08.20 Restroom Guide, November 11, 2004, Volume 8, Issue 20, MauiTime

HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, FRANKIE SEZ, EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK, FOOD COPS, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH & NAIVE REALISM

■ NOVEMBER 11, 2004

■ VOLUME 8

■ ISSUE 20

■ MAUITIME.COM

■ FREE EVERY THURSDAY

■

MAUI’S ONLY INDEPENDENT & LOCALLY-OWNED NEWSPAPER

HYATT REGENCY BUSTED! 5 Sort of

EAT FOR THE KIDS 12 At Taste of North Shore

LICKING DOORKNOBS 25 Not talking with David Sedaris

2

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

CONTENTS

MAILING ADDRESS: 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 PHYSICAL ADDRESS: 505 Front St., Ste. 216 Lahaina, HI 96761 office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 20

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IS CUSTOMER APPRECIATION MONTH!

COVER STORY 10

CENTER

i Pod Store

•Restroom Guide

Thousands of Songs!

MAUI COUNTY 5

COMPUTER ®

Where you should and shouldn’t go to the bathroom – by Anthony Pignataro

4

MacNet

•Letters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

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•LC Watch •Food Cops •Rocky Mountain Low

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Don’t bother asking for Coors at Casanova – by Joe Gatto

6

•Overheard...

•Coconut Wireless

7 8

•News of the Weird •Tides & Times •Map Fever

iMac G4

Paul Taylor Dance Company in... this week’s picks! - P. 19-21

HAIR CUT W/ DEEP CONDITIONER, SPA PEDICURE / MANICURE, EUROPEAN FACIAL, LUNCH

Finding your way through Lahaina Printsellers – by Barukh Shalev

9

•Op Ed: Guilty, Disgusted American Staring into the moral abyss – by Ted Rall

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com

ONO KINE GRINDS 12

Calendar Goddess: Kim Welch kim@mauitime.com

VOTED MAUI’S BEST HAIR SALON FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS!

Hours, locations and price ranges of Maui’s eateries

•Employee of the Week

Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther Interns: Kellie Holliday, Lauren Dahl, Morgan Lorenzana Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com Production Assistant: Wendy Higa Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com

19 •This Week’s Picks 22 •Film: Michael Jackson’s Santa Coaster The Polar Express ( ) – by Cole Smithey

23 •Movies & Times 24 •Pure Volume 25 •A&E: Licking Doorknobs Not talking with David Sedaris

General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com Office Assistant: Becky Spector Web Design: Liko Resources webmaster@likoresources.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2004 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited.

Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

– by Kellie R. Holliday and Samantha Campos

•Frankie Sez...

CLASSIFIED 31 •Personals 32 •Classified Listings 33 •Sign Language 34 •HoloHolo Girl 35 •Mind, Body & Spirit

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 11,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

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Contributing Writers: Caeriel Crestin, Sarah Elwell, Ted Fawcett, Joe Gatto, Stephen R. Hart, Ted Rall, Barukh Shalev, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey

•Eat for the Kids The second annual Taste of North Shore – by Sarah Elwell

13 15

HAIR • NAILS • SKINCARE

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com

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3

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Play now with 90 days same as cash No money down O.A.C. Sale ends 11/30/04 111 Hana Hwy. • Kahului 871-1141 •www.ukes.com

Mahalo for your continued support, trust and aloha.

SOL KAHO‘OHALAHALA (D) State House District 13 Friends of Sol POB 163 Wailuku HI 96793 www.SOL4ALOHA.net

LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR AT LEAST THEY THINK WE’RE ENTERTAINING I myself was appalled along with other employees at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. [We] felt that your article on Wailuku (“Working Guy,” Nov. 4) was in really bad taste and raunchy, especially on the front page. Why do we have to portray our Historical Town like that? We would appreciate it if your delivery girl would NOT deliver your newspaper article to our Hotel.

Although entertaining, it is not appropriate for our guests.

-Pi’i Aiwohi, Ritz Carlton, via email The Editor Responds: Why do we have to portray Wailuku like what?

Honestly? Factually? Hey, Wailuku’s a town like every other town in America.

That means it has good people and bad— nice, pretty flowers and gritty, disturbing crime. We run stories about transsexual prostitutes because they’re compelling and real tales of what it’s like to live on Maui.

CARTHAGINIAN STILL LOST I was so sorry to read that the Carthaginian is no longer going to be in Lahaina Harbor for tourists to enter and explore (Coconut Wireless, Oct. 21). My father was Earl Callicutt, who was the person who found this particular ship and brought it to Maui. My daughter and I had planned on going to Hawaii in a little over a year, but apparently that will be too late for me to be able to see the ship my father brought to Lahaina.

I do have a few pictures of this ship taken by friends and relatives who have been there, and a keepsake book my father put together before his death in 1982. Is there going to be a museum with anything from the ship that will be preserved? I would like to think that I could see more than just from a submarine when we go there.

-Carol Humphreys, via email

TOUGH TALK Editor’s note: The following open letter, directed at the Maui Weekly, was emailed to us following that paper’s announcement that they were sold—and later, not sold—to West Virginia-based Ogden Newspapers.

Dear Maui Weekly, Your company sucks so bad. It puts nothing out but worthless garbage. Worthless garbage that stacks up on my side of the island because no one wants it. Over here, we know it blows chunks. Listen, if you want to put that crap out, fine, but keep it where it belongs, over there. Do I have to put a big piece of masking tape down the middle of Maui for you? And to suggest that your competition is not worthy because they output their product through the only realistic vendor on the island is a huge stretch.

Listen, your competitors have you nailed, it doesn’t seem to matter who owns them. The reason is simple, most of them produce a product that is worth consuming. They have something to offer, be it for entertainment or for more crucial reasons. It’s obvious you don’t have a clue, and your motivations are transparent. You and yours can try to pillage what’s left of our island, but I, and so many others, boycott your filth.

-The Big Cat, via email Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com The other day I was sitting behind you and your family in a local restaurant. All I wanted to do was relax and enjoy a nice meal. But you made that impossible with your constant berating of your children. Was it really necessary to keep telling one of your small children to “shut your fucking mouth?” And what was the deal calling your other child a “stupid idiot?” As if all that wasn’t offensive enough, then you stood up to your full 4’ 10” frame, showing off your green hot pants and fanny pack. That was when I recognized you as an old classmate of mine who always got his ass kicked on a weekly basis—mostly because you were such a Class A jerk. Of course, that was 25 years ago, but now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that one time I kicked your ass for wearing green hot pants.

4

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

NEWS

MAUICOUNTY

BY JOE GATTO

LC Watch

Rocky Mountain Low Don’t bother asking for Coors at Casanova The days of walking into Casanova in Makawao and asking for a Coors are over.

That’s because owner Steven Burgelin has gotten fed up with the brewer’s right-wing politics, history of environmental pollution and general corporate arrogance. So angry that he’s decided Casanova will no l0nger pour any Coors products—including Killian’s Irish Red and Zima.

“These kinds of people only hear profit,” said Burgelin. “They have a disease that makes them lust for more money and power. It is pure greed. They already have enough money. They can already drink the best wines and have whatever they want, but they don’t stop. I won’t help them make any more money.”

Burgelin said he first discovered Coors’ record of discrimination and environmental carelessness while watching an episode of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher. The guest was Robert Kennedy Jr., whose new book Crimes Against Nature exposes the Bush Administration’s war on environmental laws. Kennedy spoke of how Coors is one of Colorado’s biggest polluters.

Outraged, Burgelin hopes his boycott

Food Cops The following tale is taken straight from official complaints and inspection reports on file with the State of Hawaii Department of Health Food Safety office.

Establishment Burger King

Location 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului

Date Aug. 6, 2004

Time 4:30 p.m.

While eating an Angus Beef hamburger a customer noticed green mold on the meat. The customer then returned the uneaten portion of the burger and was given a refund. An inspection conducted on Aug. 11, 2004 determined that the hamburger patties were not being stored at the proper temperature. The inspector recommended keeping the most perishable Potentially Hazardous Foods (PHF) toward the back of the walk-in refrigerator and not near the front, where it’s the warmest. The temperature issue has since been corrected.

-Lauren Dahl

LETTERS

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catches fire with other bar and restaurant owners.

He’s not the first.

Back in 1997, the AFLCIO began a 10-year boycott. The gay and lesbian community has protested Coors for 20 years because the company contributes to right wing, anti-gay groups. As a result, Coors made overtures to the community by adopting pro-gay policies in its hiring and benefits packages. That didn’t satisfy everyone, and many gay rights activists still refuse to drink the beer.

The Coors family history of supporting right wing politics is well documented.

According to the Center for Responsive Politics in Washington, D.C., since 1992 the Coors Brewing Company has donated $301,800 to Republican Party causes and committees.

Also, much of the funding of radical right organizations comes through the Castle Rock Foundation.

It’s family money, but doesn’t bear the brewer’s name.

Usually they get their way, but not always. This year Pete Coors ran for a U.S. Senate seat in Colorado on a radical right platform but narrowly lost to Democrat Ken Salazar.

According to www.bamn.com, an organization supporting affirmative action, minority and immigrant rights, since 1981 Coors profits have helped many far right organizations.

Their website explains that since 1981, Coors money and ideology has been directing Republican presidents.

For instance, Joseph Coors was one of the right-wing founders of the conservative Heritage Foundation. One of its accomplishments, if you can call it that, was Mandate for Leadership, a policy paper for President Ronald Reagan that called for gutting social programs and big tax cuts for the rich.

“Within his first year in office, Reagan had implemented two-thirds of the several thousand recommendations,” states the BAMN website. “He lauded the Heritage Foundation and cemented its fame and political influence.

When Reagan was re-elected in 1984, Heritage published Mandate for Leadership II, which included recommendations repealing affirmative action policies, reducing the enforcement of voting rights and civil rights laws and lessening legal redress for victims of racist

DINING

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actions. Heritage also wrote policy guidelines for Bush Sr. and Bush Jr.” One of the reasons Pete Coors might have lost in Colorado is Clear Creek. In 2000, the company spilled 77,000 gallons of beer into the creek, killing more than 50,000 fish. Two years later the company had to pay $500,000 to clean it up.

It wasn’t their first offense. Philip Hufford is a Denver environmental activist and cancer victim. He’s spent years investigating Coors alleged environmental negligence.

“Hufford found 11 cases of cancer that had occurred over a 20-year period, from 1968 to 1988—all but one of those on the north side of his street, which backs up to a ditch carrying water from Clear Creek to a nearby reservoir,” reported the Jan. 9, 1997 issue of the Boulder Weekly. “In 1990, Coors was assessed civil and criminal fines for polluting Clear Creek with solvents and other toxic chemicals for more than a decade.”

All that, and the beer is pretty bland.

“It’s not a revolution, but it’s a message,” said Burgelin. “The two to three cases of Coors I sell a week won’t affect my bottom line, but it is a message beyond sales and a gesture that I hope spreads to other environmentally conscious bar owners.” MTW

Hyatt Regency Maui employees found the nude body of Lauren Crossen on the morning of Jan. 12, 2004. Resulting police and coroner investigations revealed that the 18-year-old cheerleader from New Jersey who’d come to Maui for the Hula Bowl had plunged to her death from the ninth floor balcony of a room rented out to two California men—Donald Devorss, 19, and Eric Larson, 20.

Because Crossen had a 0.17 blood alcohol content, both Devorss and Larson had bought nearly two-dozen drinks at the hotel over the preceding three days and CNN was pushing the story, it was perhaps inevitable that your Maui County Liquor Control Adjudication Board would have to drop the hammer on the Hyatt.

The department charged the Hyatt Regency with 24 counts of serving booze to Devorss and Larson—they’d used fake IDs or simply weren’t carded, but like the geniuses they were nearly always charged their drinks to their hotel room—and one charge of having an “unapproved” employee serving alcohol. But because the charges were all lumped into one complaint, the whole affair only counted as the hotel’s first strike for serving alcohol to minors.

On Nov. 9, hotel general manager Barry Lewin appeared before the Board with local criminal defense attorney Lawrence Ing, who’s something of a superstar around the LC. Ing, who’s represented dozens of bars and restaurants before the Adjudication Board in the last year, is on very friendly terms with the LC. Indeed, during Board deliberations the department allowed Ing to use an LC phone to clear up a scheduling problem with an upcoming dentist appointment.

Clearly, a plea agreement between the Maui County Prosecutor’s Office, LC and the Hyatt had been struck long before the hearing began. Considering the high profile, lurid nature of the case and the length of the complaint, the Board took a whopping 10 minutes to deliberate.

Their punishment was a $2,000 fine for each charge, which added up to 50 Gs—a drop in the bucket for a licensee that’s part of one of the largest resort chains on Earth.

By contrast, Kahale’s Beach Club in Kihei was up during the same hearing on its second strike after getting caught in yet another minor decoy sting operation.

Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Angela Hedge called the bar “a risk to the community.” The Board agreed, suspending the bar’s liquor license for 10 days.

MTW

—Anthony Pignataro

DA KINE CALENDAR

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

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Fresh from his brutal thrashing of gaybaiting GOP loon Mike Gabbard in the race to represent Hawaii’s 2nd District in the U.S. House of Representatives, Democrat Ed Case got right back to work.

And by work, I mean faxing press releases.

Like this one that says he “urges” the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to okay a newer, more powerful transmitter in Maui County for Hawaii Public Radio (HPR).

Hmmm… Case is a Democrat and there are more theocratic Republicans who think Public Radio is filled with crazed, leftist, America-hating traitors running the federal government these days than at any other time in recent history. Oh yeah, I’m sure the FCC—still being helmed by Michael “I’m the son of Colin” Powell—will get right on it… In an opinion piece on the value of “sister city relationships” in today’s Maui News, Maui County Economic Development Coordinator Lynn Araki-Regan succeeds in writing what can only be described as the worst sentence in the English language: “In building these sister city relationships, Mayor [Alan] Arakawa and I concur that working together in reciprocal partnerships can and will expand mutually beneficial business, trade, tourism, investment and cultural exchange opportunities for our respective communities.”

THURSDAY, NOV. 4

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$18.99 SHERWOOD ESTATE PINOT NOIR New Zealand 2003 Bright fruit concentration. New Zealand Pinots are hot!

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Just got a fax from Wailuku-based Mediation Services of Maui announcing that Miss Hawaii 2004 Olena Rubin visited our fair island a couple days ago. She was here to honor Arakawa for proclaiming November Alternative Dispute Resolution Month. This makes perfect sense, because when I think of Miss Hawaii 2004 Olena Rubin—and I do, from time to time—I think of alternative dispute resolution. You know, alternative dispute resolution (ADR to its friends and well-wishers) has gotten a bad rap in recent years. Like Arakawa’s proclamation states, ADR “can accommodate diverse interests and provides a path to solutions unavailable in a court or litigious setting.”

