08.45 Working at an Erotic Massage, May 5, 2005, Volume 8, Issue 45, MauiTime

HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK, CRUISE CONTROL, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH AND FABULOUS STRAW

■ MAY 5, 2005

■ VOLUME 8

■ ISSUE 45

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5 ‘CORRECT THE MAP’ Mala’s open space war

12 SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Lots of good grub

24 PURE VOLUME

The record store clerk strikes again

Not all buyers will qualify for all offers. Programs subject to change without notice. Actual configuration may vary. See dealer for complete details.

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VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 45

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COVER STORY 10

•The Sacred & The Profane What it’s like to work in erotic massage – by Ms. X

MAUI COUNTY 4

•New Column!

•Eh Brah!

5

•LC Watch •Cruise Control •‘Correct the Map’ Fighting for open space in Mala – by Jen Russo

6

•Coconut Wireless •Overheard...

7

•News of the Weird •Tides & Times •Ted Rall Cartoon

9

•Op Ed: Look for the Media labels

This week’s picks: The Wailers - P.21

Examining the propaganda of nomenclature – by Ted Rall

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com (Pancho Villa) Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com (Charo)

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Position (& favorite famous Mexican)

Calendar Goddess: Kimberly L. Welch kim@mauitime.com (Jose Cuervo)

•Chris’ Smokehouse BBQ Good grub, and plenty of it – by Reese Quick

Contributing Writers: Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Reese Quick, Ted Rall, Andrew Shkolnik, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ms. X

•Dining Listings Hours, locations and price ranges of Maui’s eateries

•Employee of the Week

Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther, Jessica Pearl Interns: Kellie Holliday (Pedro), Gabrielle Poccia (Gael Garcia Bernal)

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19 •This Week’s Picks 22 •Film: Crash Macrocosm Los Angeles ( ) – by Cole Smithey 23 •Movies & Times 24 •Pure Volume 25 •A&E: The Almost Forgotten

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com (Bumblebee Man) General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com (Frida Kahlo) Office Assistant: Becky Spector Web Design: MXS www.mxsinc.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com (Speedy Gonzales)

Hawaiian Story

Moses Goods III in The Legend of Kaulula’au – by Samantha Campos

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Bookshelf Reviews Where we really do judge books by their covers Heartbreak Hotel by Jill Marie Landis, 2005, Ballantine Books, New York. $23.95

$

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BY MICK E. FINN

It’s not easy for me to say this, but this “book” Heartbreak Hotel is the most ridiculous looking piece of rubbish I’ve ever seen in all the hours I’ve spent writing Bookshelf Reviews for this publication. A three-year-old using finger paint and butcher paper that some butcher has already used to wrap ham hocks could have come up with a better, more insightful cover.

I mean, come on! There’s nothing on either the front or back cover that tells you anything about the book! I’ve been staring at my review copy for the last three hours now (give or take two and 15/16ths hours) and I can’t figure out what the hell the book’s about. There’s some “praise” on the back from some critics (more about that later) but it’s for another book entirely.

Okay, I was able to learn a few things.

First off, that the author—Jill Marie Landis—is one of those women who goes around advertising that she has three names. Why do I not meet these women in real life? The other day a woman introduced herself to me as “Sarah.” It was just one name, but I wasn’t confused at all.

Secondly, Jill Marie Landis ain’t that creative—the title Heartbreak Hotel is obviously a rip-off of “Heartbreak Hotel,” that 1955 Elvis Presley song that I’m pretty sure everyone on this frickin’ planet has heard 37,000 times.

Oh, and Jill Marie Landis doesn’t think her audience is all that sharp, either, since she felt the need to put the words “A NOVEL” amidst the pastel photoshopped hotel sign, purple flowers and yellowish coastal shot on the book’s cover.

Which brings us to the pink and mint green back cover. Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m a MAN. I don’t by pink

and mint green anything, much less novels that have to have the word “NOVEL” on the cover.

That being said, the back cover could really save this book from the recycling heap, but fails miserably.

Apparently, the publisher couldn’t find even one mouth-breather to praise this book, opting instead to quote three writers on the back—two of which have three names, just like Jill Marie Landis!—on some other novel called Heat Wave. The kicker is that even their emoting is sub-par.

“Heat Wave caught me on a swell, gripped me from the very first page, and sent me hurtling into adventure,” gushed Linda Lael Miller, who’s listed as the author of The Last Chance Café.

“Jill Marie Landis can really touch the heart,” added Jayne Ann Krentz, who’s not listed as the author of anything because I guess everyone already knows that she just wrote a novel called No Going Back. MTW

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This goes out to the idiot who stole my 13-year-old boy’s red and white Dakine board-bag, which was holding his day-glo red, yellow and green “Valley Isle” surfboard made especially for him by Neil Norris. You very carefully pulled the bag and board out of a white Chevy pick-up truck parked over at the Kihei Skate Park. Don’t know if you noticed, but the board and bag doesn’t belong to you. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop the madness and turn yourself in.

MAUICOUNTY

BY JEN RUSSO

‘Correct the Map’

Booze Cruise

Fighting for open space in Mala April 29 marked the three-year anniversary of the fight to preserve open space at Mala. To celebrate, the local community held a peaceful demonstration on Front Street. A few days before everyone took to the street, activist Momi Keahi was making signs in her kitchen when I stopped by to ask her about the event.

“We need to let people know about this issue,” she said. “Since this fight began to save this open space a lot of people have moved out of the neighborhood. It makes it more difficult. Nobody knows what is going on.”

Eventually about 20 people showed up, many holding signs saying, “No White House on Open Space,” “Save This Open Spot—We Need It For Future Generations” and “Open Space, No Chains, No Fences, No House.”

Passersbys honked and yelled to show their support. More than a few pulled over and signed the petition going around to save the land.

Mala Resident Lynn Ho’s sign simply

Cruise Control Vessel: Legend of the Seas Cruiseline: Royal Caribbean International Complement: 2,543 Scheduled Maui Visit: May 9, 2005 Last Center for Disease Inspection: Apr. 10, 2005

Control

Score: 95 out of 100 For those at home keeping track, this is the Legend’s second appearance in Cruise Control, the last being Mar. 31, 2005. The good news is that the venerable ship showed a fivepoint improvement over the December, 2004 inspection that prompted our earlier column!

The bad news is they still have a problem cleaning those shot glasses. Making matters worse, inspectors also found large plastic bins in the Main Galley Cold Pantry that were “soiled with food residue.” But those pale when compared to the toxic cleansing tablets they found stored atop the coffee machine in the Schooner Bar Pantry. Oh, and the Old Bar Station needs to stop storing stuff in the electrical locker. Other than that, great job guys!

-Anthony Pignataro

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Sign of the times read, “Correct the Map.” Earlier in the week she sent an email to all County Council members letting them know that the community members would be out picketing for open space. None appeared at the Mala site during the protest.

The contested parcel is owned by Doug White. It runs along the oceanside of Front Street from the north side of Mala Restaurant to just beyond the culvert butting up against Cille MacDonald’s property. White wants to build a house on the property, but local residents have been fighting it, citing the “open space” designation the county originally gave the property—a designation officials don’t

‘THERE IS NO PLACE TO PARK, NO WAY FOR THE OLDER PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN COMING HERE FOR YEARS TO COME TO THE OCEAN.’ seem to be paying much attention to anymore.

“It is wrong that the county has not made any move to correct the map,” Cille MacDonald told me.

The problem goes clear back to the 1996 West Maui Community Plan. When the County Council—under then-Mayor Linda Lingle— adopted the Community Plan, part of the halfacre White property was listed as residential with the remainder designated as open space.

In fact, the entire property should have been labeled as open space. In a lawsuit White filed

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against the county in 2004, the court found that the land was indeed all open space, but the county has yet to fix the mapping error.

Councilwoman Jo Anne Johnson, who represents West Maui, responded via email stating that though she supported the acquisition of this property and keeping it open, the decision wasn’t hers to make.

On June 18, 2004, Patty Nishiyama of Na Kupuna O Maui sent a letter to then Council Chairman Dane Kane calling for the correction to the mapping error. He never responded. At the April 29 demonstration, she lamented the new fencing around the property.

“How are we supposed to access this area to fish and to enjoy the ocean in this area?” she asked. “There is no place to park, no way for the older people who have been coming here for years to come to the ocean. This is a problem.”

We could find no county official to comment on this issue. But talk at planning headquarters is that White’s going to get to build his house after all since county doesn’t have the $2 million to buy the property off him. Needless to say, that’s got Mala residents frustrated and disappointed.

For the time being, open space in Mala continues to hang in limbo as it sits in the county’s lap. In fact, it’s beginning to look like the map correction idea seems to have been shelved forever. MTW

Somehow, the Maui County Liquor Commission has managed to create Liquor Rules that are both draconian and lenient.

They prompt cries of a miscarriage of justice no matter where you stand. If you sympathize with an establishment that finds itself under the LC’s thumb, the Rules seem unnecessarily rough. But if you want the hammer to fall on a transgressing licensee, the Rules will leave you disappointed.

Serving minors is a perfect example. If a bartender or server hands a kid a drink for whatever reason—negligence, stupidity, bitterness—it’s the owner who faces the wrath of LC. And it’s a lot of wrath—to a point.

That’s because whether a place is serving one minor or 10, the punishment is the same: a strike. Sure, they’ll get fined $2,000 for each case, but it’s the strike that hurts.

Earn three and you’re out of business.

The most notorious example of that was last November’s Hyatt Regency Maui case. It began with a drunken, naked 18-year cheerleader accidentally falling to her death from one of the Ka’anapali hotel’s ninth floor balconies on Jan. 12, 2004 and ended with the LC racking up 24 separate instances of various hotel bars serving minors. The Hyatt ended up pleading no contest to all the charges. Even though the counts were 24 times worse than if an establishment had gotten caught serving a single minor, they still just added up to one.

We keep hearing that the Liquor Commission will be revising the Rules, but it won’t happen anytime soon. What will happen soon is that Maui-Molokai Sea Cruises, which operates the tour boat Prince Kuhio, will appear before the Adjudication Board on May 5 facing five counts, four of which deal with serving minors.

It all went down last September 23, between the hours of 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. As is often the case, the company is pleading no contest.

In fact, the case looks a lot like the Hyatt Regency Maui matter—minus the dead naked cheerleader, of course.

MTW

—Anthony Pignataro

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MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

WEDNESDAY, APR. 27 Despite environmentalist concerns that the proposed Superferry is being rammed through the state legislature without proper analysis, the plan to run giant car-carrying catamarans throughout the Hawaiian chain is amazingly popular, according to a recent poll published in today’s Pacific Business News. Now I know that it seems incredibly coincidental that the poll was commissioned by Superferry, Inc., which has more than a vested interest in its outcome and shows overwhelming support for the plan on every island, but I’m sure it’s all on the up and up. According to the poll, supposedly 86 percent of state residents want to see the giant ferries launched. The only island that has anything resembling opposition to the Superferry is our dear, sweet Maui, where just 50 percent of those polled “strongly support” it. Anyway, all these numbers have flushed the state legislature with super courage, and they went and restored all the $40 million in Kahului Harbor improvements cut by the state Senate a couple weeks ago.

THURSDAY, APR. 28 Goddamn, I love filling all 15 gallons of my car’s gas tank with hi-octane fuel that costs nearly $3 a gallon. Can’t get enough of it, I say! I mean, we’re not exactly going to get help from Washington on this. Sure, Dubya said the other day that we’re too dependent on oil imports—a reality that’s been true since, oh, 1973 or so—but his solution is to build more nuclear reactors.

And that will really help out our whole power situation—20 years from now, when old George W. is sitting on his porch

saying stuff like “Consarn it all” and “Yeehaw!” and a bunch of other stupid things that don’t make any sense—oh wait, he already does that.

Where was I? Oh yes, the ever-rising price of gasoline. Looks like Hawai’i—which boasts some of the highest per-gallon prices in the nation—might get some relief anyway. That’s because the state legislature has bungled its attempts to squelch the gas price cap law that will allow the state Public Utilities Commission to regulate the wholesale— sorry, not retail—price of gas. That means the cap should go into effect on Sept. 1, you know, barring any disaster or further Bush energy speech, that is.

For some reason—and at this point, I’m going with the theory that this is all just some sort of weird accident—I got an email today from some salesman named Scott who thinks I need to start driving a $118,500 armored Chevrolet Suburban. I mean, it’s your standard Suburban, though with a few extra features like run-flat tires (no charge), reinforced door hinges (no charge) and a “smoke screen system” ($1,250). Standard bulletproofing will protect against 7.62 NATO cartridges as well as 5.56, 30.06 and 12 gauge shotgun rounds.

Say, I’ll bet the addition of all that armor plating, run-flat tires and smoke screen generators really makes the Suburban’s fuel economy something special.

SATURDAY, APR. 30

Spent this, the 30th anniversary of the Fall of Saigon, trying not to relate that great foreign policy triumph known as the Vietnam War to anything that might be happening today. Well, that and watching Ping Pong—I’m sorry, Table Tennis—over at the Lahaina Civic

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Center. Don’t get me wrong—some of those guys can really swing that paddle well enough to make you forget for a few moments that you’re watching grown adults play a backyard game normally reserved for youths and drunk college kids.

SUNDAY, MAY 1 It’s May Day, also known as International Workers Day. It’s a day when the entire world celebrates the contributions and highlights the plight of people who labor for a living. Wait, did I say the entire world? Yeah, that’s wrong. The U.S.—which practically invented the whole May Day thing—doesn’t celebrate it. Communist infiltration, you know. That’s why we have our own Labor Day, which I think is in September. I think it was organized by the same crew that insists we all call Ping Pong Table Tennis.

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MONDAY, MAY 2 The Maui News ran a tiny Associated Press obit today on Gordon Shaw, who apparently died at his Laguna Beach, California home on April 26. Struck down by kidney cancer at the age of 72. For those who don’t recall the name, Shaw was the University of California, Irvine physics professor who made created an extremely lucrative business in 1993 after he published a study supposedly proving that students who listened to Mozart’s Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major scored higher on math tests than students who didn’t. Shaw and many others immediately began selling all sorts of tapes, CDs and books promising that classical music would make kids smarter, help college students and even “heal the body, strengthen the mind and unlock the creative spirit.” Anyway, the obit mentioned that Shaw “never cared for the media attention his work generated.” At least in part, I have to admit, he was referring to me. Back in October, 2000, I interviewed Shaw for OC Weekly about how recent scientific studies were showing that his whole theory was pretty much bunk. In fact, one Harvard study even showed that “spatial-temporal reasoning” increased in subjects exposed to Yanni or Stephen King novels. Naturally, Shaw dismissed the considerable research as “a couple of poor experiments done by people who didn’t look at the whole thing.” But later, he came around to admitting that “people have exploited” his work. Strangely, he didn’t include himself in that estimate.

TUESDAY, MAY 3 Wondering what Mike Kitagawa is going to do with so many government agencies opposing his plan to crush cars next to the Kanaha Pond in Kahului? The Apr. 27, 2005 issue of the Haleakala Times seeks to answer that question with a front-page story by Rob Lafferty quoting Kitagawa as saying he has “no plans” to crush cars near Kanaha. Sounds great, except that county planner Colleen Suyama told me today Kitagawa hasn’t withdrawn his application. He could still, but until he does, gotta assume he’s going ahead with it.

Anthony Pignataro is close to isolating the Colonel’s secret blend of 11 herbs and spices.

MTW

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SUPER ATHLETES!

