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HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, FRANKIE SEZ, EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK, FOOD COPS, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH & ARCHAIC BRONZES

■ DECEMBER 9, 2004

■ VOLUME 8

■ ISSUE 24

■ MAUITIME.COM

■ FREE EVERY THURSDAY

MAUI’S ONLY INDEPENDENT & LOCALLY-OWNED NEWSPAPER

5 ALL ABOARD?

Why we shouldn’t forget about rail

13 PAIA BAY CAFE Just a small town diner

25 DREADSTARR Are they a better UN?


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DECEMBER 9, 2004


CONTENTS

MAILING ADDRESS: 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 PHYSICAL ADDRESS: 505 Front St., Ste. 216 Lahaina, HI 96761 office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 24

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COVER STORY 10

•Mormons at the Door – by Barukh Shalev

MAUI COUNTY 4

•Letters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

5

•Food Cops •LC Watch •All Aboard? Don’t forget about rail – by Anthony Pignataro

Buddah Future - pg. 20

•They Die, But Not for Their Country

Holiday Half-Price

Why soldiers make the ultimate sacrifice – by Ted Rall

SURF & SPORTS 4 9

•Tides & Times •Basketball, Anyone?

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com Calendar Goddess: Kim Welch kim@mauitime.com

Spending a night in the Marshall Islands – by Barukh Shalev

Contributing Writers: Sarah Callender, Caeriel Crestin, Sarah Elwell, Joe Gatto, Barukh Shalev, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ted Rall

DINING 13

Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther

•Paia’s Small Town Diner

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Eating at the Youth Center – by Joe Gatto

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23 •Movies & Times 24 •FirstAcademy Light Film Festival Screenings on Maui 25 •A&E: DreadStarr Are they a model for a new United Nations?

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PAI A Fi s h M ar k et Restaurant

Tides & times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului: 1hr 41min Hana: 1hr 23 min Makena: 0hr 32min Kihei/Ma`alaea: 0hr 22 min Lahaina: 0hr 40 min

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Sun R 6:59 Fri Sun S 5:51P

H 3:00A +2.5 H 2:23P +0.8 L 10:08A +0.3 L 8:09P -0.4

11 Sun R 6:59 Sat Sun S 5:51P

H 3:43A +2.7 L 11:03A +0.2

H 3:13P +0.7 L 8:48P -0.4

12 Sun R 7:00 Sun Sun S 5:51P

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13 Sun R 7:00 Mon Sun S 5:52P

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14 Sun R 7:01 Tue Sun S 5:52P

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15 Sun R 7:02 Wed Sun S 5:52P

H 6:56A +2.5 L 2:43P +0.1

LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR DEMANDS FACILITY JUSTICE Guys, really... Come on, did you think it was cool to bring down cool places like Café Mambo for a stupid thing such as a doorknob (“Restroom Guide,” Nov. 11, 2004)? You should know better. Some people just read “Restroom Guide,” “Bad, and then “Café Mambo” and that leaves a note in their brain. Next time they go out to dinner they might go by Café Mambo and not go in because they think that they have a filthy bathroom. You should be more careful next time. -Cynthia Pegolo, via email

H 7:30P +0.6

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579-8030

Just present this ad. It’s that easy!

Anthony Pignataro responds: You’ve got a really good point. I should have pointed out that Café Mambo also has a pretty bad bathroom, in addition to that trick doorknob that seems locked when it really isn’t. My bad.

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MORE HYATT FALLOUT I still can’t believe that a liquor establishment with 20-plus citations only got a fine of $25,000—which is a slap on the hand for the Hyatt Regency—and only one strike against them (“Risk to the Community,” Nov. 11). If this had happened somewhere else, would they have gotten the same treatment? Three people who were underage who had been drinking at the hotel, and one died! What is wrong with this picture? Was this the Adjudication Board’s fault? The Prosecuting attorney’s fault? Is it just? Fair? What happened? -Anonymous, via email

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DECEMBER 9, 2004

NEWS

ANTI-PEOPLE OF DARKNESS There is a group of people in this country, on this island, in this little town of Wailuku, that I find hard to forgive. They are the privileged, young and beautiful, the publishers, editors and writers (Barukh Shalev) who romanticize and trivialize the people of dark-

ness—the monsters of the night streets (“Working Guy,” Nov. 4, 2004). Eventually these degenerate predators use what they have learned to prey on others. And their easiest targets are kids who have tried to escape a brutal home life in desperation and run away to the streets thinking they will find freedom and “a thrilling and exciting way to make fast cash… fast life… wild life… where the wild things are!” (Shalev’s words). The kids are not out on a teenage lark. They are the innocent, homeless, brave kids who think they are escaping hell on earth as they know it at home and think they can run away to the streets and find open arms to help them get fun, sex and free drugs. The monsters that Shalev writes as “enchanting” see these victimized children in a different light. They see a young kid with no family or money and they immediately start thinking of creative ways to sap their energy, spirit and souls for profit. It is these drug pushers, pimps and sexual predators—people of darkness whom I find absolutely impossible to forgive. The people who abuse these kids should be begging God for forgiveness. And the people who call these predators “working guys” should pray to God that their children don’t run away. -Anonymous , via email

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

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MR. WINE Lahaina • Maui • Hawai'i 808 Waine'e Street, Suite 101

808-661-5551

Just wanted to say thanks for swiping my favorite CD collection, which I had stored in my car. And while I’ve got your attention, just what the hell did I ever do to you? You know, the sad part is that I seriously doubt you appreciate any of the music you’ve now got in your possession: Buckcherry, Kings of Leon, Dean Martin. Do you even know who any of those legends are? We’re talking the best there is, damn it! You know, scum like you don’t deserve to live on this beautiful island. There’s no way we call this place “paradise” as long as parasites like you live here. Wait, I just realized you also snagged my favorite Cake CD. And that one was a replacement! My original copy was in my car stereo that got stolen a year ago! I can’t believe you took my Cake CD. I hope your bad karma follows you until you finally get what you deserve.


MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

All Aboard?

The LC wants you!

Don’t forget about rail It’s kind of surprising if you think about it, but lots of people are talking about transit right now. You know, transit— moving goods, services and the public at large around Maui as quickly and efficiently as possible. At county-sponsored hearings around the island, residents are talking up the need for more buses, vans and the like. While efficient, buses still require road construction and maintenance. One idea that isn’t getting much play but doesn’t require any road use whatsoever is rail. Trains could link Paia, Kahului, Wailuku, Ma’alaea, Kihei, Wailea, Lahaina and Ka’anapali, making further road and perhaps freeway con-

Food Cops The following tale is taken straight from official complaints and inspection reports on file with the State of Hawaii Department of Health Food Safety office.

Establishment Subway

Location 1819 S. Kihei Rd., B110

Date May 7, 2004

Time 2:30 p.m. A male employee was coughing while preparing the complainant’s sandwich. Worried about TB, the complainant filed a complaint. Later that day the sanitation department called the establishment and spoke to the male employee who admitted that “he was still coughing and not that sick.” When the owner was contacted, she stated that she “did not know that the employee was sick and it is his responsibility to inform her that he is sick.” On May 10, when the sanitation department further investigated the issue, they found that all the employees had TB clearance. But now the story changed—the male employee in question was now saying that he was “coughing because he was choking on something.” He said he didn’t have a cold back on May 7, and had “left the service line” as soon as he started coughing and “went into the back area” so another employee could finish the complainant’s sandwich. On May 14 the complainant was informed of the findings. -Lauren Dahl

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Stopping soon on Maui? struction unnecessary. Actually, the idea’s been around for some time. Like a hundred years or so. In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, steam trains ran all over the island, hauling sugar cane as well as workers. With the exception of the little tourist train in Ka’anapali, those trains stopped running when sugar harvesting began giving way to resort construction. Then two years ago, Wailuku architect Tom Cannon began boosting a return to the rail era. Footage of one presentation he gave to the Kihei Rotary Club is available to view on Akaku’s Experimental Channel 54. He talked about running the lines over agricultural lands, so construction wouldn’t disrupt any current neighborhoods. He talked about how in the late 1980s the city of Honolulu determined that rail lines would be the most efficient way of moving people around Oahu. He described how modern magnetic levitation or “maglev” trains are quiet, fast and exceptionally clean for the environment. He talked about elevating the trains over the land, providing both a stellar view for the passengers and minimal disruption to the surrounding landscape. In fact, Cannon said crops like pineapple could still be grown around the track footings, though he ruled out sugar because of the danger posed by the practice of burning the cane in the fields. The key, Cannon said, was acquiring the corridors as soon as possible. That way residential or commercial development wouldn’t bisect a potential route, making the line exceedingly expensive or even impossible to construct later. Even if construction wouldn’t begin for another five or 10 years, Cannon said it was necessary for the county to get the corridors immediately. Of course, that was two years ago. And while many new homes have gone up in the intervening years, the landscape still allows the possibility for Cannon’s vision to come true. “I’m a great believer in elevated, suspended trains,” local Sierra Club chairman Daniel Grantham told me recently. “They run on rubber tires, they’re lightweight, they draw power, have air-conditioning and a great view. Elevating them preserves the space beneath.” Trains such as these already run throughout

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Europe and Japan. They are fast and, when compared to the fact that Americans typically pay about $700 a month to own and maintain an automobile—relatively cheap. Grantham said the only way rail transit would work is if the county completely changed the way it did planning. No more haphazard approval of neighborhoods here and there—rail would require total planning, where all infrastructure is planned for a given community before any home can go up. Such designing would ensure that infrastructure kept pace with construction. It would also allow neighborhoods and communities to exist in more human dimensions. “We’ve made our communities unpleasant to move through on foot,” said Grantham. “Try walking around Kahului or crossing the street in front of the mall. We’re designing our communities for cars—they take up about 50 percent of the space.” Like Cannon, Grantham says the county needs to look at obtaining transit corridors immediately. “Let’s do a five-year plan,” he said. “The technology will be better in five years, but we need to start now.”

MTW

Kids, the LC wants you! Right now! Today! They want you to be an LC! You read that right. The LC is hiring. They’re looking for a few good trainee applicants to be a bonified Liquor Control Officer I. The job duties are straightforward: “Serves in trainee capacity receiving orientation and training in the principles and practices, method and techniques of inspection and investigation relative to the issuance, transfer, and renewal of liquor licenses and permits or the enforcement of liquor laws, rules and regulations within the County of Maui; and performs other related duties as required.” Such a position naturally requires considerable skills, considering the delicate diplomatic as well as investigative aspects of the job. The first is “a combination of education and experience substantially equivalent to graduation from high school.” That’s right, we’re talking the LC here, baby! These guys have to write reports and call people and, most importantly, look at drunks and see if they’re really drunk or just, you know, faking it, because they do that sometimes just to piss us off. Jerks. So yeah, “substantially equivalent.” Damn straight. The second requirement is just as bold and discriminating: “[T]wo years of experience in meeting and dealing with people, one of which shall have involved the examination, enforcement, interpretation and/or application of laws, ordinances, rules and regulations and/or polices and procedures.” A whole year dealing with “interpretation and/or application of laws, ordinances, rules and regulations and/or polices and procedures?” Ain’t no way they’re going find someone who can do all that. Oh wait, mall guards do that. Oh, and the person needs to be a U.S. citizen and carry a valid driver’s license. You know, in case they have to go and get lunch one day for the rest of the office. Sound like fun? The deadline for application is Dec. 14, so you better hurry. For more information, stop by the county Department of Personnel Services, which is inconveniently located on the sixth floor of the Kalana O Maui Building in Wailuku. MTW

—Anthony Pignataro

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MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, DEC. 1

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

What are the three worst words in the English language? Bad mac salad.

the sacred investigative tactics of our FBI. So you see? Our freedom is once again safe from those who would dare ask about it.

THURSDAY, DEC. 2

FRIDAY, DEC. 3

Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our president—that would be George W. Bush, still—loves to use the word “freedom.” Why did we invade Afghanistan? That would be Freedom. Why did we invade Iraq? Freedom again. Why are we planning to bomb Iran? Freeeeeeeedom! USA! USA! Anyhoo, I bring up all this freedom talk because Hawaii Public Radio ran a piece today on how the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has just filed a bunch of Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to find out how those gallant guardians of freedom are allegedly spying on anti-war, environmental, labor, Native American and religious activists—in other words, people who tend to exercise their Freedom of Speech. The espionage acts included infiltrating student peace groups, compiling files on anti-war events, interrogating animal rights activists and aggressively questioning Muslims--perhaps even asking them stuff like why they’re Muslim and if they planned to remain Muslim for the foreseeable future. Isn’t it wonderful how U.S. Government agents will trample our Bill of Rights in the name of guarding our hard-fought freedoms at home and promoting liberty and democracy abroad? Doesn’t it just bring a tear to your eye? But have no fear—the evil, evil ACLU will not get far. That’s because now-retiring U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft’s greatest legacy was emasculating the FOIA statutes by telling department heads things like they didn’t need to bother responding to FOIA requests—especially those that pry into

Today Major General Robert G. F. Lee, the state Adjutant General and Director of Civil Defense—his name is “General Lee!” Get it? That is so bitchin’!—announced that Hawaii is raking in a cool $23.1 mil in federal Homeland Security Bucks. “This is approximately the same amount of money we received last year,” General Lee said in a press release today. “We are extremely pleased that it was not reduced.” Certainly. Not reduced. So, um, where’s mine? I mean, I could use a $23.1 million federal Homeland Security grant. I could use it just fine. I don’t think it’s really fair that only “states” get to apply for and receive this kind of dough.

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

SATURDAY, DEC. 4 The Maui News reports that 2nd District Court Judge Reinette Cooper is really throwing the book at five locals caught in a big cockfighting sting operation carried out by the Maui Police Department. That’s right, cockfighting—the backbone of the local underground gambling economy. Okay, so fines of $500 and $1,000 constitute a pretty small book, but Cooper is peppering her justice with Judge Judy-like rough talk. “It’s got to stop,” Cooper told the defendants yesterday, according to News reporter Lila Fujimoto. “This is not the ‘30s and ‘40s plantation camps. We’re becoming more civilized. You want to gamble, you go to Vegas, throw away your money.”

