19, 2012

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SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

TBA 9pm-12am; no cover

Kenny Roberts 9pm-12am; no cover

WED - Clay Mortensen, 6-9pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

The Booze Braddahs 8pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

DJ Theron and DJ Blast (a benefit for the Maui Food Bank)

Supper Club feat.

Paula Fuga, Mike Love & Sam Ites 7:30pm; $30/$60

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

The Silver Spurs Band 9pm-1am; $4

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

WED - Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

of the Dragon” with a traditional lion dance and martial arts demonstration. Free. 6-8:30pm.

The Shops at Wailea (Wailea Alanui Dr.); 891-6770; theshopsatwailea.com; @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Thu., Damien Awai., 3-5pm / Garret & Peter, 6-8:30pm.

Every Fri., Garrett, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sat., Tim, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sun., Fausto, 3-5pm / Damon & Tim, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Brian, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika, 6-8:30pm. Every Tue., Bob Deleon, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm.

Every Wed., Brian, 3-5pm / Kahala & Daniel, 6-8:30pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina; 662-2900) HULA GRILL - Every Thu., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Alika Nako’oka, 1:30-3:30pm / Kaniala Masoe, 4-6pm / Kulewa 6:30-9pm. Every Fri., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Kawika, Roy and Albert, 6:30-9pm. Every Sat., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Ron, Ikaika & Damon, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810 4-6pm / Ben & Glenn, 6-9:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am1pm / Glenn, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio, 6:30-9pm. Every Mon., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Kawika Lum Ho, 1:30-3:30pm / Armadillo, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio & Josh Kahula, 6:30-9pm. Every Tue., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Jarrett Roback & Junior Lacuesta, 1:30-3:30pm / Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 5-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. Every Wed., Ernest Pua’a, 111am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:303:30pm / Peter DeAquino, 4-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. (Whalers Village, Ka’anapali; 667-6636) LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jar-

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover)

MON - Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like A Pirate Night

Owaila w/ Sing The Body 9pm; no cover

Break Night w/ DJ Del Sol and Maui Hip Hop Movement b-boys; no cover

The Freeradicals Projekt and Karen Be, 9pm

Gina Martinelli Band 8pm; no cover

WED - The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

House of Reggae 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

closed

MON through WED - closed

NFL / Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON - NFL / TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

ret & Wilson. Every Fri., JD & Friends. Every Sat., JD & Harry. Every Sun., Merv Oana. All sets 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali; 6614495) LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Every Thu., Howard Ahia, 6-8pm. Every Fri., Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm. Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” karaoke with Troy, 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall; 661-0808) PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Every Thu., Greg di Piazza featuring Alana Cini, 5:308:30pm. Every Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki, 5:308:30pm. Every Wed., JD on the Rocks, 5-8pm.

(658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 661-3636) R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live Jazz. (4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889) SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu, 7-9pm. Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina, 7-9pm. Every Sat., Coehlo Morrison, 7-9pm. Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina, 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili; 669-1500)

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA (1913 S. Kihei Rd.) - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo, 7pm. Every Mon., The Jonah Trio, 8pm. Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen, 7pm. Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm [January is “Chicks Who Kick Ass Month.” This week: “Point of No Return” (1993)]. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-1011) HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu., Junior Lacuesta, 4-8pm. Every Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm. Every Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-1250) KAI WAILEA - Every Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Ryan Robinson, 6-8:30pm. Every Sat., Kanoa Kukaua, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Tom Conway, 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Francois, 6-8:30pm.

(3750 Wailea Alanui; 875-1955) LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Neto & Barbara,

8-11pm. Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2, 6:309:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30m.

Every Tue., Rick Scanlan, 7-11pm. Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944) MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat., Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., The Hula Honeys, 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-6666) MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu., Willie K, 7-9pm. Fri., Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm.

Sat., Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm. Sun., The Celtic Tigers feat. Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm. Mon., Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm. Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm. Wed., Willie K, 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131) SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith, 4-6pm. Every Fri, Randall Rospond, 4-6pm. Every Sat., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Sun., Viva La Rumba, 4-6pm. Every Mon., Kanoa Kukaua, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Sebrina Barron, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-6444) STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., Ah-Tim, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm. Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz, 4-6pm.

