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■ MARCH 3, 2005

■ VOLUME 8

■ ISSUE 36

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5 ‘EVERETT’S BILLS’

How one developer nearly killed Akaku

8 ‘SO-CALLED ENVIRONMENTALISTS’ Is public testimony a bad thing?

25 ‘A COVER BAND IN REVERSE’ Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

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VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 36

www.mauitime.com Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com

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•Spaceman Sheldan Nidle is our alien ambassador – by Barukh Shalev

MAUI COUNTY 4 5

•Letters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

•Coconut Wireless •Overheard...

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•News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon

Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther

this week’s picks - P. 19

Interns: Kellie Holliday, Gabrielle Poccia Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com Office Assistant: Becky Spector Web Design: Liko Resources webmaster@likoresources.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com

– by Samantha Campos

•‘So-Called Environmentalists’

26 •The Grid & Calendar Listings

Spaceman - P. 10

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2005 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

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•Op Ed: But Who Watches the Watchdogs?

31 •Personals 32 •Classified Listings 33 •Sign Language 34 •HoloHolo Girl 35 •Mind, Body & Spirit

Bloggers and the new McCarthyism – by Ted Rall

ONO KINE GRINDS •Eating at the Bar Checking out the ‘grill’ part of the SandBar & Grill – by Samantha Campos

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Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson

19 •This Week’s Picks 22 •Film: BeIt’sCoolOkay to Be Cool (




) – by Cole Smithey 23 •Movies & Times 25 •A&E: ‘AMe Cover Band in Reverse’ First and the Gimme Gimmes do it the hard way

How did public testimony become a bad thing? – by Cheryl Ambrozic-Mooz

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Contributing Writers: Cheryl AmbrozicMooz, Kelly Chambers, Caeriel Crestin, Ted Rall, Barukh Shalev, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey

Production Assistant: Wendy Higa

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•LC Watch •Food Cops •‘Everett’s Bills’ How a local developer nearly killed Akaku – by Anthony Pignataro

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR NICE, BRAH I’d like to thank you very much for especially the last story in the Eh Brah Collection (“Your tales of life on Maui’s Roads,” Feb. 24, 2005). A very positive thing. But you know what—I think I’m the guy that that happened to. Because the lady in the rain, when we were helping my friend move, and she was standing on the side of the road. I wonder if that’s the same person. I’m so glad you guys put some nice, positive thing in there. That’s really a good balance for the rest of that thing. -Buck Mickelson, via voicemail

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Colorado professor Wade Churchill wrote that people killed on 9/11 were working to further a capitalist system that contributes to the misery and death of millions of people around the globe (“Censor this Column,” Feb. 24, 2005). This was an opinion that no one was forced to read, listen to, or believe. I suspect many of the same people who would muzzle Churchill have no problem with the nasty, hate-filled, inflammatory distortions poured out by rightwing commentators, nor with the current administration’s suborning of journalists who took federal funds to propagandize for the government, nor with the erroneous claims that Iraq was a threat to the U.S. -Don Francis, Haiku

WE HAVE A TYPE MACHINE? I’m reading the paper here, the Coconut Wireless, and in it you say “soldiers and marines” (Feb. 10, 2005). And “soldiers,” indeed, is lowercase, but “marines” is always capitalized. So please make an adjustment there in your type machine. -Anonymous, via voicemail The Editor responds: Actually, the U.S. Army style guide says, “uppercase

when referring to the branch of service (the Marine Corps, a Marine helicopter) but lowercase when referring to individual soldiers (soldier, sailor, marine).” Perhaps that’s just inter-service rivalry, but it’s the style we—and many other news organizations and book publishers—follow.

PAIA SOLD FAKE EARRINGS? I, being a former resident of this great and beautiful island, think there are some people way too fucking obsessed with change. Recently there was an article in this very magazine that spoke of the “old days” in Paia (“Seeing Paia Completely,” Feb. 3). Hey! Does anyone remember Icees? Or what about the Wunderbar? I can remember watching Steven Tyler get a tattoo back when I was still a grom and when the tattoo parlor in Paia was still selling fake tattoos and earrings. It’s crazy how much things have changed! This article before me was just touching the surface of how bad it’s gotten! We are slowly losing the very charm that draws people to us in the first place! One need only take a look at Oahu to see the possible future of Maui. I pray that when I finally return to this great island it won’t be completely ruined by greed! -Rasha Mosher, via email

WORD FROM OUR TWO FANS Your weekly newspaper is great. -Blackie, Lahaina I would like to thank you on the fine job you and your staff does for the island of Maui. I like the fact that you guys now put on your front page that you are the only independently and locally owned and run publication here on the island. Keep persevering on what is the true meaning of free press. We need your newspaper on this island so all will not forget what is truly important: our independent minds and spirits. -Rhea Boyd, via email

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

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MARCH 3, 2005

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(888) HONOLUA

We supposedly live in the “Aloha State.” You’d think that would mean something. But no. That’s why I’d like to thank all you unfeeling workers at the grocery story for helping a sista out. There I was, carrying a four-month-old baby and my groceries, when I locked my keys inside my car. Yeah, it was my fault. Still, it was 9 p.m. After asking several workers for help, not one of you tried to assist me in any way. You just kept passing me off—manager and all. I couldn’t believe how you all just stood there looking at me completely stuck on stupid. Finally one sista happened to walk in the store and did end up feeling sorry for my baby and me. She tried to help as much as she could. Great customer service, guys. All I have to say is that is REALLY MESSED UP!

MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

‘Everett’s Bills’

New Kid on the Block

How a local developer nearly killed Akaku The Akaku public access cable channels will live. Barely, hobbled by a 33 percent cut in its state funding, but it’ll live. For the last two weeks, Kahului-based Akaku has been under assault from two bills zipping through the state legislature. The bills, HB 784 in the House and SB 959 in the Senate, would have taken away twothirds of the $700,000 the station gets from the state each year. The money would then have been given to Maui Community College and the state Department of Education. But a last minute deal between the three parties that would cut the station’s funding by just a third is at hand. The Akaku board will vote on it on Mar. 8. The man at the center of the fight is unlikely, to say the least. It’s land developer Everett Dowling. Known mainly for building homes and being a former 50 percent-owner of the Maui Weekly, Dowling has pushed both bills with great vigor and speed. Indeed, his interest was so apparent that state legislators began referring to them as “Everett’s bills.” On Feb. 11, Dowling testified before the

Food Cops The following tale is taken straight from official complaints and inspection reports on file with the State of Hawaii Department of Health Food Safety office.

Establishment Lulu’s

Location 1941 S. Kihei Rd.

Date April 6, 2004

Time 3:40 p.m. A concerned party informed a chef at Lulu’s that employees were storing ashtrays full of cigarette butts in the kitchen. Thankfully, according to this particular report, the employees are all instructed to smoke outside. But they apparently tend to bring the full ashtrays back into the kitchen where there is a chance for ashes and filters to contaminate ingredients and or plates. But have no fear! Management has reminded the employees that this habit is somewhat less than completely sanitary. And that means the ashtrays are going to have to remain outside. -G. Poccia

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Is Makena to blame? Senate Committees on Commerce, Consumer Protection and Housing and Intergovernmental Affairs on SB 959. “Maui Community College (“MCC”), the Department of Education (“DOE”), and I have tried to discuss their concerns with the Executive Director of Akaku, but Akaku refuses to share the public funds in an equitable manner,” Dowling told the committees. In fact, Akaku provides a tremendous amount of educational programming. But the man who has made clear his intention to invest in the resort development of Makena didn’t mention any of that. But he did tell the committees that they should “not hesitate to contact me if you need any assistance in drafting the amendment.” To the public, Dowling has said his interest in gutting Akaku funding is entirely altruistic. He says he feels Akaku was taking money away from schools and he wanted it stopped. But Dowling neglected to say, according to McLaughlin, that he’s been after his station because of Akaku’s frequent airings of antidevelopment programming. “We’re the leveler,” station CEO Sean McLaughlin said on Feb. 24 on Hawaii Public Radio’s Town Square program (Disclosure: I was a call-in guest on the show). “We’re not anti- or pro-development. We let the community report. Money doesn’t buy you any leverage.” Another Town Square guest, University of Hawaii communications chair Gerald Kato, noted that “it speaks volumes” that Dowling wouldn’t appear on the program. Charlie Jencks of the Maui Contractors Association and builder Steve Goodfellow both gave brief and nearly identical testimony along with Dowling on Feb. 11 and also refused to go on the program. Later, one caller said she was glad host

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Beth-Ann Kozlovich “has the balls” to criticize Dowling’s anti-Akaku actions, considering that his firm is a Hawaii Public Radio sponsor. I called Dowling to ask him why he was so interested in these bills. He would only respond by email. “Having developed two schools on Maui, Dowling Company, Inc., has exhibited that it is a strong supporter of education in Maui County and, as such, supports the proposed legislation,” he wrote on Feb. 24. After thanking him for his response, I then asked him what his response was to the allegation that he was only going after Akaku because of anti-development programming the station had aired. He responded by brushing aside the question. “In response to your question, some within Akaku are attempting to frame this as a ‘Freedom of Speech’ issue, which it is clearly not,” he wrote the next day, on Feb. 25. “It is a question of equitable funding to accredited educational institutions.” Oh. All this controversy has nothing to do with free speech because Dowling says it doesn’t. “This is big money interests using their money to silence their critics,” said Kato on Town Square. “The antidote to speech you don’t like is more speech. But they don’t want to come to the town square. They want to buy the marketplace.” MTW

Lance Collins will not be your typical member of the Liquor Control Board of Adjudication. The Maui County Council hasn’t yet approved his nomination—they have until the end of March, after all—but they also haven’t raised any objections to him. Collins is just 24 years old, which is extremely young considering how county boards and commissions are usually packed with retirees. He’s also highly educated, possessing both a Masters Degree in Political Science and Indigenous Politics and a Juris Doctor law degree. And he’s politically ambitious, which is pretty obvious given his age. In the 2004 election, he lost his bid for the County Council seat representing Kahului to incumbent Joseph Pontanilla by a pretty substantial 10 percentage points. Still, it was his first race. “I have training in the law, Hawaiian history, planning, moral philosophy and epistemology,” Collins wrote on his Board/Commission Application Form. “These skills will permit me to understand issues before the board/commission, situation then in the appropriate historical context and intelligently ask questions and make decisions for the betterment of the community.” Now it’s doubtful most applicants don’t even know what epistemology is. I had to look it up—it’s the study of the origin and limits of human knowledge. The thought that someone schooled in that kind of philosophical inspection would be sitting in judgment of bars and restaurants accused of liquor law violations—is just too delicious to pass up. Of course, he’s also politically astute. “I’ve heard from some people that the board is unfair,” he said. “I’ve heard from other people that the board is fair. I want to be a reasonable person who listens to evidence.” In addition to all that, in 2003 and 2004, while a University of Hawaii student, Collins even wrote a few freelance articles for the Honolulu Weekly. Like Maui Time , the Weekly is a member of the Association of Alternative Newspapers. According to Collins—who said he doesn’t drink—he first read the county liquor laws when he was 17. He had to— he was a member of the County Council subcommittee to update the Maui County Code. He read them again after his nomination. “They haven’t changed much,” he noted dryly.

—Anthony Pignataro

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MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, FEB. 23 Today Mayor Alan Arakawa gave his annual State of the County Address before a big crowd of local officials, bureaucrats and political junkies over at the County Council Chambers in the Kalana O Maui building. He spoke about land development, infrastructure construction, water use and low unemployment instead of what I thought would be hot-button topics like Maui’s monster supply of sunshine, booze and hot chicks. But hey, he’s the mayor and not me. Anyway, it’s hard to believe that Arakawa came into office two years ago amidst hopes that he would chain the doors of the county Planning Department and do everything possible to keep bulldozers from grading any more precious Maui land. Oh, have times changed. “Two years ago, there was talk that my administration’s policies would cause the end of Maui’s economy, and the construction industry, as we have known it,” hizzoner said with plenty of dramatic pauses. “If anyone has driven by Wailuku, or Waikapu, or Kahana Ridge, or Kihei, or Lahaina recently, and seen all the construction going on, it’s plain to see those prophecies were wrong.” Boy, were they ever.

THURSDAY, FEB. 24 Governor Linda Lingle sure digs that old Akaka Bill. Now entering its fifth year of life—such as it is—the brainchild of U.S. Senator Daniel Akaka (D, Hawaii) seeks to grant the same status to Native Hawaiians that Native Americans currently enjoy. And by “enjoy,” I naturally mean, “put up with.” Don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, but Native Americans— those not currently running casinos, that is—aren’t exactly living in Beverly Hills. In any case, the Associated Press report-

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

ed today that Lingle believes passing the bill is required so that the U.S. can, in the AP’s words, “live up to the 1993 apology for its role in overthrowing the Kingdom of Hawaii.” Oh yeah, that’s logical. Um, Lingle remembers that she’s governor of Hawaii, right? And that the State of Hawaii didn’t exist before the overthrow, right? And that if the U.S were really, truly sorry for the overthow, it would cede control of Hawaii to the Hawaiian people, correct? That’s the problem with governmentissued apologies. You see, people tend to want to see actions—like, oh, a total reversal of the overthrow—in addition to the weepy words… Appeared as a phone-in guest on Beth-Ann Kozlovich’s Town Square program, which appears weekly on Hawaii Public Radio. On the subject of the continuing legislative assault on Akaku, the show took a surprisingly large number of callers, all of which praised Maui’s public access cable channel. One of the best was “Ron from Lanai,” who also goes by the title “soon to be retiring Liquor Control Adjudication Board Member Ron McOmber. “I’ve always been so supportive of Akaku,” he said. “It’s so good about having the little guy have his say. This is our only connection to our government.”

Man, the complaints against state Senator J. Kalani English (D, 6th District) just keep piling up. Oh wait, they’re from the same guy—Honolulu resident George Fox. But nothing keeps happening, so Fox keeps complaining. His latest, filed on behalf of the Honolulu-based good government group Citizen Voice, is to the State Ethics Commission. Like the others, it takes exception to English accepting but not publicly disclosing five free flights on Hawaii Air Ambulance in 2002 and 2003 while that company had business pending before the state. I, for one, applaud English’s bold temerity. He’s admitted to taking the flights

“HE’S SO FABULOUS. I HATE HIM.” -Woman talking on her cell phone on Front St. in Lahaina, Feb. 28

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Send resume & samples to: 658 Front Street. #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 fax: 661-0446 email: editor@mauitime.com

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MARCH 3, 2005

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THE WEEK IN REVIEW

Today Ah Fook’s supermarket, which has been located at the Kahului Shopping Center since the 1950s, burned down. The Salvation Army next door, too. The cause of the fire is still under investigation at press time. This leaves exactly one big yet still oldtime family-run grocery store on the island— Wailuku’s Ooka Supermarket—and that’s going to close this summer. I wish I could point out something poignant or significant about it, but really, all that happened was that some good people watched their livelihoods crumble in just a few minutes. A few days ago Mayor Arakawa was saying that times were good on Maui, and now the market’s owners are finished.

MONDAY, FEB. 28 Today a massive suicide bombing attack in the town of Hilla killed 122 people and wounded another 150. It was the largest death toll from a single bomb since we “won” the war. And who says no one in Iraq is making any progress?

