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*ANUARY   Come and celebrate Maui’s unique multi-cultural community. Enjoy performances that will bring people of all ages and backgrounds together. Jan 16 - Gospel choir workshop with Sheryl Renee • Jan 18 - “Aloha” Concert featuring the Sistas and Storytellers cast, Game Kids and more • Jan 19 - “Sistas and Storytellers” • Jan 21 - Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday Blessing and Opening Ceremonies • Free Performance Festival of traditional song and dance by Maui groups representing cultures from around the world, and ethnic foods and crafts from local vendors and restaurants • “I Have a Dream Concert” featuring The Maui Gospel Choir and a performance of the show “We Shall Overcome”

For more information call 283-3576 or visit Sponsors: Arts Education for Children Group, Black Swan Talent and Productions, County of Maui, Hawaii Tourism Authority, Maui OnStage, South Maui Learning Ohana, and Wailuku Community Association.

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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION If you were a fighter, what would your UFC nickname be? Editor: Anthony Pignataro Anthony “The Scribbler” Pignataro


Associate Editor: Starr Begley Starr “Balls to the Wall” Begley Calendar Editor: Jessica Armstrong Jessica “F-That!” Armstrong Contributors: Paisly Bender, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ynez Tongson Illustration: Guy Junker, Ron Pitts, Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Pietro Ortiz, Jason Waterhouse Art Director: Wendy S. H. Ortiz Wendy “The Higanator” Ortiz Graphic Designers: Emeline Sioson, Travis K. Tiffin Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Brad “Skull” Chambers Advertising Executive: Cynthia Matzke Cynthia “Electric Blue” Matzke Classified Sales: Robin Williams Robin “Tenacious Tinkerbell” Williams Customer Service Rep: Mark Stockwell Mark “Fireball” Stockwell General Manager: Jennifer Russo Jen “The Menace” Russo Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Judy “Spam” Toba Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Jenn “Savy, Mate?” Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo Tommy “Tommy Gun” Russo

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2007 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly. Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

22 4 MAUI COUNTY A couple somewhat sensitive music producers go after Anthony Pignataro in Letters. Then Pignataro has the termerity to look at presidential campaign contributions--and during a presidential campaign, even! Rob Report talks to a couple malahini about their views of Maui and its environment. Hawaiian Telcom rises in Maui 10 on news that its owner wants to buy society. In Coconut Wireless. Pignataro admits the shocking truth that Governor Lingle actually did something this week he likes. Eh Brah! denounces some douche and his bitey dog. And Nordic religion seems really popular in Utah prisons, according to News of the Weird.

12 FEATURE STORY In late September 2006, the Maui Snorkel Charters boat Kai Anela sank in the shallows at Molokini. Though she spent just a week on the bottom before being salvaged, the boat apparently destroyed so much coral that the state now wants to fine her owners nearly a million dollars. With the case coming up in a few weeks, Anthony Pignataro explores the incident.

14 ONO KINE GRINDS Anthony Pignataro, who really shouldn’t be writing so much, walks nearly a hundred feet from his office to Island Tacos and finds a nice owner and even nicer tacos. Then in Take Five, Ynez Tongson gives you five great creamy delights.

17 DA KINE CALENDAR Starr Begley wants you to watch some UFC fight this weekend,

then Ynez Tongson boosts some free Honolulu Symphony Orchestra thing and a Joyce Wang piano concert at the MACC and a Rootz CD release party and Mana`o Radio benefit at Casanova.

23 Grid & Calendar

20 FILM Cole Smithey, who actually likes a good romantic comedy now and then, says the new Katherine Heigl movie 27 Dresses is neither romantic nor a comedy.

21 Movie Listings

22 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Paisly Bender, which I guess is really her name, finds a lot more than reggae in Kanoa Kukaua’s new album Makin Thru the Breakthru.

29 BACK PAGES Sign Language wants Sagittarians to leave scorn off the menu, whatever that means. Restless Native gets angry–daytime TV angry.

CLASSIFIEDS 27 Personals 28 Classified Listings 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR WHO SAYS PRODUCERS ARE SENSITIVE? Your January 10 Coconut Wireless column contains some misinformation regarding the Grammy for Hawaiian music. In that column you stated that Keola Beamer is “taking a stand against the Hawaiian Grammy awards and the way they seem to favor compilation album producers over vocalists.” We do wish that you would re-read the [Jan. 5, 2008] Maui News article you were referencing. In fact, Keola is taking issue

with the fact that his own Ka Hikina O Ka Hau album was selected for a Hawaiian Grammy when it is mostly non-Hawaiian music. In that article he said nothing about “compilation albums” or “producers.” Those words were never mentioned. Keola also said that he would “love to hear a winner with Hawaiian lyrics on it.” The Maui News reported that instrumental albums had “swept” the Hawaiian Grammy category. Neither statement is correct. Last year’s Grammy winning album had eight out of 12 vocal tracks, all but one of them in the Hawaiian language. The

same is true for “Treasures of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar,” nominated for this year. We have given Keola one of our albums, and The Maui News ran a correction (on January 8). I hope that you will do the same in the interest of fairness and accuracy. A prime mission for our show here on Maui is the preservation of Hawaiian music and culture. This is the reason why we feature so much Hawaiian vocal music. We honor and respect everyone’s right to express their opinion. Because we work so hard to preserve the music, we just ask that the facts be reported accurately, particular-

ly by a hometown newspaper. We read and enjoy Maui Time and we think it serves a valuable purpose in our community. Many of your concerns about issues like over development and destruction of Maui’s rural way of life are also our concerns. We very much hope you’ll find the time to come to one of our shows at Napili Kai Beach Resort as our guest. Just call or email and we’ll set it up for you. -Paul Konwiser and George Kahumoku Jr., producers, Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concert Series Anthony Pignataro responds: I think you’re protesting too much. And I’m not sure what “error” you think I need to correct. I didn’t publish the information The Maui News printed that led to its Jan. 8 correction. And Beamer’s quote, which I did reprint, struck me as being cool and sarcastic commentary, not a bald statement of fact. Sure, I might be wrong in that, but I also doubt I was the only one who interpreted his comment that way.

CRAVES MEAT The mundane stuff you [Starr Begley] write about [in Restless Native] would be much better suited to a blog where those that choose can go read about the details of your life. There are enough people out there writing about every time they give their cat a bath. Give us some meat, girl. The details of your life just aren’t that compelling. There is so much significance on Maui and in the world. Why fill half a page with telling us how you spend your time and how your year went. I’m glad you got the job, now do something to earn it. -Anonymous, via email

CORRECTIONS In our Jan. 3, 2008 issue, News of the Weird misidentified a Florida Wal-Mart customer charged with shoplifting. Christopher White is actually the WalMart store official that assisted police. And in the Jan. 10, 2008 edition of The Maui 10, we should have made clear that the public relations firm Loomis-ISC— which sent us a glowing press release on how Maui Land & Pineapple Co. recently invested in Mokulele Airlines—was working on behalf of Mokulele, not ML&P. We apologize for the errors. Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. We also reserve the right to edit your letters. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (, regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808-2440446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.


JANUARY 17, 2008




Money Money Money! There was a time when Democratic candidates just took union and trial lawyer money and Republicans only accepted contributions from big business and wealthy bankers. That time, as the following chart of campaign contributions makes clear, is over. While the national media tears their hair out trying to accentuate “differences”

between the various front-running candidates, we decided to accentuate some of the more disturbing similarities between them. When you look at numbers like these, it’s hard not to wonder why “fringe” candidates like Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul–who don’t get anything like these contributions–aren’t getting more voter support…

Hillary Clinton

Barack Obama

Rudy Giuliani















Goldman Sachs


Morgan Stanley


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John McCain





















Mitt Romney

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SOURCE: The Center for Responsive Politics


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Through a Malahini’s Eyes A newcomer’s first impressions of Maui Each year, Maui welcomes an ever-increasing number of visitors to its shores. In 2006, more than 2.4 million tourists—nearly 50,000 each week—vacationed here. Of those, roughly two-thirds have previously traveled to Maui, while slightly more than a third are visiting for the first time. Intrigued by the idea of how a first-time visitor’s impressions of Maui might differ from that of a return visitor, I talked story with 18year-old North Moore and his mom, Patty. Residents of Bellaire, Michigan, they were staying in Lahaina on a twoweek repast from the January cold in the upper Midwest. North is a high-energy, outgoing teenager who recently resigned his full-time position as staff writer for the Antrim County News to attend Northwestern Michigan Community College in Traverse City. Previously, he was editor of his senior yearbook at Bellaire High School, then interned with the newspaper. “I love sports writing, but also do ‘A’ Section stuff,” North says. On his long-awaited first trip to Maui, he brought his new camera, a Nikon D-40. “The incredible beauty everywhere you look has an “X” factor,” North says. “It’s hard to put it into words how beautiful it is. I’m really drawn to the views of the mountains. With their ravines, valleys and green slopes, they look so untouched and inviting. I was out by Mile Marker 14 [near Olowalu] taking sunset pic-

North and Patty Moore

tures. I looked up at the mountains and the lighting was so great that it would have been perfect except for the power lines in the pictures. “In a way, it seems as though Maui is being forced to conform to what people on the Mainland think it should be like,” he continued. “There’s a little too much hustle and bustle. I really like Lahaina in the morning, when it’s not busy—it has it’s own little charm. The rest of the time it’s like a lot of people competing for your money.”

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North’s mom Patty lived on Maui briefly in 1981, and was an avid windsurfer at the beginning of a trend that would make Maui a Mecca for worldwide enthusiasts of that sport. She now runs a successful massage practice in Bellaire, which itself is a summer tourist destination. Bellaire, Michigan, a town of around 1,500, is the home of Michael Moore, who held the world premier for his latest documentary film Sicko there. Julie Kavner, actress and the voice of Marge Simpson, also lives there. Tucked in cherry and apple orchard

country, and dotted with inland lakes, it’s an attractive locale for summer visitors. One of those visitors years ago was musician Jimmy Buffett, who wrote “Cheeseburger in Paradise” about the Bluebird Café, where Patty once waitressed, in neighboring Leland, Michigan. In Lahaina, Patty and North ate breakfast at the restaurant with the same name as Buffett’s song. “I’ve never waited so long for two poached eggs,” Patty said. “And the waitress tried to sell us cocktails—with breakfast!” After saving her money and planning for years to bring her son to Maui, Patty began looking for accommodations several months ago. “We wanted to stay somewhere on the North Shore,” she said. “We looked at Spreckelsville, Paia and Haiku. We wanted to cook at home and not have to go out for every meal. A lot of the places we contacted said they’d have to close down on January first. That was disappointing. It costs a lot of money to come here. If where you stay looks like every place else— you know, like Florida—you probably won’t want to come back. It’s a huge effort to drive all the way from Lahaina, through Kahului, and then hit the bumper-tobumper traffic coming into Paia.” “I was really surprised how built up it is here,” North said. “When you go through Kahului in bumper-to-bumper traffic, you almost forget you’re in Hawai‘i. Then, when we hit that midday traffic going into Paia, I kinda thought, ‘This island isn’t big enough for this many people.’ But it’s see IMPRESSIONS, page 10

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CARLYLE GROUP WANTS TO BUY SOCIETY We make fun of Hawaiian Telcom a lot in this space—shoving them down into the cellar of the list for a couple years now because of their chronic inability to answer customer complaints in a reasonable amount of time—but seriously, their owner Carlyle Group is scary-powerful and getting more so by the minute. In fact, according to a recent Washington Post story published by the Honolulu Advertiser on Jan. 6, the $75 billion private equity firm now wants to start buying some of our nation’s bridges, tunnels, highways, airports and even sewer systems. Calling such acquisitions “long-term partnerships,” Carlyle Group officials insist they could run society’s infrastructure more efficiently and safely than public municipalities, which paid for the stuff in the first place. Needless to say, not everyone is convinced. “Isn’t there a concern that the drive for profit might outweigh public safety, security issues or even whether public employees could get fired?” James Bellessa, a D.A. Davidson & Co. analyst asked the Post. “It raises issues of national security and safety as well as whether Carlyle could run it better.”

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EVEN HARRY CAN’T HELP RESORTS NOW Using some variation of the euphemism “softer sales” three times and the now-clichéd phrase “tipping point” another three times in a Jan. 9 Maui News story, notoriously pro-development reporter Harry Eagar tried to put the best face on people just not buying hideously expensive resort condos and timeshares in Hawai`i like they used to. And that’s bad news for developers like Dowling Co. and Maui Land & Pineapple Co., which are staking big money on such projects. Guess Harry’s just going to have to work a little harder. MTW


JANUARY 17, 2008





delivers a breakthrough message that entices Spam lovers to recall the unforgettable taste while demonstrating the convenience, versatility and relevance of the iconic brand,” Spam manager Dan Goldman said in today’s Rochester (Minn.) PostBulletin. I’d poke fun at Goldman’s use of terms like “unforgettable taste” and “relevance” to describe a canned “meat” product, but that seems cruel, like laughing at the special-ed kid in class.


WEDNESDAY, Jan. 9 Iconic. That’s the word advertising and marketing specialists are using to describe it. As in, “It’s an iconic brand.” Those exact words recently appeared in BrandWeek, an advertising trade publication. Spoken by one Swen Neufeldt, who works as a group product manager in Austin, Minnesota, the words are meant to characterize Neufeldt’s employer, which is Spam. And apparently, Newfeldt isn’t the only Spam guy who considers the little tins of meat or whatever it is that Spam is to be iconic. In fact, Spam marketing people have unveiled a new “Blue and Yellow World” campaign designed specifically to celebrate its iconic-ness. “Its ‘Blue and Yellow World’ theme

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There’s a really cool picture of a Dodge Durango that some tourists somehow parked atop a convertible Chrysler Sebring in the parking lot at the Kihei Kai Nani condos in today’s Maui News. No one was injured, which is part of why it’s such a fun photo. The other part comes from the fifth paragraph of the accompanying story explaining the photo: “The Durango occupants, visitors from China, reportedly had arrived from Honolulu with the rental car aboard the Hawaii Superferry.”