Every Tue., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-3779)

CENTRAL/UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu., Joe Conte, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sat., Live Argentinian music, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 6:30-8:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6323) CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY - Every Thu., Sun. & Tue., Francois, 6pm-close. Every Sun., Fausto, 9am-1pm. (500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului; 873-6555) CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON Sat., Danyel Alana & Damon Parillo, 6-8pm.

(142 Hana Hwy., Paia; 879-8085) KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm. Every Mon., Open Mic Night with hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm. Every Tue., Clay Mortensen, 5-8pm. Every Wed., Teri Garrison, 5-8pm / Free Karaoke Night with host Braddah Francis, 8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001)

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime. com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

JANUARY 19, 2012

25

FILM

Extremely Odd and Incredibly Bad New children’s film about 9/11 is a complete disaster

BY BARRY WURST II Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Zero ★s Rated PG13/129 Min

Y

ou can’t make a whimsical children’s film out of 9/11, but of course someone tried. The result is Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, a very bad movie that grows even worse with the passing of each scene.

Here’s the story: a boy living in New York (played by Thomas Horn in his film debut) is grieving over the death of his father (Tom Hanks), a jeweler who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and constantly encouraged his shy, eccentric son to branch out and meet total strangers. It turns out Dad left a mysterious key in his closet, which inspires his son to go on a citywide quest to find the lock it belongs to. This journey into the city leads him to a parade of wacky characters and also causes him to relive the horrors of Sept. 11, 2001.

The film is overstuffed with cutesy details,

26

JANUARY 19, 2012

like how the boy always walks with a tambourine, meets a man (played by Max Von Sydow) who never speaks but has “Yes” and “No” written on his hands and always writes down his running comments. By the film’s end, we also get a Tae Kwan Do/oxymoron duel, a home-made 9/11 pop-up book and other touches that are what-were-they-thinking? goofy. Added queasily to the mix are horrifying scenes like a recording of a 9/11 caller before he dies and the sight of Hanks falling to his death from the tower.

The whole thing left a real bad taste in my mouth. There are ways to deal with this topic that are smart and honest but the Harriet the Spy meets United 93 approach is just dreadful, as well as distasteful and stupid. Horn overplays every scene, seeming like he just finished his first child acting class in an irritating, trying-too-hard performance. Hanks overdoes the winking to the audience in another awe-shucks turn that undercuts what a thoughtful, quietly impressive actor he can be.

Sandra Bullock plays his wife and does what she can as the film’s most implausible character–her big reveal at the end is supposed to be touching but can be viewed

as either child abuse or pure idiocy on her part. Von Sydow keeps his dignity intact by having no dialogue and, while his work has been gaining acclaim, receiving an Oscar for his role in this movie would be an insult to the career of this legendary actor.

It would be like honoring him for his performance in Strange Brew.

One of the year’s most unpleasant films, it exploits the horrors of 9/11 in cheap, low brow ways and can’t balance the horrible realities of the terrorist attacks with fanciful story and character touches. Modern fable or not, I couldn’t believe any of it but was awestruck by how remarkably wrongheaded it is.

At least the awful “Remember Me” only utilized 9/11 to squeeze tears out of a single scene. Tobey Keith music videos were never this shameless.

Who needs tear jerking?

If seeing this helps someone heal over the events of 9/11, then great. Movies can and should provide catharsis and comfort. Here, I was struck by what a phony experience this offers and I didn’t allow this wretched tear jerker to jerk a single tear out of me.

I know this was based on a book: granted, the “offbeat” moments may work on the written page but fail when made literal. Hanks was in the controversial Radio Flyer, a children’s fantasy about child abuse, a film that only half worked, unlike this one, where nothing works. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1531f

FILM

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY ANU YAGI

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (2D) - PG - THU (4:15), 7:05, 9:40.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00. SAt -SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 10:00. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 10:00.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - R - THU (3:15), 6:30, 10:00.

Haywire - R - FRI (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45. SAt -SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (4:15), 7:15, 9:45.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU (3:45), 6:45, 9:45. FRI (12:45, 3:45), 6:45, 9:45. SAt -SUN (12:45), 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. MONWED (3:45), 6:45, 9:45.

Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R- FRI (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:55. SAt -SUN (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:55. MON-WED (4:30), 7:30, 9:55.

We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (4:55). SAt -SUN 4:55. MON-WED (4:55).