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and to keeping them off his disclosure forms, saying that he never considered them gifts. Now this is clearly a guy with can-do spirit, and he’s one of our legislators. I mean, we’re always asking our representatives to “think outside the box,” right? Isn’t all this just him being a bit more creative than the next guy? I say English should be rewarded for his cleverness. And I think that George Fox would agree with me. See right here in his own press release he asks, “How can legislators expect citizens to obey the laws they pass when they don’t come clean about allegations of their own law-breaking?” Legislators who come clean? What kind of magic land does Fox live in? No, seriously, I want to know, because it sounds like a nice place.

SATURDAY, FEB. 26 Yeah, I got nothing today.

I see now this has been a week of bad endings. First the attack on Akaku, then the burning of Ah Fook’s and now, after a heady, glorious, two-year run, the curtain has come down on the Maui Sports & Entertainment Council. You remember the MSEC—they put on the, um, sports and entertainment stuff. And that Russian circus thing—don’t forget that. Seriously, what did these guys do, anyway? Well, it’s too late now to worry about. That’s because a Council press release sent out today says Executive Director Johnny “Bang Bang” Jackson is suffering from Pugilistic Parkinsonism. It’s a degenerative disease that affects former boxers who, well, got hit in the head a lot. The Council’s dissolution also hurts former Maui Mayor James “Kimo” Apana, who for reasons known only to himself, decided that hooking up with Bang Bang’s crew last year was the best way to stage a comeback. Anthony Pignataro knows the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, but can’t decide which one he likes better. MTW Sit on it today, Sleep on it tonight

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NEWSOFTHEWEIRD TSUNAMI BONANZA Some of the well-intentioned donations for victims of the December tsunami are bewilderingly inappropriate, according to a February Wall Street Journal dispatch from Sri Lanka. Relief workers are being distracted by shipments of moisturizing gel, sweaters, women’s dress shoes, Arctic-weather tents, ski jackets and thong underwear. Crucial medicines were in short supply, but not Valium, Viagra, antidepressants or drugs with labels in languages local doctors couldn’t read. As the Journal wrote, some doctors “appear to have unloaded their sample bins.”

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

that she would help Singh with an immigration problem if he would deliver pizza and garlic bread to her campaign headquarters.

FINER POINTS OF LAW In January, a judge in Breda, Netherlands, officially ruled that a 46-year-old bank robber, who stole money worth the equivalent of US$8,400, could only be charged with a crime worth about US$6,100 because the court had to let the man offset the equivalent of US$2,300 that he paid for his gun, as a legitimate business expense.

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGE

A New York City jury in January awarded $450,000 in damages to a professional dancer whose career was ended in 2001 after surgery by Dr. Andrew Feldman at St. Vincent’s Hospital. In a pre-op meeting, the dancer described the discomfort in his right knee, and Dr. Feldman wrote a large “X” on the spot of the pain, but 20 minutes later, he mistakenly cut into the man’s until-then-healthy left knee.

In a December Tampa Tribune feature, local Southern Baptist preacher Tom Rives was profiled in his part-time role as KoKoMo the Clown, enthusiastically delivering uplifting spiritual messages to kids and nontraditional church audiences. Said Rives (who estimates he has trained about 400 people for his clown troupes), “I don’t think (preachers) should be going around with a Bible tucked under their arms and a scowl on their face.” To his critics who say clowning is undignified, Rev. Rives said, “I tell them that all Baptist preachers are clowns. I just went to class and got certified.”

PUBLIC SERVICE

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS

In December, Jean Eaton, mayor of the town of Albert Lea, Minn. (population 18,000), was arrested in what police charged was a spree in which she bought apparel from Marshall Field’s department stores and then affixed their price tags to some older, used garments and “returned” them for refund. Police said a search of her home yielded evidence of tag switches totaling more than $800 in store credit. And in January, Canada’s immigration minister, Judy Sgro, resigned after pizza parlor owner Harjit Singh accused her of reneging on a deal she allegedly proposed:

Northern Ireland’s chief constable told reporters in January that the meticulously executed December robbery of Belfast’s Northern Bank earned the thieves (who the constable believes are Irish Republican Army members) the equivalent of about US$50 million, but that because of a peculiarity of the U.K. banking system, Northern Bank can, and will, legally cancel and replace all the currency that was taken, rendering the stash, in the constable’s words, “the largest theft of waste paper in the history of Northern Ireland.” If the robbers hadn’t taken so much money, the cancellation might not have been a worthwhile option.

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BY CHERYL AMBROZIC-MOOZ

‘So-Called Environmentalists’

PHOTO: SEAN M. HOWER

How did public testimony become a bad thing? These days it’s tough getting residents to speak at or even just attend public hearings. After all, most people work and raise families. And they could do without getting bashed in local papers for merely exercising their constitutionally-guaranteed right to free speech. In a Feb. 20 article on a Maui Advisory Committee meeting that took place three days earlier, Honolulu Advertiser reporter Timothy Hurley did exactly that. He described Maui residents who spoke in opposition to docking the proposed Superferry at Kahului Harbor as “The same dozen environmental activists that helped derail expansion of Kahului Airport.” After conducting an informal reader survey, he reported that 80 percent of the 300 who were questioned felt that these Maui residents were a “Ragtag group of so-called environmentalists, dupes of the air carriers, tug companies and car-rental companies, and people living in the Stone Age.” Harsh words for farmers, corporate executives, entrepreneurs, government officials, Longshoremen, National Park officials, canoe paddlers, surfers, council

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members, teachers and students who take time off from work and home to ask that the state require a thorough environmental review of the proposed Superferry. Remember, the whole reason the governor’s Maui Advisory Committee exists is to collect testimony and comments for residents. Madge Schaefer, the committee chairwoman, has described the committee as “the eyes and ears of the island.” Hawaii Superferry CEO John Garibaldi insists that an Environmental Impact Statement (EIS) is unnecessary because they will only use existing Kahului Harbor docks. At the hearing, Barry Fukunaga, the deputy director of the state’s Harbors Division, agreed, saying approval needed to come quickly or else “the window of opportunity will close rapidly.” This didn’t sit well with people like Mahina Martin of the Hawaiian Canoe Club. “This window of opportunity should not be a limiting picture window or a submarine porthole that’s quickly sinking,” she said. “Let’s make it a window of opportunity to longevity for the next seven generations of Hawaiians. The window of opportunity should have a 360-degree view

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That’s where they want to put the superferry and should always be open.” Another resident, Roger Sussman, listed a whole host of problems. But his main concern was a possible collision between the ferry and humpback whales. He referenced a Feb 6. accident between the Expedition ferry and a whale. “A 330-foot ferry moving at 45 miles per hour is a big invitation for a collision with the mammals,” he said. “Only an EIS will scrutinize the possible negative impacts to Maui County,” said Maui Tropical Orchid Farm owner Jeffrey Parker. “There isn’t enough campgrounds in Maui to support our locals. Where will people camp? What about the people who go inter-island and drive on the back roads picking up seeds and invasive species on the undercarriage of the vehicle or in the tires?” Now Superferry officials said they would

not allow dirty vehicles to board. But they left unsaid how they would conduct car washes. Then committee member Kalei Sombelon wondered aloud why they weren’t building an alien species facility at Kahului Harbor. It is, after all, Maui’s second main portal for invasive species. Later one resident mentioned that Haleakala National Park superintendent Don Reeser has said that the possible spread of invasive species should necessitate a full environmental review. “I don’t know what threat level exists at the harbor,” Fukunaga replied. “Perhaps we can take a look at that.” Could it be possible that he doesn’t know the threat level because there’s been no rigorous Environmental Impact Study? MTW

OPED

BY TED RALL

But Who Watches the Watchdogs? Bloggers and the new McCarthyism Upon hearing that I’d started writing a blog, a Luddite pal asked me to describe this latest new-media phenom. Political bloggers, I explained, link to articles in traditional media. Then they rant and/or rave about them. “Great piece in the Journal.” “The usual crap at CNN.com.” Anyone can write one. You don’t even have to use your real name. “Oh,” he replied. “A blog is like a column without the responsibility.” Bloggers want you to know that there’s a new sheriff in town. Edward Morrissey, writer of the right-wing blog Captain’s Quarters, boasts to The New York Times:

ously out of whack ideological imbalance. Moreover, conservative blogs mirror their mainstream counterparts by applying a far angrier and more violent tone than that of their liberal foes. Here’s a sample of online comments written by Republican bloggers: “Ted Rall should be beat to within an inch of his life with a baseball bat.” “Every morning when I read the paper, I hope the headline will bring me tidings of [Ted Rall’s] untimely demise. Untimely? Nah. Overdue.” “When I flush the toilet, it isn’t considered violence, is it? So killing Ted Rall should be no different.”

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‘TED RALL SHOULD BE BEAT TO WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE WITH A BASEBALL BAT.’ “The media can’t just cover up the truth and expect to get away with it—and journalists can’t just toss around allegations without substantiation and expect people to believe them anymore.” And what are Morrissey’s qualifications to police the media? When he’s not harassing old-school journos like Dan Rather and CNN’s Eason Jordan out of their jobs, Morrissey manages a call center near Minneapolis. As a free speech fan, my initial reaction to the blog explosion—there’s a new one born every 7.4 seconds—was delight. Now anyone with access to a computer can, with the proper string of ideological comrades in cyberspace, call the mainstream media to account. “I think the relation is more symbiotic than parasitic,” writes Glenn Reynolds of the right-wing blog Instapundit. “Bloggers are more like the fish that protect sharks from parasites.” Bloggers, fierce new watchdogs of the fourth estate, claim they’re democratizing American journalism. But once you spend some time surfing this ocean of likeminded righties, you realize the awful truth: the “populist” blogosphere is cowing the mainstream media even further into submission to the powers that be. At a time when simply having a conservative Democrat spar with a conservative Republican is enough to earn the tag “fair and balanced,” the fact is that the political blogs are dominated by the hard right. Such a development might have served as a laudable counterbalance during the 1930s, a period of liberal political hegemony. But when talk radio, cable television news, and all three branches of the federal and most state governments are under the control of the right, the blogger wolf pack merely serves to further ossify a danger-

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Death threats against liberal pundits are commonplace among, and essentially unique to, the right-wing blogs. And the GOP thinks that’s okay. Nowhere can one find a responsible mainstream Republican to speak out against this hate speech. My jaw dropped when gay GOP blogger Andrew Sullivan accused me in 2003 of “urging the murder of American troops in defense of Islamist terrorists.” Of course I’d done no such thing, and he knew it. If I had had the ready cash I would have slapped the lying bastard with a richly deserved libel suit. Incredibly, Time magazine hired Sullivan to write a column. I got off easy compared to Eason Jordan, who lost his job at CNN for claiming—off the air—that “he knew of 12 journalists who were killed by coalition forces in Iraq,” as Congressman Barney Frank quoted him in the Washington Post. And, he claimed, some had been targeted by U.S. forces. In fact, more than 50 war correspondents have been killed in the Iraq war—of whom a portion were apparently shot intentionally by American troops. Two journalists for Al Jazeera were killed in 2003 by U.S. troops firing at Baghdad’s Palestine Hotel, well known to CENTCOM as the main residence for foreign journalists. Two more Al Jazeera journalists reported being tortured by U.S. troops last year. Another has been rotting in the Guantánamo concentration camp since 2001. Eason had the facts right, but the blogger lynch mob howled so loudly that CNN fired him anyway. Bloggers are ordinary people, many of them uneducated and with nothing interesting to say. They’re sitting in their rec rooms, regurgitating and spinning what real journalists have dug up through hard work. They don’t have sources, they don’t report, and no one holds them accountable when they make mistakes or flat out lie. Yeah, there’s a new sheriff in town. Unfortunately he’s drunk, he’s mean, and he works for the bad guys. MTW

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MARCH 3, 2005

9

By Barukh Shalev

Spaceman Sheldan Nidle is our alien ambassador

lic access television Every once in a while
Akaku pub a psychedelic bor on
runs a remarkable show When it’s tiedie colors It with ing puls der dominates the screen
mysterious with ed dott text med features tightly jam aring imminent con symbols and urgent messages decl tact with alien beings ts the sho w He She ldan Nid le of Puk alan i hos s
chosen by an sort of dor assa amb believes that he is an prepare humanity for ancient
extraterrestrial race to our “first contact” seed” Star seeds
he Nidle believes that he is a “star ly children with a simp “are me
to patiently explained who have a spiritual connection with extraterrestrials izations and entities connection with ‘off world’ civil n experiences and as atio Star Seeds have a lot of visit are mostly positive
ch whi ces
rien they have these expe what the world is they connect more and more with really about” happens to be the Nidle’s “off world civilization” just “about  light are him to g Sirians who
accordin nd about four million years away and have been arou like us
only bigger
years” The Sirians “look just big beautifull eyes e hav sevenfooters mostly and and pale skin…” “Pale skin?” mine
” Nidle said
“Yeah
you know
pale skin
like on “They always ecti insp holding out his fleshy arm for  They know them nd arou rgy ene had this wonderful le thing with them was just about everything My who beautiful They taught totally positive and completely Atlantis
they taught ory
me everything—ancient hist me sociology…” trials teach sociolo “Sociology?” I asked “Extraterres ” gy? Isn’t that rather… earthcentric? g to have an Earth goin ’re “Well
um
they figured ‘you hly education” eart an e hav not mission
why should you ing people in the Nidle is short and has trouble look he speaks in a and eye His gaze darts about the room wed him he rvie inte I en clipped
mechanical tone Wh
“UFO’s are said that irt tsh ng fitti was wearing a poorly real The Air Force Doesn’t Exist” hairless arms
a He has an effeminate vibe
with sparse
wispy of d hea a soft
jowly face framed by giving him a
gap t inen prom a hair His teeth have comical appearance cate d In add itio n At the sam e tim e
he’s wel l edu hold s two mas  he ree
to his poli tica l scie nce deg n Gov ern men t
Asia ast the Sou ters deg rees
one in and Inte rna tion al the oth er in Am eric an Poli tics Pub lic Adm inis trat ion Francisco Bay Area Nidle and his wife met in the San first book
called You “At the time
he was writing his Susan told me “I went are a Galactic Human
” his wife Sheldon was talking le to one of his lectures and whi

about the photon be lt
it triggered a remembra nce to my connection to the Star People After the lec ture
I contacted him abou t any assistance I can give in get tin g the me ssa ge ou t Se ve ral ye ars lat er
we began a relationship” Pausing
she looked at her husband affectionate ly
but he was busy examinin g his hand “I had not a clue about the
you know
mean ings of life
” she continued “I was wo rki ng in co rpo rat e Am eri ca
rea din g Co sm o ma ga zin e an d I sta rte d sea rch ing an d I fou nd Sheldan The informati on he ha d jus t cli cke d for me
made sense” Susan Nidle is a manic ured woman with a small frame and a tight face remini scent of a younger Zsa Zsa Gabor In another world
she could be a school administra tor or an aerobics instructor Nidle also has a chi ld
a boy named Narturi “I won’t talk about that
” he sai d But he dedicated both his books to Narturi
whom he clearly loves dearly In Selamat Ja: A Guide for Galactic Humans
publi shed in 
the dedication reads
“This book is dedicated to my son
Narturi Know tha t your father loves you ver y
very much” In another
Yo ur First Contact
Nidle wrote
“This book is lovingly dedica ted to Narturi Soon
my son
we can be together and spend the quality time that we so dearly await Your loving father
Sheldan Nidle” Nidle said his own chi ld hood was painful and wr ought with disappointment “My parents were afraid of me and terribly abusi ve
” he said “I could turn off lights Photo: Sean M. Hower