FRIDAY, Jan. 11 Looking over a schedule of presidential primaries and caucuses, a friend asked me the other day why there’s no Republican Party caucus in the Hawai‘i (the Hawai‘i Democratic Party Caucus is Feb. 19). My answer was something to the effect that there aren’t enough Republicans to caucus even if it were held in a phone booth. My view was only strengthened after reading the Jan. 9 Honolulu Advertiser story “Two Senate Republicans question Hemmings’ political leadership.” The piece details the vicious squabble in the state Senate over who will lead the Republicans. State Senator Fred Hemmings (R, 25th District) has been their leader since 2002. But state Senators Sam Slom (R, 8th District) and Gordon Trimble (R, 12th District) want Hemmings out, questioning—in the words of Advertiser reporter Derrick DePledge—“whether Hemmings has been effective at candidate recruitment and advancing the party’s message.” In case you don’t know, Hemmings, Slom and Trimble constitute three quarters of the Republican state Senate contingent (the fourth—Paul Whalen of the 3rd District—hasn’t yet said who he wants to be leader, and may not really care anyway since he’s apparently up for a job in the Lingle Administration). You read that right: there are just four Republicans in the 25-member state Senate. Does that sound like Hemmings has done a bang-up job in terms of “candidate recruitment?”

SATURDAY, Jan. 12 And today, history was made. For the


Iconic as all hell first time since, oh, I don’t know, Governor Linda Lingle did something that I completely agree with. Her reason may be lame, but her action is on the mark. According to today’s Honolulu Star-Bulletin, Lingle has asked the federal government—namely Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff—for more time before the state goes ahead with the $4 billion REAL ID program. She wants more time not because the whole national ID card thing is bullshit, but because counties out here issue driver’s licenses, not the state. This, I imagine, will be good enough, if for no other reason than the fact that Lingle is a Republican. Anyway, without the extension, the state would have until this summer before handing out new super-duper driver’s licenses that are matchable against what the StarBulletin calls “secure government data,” which I assume is any data that some bureaucrat hasn’t yet downloaded onto a laptop, taken home and then lost who knows where. I’m amazed that just 16 states, including Hawai‘i, have tried to object in some way to this truly bonehead idea, passed by the U.S. Congress in 2005. It’s predicated on the view that we can really pound the godless terrorists into sand if we all just carry a national ID card (passports, which are national ID cards, don’t apparently count in this logic). And Chertoff has been threatening states, saying that if they don’t start issuing REAL ID-compliant driver’s licenses airport screeners will no longer take those licenses as valid ID at airports, which should really speed things up at those airport metal detectors.

SUNDAY, Jan. 13 The terrorists have already won, right?

MONDAY, Jan. 14 There’s an interesting story in today’s Honolulu Advertiser—which seems to be written straight off a press release—about the state-funded Hawai`i Tourism Authority (HTA) announcing that it will spend $3.1 million of its funds on 25 “com-

munity-based projects.” These projects, according to the original Jan. 11 release, are all about the “raising awareness” that public relations professionals hold so dear, but will also in some way “repair, maintain and improve Hawai‘i’s natural resources.” Now this is absolutely a good thing for the HTA to be doing, and the Advertiser’s choice to run their story—as far as I can—entirely off the tourism authority press release without any type of criticism would seem to indicate that the paper agrees. But there are points to quibble over— most notably, the fact that the HTA receives about $70 million each year from the state tax on vacation rental and hotel beds, and $3.1 million looks rather measly in comparison (the 2006 HTA Annual Report shows the authority spent $37 million that year on something called “Leisure Marketing”). Of course, there’s also the flipside argument that questions why the state-funded HTA is spending money trying to protect the state’s natural resources, which the last time I checked nominally fell under the jurisdiction of the state-funded Department of Land and Natural Resources. In any case, the HTA release says its practice of protecting our natural resources dates back to a 2002 “legislative mandate,” which gives at least the hint of a feeling that the idea of using tourist promotion dollars to scrub beaches and clean trails didn’t exactly originate with the HTA.

TUESDAY, Jan. 15 Originally I was going to have some fun with Hawai‘i Superferry’s announcement that they won’t actually start a second Maui voyage until the spring–the press release says “Mayor [Charmaine] Tavares’ concerns” lay at the heart of the reason–and possibly even the news that Hemmings will, in fact, stay Senate Republican leader, but then I got word on a new book on Makena that’s actually more important. Local archaeologist Theresa Donham and Sierra Club Hawai`i Vice Chairperson Lucienne de Naie have published Project Ka`eo: The Challenge to Preserve Cultural Landscapes in Modern Makena. This book, all 470 pages of it, caps off two years of research into the cultural history of Makena, which goes back a thousand years. The best part is that the book, full of maps and photos and all sorts of details of life in Makena when Native Hawaiians ran things, is free: you can download a copy yourself at Anthony Pignataro has seven Twitter followers–you can be Number Eight! Just go to MTW



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NOW IN STOC K! It was so smooth of you to jump in your tan SUV and run like a punk bitch after your little dog bit a four-year-old boy thru his cheek at the community meal over at Kanaha. And a special mahalo to your friend who very thoughtfully created a diversion by asking, “Has he had a Tetanus shot?” as you made your getaway. For some reason, the mother of the boy holds no ill will towards you (I guess she was too busy bringing food and presents to the hospital). In fact, she wouldn’t even call the police. I told her that was irresponsible, since a person of your caliber is a prime hit and run candidate. So watch out—we got your license plate number!

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ROBREPORT IMPRESSIONS: continued from page 6 beautiful nonetheless.” Patty was really surprised at how much the island had changed since 1981. “I remember when Paia was very cool, very quiet, just windsurfers and artists and locals,” she said. “Now it seems it’s gotten awfully crowded. I was sorry to see Charley’s closed, too [after a Christmas morning fire gutted the restaurant].” Patty and North also ran into a traffic jam while trying to park at Ho‘okipa Beach Park, and again walking down to the pavilions. “It was a little disappointing,” they said.

On a day when northwest swells reached the island, they ventured to the upper Westside to watch surfers at Honolua Bay. Equipped with a telephoto lens, North photographed local surfers as well as a school of spinner dolphins. Then they continued around the narrow road through Kahakuloa Village. “That’s Hawai‘i for me,” Patty said. “Even though I was worried by the onelane road, I was relieved to see so much natural—not developed, still untouched. There’s got to be a way to do growth with sensitivity, softly, instead of with such big impacts. The impact is just too much. “I remember when I first came here 26 years ago,” she continued. “Even then, I couldn’t believe there was a McDonald’s. In Bellaire, we all signed petitions when McDonald’s wanted to open a franchise

in town. I have such compassion for what’s been taken away from the Hawaiian people. I totally understand why we newcomers weren’t liked very much. I thought, ‘How sad that Hawaiian culture was being exploited and outpriced by all the development.’” “Don’t you think people would want to come here more if it were more Hawaiian?” North asked. “More local style and less built up?” On a Saturday, they ventured into Kahului to attend the Swap Meet. “I liked it,” North said. “It was all pretty much friendly local people selling their stuff. No pressure.” Afterwards, they ate lunch at the Kahului Ale House, which was filled with football fans watching the Packers-Seahawks game. North, whose father is from Wisconsin, is a

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big-time Green Bay fan. “That was so much fun,” he said. “There was so much energy, hootin’ and hollerin’. The game held during a snowstorm was totally classic. I dug that the place was full, but they sat us down in a booth with some other dude. He was really cool. I think he had more fun, and we did, too.” North bought a basketball with him and has been shooting hoops daily at the Front Street court in Lahaina. Still on the agenda is a round of golf, scuba trip (North was certified at age 12) and drive to Hana. “I’m so excited to go to Hana,” North said. “That’s like all I’ve been thinking about. Hopefully we can see the crater, too.” They snorkeled a few times, including once in front of the Maui Prince Hotel at Makena. Patty said she was surprised to see a big construction site there. “All I remembered about Makena was a big, beautiful beach as far as you could see—no development around,” she said. “Now, it’s like they are trying to manufacture a paradise there. You feel claustrophobic with high-rise things all around you. Maui is so great, as long as this island doesn’t cater to only people who like to stay at big resorts or time shares.”

Makena: Past, Present and Future This free public forum will be held Mon., Jan. 21 from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Kihei Community Center, 303 E. Lipoa St., Kihei.


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JANUARY 17, 2008



Even with their qualms about commercial development compromising Maui’s natural beauty, the island-allure still cast a spell on North and Patty Moore. Like many before them, they envisioned what it might take to actually move here. This fascination has fueled a double-digit growth rate over each of the past four decades, tripling Maui’s overall population over that time. “I can see why I would want to live here,” North said. “I think I could grow to love it and really get plugged into the community. Plus, the ocean—I just love it so much, ever since I was four years old and went to the Florida Keys. I can see how just being near the Pacific Ocean could make the daily routine seem trivial, because it’s so beautiful. I just feel so fortunate to be here. I’m really grateful my mom made this trip possible. It’s so special to see a place as great as Maui.” MTW

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD THIS WEEK IN UTAH In December, inmate Michael Polk (serving time for robbery and aggravated assault) filed a federal lawsuit against the Utah Department of Corrections for denying him the right to properly practice his religion, Asatru. According to its teachings, adherents must communicate with ancient Nordic gods (such as Odin, Thor and Heimdal) and for that, it is crucial that they have a Thor’s Hammer, a Mead Horn (for drinking Wassail), a drum of wood and boar skin, a “ rune staff” and a sword (Polk graciously said he would accept a cardboard sword).

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT A warehouse on Chicago’s West Side is “the world capital of fake vomit, where it’s still made the oldfashioned way, ladle by ladle, formed and coagulated,” reported the Chicago Tribune in December. Though it is not as popular as 50 years ago (7,000 units sold yearly, compared to 60,000 then), Fun Inc. President Graham Putnam said, “It’s the best vomit on the market.” According to the awe-struck Tribune reporter: “The texture is soft and sturdy, pliable and complex, with ridges of multihued solid chunks looking like a jagged lunar landscape... perfect for the bathroom, refrigerator, auto seat or sidewalk.”

EXCITING JAPANESE PRODUCTS The clothing company Konaka announced that it will start selling press-free men’s and women’s suits in February that can be cleaned by hanging them under a warm shower. And though not actually for sale, bramaker Triumph International’s showed off their prototype “chopstick bra” in November in Tokyo as an


environmentally friendly demonstration project. The bra holds two reusable chopsticks—to publicize a national campaign to discourage use of disposable ones—that can also be positioned to enhance the wearer’s cleavage.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATOR Evangelical Christians, among all people of faith, seem excited to purchase products that reinforce their religious values, according to a marketer cited in a December Denver Post report, with the result an explosion of Jesus-themed merchandise such as Jesus riding a bull, surfing and playing soccer, Jesus air-fresheners and Grapes of Galilee wine. Among the tackier products, according to a November report in London’s Daily Telegraph, are “thongs of praise” underwear with an image of the Madonna and child and a template to place on a bread slice in an oven to create toast with the Virgin Mary’s likeness.


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Salt Lake City police reported that an outof-town man was treated at a local hospital on Dec. 1 after being beaten up by gang members. The man had earlier mentioned to the gangbangers that “Utah gangs” are not as tough as those from his hometown.


UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT The 44-year-old man who allegedly skipped out on a court appearance in April in Vernon, British Columbia, in connection with marijuana-growing was arrested in December in Mission, British Columbia, when he applied for a job at the county jail. Also in December, police in Oakland, Calif., charged Jason Brooks, 24, who had just recently applied to be an Oakland police officer, with a string of 18 armed robberies dating back to May. Brooks told the arresting officers that, still, he’d like to join the force. MTW

OVERHEARD... GUY IN BACK OF PICK-UP: “Excuse me.” GUY WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK: “Hmm?” GUY IN BACK OF PICK-UP: “Are you average?” GUY WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK: “More or less.” -South Kihei Road, Jan. 12

Maui’s Online TV Station MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 17, 2008


but did let so much water into the engine compartment that the boat began to sink. Though a crewmember apparently yelled “life preservers!” none of the passengers seems to have gotten one. Instead, the report says they made due with “boogie boards and a ring buoy,” which the crew allegedly “shoved” at the passengers as they bobbed in the water. A few minutes later, the Blue Water Rafting boat Pineapple Express entered the area and rescued the passengers and crew (a U.S. Coast Guard press release sent out the afternoon of the sinking preciously refers to this boat as a “Good Samaratin” [sic]). “As a result, fifteen customers, including a pregnant woman, were deposited into the ocean on a rough, windy day at Molokini, with only boogie boards and other recreational floatation items to support them,” concluded the Dec. 14, 2007 report to the BLNR. “MSC’s leadership was extremely fortunate that no one died or was seriously injured during the incident.” On more than one page, the DLNR report states that the Kai Anela’s captain “had received only three days of training from MSC prior to the trip.” According to drawings and photos included in the BLNR report, the two subsequent attempts to salvage the Kai Anela (the first was apparently made without a salvage master on site using “insufficient buoyancy devices” and “an insufficient contingency plan”) caused the majority of damage to the Molokini reef. In addition to an “initial impact scar” of 29.11 square meters caused by the sinking, there was a “vessel dragging scar” (11.09 square meters), “secondary impact scar” (43.09 square meters) and “tertiary impact scar” (22.12 square meters) as well as a debris field covering 85.75 square meters. A salvage crew finally raised the boat on Oct. 6, 2006, about a week after she sank. But according to the DAR, the damage had been done. All told, DAR biologists—including Hau, who dove the site as part of a DAR team on Oct. 5—say the the sinking and salvage of the Kai Anela destroyed an estimated 192 square meters of coral. “[T]he range of coral colonies damaged in the Kai Anela incident was estimated to be between 1,230 and 1,494, with a mean of 1,362,” stated the BLNR staff report (citing the upcoming BLNR hearing, Hau refused to comment on the Kai Anela incident itself). That kind of damage, though relatively small given the 77-acre size of the Molokini MLCD, will apparently take a long time to heal. “Based on the largest colonies observed within the adjacent control transects, we conservatively estimate that it may take upwards of eighty years for the reef to fully and naturally recover from this series of damaging actions by the RP [Responsible Party],” stated the Oct. 3, 2007 Division of Aquatic Resources report on the Kai Anela incident. “To be clear, that’s a minimum of eighty years of

lost ecological services to both the public and the environment within this extremely valuable and extremely important marine protected area.”