The Adventures of Tintin (3D) - PG - THU (12:05, 2:25), 7:20, 9:35. FRI-SUN (12:05, 2:30), 7:20, 9:35. MON-WED (2:30), 7:20, 9:35.

The Artist - PG 13 - FRI (11:40, 1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. SAt -SUN (11:40, 1:55), 4:15, 6:40, 9:05. MON-WED (1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05.

Beauty and the Beast (2D) - G- THU-FRI (4:30).

FRI (4:30). SAt -SUN 4:30. MON-WED (4:30).

Beauty and the Beast (3D) - G- THU (2:15), 6:45, 9:00. FRI-SUN (12:00, 2:15), 6:45, 9:00.

MON-WED (2:15), 6:45, 9:00.

Carnage - R - THU (12:15, 2:20, 4:45), 6:50, 8:55.

The Darkest Hour (2D) - PG13- THU (5:05).

The Darkest Hour (3D) - PG13- THU (12:35, 2:50), 7:35, 9:50. FRI-WED 9:45.

The Descendants - R - THU-SUN (1:50, 4:25), 7:15, 9:55. MON-WED (1:50, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55.

The Devil Inside - R - THU (11:50, 2:05, 4:40), 7:30, 9:30. FRI (11:50, 2:05, 4:40), 6:50, 9:30.

SAt -SUN (11:50, 2:05), 4:40, 6:50, 9:30. MONWED (2:05, 4:40), 6:50, 9:30.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - FRI (11:30, 2:25, 5:20), 8:15. SAt -SUN (11:30, 2:25), 5:20, 8:15. MON-WED (2:25, 5:20), 8:15.

Haywire - R - FRI (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:50.

SAt -SUN (12:30, 2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:50. MONWED (2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:50.

Hugo (2D) - PG - FRI (5:00). SAt -SUN 5:00.

MON-WED (5:00).

Hugo (3D) - PG - FRI-SUN (11:35, 2:20), 8:00.

MON-WED (2:20), 8:00.

Joyful Noise - PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:10), 7:00, 9:40. SAt -SUN (1:30), 4:10, 7:00, 9:40.

MON-WED (1:30, 4:10), 7:00, 9:40.

My Week with Marilyn- R - THU (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45.

New Year’s Eve - PG 13 - THU (3:55), 9:15.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU-SUN (135, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. MONWED (1:35, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00.

War Horse - PG - THU (11:30, 2:30, 5:30), 8:30.

FRI (1:45, 5:05), 8:30. SAt -SUN (1:45), 5:05, 8:30. MON-WED (1:45, 5:05), 8:30.

We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45. FRI (1:40, 4:25), 7:05. SAt -SUN (1:40), 4:25, 7:05. MON-WED (1:40, 4:25), 7:05.

Young Adult - R - THU (1:45), 6:40.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Descendants - R - THU 1:30, 4:05, 7:15.

FRI-SAT 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:45. SUN 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00. MON-WED 1:50, 4:20, 7:00.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:05, 2:00, 4:45, 7:35, 10:05. SUN 11:05, 2:00, 4:45, 7:25. MON-WED 1:00, 4:05, 7:05.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU 1:15, 4:15, 7:05. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30, 10:15. SUN 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30.

MON-WED 1:45, 4:30, 7:30.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU 1:00, 4:10, 7:20.

Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R- FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:45, 10:00. SUN 11:15, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:45. MON-WED 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:45.

War Horse - PG - THU 1:05, 4:05, 7:00.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked PG - THU 12:45, 2:50, 5:00, 7:10, 9:20. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, 10:10. SUN-WED

- Thriller - Based on the hit novel by Swedish journalist Stieg Larsson, who died just before his books became famous. Trivia: the book’s original title in Swedish is “Män som hatar kvinnor,” which translates to “Men Who Hate Women.” 95 min.

NEW THIS WEEK THE ARTIST - PG 13 - Romance - A silent film star grapples with his waning fame as newfangled “talkies” become all the rage. Shot in black and white. 100 min.

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE - PG 13 - Drama - Based on the book by the same title by American author Jonathan Safran Foer (not to be confused with Anu Yagi’s Aussie obsession, John Safran). See this week’s Film Critique by Barry Wurst II. 129 min.

Red Tails

HAYWIRE - R - Thriller - Hell hath no fury like an elite chic soldier scorned–and pay back’s (literally) a bitch. Starring Gina Carano and Ewan McGregor. 108 min.