SUNDAY, DEC. 5 Still feeling triumphant that developer Kent Smith’s 268-home Pu’unoa project

OVERHEARD... “WHAT I NORMALLY DO IN THAT CASE IS FLY UP TO SEATTLE—DO THE WHOLE ‘BIG CITY’ THING—THEN TAKE A SEAPLANE UP TO VANCOUVER.” -One rich guy talking to another rich guy at BJ’s in Lahaina, Dec. 2

got shot down again? Well, lap it up because Ka’anapali Development Corporation’s far larger 750-home Wainee project is headed this way. Located on land adjacent to the old Pioneer Mill, the massive neighborhood is also going the “201-G” route favored by Smith. But unlike that twice-killed proposal, KDC says it will conduct a full environmental assessment. That’s the least they can do, considering Wainee will create far more traffic than even Smith dreamed… Hanging at the local tavern last night, a bunch of us guys got to talking about, you know, typical guy stuff. There was some analysis of the day’s NFL games, a little recollecting of the ribald humor of one or two choice Chappelle’s Show episodes and some rather spirited discussion of the merits of Democrat Daniel Inouye, the senior U.S. Senator from Hawaii. Yes, guys sometimes talk politics in bars. It happens. And no, the reason doesn’t have to do with chicks, though in this case, it did. We were

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thumbing through the bar copy of the latest Maxim issue—I don’t know which date, but I remember it’s the one with that one blonde from That ‘70s Show on the cover looking all hot in a blue bikini. Anyway, they had a little write-up on congressional purveyors of pork, and Inouye made the top five! In fact, the blurb on him took him to task for pushing through a $220,000 federally funded study of algae on West Maui beaches! I knew we reelected him overwhelmingly for a reason!

MONDAY, DEC. 6 Not sure that you’ve noticed, what with all the controversy floating around over the college Bowl Championship Series and that whole Iraq inferno thing, but live in a rapidly militarizing society. It kinda just snuck up on us, I guess. One day we’re hitching the horses to the plow Waltons-style, then the next we’re awarding U.S. Air Force supercomputer time to University of Hawaii (UH) students so they can study lee-side weather patterns across the state. See how that works? Science can’t afford anything by itself because we don’t live in a society that puts a lot of importance on research, so it has to look elsewhere for money. “One of the benefits of UH winning the contract to operate and manage [the Maui High Performance Computer Center in Kihei] is that we are able to leverage resources to advance UH research while meeting the needs of the Air Force and other MHPPC customers,” said UH Chief Information Officer David Lassner in a press release sent out today. You see? Everybody wins!… Remember Makena? Years and years of planning to turn the beautiful beachfront wildlands of Makena into another Wailea? Well, Prince Resorts is still taking their sweet time finishing their massive development proposal so the Maui County Council can deliberate for 500 hours before passing it. Well, The Maui News says today that you shouldn’t expect anything more out of the council until next year. At the earliest. No one, it seems, is in a hurry to approve this one.

TUESDAY, DEC. 7 I was supposed to remember something today. Something that happened, like, 63 years ago this morning… I’m sure it’ll come to me. MTW

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NEWS

Maui Community College does not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, age, religion, color, national origin, ancestry, disability, marital status, arrest and court records, sexual orientation, or status as a covered veteran.


NEWSOFTHEWEIRD THIRD PERSON? Eccentric British rock musician Genesis P-Orridge (born Neil Megson) and his wife and partner, Lady Jaye Breyer, are gradually transforming themselves surgically into gender-neutral, “pandrogynous” human beings resembling each other, so that eventually they will be indistinguishable, to demonstrate how overrated gender is as a point of reference. For example, he wore a lace dress at their wedding, and she dressed as a biker guy, with moustache. For Valentine’s Day 2003, each got breast implants. P-Orridge told SF Weekly in October that their goal is to jointly become a third person, distinct from either of them.

SOUNDS COMFY

THINGS PEOPLE BELIEVE In November, former mayor Diana Cortez of La Grulla, Texas, and the town’s former bookkeeper pleaded guilty to taking $53,700 in federal community grant money and spending it all on psychic consultations. And in August, the St. Louis (Mo.) Regional Chamber and Growth Association fired psychic David Levin after seven years’ service, during which time it paid him $1.4 million in fees and expenses. Levin’s business card read “executive coach,” and the association president admitted Levin had “uncanny” abilities, but Levin prominently attributed

his astuteness to his spiritual powers, which he said he has in common with his wife and 15year-old son.

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IT DOES A BODY GOOD Mr. Ilker Yilmaz, 28, of Istanbul, inspired to bring pride to Turkey by achieving a Guinness Book world record, decided to challenge Canadian Mark Moraal’s 8.7-foot mark for squirting milk out of his eye. In October, exploiting what he called an anomaly in his tear gland, he sucked milk up his nose and pinched it 9.223 feet out of an eye socket in front of several witnesses and is now awaiting official recognition.

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THE CONTINUING CRISIS Included among “weapons” allegedly found on inmates at the Grafton prison in Australia, reported in September in Brisbane’s CourierMail, were four venomous redback spiders that an inmate said were “pets” that were regularly “milked” of venom by inmates in order to produce a toxin that they could inject, to help them get high.

CREME DE LA WEIRD Among the unsuccessful 2004 write-in presidential candidates (according to a November report on NJ.com): Jack Grimes of Maryland, who admires the leadership methodology of Saddam Hussein but would rely on telepathy and astrology to make tough presidential decisions; Sterling Allan of Utah, who alphabetized and then numbered every word in the Bible and said that the codes he produced told him to return the United States to the gold standard, among other insights; and Randy Crow of North Carolina, who says that despite a government-implanted chip in his brain, his administration would crush the “Omega Agency,” which steals from people, which staged the Sept. 11 attacks, and which may have the ability to vaporize everyone.

JoAnn Carroll’s OLD LAHAINA

Illustration: William Steig

Archaeologists excitedly announced in October that in examining ruins on the Wittenberg, Germany, property of 16thcentury philosopher Martin Luther, they discovered the actual stone toilet on which he composed the manifesto that launched the Protestant Revolution. Luther suffered chronic constipation and thus spent much of his days on the toilet.

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OPED

BY TED RALL

They Die, But Not for Their Country Why soldiers make the ultimate sacrifice

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n Ope Daily 9-6 Sun 10-4

On Veteran’s Day, Kyle Burns of Laramie, Wyoming lost his life in Iraq. At his memorial service, the Associated Press reported, he was remembered “as a marine who died for his country.” Another fallen American was honored in Topeka the same week. Clinton Wisdom, said a reporter for New York’s Channel 13 news, was “a soldier who had died for his country.” There was another service in Belington, West Virginia, for Romulo Jiminez, killed at age 21 in Fallujah. “He not only died for his country, he died for each one of us individually to preserve freedom,” said the funeral director. Wisconsin lost three men in Iraq that week, including Todd Cornel, 38. “What he did was what he wanted to do, and he died for his country, for our freedom,” said his father.

Washington state, and an air raid on Dutch Harbor, a remote U.S. outpost on Alaska’s Aleutian Islands, in which 43 residents died. Japan and Germany’s declarations of war intuitively appear to justify the sacrifice of 291,557 American soldiers in World War II, but were those deaths necessary to defend us? There is no evidence that the Axis intended to invade the U.S., nor did it possess the logistical capability to occupy it. What about avenging an attack, not on U.S. soil, but against an American facility overseas? In 1986 President Reagan ordered bombings in Libya in retaliation for the bombing of a German disco that killed off-duty American soldiers. Moammar Khaddafi’s young daughter, among others, were killed. It’s a stretch to argue that the pilots who bombed Libya were “fighting for their country.”

WE LOST VIETNAM AND MADE A FRIEND. WE WON IN KOREA AND CREATED OUR MOST DANGEROUS ENEMY TODAY. Really? Have any of the Iraq war dead really died for their country? At a time when every other Arab oil-guzzling SUV bears a yellow “Support Our Troops” sticker and probable antiwar liberal Dan Rather “salutes fallen heroes” of Iraq on the evening news, the red-blue divide hasn’t altered traditional perceptions of military service. But with 1,500 U.S. soldiers dead in Afghanistan and Iraq and influential Bushists calling for invading Iran, the question bears asking: What does it mean to fight (or die) for the United States? When we hear that soldiers fight for our country, we immediately think of their role guarding our borders, protecting us from invaders. Yet the U.S. has only been invaded twice, when Great Britain attempted to bring us back into the colonial fold during the War of 1812 and in 1846, when Mexico launched a brief incursion across the disputed Rio Grande. During the ensuing 158 years, no member of the U.S. military has fought or died while repelling an invader. The 9/11 attacks demonstrated that the Pentagon doesn’t consider a foreign incursion a major threat. That’s why they assigned 12 “ground-based” Air National Guard jets to guard the entire country. If you participate in a war of retribution, are you “fighting for your country”? There have only been four attacks on American soil by a foreign power in the last century. All were carried out by Japan during World War II: Pearl Harbor, the now-forgotten submarine strafing of a California oil refinery, balloon-borne bombs dropped without casualties on Oregon and

The truth is, U.S. troops are hardly ever called upon to defend the territory of the U.S. or its outposts—military bases, embassies and consulates. Of the approximately 250 deployments of U.S. armed forces since 1798, the majority have been preemptive actions against possible future threats, or wars of aggression waged to advance American geopolitical interests. More than 80,000 American soldiers died in combat during the Korean, Vietnam and first Gulf wars. True, had the U.S. not gotten involved, a unified Korea might be suffering under the dictatorship of Kim Jung Il and Kuwait could be Iraq’s 19th province. But those problems wouldn’t have been ours. The snuffing out of over 80,000 young lives didn’t do anything to make the U.S. safer, but that wasn’t the point. We lost Vietnam and made a friend. We won in Korea and created our most dangerous enemy today. For one American president after another, winning or losing doesn’t matter. For an empire, military action is its own reward. Our willingness to wage war intimidates adversaries and their neighbors into giving us what we want: cheaper oil, military bases, favorable trading terms. When American sailors invaded the Falkland Islands in 1832, it was “to defend American interests.” Ditto for 1855, when U.S. forces stormed Fiji. Ditto for the 1903 Dominican Republic action (where defending U.S. interests meant suppressing a popular revolution), Honduras in 1911, the Soviet Union in 1918, Lebanon in 1953. The soldiers who fought in those invasions were told they were fighting for their country. Those who lost their lives were called heroes. You get the idea. MTW


SURF&SPORTS

Pleasant Island Holidays

BY BARUKH SHALEV

Basketball, Anyone? Spending a night in the Marshall Islands A lot of Micronesian people live in my neighborhood. Or at least it seems like it. All the employees at the local Jack In The Box are from the Marshall Islands. They are shy. When I ask them where they come from they look at the ground and whisper “Micronesia.” They are visibly impressed if you know where that is. They will smile at you and giggle. Every Thursday night, this small, tightly knit Marshallese community of Maui meets at the Mormon Church gymnasium in Kahalui. There the men engage in rowdy games of basketball while the women show off their babies and gossip. “Well, this was started a year ago,” said Elder Payne. “So we can teach the Marshallese community the word of the Latter Day Saints.” Payne spoke with earnest piety, his hands awkwardly placed on his hips. Here, amongst these Micronesians, the boys from Salt Lake seemed frail and pail. The Marshalls are probably best known for being home of Bikini Atoll, the premier nuclear bomb test site. In 1957, the United States Atomic Energy Commission issued a chillingly-titled report called Study of Response of Human Beings Exposed to Significant Beta and Gamma Radiation due to Fallout from High Yield Weapons on the results of those tests. Watching the basketball game, many of the Marshellese seemed to think that I looked funny. Small children would stare at me and yell “Hello!” over and over. One young girl presented me with a drooling, terrified, screaming infant. Marshallese don’t seem to have the internal paranoia most Westerners have. They share their food readily and quickly offer their babies to non-relatives for coddling. Things are more intimate, communal. Fifteen-year-old Kimiko told me she was from Ebaye, a small Marshallese village. “Most of these people came to go to high school and stuff,” she told me. “Their parents send them here, or to the Big Island and in return the kids go to high school and send money back. They work at McDonalds or whatever. For them that is a lot of money. It’s like a way to repay their parents, you know? “I have been here since 1988,” she continued. “Or 1999, I can’t remember. That’s a long time huh? I want to become a writer. Can you show me how?” Instantly, as if in a race, some guys string up a volleyball net in the center of the gymnasium. Teams are assembled rapidly. But now the girls join in. “Basketball is too hard,” one young mom said as she handed me her child so she could join the match.

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Hello! More children gathered around me. They wanted to see my notes. “What’s that?” asked Milton, a fuzzy haired, chubby-cheeked kid of 14. “Whatchu writin’?” asked another. “Can I see?” “I can’t read it.” “You da news edi-tah?” When an eager player spiked the volleyball, the players—mostly women—squealed, laughed and scattered as if a meteor landed in their midst. The Micronesians certainly like their physical comedy. “Has a volleyball hits you in the butt lately?” one child asked me. “Hilarious,” I said. “How about right in the face?” “Even better.” Hatty told me she is 33. She wore a long brightly colored dress. Kimiko called it “a sleeping dress” and said, “It is not allowed for us to show our knees to men.” As she spoke, Kimiko karate chopped her own bare knee. “We eat with our hands,” Hatty suddenly said, in between mouthfuls of rice. “Can you do it? We will teach you!” The rest of the women told her to be quiet. “Don’t listen to that one,” one of them said, giggling. “You will think that we are primitive people!” MTW

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Mormons at the door Getting religion with Maui’s Latter Day Saints

PHOTOS: SEAN M. HOWER

By Barukh Shalev

10

DECEMBER 9, 2004

COVER STORY

I’m standing with Elder Kyle and Elder Sargent in front of a low slung, gentrified set of apartments on Lower Main Street in Wailuku. They’re “tracting”— knocking on doors, attempting to gain converts. Elder Sargent produces his “Mormon Daily Planner,” which keeps meticulous track of all the contacts, appointments, mileage and phone numbers a missionary will need. “See this,” Kyle says. “We leave a pamphlet at each door, then three days later, we come back to see if they have read it.” I ask him how they know where to go and who to talk to.