olokini is a sacred place in Hawaiian mythology. Clyde W. Namu‘o, the Office of Hawaiian Affairs Administrator, pointed this out when the BLNR asked him to comment on the Kai Anela’s sinking. “When Pele’s dream lover, Lohi‘au lived at Ma‘alaea, Maui, he took as his wife a mo‘o [dragon] named Pu‘uoinaina,”

The result is water that regularly offers 140-plus feet of visibility. And there’s a lot of reef to see. An undated but unquestionably recent DAR fact-sheet titled “Status of Maui’s Coral Reefs” shows Molokini has having approximately 74 percent coral cover in 2006—the best of any reef in the county. The coral cover also seems to be relatively stable, even though the fact-sheet makes clear that most coral reefs in the county have been declining over at least the last dozen years. What’s more, there’s also “little or no invasive algae” present at

The Kai Anela today, parked behind the Maui Dive Shop in Kihei

Namu‘o wrote to the BLNR in an Oct. 24, 2007 letter. “Pele, in her anger fought with and eventually bisected Lohi‘au’s wife. To mo‘o Pu‘uoinaina’s tail became Pu‘uola‘i Hill in Makena, Maui, and her head came to rest creating Molokini Islet.” Curiously, Ellie Crowe’s 2006 coffee table book Hawaii: A Pictorial Celebration has the mo‘o Pu‘uoinaina falling the opposite way after dying: “Her tail formed the crescent of Molokini,” Crowe wrote, “and her head landed on Makena Beach, where it formed a cinder cone.” (Though this would seem to make anatomical sense given the topography of Molokini and the Makena cinder cone, it’s almost assuredly an error—Martha Beckwith’s meticulously sourced 1977 book Hawaiian Mythology agrees with Namu‘o’s account.) In any case, state marine biologists see Molokini in nearly the same light. The designation of the waters in around the crater a MLCD in 1977 makes the ancient crater hallowed grounds for biologists. “It’s one of our better reefs in terms of coral diversity, percentage of coral cover and fish population,” Hau said. “In South Maui, West Maui, they have trouble with run-off. There’s resuspension of sedimentation, so corals have a harder time coming back. But at Molokini, the coral grows faster because it doesn’t have to compete with sedimentation.”

Molokini, due in large part to the presence of “abundant herbivorous fishes.” Of course, it’s important to note that Molokini, beautiful though it may be, is not pristine. Storms, boat anchors and even navy munitions have taken their respective tolls on the islet through the years. “During the war, the navy used to bomb all the islands [for target practice],” Hau said. “If you look at places [at Molokini] you can even see rusty bombs embedded in the rocks. You can still find bullets and things there… In earlier days, the Coast Guard would even toss old batteries [from the navigation beacon atop the crater] overboard. We’d find them in the water.” (This isn’t an old problem, either–sometime in the next two weeks, the U.S. Navy will close the waters within one nautical mile of Molokini so they can retrieve an unexploded 250-pound bomb, 105-mm shell and a five-inch rocket). In 2000, DLNR installed 28 new moorings at Molokini, replacing the old cement blocks that used to serve to hold boats in place. This actually increased the number of moorings at the crater. “The new moorings will eliminate the need to anchor which further reduces impacts to the coral reef resources of the Shoal,” stated a Nov. 16, 2000 DLNR press release. “Once the new moorings are installed, the area will be designated a ‘noanchoring’ zone.”

Though the moorings were intended for the general public, the BLNR staff report dryly noted that, “The reality, however, is that the moorings are almost exclusively utilized by commercial operators.”


eading the BLNR staff report, it’s easy to speculate that the hammer could really come down on MSC. First there’s the $672,618 in proposed “administrative fines” the DLNR wants to impose on the company–$661,000 of which comes from a $1,000 fine for each of the 661 separate coral specimens allegedly damaged by the Kai Anela’s sinking and salvage. Now add the staff recommendation that the BLNR revoke MSC’s license. Since the company wouldn’t be able to reapply for the license for at least a year, DLNR staff calculated that revocation is equivalent to an additional fine of about $686,886.20. DLNR staff also isn’t alone in wanting to see MSC severely punished. “OHA urges that this enforcement action not be taken lightly,” OHA Administrator Namu‘o wrote DLNR on Oct. 24, 2007. “The consequences of this sinking to us, as Native Hawaiians, and to the public as well are heavy. Therefore, a parallel result should reach to the creator of this unfortunate event.” The BLNR staff report lists many justifications for such penalties—the Kai Anela’s captain made “poor” decisions; company officials behaved in a “Potentially negligent” manner; the salvage attempts “exacerbated the damage” to Molokini’s coral. Of course, all that may be irrelevant. “The protection of coral within Molokini is absolute,” states the BLNR staff report. “Injuring, killing, defacing, or destroying any coral is strictly prohibited. In essence, the statutes and rules governing Molokini establish a strict liability regime for coral damage, meaning there is no accommodation for intent or fault [emphasis added].” Regardless of what happens to Maui Snorkel Charters, it’s entirely possible that the BLNR will take actions affecting every boat that enters the Molokini crater. “DLNR should consider put[ting] resources into modifying commercial permit holders use, numbers, and activities at Molokini MLCD or should at least consider setting the damaged areas aside, along with a reasonable buffer, in order to maximize recovery,” concluded the Oct. 3, 2007 DAR report. “Given that the Molokini MLCD already has 41 permit holders allowed to moor within an extremely small area; allowing this highly damaged area time to recover may require a significant consideration by DLNR of vessel size and numbers allowed to operate within the MLCD.” The BLNR contested case hearing on the Kai Anela incident takes place at 9 a.m. on Friday, Jan. 25 in DLNR Board Room 132, located on the first floor of the Kalanimoku Building at 1151 Punchbowl St. in Honolulu. MTW


JANUARY 17, 2008




Island Tacos It’s the tiny place with the huge tacos It makes sense, I suppose, that such a tiny establishment as Island Tacos in Wailuku sells such a large taco. Huge, actually—you start with one of those giant flour tortillas normally used for burritos, then add chicken, beef, fish or pork chunks and a mix of sweet cabbage, red beans, cheese, salsa and sliced jalapenos. And, if you like, a little bit of one or more of the many, many sauces kept on the Island Tacos counter. Island Tacos is run by Chuck Harron—a sign over the sink modestly identifies him as the stand’s “Employee of the Month.” But at the office, we just call him “Taco Guy”—as in, “The Taco Guy’s open, right?” and “You know, that Taco Guy is really nice.”

Island Tacos Located in the vacant lot on Market St. across from the Iao Theater, Wailuku, 214-0488. Open Mon-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m. $

Once just a small cart/oven contraption thing located on Main St., Harron’s operation is now located in a vacant lot on Market Street across from the Iao Theater. There are about nine benches and tables, a stone walkway leading across the sand from the sidewalk to the cart and a nice wooden deck to stand on when ordering. In the back, behind the sink with running water he set up, is what appears to be an old ice cream truck, painted red. “Yeah, that’s in the works,” Harron said. “I’ve gotta make it all legal. I need to focus on that. I want to get permits for the whole island, and eventually bachelor parties, weddings, concerts and things like that.” When he was on Main, Harron just sold tacos. But now his menu has expanded considerably. With your taco, you can now get a side of whole black beans (topped with cheese) and Spanish rice. Or if you don’t feel like Mexican food, you can get a hot dog (the bright red Hawaiian kind), with

(Top to bottom) Pork Taco with the Works, Side of Rice and Beans, Beef Kabob and a Chili Dog. (Right) The “Taco Guy” Chuck Harron.


JANUARY 17, 2008


or without chili. He’s also making really tender chicken and beef kabobs, though not every day. When I dropped by last week, he offered a taste of a new bean soup he’s been working on. Thick like chili, it was very good and flavorful. “I can go a long way,” he said when I asked him how much further he could expand the menu. “I want to do kabobs every day, two soups and maybe a salad, too. I first need to get a good produce vendor.” Harron said he moved to Maui seven years ago from Washington State. “I was on vacation, and pretty much a vagabond,” he said. “I came out here, ran out of money and had to dig my heels in. But I worked and worked, and saved my money.” His prime location affords him a lot of regulars. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Wailuku Town people, janitors, bums, lawyers, doctors, politicians, all walks of life and from all over.” So why get into this business of running a taco cart in the first place? “To be an entrepreneur,” he said. “I wanted to be my own boss.” But isn’t everyone who stands on that deck and orders food kind of your boss? “You’re absolutely right,” he said after a moment. “They are.” MTW

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It’s a hot day on Front Street when a primal urge hits you and your lady friend. You know that it’s best to act on this urge, but what do you do when you’re surrounded by tourists? Duck into this little shop and act on your instincts; don’t stop until you’re satiated! We’re talking about ice cream, of course. Eating the haupia flavor can be a little unusual, though. You expect it have the consistency of jello but poof! You’re eating ice cream. 900 Front St. Lahaina, 667-2663. Daily 11 a.m.-10 p.m. $


50¢ Hot Wings $2 Bud Drafts $3 Well Drinks

Want to get in touch with your kinky side? You can start off by having them sing as they service you. At Coldstone’s, they’re obligated to—if you tip them. If you like your ice cream topped with a tad bit of embarrassment and a lot of resignation, in addition to their usual complement of berries and chocolate sauce, then this is the place for you. 291 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei, 875-8811; 900 Front St. Lahaina, 667-2744. Daily 10 a.m.-10 p.m. $


FRESH FISH • STEAKS • SALADS BABYBACK RIBS • CHICKEN Serving lunch & dinner 7 days a week Located on front street in Lahaina overlooking the Banyon Tree


Dickenson Square • 180 Dickenson St. • Lahaina


When you’re caught in the throes of passion, it’s tough to remember the little things, like what color underwear your lover is wearing. Likewise, I don’t really know what flavors of cold deliciousness Guri Guri serves. I’ve referred to their flavors as “red” and “orange” since before I could even see over the counter. Whatever they are, they’re wonderful. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4513. $

LAPPERT’S ICE CREAM AND COFFEE I like my guys the way I like my ice cream: cheap, easy and a little on the sketchy side. But through the years, I’ve learned that it’s okay to go that extra mile—for ice cream, at least. Lappert’s offers premium ice cream with an island twist. Flavors include Kauai Pie, Guava Sorbet and Caramel Coconut Macadamia Nut. The Shops at Wailea, 879-1711; 891 Alua St., Wailuku, 242-2919; 693 Front St., Lahaina, 6613310; 2463 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0189. $

KOHO GRILL & BAR The fact that Koho’s isn’t an ice cream joint per se is totally made up by their amazing ice cream desserts. The Kilauea Snowball is a legendary island crowd pleaser, but the Chocolate Sundae is perfect for when you feel a sin coming on. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 877-5588. Su, M, W 7 a.m.-10 p.m.; Tu, Th 7 a.m.-11 p.m.; F, Sa 7 a.m.-midnight. $


JANUARY 17, 2008


Bloke’s Brawl Saturday, (Jan. 19) at 10 a.m. live on PPV, Oceanic Time Warner Cable [SPORTS] Yes, I am celebrating yet another mixed martial art event. You know you love testosterone, blood and men in compromised positions as much as I do. And if you don’t, well, you should because it’s awesome. Believe it or not, I have good cause for highlighting this event that goes beyond my obsession with the sport. For one, it takes place in England, which is just cool. I fantasize about random encounters with blokes in pubs all the time. Secondly, Hawai`i boys BJ Penn and Kendall Grove are fighting. Both have a lot at stake with these fights–Penn has a shot at the World Light Heavy Weight title and Grove’s coming off of a disappointing defeat to Patrick Cote back in August. To make it really interesting, Penn is up against Joe Stevenson, who happens to be one of Grove’s close friends. If you want to enjoy it with a group of people in a bar, call your favorite watering hole. Many establishments will show the fights, but because of the whole time difference thing, as of press time, they won’t commit to a specific time. Tickets: $39.95. Call 643-2337 to order or for more details. [STARR BEGLEY]


JANUARY 17, 2008


ThIS WEEK’S PICKS by Starr Begley

Honolulu Symphony Orchestra Thursday (Jan. 17) 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] Are you one of those people that can’t walk away from those free pens, notepads and magnets that some display tables showcase? Sure, you’re smiling and nodding at the person manning the table, but all you’re really thinking about is “How do I grab one of those pens without them noticing?” Well, this show is for you. The Honolulu Symphony Orchestra will be performing for FREE at the MACC. You might not be able to stuff a couple of extra orchestra members in your pocket while security isn’t looking, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Tickets: Free. For more info visit [YNEZ TONGSON]

Bad Grammar, Good Vibes Friday (Jan. 18) 10 p.m., Casanova, Makawao [MUSIC] When I was in grade school, the nuns that taught me were sticklers for grammar and spelling. So, when I see things spelt out like “sistah,” “rootz” or “prezentz,” a little part of me dies. And thinks I’m going to have my hand slapped. But, I’m pretty sure there won’t be any nuns at the Rootz CD Release party, at Casanova. Good thing, too: they were pretty strict about skirt length and P.D.A. The show is presented by B.U.B.Z Produktionz with Sistah Hayley and Teomon, hosted by Kila Kila. The grammar might kill me, but the beats are totally and completely dope. Tickets: $15 at the door, 21+, for more info call 572-0220. [YT]


➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY Casanova’s Famous Ladies Night

Thursday January 17th

Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present

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DJ Styles, DJ Jammin J and DJ Shaggy




World Beat Dance Concert 10:00pm $10 Cover

Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Saturday January 19th presents

EOTO Featuring Michael Travis

FRIDAY January 18th B.U.B.Z. PRODUKTIONZ presents

ROOTZ the CD Release Party Hosted by M.C. Spence Jah with Sistah Hayley and Teomon

and Jason Hann from

Music Starts at 10:00pm $15 cover

Sunday January 20th

Dr. Maddvibe


aka Angelo Moore

Live Drum n Bass, Breakbeat, Trip Hop, House



Music Starts at 10:00pm $15 cover

SKA and FUNK Music Starts at 9:30pm $10 cover

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova. For dinner reservations call 572-0220


JANUARY 17, 2008



Monday Nights 10PM JANUARY 17th



Livin’ the Dream

Goody Two Shoes

Sunday (Jan. 20) 2 p.m., Casanova, Makawao

Sunday (Jan. 20) 5 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC

[EVENT] In a perfect world, I would spend my Sunday afternoons and evenings finely dressed, eating good food and listening to live music, all while in the company of beautiful people. Instead, I spend my Sunday nights slaving away in a hideous uniform. Sucks to be me. But you can partake in my dream during Casanova’s Acoustic Sundays, a benefit for Mana`o Radio. Enjoy the company of Allan Thomas, Bryan Kessler, Wesley Furumoto and Steve McGee while simultaneously sharing your mana`o (thoughts) with other intelligent and gorgeous people. Don’t worry about me; I’ll get the smell of popcorn out of my pores eventually. $7 donation to Mana`o Radio. For more info call 572-0220. [YT]

[MUSIC] Joyce Wang is all sorts of talented. Many people in their early 20s take pride in their drinking ability and prowess in projectile vomit (when pushing those drinking abilities to the limit). The rewards for those talents are usually pictures on MySpace and Facebook that one day they’ll regret. In contrast, Joyce Wang has very little to regret, with her numerous awards for her mastery as a pianist. Go ahead and enjoy the finer things in life. That beer bong will still be there when you get back. Tickets: $10, $25, $35, half-price kids 12 and under. For more info visit [YT]



~ a Music Medicine Gathering ~

January 25th - 27th, 2008 Daily Workshops, Nightly Music at YMCA Camp Keanae! Workshops Include: RAM DASS

Yoga, Sufi Dancing, Kirtan, Guitar, Sound Healing, Raw Food Healing & Prep, Rebirthing, Tai Chi & more...