Hopefully, proclamations like this and supporters like Miss Hawaii 2004 Olena Rubin will finally turn things around and show that ADR is our friend, not our gutless, cowardly enemy like so many have been saying… Oh no! Not 30 seconds after I finished writing the above, the City of Hope—the medical center, not that shanty in Arkansas where Bill Clinton grew up— emailed me declaring that November is, in fact, Diabetes Awareness Month. This

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

is so awkward—it couldn’t come at a worse time. Don’t they know November can’t be Alternative Dispute Resolution Month and Diabetes Awareness Month at the same time?

It only has 30 days! This is a disaster. If someone doesn’t do something soon, we could have a full-blown Awareness Month war on our hands. How can we avert that? It’s too bad there’s no way to resolve what’s almost certainly going to degenerate into a bloody dispute.

FRIDAY, NOV. 5 Two days of Maui County Council Housing and Human Services Committee hearings on Round Two of developer Kent Smith’s proposed 268-home Pu’unoa project ended late today with no decision. Hey, you expected perhaps strong action? Come on! No, seriously—it’s not like these people are seeing Smith’s “Village” for the first time. Remember last year when this street-clogging, not-nearly-so-affordable thing planned for the southern end of Lahaina first showed up? Smith tried to get it fasttracked through the state, but the County Council gave him grief and tossed it in the old circular file. So he went back and made some changes, like making it bigger—268 homes instead of the old 254. Now it’s been kicked upstairs to the full council, with absolutely no recommendation as to what to do with it. Hey, here’s a thought: Dump it again. Then maybe Smith will listen… Kauai resident David Miyasato filed suit against the U.S. Army today to fight being swept up in a “backdoor draft” instituted because the Bush Administration has started so many wars.

Miyasato served in the army in the first Gulf War in 1991, then transferred to the reserves when his active duty obligation was over. That ended in 1996, or so he thought. Because U.S. forces are stretched so thin around the world, in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Balkans, the Philippines, South Korea, the old Soviet republic of Georgia and Colombia, the Pentagon has begun recalling guys like Miyasato who believed their service obligations fulfilled. Miyasato is optimistic that he’ll be successful, but with Bush overwhelmingly trouncing John Kerry, you gotta think he’s just itching to invade Iran, Syria, North Korea— enough wars to put everyone in uniform!

SATURDAY, NOV. 6 Brian Blundell wins! Not the election for the 10th District Representative seat—he still lost that to political virgin Kam Tanaka by a scant 56 votes. No, according to today’s Maui News, Blundell won something even sweeter: His freedom! That’s right, folks— Judge Lono Lee has decided to “defer” the now ex-legislator’s no contest plea to one charge of fourth-degree sexual assault, which he earned way back on July 15. For readers who

OVERHEARD...

“DUDE, LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING!” -Guy talking on his cell phone at 505 Front Street in Lahaina, Nov. 4

6

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

NEWS

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

don’t watch a lot of Law and Order, that roughly translates into groping an undercover vice cop in a Honolulu public park men’s room. Because Lee won’t do anything, Blundell now has one year to keep his hands to himself in public—no, that’s no good… how about keep his hands in his pockets? No, that’s even worse… Look, if Blundell can stay out of trouble for a year, then he not only gets no punishment, but the charge goes off his record forever and he doesn’t have to register on that creepy sex offender database. So I’m asking all of you to give Blundell a hand—no, wait—let’s just wish him well.

SUNDAY, NOV. 7 What, don’t I get a day off?

MONDAY, NOV. 8 Today the Associated Press reports that given the Democratic Party’s near-complete stranglehold over the state legislature, Republican Governor Linda Lingle’s agenda for the next two years will be made up of things “that the community would really like to see.”

Wow! Isn’t democracy fabulous! If I were her, I’d be calling Washington for one of them new Bush Administration jobs opening up…

TUESDAY, NOV. 9 Got an email today from gun manufacturer Smith & Wesson announcing that they’re going to be sponsoring a car in the NASCAR racing circuit. This makes perfect sense, because when I think of crazy hicks from the South driving souped-up cars really fast around and around in a circle, I think of guns and shooting things like raccoons and stop signs. Screw Alternative Dispute Resolution!

USA! USA! MTW

RETIRED KAMIKAZES Most of the Japanese World War II suicide-mission dive-bombers (“kamikazes”) were successful, but a few pilots who failed because their missions were aborted because of weather or equipment failure are still alive, according to a Los Angeles Times dispatch in September. These days, they resent being compared to extremistIslamic suicide bombers, who, the kamikazes say, act out of hatred rather than love of country and who do not always aim at military-only targets. On the other hand, one of the survivors said that many kamikaze “volunteers” were, contrary to legend, reluctant to die but caught up in patriotic fervor.

FAST FOOD WAR

AMERICA’S REAL GUN PROBLEM David Toumey, who is the county coroner in Bloomington, Ind., was hospitalized after accidentally shooting himself in the leg in September while demonstrating gun safety at a recreational facility. And a 61year-old man accidentally, fatally shot himself in September in Rose Bud, Ark., as a result of showing off with his pistol before church. He had removed the clip, held the gun to his head, and pulled the trigger, thinking it would not fire, evidently not knowing that some guns will go off if there’s a bullet left in the chamber.

NEW HAMPSHIRE MOMS GONE WILD

Custom Tattoos

Police in Sandown, N.H., charged Suzanne Viviani, 47, with threatening her 22-year-old daughter with a knife because the daughter had snatched cocaine out of Suzanne’s bra during a confrontation in August. The two women reconciled but were booked into the same jail cell.

And in October, 40 miles away in Belmont, N.H., police charged Jacqueline Weiner, 36, with assault after her husband, Steven, held Jacqueline’s 10-year-old son down while she stabbed him repeatedly in the arm with a kitchen knife because the boy and his brother had destroyed Jacqueline’s favorite toy animal.

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LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES The Arabian Peninsula Women’s Information Bureau, which is said to be an Al Qaida affiliate, announced in September that it had published the first issue of an Internet magazine, Al-Khansaa, designed to help women sort out their simultaneous obligations to their family and to the holy jihad. Among the inspirational guidelines: “The blood of our husbands and the body parts of our children are the sacrifice by means of which we draw closer to Allah,” and “[The wife and mother] is the soldier who bears [her husband’s] pack and weapon on his back in preparation for the military offensive.” The first issue admonished the wife-mother to be in “top condition,” to “not overindulge in eating and drinking,” and to have a vast knowledge of jihad.

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Joseph Manuel Augusto, 37, and Andres S. Diaz, 52, chased each other around a Burger King in Stratford, Conn., in July after Augusto had become enraged that Diaz had occupied the men’s room too long. Augusto flailed at Diaz with a small pocket knife, Diaz at Augusto with a straw dispenser.

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815-819 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

7

Live On The Edge.

MAUICOUNTY

BY BARUKH SHALEV

Map Fever Finding your way through Lahaina Printsellers

Explore...

Encore!

Quality Consignment Boutique Lahaina Square Shopping Center (next to Ace) M - F 10 - 5/SAT 10 - 3

PAI A Fi s h M ar k et Restaurant

Tides & times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului: 1hr 41min Hana: 1hr 23 min Makena: 0hr 32min Kihei/Ma`alaea: 0hr 22 min Lahaina: 0hr 40 min

11

H 3:17A +2.3 L 9:52A +0.4

H 2:47P +1.2 L 8:44P -0.2

12

Sun R 6:41 Fri Sun S 5:50P

H 3:56A +2.5 L 10:50A +0.3

H 3:27P +1.0 L 9:14P -0.2

13 Sun R 6:41 Sat Sun S 5:50P

H 4:39A +2.6 L 11:51A +0.7

H 4:11P +0.8 L 9:48P -0.2

14 Sun R 6:42 Sun Sun S 5:50P

H 5:26A +2.7 H 5:00P +0.6 L 12:58P +0.3 L 10:26P -0.2

Sun R 6:40 Thur Sun S 5:51P

15 Sun R 6:43 Mon Sun S 5:50P

H 6:18A +2.6 L 2:12P +0.3

H 6:01P +0.5 L 11:09P +0.0

16 Sun R 6:43 Tue Sun S 5:49P

H 7:15A +2.5 L 3:28P +0.2

H 7:32P +0.5

17 Sun R 6:44 Wed Sun S 5:49P

L 12:02A +0.2 L 4:32P +0.2 H 8:18A +2.3 H 9:32P +0.6

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8

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

NEWS

Are the Banana Islands near the Mango Peninsula?

Lahaina Printsellers is where to go if you want a map. That’s what they do, sell maps. Lots of maps. Standing in the small shop, my eyes fall on A Map of Long Island Showing the Long Island Railroad, which shares space with 1878 Government Survey of Lanai: Triangulation, Topography, Boundaries and Map by J.E. Brown and M.D. Montserrat.

I try to imagine what a guy named M.D. Montserrat looks like. Then I see a Russian map of Hawaii made in 1826 on the wall, right above a topographical map of the Cripple Creek Mining District: The Great Gold Camp of Colorado, Compliments of the Cripple Creek Sunday Herald. Interested in urban archeology in the turn of the century? Check out the Map of Chicago, Incorporated as a Town August 5th 1833 or the very old street grid map of Detroit.

One the wall behind a saleswoman is a series of spectacular engravings.

“Those are all the original art from Captain Cook’s expedition to Hawaii,” she sullenly tells me. “Ninety-five percent of our collection here are original antiques.”

When I was a small child, there was nothing I loved more than maps. I didn’t really understand where they came from, who made them or what they meant, but I knew I liked looking at them. As I got older, I acquired various globes and maps of the world, all the while daydreaming about far away, exotic lands.

I devoured maps of all kinds—slave trade routes, ocean currents, ethnic geography of Africa, the human body, Japanese navigational charts, the ocean floor, spice trade routes, mythological places from science fiction, ‘role playing games’ and fantasy books as well as sacred religious maps of heaven and hell. I loved it all and could not get enough.

I read all I could about geography. The

shelves in my study groaned under the weight of thick tomes on cartography, topography and oceanography. Like The Mapmakers: The Story of the Great Pioneers in Cartography—From Antiquity to the Space Age. The cover featured a black and white photo of two men standing precariously on an isolated butte, probably somewhere in the Grand Canyon, making a map. Those two unnamed geographers in the picture symbolized everything that I loved.

That’s why I can appreciate the treasures to be found at Lahaina Printsellers. There you can find antique and original maps of all kinds, from turn of the century naval charts to topographical maps of Lanai, if you’re into that sort of thing.

“The owner, Allen Walker, has been selling antique maps for over 30 years,” the saleswoman tells me. “Back then, they could only offer a certain amount of merchandise, as antique maps tend to be very pricey, but now we use glicee maps, which is basically a printing process that makes the maps…”

Cheaper?

“No! Please don’t be derogatory,” she scolds, waggling her finger. “We here at Lahaina Printsellers prefer to use the term, ‘more affordable and durable.’”

Remembering my childhood obsession with globes, I look over at an unusually crafted wood globe.

“Those are made by Rich Hevner, a Maui artist who has immersed himself in everything we knew about mapping the earth in ancient times,” anonymous saleswomen drones.

As I look around, a young couple—they look like newlyweds on their honeymoon—walk in.

They’re searching for a map of Maui. They eventually find one that’s labeled “Drawn and Engraved to Accompany Rev. Hiram Brigham’s History.”

They buy it, then head off to take surf lessons. As they walk off, carrying in a little plastic tube a very real piece of history, I wonder if Hiram Brigham ever imagined where some of his work would end up. MTW

OPED

BY TED RALL

Guilty, Disgusted American

er b m e v o N pecials!

S

PHOTO: US ARMY

Staring into the moral abyss Democrats watching the election results at a high-rise hotel in midtown Manhattan commented that the rest of America thinks it understands terrorism better than we do. New York bore the brunt of 9/11 yet CNN’s exit poll found that New Yorkers considered Iraq a bigger issue than terrorism when casting their votes for president.

Midwesterners and southerners felt the opposite, motivated by fear of the unknown—literally, as they are neither likely targets of terrorism, nor did they feel or smell the horrors of that terrible day.

Ranking terrorism their number one concern, they nevertheless supported an incumbent for whom the war on terrorism is nothing more than a marketing slogan.

Such astonishing gall! Only women are affected by the abortion debate; only women ought to be allowed to vote on it.

The same goes for war—only the young who fight and die in war enjoy the moral right to declare it. Terrorism? Please, if you live in Mississippi or Colorado or Alaska, don’t presume to talk about, much less cast your vote based upon, your “views” of Islamist terrorism. New Yorkers don’t lecture you about hunting. Butt out of our business. Or at least have the grace to follow the lead of New York City voters if, contrary to history or logic, terrorism is your number one concern.

A few minutes before midnight, a young woman took the microphone where Hillary Clinton, who hilariously believes she has a date with presidential destiny, had tried to pump up the crowd. “Of course they send me up here to deliver bad news,” she began. Ohio was still in play, but the Democratic Party had rented the ballroom and its big projection televisions for only a few hours. Disenfranchised and disinvited, Kerry Victory Party attendees aimlessly scattered along East 42nd Street in search of alcohol and cable news coverage. Kicked out into the cold. It was a grand night for metaphor.

A dictator had put himself up for “reelection” and declared war on gays and pregnant teenagers. An Administration whose principals built concentration camps, lied us into two wars and fleeced the treasury to further enrich themselves and their campaign contributors is getting four more years rather than the forty to life they deserve. Florida 2000 became Ohio 2004, complete with its own Katherine Harris, discarded voter registrations and Jim Crow-style assaults on blacks. Most of all, the whole thing stunk.

“Successive waves of the national exit poll in the afternoon and evening reported that Kerry had a two- or three-percentage-

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Four more years! point lead over Bush nationally and in several key states, including Ohio,” wrote the Washington Post. On ABC, Charles Gibson said: “The exit polls got it flat wrong.”

If so, that would be a first. That’s what they said back in 2000, when exit pollsters called Florida for Gore. We later learned that Gore had won Florida, by at least several thousand votes.

The exit polls were right last time. This year, I trust them more than Ohio’s Secretary of State.

The day after a shady election handed to a maniacal buffoon, New Yorkers whose dead remain scandalously unavenged were in the streets. Civil strife, rage, the fight for decency and democracy—they were nowhere to be found.

People looked up at the sky, taking in the sun on a crisp fall day. They streamed in and out of the Disney store. They lived their lives. I lived mine. Half a world away, meanwhile, AC130 planes and tanks—bought by American citizens and dispatched on the orders of criminal goons busily declaring themselves a mandate—dropped bombs and shot shells into a city called Fallujah.

“Marine Expeditionary Forces will continue to conduct operations and will not cease until Fallujah is free of foreign terrorists and insurgents,” read an official military statement.

Issam Mohammad, spokesman for the Fallujah hospital, said that a woman was “badly wounded.” A young girl lost her leg.