10

MARCH 3, 2005

COVER STORY

” had these blue balls… with my mind
I always d sai fe wi his s
” an me “Blue balls of light
he e back from the ship
” com uld wo I ver ne he “W hip
I u know
the spaces Nidle continued
“yo fly uld wo he d about it an would tell my father at be d an c oli eah rag was a into these rages He at be a boxer and he would me severely He was do d  and he couldn’t ne tur me good Then I my rs
we po my They feared that to me anymore my s
which
I think saved ian Sir the to on connecti would y the o
int t ge uld life Any trauma I wo heal me”  peared to be in a trance By this point Nidle ap d sai he ll
” he of t sor e “Earth to me became som

whispered “He is talking to the

mother ship”

Seven years ago Nidle founded the Planetary Activation Organiz ation in Pukalani “The Planetary Activation Organiz ation was set up to
first of all
prep are Earth for first contact with the Sirians
” Nidle told me “Second
to spread the message of the galactic federation
and to establish a network of Planetar y Activation Organization groups around the world” The group has a website wwwp aowebcom
which serves as a hea dquarters and clearinghouse for all of Sheldan s books
lectures and products “It’s a very informal organization
” said Susan Nidle “We have coo rdinators in every part of the world Mexico
Germany
France
Australia
New Zealand
somebody in Italy
South Africa… ” “That doesn’t sound like an informa l organization
” I said

Nidle believes he communicates with the “Sirian mothership” through what he calls “non-detectable off-world crystal implants. t the my schoolmates abou “I would try and tell they d an m the th wi p shi Sirians and my relation kids ir the l Parents would tel would get dismissive not to play with me” s
al section of his book In the autobiographic se tho
being shunned by this is a frequent theme ly n be ing mi rac ulo us the aro un d him an d is Th s tor fac ne errestrial be “healed” by his extrat ive: passage is representat ood elements of my childh “One of the strangest ain Ag  use ab nt physical was my father’s consta my on t ou led aw spr dead
and again
I was left for on up in a fetal position led cur or or flo om bedro e tel m Sirian medical tea my bed Promptly the ut sco y arb ne ther ship or ported me up to the mo d to restore me to pris rke wo y the y
ship Furiousl ken s
no bruises
and no bro tine health—no bump in me ld rning
Dad behe bones The next mo nt me aze am s with joyou absolute horror
mixed frightened him” ly ep de saw Still
what he mmunicates with the Nidle believes he co n ough what he calls “no “Sirian mothership” thr  nts pla stal im detectable offworld cry n
” ked up by an MRI sca pic be n eve ’t can “They are ls sta me of these cry he said with pride So ers his head
while the oth in d nte apparently impla my d un aro ing ld
hover “are in my energy fie said once on a public he t tha d sai le Nid head” ship w that “the other access television sho and ad he my field around increased the energy the lady from the ship” p?” I asked “The lady from the shi he Sirian mother ship
” “Yes
you know
the ard tow nd ha d waving his said
glaring at me an ions was asking me quest she ys
wa space “Any y erg en the ce sin t bu m
and I would answer the ! too it
host could hear field was increased
the uld wo I d qu est ion s
an Sh e wo uld ask the d ask the questions
an uld wo she answer them
the ask uld wo she d an I would answer them
st
answer them! The ho uld wo I d an s ion quest er lat He er t was just sup well he thought tha became a supporter” es are talking
he just zon ‘Sometimes
when we ost alm out
” his wife

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“Oh
no
no
” she said “They are all volunteers It’s a selfgoverning mov ement Sheldan provides information thro ugh his books and lectures and give s a weekly update That’s the most importa nt part
the weekly update It com es from the Galactic Federation of Light and the spiritual hierarchy” What’s that? “The Galactic Federation is a unio n of over 
 star nations
star leagues and star confederations
” said Nid le
looking at me like I was an idio t Nidle said that when he was  he asked the Sirians to leave his brai n “I was into science at the time and it was really embarrassing
” he said  “When I was in high school
I had teachers upset at me for asking them abo ut it They couldn’t answer my questions The Russians are just now learning this  The next phase of the quantum is underst anding we live in a conscious univ erse That there is a universe
it is aware of itself and of all the elements that comprise it” At one point in our conversation
Susan Nidle unfurled a giant purp le flag “It’s our symbol
the Ummac Dan
” she said “Yes
” added her husband “‘Ummac dan’ means creation in Sirian” The symbol is purple and gold
Los Angeles Lakersstyle It features a sixpoint ed star beneath a cross with two squiggly lines on either end “The ummac dan is the Galactic Federation of Lights’ emblem for the Sirian Star Nation
” said Nidle “It is disp layed as a revolving D hologram floating above the conference tables It con sists of three parts
each part bein g symbolic of aspects of life The star represen ts the essence of life in creation
the cross rep resents the manifestation of spir it into matter and its inevitable victory over darkness The purple symbolizes God’s holy creation” “People tell us it looks like the symbol for a Jewish basketball team
” said Miriam de Vera
who illustrated several of Nidle’s books For all his visibility
Nidle doesn’t care for the media “People are nice
they want me to be on their radio show s
TV shows
whatever
then it is rip ‘em
shred ‘em
tear ‘em
” he said “The first few times
it stings I was on a radi o show
and the host had all these people who would call and be so mean to me And
you know
after the commercial brea k
they were supposed to be gon e
and new callers would be there
but he kept them there for two commercial breaks I had no defense It hurts
this deceptio n” Whenever I asked Nidle a direct question that he had trouble answ ering
I felt a tinge of pity for him Whenever he would become evasive
his ento urage would look concerned His wife and de Vera urged him to tell the real stor y
but Nidle got touchy when I’d ask somethi ng He clearly preferred to be the one talking In truth
a deep sadness permeate s Nidle’s story He clearly believes in the fan tastic stories he tells He is not a con
some televangelist out fleecing old folks No
he is far less nefarious Man y children have imaginary playmat es growing up Nidle did
too
but never outg rew them In fact
he found out that “galactic extraterrestrials” would save him from a life of mediocrity Withou t them
he’s just a short
fat guy with funny teet h But with them at his side
he beca me a man on a mission He’s our ambassador to space And for the time being
he’s content to appear on our TV sets MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

11

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Eating at the Bar Checking out the ‘grill’ part of the SandBar & Grill I usually don’t let food interfere with my drinking. And though the SandBar has long been one of my favorite watering holes on Maui’s North Shore, I’ve restricted my previous dining experiences there to munching the generous veggie garnishes in an occasional hangover-curing Bloody Mary. But recently they hired culinary wizard Mat Seavey. After he recreated the menu, I put my cocktails aside and gave the “grill” part of the SandBar a go.

Sandbar & Grill

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

Located at 89 Hana Hwy., Paia. Open weekdays from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m.; weekends 8 a.m. to 2 a.m. The full menu is offered until 10 p.m., with pupus available until midnight. Call 579-8742. The reputation of Seavey’s gastronomic inventions has run through Paia like a steadily flowing stream of his famous guava chili dipping sauce. He is quite possibly Upcountry’s best well-kept kitchen secret, frequently brought in to revamp, re-sauce and rectify the sometimes staid menus of smaller but established restaurants. Kula Lodge, Charley’s, Milagros and now the SandBar have all benefited from Seavey’s creative saucery. To sample as many of these delectable sauces as possible, I tried several items on the pupus menu. The natural standout would be the Crispy Ahi Poke Rolls ($8.95) with a tangy-but-creamy-smooth ginger mustard sauce or the glazed Spicy Chicken Skewers ($7.95) with cashew sauce. Even the Grilled Flat Bread

($3.95) that came with a unique, chipotlelime hummus was impressive. But it was the scrumptious Furikake Crusted Crab Cakes ($9.50) and miso-soy aioli that won me over. Hey, coming from San Francisco, I know crab. But this pupu really takes the cake! You know— crab, cake—okay, I’m sorry. But Seavey’s seemingly simple mix of fresh crab, eggs, bread crumbs, celery and peppers forms into a thick patty of moist and tender white seameat that’s seared to a golden crisp. The sauce is downright drinkable. On one occasion, I thought it best to bring along some friends for my new menu tasting extravaganza. The more, the merrier, I thought. Plus, I could steal mouthfuls of their entrees while they discussed pop culture trivia, like what the name of the Brady Bunch dog was (“Tiger”) and the name of the actor who played the dad on Growing Pains (Alan Thicke). Even their entertaining banter about how Mel’s Diner came from Scorsese’s classic Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore didn’t distract my dinner food-thievery, er, research. We dined on Seared Cracked Pepper Ahi ($16.95) with that intoxicating ginger mustard sauce, a surprisingly delectable Baked LemonHerb Chicken Pasta ($14.95) with garlic, tomato, basil and olive oil on a bed of baby spinach and the night’s special—fresh mahi mahi with a cashew basil pesto ($16.95). My favorite was the Char-Broiled Filet Mignon ($21.95), with rosemary port reduction. It was flawlessly cooked the only temp filet mignon should be eaten—medium rare— and was lusciously complemented by a moun-

tain of garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli, all of which fared well with the juicy reduction that surrounded the filet. One of my pals ordered the Maui Wrap ($7.95)—a spinach tortilla stuffed with the tenderest of kalua pork, sweet carmelized Maui Onion, rum-grilled pineapple salsa, fresh spinach, chili sour cream and crunchy cabbage. The salsa was so good, I ordered an extra side of it and didn’t share, which is

unusual for me as I generally have a thing about pineapple. As in, I don’t like it. But apparently, if you grill it with rum and mix it up with tomatoes and onions, it’s absolutely delicious. The SandBar has kept some of its pre-Seavey stand-bys. So don’t worry, your Lobster Tacos ($13.95), Kalua Pork Sandwich ($6.95) and Beer Battered Onion Rings ($4.95) are still around. Of course, there are always those Bloody Mary garnishes. MTW

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CENTRAL MAUI Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877–9001. $ Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. 270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893–0263. $ Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8772400. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Kahului, 893-0026. $ Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $ Café Marc Aurel - Offers an elegantly casual menu, including Gourmet Cheeses, Dolmas, Tzatziki and an extensive wine by the glass list. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao Theatre. 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave, Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. Omelettes, burgers, salads. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 8931628. $ Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 8771414. $$ Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877–7461. $$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977. $$ International House of Pancakes - (IHOP)Open for breakfast, specialty pancakes, sandwiches, along with lunch and dinner entrees. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Kaahumanu Center, 877-5588. Kozo Sushi - Fast food take out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. Sushi platters available. 52 N. Market Place, Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - This place is known all over the world for its warm, tasty glazed doughnuts. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Mama Ding’s Pasteles - This family owned resturant consist of a variety of breads, coconut papaya bread, apple cinnnamon, Puerto Rican sweet bread. Serving breakfast. Open 7 a.m. - 2 p.m.255 Alamaha, Kahului. 877-5796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella. Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 8774446. $$ Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to take five. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS. $

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$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and island spices. 275 Kaahumanu Ave, Queen Kaahumanu Mall, Kahului, 871-7726. $ Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also offer catering. 1900 E. Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the kitchen sink burritos to quesadillas. Casual dining and various piñatas available. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877–8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Old time American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - New location with over 20 years of experience in the food industry. Excellent fresh fish, sushi. Catering and party trays available. Wailuku, 2492420. $ Sandalwood Golf Course Restaurant - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului, 877-0121. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Delicious Pastrys, Savory Pizza, hotdog, ham and cheese pastrys rolls, deli sandwhiches. Open M-Th 7 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. and Fr 7 a.m. - 6:30 p.m Sat 7 a.m - 4p.m. 150 Hana Hwy. Kahului. 893-0700 $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Fast food Chinese with daily specials. All entrees are served with rice or noodles. 70 E Kaaumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, pan fried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market Street, Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Maui’s famous subs since 1990. Coffee, an extensstive list of breakfast bagels, sub Sandwiches and salads. Open M-F 7 - p.m Sat 7-5pm, Sun 7-4pm 395 E. Dairy Rd, 877-8779. Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade corned beef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. 359 N. Markety St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke, open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. Also a Hawaiian menu, kava kava, sushi and oxygen bars. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable take-out seafood, chicken, ribs—all deep fried tempura style or grilled. 1913 S Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service. Trust me--try the Tiramisu. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner with burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods and deli sandwiches. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas and Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free on Monday and Saturday. Fuhgeddaboudit! 1945 S Kihei Rd., 875–0188. $$ Bamboo Chi - Euro, Asian and mediteranean touch.atmosjphere perfect for relazing and conversation. Pupus, Tapa’s and anti-Pasta. Entertainment FriSat in the Wabi-Sabi Lounge. Dinner attire suggested. Open 5 p.m. 100 Wailea Ike Dr, Wailea, 879-4777. $$ Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open daily. 1215 S Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 875-1234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$ Buzz’s Warf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns. Reservations recommended. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel,

A&E

FILM

874--1111.$$ Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224. $$$ Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S Kihei, 879-4799. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner with omelets, burgers, salads. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. $ Enrique’s Resturant - Athentic Mexican Food. Fajitas, Seafood, Shrimp Tequilia Fish Tacos, Enchiladas, Tamales, Burritos, Vegetarian. Open M-Sa 10 am - 9pm Su 10 am - 8pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd 112. 875-2910. $ Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, allday lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Breakfast, lunch, pupus and dinner. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607. $$ Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi. Open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizer and “food for gringos,” too. Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical setting and spectacular ocean views. Featuring fresh

$

200 OFF

ANY POUND OF REGULAR PRICED COFFEE with this coupon. expires 3/31/05

444 Hana Hwy. Kahului Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

877–CUPS

WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

Happy Hour Daily From 2-5 PM

$2.50 Well Drinks $3.50 Margaritas $1.50 Bud Lights Watch Your Favorite Sports On Our New Bar T.V.s

Fridays

2. Mai Tais 16. Prime Rib Nite $

50

Wednesdays

$

SOUTH MAUI

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

95

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Variety Is Our Specialty 2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

13

DININGLISTINGS $→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 8747831. $$$ Humuhumunukunukuapua’a -Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 S Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is a la carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S Kihei Rd., 875–1007. $$ Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $ Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010. $ Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak and lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677. $$$ Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891–8883. $$$ LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a huge bar and open-air deck. 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $ Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243–2206. $$ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for din-

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

ner daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S Kihei Rd., 874–4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, a full service coffee kiosk, fruit smoothies and shakes. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. 2411 S. Kihei Road, Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast served till 3 p.m 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874–1131. $ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879–7224. $$$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679. $ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner (nightly). 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$ Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award-winning cuisine, early bird and late night special. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879–0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875–7555. $$$ Seawatch - Hawaii regional cuisine utilizing the freshest island fish and produce. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m to 3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, Pork, or Seafood, and veggies.