“The spirit will tell you where to go,” Sargent says. “Yeah, or we pray and then pick streets from a map. “We can read people like a book,” he continues. “They give us every excuse under the sun. ‘Oh, I’m not religious; Oh, I’m sick; Oh, I’m just on my way out.’ We have heard it all.” “Yeah,” says Kyle, with a shrug, palms turned upward. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” They open their car trunk, revealing a stunning cache of informational videos, stacks and stacks of “contact cards,” The Book of Mormon and other missionary paraphernalia. Then they pray. “Lord in heaven give us the ability to soften hearts,” they pray. “Let us pave the way for many blessings. Bless us with thy spirit to give us what is needed at each door, Jesus. Amen.” Elder Kyle is tall and slender with brown hair. He’s from Utah, and seems timid and cautious. “Out of the 40 houses or whatever on my block,” he says, “all except three, I think, were Mormon.” Sargent, who is blond, stout and wears thick glasses, is originally from Tennessee. He was brought up around Southern Baptist Christians who dislike Mormons. “You know, they think you’re, like, weird or something,” he tells me. “There was a small Mormon community were I lived, but when you’re young, you know, you want to fit in, be part of the crowd, that kind of thing. I used to want to be a journalist, but we Mormons be havin’ a lot of kids. Heh, heh, so you got to make money. Journalists don’t make no money.” Elder Kyle, despite his young age, used to be in real estate. “I made a transaction” he says dryly, “that afforded me the financial possibility to serve on my mission.” We make our way up the stairs to the second floor of the apartments. The Mormons wear their religious books stuffed in the backs on their pants, held securely by their belts. It reminds me of a Maitre’d in a fancy French restaurant. “This is the best pen in the

world,” Elder Sargent tells me, clicking and clacking his ballpoint pen. “Best in the world. Try it. Feel that power. Best pen in the world.” We arrive at one door and knock. “Hello, my name is Elder Kyle and this is Elder Sargent,” Kyle says to the occupant. “We’re from the Church of Latter Day Saints. Have you heard of us?” “Yes,” the occupant replies. “Would you care to hear a message that will change you life?” Kyle asks. “I do not want to be bothered,” the occupant says. “We will leave a flyer and be back in three days.” “I will call the police.” There is nothing easy about being a Mormon missionary. Missionaries are not allowed to visit friends and family during their two-year mission. Missionaries may not date and all contact with the opposite sex is harshly regulated. Missionaries must not watch television, listen to the radio, read “unapproved books.” They’re allowed just two phone calls home per year: Christmas and Mothers day. Missionaries get one day off a week, their prep day, which they use to do personal chores, write emails, go shopping or run errands. Missionaries must listen only to “appropriate music.” The Mormon missionaries live in a small white house on church property in Kahalui. Theirs is a Spartan existence of plain walls, small rooms and minimalist furniture. On the door is a small sign: “No Soliciting.” Each missionary has a “companion” who will be with them for a certain amount of time. They will eat together, sleep in the same bedroom, worship together and relax together. Sometimes this companion is with them for the full tour of duty. In Hawaii, the companions are often shuffled around the archipelago, six weeks here, four weeks there. They love what they do. “I am serving people in the greatest way possible,” one missionary told me. “I know what I am doing is right”

The first thing anyone sees after walking into the Mormon temple in Kahalui is the “Mission Board.” It’s a world map with multicolored pushpins tacked onto far-flung locales. Next to the pushpins are grainy black and white photographs of young men and women smiling beatifically from places like McAllen, Texas, Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, Kowloon, Hong Kong and Wellington, New Zealand. Directly under the map is a message from current L.D.S. “President, Prophet, Seer and Revelator” Gordon B. Hinkley: “I urge you to save and prepare and think of and dream of and pray for the experience of a mission in the Church of Latter Day Saints. Going on a mission is not only a duty, it is an opportunity, it is a privilege.” There is a little mailbox and envelope drawn next to the message from Hinkley. The address on the envelope reads, Anywhere in the World Planet Earth 910-2573

Like Armenians in modern day Turkey, or European Jews in Israel, the Mormon identity has been built around oppression. Their leaders and prophets have been murdered in full view of their constituencies. They have traveled hard lands on horseback, in the dead of winter. Mormons have been both prosperous and indigent. They found their Zion, built their tabernacles and colonized homesteads. Then, just as fast, they were driven from those lands, murdered were they stood. As a group, Mormon identity is linked intrinsically with suffering and hardship. To be a Mormon is to remember leaner days. To be a Mormon is to be quintessentially American. Despite the setbacks inflicted by the United States government, the Mormon relationship with America is mythological and sacred. In the spiritual geography of Mormonism, the Garden of Eden is located in Independence, Missouri and the Mormon creation myth postulates that American Indians were “the first


Mormons.” Thus, the Mormon story is bound up with that of the New World. With the colonization of North America came the culmination of the prophesies of the Book of Mormon. Pre-contact North America is important to Mormons. The Book of Mormon, the scriptures etched onto the golden tablets given to Joseph Smith by the angel Moroni tells of the Laminites, a tribe of American Indians considered by Mormons to be part of the ten lost tribes of Israel. The book declares that centuries before Columbus, Jesus Christ came to preach to these Indians, called the “red sons of Israel” by Mormons and established a Church in North America. This church, Mormons believe, flourished, then fell into apostasy, until it was restored by Joseph Smith in the 1800s. It has often been said Mormonism is the religious version of the American dream. Eschewing original sin while emphasizing individual moral choice, the Church of Latter Day Saints made the revolutionary claim that anyone could have a personal relationship with God. Gordon Wonder is no different. A friendly and baritone-voiced man, stake president Wonder represents about 4,700 Mormons on Maui, Lanai and Molokai. “We have about 42 missionaries serving around the world, in various locations,” he tells me. “And five have received the call that they will be going on missions shortly. It is a difficult lifestyle, both for the missionaries and their parents. My son is on a mission. I can’t visit him and I guess that that would be hard for many families, but for us it’s a point of pride. We are proud of our missionaries and we think they do a good job, especially here in Maui. They have a bond with those they convert. It lasts a lifetime. “Although I was raised Mormon, I sort of strayed from the path a bit,” he continues. “I was like any other kid, I liked to hang out, have fun. When I got married, my wife and I felt we were missing something. We didn’t know what. We had gone to the Church and it all sort of came

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together, made sense. I have been active since that time.” The geographic center of Mormonism is found in the rugged frontier of North America. The dusty plains of Utah, Great Basin ranges of Nevada, the sun-baked dustbowls of Arizona, Wyoming and Colorado give a sort of ideograph of Mormon culture and identity. The social geography of Mormonism is that of small town Utah. The worldwide spread of the Mormon faith is simply the process of a globalized cultural norm. While converts may come from China, Hungary and Brazil, their values and identity reflects the social realities of the frontier West. Yet its religious foundation is Semitic and ancient. The Mormon story tries to connect with the Hebrew story and insert itself into antiquity. Mormons call Utah “Zion” and slander non-believers as gentiles. They see in their journey to Utah similarities to the Jewish Diaspora and subsequent return to Israel. Mormons reckon they have a metaphysical bond with the Jews and the even fancy themselves a lost Hebrew tribe.

In the Mormon temple in Kahului, a message board displays letters, newsletters and other documents of impor-

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Serving on a mission is like working at Disneyland: Cut your hair, shine your shoes and so on. Being a missionary is also a rite of passage, like serving in the Israeli army or making a pilgrimage to Mecca. For Mormons, that means going to the Mormon Training Center in Provo, Utah. There they learn one of the 50 languages the MTC teaches. Later they get instruction on how to convert others, disarm skeptics, dress, talk, act and live. They read religious literature and watch promotional films. And they sing the traditional missionary hymn “Called To Serve.” Called to serve Him, Hean’nly King of Glory Chosen e’er to witness for his name, Far and Wide we tell the Father’s story… Onward, ever onward… Called to serve our King

tance to Mormons. A missionary to Chile, Victor Pamplona writes, I was thinking that when I was at home, I was not fulfilling my call. My advice to the ward is to bring people unto Christ again. His lost [sic] and the ones trying to be found. That means visiting and tracting. I mean it. To be a Mormon missionary is to go through profound change and growth. Religions have always had to have missionaries—not doing so means not growing. But the Mormons have a stunning organizational component to their mission service. Mormonism is a culture where obedience and organization is among the highest of virtues. Numbers are meticulously recorded, members are grouped into various geographical classifications and there are strict regulations on personal issues.

12

DECEMBER 9, 2004

COVER STORY

“When you first go, you’re exited, nervous, you know?” one missionary told me. “You don’t know what to expect. You do your mission and things start to come together. You become more secure in your faith. With each objection and rejection, we become more bonded, more sure of ourselves. Finally, when you come back, you realize how much you have grown as a person. You leave a child and come back a man.” There are over 60,000 Mormon missionaries in the world at any given time, undoubtedly converting people at an astounding rate. The sociologist Rodney Stark estimates there will be approximately 265 million Mormons by 2080. The Church of Latter Day Saints strictly forbids abortions. It’s not particularly shocking that Utah has the highest birth rate in the U.S. In fact, its population growth is greater than Bangladesh. While many of the church’s crisp-shirted, helmeted bicyclists serve within the U.S., many more travel to the third world and South Pacific. While the Mormons’ zeal for converting the natives is considerable and sincere, their enthusiasm wanes when the conversation turns to interracial sex and marriage. For most of the 20th century, African Americans were barred from the priesthood and interracial marriages were considered a sin of the

highest order. It was only in 1978 when blacks were allowed to join. Intermarriage is still considered an unforgivable transgression. How long the Church can maintain this segregation is unknown. When viewed next to the locals’ brown skin and pidgin talk, the missionaries seem woefully out of place. Their blond hair and blue eyes stand out in the land of dusky-skinned islanders. In choosing Mormonism, Hawaiians willfully submit to the coldest kind of imperialism. They lose the only thing that was ever truly theirs: Culture. They lose themselves in a sea of white shirts, skinny ties and bad haircuts. When a person becomes a Mormon, any individuality is annihilated. You become part of a homogonous unit, where independent thoughts and actions are a sin—on the grounds that they are “worldly”—and the puritanical moralism of the American west gets transplanted to the Pacific.

Later, Elders Kyle and Sargent and I are cruising in their white sedan. We’re supposed to visit a young girl who, I am told, was once a Mormon but wants to get back into the swing of things. She is homeless and living with a dozen other young people in a squatters’ settlement near Waiehu. Elder Sargent is driving and pops in a CD: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. “See this?” he asks, handing me the CD case. “See that sticker? That means we can listen to it. It’s approved by the church.” On the lower left side of the case is a little brown and yellow sticker with the Latter Day Saints logo on it. What qualifies it as approved, I ask. ‘Well, you know, no cussin’, no swearing,” he says. “It fits in with our lifestyle. As missionaries we don’t want to be tempted by worldly desires.” What about women? “We save that for later,” he says. “The only relationship we are in now is with God. After the Mission is completed, we find partners.” We pass by a golf course and are approached by an adolescent. He is mentally disabled and collecting golf balls. We slow down and he quickly walks up to the car, giving us a shaka and shaking each of our hands slowly. He is

smiling widely, drooling and squinting at us as if we are miles away from him. “I am Elder Kyle and this is Elder Sargent,” says Kyle. “We’re from the Church of Latter Day Saints…” I roll my eyes. “Do you believe in God?” asks Kyle. Just then, his mother comes to get him, herding the kid back to wherever they came from. “Hi guys,” she says. She is a Mormon as well. We approach the encampment. I notice a sign, supposedly from the “International Court of World Justice:” This property is private and trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law We climb over piles of trash and pass a vicious looking dog tethered inhumanely to a tire swing. “Why would they do this to a dog?” Elder Kyle asks with disdain. “I love dogs.” He looks genuinely hurt by this display. We snoop around the area. “What are they doing?” asks Elder Sargent. “Camping?” “Imagine that,” imagines Elder Kyle. “Just living here!” I could see the envy in his eyes. Watching this, I realize what an adventure this must be for the two of them, and for that matter, all Mormon missionaries. It’s a chance to run around the world, learn new things, sniff around squatters’ lots, be important and make connections. For white bread kids from suburban Utah, to be a missionary is pure adventure. The area, though clearly inhabited by people, seems temporarily abandoned. In the distance, a group of teenagers begins staring menacingly. I realize there are few more recognizable indications of an easy mark than a Mormon missionary outfit. Might as well be wearing neon “kick me” signs. “Nope,” Elder Kyle says. “No one here.” I feel like I am watching an episode of Dragnet, with Elder Sargent as Joe Friday and Kyle as Officer Gannon. They have this synthesized cooperation. They do not bicker or treat each another poorly. “Leave a card,” says Kyle. “We can come back tomorrow.” ‘Sure thing, buddy,” says Sargent. MTW


ONO KINEGRINDS

BY JOE GATTO

Paia’s Small Town Diner Eating for the kids tough choices confronted me. The quesadillas sounded delicious and came filled with either smoked chicken or spinach and cheese. They offer hefty breakfast burritos that they serve all day, but I wanted something new. Eric Bayer, the adult in charge and program director, talked up the tofu burger—how they make them by hand in the morning, mix in spices, onions, peppers and carrots and then coat them in panko. Then they lightly fry it and serve it with a mild salsa and cheese on a sesame seed bun. Coating the bottom of the bun was sundried tomato hummus, giving it some extra zing. It comes with a purple potato salad, which looks excellent, but he gave me a little spicy fried rice instead since I don’t eat mayonnaise. They take the orders at a little lunch counter window, through which the kitchen is visible. But don’t expect your typical beach snack bar—the food here is much more sophisticated and mixes local and mainland styles. They’ve got spam and chili with rice, but also fresh garden salads and vegetarian entrees. For dessert I ordered the banana lumpia. This one had banana with cinnamon, brown sugar and a hint of almond extract, which was deep-fried in an egg roll wrapper and topped with powdered sugar. It smelled so good that

Paia Bay Café is that rare place where you can dine right on the beach in a totally natural setting and still enjoy friendly service, few tourists and low prices. And since it’s attached to the Paia Youth and Cultural Center (PYCC), any money they make helps raise money for the youth and teaches them how to run a small business.