PEOPLE WITH ISSUES

While Congress and the sports world are busy condemning the use of steroids as “cheating,” golfer Tiger Woods and other athletes have already artificially enhanced their natural abilities with impunity through Lasik eye surgery (improving vision to 20/15 or 20/10).

More ominously, according to a Wired magazine story in March, the time will soon come when perfectly healthy baseball pitchers and other athletes choose socalled “Tommy John surgery, which can make an elbow even stronger than it naturally was, allowing pitchers to achieve higher velocity than ever. Other predicted enhancements include the removal, reengineering and re-insertion of leg, arm and shoulder muscle cells to add strength.

Gasoline-sniffer Brian Taylor, 36, was sentenced to three months in jail in March for violating a UK “anti-social behaviour order” by loitering around the pumps at a gas station in Middlesbrough, England. According to evidence of multiple such incidents, Taylor often dangerously reeks of gasoline fumes and is sometimes aggressive in his pursuit of a fix, including jostling gas-pumping customers.

Once, he was filmed on a security camera doing an uninhibited dance after taking a huff.

He apparently prefers unleaded but will settle for diesel, and denies that he drinks any of it: “I’m daft but not that daft.”

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE The North Dakota legislature voted in April to ease licensing for carrying concealed weapons by removing the shooting test (to hit a miniature human silhouette at 21 feet), but that was over the objection of licensee Carey McWilliams, 31, who told an Associated Press reporter in March, “You’ve got to have standards.”

McWilliams, who hit the target 10 out of 10 in his most recent test, is legally blind, able to distinguish only shades of light.

GOOD CITIZEN John W. Hill of High View, W.Va., was arrested near St. Louis in March after sheriff’s deputies had stopped to investigate why he was parked alongside I-70. He was shirtless, wearing an Indian vest, cargo pants and combat boots, had several loaded pistols, an assault rifle, a two-shot Derringer, two long rifles, a serious knife, 400 rounds of ammo and various drugs. He said only that he was headed to South Dakota Indian country to deliver supplies and a sack full of Bibles to children, and that he was armed because the West is “dangerous.” He was charged with possessing a loaded weapon while intoxicated.

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EH BRAH!

TALK IS CHEAP

SEND YOUR EH BRAH TO ehbrah@mauitime.com

THE SHOE MUST GO ON LEAST COMPETENT PEOPLE A 24-year-old woman was hospitalized in April in Nassau County, N.Y., after her boyfriend, tossing sticks to his dog, decided to toss his knife, instead, but the knife’s handle loop caught on a finger when he flung it, and it snapped back, lodging in the woman’s neck. She corroborated the story and the man was not criminally charged.

An officer asked him, “When you threw the knife, what did you expect the dog to do?”

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A British farm couple recently handed officials of the East Lindsey District Council a surveillance video of an elderly couple that they said have been driving by from time to time and leaving pairs of new shoes (with price tags still affixed) on their property, with no explanation. The farmers, Jason and Claire Foster, said more than 30 pairs have been dropped off since December, and the council’s investigation was continuing, according to a March BBC News report. MTW

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Lahaina

BY TED RALL

SELF STORAGE

Look for the Media Labels

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Examining the propaganda of nomenclature ness to a xenophobic public; American religious leaders are the more familiar “ministers” rather than clerics. Instead of telling readers and viewers what to think with cheesy labels, why not let public figures’ quotes and actions speak for themselves? Besides, well-known players like al-Sadr and Falwell don’t require an introduction.

Loaded labels are commonly used to influence the public’s feelings about groups of people as well as individuals. Under Ronald Reagan the Afghan mujahedeen, who received CIA funding and weapons that they used to fight Soviet occupation forces, were called “freedom fighters.”

Iraqis who take up arms against U.S. occupation troops, on the other hand, are called “insurgents,” a word that implies rebellion for its own sake. This was the same term used by The New York Times and other mainstream media to refer to anti-U.S. fighters in Vietnam during the 1960s.

Only later, when the Vietnam War became unpopular, did American newspapers begin calling the former “insurgents” members of an infinitely more patriotic-sounding “resistance.”

Editors and producers who value balance ought to establish a consistent policy—either negative smears or positive accolades for both sides. Anti-occupation forces should always be

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MAY 5, 2005

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LETTERS

called insurgents, guerillas, etc., while prooccupation troops are dubbed collaborators.

Either that, or call them freedom fighters and government loyalists, respectively.

Perhaps the most absurd labeling sin is the media’s inconsistent treatment of nations that decide to change their names. When the Khmer Rouge, who went on to kill an estimated four and half million people, renamed their country Kampuchea in 1975, the international media had so little trouble adapting to the new name for Cambodia that they continued using it well into the 1980s, even after Pol Pot had fled into the jungle.

Notorious tyrant Mubutu Sese Seko easily convinced the press to start referring to the Congo as Zaire in 1971; his equally despotic successor got them to switch right back. When the SLORC military junta changed the former British colony of Burma to Myanmar in 1989, however, journalists followed the U.S. State Department’s refusal to accept the new name.

Even “liberal” outlets like NPR still call it Burma or “Myanmar, formerly Burma.” We need a consistent rule here, too. Either countries get to call themselves whatever they want or they should be stuck with their current names for eternity.

What hits home hits hardest. I’ve also been victimized by the idiotic practice of repeat labeling. “Controversial cartoonist Ted Rall” gets no fewer than 58 hits on Google. Care to guess the results for “patriotic cartoonist Ted Rall”? MTW

DKL

Important!

‘CONTROVERSIAL CARTOONIST TED RALL’ GETS NO FEWER THAN 58 HITS ON GOOGLE Repetition is key to successful advertising. The American media uses repeated arbitrary labeling in its supposedly impartial coverage in a deliberate campaign to alter public perception. Americans were meant to feel less sympathy for an kidnapped Italian woman shot by U.S. soldiers manning a checkpoint in Iraq after the talking heads repeatedly referred to her as a “communist journalist.”

A Fox News reporter in the same story would never have been dubbed a “neofascist journalist.” John McCain (R-AZ) might become president someday but “maverick senator John McCain” probably won’t.

Ralph Nader’s name rarely appears in print without the unappealing word “gadfly” or a form of “crusading.” Why not describe figures in the news using terms that aim for neutrality, like “Italian reporter” or “former Green Party candidate Ralph Nader”?

Labeling bias works to marginalize political outsiders while powerful elites receive their full honorifics. Howard Dean was antiwar firebrand Howard Dean but George W. Bush was never referred to as pro-war crusader George W. Bush. The press calls the founder of the Moral Majority “the Reverend Jerry Falwell,” not “radical cleric Jerry Falwell.”

Even the word “cleric” implies foreign-

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If you read newspapers, listen to the radio or watch television, you know that the media has assigned Muqtada al-Sadr a peculiar job title: radical cleric. “Gunmen fired on supporters of the radical Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr on Friday,” reports the Associated Press wire service. National Public Radio routinely refers to “radical cleric Moqtada al-Sadr.” “The protesters were largely supporters of radical Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr,” says CNN. Even Agence France-Press refers to him the same way: “Followers of a radical Shiite cleric marched in Baghdad.”

It’s a safe bet that neither al-Sadr nor his Iraqi supporters considers him particularly “radical.” And, if you stop to think about it, there’s nothing inherently extreme about wanting foreign troops to leave your country. Radical is a highly subjective word that gets thrown around without much reflection. What’s more radical, invading another nation without a good excuse or trying to stop someone from doing so? But that’s the problem: the media has become so accustomed to absorbing and regurgitating official government propaganda that they never stop to think.

WOW

OPED

9

I made the man lay The next person t of the shower, idm s hi y future m After getting ou in as w as w He love to n mattress. to fu e d th an on rty d di ssessive, jealnake as still boyfriend—a po the shower, he w d he tc clu gs sex was good 40s. Even after le ous man. But the his back, with his r. be “in-love,” ai greasy. He was on to e th s butt into and I wanted hi ng isi ra t, es ch have realized to his though I should h,” he said. tc bi e, t m no on t I’m pi e “S s. It was while e tim how foolish I wa ‘bitch’ one mor saw the ad “If you call me I ng him that first ei ” I said. se u, yo ge sa to as d m worker.” going to m, I refuse for “playful body up spitting on hi s butt. hi ned the ad to up Though I did end tio gs en in m th I ick n Whe est that I st qu re ys xt gu ne ” s en rebelling in hi ge ll be sa lfi fu must have id to “mas I pa m a as hi w I s, th g on go in g to fin d m seekin For 11 m real m e w ay. “I ’m me that I went fro t it was a so e to y lik nn el fu fe s e It’ . like that makes m s off. Bu ak ho w fre g an in ck om ja w to e ad. the love of my lif man,” he said. e number in the b. jo ck, then called th fore coming e y lu th be m m y ed hi ac rib ed lib sc ce ish de w of I d y year g e phone an in th rn tu ed r er be sw Maybe it was m s, em es an r m pl d to The owne t me there. I re The ladies worke ck to Maui that go ry general terms. section in the ba ed in a t ve at ul in in k ad lm or e cu w th at g in th ad massage ive paper dy at bo rn myself on by re te ll I pical fu ic. an g , in od te id el prov n Advoca sh and m r voice was girli of the New Have Weekly. d by He de .” un se rro ea su el a “r me cha lovely sp ar m se s fro le ng up ki m co similar to Maui Ti ea fro ith sp 0 ived $7 tured her place myself w id the ladies rece als were sa on e rs I would mentally Sh an pe s. e e w th ad vie m l nd I ge. tropica partner. Beyo r an hour massa usual ad ing for an extra $130 charged fo e I spotted an un e nc th O . rts co l w. es ra ie r an interv many ads fo looking for “O temple shatappointment for nal gentleman” hich I xurious goddess w lu e in th e of on by a “professio ns at th sio My illu elcomed me to d a fantasy from a large . The owner w ed al pt riv ce ar Relief.” I create two ac on e, up fic of d tere y,” a very basic d his plush of the back alle his desk and n nd io ace discretely entere hi rs pl be e ve Th m i’s hi e. au or ith “M down w ad, the North Sh e th on t in r en be tm m ar wad of cash, sat nu fu ap e dge of rnibedroom rious, I called th with a hodge-po wed me d lo te al ra ve co ha relieved him. Cu t de , no at ld little outdated. was ne the time wou ings that were a rous. ng ne ha ge l though my life at al busiite w qu d an be ture en in the adult as willing to d not want to said she had be di ss to do that. He w d bo an t w ac ne y ed cr M a sa for 20 years. have children I looked at sex as relationships ness on and off I wasn’t going to ne eo e m lif so y as have you ended ith nt w es fa id tim y viv ht share it a an d m pe ow lo “H asked. “You mig e time, I deve t nothing?” she . My fantasies go rn d with. At the sam po an et en rn m te ith in w then from for it.” . Daydreaming from those ads, which would as well get paid d and eccentric lve vo . in ss e ne pical massage, or ty m ive a ct fe ed ef e rib became th sc de to She ld answer the for sex added acy while e masseuse wou lib Th ce . st of about being paid sie e of ar ea ye y e m th be e customer to on aui. I broke rked. He was rie, then show th Life led me to M wo I the ge e lin to er in m wh hi or el rt do st she’d esco at the ho had id o pa als he He r e. te at Af er th on mushrooms s. desp ble on e the room handsome, and e to get comforta ’t know dn tim di m hi he w d lo older, not quite an al , , en er show ove her teddy or s I had ever se f by listening e floor, then rem el th ys m on tra, the smallest peni d at te m ilia n m to fu sage. For $50 ex it. I further hu motion” during ve him the mas e gi what to do with th d t’s an t/i be ea ro m e not th etely nude. woman around to him sing “It’s she’d get compl e man laying him hit on every ng hi tc wa d. te en ea th scenario was th cr t, e d as ha -c g st in breakfas be ak m e ve Th then flipping ce our lame lo g the massage, with the confiden down and enjoyin through for a about halfway onto his back

The Sacred

&

k r o w o t e k i l s ’ t i t a h W e g a s s a m c in eroti 10

MAY 5, 2004

COVER STORY

By Ms. X

“happy m The Oral se ity, she said out. M tame client booked ap nice w en who sta Often, ending , most x and s e b p n o f o o r o .” s m in r s ade In a tme m wo in course and he getting uld turn rept ted out clients tercourse we en would wan ctualaring d appointmen men who w nts with il ian s e ask x dur re t more ts e e by wha ters w with lo ing se after . t they scriptions of by calling th re starting ith rud ed. There wo prohibited, o s e r ssio h wo but e the wo eard e, uld nice g Ages w trouble men a same day uy was men. One r ns d men. unattractive also be enc of ere us . n b ea d o b my firs oun, ually e ss adve choosin Ih I had e t sessio lown away a lly xagger rtised g xperien ad once bee unrelenting L a c fter a r w a g la n te na ce with o nd e brea also be im in g with h sts, sle men in their d. For insta lieved many k nurse’s aid, im, pr t h b a ig t t o n s m n in ou s in c t elling ing pe der bo o ch wa h e id ds of p uncond op s awe e p o w e r dies an -30s as “lat , my e h I didn’t points. e s o e r d o do sen le with kindn itional love a ople. I f e 2 me. B ceiv youthf agree nd trea sual m ess. I b ut the ulness 0s.” women er lady ed oral sex w a t it s n e s h w li a eved I ge. ere My fir . f ro m a men w are beautifu the approa could noth“Ain’t in a la st day was s ch, fee l. I be ho call y o low. I p cy bra g e u li t a d n ie n gett g g a and as s?” Bu s o k t n h , trying e n aced n Thankf at all d durin a suc ing an t k u e noyed One gu worse was to ed, “Who ha I was p g our next s k it?” he with m lly the first m to keep it t rvously w s it y c h t in o c ession h a assage m ogethe y co-w e n m ed his nip e bigges sions, or r.

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I wok enou it. I becam I have read a sually told pe lf a prostitu .

Since I went to the b e up one da gh to cover e sacre te, I ople w b o u y and t t e q a p u d pros ch in hat I d riestes it I’ Often the isla hought tit se id it nd. On ve seen som stead. , us are was required utes to keep s in the past for e e m o o m f n y ey to c prieste them o men o before who old clie s o f p s f m n e e n e t a n r t s a inue se Men in ed to p s aroun nother rriage. in this to love life, t sessio I gue . ruined beside round of celi ssions, but I ay quite a bit d the wh ns would be hough a little ss some of s d b money o e a ole exp g lo tantaliz cy is in orde clined. Perha f erience for sex, whic st. r until ps es me. . h I tho someth MTW ught ing

The Profane 11

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY REESE QUICK

Chris’ Smokehouse BBQ Good grub, and plenty of it

What was the name of that cute white stucco restaurant on Waine’e? Oh yeah!

The Smokehouse BBQ. Perfect! I called a few friends to meet me, and soon we were all on our way.

Upon greeting them in the parking lot, I found that we were all still looking pretty mellow and hungry in the wake of April 20. We walked up the white stairs into a casual, small dining room with a full bar at the end. The woman behind the counter told us to sit anywhere we pleased.

We chose a table next to the outside ledge, and enjoyed the breeze and quiet view of the palm trees. It was so comfortable that I knew right away I had found my new secret restaurant. Our waitress

came out quickly with water and menus. She was relaxed and warm as if we had just sat down in her own kitchen.

Suddenly remembering that people generally take money with them when they dine out, I checked my wallet. Damn! I only brought $10 and was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to resign myself to a side salad and water. But I was quite relieved upon opening the menu to discover that nearly every meal was under nine dollars.