YOUR KITCHEN AWAY FROM HOME HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY! from 12 to 3pm and 9 to11pm $ 2.25 Pizza Slices 2 Bud or Coors Lt Draft Beers $ 3 Well Drinks

$

A TASTE OF LAHAINA WINNER FOR 4 CONSECUTIVE YEARS “BEST VEGETARIAN” “BEST MEAT” “BEST APPETIZER” & “BEST SEAFOOD”

505 FRONT STREET, 661–8112

Mega Touch Games, Pool Table, Jukebox

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

UPCOUNTRY

Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd. #120, 875-8366. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. Oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and the best pizza. Awesome outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. Open 11 a.m. - 2 a.m. serving food 'till midnite! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444 $ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including 1/2 lb burgers and deli sandwhiches with 24 T.V.’s, and a full bar. Open 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0602. $ Sunset Mixed Grill - Local, Japanese and Chinese Cusine. along with some Koren dishes. Entrees come with two side dishes. Open 10 a.m - 9 p.m. BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991.$ Tastings Wine Bar & Grill - Savory & sweet nibbles such as house smoked duck breast on wilted spinach with toasted hazelnuts, grilled whole Moi with jasmine rice & ginger braised bok choy, along with an excellent wine list. Open Tu-Su 5 p.m. 1913 South Kihei Rd. Khei. 879-8711. $$ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Tony Roma’s - Famous for ribs, barbequed chicken and onion ring loaf, along with daily special. 1819 S. Kihei Road, 875-1104. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$ Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific Cusine with a blend of Louisiana Cajun and tropical flare. Open 5-10 pm. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 874-8385. $$ K

Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha’Aina - Ocean front dinning Featuring a delicious chili pork burrito and a large variety of omelets. Island fish, chicken Katsu. Open for breakfast and lunch only Tues - Sat 7a.m. - 2 p.m. Sun 7 a.m. -1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$ Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish, daily special. Open for breakfast and lunch. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave, Makawao 572-4877. $ Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572–0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940’s style urban bistro serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere with food from Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-winning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572–2666. $

Pulehu BBQ Shack ‘Word Finder’ Find these 20 words created from the letters in

‘PULEHU SHACK’

Pulehu

BBQ Shack

TAKE OUT BBQ & CATERING 1500-A Lower Main St., Wailuku

244-4049

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

C_ _ _ _ P_ _ _ _ P_ _ _ P_ _ _ _ P_ _ _ U_ _ C_ _ _ C_ _ _ _ L_ _ _ K_ _ _

11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20.

S_ _ _ _ S_ _ _ _ A_ _ A_ _ _ A_ _ P_ _ _ H_ _ _ H_ _ _ H_ _ _ P_ _ _

1. CHAPS, 2. PULSE, 3. PACK, 4. PLUSH, 5. PLUS, 6. USE, 7. CASH, 8. CLUES, 9. CAKE, 10. KALE, 11. SHAPE, 12. SLACK, 13. ACE, 14. ACHE, 15. ASH, 16. PECK, 17. HACK, 18. HELP, 19. HUSH, 20. PUSH

PRICE GUIDE

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG

Homemade Italian Cuisine

opopopopopopopopop

NIGHTLY SPECIALS

Made from Scratch Ravioli Lasagna Meatballs Osso Buco Tiramisu

874-TACOS

1279 S. Kihei Rd. (Next to Bank of Hawaii) Azeka Mauka

BUY 1 ENTREE GET SECOND ENTREE

Open Tuesdays thru Sundays 5pm - 9pm

1215 S. Kihei Rd. (Long’s Ctr.) • 875-8800

14

MARCH 3, 2005

DINING

HALF PRICE! Must present coupon. Not good with other offers. Good from 3-9pm. Expires 3/31/05

MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $18.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $19.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $16.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6 $3.00 TROPICALS / WELLS $3.25 BUD-BUD LIGHT-COORS LIGHT $1.00 FRESH OYSTER SHOOTERS DOLLAR DOUBLE ALL DAY

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

15

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-toorder fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining. 120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia, 579–8844. $$ Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked artichoke. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-5653. $$$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 5755228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu and teriyaki all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and din-

“WHO HAS

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

ner. Open Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$ Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448. $$$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 5732998. $ Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily special. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–9999. $

SAID A GREAT MEAL TO BE EXPENSIVE ”

Chef Mark Ellman’s

Beer & Wine Pastas, Salads, Pizzas, Sandwiches and Nightly Seafood Specials with nothing over $12.95 We now have Brown Rice Pasta! Wheat & Gluten Free! 50¢ extra / Cooked to order so it takes a few minutes longer

661-6633 • 180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina 16

MARCH 3, 2005

DINING

Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 2A Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–8030. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.- 2:30 p.m. 375 West Kuiaha Road Unit 37 Haiku. 575-9242 $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742. $ Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and patries around, along with delicious salads, quiches and Gyro’s with a variety of teas. open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. 810 Kokomo Road, Haiku Market Place. 575-9588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

WEST MAUI A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines. Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center, 667–0623. $ Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, deep fried tempura style or grilled. Great food great prices. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more. Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily special. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ K Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. Come in for the ambience, stay for the delightful dining experience. 2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali, 662-3210. $$ BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. Overlooking Lahaina Town with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491. $$ Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600. $$ K Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - Classic baskets of fish and chips. Open daily. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. Mexican food beyond the border. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L.

EMPLOYEE OF THE

WEEK A S T O L D T O K E L LY C H A M B E R S

Marife Bato Server, Sushi Go

I grew up in the Philippines and moved here when I was 15. The biggest difference between Maui and there is the fresh air over here because I lived in the city of Manila. And the people are a lot nicer, more open-minded. Over here, you walk by people and they say “morning” or smile. People don’t do that in the city. I really like it better here. So when I was 16, I got pregnant. I didn’t want my parents to know so I moved to Las Vegas for a year. I loved the lights, and how it’s full of life. I miss it sometimes, but I’ve seen the dead parts of Vegas. The roads home were always the dark parts. So when I came back home to my parents a year later—Surprise! I had a son. But they loved him right away. He keeps us full-handed, always running around, and he loves to scream. Still, I’d like to have another one by the time I turn 30. I’ve been at Sushi Go for three months. I’m being promoted, too! It’s like my second home. Work keeps me out of trouble and I love it here. I love the management, I love the people. I love to smile at customers and they smile when I help them. It’s nice. I went to a sushi place on Oahu. The service was all guys and they just gave us the food. They didn’t go out of their way. I can’t even remember if they smiled. But I love sushi. I eat it everyday—especially the spicy tuna. My son loves sushi, too. If I’m not working, I’m sleeping. I like to sleep at least 10 hours day. It relaxes me. I used to go to the beach. I have the swimsuits but I don’t know how to swim. I almost drowned a couple of times. I’ve given up. But I’ve always wanted to try windsurfing, but no, that’s not safe. I don’t really have any special talents. Just working, smiling and sleeping. MTW

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods like Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more. Open daily. 2580 Kekaa Dr., Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648. Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908. $ K Curry- In-A-Hurry - Curry dishes that are delightful and delicious in alternative vegetarian eating. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-3328. Open Tu-Sa. 11:30am-7:30pm. 840 Wahinee St. Lahaina Square. 661-4370. $ David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi—great steamers! Open nightly with live entertainment. Half off Sushi Sundays. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina, 662-8780. $$ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesian sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific islands. 505 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere and beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old-Hawaiian styled coffeehouse with pastries, smoothies, salads and sandwiches, quiche Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lovers delight. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661–8422. $$$ Island Tacos - The best soft shell tacos ever. Choice of beef, fish, pork or chicken. Served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese. onions and jalapenos. Open Late night. 744 Luakini St. Lahaina $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, lounge ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 6670787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table. 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs And they

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

deliver. Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path surf bistro. Good food, good quality, late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s signature Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. Dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Mon-Sun 612 Front St. Lahaina 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288. $$$ Ma La - Ocean front dinning Organic whole grains cusine, from clams, lobster soup, to chicken tikka, beet & goat cheese salads.Full bar 1307 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 am - 10 pm. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-1929. $$ K Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the Islands. 840 Wainee Street 661-8883 Lahaina (and Napili) 5095 Napilihau. $ Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials, merry atmosphere and a large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7758. $ Mr. Sub Sandwiches - Speciality sandwiches made to order, with salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast. Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662–0890. $ Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizer, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667–1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper mahi mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Casual poolside dining. Now featuring reasonably priced tapas-Hawiian style menu.for supper and late night dining. 6:30 am10pm.The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-onthe-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 6651822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633. $ Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. Open 7 days a week. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $ Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pad Thai - Delicious Påd Thai, among many other items. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina, $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, tossto-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; $ Plantation House Restaurant - HawaiianMediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $ Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 pm 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 $$$ Roy’s Bar & Grill - This fine dinning restaurant has mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30p.m.10p.m.4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. Kahana 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali,

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

661–3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawaii’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669–6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669–1500. $$ Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken, sandwiches and hamburgers along with a full bar. Open 11:30 a.m. - 10 p.m. 927 Wainee St. Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private and the Antipasto serves two. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Take Sushi - Open late night for late night sushi lovers. Full menu and daily special. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffet-style rotating menu ranging from “Breakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.” Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814. $ Tropica - Oceanfront dining on Ka’anapali Beach, features sizzling steaks, fresh fish, prepared in variety of styles. Specialty entrees, appetizers and deserts. 5:309:30pm. Westin, Kaanapali, 667–2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and an extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open 7 Days. Delivery 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. 840 Wainee St. Lahaina Square, Lahaina. 6616773.$

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

17

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MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE

MARCH

SUNDAY

6

WILLIE K 13

WILLIE K

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

3

4

5

JOE CANO TRIBUTE TO SANTANA

MIDNIGHT LOUNGE

VAIHI

9

10

11

12

7

8

INDUSTRIAL NIGHT LOUNGE $2 DRINKS

NO COVER

$3 CORONA $3 MARGARITA

LIVE BLUES

JOE CANO TRIBUTE TO SANTANA

MIDNIGHT LOUNGE

MALINO

14

15

16

17

18

19

INDUSTRIAL NIGHT LOUNGE $2 DRINKS

NO COVER

LIVE BLUES

JOE CANO TRIBUTE TO SANTANA

MIDNIGHT LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

$3 CORONA $3 MARGARITA

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY

80’s Industry Night - $2 Wells / Shots No Cover Night - $3 Coronas / Margaritas / Surf Shorts & Bikini Tops are the Dress Code Blues Night - Presented by Rockstar Joe Cano ‘Tribute to Santana’ DJ Heat - ‘Midnight Lounge’ Featuring Hawaii’s Top Local Bands / Long Island Iced Teas $5 Uncle Willy K Night - All Star Jam Sessions / $3 Hinanos

CHECK PARADICEBLUZ.COM FOR CALENDAR UPDATES

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com 18

MARCH 3, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

Being Ocean Minded Saturday, 9:30 a.m. at Windmills, between Honolua Bay and Honokohou [ENVIRONMENTAL] Whether you surf, swim, snorkel, fish, work in the boating industry or simply admire the beauty and power of the ocean that surrounds us, you cannot deny the impact it has on your life. Ocean Minded is an organization that wants to support the ocean and our beaches by way of a community. beach clean up. Join them this weekend at one of the most beautiful shorelines and surf spots in the world as you do your part in making sure our beaches stay beautiful. For more information on Ocean Minded, visit. www.oceanminded.com. [SAMANTHA CAMPOS]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 661-0446 LETTERS

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SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

19

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS by Samantha Campos

Funny Guy

The Return of Crazy Fingers

Friday, 5:30 p.m. at Borders; 8 p.m. at Maui Beach Hotel [COMEDY] Augie T. is a popular comedian and radio personality who has successfully worked the local comedy circuit for the past nine years. He has won two Na Hoku Hanohano Awards, a Hawaii Music Award, Pacific Business News’ “40 Under 40” Award, the title of “Favorite Comedian” from the Honolulu Weekly and in 2002 was named “Comedian of the Year” by Midweek and the Honolulu StarBulletin. His performance this week at the Maui Beach Hotel sold out quickly, but if you want the next best thing, you can check out another of his sold-out comedic gigs in his live DVD called “Augie T. LIVE at Hawaii Theatre.” You can also meet Augie at Borders Books & Music in Kahului, pre-show, as he signs autographs and, I don’t know, maybe does something you would expect a funny guy to do. Whatever that is.

Saturday, 10 p.m. at the SandBar [MUSIC] He’s baaaack! Sam, the charismatic former co-head of Crazy Fingers is back in the saddle again and ready to whip the funkloving crowd of the SandBar into a frenzy, as only he can. Are you ready for this? You know you haven’t seen ‘em in a while… I think it’s time!

Waves and Music Saturday, 9 p.m. at LiveWire Café, Lahaina [ART] “Wild Waters” is an exhibition of works by surf artists Michele Maldini, Jimbo Welch, Amen Hughes and Silus Thompson. It coincides with LiveWire Café’s grand opening on the West Side. But more importantly, it is also another reason to party, party, party! As if we needed one. The art opening will also feature DJ El Gatto with his global dance grooves, so expect a lot of the beautiful people of Maui’s North Shore. Admission is $5.

THURSDAY

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

FRIDAY, MAR 4TH

HIP-HOP ISLAND CHAIN TOUR

891-MEXI

SHARK HIP IN THE ISLAN OP WATER H D CHA IN TO UR

FLAVA

ZONE TDEAANCE THE SEXIEST DANCE PARTY ON MAUI!

HIP HOP HOUSE R&B OLD SCHOOL IN THE MIX

CLUB 98.3 LIVE

20

MARCH 3, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

ALOHA SIN NIGHT!

WITH

$2 DRINKS until Midnight! w/ DJ Fat Jo

TUESDAYS

4pm-close

All Domestic Beers & Wells 4-5pm $2 Drinks 5-6pm $3 Drinks 6-7pm $4 Drinks

ULTRA FAB Grammy Nominee

Willie K

FAT JO

Musical Poetry… or Poetic Music? Sunday, 7 p.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku [POETRY/MUSIC] Jami Sieber is an electric cellist who accompanies Kim Rosen’s spoken poetry to form what they call “an alchemical interplay of poetry and music that opens the mind and invokes the unsayable.” Hunh, I’m speechless already! But it does sound intriguing, doesn’t it? “Dance When You’re Broken Open” is their poetry concert that features the works of Mary Oliver, Emily Dickinson, Eve Ensler, Lalla, Anna Akhmatova, R. M. Rilke, and Rumi spoken by Rosen, along with the original music of Sieber. Tickets: $15 in advance or $18 at the door. For more info, call The Studio Maui at 575-9390 or Marsha at 876-1650.

Wednesday, 7 p.m. at the Cameron Center in Wailuku [LECTURE] Erik Marcus is the type of man you might expect to run into while wandering the streets of Paia. Full of ideas and out to make a difference. Marcus enjoys spending quality time with his pet cat, Conrad, and saving the lives of animals by simply encouraging others not to eat them. Marcus began living a vegan lifestyle in 1988 during his third year of college. That’s when he first saw footage taken inside a slaughterhouse. Since then he has written two books: Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating, and his most recent publication Meat Market: Animals, Ethics, and Money. In addition to writing, Marcus also travels around the U.S. speaking in different cities about animal cruelty and the friendly ways of the vegan diet, which is why he’s coming here. Admission is free and refreshments will be provided. Just please leave your fur coats at home. [MORGAN LORENZANA]

Victoria Barrett Tuesday, 9:30 p.m. at the SandBar, Paia [MUSIC] This lovely songstress is making her debut. Not only does she have a silky new CD that’s been haunting Borders Books & Music shoppers as it’s flowed melodiously from the overhead speakers for the past few weeks, but she’s also by throwing a fabulous free CD Release Party. We love those! This one’s featuring special music-type guests Kanoa from Gomega, Erik James of the Downsideup Band, as well as Ian and Hans from Khrinj. Not too bad for a chick, eh? You can also check her out at www.victoriabarrett.com.