Paia Bay Café

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

28 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8354. Open 11 a.m.-6 p.m. $ Not long ago I followed the big red and yellow sign and walked around the back of the Youth Center to the little deck and bar. The beach is right there, and the palm trees, sea grass, pleasant ocean breeze and kids surfing in the distance create the ideal ambience. At the café, I spoke briefly with a local merchant friend of mine. Then another guy showed up who kept talking about a thing on his leg that I was afraid to look at while eating. It was a lot like any small town diner. I didn’t really know what to expect from the kitchen. A diverse menu full of

I’ll eat it for the kids my friend ordered one. It was a smart move because it was hot, sticky, sweet and divine. The talkative guy with the thing on his leg said it was like a real Jewish blintz, but with banana. I don’t know about that, but it was the best 75 cents I ever spent on dessert at a restaurant. Somebody told Bayer that he could taste in the food the fact that he loves what he is doing. I could taste it, too. Eric Bayer is the program director, chef and restaurant manager for the Paia Bay Café, a complex endeavor considering he’s also teacher and mentor to the kids. “I’m the steward more than the manager,” said Bayer. “The café has evolved on its own, and I allow that. I let the kids know that whatever they

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put into they’ll get out of it and I follow that too.” The café opened May 5 and the kids have really gotten into it. An average of four to six kids volunteer everyday to learn cooking, working the register and general restaurant socialization. Eventually, they’ll learn the bookkeeping side. A Paia delivery service will give interested kids an additional entrepreneurial opportunity. The PYCC system is working and the community can now taste it for themselves. The volunteers usually stick to the same task, but Bayer encourages them to try new things. “We push kids out of their comfort zone and to express themselves through food,” he said. MTW

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Classic Caesar Salad

6.95

Hearts of romaine tossed with home made croutons & Parmesan cheese

Lump Crab, lightly bound and breaded with cornflakes & served with tangy remoulade sauce

●Entrees

Shrimp Cocktail

Turkey Dinner

9.95

6.95

Upcountry greens tossed with papaya, mango vinaigrette, dried cranberries, walnuts & feta cheese

18.95

Six large poached shrimp served with spicy cocktail sauce

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

●Keiki Menu

Prime Rib

Turkey Dinner

10.95

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

Prime Rib Dinner

12.95

Served with mashed potatoes, a jus, horseradish& vegetables

Grilled Cheese

7.95

Hamburger

9.95

Served with French Fries

Pan Seared Onaga

28.95

With a pineapple beurreblanc sauce, rice pilaf and vegetables

Stir Fry

Served with French Fries

24.95

Served with mashed potatoes, a jus, horseradish& vegetables

14.95

An array of mixed vegetables sautéed in a teriyaki sauce served over white rice 16.95 with Tofu with Chicken 17.95

Book your X-mas parties in our fabulous Banquet Room

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779

14

DECEMBER 9, 2004

DINING

Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877–9001. $ Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893–0263. $ Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-2400. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or takeout. 395 Dairy Road, Kahului, 893-0026. $ Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 2447788. $ Café Marc Aurel - Offers an elegantly casual menu, including Gourmet Cheeses, Dolmas, Tzaiki and an extensive By-The-Glass wine list. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao Theatre. 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave, Kahului, 877-3055. $ Curry in a Hurry - Curry dishes that are delightful and delicious in alternative vegetarian eating. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-3328. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. Omelettes, burgers, salads. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 8931628. $ Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 8771414. $$ Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877–7461. $$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977. $$ International House of Pancakes - (IHOP)Open for breakfast, specialty pancakes, sandwiches, along with lunch and dinner entrees. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Kaahumanu Center, 877-5588. Kozo Sushi - Fast food take out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. Sushi platters available. 52 Market Place, Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - This place is known all over the world for its warm, tasty glazed doughnuts. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Mama Ding’s Pasteles - This family owned resturant consist of a variety of breads, coconut papaya bread, apple cinnnamon, Puerto Rican sweet bread. Serving breakfast. Open 7 a.m. - 2 p.m.255 Alamaha, Kahului. 877-5796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella. Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877-4486. $$ Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to take five. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS. $ Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week.

Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and island spices. 275 Kaahumanu Ave, Queen Kaahumanu Mall, Kahului, 871-7726. $ Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also offer catering. 1900 Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the kitchen sink burritos to quesadillas. Casual dining and various piñatas available, too. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877–8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Old time American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - Located inside Wow-Wee Cafe with over 20 years of experience in the food industry. Catering and party trays available. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 873-6400. $ Sandalwood Golf Course Restaurant - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului, 877-0121. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Fast food Chinese with daily specials. All entrees are served with rice or noodles. 70 E Kaaumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, pan fried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market Street, Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Maui’s famous subs since 1990. Coffee, an extensstive list of breakfast bagels, sub Sandwiches and salads. Open M-F 7 - p.m Sat 7-5pm, Sun 7-4pm 395 E. Dairy Rd, 877-8779. Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade corned beef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. Happy Valley, Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke, open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch takeout, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. Also a Hawaiian menu, kava kava, sushi and oxygen bars. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

SOUTH MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable take-out seafood, chicken, ribs—all deep fried tempura style or grilled. 1913 S Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service. Trust me--try the Tiramisu. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$


DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner with burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods and deli sandwiches. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas and Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free on Monday and Saturday. Fuhgeddaboudit! 1945 S Kihei Rd., 875–0188. $$ Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open daily. 1215 S Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 875-1234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 2448844. $$ Buzz’s Warf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns. Reservations recommended. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 2445426. $$ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874--1111.$$ Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224. $$$ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish, daily special. Open for breakfast and lunch. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave, Makowa 572-4877. $ Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S Kihei, 879-4799. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner with omelets, burgers, salads. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. Enrique’s Resturant - Athentic Mexican Food. Fajitas, Seafood, Shrimp Tequilia Fish Tacos, Enchiladas, Tamales, Burritos, Vegetarian. Open M-Sa 10 am - 9pm Su 10 am 8pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd 112. 875-2910. $ Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 8799952. $ Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-woodburning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Breakfast,

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

lunch, pupus and dinner. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607. $$ Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi. Open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizer and “food for gringos,” too. Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical setting and spectacular ocean views. Featuring fresh Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-7831. $$$ Humuhumunukunukuapua’a -Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 S Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is a la carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S Kihei Rd., 875–1007. $$ Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $ Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010. $ Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak and lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677. $$$ Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891–8883. $$$ LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a huge bar and open-air deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $ Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243–2206. $$ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S Kihei Rd., 874–4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, a full service coffee kiosk, fruit smoothies and shakes. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. 2411 S. Kihei Road, Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast served till 3 p.m 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874–1131. $ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879–7224. $$$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps,

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679. $ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner (nightly). 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$ Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award-winning cuisine, early bird and late night special. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879–0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875–7555. $$$ Seawatch - Hawaii regional cuisine utilizing the freshest island fish and produce. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m to 3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, Pork, or Seafood, and veggies. Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd. #120, 875-8366. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. Oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and the best pizza. Awesome outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. Open 11 a.m. - 2 a.m. serving food 'till midnite! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444 $ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including 1/2 lb burgers and deli sandwhiches with 24 T.V.’s, and a full bar. Open 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0602. $ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Tony Roma’s - Famous for ribs, barbequed chicken and onion ring loaf, along with daily special. 1819 S. Kihei Road, 875-1104. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$ Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific Cusine with a blend of Louisiana Cajun and tropical flare. Open 5-10 pm. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 874-8385. $$ K

Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe O’Lei - Featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch, delicious salads, focaccia sandwiches. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Makawao Paniolo Courtyard, 573-9065. $$ Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572–0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940’s style urban bistro serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere with food from Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-winning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572–2666. $ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining. 120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia, 579–8844. $$ Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked artichoke. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-5653. $$$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu and teriyaki all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha’Aina - Ocean front dinning Featuring a delicious chili pork burrito and a large variety of omelets. Island fish, chicken Katsu. Open for breakfast and lunch only Tues - Sat 7a.m. - 2 p.m. Sun 7 a.m. -1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$

Happy Hour Daily From 2-5 PM

$2.50 Well Drinks $3.50 Margaritas $1.50 Bud Lights Watch Your Favorite Sports On Our New Bar T.V.s

Available at:

Fridays

2. Mai Tais 16. Prime Rib Nite $

50

Wednesdays

$

LETTERS

95

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

MAUI COFFEE

ROASTERS

Variety Is Our Specialty 2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

RETAIL & WHOLESALE 444 Hana Hwy. Kahului

877–CUPS DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

“FRESH In YOUR cup within one week of roasting”

Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

DECEMBER 9, 2004

15


DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448. $$$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $ Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily special. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–9999. $ Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–8030. $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742. $ Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and patries around, along with delicious salads, quiches and Gyro’s with a variety of teas. open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. 810 Kokomo Road, Haiku Market Place. 5759588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

WEST MAUI A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines. Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center, 667–0623. $ Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, deep fried tempura style or grilled. Great food great prices. 844 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more. Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily special. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ K Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. Come in for the ambience, stay for the delightful dining experience. 2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali, 662-3210. $$

$

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. Overlooking Lahaina Town with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491. $$ Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600. $$ K Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - Classic baskets of fish and chips. Open daily. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. Mexican food beyond the border. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods like Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more. Open daily. 2580 Kekaa Dr., Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648. Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908. $ K David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi—great steamers! Open nightly with live entertainment. Half off Sushi Sundays. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina, 662-8780. $$ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesian sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific islands. 505 Front Street, Lahaina,

.00

2 OFF ANY PIZZA PIE!

•OFFER EXPIRES 12/31/04 •NOT VALID WITH OTHER OFFERS •MUST PRESENT COUPON

Indoor & Outdoor Dining BOTH with a Great View of the Game

PIZZA • CALZONES HOT & COLD HEROS Phone:

661-6773

Fax:

667-1922

Located in Lahaina Square • Next to Ace Hardware

DELIVERY • 7 DAYS • 11am to 10pm 16

DECEMBER 9, 2004

DINING

667-5353. $$$ Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere and beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old-Hawaiian styled coffeehouse with pastries, smoothies, salads and sandwiches, quiche Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lovers delight. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661–8422. $$$ Island Taco’s - The best soft shell taco’s ever. Choice of beef, fish, pork or chicken. Served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese. onions and jalapenos. Open Late night. 744 Luakini St. Lahaina $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, lounge ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table. 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs And they deliver. Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path surf bistro. Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s signature Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. Dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-4495. $$ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288. $$$ Ma La - Ocean front dinning Organic whole grains cusine, from clams, lobster soup, to chicken tikka, beet & goat cheese salads.Full bar 1307 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 am - 10 pm. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-1929. $$ K Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the Islands. 840 Wainee Street 661-8883 Lahaina (and Napili). $ Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials, merry atmosphere and a large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7758. $ Mr. Sub Sandwiches - Speciality sandwiches made to order, with salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast. Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662–0890. $

EMPLOYEE OF THE

WEEK A S T O L D T O S A R A H E LW E L L

Michael Lee Manager, Ocean Café & Coffee Shop I had been laid off of my job at a coffee shop in Kihei for a while when I came across the position for café and coffee shop manager. I actually work for the Pacific Whale Foundation, as the coffee shop is adjacent to their retail store in the Shops at Ma’alaea Harbor. I get to choose all of the specialty coffee we carry in our store. We always serve Hawaiian grown organic and environmentally safe coffees. Our organic Hana blend seems to be the most popular coffee but my personal favorite is the Molokai Dark. I used to drink a lot more coffee, like one or two pots a day. But then I found out I had cancer in my kidney. Since then I only drink about two 12-ounce cups of organic coffee a day and a lot more water and I’m better now. I’ve lived on Maui for over 20 years but used to be the Senior Food Operations Manager for the University of Minnesota, so I’ve had a lot of food service background. I like to choose very healthy foods to prepare and serve in the café. I’m always looking for new ways to improve the menu. Right now, we serve chicken burritos, breakfast burritos, sandwiches and salads. I make the tuna myself with my own secret recipe. My latest addition to the menu is a veggie wrap that includes spinach, bell peppers, zucchini, and papaya with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. I’m also adding hot-spiced cider to the menu for the holidays. My day usually starts at 4:45 a.m. when I leave my house and pick up fresh produce and supplies. I get to the shop at 5:30 to brew coffee and prepare fresh food daily. My first customers of the day are usually the boat captains in the harbor who start coming in around 6 a.m. for coffee. Around 6:30, people checking in for the snorkel and whale watch trips start coming in for coffee and breakfast, then mall shoppers start arriving around lunch time. My favorite customers are the other people who work in the mall and the harbor. Everyone who works and lives around here is really cool and full of Aloha. MTW


DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizer, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667–1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper mahi mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Casual poolside dining. Now featuring reasonably priced tapasHawiian style menu.for supper and late night dining. 6:30 am-10pm.The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-the-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 665-1822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633. $ Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. Open 7 days a week. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pad Thai - Delicious Påd Thai, among many other items. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina, $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, tossto-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929. $ Plantation House Restaurant - HawaiianMediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $ Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 pm 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 $$$ Roy’s Bar & Grill - This fine dinning restaurant has mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30p.m.10p.m.4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. Kahana 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 661–3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$

Seafood + Pasta = Fuhgeddaboudit!

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawaii’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669–6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669–1500. $$ Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken, sandwiches and hamburgers along with a full bar. Open 11:30 a.m. - 10 p.m. 927 Wainee St. Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private and the Antipasto serves two. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3538. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $ Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$

“WHO HAS

Take Sushi - Open late night for late night sushi lovers. Full menu and daily special. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffet-style rotating menu ranging from “Breakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.” Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814. $ Tropica - Oceanfront dining on Ka’anapali Beach, features sizzling steaks, fresh fish, prepared in variety of styles. Specialty entrees, appetizers and deserts. 5:309:30pm. Westin, Kaanapali, 667–2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and an extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open 7 Days. Delivery 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. 840 Wainee St. Lahaina Square, Lahaina. 6616773.$

SAID A GREAT MEAL TO BE EXPENSIVE ”

Chef M a rk E llma n’s

NEW Happy H 4-6 pm our

NEW

H LUNNC U!