RED TAILS - PG 13 - Action - The inspiring story of African American pilots in the then-experimental Tuskegee training program and their WWII heroism (read: bring a box of tissues and start saving up for flight lessons). Starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard. 125 min.

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING - R - Fantasy - Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene, a vampire warrioress who does a bunch of vampire warrioress stuff. 88 min.

NOW SHOWING THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN - PG - Animation - Directed by Steven Spielberg (his first-ever animated film), this flick follows a young journalist, Tintin, and his dog Snowy. Based on Les Aventures de Tintin, a comic series by Belgian artist Georges Remi (a.k.a. Herge), which have sold over 200 million copies in 50 languages. 107 min.

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED - PG - Animated - Squirrelkabobs!

The Chipmunks and Chimpettes get stranded on a deserted topical island–and soon find it isn’t deserted at all (big surprise). I wonder if the natives will Cook them? 87 min.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - G - Animated From a little town in a quiet village, this tale as old as time returns in 3D. 84 min.

CONTRABAND - R - Action - In Iceland, Baltasa Kormakur starred in the original 2009 version of this movie, Reykjavik-Rotterdam. In America, Kormakur’s the director and Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi and Kate Beckinsale star. 110 min.

THE DARKEST HOUR - PG 13 - Thriller - Who cares about Vladimir Putin? Aliens are attacking Russia! 89 min.

THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy Whoa, whoa, whoa. A Golden Globe-winning movie filmed in Hawaii (and though we’ve already qualified it’s award-winning–no, Adam Sandler’s not in it), about Hawaii (seriously), written by a Hawaiian (it’s based on the critically acclaimed debut novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings)? And it’s not Get A Job? And it stars George Clooney? What the hell more do you need to know before you go?

(And how many more question marks will it take before our point is made???) 115 min.

THE DEVIL INSIDE - R - Horror - A demonically possessed mother and daughter ride their exorcise bikes through Vatican City! 83 min.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO - R

HUGO - Directed by some guy named Martin Scorsese, this already film is based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law.

127 min.

IRON LADY - PG 13 - Drama - Sorry, super hero geeks. This flick isn’t the Catwoman to Iron Man’s Batman. “Just when you thought you were done being newly impressed with Meryl Streep, she embodies and completely captures Margaret Thatcher,” says Barry Wurst II. “The numerous historical recreations aren’t always shown in a way that clearly demonstrates their importance but they’re certainly exciting in they way they’re staged.” 105 min.

JOYFUL NOISE - PG 13 - Musical - Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton and Kris Kristofferson star.

For better or worse, that’s all you need to know.

133 min.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - PG 13 - Action - The real impossible mission lies in whether this movie can resurrect Tom Cruise from the Hollywood whack list. (No, Tom. You are not a “thetan” trapped in a “meat body.”

You’re a goddamned movie star and we miss you.

Well, kind of.) If you miss Maverick, too, blame L. Ron Hubbard. 132 min.

NEW YEAR’S EVE - PG 13 - Romantic Comedy - Look, I don’t mean to be so bah-humbug, but ensemble casts make it really hard to suspend disbelief. Add to that this flick’s a feel-good holi-

11:00, 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00.

Contraband - R - THU-SAT 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:25, 9:45. SUN-WED 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:25.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - R - THU 12:30, 3:45, 7:00, 10:15.

Iron Lady - PG 13 - THU-SAT 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30. SUN-WED 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU 11:00, 11:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4:30, 5:15, 7:15, 8:00, 10:45. FRI-SAT 11:100, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. SUN-WED 11:100, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15.

Red Tails - PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:15, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00. SUN-WED 11:15, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20.

Underworld: Awakening (3D) - R- FRI 12:01am, 11:00, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 10:10. SAT 11:00, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 10:10. SUN-WED 11:00, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Contraband - R - THU (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. SAt -SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

Joyful Noise - PG 13 - THU (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45. FRI (1:15, 4:15), 7:05, 9:55. SAt -SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:05, 9:55. MON-WED (1:15, 4:15), 7:05, 9:55.

Red Tails - PG 13 - FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

SAt -SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:50. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU (1:00, 4:00, 6:45, 9:45.

day hurl-fest, and it’s doubly doomed in our book.

