06.24 Is Gallagher Still Funny?, December 12, 2002, Volume 6, Issue 24, MauiTime

DECEMBER 12

2002

VOLUME 6

ISSUE 24

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GALLAGHER

is he still funny?

Hey Ladies 5

Warlord 6

Mana 13

Rock Hard 17

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MAUITIMEWEEKLY COVER STORY Gallagher . . . . . . . . . . . .8 Is he still funny?

by Christy Miles

NEWS George W. Bush, Warlord! . . . . . . . . . . .6

by Ted Rall

I Love Lahaina . . . . . . . .7 Gallagher’s Naked Melonhead P. 8

SURF & SPORTS Hi Tech Surf Bash XIII . . . . . . . . . .12

by Sara Artman

Mana O Ka Moana Ocean Race . . . . . . . .13

DEPARTMENTS Letters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 Force Fed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 Opinions by Travis Henderson

by Chris Stankis

EH BRAH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5

DINING

by Anonymous

Paia Fish Market . . .14

by Mat Seavey

News of the Weird . . . . . . . .10

by Chuck Shepherd

A&E Kill the Pain . . . . . . .17 Anesthesia is back!

by Samantha Campos

Dining Listings . . . . . . . . .15-16 The Valley Isle’s most up-to-date dining resource.

Wine of the Week . . . . . . . . .16

by Anthony Moore

FILM CRITIQUE DeNiro Gets Egg . . . .18

Difficult Listening . . . . . . . . .25

Analyze That - One Star

by Cole Smithey

Music Reviews by Tang Li Wheebs & The Mole

Maui Time Personals . . . . . .29

DAY&NIGHT This Week’s Picks . . . . . . .17 Movie Capsules . . . . . . . . .19 Movie Times . . . . . . . . . . .19 Da Kine Calendar . . . .20-25 The Grid . . . . . . . .26, 27, 28 Maui’s nightlife at a glance.

The Advice Goddess . . . . . . .30

by Amy Alkon

Kozmic Breeze . . . . . . . . . . .30

by Koz McKev

Classified Listings . . . . . .30-31 Back Side . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32

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Editor: Jennifer Spector jen@mauitime.com Director of Advertising: Jeff Onderko jeff@mauitime.com Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com

Contributing Writers: Travis Henderson, Cole Smithey, Mat Seavey, Chuck Shepherd, Samantha Campos, Amy Alkon, Koz McKev, Sara Artman, Chris Stankis, Tang Li Wheebs, The Mole, Christy Miles, Ted Rall, Jojoboy, Ted Rall Photography: Aaron Chang, Kirsten Guenther, Kerry K. Baker, Ric Larsen

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MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2002 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

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LETTERSTOTHE EDITOR DON’T DEMOLISH

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DECEMBER 12, 2002

NEWS

Consolidated Amusement’s “abrupt” closing of three more of Waikiki’s treasures, and in one fatal swoop, is being justified by management as "no longer a viable business.” While one might begin to understand the closing of the Waikiki 1 and 2, it’s the Waikiki 3 that has me the most riled.

The pending loss of this 1,300-seat THEATRE with its full stage house, orchestra pit and grand theater pipe organ is but another example of how Hawaii’s short-sighted unimaginative businessmen constantly trash our history with impunity. This is a classic theatre folks - and civilized people do not tear down classic structures. They repurpose them to retain examples of eras long gone.

Let’s see now, what might one do with a 1200 seat theatre of this caliber and style right in the middle of Waikiki – if one were in the entertainment business? The mind boggles over the possibilities. You can be certain that Consolidated’s University Theatre is not far behind the wrecking ball and will soon join the Toyo, the Haleiwa Theatre, and now the Waikiki 1, 2, & 3. I am certain there have been others - but then I’ve only been here 20 years.

I did find the comments by Consolidated's VP “…no immediate plans for the roughly two acres of land” to be disingenuous. You can bet they know exactly what they are going to do – and when. There must be a special place in Hell for such myopic cultural vandals. Can we not somehow rally to save the Waikiki 3?

Scott Foster, Via Email

MAHALO MAYOR This is a wonderful day for Maui! Our Mayor-elect has appointed Michael Foley planning director and Rob Parsons will be Chief of the Department of Public Works and Environmental Management. Alan Arakawa is off to an excellent start. Thank you Mr. Mayor elect.

Eloise Engman

REUSING GROCERY BAGS A few months ago, my husband and I made a small change to change our shopping habits. We began re-using our grocery bags.

We felt that we could no longer afford the convenience of single-use plastic bags after finding that neither plastic processor on island was equipped to separate plastic bags and make sure they got re-used or recycled.

Because plastic bag recovery is a challenging process, only .7% are recycled in America. Each year, the remaining 5.6 billion bags are thrown away. That’s 40,000 tons of plastic which takes up 4,418 million cubic yards of landfill space!

We started changing our habits by bringing our grocery bags back into the store when we shopped. Many grocery stores gave a 5 cent credit for each bag we re-used. Next, we began asking for paper instead of plastic. When our paper bags got old, we recycled them with our cardboard.

Later, we bought cotton grocery bags, which are available at many of the stores. When those bags get dirty, we throw them into the washing machine. In the future, we plan to keep our old linen out of the landfill by sewing it into produce bags.

The hardest part about making this change was remembering to bring our bags into the store. We had to re-train ourselves by walking back to the car for our bags when we forgot.

The benefit to us is peace of mind from knowing that we aren’t contributing plastic bags to Maui’s Central Landfill.

Camille Armantrout, Makawao

IN MEMORIAM I remember my father, a veteran of World War I, who memorized the eye chart before his physical so he could get into the Army despite his very bad eyes. He served in base hospitals in France as an orderly, caring for terribly wounded men. He taught us children the World War I songs, "K-k-k-Katie", "It's a long long way to Tipperary", and "Over There".

And later he bandaged our cuts and scrapes with professional skill.

I remember my brother, who in World War II enlisted in the Navy at 17, and my former husband, who left college to join the Navy. Neither had to serve in combat because the war ended just before they would have been sent to the bloody, grinding Pacific war. I tell my secondguessing grandchildren that if they had had family members serving in that war, they would have been grateful that the A-bomb ended it before we had to invade the Japanese homeland.

My children were too young for Vietnam, thank God. They never had to face the choice of exile, prison, or serving in an unjust war.

(George W. Bush and Dick Cheney evaded combat through pull).

I remember 28 years ago, when the Vietnam Veterans Against the War (VVAW) marched in peaceful protest against the war.

These decorated combat veterans marched from Concord Massachusetts to Boston, along the route of the first armed revolt against Britain. They camped on Lexington Green, where the first shots of the Revolution were fired. They camped against the Selectmen's orders, and were joined by 400 of the town's citizens, so that all could be arrested together.

Now John Kerry, one of their leaders, is a U.S. Senator from Massachusetts.

I expect George Bush's war against Iraq to expand. Pakistan, other Arab countries, North Korea, who else? Now my grandson will soon be faced with a choice. Exile, prison, or kill Iraqis whose only crime is living in a country with a bad leader.

When is this madness going to stop?

Sally Raisbeck

Hey amateur guitar playin’ guy, You suck. You’re not original. You’re not talented. You know what you are? Annoying!

When you play in the halls and in the parking lot... When you play at the pool and at the laundry room... Your friends don’t tell you because they want to be nice. Your girlfriend doesn’t tell you because she wants to be nice. I’m not nice. Your spontaneous one-man shows are pissing me off. If you’re not grubbing quarters on the corner or in a recording studio, I don’t want to hear you play. For the love of God and everything that is holy give it a rest. This is Lahaina, Maui, brah, not Haight & Ashbury. Do us all a favor and pick up a board and put down your guitar.

- Irate Spinnaker Apt. Resident

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to live for and nothing to die for. But that doesn’t mean we want them hanging out with us every step of the way, and Martha shouldn’t want to be hanging out every step of the way.

How many times have you heard girls get excited over the prospect of "girls’ night out"? It used to be a big thing for a guy to have his night out with the boys but then girls discovered the fun in going out with just your friends and not your significant others. You could talk smack, let your hair down, and just have a little bit of fun that comes from hanging without the old ball and chain. Both men and women can enjoy this kind of freedom and you know what? That’s O.K. Unless you’re Martha Burke and happen to represent an organization of women who don’t want guys to have their night out.

Augusta National is a Men’s Club and the Masters is a men’s tournament that mostly men watch. There are plenty of women’s golf tournaments out there that only women watch.

Maybe if the women that Burke represents would take a step back and say "Maybe we should form our own club around one of these tournaments and exclude the men", they would understand that it’s not about discrimination, it’s about having a little bit of fun.

The bottom line is, Martha Burke and her organization have mistaken Augusta National’s membership roster with making a statement about equality. But it’s not about equality. It’s about Martha Burke trying to achieve acceptance from men. She wants men to let her into their world and maybe that stems from something deeper in her life. But it’s sad nonetheless because she’s dragging down a fine institution, albeit one filled with crusty curmudgeons.

Normally, April is nothing more than the month the whales finally start to leave Maui and the jet ski operators and parasailing boats start to annoy the waters again. But this year, come April and The Masters, things will be different. There will be protest signs and talk show fiascoes, all because of Martha Burke. And even if a woman does gain membership to Augusta National, she has not achieved equality. She has not broken down a single gender barrier. She has simply become a member in an elitist club that is shut off to 99% of the world, including me.

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It’s interesting that at the same time the State of Hawaii inaugurates its first female governor with very little fanfare regarding what should be a gender equity milestone, there’s an entirely different scene going on at Augusta National golf club.

Augusta National, home of golf’s most prestigious and tradition-rich golf tournament, The Masters, has been under heavy fire recently from Martha Burke, president of the National Council of Women’s Organizations.

The problem is Augusta National does not have any female members. First and foremost, Augusta National is an entirely private institution that is given legal freedom to create its own membership policies. While there is no expressly written policy at Augusta National barring women members, Ms. Burke is firmly convinced that their policies amounts to gender discrimination.

My question is, in this day and age, when we have female governors, senators, and Supreme Court Justices, how does Augusta National’s private policy amount to discrimination? The State of Hawaii just elected its first female governor and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was a woman.

Nobody was trying to break down discrimination barriers here, there were just two very legitimate governor candidates who happened to be female. The sun didn’t shine extra bright on Female Nation, the birds didn’t sing a little louder – it was just a transition of power from one person to another.

As a Supreme Court Justice, Sandra Day O’Connor is one of the most influential people in the country. Janet Reno was this country’s top cop for a number of years. It’s obvious that women are not being discriminated against in this country. So why is Martha Burke so convinced that Augusta National stands between her and absolute equality?

What is it about this golf club that prohibits Martha from feeling good about herself?

There’s no denying that women are some of the most beautiful and sweet souls that inhabit the earth. Without them, men would be more than lost; they’d be useless.

Without women, men would have nothing

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DECEMBER 12, 2002

NEWS

OPED

BY TED RALL

George W. Bush,

Warlord!

A Presidential Impostor Turns Political Assassin First he appointed himself President.

Now George W. Bush has declared himself God. As Americans begin their third year of Supreme Court-ordered political occupation, Bush has just signed an impressive new executive order. You may be surprised to learn that it grants him the right to order your execution. No judge, jury or lawyer. No chance to prove your innocence. One stroke of Bush’s pen, and bang -- you’re dead.

Not even your American citizenship, according to Bush, will save your life if and when he decides to kill you. The only reason you’re reading this right now--instead of meeting the Entity Formerly Known as God--is that neither Bush nor one of his “high-level officials” has yet signed a piece of paper declaring you an “enemy combatant.” Once they do the paperwork, Administration officials assert, they have the right to murder you.

Bush’s secret assassination directive surfaced on Dec. 3, when reporters asked about the Nov. 3 Central Intelligence Agency rub-out of alleged Al Qaeda operatives riding in a car in Yemen. Langley fired a Hellfire missile from a remote-controlled Predator drone into the vehicle, blowing up several men. The CIA later discovered that an American citizen, Kamal Derwish, had inadvertently been killed in the inferno.

“No constitutional questions are raised here,” asserted National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, stretching credulity more than usual. Officials claim that a loophole in Bush’s order authorizing the CIA to “covertly attack Al Qaeda all over the world” validates Derwish’s murder. Since this sneaky directive makes exception neither for Americans nor American soil, these guys say, you and I have no more rights than the nowdeceased, not-presumed-innocent Kamal Derwish.

Your life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are now officially subject to George W. Bush’s personal judgement--or whim.

The war on terrorism isn’t a war, it’s a cheesy public service announcement, like the “war on poverty” and the “war on drugs.” Like those old un-won campaigns, it involves no declaration of war, no defined enemy, no front. And like

them it will gradually fade into embarrassing irrelevance. “Can you believe it?” future citizens will marvel. “People actually took this stuff seriously!” In the meantime, America’s Gang of Four--Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Ashcroft--have brilliantly exploited the nebulousness of nullity. Having no enemy means that anyone can be declared the enemy. Having no battleground means that the battleground is anywhere and everywhere. “The Bush Administration and Al Qaeda together have defined the entire world as a battlefield,” writes the Associated Press’ John J. Umpkin.

While the CIA has targeted U.S. citizens in the past, those killings were officially sanctioned only when the person in question was considered an immediate threat to American lives. Scott L. Silliman, director of the Duke University Center on Law, Ethics and National Security asks: “Could you put a Hellfire missile into a car in Washington, D.C. under the same theory? The answer is yes, you could.”

Never mind that anyone driving on the Beltway could just as easily be pulled over by the cops. Like the medieval lords who wielded the right of life and death over their subjects, our Texan warlord now claims the droit du seigneur over the American people.

Under his legalized assassination mandate, Bush could theoretically declare the 2004 Democratic nominee an “enemy combatant,” Hellfire his campaign bus and coast to reelection unopposed. It would be a heck of a lot easier than preparing for debates.

Granted, it’s unlikely that CIA missiles will begin raining down on Berkeley or other liberal burgs anytime soon. Killing Muslims, even those with U.S. citizenship, is one thing; offing “ordinary” Americans is another. As has been the case with previous Bushie infringements on fundamental civil rights--electronic eavesdropping, jailing people without trial or a visit by a lawyer--most citizens believe themselves safe simply by virtue of their not being terrorists.

They may be right. They might be wrong.

It’s all in the hands of the executioner-in-chief now.

(Ted Rall is editor of “Attitude: The New Subversive Political Cartoonists,” an anthology of cartoons, ephemera and interviews with 21 of America’s best editorial cartoonists. Ordering and review-copy information are available at nbmpub.com.)

LOCALNEWS

I ❤ Lahaina The 3rd annual I Love Lahaina community event, held in November at Lahaina Cannery Mall, brought in a record $36,074.55 this year, announced Lynn Okamoto, General Manager of the Mall. The money raised through sales of specially designed I Love Lahaina t-shirts, live and silent auction items and community/school game booths, surpassed last year’s effort and assures its participating West Maui schools will receive needed funds for important programs that can only exist with outside community support.

Sacred Hearts School, King Kamehameha III School, Princess Nahienaena Elementary School, Lahaina Intermediate School and Lahainaluna High School will receive financial support because of the remarkable cooperation between community and school groups, media partners, entertainers, event planners and Lahaina Cannery Mall and its merchants.

Added Okamoto, “We also commend the outstanding support from our corporate sponsors. Perhaps of even more significance is working with the schools and the student groups, and seeing the talent in these young adults. They are what this event is all about.”

According to Bonnie Wojdyla, principal at Sacred Hearts School, the funds from I Love Lahaina will be used to purchase software materials and fund reading, math, science and classroom management programs. The funds also will assist with major field trips for student programs to neighbor islands and the U.S. Mainland.

At King Kamehameha III School, PTA President Barb Newton hails the event for its two-fold benefit. Newton said the funds also will be used for the National PTA Art Recognition Program, Arts Education in the Classroom program, reward and recognition

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programs for all students, and school field trips.

Lahaina Intermediate School will use the money for their Renaissance Program, student government, band and other programs needing assistance, according to Principal Marsha Nakamura.

Lahainaluna High School intends to use the funds for the promotion and expenses associated with their Future Farmer’s of America Club and the Environmental Association of Space Technology (EAST). The Lahainaluna High School Band also will see some new instruments next year. Parent Community Networking Center (PCNC) Coordinator Marlene Debnam acknowledges the role I Love Lahaina has for the school clubs. “It is a great opportunity for our clubs to raise funds that are more than tripled by the mall,” she said.

Lorene Casicas, PCNC Coordinator at Princess Nahienaena Elementary, said the school will use the funds to upgrade outdoor playground equipment and purchase park benches in the playground. “The event continues to provide our West Maui schools with needed additional funds to enhance our educational efforts,” she added. “Because of I Love Lahaina , we’ll be able to provide Princess students with a nice recreational area for student growth.”

This year’s major co-sponsors were First Hawaiian Bank, Aloha Airlines, American Savings Bank, Pacific Radio Group, Lahaina News, The Maui News, This Week Magazine, EA Sports Maui Invitational Basketball Tournament, Ogilvy & Mather Hawaii, Westside Copy and Graphics, and Lahaina Cannery Mall management and merchants.

Lahaina Cannery Mall is Maui’s only fullyenclosed, air-conditioned shopping complex.

Open daily from 9:30am – 9pm, Lahaina Cannery Mall has over 50 shops and restaurants and is located on the north end of Lahaina Town fronting Honoapiilani Highway and Front Street. Organizations and persons who wish to participate in next year’s I Love Lahaina program can call 661-5304.

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DECEMBER 12, 2002

COVER STORY

By Christy Miles

GALLAGHER

is he still funny?

When I first was informed that I was going to be interviewing Gallagher over the telephone, I was a bit nervous and excited. Then, I calmed down and realized that Gallagher is a celebrity that my parents liked in the '80's. In the '80's, I was playing with cabbage patch dolls and wearing hyper-color shirts. I didn't know who Gallagher was until they talked about him.