How dare they? How dare I? MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

9

A friend of mine recently emailed me a couple pictures of a public restroom constructed in some big city. The first photo showed it from the outside, sitting on what looked like a major street, packed with cars, busses and pedestrians. Its architecture was just a simple, though modern, steel box.

But it wasn’t made of steel, as the next photo illustrated. That one, taken from the inside, showed that the walls were actually some sort of mirrored glass that was opaque to anyone looking at the restroom from the street, but completely transparent to the occupant within. This allowed the user to— apparently—take a dump in public while still remaining completely hidden.

My friend’s deceptively simple two-word message accompanying the photo—“Would you?”—had me wracking my brain for hours, not the least for trying to figure out if the damn thing would work at night. I have no idea if the “public” restroom was anything more than a bit of e-folklore, but it does nicely illustrate our fascination with the lavatory. “[P]eople want to make the bathroom truly a living space, a personal zone for privacy and peace,” says former Better Homes & Gardens Home Products Guide editor Kathie Kull in a story posted on the e-magazine At Home, which is run by the bathroom fixture-manufacturer Moen.

“People… are focused on quality fixtures and furnishings that make the bath—no matter how big or small—the haven they seek.”

Another home website— www.uktv.co.uk—counsels that, “The bathroom should be the most pleasurable room in the house.”

Once mere holes in the ground covered by wooden shacks, the bathroom is now a high-tech wonderland that would awe Mr. Spock. The latest craze: automated disposable seat covers triggered by waving your hand over a sensor.

So how do Maui’s restrooms measure up?

What makes some “havens” and others hellish? Obviously sizing up every toilet on the rock is beyond the scope of this modest guide, but here’s the rundown on some of the better—and worst—to park your behind.

10

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

COVER STORY

Restroom Guide Where you should and shouldn’t go to the bathroom SPECTACULAR HARD ROCK CAFÉ Not only does this place field a solid restroom, but they put actual music memorabilia in it! Lots of places post the sports page or comics over the urinal, but how many can you think of have Candlebox’s Platimun Album award plaque hanging there? HRC, that’s who. And right next to the Candlebox award is a glass case displaying a t-shirt signed—we’re talking actual pen on fabric, people!—by the legendary Doobie Brothers. The Doobies! In the restroom! And in that little alcove with the payphone that you go into just before you choose whether you want to go in the men’s or women’s restroom, there’s a surf jersey signed by Lisa Anderson and Kelly Slater! It doesn’t get any better than that! 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400.

THE RITZ-CARLTON At first glance, this is the greatest bathroom in all of human history. First off, they’re bigger than some apartments. The walls are lined with this dark green, nearly black marble. The washroom and toilet fixtures are all gleaming stainless steel. There are baskets of potpourri, cloth hand towels, fresh flowers, intricate and colorful sketches of birds, huge mirrors, four sinks and half a dozen stalls. The stalls themselves are wonderful, with actual doors that have actual door handles. But incredibly, though each stall has two toilet paper rolls, they have no sanitary covers for the seats. None!

What, rich people don’t get crabs? 1 Ritz-Carlton Dr., Kapalua, 669-6200.

PARADICE BLUZ It looks like this place spent a boatload of dough on these restrooms. Not only are the floors tiled, but all the benches and walls inside are covered in this hand-crafted wood.

We actually got to meet the carpenter who did all that during construction, and he was mighty proud of his creation. “Doesn’t the bathroom look fabulous?” he said with a twinkle in his eye. We could only swoon. 744 Front St., Lahaina, 667-5299.

GOOD NACHOS GRANDE It’s a dive bar, but it doesn’t have a dive bar bathroom. They keep this one clean.

The toilet has red, hand-painted trim. On the wall they have this Aztec motif, which is also hand-painted in red, green and yellow. And around the sink are these little tiny hand-painted jalapeños. There are also dried flowers around the mirror and a basket of dried flowers on the floor. They’re really trying, and we appreciate it.

Honokowai Marketplace, 662-0890.

ONE MAIN PLAZA The décor is all black inside. It’s all very professional, stylish and, well, federal.

The whole joint is super air-conditioned, so it’s immediately comfortable. Because it’s a government building, it has to be disabled person-friendly, so that means all the doors can be opened automatically. Woohoo! 2200 Main St., Wailuku.

CASANOVA This one’s cool because there’s a stall in the ladies room where the toilet is really high so it has to have stairs leading up to it, making it into a kind of royal throne.

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao, 572-0220.

THE SLY MONGOOSE People—and by people, I mean me—have called the Goose a dive bar, but really, it isn’t. It’s better than a dive. Way better. And the reason is the restroom. Don’t know if you’ve been in there lately, but that place is nice. For one, it has a door on the stall—dives don’t have that. In the men’s room, there’s a urinal—dives have troughs. There’s hot water in the sink, a soap dispenser that dispense actual soap and plenty of paper towels. There’s even this pedestal of potpourri to make the place smell sweet for the ladies. No way that’s a dive bar. 1036 Limahana Place, Lahaina, 661-8097.

THE FOUR SEASONS RESORT Each separate stall has its own sink with hand towels and a big, lit mirror. It’s like there’s a separate bathroom in each stall! And naturally, it’s always clean and perfectly lit. 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000.

THE MAUI ARTS AND CULTURAL CENTER It seems like no matter where you go here, you’ll find a restroom. And what restrooms—row after row of stalls and sinks. The ladies rooms even have special counters and sinks for primping and applying makeup. Shows what gobs of private donations will do for an organization. 1 Cameron Way, Kahului, 242-2787.

KALANA O MAUI BUILDING Located on the first floor conveniently close to the front door, the restrooms are all around solid. The stalls have enough room to move around in, the doors have coat-hooks and there are plenty of paper products to cover all contingencies. It’s even well lit. The only drawbacks are the lack of hot water and the weak liquid soap dispenser. Taken as a whole, it’s a fine expenditure of county tax dollars. 200 S. High St., Wailuku, 270-7866.

HORHITOS MEXICAN CANTINA

THE RESTROOMS BETWEEN YOGA SHALA AND MILAGROS

It’s got a wanted poster of a toothless bandito. What more do you want? 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-6394.

The stalls have been recently painted but it’s such tight quarters inside that you can’t stand or turn once you shut the door. Located between Maui Yoga Shala and Milagros Food Co. in Paia.

(TIE) JACQUES/MANANA GARAGE I’m grouping these together because they both have the same cool, industrial/arty feel. They both use lots of corrugated metal and bright colors. In Mañana Garage, the door has a gas pump handle. Jacques, 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844; Mañana Garage, 33 Lono Ave., Suite 150, Kahului, 873-0220.

BAD HOAPILI HALE The home of the 2nd Judicial Court of the State of Hawaii, this building has terrible restrooms. The first time I walked in the first floor men’s room—the one right across from the court clerk—I thought I had stumbled on a crime scene. There was yellow POLICE—DO NOT CROSS tape stretched across the stall. I don’t know, I guess they didn’t have any “Out of Order” signs. Anyway, when I went back a few months later, I was relieved to see the stall open and fully operational, though horrified to discover a total lack of seat covers and the toilet paper only came in those awful little squares that you hated in elementary school. You’d think the state could afford rolls. 2145 Main St., Wailuku, 244-2823.

UGLY OHEO GULCH Dante imagined the words “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” were inscribed over the gates of Hell. Pretty scary, but he never felt the need to drop his drawers at Oheo Gulch. God help the poor souls who find it necessary to use this pit. Sorry, did I use the word “pit?” I should have said “filth chasm.” Why anyone would voluntarily remove a stitch of clothing here is beyond us. Beyond encasing the whole deal with concrete like the Russians did at Chernobyl, we really don’t know how to make this one better.

BIG BEACH All they got here are porta-potties, and like all porta-potties around the world, they suck. But there’s something—age, general appearance, stench of death—that makes these seem worse. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re doomed to use these because real restrooms with walls and running water are so far, far away.

LAHAINA HARBOR LAHAINA FISH CO. The restrooms here are much like a steam bath, but not in that oops-I-droppedmy-towel porn movie good way. With no windows and two hand-driers, it seems that there’s hot air blowing round the clock. And that’s not going to do anyone any good. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3472.

BORDERS BOOKSTORE It’s well lit and air-conditioned, with a sink that has actual hot water and that great foamy soap as well as big stalls with plenty of room to stretch out and lots of toilet paper and seat covers. So why is it bad? Fear of book thievery has led management to post signs forbidding you from taking reading material inside. 270 Dairy Rd., Suite 190, Kahului, 877-6160.

Are these things still open? They keep talking about using state or federal money to rip them out and put in something at least grounded in the 20th century, but I haven’t seen anything new.

BASKETBALL COURT NEAR THE MOKU’ULA PARKING LOT You think that restroom in Saw was scary? That place was a freakin’ ER compared to this shack. All I hope is that all those Al Qaida guys we have stewing down in Guantanamo Bay have it better than this. I mean, the place is ventilated, sort of, mostly through the huge gaps in the walls near the ceiling. There are a couple urinal cakes in the men’s room trough, and they really look like they have their work cut out for them. You want amenities? Go find a bush. If you’re lucky, the place will be locked up when you stop by, forcing you to keep walking.

LULU’s

MAKENA LANDING

Look, we love Lulu’s. Really, we do. And our readers love LuLu’s, too—after all, they voted LuLu’s one of the best places on Maui to do Jager shots in our 2004 Best of Maui issue. But honestly, LuLu’s restrooms are cramped, cramped, cramped! The stalls are tiny, the room is tiny, everything’s tiny. You’re standing at the sink and someone opens the door—bam!—you’re now flat on your ass. Except you’re not really flat but kind of bunched up on the floor in a little ball because there’s not enough room to spread out. 1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-9944.

So much of this place is beautiful—the black, jagged lava that plunges into the water, the pounding surf, the gnarled, ancient trees that seem to grow in all different directions—Why do the restrooms have to be so awful? We expect a certain amount of dank to inhabit a restroom located just yards from the ocean, but come on! Who in their right mind would let any bit of their skin touch the toilets in there?

–By Anthony Pignataro

CAFÉ MAMBO The bathroom itself is fine, but it’s got a trick doorknob that seems to be locked even when no one’s inside. Spooky… 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021.

Samantha Campos and Jen Russo provided valuable research assistance for this story.

!

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NOVEMBER 11, 2004

11

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY SARAH ELWELL

Eat for the Kids The second annual Taste of North Shore One of the best hopes for the youth of Maui’s North Shore is the Paia Youth and Cultural Center. And one of the best ways to support the Center is by eating lots of good food at this year’s Taste of North Shore.

This is the second year for Taste. And just like last year, there’s going to be a lot of good food from 17 participating restaurants. From the Maui Cattle Company will come grilled Huli Huli beef. Paia Bay Café will be providing Kalua Lumpia, grilled chicken and chili and rice. There’s going to be tapas from Café Mambo and Pad Thai noodles from Mana. The Sand Bar will have tacos and Café des Amis will have crepes. And the Hailiimaile General Store’s providing ice cream, cookies and brownies. Entertainment will include the Hula Honeys, Pacificaribe Trio, and Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo.

As usual, the proceeds will benefit the Paia Youth and Cultural Center (PYCC).

For the last decade, the PYCC has given local kids a creative atmosphere to learn about the arts, education and work. Last year’s sold-out event brought in $19,000, which went towards finishing the Stonewave Skateboard Park. That park, one of the more popular draws at the Youth Center, is entirely run by kids.

“Kids used to hang out on the streets all the time after school in Paia,” one local Paia merchant told me. “I witnessed many kids making friends with some of

Taste of North Shore Saturday, Nov. 13 at Paia Park, with parking in the Paia Bay lot, public parking lot and along Hana Highway. Tickets cost $50, $100 if you want open bar privileges. You can get tickets in advance at Big Bugga Sportswear, Paia Bay Café and Kuau Mart.

Or call 579-6216. For more information on the PYCC, call Peggy Roth at 579-8354 or visit www.pyccmaui.org.

$

Saving the town, one skateboard at a time the town drunks, and local drug dealers because there was nothing else to do. Now, the bus drops the kids off after school and in no more than one hour you see many kids heading down to Paia Bay with their skateboards, helmets, and bodyboards.”

Credit the Youth Center. It opened in 1992 when much of North Shore’s youth were known for their violence and were considered high risk.

Assisted by a few residents, a couple dozen Paia boys got together and formed the Paia Youth Council, if for no other reason than to construct a safe place to hang out. Locals credit it with pretty much saving the town.

“Since the PYCC Skateboard Park and other provided programs, there are no more kids on the streets,” said another local merchant.

Compared to other rec centers nationwide, PYCC has a reputation for attracting older teenagers. Most people consider these kids volatile and prone to trouble with drugs, alcohol and the law.

The Skateboard Park entrepreneurial program includes training youth for operations of the entire park. The kids also take on the responsibility of organizing special events, skate camps, and technique classes on a regular basis, which help provide funding to maintain the Park.

The Paia Bay Café has also been a center for youth and staff. There kids take on the responsibility of showing up for scheduled work shifts, preparing food and serving customers.

Home-schooled and older teens assist during the day while younger youth assist with meal

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preparations after school hours.

The PYCC has also hosted the only exclusive body board competition statewide for eight years. They also host a junior lifeguard program during the summer.

Then there’s the Audio Visual Department.

This teaches kids to shoot and edit their own videos, as well as add narration and music. A few of the kids’ videos will be shown during Taste of North Shore on a multi-media screen.

“We try to give kids the opportunity to empower themselves by getting them off the street learning skills and instilling confidence,” said Brian Delaney, a member of the PYCC board of directors. “By giving kids responsibility, they gain pride in what they do and they don’t want to lose that.” MTW

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CENTRAL MAUI Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877–9001. $ Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893–0263. $

$$$→$40 and up

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Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella. Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877-4486. $$

Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-2400. $

Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to “take five.” 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS. $

Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Kahului, 893-0026. $

Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$

Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $

Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $

Café Marc Aurel - Offers an elegantly casual menu, including Gourmet Cheeses, Dolmas, Tzaiki and an extensive By-The-Glass wine list.

28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao Theatre. 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave, Kahului, 877-3055. $ Curry in a Hurry - Curry dishes that are delightful and delicious in alternative vegetarian eating. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-3328. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 8717782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. Omelettes, burgers, salads. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 8931628. $ Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 8771414. $$ Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877–7461. $$ Fiesta Time - Quality Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 2498463. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$

Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and island spices. 275 Kaahumanu Ave, Queen Kaahumanu Mall, Kahului, 871-7726. $

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui, conveyor-belt sushi. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Maui’s famous subs since 1990.

Coffee, an extensstive list of breakfast bagels, sub Sandwiches, and salads. Open M-F 7 - p.m Sat 7-5pm, Sun 7-4pm 395 E. Dairy Rd, 877-8779.