Of course, it was nothing extravagant—no filet mignon, mind you—but hell, I was covered with sand and salt water. I was happy to be anywhere low-key. The menu offered a variety of salads, sandwiches, local plates and barbecue specials.

I’ve always heard they’ve got great ribs, but I’ve never been much of a ribs fan, so I opted for the fish and chips. I love to order that at new restaurants because there are so many ways you can go wrong or right. It’s the litmus test—not to mention a steal at $8. My friend Kimmy got a basket of fries, Elaina got the BBQ bacon cheeseburger and Jamee tried the Kalua Pig Sandwich.

Our food came out quickly after we ordered it. Everything came with enormous steak fries, which reminded those of us from the West Coast of Red Robin. We sat, laughed, ate and made plans to come back soon and get a drink after work while our pleasant, breezy waitress tirelessly refilled our drinks. The food was great and by the end all that was left were some napkins, fries and a few undesirable bits from Jamie’s Kalua Pig sandwich.

As we left the chef poked his head out of the kitchen and thanked us, bidding us all a good day. And it was. We were full and happy and off in different directions. I was going to walk

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Living in Lahaina has so many charms, but the one that keeps me here is its familiarity. I love walking down the street and seeing people I know or going out to lunch and knowing my server, bartender and host.

Still, every once in a great while, I long for a little anonymity. I want to go someplace where no one knows my name. I was out and about last Thursday after a long day at the beach when that feeling struck me. I needed to change the scene of my routine. I needed to find a place to go for grub off the well-trodden path of Front Street.

Chris’ Smokehouse BBQ 930 Waine’e St., Lahaina, 667-7005.

Open Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., 3 p.m.-9 p.m. $

home and take a great big nap. As I started walking the thoughts pooled in my mind again: work, that new album I wanted to get, my upcoming vacation… But then I thought

Rib-licking good

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MAY 5, 2005

DINING

about the great day I had. I was relieved to know I’d found a quiet place to go anytime I needed to set aside the minutia for a little while. MTW

34 LONO AVE. KAHULUI

877- 4400

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $

CENTRAL MAUI Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877–9001. $

Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. Omelettes, burgers, salads. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $

Alive And Well - Healthy food, Juices, smoothies, wraps salads or plate lunches.

Organic pastries, vegetables. Open Daily 8 a.m.

- 6 p.m. 340 Hana Hwy Kahului, 244-5950. $

Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant - Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $

Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. 270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893–0263. $

Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 877-1414. $$

Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8772400. $

Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877–7461. $$

Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Kahului, 893-0026. $

Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients.

1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $

Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $

Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$

Cafe Brooklyn - Delicious healthy alternative.

Eat in or take out business lunches plate lunches and snacks. Finest organic whole foods use.

Open M-Fr 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Cornor of Market and Main. Wailuku. 877-4950

Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977. $$ Island Saimin Noodle Cafe - Island Grind, Chow Fun House specialty. Open Breakfast, Lunch 6 a.m. - 3 p.m. 34 Lono Ave, Kahului. 877-4400

Café Marc Aurel - Offers an elegantly casual menu, including gourmet cheeses, dolmas, tzatziki and an extensive wine-by-the-glass list.

28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852. $$

International House of Pancakes - (IHOP) - Open for breakfast, specialty pancakes, sandwiches, along with lunch and dinner entrees. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $

Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave, Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $

grilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and island spices. 275 Kaahumanu Ave, Queen Kaahumanu Mall, Kahului, 871-7726. $

Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Kaahumanu Center, 8775588.

Mercado - Latino Mexican Market, with produce from Mexico, So. America, Tonga & New Zealand.

Homemade tamales. Open Mon-Fri, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

325 Hukilike St., Kahului, 871-5067. $

Kozo Sushi - Fast food take out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. Sushi platters available. 52 N. Market Place, Kahului, 243-5696. $

Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Also offer catering. 1900 E. Main St., Wailuku, 2447888. $

Krispy Kreme - This place is known all over the world for its warm, tasty glazed doughnuts. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Mama Ding’s Pasteles - This family owned resturant consist of a variety of breads, coconut papaya bread, apple cinnnamon, Puerto Rican sweet bread.

Serving breakfast. Open 7 a.m. - 2 p.m.255 Alamaha, Kahului. 877-5796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella. Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877-4446. $$ Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to take five. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS. $ Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawai’i home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with char-

SEE WHAT ELSE IS COOKIN!

Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the kitchen sink burritos to quesadillas. Casual dining and various piñatas available. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877–8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Old time American dining morning to night.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - A new location and with over 20 years of experience in the food industry. Catering and party trays available. Open Mon-Fri, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sat, 5-9 p.m. 1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku, 249-2420. $$ Sandalwood Golf Course Restaurant - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului, 877-0121. $

Same great food and same friendly staff but now FERNANDO’S has a new name…

444 Hana Hwy. Kahului Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

877–CUPS

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TACOS $1 99

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6

WE DELIVER 5-8:30 pm TAKE OUT AVAILABLE

$3.00 TROPICALS / WELLS $3.25 BUD-BUD LIGHT-COORS LIGHT $1.00 FRESH OYSTER SHOOTERS DOLLAR DOUBLE ALL DAY

41 E. Lipoa • Next to Gold’s Gym

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

879-9952 • KIHEI

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

13

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

Simply Sweets Bakery - Delicious sweet and savory pastries, rolls, cakes, Mauisadas and deli sandwiches. Open Mon-Thu, 7 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Fri, 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m; Sat, 7 a.m.-4 p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 893-0700. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Fast food Chinese with daily specials. All entrees are served with rice or noodles. 70 E Kaaumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, panfried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market Street, Wailuku, 2444100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi!

Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Sub Paradise - Maui’s famous subs since 1990. An extensive list of breakfast bagels, sub sandwiches and salads. Open Mon-Fri, 7 p.m.; Sat, 7 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun, 7 a.m.-4 p.m. 395 E. Dairy Rd, Kahului, 877-8779.

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade corned beef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. 359 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke. Open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 249-0052. $

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $

Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224. $$$

SOUTH MAUI

Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S Kihei, 879-4799. $

Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable take-out seafood, chicken, ribs—all deep fried tempura style or grilled. 1913 S Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service. Trust me—try the Tiramisu. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$

Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $

Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner with burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods and deli sandwiches. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas and Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free on Monday and Saturday. Fuhgeddaboudit! 1945 S Kihei Rd., 8750188. $$

Island Fish Tacos Grilled Steak, Chicken Vegetarian MAUI Lahaina Square, Lahaina • 661-8883 Kamaole Beach Center, Kihei • 879-5005 Napili Plaza, Napili • 665-0222 Kaahumanu Center, Kahului • 871-7726 BIG ISLAND Prince Kuhio Plaza, Hilo • 959-0359 OAHU Mililani Shopping Center, Mililani • 623-9405 Kailua Village Shops, Kailua • 261-4155

Bamboo Chi - Euro, Asian and Mediterranean atmosphere—perfect for relaxing with friends. Pupus, tapas and antipasto. Live music Fri-Sat in the WabiSabi Lounge. Dinner attire suggested. Open 5 p.m.

100 Wailea Ike Dr, Wailea, 879-4777. $$ Beach ’n Bagels Cafe - Fresh Bagels with traditional toppings of flavored cream cheeses, smoked salmon. sandwiches, salads, and smoothees, Island Coffees Latte & Mocha 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, Kihei, 875-7668. $ Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open daily. 1215 S Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 8751234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$

14

MAY 5, 2005

DINING

Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner with omelets, burgers, salads. Open 24 hours.

2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. $ Dina’s Sandwitch - Deli sandwiches, Salads & Hot Dogs, homade Potato Salad, Pasta Salad, healthy garden fresh salads & Saimin. Open 11a.m.- 10 p.m. 145 N Kihei Rd, 879-3262. $ Enrique’s Restaurant - Authentic Mexican food.

Fajitas, seafood, enchiladas, tamales, burritos and vegetarian items. Open Mon-Sat, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sun, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., 875-2910. $ Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients.

300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 244-5862. $ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Breakfast, lunch, pupus and dinner. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607. $$ Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi. Open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$ Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods - Salad Bar goes beyond all others. Healthy natural foods. Open 7 days 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Road 875-4356. $ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizer and “food for gringos,” too. Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $

Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi.

Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$

Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical setting and spectacular ocean views. Featuring fresh Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-7831. $$$

Buzz’s Warf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns. Reservations recommended.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$

Happy Hour Daily From 2-5 PM

$2.50 Well Drinks $3.50 Margaritas $1.50 Bud Lights Watch Your Favorite Sports On Our New Bar T.V.s

Fridays

2. Mai Tais 16. Prime Rib Nite $

www.mauitacoscookbook.com Email: eatmaui@maui.net www.mauitacos.com

Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$

Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. Also a Hawaiian menu, kava kava, sushi and oxygen bars. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong-style seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $

Burritos! Nachos! Salsa Bar!

Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874--1111.$$

50

Wednesdays

$

95

Variety Is Our Specialty 2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 S Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free.

Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is a la carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S Kihei Rd., 875–1007. $$ Keoki’s Fish N’ Chips - Ono Fish & Chips.

Open for breakfast, 7 a.m. Kukui Mall, next to Starbucks, 891-1400. $ Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Award-winning cuisine, early bird and late night special. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879–0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic.

Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875–7555. $$$ Seawatch - Hawaii regional cuisine utilizing the freshest island fish and produce. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m to 3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, pork or seafood, and veggies. Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8366. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. Oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$

Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi and lunch specials. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010. $

Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$

Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak and lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere.

Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677. $$$

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and pizza. Awesome outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m., serving food 'till midnight! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. $

Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891–8883. $$$ LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a huge bar and open-air deck.

1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $ Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243–2206. $$ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S Kihei Rd., 874–4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, a full service coffee kiosk, fruit smoothies and shakes. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with char-grilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. 2411 S. Kihei Road, Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $

Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including half-pound burgers and deli sandwiches, with 24 TVs and a full bar. Open 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0602. $ Sunset Mixed Grill - Local, Japanese and Chinese cusine, along with some Korean dishes. Entrees come with two side dishes. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991. $ Tastings Wine Bar & Grill - Savory and sweet nibbles, such as house smoked duck breast on wilted spinach with toasted hazelnuts, grilled whole Moi with jasmine rice and ginger braised bok choy, along with an excellent wine list. Open Tue-Sun, 5 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-8711. $$ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Tony Roma’s - Famous for ribs, barbequed chicken and onion ring loaf, along with daily special. 1819 S. Kihei Road, 875-1104. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$

Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572–0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940s-style urban bistro serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily.

Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere with food from Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-winning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572–2666. $ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $

My first cooking job was at Tasty Crust in Wailuku when I was 13. I have been working in the kitchen ever since. I have been at Stella Blues for over a year and a half and through a lot of hard work, overtime and a few good jokes I was promoted from line cook to sous chef within a couple of months.

I really appreciate that every minute in my job I must rise to a new challenge. There is no time to become complacent and I must always be on my toes. It’s the challenge of the job and the people I work around that make my job so great. At the end of the day I go home and I have worked hard but I know that it is appreciated.

I was born and raised in Maui but took a trip off island a while ago to try out mainland life. I saved up a nest egg and tried both Seattle and San Francisco to find a comfortable job. It was a great learning experience but the city life is way more competitive than I’m used to. I was too laid-back and coming back to Maui was really nice.

I really believe in the healing powers of the ocean and try to get in a least once a day. I am also a musician and I play the guitar, bass, piano and drums. If I could do it all at once I would form my own oneman band. The band I play with now is called Anesthesia.

Not all the members are always around so we don’t often get a chance to perform.

We do as much as we can though and have already recorded an album and an EP independently.

I was bummed that I didn’t make Pope but being picked Employee of the Week has really lightened my spirits. MTW

Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right!

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu and teriyaki all available.

3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8340. $

Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 5732998. $

OutBack Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-the-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. Open 4-10 p.m.

281 Pi’ikea Ave, Kihei 879-8400. $$

Aha’Aina - Ocean front dinning Featuring a delicious chili pork burrito and a large variety of omelets. Island fish, chicken Katsu. Open for breakfast and lunch only: Tue-Sat, 7a.m.-2 p.m.; Sun, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$

Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily special. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755. $

Pita Paradise - Good food served fast.

Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679. $

Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $

Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 8911120. $$$ Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish, daily special. Open for breakfast and lunch: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

3620 Baldwin Ave, Makawao, 572-4877. $ Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences.BYOB. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

Tim Prest

Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked artichoke. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-5653. $$$

Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448. $$$

Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner (nightly). 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $

AS TOLD TO GABRIELLE POCCIA

Sous chef, Stella Blues in Kihei

Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$

Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879–7224. $$$

WEEK

Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia, 579–8844. $$

Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific cuisine with a blend of Louisiana Cajun and tropical flare.

Open 5-10 pm. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 874-8385. $$ K

Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer.

Breakfast served till 3 p.m 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874–1131. $

EMPLOYEE OF THE

Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–9999. $ Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 2A Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–8030. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku, 575-9242. $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

15

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742. $

Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $

Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and pastries around, along with delicious salads, quiches and gyros with a variety of teas. Open 7 a.m.-8 p.m.

810 Kokomo Road, Haiku Marketplace, 5759588. $

Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111. $$

Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

WEST MAUI A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines. Bakery with cakes and cookies.

Lahaina Center, 667–0623. $ Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, deep fried tempura style or grilled.

Great food great prices. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more.

Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Freshly baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily special. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ K Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. Come in for the ambience, stay for the delightful dining experience.

2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali, 662-3210. $$ BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. Overlooking Lahaina Town with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $

I s l a n d Ta c o Fresh Fish Chicken or Pork Tacos

Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600. $$ K Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - Classic baskets of fish and chips. Open daily. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. Mexican food beyond the border. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods like Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more. Open daily. 2580 Kekaa Dr., Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Comercial Mexicana Store - Authentic Mexican food, Tamales, enchilads, tacos, soups, rice and beans Open everyday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina, 661-6193. $ Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar.

Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - 1950s-style diner with lanai.

Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and

PAI A Fi s h M ar k et Restaurant

Tides & times 5

Sun R 5:58A Thur Sun S 6:58P

H 1:39A +1.4 L 8:02A -0.3

H 2:50P +1.8 L 9:05P +0.3

6 Sun R 5:57A Fri Sun S 6:59P

H 2:17A +1.2 L 8:26A -0.3

H 3:26P +2.0 L 10:01P +0.2

7 Sun R 5:57A Sat Sun S 6:59P

H 2:54A +1.0 L 8:49A -0.3

H 4:01P +2.2 L 10:54P +0.2

Sun R 5:56A Sun Sun S 7:00P

H 3:30A +0.8 L 9:13A -0.3

H 4:36P +2.2 L 11:47P +0.2

9 Sun R 5:56A Mon Sun S 7:00P

H 4:07A +0.6 L 9:38A -0.3

H 5:12P +2.2

10 Sun R 5:55A Tue Sun S 7:00P

L 12:40A +0.2 L 10:05A -0.2 H 4:46A +0.6 H 5:51P +2.1

11 Sun R 5:55A Wed Sun S 7:01P

L 1:39A +0.2 H 5:30A +0.4

8

NEW SUMMER HOURS Mon.-Sat. 11am-2pm & 9pm-3am Sun. Sunset-2am

L 10:34A -0.1 H 6:34P +2.0

100 HANA HIGHWAY, PAIA

LOCATED AT PARADICE BLUZ ON FRONT STREET MAY 5, 2005

Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491. $$

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908. $ K Curry-In-A-Hurry - Curry dishes that are delightful and delicious in alternative vegetarian eating. Open Tue-Sat, 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-4370. $ David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesian sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific islands. 505 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere and beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds.