My parents got a kick out of the fact that he smashed watermelons at the end of his shows and that he was balding on top and had shoulder-length curly hair. He always wore a black beret. Other than that, I didn't have a damn clue what Gallagher was about.

The morning of the interview, I watched a tape of his from 1983 called The Maddest.

Gallagher rolled out on the stage on roller skates (the '80's called and they want their skates back) and I expected him to start smashing watermelons. Instead, he went into a lengthy comedic act that, I must say, was funny.

He asked questions like, "How come SevenElevens have locks on the doors when they’re open twenty-four hours?” or “Why does net zero cost anything at all?" He says that net zero shouldn’t cost anything at all, but it costs ten dollars. That shit is funny. After watching

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the tape, I felt prepared to interview Gallagher on the telephone.

“Nothing means anything anymore,” he said after rambling on and on about SUV’s, the way kids dress, and how women try to dress like men.

Gallagher’s show is coming to Maui for the first time on Friday Dec. 14 at the Maui Cultural Center. His show will include mindless questions, audience participation, and of course, the sledge-o-matic.

If you are not familiar with the sledge-omatic, let me refresh your dull memory. At the end of Gallagher’s hysterical show, he presents the audience with several food products, which he will then smash with a huge sledgehammer. Cake, eggs, cheeseburgers, and the infamous watermelon will be splattered on the audience in the first few rows.

“I first got the idea of the sledge-o-matic from watching a veg-o-matic commercial,” Gallagher said.

The commercial turned simple veggies into silly little shapes. Gallagher thought, why turn them into shapes when you are going to eat them? His mind started to turn and he figured out that sledge rhymed with veg. Thinking to make a few hundred dollars, he submitted his idea of the sledge-o-matic to George Carlin.

Carlin didn’t respond and Gallagher has since used the routine for more than 20 years.

Gallagher’s path wasn’t entirely paved for the life of a comedian. He graduated college from the University of South Florida with an engineering degree. While in college, Gallagher performed his first comedic act without realizing it. He brought in a bunch of pigs on campus to protest the food in the cafeteria. The campus police came down and Gallagher had to talk to the Dean of the college.

“My idea was to feed the awful food to the pigs,” Gallagher said. “I guess I was being crazy then and just having fun.”

After he graduated college, he wanted to travel. Gallagher wanted to be on the move and he enjoyed it. He also enjoyed the fact that he was always going to leave someplace. He enjoyed seeing what people were up to. In 1976, he went on tour as road manager for Jim Stafford. When the show went to California in 1979, Gallagher chose to perform instead of staying out of the limelight.

His material from the shows stem from the world and not from his personal life. Gallagher says he identifies with the people in his audience. He tries to find out what’s happening with them and then connects with them. Thus,

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his material is what everyone thinks about, but never actually questions.

Here's what I found to be bizarre about his material. During the interview, he ranted and raved about how kids these days are wearing their pants too low. “Butts are hanging out,” he said. When he was talking, I got a flashback of my 56-year-old mother saying the same shit to me when I was living at home. Was I talking to a man who is stuck in a mind frame that can’t or won't conform to what is going on with today's kids? Sometimes, I wear my pants so low that my g-string hangs out at times. Does that make me part of another skit in his act?

“During my show, I try to be the most fun they’ve ever had in their life,” Gallagher says of his audience. “I want them to say that this is the most fun that they’ve ever had.”

Live shows are what Gallagher loves. He loves to hear the roar of 1,000 people laughing. According to Gallagher, laughing is contagious. He says that when you hear someone laugh, it then in return makes you laugh.

During his comedic act, he keeps control of the audience while they are laughing. He waits for the wave of laughter to end and he will then begin a new joke. It’s a way of keeping a rhythm at his shows and he claims that he is the best at it. He also claims that he is better at it than Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, and David Letterman because they haven’t practiced it as much as he has.

While working at a little club with Letterman, Letterman told Gallagher that he didn’t need to be that funny because he was going to have his own talk show. He also said Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny at all because he would either laugh or smile before he said his line. Let me think back. Didn't Seinfeld get paid about one million dollars for each episode of his show towards the end?

Obviously he was funny to several viewers.

Gallagher also said, Leno used to say props are the enemy of wit. Gallagher uses several props in his show and now Leno does too, on The Tonight Show.

“When you do a show, you talk and talk,” Gallagher said. “People get bored of that and you grab their attention back again when you use props.”

He wants to grab the audience by the diaphragm and shake them. By doing so, he is going to make them tired from all of the laughing that they are going to do. Gallagher says laughter is so wonderful that it is therapeutic.

His comedic tapes are used at the Loma Linda Hospital in Los Angeles in cancer research.

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Laughter causes endorphins to be released throughout the body and the endorphins help the body heal. The researchers at the hospital use his tapes as experiments. Gallagher said that people can fight cancer better when they have laughter in their lives.

While Gallagher's tapes are helping cancer patients, his material is based on ridiculing people and how they look. He said people dress like bikers when they are not even bikers. Some wear bib overalls when they are not farmers. They dye their hair some absurd color or get an absurd tattoo. Gallagher says that America is without a clue. People are trying to be individuals and different when they are acting and dressing like everyone else.

Gallagher says that nobody is questioning all of this absurdity except him. Well, I have a tattoo, a piercing, I wear overalls (but my dad is a farmer), and I have dyed my hair an absurd color. I am not ‘without a clue.’ I like my tattoo, and my piercing is a sign of something exciting that happened in my life. With each moment of the conversation, I felt like I was at his show. He was doing an act while he was on the phone with me. Weird, I thought.

Weird, because he sounded like my parents and he couldn't really talk normal without going into an act.

Gallagher will pose these questions to the audience during his show on Maui. He will also discuss SUV’s, dressing, current events on Maui, and sports. Get ready to participate because he will let people hula with a hulahoop and if you can’t do it, he will make fun of you in front of everyone! He will also pick people out of the audience, ask to use their cell phone, and harass people in their phone book by calling them while on stage! Before and after the show, Gallagher will be available to sign autographs and take photos. He says he does a perfect job of being celebrity.

“I am going to be the best time they’ve ever had in their lives,” Gallagher guarantees.

We'll see about that.

Get off of your lazy ass for once and pay the man the money. Go see Gallagher and decide for yourself if he is an old fart who isn't trying to grab people's attention other than the old folks. You might also want to bring a garbage bag so that you don’t get food on you from the sledge-o-matic.

Gallagher will be performing 7:30pm Friday, December 13th at the A&B Amphitheater. Tickets are $20, $25, $35, with a limited number of $35 table seating. Visit the MACC box office or call 242-SHOW.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

9

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD

2003 UNLIMITED

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We don't have any but...

we DO have 802.11b wireless and now SPRINT PCS data wireless.

(Doesn't inspire me but I'll bet some of you big shots will think surfing the net from the beach is really cool.)

INTERNET CAFE in Wailuku 242-1896 On Market and Main

INTERNET STOP in Kihei 891-9219 S. Kihei Rd (Below Denny's)

LEAD STORIES British Army officers examining highly motivated potential recruits in the Commonwealth's Pacific island of Fiji reported in November encountering an alarming number of the men with marbles sewn under the skin of their penises, apparently to heighten pleasure during sex. According to an Agence FrancePresse report, Capt. Sarah East said that the marbles were not an automatic disqualifier.

Several news outlets in Johannesburg, South Africa, reported in November that, in front of several witnesses, a 20-footlong African rock python swallowed a 10year-old boy in the brush near Lamontville (which is near Durban). Some experts, including snake park owner Craig Smith, said the evidence and the witnesses' accounts were credible, especially since the snake had probably recently awakened from hibernation and was famished.

According to the boy's terrified playmates, it took about three hours for him to completely disappear.

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Police in Fulton, Ky., investigating a marijuana-smoking complaint by William Hainline's neighbors in September, found dope burning on a backyard grill with a large fan on the other side of the house sucking the smoke through the home (in effect, said Police Chief Terry Powell, "turn(ing) the house into a large marijuana bong"). Hainline said he was merely having a 52nd birthday party, but police seized four pounds of marijuana.

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10

DECEMBER 12, 2002

NEWS

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES In October, the Catholic Diocese of St. Petersburg, Fla., became the latest to debut a version of the church's 22-yearold "Theology on Tap" series, introducing young adults to the church by holding lecture and discussion sessions about contemporary issues, mostly sexuality, in local bars, with parishioners and potentials free to eat, drink and smoke. (In November, the Diocese of Toledo, Ohio, began the second year of its program.)

The Lord as Micromanager: (1) "It isn't easy, but God said to (beat them)," testified former nun Lucille Poulin, before being convicted in October of assault in the harsh disciplining of children at her commune (Charlottetown, P.E.I., Canada). (2) "(G)od became my art agent.

He basically gave me ideas," said Thomas Kinkade, the pop artist who has sold $450 million worth of machine-produced paintings in 13 years, to the chagrin of art purists (Morgan Hill, Calif., March). (3) "God brought me down here," said Angel DeGroff, auditioning in November to be one of the competitors in the next round of the TV show "The Bachelor" (Hales Corners, Wis.).

CREME DE LA WEIRD In October in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, Mr. Rosaire Roy was sentenced to a year in jail for hiring someone to rob his store so Roy could fulfill a sexual fantasy; he had arranged for the robber to force him to undress, along with an unsuspecting female acquaintance who was in the store at the time, because Roy wanted to be tied up naked with her. And in November, sheriff's deputies in Fayette County, Ga., acting on a tip, arrested Sandy Creek High School teacher Damian Belvedere, 44, who (using his webcam) was in the middle of a live Internet performance of fondling himself, nude, in his otherwise empty classroom.

RECURRING THEMES News of the Weird has reported several times on men either killed or injured falling down embankments at night after stopping their vehicles on the side of the road to seek a secluded place to urinate. In September, Rick Schultz, 34, and James Esposti, 21, were taken to Punxsutawney (Pa.) Hospital after being knocked down when their Ford Ranger truck coasted backward into them while they were urinating at the side of a road.

A 1999 New England Journal of Medicine article warned that even putting a dead rattlesnake's head in your mouth can be fatal, and News of the Weird has run stories of men cuddling their pet rattlesnakes, particularly in conjunction with alcohol use. In November, Matthew George, 21, of Yacolt, Wash., was hospitalized in serious condition after the rattlesnake he was kissing bit him on the lip. Apparently, George was proudly showing to a friend the snake that he had found in the Arizona desert in October. Snake expert Richard Ritchey, asked by a reporter for The Oregonian whose fault the incident was (George's or the snake's), answered, "The one with the bigger brain," but he did not say which one he thought that was.

ALSO, IN THE LAST MONTH ...

A leading British plastic surgeon said that human face transplants will be possible within a year (although the recipient would not necessarily look like the donor). And a woman named Kristina, 21, won the beauty pageant (talent, swimsuit, gown) at a woman's prison in Panevezys, Lithuania, but declined to reveal to reporters why she's in the slammer. A community redevelopment agency announced it was evicting 40 Hispanic migrant workers the week after Christmas, with no relocation assistance, so that Habitat for Humanity could build lowincome housing on the site (Palmetto, Fla.).

An inmate returning to jail from his day job at a recycling center tested higher than 0.20 blood-alcohol, gained by mustering last drops from all the empty liquor bottles he sorted (Charleston, W.Va.).

Enter to Win a 7’-10” Funboard From X-It Surfboards and a Da Kine Board Bag!

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

11

SURF&SPORTS

BY SARA ARTMAN

Hi Tech Surf Bash XIII The Hi Tech Surf Bash XIII took place on December 7th, at Flemings Beach, to make it the 13th anniversary for this contest. The conditions were cold! Sitting on the beach as a spectator required an extra shirt or two. The howling winds created choppy conditions and combined with the meager picking of waves; it wasn’t the most accommodating conditions for a contest. It was impressive to see the talent demonstrated by the contestants throughout the contest, being that the waves were less than ideal.

The wave that the contestants were judged on was a right and left peak. Most

Board, Open Body Board, Women Long Board, Men Long Board, and Junior Women.

Luke Walsh, who won the Junior Men division and placed 4th in the Open Men, said this about the contest, “It was fun, but the waves were bad, enough to have some solid turns though.” Gradually the sets were getting bigger as the contest progressed. The day was messy with the wind consistently blowing on-shore, the barrier of clouds keeping any sun from penetrating through, with the occasional down pour. During some of the heats in the beginning of the contest, there was a serious lack of waves. This made it really hard to show off burgeoning talent, let alone even catch a wave.

Shortboard

3. Paige Alms, Haiku 4. Elise Garrigue, Haiku 5. Lilia Boerner, Hana 6. Joni DeMello, Kahului

Final Results: Menehune (12 & under)

Open Men

1. Granger Larsen, Lahaina 2. Albee Layer, Haiku 3. Hans Vandervoort, Paia 4. Dege O’Connell, Hana 5. Nick Falbo, Lahaina 6. Makana Eleogram, Hana

1. Yuri Soledad, Haiku 2. Hank Gaskell, Hana 3. Ola Eleogram, Hana 4. Luke Walsh, Paia 5. John Correll, Haiku 6. Nick King, Paia

1-A Non-sponsored (14 & under)

Bodyboard

1. Will Hunt, Paia 2. Brandon Ness, Haiku 3. Bailey Ball, Lahaina 4. Scott Baker, Kula 5. Makana Eleogram, Hana 6. Shawn Walsh, Paia

Juniors (17 & under0 1. Jacob Romero, Wailuku 2. Jonah Romero, Wailuku 3. Kyle Hayashi, Wailuku 4. Jonathan Cacal, Lahaina 5. Mathew Pasamonte, Lahaina 6. Shea Savilla, Wailuku

Boys (13-14)

PHOTO: RICK LARSEN

1. Clay Marzo, Lahaina 2. Kai Barger, Haiku 3. Brandon Ness, Haiku 4. Matty Schweitzer, Lahaina 5. Chaz Chidester, Sunset Beach, Oahu 6. Alex King, Paia

Junior Girls (17 & under) 1. Paige Alms, Haiku 2. Rosalie Nolin, Paia 3. Lilia Boerner, Hana 4. Kelsey Miller, Haiku 5. Moana Wietecha, Haiku 6. Anna Fry, Haiku

Open 1. Etan Krupnick, Lahaina 2. Jacob Romero, Wailuku 3. Jefferey Cacal, Lahaina 4. Travis Calvan, Wailuku 5. Jonah Romero, Wailuku 6. Tevita Vaitahi, Lahaina

Longboard Juniors (17 & under) 1. Aka Pai, Makawao 2. Corey Mackey, Kula 3. Johnny Pitzer, Lahaina 4. Paige Alms, Haiku 5. Will Hunt, Paia 6. D.K. Walsh, Paia

Junior Men (15-17) 1. Luke Walsh, Paia 2. Ola Eleogram, Hana 3. Hank Gaskell, Hana 4. Zach Horneman, Paia 5. Aka Pai, Makawao 6. Corey Mackey, Kula

Open 1. David Chappell, Wailuku 2. Justin Miyahira, Kihei 3. Keoki Pfaltzer, Wailuku 4. Eli Klukowski, Makawao 5. J.B. Falbo, Lahaina 6. Aka Pai, Makawao

Open Women 1. Melissa Proud, Paia 2. Rosalie Nolin, Paia

Granger Larsen wins the Menehune division

TIDES&TIMES of the contestants were going for the right; it seemed to hold up a little better. It had originally been scheduled for November 30th at Ho’okipa, however due to large surf conditions it was cancelled. In the past 11 years the contest has been held at Ho’okipa, the first year of the contest Ho’okipa was too large so it was at Kahului harbor. Despite the cold atmosphere, there were plenty of people hanging out all day and eating ono bananas with Jack Johnson songs adding to the scene.

There were many people in and out of the water all day, practicing different tricks and maneuvers in the shore break to the left of the designated contest site.

There were many divisions in this contest to participate in, making this a contest for everyone to enjoy. They are: Open Men, Open Women, Menehune Boys, NonSponsored Boys, Junior Men, Junior Body

12

DECEMBER 12, 2002

SURF

A true testament to talent and the desire to win was evident in the efforts that some of these contestants put forth by milking the wave all the way to the shore to gain some speed and pull an air trick, of sorts.

Nobody left empty handed from this contest. The winners from 1st to 6th place won medallions and the rest of the participants received some prizes from the generous sponsors. The grand prize for the contest was a custom-made Gerry Lopez shortboard, which Daniel Haas of Lahaina won. The top five qualifiers in the Open Women’s event, Melissa Proud, Rosalie Nolin, Paige Alms, Elise Garrigue and Lilia Boerner, qualified to participate in the Billabong Pro that took place on December 8th. Being able to participate in the Billabong Pro and surf with a limited amount of people at the cave was a great prize for all of these women.

Tide times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului -1hr 41min. Hana -1hr 23min.

Makena -0hr 32min. Kihei/Ma`alaea -0hr 22min. Lahaina -0hr 40min.

12 Sun R 6:59A Thur Set 5:51P

H12:12A +1.1 H10:37A +1.4 L 4:43A +0.8 L 5:50P +0.1

13 Fri

Sun R 7:00A Set 5:51P

H 12:51A +1.4 H 11:26A +1.3 L 6:17A +0.8 L 6:16P +0.1

14 Sat

Sun R 7:01A Set 5:52P

H 1:25A +1.6 L 7:31A +0.7

H 12:12P +1.1 L 6:40P +0.1

15 Sun

Sun R 7:01A Set 5:52P

H 1:56A +1.8 L 8:31A +0.6

H 12:55P +1.0 L 7:05P 0.0

16 Sun R 7:02A Mon Set 5:53P

H 2:28A +2.0 H 1:36P +0.9 L 9:20A +0.5 L 7:32P 0.0

17 Tue

H 3:00A +2.1 H 2:16P +0.8 L 10:05A +0.5 L 8:01P -0.1

Sun R 7:02A Set 5:53P

18 Sun R 7:03A Wed Set 5:53P

H 3:33A +2.2 H 2:56P +0.7 L 10:47A +0.4 L 8:32P -0.1

SURFREPORTS WEBSITES hawaiiweathertoday.com www.surfline.com buoyweather.com

PHONE National Weather Service 877-3477 Hana Highway Surf 871-6258 (NALU) Hi-Tech Surf Sports 877-3611

SURF&SPORTS

BY CHRIS STANKIS

Mana O Ka Moana Ocean Race

Overall Results: 1. Team Centipede

PHOTO: KERRY K. BARKER

Jessica Floyd and Steve Williams (3rd place overall, 1st place mixed team)

LETTERS

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COVER STORY

SURF

Young Beach headed south. They swim the full length of Kamaole Beach Park I, before turning around for the return leg. The first swimmer out of the water is Seabury Hall swim coach Malcolm Cooper, who grabs his surfboard to begin the paddle leg. When he finishes, he will then hand off to his teammate, Michele Pearce, who will complete the canoe and run legs.