(with Sasha Rose)

(w/Sasha, Owl, Stephen & Nicolas)



(and other Humans)


(with Sasha Rose)




YOUSSOUPHA SIDIBE (joined by Owl Torre)


MYSTIC MIDNIGHT SHOWS: Friday: Blane Lyon, Travis Levity Saturday: Freedom Tribe

Please no Alcohol or Dogs


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JANUARY 17, 2008




Wedding Crapper Romantic comedy coffin gets another nail Agonizing, flaccid and about as romantic as bottle of flat champagne, 27 Dresses is a perfect example of the stereotypical Hollywood romantic comedies that Judd Apatow’s 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up successfully disemboweled. So it’s sadly ironic that Katherine Heigl, the pregnant chic in Knocked Up, should show up in such an inferior showcase for her talents. Heigl plays Jane Nichols, a young Manhattanite doomed to be always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Now there’s a novel idea for a movie. Jane’s favorite activities revolve around reading the “commitments” section of the newspaper to drool over the wedding ceremonies of lucky couples when she isn’t adding to her collection of bridesmaid dresses-guess how many-from gauche theme weddings that are barf-inducing for their tackiness.

27 Dresses

★★★★★ Rated PG-13/107 min.

The girl who wants what she doesn’t want has to learn the hard way that the man she has a crush on—her boss George (Edward Burns)—is a dimwit, after he falls head over heels for Jane’s bimbo sister Tess (Malin Akerman). And yes, there is a mandatory montage in which Jane models all 27 dresses. If the insipid dress-changing sequence weren’t insufferable enough to curdle the stomach of every male in the audience, the filmmakers step in cliché poop again when they subject viewers to one of the most tormenting sing-along scenes in cinema history. Inebriated Jane and her also-drunk boy-pal Kevin (James Marsden) dance on top of a bar while belting out Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets” along with the jukebox to the feigned approval of cast extras that can hardly hide their disgust at the embarrassing display.


JANUARY 17, 2008


Which dress is this again? In the process of doing dual bridesmaid duty for two weddings on a Saturday night, busybody Jane forgets her dayplanner in the back of a taxi with Kevin, a cynical journalist she’s only just met. Unbeknownst to Jane, Kevin is the author of her favorite wedding column. He capitalizes on the opportunity her lost diary presents to pitch a story about Jane’s wedding obsession to his editor. While Kevin stalks Jane like a smitten lover with an ulterior motive, she watches her ditzy sister Tess pretend to love dogs, hiking and vegetarianism in order to win over George, the outdoorsy clothing store entrepreneur that Jane serves as his personal assistant. Screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna (The Devil Wears Prada) sabotages even the script’s old-lady-friendly tone with Jane’s bawdy co-worker Casey (Judy Greer), whose job it is to inject crude humor, ostensibly to keep audiences awake between the death knell plot lulls that occur at regular intervals. 27 Dresses is a comedy without the necessary visual style, tempo or chemistry to compensate for the script’s tone-deaf sense of humor. Hollywood has been stuck too long churning out perfunctory wedding cake movies that are predictable for their bogus characters and retreaded gags. At heart, Jane Nichols is a narcissist and exhibitionist who loves spectacle. She doesn’t know the first thing about intimacy or carnality. There’s a name for people who get on top of bars and sing with the jukebox at the top of their lungs; we call them idiots, and let the bouncer do his job. MTW

MOVIECAPSULES Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema IRA AND ABBY - R - Comedy - In the throes of passion and new love, Ira and Abby get married a few scant hours after meeting each other. While it may not have been their smartest move, the two are determined to work through the issues, like monogamy and family, that are usually better covered on, say, a second date. 101 min

New This Week 27 DRESSES - PG - Comedy - Jane has walked down the isle more than two dozen times. No, she’s not a hussy, just a perpetual bridesmaid. When she and her sister fall for the same guy she discovers that she’s not satisfied with sitting on the sidelines anymore. 107 min ATONEMENT - R - Drama - In this adaptation of the novel by Ian McEwan, two upperclass British sisters form the base of a love triangle with the housekeepers son. Dramatic misconceptions lead to false accusations and betrayal, jealousy and, years later, the possibility of atonement. 123 min. CLOVERFIELD - PG13 - Sci-Fi Earthquakes, black-outs and massive fireballs cause chaos on the streets of New York City. Could it be another terrorist attack? No no, don’t panic. It’s just a team of evil monsters from the beyond. Whew! That was a close one! 90 min. MAD MONEY - PG13 - Comedy - An unlikely trio of ladies (Diane Keaton, Katie Holmes and Queen Latifah) get bored with their desk jobs at the Federal Reserve and


SHOWTIMES Maui Film Festival

decide to make off with a huge load of cash that’s about to be destroyed. 104 min

Now Showing ALIEN VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM - R - Sci-Fi - And here I thought Alien and Predator had settled all their issues back in 2004. Silly me. Stars a bunch of ìactorsî who must really be desperate for work. 86 min. (Anthony Pignataro) ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS - PG - Family Say it ain’t so! After twenty-something years I have finally, FINALLY gotten the Alvin and the Chpmunks theme song out of my head and now you’re saying they’re back? Nooooooo! (Plot: Chipmunk brothers Alvin, Simon and Theodore are adopted by a human named Dave.) 88 min Starr Begley THE BUCKET LIST - PG13 - Comedy - An aging auto mechanic (Morgan Freeman) and a billionaire corporate executive (Jack Nicholson) go on a skydiving, tatoo-getting, race car-driving mission to do all the things they wanted to do before kicking the bucket after a pair of heart attacks land them in a shared hospital room. 97 min. CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR - R - Drama - Tom Hanks plays U.S. Congressman Charlie Wilson, a womanizing right-winger who convinces the CIA to start arming anti-Soviet guerrillas in Afghanistan during the 1980s. And we all know how wonderfully that little operation turned outÖ 97 min (AP) ENCHANTED - PG - Family - Princess Giselle is banished from her storybook dream land and plopped down in modern-day Manhattan. Prince Charming is waiting for her back on the other side, but she falls for Mr. Wrong in the gritty New York streets. 108 min FIRST SUNDAY - PG13 - Comedy - Two bumbling thieves get up close and personal with the Almighty when an attempt to rip of their neighborhood church for thousands of dollars goes horribly wrong. 138 min. THE GOLDEN COMPASS - PG13 - Action Daniel Craig and Dakota Blue Richards star in this imaginative movie that tells the story of a land where people’s soul’s manifest themselves into animals. A twelve year old girl (Richards) must save not only their world but hte regular human world as well. 114 min (SB) I AM LEGEND - PG13 - Sci-Fi - Will Smith plays the last guy on Earth, which makes me think twice about the, “I wouldn’t screw you if you were the last guy on earth” line. Anyway, he’s (along with his trusty side-kick German Shepherd) looking for a cure to the cancer-killing virus that wiped out the planet. Oh yeah, and there’s hairless flesh eating vampires. Can’t forget about them. 100 min (SB) IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON


SIEGE TALE - PG13 - Sci-Fi - Bloodthirsty beasts go postal on a small village and a peace-loving family man is forced to take up arms against an evil sorcerer who’s bent on overthrowing the king. 150 min JUNO - PG13 - Comedy - Juno is a teen who, though really smart, ends up pregnant, then decides to find the perfect wealthy, suburban couple to raise her baby. Iím sure this kind of thing happens all the time. 91 min. (AP) NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS - PG - Action - Nic Cage goes on another ass-kicking global quest on the hunt for treasure and hidden history when a missing page from the diary of John Wilkes Booth reveals details about the murder of good old Abe Lincoln. 124 min NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - R - Thriller Tommy Lee Jones plays a tired West Texas sheriff trying to catch a brutal but really odd looking killer who is himself chasing a guy who found a bunch of money. Directed by the Coen Brothers. 122 min. (AP) ONE MISSED CALL - R - Horror - Hot college girls receive blood-curdling voice mails from their near-future selves at the moment of their death, then die three days later. These calls are punctuated by an ominous ring tone, and one unlucky young lady is racing against time to discover what the f*# is going on. P.S. I LOVE YOU - PG13 - Drama - Holly is devastated when her husband falls ill and dies suddenly, but is soon shocked and comforted by a series of letters and messages that are delivered from him from beyond the grave. New meaning is given to the term “romance is dead.” 126 min. THE PIRATES WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING: A VEGGIETALES MOVIE - G Family - Parents will go to some extreme lengths to get their kids interested in eating their vegetables, including sitting through this silly tale about three animated veggie friends in pirate hats and eye patches. 85 min SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET - R - Musical - Tim Burton and Johnny Depp pair up again in this gory and gothic tale about a serial-killing barber who slits the throat of his patrons before passing on the bodies to his devious side-kick girlfriend who grinds up the bodies and puts them in meat pies, which are then sold back to an unsuspecting public. Sounds like musical material to me! 117 min THE WATER HORSE: LEGEND OF THE DEEP - PG - Family - Once upon a time in Scotland a young boy finds an unusual egg and takes it home to hatch, nurtures it and releases it in a lake, giving life to the strange creature soon to be immortalized in history as the Loch Ness monster.111 min.

Castle Theater, 572-3456 Ira and Abby - R - W only 5, 7:30

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, 249-2222 27 Dresses - PG - F, M-W 3:45, 6:30, 9; Sa-Su 1:15, 3:45, 6:30, 9 Alvin and the Chipmunks - PG - Th only 4, 6:45, 9:15 Charlie Wilson’s War - R - Th only 6:30, 9:10 First Sunday - PG13 - Th 4:15, 7, 9:30; F, M-W 4:15, 7, 9:15; Sa-Su 1:45, 4:15, 7, 9:15 Mad Money - PG13 - F, M-W 4, 6:45, 9:15, SaSu 1:30, 4, 6:45, 9:15 National Treasure: Book of Secrets - PG - Th 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. F, M-W 3:30, 6:30, 9:20; Sa-Su 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:20 The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep - PG Th only 3:45

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 27 Dresses - PG - F-W 11:50, 2:15, 4:45, 7:10, 9:45 Alvin and the Chipmunks - PG - Th 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7. F-W 12:25, 2:35, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30 The Bucket List - PG13 - Th 12:05, 2:30, 5, 7:25; F-W 12, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:40 Charlie Wilson’s War - R - Th only 12:10, 2:45, 5:05, 7:30 Cloverfield - PG13 - F-W 12:35, 3, 5:20, 7:40, 10 National Treasure: Book of Secrets - PG - Th 12:35, 3:55, 7:15; F-W 12:45, 3:40, 7:15, 9:35 The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A Veggietales Movie - G - Th-W 12:35, 5:25 The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep - PG Th 12:25, 2:55, 5:25, 7:55; F-W 2:55, 7:30.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 27 Dresses - PG - F-Su 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:55; M-W 1:15, 4:15, 7:15. The Bucket List - PG13 - Th, M-W 1:30, 4:30, 7:30; F-Su 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10 Charlie Wilson’s War - R - Th only 1:15, 4:15, 7:15 Cloverfield - PG13 - F-Su 1:45, 4:45, 7:45, 10; M-W 1:45, 4:45, 7:45 I am Legend - PG13 - Th only 1:45, 4:45, 7:45 National Treasure: Book of Secrets - PG - Th, M-W 1, 4:05, 7; F-Su 1, 4:05, 7, 9:45

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 Alien vs. Predator: Requiem - R - Th only 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20 Atonement - R - F-Su 12:40, 3:30, 6:45, 9:35; M-W 3:30, 6:45, 9:35. Enchanted - PG - Th, M-W 3:05, 6:50, 9:25; FSu 12:15, 3:05, 6:50, 9:25 First Sunday - PG13 - Th, M-W 2:25, 4:50, 7:30, 9:55; F-Su 12, 2:25, 4:50, 7:20, 9:55 The Golden Compass - PG13 - Daily 1:40, 4:20, 6:55, 9:45. I am Legend - PG13 - Th 1:30, 2:05, 4, 4:35, 6:30, 7:05, 9, 9:35. F-W 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - PG13 - Th, M-W 3:30, 6:40, 9:35; F-Su 12:35, 3:30, 6:40, 9:35 Juno - PG13 - Th, M-W 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30; F-Su 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30 Mad Money - PG13 - F-Su 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10; M-W 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. No Country For Old Men - R - Th, M-W 3:30, 6:35, 9:20; F-Su 12:40, 3:30, 6:35, 9:20 One Missed Call - R - Th, M-W 2:45, 5, 7:25, 9:50; F-Su 12:20, 2:45, 5, 7:25, 9:50 P.S. I Love You - PG13 - Th, M-W 3:20, 6:30, 9:30; F-Su 12:30, 3:20, 6:30, 9:30 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - R - Daily 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:40.