174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old-Hawaiian styled coffeehouse with pastries, smoothies, salads and sandwiches, quiche. Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily.

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lovers’ delight. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St.,

HOLOHOLO

GIRL

Tide-times set for Honolulu - subtract as follows: Kahului: 1hr 41min Hana: 1hr 23 min Makena: 0hr 32min Kihei/Ma`alaea: 0hr 22 min Lahaina: 0hr 40 min

Catering Available

16

$$→$20-$40

DINING

579-8030

Lahaina, 661–8422. $$$ Island Taco - The best soft shell tacos ever! Beef, fish, pork or chicken, served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese, onions and jalapenos. Open very late night, next to Paradice Bluz. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, lounge ambience.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table. 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Ka’anapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs And they deliver.

Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi.

Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path surf bistro.

Good food, good quality, late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s signature Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. Dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Mon-Sun 612 Front St. Lahaina 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288. $$$ MaLa - Oceanfront dining and organic whole grains cusine. From clams and lobster soup to chicken tikka, beet and goat cheese salads. Full bar. 1307 Front St., Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 2290 Ka’anapali Parkway, 667-1929. $$ K Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. Lahaina Square, 661-8883; Napili Square, 665-0222. $ Mercado - Latino Mexican market, with produce from Mexico, So. America, Tonga & New Zealand.

Homemade tamales. Open Mon-Fri, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

3636 L. Honoapiilani Hwy, Honokowai, 665-5900. $ Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials, merry atmosphere and a large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. $ Mr. Sub Sandwiches - Specialty sandwiches made to order, with salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662–0890. $ Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizer, sandwiches and more.

Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667-1200 ext. 51. $$

WE’VE GOT ISSUES

Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper mahi mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Casual poolside dining.

Now featuring reasonably priced tapas-Hawaiian style menu for dinner. 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. Open 4-10 p.m. nightly. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 665-1822. $$

DININGLISTINGS Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$

Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and takeout. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$

Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633. $

Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $

Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. Open 7 days a week.

658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $

Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali, 667–4727. $$$

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pad Thai - Delicious Påd Thai, among many other items. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina, $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, toss-to-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929. $ Plantation House Restaurant - HawaiianMediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 6696299. $ Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Kahana, 6677477. $$$ Roy’s Bar & Grill - This fine dining restaurant has mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30-10 p.m. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports.

Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 661–3123. $$

Take Sushi - Open late night for late night sushi lovers. Full menu and daily special. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffet-style rotating menu ranging from “Breakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.” Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814. $ Tropica - Oceanfront dining on Ka’anapali Beach, features sizzling steaks, fresh fish, prepared in variety of styles. Specialty entrees, appetizers and deserts.

Open 5:30-9:30 p.m. Westin Kaanapali, 667–2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and an extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open daily, delivery 11 a.m.-10 p.m.

840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, Lahaina, 661-6773. $

Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 510 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar - D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawaii’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669–6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669–1500. $$ Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken, sandwiches and hamburgers along with a full bar. Open 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 927 Wainee St., Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy.

Tables are private and the antipasto serves two.

Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 4-30-05

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★ CO DE MAYO

★ ★

!

CIN PARTY IN TOWN Y 5TH Y, MA NESDA

WED

★

WANTED:

★

RGEST THE LA

★

★

LIVE MUSIC! ★

★

★

MAY 5, 2005

$3.50 DON JULIO - SILVER & ANEJO $3.50 TRES GENERACIONES - SILVER & ANEJO

DA KINE CALENDAR

could give you the experience or college credits that you need. Previous experience is

Please send a resume to 658 Front St. # 7278,

CO AY ALL D

LAHAINA CANERY MALL FRONT STREET 661-7189

18

editorial, graphic design, accounting, or sales

a great crew.

CUERVO & BUD GIRLS! IN THE FLESH $3.00 $A3R.G5A0 A T I R $3.50 SAUZA - CONMEMORATIVO & HORNITOS RONAS

SPECIALS

opportunity for you! Potential positions in

to work in a dynamic newspaper office with

KAPAKAHRTIS AT&4PEML DOGG

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lege student, or recent grad this may be the

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N OF TEQUILA

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Lahaina, HI 96761 or call 808-661-3786 x3# and speak to Jennifer.

Jonny Lang Friday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] When he first dazzled the scene of contemporary blues-rock at a mere 13 years old, music critics threw away any preconceived notion of skepticism upon Lang’s first note. U.S. News World Report wrote, “Don’t be fooled by that peach-smooth face. Jonny Lang has the voice of a grizzled blues veteran with a 20-year Marlboro habit - and guitar skills to match.” And Lang’s precociousness prompted blues guitar great Jimmy Thackery to say, “He plays so good, I want to break his fingers.” Aww, that’s so sweet! Within six years, Lang chalked up two platinum selling albums and a Grammy nomination. And now, at age 24, Lang shows no signs of regressing. “Now it feels like something is happening when I play music,” he said. “It’s not just to satisfy myself, it’s about giving with my music. And that makes all the difference.”

This Hawaiian Islands Rhythm & Blues Mele 2005 tour features Lang with his new band that includes a full procession of drums/percussion, bass, electric violin, mandolin, and piano, with Lang playing electric, slide and acoustic guitar. Tickets: $35, $40, $45. Call the box office at 242-7469.

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 661-0446 LETTERS

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19

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

Local Stuff for Mom Friday, 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Maui Community College, Kahului [FARMERS MARKET] It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday and you know you better show up with somethin’ real nice for Queen Bee. Even if she doesn’t live here, she’ll surely appreciate whatever you hand-pick for her that was made on Maui—a little reminder that her good parenting led you to isolated paradise 1000s of miles away! MCC’s Aloha Friday Farmers Market features food products and crafts—all 100% guaranteed grown on Maui—with live music by the lovely chanteuse Victoria Barrett. So bring ole Moms down for yummy breakfast buffet or lunch (Maui Culinary Academy rocks!), free lavender tea samples and lots of flowers.

For more info, call 286-3276.

THURSDAY

Honk!

Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 5 p.m. at the Iao Theater [STAGE] I love Hans Christian Andersen. He’s the Danish dude who wrote the fable The Ugly Duckling—a tale of self-discovery, honoring differences and triumphing over adversity.

And it all revolves around a duck!

Brilliant! So this Maui Academy of Performing Arts production of HONK!—

by George Stiles and Anthony Drewe— is a musical adaptation of this famous fable, involving said duckling who leaves home feeling unworthy but on his journey meets a hungry cat and a confindent bullfrog (could there be any other?) who launches into song and dance amidst oversized eggs and a magical farmyard, eventually discovering that true beauty lies within. Sniff. I’m chokin’ up over here! Tickets: $19, $13 youth. Mother’s Day Special: $10! Call 244-8760 for more info.

Slugfest Saturday, 10 a.m. to noon, Hawai’i Nature Center [FAMILY] Slugs are cool. They’re slimy, they’re squishy and they’re... well, slimy. And the Hawai’i Nature Center (875 Iao Valley Road) is conducting a slug race to appreciate their magnificent sliminess! Although at a whopping 0.006 mph, they might not actually feed your need for speed. But hey, did you know that slugs are hermaphrodites? Yeah! That means they can mate with themselves! Ew!! Anyway, the good folk of HNC will spend the morning looking for slug trails and telling you many more fascinating facts about our squishy little friends. For ages 5 and up, with an accompanying adult. Reservations recommended. Non-member fee is $14 for a parent/child pair. For info, call 244-6500 ext. 10.

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

Front Street’s

One Of A Kind

Shopping Nook!

COME VISIT US Jewelry • Tattoos • Activities Snorkel Gear • Fashion Art • Time Shares

• Chadwick Hawaii Jewelers • Watch-n-See • Lahaina Ticket Co. • Manta Ray Snorkel Dive Tropical Toes • Air Brush Tattoo Timeshare Re-Sale • Temporary Tattoos Maui Dukes Shave Ice & Ice Cream

815-819 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 20

MAY 5, 2005

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Home from Iraq

More Stuff for Mom

Saturday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at War Memorial Park in Wailuku

Saturday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Seabury Hall

[PARADE/FESTIVAL] The best place for a soldier in wartime is home safe with his or her family. In this regard, Maui families are fortunate, since their reservists have recently returned from a year’s tour of duty in the Iraq war. They’re really going big for this welcome home party: Governor Linda Lingle, Mayor Alan Arakawa and Congressman Ed Case are all slated to attend. The Royal Hawaiian Band is supposed to come over from Oahu, and possibly even bring Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann with them. Entertainment will come courtesy of Raiatea Helm, Te Maui Merhahi, Richard Ho’opi’i, Brandy Souza and members of S.O.S.Las Vegas. The parade will begin at 10 a.m. over by the YMCA and head down Kanaloa Ave. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

DAY

[CRAFT FAIR] Spring is the best time to hang out upcountry.

Especially ‘cause now it’s time for Seabury Hall’s 32nd annual Craft Fair. They’re featuring a virtual cornucopia of entertainment, food, fresh produce, plants and flowers, with over 90 crafter/artists booths, as well as live and silent auctions (www.seaburyhall.org to see auction items). There’s a rummage sale, a classic car show, a golf shoot out and the ICS Sanctioned Chili Cook-off. All the stuff moms love! Of course, there’ll also be treats, horseback rides, waterslide, games, famous artist face painting and a clown. I guess that’s for the kids but whatever. $3 admission, under 12 free.

For more info, call 573-0068 or visit www.seaburyhall.org.

The Wailers Saturday, 5 p.m. at the A&B Amphitheater, MACC [MUSIC] I don’t know what I could tell you about The Wailers that you don’t already know. I mean, they’re only one of the most important musical acts of all time, as well as the most legendary reggae band in the history of roots, rock, reggae and everything thereafter. And if that wasn’t enough, the show starts with (and trust us, the show WILL start immediately—no laggers here!) Maui favorites Gomega, Ekolu and Marty Dread. Tickets: $25 in advance, $30 day of show. For info, call 242-7469.

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

IN

THE

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OF

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT !

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MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER

TH

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ursdays Progressive Th

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MUSIC

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FRI., MAY 6

D N A B O N A C E TH ute to Carlos Santana Trib

$5 COVER

S @ 9PM MUSIC START VE $10 CO R

SAT., MAY 7

PARTY E C N A D L A B O GL rnando Botro ARGENTINA

DJ Fe DJ Meilo MAUI KS DJ Bartek CHICAGO EA M ‘N BASS • BR

• DRU HOUSE BEATS ARTS @ 9:45PM MUSIC ST $5 COVER

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com LETTERS

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Kinky de’ mayo Leave your inhibitions at home!!

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Macrocosm Los Angeles Nothing’s melted in Paul Haggis’ pot

*Booty shakin’ contest* *PriZes* *Giveaways* ~ DRINK SPECIALS ~ 3pm-6pm $1 Bud/Bud Light, $2 Margaritas 9pm-Close $3 Coronas, $3.25 Margaritas

SPECIAL GUESTS EKOLU, MARTY DREAD AND GOMEGA

SATURDAY, MAY 7 A&B Amphitheater Show starts at 5pm (gates open 4pm) Tickets: $25 advance, $30 day of show Call 242-SHOW (7469) ONLINE: WWW.MAUIARTS.ORG

22

MAY 5, 2005

FILM

Screenwriter Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby) makes an impressive directorial debut with a telescoping deliberation on American race prejudices as viewed through a lens of day-to-day life in the melting pot of Los Angeles. Haggis rivals Robert Altman’s nimble ability to balance numerous characters across a broad narrative canvas.

Multiple story threads intertwine around a racist cop (Matt Dillon) and his honest partner (Ryan Phillippe), a duo of black car thieves (Larenz Tate and Chris Ludacris Bridges), a Los Angeles District Attorney (Brendan Fraser), his thin-skinned wife Jean (Sandra Bullock) and a sexist police detective (Don Cheadle).

Promising hotshot actor-ofthe-moment Terrence Howard is outstanding as Cameron Thayer, a successful television director whose dignity is challenged by his high-maintenance wife (Thandie Newton) and the fascist demands of his social milieu. Crash is a provocative drama that aligns with the socially conscious American theatrical dramaturgy of the 1930s and ‘40s.

One of the most intriguing aspects of Crash is how concealed aspects of characters’ personalities are revealed behind their public facades. As with most people you meet in everyday life, the characters in Crash are not what they verbally announce themselves to be. Ryan (Dillon) is a hardened veteran of the Los Angeles Police Department and wears his offensive bigotry on his sleeve. He’s just one rung below Harvey Keitel’s abysmal character in Abel Ferrara’s Bad Lieutenant, with a

Crash

★★★★★ Rated R/100 mins.

proneness to abusing his authority at will.

Ryan and his partner Hanson (Phillippe) pull over an SUV driven by a black husband (Howard) whose wife (Newton) happens to be giving him a blowjob. Ryan takes advantage of the situation to sexually humiliate the wife while her husband is forced to tacitly endorse the atrocity as it’s being committed.

The emotionally wrenching scene is characteristic of the high stakes fragments of all-or-nothing drama that play out in unpredictable ways across every subplot of the movie. For all of Ryan’s selfloathing and ignorant disposition, he

nonetheless has an overwhelming involuntary urge to help the very people he consciously categorizes as lesser people. Ryan’s atonement for his heinous behavior is among one of the film’s several climaxes and reveals a hidden layer of humanity that purges the venom we’ve become accustomed to.

Haggis skillfully puts just enough additional narrative weight on Ryan’s shoulders that the deeply flawed character serves as the legible protagonist in a movie filled with would-be leading characters.

It’s not what you think As the film’s screenwriter, Haggis pays special attention to social context with a realistic ear for dialogue that fluently dips between divergent cultural influences. The Iranian owner of a small retail business possesses such inferior communication skills that his fate seems doomed until his own inferiority serves to redeem him in his assassination attempt against a Latino locksmith that goes awry. A Chinese smuggler of illegal immigrants is struck by an accident that brings instant karma upon him. In each of these subplots the audience is pulled close inside the mind of the characters and positioned within social parameters that delineate the societal confines that each person attempts to function within.

Conclusions that audiences will jump to are repeatedly flipped back upon them so that we are given a different set of options that reflect a myriad of choices beyond the oversimplified form of thought that the American media propagates. Haggis devaluates American media spin in favor of our ability to look around ourselves and look directly into the social ills that relentlessly pound away at our peace of mind as we go through our automobile-obsessed lives. Crash is a movie designed to get people talking, and perhaps even acting outside of the system in a good way. MTW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA Wednesday May 11 WINTER SOLSTICE

5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater Anthony LaPaglia, Allison Janney, Aaron Stanford and Mark Webber co-star, and turn in superb and understated performances, in this poignant look at the impact a woman's love and support has on a father simultaneously struggling with his sons setting out to explore their independence and his first romantic feelings for a new neighbor since the death of his wife ,that has been described as being "as quietly dazzling as a small, very precious stone.” Rated R. 93 min.

New This Week CRASH - (R) - Drama - Doesn’t this happen in L.A. all the time? A Brentwood housewife and her DA husband, a Persian storeowner, two police detectives who are also lovers, a black television director and his wife, a Mexican locksmith, two car-jackers, a rookie cop and a middle-aged Korean couple all live in Los Angeles. And, in the next 36 hours, they will all collide. And how! See Film Critique.