Directed by Garry Marshall (who’s really exercising originality, given his other major credit is Valentine’s Day). Starring Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Robert De Niro, friend of the paper Zac Effron, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Alyssa Milano, Sienna Miller, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ryan Seacrest–can I please just stop here? 118 min.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS - PG 13 - Action - Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) and Watson (Jude Law) are back for more ‘splosions. 129 min.

WAR HORSE - PG 13 - Drama - “Experience [WWI] through the eyes of [Joey, a] long suffering and supernaturally strong horse,” writes Barry Wurst II. 146 min.

WE BOUGHT A ZOO - PG - Family - Because the world isn’t ready for We Bought A Poo. Starring Matt Damon and Scarlet Johansson. 123 min.

LAST CHANCE CARNAGE - R - Black Comedy - Based on God of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza, this flick stars Jodie Foster, John C. “For Your Health” Reilly, Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz. Directed by Roman Polanski. 133 min.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN - R - Drama - Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne) kept a journal while gophering on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl (a film which famously paired Sir Laurence Oliver and Marilyn Monroe), and during that time, he spent an idyllic week with Monroe (hence the title). Clark went on to become a famous filmmaker, his journal was later published as a book, and his accounts of his week with Marilyn were made into this movie. Rough life, huh? 96 min.

YOUNG ADULT - R - Black Comedy - Spoiler alert: the moral of this Diablo Cody story is that no matter what poignant lessons life may proffer, that bitchy prom queen will never, ever change.

In fact, she gets worse. Much worse. Also, writers are solipsistic drunks. Agreed! 94 min. ■

JANUARY 19, 2012

27

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JANUARY 19, 2012

ometimes, this little island sure does feel big,” mused me n’ Scrappers, during yet another late night spent making newspapers and commiseration. It’s a funny thing to feel when you live on the proverbial small island (and call it twisted hometown pride, but I think our isle’s worthy of emphasizing the definite article). And lately, this little/big mire’s got me thinking...

Maui’s a small, 727 square-mile island where the town you work in oft dictates the town you live in (and vice versa)–or at least, the car you drive and the coastal commutes you make. So big ups, Upcountry. High five, Hana Highway haulers; Kihei crusaders. And whew, Westsiders–you guys get ‘em da worst, as The Pali might as well be the OGG. But this little/big thing’s more than just the lay of the land.

Maui’s a small, spastic island where you avoid Walmart rush hour (i.e. always)–and not because of any high maka maka1 principle, but because you simply no mo’ ‘nough time fo’ talk story with (inevitably) five longtime-no-sees, four classmates, three exes, two eh brahs, and your auntie’s friend’s first cousin. And then again it’s a small island that has rush hours and things called Walmart.

But this little/big thing’s more than just when-you-when-grad (i.e. high school) and from-where; more than six degrees of separation on steroids.

Maui’s a small, cosmopolitan island where nobody bats an eye whether you’re a stumbling bum or Hollywood elite–and so much so that, latter and former alike call it home. Ho hum, there’s Alice Cooper/Mick Fleetwood/ Woody Harrelson/James Hetfield/Helen Hunt/Willie Nelson/Oprah/Owen Wilson/ whoever. No big deal. (OK, in truth, we all know we play nonchalant ‘cause it’s the cool thing to do.) And anyway, it takes panache to survive on an island like this; so who on Maui isn’t a local celebrity in their own right?

But this little/big thing’s more than whether you’re a tourist/transient/transplant or poi dog native; more than whether you’re famous, infamous or invisible.

Maui’s a small island where what would elsewhere be quaint is qualitative. A small island where a penchant for our potpourri traditions also allows for nepotism, be it for better or worse. A small island where the now-grown-up kids of couples who met at Casanova’s Ladies’ Night now go to Casanova’s Ladies’ Night themselves. A small island where you need to individuate either father or daughter when speaking of Mayor Tavares2. A small island where most of your childhood friends move away to college and never come back; and where most of the friends you make thereafter hail from somewhere else and therefore liable to leave, too.

But this little/big thing’s more than that stuff.

And all that stuff’s just modern triviality (never mind without mention of every inextricable eco-

logical woe) written just for laughs (well, kind of).

Because really, when this little island feels big it’s because it has big issues. Issues burgeoning for centuries on the broken back of a convolutedly tragic history. The indigenous overthrown; nonpareil endemism, annihilated; cultural homogen/Hollywoodization; World War; whatever else.