1/2 Pu Great Drink pus Specials

ME

Italian Restaurant

Kihei Kalama Village 1945 S. Kihei Road • 875–0188 Open Every Day For Lunch & Dinner Noon to 10 PM

Beer & Wine Pastas, Salads, Pizzas, Sandwiches and Nightly Seafood Specials with nothing over $12.95 We now have Brown Rice Pasta! Wheat & Gluten Free! 50¢ extra / Cooked to order so it takes a few minutes longer

661-6633 • 180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina LETTERS

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DECEMBER SUNDAY

12

MONDAY

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TUESDAY

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NFL SUNDAYS PARADICE TAHITIAN 10AM TUESDAYS BLUZ CHRISTWILLIE K $2 DRINKS 8PM - $3 COVER MAS PARTY 9PM 19

20

NFL SUNDAYS 10AM LIVE JAZZ WILLIE K 9PM 8PM - $3 COVER

MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE WEDNESDAY

15

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

9

10

11

SESSIONS DJ / DANCING

GOMEGA

THE EASY

9PM

9PM

9PM

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CHRISTMAS CONLIVE BLUES SESSIONS CERT WITH HONBOBBY INGRAM DJ / DANCING OLULU JAZZ 9PM 9PM QUARTET & KELLY COVINGTON

21

22

TAHITIAN TUESDAYS

BOBBY INGRAM

$2 DRINKS

THURSDAY

LIVE BLUES 9PM

23

24

BAD SANTA PARTY 9PM

25

MERRY MERRY SESSIONS DJ / DANCING CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS 9PM

9PM

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com

18

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Hanukkah Thursday, 5:30 p.m. at the Kosher Kafe, 1592 Mill St., Wailuku Sunday, 7 p.m. at the Queen Ka’ahumanu Center in Kahului [RELIGIOUS] During the Hellenic Period, the Jews suffered under the oppressive policies of the Greek Empire. The Greeks forbade the Jews from performing any religious acts while they defiled the most holy of Jewish sites—the Holy Temple or Beit Hamikdash. When the Greeks infiltrated the Holy Temple, all sacred vessels, including the oil used to burn the Menorah, became contaminated. Later, a small group of holy priests led a revolt against the Greeks. They called themselves the Maccabees. Their faith inspired the tremendous courage needed to revolt against the Greeks. After many battles, the Jews reclaimed and rededicated the Holy Temple. When the Jews entered the Holy Temple, the only jug of oil bearing the seal of the High Priest was found hidden under the ground. The oil in the container was only enough to sustain the light in the Menorah for one day. But miraculously, the flames burned for eight days and nights. The Menorah we light today is reminiscent of the golden sevenbranch Menorah that was part of the daily service in the Holy Temple. The Hanukkah Menorah has eight branches plus a ninth place for the shamash (servant candle). In honor of the miracle which occurred with the oil, it is a tradition to eat food fried in oil such as latkes and doughnuts. [Danit Schusterman]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 661-0446 LETTERS

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19


ThIS WEEK’S PICKS by Samantha Campos

Neil Sedaka Thursday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] Oo, I hear laughter in the rain, walking hand in hand with the one I love… Yep, that’s the 1974 Number One hit, “Laughter in the Rain.” Did you know that Neil Sedaka—THE Neil Sedaka—has composed over 1,000 tunes? Songs like “Calendar Girl” (you know, I love I love I love my little calendar girl, every day, every day of the yearrrr! ) and “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” (you said it, Sedaka!) and “Love Will Keep Us Together” (that one Captain & Tenille hit). I don’t know how I know all these songs but I’m starting to feel like one of those late night infomercials so I’m gonna stop now. Tickets are $25-$45, call the box office at 242-7469.

THURSDAY

with

GOMEGA ABSENCE OF VOID

DECEMBER 9, 2004

Friday, 6 p.m. at the Kolealea Retreat Center, Haiku [FUNDRAISER] Well, doesn’t this event look fabulous—and so very Upcountry! Why, there’s a Fire Puja blessing and ceremony with Lama Gyalsten (resident Lama of Maui Dharma Center), pupus, funny lady Nancy Jill Sundberg emceeing, live music, silent auction and an exclusive screening of the film, Buddha Future. Oh wait—it’s only a trailer? I guess that makes sense, since this is a fundraiser for the film project Buddha Future. See, the documentary is hoping to chronicle “the experiences of one American woman on her passionate search to India to discover the possibilities of a peaceful future” through interviews with the kids, which she then takes to eminent “Masters of Peace.” Certainly sounds like a noble idea… or maybe Nobel? Ha! The evening’s festivities take place on the 15th anniversary of His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize. What timing. Kolealea Retreat Center is located at 1120 Kaupakalua Road, Haiku. For more info, call (415) 613-1537 or email thunderboltcreations@yahoo.com.

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

and

Tickets $17.50 available at Maui Tacos locations, Request Music, Groove 2 Music & Hapa’s. Charge by Phone at 877-750-4400 or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Applicable service charges may apply. Special Thanks to Arts Education For Children Group.

20

Buddha Future

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The Laramie Project

Taj Mahal Sunday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] Taj Mahal—we’re talking The Musician here—is famous. Sure, the building is famous, too, but can the building play a blend of country blues, world and Hawaiian music with a nine-piece big band? Can the building play slack key guitar, piano, banjo, bass and fife, as well as sing? Did the building release over 50 albums and win two Grammy Awards? Talentless, no-good building. Tickets are $30-$40 and there will be a dance floor! Call the box office at 242-7469.

Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m. (doors open at 7 p.m.), Iao Theater in Wailuku [THEATER] “The Laramie Project” tells the story of the people and the town behind the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard. The Tectonic Theatre Project from New York set out on the town of Laramie, Wyoming, and interviewed over 200 people, to find out what they were really like. For this play, the Maui Aids Foundation enlisted the help of high school students all over the island to help in the production of the play. The cast of students includes Morgan Lorenzana and Jaime Jackson, current and former Maui Time interns, respectively. Tickets are $15. [KELLIE R. HOLLIDAY]

DAY

Jesse Colin Young Saturday, 2 p.m. at Borders Books & Music, Kahului [MUSIC] Jesse Colin Young has played great music with the likes of Chuck Berry, Carlos Santana and Stevie Wonder for the last four decades. With the Youngbloods in 1967, Young found hippie fame with band’s single “Get Together” (Come on people now, smile on your brother/Everybody get together, try to love one another right now). The song became the theme song for the long-haired left after it appeared in a television public service announcement for the National Council of Christians and Jews. Imagine that—public airwaves used at a time of high-profile assassination, terrorism and murderous Vietnam fighting for telling people to embrace peace. Hey, it’s a living. After a fire destroyed his Northern California home in 1995, Young and his family moved to an organic coffee farm in Kona. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

IN

THE

H EART

OF

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT ! T E T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

HE

“ B E S T L AT E N IGHT I N M A U I ”

WA R D

MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER

TH

BER 11 SAT DECEM

TH

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CE AINBDIOZBAOTTERO SPdA j FERN

S dj SAL &HOUSE AND TRANS TECHNO STIMULATION

PROGRESSIVE

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A Z A R E P O T NEAND HIS BANDOSE’ ORTIZ

dJ AVILES an FUNK E I D D E h D wit LATIN POP AN S @ 9:45PM MUSIC START VER CO $8.00

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com LETTERS

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FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Pecs, Ties and Sit There and Wait Steven Soderbergh’s ode to magazine celebrity What do you get when you put six of Hollywood’s most fabulous stars in a sequel to a remake of a movie that wasn’t very good to begin with? Take your immediately correct answer and imagine Ocean’s Twelve as being twice as bad as you suppose, and you’ll have a good idea of how dreadful Steven Soderbergh’s phoned-in fulfillment of George Nolfi’s scattershot script is. Bland inside jokes, perpetual selfreferencing dialogue, and foreign heists that will put babies to sleep fill up this truncated movie that could only have been made better if it was two hours shorter. Our vacuous thief team are reunited after they’re ratted out by French super-pro burglar Francois Toulour AKA The Night Fox (Vincent Cassel) to casino owner Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) for the Vegas heist we witnessed in Ocean’s Eleven. In order to save their hides by paying off their $160 million debt plus interest to Benedict, Danny Ocean’s (George Clooney) crew heads to Amsterdam to perform an “impossible” robbery made more impossible by the fact that someone beats them to punch.

Although the complex job involves raising an entire building, Soderbergh doesn’t see fit to show the audience what the ostensibly levitating building looks like. This is the first cinematic gyp of many that follow as thick-as-abrick wit substitutes for action.

Ocean’s Twelve

★★★★★ Rated PG-13/130 mins.

It’s telling that George Nolfi’s script was rewritten from a draft called Honor Among Thieves originally intended for director John Woo. For the first 20 minutes of the movie we get a mundane reintroduction to our cast of thieves as they join together to plan a robbery that will enable them to repay their debt. Catherine Zeta-Jones adds a wrinkle to the plot as Isabel Lahiri a hotshot Europol detective romantically attached to Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) when she isn’t trying to solve robberies. Repaying their debt becomes a secondary concern when a recorded message, in the freshly emptied Amsterdam safe they attempt to rob,

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FILM

Damn, I only had three payments left challenges the group to a robbery duel with the best thief in the world. But already the audience has been given too little too late because the glorious heist we’ve been promised is merely a quick and dull misdirection meant to frame a jocular humor among thieves lacking in personality. When Danny Ocean asks one cohort after another if he thinks he looks 50, the pseudo ironic question reverberates in the audience’s mind about Clooney’s actual age (he was born in 1961). It’s a silly moment in the movie that exemplifies the film’s brand of self-referential humor that must seem terribly funny to the actors involved yet utterly petty to an audience member who’s paid $10 to watch a high society caper movie. Steven Soderbergh pulled his flagging career up by his bootstraps with the elegant crime thriller Out Of Sight (starring George Clooney) in 1998, and followed it up with a lesser but still promising effort The Limey. It seemed that Soderbergh was searching for muscularity in his choices that could stand up in the Quentin Tarantino world of charming bad guys. But then he took a running step backwards with the sleepy Erin Brockovich (2000) in which he seemed only concerned with framing Julia Roberts in good light that would reflect

his workability inside the Hollywood machine. It was an unadulterated star-vehicle that pointed out an obsession with celebrity beyond his aspirations for telling stories. With the docu-styled Traffic (2001) Soderbergh seemed to recant the sold-out aspect of his career by tapping into the energy of the British television series Traffik. But much of his success with that movie came from the template he and screenwriter Stephen Gaghan had to work from, and even then the finished product was a messy film that pulled more punches than it allowed to connect. Ocean’s Eleven was embarrassing for the Hollywood cookie cutter success it enjoyed in spite of its less-than-mediocre qualifications. But it did allow Soderbergh to fall flat on his face with Full Frontal (2002) as he had done with Schizopolis (1998), his follow-up to the well-received Gray’s Anatomy (1996). Ocean’s Twelve sinks to a deeper and more insidious level of failure because the movie is so much like an airline magazine. You can turn the pages with bleary jet-lagged eyes and see locations, clothes and pretty faces that tacitly reassure you that you will have a safe landing as you eat your croissant and banana. MTW


SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

New This Week

Castle Theater, 572-3456 See page 24 for showtimes

BLADE: TRINITY – (R) – Action/Adventure/Suspense/Horror – The third and quite possibly--we’re hoping--the last in Wesley Snipe’s ultra-hip vampire series. In this adventure, half-vampire Blade (Snipes) is pursued by the FBI, teams up with a bunch of vampire hunters and goes after Dracula, who I think is the original vampire or something like that. Also stars Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel and Parker Posey, of all people.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Alexander - R - Th (12:10, 12:35, 3:45, 4:15), 7:20, 8, Fr-Su, M-W (12:35), 4:15), 8, Blade; Trinity - R- Th-Fr, M-W (12, 1, 2:30, 4, 5), 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (12, 1, 2:30), 4, 5, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10 Bridget Jones - R - Th (12:15, 2:45, 5;10), 7:35, 9:55, Fr, M-W (12:15, 2:40, 5:05), 7:25, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:15, 2:40), 5:05, 7:25, 9:50

OCEAN’S TWELVE – (PG13) – Action/Adventure/Romance/Thriller/Crime – This is the heist caper that out-heists the previous heist caper Ocean’s Eleven, which in itself was a remake of the horrendously awful Rat Pack-starring Ocean’s 11. This time around, the band of cons and thieves gets together again to rip off someone really rich in Europe to pay off the Vgas casino guy they ripped off in the first movie. Stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts and all the rest.

Christmas With The Kranks - PG - Th, (12:05, 12:25, 2:25, 2:50, 4:45, 5:15), 7:10, 7:40, 9:35, 10, Fr, M-W (12:05, 12:20, 2:25, 2:50, 4:45, 5:10), 7:10, 7:35, 9:35, 9:55, Sa (12:05, 12:20, 22:25, 2:50), 4:45, 5:10, 7:10, 9:35, Su (12:05, 12:20, 22:25, 2:50), 4:45, 5:10, 7:10, 9:35, 9:55

SPANGLISH - (PG13) - Comedy - This James L. Brooks vehicle stars Paz Vega as a beautiful Mexican woman who moves in with an affluent whitebread American family headed by crown prince of evil Adam Sandler. Gold! Also stars Tea Leoni and Cloris Leachman.

Ray - PG13 - Daily(12:45, 3;55), 7:45

The Incredibles - PG - Th (12:30, 12:50, 1:15, 3:10, 3:50, 4:05), Fr, M-W (12:10, 12:30, 12:50, 2:40, 3:10, 3:50, 4:05, 5:10), 6:45, 6:55, 9:20, 9:40, Sa-Su (12:10, 12:30, 12:50, 2:40, 3:10), 3;50, 4:05, 5:10, 6:45, 6:55, 9:20, 9:40 Ocean’s Twelve - PG13 - Fr, M-W (12, 1. 2:45, 4, 5:30), 7, 8:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (12, 1, 2:45), 4, 5:30, 7, 8:15, 9:45 Shall We Dance? - PG13 - Th (12:20, 2:40, 5:05), 7:25, 9:45, Fr-W 7:40, 10 Spanglish - PG13- Sneak Preview Sat only 7:30

KA’AHUMANU 6 Jessica Biel kills bloodsuckers

Now Showing

someone who... dunh duh!... held a grudge ALEXANDER – (R) – Action/Adventure – Oliver Stone’s big war epic, this stars Colin Farrell as the world’s most famous conqueror and Angelina Jolie as his equally ambitious mother. What can be said—the guy took over the known world by the time he was 32. Not much to it really, except possibly that he, you know, really enjoyed the company of men. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but he did call his soldiers “Companions.” I’m just saying. Also stars Val Kilmer and Anthony Hopkins. BRIDGET JONES: EDGE OF REASON – (R) – Romantic Comedy – A continuation in following the neurotic trials and insecure tribulations of kinda plump and totally British Bridget (Renée Zellweger) as she thinks and talks to death her perfect relationship with stable Mark (Colin Firth) and her questionable, ego-conqest relationship with former smarmy boss, Daniel (Hugh Grant, who else?). CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS – (PG) – Comedy – Imagine a year without Christmas. That's just what Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora Krank ( Jamie Lee Curtis) have in mind when they decide that they'll skip the holiday altogether, despite the fact that they're usually the most fanatical about it. So for something different this year. they decided to join their daughter (Julie Gonzallo)—who’s away in the tropics—as a surprise. But when their daughter surprises them by cutting her trip short and returning home for Christmas, there's a mad scramble to prepare themselves to have the traditional Christmas fanfare on extremely short notice. No tree, no decorations or gifts. Bah Humbug!!! THE GRUDGE – (PG13) – Horror – You know how your mama told you never to hold a grudge? Well, this little horror flick sets out to prove that point further as Sarah Michelle Gellar finds herself in a cycle of unresolved fury and a curse born of

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

THE INCREDIBLES – (PG) – The Incredibles' follows the adventures of a family of former superheroes rediscovering the true source of their powers - in one another. Once one of the world's top masked crimefighters, Bob Parr (AKA Mr. Incredible) fought evil and saved lives on a daily basis. But fifteen years later, he and his wife Helen (a famous former superhero in her own right) have been forced to take on civilian identities and retreat to the suburbs. Voices by Craig T Nelson, Samuel Jackson, Holly Hunter. NATIONAL TREASURE – (PG) – Action/Adventure – Nicholas Cage and Diane Kruger star in this quest to find some incredible treasure hidden by our nation’s founding fathers, who were nice enough to plant clues on the back of $1 bills. Sean Bean, as usual, plays a “ruthless adversary” in their search to unlock the secret to what the movie calls a 2,000-year-old mystery. Sounds great—wait, 2,000? Um, isn’t the country just—wait, let me get my calculator—228 years old? So it’s a 228-year-old mystery, right? Well, that doesn’t sound like such a big deal. THE POLAR EXPRESS – (G) – Family, Animated – A boy struggles to believe in Santa Claus as all his friends and schoolyard chums make fun of him for being so gullible. Stupid chums. But then a giant steam train pulls up to his house to take him to the North Pole. Oh my God, it’s a ghost train! Run and hide! Oh wait, it’s just the 5:15 in from Baltimore. Late as usual…

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910

Chucky,' killer dolls Chucky and Tiffany are now faced with the challenge of raising their child, Glen (Boyd), becoming a family of killer dolls.