THE HOUSE OF WAX - (R) - Suspense - A remake. And with Paris Hilton. Why??? Well, a group of friends on their way to a college football game falls prey to a pair of murderous brothers in an abandoned small town (of course). They discover that the brothers have their own main attraction—The House of Wax—creating an entire town filled with the wax-coated corpses of unlucky visitors. Now the group must find a way out before they too become permanent exhibits in the House of Wax. Why??? Paris? Why??!

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN - Action/Adventure, Drama and Romance - (R) - Now here is a common stranger in a strange land, who finds himself thrusted into a decades-long war. Ultimately, he must protect the people of Jerusalem from overwhelming forces while striving to keep a fragile peace. Oh yeah—he also falls in love with an exotic and forbidden queen, and rises to knighthoodom. What a guy.

OFF THE MAP - An 11-year-old girl watches her father (Sam Elliot) come down with a crippling depression. Over one summer, she learns the answers to several mysteries and comes to terms with love and loss. (So basically, life, in general). The mysteries of love and loss, the power of family unity, and the eternal truth that in New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment, anything is possible.

Now Showing A LOT LIKE LOVE - (PG13) - Romantic Comedy - Supposedly, this flick is about destiny, connection and the frequently fuzzy line between chance friendships and “happily ever after.” It traces the relationship of Oliver (Ashton Kutcher) and Emily (Amanda Peet) who met on a flight from Los Angeles to New York, each of them declaring that they couldn't be more wrong for each other. Uh, hello? Hasn’t everyone seen When Harry Met Sally already?! Yeah, we all know how this one ends.

AMITYVILLE HORROR - (R) - Horror - So here we are again, at this house of horror. Back in 1994, Ronald Defeo confessed to methodically shooting his parents and four siblings while they slept, claiming "voices" in the house drove him to commit the heinous murders. A year later, the Lutz family moves into the house thinking it would be their dream house. But shortly after settling in, bizarre and unexplainable events, nightmarish visions and evil—worse than just a leaky roof— resides... Damn, who is their real estate agent?!

THE BEAUTY SHOP – (PG-13) – Comedy – Here we are back in the chair again. Gina (Queen Latifia) has finally had it with her egotistical boss (Kevin Bacon). She ups and leaves, not only to open up a shop of her own but also taking a few of the key clients and shampoo girl (Andie MacDowell, Mena Suvaris and Alicia Silvertsone). Fixing up this rundown salon, Gina inherits a very colorful and sexy sassy new group of people, or just what is needed in a beauty shop—a bunch of chatty Kathy’s.

FEVER PITCH – (PG13) – Romantic Comedy So Ms. Barrymore is at it again. At first, he seemed like just a simple guy (Jimmy Fallon) she meets and falls in love with. However, you know there’s always a problem. This time it’s baseball.

Even though their lives are very different, the

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relationship seems perfect until... yes that’s right—the baseball season begins and she has to compete with his first true love: the Boston Red Sox. Hang in there, Drew.

HITCH – (PG13) – Romantic Comedy – Will Smith plays a matchmaker who uses less than honest methods in his work—whahhhhh???!?!—and then gets busted by a totally hot undercover reporter played by Eva Mendes. Oh, and there’s a chick in the movie named after a popular antihistamine.

HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY - (PG) - Action/Adventure, Comedy, Science-Fiction Earthman Arthur Dent is having such a bad day—not only is his house about to be bulldozed, but he discovers that he has an alien for a best friend. Actually, that would be rad! Meanwhile, Planet Earth is about to be demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass (so very Jetsons!). The universe begins when the world ends, nothing is what it seems—even a simple towel is the most useful thing in the universe. Who knew?

ICE PRINCESS – (G) – Romantic Comedy - Don’t think this is another Ice Castles, people. It’s just another one of them formulaic, cute teen chick underdog battles against “the popular girls” to rise up the ranks and win... something. A trophy? The presidency? Oh yeah, self-esteem. Whoopee. We all know self-esteem gets you nowhere. Just look at Robert Blake! Stars Michelle Trachtenberg, Joan Cusack and Kim Cattrall.

THE INTERPRETER - (PG13) - Drama, Thriller African-born U.N. interpreter Silvia Broome, (Nicole Kidman) inadvertently overhears a death threat against an African head of state scheduled to address the United Nation's General Assembly. Of course, she realizes that she has become a target and that no ones believes her, especially Tobin Keller (Sean Penn), the federal agent charged with protecting her.

KING’S RANSOM - (PG13) - Comedy - Malcom King (Anderson) is a wealthy and arrogant businessman.

And his ex-wife has plans to take him for all he’s worth. So well, duh, he’s determined to avoid losing his fortune to her and he gets this bright idea to plan his own kidnapping with the help of his mistress, and her ex-con brother. But soon enough, he’s not the only one who has kidnapping on his mind.

KUNG FU HUSTLE - (R) - Action/Adventure, Foreign, Comedy - Shanghai in the 1930s is a very dangerous time when gangs ruled the streets. The most notorious of these, the Axes, strike fear into the hearts of honest citizens and inspire admiration in one young wannabe, who wreaks havoc when he recklessly poses as an Axe member and causes a riot between the real gang members and the denizens of a housing project.

ROBOTS – (PG) – Animation, Sci-Fi, Comedy – This computer-generated cartoon details a world populated by robots. Yes, I know it sounds fantastic and even a bit childish, but really, this place actually exists! And I’ve been there! No, I swear—what? No, I haven’t taken my meds, yet. Anyway, it features the voices of Mel Brooks, Ewan McGregor, Halle Berry, Greg Kinnear and, of course, Robin Williams.

SAHARA - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - Explorer Dirk Pitt (Matthew McConaughey) takes on a treasure hunt

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL Castle Theater, 572-3456 Winter Solstice - R - Wed 5, 7:30

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Beauty Shop - PG13 - Th (12:55, 1:20, 3:45, 4:15), 6:45, 7:10, 9:25, 9:45, Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:30), 7:10, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 Crash - R - Fr, M-W (12:30, 3, 5:20), 7:45, 10, SaSu (12:30, 3), 5:20, 7:45, 10 Hitch - PG13 - Th (1:10, 4:10), 6:50, 7:25, 9:30, 9:45, Fr-W 7:25, 9:55 Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - PG - Th-Fr, MW (12:45, 1, 3:20, 4), 6:40, 7, 9:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (12:45, 1, 3:20), 4, 6:40, 7, 9:15, 9:30 House of Wax - R - Fr, M-W (12:45, 1:10, 3:15, 4:10) 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:45, 1:10, 3:15), 4:10, 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 9:50 Ice Princess - G - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:40, 4:50), Sa-Su (12:30, 2:40), 4:50 Off the Map - PG13 - Fr, M-W, (1:20, 4:15), 6:45, 9:25, Sa-Su (1:20), 4:15, 6:45, 9:25 Robots - PG - Th (12:30, 12:45, 2:45, 3, 5, 5:15), 7:20, 7:30, 9:30, 9:45, Fr, M-W (12:35, 2:45, 5), SaSu (12:35, 2:45), 5 Sin City - R - Th (12:40, 3:15), 6:30, 7:05, 9:20, 9:50, Fr-W (12:50, 3:30), 6:30, 7:05, 9:20, 9:45 XXX: State of the Union - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 1:15, 2:50, 4:20, 5:15), 7:15, 7:40, 9:40, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 1:15, 2:50), 4:20, 5:15, 7:15, 7:40, 9:40, 10

KA’AHUMANU 6

Paris’ next video... in several regions of North Africa in search of a ship called The Ship of Death—why, Dirk, why?! Anyway, along with his smarty pants sidekick (Steve Zahn), they use their clever heroics to help out the beautiful Doctor Eva (Penelope Cruz), who believes this ship is the reason why there are a lot of mysterious deaths.

She’s smart, that one.

SIN CITY – (R) – Action-Adventure and Crime/Gangster – Another tale of a violent city where the police department is more corrupt than the bad seeds. This futuristic tale follows three stories, including one involving Marv (Mickey Rourke), a bad ass who is a Terminator-like, nearly impossible-to-kill street fighter. He goes on a rampage of vengeance when his one-night-stand gets murdered—correction, his one true love. Aw, what a guy to care the morning after!

Also starring Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Michael Madsen and Jessica Alba.

XXX: STATE OF THE UNION - (PG13) Action/Adventure - NSA Agent August Gibbons (Samuel L Jackson) is fresh off the success of his last renegade recruitment, and once again finds himself in need of an outsider. Gibbons and his new agent Darius Stone (Ice Cube), now code-named "XXX," (uh, does that mean he’s a badass?) together must track down a military splinter group that is conspiring to overthrow the U.S. government.

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 A Lot Like Love - PG13 - Fr-W (1), 4:30, 7:25, 9:45 Amityville Horror - R - Th only (12:45, 3), 5:05, 7:10, 9:30 Fever Pitch - PG13 - Th only (12:30, 2:55), 5:20, 7:45, 10:05 Kingdom of Heaven - R - Fr-W (12:30, 1:15), 4:05, 7:05, 7:45, 10:05 Kung Fu Hustle - R - Fr-W (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:35 Interpreter - PG13 - Fr-W (1:10), 4:15, 7, 9:50 Sahara - PG13 - Daily (1:15), 4:40, 7:20, 10

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Hitchhiker’s Guide - PG - Th (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, 9:30, Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 7:30 Interpreter - PG13 - Th (1), 4:15, 7, Fr-Sa (1:20), 4:35, 7:20, 10, Su-W (1:20), 4:35, 7:20 Kingdom of Heaven - Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7:10, 10, SuW (1), 4:15, 7:10 Kung Fu Hustle - R - Th only (1:30), 4:45, 7:45 XXX: State of the Union - PG13 - Th (1:45), 5, 8, Fr-W (1:40), 4:55, 7:40

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Amityville Horror - R - Th (4:45), 7:40, 9:50, Fr-W 4:45, 9:30 Fever Pitch - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (4), 7:30, 9:45, SaSu (1:15), 4, 7:30, 9:45 Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - PG - Th (4:15), 7:10, 9:25, Fr, M-W (4:30), 7:30, 9:45, Sa Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:45 Kingdom of Heaven - R - Fr-W (1), 4, 7, 9:55 Kung Fu Hustle - R - Th (4:30), 7:30, 9:30, Fr,M-W 7:20, Sa-Su (1:45), 7:20 Sahara - PG13 - Th (4), 7, 9:45, Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 10, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 10

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 A Lot Like Love - PG13 - Th only (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:50 House of Wax - R - Fr, M-W (1, 4), 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (10:15, 1), 4, 7, 9:30 Interpreter - PG13 - Th (1:15, 4:15), 9:15, 9:55, MW (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:55, Sa-Su (10:30, 1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:55 XXX: State of the Union - PG13 - Th (1, 4), 7, 9:30, Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (10:45, 1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:50

8*

$

WED., MAY 11 *with MFF passport (5 films-$40)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

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PUREVOLUME

BY ANDREW SHKOLNIK

Snobby Record Store Friend’s Picks for Cult Music Videos LIGHTNING BOLT “POWER OF SALAD” (2002) DVD Want to see two smelly guys provide epileptic and trance-inducing music to packed warehouses full of sweaty moshing kids having as much fun as if someone opened up CBGBs on Sesame Street? You need to check out Lightning Bolt.

The current two-man flag bearers for avant noise (yes I just made that up) are Brian Chippendale on drums and “vocals”(Butthole Surfer-style gibberish) and Brian Gibson on bass. Their twin assault consists of grinding riffs and plodding splotches of distortion that take you to the edge of patience, before exploding into an endless gusher of ecstasy induced riffs, somehow managing to reference The Melvins, Napalm Death, Thelonious Monk, Led Zeppelin and Philip Glass—sometimes all in the same song. Besides providing some of the most exciting concert footage (all completely on the cheap—two hand-held cameras), Lightning Bolt pulls out the the ultimate show stopper—dragging the drum kit into the middle of the pit and finishing the gig from there.

“FORBIDDEN ZONE” (1980) I wouldn’t go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they’re definitely dirty. But a dog’s got personality. And personality goes a long way.

- Jules Winnfield Originally released in 1980, the Forbidden Zone is finally out on DVD. Written by Richard Elfman with music by brother Danny Elfman and the Mystic Knights of Oingo Boingo, this brain-damaged black-and-white musical is a feast for the senses. The star-studded cast includes Elfman’s brother and then-wife, MariePascal, as well as B-movie queen Susan Tyrell and most importantly, Herve Villechaize, better known as “Tattoo” from Fantasy Island. If you are a fan of Mr. Bungle, John Zorn, Cab Calloway and of course, Oingo Boingo, then you will love the soundtrack. The plot revolves around an inter-dimensional hole that leads to the Forbidden Zone, a universe run by Herve, a tiny and sadistic Don Juan who’s in charge of a little hell inhabited by nubile, bare-chested women bound and tortured to the syncopated rhythms of big band music. It comes off as a perverted live action Merry Melody cartoon complete with wrestlers, midgets, frog-headed assistants, chicken-boys, headless twins and tons of scantily clad beauties running around. The movie is silly fun, but there is a dark, nightmarish undercurrent running through it. Have you ever watched an obscure old black and white movie in the wee hours of the morning, drifted in and out of sleep, dreaming, and had the movie blend seamlessly into the dream so you can’t tell where one stops and the other starts? Forbidden Zone has that quality. The sets are cheaply made by the cast and crew, giving the movie a backwoods high school play vibe. There’s some excellent animation in it as well. But its main achievement was to give Herve Villechaize a dream come true—smoking cigars, shoveling down sausage and getting to fondle and grope hot girls and get paid for it. Is it filthy? Some say so. I prefer to think of it as dirty, but with personality. And personality goes a long way.

Andrew Shkolnik works at Request Records, 10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315, and is not really snobby but knows way more about music than is necessary. MTW

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ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

The Almost Forgotten Hawaiian Story Moses Goods, III, in The Legend of Kaulula’au Of all the Hawaiian myths and folklore, the legend of Kaulula’au is not the most well-known. Not even close. And yet, it’s an important and exciting part of Hawaiian culture, especially in the telling of Maui and Lana’i history. Kaulula’au was a real man and notable Maui chief, born to a woman resurrected from the dead and then banished to the ghost-ridden island of Lana’i for mischievous behavior. Talk about drama!

The tale of Kaulula’au was adapted from a story by W.N. Pualewa, translated into script by Keali’iwahine Hokoana and made into an extraordinary one-man act featuring Moses Goods, III, who performs no less than nine characters in the story.

Goods is an accomplished actor last seen in Kumu Kahua Theater’s Gone Feeshing at the McCoy Studio Theater in 2004. Recently, I spoke with him about his experience preserving Hawai’i’s ancient art form of storytelling.

Why did you decide to do this particular story?

It wasn’t my idea. It was my director/writer/producer Kea [Keali’iwahine Hokoana]—she does everything. She saw my last play at the MACC and asked me to do this. It’s been a learning experience.

How so?

I’d never done a one-man act before. I’ve had to learn how to rely on myself. In other plays, you have other actors to support you. If you make a mistake, you have someone to back you up. In this, I have to cover myself. I also have a lot of freedom, so at the same time, I don’t have accountability for other actors.

That sounds pretty rewarding.

Yeah, it is. Because it’s only me, I’m better able to feed off the audience—it’s a greater give and take. The reaction so far has been good, really good. I think it’s because the play is well scripted. You know, a one-man act has the potential to be boring. But this just flows, from narration into characterization.

Where are you from?

I’m from Maui but I moved to Oahu nine years ago and studied acting at the University of Hawai’i. I did some community theater there, as well as some minor film projects.