Man, it’s hard to get a handle on our back story long enough to try to tell our current story.

I guess I’m leading up to this: I should be writing a column following up on last week’s cover story, “This Land is My Land, This Land is Your Land. The condemnation of Happy Valley’s shanty town; and how in it you’ll find Hawai’i.”

“Dude, I don’t wanna... I just wanna write something lighthearted,” I told Scrappers.

You know, something about how the landing craft that’s run aground on Sugar Beach out to be turned into a party boat. Or about how (OMG!) this SOPA thing is, like, totally pointing out my Wiki crutch. Or anything.

“Is it because you don’t want to, or because you’re tired?”

Scrappers got me. Again. And always when I need it most.

“Yeah, man. I am tired.” Four solid, stinking days (and then some) holed up in the office has a way of sucking the life out of you, heartbreaking story or no.

And of course I want to write more about it (and will, as the story develops); and here in this column ache to tell you all the ways I fucked up, of all the things that hit the cutting room floor that shouldn’t, of all the notes that never made it to the page in the first place. It wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t right either. I could have told a better story. A clearer, more concise story. Because in all the overwhelming confusion, it was only after a good night’s sleep that the big ideas began to coalesce. Still, I’m having a hard time getting a handle on it, though I’m trying to.

But it’s hard when everything feels big and I feel so little.3 [1] As irony would have it, “high maka maka” is likely the Hawaiian Pidginization of “high muckety-muck,” which itself is an American bastardization of the Amerind Chinook words “hiu muckamuck” (which according to Websters actually meant something more like “provisions”).

[2] And for whatever it’s worth, while MauiTime as an organization endorsed now-and-again Mayor Alan Arakawa–and caught both hell and hurrah for illustrating then-Mayor Charmaine Tavares as a zombie on our 2010 Halloween cover–I myself still voted for Tavares.

[3] Just when I start to feel far too self piteously dramatic, all y’all’s uplifting feedback (see page 3) pours in. Truly, friends, it’s been my lifeline these last few days. Thank you. ■

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid

anu@mauitime.com

To share or save: mt.hy.pr/1531k

HOROSCOPE

Sign Language

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions on page 4

1–D: “The word ‘compassion’ appears in the Maui PD motto, and we take that very seriously.”

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Going it alone is noble and brave, but in this case totally unnecessary. What’s your goal here, to be a martyr, or actually accomplish what you’re looking to do? If you just want people to feel bad for you when you (probably) fail, continue on as you have. But if you’d rather get to where you’re going, it’s time to find some allies who can help you on your way and share in the joy (and spoils) of success. That’s a rewarding end, and incidentally much more fun than the path you’re on. Pursue it.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20

People make all sorts of zany excuses for their bad or weird behavior. Because you’re so quirky and open-minded, yourself, you’ll often simply accept these at face value, no questions asked. In this case, however, questions really should be asked. It’s time to put aside your dislike of (potential) confrontation, and steel yourself to demand some honest answers. Put on your most skeptical thinking cap and reflect on how things really aren’t adding up, then work on getting to the real story—because otherwise the person losing the most in this equation will be you.

often be heard as a no, anyway, because so many people are (unfortunately) naturally inclined to assume the worst. It makes you occasionally reluctant to voice your concerns because they’ll be taken to mean much more than you’re saying, when they’re really all there is. That shouldn’t deter you, though, since those concerns are mostly valid and worth discussing. However, practicing ways of telling people what’s on your mind without them flipping out or feeling rejected is probably a very good idea—and this is a great week to do exactly that.

2–A: Prohibits the consumption of alcohol at the new South Maui Community Park in Kihei.

3–C: Those responsible for killing four endangered Hawaiian Monk Seals on Molokai and one on Kauai.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Stay classy, Virgo. Even if you’re sorely tempted to spar with the catty people in your life and show them just how cruelly sharp your tongue can be, escalating negativity right now (or anytime, really) isn’t in your best interest. Winning a verbal fencing match (as you almost certainly would) might be momentarily satisfying, but ultimately pointless and possibly highly detrimental to your long-term happiness and wellbeing. Interestingly, something that’d really rub them the wrong way is simply being cordial and excusing yourself, demonstrating just how unruffled you are by their crappy comments. This week, try that.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Sometimes we don’t know just how weird we are until someone else holds up a mirror or provides a new perspective on our actions—as is likely to happen to you this week. It only then becomes obvious just how odd we all are—but it’s a thing to be celebrated, not be ashamed about. Your eccentricities are precisely what make you interesting. Learning you have one or two more than you thought is awesome, not terrible, news.