The board paddle takes the racers north towards a buoy off Kalama Park, before heading south to a buoy between Kamaole I and Kamaole II, before looping back to the transition area when they began. Cooper holds the lead through the paddle, but the field has narrowed his lead. With still half the race to go, there are still plenty of chances for the lead to change hands.

Kayakers and canoe paddlers power out through the break to begin their leg. Among

(Mael Carey & Rick Nu’u) – 1:17:43

2. Kihei Lifeguards (Jeff Meadows & Matt Mercado) – 1:21:47

3. Mega Mana (Steve Williams & Jessica Floyd) – 1:22:26

Individual Division Results Overall Male 1. Chris Mithen – 1:26:54 2. George Dagan – 1:27:53 3. Bram Denhaan – 1:37:21

Male 20-29 1. John Bendon – 1:43:48 2. Orion Barels – 1:50:21

Male 40-49 1. Lloyd Norquist – 1:42:32 2. Bradley Grissom – 1:44:07

Male Open 1. Chris Stankis – 1:32:20 2. Frank Hackett – 1:34:36 3. Mark Pokini – 2:00:40

Overall Female 1. Sharon Balidoy – 1:36:42 2. Sarah van de Vanter – 1:36:58 3. Nancy Robberson – 1:39:14

Female 30-39 1. Maile Arensdorf – 1:49:00

Team Division Results Male

PHOTO: KERRY K. BARKER

“This might not be good…..I don’t know about this,” says Maui Multi Sports Club President Bram Dehaan, as he surveys the big shore break crashing on Kihei’s Charlie Young Beach in the pre-dawn darkness. In just a few hours the Mana O Ka Moana ocean race is due to start.

The race, in its second year, has seen the field grow to over sixty competitors, some racing as individuals, others as part of two person relay teams. A one mile ocean swim kicks off the event, followed by a two mile surfboard paddle, then a three mile kayak/canoe paddle and closes with a one mile beach run. The relay teams will have each athlete cover two legs of the race, while individual racers will race the entire course solo. The unique combination of events and relay brings together a variety of ocean sport athletes. “You see people at this race that you don’t see at our other races” says Dehaan, who serves as race director for the triathlons that the club puts on, like the King’s Trail, in addition to this race. “We get a lot of new people out, because it is so different.”

Unexpected high surf has taken up valuable beach space that would be needed to set up kayaks, one man outrigger canoes and surfboards that would be used in the race. And certainly sending those craft in and out through large shore break would be an added hazard that will keep the Maui County Ocean Safety personnel on their toes during the race. The race volunteers make some last minute changes to the course to compensate for substantial surf off Cove Park, as the beach fills up with surf craft, and racers warm up by body surfing in the breaking waves.

The swim begins in a lull between the sets, and the swimmers leave Charlie

them is last year’s individual winner Chris Mithen, who is defending his title. He paddled a plastic kayak last year, this year he headed out in a sleeker fiberglass racing craft. “This race was my first time on it [the new fiberglass kayak].” says Mithen, “It isn’t as stable as what I paddled last year.” Mithen, from the north shore, would take the individual lead during the three mile paddle from Charlie Young to the Kihei boat ramp and back, to finish among the fastest relay teams.

Two laps of the beach at Kamaole I would make up the run portion of the course. Team Centipede (Mael Carey and Rick Nu’u) would take a commanding lead into the run to finish first in 1:17:43, four minutes ahead of the team of Kihei Lifeguards, Jeff Meadows and Matt Mercado. The rest of the field began pouring in after them, among them Mithen, who would successfully defend his title in 1:26:54, as well as women’s overall individual winner Sharon Balidoy (1:36:42).

A celebration followed the race, with prizes for the winners, and door prizes that let nearly everyone take home something. A special mahalo goes out to all the Maui Multi Sports Club volunteers who kept the races on course, watched out for their safety and helped them get their boats out of the water.

Also to the Maui County Ocean Safety staff that was there to take care of the racers. And of course Mahalo to the sponsors: Maui Magazine, Hammer Gel, Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods, Sportswearmaui.com, South Maui Cycles, Penne Pasta, Pita Paradise and Tri Paddle Maui.

For a complete list of the results from all divisions, or more info about Maui Multi Sports Club and their events, please go to mauimultisports.com.

1. Team Centipede – see above 2. Kihei Lifeguards – see above 3. Ronnie Ayres & Savar Hartman – 1:25:01

Female Teams 1. Angelina Jolie (Linda Jolie & Angelina Palumbo) – 1:44:00 2. Zoe Norcross & Karen Mooiweer – 1:47:53 3. The Dolphin & The Turtle (Rachelle Primeaux & Lisa Thomas) – 1:49:30

Mixed Teams 1. Mega Mana – see above-1:22:26 2. Wailea Canoe Club (Carly Mitchell & Felipe Gomes) – 1:26:52 3. Green M & M’s (Michele Pearce & Malcolm Cooper) – 1:30:56

Kihei Ocean Safety Lifeguard

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14

DECEMBER 12, 2002

DINING

661–9999

BY MAT SEAVEY

Paia Fish Market I’ve probably walked by the Paia Fish Market and peered through its windows a thousand times. It’s like looking into a ship’s galley with long tables and benches arranged in rows, everything done in dark woods and brass. It seems to do good business and I hear their fish sandwiches are to die for. Tonight I’m going to try them out for a nice fish dinner.

We step up into line and check out the menu, which hangs above the counter separating us from the kitchen. There’s the fish burger I’ve heard about, available with Ono or Mahimahi, and reasonably priced at $6.50. It comes with tomato, cheddar and jack cheese, and tartar sauce but I hear it’s the cole slaw that sets it off.

Tempting for sure but I’m in the mood for a nice filet of fish done simply, like a lemony-buttery-capery kind of thing, you know. The menu is livened up by little cartoon caricatures of Ukulele strumming chickens and Hawaiians catching fish, but gets a little confusing and hard to read.

There’s a kind of pressure too, standing in line with people waiting behind you, trying to figure out what to eat. We let a few go by before we settle on the Seafood Pasta and the Fresh Mahimahi sautéed in butter, wine, garlic and lemon. The crispy Calamari Appetizer will start us out.

We order and pay at the counter where our name is taken and we’re given little plastic cups for water. The seating is family style at long wooden tables, all of which seem to be full at the moment. After asking around I find two empty seats with spent dinners still in front of them. It’s obviously a self-bussing situation that the diners before me didn’t realize. Not a problem; I’m just happy to get a seat.

I hear my name being called so up I go to fetch my calamari. They’re twisty breaded strips served with cocktail sauce, tartar, and a wedge of lemon. I can’t tell if they’re made fresh in house or bought pre-packaged, but they’re good and tender with a crispy outside.

Only a few bites in and our entrees are ready. The portions are huge. The Seafood Pasta has lots of fish, scallops, and shrimp sautéed with butter, wine, garlic, cream,

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

Celebrate Happy Hour At THE BLUE LAGOON TROPICAL BAR & GRILL 3PM-9PM DAILY

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Fish Food

Parmesan and onions and topped with tomatoes and capers. That’s how the menu reads, anyway. While there’s plenty of seafood on the plate, nothing stands out with any flavor and the sauce is clumsily done. All I taste is bland, heavy cream.

And it looks as if my fish dinner craving will not be satisfied tonight. Again the portion is large and the fish is definitely not a frozen cut, but not the melt in my mouth buttery experience I was looking for. It came with sautéed onions and mushrooms that were underdone and crunchy and not much sauce. The home fries were non-exceptional, the Cajun Rice bland and reminiscent of Uncle Ben’s. I did get to try the cole slaw, though, which was really fresh and flavorful. I can imagine what it would do to a fish sandwich.

Different food fits different occasions, and this time it just didn’t match my expectations.

For an eighteen dollar fish dinner I want some flavor and some service. A seven-dollar over the counter fish sandwich, on the other hand, sounds just about right, and I’ll be back to try it soon. Paia Fish Market is on the corner of Baldwin Ave. and Hana Hwy and is open daily from 11:00 A.M. to 9:30 P.M.

DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI

SOUTH MAUI

Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave. 877–9001 Aloha Grill - 22 different burgers including veggie styles, plus all the extras. kids meals.

Dairy Road Marketplace. 893–0263 Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner, or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Unit F. 893-0026 Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10am to 10pm, lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main 244-7788 Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday thru Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave. 877-3055 Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch, and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course.

877–7461 Hale Imua Internet Cafe - Espresso bar, deli sandwiches, salads, real fruit smoothies, and iced blended coffees. 1980 Main St. Wailuku.

242-1896.

Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and Local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center. 871–6977 Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine.

Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchiladas and paella. 33 Lono St., Ste 150. 873–0220 Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to ‘take five’. 444 Hana Hwy. 877–CUPS Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas ala carte. Casual dining, pinatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd. 877–8707 Ramon’s - Contemporary Mexican, full sushi bar, awesome desserts. Banquet area available.

2102 Vineyard St. 244–7243 Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous fifties cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center.

248-7829 Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat, & seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard 244-1567 Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret!

Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main 243-9560 Shakalaka Fish ‘N Chips - Mahimahi, Ono, Shrimp & Calamari in a light, crisp batter with homemade tartar sauces. Yum! 2010 Main St. 986-0855 Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave. 877-0121 Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for Breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch & dinner.

Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill 244-0845 Wow-Wee Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, great sandwiches, soups, and an oxygen bar. 333 Dairy Rd. 871-1414 <www.mauiwowwee.com>

BadaBing! - Homey Italian haven, award-winning thin crust pizzas, veal, calamari or chicken picatta. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 875–0811 Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, pupus served until 1am. Live entertainment and dancing 10pm ‘til 1am. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., #314. 874-9299 Capiche? - Contemporary Italian with a twist; extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Diamond Resort. 879–2224 Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies & salads. 1881 S. Kihei, #112. 879-4799 DeanO’s Maui Pizza Cafe - Top quality pizza with traditional toppings, full menu with salads, pasta and sandwiches. 2439 S. Kihei Rd. 891–2200 Dick’s Place - Incredible all-you-can-eat food specials, free pool playing with purchase. 8 pool tables.

2463 S. Kihei Rd. 874–8869 El Restaurante Pasatiempo - Authentic homestyle Mexican food, with a wide range of dishes and meats to choose from. Azeka’s Plaza II. 879–1089 Five Palms Beach Grill - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim cuisine. 2960 S. Kihei Rd. 879–2607 Greek Bistro - Moderately priced Greek and Continental Cuisine. Open for dinner 5-10pm. Kai Nani Village, 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 879-9330 Harlow’s Restaurant - Enjoy fine dining among the cozy and chic furniture and great sunset views. 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 879–1954 Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “Food for Gringos”, too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5pm to 2am Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St. 891-MEXI Jabba’s Place - Family restaurant featuring homestyle cooking at a great price. Specials nightly. Azeka’s Plaza I. 891–0989 Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is ala carte, special late night menu. 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 875–1007 La Creperie - French cuisine in a stylish and comfortable atmosphere. Serving escargot, ratatouille, and many other dishes. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–0822 Life’s a Beach - Food & drinks in a fun atmosphere.

Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib, and grilled mahimahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–8010 Lobster Cove - Varied menu of seafood including fresh island fish. 100 Ike Dr. 879–7677 Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr. 891–8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center.

Ma`alaea Harbor Village Shops. 243–2206 Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting, compliments the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd. 874–4041 Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast is served till 3PM. 100 Kaukahi St. Wailea 874–1131 Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Kea Lani Hotel. 879–7224 Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean

MIND BODY

UPCOUNTRY Cafe Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet & savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42

Announcing an exciting new addition to the Maui Time Weekly classifieds, Mind, Body & Spirit. This section is a comprehensive healthy living guide for the over 27,500 loyal readers who are seeking tangible improvements to thier lives.

Maui residents are concerned with quality of life issues and Maui Time Weekly is offering a weekly resource for informing and providing opportunities to address those issues.

SPIRIT • BEAUTY • HEALTH • FITNESS

Mediterranean-style “gyro”, salads or wraps, Kihei Kalama Village Center. 875–7679 Roy’s Kihei Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian Fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere.

Open nightly from 5:30 to 10pm, Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave. 891-1120 Sansei Restaurant - Japanese based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award winning cuisine, early bird and late night specials. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879–0004 Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Road. 875–7555 Sausage Shack - Homemade sausage in meats or veggie style on fresh baked buns, with every condiment you could desire. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 874–6444 South Shore Grinds - Delicious and healthy plate lunches, burgers, dinners, desserts and more. 362 Huku Li`i Place #101. 875–8472 Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1215 S. Kihei Rd. 874-3779 Taj Mahalo’s - The only Indian restaurant on Maui, homemade curries and naan, chicken tandoori, wraps, lots of vegetarian delights. Lipoa Center. 874–1911

I want to wish all customers a very warm Christmas and a Happy New Year.

“Wishing for the world to speak a friendly language.”

It’s been a challenging 2 years of frustration and hard work, however what came out of it was a great experience that gives me the vision to do more.

• SPIRITUALITY • MEDICAL • MASSAGE

• LIVING • DENTAL • BODY

• SUPPORT • CHIROPRACTIC • HOLISTIC

Thanks Jacques We’ll be closed December 25th and open for New Year’s 2003.

NO

R E S E RVAT I O N S

1 2 0 H a n a H w y. , P a i a , H I 9 6 7 7 9 Te l . 8 0 8 5 7 9 8 8 4 4

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION

CALL: 808-661-3786 LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

Baldwin Ave. 579-6323 Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches & specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia.

579-8770 Casanova’s - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao. 572–0220 Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–9453.

Cow Country Cafe - Homestyle breakfast and lunch in a decidedly bovine atmosphere. 7 Aewa Pl., Pukalani. 572-2395 Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s awardwinning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, Hali`imaile.

572–2666 Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-2661 Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef, and chicken tacos. Daily, from 11am-4pm.

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia. 579–8844 Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teri beef, hamburger steak, tofu and hekka all available.

3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572–7241

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

15

DININGLISTINGS Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun & more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd. 575-9363 Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 5728711 Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau. 579–8448 Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food Authentic, fresh & tasty mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave/Pukalani Square 573-2998 Milagros Food Co. - South American cusine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! 3 Baldwin St. 579–8755 Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia. 579–9999 Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia. 579–8030 Picnics Restaurant - Home of the famous Spinach Nut Burger. Breakfast & Lunch. 30 Baldwin Ave. 579-8021 Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas & more! 1202 Makawao Ave. 572-7808

WEST MAUI Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebabs, falafels and more! Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-4300 A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from

2 fOr 1!

Maui’s Cafe 333 Dairy Rd

•

By the Airport

871-1414 Any Breakfast, Lunch or…

Maui’s Only Oxygen Bar Buy One, Get One Free

Buy 1 Entrée, Get the 2nd Entrée 1/2 OFF!

(Second item of equal or lesser value HALF PRICE, with this coupon - expires 12/25/02)

Open for Lunch Daily 11am–3pm Dinner Served 4–10pm Nightly

Pizza • Pasta • Salad • $10 Wine List

American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines.

Bakery with cakes & cookies. Lahaina Center.

667–0623 Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific Cuisine with a Hawaiian Twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views.

Ritz Carlton Kapalua. 669–6200 BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. 730 Front St. 661-0700.

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center. 661–8141 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with Forrest Gump movie memorabilia and logo wear.

889 Front St. 661–3111 Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner.

Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St. 661–9491 Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St. 661–7600 Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving a combination of island-inspired contemporary and traditional cuisine.1450 Front St. 661–0937 David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine dining in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn building. 127 Lahainaluna. 667–5517 Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11am to 12am daily.

505 Front Street, 661-8112.

Gerard’s - Fine French dining in Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna. 661–8939 Fleming’s On the Green - Fine dining, on the golf course. Delicate raviolis, to the Filet Mignon, wonderful sauces. 2000 Village Rd., Kapalua 665–1000.

Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. Love AllServe All. 900 Front St. 667–7400 Honokowai Okazuya & Deli - Gourmet plate lunches, sandwiches and pastas prepared as you order. Take out available. 3600-D Lower Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 665–0512 House of Saimin - Ono homemade Saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here.Old Lahaina Center. 667–7572 Hula Grill - Barefoot Bar and beachside dining in a 1940’s style. Menu is a seafood lover’s delight.

Whaler’s Village. 667–6636 i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St. 661–8422 Java Jazz - Coffee bar and restaurant with great food, ecclectic atmosphere, loungey ambience.

Open for breakfast, lunch & dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787 Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low price! Soups, brown rice, veggies & kabobs, will deliver. Lahaina Marketplace. 661–9999 Karma Kafe - Coffee drinks, specialty smoothies, tea drinks and fabulous vegetarian food. Zen garden and internet access. Anchor Square. 662–1258 Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. 845 Front St. 661–4811 Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro”, Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St. 661–7082 Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s Signature Pacific Rim Specialties prepared with fresh island fish, and seafood, dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St. 661–3472

Lemongrass - Serving ala carte to the seven course traditional Vietnamese dinner. Reasonably priced and full of flavor. 930 Waine`e St. 667–6888 Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St. 667–2288 Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, cole slaw, and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza. 665–6262 Maui Brews - Daily specials, great appetizers salads and entrees in large portions. Lahaina Center.