Wharf Cinema Center


5 PM & 7:30 PM

$10 WITH 4-FILM MFF PASS Single Tickets - $12 Phone: 572-3456

658 Front Street, 249-2222 The Bucket List - PG13 - Th-F, M-W 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15; Sa-Su 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Cloverfield - PG13 - F, M-W 1:30, 3:45, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 11:30, 1:30, 3:45, 6:30, 9 In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - PG13 - Daily 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. One Missed Call - R - Th 1:30, 3:45, 6:30, 9. F, M-W 1:15. Sa-Su 11, 1:15


JANUARY 17, 2008



Makin Thru the Breakthru Talking to the popular Maui musician about the ‘memoir of his life’

Photos: Sean Michael Hower

Makin Thru the Breakthru is the first solo album of Kanoa Kukaua, better known as Kanoa of the band Gomega. I thought it safe to presume that popping the CD into my player would bring a flood of the all too familiar reggae beat which seems to dominate the repertoire of most local musicians. But I was wrong. Don’t get me wrong—I think reggae’s great. But I find the bulk of the local music I’ve heard to be amateurish and formulaic, focusing on the entirely unoriginal topics of partying, lush island women and shallow promises of a true and all-conquering love. But Kanoa’s Makin Thru the Breakthru, I was pleasantly surprised to find, is a refreshing album containing a montage of sounds from a variety of musical genres laced with intelligent, relatable lyrics. The artist himself describes it as a “soul album with hints of pop and a touch of reggae.” When I met with Kanoa and Ipo Kahele, his manager, it didn’t take long for me to recognize that they are kind and gracious people. Kanoa’s humility was evident by his eagerness to thank those who have helped and inspired him throughout this musical process. Kanoa said that “Gomega,” the name of his band, which formed in 1999, means “to go big.” He said it reflects his desire for the band to take on “a bigger entity” in their musical endeavors. He also expressed frustration at being “pigeonholed” by the expectations of


JANUARY 17, 2008


listeners and critics. He said, with some care, that he’s “a student of music” and that he “respects music too much not to go there”—exploring musical possibilities. “To me, the album is a memoir of my life,” Kanoa said. The song “Breakthru” expresses Kanoa’s determination to make it. He said he got the idea for the title after having his palm read while apprenticing as a tattoo artist. The palm reader told him that success was on its way, but that he had to be patient and “make it through the breakthrough.” Everything from the artwork on the cover to the music and lyrics are a reflection of his life. Indeed, Kanoa poses in six different get-ups on the album cover, representing the many facets of his identity. What’s more, he does this against the backdrop of Pu‘unene Meat Market and the sugar mill, which he said represents “the working man.” The places also hold special significance to Kanoa, as his family lived and worked in Pu‘unene. Tracks like “True,” “Loving You,” “Let Go” and “Pick up the Pieces” are genuine and heartfelt; others, like “Don’t Stop” and “After the Tone” are more playful and fun. Each song stands out with a distinctive sound and message, but doesn’t compromise the album’s overall cohesion. Success is an extremely relative term, but this new album makes it hard to think Kanoa didn’t make it through the breakthrough a long time ago. MTW


DA KINECALENDAR Big Shows Honolulu Symphony Orchestra - Thursday, Jan 17. This collection of incredibly talented musicians was originally founded in 1900, making it the oldest American orchestra West of the Rocky Mountains. They’ll be performing a full-orchestra concert of classic music by Mozart, Mendelssohn, Copland and more, including special performances by “Hawaiian Blossom” Raiatea Helm and principal horn player Wade Butin. A special educational performance for school children will expose the youth to basic music concepts, orchestral instruments and exceptional classical music. All performances are free, no tickets are required. Educational performances: 9:30 a.m., grades K-4; 10:45 a.m., grades 5-8; Full-orchestra concert: 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Da Braddahs - Friday, Jan 18. Those local fools James Roche and Tony Silva are up to their usual funny business, making fun of local cops and playing inane characters, like a Samoan father and son tree trimming duo or a nutty, microphone-wielding Don Ho. Theyíve been cracking up audieces at home on their OC16 Hawaii television program and will be splitting sides live in Kahului, too. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Feelin’ Irie? - Fri., Jan 18. Pick up an awesome new album to cure what ails you. See “Bad Grammar, Good Vibes,” in our Picks of the Week Section. Tickets: $15. 10 p.m., Casanova’s, Makawao. Sista’s and Storytellers - Saturday, Jan 19. In this professional stage production, six former members of a traveling youth choir reunite decades later and reminisce about life, love, music and the bond of friendship. The musical is part of Maui Cultural Diversity Days Celebration. Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, HI, 96793. 242-6969. Joyce Yang - Sunday, Jan 20. At the tender age of 19 I was parting my way through the first years of college and reveling in the independent joy of living away from home. Piano sensation Joyce Yang was collecting awards, making history as the youngest participant in the Van Cliburn International Piano Competition and performing with some of the best and most established symphonies and orchestras. Now, just barely into her 20s, this gifted pianist is captivating audiences around the world. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 5 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului, HI, 96732. 242-7469. Shanghai Circus - Mon., Jan 21 & Tue., Jan 22. Daring acrobatics, astounding acrobatic artistry, unnerving feats of knife-throwing, unbelievable plate spinning, jugglers, contortionists, balancing acts and more at this incredible annual show that brings the best circus performers from China to amaze Maui audiences. Donít miss this yearís show, itís always new, different and exciting. Tickets: $23, $18, $10. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului, HI, 96732. 242-7469.

Tickets on Sale Doug Varone & Dancers - Thu, Jan 24. Doug Varone is praised for taking modern dance beyond spacial movement into a realm of emotional experience and intense storytelling. His trance-inducing choreography and impeccably trained dancers blend music, movement, video and set design into an unforgettable performance. This program will also feature the sounds of ukulele master Jake Shimabukuro. Tickets: $35, $20, $10 . 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.


proceeding Mana’o Radio 91.5 FM. Tickets: $20. 7 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Delilah and the House of Tarab - Sat., Feb 2 & Sun., Feb 3. I saw belly dancers for the first time when I was five years old and ever since I’ve been mesmerized by their mysteriously exotic moves, ornate costumes and powerful sexual auras. These two performances features dances by Mirayah Delamar and Laura Rose accompanied by traditional Arabic music by the House of Tarab and mystical poetry by Dreaming-Bear and Jamei. Tickets: $25. Both shows 7:30 p.m. Feb 2 at the Studio Maui, 575-9390; Feb 3 at McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Events THURSDAY, JAN 17 Soul Motion - Join teacher Zuza Engler in discovering your inner realms of image, spirit and emotion through dance. Class: $18. 10:45 a.m. The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd, Suite 265, Haiku, HI, 96708. 575-9390. Come Out and Play - Elizabeth Ann Brandon, MA wants to make friends with your inner child using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional analysis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 573-2424. Night at the Reef - Snorkeling at night is a bad idea. Visiting a living reef in an aquarium to see what happens under the waves when the sun goes down is a very good one. Plus, you’ll get to learn about conservation programs and how to minimize your impact on the delicate coral reef. Reservations recommended. $18. 6-8 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7088. Learn to Swing Dance - Lindy Hop Swing Dance lessons. Come learn the original swing dance craze that started it all! $5. 7 p.m. North Kihei Villages Club House. 357-1231.

FRIDAY, JAN 18 Biofeedback - Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after liv-

SATURDAY, JAN 19 Swap Meet - I’ve always wanted to unearth some totally awesome treasure at a random flea market. This might be a good place to start. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Pu`unene Ave., Kahului. 877-3100. Hula Classes - Hula Classes - Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. for more info. 9 a.m., Maui Waena School. Laurie Grant Workshop - Learn about an upcoming celestial event and why spiritual leader Laurie Grant says this will have momentous effects on your spirituality. Tickets: $25. 2-4 p.m. Unity Church, Wailuku. 242-9327. Jam Session - Musicians are invited to head on down to Waikapu and jam away with other players. I used to live next door to the community center down there and I swear, it was like a free concert every weekend. Hooray! Bring a chair and your

ays Thursd

instrument. Waikapu Community Center. 3 p.m. 269-2704. Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick: “Vertigo.”. 9:30 p.m. Cafe Mambo, 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, HI, 96779. 579-8021.

SUNDAY, JAN 20 Tantra Temple Services - Embrace the spiritual essence of all faiths with tantra, an ancient highspiritual practice. Free. 10 a.m. 2138 Vineyard St., Wailuku. 244-4103. Soul Motion - Join teacher Zuza Engler in discovering your inner realms of image, spirit and emotion through dance. Class: $18. 10:45 a.m. The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd, Suite 265, Haiku, HI, 96708. 575-9390. Drum Cirlcle - Bring your drum and beat away with others in the community. Free. 4 p.m.-sunset. Kihei. 298-9022. Line Dancing - Practice your ìtush pushî yaíll and come on down for some line dancing by the Maui Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall.

MONDAY, JAN 21 Celebrate Diversity Performance Festival - Maui Cultural Diversity Day’s Martin Luther King, Jr., day festival goes global with performances ranging from Scottish and Irish percussion to African dance and Mexican folklore to Tahitian music and dance. Come join the melting pot!. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, Wailuku. MLK Day - Celebrate visionary leader Martin Luther King, Jr., and his message of peace, justice and tolerance with a march from Maui Community College to Hoaloha Park. Meet at MCC Kaahumanu parking lot and finish with food and festivities in the park. 10:30 a.m. Maui Community College. 879-4748. “I Have a Dream” Concert - This culmination of the Maui Cultural Diversity Day’s Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration includes ukulele and gospel music performances and the Game Kid’s stage production of the original work “We Shall Overcome.” Children

y e a t d u I l o R Abs ge F ction Crazyood G Chanwith DJ FRI with DJ Nutmeg ys Saturda


Joe El Gato

DJ Jay-P

$7 Martinis $2 Domestic Drafts

$7 Martinis $2 Domestic Drafts

$7 Martinis & $2 Domestic Drafts

A`I Family: Generations - Sat, Jan 26. Since 1975, the torch of Hawaiian culture and dance has been passed down through the A’I family, creating one of the largest and most tightly knit halaus in these islands. The children of the A’I family have been musicians and dancers since they learned to walk and talk and have won many major hula competitions. Watch as they blend family and cultural tradition in a masterful display of Hawaiian dance. Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Funny Talk - Fri, Feb 1. Comedian radio commentator and author Wes “Scoop” Nisker has more crazy wisdom in his little finger than I’ve probably got in my whole body. Maybe that’s because he’s spent over 30 years meditating and teaching Buddhist meditation practices. When he’s not oming all day, he writes books like The Big Bang, the Buddha, the Baby Boom and The Essential Crazy Wisdom and makes people think and laugh from the stage. The Mana’o Radio All Star Orchestra will accompany his comedic monologue, with benefits

ing yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den. 573-2424. Contact Improvisation - Sounds dirty, doesn’t it? Actually, it’s exercise meets dance, meditation and stretching. By donation. 4-5 p.m. Maui Lotus Yoga, Kihei. 874-9642. Stellar Rejuvenation - Experience the natural healing benefits of soliton lasers. Free. 4-6 p.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace, Haiku, HI, 96708. 575-9390. Democrats in Action - Join the Maui County Democratic Party for an organizational meeting to prepare for the upcoming Presidential caucus. 6 p.m. ILWU, 896 L. Main St., Wailuku. Pole Party - Ladies, grab your stilettos and take a spin around the pole at this Freestyle Friday hosted by Studio Butterfly. Previous pole or exotic dance class experience is recommended, but not required for a fun, frisky evening. $25. 7-9 p.m. Body in Balance Pilates Studio. 870-8868.

744 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 808.661.9090 • $5 Cover • Visual Enhancements • Large Dance Floor 10-Closing

744 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 808.661.9090 • $5 Cover • Visual Enhancements • Large Dance Floor

744 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 808.661.9090 • $5 Cover • Visual Enhancements • Large Dance Floor




JANUARY 17, 2008


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 01/17

Friday 01/18

Saturday 01/19

Sunday 01/20

Monday 01/21– Wednesday 01/23

Estee Graham No cover, 9pm

A.D.D. Twins No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith Band No cover, 10pm

Sisters Grimm No cover, 9pm

MON-DJ Del Sol, 9pm; TUE-Kahala & Indio of LAWA, 10pm; WED-Crunch Pups unplugged, 9pm

Hand Jive Ja Trio

Pau Hana Party

Borinna Mapaka & Friends $10, 10pm

Rootz (CD release party) $15, 10pm

EOTO $15, 10pm

Dr Maddvibe & the Maddvibe All Stars, $10, 9:30p

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles, DJ Jammin J & DJ Shaggy $10, 10pm






AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

MON - Open Mic

Salsa $5, 10pm

COMPADRES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Unknown No cover, 9pm

Dave Carroll No cover, 9pm

Dave Carroll No cover, 9pm

The Whale Shark No cover, 9pm

MON - Michael Moore; TUE - Jazz Night; WED - The Whale Shark, No cover, 9pm

Ryan Robinson Band No Cover, 10pm

Irish Sing Alongs w/Murray 10pm

Off Tomorrow, No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups Unplugged No cover, 10pm

MON - Silky Ringo, TUE - Scott Baird; WED - Off Tomorrow, All no cover, 9pm

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669


Silky Ringo No cover, 9pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

and adults will experience the events that led up to MLK, Jr,’s, infamous and momentous speech. Free. 3 p.m. Iao Theater, Wailuku. 283-3576. Saving Singles - Learn about investing your money while meeting other saving-savy singles. No fee. 6 p.m. Manana Garage, 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, HI, 96732. 214-5082. Makena Forum - Are you invested in the future of Makena? Then let your voice be heard at the Makena: Past, Present and Future open community forum to examine how development has been and will be evaluated in South Maui. 6-9 p.m. Kihei Community Center. 891-0597. Flamenco for Beginners - Rosalind Modica teaches the passionate and powerful movements of exotic dance from Spain, Morocco, India Persia and other far-away lands. $18 per class. The Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace, Suite 265, Haiku, HI, 96708. 575-9390.