Being “normal” is a myth, and a horribly boring one at that. Be glad you don’t remotely qualify. The rest of us (the interesting ones who matter, anyway) certainly are.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

People are designed to screw up—ideally more so when we’re young and less so when we get older, sure, but since mistakes are the best way to learn, we should hope we never stop making them on a pretty regular basis. If you’re not screwing up, it’s because you’re not taking enough risks or challenging yourself enough. Excelling at being stuck in a rut isn’t a great place to be. This week, see what you can do to start making more mistakes—and thus learning and growing more. Don’t be afraid to fail—it’s all part of the process.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

When what you have to offer is rejected, it’s almost always because you just weren’t offering it to the right person. There’s no need to feel too awful about that. However, it’s good to occasionally check in and make sure that what you’re really putting out there is as wonderful and desirable as you think it is. Look at the whole package and try to imagine how you stack up compared to whatever else your intended recipient(s) might encounter, not so you can feel bad, but so you can, if necessary, sweeten the deal.

It might not currently be as sweet as you think.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Remember, some people have no lives to speak of. They have plenty of time to waste on truly ridiculous or pointless stuff, much of which may turn out to be extremely aggravating or time-consuming for you. There’s not much you can do about this kind of thing, because really any energy you throw towards the situation will only be fuel for the fire, and make matters worse. Be thankful you have a life, and try to let all these annoyances roll off your back whilst you go about living it. Eventually these particular sources of stress will fade away.

They’ll be replaced by new ones, surely—but your practice dealing with these, now, will serve you well, later.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Even when you’re not saying no, voicing anything negative can

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Whenever you put something out into the world for the first time, something that’s really important to you, it’s natural to feel a bit scared and vulnerable. That anxiety shouldn’t keep you from doing it, though. Don’t let your understandable cold feet keep you from taking the risk in front of you, and letting people judge for themselves what they think about it. Sure, some probably won’t like it or see it the way you do; that’s par for the course. I’m betting that more will enjoy or appreciate what you have to offer than you think, and that the good that comes your way as a result will outweigh the bad by at least three to one. Go for it, already.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

We already know you’re so cool you wear sunglasses at night and you’re amazing in every way. Here’s the problem: that doesn’t make you particularly approachable. Since you really want to be approached right now, you need to make an effort to show off your dorkier side, be more vulnerable, and let mere mortals realize that you’re not some awesome sex god (even if you secretly are), but just a human being. That doesn’t mean censoring yourself or pretending to be less awesome than you are, just showing off some of your flaws and needs, too.

Ironically, they’ll make you much more attractive, not less.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

You’re always in favor of telling the truth but surely you’ve noticed that honesty is not always the best policy? It sometimes causes a lot more suffering and trouble than it’s worth.

Obviously, being forthright should still be your M.O., but in some rare cases, keeping a secret is better for all concerned. If doing so will spare feelings and not cause any serious harm, then you must resist your natural urges to blurt out the truth and keep your mouth shut this time around. No one would thank you for spilling the beans, so why don’t you try locking this one in the vault for once?

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Facebook-stalking someone you’re interested in is generally considered to be a mostly accepted moral gray area. However, going beyond that is still crossing a line that ought to be respected. You’re probably sorely tempted to violate boundaries this week, but you must resist that temptation. Since you can’t unlearn whatever you discover, and you can’t mention it (because that would expose your egregious nosiness), it’s probably better to mind your own business and wait until information is proffered freely. If there’s something you simply must know now, I suggest finding out the old-fashioned way: ask.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

JANUARY 19, 2012

29

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Sale good thru Feb.15,2012

Spa808.357.3303 CALLDay Kaatee

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Contact brad@mauitime.com or call (808) 283-3260 for more information.