667–7794 Maui Mama’s - A quaint shop serving coffees grown throughout the islands. Light food, souvenirs, internet access. 578 Front St. 667–7700 Moose McGillicuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials and merry atmosphere. 844 Front St. 667–7758 Nachos Grande - Fresh mexican food fast.

Vegetarian too. Honokowai Marketplace. 662–0890 Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizers, sandwiches and more.

Maui Marriott. 667–1200 ext. 51 Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. 505 Front St. 667-4341.

Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizers, traditional and specialty Mexican food. Wharf Cinema Center. 661–4666 Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Suite 113. 661–6633 Reilley’s - Known for their choice award winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood overlooking the Ka`anapali Golf Course’s 18th hole. 2290 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 667–7477 Roy’s Nicolina Restaurant - A quiet ambiance suffuses this dining experience, enhanced by the Pacific Rim cuisine. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, upstairs. 669–5000 Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger, and watch sports.

Large parties welcome. Whalers Village. 661–3123 Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive #115., Kapalua. 669–6286 Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallager. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 669–1500 Sir Wilfred’s - Lahaina Cannery Malls gourmet coffee house and cafe. Soups, Salads and Sandwiches grace this simple menu. Lahaina Cannery. 667–1941 Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy.

Tables are private, the Antipasti serves two. The Hyatt Regency. 667–4727 Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch & take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd. 6693539 Swan Court - One of the top ten romantic restaurants in the world, extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency Maui. 667–4727 Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, curry, pad thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center. 667–2814 Tropica - Enjoy the fire and ice-themed restaurant where the cold food and drink bar is tucked between two “volcanoes.” The Westin Maui.

667–2525 Whale’s Tale - All open-air lanai dining. Casual dining, specials, large portions. 672 Front St. 667–4044

Santa Wilfred says,

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875-0188 1945 S. Kihei Rd. at Kalama Village

16

DECEMBER 12, 2002

DINING

WEEK

BY ANTHONY MOORE

Concannon Vineyards ’97 Petite Syrah. Selected Vineyards Livermore, California

Check Out Our Christmas Coffee “A Big Taste of Little Italy”

WINE OF THE

Lahaina Cannery Mall 667-1941 Open Daily 9am to 9pm www.sirwilfreds.com

This week’s wine of the week comes from Concannon Vineyards which lies south of Napa Valley in Livermore, California.

Livermore is located southeast of the San Francisco Bay and is home to some of the more historic wineries in all of California.

Petite Syrah is close to the same grape as Syrah, but just as it sounds, is just a bit more "petite." The flavor provides similar characteristics to the Syrah, such as spice, black pepper and ripe berry qualities. Being a smaller grape, Petite Syrah gives a less-juiceto-skin ratio, creating more tannins, a darker color, and it also provides an environmental character. Where are those eucalyptus groves when you need them? This ’97 Petite Syrah with its aroma of raspberry, and flavors of spice and black pepper, complement the richness of plum in this medium-bodied, complex red wine.

DAY

NIGHT

Naughty or Nice?

A&E pg. 17 Film Critique pg. 18 Movie Times pg. 19 THE GRID 26, 27, 28 Da Kine Calendar 20-25

THIS WEEK’S

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

Kill the Pain Anesthesia is back Do you sometimes get the notion that something might be lacking in your nightlife here on Maui? Ever wish there were more kick-ass live shows playing around town?

Could there be something beyond another heartfelt rendition of “Brown-Eyed Girl?”

Numb the pain of suffering through another night of senseless repetition with a cathartically released dose of ANESTHESIA....

Yes, that’s right kids, Maui’s premier heavy rock gurus Anesthesia is back!

It’s a familiar story, really. Fifteen years ago, young Ian Smith (rhythm guitar/vocals) met up with fellow St. Anthony schoolmate Kai Katchadourian (drums), Russell Carbonell (lead vocals), future lead guitarist Tim Prest (“yeah, he sold me an Ozzy tape when I was 8-years-old and it was broken”), and all decided to form a band, with a revolving door of bassists. They played their fair share of house parties and Kalama Park stints (before the police showed up, of course!), subjecting Maui to one of the first of a consequentially burgeoning hard rock music scene.

No original rock band on Maui today can deny the impact that Anesthesia has had on up and coming heavy rockers, especially in relation to acceptability in what venues they could play at. Bands like Rezin and Swirly were then able to book gigs at bars like World Cafe and Compadres in Lahaina. The Room picked up some slack in-between with a more commercial hard-edged alternative rock, playing at Hard Rock Cafe and other venues, later touring on the mainland.

Even today’s harder bands Khrinj and Zero Tolerance play successful stints at Casanovas, Hard Rock Cafe, and DeanO’s.

At the time that Anesthesia first hit Maui with their hard rock/heavy metal sound, the music scene consisted solely of reggae and cover bands, with the occasional lounge crooner. “Back then, there was no way we would get to play [bars or clubs]. Playing Kalama Park for free – that was all we had,” says Tim. After about three years of playing park gigs and parties, the guys were fortunate

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

enough to meet up with Gordon Patterson (a.k.a. “Gungi”), one of the top three sound guys in the world. Gungi was the Sound Engineer for such hi-fi rockers as Judas Priest, Megadeath and Slayer. During his free time off tour, Gungi helped out the band with their shows and was an instrumental force behind Anesthesia opening up for such big name contenders as Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica, on Oahu. “When we met Gungi in ‘90, that was when we started trying to get a little more serious, and we greatly benefited from his involvement,” explains Kai. As most rock bands do, Anesthesia faded away just at the pinnacle of their creative power. Kai and Tim went on in different directions to further their musical collaborations, and eventually met up again with Ian and new bassist Orion Sawtell to begin the second phase of their transgression.

“We split at a time when we were growing composition-wise, with a lot of material. We realized years later that it was a tragedy to have good stuff just laying there,” Tim elaborates. Circumstances evolved, Tim serendipitously reconnected with Ian, and together they decided to bring forth the creative chemistry that birthed a musical mass of material. Kai agrees, “All of that material that didn’t seem to make sense back then – now, all of a sudden seems to. It’s weird. The timing couldn’t be better.”

The band’s intent becomes clear, as Tim passionately declares, “My main purpose – if I die tomorrow, I would like to have that stuff recorded. And just let things unfold from that!”

Every successful group has members who play vital roles in their growth. The motivating cheerleader is played with great charm by Ian, with Kai directing the band’s business and moral sense/tone. But as the band explains, the musical ringleader behind Anesthesia would be primarily Tim Preston, whose knowledge of music (“He can probably sit down and play every instrument on the track”), and vast influences have led him to this point. “A lot of the material starts with me as some kind of wacky experiment,” says Tim. “I listen to everything, then I’ll take tried and true cliches or forms from certain kinds of music, and experiment with seeing how they go or don’t go together.” From this lofty concept, Tim boils down the sound he’s trying to achieve, puts it all together into a cohesive song, and brings it to the guys. “Even when it sounds arbitrary or spontaneous, it’s deliberate.”

“It’s deliberately spontaneous,” pipes in Kai.

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

The band has one album from their earlier beginnings (“We call it our ‘Metal Tribute’ album”), and they are about to record their second and shop the demo, featuring their evolved brand of “heavier rock.” As for mainland touring prospects? “Oh, it’s certainly on the radar screens,” eludes Kai. At this point, the band says they will play anywhere and are encouraged to see the music scene on Maui pick up as well.

“We want to see people get motivated – get off the couch, come to shows. People create it – a really good scene. That excitement gets back to the mainland, then more bands will come. Isn’t it better to spend money for gas as opposed to spending money for trips to Oahu to see shows?” says Ian. All agree that the motivating factor is “word of mouth”, and the momentum will dictate forward motion into new realms of nighttime entertainment.

The band also realizes that more creative approaches are needed to create an exciting and varied musical climate on Maui. More independently run shows, lower ticket prices, higher quality bands with original music: A lot of this resides on venues, how much they’re willing to take a risk or bend the rules in order to give bands and their audiences a chance to grow, and subsequently the scene on Maui to grow, musically.

Tim agrees, “A lot of bands here on this island are trying to make it happen. We all know people who are in working bands, doing cover songs. But those people would be doing original music if they could make a living at it.

I’d like to see that evolve, too.”

Make your contribution to the collective rockconscious by coming to see Anesthesia live at DeanO’s Maui Pizza Cafe Friday. Show starts at 9:45pm, with a mere $2 cover charge. Bring your ID, it’s a 21 and over thing!

PICKS FRIDAY @ DEANO’S Yes, I am telling you to go see heavy rock Maui icon, Anesthesia. Sure there’s other shit to do tonight, and if you’re reading this column it’s probably because you have short-attention-span syndrome so you won’t read the article that’s on this very same page that will tell you just how mega-rockin’ this band truly is – so let me just sum it up for you: SEE ANESTHESIA 10PM FRIDAY, AT DEANO’S IN KIHEI. Thank you.

SACRED LOVE & PUNK ROCK Oooh, there’s just so much to do today!

How’s this scenario? – Check out the Seminar for Singles & Couples on Sacred Relationships at 9:30am, Maui Meadows, because uh, well, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT?! Don’t they know, nothing is sacred anymore, and sure as hell NOT relationships. Color me bitter, but perhaps an awareness of the capriciousness of life’s goodness is what propagates appreciation and reverence for truth and purity and love, or the temporary stasis thereof. But, by all means, go ahead and prove me wrong by attending this workshop, even if out of mere morbid curiosity.

Okay, so then after a full day of sacralizing, how about a nice Punk-On-The-Rock concert at the Pipeline Cafe in Oahu? Seems like a good balance to me.

BELA-LICIOUS Bela Fleck & The Flecktones, 7:30pm at the MACC. Very cool banjo-playin’, jazz fusion, mellifluous musical mastery with a capital M (for Mmm...good!). Don’t miss it!

Get a dose of Anesthesia this Friday

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

17

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

De Niro Gets Egg On His Face Poor Writing and Lazy Directing Instill Doom ) Analyze That ( "Analyze That" tops this year's list of what-were-they-thinking sequels as an example of a comedy with too few jokes and not a great deal of humor in-between.

"Analyze This" writer/director Harold Ramis returns to helm this flimsily written comedy about prison-incarcerated Mob boss (Paul Vitti - Robert De Niro), who feigns a nervous breakdown by constantly singing songs from "West Side Story" to avoid assassination by fellow inmates, and win his freedom. Vitti is soon placed in the questionable custody of his former psychotherapist Ben Sobel (Billy Crystal "Throw Momma From The Train"), whose job it becomes to guide Vitti into the "straight" life, while rival Mob groups vie for Vitti's loyalty to a life of crime. It's hard to believe that Ramis, the same man who helped write such comic movie classics as "National Lampoon's Animal House" and "Stripes," has lost his knack for comedy, but it's painfully true.

One of the reasons that the '70s are widely considered to be the Golden Decade of American Cinema is due to the comic contributions of directors like Woody Allen, Mel Brooks and John Landis.

Movies like "Bananas," "Blazing Saddles" and "Animal House" seethed with an energy that took no prisoners while pushing anarchic set pieces that threatened to go so far beyond the pale of reason that something other than the audiencesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sides, it seemed, would split before the movie was over. American society and its mores were ridiculed at a hot tempo, as brilliant comedians like John Belushi, Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor led the charge with a humanistic bent that assured the audience they were in capable hands.

In recent years, Hugh Grant, Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler have become

comic institutions in an arena of Hollywood that embraces safety and monotony as leading themes for the success of its comic movies.

The upcoming "About Schmidt," with Jack Nicholson as a recently retired widowed man in search for meaning in his life, is an example of tedium that will drain two hours off of your life with no pretense of being funny. But if "About Schmidt" makes Adam Sandler's recent "Mr. Deeds" look like comic genius by comparison, then "Analyze That" comes off as a glaring embarrassment by also falling short of Sandler's less than mediocre film.

After a stream of missteps into the comedy genre, one would think that Robert De Niro would know better than continue to go beyond his justifiably broad dramatic range. De Niro is not a "funny" actor. He doesn't understand comic delivery, and his estimable talents as a dramatic actor suggest that he shouldn't necessarily even have such perception. "Midnight Run" (1988) was the closest that De Niro has come to pulling off a genuinely amusing bythe-book comedy, and that was due largely to a great script and an innovative director (Martin Breast - "Beverly Hills Cop") with an intuitive sense of comic timing and surprise.

However, watching De Niro sing (and that's being generous) A cappella versions of songs from West Side Story in "Analyze That" is so agonizing and embarrassing as to make you wonder if it isn't the actor himself who's lost his marbles. The shtick could have been funny had De Niro sung every note with falsetto perfection while executing Fred Astaire dance steps, but that would have called for a thoughtful rehearsal schedule and an attention to detail that this movie lacks. Playwright Kenneth Lonergan ("The Waverly Gallery") contributed greatly to the original script for "Analyze This," and his absence from the writing credits on "Analyze That" glare out from every stale scene in the movie. Lonergan, who

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18

DECEMBER 12, 2002

FILM

wrote and directed the film "You Can Count On Me" has a sensational grasp of dialogue and phrasing that is immediately noticeable as missing from the sequel.

Lisa Kudrow doesn't get nearly enough screen time as Ben's disapproving wife Laura, but she does get one of the best laughs when she spitefully gives fashion advice to a visiting female FBI agent busy asking about Ben's contact with Paul Vitti. After the agent's legs have notably distracted Ben from answering questions, Laura stands and says: "As one professional woman to another - two words.Pant Suit!" The moment effects a flash of hilarity for the repression and self-denial in Laura's tone, and rings with clarity of words made plainly funny by context and pitch.

When Ben mixes pills and sake at a dinner to introduce Vitti to the television director of a

"Sopranos" type of TV show regarding a consulting job, his mouth droops to one side and he drools while rambling away like an idiot.

The scene had potential to be one of the funniest episodes in the movie, but it never catches fire because Ramis refuses to push the comedy and discomfort level far enough. You can sense Billy Crystal getting out there with the goofiness of the situation that a domino effect of laughter seems imminent, when Ramis rushes the scene to an extraneous bullet-spraying conclusion. Instead of building suspense through reaction shots of the dinner guests, while pitting Laura and Vitti's disapproval of Ben's table manners to a crescendo of humor, Ramis deflates the scene as if he were afraid of inducing audience laughter. Of course, Richard Prior or John Belushi would have just gone overboard a whole lot faster.

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CAFÉ & CINEMA Wednesday, December 18 4th Annual Firstlight: Academy Screenings on Maui 5:00 p.m., Castle Theater ANTWONE FISHER - In his stunning directorial debut feature, Denzel Washington co-stars with newcomer Derek Luke and Joy Bryant in this story of a sailor who, with the help of his psychiatrist and his first true love, finds the courage to heal the emotional scars of an explosive childhood. Rated PG-13. 117 min. (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

7:30 p.m., Castle Theater GANGS OF NEW YORK - Finally getting to make the story that's intrigued him for decades, Martin Scorsese (Raging Bull) directs Leonardo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Daniel Day-Lewis, John C. Reilly and Jim Broadbent in this epic set in mid-19th century New York where two rival gangs fight for control of Five Points, the city's most dangerous neighborhood at the time. Rated R. 177 min. (Miramax Films) Tickets: $7 w/MFF passport. $10 single.

New This Week STAR TREK: NEMESIS - (PG13) - Sci-Fi Action/Adventure - Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) and the Enterprise crew find themselves on a diplomatic mission to initiate peace with the Romulans. But upon arrival on the alien planet, the crew is faced with a threat that could lead to Earth's destruction, and Picard meets his most dangerous adversary yet, a surprisingly personal nemesis.

2 WEEKS NOTICE - (PG13) - Romantic Comedy - Lucy Kelson (Sandra Bullock) is a neurotic lawyer who cares for the everyday tasks of her fabulously wealthy and charming client George Wade (Hugh Grant), who treats her like a servant and can't seem to function without her daily help. When she gets fed up after five frustrating years, she decides to give him her two weeks notice and quit.

Now Showing ANALYZE THAT - (R) - Comedy - In this sequel to Analyze This (1999), Dr. Sobol (Billy Crystal) deals with his father's death while at the same time trying to help his client Paul Vitti (Robert De Niro), whose life is being threatened.

DIE ANOTHER DAY - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - British special agent James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) teams up with an American spy codenamed Jinx (Halle Berry) to take on a North Korean leader (Yune), who uses an experimental "facial mutation" device that allows him to take on new appearances.

The opening of the film (filmed on Maui last January!) involves James Bond as an escaping pris-

oner of war, involving big wave surfing and water skiing.

See review.

8 CRAZY NIGHTS - (PG13) - Animation - Davey Stone (voice of Adam Sandler), a 33-year old party animal, finds himself in trouble with the law after his wild ways go too far. In keeping with the holiday spirit, the judge gives Davey one last chance at redemption -- spend the holiday performing community service as the assistant referee for the youth basketball league or go to jail.

8 MILE - (R) - Drama - The people of Detroit know 8 Mile as the city limit, a border, a boundary. It is also a psychological dividing line that separates Jimmy Smith Jr. (Eminem) from where and who he wants to be. 8 Mile is a provocative fictional examination of a critical week in Jimmy's life, starring multi-platinum recording artist Eminem in his first leading role in a feature film, along with Kim Basinger (L.A. Confidential) as Jimmy's mother, Mekhi Phifer (0, Shaft), Brittany Murphy (Don't Say A Word) and Eugene Byrd (Dead Man).

THE EMPEROR’S CLUB - (PG13) - Comedy - Kevin Kline stars as Arthur Hundert, a dedicated and inspiring Classics professor who has devoted his life to teaching at an elite boys' prep school. When a new student, Sedgewick Bell, the headstrong son of a powerful senator, joins his class, Mr. Hundert's life is inexorably altered. It is a clash of wills and personalities as these two people seemingly battle for the hearts and souls of the other students at St. Benedictus.