DAY

Talking About Animal Cruelty

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

IN

THE

H EART

OF

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT ! T E T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

HE

“B EST L ATE N IGHT I N M AUI ”

WARD

MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER 5TH H C R A M ., T SA

TH

4 FRI., MARCH

IX M S A G R O X AUI) I (M P EV K O R T U) & DJ HEAVY A H (O J L IE N dancers DJ DA es and go go Soulful Groov STARTS @ 9:45PM

H S U R N E D D SU PARTY! DA

S @ 9:45PM MUSIC START VER CO 00 $10.

MUSIC $10.00 COVER

SUNDAY CH 6TH AR ITH NOONAM AFTERSU USTIC STYLE W O C NDAYS

UPCOUNTRY

NHN O M Y LENA L L I B JO LE TI & MIDD STEVE SURG S @ 2:00PM MUSIC START VER $10.00 CO

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com LETTERS

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DAY&NIGHT

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

21

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

It’s Okay to be Cool Get Shorty sequel fills the bill Leonard’s effortlessly hip style while watching Self-mocking jokes prevail in F. Gary cliché characters make asses of one another. F. Gray’s feisty cinematic version of Elmore Gary Gray (The Italian Job) understands the Leonard’s irreverent Los Angeles based devil of comedy in the details and dutifully novel. This sequel to the popular movie underscores physical pop culture references version of Leonard’s 1995 Get Shorty that strike audience funny bones. delves further into the mystique of Chili For example, we get an obligatory Palmer (John Travolta), a man who seamGoodfellas camera lessly went from angle from inside a car being a thug shytrunk looking out at lock to a slick film Raji and Elliot after producer and now they’ve thrown in a to being a music Rated PG-13/114 mins. fresh corpse. The fact business kingpin. that pimp poseur Raji After Russian is a slang-talking white guy who dresses in mob bullets interrupt a meeting between bling bling and bright colors adds to the susChili and music mogul Tommy Athens tained loopyness of the movie’s riotous tone. (James Woods) Chili discovers promising The good-natured Dwayne “The Rock” singer Linda Moon (Christina Milan) and Johnson plays along with frivolous public teams up with Athens’ widow Edie (Uma rumors of his alleged homosexuality by playThurman) to steal Linda away from her ing Raji’s bodyguard Elliot as a gay aspiring manager Raji (Vince Vaughn) and record actor who auditions for Chili at one point by producer Nick Carr (Harvey Keitel). doing a scene between two female characters Contracts on Chili’s head pile up between from the movie Bring It On. Elliot goes so far competing factions as his plan for Linda’s as to show Chili a music video of himself musical success takes shape with the help singing Loretta Young’s “You Ain’t Woman of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler (as himself). Enough (To Take My Man)” while wearing a To enjoy Be Cool is to revel in the purred cowboy outfit. posefully hit-and-miss slang of Elmore

Be Cool

★★★★★

FI WENA EK L !

Smokin’! Chili takes the situation in stride and advises Elliott to stick to monologues by male characters and to sing songs from a male perspective. It’s probably not advice that Elliott will follow since he, like most of the other characters in the movie, are engrossed in pretending they’re something that they’re not. Physical burlesque hits a peak when Chili comes home to find the corpse of a would-be assassin sitting at his dinner table. When Chili pushes the limp body back into the chair, the poor guy’s chin hangs on the table so that his inert face stares out at the camera while Chili goes about his business. In a David Lynch movie the same scene would be thick with foreboding, but here it works like a Monty Python skit that gets funnier as it goes on. Be Cool is a very different movie from Get Shorty because the mix of chemistry here is of a younger ilk. It has more self-aware sensibility that acknowledges the slimy under-

belly of the music industry. Julie Moon’s oh-so-soulful self-written songs drip with sentimentality before being wrapped in a generic pop sound that Chili’s producer adds an “edgy blues guitar” to make it sell. Ironically, it’s this area of tangible music where the movie derails because it takes itself too seriously toward being convincing about Julie Moon’s tilt at stardom. When Chili tells Steven Tyler his thoughts on Tyler’s personal subtext for Aerosmith’s song “Sweet Emotion” the movie comes to a guffaw inducing halt. This isn’t exactly an Elvis Costello song they’re discussing and even if it were that would still be no excuse for addressing an arcane topic about what Costello was thinking when he wrote it. These Tarantinoinspired dialogue scenes are thankfully few and cancelled out by Raji’s and Elliott’s over-thetop antics that continuously pull the action into a slapstick orbit of ridicule. MTW

My god, is that The Rock?!

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MARCH 3, 2005

FILM

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA Wednesday March 09

Castle Theater, 572-3456 Primer - PG - Wed 5, 7:30

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Primer 5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater

Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Are We There Yet? - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:45, 5), 7:05, 9:25, Sa-Su (12:35), 5:15, 9:55

Esquire magazine raved “The headiest, most singular science-fiction movie since Kubrick made 2001.” This winner of the Sundance Film Festival’s Dramatic Grand Jury Prize reunites physics and metaphysics (for all of you What the Bleep fans out there) in the guise of a mindbender about two techies who accidentally design a machine with the unintended capability of providing them with anything and everything they desire. Not bad! Where can I buy one? "Fascinating and completely successful" raved Roger Ebert. Premiere magazine enthused: "One of the most inventive films ever made for pennies on the Hollywood dollar." Rated PG-13. 88 min.

Constantine - R - Th-Fr, M-W (1, 1:20, 3:15, 4, 4:20), 6:50, 7:10, 7:50, 9:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (1, 1:20, 3:15), 4, 4:20, 6:50, 7:10, 7:50, 9:30, 9:45 Cursed - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 12:50, 2:50, 3:10, 5, 5:30), 7:30, 7:45, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 12:50, 2:50, 3:10), 5, 5:30, 7:30, 7:45, 9:45, 10 Dream Boy - NR - Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:05, 9:25, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:45, 5), 7:05, 9:25 Hitch - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:45, 1:10, 1:30, 3:30, 4:10, 4:30), 7, 7:20, 8, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:45, 1:10, 1:30, 3:30), 4:10, 4:30, 7, 7:20, 8, 9:45, 10

New This Week

Pooh’s Heffalump Movie - G - Th only (12:55)

BE COOL – (PG13) – Crime/Comedy – In this long-awaited sequel to Get Shorty, debt collectorturned movie producer Chili Palmer (John Travolta) turns into a music producer and decides to promote a struggling singer who’s also being chased by the Russian Mafya. Also stars Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Danny DeVito and the rest. See Film Critique.

Sideways - R - Th-Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 6:55, 9:40, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 6:55, 9:40

DREAMBOY - (NR) - Animation - Dreamboy and his friends make up one of the funniest and most interesting casts of animated characters ever to come out of a computer. Join them as they travel from outer space to the wild west--sure, why not. And there’s plenty of politically incorrect humor and cutting-edge computer animation. For ages 17 and up.

KA’AHUMANU 6

Racing Stripes - PG - Daily (12:35)

THE JACKET -– (R) – Crime/Thriller, Drama, Romance – After a vet returns home to Vermont with amnesia, he ends up accused of murder. So they toss him into an asylum, pump him full of dope, wrap him in a straitjacket and then lock him in a morgue drawer. While inside, he then travels four days into the future and he sees himself get killed by an unknown assailant. Could happen. Really. Stars Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, Kris Kristofferson and Jennifer Jason Leigh. THE PACIFIER – (PG) – Action/Adventure, Comedy, Family – Vin Diesel stars as some Navy SEAL guy who has to protect—and baby-sit—five wild kids from the same killers who bumped off their scientist parent. Get it? He gets to take out the trash—both literally and figuratively! Who comes up with this stuff?

Now Showing ARE WE THERE YET? – (PG) – Romantic Comedy – Ice Cube stars in this light-hearted look at how a swinging bachelor takes his girlfriend’s kids on a road trip to impress her, but finds that they really only want to turn his life into a living hell. How do they come up with this stuff? BECAUSE OF WINN DIXIE – (PG) – Drama – A lonely little girl adopts a dog, which not only helps her make friends but also helps her get closer to her father and helps brings together a small Florida town. Oh, and Dave Matthews is in it. Yeah. I hate movies like this. CONSTANTINE – (R) – Action-Adventure, Suspense, Horror and Thriller – As our astute intern put it, this film looks like a cross between The Matrix and Devil’s Advocate. We love that good vs. evil, Heaven vs. Hell stuff! Plus, it’s got beautiful Kauai-boy Keanu Reeves playing the tortured investigator of supernatural mysteries and hottie Rachel Weisz as... well, who cares. CURSED – (PG13) – Action/Adventure, Suspense/Horror – What’s up with this sudden rash of popular actors and actresses trying to get in on the latest horror flick? Aren’t they supposed to leave that to the B-Listers?! This one’s starring Christina Ricci, some werewolves and an ancient curse, of course. Man, this better be good. Also stars James Brolin and Portia De Rossi. DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN – (PG13) – Comedy/Drama – Long story short:

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Son of the Mask - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (12:45, 3, 5:20), 7:40, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:45, 3), 5:20, 7:40, 9:50 Wedding Date - PG13 - Th (2:55, 5:15), 7:35, 9:55, Fr, M-W (2:55), 7:35 Sa-Su (2:55), 7:35

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Because of Winn-Dixie - PG - Daily (12:30, 2:50), 5:10 Be Cool - PG13 - Fr-W (1:15), 4:45, 7:20, 9:55 Diary of a Mad Black Woman - PG13 - Daily 7:20, 9:45

Pillow talk with Adrien Brody and Keira Knightly in The Jacket Successful black couple lives in Atlanta for years, until husband kicks wife out of their beautiful house on their 18th wedding anniversary. Wife then learns to take control of her own life. This movie also features a “potsmoking, gun-toting” grandmother figure, which practically guarantees that it’s good. HITCH – (PG13) – Romantic Comedy – Will Smith plays a matchmaker who uses less than honest methods in his work—whahhhhh???!?!—and then gets busted by a totally hot undercover reporter played by Eva Mendes. Oh, and there’s a chick in the movie named after a popular antihistamine. HOTEL RWANDA – (PG13) – Drama – Intense movie based on the 1994 genocide that gripped Rwanda. It concerns about a small-time hotel manager (Don Cheadle) provides sanctuary to terrified residents as roving gangs slaughter thousands. The PG13 rating means they’ve probably toned down the hacking. MAN OF THE HOUSE – (PG) – Action-Adventure, Comedy – Tommy Lee Jones, an actor with supposedly the IQ of a genius, plays a Texas Ranger (?!) who is assigned to protect some witnesses to a high-profile murder. Uh huh. So he has to go undercover as an assistant cheerleading coach and move in with a group of University of Texas cheerleaders. All right! That IS genius!!

The Jacket - R - (12:30, 2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:50

SIDEWAYS – (R) – Comedy, Drama – This could be your typical road-tripping buddy flick, only the “buddies” in question are Miles (Paul Giamatti)—a downand-out failed novelist, middle school teacher and bitter divorcee but apt wine connoisseur—and his happygo-lucky friend Jack (Thomas Hayden Church), who has his own devious agenda for their big “wine tasting trip” before he gets married the following weekend. Also stars Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh. SON OF THE MASK – (PG) – Action-Adventure, Comedy – I know it’s premature to say something like this, but I think this will be the best movie of 2005. Maybe of the whole decade. I mean, you had The Mask, and that was kind of funny, but this is about The Mask’s son! And it stars Jamie Kennedy! I didn’t think he could ever top Malibu’s Most Wanted, but this one sure looks like a winner. WEDDING DATE – (PG13) – Romantic Comedy – This film concerns a young woman who hires a gigolo to accompany her to her sister’s nuptials. See, her exboyfriend is going to be there, and she needs to make him jealous so, um, I don’t know. Really, what the hell am I doing writing about this? There are people dying in Sudan, and I’m boosting some junk film that stars no one anyone should be concerned about.

Man of the House - PG13 - Daily (12:40, 3), 5:15, 7:40, 10 Million Dollar Baby - PG13 - Daily (1), 4:10, 7:05, 10 The Pacifier - PG - Fr-W (12:35, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910

[Thursday schedule not available at press time] Because of Winn-Dixie - PG - Th (1:30), 4:45, 7:30 Be Cool - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45, SuW (1:15), 4:30, 7:15 Constantine - R - Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:30, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7 Hitch - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, 9:55, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 7:30 The Pacifier - PG - Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:45, 9:50, SuW (1:45), 5, 7:45

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Be Cool - PG13 - Fr, M-W (4), 7, 9:40, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:40 Constantine - R - Th (4:45), 7:20, 9:50, Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 9:50, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:50

MILLION DOLLAR BABY – (PG 13) – Romantic Drama – This Oscar-nominated film is getting rave reviews, but it’s really just another cliché-filled picture about a young boxer who’s had a tough life but, through sheer force of will, fights the good fight. Stars Hillary Swank, Morgan Freeman and Clint Eastwood, who also directed it.

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Cursed - PG13 - Th (4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Fr, M-W (4:45), 7:40, 9:40, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:40, 9:40 Man of the House - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (4:30), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:45 Son of the Mask - PG - Th only (4:45), 7:40, 9:50

POOH’S HEFFALUMP MOVIE – (G) – Children, Animation - Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo and Tigger, too! search for the mysterious Heffalump, learning about friendship and accepting others’ differences along the way.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

RACING STRIPES – (PG13) – Comedy, Drama, Kids/Family – A traveling circus accidentally leaves behind a baby zebra—I know, it happens all the time— so then the precocious zebra gets the inclination to become a racetrack-star, with a little help from his farm animal friends... Okay, is it just me or does it sound like somebody had a few too many special brownies when they came up with this screenplay?

Diary of a Mad Black Woman - PG13 - Th (1:30, 4:15), 7, 9:45, Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:30), 7:30, 9:55, SaSu (11:15, 1:45), 4:30, 7:30, 9:55

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

658 Front Street, 249–2222 Because of Winn-Dixie - PG - Th only (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50

WED, MAR 9 *with MFF passport (5 films-$40)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

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CLASSIFIEDS

Hitch - PG13 - Th (2, 4:45), 7:30, 10:05, Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:50, Sa-Su (10:45, 1:30), 4:15, 7:15, 9:50 The Pacifier - PG - Fr, M-W (1:15, 4), 7, 9:15

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

23

Environmentally Aware Front Street’s

One Of A Kind

Shopping Nook!