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade cornbeef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. Happy Valley, Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke, open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100

874-TACOS

1279 S. Kihei Rd. (Next to Bank of Hawaii) Azeka Mauka

BUY 1 ENTREE GET SECOND ENTREE

HALF PRICE! Must present coupon. Not good with other offers.

Good from 3-9pm. Expires 11/21/04

Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Also offer catering. 1900 Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the kitchen sink burritos to quesadillas a la carte.

Casual dining, various piñatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877–8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunch with a Southern smokehouse twist. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $

“WHO HAS

SAID A GREAT MEAL TO BE EXPENSIVE ”

Chef M a rk E llma n’s

Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - Located inside Wow-Wee Cafe with over 20 years of experience in the food industry.

Catering and party trays available. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 873-6400. $ Sandalwood Golf Course Restaurant - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului, 877-0121. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Fast food Chinese with daily specials. All entrees are served with rice or noodles. 70 E Kaaumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, pan fried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market Street, Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and

Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977. $$ International House of Pancakes - (IHOP)Open for breakfast, specialty pancakes, sandwiches, along with lunch and dinner entrees.

Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8711566. $ Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Kaahumanu Center, 877-5588.

Kozo Sushi - Fast food take out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. Sushi platters available. 52 Market Place, Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - This corporation is known all over the world for its tasty glazed doughnuts.

433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Homemade Italian Cuisine

opopopopopopopopop

Beer & Wine

Made from Scratch Ravioli Lasagna Meatballs Osso Buco Tiramisu

Pastas, Salads, Pizzas, Sandwiches and Nightly Seafood Specials with nothing over $12.95 We now have Brown Rice Pasta! Wheat & Gluten Free!

50¢ extra / Cooked to order so it takes a few minutes longer

Open Tuesdays thru Sundays 5pm - 9pm

1215 S. Kihei Rd. (Long’s Ctr.) • 875-8800

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

661-6633 • 180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

13

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $

Buzz’s Warf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns. Reservations recommended.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$

Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 2429630. $

Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874--1111.$$

Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood.

475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $

Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$

Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. Also a Hawaiian menu, kava kava, sushi and oxygen bars. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

SOUTH MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable takeout seafood, chicken, ribs—all fried deep tempura style or grilled. 1913 S Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service.

Try their homemade Tiramisu! 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices.

Open Mon-Sat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S Kihei Rd., 8790133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner, with burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods, deli sandwiches. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas or Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free on Monday and Saturday! Fuhgeddaboudit!

1945 S Kihei Rd., 875–0188. $$ Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce.

Open daily. 1215 S Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 875-1234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 8749299. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks and sandwiches; everything from pizza to sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

which are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $

ple, lime juices and spices from the Islands. 2411 S. Kihei Road, Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $

Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is a la carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area.

2511 S Kihei Rd., 875–1007. $$

Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast is served till 3 p.m 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874–1131. $

Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $

Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879–7224. $$$

Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224. $$$

Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahimahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010. $

Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679. $

Cafe Del Sol - Open for breakfast and lunch. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sandwiches and fresh fish, daily special.

3620 Baldwin Ave, Makowa 572-4877. $

Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak, lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677. $$$

Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner (nightly). 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $

Cevoli’s Motorcycle Cafe - A bistro with pizza, pasta, ribs, fresh island fish, deli sandwiches, nightly entrees. 1280 S Kihei Rd. Azeka Plaza, 874-8377. $

Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891–8883. $$$

Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S Kihei, 879-4799. $

LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a huge bar and open-air deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $

Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$

Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $

Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center.

Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243–2206. $$

Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner with omelets, burgers, salads. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600.

Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5 p.m.

Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$

Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $

Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S Kihei Rd., 874–4041. $$

Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim seafood. Breakfast, lunch, pupus and dinner. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607. $$

Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, a full service coffee kiosk, fruit smoothies, shakes. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineap-

Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award-winning cuisine, early bird and late night special. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879–0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic.

Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875–7555. $$$ Seawatch - Hawaii regional cuisine utilizing the freshest island fish and produce. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m to 3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, Pork, or Seafood, and veggies.

Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly.

1280 S. Kihei Rd. #120, 875-8366. $

Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi, open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizer and “food for gringos,” too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical setting and spectacular ocean views. Featuring fresh Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-7831. $$$ Humuhumunukunukuapua’a -Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 S Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods

MONDAY • Mango Margarita

THURSDAY • Margarita

TUESDAY • Tropical Monkey

FRIDAY • Mai Tai

WEDNESDAY • Blue Hawaii

SATURDAY • Pineapple Martini SUNDAY • Tequila Sunrise

Available at:

Serving Lunch & Dinner 7 Days A Week

MAUI COFFEE

Located on Front Street in Lahaina Overlooking the Banyan Tree, Upstairs in

ROASTERS RETAIL & WHOLESALE 444 Hana Hwy. Kahului

877–CUPS 14

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

DINING

Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

“FRESH In YOUR cup within one week of roasting” WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

The Wharf Cinema Center

667-0908

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by world-famous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck, oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sausage sandwiches, even chicken or turkey, killer burgers and healthy vegetarian stuff. Sip a beer or margarita outside on the lanai. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 874–6444. $ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including 1/2 lb burgers and deli sandwhiches with 24 T.V.’s, and a full bar. Open 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0602. $ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-winning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572–2666. $

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $

Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $

La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$

Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef, and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $

Mambo Cafe - Maracon dishes, veggies, phalafels, fish chicken. Daily specials. BYOB. Open 8am-9pm. 30 Baldwin Ave, Paia. 579-8021. $

Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia, 579–8844. $$

Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $

Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked artichoke. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-5653. $$$

Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $

Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right!

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $

Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$

Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu and teriyaki all available.

3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241. $

Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448. $$$

Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island.

EMPLOYEE OF THE

WEEK

Tony Roma’s - Famous for ribs, barbequed chicken and onion ring loaf, along with daily special. 1819 S. Kihei Road, 875-1104. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 8752088. $$

A S T O L D T O T E D FAW C E T T

Nicky Saussy

Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific Cusine with a blend of Louisiana Cajin, and tropical flare. Open 5-10 pm. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 874-8385. $$ K

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream.

Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go!

90 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8340. $

Bartender, Jacques’ Northshore Bistro

South Maui’s Best Oceanviews!

Southern Style Cuisine

“A Taste of the South with a Tropical Flair”

Aha’Aina - Ocean front dinning Featuring a delicious chili pork burrito and a large variety of omelets. Island fish, chicken Katsu. Open for breakfast and Lunch only Tues - Sat 7a.m. - 2 p.m. Sun 7 a.m. -1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$

1/2 OFF All Drinks & Entire Pupu Menu

Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $

featuring Curt Lee - Sun

Cafe O’Lei - Featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch, delicious salads, focaccia sandwiches. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Makawao Paniolo Courtyard, 573-9065. $$ Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5796323. $

Happy Hour

4-6 Tues-Sun

Live Jazz & Dancing Yorman William & All That Jazz OPEN FOR BREAKFAST @ 7:00AM

760 S. KIHEI RD • KIHEI • 874-8385

Seafood + Pasta = Fuhgeddaboudit!

Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5798021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - First class service, first class food.

Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572–0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940’s style city bistro atmosphere serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$

BOOK YOUR

NEW

H LUNNC !

U

HOLIDAY PART

ME

Y HERE!

Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available.

115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144. $

Italian Restaurant

Kihei Kalama Village 1945 S. Kihei Road • 875–0188 Open Every Day For Lunch & Dinner Noon to 10 PM

Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

I’ve served a few famous people like Jessica Lang, Clint Eastwood and Woody Harrelson. One time these two pro windsurfers from Oahu came in and got all messed up. One bet the other that he couldn’t hold his breath for three minutes, so we got them a five-gallon bucket and filled it with water. The one guy took a long drag on his cigarette, stuck his head in the bucket, and three minutes later surfaced, exhaled a little smoke and said, “You’re buying.”

If I wasn’t a bartender on Maui, then I’d want to be a trust-funder and not have to work. No, seriously—my dream job would be working as a mechanic for the Honda Supercross guys. But bartending here isn’t bad, especially at Jacques.

Originally I started as a waiter and bar-back when the restaurant was across the street, but one night they needed someone at the bar, so I filled in. I’ve been on Maui seven years now with a brief stint in Hood River, where I worked at the Copper Salmon, a windsurf bar just like Jacques.

The work atmosphere here is great. We’re busy, but it’s festive and the people are always in a good mood. Jacques, himself, is a good person to work for because he creates a positive and fun environment. And unlike a few other places I’ve worked, there aren’t any bar fights. Did I mention the food is good, too? Just look at me, I’m getting fat.

The best part of working here is that I get to spend more time with my wife Hanna, who’s a server. She’s the best. It’s funny she didn’t really like me at first, but I kept giving the lei lady money to bring her lei’s while she worked and after a week she finally warmed up to me. We’ve been married three years now, and still flirt with each other while we’re here. She really encourages me and supports me in my motocross riding and surfing, and after a long day at work she takes care of me and rubs my feet!

Yeah, it’s not so bad. MTW

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

15

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $

cuisine, featuring salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742. $

Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily special. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755. $

Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and patries around, along with delicious salads, quiches and Gyro’s with a variety of teas. open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. 810 Kokomo Road, Haiku Market Place. 575-9588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–9999. $

WEST MAUI A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines.

Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center, 667–0623. $

Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–8030. $

Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, fried deep tempura style or grilled. Great food great prices. 844 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $

Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more!

Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily special.

Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ K Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views.

Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. Come in for the ambience, stay for the delightful dining experience. 2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali, 662-3210. $$

SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island

Homestyle New American Comfort Food

Normal Hours

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly.

Overlooking Lahaina Town, with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner served 5pm - 10pm

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $

Thanksgiving Day

Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $

(Thur. November 25th) Breakfast 7:30-12:00 reg. menu Dinner 1:00-9:00 special menu

Thanksgiving Menu

Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111. $$

Smoked Fish Dip

●Salads 8.95

Locally caught marlin smoked & blended with cream cheese, red bell peppers, onion and garlic baked until bubbly served with pita bread for dipping

Crispy Crabcakes

10.95

Stella’s Holiday Salad

●Entrees

Shrimp Cocktail

Turkey Dinner

9.95

6.95

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

●Keiki Menu

Prime Rib 10.95

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

Prime Rib Dinner

12.95

Served with mashed potatoes, a jus, horseradish& vegetables

Fish Dinner

14.95

With a lemon-caper butter sauce, rice pilaf and vegetables

Grilled Cheese

7.95

Served with French Fries

Hamburger

9.95

Served with French Fries

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD 28.95

With a lemon-caper butter sauce, rice pilaf and vegetables

Stir Fry

14.95

An array of mixed vegetables sautéed in a teriyaki sauce served over white rice 16.95 with Tofu with Chicken 17.95

Book your X-mas parties in our fabulous Banquet Room

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779

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NOVEMBER 11, 2004

DINING

Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. Mexican food beyond the border. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced “comfort foods” such as Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more! Open daily. 2580 Kekaa Dr., Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood, along with island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar.

Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $

Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesian sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific islands. 505 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$

24.95

Served with mashed potatoes, a jus, horseradish& vegetables

Pan Seared Onaga

Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $

Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi—great steamers! Open nightly with live entertainment. Half off Sushi Sundays. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina, 662-8780. $$

18.95

Six large poached shrimp served with spicy cocktail sauce

Turkey Dinner

Captain Dave Fish & Chips - Classic baskets of fish and chips. Open daily. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $

Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $

Hearts of romaine tossed with home made croutons & Parmesan cheese

Lump Crab, lightly bound and breaded with cornflakes & served with tangy remoulade sauce

Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937. $$

David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117. $$$ K

6.95

Upcountry greens tossed with red wine vinaigrette, dried cranberries, walnuts & feta cheese

Classic Caesar Salad

Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600. $$ K

Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and classic fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908. $ K

Reservations Recommended 874-3779

●Appetizers

Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491. $$

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG NIGHTLY SPECIALS MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $18.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $19.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $16.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6 $2.75 TROPICALS / WELLS $1.75 DRAFTS

AR DOLLL ES B U DO DAY ALL

FRESH $1.00 R OYSTTEERS O SHO

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere, beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds.

174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. Love All— Serve All. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lovers delight.

Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661–8422. $$$

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

atmosphere, large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7758. $

fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$

Mr. Sub Sandwiches - Speciality sandwiches made to order, with salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $

Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawaii`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669–6286. $$ K

Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too! Honokowai Marketplace, 662–0890. $

Island Taco’s - The best soft shell taco’s ever.

Choice of beef, fish, pork or chicken. Served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese. onions, and Jalapeno’s. Open Late night. 744 Luakini St. Lahaina $

Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizer, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667–1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper Mahi Mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, lounge ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $

Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Casual poolside dining.

Now featuring reasonalby priced tapas-Hawiian Style menu.for supper and late night dining. 6:30 am10pm.The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $

Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table!

2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali, 661-4500. $

Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 665-1822. $$

Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices!

Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs, will deliver. Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999. $ K

Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$

Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811. $$

Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizer, traditional and specialty Mexican food with full bar.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–4666. $

Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$

Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633. $

Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro.” Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082. $

Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. Open 7 days a week. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $

Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s signature Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish.

Dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $

Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669–1500. $$ Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken, sandwiches, and hamburgers along with a full bar.

Open 11:30 a.m. - 10 p.m. 927 Wainee St. Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private, the Antipasto serves two. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$

Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814. $ Tropica - Oceanfront dining on Ka’anapali Beach, features sizzling steaks, fresh fish, prepared in variety of styles, and specialty entress, appetizers, and deserts.

5:30-9:30pm. Westin, Kaanapali, 667–2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York Style Pizza, Calzones, and Hot & Cold Heros. Open 7 Days. Delivery 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. 840 Wainee St. Lahaina Square, Lahaina. 661-6773.$

Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3538. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $ Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Take Sushi - Open late night for late night sushi lovers. Full menu and daily special. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffet-style rotating menu ranging from “Breakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.” Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$

FREE BREAKFAST

BUY 1 BREAKFAST AT REGULAR PRICE GET A SECOND BREAKFAST OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE FREE. NO TAKE OUT. 15% GRATUITY ADDED. BREAKFAST SERVED 7:30AM-11:AM. EXPIRES 11/30/04

661-4666 • Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front St • Lahaina, HI

Pad Thai - Delicious Påd Thai, among many items.

Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina, $

Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-4495. $$

Pizza Paradiso - Voted “Best Pizza on Maui” since 1998. Award-winning pasta dishes, toss-to-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; $

Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288. $$$

Finding your perfect match is easier than washing dishes.

Plantation House Restaurant - Hawaiian Mediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $

Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw, and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262. $

Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 pm 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 $$$

Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 am - 10 pm. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-1929. $$ K

Roy’s Bar & Grill - This fine dinning restaurant has mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30p.m.10p.m.4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. Kahana 669-6999. $$$

Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with char-grilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the Islands. 840 Wainee Street 661-8883 Lahaina (and Napili). $

Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 661–3123. $$

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat special and merry

Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak,

HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY!