EMPIRE - (R) - John Leguizamo stars as Victor Rosa, a charismatic young Latino gangster who holds money above everything and fancies himself a self-made entrepreneur a la Rockefeller, Carnegie and Gates. But Victor Rosa's domain is a successful "street pharmaceutical" business, built around a customized heroin mixture he has dubbed "Empire." Victor's beautiful fiancee Carmen (Delilah Cotto) attends Baruch College, where she befriends fellow student Trish (Denise Richards). When Trish introduces Carmen and Victor to her investment banker boyfriend Jack (Peter Sarsgaard) at a chic penthouse party, the two men find they have much in common. And when Jack offers Victor a piece of his action on the stock market, Victor immediately sees it as a ticket out of the violent streets and into the safe haven of legitimate business, where clean money and a sophisticated Soho lifestyle await. But as he tries to buy his way out, Victor finds the old ties are not so easy to break - and that the price of going legit is much higher than he ever could have imagined.

EXTREME OPS - (PG13) - Extreme sports take on a new meaning when a downhill gold medalist and two extreme snowboarders - who tackle everything from train rails to vertical ice - hit the Austrian slopes with a film crew to shoot a commercial for a high-tech digital video. But the already dangerous stunt - to outrun an avalanche and capture the spectacular feat on film proves to be even more perilous when the cameraman accidentally captures footage of terrorists hiding out in the mountains. Now the dream-team skiers and the daring film crew have a very different reason for setting off a manmade avalanche ... to save the world.

FRIDA - (R) - Drama/Romance - This film tells the true story of Mexican painter and 20th century icon Frida Kahlo (Salma Hayek), focusing on her often rocky relationship with husband Diego Rivera (Alfred Molina), and their place in Mexican society. In addition to being a great artist, Frida Kahlo was also a bisexual and a communist, struggling with an abusive husband, a life of

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL Castle Theatre, 572-3456 Antwone Fisher - PG13 - Wednesday 5pm Gangs of New York - R - Wednesday 7:30pm

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Extreme Ops - Saving the world wracking pain following a trolley accident, the amputation of a leg, and finally, drug and alcohol abuse that killed her at age 47.

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - (PG) - Action/Adventure - While in his second year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry is confronted by strange voices that seem to eminate from the walls, a secret that relates to a historic mystery tied to House Slytherin.

THE HOT CHICK - (PG13) - Comedy - A popular high school student is transformed by a curse into her worst nightmare - a slovenly auto mechanic (Rob Schneider). She then has to adapt socially to her new body and figure out a way to reverse the spell.

MAID IN MANHATTAN - (PG13) - Romance Marisa Ventura (Jennifer Lopez), a maid in a classy Manhattan hotel, falls for an up and coming, successful politician (Ralph Fiennes) during his visit to New York in this fairy tale romance.

THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 - (G) - Comedy - Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) has been Santa Claus for the past eight years, but his life is thrown into turmoil when he discovers that he has to marry or else lose his reign as old St. Nick forever.

SOLARIS - (PG13) - Science Fiction - Upon arrival at a seemingly abandoned space station called Solaris, a psychiatrist discovers that the station commander has been killed and strange visions have driven the crew insane. Soon he, too begins to see things, including a vision of his dead wife. Stars George Clooney.

TREASURE PLANET - (PG13) - Animation - This film follows fifteen-year-old Jim Hawkin's fantastic journey across a parallel universe as cabin boy aboard a glittering space galleon. Befriended by the ship's charismatic cyborg (part man, part machine) cook John Silver, Jim blossoms under his guidance, and shows the makings of a fine spacer as he and the alien crew battle supernovas, black holes and ferocious space storms.

WES CRAVEN PRESENTS: THEY - (PG13) Suspense/Thriller - A graduate student struggles to understand her terrible nightmares, and in the process, discovers that the terrors that haunted her as a child may be real - and coming after her.

Maui Mall, 249–2222 D - Daily: Fri., Mon.-Thu. Analyze That - R - D (11:40, 1:35, 1:55, 4:15), 7:25, 7:45, 10, Sa-Su (11:40, 1:35, 1:55), 4:15, 7:25, 7:45, 10 8 Crazy Nights - PG13 - D (11:20, 1:30, 4:40), 7:20, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:20, 1:30), 4:40, 7:20, 9:30 Emperor’s Club - PG13 - D (11:05, 4:05), 9:40, Sa-Su (11:05), 4:05, 9:40 Empire - R - D (11:30, 2, 4:20), 7:40, 10, Sa-Su (11:30, 2), 4:20, 7:40, 10 Frida - R - D (1, 4), 7:05, 9:45, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7:05, 9:45 Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets PG - D (12, 3:30), 7:30, Sa (12, 3:30), Su (12, 3:30), 7:30 Hot Chick - PG13 - D (11:25, 1:50, 4:10), 7:30, 9:55, Sa-Su (11:25, 1:50), 4:10, 7:30, 9:55 Maid In Manhattan - PG13 - D (11:15, 11:30, 1:45, 2, 4:15, 4:30), 7, 7:15, 9:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:15, 11:30, 1:45, 2), 4:15, 4:30, 7, 7:15, 9:30, 9:45 Santa Clause 2 - G - D (11:10, 1:40, 4:30), 7:10, 9:35, Sa-Su (11:10, 1:40), 4:30, 7:10, 9:35 Star Trek: Nemesis - PG13 - D (11, 1:15, 1:45, 4, 4:25), 7, 7:15, 9:35, 9:50, Sa-Su (11, 1:15, 1:45), 4, 4:25, 7, 7:15, 9:35, 9:50 2 Weeks Notice - PG13 - Sneak Preview: Sa 7:30

KA`AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 878–3456 Die Another Day - PG13 - D (1, 1:45), 4:15, 4:55, 7:10, 7:45, 9:55 8 Mile - R - D (12:30), 5:15, 9:50 Extreme Ops - PG13 - D (3), 7:45 Solaris - PG13 - D (12:40, 3), 5:15, 7:35, 9:55 Treasure Planet - PG - D (12:35, 2:50), 5, 7:15, 9:30 Wes Craven Presents: They - PG13 - D (12:30, 2:40), 4:45, 7:05, 9:15

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 878–3456 Die Another Day - PG13 - Fr-Su (12:30, 3:45), 6:45, 9:45, M-Tu (12:30), 3:45, 7:15 Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets PG13 - Fr-Su (12, 3:30), 8, M-Tu (12), 3:30, 7 Star Trek: Nemesis - PG13 - Fr-Su (12:45, 3:15), 7, 10, M-Tu (12:45, 3:15), 7:45 Treasure Planet - PG13 - Fr-Su (12:15, 2:30), 4:45, 7:30, 10, M-Tu (12:15), 2:30, 4:45, 7:30, 10

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 D- Daily: Fr, M-Tu Analyze That - R - D (3:45), 6:45, 9:55, Sa-Su (12:45), 3:45, 6:45, 9:55 Die Another Day - PG13 - D (3:30), 7:15, 9:55, Sa-Su (12:15, 3:30), 7:15, 9:55 Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets PG - D (3), 6:30, 10, Sa-Su (11:30, 3), 6:30, 10 Star Trek: Nemesis - PG13 - D (4), 7, 10, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 10

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 D - Daily: Fr, M-Th Hot Chick - PG13 - D (11:15, 1:45, 4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:15, 9:30 Maid In Manhattan - PG13 - D (11:30, 2, 4:30), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7:30, 9:45 Treasure Planet - PG - D (11, 1:30, 4), 7, 9:15, Sa-Su (11, 1:30), 4, 7, 9:15

The U.S.S. Enterprise and the Scimitar

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

19

DA KINECALENDAR DA SHOWS

Gallagher - Friday, 12/13. You’ve seen him demolish everything from watermelons to chocolate milk, now the legendary Gallagher brings his Sledge-O-Matic and off-beat humor to Maui for a show that is sure to make you laugh and duck for cover. 7:30pm, A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Willie Kalikimaka - Saturday, 12/14. An eclectic and versatile musician and prolific songwriter, Maui-born Willie Kahaiali’i has won multiple Hoku Hanohano Awards and has played with such music legends as B.B. King, Santana and Willie Nelson. Willie has been described as “an amazing guitar virtuoso, a Hawaiian Jimi Hendrix, he’s Gabby Pahinui, Andres Segovia and Eddie Van Halen rolled into one.”(Honolulu Weekly).

Willie and his band will deliver an exciting evening of traditional Hawaiian music, lively blues and rock’n roll, and a few Christmas favorites. 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Punk-On-The-Rock Concert - Saturday, 12/14.

Featuring Bouncing Souls, Anti-Flag, Drowning Adam and 86 List. 4pm, Pipeline Café, Oahu, (808) 638-7700.

Bela Fleck & The Flecktones - Sunday, 12/15.

Considered the premier banjo player in the world, double-Grammy winner Bela Fleck is the only musician to be nominated for Grammys in bluegrass, jazz, pop, country, spoken word, composition, and world music.

Says Entertainment Weekly, “Heavyweight players who make an endearing fusion, the Flecktones have a fine time roaming all over the musical map...it’s hard to resist a band that draws on so many styles of music with such glee.” Come for a rockin’ evening! 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

An Evening with Howard Wills & Bhagavan Das - Sunday, 12/15. A powerful evening of healing, chanting and transformation. Also performing are Gerry Bostock and Hawai’i’s own David Backstrom!

7:30pm, McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Maui Symphony Orchestra - Monday, 12/16.

a n n a W e?

Danc

Lahaina, 667-5117.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Jazz, 7:3010:30pm Sunday. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Ernest Pua’a and Brian Kaui Haia, Thurs.; Ernest Pua’a, Kawika Lum Ho & Brian Haia, Fri.; Maurice Bega, Da Ukulele Boys, Sat.; Kawika Lum Ho, Da Ukulele Boys, Sun.; Kawika Lum Ho, Albert Kaina & Brian Kaui Haia, Mon.; Jarret Roback, Don Kaulia & Albert Kaina, Tues.; Ernest Pua’a, Brian Kaui Haia & Roy Kato, Wed. Live music is from 3-5 and 7-9:30pm.

2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 6676636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Live music Mon., Wed., Fri. Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue., Wed., Thu.; Harry The One Man Band, Sat., Sun.; Sets from 6:30-10pm. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, 7-8:30pm Wed. thru Sun. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Classic rock with JD & Mario, 2:30-5:30pm, Fri.; Hawaiian music with Kilohana, 3:30-6pm Sat. and Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Maui Brews - Jonah Livin Band, 6-10pm, Fri. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7794.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Damien Awai Band, 6:30pm, Fri.; Howard Ahia, 7:30pm, Sat. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Hawaiian Style), Thurs.; Greg DiPiazza (Classic Rock N Roll), Fri.; Ed Truthan (Versatile Contemporary Rock N Roll), Sat.; Erik Pietsch (if you like Jimmy Buffet, you will love Erik), Mon.; Ricardo Dioso (Flamenco Guitar), Tues.; Rene Alonzo (New Orleans Style Piano), Wed.; All 69pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steak House - Dinner jazz with Eve Moffatt, 6-9pm Mon. and Tues. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, Kaanapali, 667-7477.

Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincaid Basques, Thurs.; Napili Kai Foundation Show, 6pm Fri.; Kincaid Basques, Sat. thru

“Holidays in Paradise” is a jubilant concert of seasonal favorites, featuring the Maui Symphony Chorus and the Maui Youth Chorus. 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

TICKETS ON SALE

Hatebreed - Saturday, 12/21. All ages welcome.

7pm, Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, (808) 589-1999.

Wayne Brady - Monday, 12/30. Improvisational comedic actor/impersonator from the hit comedy series Whose Line is it Anyway? 7pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Together Again - Friday, Jan. 3rd. Harvey Korman and Tim Conway reunite with several of their most famous characters from The Carol Burnett Show as well as new material that is sure to tickle your funny bone. 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Imago Theatre in Frogz - Friday, Jan. 10th. A fantastic creature-theater performance bringing to life objects, animals and the absurd to entertain and mystify. Illusion, vaudeville and inventiveness create human slinkys, proud penguins, bouncing string, and leapeing frogs for an evening of fun for all ages.

7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed., Thurs. and Fri.; Harry Troupe, Sat.; Kaleo Phillips, Sun.; Clay Mortensen, Mon. and Tues.; All sets from 7:30-10pm.

700 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Canoes Restaurant – Marve Blue w/ tropical jazz, 5:308:30pm Wed.-Sat. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Patrick Major, Thurs., Sat., Sun. and Wed.; Harry Troupe, Fri.; Gail Swanson, Mon. and Tues. All sets from 4:30-7:30 and 8-11pm.

811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Pianist David Swanson, 7:30-11:30pm. 127 Lahainaluna Road,

IN

THE

H EART

OF

Tues.; Albert Kaina, Wed.; All 7:30-9:30pm unless otherwise noted. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Whale’s Tale Bar & Grill - Eric Pietsch, Thurs.; Ed Truthan, Fri.; Joe Benedett, Sat.; JD & Mario, Sun.; Patrick Major, Mon. & Tues.; Armadillo, Wed. All sets from 6-9pm. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4044.

SOUTH MAUI

Bada Bing – Kenny Roberts, Thurs.; Kawika Maikai, Fri.; Pups Unplugged, Sun.; Mondo, Wed.; All play from 5:30-7:30pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875-0188.

Capische? – Live piano music every night with Sal Godinez or Patricia Watson. Salvador Godinez, 6pm Fri. Call ahead for details. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, 6:30-9pm, Thurs., Fri. & Sun.; Miguel Maldonado Quartet, Sat. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Mark Johnston solo piano, Wed. thru Sun.; Brian Cuomo solo piano Mon. & Tues. Sets from 7-10pm. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Wed.-Fri.; Guitar & vocals w/ Brado, Sat.; Steel drums & sax w/ Brian Wittman, Sun., Mon. & Tue. All from 6-10pm. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Wailea Steak & Seafood - Live music 9-11pm Thurs. thru Sat. 100 Wailea Ike Drive, 879-2875.

CENTRAL MAUI

Manana Garage – Neto & Friends, 6:30pm Thurs.Sat., Tues.; Fortunato’s Magic, 7pm Fri.; Bobby & Tula, 6:30pm Wed. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Jacque’s - Greg DiPiazza & Tato Duo, 7-10:30pm Mon. 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Moana Cafe - Jazz w/ Eve Moffatt, 7pm Fri.; Gypsy guitar w/ Bo Shores, 6pm Sun.; Hawaiian music, 6:30pm Wed. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT D ISCO “B EST L ATE N IGHT I N M AUI ”

• $5 cover after 9:30PM House DJ Gebb & Guest DJ BBoy Rob!

FRIday, DEC. 13th

DR. NAT & RIO RITMO SAMBA SALSA & RITMO LATINO

SATURday, DEC. 14TH

MARTY DREAD MAUI’S REGGAE MASTER

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For reservations and information, call 572–0220 • Log on! casanovamaui.com 20

DECEMBER 12, 2002

DA KINE CALENDAR

DA KINECALENDAR RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Ed Truthan w/ contemporary classics, Thurs.; Patrick Major, Fri.; Wayne & Friends, Sat.; Ed & Ron, Sun.; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon.; Scott Baird & Friends w/ contemporary music, Tues.; Howard Ahia w/ Hawaiian music, Wed.; all 5:30-9:30pm. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Hyatt Regency Maui 200 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 661-1234 Torchlighting ceremony at 6:15 nightly followed by live Hawaiian entertainment 6:30-9:30 nightly in the Weeping Banyan: Sam Fukuhara, Thurs., Sun.-Tue.; Larry Gollis, Fri-Sat.; Stephanie Anderson, Wed. "Drums of the Pacific" luau by Tihati, 5:30-8 nightly.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Black Rock Illusions dinner show at 5:30pm Sun., Tue. & Thu. in the Kanahele Room; Ka’anapali Serenaders, 6-9:30pm Sat.; Free hula show 6:30-7:30 nightly; Auntie Aloha’s Breakfast Luau, 8:15am Mon.-Fri.; Paniolo Barbecue w/ live music & dancing, 6pm Mon.; Sunday champagne brunch w/ Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9am-1pm.

Kapalua Bay Hotel / Kapalua Bay H o t e l ,

A Luxury Collection Resort 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Solo pianist from 6-9:30 nightly.

Gardenia Court: Hawaiian guitar, 11am-1:30pm Sun.; Lehua Lounge: Hawaiian guitarist 5:30-9:30 nightly.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Sea House Restaurant: Kincaid Basques, Sun.Tue.; Albert Kaina, Wed.; Kincaid & Albert, Thu.; Napili Kai Foundation Polynesian Dinner Show, 6pm Fri.; Kincaid Basques, Sat.; All shows from 7-9pm unless otherwise noted.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Reiko, solo guitarist & vocalist beginning at 5:30pm nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae 6:30-9:45pm Wed.-Sun. Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/ Eddie Lilikoi & Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian & Polynesian songs and dances at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 6610031 Lagoon Bar entertainmw/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu., Mon.

& Tue.; Ralph & Allan, Fri.; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat. & Sun.; Nathan & Ralph, Wed.; Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7 to 8 nightly.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Bobby Ingram Trio, Sun., Wed. & Sat.; JD Band, Tue.; Keoki Kahumoku, Mon., all 7-9pm; Fortunato’s magic 6:30-8:30pm Tue., Thu. & Sat.