Come Visit Us Jewelry • Tattoos • Activities Snorkel Gear • Fashion Art • Time Shares

• Chadwick Hawaii Jewelers • Watch-n-See • Lahaina Ticket Co. • Manta Ray Snorkel Dive Tropical Toes • Air Brush Tattoo Timeshare Re-Sale • Temporary Tattoos Maui Dukes Shave Ice & Ice Cream

815-819 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 24

MARCH 3, 2005

DAY&NIGHT

• 100% Recycled Newsprint Paper • Soy Based Dye Ink • Biodiesel Delivery

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

‘A Cover Band in Reverse’

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes do it the hard way In 1995, a bunch of accomplished punk and rock musicians from bands like NOFX and the Foo Fighters decided to have a little fun with a side project. Me First & The Gimme Gimmes became their cover band idea and a chance to play some classic faves unabashedly and in their requisite punk style, with no pressure to write original songs or even, as they say, “be good.” But the monster they created turned into a series of successful, witty and entirely good albums. They started with Have a Ball, which covers tunes from the 1970s and ‘80s like John Denver’s “Leaving on a Jet Plane,” Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” and Barry Manilow’s “Mandy.” They followed it up with a musicals album called Are a Drag, covering Evita’s “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina,” Sound of Music’s “Favorite Things” and Annie’s “Tomorrow.” Next came their ‘60s tribute album, Blow in the Wind, and their ‘90s record, Take a Break. Last year, they came out with their first concept album and videotaped it, calling it Ruin Jonny’s Bar Mitzvah. It features the band in an actual bar mitzvah, playing an eclectic mix of covers in classic baby blue tuxes and is, as you can imagine, hilarious. Recently, I talked with singer Spike Slawson, whose main gig is playing bass for cow punk band, the Swingin’ Utters.

Maui Time: Is this your first time playing on Maui? Spike Slawson: Last time we played on Maui was four or five years ago at this really weird bar in Lahaina and at this children’s auditorium. There was a play set—a little house with a window on stage with us. Yeah, and I know it was Lahaina ‘cause there were people beating each other up. What’s your favorite cover to do? “Over the Rainbow.” What’s the most difficult for you to sing? “End of the Road.” It’s kind of a stretch, there’s some really high notes. I don’t know if I do the song justice. Most requested? It varies. Usually, it’s whatever song we haven’t played yet, three-quarters of the way into the set. How often do you play in your hometown, San Francisco? Not as often as you’d think. The last time we played was for a benefit for this guy who was running for mayor. He didn’t win. I wish we would play here [SF] more often though. We coordinate these big tours, but can’t seem to do the local shows. Everybody’s so busy.

Thursday-Friday, 10 p.m. at the Hard Rock Café. Tickets: $15. Call 667-7400. Any changes in the lineup for the Maui shows? Same line-up, same deal. But you know, we’re more of an idea than a band. Any concept albums planned for the future? No. I liked the bar mitzvah thing. We’re imposing enough limitations—we’re already limited as a five-piece punk band without doing specific genres. I’d like to do another event and film it, like the Bar Mitzvah [album]. Nobody believes it until they see it. We fucked up a bunch of songs on the record. Some we played three times to get it right. If we had faked it, we would’ve had to do a lot more work, Google the Hebrew speech and stuff. And we wanted to be able to prove it. We’re a cover band in reverse! We started playing rock venues, now we play weddings and bar mitzvahs. Do you have any tips for the kids on how to be a punk rock cover band? Hmm… I’m trying to think of what we do and then say the opposite... Um, practice a lot. Be very thoughtful, creative and original. Take it very seriously and make sure other people take you very seriously, too. Get all the parts right so it sounds exactly like the original. And try ragtime covers. There. That should eliminate any Hawaiian competition! MTW

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‘More of an idea than a band’

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DINING

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

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thursday

03/03

BADA BING

friday 03/04

saturday03/05 sunday03/06

monday03/07 – wednesday03/09

Pono Players, Comedy Improv $15, 8pm

1945 S Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

BLUE LAGOON

TUE - Carroll Brothers, No cover, 7-10pm

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8141

BOCALINO

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza $5,10pm

Gina Martinelli Band $5, 10pm

DJ Shark in the Water No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, 10pm; TUE - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata, 10pm; WED - Duane Feip & Friends, 10pm, No cover

CASANOVA

Progressive Thursdays $5, 9pm

Tropix Orgasmix $10, 9:45pm

Sudden Rush $10, 9:45pm

Acoustic Sundays $7 donation, 2pm

WED - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm

Sirus B Posse 9:30

The Easy & John Moore Project 9:30pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Mon - Kanoa, 9:30pm Wed - Sunn Lounge, 10pm

DA KINECALENDAR
BIG SHOWS
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Thursday (tonight!) and Friday. Drawn together by a mutual love of '60s and '70s music, the Gimme Gimmes work exclusively as a cover band. Their repertoire includes songs from such acts as Neil Diamond, Billy Joel and John Denver. Drawing in the talents of Swingin’ Utters bassist Spike Slawson, NOFX bassist Fat Mike, Lagwagon singer Joey Cape, Foo Fighters guitarist Chris Shiflett and Lagwagon drummer Dave Raun. Tickets: $15. 9:30 p.m., Hard Rock Cafe, Lahaina 6677400. St. Petersburg String Quartet with Paul GalbraIth Thursday (tonight!). The St. Petersburg String Quartet has

built a reputation of worldwide proportions. Audiences from Toronto to Tokyo, from Lithuania to London consistently give the Quartet standing ovations and great critical acclaim. Phenomenal world-renowned guitarist Paul Galbraith joins the quartet for this program, which includes: Boccherin’s Fandango for Guitar and Strings; Dvorak String Quartet No.10; Castelnuovo’s Tedesco Quintet for Guitar and Strings; and Bach guitar solos. Tickets: $28, $10. 7:30 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC. 242-SHOW. Little Feat. Friday. An American rock & roll phenomenon, showcasing their funky blend of blues, country and R&B. Technically-gifted band members continue to rock, with the unique jazzy sound that helped the band earn their cult following among critics and musicians for the past 30 years. Tickets: $40-$35-$30 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

Ahimsa Arts Presents Dalia Carella - Saturday. Live from New York, two dance workshops featuring Dunyavi Gypsy and Bellydance along with mid-eastern music by Tamzara dances by Dalia Carella, Mirayah Delamar's Sacred Earth Bellydance and Kajira's tribal Bellydance. Followed by a dance show. Admission for workshops: $40. Tickets for show: $15. 8 p.m., The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd., 575-9390. The DOORS - Friday. On Stage Hawaii presents The Doors of the 21st Century live in concert. For one night, time stopped and thousands of loyal fans rejoiced as The Doors of the 21st Century performed a magical concert that,with such tunes as “Light My Fire,” “When the Music's Over” and “Riders on the Storm.” Led by founding members Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger plus singer Ian Astbury, known for his

rich baritone voice in The Cult. The group is rounded out by Angelo Barbera on bass and Ty Dennis on drums. Tickets: $56. 7:30 p.m., Pipeline Café, Oahu, 808-952-6800.

TICKETS ON SALE
Airto Moreira and Flora Purim with Kenny Endo Mar 11. CANCELLED. Call MACC box office at 2427469. Hapa - Mar 12. Evocative island sounds are created by the slack-key/vocal team of Barry Flanagan and Nathan Aweau. Barry is one of the most prolific and wellrespected composers, performers and producers in Hawaii‘i. His slack-key innovations are enriched by the

HOLOHOLO

GIRL HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

MONDAYS

$3 Red Stripes

MARTY DREAD’S REGGAE AT THE ROCK

$5 COVER RD

THURSDAY MARCH 3 FRIDAY MARCH 4RD

Tix Avail. Now!

featuring FAT

MIKE (NOFX), JOEY (LAGWAGON), DAVE (LAGWAGON), SPIKE (SWINGIN’ UTTERS), CHRIS SHIFFLET (FOO FIGHTERS) h a r d r o c k . c o m

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MARCH 3, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

thursday 03/03 ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI

friday03/04

monday03/07 – wednesday03/09

No Information Available

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Ladies’ Night 9pm

Hip-Hop Island Chain Tour

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, $15, 9:30pm

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, $15, 9:30pm

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

No Information Available

No Information Available

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Flava Zone 9pm

Tea Dance w/DJ Fat Joe 9pm

MON - Willie K TUE - Ultra Fab w/Fat Joe, 9pm; WED - Aloha Sin Night w/DJ Fat Joe, 9pm Mon - Reggae at the Rock w/Marty Dread, $5,10pm; WED - Acoustic Jam w/Tim Gannon, 10:30pm

Gina Martinelli No cover, 6-9pm

Six Degrees Night w/DJs, 9:30pm

JAQUES

120 Hana Highway, Paia 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

saturday03/05 sunday03/06

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

Kenny Roberts No cover, 6pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 6pm

El Nino No cover, 6pm

Habanero Brothers No cover, 6pm

Open Jam w/Adam $5, 9pm

N.D.E., live prog rock, $5, 10pm

Live Local Entertainmen No cover, 9pm

Karoke w/James No cover, 9pm

MON - Steve Mendoza, No cover, 6pm TUES - Da Hawaiian, No cover, 6pm Wed - DJ Boomshot No cover, 10pm

DA KINECALENDAR vocals and compositions of Nathan, who is as adept at crafting beautiful Hawaiian music as laying down tasty jazz grooves. They will be joined by Charley Ka`upu, renowned for chanting, to provide another summit on a truly magical Maui evening. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Youth Symphony - Mar 13. In Celebration of Hawaii’s Youth Symphony, 40th Anniversary Season. More than 90 inspiring student musicians take the stage. The performance features exciting premier pieces Maestro Henry Miyamura will conduct Youth Symphony I, the most advanced of HYSA’s seven orchestras. Free. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Ebb & Flow Arts - Mar 17. This performance will be the centerpiece of the annual Ebb & Flow Arts festival; this year entitled "North South East West." Featured ensemble musicians will be Scott Anderson, clarinet; Ignace Jang, violin; and Robert Pollock, piano, along with special guest artists. The program includes recent works by distinguished composers from Japan, Europe, the United States and Latin America, including the premiere of one multi-media work. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Vince Esquire & Chris Duarte - “Texas Meets Hawaii”- Mar 19. Since emerging in the mid-1990s from Austin, Texas, the hair-raising blues guitar slinger Chris Duarte has forged new pathways and scouted numerous fresh trails for creative musical expression. In the meantime, Maui-raised 19-year-old blues guitarist Vince Esquire practiced to Duarte's music to try and emulate his hero. Now these two musicians join talents onstage, for a show that any guitar enthusiast. Tickets: $18 advance, $23 day of show. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Margaret Cho - Mar 20. Forthright, ground-breaking, and often controversial, comedy star Margaret Cho has made a career out of taking social issues fullon. As one of the most visible and funniest Asian American women in the country, and the first in history to star in her own TV series, she has tackled the subjects of ethnicity, weight, sexuality, drug and alcohol problems; no subject is taboo as material for her rapier wit. Her hit Off-Broadway show I'm The One That I Want garnered rave reviews and awards, and has been made into film. Tickets:$45-$35-$25 7:30 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Norton Buffalo & The Knock-Outs with John Lee Hooker Jr. - April 7. Revered around the globe for his uncanny wizardry, crossing all musical styles on the harmonica. Norton has proven his mastery of this instrument on over a hundred recordings and tours with the Steve Miller Band, Grateful Dead, Bonnie Raitt, Kenny Loggins and The Doobie Brothers, to name a few. John Lee Hooker Jr. describes his sound as two parts R&B, one part jazz and "down home blues.” Tickets: $35, $30. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Dayton Contemporary Dance Company - April 8. Today it’s a world-class company collaborating with

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COVER STORY

SURF

important modern choreographers to rave New York reviews, but it all started with a group of AfricanAmerican mothers who dared to dream and sought classical dance instruction for their daughters despite racial segregation in the 1940s. From classes in church basements and schoolrooms to major stages across the country, DCDC has blossomed into a company known for powerful, artistic performances and virtuoso dancing. Tickets: $28, $18, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

performance they take the audience into the heart of Polynesian, accompanied by rhythm, color and melody. Traditional log drum rhythms from their Tokelauan, Maori and Samoan ancestors are fired with world beat/funk grooves on guitar and keyboard to hone the music and dance with a modern edge. Te Vaka the canoe speaks to a world culture: “Adrenalinepowered percussion bringing ancient traditions into the modern world.” Tickets: $28, $18, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Dianne Reeves - April 10. Dianne Reeves is an empress in the jazz world, with expansive range, impeccable pitch and evocative compositions. The simmering effect Dianne brings to a song has earned her many plaudits and special appearances, ranging from HBO to the Olympics as well as the major jazz festivals and the LA Philharmonic. Tickets: $38-$28$20. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

Mapa Spring Dance Extravaganza - May 14-15. Saturday: Jazz, Tap & Hip-Hop Revue. Sunday: Sleeping Beauty Ballet. Celebrate dance with two spectacular shows for the entire family. The classical tale of Sleeping Beauty gracefully put to dance and a high energy dance revue from toe tapping to heel stomping dance styles at its best. Tickets: $20 adult, $15 kids. 2 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Kokua Benefit Festival - April 13. As a musician/filmmaker Jack Johnson hosts a benefit concert for Kokua Hawaii Foundation. Jack will share the stage with legendary singer/songwriter Jackson Browne, Hawaiian favorite John Cruz, Afro-Latin-style-masher group Ozomatli, hip-hop infused blues pioneers G.Love & Special Sauce, and talented slack key guitarist Kawika Kahiapo with his band Kaukahi. In addition to that eclectic mix of live music, the festival will offer information on earth-friendly products and services and environmentally-active groups, to help promote environmental awareness in Hawaii. Tickets: $35 general admission (lawn), $40 reserved. 4 p.m., A & B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

EVENTs

Na Palapalai - April 22. Kuana Torres, Kehau Tamure and Keao Costa all learned to play music the old-fashioned way, in family backyards from friends, relatives, and kupuna. Now, as Na Palapalai, they aim to please a whole new generation of fans by preserving the traditional Hawaiian sound of ha‘i (falsetto) with their own original styling. Na Hoku Hanohano is an awardwinning group with strong instrumental talents and beautifully blended voices. Tickets: $22. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Brothers Cazimero - May 2. In the ‘70s, the brothers have increased awareness of Hawaii around the world, and their talent, incredible showmanship and infectious humor have helped spread aloha. Beautiful harmonies, acoustic arrangements and hula are always a part of the Brothers Cazimero stage, honoring the past, present and future of Hawaii arts. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC 242SHOW. Jonny Lang - May 6. Lang is a Blues/Rock phenomenon who opened for the Rolling Stones the first time he performed in Hawaii! This explosive young guitar slinger has played to sold-out audiences and has been featured on MTV and performed at the White House for the President with B.B. King. Tickets: $45, $40, $35. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Te Vaka - May 13. Te Vaka delivers more than just a

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

FRIDAY, MARCH 4
33rd Annual Sacred Hearts School Bazaar - Fri-Sat, 3:30-11p.m. at the corner of Wainee & Dickenson St. in Lahaina. Special features include a live and silent auction, games, food and live entertainment: Friday’s lineup includes Na Kamali’i, O Ke A Kua, Lono, Kupono Kane, Versatile and Vince Esquire; Saturday features Scott Baird, Gomega, Cool Rush with Love Pacheco, Sapphire, Malino and Da Braddahs. Free! For info, call 661-4720.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5
The 2nd Annual Fur Ball - 6-11 p.m. Hosted by The Maui Humane Society. This dinner is to benefit orphaned animals. For info, call 877-3680 ext. 34. Beach Cleanup - 9:30 a.m at Windmills, West Maui. Ocean Minded needs support to keep Maui beach and ocean clean. For info, call 205-7086. 4th Annual Buy Back the Beach Lu`au - Sat, 5:15 p.m. at the Old Lahaina Lu`au grounds. Supporting preservation efforts of the Maui Coastal Land Trust is the focal point for the group. This benefit is for the Maui Coastal Land Trust in its efforts to preserve and protect coastal lands in Maui Nui for the benefit of the natural environment and of current and future generations. For info, call 244-5263.