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE – (PG) – Family/Animation – The inevitable movie version of the popular Nickelodeon cartoon of the same name, this ostensible kids’ movie about a talking sponge and his starfish buddy who work in a hamburger joint has a surprising amount of thinly-veiled homoerotic humor. They call their world Bikini Bottom, people! Do I have to spell it out for you? Also stars David Hasselhoff as himself.

A&E

FILM

Polar Express - G - Daily (12:30, 1:15, 2:45, 3:30), 5, 7:15, 9:30, Seed Of Chucky - R - Daily 5:45, 8, 10 SpongeBob - PG - Daily (1, 3:30), 5:30, 7:30, 9:35

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Alexander - R- Daily (1), 4:30, 8, Blade: Trinity - R- Th (1:15), 4:15, 7, Fr-Sa (1:15), 4:15, 7, 9:30, Su-W (1:15), 4:15, 7 Christmas With The Kranks - PG- Th (1:45), 5, 7:30, Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:30, 9:40, Su-W (1:45), 5, 7:30 The Incredibles - PG - Th (1:30), 4:45, 7:15, Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7;15, 9:40, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 7:15

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Alexander - R - Th (4), 8, Fr, M-W (4), 8, Sa-Su(12), 4, 8 Bridge Jones - R - Th only 4:30, 7, 9:15

8*

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The Incredibles - PG - Th (4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Fr, MW (4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4;15, 7;15, 9:45 Ocean’s Twelve - PG13 - Fr, M-W (4), 7, 9:40, SaSu (1), 4, 7, 9:40 Polar Express - G- Fr, M-W (4:30), 7;30, 9;55, SaSu (1:30), 4;30, 7;30, 9:55 SpongeBob - PG - Th only (4:45), 7:30, 9:30,

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 Blade: Trinity - R- Th-Fr, M-W (2, 4:45), 7:30, 10, Sa-Su (11:15, 2), 4:45, 7:30, 10 Christmas With The Kranks - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (11, 1:30), 4;15, 7:15, 9:30 National Treasure - R - Th-Fr, M-W(1, 4), 7, 10, SaSu (1), 4, 7, 10

SEED OF CHUCKY – (R) – Comedy and Suspense/Horror - Following the events of 'Bride of

DAY&NIGHT

The Grudge - PG13 - Daily (12:40, 3), 5:15, 7:35, 9:50 National Treasure - PG - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:05, 9:45

SHALL WE DANCE? – (PG13) – Drama, Musical This movie reads like an after-hours flick on cable: “An overworked Chicago accountant (Richard Gere), tired of the boring routine that his life has become, sees a beautiful dance teacher (Jennifer Lopez) through a window and decides to get to know her better, and as the joy of dancing enters his life, he discovers that it might just be the secret to saving his troubled marriage...” (Greg’s Previews, Yahoo Movies!)

RAY – (PG13) – Musical Drama – The story of Ray Charles, blind from age seven, who famously merged Gospel, jazz and rhythm and blues music, all while fighting drug addiction and Southern segregation, eventually becoming one of the greatest American pianists of the 20th century. Stars Jamie Foxx and Regina King.

DINING

After The Sunset - PG13 - Daily (12:35, 2:50), 5:05, 7:20, 9:45

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 9, 2004

23


FILMFESTIVAL

First Light Academy Screenings on Maui

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Dec. 15

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2 p.m. - The Notebook

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A stellar cast including Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, James Garner, Gena Rowlands, Joan Allen, Sam Shepard and James Marsden star in this sweeping and timeless romance spanning more than 50 years. Rated PG-13. 124 min. (New Line)

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Leonardo DiCaprio stars as legendary aviation pioneer, Hollywood producer and compulsive lady’s man Howard Hughes. Other legends in this, Martin Scorsese’s latest epic, include Academy Award-nominee Cate Blanchett playing Katherine Hepburn, Kate Beckinsale portraying Ava Gardner and No Doubt’s Gwen Stephani making her big screen debut as Jean Harlow. Rated PG-13. 170 min. (Miramax)

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This inspirational 2004 Sundance Film Festival Documentary Audience Award winner recounts the personal growth and joy sprouting amidst the challenges of daily life for children of the prostitutes of Calcutta’s red light district after being provided the opportunity to explore their world through photography. Unrated. 83 min. (THINKFilm)

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7:30 p.m. - P.S.

NEW MENU! NOW SERVING BREAKFAST SAT & SUN MON-FRI 11AM-2AM SAT-SUN 8AM-2AM

The Notebook

24

DECEMBER 9, 2004

FILM

Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirstin Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood and Tom Wilkinson star in this exploration of the repercussions that ensue when former lovers try to erase each other from their memories. Rated R. 108 min. (Focus Features)

5 p.m. - Born into Brothels

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Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd star and Natalie Cole, Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, Diana Krall, Alanis Morissette and Robbie Williams are featured performers in this sparkling celebration of Cole Porter’s music that is also a stirring exploration of the artist’s journey and the undying power of love. Rated PG-13. 125 min. (MGM)

7:30 p.m. - The Aviator

OVER - $7 C 10pm

/13

Maui Film Festival First Light screenings will run from Dec. 15 through Jan. 2. Many of these films will be showing here in advance of Hawaii or even nationwide openings. The screenings also include a showing for every worthy Academy Awards contender. All screenings will take place at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. Tickets are $10 per film or $5 for children under 12.

Academy Award nominee Laura Linney plays a university admissions officer and Topher Grace plays a confident New York art-school applicant. They star, alongside Academy Award winner Marcia Gay Harden and Gabriel Byrne, in this smart, sexy romantic dramedy about a thirtysomething given a second chance at first love. Rated R. 97 min. (Newmarket)


ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SARAH CALLENDER

DreadStarr Are they a model for a new United Nations? In the grand musical tradition of Southern California’s famed fusion bands Sublime and No Doubt, DreadStarr combines reggae, hip-hop, rock and dancehall to make sunny day music befitting a surf video or an episode of MTV’s Laguna Beach. Their first single, “Raise Ya Hands,” captures the sound of a place where the weather is always perfect, the houses are made of stucco and the girls are Sweet Valley High hot. But members Darren Neville Simms (lead vocals), Chris Evans (guitar), Oren Valderi (drums), and Alonso Vargas (bass) want their music to provoke. “We want to create uplifting music and try to inspire,” they say. “Take all the energy and mix it up with lyrics that mean something.” Yup, they said that. To me. Okay, just one member of the band actually said it, but I was interviewing them in a conference call format and, to be honest, I lost track of whether it was Simms or Valderi or one of the other guys who was talking to me. But they all seemed to agree on what the others were saying, so I’m just going to attribute their statements to the band as a whole. Formed in 2003, DreadStarr members say Ben Harper and Jack Johnson influence their music. Their lyrics, they say,

“send a positive message and [teach] people to make conscious decisions.” But don’t call them flag-burners just yet. “We’re not political, just positive,” they claim. “[We want] the youth to know that the decisions they make today affects the rest of their lives.” Music aside, DreadStarr generates the most positive message through their sheer existence. A veritable United Nations (one that actually works, that is) the four young members hail from Costa Rica, England, Israel and the U.S. “We’re all together and we’re all best friends,” they noted happily. “Just the fact that we all met up in the first place and we’re able to create something so special together is amazing. From seeing us bond together, hopefully other people will get the idea.” And their backgrounds aren’t the only things that separate them. Each member of the band has a radically different day job. Vargas is a manager at a surf shop, Evans is a waiter, Valderi runs an entertainment and marketing company and Simms works for big defense contractor Northrop Grumman. The band says it’s bonded exceptionally well since they all met through surfing and common friends in the music industry. “It was remarkably easy,” they said. “The first time we played together, we had 10

Dreadstarr Dec. 10 at Hapa’s, 41 East Lipoa St., Kihei 879-9001; Dec. 11 at the SandBar and Grill, 89 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8742. songs.” They use this multilateralism to create their music. It helps that each member has been playing music practically since gestation. For instance, Simms is the son of Neville Staple of the Specials. Until joining DreadStarr, he toured and recorded music with his father. Evans has been playing guitar since he was 12, Vargas the bass since age 13 and Valderi first played the drums in his sixth grade music class. DreadStarr has already played throughout California, but this tour—which begins on Oahu and culminates at the SandBar and Grill in Paia—marks the first time the band has played in Hawaii. The group hopes to eventually tour outside the U.S. “Our goal is to create killer music that people can relate to and grasp onto, to play the largest stages we can experience, and we want to travel the world,” they said. Considering the response to DreadStarr so far, they may be able to soon. MTW

WRITERS WANTED MauiTime Weekly seeks Freelance writers to cover stimulating community interest stories.

Send resume & samples to: 658 Front Street. #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 fax: 661-0446 email: editor@mauitime.com

E E V I V E L I V L I L SIIC C C S U I U S M MU M

S CH RPUP CRUNN 9 OVE / C 2 O 1 Thurs BOX N JUKE E P O 0 Fri 12/1 BERTS NNY RONDS E K 1 & FRIE Sat 12/1 THE D HALE & A V RBAN 2 E V Sun 12/1 HOT LNA O C O NIGHT D N MO ATYBALL! 3 1 / 2 1 O FO Mon ITE! E BOX N K U J 4 1 Tues 12/ OORE JOHN M T E 15 PROJ C Wed 12/

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3pm - 6pm 2411 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0602

VOTED BEST SPORTS BAR ON MAUI!

In the act of bonding

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 9, 2004

25


thursday

12/09

BADA BING

friday12/10

saturday12/11 sunday12/12

monday12/13 – wednesday12/15

Pono Players, Comedy Improv $15, 8pm

1945 S Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

BLUE LAGOON

TUE - Carroll Brothers No cover, 7 pm-10pm

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8141

Industry Night, DJ No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, 10pm; TUE - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata 10pm; WED - Soul Concept W/ Curtis Williams, 10pm, No cover

BOCALINO

Merv Ohana/Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin Night No cover, 10pm

The Gina Martinelli Band $5, 10pm

CASANOVA

Progressive Thursday $5, 9pm

Space Ibiza, DJ $8, 9:45

Neto Peraza & His Band $8, 9:45pm

WED - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm

No information available

No information available

Wed - Sunn Lounge w/ DJ Sal /Lucky & Kev, $5 9pm-1:30am

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS Neil Sedaka - Tonight! For almost five decades, Neil Sedaka’s timeless standards have entered the lexicon of popular culture and helped change the face of popular music. Hit singles such as “Breaking Up is Hard To Do,” “Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen” and “Laughter in the Rain” are among the 1,000-plus songs penned and/or performed by Neil. Tickets: $45, $38, $25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Strike the Harp & Join the Chorus - Saturday. The Maui Concert Chorus, Youth Chorus and special guest soloist Debra Lynn, soprano, for an uplifting evening of singing, harps, glass harp, chamber ensemble and much more, including a guest appearance by Damon Myers, baritone. Michael Titterton of Hawaii Public Radio will be the Guest Narrator. Tickets: $35-$25-

$15. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Taj Majal - Sunday. One of music’s most celebrated contemporary blues artists, both on his own merit and in league with many famous collaborators! A Grammywinning performer and songwriter, Taj has enraptured several generations of audience with his remarkable voice, which ranges from gruff and gravelly to smooth and sultry. Tickets: $40-$35-$30. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

TICKETS ON SALE Matt Haimovitz - Dec 19. Haimovitz manifests a serious approach to the work, but his warm demeanor and natural expressiveness draw all audiences to share in his passion for the music. He is equally at ease playing the masterworks in the world’s concert

halls or in pubs, clubs and pizza parlors. Haimovitz is a celebrated performer, teacher and record label entrepreneur. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Pepper - Dec 29. Hawaii’s hottest punk-reggae sensation. Back for a winter party Maui’s local favorites Gomega and Absense Of Void. Tickets: $17.50. Lahaina Civic Center, Lahaina. 808 593-8333. Howie Mandel - Dec 29. Howie Mandel’s versatile career has encompassed virtually all aspects of the entertainment spectrum, ranging from television, film and stage. From his work on St. Elsewhere to the Emmy nominated Bobby's World, Howie has become a mainstay of the American comedy scene. Tickets: $45-$35-$25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 2427469. Mikey Dread - Jan 1. One of the most influential performers and innovator in Reggae music. Through out the years Mikey has been making impressive and captivating live performances with the Fully Fullwood Band across Hawaii and California. Tickets: $20. 9 p.m. Hapa’ s Night Club. 41 E Lipoa St Kihei. Shanghai Circus - Jan 3-4. A perennial favorite for audiences of all ages. Born of a 2,500-year Chinese tradition of athleticism and artistry, the Shanghai Circus features acrobats, jugglers, contortionists and other skilled performers who dedicate their life to the achievement of physical excellence. Witness astounding feats of balance, breathtaking acts of body-bending, and daring displays by knife-throwers and plate spinners all staged with traditional Chinese props and

themes and highlighted by dramatic lighting and music. Tickets: $22- $16-$10. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Stomp - Jan 6-8. The legendary show takes the everyday sounds of newspapers, brooms, lighters and garbage pail lids and creates the extraordinary! There's no speech, no dialogue, not even a plot—just everyday objects used in non-traditional ways by rhythmically gifted, extremely coordinated bodies in a movement of objects and sound. And the result is just phenomenal. Tickets: $55, $45, $32, $10. 7:30 p.m. (Thu-Fri-Sat), and 2 p.m. (Sat only), Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Joe Cocker - Jan 9. Known first for his landmark hit, a character-driven version of the Beatles song “A Little Help From My Friends,”Joe Cocker has survived it all, from the Woodstock Festival and the Mad Dogs & Englishmen Tour through the New Millennium. His distinctive raspy-voiced versions of “Delta Lady,” “Feeling Alright,” “The Letter” and “You Are So Beautiful” are Rock Classics. Tickets: $58-$48-$38. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Louis Hayes & The Cannonball Adderly Legacy Band - Jan 13. Jazz drummer Louis Hayes has been generating an impressive range of dynamic expression since his association with the great jazz bands of the 1950s and 1960s and he’s still one of the swinging-est stickman in modern jazz. This current line-up harkens back to Julian Edwin "Cannonball" Adderly, one of the progenitors of the swinging, rhythmically robust style of music that became known as