TUESDAY, JAN 22 Soul Motion - Join teacher Zuza Engler in discovering your inner realms of image, spirit and emotion through dance. Class: $18. 10:45 a.m. The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd, Suite 265, Haiku, HI, 96708. 575-9390. Learn Folk Dancing - Every Tue. Shake it folk style with the Maui International and Israeli Folk Dance Group. Learn folk dances from around the globe. 5 p.m. 634 Alulike St., Kihei. 874-5397. Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Every Tue. Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271. SeaTalk - The Coral Reef Assessment and Monitoring Program studies changes in the ocean over space and time, collecting information about threats to the reef. Dr. Ku`ulei Roberts will present “Local and Global Threats to the Stability of Hawai`i’s Coral Reefs,” about the results of their monitoring and controlled experimentation. Free. 6 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Open Ocean Exhibit, Ma`alaea. 270-7075.

WEDNESDAY, JAN 23 Ayurvedic Consultations - Margo P. Uma Gal, CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Makawao. 572-2424. Get Motivated - Learn the SOAR method for strategic planning for your business from professional life coach Susan Kim. Free. 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resourse Center, Maui Mall, 873-8247. Art of Taiko - Kenny Endo, Japanese drum artist, will be demonstrating several different traditional and contemporary styles of music using a variety of drums. Free. 3:30 p.m. Kihei Public Library. 875-6833. WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2. Dance Lessons - Open Registration to learn the cha-cha and foxtrot. $50 for three months. 6:309:30 p.m. Kihei Community Center. 879-0555.

Keiki 24

JANUARY 17, 2008

Marty Dread, $10, $5 Kama aina, 10 p.m.,

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911. Bisque it Baby - Every Mon. Sometimes, as a mom, all you might need is a little time to do something creative. Get together with other Moms and babies and paint something! Maybe a mug or a teapot, and de-stress. Studio fee only. 9-11 a.m., Kids and Company, Maui Mall, 877-7819. Little Music Makers - Every Mon, Wed & Thu. Music Together Maui offers early childhood music programs for infants, toddlers, preschoolers and kindergarteners and the adults who love them. Come play with instruments, sing, chant and dance. Maui Tropical Plantation, Wailuku; Island Spirit Yoga; Lahaina. 572-5603. Music Menagerie - Every Tue. A music inspired hour of dance, story time, puppetry and interactive play for little ones and their parents. $15. 9:15 a.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku. 575-9390. Toddler Tuesdays - Every Tue. Toddlers are insane. Seriously, I can vouch that they are without rational thought. Let them do their thing and cruise with the other crazies for story time, juice, cookies and painting. $15. 10-11 a.m. Maui Mall. 877-7819. Keiki Shots - (Central Maui) - Every first and third Wed of the month. Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-in basis. Free. Wailuku Health Center. 12-3 p.m. 984-8260. Keiki Issues? - Every Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call. Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center. 289-5050. Story Time - Every Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free. 10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 6651114. West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. Yu-Gi-Oh - Every Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

Lecture Free Health Lectures - Matthew Hammond, an intuitive counselor with 28 years of experience in natural medicine, is giving practical health advice on topics like diet and weight loss. 10 a.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 572-2424. Got Money? - May I have some? Before you answer that, check out this Maui group that focuses on economic topics and systems, and explores theories. Bring whatever you are reading for dialog and a readers circle. Various times. Island wide locations. 573-3250.

Environment The Wild Side of Maui - Mon. Learn about humpback whales, sea turtles, monk seals and other ocean creatures from people who really know what they’re talking about (marine naturalists.) 9 a.m., The Mahana at Ka`anapali, 110 Ka`anapali Shores Pl.


Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 249-8811. Volunteer on Vacation - Mon-Sat. Get to know Maui better by volunteering time to one of many important environmental projects. Meet local experts and learn about the history and environment of the land and get a free t-shirt from the Pacific Whale Foundation! Various dates and times. 808-856-8341. Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. Lahaina Civic Center. 6:45 p.m. 870-0052. Coastal Restoration - Fri. Habitat restoration at Waihe`e coastal dunes with Maui Coastal Land Trust. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Waihe`e. 244-5263. Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove. Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center.. RSVP to 856-8341.

Sports Tai Chi - Daily. Practice the 36 movements of the “short yang” style of tai chi chuan. $10 per class. 5:30-6:30 a.m. Unity Church, Wailuku. 242-9327. Walk, Run, Train - Every Tue & Thu. Whether you’re a walker or a runner, you’ve got a group to train with. 5:30 p.m. Runner’s Paradise, Maui Mall. 877-5300. Yoga for Surfers & Paddlers - Tue. An intermediate Yoga class, great for beginners, that targets the shoulders, and focuses on balance, strength & creating flexibility. $12 per class. 5:30-7 p.m. Maui Lotus Yoga, 115 Lipoa Street, Suite 201, Kihei. 874-9642. Bloody Battles - Sat., Jan 19. It’s not for everyone, but if you love brutal beatings, check out “Bloke’s Brawl” in our Picks of the Week section. Pay Per View: $39.95. 10 a.m.

Art Village Galleries Exhibit - Now-Jan 24. For this two-man show the works of Carleton Kinkade depicts old Lahaina cane houses in oils on canvas while those of Kit Gentry focus on realism in landscapes and nature, also in oils on canvas. Village Galleries, 120 Dickenson St., Lahaina. 661-4402. A Celebration of Hawaii - . Now - Feb 12. 60 exceptional local artists, many of them native Hawaiians, will celebrate the culture, history and landscapes of Hawaii in this annual art exhibit of paintings, photography, wood, ceramics, glass and fibers. Viewpoints Gallery, Makawao. 572-5979. Vintage: A Group Exhibit - . Now - Feb 17. View a retrospective collection of works by several influential and established Maui artists. Each will contribute three pieces; one from the early years of their career,

one from the middle and a recent piece that represents their current interests. 11 a.m.- 5 p.m. Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. 242-7469. Art Bistro - Sun. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961. Digital Photography Demo - Fri. Get answers to those pesky photography questions and learn about lighting, exposure, shutter speed and more from artist Shawna McCormick. Free. 6-9 p.m. Quan Gallery, Front Street, Lahaina. 667-2575. Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

POETRY Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114. Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852. Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. 7:30 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091. Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950. Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517 Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome. Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave,

TV/RADIO The Restless Native Speaks - Every Mon. Maui Time Weekly’s own Starr Begley talks story on the Ed and Greg show. 10 a.m., WILD 105.5 FM. Filipino Language - Mon-Fri. Fred Duldulao, Leo Agcolicol, Rey Patao and Maggie Evangelista host a Filipino language talk show. 4-6 a.m.; 7-10 p.m., KNUI 900 AM. Talk of Maui - Mon-Fri. Fred Guzman talks local, state and national poitics and issues. And every Thursday morning at 7:30, Fred grills Maui Time’s own Anthony Pignataro on the latest issues of the day. 6-8 a.m., KNUI 900 AM. Talk Story - Every Mon-Thu. Political figures take calls and answer questions on the air. 7-8 a.m., KAOI 1110 AM. Tune in and call 244-9145. Mind Body Spirit - Every Mon from 6:30-9:30 p.m., Tue from 11 a.m.-2 p.m., and Thu at noon. Liah Howard, psychic and guests. KAOI 1110 AM. Maui Talks - Every Tue. A live, public affairs, call-in talk show, hosted by Nick Nikhilananda. 7 p.m. Channel 53. Call in at 873-3430 or for info call 5728787.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 01/17

Friday 01/18

Saturday 01/19

HECOCKS 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

MGM No cover, 9pm

JACQUES 120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

Monday 01/21– Wednesday 01/23

Sonny B No cover, 10pm

505 Front St, Lahaina - 661-8810


Sunday 01/20

Vince Esquire

Jerry Caires No cover, 9pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

DJ El Gato $10, 10pm

DJ JP No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts No cover

El Vato Loco No cover

Jared No cover

WED - Chico & Da Kine; No cover MON - Crunch Pups, $5, 10pm, WED -Yo Mama, $5, 10pm

Derick Sebastian No cover, 10pm

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811


DJ Music No cover, 10pm

Dickenson St., Lahaina - 661–7082

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Gina Martinelli No cover

DJ Chronic No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts


WED - Local Boys, Jacob, Tony & Matteo; No cover, 10pm

Rampage 9pm

Words of Peace - Every Wed-Thu. Prem Rawat broadcasts messages of world and inner peace. Not associated with a specific religion. Wed, 9 p.m.; Thu, 8:30 a.m. Akaku Channel 52,, 573-3084. Conversations with Friends - Every Thu. Mary Omwake and James Jacobson interview New Thought leaders. 11 a.m., KAOI 1110 AM Smallville - Every Fri. Small Town Maui, a onehour, weekly radio program that shares the memories and values of the small towns we love and explores how we can learn from Maui's past to create a better future. 7 a.m. KAOI, 1110 AM. Call In - Every Fri. Political and public affairs, call-in talk show with Teri Lawrence. 12-1 p.m. KAOI 1110 AM Call in 242-7800. Uncle Charlie’s Corner - Sat. Kahu Charles Kauluwehi Maxwell, Sr. talks story. 6-10 a.m., KNUI 900 AM. Free Zone/ Zona Libre - Every other Sat. A multi-lingual, multi-cultural radio program featuring world music, fresh thought, live interviews with local and international artists and NO commercial breaks. 6-10 a.m. Mana’o Radio 91.5 FM. Maui Matters - Sat-Sun. Pacific Radio Group News Director Wendy Osher discusses local issues. 1-2 p.m., KNUI 900 AM. Spanish Language - Sat-Sun. Carlos David Hernandez discusses news and plays music in Spanish. 2-4 p.m., KNUI 900 AM. Japanese Language - Sun. Yumi’s long-running Japanese language show. 7-8:30 p.m., KNUI 900 AM. Save Honolua - Every Wed at 8 p.m and Thu at 7:30 a.m., AKAKU Channel 53.

KARAOKE Isana Restaurant - Daily, 9 p.m. 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-1811. Kobe Japanese Steakhouse - Fri-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. Lulu’s - Wed, 7 p.m., 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. Sansei - Thu-Fri, 10 p.m., 600 Office Road, Kapalua, 669-6286; Thu-Sat, 10 p.m. Kihei Town Center, 879-0004. Tiffany’s - Daily, 9:30 p.m., 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku, 249-0052. Unisan - Thu-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku, 244-4500.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. Compadres - Tue, 4 p.m., Live music. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189.

Erin Smith 9pm

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Ernest Pua’a; Sat, Sun, Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,“TBA”; Tue, Albert & Roy; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495. Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758. Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881. Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. Sea House Restaurant - Thu, Albert Kaina and Kincade Basques; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincade Basques; Sun, Andrew; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 6:30 or 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI Longhi’s - Sat, acustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206. Moose McGillycuddy’s, Kihei - Fri, Erin Smith; Sat, Anuhea; All sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600. Mulligan’s on the Blue - Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific; All sets 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Thu, Sun, Tue, Tony; Fri, Eclipse; Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa; Wed, Kenny Roberts. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon, Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun, Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI AK’s Cafe - Fri, Ron Kuala’au. 6:15 p.m. , Sat Tarvin Makai 6:15 p.m.1237 L. Main St, Wailuku, 244-8774. Café Marc Aurel - Tue, Live Music; Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852.

Kohohe 9pm

Vince Esquire 9pm

MON - Kanoa; TUE - Open Mic; WED - DJ Shark in da Water, No cover, 10pm

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816. Sushi Go - Wed, Live music. 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Thu, Haiku Hillbillys; Wed, Tom Conway and Randall Rospond. Sat, Live music. All sets 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 5752661. Jacque’s - Mon, Anuhea. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8844. Livewire Cafe - Tue, Green Room Blue; Wed, Eddie Float; Sat, Joshua. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009. Moana Cafe & Bakery - Sat, Live jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI ■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. ■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. ■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi; Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m. ■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m. ■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m. ■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets. Thu, Mon, Tue, Bobby and Ralph; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Sun, Fausto and Kawaika; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly. ■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m. Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri,

Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly. ■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234 Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music. Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo. ■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100 Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music. ■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth. Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends. ■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m. Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 9-11 p.m. ■ RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT 3550 Wailea Alanui, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace - Wed, Thu, Bobby Krueger; Fri, Mahalo Greg; Sat, Rama Camarillo; Sun, Mondo Kane; Mon, Tue, Lono. All sets 6-9 p.m. ■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - (Very early sets) Fri, Mon, Wed, Mele `Ohana Duo. Very early sets 9 a.m-1 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sat, Sun, Tue, Ron Kuala’au; Fri, Mon, Wed, Mele `Ohana Duo. Early sets 6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Wed, Mele `Ohana Duo. Late sets 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m. Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing. 7:30-8:15 p.m.