SOUTH MAUI

Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian Music 5:30-7:30pm & hula 5:30-6:30pm Tue., Thu. & Sat.; Tiffany Lee & Josh 8:30-11:30pm Mon., Tue., Thu. & Sat. Ricardo Dioso & Margie Heart, 8:30-11:30pm Wed. and Fri. Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu.; Brian Mansano, Fri.; Ricardo, Sat.; Luis Diaz, Sun.-Tue.; Mitch Kepa, Wed.; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Outrigger Wailea Resort 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian entertainment w/ hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradyse & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon., Tue., Thu., Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Jamie Lawrence, Tue.-Sat.; solo guitarist Sun. & Mon., 6-9pm Wailea Sunset Luau, 68:30pm Tue., Thu. and Sat. Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian &contemporary guitar & vocals, 6-10:30pm Sun., 68:30pm Tue., Thu. and Sat. Mele ‘Ohana duo, 6 -8pm Mon., Wed. and Fri., 8:30-10:30pm Mon.-Sat. and 9am-1pm Mon., Wed. and Fri.

EAST MAUI

Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, 6:309:30pm Thu.-Sun.; Hula show, 7:30-8:15pm every Thu. and Sun. in the Main Dining Room.

WORKSHOPS

University of Hawaii Center Maui is pleased to be offering the PostBaccalaureate Certificate in Secondary Education (PBSCE) and the Master of Education in Special Education (Med SPED) programs. For more information, call 984-3525.

GED Foundations offered at Hui Malama Learning Center – Registration is open for students aged 14 and up and includes an assessment test and educational counseling. Call 244-5911 to register and to schedule an assessment test.

Sing Your Heart out! with Louise Lambert - Beginners to Karaoke singers to Grammy Winners! Gain range expansion,flexibility, power, stamina, breath control,harmonizing and the joy of singing! Weekly in Kihei and Pukalani. Call 875-1891.

THURSDAY, December 12

Free Country Dance Lessons - 7-7:30pm, at the Mayor Tavares Community Center in Pukalani. No partner is needed! Learn line dance basics and meet new people. Call 661-8639.

Lahaina Arts Society’s Outreach Arts Program - 3-5pm, West Maui Boys and Girls Club, Lahaina. Also, Upcountry Boys and Girls Club, Makawao. Free public classes. All materials provided. Ages 5-18. For more info, call 874-3104.

Wayne Brady

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

FRIDAY, December 13

Class on Creating a Christmas Centerpiece 8:30-11:30am, at Kaunoa Senior Center in Paia.

Greens and kits will be available at class, and students are asked to bring pruning shears. Call 270-7308.

Beginners Computer Class - 8am-12pm, at Kaunoa Senior Center in Paia. Instruction will also include hands on exercises. Call 270-7308.

Maui Childbirth's Infant CPR Class - 6:308:30pm, in the Cameron Center auditorium. Call to reserve a space: 244-7467.

Modeling & Photography Workshops - 6-7pm, at Pacific Custom Lab, 1787 Wili Pa Loop, Wailuku.

Call 244-7733.

SaturDAY, December 14

Seminar for Single & Couple on Sacred Relationships - 9:30am-5:30pm, in Maui Meadows.

A potluck mixer will follow until 7pm. Call 891-0719.

SuNDAY, December 15

Class on Making Collage Holiday Cards - 14pm, at Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center. Participants will make fancy paper, stamps & customized cards. Call 572-6560.

Class on Making Ceramic Picture Frames - 12pm, at Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center. Students will use basic clay techniques to create a unique picture frame. Call 572-6560.

MONDAY, December 16

Free Workshop to Learn How to Access Data from Census 2000 - 8:30-11:30am, Maui Community College. For more info, call 270-7414.

Country Line-Dancing Lessons - 7-8:30pm, at Lahaina Cannery Mall. Call Cynda Hearn at 661-5304.

Intermediate Aluminum Plate Lithography 6:30-9:30pm, at Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, Makawao. Taught by Nancy Skrimstad. Call 808-6560.

Lahaina Arts Society’s Outreach Arts Program - 3-5pm, Central Maui Boys and Girls Club, Wailuku. Free public classes. All materials provided.

Ages 5-18. For more info, call 874-3104.

TuESDAY, December 17

Free Workshop to Learn How to Access Data from Census 2000 - 8:30-11:30am, Maui Community College. For more info, call 270-7414.

Class on Christmas Ornaments Beading for Teens - 3:30-5:30pm, at Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center. Ages 10-17. For more info, call 572-6560.

Media Activist Workshop - 8:30-11:30am, Akaku Studios in Kahului. Focusing on marketing and public relations for non profit organizations. Call 871-5554.

WEDNESDAY, December 18

Writing Hawai`i Workshop - 5:30-8pm, at Alii Mocha in Lahaina. Sponsored by the Art School at Kapalua. For writers of all levels. Call 665-0007.

Hawaii Ballroom Dance Association - 7-9pm, South Maui. East Coast Swing and Rumba group classes. No partner necessary. Professional instruction

by Rita O'Connor. Call 891-2949.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Christmas Tree Fundraiser - 10am-4pm, at the Art School at Kapalua. The Christmas tree sale begins on November 25th with a tree costing $25.00. The last day to pick up your tree December 23rd. To reserve your tree call 665-0007.

Whale Mania - Now thru March. Whale sculptures by local artists displayed island-wide to be auctioned off in March. Soroptimist of West Maui Fundraiser benefiting Maui Humane Society. Contact Louise Rockett at 669-6311 for more info.

2nd Annual Fine Art & Craft Faire - on December 14th. Unity Church of Maui is now registering artists and crafters to participate. If you are a crafter, artist, musician, jewelry maker, or have other unique items that you would want to sell for Christmas, please call Kimberley at 242-9327.

ON-GOING )

Free Oral HIV Testing – By the Dept. of Health available by appointment only. Call 984-2129.

CCC Camp Seeks Volunteers - To help paint or

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

21

DA KINECALENDAR glaze the new windows. No experience needed. The CCC Camp is an old 1935 Civilian Conservation Corp Camp. The program was started by Franklin Roosevelt during the depression in the 1930's. The guys planted trees, cleared trails and roads and did general clean up in Kokee. Then came World War II and the guys were sent to the military instead. Call Rosalind Thompson at 335-9975.

NKFH’s Kidney Car Donation - The National Kidney Foundation of Hawaii encourages Maui residents to donate their cars for a tax deduction.

Proceeds raised by NKFH from the sale of donated cars help fund early kidney disease detection screenings, public education, patient services, research, and the promotion of organ donations for life saving transplants. For more info, call 986-1900.

Kiwanis Club of Kahului's Food Drive to Benefit Operation Blessing - Canned goods can be submitted to the Kiwanis Club at its weekly meeting held every Tuesday at the Maui Beach Hotel at 12 p.m. People may also submit canned goods at Cash N Carry and at the Emmanuel Lutheran Church in Kahului. Contact Lynn A.S. Araki-Regan at 244-6042.

Kihei Youth Center Needs Adult Volunteers For health & fitness programs as well as cultural activites. Call Amber at 879-8698 for more info.

Haiku Community Association Seeks Volunteers - Contact Tim Wolfe at 575-7474.

Hale Kau Kau Volunteers Needed - 3:30-6:30pm, located at St. Theresa's Catholic Church, Kihei.

Volunteers are needed for meal prep, serve, & cleanup. Donations of food and/or funds accepted.

Contact Marie Osaki @ 875-8754.

Maui Friends of the Library Used Bookstore 8am-4pm, Mon.-Sat. Central Maui. Accepts donations of books & can always use energetic volunteer help.

Call 871-6563.

Maui Information & Visitors Center - 10:3011:15am, Kihei. First time to Maui or not, enjoy a free

Bela Fleck & the Flecktones continental breakfast while learning about Maui; things to see, places to go, facts about tours & activities. Receive discount coupons for dining. (Not a Timeshare presentation). Call RW at 874-4919.

Maui Artists Program - Many of Maui's finest resident artists display & discuss their original works at Four Seasons Resort Maui on Wed., Fri. & Sun. 8am1:30pm. For more info, call 874-8000.

East Maui Animal Refuge - 9am Thu. at refuge, 25 Malu Aina Place, Haiku, for volunteer orientation meetings & tours. Call Sylvan @ 572-8308.

9th Life Cat Sanctuary – 1pm Thu., Haiku.

Volunteer orientation meeting. Call Lela; 573-7877.

Everyone at

EVENTS

7th International Shoebox Sculpture Exhibition - 12/6-12/28, in the Schaefer Gallery of the Maui Arts & Cultural Center. 80 small sculptures from around the world demonstrate how artists handle the challenges of space and scale as dictated by a shoebox. Collectively they offer an engaging and powerful statement about the impact of small things and big ideas. Call 242-2787.

Whale Information Station - 8:30am-3:30pm daily, at McGregor Point Lookout. Staffed by Pacific

THURSDAY, DecEMBER 12

MAUI PIZZA CAFE

eine!

H A b a r G $2 Heinekens

Thurs. thru thruSat. Sat. 9-11pm 9-11pm Thurs.

2

$

THURS 9pm 12/12

OPEN MIC NIGHT

with Mike of the Piston Pushers NO COVER

FRI 9:30pm 12/13

Anesthesia

Wishes you

Happy Holidays!

$2 COVER

SAT 9pm 12/14

THE KARAOKE

Mistress Linda O. NO COVER

891-2200

2439 SOUTH KIHEI ROAD

UPSTAIRS IN THE RAINBOW MALL

22

DECEMBER 12, 2002

DA KINE CALENDAR

Whale Foundation's knowledgeable naturalists.

McGregor Point is on Route 30, Honoapiilani Highway, between Maalaea and Lahaina. Call 249-8811.

"Tony n' Tina's Wedding" Play - 6:30pm, Monday thru Saturday, at the Hyatt Regency Maui. Comedy Dinner Show featuring an all-Hawaii cast and crew. To purchase tickets or for more info, call 667-4727.

Picture-taking with Santa - 11am-2pm, Sat.-Sun., Lahaina Cannery Mall. For info, call 661-5304.

Christmas Craft Fair - 9am-5pm Tue.-Sat., at Ohana Trading Co., 35 Central Ave., Wailuku.

Christmas wreaths, quilts, ornaments, baskets, soaps, art, clothing and other gift items. Call Melody Mariani at 249-2404.

Gingerbread House Contest - The Maui 4-H Organization clubs’ entries will be on display December 9th to 16th at the Wallace Theaters at Maui Mall. Stop by and vote for your favorite entry for the "People's Choice" Award. Call 244-3242 for more info.

Public Meeting to Discuss Future of State Arts Group - 5:30pm, at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center. The "talk-story" session will be used to aid directors of the State Foundation on Culture and the Arts in developing the foundation's "Strategic Plan 2003-07." For more info, call 523-8688.

"Food Sovereignty, Environmental Justice, & the Geopolitics of Meat" - 7pm, at the Seventh Day Adventist Church in Kahului (at Puunene & Wakea). Meetings are free and open to the public.

Free food samples will be available.

Rotary Club of Wailuku - 7am, at Maui Tropical Plantation. Cost of the breakfast is $9. Call Jennifer Bohlin @ 244-0908.

Weekly Gathering of Maui's Top Artists 8:30am, on the grounds of Keolahou Hawaiian Church, in North Kihei. Call Michael Stark at 879-9337.

Maui Live Poets Society - 6:30-9pm, Lahaina. Call Melinda Gohn (“gawn”): 661-0517.

Country Dance - 8-9:30pm, at the Mayor Tavares Community Center in Pukalani. Ballroom dancers and beginners always welcome. Call 661-8639 for info.

Maui Okinawan Kenjin Kai Executive Board Meeting - 7:30pm, at the Maui Okinawan Cultural Center. For more info, call 242-1560.

Maui Executive Association - 7:15-8:30am.

Business to business lead generating organization.

Breakfast meetings. Call Joni Brotherton at 244-1464.

Kiwanis Club of Maui - 12pm, at Maui Beach Hotel. Call Kathy Suguitan @ 893-2088.

Rotary Club of Lahaina - 12-1pm, at the Royal Lahaina Hotel's Alii Room. Contact Tanya Every, President, at 242-7882.

FRIDAY, December 13

Billabong Night - 9pm, at Hard Rock Maui. Hang out with the Billabong surf team. Tunes spun by DJ Keala Kennelly (Pro surfer/star of “Blue Crush”).`Over

DA KINECALENDAR $1,000 in prizes including men's & women's Billabong clothing, Blue Crush gear & CD's, autographed items, & more! Proceeds benefit Surfrider Foundation, Maui Chapter and Save Ma'alaea. For info, call 667-7400.

AKAKU's Open Media House - 9am-4:30pm, at 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului. Visitors will be able to tour the facilities, enjoy light refreshments, and record a brief holiday greeting to be shown on cable. Call 871-5554.

Ballroom Holiday Ball - 6-11pm, Fairmont Kea Lani Resort. Semi-formal ball presented by Hawaii Ballroom Dance Association. Buffet dinner; ballroom dancing throughout the evening. Wrapped gifts for homeless children of Maui accepted at this event. For more info, call Mary Norton, Ticket Chairperson at 8759161.

Te Tiare Patitifa’s “A Night in Wailuku” 5:30pm, Iao Theater. Hawaiian dance and music.

Advance tickets available at If the Show Fits in Wailuku and Klahani Travel in Lahaina Cannery Mall.

"Friday Night Special Movie Nights" - 6:309pm, at the Pa'ia Youth & Cultural Center. 12 X 12 foot bigscreen w/full stereo sound. Free and Open to public. Alcohol and Tobacco free. “Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones” will be preceded by bodyboarding/surf film. For more info, call 579-8354.

Lecture on the Middle East Conflict from the Palestinian Perspective - 6:30-10pm, Haiku Community Center. Also features a screening of the video "War, Terrorism, and the Media". For more info, call Dave Wilson at 573-1194.

Dance Planet - 9pm-12:30am, Maui Yoga Shala.

Paia’s only Dance Club! Smoke-free, all ages - Funky freestyle mix w/DJ Goran. For info, call 281-6779.

Rotary Club of Maui Upcountry - 7:15am, Pukalani Community Center. Guests are welcome.

Breakfast ($8 - catered by Cow Country Cafe) is served. Call Rick Woodford at 877-0027.

No Ka Oi Toastmasters Club - 12-1pm, at old MEO location on Kane Street. Communication training. Call 874-5263. Open to public.

Friday Night is Art Night in Lahaina - 7-10pm.

Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town for special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action, and refreshments, all free & open to the public! Call Theo Morrison at 667-9194.

Aloha Friday Craft Fair - 9am-2pm, Outrigger Wailea Resort. Maui artisans display and sell their handcrafted island products, part of award-winning Ho'olokahi cultural program. For info, call 879-1922.

Kilo Hoku - 6:30pm, Haleakala Visitor Center. Free program featuring stargazing and star lore. For more info, call 572-4400.

SATURDAY, December 14

Winter Festival 2002 - 12-3:30pm, Napili Plaza.

Free photos w/Santa (1-3pm), contests, activities, horseback rides and live music. Call 665-0546.

A Day in the Life of Mrs. Santa Claus - 7:30pm, at Historic Iao Theatre. Enjoy the songs and dancing, along with the laughs and "feel all fuzzy warm inside" with Judy's story starring Diana Hutchinson as Mrs. Santa Claus, Cameron Keys as Farkle the Elf along with 21 adult and children dancers. Call 270-7308.

Raw Luck Hawaii Style - 11:30am-2pm, Kalama Park. Bring your favorite raw dishes, plates & utensils or $5 donation. Call 984-6086 for info or carpooling.

Seaside Stories on "Marine Mysteries" - 11am, Children’s section at Borders Books & Music, Kahului.

The program is free and is conducted by the marine education staff of Pacific Whale Foundation for kids age 4-10. For information, call 249-8811.

Maui Marine C.O.R.E. Service Project Conserving Ocean Resources through Education is a free program for for all youth in grades 8 - 12. For information, call Pacific Whale Foundation at 249-8811.

SUNDAY, December 15

A Day in the Life of Mrs. Santa Claus - 12 & 6pm, at Historic Iao Theatre. There’s nothing like seeing someone else’s crazy day to be able to laugh at your own. The beloved Mrs. Claus is played by Diana Hutchinson and the thorn in her side is Farkle the Elf, played by Cameron Keys, with both hands full of mischief. Call 270-7308 for more information.

Wailuku Hongwanji Mission's General Cleanup - 8am, at Wailuku Hongwanji Mission.

Members are requested to bring tools, rags, newspapers & other items needed for cleanup. Call 244-0406.

Sierra Club’s Guided Hike - 8am, Kihei Pool parking lot. Explore Keoneoio Shoreline to Hanamanioa Lighthouse. The hike will be guided by noted author and marine biologist Ann Fielding. Call Lucienne deNaie at 572-8331 for more information.

Harps for the Holidays - 4pm, St. John’s church, Keokea. Harps, guitars, bowed psaltery, concertina, and other instruments, will lead the audience in singing carols. For more info, call 573-5742.

Performance by Kristine Snyder - 5:30-8:30pm, at The Shops at Wailea. Enjoy live electric harp in the East Wing at Honolulu Coffee Co. Call 891-6770.

Gift & Craft Fair - 9am-4pm, Lahaina Civic Center.

Benefits Kihei Youth Center. Call 879-7594 for info.

Swap Meet at the Kihei Open Market - 9am4pm, on Piilani Highway past Tesoro, off Ohukai Street, Kihei. Call 283-0461 or 870-4011.

MONDAY, December 16

Public Hearing on Development of a Wind Farm on State Land - 6pm, at Maui Community College Science Building. 2 companies, Hawaii Wind Energy, LLC, and GE Wind Energy, are both seeking conservation district use permits & state land leases.

Public Hearing on Applications for Conservation District Use Permits - 6pm, at the Science Building at Maui Community College. From both Hawaii Wind and GE Wind Energy.

Oral HIV Testing - 10am-1pm at Keolahou Church in Kihei. Call Takako @ Dept of Health @ 984-2129.

Rotary Club of Kahului - 12-1pm, at the Dunes Restaurant. For more info, call David Cain @ 242-9350 or President Bob Yeager @ 244-1130.

A Course in Miracles - A Study/Reading Group - 6:30-8:30pm, at Unity Church, Wailuku. By donation. For info, call Michael or Richard @ 2429327.