Tired of Shopping? Come In For Our

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DECEMBER 9, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

Early Bird Special

Prime Rib $1095 4-7 pm daily


thursday12/09

friday12/10

saturday12/11 sunday12/12

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI

monday12/13 – wednesday12/15

Open Mic Night w/ Mike Carroll 9pm

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Flavor Zone 9pm

Hononua,Cool Rush, Dread Star 9pm

Ladies Night Out 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

MON - Willie K TUE - Ultra Fab Tuesday, w/Fat Joe, 9pm; WED -DJ Fat Joe, 9pm

Maui Dive Shop X-mas Party 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm,

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

Habanero Brothers No cover 9pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

Lonnie & Digable Allstars No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli No cover, 6-9pm

Da Hawaiians 6:30pm

Kenny Roberts 7:30pm

El Nino 7pm

Habanero Brothers 6:30pm

Cruz’n Fridays, Live Music $5, 10pm

Copacobana Night, $5, 10pm

Karaoke w/James 10pm

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

MON - Steve Mendoza, 7pm, TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 7pm

DA KINECALENDAR Kathy Collins with Willie K in “Tita Out... One Mo'Time” - Jan 14-15. Part of the Talk Story Series, local actress and radio DJ Kathy Collins returns with her alter ego “Tita” and special guest Willie K. Enjoy an evening of humor, storytelling and song… local style. Spooky stories, Hawaiian legends, Willie K's amazing musical artistry, all laced with "plenny pidgin" and lots of laughs. Chicken skin, garans-ballbarans! Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Warren Miller’s Impact - Jan 14. Snow comes to Maui! Jeep and Warren Miller present the latest release in extreme snow-sports films. Travel the globe to discover the steepest slopes and the skier and snowboarders who are brave enough and skillful enough to traverse them. Tickets $10. Sports Expo at 5:30 p.m, Show at 7:30 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Pilobolus - Jan 20. The freshest combination of performance art to crawl, leap, roll, ripple, glide or morph its way across the stage, Pilobolus is a dance company of international influence, acclaimed for a perfect mix of humor and invention. “Exuberant physicality” is their hallmark, as the dancers bend and twist, pose and shape themselves into forms that are at once thoughtful and awe-inspiring living human sculpture. Combining dance, acrobatics, theater and mime. Tickets: $28-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Halau O Kekuhi & Tau Dance Theater In Hanau Ka Moku - Jan 22. The program tells a story of the birth of a new island off the coast of a Hawaii called Kama‘ehu: Mountain child of Haumea earth and Kanaloa sea. Kumu Hula Pualani Kanaka‘ole Kanahele and Nalani Kanaka`ole joined forces with PeterRockford Espiritu for this inspired production. Tickets: $38-$25-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242SHOW. An Acoustic Evening with Lisa Loeb - Jan 23. A contemporary singer/songwriter who positively rivets audiences with her characteristic blend of melodic, intimate songs, sharpened with a rock edge. One of the most-respected female musicians of her generation, she was the first unsigned artist to reach Billboard's No. 1 spot with her smash gold single "Stay (I Missed You)." She’s also known for her hit "And I Do" as well as her role at the forefront of the ground-breaking Lilith Fair. Tickets: $28 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Jake Shimabukuro - Jan 28-30. Jake Shimabukuro pushes the boundaries of the ‘ukulele into previously undiscovered country with a mind-boggling exploration of music from finger twisting classics to Hawaiian favorites and jazz improvisation. He is truly a new breed of ´ukulele player, blending the sweetness of traditional Hawaiian music with the showmanship of arena rock, combining lightning fast technique with great aloha. He’s also the winner of multiple Na Hoku

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Hanohano awards, including Favorite Entertainer of the Year. Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

EVENTs

Lahaina, 661-4811.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11 Spirited Woman Workshop - Sat 1 p.m. - 4 p.m., at Ali'i Kai Goddess Temple, Huelo. Sun 1 p.m. - 4 p.m at Ka’anapali Shores, Lahaina. For the first time ever this popular three-hour workshop is coming to Maui. Join in creative playfulness, self-expression, fun. For info, call 888-428-1234. Strike the Harp and Join the Chorus - 7:30 p.m-10 p.m. at MACC. A holiday celebration with the Maui Concert Chorus and Maui Youth Chorus with special guest soloist Debra Lynn, along with soprano, singing, harps, glass harp, chamber ensemble and more, including a guest appearance by Damon Myers, baritone. Guest Narrator will be Hawaii Public Radio's Michael Titterton. For info, call 242-7469 Celebrate The Holidays - 10 a.m - 3 p.m. at Maui Market Place. Live Remote with Emcee from KPOA Island Sounds. Live entertainment by Cool Rush, along with a craft fair by many of Maui’s talented crafters. Free pictures with Santa Claus, giveaways. For info, call 873-0400. Home For The Holidays Open House - 12 - 4 p.m. at The Maui Humane Society Kihei. Mike Arms is the keynote speaker for this year’s event. Along with pictures with Santa, refreshements will be served. This years goal is 300 adoptions. For info, call 877-3680.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 15 Maui Police Department's Auction - 9 a.m. at the War Memorial Gymnasium. Auction of Bicycles & Mopeds. Minimum payment on any item is $5. Payments must be in cash, cashier's or certified check. Personal checks will not be accepted. For info, call 270-6531.

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Mario, Fri - Sat, 2:30 -5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 2:30-5:30 p.m; 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495. Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Cafe O’Lei - Steve Sargenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm; Greg Di Piazza, Wed 6-9 pm., 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Darrin Lenett, Fri. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu & Mon The Whale Shark Erik Pietsch. 7 p.m. Howard Ahia Fri-Sun, 6:30 - Close. Hau Phat, Wed. 7 - 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon,Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thur, Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien, Tue; E rnest Puaa, Sun-Wed; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474. Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Don, Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thur; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; Kawika Lum and Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Acoustic Music with Mike Fri-Sat only 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 6670787. Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399. Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St.,

SOUTH MAUI

Bada Bing - Hilarious improv comedy with The Pono Players. Dinner & Show, $35. Seating 5:30-7 pm 1945 S. Kihei Rd. in Kihei 875-0188. Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Fri, Mon Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo Sat Braddah Frances and friends 6:30 p.m. Sun Terri Garrison 4 - 6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844. Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224. Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Frankie Sez... This week on ‘North Shore’

Nicole and Jason are still in rough waters from last week. Gabe’s surfing career really seems ready to take off, except he’s far more skilled at swimsuit modeling. Chris is leaving for the Big Island and, as if nothing else can go wrong in MJ’s life, her dad shows up and messes things up even more. A hot New York chef has his eye on Nicole—she declines a date but then ends up having to cook with him. Alex gains a new partner, but—naturally—only after some shady business. And Frankie and Tessa are hot and heavy. Jason and Nicole? Not so much,which is exemplified by the rejected marriage proposal.

By Kellie R. Holliday

hard-bop. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

Line of the Week “Come on Nicole, get cookin’!” -Alex to Nicole

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 9, 2004

27


thursday12/09

friday12/10

KIMO’S

saturday12/11 sunday12/12

TBA

Crazy Fingers 10-pm 12am

Karaoke 9:30pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

monday12/13 – wednesday12/15

LIFE’S A BEACH

DJ Nexus No cover, 9pm

Funky Monkey Rock Band No cover, 9pm

Illifino No cover, 9pm

Free Karaoke No cover, 9pm

MON -Open Jam w/Adam 9pm, , TUE - Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm, WED- Guy’s Night Out, 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm, No cover

DJ Shark In The Water No cover, 9pm

Jamie Lawrence & Friends No cover, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LOBSTER COVE

100 Ike Dr., Wailea - 879-7677

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 891-8883

Willie K $10, 10pm

DA KINECALENDAR Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041. Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, , dinner and show. 8- 10p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., Mon Gypsy Pacific 8-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6 -9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour $3 specials along with live local entertainment. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 4-6 p.m. Everyday. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon;

Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Jazz. Sun Anik 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799999.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, Wed,- Sun 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei 874-8385.

RESORT SHOWS

CENTRAL MAUI

WEST MAUI

Mañana Garage – Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz; Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

5 p.m.120 Hana

Livewire Cafe - Various Artist Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. Moana Cafe - Vintage Hawaiian Music Wed, Fri Live

Swan Court. The Blue Note Swing Orchestra, Dancing nightly to Swing.Tue,Th, Sat, 2 p.m.- 4 p.m. Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

FRIDAYS IN DECEMBER

Booty Shake Fridays with DJs John Scott & Element “All the Hits-Top 40 R&B” $5 COVER

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200

MARTY DREAD

Kapalua Indoor Amphitheater Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Tues 6 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate. Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 $5 COVER

HAPPY HOUR! 3-6pm & 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

DA KINE CALENDAR

Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

$3 Red Stripes

DECEMBER 9, 2004

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500

MONDAY NIGHT REGGAE

with

28

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200

"Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly. Sheraton Maui Hotel

2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly. The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon & Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri. 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue & Thu, and Wed& Sat 7- 9p.m.

SOUTH MAUI

Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly. Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 Live Music nightly Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly. The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Wow-Wee Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill: Marty Dread Kava & BBQ Party. Every Sunday 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. All age welcome. 333 Dairy Road, Kahului, 873-7133.


thursday12/09

friday12/10

Merv Ohana No cover, 8pm

The Whillys No cover, 8pm

Larry Council Band No cover, 8pm

Service Industry Night, No cover, 9pm

MON - Monster Mondays, No cover; TUE - Tini Tuesdays, No cover; WED - Karaoke night w/Tyrone, No cover, 8-11pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Juro No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Mackie Mac; TUE - DJ Mackie Mac, $5, 9pm; WED - Anastia & Nils, No cover, 6pm-9pm DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Wailea Nights 8 pm

Wailea Nights 8 pm

Murray Throne 9pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7 pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm TUE- Accoustico, No cover, 7:30 pm WED - No Entertaiment

NEPTUNES

Lake McClain No cover, 10pm

Hu Phat No cover, 10pm

Adam Bowen No cover, 10pm

Mon - Kahlea No cover 10pm, TUE - Smooth Tuesday w/ Curtis Williams, No cover, 10pm WED - Jarid, No cover, 10pm

PACIFIC’O

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Gomega $5, 9pm

The Easy 9pm

Willie K 8-11pm

MON- Christmas Party TUE - Tahition Tuesday, $5, 9pm WED - Live Blues W/ Bobby Ingram, $5, 10pm- 1 am

LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-2555

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Sessions $5, 9pm

PARADICE BLUZ 744 Front St. 667-5299

saturday12/11 sunday12/12

monday12/13 – wednesday12/15

DREAMBOAT

ee Sw

Lif e

Fr u

it

.

Keyboards, guitar & vocal harmonies Available as an acoustic or full-band sounding duo, trio, or live full band for parties, weddings, conventions, and night clubs

Custom Tattoos

t

Co

Launch your event with an excellent array of popular rock n’ roll, world, and blues from classic rock to modern hits.

Pain Free

Gift Baskets• Fruit Baskets• Flowers

Featuring:

Felix & Jaxon

Delivered on Maui and now Shipping WORLDWIDE.

12pm-10pm Daily

(808)27-SWEET(277–9338) SweetlifefruitCo@aol.com

Contact Steven Line, or Priscilla Sanders at 573-2736 or islanddreambands@yahoo.com

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

s r

r

TM

VISIT US AT www.mauifruitbasket.com

Gift Cards for the Holidays Now Available!

Serving Lunch & Dinner 7 Days A Week Located on Front Street in Lahaina Overlooking the Banyan Tree, Upstairs in

The Wharf Cinema Center

667-0908 LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

At Mala we strongly believe in fresh wholesome ingredients. We buy Organic, when possible. We believe in Whole Grains, No preservatives. We believe that Hydrogenated oils are not good for the body. We believe in handmade. We believe in balance-we offer you carbohydrates, proteins, sugars, salt, and fats all in smaller, balanced portions. We offer you many choices of enjoying what we call Small Plates.

Mahalo, Mark & Judy Ellman

1307 FRONT STREET • 667-9394 DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 9, 2004

29


thursday12/09 SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

friday12/10 saturday12/11 sunday12/12

DJ Durty & Miah No cover, 9pm

Vince Esquire $5, 10pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Dread Star $7, 10pm

Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali - 667-4727

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd - 874-6444

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Habanero Brothers $3, 9pm

EL Dogs $3, 9pm

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Open Mic Night W/ Jered No cover, 9pm

MON - North Shore Sextet, No cover, 9pm; TUE- No entertainment WED - Lawai’a, No cover, 10pm

Chad Benz, DJ No cover, 10 pm-2am

MON - ED V, DJ, No cover, 10pm, TUE- Bad Ass Tony, DJ, No cover, 10pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

MON - Monday Night Football, No cover; TUE - Juke Box Nite No cover; WED - John Moore Project, 9pm

DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

monday12/13 – wednesday12/15

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

DA KINECALENDAR EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

ART “Tropical Breeze”: A collection of Mitsuyo’s St. Klairs - Mon thru Jan. 2, at Lahaina Banyan Tree. The show features St. Klair’s oil and mixed media paintings, monotypes and digital photography. Claudia Coonen will be the featured 3-D artist, showcasing handwoven baskets. For info, call 874-5666.