DINNER MUSIC

WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. Cafe O’Lei - Steve Sargenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu,

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. Cool Cat Cafe - Thu & Mon The Whale Shark Erik Pietsch. 7 p.m. Howard Ahia Fri-Sun, 6:30 - Close. Hau Phat, Wed. 7 - 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thur, Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien, Tue; E rnest Puaa, Sun-Wed; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474. Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thur; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; Ernest Pua’a Kawika Lum and, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends. Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Acoustic Music with Mike Fri-Sat only 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 6670787. Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399. Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri - Sat, 2:30 -5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; 2435 Ka’anapali Parkway, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495. Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 6677758. Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm; Greg Di Piazza, Wed 6-9 pm., 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Darrin Lenett, Fri. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon,Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500. Sir Wilfred’s At Whalers Village - Sun. Live Jazz 5 p.m. - 9 p.m. Main stage. The Best Jazz Musicians on the island, along with special guest stars. 2435 Ka’anapali Park Way, Lahaina 661-0202.

SOUTH MAUI
Bada Bing - Fri, Hilarious improv comedy with The Pono Players. Dinner & Show, $35. Seating 5:30-7 p.m. Sat, David Gallagher sings songs by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin & the rest of the Rat Pack plus humor & storytelling. 8 p.m. $5.1945 S. Kihei Rd. in

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

27

thursday03/03

friday03/04

KIMO’S

saturday03/05 sunday03/06

TBA

Kilohana 10pm-12 am

Karaoke 9:30pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

monday03/07 – wednesday03/09

LIFE’S A BEACH

Cool Rush 9pm

Reggae For Real $3 cover 9pm

Vince Esquire and Don Lopez BBq Band $5, 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

MON - Open Jam w/Adam, 9pm; TUE - Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm; WED - Wrong Handed Randy, 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

Ricardo Dioso 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm, No cover

Live Music 9pm

Live Music 9pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

VooDoo Suns 9pm

LONGHI’S

888 Front Street, Lahaina 667-2288

Live Music 9pm

Live Music 9pm

LULU’S

1945 -H S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 879-9944

DA KINECALENDAR Kihei 875-0188. Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Fri, Mon Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo Sat Braddah Frances and friends 6:30 p.m. Sun Terri Garrison 4 - 6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844. Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224. Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206. Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, , dinner and show. 8- 10p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., Mon Gypsy Pacific 8-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6 -9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour $3 special's. Live entertainment Sun, Tue, Thu Tony & Peter. Wed & Fri Trevor Jones 4-6pm. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

SECOND SHOW JUST ADDED!

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, Wed,- Sun 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei 874-8385.

CENTRAL MAUI
Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Sat only Joe Cano. 6 p.m. - 10 p.m. A special four course meal is available.

335 Hoohana St., Kahului Café Marc Aurel - Thursdays, Gene Argel and Shiro Mori, 7-10 p.m, 2nd Friday of every month, Shimmy Nights with Bellyroll Dance Company, 7-9 p.m. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao Theatre. 2440852. Mañana Garage – Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220. Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live Music every Wed. 4 p.m. - 8 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI
Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz; Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

5 p.m.120 Hana

Livewire Cafe - Various Artist Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Wed, Fri Live Jazz. Sun Anik 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

RESORT SHOWS

WEST MAUI

Late Night Specials 10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

50% OFF SUSHI & APPETIZERS FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL 5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

Kapalua 669-6286

featuring FAT

MIKE (NOFX), JOEY (LAGWAGON), DAVE (LAGWAGON), SPIKE (SWINGIN’ UTTERS), CHRIS SHIFFLET (FOO FIGHTERS)

THURSDAY, MARCH 3RD FRIDAY, MARCH 4TH 9:30pm

The Shops at Kapalua

Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

28

MARCH 3, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

h a r d r o c k . c o m

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 6691500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m. Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,Tue-Sat, 6:15-9:45 p.m. Kapalua Indoor Amphitheater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Tues 6 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate. The Legend of Kaulula'au: Young Hawaiians loving their culture and willing to perpetuate an aspect of their Hawaiian culture, the art of storytelling. Every Sunday at 4 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Tickets: $30 and $27 Kama'aina. 1-888-808-1055. Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

Embassy Vacation Resort – Ka’anapali Beach 104 Ka’anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031

Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

Swan Court. The Blue Note Swing Orchestra, Dancing nightly to Swing.Tue,Th, Sat, 2 p.m.- 4 p.m. Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon & Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri. 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue & Thu, and Wed& Sat 7- 9p.m.

SOUTH MAUI
Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

thursday 03/03 MANGO GRILL AND BAR

2290 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina, 667-1929

friday03/04

saturday03/05 sunday03/06

Get Your Groove On Friday w/DJ 1/2 Pint, 9:30pm

Karaoke

monday03/07 – wednesday03/09

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Swerve No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Mackie Mac & DJ Rock Hard; TUE - DJs Mackie Mac & Big Zeck, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Wailea Nights 8 pm

Wailea Nights 8pm

Joyce & Gord, No cover, 5:30-8pm; Murry Thorne, No cover 9pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm TUE - Acoustico, No cover, 7 pm; WED - Trevor Jones, No cover, 6pm

NEPTUNES

Smoke Wagon 10pm

Cool Rush 10pm

Crunch Pups 10pm

Adam Bowen No cover, 10pm

MON - Erin Smith,10pm; TUE - Smooth Tuesday w/Curtis Williams, No cover, 10pm; WED - J Roq of Fine Line, 10pm

Live Jazz, No Cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

DJ Heat $5, 9pm

Vaihi $10, 10pm

Willie K $5, 8pm

MON - ‘80s Industrial Lounge w/DJ Boomshot, $5; TUE - Surf Shorts & Bikini Tops w/DJ, $3; WED - Live Blues w/VooDoo Suns, $5, 9pm

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Joe Cano $5, 9:30pm

PARADICE BLUZ

FRIDAYS DANCE WITH DJ 1/2 PINT SPINNING THE GREATEST RECORDS PF ALL TIME. JOIN US EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT 9:30PM - 1:30AM • $5 COVER

SATURDAY KARAOKE WITH HOLLYWOOD

JAY NAVA

EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT FROM 9:30PM TILL - 1:30AM

ON MAUI’S WEST SIDE 2290 KAANAPALI PKWY (808)667-1929

Tattoos Since 1998 12pm-10pm Daily

Fr u

Sw

No Panties No Piercing Just Kick-Ass

Lif e

it

.

GET YOUR GROOVE ON

t

Co

ee

744 Front St. 667-5299

Gift Baskets• Fruit Baskets• Flowers Delivered on Maui and now Shipping WORLDWIDE.

(808)27-SWEET(277–9338) SweetlifefruitCo@aol.com

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

s r

r

TM

VISIT US AT www.mauifruitbasket.com

The Jeremy Thompson Cancer Fund asks you to:

“Pick up a shift for Jeremy” The Jeremy Thompson Cancer Fund wants to ask you a question: Will you work a shift for Jeremy? On Thursday, March 10th our fundraiser is asking service industry workers to donate one day’s gratuities to help raise money for Jeremy Thompson’s medical expenses. Jeremy Thompson, 29, of Lahaina, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in July of 2003. This unbelievable diagnosis has changed his life forever. He has undergone two brain surgeries, both of which successfully removed tumors. As a result he has also experienced some side effects. He has lost peripheral vision in his right eye and is currently relearning how to read and write. Now, we need your help. All the money raised from this “Work for Jeremy Day” will be used for Jeremy’s medical expenses. These expenses include frequent airfare to and from MD Anderson Medical Center in Houston, one of the world’s best medical centers for brain cancer. It also is used for his co-pays on steroids, chemotherapy treatments and other needed prescriptions. For those of you fortunate enough to have had Jeremy Thompson touch your life, you understand what a positive impact he has on people.If you have not yet met him and enjoyed his company. Jeremy and his friends would like to invite all “ Pick up a shift for Jeremy” participants to a THANK YOU BBQ @ Airport Beachthe following Tuesday, March 15that 11:00 a.m. There will be food; donated prizes raffled off; and of course, a chance to meet the man himself, Jeremy Thompson.

Contact: Penny Sowards (808) 250-2337 or Melinda Rochon (808) 276-9144

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 3, 2005

29

thursday03/03 SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

friday03/04 saturday03/05 sunday03/06

Cloud w/DJ Durty & Apostle $5, 9pm

Fine Line $5, 10pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

North Shore All Star Jam $5, 10pm

Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali - 667-4727

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Open Mic NIght w/Jarod No cover, 9pm

MON - North Shore Sextet, No cover, 9:30pm; TUE - Victoria Barrett CD Release Party, 9pm; WED - Lawai’a, 10pm

Acoustic w/Kanoa & Cody No cover, 9:30 pm-Close

MON - DJ ED V, No cover, 10pm; TUE - DJ Bad Ass Tony, No cover, 10pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

MON - Jukebox Nite, No cover; TUE - Erin Smith, No cover; WED - John Moore Project, 9pm

DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

monday03/07– wednesday03/09

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

Fragile X $3, 9pm

Habanero Brothers $3, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

DA KINECALENDAR 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 Live Music Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly. The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Jazz entertainment from 69 nightly.

Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby

Wailea Marriott

Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI
Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

KEIKI
St. Joseph School’s Fun Day - Sat, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at St. Joseph School, Makawao. Featuring live performances by St. Joseph School’s Hula, and performing arts., Brother Francis Band, St. Teresa’s Life Team Choir Prism Ablaze, along with jumping castles, open house, and a scavenger hunt. Also, ono grinds. Free. For info, call 572-8675.

JACK UP YOUR

WEDNESDAYS JACK DANIELS ON SPECIAL! JACK SINGLE BARREL $5.25 GENTLEMAN JACK $3.50 JACK & COKE $3.00

ALL ABSOLUT FLAVORS $3.75 ABSOLUT LEVEL $4.25

ABSOLUT

THURSDAYS 30

MARCH 3, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

Children’s Book Reading and Autograph Sessions Sat, 11a.m.-1 p.m. at Maui Ocean Center book store. Gill McBarnet will be reading her “Marine Theme” books, including “Tikki Turtle’s Quest” and “The Shark Who Leaned a Lesson.” Children will hear about what happened to a naughty shark who bullied the little creatures of the reef. Fee: For info, call 270-7069.

LECTURES
"Revitalizing a Wall…Revitalizing a Culture” - Tue, 7-8 p.m. at National Marine Sanctuary Education Center. Kimokeo Kapahulehua, President of 'Ao 'ao o Na Loko I'a O Maui, will be presenting an enriching lecture about the Ko 'ie'ie Fishpond. Free For info, call 879-2818. Meat Market Animals, Ethics & Money - Wed, 7 p.m. at Cameron Center, Auditorium, Wailuku. Writer Erik Marcus will discuss the history of animal agriculture along with strategies for meat-lovers, vegetarians to combat cruelty to all animals. Along with easy way to fill the diet with delicious, healthy and humanely produced foods. Refreshments will be served. Free. For info, call 575-7694.

pOETRY
Cello Music and Poetry - Sun, 7-9 p.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace. “Dance When You're Broken Open” is an alchemical interplay of poetry and music that opens the mind and invokes the unsayable. Jami Sieber and Kim Rosen offer a unique journey at the intimate interface between word, silence and

music. The concert will include the poetry of Mary Oliver, Emily Dickinson, Eve Ensler, Lalla, Anna Akhmatova, R.M. and Rumi spoken by Kim and the original music of Jami Sieber. Admission: $15. For info call 575-9390.

POLITICAL
Kalama Park Team Meeting - Tue, 3:30-4:30 p.m. at The Kihei Community Center. This meeting is for discussion residents along with business people are encouraged to share ideas and willingness to make Kalama Park Secure and Safe. Free. For info, call 2707765. Town Meeting - Wed, at 6 p.m. at the Lahaina Senior Center. State Senator Roz Baker and Representative Kam Tanaka will speak about the current legislative session and take anyone's questions. Japanese Nation Meets Consulated General - Wed, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Maui Community College. This is an opportunity to conduct business with the Consulate General of Japan. Including discussion on overseas residential registration, and overseas voter registration. For info, call 543-3111.

SPORTS
One Mile Arthritis Walk - Sun, 7:30-8:30 a.m. at Queen K’aahumanu Center, Kahului. Participants needed to help raise money to help cure arthritis. For info, call 877-3369. Swim for your Heart - 8:30 a.m. at Wailea Beach. An open race. $20 admission fee. For more info, call 5738656.

STAGE
“Tale of the Allergist’s Wife” - Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun 5 p.m. at the historic Iao Theater, Wailuku. A crude comedy production about an allergist that treats homeless sinus sufferers in his free clinic and his wife who considers herself one of the world's greatest losers. Tickets: $18 adults and $16 seniors. For info, call 2426969.

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AUTOMOTIVE

BUY & SELL

$BUY & SELL$ JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

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WE BUY & SELL

coins, tokens, medals, stamps, paper money, Hawaiiana, sport collectibles

283-7725

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3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr.

‘03 DODGE DAKOTA

4 DR. • FACTORY WARRANTY • V6 • MILEAGE 31K 5 SPEED • 2WD • A/C • CD • ALARM • BEDLINER GREAT TRUCK • $16,500 • CALL SEAN 250-1788

Area 51 Computer Service www.area51maui.com On-Site Repairs & Upgrades Home Office/Networking 298-9274

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! Learn to SCUBA before it’s too late! Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, HydroOptix Masks! (808) 250-1234 www. shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC

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Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

MARCH 3, 2005

CLASSIFIED

For actors and non actors INTRODUCTORY CLASS Sat., March 12, 12:30-2:30

Learn how to connect with your spontaneous instincts. Really learn to listen and observe, connect with others and be honest in the moment. SPECIAL 10 WEEK CLASSES BEGIN MONDAY,MARCH 14 6 - 9 PM

WANNA HAVE FUN? WANT MORE HOURS? See us today for your interview!!

NOW HIRING ALL POSITIONS Apply in person • Aplique ahora 889 Front St., Lahaina

Call for information or to register 573-3253

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

Learn to design, build & maintain your A $250K-$500K+ 1ST YEAR own website. $50. per hour. FREE iniIncome Opportunity. Home based & Not tial consultation. Blue Cloud @ 276MLM! No personal selling. Training & 0561 Support Provided/ Proven System. Call 1877-347-3745 * 24 hrs. (AAN CAN) RANDEM SYSTEMS FINAN-

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CIAL TRAINING SERVICES Learn to live debt free and have some money from your current income. Learn to invest properly. Do not believe that if you have no money there is nothing that you can do. (808) 344-0256

NEED NEW COMPUTER Bad Credit - No Problem! Buy a new computer Now and pay for it later. New Computers and Laptops from $20/month. Call Now 1-800-311-1542. (AAN CAN)

“GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR BODY”

Looking For A Little Experience?