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to Jessica Armstrong at or fax (808) 244-0446


JANUARY 17, 2008


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 01/17 LOBBY LOUNGE Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

Anastasia & Guest, No cover, 9-11:30pm

Friday 01/18

Saturday 01/19

Sunday 01/20

Monday 01/21– Wednesday 01/23

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 9-11:30pm

Anastasia & Guest No cover, 9-11:30pm

Dr Nat No cover, 9-11:30pm

MON- Anastasia & Guest, TUE-Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, WED- Reiko Fukino & Guest, All 9-11:30pm

Crazy Fingers 9:30pm

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willy’s & DJ Shaggy No cover, 9pm

All Access & DJ Shaggy No cover, 10pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm


WED - Open Mic Night, 10:30pm

4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana - 669-3474

DJ Jo Jo No cover, 9pm

DJ J-Woo No cover, 9pm

Guitar Hero No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mello Yello No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Mello Yello, 9pm; TUE DJ Mackie Mac, 9pm, WED - DJ Mellow Yellow, 9pm

Cyrus C

A Kettle Prime No cover, 9pm

The Sisters Grimm No cover, 10pm

Celtic Tigers

MON - Gypsy Pacific; TUE - Randall Rospond; WED - Steve Sargenti

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Junior Guys, No cover 10pm; TUE - Two Dimes & a Nickel; No cover, 10pm; WED - Open Mic

DJ Nutmeg $5, 10pm

Lounge & Beats No cover, 10pm

MON & TUE - Lounge & Beats, No cover, 10pm; WED - Live Music, $5, 10pm

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Del Sol, DJ JR, 10pm; TUE - DJ Boomshot, No cover, 10pm; WED - ADD Twins, No cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in da Water, No cover, 9:30pm

TUE - The New Project, $5, 10pm; WED - DJ Del Sol, No cover, 9:30pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OYSTER BAR 744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

DJ El Gato $5, 10pm

Live Jazz No cover, 9pm

PACIFIC’O 505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ Durty No cover, 10pm

Freaky Friday w/DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

DJ Blast, $15, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA Hyatt Regency, Ka`anapali - 667-4727

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9:30pm

Maui Magic w/ Fatima $3, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

Yo Mama No cover, 9:30pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 9:30pm


DJ Magnetic, DJ JP No cover, 10pm

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

LAWA $5, 10pm

Ohana Groove No cover, 10pm

2 FOR 1


Purchase any breakfast meal and receive your 2nd breakfast meal of equal or lesser value for FREE! A vailable only for dine-in. Good at any Moose location on Maui & Oahu. Valid during breakfast hours only. Beverages not included. This promotion is subject to change or cancellation without notice.

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758


JANUARY 17, 2008


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JOIN OUR FIVE-STAR TEAM! RELIEF MANAGER CASHIERS FT ASS’T HD. MEATCUTTER F/T FISH CUTTER CLERKS: PRODUCE COURTESY • GROCERY FT & PT positions. Customer service oriented individuals needed for our Honokowai Store in Maui. Excellent benefits. Flexible shifts available. An Equal Opportunity Employer OUTDOOR YOUTH COUNSELOR Make more than a living. Make a difference. Immediate job opportunities at Eckerd outdoor therapeutic programs in NC, TN, GA, FL, VT, NH and RI. Year-round residential position, free room & board, competitive salary/benefits. Info and apply online: Or fax resume to Career Advisor/AN, 727-442-5911. EOE/DFWP (AAN CAN) $ MODELS WANTED $ For magazine print work. $250$900. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 HAIKU GROCERY STORE looking for PT MEAT CUTTER. Apply at 810 Haiku Road ADVERTISING SALES Reps and/or Managers. Up to 50% commission, gas, cell, renewals. Telemarketing support. 1-800-7524309 BARTENDERS NEEDED Looking for part/full time bartenders. Several positions available.No experience required.With hourly wages and tips make up to $300 per shift. Call(800)806-0082 ext.200.(AAN CAN) DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS NEEDED! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly Working From Home! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Necessary! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! (AAN CAN) GOVERNMENT JOBS Earn Up to $12 to $48/Hour. Benefits, Paid Training, Homeland Security, Law Enforcement, Administrative, Clerical, Office, Accounting, Finance, Wildlife, More! 1-800-320-9353 x.2001. (AAN CAN)

RUSTY HARPOON Oceanfront on Kaanapali Beach Busy season is here!! • PREP COOK • LINE COOK BISTRO COOK • SOUS CHEF Apply within 8 to 5 pm -No phone calls please-


JANUARY 17, 2008

Freeman Guards, Inc. Immediate hires needed Lahaina F/T-P/T, & F/T Manager Apply at: 210 Imi Kala St., Ste. 4 Wailuku Industrial Call 244-7052

BB Trucking & Storage


Come and venture into an exciting world with Destination Resorts Hawaii, Inc. We are seeking self-motivated, experienced individuals to provide exceptional guest service. Ideal candidates need to be service-oriented, reliable, responsible and honest.

HAWAII’S FASTEST GROWING HEALTHCARE COMPANY SEEKS: AUTHORIZATION TECHNICIAN Assists with the Behavioral Health/Medical Management administrative functions. Responsibilities include telephone communication with medical & behavioral health care providers & members; processing of request for service in a timely manner; and maintaining accurate records & documentation. Must have excellent computer & customer service skills, be detail-oriented, flexible, have a positive attitude & be adaptable to changing priorities. Medical office exp. or previous managed care and demonstrated knowledge of medical terminology, ICD-9 and CPT coding is required. Medical Assistant exp. preferred. Fax or e-mail your resume w/salary history and current requirement to:




Apply in person 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Azeka II Mauka

for wholesale operation

PASTRY CHEF / BAKER for new restaurant opening soon. Salary plus benefits Apply at 810 Kokomo Rd. Haiku Town Center or call 573-8056

FULL-TIME Primary Teacher’s Assistant Work with students pre-K thru K. Early childhood education or Montessori experience preferred. Fax cover letter & resume to 573-0389 or email to Website: No Phone Calls Please

A GREAT OPPORTUNITY For a motivated individual! Excellent wages & benefits. The Indich Collection, Hawaiian Rugs: Sales and Deliveries. Heavy lifting required. Clean driving abstract a plus.

Call Tammy - 877-7200


SCUBA INSTRUCTORS & CAPTAIN For Full Time or Part Time work, please call Call 573-3210 leave message

Seeking qualified Auto Tech & Helper for busy Kula shop. Call 250-2698


with clientele. Rent negotiable.

Call 357-2428

Opening Soon in Maalaea Harbor Shops and Restaurants (Old Blue Marlin)




Beach Bums Bar & Grill


VIBE MOVEMENT ART STUDIO in Paia is looking for Teachers. Dance, Martial Arts, Yoga, Hula or any type of movement classes. Call 280-7975

Minimum requirements: College degree or equivalent business experience preferred. Minimum one-year experience in resort hospitality field. Previous Human Resources/Interviewing experience desirable. Basic computer skills and data entry knowledge. Proficient in Microsoft Office programs (Excel, Word, Outlook). Ten-key by touch desirable. Working knowledge of HRIS, ADP Payroll system and TimeSaver desirable. Considerable knowledge of EEO, Affirmative Action and Federal/State labor laws. Able to maintain a positive/professional attitude while interacting with the public and all property associates. Excellent verbal and written communication skills. Detail oriented and ability to handle multiple tasks at once. Good organizational and follow through skills. Strong team player. Excellent time management skills.

Fax: (808) 973-6345 Email: Equal Opportunity Employer

Apply at: 320 Hoohana St., Bay 13-16, Kahului

Tree Trimmers & Ground Help. F/T. No Drugs. Driver’s License Req. Call 572-1636


JECO AIR CONDITIONING is seeking EXPERIENCED A/C TECH Pay based on experience. Good benefits. Fax resume to 808-244-0216

Now accepting applications for Dishwasher & PM Cook. Interviews Wednesday – Saturday 10-4. 300 Maalaea Rd.



looking for team players, must be able to work weekends. 401K, Medical benefits. Apply in person: 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Accepting applications for the following FT & PT positions.

HOST/HOSTESS PM COOK Pay based on experience. in person after 10am

The Shops at Wailea 3750 Wailea Alanui Drive


is looking for fun & energetic people for

ALL KITCHEN HELP Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner shifts. Apply in person at 1945 S. Kihei Road between 2-4pm

RENTAL SUPERVISOR II (F/T) Based on qualifications: $16.50 - $22.00 High school diploma or high school equivalency certificate; college degree preferred; at least 1 year of supervisory experience in condo/resort preferred; good oral and written communication skills; detail-oriented; ability to interact and build positive relationships with others; ability to stand and/or sit for long periods; ability to walk for long distances; able to lift 20-30 pounds; valid Hawaii driver’s license and clean driving record required; computer skills required; working knowledge of SMS property management system and Microsoft Office programs preferred.

HOUSEKEEPERS (F/T AND P/T) Based on qualifications: *$14.50 (*Piecework basis comparable to a potential average hourly wage.)

HOUSEPERSON (F/T) Excellent benefits package and bonus incentives! Apply online at: Human Resources located in Kihei at the Azeka Mauka Shopping Center, 1279 S. Kihei Road, Suite 118B (behind Powerhouse Gym) An Equal Opportunity Employer/Drug Free Work Place


Non-profit, seeking compassionate individual to provide life skills training to adults with disabilities in a group home setting. Salary ($22K/yr.) and private room provided. Required: H.S. diploma or equivalent, D.L. w/clean traffic abstract. Desired: Social/Human Service exp. Send resume w/ cover letter & position title to:

STEADFAST HOUSING DEVELOPMENT CORP. 677 Ala Moana Blvd., #713, Honolulu, HI 96813 Fax: 808-599-1821 or Email:

Maui Brewing Co. in Kahana is hiring experienced line cooks. Call Aaron 214-4751

AM WAIT STAFF Apply in person 1770 Mill St., Wailuku No phone calls please!

NEEDED: Motivated Sales & Sales Mgmt. for Dr. Organics, Inc. Local territories now opening! The nation's fastest growing pharmaceutical grade products!




COME JOIN ONE OF HAWAII’S BEST PLACES TO WORK! MAHANA 110 Kaanapali Shores Pl. • Lahaina, HI 96761

We are searching for motivated and energetic individuals for:


Responsible for training and supervision of front office team members. Act as liaison between shifts, and assign schedules and duties daily. HIgh school diploma or equivalent required, and previous experience in a supervisory role preferred.


Responsible for the interior maintenance of property and common areas as assigned by supervisor. HIgh school diploma or equivalent and at least 2 years experience in maintenance required.


Check guests in/out, make guest and owner reservations, and process all guest charges. Resolve guest issues in order to maintain the highest levels of guest satisfaction. High school diploma or equivalent, and at least 1 year experience in customer service required.


Clean guest rooms, according to preset standards by vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning kitchens and making beds. High school diploma or equivalent preferred. Knowledge of cleaning equipment, methods, and chemicals also preferred. No initial experience required.


Prepare rental units for cleaning. Deliver supplies, linens, and other items to the cleaning attendants/linen rooms as directed by supervisor. High school diploma or equivalent preferred. No initial experience required. Comprehensive benefit options include medical, dental options, life insurance and 401K with company match. Apply now in person at the resort or fax resume to 808-661-8315. EOE

SCOOTERS 05 Honda Metro AUTO $1,695 92 Yamaha Jog FAST $1,295 03 Honda Elite FUN $1,000

MOTORCYCLES 06 Honda Big Ruckus 250 $4,495 04 Honda Goldwing $11,999 97 Yamaha XV535 $1,495 98 Honda Valkrie $4,995

DIRT BIKE 04 Honda CR250R $2,795 05 Gas Gas Trails 50CC $895 02 Honda XR70 $1,095 07 Yamaha YZ450F $4,295 01 Honda CR80 $1,695




Maui Motorcycle

$500 POLICE IMPOUNDS Cars from $500! Tax Repos, US Marshall and IRS Sales! Cars, Trucks, SUV’s, Toyota’s, Honda’s, Chevy’s and more! For Listings Call 1-800-298-4150 xC107. (AAN CAN)

Seeking a full time experienced registered nurse to work in OB/GYN. Duties to include assessing, teaching, coordinating care and following up with patients. Previous OB/GYN experience. License required.


Full-time certified Medical Assistant needed to prepare patient charts, triage, obtain vitals, and other duties as directed by Providers and Nurses. 3-5 years experience required. Must be qualified to administer injections. Must have own transportation to work at satellite clinics and a valid driver’s license.


To provide treatment for tobacco addiction in Wailuku, Kahului and Lahaina. Bachelor’s or higher degree in psychology, social work, or a related field, plus experience. Ability to work independently, provide motivation and inspiration to smokers wanting to quit, collect and report data, network, attend training and meetings, and work closely with a team of healthcare professionals required. Excellent benefits, salary commensurate with education/experience. The clinic offers a flexible work environment, full medical and dental premiums paid by the clinic for the employee, 14 paid holidays, 3 weeks vacation for your second year of service and competitive wages.

Send resumes to:


48 Lono Ave., Kahului, 96732 or fax to (808) 873-6320 Equal





PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Pisces can range from wildly high-maintenance to so low-maintenance they’re virtually invisible, often in the same day. What freaks most people out is that they can’t understand how you went from point A, where everything had to be just so or you were going to lose it, to point B, where everything is hunky-dory just the way it is. This week, even if you can’t make the transitions less jarring, could you at least try to explain them to the people who are zigzagging madly just to keep up?

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Anything can be a source of spiritual fulfillment if you approach it from the right direction and travel deeply enough into it. Some things lend themselves more easily than others to enlightenment, but I’ll also contend that there is no one true path, nor even a finite number of true paths. It could be difficult to make a profound, soulful practice out of shopping at the mall, but I’m certain it’s possible, should you choose. Don’t try to conform to someone else’s path unless it really speaks to you. Instead, really focus on forging your own. You know where you’re going, right? So stop worrying about the precise route it takes to get there.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Once, the more status or power you had, the closer you lived to the royal palace so you could visually see someone’s place in society by where they lived. Feeling royal, Taurus? People aren’t likely to move their houses and restructure their lives to revolve around you, but they may move ever so subtly in that direction this week. Don’t let your unasked-for virtual nobility go to your head, though. Tyranny won’t get you far. Benevolence, fair-mindedness, and generosity are, naturally, the orders of the day.




Seeking full time experienced RN or LPN to work in triage. Screen patient symptoms for urgency and directs them to the most appropriate care. Previous experience in hospital or clinic. License required.