KEIKI Kahului Public Library Story Time - Fri, 10:30 a.m. 11 a.m. At Kahului Public Library. Story time with Grandma Alyce. Stories and fingerplays for toddlers & preschoolers. Free. Call 873-3097. Keiki Hula Halau Practice - Sat 9 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. at Outrigger Wailea Resort. Guests may view a local keiki hula halau learn and practice this time-honored dance For info, call 879-1922

LECTURES Random Acts, - Sat, 6:30 p.m. at the Studio Maui in the Haiku Marketplace just next to Hana Hou Restaurant. The pre-show festivities begin with wandering music, belly-dancing elves and free hot apple cider. This holiday extravaganza--belly-dancing elves?! It’s a free country--will feature a diverse program of hula, performance art, theater, modern and arial dance. The latest in yoga and athletic fashion as well as new styles from Thailand will be showcased in a mini-fashion show woven throughout the evening. Donations for Maui food Bank $10-$15. For info, call 575-9390. Why Whales Do That - Daily. 12:45 p.m. & 3:15 p.m. At the Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea. Multimedia presentation focusing on intriguing behaviors of Hawaii’s humpback whales. Includes thrilling imagery, whale songs and expert commentary. Free. For info, Call 249-8811 Sea Talk Lecture - Tue 6 p.m. at Maui Ocean Center’s Open Ocean Exhibit. The subject is on Maui’s 2004 Hawksbill Sea Turtle Nesting Season. It also includes a brief history of Maui’s critically endangered hawksbill nesting activities and will summarize this season’s exciting events. Like “Orion,” who laid five nests in Makena. That’s one busy hawksbill. Presented by Cheryl King, Maui Coordinator of Hawksbill Recovery Program, Hawaii Wildlife Fund. Free. For info call 270-7084.

POLITICAL Human Rights Day - Fri 6:30 p.m. at St. John’s Church on Kula Highway in Keokea. Co-sponsored by the Maui Interfaith-Community Peace Coalition, St. John’s Episcopal Church and Maui Peace Action. This is a celebration to advocate global disarmament through peaceful international cooperation, protest aggression, seek nonviolent solutions to world conflict, promote social justice and other lefty visions. A potluck supper will follow. For info, call 573-3255. Makena Beach Cleanup - Sat 8:30 a.m. at Makena State Beach Park. In addition to picking up campers’ trash, volunteers will get a brief commentary on the archaelogical history of the area. Everyone meet at the first paved parking lot. Supplies and refreshments provided, but bring work gloves and, if possible, pickup trucks. For more info call 873-8331. Kalama Park Action Team Meeting - Tue 3:30 p.m. at Kihei Community Center, Kihei. The purpose of this meeting is to develop and maintain a safe, clean, beautiful, inviting, user-friendly gathering place through community involvement, projects and advocacy. For info, call 270-7765.

SPORTS Model Air Show - Sat 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. at the flying field located just off Mokulele Highway behind the Drag Strip. Hosted by the Maui Radio Control Modelers. The main event of the show will be flights by F-15, F-86 and other real turbo jet models. There will be demonstrations of giant scale models, helicopters, pylon racers, glider towing, air combat and an R/C racecar demo. Free. For info, call 893-1000, ext. 204.

STAGE Laramie Project - Fr-Sa 7 p.m. at Iao Theatre. In November 1998, ten New Yorkers (The Tectonic Theatre Project) set out for Laramie, Wyoming, to explore a crime that occurred there. After interviewing more than 200 residents, they created a deeply moving play about bigotry and tolerance, fear and courage, hate and hope. The Maui Aids Foundation presents a youth support, leadership and mentorship program for Maui’s high school students utilizing The Laramie Project. Tickets: $15. For info, call 242-4900. “The Don’t Be Afraid Brigade” - Tue-Wed 6 p.m. at St Joseph School Gym, Makawao. This musical brings a brigade of Spectacular dancing and singing angels. Directed by Terrie Robinson. Pizza and refreshments will be sold at 5 p.m. Donation. For info, call 572-8675.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

30

DECEMBER 9, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR


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For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

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FILM

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DECEMBER 9, 2004

31


AUTOMOTIVE

COMPUTER EQUIPMENT

BUY & SELL

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CLASSIFIEDS

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

32

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NOTICES ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

CLASSIFIEDS

classifieds@mauitime.com S.&W. MAUI CONDOS from $175,000 W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $375,000

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PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) You’re a spiritual cyborg. Your intuitive inner world is directly interfacing with real life at the moment. I imagine it might almost be like the special effects of some sci-fi movie, in which your imagination generates a digital overlay on top of your vision, providing extra information about your surroundings and the people in them. Call it telepathy, a high-bandwidth download from the collective unconscious, or just a lot of compelling bullshit. Getting insight into people’s motivations and hints of your actions’ consequences is no New Age joke. It’s worth acting on, so do it.

SERVICES

NEWS

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Resist the Acquisition Urge. Having more of something makes you less secure, not more. Think about it: If you have seven kids and one dies, you don’t say, “Well, at least I’ve still got six left.” You mourn just as deeply as if that were your only child. You don’t need more of anything (contrary to advertising and public opinion). You actually need less of everything. There may come a time when it makes sense to expand your personal kingdom, but it ain’t now. Think of every new asset as one more thing to worry about, or lose, and be happy with what you’ve got (which is already quite a lot).

VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

DINING

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Your razor-keen perception is being upgraded to laser-precision this week. You’re likely to see things more clearly, farther ahead of time, than you have in ages. Take advantage of it, the same way a marathon runner would utilize a surge of energy to gain some ground. This means relentlessly expressing yourself. Gain some ground on your agenda. Blast out emails and phone calls and make progress on every front: Work, romance, friendships, family. You can go back to steadily jogging down the path you’ve chosen next week, when things are back to normal. Right now it’s time to sprint.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. That’s how the adage goes. Well, it’s bullshit. You are not saddled with your parents’ legacy—be it cancer, insanity or Republicanism. You can be the apple that tumbled from the branch, rolled down a hill, fell into a boat and switched continents. You’re your own damn tree, and even though you’re stuck with a few difficult-to-change factors that you inherited from your folks, you’re rooted in different soil, getting different doses of sunlight, water and care. Besides which, you’ve got free will. Stop feeling limited by what you can’t change—which is very little—and start reveling in the illimitable possibilities of what you can.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) A programming glitch in new voting machines created nearly 4,000 Bush votes in an Ohio district with only 800 registered voters. But creating a credible case that Bush stole the election (by accident or design) through “errors” like these won’t happen before he starts his second term, if ever. It’s simply too hard to prove. Similar errors (albeit on a much smaller scale) have worked out to your advantage recently. When you find out, I hope you come clean. It’s too much to imagine that Bush would voluntarily concede the office, saying, “Oops, sorry, turns out I don’t have the mandate of the people.” Would you, in his position, if it turned out to be the case? Here’s your chance to prove it.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Book-burning is a thing of the past. Information can’t be destroyed so easily anymore because of how thoroughly it has pervaded our existence. A copy of any hated book would survive even the most systematic searchand-destroy mission. So the enemies of truth—not being as stupid as we wish they were—have adopted a new strategy. Instead of burning the information they wish you didn’t have, they’re burying it. It’s the difference of a letter, but it’s effective. If enough versions of the story are presented, few people will ever be able to find the one that’s true. It’s simply too exhausting for most folks to dig that long—but not for you Virgos. Use your legendary stamina and organization to find out the real story this week, then report back what you’ve learned.

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

ALL AREAS ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN)

SURF

As long as people do what they say they’ll do (or at least make an honest effort to do so), you’re happy. You’re realistic about what you expect of other people, especially since those expectations are based on, as much as possible, what they promise to deliver. Luckily, this week there’s no problem, as your peeps will come through just the way they said they would. But resist raising the bar because this one was met with such ease. Why bother? Things are good. Don’t mess it up by elevating your expectations until they’re impossible to meet.

If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment. The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Maui Lawn Works

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES

COVER STORY

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING

MAILING

505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

LETTERS

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R)

A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

DROP OFF

Go to your Safe Place, Aquarius. My tongue isn’t even in cheek when I say that. It’s good to have a mental oasis you can retreat to when the real world starts kicking your ass. It might also be good to visit that internal haven, even though life is just fine at the moment—or perhaps because it is. You can afford to be spacey right now. Mental retreats usually happen because you can’t deal, but that doesn’t have to be the case. You can choose them. It’s a better time than most to daydream and recharge, since you’re not juggling crises and problems. Hide out in your head this week—not because it’s a matter of survival, but because it’s fun.

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard. MUSICIAN SERVICES Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. AKAMAI SOUND & VIDEO DJ Services, Videography & Wide Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443 Screen Rental. 280-8310

EMAIL

658 Front Street #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

MUSICIANS FOR HIRE

FOR SALE

www.mauitime.com

You chose the people in your life for good reasons. You trust them. That’s why it might be alarming, even frightening, when they start seeing you as slightly monstrous, ghoulish or soulless. They’re freaked, too—worried that you might disown them for reflecting back your worst faults. Yeah, you’re not perfect—just like everyone else, you can be a little horrible at times. It’s hard to look at, but do it anyway. Continue to trust your friends even when what they have to say might be hard to hear. It’s for your own good and, ultimately, everyone’s.

REAL ESTATE SERVICES

REAL ESTATE

WEBSITE

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

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EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL COOL TRAVEL JOB. TRUMPET PLAYER Entry level positions, 18+, no experi- Seeking regular gigging situation with ence necessary, 2 weeks paid train- working band. 572-2527 or 280-0219 ing, transportation, lodging provided. ARTS $500 signing bonus to start. TOLL *MOVIE EXTRAS* FREE 1-877-646-5050. (AAN CAN) Earn up to $200-$600/ day. All looks, types and ages needed. TV, music videos, commercials, films & print. Work with the best! “Extras on Call” 1-800-260-3949 ext 3001. (AAN CAN)

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM

Imagine if every U.S. citizen who felt disenfranchised and unheard stopped paying his taxes. The IRS certainly couldn’t prosecute the millions of people who are fiercely opposed to the Bush administration’s agenda; they’d have to be acknowledged, instead of railroaded by the Republican majority. I don’t know if that’s the best path, but I mention it to highlight my point: You always have choices. You may feel disempowered at the moment— within your family, at your job, or in your country—but you actually have a lot more power than you think. It’s just hidden inside unusual or perhaps controversial shapes or methods. Look for it. Whether you exercise it or not is up to you—but knowing you have it ought to make you feel a lot better.

CURBSIDE RECYCLING!

MUSIC & ARTS

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

If not now, when?

Help Wanted P/T Cashiers needed for brand new retail store in Paia. Flexible hours. Please call (808) 579-9677 LiveWire Cafe-Lahaina Opening December on Front Street. Flexible Hours. F/T & P/T. Need Baristas/Managers. Call 579-6009 or email: livewirecafemaui@yahoo.com CASTING:TV series seeks people struggling with painful addictions - especially danger, video games, steroids, promiscuity, plastic surgery. Also seeking troubled teens, desperate housewives, and groupies. www.habitstv.com. (AAN CAN)

SIGNLANGUAGE

We’re used to rooting for David, not Goliath. We identify more easily with the underdog, which is why you’re probably a bit bewildered to find yourself in a position of power this week. Yep, you’re the giant. That doesn’t mean you’re obligated to begin stomping houses and eating children until the terrified villagers appease you with virgin sacrifices. You may or may not have asked for this power. Regardless, you still have a choice on how to wield it. Be a benevolent monster, the kind we can root for, perhaps of the Cookie variety. No one likes bullies, and eventually they all get taken down. Avoid that fate by simply never becoming one.

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Resist the temptation to spill your guts. You have a reputation for keeping secrets—even those that burn holes through your brain, like the one you’re hanging onto now. It’s like a fairy trapped under a glass—so pretty and sparkling, it’s difficult to resist freeing her, especially when she’s promising you wishes in exchange for her freedom. You know that all the wishes will backfire, in classic told-you-so fashion, but you might momentarily delude yourself you’d end up better off. Believe me, you won’t. You were given this treasure because you’re responsible enough to take care of it. Prove yourself up to the task.

Jason Meyer

DAY&NIGHT

573-1920 CAERIEL@YAHOO.COM

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 9, 2004

33


HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Don’t Kill Your Television Life doesn’t imitate art; it imitates bad television. —Woody Allen I don’t know how it happened. One day I was clicking through channels. The next week I was canceling dates to watch the next episode of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I think it was that week I was all sick and bedridden. Or it could’ve been that other week when there was a CSI marathon… Americans watch a huge amount of TV. The latest Nielsen Ratings studies show that the average person watches TV for more than four hours each day and the average home has the TV on for nearly eight hours per day. I remember as a young kid coming home from school and letting myself in because my mom was working. The boob tube comforted me, made me feel like I wasn’t so alone. I knew the sitcoms I watched weren’t real—The Brady Bunch and Eight is Enough certainly didn’t represent our two-person family. And yes, I know about the evils of watching too much television. Of course it can make you lazy and droid-like if you just sit inside all day and stare at a screen. I’ve heard over and over again—mainly from people upcountry—about how it just about sucks the soul out of your cranium and makes you do bad things to your neighbor’s goat. But I’ve decided there is some redemptive value in watching television. It has the ability to relax you if you’re stressed (“Mating Habits of the Duck-billed Platypus”) or excite you if you’re bored (“Guns & Ammo TV”) or even just give you loads of interesting topics to discuss at dinner parties. Whatever the case may be, that all came to a screeching halt when I was double-booked for the North Shore and CSI. I had to weigh my options and think about what exactly I hope to get from television. Is it just background noise and eye candy? Or quick tidbits of general information that could catalyze further research and learning? Be your own judge. Things I learned from CSI (Las Vegas): •People who are remembering something look to the right, but people who are creating something—i.e., LYING—look to the left. •Putting clear nail polish on an insect bite will stop the itching. •There are two types of male oysters and one changes gender at will. •Heroin metabolizes into morphine within two to three hours. •The truth doesn’t always bring closure or comfort. •When in doubt and nothing seems to make sense, chalk it up to the Chaos Theory. •Warrick is that one hot guy with dreads from the Janet Jackson videos. Lessons I’ve learned from Reality TV: •Money does not make you smarter, more interesting or have more class. •Humiliation, tears, fighting and disgusting dietary habits is the stuff of primetime viewing, and hence, the mainstream mindset. Say what you will about the election results. •There is no good reason for me to be on television. Unless, of course, it’s a Spanish soap opera. Stuff I’m still learning from Sex and the City and Friends reruns: •No matter how beautiful, smart or how many fabulous outfits you have, you are going to have fucked-up relationships. •Women who complain about men often do the very things they accuse men of doing. •I could never afford to live in New York. Ah, it was a good week—a good life of TV. But in the end, I decided that a weekly, televised routine was indeed drying up my creative juices. I have since moved on to crossword puzzles. MTW

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DECEMBER 9, 2004

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08.24 Maui's Latter Day Saints, December 9, 2004, Volume 8, Issue 24, MauiTime  

MauiTime talks to Maui's Latter Day Saints to find out how Mormonism has adapted to the island lifestyle, discusses basketball on the Marsha...

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