© 2004 TPI GROUP

YOUR KITCHEN AWAY FROM HOME

And much more fun!

from 12 to 3pm and 9 to11pm 2.25 Pizza Slices 2 Bud or Coors Lt Draft Beers $ 3 Well Drinks $

$

A TASTE OF LAHAINA WINNER FOR 4 CONSECUTIVE YEARS “BEST VEGETARIAN” “BEST MEAT” “BEST APPETIZER” & “BEST SEAFOOD”

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Take off your pants, big boy!

Friday, 10:30-11:30 p.m. at Casanova [UM, DANCING?] The Makawao Paniolo Parade Committee is a charitable organization dedicated to preserving the culture and ohana spirit of the community. And they do this... with male strippers. That’s right, your favorite local cowboys will be taking it off!—Actually, not ALL, ‘cause that would be kinda awkward. And illegal but whatever. Anyway, professionals and the “recently discovereds” will be dancing in their speedos on stage and dirty a la Patrick Swayze! There’ll also be door prizes, open dancing before and after the performances and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you are contributing to the time-honored tradition of the Paniolo Holiday Festival and Parade. But eh, who cares about that—we wanna see skin! Bring your dollars, girls!!

Tickets for this fundraiser are $20 and can be purchased at the Love Shack in Kihei, Wow-wee Cafe in Kahului, Gecko Trading Co. in Makawao or at the door, the night of the event. For more information, call the Makawao Paniolo Parade Committee at 572-9565. [SAMANTHA CAMPOS]

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ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

Veterans Day, TV Style Thursday, 5 p.m., The History Channel [TV/POLITICAL] Another Veterans Day is upon us, and, thanks the Bush Administration, being a veteran—especially one of a foreign war—is really catching on. Soon, it might even be possible for every freckle-faced 18 to 26-year-old scamp to become a veteran. And what better way to celebrate the vet than by parking your ass in front of The History Channel for six hours. They’ve got documentaries on the B-29 bomber (they nuked and firebombed nearly a million Japanese civilians during World War II!), the Gallipoli landings during World War I (great movie, lousy invasion), The Last Day of World War I (USA! USA!), Battle History of the Coast Guard (watch out— those guys kick ass!) and The Battle of Tripoli (you know, from the song). [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

THURSDAY

THE RETURN OF...

WELCOME HOME!!

SATURDAY NOV. 13th 10PM - $5 COVER

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

Friday, 4:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 p.m. at the Kaanapali Beach Hotel [DANCE/FAMILY] The 14th Annual Hula O Na Keiki event is Maui’s only children’s solo hula competition, as well as a non-profit event that promotes cultural awareness and appreciation. And it’s cool to watch, too! Tickets for the event are being sold at Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel, Palms Travel in the Azeka Shopping Center and Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center. Tickets are $12 for adults, $6 for keiki and $20-25 for reserved seating. Pictured is last year’s overall Wahine winner, Leah Kaopuiki-Kanamu. Photo by Randy Braun.

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

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Modern Dance Master & Co.

Cruise Blues Art of Juan, Party of Many!

Saturday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC [DANCE] The Paul Taylor Dance Company has been performing American modern dance for 50 years, in over 60 countries and 450 cities.

Don’t worry—this isn’t going to be one of those tricky math test questions, like, “If the Paul Taylor Dance Company has performed for 50 years, in over 60 countries and 450 cities, how many times did they go to Buffalo?” No, rather I would like to tell you about the many awards Paul Taylor has won (actually, too many to mention!), the wide variety of sounds he uses for his dances (anything and everything from ragtime and reggae to loon calls) and the fact that his Company is also the subject of the Oscar-nominated film Dancemaker, which Time called "perhaps the best dance documentary ever."

Tickets are $30, $18, $10 and half-price for kids. Call the box office at 242-7469.

DAY

Tuesday, 5:20 p.m. at the Maui Waena School cafeteria in Kahului

Saturday, 9:30 p.m. at the LiveWire Café in Paia [ART/MUSIC] It’s the unofficial Taste of the North Shore after-party! DJ El Gatto will spin his international electrodance flavor and the art of Juan Giliberto will be on display. Actually, Giliberto’s art will be exhibited at the LiveWire until Jan. 5 but this party is a one-night deal so don’t miss out! Tickets are $10, call 579-6009.

[POLITICAL/ENVIRONMENTAL] Cruise ships are easily the biggest sources of unregulated pollution in Hawaiian waters.

Because the state and federal government is terrified of pissing them off, all the big liners can dump whatever sewage and toxics into the water and air that they want. And yeah, I know they bring in tons of visitors and inject tons of money into our local economy, but somebody’s got to punish them for dumping garbage into our ocean. This meeting is part of the “Cruise Ship Task Force” that Mayor Alan Arakawa set up to thrash out the big boats’ pros and cons. Considering that the CEO of the Maui County Economic Development Board chairs the “Task Force,” it’s doubtful they’re going to push for meaningful environmental and labor reforms. So you do it! For more information, call 270-7710. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

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O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT !

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ODUCTION CHILLTOWN PRUI PANIOLO PARADE R MA A BENEFIT FO ARTS @ 9:45PM

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FILMCRITIQUE

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Every Monday Night!

WillieK LIVE at

BY COLE SMITHEY

Michael Jackson’s Santa Coaster Animated X-mas spectacle carries peculiar agenda fluidity that seems somehow uncontrolled or Just seeing Tom Hanks’ name attached uncontrollable. Added to this plastic distancto an animated Christmas movie directed ing effect is the fact that none of the characby Robert Zemeckis (Forrest Gump) ters, except Santa, have names and even then should be enough for audiences to know only four mannequin kids are afforded any all they need to about the kind of cheesy trace of personalities. We have the allentertainment they’re in for. Creepy lookAmerican white “hero boy,” our African ing “performance capture” computer genAmerican “hero girl,” a erated animation generic European t r a n s p o s e s immigrant “Lonely artist/author Chris Boy,” and “Know-It-All Van Allsburg’s Boy,” a stereotypical roller-coaster-ride Rated G/100 mins.

Jewish kid who round influenced story out the group’s cultural about a steam train diversity quotient. called “The Polar Express” that takes a You don’t have to look far to see the cogs of group of kids to the North Pole on fascist indoctrination at play in the execution Christmas eve to meet Santa Claus. of the story. The train conductor gives each of The train goes up a steep mountain a handful of the children on his train a ticket and the train goes down an even steeper for passage, which he later insists on demandmountain as it puts a cynical 8-year-old ing so he can punch it with initials that he will boy with no name in the way of later turn into words for each child to live by. cliffhanger dangers that provide plot But when Mr. Conductor goes to collect the filler until Santa’s Christmas metropolis ticket belonging to the nameless little African is shown in all of its industrial splendor.

American girl (Nona Gaye), whose eyes are The entertainment hook for the movie is too far apart, she has misplaced it and must the fact that Tom Hanks plays the little be escorted away, allegedly, to be ejected boy, the boy’s father, the train conducfrom the train by the suddenly judgmental tor, a hobo ghost, and Santa Claus. With (read deceiving) conductor. Keep in mind a price tag of $165 million dollars, you’d that all of the children are dressed only in think Zemeckis could afford to give pajamas and slippers. This is just one examaudiences a break from so much of a ple of the many layers of uncomfortable submediocre thing. text buried in the film’s scenario. Since the The Polar Express boasts a new GCI conductor gave the children their tickets to technology designed to replicate human begin with, his pretense at punishing the only movement by digitizing an actor’s perminority on the train for not having hers still formance. But the results are expressionin her possession seems a subterfuge for less mannequins that move with an odd

Polar Express

★★★★★

Show Starts at 10pm

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BLUES NIGHT

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Bobby Ingram B l u e s

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Heard from the Kona coast to Oahu’s North Shore.

A kid with no name on one cold friggin’ ride

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NOVEMBER 11, 2004

FILM

some unsavory plan.

Indeed the next time we see the girl several scenes and many minutes later, she is in the engine car with the driver and stoker who have given her a lesson in which red lever makes the train stop. The cruel metaphors at play in the movie may be accidental on the part of the filmmakers, but they would not be there in the first place if more attention had gone into telling a story.

The Polar Express is a movie that Michael Jackson will probably love. It’s about encouraging arrested development. Sure kids should believe in Santa Claus until they’re old enough to figure out the ruse and make up their own minds about what other kinds of games they want to play with their imaginations that will fulfill their present level of maturity.

Even when you look past the unnecessary dangers that the dehumanized child characters in The Polar Express experience, you are left with a hammered home theme that says you must believe in a lie in order to be satisfied on a personal level. The problem comes from the boy we meet in the beginning of the movie who is on the brink of maturing and exerting his individuality.

We, the audience, are supposed to cheer as we watch him backslide into a dream state that more closely reflects a nightmare vision than any scenario of protected domestic life that the boy could experience. The Polar Express isn’t smart enough to be effective propaganda, but it can’t hide its cold agenda of labeling people (children) with words that will distract them from the seduction they’ve encountered. This polar express is one cold friggin’ ride. MTW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA

Castle Theater, 572-3456 Silver City - R - Wed 5, 7:30

Wednesday, November 17

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Silver City

Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee

5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater

Alfie - R - Th-Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7, 9:45

The always incredible writer/director John Sayles' newest ensemble masterpiece stars Academy Awards winners Chris Cooper and Richard Dreyfuss along with Kris Kristofferson, Danny Huston, Daryl Hannah, Billy Zane, Maria Bello and Michael Murphy in this scathing political lampoon and sun-stunned neo-noir detective story set against the backdrop of a mythic "New West".

Critically acclaimed as: "Compelling! One of the early fall triumphs of 2004" (Reel Views), "Wickedly Sexy" (NY Post), and "Enlightening! Razor Sharp Dialogue and Intrigue!" (Chicago Tribune). Rated R. 129 min.

Birth - R - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:55, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:55

New This Week

Shaun of the Dead - R - Th-Fr, M-W (12:40, 3, 5:20), 7:40, 10, Sa-Su (12:40, 3), 5:20, 7:40, 10

The Incredibles - PG - Th (12:30, 1, 1:30, 3:15, 4, 4:30), 6, 7, 7:30, 8:45, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-W (12:30, 1, 1:30, 3:15, 4, 4:30), 6:30, 7, 7:30, 9:15, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 1, 1:30, 3:15), 4, 4:30, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 9:15, 9:45, 10 Ray - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:45, 1:15, 1:30, 4, 4:30, 4:45), 7:15, 7:45, 8, Sa-Su (12:45, 1:15, 1:30), 4, 4:30, 4:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8 Saw - R - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:50 Shall We Dance? - PG13 - Th - Fr, M-W (1, 4:15), 7:15, 9:40, Sa-Su (1), 4:15, 7:15, 9:40

Surviving Christmas - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (1, 3:15, 5:30), 7:45, 10, Sa-Su (1, 3:15), 5:30, 7:45, 10

AFTER THE SUNSET – (PG13) - Crime, Romance – Pierce Brosnan plays—what else—a master thief who’s pulled his last score and retired to an island paradise. But wait! There’s still one last jewel he hasn’t yet swiped! But then his FBI agent nemesis shows up to make sure he’s out of the stealing business! It all sounds like your standard heist picture routine, but Salma Hayek’s in it, so that makes it a must-see.

THE POLAR EXPRESS – (G) – Family, Animated – A boy struggles to believe in Santa Claus as all his friends and schoolyard chums make fun of him for being so gullible. Stupid chums. But then a giant steam train pulls up to his house to take him to the North Pole. Oh my God, it’s a ghost train! Run and hide! Oh wait, it’s just the 5:15 in from Baltimore. Late as usual…

SEED OF CHUCKY – (R) – Comedy, Horror – In this fifth in the series of Chucky (Child’s Play) comedic horrors, Chucky and his twisted bride Tiffany are resurrected and reunited with their child, Glen, as they take Hollywood by storm... bloodstorm! Yep, they’re really bulking up on these family films for the holidays, aren’t they?

Now Showing ALFIE – (R) – Romantic Comedy – Although this is a remake of the 1960s film starring Michael Caine, it’s still a timeless concept: A bachelor/playah wants to have his cake and eat it too—hunh, imagine that! Easy-on-the-eyes Jude Law stars in this modern version as the “philosophizing womanizer who begins questioning his carefree lifestyle.” Also stars Susan Sarandon, Marisa Tormei and Omar Epps.

BIRTH – (R) – Drama – Nicole Kidman plays the young widow Anna who’s all set to start a new life when this cute little boy drops into her life claiming to be her reincarnated dead husband.

Sounds pretty heavy. Also stars Lauren Bacall, Danny Huston and Cameron—Wait a sec! Did you say Lauren Bacall? THE Lauren Bacall?!

Damn!

THE GRUDGE – (PG13) – Horror – You know how your mama told you never to hold a grudge?

Well, this little horror flick sets out to prove that point further as Sarah Michelle Gellar finds herself in a cycle of unresolved fury and a curse born of someone who... dunh duh!... held a grudge I HEART HUCKABEES – (PG13) – Comedy – Dysfunction and existentialism abounds in this allstar cast of misfits, including Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Jude Law, Naomi Watts, Mark Wahlberg,

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 After the Sunset - PG13 - Fr-W (12:35, 2:50), 5:05, 7:20, 9:45 The Grudge - PG13 - Daily (12:40, 3), 5:15, 7:35, 9:50 I Heart Huckabees - PG13 - Th only (1), 4:15, 7:05, 9:30

‘Til death do us part Isabelle Huppert and Jason Schwarzman.

THE INCREDIBLES – (PG) – Animation, Action Comedy – A family of former superheroes comes out of retirement to don masks and capes and brightly colored tights so they can, once again, fight evil and save lives. If only my family reunions were so benevolent!

Voices by Craig T Nelson, Samuel Jackson and Holly Hunter.

RAY – (PG13) – Musical Drama – The story of Ray Charles, blind from age seven, who famously merged Gospel, jazz and rhythm and blues music, all while fighting drug addiction and Southern segregation, eventually becoming one of the greatest American pianists of the 20th century. Stars Jamie Foxx and Regina King.

SAW - (R) - Suspense/Horror - Two men awake to discover themselves locked inside a chamber with a dead man, a gun and a couple of handsaws, in a terrific new game a genius psychopath has concocted to see how far his human pets will go to save their own lives.

Hmm... demented killers, experienced actors and no dumb, busty chicks screaming? This actually might be a bonafide scary movie on our hands! Starring Cary Elwes, Monica Potter and Danny Glover.

it up to his chick for being such a loser, the streets explode with zombies. Isn’t that always the way, guys? Now, instead of saving his relationship, the dude has to save London—at least, that’s what he’ll be telling his girlfriend later when he comes home late drunk, again.

SURVIVING CHRISTMAS – (PG13) – Romantic Comedy – Ben Affleck plays a rich record company exec who gets dumped by his girlfriend. Moping around and fearful of spending Christmas alone, he decides—for reasons that aren’t entirely clear—to go back to the home he grew up in and spend Christmas with the strangers who live there. Because this is a comedy, they turn out to be nuts. Also stars Christina Applegate and that dude who plays Tony Soprano.