It’s probably hard to tell whether the stars are lining up for you, or if it just seems that way. You wish I’d tell you whether or not to make that big, bold move, the one you think will only work if all the random elements happen to go your way. However, you shouldn’t be waiting for an astrological go-ahead to play a serious game. You should try to hit a home run every time you step up to bat, not just when the winds are blowing in the right direction and the crowd is chanting your favorite cheer. The odds are what you make them, and the level of your determination will decide whether or not you succeed this time, not random chance or astrological fortune.






185 E.Wakea, Kahului

O P E N I N G S:


Don’t judge. You can’t afford it. Your job this week is to let things slide, to bite your tongue and bide your time. There are more than enough critics around, and adding your voice to the mix isn’t likely to generate any significant change, besides pissing off your fellow critics (“What? We didn’t say it right the first time?”) as well as those you’re criticizing (“I know, I know! Quit nagging me!”). I envy you; letting go of your judgments—or at least not expressing them—may not be easy, but if you get the hang of it, it sure is fun.

1161 Lower Main St., Wailuku





BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES HELP WANTED Earn Extra income assembling CD cases from Home. Start Immediately. No Experience Necessary. 1-800-405-7619 ext.150 (AAN CAN) MAKE $150/HOUR Get paid cash for your opinion! Earn $5 to $75 to fill out simple surveys online. Start NOW! (AAN CAN) SE BUSCAN! Distribuidores activos, comprometidos y con ganas de seguir siendo parte de la familia Omnilife! Deseen ganar $400 dlls o mas. Llama ya 808-4638461 Solo Espanol SPORTS & INJURY BODY WORKER Part-time opportunity for insured, female LMT. 808-250-9537



Go give blood. Find unusual ways to share parts of yourself with others. With this week’s Full Moon in Leo, some of your worst qualities may be coming out in force, especially your occasional tendency to be bossy or selfish. The only way to counteract them is to also consciously embody some of Leo’s more redeeming traits, especially their warm generosity. You’re already naturally generous to those you love, so this week focus on ways to be openhanded to people you don’t know, and finding new ways to help those you do.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) When things are good, being a Leo rocks. People lavish you with adoration and attention. You respond by being the generous, radiant superstar they expect. When things suck, it’s less fun; without the validation of all that attention, acting like a superstar—generous or otherwise—just makes you seem like an egotistical moron. Don’t you wish there was some way to pocket some of the overflowing brilliance of the good times, so you could let it out during the bad ones? There is. Since this week’s likely to rock, see if you can figure out how to bank some of its delicious goodness for use at a later, less fortunate date.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Don’t let your cleverness be a sticking point. In other words, don’t rub people’s faces in it. They’ll notice it eventually. If someone misses a brilliant joke of yours, don’t repeat it until they acknowledge it. Let it pass unremarked. There’s more where that come from. It’s not often that your ego gets the best of you, but this is one week where it might do just that. Trust that people will ultimately get a handle on who you really are: a modest, smart, and extremely good person. If they don’t get that right away, don’t go out of your way to try to prove it to them; that’s likely to have exactly the opposite effect.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Just shut up. I mean that in the kindest way possible. This week you may have a tendency towards long-windedness, without even noticing. If you’d like to make a good first impression, the less you say, the better. That might feel taciturn and rude, but it probably won’t come off that way—people will tend to interpret your relative silence to mean you’re self-effacing, intelligent, and a good listener. If you blather on, you won’t get the benefit of the doubt all that often; in fact, people will assume you’re a pompous windbag. Neither extreme is especially justified, based on the information given, but if they’re going to go one way or the other, wouldn’t the former be the better way to go?

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) At a party recently, a Scorpio friend of mine and I were cornered by a notorious name-dropper. My sting-wielding friend shut her down by calling over another acquaintance we know who’s unduly impressed with celebrity. “Sharon,” Scorp said, “This is Bill. Bill loves dropping names, too! You two should get along famously. Ciao!” Tact, I learned, is for the weak. Forget it. Calling it like you see it— preferably with charm and a sense of humor, is totally the way to go. Don’t forget compassion as you share the unadulterated truth with people who need to hear it, but don’t let it stop you from imparting important information that people need to hear. They’ll never thank you for it, I promise—but the rest of us will.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Leave scorn off the menu, whatever else you decide to bring to dinner. People are likely to be especially sensitive to what you think of them this week, so be at your kindest and most generous, and be willing to give people every benefit of the doubt. There are enough sharp-tongued people shooting others down when they disapprove right now; adding your voice to the mix could push some folks over the edge. That’s not say you’re not entitled to your own honest opinion; I would simply suggest being careful and caring if and when you express it.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) You probably feel slightly abandoned and left out in the cold. That’s because you have been, but don’t take it too hard. It’s not that you don’t have supporters, it’s that they’ve dropped the ball on rallying to your aid. They will, eventually—probably as soon as next week. When they do, don’t be bitter and holler at them that it’s too late, and reject their help just because it didn’t come when you could have used it most. They’re likely to have good excuses for not being around when you most needed them. Adopt a better-late-than-never attitude and thank them instead, or next time it will be never rather than late.


JANUARY 17, 2008


POST OFFICE JOBS AVAILABLE. WHALES ARE BACK AND SO Avg. Pay $20/hour or $57K Annually ARE HEATED WETSUITS including Federal Benefits and OT. Dive with SHAKA DIVERS in luxuriPaid Training, Vacations. PT/FT. 1- ous warmth this winter. 866-616-7019 USWA(AAN CAN) Professionally Guided SCUBA Tours and Lessons Daily 9 AM 2 PM & 5 Movie Extras, Actors, Models! PM Night Dives. Scooter Dives too! Make $100-$300/day. No Exp. Req. (808) 250-1234 Diving with Meet celebrities, Full Time/Part ‘Shaka~Doug’ is SHAKARIFIC! Time, All looks needed! Call Now! 1-800-556-6103 extension 528 MEDIA MAKE-UP ARTISTS (AAN CAN) Earn up to $500/day for television, ****$700-$800,000 FREE CASH CD/videos, film, fashion. One GRANTS/PROGRAMS-2007! week course in Los Angeles while Personal bills, School, building portfolio. Brochure 310Business/Housing. Approx. $49 bil- 364-0665 lion unclaimed 2006! Almost every- http://www.MediaMakeupArtists.c one qualifies! Live operators1-800- om (AAN CAN) 592-0362 Ext. 235. (AAN CAN)


MYSTERY SHOPPERS Get paid to shop! Retail/Dining PENIS ENLARGEMENT establishments need undercover medical vacuum clients to judge quality/customer APPROVED service. Earn up to $70 a day. Call pumps, VIAGRA, Testosterone, 1-800-901-9370 (AAN CAN) Cialis. Gain 1”-3” permanently. Free Brochures. Se Habla Espanol HOME REFUND JOBS! 619-294-7777, 24/7, http://www.getEarn $3,500 - $5,000 Weekly (AAN CAN) Processing Company Refunds Online! Guaranteed Paychecks! No DO YOU HAVE BAD BREATH? Experience Needed! Positions We can help. Send for our FREE Available Today! Register Online Now! GUIDE to revolutionary new (AAN CAN) ment. THERABREATH OFFERC1750 N. Highland Hollywood CA KIHEI RESTAURANT 90038 New lease available. (AAN CAN)

Fully equipped. High traffic. $65K. Michael Capuano 873-7133

BUY & SELL $8 PRESCRIPTION EYEGLASSES. Custom made to your prescription, stylish plastic or metal frame, Highindex, UV protection, antiscratch lens, case, lenscloth for only $8. Also available: Rimless, Titanium, Children’s, Bifocals, Progressives, Suntints, ARcoating, etc. http://ZENNIOPTICAL.COM (AAN CAN)

ARTS ADULT ISSUES AND EMOTIONS Exposed by Branch Isole The ‘Voyeuristic Poet’ Old Lahaina Book Emporium

LARGE STUDIO APARTMENT IN KIHEI Completely remodeled bath, kitchen & living space. Fully furnished with all new furniture, central a/c, washer/dryer, lani, garage. Utilities and cable T.V. included. $1700 Call 264-0950

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: (AAN CAN)

VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or

Kaimana’s Beach Hale at Baby Beach Special this month. $125-$195 a day. Your own private Ohana. Continental breakfast served. Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W. Call 667-6968 for info.

SERVICES MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, newspaper, & cardboard. Home Pickup; a convenience for $17.50/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443


LOLOHEA MASON CREDIT REPAIR! Rockwall, fencing and driveway. Erase bad credit legally Money Lowest prices. Licensed and back Warranty. FREE Consultation insured. Call 808-205-1777 & Information: 1.866.410.7676 $CASH$ Immediate cash for structured set(AAN CAN) tlements, annuities, law suits, inheritance, mortgage notes & ALOHA VALUED READERS #1 timeshare marketplace. Rent, cash flows. J.G. WENTWORTH #1 buy, sell. NEW full-service exchange! We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of 1-800-794-7310 (AAN CAN) Compare prices 5000+ resorts. our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that JEWELRY • DIAMONDS ad is a national ad and was not subproviding Landscaping, Tree trimming, WATCHES • COINS mitted directly to us. If you have a Stonewalls and Concrete work. Licensed. COLORED STONES question directly concerning AAN MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS CAN, please check out



808-264-6997 ask for Tevita


WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA PETS AKC GREAT DANE PUPS $2,000. Serious inquiries only! Championship lines. 808-573-5843

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION MUSIC TOGETHER MAUI Early Childhood Development Classes Stimulates Brain Growth. Parents participate, kids age zero to five absorb the language of music. Classes forming now through Mid-March. or 572-5603. Jump-start your child’s learning.


JANUARY 17, 2008

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 1-866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

GERMAN CLEANING & ORGANIZING offers thorough house cleaning & ordering. Detail oriented & reliable, refs. available.

Call 385-1323 REAL ESTATE FOR SALE STOP RENTING! Government and bank foreclosures! $0 to low down! No credit check ok. Call now! 1-800-4548939 (AAN CAN)


BANK FORECLOSURES Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom available! HUD, Repos, REO, etc. These homes must sell! For Listings Call 1-800-425-1620 ext. H107. (AAN CAN)



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Glass House Last week I got home from work a little early and rekindled my relationship with an old flame: Daytime Television. Yes, I totally got sucked into Dr. Phil and Oprah and loved all 120 minutes of it. The Dr. Phil episode was about this married couple with three kids that had separated. The wife was a total anorexic spaz and the husband was a slightly stalkerish good ol’ boy. During their separation the wife started banging some other guy on the side, so the husband started stalking her. Prior to their separation, they admitted to major throw-downs that took place in front of the kids. “Child abuse,” Dr. Phil said in the quote of the episode. “Hateful words, but you need to stop that behavior, or I’m gonna stop it for ya’ll.” Sitting back on the couch, sharing a bowl full of Lucky Charms with my son, I felt pretty smug about myself as I listened to that. I may not be up for the Mom of the Year Award, but at least I can’t be accused of abusing my kids. That’s the beauty of daytime TV. It makes us viewers at home feel downright self-righteous. Don’t know about you, but I love feeling self-righteous. I do it all the time. Of course, it’s amazing how quickly things can change. Very quickly you can end up face down in a pile of emotional poo that’s deep enough to drown in. Which brings me to right now, the night before my column’s due. I’m sitting at the computer, trying to catch up on work I neglected during the weekend. There’s a huge knot in my stomach, only partly because I skipped dinner after losing my appetite. My husband is sitting across from me–our computers back to back like we’re engaged in some sort of marital BattleShip competition. And the Ying Yang Twins and assaulting my ears from his laptop’s speakers: The way she move she got the fire in her eyes... She’s so dangerous... Scandalous… I love the scandal... She’s dangerous... Every now and then his head wobbles to the beat and I start picturing him as a tacky bobble-head doll, stuck on the dashboard of an even tackier purple Chevy Nova. I imagine pulling the head of the bobble doll up, up, up, until the spring is too stretched out to boing back, and then letting it drop. We’re fighting. I’ll spare you the details—and myself the repercussions of airing my dirty laundry out to the unforgiving public—but it’s bad. Dr. Phil wouldn’t touch our marriage today. Nope, we’re 100 percent Jerry Springer. The worst part about our spat is that it didn’t just end in-house like most of our disagreements. No, this one is ugly and spilled out everywhere, coating nearly every aspect of our lives. What do you do when your spouse goes off the deep end? How do you back someone you passionately disagree with? How do you talk things over with someone that you, frankly, want to strangle? As I sit here and type, I wonder if The Hubby is using that little dinosaur brain of his by asking the same questions I am. I understand that sometimes things reach a boiling point. But I don’t understand why it has to happen. And what about misplaced anger? I’m guilty of that all the time. We tend to take it out on the people that we know who will grin and bear it. And that really sucks. It makes us shitty friends, parents, kids and spouses. Lord knows that I’ve lost my head before and have a temper that burns fierce–blazing hot and quick—but when it comes down to it, I’m afraid of anger’s repercussions. And I’m afraid that if I ever got on daytime TV, Dr. Phil would make me realize that I’m a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad person. Starr Begley does not need Women Helping Women, but could use a cattle prod in working condition. MTW

Mind Body

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JANUARY 17, 2008


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Trying to get in touch with BRIAN SLAGLE. Brian Where are you ? Are you still on Maui ? Send me an email Do you know BRIAN SLAGLE ? If you know BRIAN SLAGLE please drop me a line. Mahalo.

MAUI’S HOTTEST “CALL-IN” RADIO PROGRAM Tune in every FRIDAY at our NEW TIME *NOON* on KAOI 1110 AM. Call in 808-242-7800.

ON THE FLY BOOKKEEPING Bookkeeping when you need it. Call Terez @ 808-276-1650

Air Maui Helicopter Tours 2 for 1 Special! West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2007. For reservations call 877-7005

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11.30 The Kai Anela Incident, January 17, 2008, Volume 11, Issue 30, MauiTIme  
11.30 The Kai Anela Incident, January 17, 2008, Volume 11, Issue 30, MauiTIme  

MauiTime talks about a 32-foot boat that was underwater at Molokini for just a week in 2006. An insight on Island Tacos and creamy delights....