Do you ever get tired of performing the same play every week?

It’s different every time because there’s a different audience every time. I try to be flexible and to keep it fresh. I like the intimate, small space of the Ritz-Carlton theater because it allows the audience to be a part of

The Legend of Kaulua’au Friday, May 6, 7:30 p.m. at the McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. Tickets: $18. Call 242-7469. Also, every Thursday, 7:30 p.m. at the Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua. Tickets: $30.

For info, call 1-888-808-1055. what’s going on. The play is contracted to run through to November. It’s good to “take it on the road” by performing at the MACC. It’s a bigger space so there’ll be a different energy.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

I haven’t had any experiences with ghosts.

But my mom grew up in Hana, in a house where spiritual things were going on. It does seem to be something that the older [people] know about. It’s lost nowadays. I guess we just don’t look at that as a part of who we are anymore. Times change and those things fade.

How is this play important to you, personally?

This is the first show I’ve done that’s really a part of the Hawaiian culture. I’ve done everything from Shakespeare to kabuki—as many genres as possible. But I’ve never done a show like this. I was really interested in bringing back a lost form. And making a connection with a part of my culture.

What were you doing before this play started?

I was on my way to L.A. My parents wanted me to chase my dream. But I’m still fairly young, and decided to stay for them to help establish this restaurant. They opened Pulehu BBQ a year and a half ago. It’s going well but it usually takes about three years to get a restaurant going. After that, I will continue to drift along.

What are you helping them with?

I’m in the process of building a food wagon for them, like a food cart, to take to Kihei or Lahaina and sell our food. It would be fun for me ‘cause then I could just go surf, too.

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What do you want to do in the future?

I’d love to be able to act for the rest of my life. And if that includes making some money, then that’s ideal. But I just want to somehow be involved with my craft. MTW

Moses Goods, III, telling island stories

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Did you know of Kaulula’au before this performance?

No. He’s such an important person. Yet how many people have heard of him?

LETTERS

AY SIGN UP TOTD OF HE DJ’S 4 BATTLE

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MAY 5, 2005

25

thursday

05/05

BADA BING

friday 05/06

saturday05/07 sunday05/08

monday05/09 – wednesday05/11

Pono Players, Comedy Improv $15, 8pm

1945 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

BLUE LAGOON

Wed - Wahine Wednesdays w/DJ, No cover, 9:30pm

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8141

DJ Shark In The Water No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, 10pm; No cover; TUE - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emta $5 10pm; WED - Hone Uncle w/Duane Ferz Friends, 10pm, No cover

BOCALINO

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza $5, 10pm

The Band $5, 10pm

CASANOVA

The Full Tones, Soul/R&B $5, 9pm

The Cano Band, Tribute to Santana, $10, 9:45pm

Global Dance Party, House Beats, Drum&Bass, $5, 9:45pm

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Blast, $5, 9:45pm

CHARLEY’S

DJ Argie w/Elan Rae $3, 9:30pm

Sirrus B Posse $5, 9:30pm

Ladies’ Night w/DJ Durty $3, 9pm

MON - Kanoa & Friends, No cover, 9:30pm, TUE - The Truth, Local Country, $3, 8:30pm; WED - Sunn Lounge w/DJ Sal, $5, 9:30pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

COMPADRES BAR AND GRILL Lahaina Canery Mall - 661-7189

Salsa $5, 10pm

Cinco De Mayo w/Kapakahi & El Dogg, 4pm

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS The Legend Of Kaulula'au - Friday. A Hawaiian play by Keali‘iwahine Hokoana, adapted from a story

by W.N. Pualewa, starring Moses Goods, III. This oneman, nine-character show tells the little-known legend of Kaulula'au, once one of Maui’s most notable chiefs, but now almost forgotten. Born to a woman resurrected from the dead, he was banished to the ghost-inhabited island of Lana‘i, came to reign supreme on Lana‘i and then became a chief on Maui. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Jonny Lang - Friday. Blues/rock phenomenon Lang opened for the Rolling Stones the first time he performed in Hawai’i. This explosive young guitar slinger has played to sold-out audiences and has been fea-

tured on MTV and performed at the White House for the President with B.B. King. Opening Act: Gail Swanson. Tickets: $45, $40, $35. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

The Wailers - Saturday. Along with the late Bob Marley, The Wailers were widely recognized as one of the most important musical acts of the 20th century, and this current formation of the band is comprised of original recording/touring members. Special guests: Ekolu, Gomega and Marty Dread. Tickets: $25 advance, $30 day of show. 5 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

TICKETS ON SALE Te Vaka - May 13. Te Vaka delivers more than just a

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★Longhi’s is Maui’s Best Open Air ★ Night Club with Fantastic Ocean Views!

FRIDAY, MAY 6 FREE Valet Parking • Dinner served until 10:00 p.m. 9:45 music begins $5 Cover • Dinner Guests Free Admission

Dancing on Longhi’s fabulous koa wood dance floor longhis@maui.net 888 Front St. Lahaina 667-2288 www.longhis.com 26

MAY 5, 2005

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performance—they take the audience into the heart of Polynesian, accompanied by rhythm, color and melody. Traditional log drum rhythms from their Tokelauan, Maori and Samoan ancestors are fired with world beat/funk grooves on guitar and keyboard to hone the music and dance with a modern edge. Te Vaka the canoe speaks to a world culture: “Adrenalinepowered percussion bringing ancient traditions into the modern world. Tickets: $28, $18, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Mark Farina Mushroom Jazz Tour - May 13.

Mostly associated with the Mushroom Jazz series of releases, Farina is known for his downtempo but dance floor-friendly style of mixing jazz, house and hiphop. Special guest DJs: G-Spot, Daniel J. Tickets: $16.

9 p.m., Hapa’s Nightclub, 879-9001.

Mapa Spring Dance Extravaganza - May 14-15.

Saturday: Jazz, Tap & Hip-Hop Revue Sunday: Sleeping Beauty Ballet. Celebrate dance with two spectacular shows for the entire family. The classical tale of Sleeping Beauty gracefully put to dance and a high energy dance revue from toe tapping to heel stomping dance styles at its best. Tickets: $20 adult, $15 kids. 2 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Maui Classical Music Festival - May 15-16.

Music directors Yizhak Schotten and Katherine Collier are featuring two great evening programs and internationally known musicians: Yehonatan Berick, violin/viola; Ilya Kaler, violin; Irina Muresanu, violin; Yizhak Schotten, viola; Norman Fischer, cello; Amit Peled, cello; Elizabeth Francoeur, clarinet; Katherine Collier, piano; Jeanne Kierman Fischer, piano. Tickets: $33, $23, $10. Sunday, 4 p.m., From Russia With Love; Monday, 7:30 p.m., Festival Finale: A Night of Romance; McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Ram Dass and Dr. Wayne Dyer - May 19 - Two renowned spiritual leaders and “guiding lights” radiate from Maui to the world. This benefit evening honors Ram Dass (Be Here Now) help purchase a home for the wheelchair-bound leader, and set-up a financial foundation to allow him to live and continue to work.

Tickets: $100, $50, $25. 6:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Midnite - May 20-21 - Hailing from the Island of St Croix, Midnite is one of the most promising roots reggae bands of the millennium. They are vanguards of Conscious Reggae, whose profound and innovative lyrics are sincere and deeply rooted. Tickets: $20 adv, $25 door. Friday (21+), 9:30 p.m.; Saturday (all ages), 6 p.m., Hapa’s Nightclub, Kihei, 879-9001.

Sister Cities Festival Concert - June 11 - An evening to "Celebrate Peace in the World" featuring Uluwehi Guerrero and Halau Hula Kauluokala; the cast of 'Ulalena, and representative performers from Maui’s sister cities. Tickets: $25, $15, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Ki Ho‘Alu: Slack Key Guitar Festival. - June 26 - An all-day, all-star line-up of Hawai`i’s finest slack key musicians. The music of Hawaiian slack key guitar has

evolved into a popular musical tradition that truly captures the magic of Hawai´i. Event festivities include local vendors with fresh flower lei, fine Hawaiian arts & crafts and delicious local-style food. Free. 2-7 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Maui Festival Orchestra Concert - June 30.

Featuring a broad range of multicultural music including classical, Okinawan, Chinese and Hawaiian. Artists include Na Hoku Hanohano Award-winning Uluwehi Guerrero; internationally-known cellist Lifen Anthony and her 12-year old daughter Rianna. Maui’s popular taiko group Zenshin Daiko; the Maui Cello Ensemble and the Jinpu Kai USA Kin Lyosho Ryukyu Geino Ken Kyusho Okinawan Dancers. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

EVENTs

FRIDAY MAY 06 MCC's Friday Night Movie - 7-8:45 p.m., at Ka`aike Building, MCC. This week’s movie: 13 Going On 30 featuring Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo. A dorky 13-year-old girl tries to become popular by inviting the cool kids to her birthday party, but the plan backfires when they lock her in the closet. In the dark, she makes a wish to be all grown up. The next day she finds that she is a successful woman with a great job and lots of friends. Hmm... wouldn’t that be nice?!

Free. For info, call 357-7696.

Farmers Market celebrates Mother's Day - 7 a.m.-1 p.m. at MCC. Guaranteed 100% grown-onMaui produce, food and craft items made on Maui.

Entertainment by Victoria Barrett, plus breakfast buffet and lunch items prepared by Maui Culinary Academy students. Lavender tea samples from Ali'i Kula Lavender and lots of flowers for Mom. Free. For info, call 286-3276.

The Embodied Heart Ecstatic Dance - Fri, 6-9 p.m.; Sat-Sun, 12:30-5:30 p.m., The Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace. Author of Maps to Ecstasy, and Sweat Your Prayers, Gabrielle Roth will be using the five rhythms as a map to learn emotional energy morphs and moves. Roth will teach the lost art of falling in love and landing on two feet. (Okaaaay... that’s a tough one—I hope she knows what she’s doing!) For info, call 575-9390.

SATURDAY, MAY 07 Seabury Hall Craft Fair - 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Seabury Hall. Featuring Maui’s best entertainers and food, fresh produce, plants and flowers. Over 90 arts & crafts booths, including live or silent auctions. For the keiki, there will be treats, horseback rides, waterslides, games, cake walk, races, famous artist face painting. For info, call 573-0068.

Taste of Technology Fair - 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Maui Beach Hotel. Showcasing the new devices and services for the hard-of-hearing, deaf and speech impaired on, new devices that people who are deaf or

thursday 05/05

friday05/06

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Sudden Rush 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

DJ Boomshot 10:30pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

MON - Willie K, Live 104.7FM; TUE - Ultra Fab Tuesdays w/Fat Joe, 9pm; WED - Sin Night, 9pm Mon - Reggae At The Rock w/Marty Dread, $5, 10pm

Gina Martinelli 6-9pm

DJ El Gato w/Satdevna $5, 10pm

Live Local Artists 10pm, No cover

Rene Alonza w/Mike 6pm

Kenny Roberts 6pm

El Nino 6pm

Tommy Hall, Rene Alonza, Mike No cover, 10pm

Catastrophic, Island Vibin’ No cover, 9pm

Habanero Brothers $5, 9pm

Papa Dog Productions No cover, 9pm

Karoke w/James No cover, 10pm

JACQUE’S

120 Hana Highway, Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

monday05/09 – wednesday05/11

Tea Dance 9pm

Habenero Brothers 9pm

Lonnie Digable 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

Club 98.3 FM 9pm

El Dogg 9pm

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

saturday05/07 sunday05/08

MON - Dr.Nat, Jazz/Salsa, No cover, 7:30pm MON - Steve Mendoza, 6pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 6pm MON - Martini Monday; TUE - Island Grooves w/Vaughn; No cover, 10pm; WED - DJ BoomShot, No cover, 10pm

DA KINECALENDAR WEST MAUI

hard-of-hearing may qualify to receive for no cost. Free For info, call 808-375-9352.

Treating Waste Water - 9:45 a.m. at the Lahaina Wastewater Reclamation Facility. There's real science (as apposed to fake science?) in treating waste water, including living microbes that "eat" the pollutants and clean the water. An especially fun, entertaining and educational field trip for children and families. Free.

For info, call 270-7426.

Maui to Mexico - 5-8:30 p.m. at Hope Chapel, Kihei.

A Mexico fundraiser, including jewelry, clothing, art and furniture. Also, a live and and silent action.

Burgers by Outback Steak House. (Do they have burgers in Mexico?) For info, call 879-3853.

LECTURES Mai Uka A Kai O Kanaloa - Tue, 7-8 p.m. at Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center. Discussion of what happens on land and is reflected in the sea, and when the land is healthy, so is the sea. And what happens when it is imbalanced. (Really, what happens? So curious.)

Lecture is presented by Kalei Tsuha from the Kaho’olawe Island Reserve Commission. Free. For info, call 879-2818.

SPORTS Maui's Mental Health Golf Tournament - Sat, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. at Maui Lani. 12th annual tournament includes the $10,000 hole-in-one contest, great prizes will be presented. The luncheon will immediately follow the awards luncheon. For info, call 242-6461.

Waihe’e Dunes Walk - Sat, 9 .a.m at Waihe`e Coastal Dunes. A guided walk though the Waihe`e Coastal Dunes refuge. Visit and learn about one of the last remaining coastal dunes systems on Maui, as well as remnants of ancient Hawaiian villages, an inland fishpond and several heiau. Free. For info, call 244-5263.

Open Gym Nights - Tue, 6:30-9 p.m. at Lahaina Civic Center. Sports available during those nights will be basketball, volleyball, table tennis and board games. For info, call 661-4685.

STAGE Honk! - Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 5 p.m., at Iao Theater, Wailuku. This is the story of Ugly, whose odd, gawky looks instantly incite prejudice from his family and neighbors. Separated from the farm and pursued by a hungry cat, Ugly must find his way home. Along his rollicking and harrowing journey he not only discovers his true beauty and glorious destiny but also finds love and acceptance in all its forms. You go, Ugly! For info, call 244-8760, ext. 229.

DINNER MUSIC LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Park Way, Lahaina 661-0202.

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cafe O’Lei - Steve Sargenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Cheeseburger In Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Erik Pietsch Mon & Thu; Howard Ahia Fri-Sun, Hau Phat, Wed. All Sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thu-Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien, Tue; E rnest Puaa, Sun-Wed; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

SOUTH MAUI Bada Bing - Fri, Hilarious improv comedy with The Pono Players. Dinner & Show, $35. Seating 5:30-7 p.m. 8 p.m. $5.1945 S. Kihei Rd. in Kihei 875-0188.

Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Fri, Mon Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo Sat Braddah Frances and friends 6:30 p.m. Sun Terri Garrison 4 - 6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, , dinner and show. 8- 10p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., Mon Gypsy Pacific 8-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6 -9 p.m.

100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour $3 special's. Live entertainment Sun, Tue, Thu Tony & Peter. Wed & Fri Trevor Jones 4-6pm. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon;

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thur; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; Ernest Pua’a Kawika Lum and, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends.

Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Acoustic music with Mike Fri-Sat only 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 6670787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri-Sat, 2:30-5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m.; 2435 Ka’anapali Parkway, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm; Greg Di Piazza, Wed, 6-9 pm., Tue, Captain Billy Bones 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Gene Argel, Mon and Tue; Irish Billy Bones Wed-Fri. 6-8 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Sir Wilfred’s At Whalers Village - Sun. Live Jazz 5-9 p.m., main stage. The best jazz musicians on the island, along with special guest stars. 2435 Ka’anapali

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

27

thursday05/05

friday05/06 TBA

Kilohana 10pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

saturday05/07 sunday05/08

monday05/09– wednesday05/11

LIFE’S A BEACH

No information available

No information available

No information available

No information available

No information available

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

Ricardo Dioso 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

Live Music 9pm

Live Music 9pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

Voodoo Suns 9pm

LONGHI’S

888 Front Street, Lahaina - 667-2288

Live Music 9pm

Live Music 9pm

LULU’S

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

DA KINECALENDAR Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, Wed,Sun 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei 874-8385.