TAXI – (PG13) – Action, Adventure, Comedy, Crime – At last, some Hollywood genius has finally made a movie about that beloved 1970s television situation comedy Taxi. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to see Jim and Latka and all the rest on the big screen… what? Oh, I guess this is something different, starring Jimmy Fallon as a cop who ends up partnered with taxi driver Queen Latifah. Yeah, I’d much rather see them than Andy Kaufman, Danny Devito and Christopher Lloyd. Also stars the reasonably attractive Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen.

SHALL WE DANCE? – (PG13) – Drama, Musical This movie reads like an after-hours flick on cable: “An overworked Chicago accountant (Richard Gere), tired of the boring routine that his life has become, sees a beautiful dance teacher (Jennifer Lopez) through a window and decides to get to know her better, and as the joy of dancing enters his life, he discovers that it might just be the secret to saving his troubled marriage...”

(Greg’s Previews, Yahoo Movies!)

A&E

FILM

Shark Tale - PG - Daily (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30 Taxi - PG13 - Th only (12:35, 2:50), 5:05, 7:20, 9:45

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 The Incredibles - PG - Th (1:30, 1:45), 4:30, 4:45, 7:45, 8, Fr-Sa (1:30, 1:45), 4:15, 4:30, 6:45, 7:15, 9:20, 9:40, Su-W (1:30, 1:45), 4:30, 5, 7:45, 8 The Polar Express - PG - Th (1, 3:10), 5:20, 7:30, Fr-Sa (1, 3:10), 5:20, 7:30, 9:35, Su-W (1), 4:45, 7 Ray - PG13 - Th, Su-W (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, Fr-Sa (1:15), 6:15, 9:15

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 The Incredibles - PG - Th (4:15, 4:30), 7:15, 7:30, 9:45, 9:55, Fr, M-W (4:30, 4:45), 7:15, 7:30, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (2, 2:15), 4:30, 4:45, 7:15, 7:30, 9:45, 10 Ray - PG13 - Th (4), 7, 10:15, Fr, M-W (4), 7, 10:05, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 10:05 Saw - R - Th only (4:45), 7:30, 9:45 Seed of Chucky (R) - Fr, M-W (4:45), 7:30, 9:40, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:30, 9:40

658 Front Street, 249–2222

8

$

*

After the Sunset - PG13 - Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 Alfie - R - Th (1:30, 4), 7, 9:30, Fr, M-W (2, 4:30), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7, 9:50 The Grudge - PG13 - Th only (2, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45 The Polar Express - G - Fr, M-W (1:30), 4, 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (11, 1:30), 4, 7, 9:30 Shall We Dance? - PG13 - Th only (1:45), 4:15, 7, 9:15

WED, NOV 17 *with MFF passport (5 films-$35)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

SHAUN OF THE DEAD - (R) - Comedy/Horror- Just when this poor 29-year-old schmuck is trying to make

DAY&NIGHT

Seed of Chucky - R - Fr-W (12:45, 2:55), 5:10, 7:25, 9:40

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

SHARK TALE – (PG) – Animation, Action Comedy – An all-star cast voices the story of a little fish (Will Smith) who tells tall tales and gets famous. There’s a shark that gets killed and some running—er, swimming—around as the shark family seeks retribution.

There’s also a love triangle involving the aforementioned little fish, a hot chick fish voiced by Angelina Jolie and a sweet girl fish voiced by Renee Zelleweger.

Other voices by Robert De Niro and Jack Black.

DINING

Polar Express - G - Daily (12:30, 1:15, 2:45, 3:30), 5, 5:45, 7:15, 8, 9:30, 10:10

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

23

PUREVOLUME STIFF LITTLE FINGERS “GUITAR AND DRUM”

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

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NOVEMBER 11, 2004

DAY&NIGHT

Here’s a sampling of their lyrics from the title song: “Well you get your entertainment through a corporate plan, via five young athletes in a dancing band...” That pretty much sums up what you’re going to get from SLF—this ain’t no boy band.

In fact, before you go buy that new Good Charlotte CD, pick this up first. “Strummerville” is a tribute to the Clash’s Joe Strummer and rocks like a mutha’—they even sing the refrain from “Clash City Rockers” at the end. This is a pretty strong recording all the way through, and helps me to believe in the power of guitars and drums all over again. —Kung Fu Records, 2004 [STEPHEN R. HART]

If you are looking for an antidote to the sugary-sweetness of teenage pop, turn your attention to Medulla. Featuring almost nothing but vocals with a small smattering of piano, Bjork sighs, coos, whispers and threatens, especially on the song, “Where is the Line,” which is reportedly about her teenage son. Her vocal range is beautifully contrasted against Rahzel the human beatbox and the baritone insanity of Mike Patton and his ring-modulated bag of tricks, along with an Icelandic choir and other notables. Bjork has never ceased to challenge her listeners, and this is no exception. —Elektra 2004 [STEPHEN R. HART]

VARIOUS ARTISTS “WOMEN OF LATIN AMERICA” Ahh, las Latinas—so sultry, passionate, strong and attractive! The Women of Latin America CD highlights the soulful, sensual depths of some of that country’s finest female musicians. Whether well known or undiscovered, all of the artists in the album create exquisite, contemporary songs that reflect the richness of their traditions. Mexican-American Lila Downs, who sang in the film Frida, sings beautifully in Mexico’s Nahuatl language. Undiscovered Chilean singers Jacqueline Fuentes and Mariana Montalvo sing haunting melodies. Susana Baca celebrates the Afro-Peruvian culture with “Caras Lindas.” Exceptional Brazilian vocalists create moving themes that respect and update their cultural sound. Women of Latin America captures the passion and soul of Latin music. — Putumayo World Music 2004 [JOE GATTO]

BANCO DE GAIA “YOU ARE HERE” Banco de Gaia is British musician and producer Toby Marks.

He is perhaps the most independent creative voice in the electronic music scene, as he is always pushing boundaries and injecting new sounds into the stagnant sonic landscape. You Are Here is Banco de Gaia’s first album since 2000’s Igizeh, which was recorded partly in the Giza pyramid. Global political themes are addressed musically and the album has a distinctive international feel with a mixture of sounds from all over the world. The majority of the record has an ambient quality, but “Zeus No Like Techno” is a great booty-shaking dance number and “Tongue In Chic” sports high-energy vocals by Jennifer Folker and a funky, Bhangra-esque type beat. —Six Degrees Records 2004 [JOE GATTO] Got Music? If you’d like to share your thoughts on a great or not-so-hot CD you just bought, it’s show and tell time here at Maui Time Weekly! Just send your sage words of music opinions to 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI, 96761 or email me at sam@mauitime.com.

Rock on! MTW

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY KELLIE R. HOLLIDAY AND SAMANTHA CAMPOS

David Sedaris will appear at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center’s Castle Theater on Sunday, Nov. 14 at 7:30 p.m., presented by UpWest Arts and Hawaii Public Radio.

Tickets are $40, $35, $30 and $25. Call the MACC Box Office at 242-SHOW (7469).

Licking Doorknobs Not talking with David Sedaris David Sedaris is a best-selling author of a bunch of books including Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked. A popular National Public Radio commentator, Time Magazine named him Humorist of the Year in 2001.

Sedaris’ show promoter contacted us about interviewing the author for his upcoming show. Of course! we said and began preparing questions.

SC: So he’s a narcissist because he’s sharing details about his personal life? I don’t think that’s right.

KRH: You’re saying that because you do the same kind of thing in Holoholo Girl. So why do you write?

SAMANTHA CAMPOS: Well, what do you want to ask him, Kellie?

SC: Because I think people are just funny, like, without trying to be. It’s those everyday things we do that are silly and goofy and… human, you know? Don’t take yourself too seriously, ‘cause I know I don’t.

KELLIE R. HOLLIDAY: Um, what kind of shampoo he uses?

KRH: Well, maybe that’s why David Sedaris writes.

SC: That’s your standard interview question, isn’t it?

SC: Jeez… thanks for helping me answer my own question, Kellie!

KRH: You can tell a lot about a person by the shampoo he uses!

KRH: There’s this woman and Sedaris helps to paint her house—I think in New York—and she’s strange. She’s not a lesbian but she’s kinda butchy. And there’s this guy who works with them who knows Sedaris is gay but he keeps asking him questions about women. And there are some pretty good stories about going to France and how he would learn one word each day, like “cabbage.” And whenever he would run into his French friends in the street, he would yell “Cabbage!” and they would just nod and smile.

Oh, and I like how he’s like me—he doesn’t drive. He won’t. So he’s on a bus and there’s an American couple. His boyfriend was at the back of the bus and Sedaris was standing at a pole and the couple was speaking in English, thinking that Sedaris couldn’t understand what they were saying, “Watch out for this French guy, he’s gonna steal from you. And he stinks, too.”

SC: What do you like about David Sedaris’ work?

KRH: It’s funny but at the same time, the stuff he writes—if it was you, it could be kinda depressing, it would suck.

There’s that one story with the paraplegic girl—did you read that one? Sedaris goes to college—I can’t remember which one.

You know, if you room with a handicapped person it’s cheaper, so he rooms with—I think she’s actually quadriplegic— and people ignore her in her wheelchair.

So she and Sedaris steal stuff or convince people to willingly give them food, money and stuff. But then they fought, too, so that was the end of that.

The way he writes—his dad is superanal and his mom is always like, scotch in one hand, cigarette in the other. All his sisters were close to him and their mom. Then she gets cancer and he talks about that— So I guess my question would be, how do you make stuff that isn’t funny, funny?

SC: It’s that whole tragedy plus time equals comedy theory. You know, lots of stuff I’m sure that has happened to you didn’t seem funny at the time but now it’s kinda hysterical ‘cause you’re not so close to it anymore.

KRH: I get the feeling that he’s vain.

Like if anything, he’s a narcissist writing an “it’s all about me” kind of thing.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

David Sedaris

SC: Wow. KRH: Or, I could ask him how he comes up with the titles for his stories. They can throw you off. Like “Plague of Ticks” was about how, as a kid, Sedaris was obsessed with licking things, like the doorknob or the mailbox or a cat or a leaf or something. And it was a routine he had to do everyday. So the title wasn’t about the ticks dogs get, see?

SC: I think I’ll ask him how it was to become so successful when everybody thought he was just a slacker growing up.

KRH: The thing is—someone who writes about Bill Gates and how smart and rich and successful he is—I can’t relate to that. I don’t get it. But David Sedaris is someone you know.

He writes about real, American life—some people are stupid, some people are nice or aholes or whatever. And he writes about things that could happen to anyone.

[Later, the promoter called us back: “I passed that interview request on... my guess is that David is already out on the 30-city tour (in 30-days) so... I figure it’s time to give up.

Sorry about the interview... We tried.”] MTW

SC: So what’s your question?

[We sit in silence for a couple minutes.]

SC: What do you ask the person who tells you everything already?

KRH: Maybe I could ask him what his favorite film is and why. Sedaris used to do drugs and make art and there’s this one movie with Rachel Leigh Cook and Freddie Prinze, Jr. where they do this weird performance art thing with paint and a hackeysack… Sedaris would take eggs and crack them on his head—really weird—or fry those little plastic army men in a frying pan and it was supposed to be deep.

Humorist of the Year 2001 and former doorknob licker, David Sedaris

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

25

thursday

11/11

BADA BING

friday11/12

saturday11/13 sunday11/14

monday11/15 – wednesday11/17

Pono Players, Comedy Improv $15, 8pm

1945 S Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

BLUE LAGOON

TUE - J.D. & Friends, No cover, 7-10pm

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8141

Industry Night, DJ No cover, 9pm

BOCALINO

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin Night No cover, 10pm

The Gina Martinelli Band $5, 10pm

CASANOVA

Space Ibiza, Electronic Sessions, $10, $7 w/Flyer, 9:45pm

Maui Boys Male Review $20, 9:45pm

Cool Rush, Pilani Aarias, HHB $10, 9:45pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

SUN - Upcountry Sundays, $7, 2pm; WED - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm MON - Kimo & Friends, 10pm Wed - Sunn Lounge w/DJ Sal, $5, 9pm-1:30am

No Information Available

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, 10pm; TUE - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata w/Vanessa Rodriques, 10pm; WED - Soul Concept w/Curtis Williams, 10pm, No cover

DJ Jose, Salsa, $5, 10pm

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS

performance by "Fist Full Of Blues" with Lukas and Micah Nelson, Andrew Kloppel along with special guests Vince Esquire and Jay Collins (NYC), saxophonist of the Gregg Allman Band. Tickets: $50-$40. 5 p.m., A & B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Na Lani `Eha - Nov 20. Four Kumu Hula and their halau from Maui join one of the most respected kumu hula of Hawaii`i and her halau to honor the ancestors in chant, dance and song. Hokulani Holt-Padilla with Halau Pa`u O Hi`iaka, Pali Ahue with Na Maile Ku Honua, Keali`i Reichel with Halau Ke`alaokamaile, and Napua Greig & Kahulu Maluo-Huber with Halau Na Lei Kaumaka O Uka. This program of Na Lani ‘Eha The Four Royals celebrates the life and accomplishments of royal siblings King Kalakaua, Queen Lili‘uokalani, Princess Likelike and Prince Leleiohoku. Tickets: $35$25-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Burt Bacharach - Nov. 21. The legendary composer of 52 remarkable Top 40 hits: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head,” Look of Love," "Close to You," "Blue on Blue," "What's New Pussycat" and "Walk On By." Burt Bacharach's songs combine elements of jazz, Brazilian music, torch songs and rock into memorable melodies with compositions that are meticulously crafted and technically sophisticated. Tickets: $75, $65, $55, $35.

7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Keola Beamer & R. Carlos Nakai - Nov 27.

Soothe the soul and lift the spirit with the nahenahe music of two internationally recognized, award winning master musicians. Slack key guitar virtuoso, Keola Beamer is one of Hawaii`'s most beloved performers.

The recipient of multiple Na Hoku Hanahono awards,

David Sedaris - Sunday. Best-selling author and humorist will read from his work. Presented by UpWest Arts and Hawaii Public Radio. Tickets: $40$35-$30-$25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242SHOW. Maui On Tap II - Sunday. Presented by Maui Tap Experience 2004. An exciting live tap concert, and the highlight of this year's three-day tap dance festival!

Featuring performances by guest professionals Julie Cartier, artistic director of Especially Tap Chicago; Jimmy Payne, Jr. of the Chicago Human Rhythm Project; and John Kloss, artistic director of the Bay Area Tap Festival. Tickets: $20 adults, students $15. 7 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

TICKETS ON SALE

An Evening with Jay Collins - Nov 18. Jazz, blues, funk saxophonist, singer/songwriter from New York City plus world renowned bassist Rob Wasserman who has played with Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Aaron Neville, Neil Young and Elvis Costello.