Is Seeking Interns. Entry level positions. High school students okay. We will train. • Must Be Bright & Adaptable • School Credit Possible

• Work With A Fun Team • Gain Valuable Experience

Send resume to: Jen Russo 658 Front St. #126A-7278, Lahaina HI 96761 or call 661-3786 x3#

EARN $3500 WEEKLY! Answering Surveys Online! $25-$75 Per Survey! Guaranteed Paychecks. Process E-mails Online $25.00 Per ALL CASH CANDY ROUTE! E-mail. Mystery Shoppers Earn $57.00/HourShopping!www.RealCas Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own local candy route. Includes 30 hPrograms.com (AAN CAN) Machines and Candy. All for $9,995. $$ A CASH NOW OFFER $$ 1-800-807-6525. (AAN CAN) Turn future money from lawsuit settlements, lottery awards, and annuity payments into cash now. Free Quotes 1-800-815-3503 www.ppicash.com $25,000 CASH (AAN CAN) GRANTS AVAILABLE! $$CASH$$ All Hawaii residents may qualify. Immediate Cash for Structured Money for housing, school, businessSettlements, Annuities, Law Suits, es, etc. No credit check. Toll Free 1Inheritances, Mortgage Notes, & 866-490-1823 ext. 501 Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth - #1 1(800)-794-7310. (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT

INTERNATIONAL COMPANY needs PT and FT help. WORK FROM HOME $500-$1500/MO P/T, $2000$6000/MO F/T. Call: 573-3203 for free booklet. www.joyfulsuccess.com NANNY POSITION WANTED Full/Part Time, Love Children, Retired Registered Nurse, 23 Years Emergency Room Experience, Excellent Swimmer, References. Call Sue at 269-699-7006 PROFESSIONAL HOUSE-SITTER References, 54 years old, Retired Registered Nurse. Call Sue at 269699-7006

CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES 5 lines included – approx. 140 characters

Frequencies of 1-8weeks Frequencies of 9-26weeks Frequencies of 27-52weeks

$15/week* $11/week* $8/week*

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line *Does not apply to Backside or Adult Services. Please call for pricing details.

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S Maui’s most fun and amazing show is looking to add: P/T HOUSEKEEPER $12. per hour to join our energetic team! Apply in person. MondayFriday 9am-4pm 900 Front St., Lahaina

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a WARREN & ANNABELLE’S question directly concerning AAN CAN, Maui’s most fun and amazing show is please check out aancan.org looking to add: P/T (Aft./Eve. Shift) FRONT DESK RECEPTIONIST to join our energetic team! Res. incl.: FOR SALE Meet, greet, check in guests, $ handling, gen’l admin. & phone reserv. Must have great personality & neat appearance. Hourly + Commissions. Apply in person. Monday- Friday 9amS.&W. MAUI CONDOS 4pm 900 Front St., Lahaina

REAL ESTATE

$175,000 W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $375,000 from

FEDERAL EMPLOYMENT Entry-Professional Level Positions. No experience necessary. Local positions available in most areas. Salary depending on position applied for. For Information Call: 1-866-329-0804 ext. 5024. (AAN CAN) 2005 POSTAL POSITIONS!! $17.50-$59.00+/Hour. Full Benefits. Paid training & Vacations. No experience Necessary! Green Card OK! For More Information Call 1-866-329-0801 ext. 1050. (AAN CAN)

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

APARTMENTS FOR RENT FURNISHED, 1 BEDROOM

APARTMENT FOR RENT $525 WEEKLY INCOME In Honokowai @ Maui Lani Terraces. possible mailing sales letters from Cool, Quiet, Parking, Great Neighbors. home. Genuine opportunity to work Available Immediately, For More with our wellness company. Supplies Information Call (864) 363-0301 provided. No Selling. FT/PT. Call 1708-536-7040 (24 Hours). SHARED HOUSING, www.CardonaConsulting.com (AAN ROOMMATES CAN) ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. CASTING: Browse hundreds of online listings Documentary TV series seeks people with photos and maps. Find your roomstruggling with addiction: steroids, mate with a click of the mouse! Visit: alcohol, pornography,plastic www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN) surgery,anorexia, shoplifting etc. VACATION RENTALS www.newdocudrama.com (AAN CAN) CLEAN, AFFORDABLE BARTENDERS Accommodations in our vacation up to $1200 per week. Tips + wages. rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free No Experience Required. Multiple Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or FT/PT positions available. Call 1-800- www.wailukuhouse.com 806-0083 ext. 202. (AAN CAN)

SERVICES

$1,380 WEEKLY POSSIBLE! Stuffing Envelopes At Home FT/PT. $50 CA$H HIRING BONUS. Guaranteed in writing. 1-877-8744771. (AAN CAN)

Professional PC Services Upgrades, Repairs & More. On Site or Drop off in Paia. Lava Tech - Call Jerry 270-9254 www.lavatech.us

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard. Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

NOTICES

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Maui Recycling Service If not now, when?

CURBSIDE RECYCLING! FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee! When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!) New customers only – offer expires 3/31/05

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

You’ve entered a scary new chapter, one that’ll encompass more than half of the year to come. I understand your apprehension; there’s absolutely no way to anticipate what’ll happen to you during this time. It’s like a long, tortuous, dim tunnel, deep underground, which could as easily be filled with benevolent gnomes and treasure, or ravenous beasts and precipitous plunges. You’ll never know which, pre-exploration. That’s the rough news (which you already knew). Luckily, you’ve got a very clear idea of what could await you at the end of the tunnel: the light of your next chapter is bright and inspiring. Be faithful to that. Keep its images firmly in mind and you simply can’t be derailed by the pleasures or pitfalls of this chapter. Now, if that’s not good news, I don’t know what is.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) When you fail, it’s not always because you’ve simply been outplayed. Sometimes you’ve managed to thwart yourself. There’s usually a good reason for this kind of self-sabotage. When you trip over your own feet, it might be because some wise part of you knows you’re better off not winning that particular race. When you “accidentally” screw yourself over this week, remember that. Don’t waste time berating yourself for what you’d usually deem a preventable and stupid mistake. Instead, consider your loss a blessing in disguise, and start looking for the reasons why that might be so. They’re there.

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment. The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Omens and portents aren’t usually your style, but I suggest you make an exception this week. The universe is striving to impart some feedback about your recent choices, and unfortunately, whatever higher powers there are prefer (at least at the moment) to use methods that are highly subject to interpretation (In other words, no phone call with a voice at the other end saying, “Good job!” or “You fucked up!”). Luckily, deciphering these clues shouldn’t be too hard, provided you’re receptive to them; it’ll be pretty obvious, once you’re looking, to see when you’re delivered validation or a warning, and what you ought to do next. Then, do it.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) I hope the edge of your seat’s comfortable, because that’s where you’ll be, when you get to sit at all. Don’t feel too bad about the fact that you’ll mostly be racing around like a decapitated chicken, though; there’s no way you could have prepared better than you have. You simply had to wait for certain pieces to fall into place and you couldn’t reasonably act until they did. Well, now they have, and you’re not going to have time for much else. So what? It’s bound to be exciting, interesting, and, on some level, satisfying. At least you’re good at it. So don’t stress; shine, instead.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) You’re not trapped. Sure, your movements are a bit encumbered, but you’ve still got choices. Hopefully, it’s a relief to find that you haven’t passed the point of no return—you thought it was that intersection you crossed a while back. However, that dread No Turning Back sign is looming up ahead. The last final warning you got turned out to be a false alarm (Lucky for you, since you missed your chance to get out at that time). This one is no fire drill, though. Get out or buckle in for the ride. Escape before next week or you’re on this one ‘til the thing stops on its own.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Welcome to zero gravity. Your time in the metaphorical space station will be brief but harrowing; nothing’s nailed down right now. All the pieces of your life are floating willy-nilly in all directions. Please don’t attempt to organize them or otherwise pin them down, however. This will only create greater chaos. Practice serenity, instead. Be unpanicked and deliberate. Sudden movements (physical or emotional) should be avoided until next week, when normal gravity will begin to gradually reassert itself. Do not rush this process. Hint: If you wait until it’s completely over before you attempt to clean up the mess created during this time, you might not have to do it alone.

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

Maui Lawn Works

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Why don’t you try just dropping your guard? Extend some trust—without a safety net. I’m not going to guarantee you won’t fall, and we both know if you take a tumble now you will break some bones. Swallow that and digest it, please, then take on this: There is no more safety net. There’ll never be one again. So, really, there’s no better time to take a leap, knowing full well it might snap your legs. Accept that, because it won’t change—except that you’ll get even more brittle (and less willing to gamble). Risks are part of life. If you won’t take one now, why would you take one later? And if you won’t take one later, why bother living?

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Prepare to face disappointment early this week when your latest get-rich-quick (or, for the more cautious among you, your latest get-rich-slow) scheme is proven—quite dramatically—unfeasible. It’s a clunker. You should have known, however, that it wouldn’t be as easy as that. Don’t try to salvage this one. The bad outweighs the good; it’ll drag you down before you save any piece of it. Just let it go as deadweight and concentrate instead on what is going well for you (even if it’s not earning you money): your love/sex life. A window opens this week for you to either start an affair with someone who’s radically different from you, or to spark up your current relationship’s routine with some weird and exciting new stuff. Go there, and leave your failed enterprise forgotten in the dust.

Jason Meyer 573-1920

TEETH WHITENING $59.99 performed by local dentists. Now clients only 310-792-0451. www.smileamericainc.com/promo (AAN CAN)

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

MISCELLANEOUS

Control your temper this week. This may be way, way harder than it ought to be, because, remember: the last time you slammed your fist through a wall, you found an ancient cash-stash hidden behind the plaster. Talk about validation. It was like the universe handed you a big fat reward for blowing your top. Not this week, though. Lady Luck is a capricious bitch, and she’s liable to take away more than she gave last time, if you give her an opening. In other words, the next wall you punch will probably be concrete, and the medical bills for your broken hand will outstrip 10 hidden treasures.

$25,000 CASH GRANTS AVAILABLE! All Hawaii residents may qualify. Money for housing, school, businesses, etc. No credit check. Toll Free 1866-490-1823 ext. 502

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) If you could see dead people, I’d hope that you wouldn’t be a victim about it. Instead of considering yourself horribly haunted, you might regard yourself as immensely popular, instead. Sure, your guests are creepy and disgusting, but they’re also privy to wisdom and knowledge that you could make use of. It might even make you rich, if you worked it right. This week, please turn whatever’s happening to you to your advantage, no matter how unpleasant (or pleasant), private, or seemingly negative it is. There’s a silver lining you can get to. All you have to do is look for it.

AD COPY: MALE ENHANCEMENT PILL! She’ll be bragging to her friends. 100% Guaranteed. Safe, Natural, Permanent. Order “Extra” today! GPI-DIRECT 1-800-731-1414. (AAN CAN)

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Fold. Withdraw all bets. You’re just not the least bit lucky right now. If I were you, I’d leave as little to chance as possible at the moment. There are times to gamble—even cautious, ambitious plodders like you know that— and this is definitely not one of them. Believe me, I despise giving advice like this: play it safe. But sometimes it’s just plain unavoidable. I’d be irresponsible if I urged you to play in traffic right now; you’d get nailed the second you stepped off the curb. Just take it easy, politely refuse risky ventures, and bide your time. Good fortune will come. Just not this week.

DIABETIC? MEDICARE? Medicare pays for testing supplies. No Finger Sticking! Almost Painless. No Claim Forms! FREE Shipping! Wellness Life Systems. Call Now! 1800-820-2012. No HMOs. (AAN CAN)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) The problem with children that spring full-grown from your forehead is that more than half the time they want to kick your ass, or kill you. Keep this in mind when you’re tempted to send your fledglings out into the world prematurely this week. That’d be a huge mistake. They’re not ready to leave the nest. I know the place is crowded and you’re exhausted. Nevertheless, persist a little longer. Your creations will benefit from the extra care. In return, they won’t come back to haunt you (or fuck you over). It’s a fair trade, believe me.

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FREE-FREE-FREE Save thousands of dollars on your existing mortgage & build-up equity faster through bi-weekly payments. For more info. & a FREE Mortgage Reduction Analysis, Call 575-9241

SERVICES

CAREER POSITIONS Earn $12-$48.00/hour. Full MAUI ROB’S PAINTING Medical/Dental Benefits, Paid Training Interiors & Exteriors, Top Quality, on Clerical, Administrative, Law FREE Estimates. Also Housekeeping Enforcement, Homeland Security, Services Available, Energetic & Wildlife & More! 1-800-320-9353 Reasonable. Rob Clay 276-5775 x2001. (AAN CAN) $ MODELS WANTED $ For calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

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33

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut, Sometimes You Don’t You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. —Plato On Wednesday, I dragged Kim’s sweet ass out of Lahaina to see the Motorcycle Diaries with me at the MACC. I missed the film last time it played there so I was really psyched to have the second chance. Sasha met us in Wailuku where I was housesitting for freshly mohawked TBB and stiletto-ed BJ, who were busy playing “That Couple” on a drunken cruise somewhere in Mexico. We raided the liquor cabinet and BJ’s closet and danced around the living room, just like back in the day when our parents left for the weekend. We had so much fun we ended up missing the movie, as well as forgetting plans to meet our darling, uninitiated girlfriend Byron at Idini’s. Hopefully, Mike and the gang took good care of our little bird. Or she brought her handcuffs. Whichever. Kim, Sasha and I did make it down to Kihei, where we cruised into Neptune’s and became immediately enamored with our surroundings. And Greg. And Garrett the bartender. And that gin-drinking Miguel guy. And these cool built-in holes in the bar for stocking ashtrays. And well, we couldn’t steal those so we kidnapped Miguel and went to the SandBar in Paia. We were excited to see Kim’s favorite local band, The Easy, but of course, we were having so much fun we missed them, too. We did have the good fortune of digging DJ Platelunch’s groove and danced like we were back in the living room of our night’s origins. But we were also having so much fun we thought it was okay to do tequila shots with gorgeous she-devils Tarah and Bernadette. Then someone hijacked my phone number, only to call me the next day and tell me not to write about him. And poor Kim realized she ate nothing but Jack-in-the-Box all day—and twice, at that. And Sasha had so much fun she didn’t remember how she ending up sleeping on the couch with the poodles. The next day, Kim and I stopped for lunch at Life’s a Beach in Kihei, where we had one Mai Tai each. “Just one?!” exclaimed the owner, Vicky. Obviously, my reputation preceded me. Then we went to Mulligan’s to say hi to our old pal, Mike. Bartender Paddy set us up with a couple of Mind Erasers and Mike egged us on, although he said he’s been sober since Christmas Day and was happily drinking milk. A wily Irishman happily drinking milk instead of pounding the Guinness? The world’s going to hell in a hand basket, I tell ya. Later that night, I went to the Puremovement hip-hop dance show at the MACC with a couple of pals. Then we went back to “my parents’ house” and drank canned beer and watched the greatest canned-beer-drinking movie ever, Joe Dirt. Then on Saturday, Mr. X came over and we watched The Wind Will Carry Us, an Iranian film with characters you don’t actually see but rather, hear, like the faceless neighbor over the fence on Home Improvement. Sasha and I then donned BJ’s hats and went to the SandBar to meet Reeny and Kristen for dinner on Sunday. With Reeny and Kristen in flannel shirts, grinning and grungy from spending all day at the motocross track, and Sasha and I in our Easter-colored bonnets, the four of us looked like we were on a double date, of sorts. Perhaps that romanticism carried over from the previous night’s date, because the next night Sasha made me dinner. Actually, we were supposed to make dinner together but I was busy shirking my duties and chatting on the phone, like the irresponsible teenager I am. Then we watched City of Lost Children and passed out. The end. MTW

34

MARCH 3, 2005

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