CENTRAL MAUI Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Live entertainment. 335 Hoohana St., Kahului Café Marc Aurel - Thursdays, Gene Argel and Shiro Mori, 7-10 p.m, 2nd Friday of every month, Shimmy Nights with Bellyroll Dance Company, 7-9 p.m. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Mañana Garage – Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live music every Wed. 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

RESORT SHOWS

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Embassy Vacation Resort – Ka’anapali Beach 104 Ka’anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz; 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artists, Tue, 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Wed, Fri Live Jazz. Sun, Anik, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar HRC MAUI

HAPPY MOTHER'S OTHER'S D DAY! AY! Late Night Specials

10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

50% OFF SUSHI & APPETIZERS FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL 5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

Kapalua 669-6286 The Shops at Kapalua

Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

28

MAY 5, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

MONDAYS

$3 Red Stripes

MARTY DREAD’S

REGGAE AT THE ROCK $5 COVER

FRIDAYS

DJ

BOOMSHOT EVERY FRIDAY! h a r d r o c k . c o m

WEST MAUI Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Swan Court: The Blue Note Swing Orchestra, Dancing nightly to Swing. Tue, Thu, Sat, 2-4 p.m.

Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Whalers Village Center Stage. Sat; Polynesian Hula Show 6:30 p.m. – 7 p.m. Sunset Jazz Show Sun 5 p.m.- 8 p.m. Mon; Dances of Polynesian, 6:30-7 p.m. and Drums of Tahiti, 7:30-8 p.m.; Wed, Polynesian Hula Show, 6:30-7 p.m.; and Tahitian Dance 7:30-8 p.m. All shows free.

Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656

thursday 05/05

friday05/06

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Swerve No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark & Mike; TUE - DJs Mackie Mac & Big Zeek, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Cinco De Mayo Celebration $10 adv, $15 door, 3pm

No Entertainment 8pm

Murray Thorne No cover, 9pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; TUE - Acoustico, No cover, 7pm; WED - No entertainment

Cinco De Mayo w/Smoke Wagon, 9ish

808 State presents “Snack Shop, 9ish

Crunch Pups 9ish

Effen Vodka Mothers Day w/Till The Cops Come, 9ish

MON - Erin Smith, 9ish; TUE - Curtis Williams, 9ish; WED - Hoku, 9ish

Live Jazz, No cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

Midnight Lounge w/DJ Heat $5, 9pm

Live Music $8, 9pm

Willie K, $5, 8:30pm

MON - Ladies’ Night w/DJ Boomshot, Ladies free, 9pm; TUE - DJ, No cover; WED - Live Blues, $5, 9:30pm

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

NEPTUNES

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Cinco De Mayo Fiesta w/Joe Cano, 9pm

PARADICE BLUZ

t

Lif e

Fr u

DA World Class House Music with Special Guest DJs

.

Sw

Dr.Nat Available for private events,

Every Wednesday night 9pm-1:30am Gift Baskets • Fruit Baskets • Flowers Delivered on Maui and now Shipping WORLDWIDE.

(808)27-SWEET(277–9338) SweetlifefruitCo@aol.com

s r

r

142 Hana Hwy., Paia

579-8085

TM

VISIT US AT www.mauifruitbasket.com

SUNDAY

May MONDAY

monday05/09– wednesday05/11

it

Co

ee

744 Front St., Lahaina - 667-5299

saturday05/07 sunday05/08

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

5

6

7

CINCO DE MAYO FIESTA ONEIN NIGHT RIO with FUNDRAISER JOE CANO PARTY!

COLONY STREET BAND

8

9

10

11

DRINK SPECIALS! 12

LIVE MUSIC

LADIES NIGHT $2 DRINKS

NO COVER

$3 CORONA $3 MARGARITA

VOODOO SUNS

JOE CANO

MIDNIGHT LOUNGE DJ HEAT

AND THE 4-WORD BAND

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

LIVE MUSIC

LADIES NIGHT $2 DRINKS

NO COVER

BOBBY INGRAM

JOE CANO

MIDNIGHT LOUNGE DJ HEAT

LIVE MUSIC

$3 CORONA $3 MARGARITA

13

No Panties No Piercing Just Kick-Ass

Tattoos Since 1998 10am-10pm Daily

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE TUESDAY

parties & weddings

14

Solo/duets and with Pacificaribe Jacque’s every Monday 7-10pm No Cover (3-5 piece) playing Latin, Gypsy and Brazilian Jazz, Reggae, Contemporary Island Style or with Hot Tropical Latin/Brazilian dance band Rio Ritmo (6-9 piece) playing Salsa, Samba, Pop Latin

Call 572-9536 for booking orvisit website www.drnat.com

CINCO DE MAYO FIESTA!

m

with Joe Cano

m

Midori Margarita Specials Homemade Sangria $3 Corona/Corona Light $3 Pacifico

ROSS GABRIEL

F R I D AY N I G H T, M AY 6

One Night In Rio Caporia Fundraiser Party

LIVE Brazilian Band DJ Heat Demonstrations Pakaloha Fashion Show!

CHECK PARADICEBLUZ.COM FOR CALENDAR UPDATES

S AT U R D AY, M AY 7

Colony Street Band San Francisco’s Hottest Dance Band R&B Funk Motown Classic Rock

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

29

thursday05/05

friday05/06

SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

DJs Durty & Apostle $3, 9pm

Fine Line $5, 10pm

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

saturday05/07 sunday05/08 Official Wailers After Party W/Marty Dread, $5,10pm

monday05/09 – wednesday05/11

Open Mic Night w/Jarod, 10pm

MON - North Shore Sextet, No cover, 9:30pm; TUE - John Moore Project w/Elan Rae, No cover, 9pm; WED - Head High, $3,10pm

Acoustic w/Kanoa & Cody No cover, 9:30pm

MON - DJ ED V, No cover, 10pm; TUE - The Lollipop Landlords, No cover, 10pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

MON - No Entertainment, No cover; TUE - Erin Smith No cover; WED - John Moore Project w/Elan Rae, 9pm

DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali - 667-4727

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Sunny No cover, 9:30pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

Jerry Caires $3, 9pm

Mark Epstein & Friends $3, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DA KINECALENDAR The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show Wednesday and Fridays.

5:15 p.m -8:30 pm.

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,Tue-Sat, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Kapalua Indoor Amphitheater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Tues 6 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate.

The Legend of Kaulula'au: Young Hawaiians loving their culture and willing to perpetuate an aspect of their Hawaiian culture, the art of storytelling. Every Thu at 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $30 and $27 Kamaaina. 1888-808-1055.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611

Maui’s Largest Selection of Musical Instruments & Sound Systems for 26 years

BOUNTY MUSIC Fender Accoustic Guitars starting at $12999

Ukuleles starting at $ 2999

Portable Keyboards starting at $ 11995

Fender Electric Guitars starting at $ 12599

NOT ALL PRODUCTS EXACTLY AS SHOWN

Play now with 90 days same as cash No money down O.A.C. Sale ends 5/31/05 111 Hana Hwy. • Kahului 871-1141 •www.ukes.com

MAY 5, 2005

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 Live Music Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Jazz entertainment from 69 nightly.

Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live Hawaiian contemporary music

by Lono Mon-Tue; Wed-Thu, Bobby Krueger; Fri Mahalo Greg; Sat, Rama Camarillo; Sun, Mondo Kane; all sets 6-9 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

Drums Sets starting at $ 64950

30

"Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace.

Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:3011:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

DA KINE CALENDAR

Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon & Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri. 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue & Thu, and Wed& Sat 7- 9p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

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When you see the @ at the end of an ad, that means the advertiser has a profile (and maybe even a picture!) at our online personals site. Note the username listed after the @, and check it out at

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For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

31

AUTOMOTIVE

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WE BUY & SELL

coins, tokens, medals, stamps, paper money, Hawaiiana, sport collectibles

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CLASSIFIEDS

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

32

Area 51 Computer Service www.area51maui.com On-Site Repairs & Upgrades Home Office/Networking 298-9274

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! Learn to SCUBA before it’s too late!

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Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

MAY 5, 2005

EMPLOYMENT

CASH GRANTS 2005!

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S Never repay! For personal bills, Maui’s most fun and amazing show school, new business. Fee for inforis looking to add: EXPERIENCED mation. $49 BILLION left unclaimed PREP-COOK from 2004. Live operators! 1-800-785- to join our energetic team! Apply in 6418 Ext. #88. (AAN CAN) person. Monday- Friday 9am- 4pm 900 Front St., Lahaina $50,000 FREE WARREN & ANNABELLE’S CASH GRANTS 2005!

Never repay! For personal bills, Maui’s most fun and amazing show is school, new business. Fee for infor- looking to add: P/T (Aft./Eve. Shift) FRONT DESK mation. $49 BILLION left unclaimed RECEPTIONIST from 2004. Live operators! 1-800-785to join our energetic team!

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Bubba Gump Shrimp Company WANNA HAVE FUN? WANT MORE HOURS? See us today for your interview!!

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$ MODELS WANTED $ For calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

Maui Recycling Service

Annual Model Search

If not now, when?

2005 STATE-WIDE E m a i l yo u r h e a d s h o t t o u s !

SIGNLANGUAGE TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

You’re a big monkey. That ain’t so bad, though. Orangutans, for example, live in complete symbiosis with their environment. They eat fruit, spilling seeds and nutrient-rich crap all over the forest, helping ensure its continued growth and renewal. Humans, at least as a race, are more or less a virus, without much hope of living in harmony with the land. At best, we aim for minimal impact. The bad news you already know: This planet-consumption will proceed apace. The good news: Forget minimal impact; you Bulls have the best chance of having more of a positive than a negative effect on everything you touch this week.

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Screen testing concludes July 15, 2005

*****5 PEOPLE PRODUCTIONS*****

NOTICES ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Pry. Be nosy. Snoop, sneak and persistently ask difficult questions. You can worm any secret out of anyone this week. Why wouldn’t you? Knowledge is power, and I trust you with it. (Mostly.) Enough to impart this kind of advice, anyway. You’re the best kind of spy this week, because you’re working only for yourself (and, of course, in some part of your subconscious, the betterment of the whole human race). There’s tons of juicy, important dirt out there, and someone’s bound to dig it up eventually. Why shouldn’t it be you, and sooner rather than later?

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com

Maui Lawn Works

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

AD DEADLINE

Your sex life is (or has been recently, at least) a rich complicated blend of flavors and textures, a virtual edible tapestry, right? Not so much. It may have seemed that way at the time, but the delicious new complexities you’ll have the opportunity to sample this week will make your former diet seem as bland and inoffensive as tofu.

Luckily, bean curd soaks up whatever you put it with, so start marinating, baby. Drink in some of the spicy new ideas the cosmos has plunged you into. By the time this chapter is over, I don’t expect you to have simply tried a few new dishes. I anticipate, instead, that you’ll write a whole new cookbook.

MONDAY 4PM

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) You’re already larger than life. This week, due to the gaggle of celestial influences on your sign, you have the potential to be at least three times louder, four times as influential, and get five times as much attention as you’re used to. Now that everyone’s listening to you, be positive you know exactly what you’re saying. Since more people are subject to your will than at any time since last summer, make sure your instigation is properly thought out.

Lastly, make sure you’re getting all this attention for all the right reasons, and none of the wrong ones.

TO ADVERTISE

Jason Meyer

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Western society tends to view the heart as the seat of the emotions, but many other cultures say the root of intense feelings is actually the liver. They may have a point: It outweighs the heart and is made of softer stuff— heart tissue is pretty tough. You’ve been pretty tough lately, too. Do you really need to be so rugged? Might I suggest taking a break from feeling everything with your sturdy, efficient heart, and switch to experiencing your emotions from a sloppier, softer organ? Repeat after me: I love you with all my liver.

573-1920 S.&W. MAUI CONDOS $193,000 fee simple W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $450,000

Call 661-3786

from

P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

ROOMS FOR RENT SANDHILLS ROOM FOR RENT 1 Bedroom in 2 Bedroom House $525/month. Backyard, Parking, Washer/Dryer. Call Joan at 875-1700 ext. 10

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN)

VACATION RENTALS Friends or Family Visiting Maui?

Affordable Studio Condo w/ Kitchen.

Newly Remodeled, Clean, AC, View of Pool. Ideal Kihei Location, 2 minute walk to Maui’s Best Swimming Beach. Call for rates 875-7893

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

808.661-0446

5 min. from Red Sand Beach and stores Long term/short term

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY!

248-7621

SERVICES MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo!

Bi-monthly pick up.

Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

LETTERS

NEWS

SURF

DINING

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) The Sagittarian symbol is a centaur—a creature half horse, half man. It’s Chiron, a wise teacher, skilled in the medical arts, especially herbal medicine and surgery, who taught Asclepius and Hercules. He gave his immortality to Prometheus when he received an incurable wound, and was made into the constellation of Sagittarius by Zeus. Why mention this? Your power to heal is overlooked too often, especially by you. You may need it soon. It’ll need a tune-up and some revving to get it going again, just like an old car that’s sat on blocks for a while. The best way to get it in gear? Healer, heal thyself.

WEBSITE

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Choose a theme song. You’re going to need something that’s consistently uplifting for you, and that you can keep cued up on your iPod to play on a moment’s notice. It’s going to be a tough week. Not because anything outrageously horrible will happen, necessarily, but simply because the rules of the game you’re forced to play (at least for the moment) are downright depressing. It’s hard to remain upbeat, patient, trusting and openhearted when the hoops you’re required to jump through are so lame, difficult and spiritually degrading. Keep that song playing and try to smile anyway. You’ll make it through.

www.mauitime.com

MAILING

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Pull on those elbow-length yellow rubber gloves, grab a bucket and some rags. It’s time for some belated spring-cleaning—and not just of your house. Your head and heart are messes, too. The mildew in the shower of your emotions has got to be scoured away. The mold lurking in the back of the refrigerator where you store your freshest ideas is plotting a take-over. The dust bunnies under the bed of your inner peace have been propagating and mutating. Take a sponge or broom and some heavy-duty cleaners to all your winter’s grunge, or you’ll be scrubbing old stains all through the summer, instead of busy acquiring new ones.

658 Front Street #126A-7278

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Don’t let ennui make you an addict. This is the kind of week that could wear you down slowly, grinding away at any good moods you might have started with. What’s worse is there’s nothing you can point at to explain or justify the sour, or at least bored, mood you’re likely to end up in. That sucks because some of the people around you have this ridiculous expectation that you should be happy if you can’t describe exactly what’s wrong. Most Pisces respond to this tedious quandary with drugs, alcohol or other self-destructive stuff, just to cut through the murk. Don’t do that right now. The haze will lift soon enough on its own in a few days—unless you reinforce it with a cloudy mind; then it’ll last for weeks instead.