Tickets: $15 adv. 10 p.m., Paradice Bluz; 744 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-JAZZ (5299).

4th Annual Maui Music Festival - Nov 19. Texas Road House & Maui Music Exchange present a benefit concert for the Montessori School of Maui with special guests Willie Nelson and Friends. Also Pat Simmons of the Doobie Brothers, Rickie Lee Jones with bassist Rob Wassermann, Amy Hanaiali'i Gilliom & Eric Gilliom, Marty Dread, Gail Swanson and special

UpWest Arts & Hawaii Public Radio present...

DAVID SEDARIS No

LIVE ON STAGE

Su

LIVE

Sunday 7:30PM

Nov. 14

DA SEDA

Maui Arts & Cultural Center MACC Box Office: 242-SHOW (7469)

26

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

and performer, Neil never ceases to draw in audiences from all over the world. Tickets $45, $38, $25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Strike the Harp & Join the Chorus - Dec 11. The Maui Concert Chorus, Youth Chorus and special guest soloist Debra Lynn, soprano, for an uplifting evening of singing, harps, glass harp, chamber ensemble and much more, including a guest appearance by Damon Myers, baritone. Michael Titterton of Hawaii Public Radio will be the Guest Narrator. Tickets: $35-$25$15, 7:30 pm, Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Bela Fleck - Dec. 12. Cancelled.

Taj Majal - Dec 12. One of music’s most celebrated contemporary blues artists, both on his own merit and in league with many famous collaborators. A Grammywinning performer and songwriter, Taj has enraptured several generations of audience with his remarkable voice, which ranges from gruff and gravelly to smooth and sultry. Tickets: $40-$35-$30 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Matt Haimovitz - Dec 19. Haimovitz manifests a serious approach to the work, but his warm demeanor and natural expressiveness draw all audiences to share in his passion for the music. He is equally at ease playing the masterworks in the world’s concert halls or in pubs, clubs and pizza parlors, and is a celebrated performer, teacher and record label entrepreneur. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Howie Mandel - Dec 29. Howie Mandel's versatile career has encompassed virtually all aspects of the entertainment spectrum, ranging from television, film

his best-selling releases are both innovative and enthralling. R. Carlos Nakai, the world's premier Native American flutist. Tickets: $35, $30 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater. 242-7439.

Ballet Hawaii's Nutcracker - Nov 27-28. Amanda Schull, star of the film Center Stage and member of San Francisco Ballet, will dance the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy in Ballet Hawaii's spectacular Nutcracker.

Also featuring dancer Joan Boada as the Cavalier, and some of Hawaii's finest young dancers. Tchaikovshy's unforgettable score, lavish sets and amazing costumes. Tickets: $35-$25-$20-$10. 7:30 p.m. & Sun- 2 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC. 242-SHOW. Third World - Dec 4. Third World is more than just one of the top reggae bands of all time that stands for producing and performing music that, while holding firm to the cultural and ancestral roots of its' members, still pushes forward the cutting edge of music worldwide. With hits like “Now That We've Found Love," "96 Degrees in the Shade," "Cool Meditation," "Dancing on the Floor," "Try Jah Love," written by Stevie Wonder, "Sense of Purpose," "Forbidden Love," "Reggae Ambassador.” Special Guest Malino. Tickets: $35 advance, $40 door. 5:30 p.m., Lahaina Civic Amphitheater, Lahaina, 877-7919.

Neil Sedaka - Dec. 9. For almost five decades, Neil Sedaka’s timeless standards have entered the lexicon of popular culture and helped change the face of popular music. Hit singles such as “Breaking Up is Hard To Do,” “Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen,” “Laughter in the Rain,” are among the 1000 plus songs penned and or performed by Neil. As a prolific and versatile author

WIN A TRIP TO THE

UH VS MICHIGAN FOOTBALL GAME

Monday & Saturday Nights through Saturday, Nov. 13th

• • • •

2 Tickets to Game Airfare Car & Hotel Tailgate Party Must be present to win

2

$

.25 Miller Lite Bottles MGD Bottles 16oz Drafts Keep the Glass (while they last)

thursday11/11

friday11/12

saturday11/13 sunday11/14

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI

monday11/15 – wednesday11/17

Open Mic Night w/Mike Carroll 9pm

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Flava Zone 9pm

Salsa Benefit Party 9pm

Ladies Night Out 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Fantasy Five 9pm

MON - Willie K; TUE - Ultra Fab Tuesday, w/Fat Joe, 9pm; WED - Aloha Wed w/Jamin J

Nuffsedd $5, 10pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

MON - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm

Habanero Brothers No cover, 9pm

Lawai-a No cover, 9pm

Lonnnie Digable Allstars No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli No cover, 6-9pm

Da Hawaiians 6:30pm

Kenny Roberts 7:30pm

El Nino 7pm

Patriot Act 6:30pm

Cruz’n Fridays, Live Music $5, 10pm

Copacobana Night, $5, 10pm

Karaoke w/James 10pm

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

MON - Steve Mendoza, 7pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 7pm

DA KINECALENDAR EVENTs

Mana'o Radio's "Count Down to the Maui Music Fest" - Mon-Fri on 91.5 FM. Featuring live performances by the artists of the 4th Annual Maui Music Fest. 5 p.m. Mon: Gail Swanson & Vince Esquire, Tues: Eric Gilliom, Wed: The Planetary Bandits plus special guests, Thurs: Jay Collins Band with Special Guest Rob Wasserman. .

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12 Male Dirty Dancing - 10:30-11:30 p.m. at Casanova Italian Restaurant in Makawao. This a fundraiser for the Makawao Paniolo Parade. Open dancing before and after the show. Donations. For info, call 572-9565.

BellyRoll Dance Company - 7 p.m. & 8 p.m. at Café Marc Aurel,Wailuku. Café Marc Aurel offers an elegantly casual menu (Gourmet Cheeses, Dolmas, Tzaiki) and an extensive By-The-Glass wine list. Free.

For info, call 280-5814.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13 Festival of Giving - 5-8 p.m. at Queen Ka’ahumnau Center, Kahului. This year’s event is responsible for raising thousands of dollars that go to various local participating charities. The Festival is an opportunity to shop and enjoy entertainment, while giving back to the community. Tickets: $10. For info, call 877-3369 ext 25.

St. Anthony High School Dinner Auction 5:30-10:30 p.m. at Grand Waikapu Country Club, Wailuku. St. Anthony Junior Senior High goal is to provide a quality education for the youth of Maui. This year’s proceeds will benefit the entire St. Anthony O’hana, including improvements in fine arts, athletics, financial assistance programs, technology, materials and special training programs.

Taste of North Shore - 5:30-9:30 p.m. at Pa’ia Park, off of Hana Hwy. A benefit for the Pa’ia Youth and Cultural Center, a non profit organization. This event will include the North Shore’s finest restaurants, wine, beer, live music and a silent action. Tickets: $50 For info, call 579-8322.

Annual Lawn & Garden Fair - 10 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at Maui Tropical Plantation, Waikapu. Raffle prizes free veggie starters, along with PH testing. Horticultural speakers along with demonstrations on orchids, pruning, flower arranging, daylillies and fruit trees.

Entertainment by Homestead, Clark Tuitle, Magic Dude, The Hawaiian Serenaders. Free. For info, call 879-9169.

Hana Cultural Center’s 6th Annual Ho’olaulea - 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at the Hana Cultural Center grounds.

This year’s event includes traditional and contemporary Hawaiian crafts, demonstrations, music, hula, local style food along with an organic farmers market, a fresh catch fish market, a lei and flower arrangement contest. Silent action door prizes and children games and activities. Free. For info, call 248-8622.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

St. Anthony's Autumn Christmas Fair - 7:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at Marian Hall, St. Anthony's Church, Wailuku. Handmade crafts, seasonal decorations, local food, carpet remnants, silent auction, baked goods, vegetables, jams and jellies, pickled onions, plants, religious items. For info, call 244-4148.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14 Heavenly Music Meditations - 7 p.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku Cannery. This event is a fundraiser for the CVS Children’s School in India. A community singing experience with devotional chanting beautiful heart opening devotional music with the Maha Vishnu Kirtan Band featuring Lalita Star with Ken Stover, Vedra and many more celestial musicians, along with Kirtan Yoga.

Chai and Samoa will be served. Donation $5. For info, call 572-7100.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16 Sea Talk Series Film, “Learning to Sea” - 6 p.m. at Maui Ocean Center, Maalaea. With an introduction by the filmmaker Ziggy Livnat, a professional photographer and environmental educator. The film takes its viewers on tours through both oceans simultaneously, across the sandy plains, over the magical coral reefs, out into the big blue and back again. Free. For info, call 270-7084.

DINNER MUSIC

p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu & Mon The Whale Shark Erik Pietsch. 7 p.m. Howard Ahia Fri-Sun, 6:30 - Close. Hau Phat, Wed. 7 - 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thur, Fri,. Kawika Lum Ho, Sat, , Damien Tue, E rnest Puaa, Sun, Wed. Brian Haia, Mon All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and don, Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Th; Bradah Brian & Roy; Fr; Kawika Lum and Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – The Hazard County Sheriffs Funk Rock and Soul Fri-Sat only 8 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

WEST MAUI

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Mario, Fri - Sat, 2:30 -5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 2:30-5:30 p.m; 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Cafe O’Lei - Steve Sargenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11

Pancho and Lefty’s Cantina & Restaurant Thu; Neto Peraza 5-8 p.m. Sun; Mexican Sunday DJ Miguel. 658 Front St., Lahaina, in the Wharf Cinema Center, 661-4666.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm; Greg Di Piazza, Wed 6-9 pm., 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Darrin Lenett, Fri. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu, Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon,Tues Kapule Paoa, Sun, Albert Kaina, Wed All sets 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Sir Wilfred’s at Whalers Village - Maui West Side Jazz, featuring some Maui’s greatest musicians, 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Lahaina, 6610202.

SOUTH MAUI Bada Bing - Hilarious improv comedy with The Pono Players. Dinner & Show $35. Seating 5:30-7 pm 1945 S. Kihei Rd. in Kihei 875-0188.

Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Fri, Mon Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo Sat Braddah Frances and friends 6:30 p.m. Sun Terri Garrison 4 - 6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Frankie Sez...

This week on ‘North Shore’

Chris is lost—with his ex no less. Her sleazy relationship doctor husband has come to claim her—or is it someone new? MJ is convinced that they are off in Fiji together. Dr. Sleaze confirms her fears, but then puts the moves on her.

Then Alexandra calls in Frankie while she’s in the bathtub and Tessa pulls a Girls Gone Wild on Jason. Nicole, rages at her new boss, pushing her into the water fountain in front of guests, which gets her fired. Alex then tells Jason that everyone is replaceable and the whole hotel goes on strike during her party. But then she rehires Nicole and makes her Tessa’s boss again. Oh, and Gabe learns that Erika didn’t flake on the job he got her because she was hung over. In fact, she was sick because she’s pregnant with his baby!

By Kellie R. Holliday

and stage. From his work on St. Elsewhere to the Emmy nominated "Bobby's World," Howie has become a mainstay of the American comedy scene. Tickets: $45-$35-$25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC.

Line of the week “Yeah, cuz you stuck your tongue in my ear and your hand down my pants.” –Chris’s reason for crashing his Jeep

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

27

thursday11/11

friday11/12

saturday11/13 sunday11/14

monday11/15 – wednesday11/17

The Whillys No cover, 10pm

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Karaoke 9:30pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

LIFE’S A BEACH

Reggae 4 Real w/Sunance No cover, 9pm

Patriot Act No cover, 9pm

Sirrus B Posse No cover, 9pm

Free Karaoke No cover, 9pm

MON - Open Jam w/Adam 9pm; TUE - Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm; WED - Guys’ Night Out, 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm, No cover

DJ Shark In The Water No cover, 9pm

Jamie Lawrence & Friends No cover, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LOBSTER COVE

100 Ike Dr., Wailea - 879-7677

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 891-8883

Willie K, $7, 10pm

PHOTO: MAUIROOTS

>>>

28

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

>

WINTER SURF ISSUE_2004 THIS THANKSGIVING

thursday11/11

friday11/12

Merv Ohana No cover, 8pm

The Whillys No cover, 8pm

Larry Council Band No cover, 8pm

Service Industry Night, No cover, 9pm

MON - Monster Mondays, No cover; TUE - Tini Tuesdays, No cover; WED - Karaoke night w/Tyrone, No cover, 8-11pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Mackie Mac; TUE - DJ Mackie Mac & Big Zeek, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Eric & Amy Gilliom in Wailea Nights, 7:30pm

Eric & Amy Gilliom in Wailea Nights, 7:30 pm

Murray Thorne No cover, 8pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 8pm; WED - Trevor Jones & Rene Alonzo, No cover, 5-8pm

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

saturday11/13 sunday11/14

monday11/15 – wednesday11/17

NEPTUNES

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Mexican Sunday, DJ Miguel 8pm-11am

PANCHO & LEFTY’S

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4666

Damien Awai $5, 10pm

PARADICE BLUZ 744 Front St. 667-5299

Karma Productions 10pm

Gina Martinelli $5, 10pm

NFL Sundays 10am

MON - Live Monday Night Football, No cover, 2pm; TUE - Tahitian Tues, 9pm; WED - Live Blues w/Bobby Ingram, $5, 10pm

DA KINECALENDAR Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, dinner and show. 810p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Pianist Angela Carr, Fri, 6-9 p.m.; guitarist Luis Diaz, Sat, 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, Wed,- Sun 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei 874-8385.

CENTRAL MAUI

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Kapalua Kapalua Indoor Amphitheater Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts. Every Tues 6:30 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $35 visitor and $25 kama`aina.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace.

Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan &

Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Mon & Sat-Su Mitch Kepa, Tue-Fr Benny Uyetake, Tue- Fri, Benny Uyetake 6 - 9pm. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue & Thu, and Wed& Sat 7- 9p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contem-

Mañana Garage – Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz; 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artist Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Vintage Hawaiian Music Wed, Fri Live Jazz. Sun Anik 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Swan Court. The Blue Note Swing Orchestra, Dancing nightly to Swing.Tue,Th, Sat, 2 p.m.- 4 p.m.

Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.