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40-60% OFF ALL ITEMS LIQUIDATION SALE AT ALL LOCATIONS! t 8"3&)064&4 t 61$06/53: 4503& t /&8 ";&," 4)011*/( $&/5&3 -0$"5*0/ */ ,*)&* /&95 50 3"%*0 4)"$,

Ionic Foot Baths: The 60 acupuncture points on the soles of the feet are ideal for detoxification 5Pk. - $250 t 10Pk. - $200

5 $2 *p

North Kihei 8:30AM-7:00PM

^^^ NYLLU[PTH\P JVT *Now accepting Health Insurance

Endermologie: #1 treatment for cellulite

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Furniture ~ Antiques ~ Art ~ Unique Gifts ~ Building Materials

*4 week minimum, black & white. Add $10 for full color

20%

DISCOUNT ON FIRST SESSION

Classes Specializing in Healthy Aging & Recovery

OVER 3,000 COUTURE CLOTHING ITEMS FROM CELEBRITIES Azeka Makai, Kihei

808 870 1112

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JANUARY 19, 2012

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Rest & Relaxation

ATTENTION READERS: MAUITIME HAS A COUPLE BLOGS. IF YOU LIKE NEWS, FOOD, MUSIC, ART, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU SHOULD READ OUR BLOGS!

THAT IS ALL. YOU CAN GO BACK TO BEING AWESOME.

The Josh Jerman Maui Nui Scholarship 2012...

THREE

1000

$

Traditional, Chair & Travel Hammocks in many styles!

OďŹ&#x20AC;ering shipping on all orders HANGLOOSE HAMMOCKS HAWAII 658 Front St. Lahaina Wharf Cinema Center 808-244-3908 (Upstairs, next to Cool Cats.)

www.hangloosehammockshawaii.com AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL! West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2011. For reservations call 877-7005

',!33 Â&#x201E; 6!0%3 Â&#x201E; ')&43 Â&#x201E; ')&43 +!-!´!).!!

Smoke Shop

ALOHA MARKETPLACE ACROSS THE STREET FROM OCEANS BAR IN KIHEI

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Check out our new 4,000 sq ft. warehouse at 320 Hoohana St. Unit 13-16 in Kahului!

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MAUI TATTOO COMPANY Traditional, Custom, Polynesian, Cover-Ups, Portraits & Permanent Makeup. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., under Lu Luâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. 874-0034 WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $469k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC WORLD CLASS MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT AND LESSONS! Pro Vocalist / Pro Voice Coach / Bandleader/Pianist teaches Singing, Piano, Band Classes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Beginners to Grammy Winners.â&#x20AC;? www.louiselambert.com 205-3971

CHRYSLER EXPERTS! "-7 / -).) s 6/,6/ -%2#%$%3 s 67 !5$) 3%26)#% s 0!243 s !##%33/2)%3

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A store for gardeners big and small AW^kbk_ .-'#)/) Â&#x161; >W_ak +-+#//// OhanaGreenhouse.com NationalGardenWholesale.com

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SCHOLARSHIPS! Visit www.JoshJermanFoundation.org for details and to download your application.

Application Deadline is 2/20/12

283-2222 www.joshjerman.com

MauiCustomT-Shirts.com

SPECIAL! 10 Custom T-Shirts Only $99

HERE!

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Your LOGO ORGANIZATION or GRAPHIC

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Unlimited Colors (2 4URNAROUND s FREE Art

1261 Lower Main St. CALL NOW! (808) 268-5860

(Wailuku)

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS! FOR AS LITTLE AS

$115/WEEK CALL BRAD AT 283-3260 OR TOMMY AT 283-0512 TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT

WEST MAUI

SWAP MEET Every Thursday 9am-3pm

4 Hand-carved Woodcarvings ADMISS 4 Handmade Jewelry 4 Lauhala Bags 4 Aloha Wear Clothing 4 Local Farmers Market 4 Local Made Soaps 4 Handmade Coconut Pets 4 Art, Gifts & more Aunty Sue LIVE Music FREE Sandwiches & 11am-1pm PARKING Baked Goods

The Fastest Growing Privacy Hedge Available!

E FREIO N!

At the Lahaina Smokestack on Lahainaluna Rd. For more info, call 808.268.9822

Yellow Seed Bamboo

www.YellowSeedBamboo.com

We need happy* interns. *happy interns do not necessarily need to be as happy as interns shown. In fact, we find interns this happy quite creepy.

Do you think you have what it takes?

Send your resume to interns@mauitime.com or 33 N. Market St., Suite 201, Wailuku, HI 96793