Lahaina, HI 96761

DROP OFF

Call 661-3786x5 by 4 pm on Monday to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

COVER STORY

Damn, you’re on fire! We’re hanging on your every word. No joke. You could start a new religion right now, make the business deal of the decade, or simply get hot models into bed. All you have to do is talk. Don’t overthink it. Just share what’s on your mind. For some reason, most of those around you will find what you say compelling, regardless of whether or not they like it. Of course, this isn’t just an opportunity to climb up onto whatever soapbox happens to be nearby. It’s also a chance to work through some tough shit that’s been sidelined for a while now, mostly because the other person (or people) it involves hasn’t been willing to hear what needs to be said. Say it now; trust me, they can’t help but listen.

classifieds@mauitime.com

CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation PRESCRIPTION DIET PILLS rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free No prior prescription needed.

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CAMPING

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

EMAIL

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

HEALTH

Ah, springtime, when a young (wo)man’s fancy turns to lust. This time of year is chock full of sweet temptations that might divert your attention from the primary object of your desire. Libras are notoriously likely to flirt outrageously with anyone and everyone. Spring fever adds extra momentum to your pseudo-seductions, inertia you may not be aware of. Imagine your flirtation as a long train, pushing over a steep hill. You have to start braking well before the whole thing is over the top, or you’ll race out of control to the bottom, and end up between the sheets. This might not be a bad thing, I’m just warning you so you can go into it with your eyes open and your horn tooting.

FAX NUMBER

CLASSIFIEDS

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R)

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Imagine yourself zooming down a slick, snow-covered slope, a thin lozenge of a board strapped to your feet.

You’re freezing and banged-up from the crashes and wipe-outs associated with learning to snowboard. Now, to turn this thing, you have to lean downhill. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to get an edge into the powder and, well, steer. Despite my out of season message, my analogy is otherwise accurate: You are racing along the path you chose, and although your instinct may be to take a step back and try to slow down—the only way to stay in control is to take your whole self and lean, hard, in the direction you’d like to go.

505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

CAERIEL@YAHOO.COM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

33

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Uncovering the Secrets of Connubial Bliss I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan.

- Claire Cloninger, author of When the Glass Slipper Doesn’t Fit and the Silver Spoon Is In Someone Else’s Mouth I just don’t get the whole marriage thing. And as more time goes on, and innumerable friends and colleagues join the ranks of connubial bliss, I can’t escape the feeling that I somehow missed that gene of matrimonialability.

It’s not that I don’t want it one day. It’s just that I don’t know how it actually happens. I could never understand the process of meeting someone, falling in love and deciding you want to spend— in theory—the rest of your lives together. Isn’t it hard enough to make it through to the weekend?

Because I am so conjugally illiterate, I’ve decided to ask a few of my most happily married friends— and the least annoyingly happy—why and how they did it, and what they do to keep it going.

The couple I spend the most time with is T and J, who’ve been married for two years. They are a perfect balance of solidarity and individuality—devoid of any uncomfortable bickering or smothering affection—which makes them a joy to hang out with, even if you’re a decidedly partner-free—and well, sometimes bitter—gal like myself.

The first time they met, J insisted, “no sparks flew.” It wasn’t until years later when they started hanging out with mutual friends at a party, that T “strayed her away from the herd and got her half-naked.” T and J were then inseparable, hanging out, partying together and officially living in sin a mere six months later. T proposed after a year and a half.

“We were just going with the flow,” said J, “without trying to make any statements. Marriage was a sneaky surprise. And I couldn’t imagine living my life without him.”

“There’s a window to make stuff happen,” said T. “Or be stuck in limbo. The timing was right—we weren’t just kids fucking off.”

J said the greatest thing about marriage is she has the best companion ever. The worst? “He won’t take out the garbage.”

The most difficult part, T said, is “you have to pull your own weight around the house.

“If you’re single,” he said, “you can take out the trash whenever you want.”

But for T, the best thing about being married is “the little things. Like when we both say things at the same time.”

He insists their marriage works because they enjoy doing much of the same things. Like “making fun of other people,” for instance. And he tells young couples, “Don’t be kooky with your chick. Let her be her own person and do her own shit.”

While J advises future wives to “get your husband to sign a prenuptial contract to take the garbage out,” she also feels it’s important in a happy marriage that you “don’t sweat the small stuff.”

R and M agree. They met 16 years ago, and married after nine years of dating. At the time, R didn’t really believe in the institution, but married more for their family’s happiness than anything. Six years later, both are glad.

“I live with my best friend,” said R, and insists there is nothing hard about marriage—“not with M”—despite his inherent clumsiness.

“I respect him more than anything we’d fight about,” said R. “I love him more than I care about a vase.”

B and N married nearly 20 years ago. It was a second marriage for both. “I think people should get married three or four times,” said B. “The first time is just practice.”

They both admit that they are complete and total opposites, and don’t have the same interests or tastes in anything. B said this is what makes them interesting.

“Having too much in common is boring,” he said.

“That was the biggest mistake in my first marriage.”

While they enjoy each other’s differences, N said they do share something that may be the secret to their long-term success.

“A lotta talking and a lotta laughing,” said N. “We talk everything out, all the time.”

B said the thing he appreciates most about his marriage is “the adventure of it”—taking risks, provoking one another to do things they wouldn’t normally do.

“Most people expect things to stay the same,” said B. “But you have to be able to adapt to constant change. And it’s important to reinvent yourself all the time.”

Congratulations, Chad and Carey!

Samantha Campos has never faked a kidnapping to get out of her wedding ceremony but once faked a wedding to get out of work. MTW

34

MAY 5, 2005

CLASSIFIED

Mind Body Spirit A G U I D E F O R H E A LT H Y L I V I N G CLUB TANTRA Tantra lesson, followed by intimate party. Saturdays, 7PM, 244-4103.

Couples, singles. Single women free.

244-4103

www.lifebydesignonmaui.com

Are You Looking For Guidance, Clarity & Specifics?

Sharon Brooks Gifted Clairvoyant Intuitive Open Channel • Dynamic Life Coach Workshop Leader • T.V. Appearances Call for info 808-891-9247

COLON THERAPY With Shelley St John RN., CHT. Other holistic therapies available. 573-0696 Find Maui’s Holistic Events!

Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New June/July Maui Vision Magazine Coming Soon! Call 669-9091 for info.

SOULMATE SPECIALISTSYLVIA BROWN Strong & powerful methods reuniting lovers forever. Solves impossible cases.

No false promises. Guaranteed immediate results. Complimentary consultation. 210-647-0720

Move your body!

Express your spirit!

Free your mind!

PIPES

Nia – fitness for every Body Erin Graue – Certified Nia Teacher

www.niamaui.com – 242-4343

Alice In Hulaland

I am a waterfall of power...

Healing every bit of life that comes to my right

INDIGO OCEAN Spiritual Energy Healing & Channeled Guidance. 573-4290 www.clearlightnature.com

Aloe Vera Aquila • COSMIC BODYWORK • REFLEXOLOGY • YOGA/DANCE TEACHER • 5 YEARS RAW FOOD • LIFECOACHING

879-5881 ext.7 Now under new management

Take the

allenge Ch

KAMA`AINA 3 Classes INTRO for $30 SPECIAL Take the classes on consecutive ay Yoga 3D days, get $20 OFF your next package

3

Hard Rock Center (next to Shoe Fetish)

LETTERS

NEWS

Blown Aboriginal PIPES MAUI Home

BARBARA WILLIAMS

TTOP ROPICAL ARTWARE / U.L.C. FLOOR WHARF CINEMA CENTER ACROSS FROM BANYAN TREE

875-2081 MAT #7179

CHARGE IT! ALOHA SEXUAL HEALTH & HAPPINESS

Counseling For all Sex & Intimacy Concerns

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

Confidential • Free Phone Consultation

Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D.

NIA KEEPS EXPANDING! The Studio Maui, Maui Lotus Yoga, and NOW Island Spirit Yoga in Lahaina.

Please visit www.niamaui.com for further details and come sweat your joy!

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL BRAD AT 661-3786

Mon-Fri 9am-7pm • Sat 9am-4pm • Sun by Appt.

Full Circle Toe Rings Since 1987 14k Sterling • Unique Jewelry Oceanic Woods • Weapons • Spiritual Fetishes

FOR YOUR HEALTH & WELL BEING

I PROVIDE PERSONAL/BUSINESS COACHING SOLUTIONS For effective lifestyle management. If you are ready for a change call 619364-6620

MASSAGE THERAPY With Daniel Fowler, Available in Wailuku. $70 or sliding scale.

Specializing in Therapeutic Lomilomi, Deep Tissue and Injury rehabilitation.

MAT # 2765 Call 280-0733

In Kihei

19 Baldwin Ave Paia 579-9922

OPEN MINDED MEN Full participation. Private/Discreet. Call Jimmy 669-1972

SACRED BODYWORK Quality, hands-on healing touch for discriminating clients. Nurturing, enjoyable, spiritual...a different experience. Call 572-2623. 9am-9pm

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE Affordable Outcall Service with Carla Justice 665-5953. MAT#7258

HEALING HANDS

• Glass Designs • Vaporizers • Grinders • Hand Made on Maui

BODYWORKER FOR

Sex life on hold?

Sex therapist with 20+ years exp. will help you overcome ED, premature ejaculation, lack of desire, shyness, fear of intimacy, communication problems. Discuss your sex & relationship concerns confidentially.

Free initial phone consult. Call Dr. Bouchard today at 891-0952.

Ama 1 1/2 z i n g Mass Hour age $65

re unctu Acup cials. a F !

Work They

$45 MASSAGE!!! $35 Acupuncture, $45 Facials. 7 days a week. Blue Bamboo Chinese Medical Center, 2099 Wells St. Wailuku 2446778

Discover True & Lasting Happiness Free yourself from old patterns of suffering. Live in love & gratitude. Find out what’s real and who you are! It’s possible for you! Loving, Clear Guidance 283-1222

PUKALANI MASSAGE THERAPY Outcall Service. Relax & de-stress in the comfort of your own home. Feel radiant. $40/hr. 298-8328, 25 years experience, MAT# 5779

COVER STORY

SURF

(not valid with any other offers, new students only, exp.5/30/05)

250-1220

DINING

Doctor of Human Sexuality If not now, when? 891.0952 www.sexhappiness.com

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION ANCIENT HAWAIIAN TEMPLE BODYWORK 6 day intensive May 18-23, 2005 with Lavenda Schaff & Aloha Aina Healing Arts. Learn this ancient healing art form. You can change your life & the lives of others. Please call 808-8798361 or visit our website www.alohaainahealingarts.com for more information & registration.

NEW BELLYDANCE YOGA CLASS With Leyla Atwill. Free your spirit. Be in shape. North end of Kam 3 Park, Kihei, near white gazebo. Saturday 9:00am.

891-8979

MASSAGE RELAX THE MIND, BODY & THE SENSES The Power of Therapeutic Touch.

Massage Therapy by Dante. In/Out Calls. $50/$60 for an hour. Swedish, Shiatsu, Lomi and Reflexology. Lahaina area. MAT#8577 250-9442

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 5, 2005

35

kcab

edis

Sweet Life Fruit Company

Burton Feinerman, M.D. Cosmetic Dermatology

Gift Baskets, Fruit Baskets & Flowers Delivered on Maui or shipped worldwide. Sweet Life Fruit Co. 808-27SWEET (277-9338) or (6629338) www.mauifruitbasket.com

HIGH VISIBILITY! LOW COSTS! BACK SIDE CLASSIFIEDS WORK!

CALL (808) 661-3786 for complete details!

FISHING ACTION!

Lifestyle Assistant Opening Rare opportunity for service oriented, fun, personable single woman to help a conscious, creative, generous vegan man in a spectacular Wailea home full time. Be roughly equal parts Domestic Angel, Nutritionist and Organizer to fill this lucrative spot.

Keep house, arrange flowers, do laundry, iron, juice, prep healthy meals, run errands and organize clutter.

Negotiable arrangements. 891-8789

Have you written a good book?

Get Published! Get Known! Free evaluation 1-800929-1161 * www.taylor-dth.com The Cost Effective subsidy publisher.(AAN CAN)

JOSH JERMAN REALTOR (S) 2005 Maui Scholarship Fund

(2) $1000.00 College Scholarships for Maui County Graduating Seniors.

Application & Guidelines at

BornOnMaui.com

JOSH JERMAN R (S) MAUI’S PREMIER REAL ESTATE TEAM

STOP WISHIN’ & GO FISHIN’ 42’ BERTRAM SPORTFISHERS

RATED #1

Maui: (808) 667-2774 KONA: (808) 327-1265

TOLL FREE 1-800-590-0133

I’ao Acupuncture & Spa! Amazing Acu-Facial: A highly effective facial consisting of Acupuncture, a green tea extract wash, an herbal plaster mask, topped with a pearl powder aloe moisturizer. Don’t wait...call now: 249-8280

45

$

MASSAGE & FACIALS

35Acupuncture

$

ACUPUNCTURE PRICES VALID THRU MAY 2005

7 DAYS A WEEK

BLUE BAMBOO

An Independent Member Broker

283-2222 visit: BornOnMaui.com

244-6778 2099 Wells St., Wailuku

MAT#5293

Chinese Medical Center & Spa

•Anti-Aging Medicine •Weight Loss Program That Works •PPC Injections To Dissolve Fat Safely •Contour and Shape Your Body •Botox-Collagen-Restylane Wrinkle Fillers •Foto Facial IPL Wrinkles, Brown Spots •Chemical Peels Safe; No Down Time •New Acne Scar Treatment With Levulan/IPL •IPL Hair Removal •HGH-Testosterone Female Bioidentical Hormones

874-5141 1819 S. Kihei Road Kukui Mall, Kihei www.anti-agingmedicine.com

LOOKING FOR FLAGS FROM AROUND THE WORLD? We’ve got Maui’s Best Selection and Lowest Prices.

Also Collectable Old Coins, Collectable Old Stamps and Sports Memorabilia. Island Coins & Stamps, Wharf Cinema Center, 3rd Floor, Lahaina, 667-6155

www.TRYHAWAIIFIRST.com Hawaii’s Auction Site Now Open for Business. Save on Shipping. Auction by Island. No Standard Listing Fees. Call (808) 250-4443

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Full service nationwide adoption agency specializing in matching families with birthmothers. TOLL FREE 24/7 866-921-0565. ONE TRUE GIFT ADOPTIONS www.onetruegift.com (AAN CAN)

PERFECT HAIR BRAIDING

By Carribean Native. In/Out Calls. 808-879-5881 ext.

7. Aloe

LOOKING FOR HAWAIIAN MUSIC? New & used CD’s-All music types-Special ordersDolphin Plaza Kihei-Beach Road Records- 874-TUNE

Medical Marijuana Is approved in Hawaii for: Cancer, Glaucoma, HIV/AIDS Cachexia/Wasting Syndrome, Chronic Nausea Epilepsy/Seizures, Multiple Sclerosis, and Crohn’s Disease also Chronic Pain Disorders such as Chronic Neck and Back Pain If you have any of these conditions, you may qualify for Legal Medical Marijuana. We are medical doctors and we can help you obtain your permit.

You will need to provide us with copies of your medical records documenting your medical history.

874-5141

Weekdays 9-5

mjmaui.com

MAKE MOM INTO A BRONZE GODDESS THIS MOTHER’S DAY! UV Tanning & Spray Tanning, Gift Cards Available.

Maui Magic Tan, 910 Honoapiilani Hwy. Lahaina 662-GOLD

VIAGRA VIAGRA - $2.40/dose - CIALIS available Lowest price refills Guaranteed! Call PBG we can help! Non Profit Organization Toll free: 1-866-579-8545 (AAN CAN)