Dancing with DJ Blast Sat top 40 hits Sat 9:30 p.m.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656

NEWS

COVER STORY

Late Night Specials 10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

50% OFF SUSHI & APPETIZERS FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL 5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

Kapalua 669-6286 The Shops at Kapalua

The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

LETTERS

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

SURF

Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

29

thursday11/11 SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

friday11/12 saturday11/13 sunday11/14

DJ Miah & Durty $5, 8pm

Voodoo Suns $5, 10pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali - 667-4727

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

MON - North Shore Sextet, No cover, 9pm; TUE - Nils & Anastasia, No cover, 9pm; WED - Lawai’a, No cover, 10pm

Return of Vince Esquire $5, 10pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

monday11/15 – wednesday11/17

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

Crunch Pups $3, 9pm

Habanero Brothers $3, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

MON - Monday Night Football, No cover; TUE - Habanero Brothers, No cover; WED - John Moore Project, 9pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

STUDIO MAUI

810 Haiku St., Haiku - 575-9390

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

DA KINECALENDAR porary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu; Brian Mansano, Fri; Ricardo, Sat; Luis Diaz, Sun thru Tue; Mitch Kepa, Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly

in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Wow-Wee Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill: Marty Dread Kava & BBQ Party. Every Sunday 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. All age welcome. 333 Dairy Road, Kahului, 873-7133.

POLITICAL

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

ART

Art Night at Lahaina Galleries - Fri, 7-10 p.m.

Front Street, Lahaina. For special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action, and refreshments. Open to the public. Free. For info, call 667-9194.

KEiKI Hula O Na Keiki 2004 - Fri-Sat, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Kaanapali Beach Hotel. This Hawaiian festival of arts and crafts will have over 25 artisans’ crafts from all over the island, along with entertainment, cultural workshops such as Pahu Drum Carving, Lei Making seven Hula Implement making. Tickets: Reserve $20.

General admission $12. For info, call 661-0011.

Lahaina Arts Society Outreach Program - Sa-Su 12 - 3 p.m. at the banyan tree in Lahaina. The Lahaina Arts Society and its Outreach Program is offering art classes to children. Materials will be provided. Free. For info, call 661-0111 ex.22.

LECTURES

The Dragon’s Den Health Lecture - Sat, 9:3011:30 a.m. at The Dragon’s Den, Makawao. Speaker Matthew Hammond will speak on the topic of general cleansing all systems. This comprehensive training gives a full understanding of the healing journey on all levels. Free. For info, call 572-2424.

POETRY

Maui Live Poets Society - Thu, 6:30-9 p.m. in Lahaina. Open poetry readings. For info, call 661-0517.

November Business After Hours - Thu, 7-8 p.m. at Tiffany and Co., The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui Drive, Kihei. Presented by The Maui Chamber of Commerce, and sponsored by Tiffany & Co. Pupus and drinks will be served. All donations will be given to Friends of the Children's Justice Center of Maui. For info, call 269-0142.

The East Maui Animal Refuge “Boo-Boo Zoo” Fundraiser - Sat, 6 p.m. at The Sandalwood Golf Course at the Grand Waikapu. This is the 9th annual silent auction fundraiser. There will be live entertainment featuring Dorothy Betz & Les Adams with tropical harps. Door prizes, along with heavy pupus.

Tickets: $45, $65 reserved seating. For info, call 5722398.

STAGE

The Fine Beauty of the Island - Fri, 7:30-9:30 p.m. at Makawao Union Church, Paia. A new solo musical theater piece. Written and performed By Celtic harpist and storyteller Patrick Ball. Tickets: $12 For info, call 878-6958.

SPORTS

Open Gym Nights - Tue & Thu, 6:30-9 p.m. at Lahaina Civic Center. Sports that are available will include basketball, volleyball, table tennis and board games.

Families are invited. For info, call 661-4685.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

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30

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

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For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

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FILM

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

31

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EMPLOYMENT

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Need regional or national ebay Opportunity! recruitment exposure? $11-$33/hr possible. Training provid- Advertise your hard-to-fill positions in ed. No experience required. For more more than 100 newspapers just like information Call (866) 621-2384 this one and reach up to 17 million WARREN & ANNABELLE’S young, active, educated readers! Go Maui’s most fun and amazing show is Ext.6058 to www.aancan.com or contact this looking to add: MY SECRET GARDEN newspaper for more info. (AAN CAN) PT SERVER Is looking for attractive, feminine (Male & Female) must have great per$ MODELS WANTED $ applicants who are dependable, confisonality & neat appearance to join our energetic team! Must have dent, friendly & have social etiquette For calendar magazine and artistic great personality & neat appearance. for escort service and/or sensuous print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 Apply in person. Monday- Friday 9am- bodywork. No experience necessary COOL TRAVEL JOB. but must have an open mind. Work is 4pm 900 Front St., Lahaina fun with us and the pay is excellent. Entry level positions, 18+, no experience necessary, 2 weeks paid trainGOOFY FOOT SURF SCHOOL, 579-6400 ing, transportation, lodging provided.

LLC YOUTH COUNSELOR/TEACHER $500 signing bonus to start. TOLL Share love of surfing. Surf School Co- Make a difference in at-risk kids lives.

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661-3784, E-mail: surfmaui@goofy- CAN) footsurfschool.com, 505 Front Street, Suite 123 Lahaina YOUTH COUNSELOR/TEACHER Make a difference in at-risk kids lives.

A JOB OF YOUR DREAMS Get paid to canoe, backpack and “Recreation Attendants” Work pool make friends you’ll keep for life. Yearand beachside at one of our luxurious round residential positions, Excellent resort locations. F/T and P/T avail- salary & benefits. Online Application: able, excellent pay & benefits. Must www.eckerd.org. Or send resume: apply in person: Beach Activities of Career Advisor/ AN, Eckerd Youth Maui, 991 Limahana Place, Suite F-4, Alternatives, PO Box 7450, Call 661-5500. Come ready to be Clearwater, FL 33758. EOE.(AAN interviewed!!

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NOTICES ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

S.&W. MAUI CONDOS from $175,000 W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $375,000 Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R)

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

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Each astrological sign is a sort of reaction to the one preceding it. Thus, in many ways, they’re like opposites.

But because they’ve just been there, each tribe has a pretty good understanding of the one before theirs on that good old cosmic wheel. This is why your chief allies can be found among the Sagittarian tribe this week; they thoroughly understand what you’re up to (possibly even better than you do), and they approve—for once.

Although your methods differ, your potential to complement each other and be teammates is tremendous at the moment. They get you, and you respect them. It’s a brilliant combo. Try it.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) You Sagittarians are at your best when you manage to adhere to a strict (and personal) moral code. However, requiring or expecting the same for those around you only brings out the worst in you. Very few can keep up with your degree of honor and honesty; judging the masses who fall short, despite their best efforts, only deprives you of their entertaining, fun and often educational company, and them of your brilliance and stunning example. Get the equation? Judge others from a place of righteousness, and you beget a lose-lose situation. Live and let live, however, is a win-win all the way.

AD DEADLINE

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) You won’t be cut any slack. You won’t receive the benefit of any doubts. What you will get, however, you’ll have worked for, hard, and earned, righteously. Let this enhance your enjoyment of the many pleasures this week will nevertheless offer, instead of highlighting the handful of opportunities you missed out on. Don’t feel too sorry for yourself for not being luckier, or subject to lower standards. Them’s the breaks. Could it possibly help to learn that most of those you know consider you quite lucky, and would switch places with you in a flash? Perhaps when you realize how many people are dying to get into your supposedly unlucky shoes, you’ll appreciate standing in them yourself.

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You might as well be the family dog this week. You’re just as wordlessly subject to the moods and whims of the people around you, especially those you live with. Your spiritual laryngitis occurs because you’ve learned (or been trained) that bringing up issues often makes things worse, not better. Before you start passive-aggressively crapping in the corners instead of bringing up what’s bugging you, I wanted to mention that this week is better than most for raising (and resolving) conflicts, without falling into the trap of aggravating them. Ditch the leashtugging and the puppy-dog eyes. They’re not working. Open your mouth and speak.

Call 661-3786

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) People are constantly clamoring for you to commit. They don’t get that simple decisions in their world are immensely complex ones in yours. Consequently, they get frustrated as you debate and dither and decide for hours, days or weeks at a time, and even more annoyed when you change your mind 10 minutes after your “final” decision. You can understand their aggravation, but it doesn’t help. Luckily, this week’s astrological influences will help, allowing you to be more decisive, direct and dominant than usual. Take advantage, and give these guys what they’ve been asking for, and then some.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

FAX NUMBER

Thankfully, Mars is finally venturing out of that diplomatic and overly careful sign, Libra, and venturing into the badass, no-holds-barred, wild frontier territory of Scorpio. That’s much more your style; weirdly enough—even though you’re coming from quite different places—on the surface, members of the Aries and Scorpio tribes appear very similar. Thus you ought to feel right at home over the next few weeks, utterly at ease inside your skin. This, besides being quite pleasant and intoxicating on its own, has the thrilling side benefit of making you much more attractive to those around you. I won’t counsel you not to take advantage of this. In fact, I’d be quite disappointed if you didn’t.

808.661-0446

Jason Meyer

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I’m about to finish the third of three immense books. After nearly three thousand pages of text, I find myself, incongruously, slowing down—I’m reluctant for this long journey to be over. You, too, are ironically down-shifting as you approach the finish line, for similar reasons. However, unlike me, you’re actually in a kind of race, and losing momentum now could be disastrous. Kick it back into high gear, my dear. The race will end at the same time whether you go fast or slow, so wouldn’t you rather be in first place than last?

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GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) What’s this? A Gemini not being understood? That’s almost unheard of. Because of your ability to see things from, and express, different perspectives, people rarely have trouble getting what you’re saying. But right now the confusion lies in your very versatility—it’s how you see an issue that’s in question, not the issue itself. The simplest solution, naturally, is rejecting one whole side of your perspective and simply and firmly committing to just one view. Forget that, though. The more complex (and, I think, better) way is laying it all out on the table. Take the time to explain, in as much detail as necessary, the big picture. If they can stay with you from start to finish, you’ll have earned yourself a staunch and superb new ally. If they lack that kind of patience, well, screw ‘em.

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CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

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This week you face the New Moon in Scorpio; a unique opportunity for self-reinvention and renewal. The New Moon is always a good time to start new ventures, plant seeds and explore new openings. The astrological sign of Scorpio also has a cyclic nature: one of its symbols is the phoenix, who resurrects herself from the ashes of her own demise. The combination of the two forces can powerfully help you Cancers (who are ruled by the Moon) to drastically transform yourselves. We’re talking something a bit deeper than an extreme makeover, though, a change that extends down to one of your most basic and fundamental behaviors. This week, you can rewrite that core programming without a hitch, no questions asked.

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Mirror, mirror, on the wall... Perversely, when you don’t like someone, nine times out of 10, it’s because they remind you of something you dislike in yourself. It’s distasteful looking at this negatively distorted reflection, so you understandably shy away in horror and revulsion. The problem is, you often fail to notice how much this awful person is actually, terrifyingly, just like you. The cure for this animosity towards them is a little much-needed, longoverdue self-acceptance. Be kinder to yourself; you’ll end up being kinder to those poor fellows who probably need a little compassion. Or vice versa: You could start with being gentle with them and end up being much more gentle with yourself. Either way you work it, it works both ways.

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VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) This week you can see in infrared. At first, you may simply notice that your focus is way out of whack, that you’re having trouble looking at (and thus doing) things in your usual fashion. However, if you’re patient, you’ll realize that this unconventional mode of viewing the world has its advantages. Yes, it disrupts your routine most effectively. But it also reveals much that’s usually invisible. Discovering these heretofore hidden facets of your relationships and general existence may or may not help you, ultimately. But one thing’s certain: knowing about them sure couldn’t hurt.

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NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

You feel like the center of the universe at the moment, and with good reason; you’re at least the focal point of your own metaphorical solar system. Don’t be alarmed when the orbits of some of the planets rotating around you start to decay this week, however. These gassy giants and magma-cored satellites are still (mostly) under your charming sway. They’ve just responded to the passage of a wandering comet, in the form of another charismatic character. His or her minor gravity can’t possibly threaten your brilliance, ultimately, only steer one or two of your most intimate buddies temporarily off-course. Resist the urge to tyrannically rein them back in; let your wandering peeps come back on their own. They will.

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LETTERS

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Maui Lawn Works

(808) 661-1800

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

33

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: It might have been. —John Greenleaf Whittier I met Will when I moved to Maui, more than seven years ago. I was fresh out of a five-year relationship in San Francisco, had just graduated college and was looking for a little fun in the sun before I had to return to my predictably linear school-career-family life on the mainland.

He was an impossibly good-looking bartender where I worked. I was new to Maui, single and carefree—which lasted about a month. We quickly launched into a full-fledged, dysfunctional relationship. He questioned the length of my skirts and I became insecure about his work-related flirting.

“When you’re a slut, they treat you like a girlfriend,” says my friend Jen. “And when you’re a girlfriend, they treat you like a slut.”

About a year later, Will told me he was moving back to the mainland. He said it was to take care of his mother, who was divorced and alone, but I didn’t believe him. I figured, as most young girls do, that it was all about me. I pleaded and whined and grieved our relationship.

“Why did it have to end now?” I cried.

When his mother died about a year after that, I hung my head in shame.

Maui’s easy-living island vibe is attractive to many people, including those who need to “take a break” from obligations on the mainland. Eventually, when it’s time for those people to take care of their responsibilities, they go back home and end up leaving behind whatever they started here. Including some—but not all–of their baggage.

Some love-struck ultimately choose to trail along with their mainland-bound partners.

Others, maybe realizing the futility of following blindly without having a plan of their own, stay behind.

Not all situations end the same way, of course, but lots of our relationships on Maui result in a one-way ticket to What If Land when transplants prepare to export back to the mainland.

“It’s like, when you have baggage from people you’ve loved in the past, you end up hurting the people you love in the future,” says Jen. “And when you don’t have baggage from not hurting the people you’ve loved, you end up hurting yourself.”

Jen has been single on Maui for six years. She’s gone on many dates and had lots of fun but like most single people, she’s experienced the occasional loneliness that comes with the territory. She’s also comfortable with who she is and where she’s from—something not all women achieve when they float from one relationship to the next.

Once, Jen met someone she liked enough to end her single cycle. He kept her laughing for hours on end, was affectionate and appreciative. And then he told her he was going to leave soon. He would be moving back to the mainland to attend to family obligations.

“It’s hard not to have pressure when you’re in a new relationship,” she says. “You’ve never been in that particular situation with that person before— you don’t know what’s what, what the boundaries are.”

Is it the stability we find in committed relationships that makes us suddenly feel we’re ready to face whatever it was we were running away from? Or is the running away from the relationship simply a continuation of the initial problem of not committing?

“People who aren’t ready for commitment subconsciously let themselves get into relationships that are easy to get out of,” says my other friend Rudi.

Is it fear of failure? Or maybe the dude just had shit to do.

At the time, Jen was torn. If she stopped a relationship she enjoyed but knew would be ending soon, she might open herself to more-lasting opportunities. But if she went with it and enjoyed the relationship for the short time they would have, the good times would be tainted, knowing that the end was near.

“I just wanted to know the right answer,” she says.

But, in love, sometimes the right answer just plain sucks. MTW

34

NOVEMBER 11, 2004

CLASSIFIED

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Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

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