Open Mic. Night - 6:45pm, at Hale Imua Internet

Cafe, Wailuku. Express yourself with music, poetry, dance, etc. Hosted by David Gilbertson. Call 242-1896.

Needlework-in-Progress - 6-8pm. Bring any piece of needlework (quilting, needlepointing, x-stitch) for help, encouragement, or technique instruction.

Contact Dolphine or Ruth Ann at 662-8554.

TUESDAY, December 17

Wake Up With the Whales - 7:30-8am, along oceanside path by the Maui Outrigger in Wailea. Enjoy a free talk about Hawaii's humpback whales from a Pacific Whale Foundation naturalist.

Kalama Intermediate School Band Holiday Concert - 6:30pm, Castle Theater of the Maui Arts & Cultural Center. FREE Admission. Call 270-SHOW. Kihei Community Association Public Meeting - 6:30-8:30pm, at the Kihei Community Center. For more information, please call 879-5390.

Maui High School Band's Christmas Concert 7pm, at Maui High School Gym. Performance by Linda Carnavale's Strolling Keiki Choir - 7pm, at Maui Mall in Kahului.

HIV Counseling & Testing Clinic - 8:00-11:30 a.m. and 1:00-3:30 p.m., Wailuku Health Center.

Sponsored by State Dept. of Health. Call 984-2129.

A Group of Our Own--Women's Group - 6-8pm,

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DANCE PARTY W/DJ BIG DADDY TWISTED SMIRNOFF DRINKS $2.75 COORS DRAFT $2

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DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

FRIDAY

12/13

Jonah Livin with Ed Truthan followed by

ISLAND STYLE FRIDAYS with Dezmen The Hawaiian Homeboy and Zack Kekona

SATURDAY$10alino 12/14 cover BEACH PARTY with 12/15

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

NIGHT LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR

DJ BOOMSHOT MONDAY 12/16 REGGAE MONDAYS

MARTY DREAD $5 cover $2.50 domestic drafts

TUESDAY

12/17

FAT TUESDAY PROGRESSIVE DRINKS $3 cover

$1 NIGHT

SURF

No cover $2 draft specials

INDUSTRY THIRSTY THURSDAY’S

WORLD FAMOUS TUESDAY’S

COVER STORY

THURSDAY 8/22

SUNDAY

$2.99 ICE COLD CORONAS

NEWS

D.U.H.

DJ BOOMSHOT

PLAIN, STRAWBERRY & MAUI MARGARITAS

LETTERS

12/12

No cover $3 shot specials

$2.99

www.mauitime.com

THURSDAY

CLASSIFIEDS

¢ DRINKS 50 starting at 9pm DJ BOOMSHOT WEDNESDAY

12/18

DOLLAR NIGHT

DJ Jammin J $5 cover 900 Front Street Lahaina 667-7794 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

23

DA KINECALENDAR

NIGHT CLUB THURSDAY

SOUND FACTORY HIP HOP DJ’S $3 DRINKS FRIDAY

SONIC PARTY ALL AGES

SATURDAY

FLAVA ZONE HAWAII DRINK SPECIALS ALL NIGHT

MONDAY

WILLIE K OWNS MONDAYS

Anastasia & Nils South Maui. For women who are committed to high level self-exploration & accelerated personal and spiritual growth. Contact Debra Greene, Ph.D. at 874-6441.

Rotary Club of Lahaina Sunrise - 7am, Pioneer Inn's Snug Harbor Parlor. Call Brian Blundell @ 6672709.

Rotary Club of Kihei/Wailea - 11:45am, Outrigger Wailea Resort. Call Greg Knue, President, at 871-8272.

Kiwanis Club of Kahului - 12-1pm, Maui Beach Hotel room 282, Kahului. Open to anyone! Lunch may be obtained from the snack shop in the Maui Beach Hotel Lobby. Call 244-6042 for more information.

Maui Toastmasters Club - 12pm, in the Maui Mall Merchants' Conference Room, Kahului. Open to public. Call 877-3894.

Maui Lions Club - 6:30pm, Maui Beach Hotel. Open to visiting Lions & general public. Call James Sato @ 572-8590.

Kihei Toastmasters Club - 6-7pm. Toastmaster's is a club that provides a mutually supportive and positive learning environment in which every member develops communication and leadership skills, which aids in personal growth and self-confidence. It is a

nonprofit organization and has been around for over 75 years. Contact Rita Mihaly at 572-3838.

WEDNESDAY, December 18

Animal Control Board Meeting - 9am, at Hale Mahaolu Elua Board Room, 200 Hina Avenue, Kahului.

For more info, call 270-7855.

Public Meeting to Discuss Adopting New Shoreline Setb - 1pm, at the Planning Department Conference Room, Kalana Pakui Building, Wailuku.

Call Daren Suzuki at 270-7506.

Performance by King K Jazz Band - 7pm, at Maui Mall, Kahului.

HIV Testing/Counseling Clinic – 9am-1:30pm, at Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center. Call 984-2129.

Rotary Club of Kihei Sunrise - 6:45-8am, at the Five Palms Grill. Breakfast meeting with speaker.

Visiting Rotarians and guests are invited. Call Leo Nikora at 879-0087.

Pili Aloha Club - 9-9:30am, Kihei Community Center. For seniors 55 & older, over breakfast. New members welcome! Call Louis Gerdts @ 875-7854.

Rotary Club of Maui - 12pm, at Maui Country Club

TUESDAY

CLUB

NUVEAU THE FUTURE OF NIGHT LIFE WEDNESDAY

ALOHA WEDNESDAY ALL DRINKS $2 UNTIL MIDNIGHT

41 E. Lipoa St. Kihei • 879-9001 24

DECEMBER 12, 2002

DA KINE CALENDAR

MauiTime Weekly seeks Freelance writers to cover stimulating & in-depth community interest stories.

Send resume, samples or ideas to: 658 Front Street. #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

in Spreckelsville. Lunch $10. Call President Amy Wasson @ 879-4414 for more info.

Soroptimist International of West Maui 12pm, Westin Maui. Visitors welcome. For reservations, call Josette Naki @ 661-6932.

Soroptimist International of Maui - 4-5pm, Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. Visitors are welcome! Call Jeanne @ 879-5913.

Maui Filipino Chamber of Commerce Meeting - 7-8pm, at Litz Furniture, Kahului. Call Mrs. Carinio at 871-8359.

WOW! Wailea on Wednesdays - 6:30-9:30pm, The Shops at Wailea. Live entertainment featuring Kristine Snyder w/Tina Schor & Friends, restaurant specials, art and fashion.. Call 891-6770.

SUPPORT GROUPS

Alcoholics Anonymous - 12pm, Monday thru Friday at St Theresa Church, 25 West Lipoa Street at South Kihei Road. For info, call 244-9673.

THURSDAY, DecEMBER12

United Self-Help Mental Health Support Group - 10am, at the Cameron Ctr. Call 879-7696.F Hana Women's Support Group - 5:30-7 p.m.

Presented by Child & Family Service. Call 877-6888.

Wailuku Noon Al-Anon Family Group - Noon at Hina Mauka, Wailuku. Call 242-0296.

Bridges Youth Group – in Wailuku. Maui's gay, lesbian, bisexual transgender or questioning youth group. Call 242-6821 for more info. All calls are confidential.

Cancer Talk Story - 6:30 p.m. at Cameron Center, Hui No Ke Ola Pono. Call 243-2967.

FRIDAY, December 13

Nicotine Anonymous - 6-7pm, at Hoololi Room of the old MEO building on Kane St. Call Earl @ 879-5796.

A Ho`omalu Ala Al Non – 12pm, at Lahaina Baptist Church. Group meeting. Call Kate @ 661-3906.

Women's Al-Anon - 12-1pm, at St. Theresa's Church in Kihei. Call Fumi, 879-1432 or Pat, 875-1153.

SATURDAY, December 14

Al Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics - 9:3011am, at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church (room off

DIFFICULTLISTENING

DA KINECALENDAR lanai next to church hall) in Wailuku. Call 242-0296.

Overeaters Anonymous - 8-9am, at Kamaole Beach Park III picnic tables in Kihei. Call 244-7572.

SUNDAY, December 15

Pattycake – 4pm. An infertility support group. For more info & location, call 280-0539.

Sunshine Group - 1pm, at Sandalwood Restaurant.

Fellowship among those who have lost a loved one.

Call Carole @ 242-5583 or Paul @ 874-3063.

MONDAY, December 16

Headache Support Group - 7-8pm, Cancer Institute of Maui Conference Room. Call Sandy Hew at 242-2401 or Kay Revell at 667-5662 for more info.

Overeaters Anonymous - 7:30-8:30pm, Kealahou Church, 177 S. Kihei Road. Call Jill at 874-3486.

Al-Anon - 12pm, Lahaina Baptist Church. 12-by-12 Study Group. Call Kate @ 661-3906.

Hepsters Hepatitis-C Support Group – 6:30pm, at the Hannibal Tavares Community Center multi-purpose room. Call Lora- 573-6366, or Mark- 283-7427.

P.A.R.E.N.T.S. - 6pm, old Kihei library. Videos & discussion on parenting techniques. Free. Child care also provided for free. Call Trudy @ 879-3595 Women Helping Women - 6-8pm in Kihei. For women whose lives have been affected by domestic violence. For more info, call 579-9581.

TUESDAY, December 17

Overeaters Anonymous - 6:00-7:30pm, Good Shepherd Church, 2140 Main Street, Wailuku. Call Kevin at 242-9511.

H.E.A.L. (Help Ease a Loss) - 6-7:30pm @ Hospice Maui. Call 244-5555 for more info.

Al-Anon – 12pm, at St. Theresa's Church St. Francis room. Call Ethel at 879-6597.

Children's Support Group - 5:30-7pm in Kahului.

For those who have been exposed to domestic violence. Call 877-6888.

P.A.R.E.N.T.S. - 6-8pm, Montessori School, Makawao. Techniques. Free. Call Trudy @ 879-3595.

Women's Support Group for Victims of Domestic Violence - 5:30-7:30pm, Kahului.

Presented by Child & Family Service. Call 877-6888.

WEDNESDAY, December 18

Happy Day Al-Anon Family Group - 9am, at Iao Congregational Church, Wailuku. Call 242-0296.

Overeaters Anonymous - 12-1pm, St. Theresa's Church, S. Kihei Rd/Lipoa St. Call Alice at 879-6725.

Women's Anger Management Groups - 9-11am, Kahului. Call 877-6888.

SPORTS

20th Anniversary Vans Triple Crown of Surfing Events - Now thru Dec.20th: The third and final stage of the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing; Xbox Gerry Lopez Pipeline Masters at Pipeline and the women’s Billabong Pro Maui. Competition will be held on the best days of surf during the holding period.Call Jodi Young at (808) 638-7700 for more information.

Billabong Pro Maui - Now thru Dec. 20th, Honolua Bay. The final Women's World Championship Tour (WCT) event on the 2002 Association of Surfing Professionals (ASP) Women's World Tour where 18 top surfers from around the globe meet to challenge

the elements and determine who will be crowned the world champion and take home a piece of a $60,000 purse. Contest hotline: 665-1094.

Skateboarding - at Kalama Skatepark in Kihei, and Keopuolani Skatepark in Kahului. Open 2:30-6:30pm on weekdays except Wednesday (open at 1:30pm), weekends open 11am-6:30pm. For info, call 242-9007.

2003 Mercedes Championships - PGA Tour’s season-opening event. Practice rounds Jan. 6 & 7, Proam Jan. 8, Competition Jan. 9-12. For tickets, call 1877-804-0472.

Beginner Karate Classes - 7-8pm Mon. & Wed., 11am-12pm Sat., Maui Family YMCA. Call 242-9007.

Free Fitness Classes - 6:30-7:30am & 8-9am, War Memorial Gym. Cardio/weights/stretching under instruction of Tom Burke. For more info, call 270-8031.

Kihei Little League - Currently accepting registration for players 12-to-15 years old. Practices are from 4-6pm Mon., Wed. & Fri. For more info, call 874-0002.

Maui Upcountry Little League - Registration forms available - practices start Jan. 6. Call 572-9660.

Youth Basketball League - South Maui Dept. of Parks & Rec. is accepting applications for play beginning in January. Boys & girls, age 5-15. Call 879-4533.

Kula Gateball Club - 5-8:30pm Sun. & Wed., at the Kula Community Center. Equipment is provided. for more info, call Ray Terada at 878-1500.

FriDAY, December 13

Billabong Pro Team Signing - 7-8:30pm, at Shapers Surf Shop in Queen Kaahumanu Center.

Billabong Night at Hard Rock Maui - 9pm. See Events Listing!

SunDAY, December 15

Aluminum Man 1/2 mi Swim, 1/4 mi Run, 1/4 mi Swim, 3.5 mi Run - 8am, at Wailea Beach. Call Nancy or Jami at 878-2949.

MonDAY, December 16

West Maui Table Tennis Club - 6:30-10:30pm, Lahaina Civic Center. Call Craig at 280-5056 for info.

Maui Inline Hockey Association Women’s Games - 8-10pm, Kalama Park Skating Rink. For more info, call Deb Driscoll at 875-4038.

TuesDAY, December 17

Maui Inline Hockey Association Men’s A Games - 7:30-9:30pm, Kalama Park Skating Rink. For more info, call Deb Driscoll at 875-4038.

Senior Softball Games - at Keopuolani Park. For players 50 years old and above. For info, call 877-5103.

DEVENDRA BANHART: OH ME OH MY...THE WAY THE DAY GOES BY THE SUN IS SETTING DOGS ARE DREAMING LOVESONGS OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (Young God Records, www.younggodrecords.com) Devendra is so totally dreamy. So far in my short life as a music reviewer this is easily the best release that I have received. 22 perfectly rough 4-track recordings ranging from a mighty 4 minutes down to a bite size 39 seconds show you a deeply touching songwriter in the beginning of a hopefully long and prosperous career. Just Devendra’s beautiful voice, acoustic guitar and an occasional passing car frame this collection of heartfelt, wonderful, and magical songs. Musically Devendra lies somewhere in the family of Marc Bolan’s Tyrannosaurus Rex, Vashti Bunyan, and John Fruciante’s Niandra Lades, with an added dash of Syd Barrett’s whimsy thrown on top. I just can’t live with the thought of possibly never hearing anymore from this amazing young man, so go check the record out and give him some well-deserved attention. [Tang Li Wheebs] This guy has a pretty different sound - I like it. Thumbs up. [The Mole]

The following reviews are presented by our guest reviewer Jojoboy of the esteemed Juha music group: THE MOLE: BELOVED RETARD BABIES (Motion Recordings, www.motionrecordings.com) Banned in Maui for emceeing topless in a hula skirt, the Mole popped up last year with his shining beatfest, Communion (recently re-released

by Snail on a Stick). Beloved Retard Babies ain't so much a follow-up as it is Communion's boo - tracks that didn't make it onto the original cd.

It's got Mista Mole's trademark mix of chunky and skittish beats, along with his straightforward, irresistable flows. And while Communion has more obvious "hits" ("American Home/House" and the unforgettable nursery rhyme gone wrong, "Caitlin"), Beloved Retard Babies is equally powerful and filled with gorgeous tracks that go off like fireworks and linger with you like the after-smoke. The Mole tackles serious issues: On "Oh Jenny" (a letter to a thong bikini diva), it's the way that the media represents women's bodies, and its messy effect on young girls; in "We All Make Our Own Decisions" and "Piggies," it's about the flesh that you consider food. But one of the Mole's great gifts is the way he can switch from guru to goofball in a blink, transforming himself into a punk rock John Travolta on the catchy-as-hell Grease romp, "Let's Get Wild (Madd Love)." With additional highlights like "A Prayer Before Dying" (a kinda murky Hip Hop take on "A Few of My Favorite Things" from The Sound Of Music) and an alternate version of Communion's "Monument Valley" (with warm horns replacing the original's icy beat, it'll take you back to the Flava Unit era), Beloved Retard Babies is glowingly fierce. [Jojoboy]

WednesDAY, December 18

NOMAR SLEVIK: PURPLE LIGHTS AND APRIL FOOLISHNESS

Maui Inline Hockey Association Men’s B Games - 8-10pm, Kalama Park Skating Rink. For more info, call Deb Driscoll at 875-4038.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

BY TANG LI WHEEBS & THE MOLE

(Motion Recordings/Liquid Medallions, www.nomarslevik.com) This is a traveling hallucination of Hip Hop. On his first album in five years, Nomar Slevik has just up and dropped the verse/chorus/verse format that even Hip Hop takes as standard, and instead busts out with Purple Lights and April Foolishness - a dreamy lil' soundtrack crying out for a movie. Fluid as mercury, the album is more easily recognized in segments of songs than by the songs themselves - a stray rap or hook between hypnotic sound waves, interludes of answering machine messages and a loopy freakfest of campfire folk ditties.

The tightest moments are when the emcees pop up into the dreamscape outta nowhere: The Mole on "Hate," "Existing/Missing" with Dreadnots, and Mista Slevik his'self can drop a mean verse. Still, it's the music that's at the heart of Purple Lights, and it goes from mighty pretty to mighty strange to some mighty fusion of the two (if Sesame Street was a colonial-themed Atari game haunted by a love-lorn ghost, it would be the lovely "Project Reader Camp.") Aside from its being truly inventive Hip Hop, you should get Nomar Slevik's Purple Lights and April Foolishness cuz it's an album for all occasions - you can dance to it, go to sleep to it, play it for grandma, and play it for your gang. [Jojoboy] Send music to be reviewed to Mole & Wheebs; 34 Ai St; Makawao, HI 96768.

The Mole is an MC/producer and owner of Motion Recordings (www.motionrecordings.com).

Tang Li Wheebs is an electronic musician and owner of Snail On A Stick Records (www.snailonastick.com).

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

25

thursday12/12

friday12/13

saturday12/14

sunday12/15

BADA BING

Tue - DJ Blunt, No cover, 10pm

1945 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

Boca-Beats featuring Live DJs, No cover, 10pm

BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP CO

Tula & Bobby, No cover, 10pm

Kilohana, Island Reggae Music No cover, 10pm

Willie K & The Maui Tribe, No cover, 2-5pm

889 Front Street, Lahaina - 661-3111

Mon - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata, Jam Night; Tu - Jaime Lawrence & Jay Molina, Contemporary & Hawaiian Music, Wed - Neto Perraza & Gilbert Emata, Latin: ALL SHOWS- 10PM, NO COVER CHARGE!

D.U.H., No cover, 10pm Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo, Samba Marty Dread, Maui’s reggae Master, Salsa & Ritmo Latino, $7, 9:45pm $8, 9:45pm

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT

Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm12:30am

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL

Salsa Night $5, 10pm

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Wed - Ladies’ Night, House DJ GED and Guest DJ B Boy Rob, $5, 9:45pm Mon - Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am; Tue - Closed @ night

DEANO’S MAUI PIZZA CAFE

Open Mic w/Eric & Mike, No cover, 9pm

Anesthesia, $2, 9:30pm

Karaoke w/Mistress Linda O., No cover, 9pm

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Ladies Night, Hip Hop DJs/Redline Prod’n, 9:30pm

Sonic Party, 16&over w/ID, noalcohol party, $10, 8pm

Flava Zone

Billabong Night, DJs Keala Kennelly & Jammin J, 10pm

The Rakes & Kanekoa, No cover, 10pm

T-Ray Band

Jose & the Josers, N/C, 5-7pm Crunch Pups, 9p-12am

The Edge, No cover, 9pm-12am

House of Dynasty Drag Show, w/Oahu performers, $5, 10pm

Blue Lounge presents...mmm Deep House Music, $5, 10pm

2439 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2200

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

JABBA’S PLACE

1280 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-0989

monday12/16 – wednesday12/18

Old School Club Hits: 60’s, 70’s, Mon - Uncle Willie K, $7, 10pm; Tue - Ultra Fab Tues. w/Chilltown Production, 9pm; 80’s, 90’s Dance Music, 8pm Wed - Aloha Nite, 9pm-1:30am

Sinful Saturdays w/DJ Fat Jo, Sunday sessions w/DJ Ed V Mon - Movie & Martini Night, No cover, 7:30pm; Tue - Circuit Dance Party w/Digital No cover, 10pm present “Dynamyk”, N/C, 10pm Video DJ, No cover, 9pm; Wed - Karaoke, No cover, 9pm

JACQUES

Mon - Greg diPiazza & Tato Duo

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

LA JAZZERIE

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-0822

Eclipse, No cover, 10pm

Kenny Roberts, No cover, 5-7pm

X-Mas Party w/El Nino, No cover, 7pm

Gina Martinelli Band, No cover, 6pm

Diamonds Are A Girls Best Howard Ahia band, No cover, Power Jam w/AZD featuring DJ Heat, $7, 10pm Friend/Ladies Night, $5, 9:30pm 9:30pm Kilohana, No cover, 10pm-Midnight

VooDoo Suns, No cover, 10pm-Midnight

Karaoke w/James, No cover, 9:30pm

Cryin’ Out Loud, No cover, 10pm-Midnight

Danny Paquette, 7:30pm Kelly Covington Jazz Vocals w/Brian Cuomo Duo, 9:15pm Mark Johnston & Band, 10:15pm

Bobby Ingram & Band, $5, 10:15pm

Tue-Wed - Da Hawaiian & Chico, No cover Mon - Karaoke w/James, No cover, 9:30pm; Wed - Karaoke w/James, No cover, 9:30pm Mon - Closed

Spinin’ Jazz & Open Mic, No cover, 7pm

Mon - Vampire’s Night, No cover, 7pm; Tue - Blue Lounge & House On 808, $3, 10pm; Wed - Pat Watson/Special Guest, No cover, 7-10pm/10:15pm-12:30pm

LATE NIGHT SPECIALS 10PM to 1AM

50% OFF SUSHI FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS 21 & OVER

NIGHT CLUB

KAPALUA-THURS & FRI KIHEI-THURS THRU SAT

presents

NEW YEARS BASH

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL 5:30PM to 6:00PM DAILY

WITH WILLIE

K

Come Early to Get a Good Seat!

Doors open at 8pm Dinner & Pupus available from Horhitos Mexican Cantina (try our “Sweetheart Platter”)

$20 Cover includes: • Champagne Toast • Party Favors • Balloon Drop KAPALUA 669-6286 • KIHEI 879-0004 THE SHOPS AT KAPALUA

26

DECEMBER 12, 2002

THE GRID

NEAR FOODLAND

41 E. Lipoa St. Kihei • For more info call 879-9001

LIFE’S A BEACH

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

thursday12/12

friday12/13

saturday12/14

sunday12/15

Vince Esquire & Crossfire, No cover

Sun Kings, No cover

Les Potts & Wave Warriors, No cover

Karaoke - Oliver & Co., No cover

LONGHI’S

Mon - Open Mic, No cover; Tue - Joe Benedett, No cover; Wed - The Crunch Pups Acoustic, No cover, 8pm

Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

D.U.H., No cover

Jonah Livin Band, No cover, 6pm Island Style Fri., No cover, 9pm

DJ Boomshot, No cover, 9pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

Thirsty Thursday w/DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Freakin’ Hot Fridays w/DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Skankin’Saturday w/DJ Big Daddy, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Dave Daley Benefit, w/Dina Burton & Skillet, $10, 8pm

MAUI BREWS

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7794

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

monday12/16 – wednesday12/18

Industry Night w/DJ Boomshot, Mon - Marty Dread, $5, 9:30pm; Tue - DJ Boomshot, $3, 9pm; Wed - DJ Jammin J, $5, 9pm No cover Rock ‘n Roll Sunday w/DJ Curty, No cover, 9pm

Murray Thorne, No cover, 8pm The Afrodisiacs, no cover before 9pm, show starts @10pm Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Mon - Margarita Monday w/DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm; Tue - DJ Mackie Mac, $5, 8:30pm; Wed - Wild & Wicked Wednesday w/DJ Naughty Mac, No cover, 9pm

Celtic Tigers, No cover, 6pm Tue - Open Mic Night w/Whiteboy Johnnie, No cover, 9pm; Wed - Karaoke with Toby, No Guest DJ, No cover, 10pm cover, 9pm

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

LIVE MUSIC & DANCING WED–THRU–SAT FREE POOL HAPPY HOUR DAILY 2PM TO 6PM & 10PM–1:30AM 2PM TO 6PM $2 (16OZ) DRAFT • $2 WELL 00

50

WITH PURCHASE

2411 S. Kihei Rd.

• 879–0602 With this ad - buy one entree & get a 2nd entree of equal or lesser value at 1/2 price.

first & still best sports bar on maui • 4 Satellite dishes & 17 tv’s

g i l a l n ’ u s M

MAUI PIZZA CAFE

ON THE BLUE

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

MAUI’S ONLY IRISH PUB DAVE DALEY BENEFIT CONCERT Dina Burton & Skillet D o o r s o p e n a t 7 PM - $ 1 0 C O V E R M U R R A Y T H O R N E 8 P M NO C O V E R

S A T U R D A Y , D E C . 14

TH

10 PM

The Afrodisiacs

B A C K BY POPULAR DEMAND !

No cover before 9pm or with dinner

SUNDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY

eine!

Grab-A-H $2 Heinekens

Thurs. thru thruSat. Sat. 9-11pm 9-11pm Thurs.

2

$

THURS 9pm 12/12

OPEN MIC NIGHT

with Mike of the Piston Pushers NO COVER

FRI 9:30pm 12/13

Anesthesia

C E L T I C T I G E R S 7 PM - 1 0 PM Followed by DJ Sundance Kid OPEN MIC NIGHT w i t h W h i t e b o y J o h n n y 8 P M NO C O V E R K A R A O K E w i t h T o b y 9 P M NO C O V E R

Irish Band

$2 COVER

THE KARAOKE NO COVER

891-2200

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea. 1 left after Kea Lani Hotel • 874–1131

UPSTAIRS IN THE RAINBOW MALL

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

WILLIE K AND THE MAUI TRIBE 2-5pm

D.U.H. 10pm

Mistress Linda O.

ST

NEWS

Thursday, December 12th

Saturday, December 14th

SAT 9pm 12/14

BOOK YOUR CHRISTMAS PARTY NOW AND GET FREE BAND AND HAPPY HOUR PRICES!

LETTERS

LIVE MUSIC!

FILM

2439 SOUTH KIHEI ROAD

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

SAFEGUARD OUR OCEANS!

™

(808) 661-3111 On the Water at 889 Front Street Lahaina, Maui

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

27

thursday12/12

friday12/13

saturday12/14

sunday12/15

Karaoke

Hawaiian By Nature

Latin Night

Karaoke, No cover, 9pm

SANSEI

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

SANSEI

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Harris Moku & Friends, No cover, 9pm

El Nino, No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Company, No cover, 9pm

The Skillet, No cover, 9pm

Atomic Blue, No cover, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

RAMON’S

2102 Vineyard, Wailuku - 244-7243

115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286

Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

www.mauitime.com www.mauitime.com www.mauitime.com www.mauitime.com www.mauitime.com

monday12/16 – wednesday12/18 Mon - Karaoke; Tue - Karaoke; Wed - Karaoke, No cover, 9pm

W - Joe Benedett, No cover, 9pm

Custom Tattoos

Body Piercing 10-10 Tues-Sat, 10-6 Mon, Closed Sun

www.atomictattoomaui.com

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

40

$

BAND ADS • EASY • AFFORDABLE • EFFECTIVE

FOR INFO CALL 661-3786

Happy Holidays!

HRC MAUI 9 0 0 F R O N T S T R E E T, L A H A I N A INFO: 8086677400 DECEMBER 13

THE RAKES & KANEKOA DECEMBER 21

CHARLIE LONGHI & GEORGIAN XMAS SHOW h a r d r o c k . c o m

28

DECEMBER 12, 2002

THE GRID

NO COVER

DECEMBER 14

NO COVER

DJ JAMMIN J & GUEST DJ KEALA KENNELLY -PRO SURFER & STAR OF BLUE CRUSH 9PM-CLOSE

NO COVER

BILLABONG NIGHT FEATURING

from all of us

visit us online at www.mauitimepersonals.com TO BECOME A MEMBER, CALL

TO LISTEN AND RESPOND TO ADS USING YOUR CREDIT CARD OR A CHECK, CALL

1-800-710-8735

1-800-721-0152

WOMEN Seeking Men IT’S ABOUT TIME Seeking refined gentleman of secure means. Must be good-natured, reasonable, and intelligent for a LTR. 837798

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CREATE BEAUTY SWF, 5’4”, slim, very physically fit, pretty, Cancer, desires to with a SWM partner who mirrors my spiritual path. Spirit within more important. Become more loving in every way. 50-58? 866932

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@WWW - BEAUTIFULDANCER Health conscious, affectionate, confident SWF, 20, loves sports, cooking, reading, writing. Seeking romantic, sincere SM, 2232, for whatever comes naturally. 865676

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HAPPY TOGETHER Fit and full of life, beach bunny, 38, 5’6”, 125lbs, blonde/brown, enjoys windsurfing.

Seeking compatible adventurous man, 5’6”+, to share all that life has to offer!

713776

☎

ADVENTURE AND AFFECTION Blonde, physically fit SWF, 49, seeks witty, unselfish, loyal, physically fit, younger man, for adventure, friendship, LTR. 861078

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NEEDS A BUDDY Active, fun SWF, 22, enjoys scuba diving, adventure, swimming. Seeking SM, 21-29, to hang out with, hike with, drink with, develop a friendship with, and possibly more.

584061

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LOVE FOR THE OCEAN Self-employed Hawaiian and Mayan male, 47, long hair, loves surfing, the beach.

Seeking local Wahine, 35-50, race open, for casual relationship, friendship, etc. 474572 I KNOW YOUR OUT THERE Friendly SWM, 44, seeks love and friendship. Asian or Islander girl, petite, athletic or average. Must love life and love to smile.

669779 @WWW - NKDSRFR SM, 42, former science teacher, likes dining out, sporting events, movies. Seeking SF, 38-48, with similar interests, for possible LTR. 780002 HAWAIIAN STYLE 36-year-old (young-looking) enjoys clubs, bars, nice restaurants, and anything else fun with a female friend. Let’s talk and maybe hang out! Kihei. 869776 LOOKING FOR YOU SHM, 36, enjoys reading, movies, quiet evenings at home, sports, boating. Seeking sincere, nice female for friendship and more. 502222 LET’S ENJOY MAUI SWM, 35 likes wind surfing, tennis, photography, cooking, music, movies, picnics, dancing, anything on the beach. Seeking SF with similar interests to enjoy Maui with.

601414 EASYGOING SM, 18, likes sports, music, travel, dining out, movies. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possibly more.

504597

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PLEASE BREAK THE SHELL This self-reliant SWM, 28, student, sure to make you laugh, would be extremely happy to find a SF. 883386 HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL SM enjoys outdoor activities and dining out.

Seeking healthy SF to casually date, possible LTR. 864595 MAUI MAN SEEKS....

Spiritual journey with another dear heart who is playful and alive, intimate and safe, spontaneous and free-spirited, relaxed and joyful, passionate and honest. Seeking someone who understands. 709828 TRAVEL AND ADVENTURE W. Maui SWM fit and good-looking. Who is gainfully self-employed, seeks cute, trim and sexy W. Side SWF, 30-35. 464397 FAIRLY GOOD-LOOKING Slender, physically fit SWM, 49, 5’10”, 165lbs, Gemini, N/S, seeks AF, 39-49, N/S. Enjoys snorkeling. 833564 SEEKING PLUS-SIZED SWM, 46, 5’7”, Aries, smoker, seeks full-figured woman, 25-35. Would love to meet you. 832335 WE’RE BETTER TOGETHER! SM, 48, 6’, 190lbs, slim, athletic, originally from Texas, wants to make a new friend to share dinners, movies, and Hawaii living together! 795879 I WANT TO LOVE YOU Puerto Rican/Jamaican gent, 32, musician is looking for a charming lady, to hold and to cuddle. 779347 BEEN THERE DONE THAT... and wants to do it over again. Fun-loving, active, talented man, 22, 6’1”, enjoys nature, kayaking, music. Seeking Christian SF, with similar passions to enjoy them with.

Musician A+! 707613 DO YOU ENJOY LIFE? SWM, 24, Sagittarius, smoker, loves life, adventures. Seeking mature woman, 18-31, for some good times, serious relationship.

478539 SEA AIR AND SUN Multi-racial SM, 31, long hair and tattoos, employed, energetic, loves body surfing, boogie board, beach walks or mountain hikes. Seeking fun lady up for some adventure. 747853 YOU AND ME SWM, 40, loves fishing, surfing, the beach, hiking, camping. Seeking a woman for fun times. 735976 IT’S YOU & ME BECOMING WE Me: 5’5”, 150lbs, hobbies include lifting weights, watching tv, fishing, beaches, relaxation. You: fit, into similar activities, 2130, ready for friendship and maybe more.

723363 I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD Shy, young, fun SWM, 23, open-minded and well-rounded. Seeking SF, 18-42, who’s compatible and ready to have a blast with me!

Ready for a new perspective? 721552 ROMANTIC DAYS & NIGHTS Hawaiian and Chinese male, 36, likes outdoor sports, romance, beaches, cuddling, sunset walks. Seeking outgoing lady, 25-40, for casual dating. 701884 SEEKING MY FIRST MATE Fit, tan SWM, 32, dark hair/eyes, loves sailing. If you’re a SB/AF, 22-40, interested in living life on the edge, beautiful sunsets on the water, give me a call. 697900

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Meet more great people online. Log on to

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1-900-226-0169 Call costs $1.99/min. Must be 18+.

When you see the '@WWW' symbol, it means you can get more information about this advertiser online at www.MauiTimePersonals.com Headline indicates online screen name!

MEN Seeking Women

© 2002 TPI GROUP

☎

LULLABY Petite, local SAF, 44, mother, enjoys sailing, shopping, dancing, and more. Seeking financially secure, similar SWM, 35-45, with similar interests, for casual dating. Smokers and non-smokers welcome. (She’s a smoker.) 857744 SEEKS A SPECIAL MAN Educated, slim, fit SF, 32, hardworking and adventurous, seeks SBM, who is honest and intelligent, creative and trustworthy, with gentle spirit and warm heart, for friendship first, possible life mate. 844170 STILL PRETTY AT 55 Cap./Sag., 5’7”, fit, brunette, healthy, adventurous, sensual, romantic, classy, spiritual, Italian woman, emotionally and financially stable. Looking for her complementary prince charming. 708749 ALL THIS AND MORE Sweet, gorgeous SF, 48, N/D, N/S, D/Dfree, looking for handsome, hardworking, ambitious Christian man, N/S, who enjoys concerts, dining out, walks, romance, for friendship, fun and LTR. 745040 EXOTIC BEAUTY Honest SF, 43, giving, romantic, spiritual, caring, fun, likes lahaina, nature, fishing, camping, travel, fine dining, dancing, good conversation and culture. Seeking SM, 3959, with similar qualities. 611337 BRAINS BEAUTY CULTURE Well traveled, professional, educated, intelligent SCPF, 38, N/S, seeks athletic, health conscious, “white collar”, professional SPCM, 30’s, enjoys stimulating conversations, walks, arts, culture, tennis, dancing, movies, fine dining, humor. 669770

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS, CALL

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HAPPINESS SAM, 36, loves dining out, movies, time with a special lady who has a vibrant personality and who loves the outdoors. 688812 LET’S GO OUT Beach sunsets, movies, etc. Long-haired, self-employed, 35-year-old SAM (5’8”, 170lbs). Looking for honesty. Must have a heart and a sense of humor. A lady any race, 18-40. 668943 THE BEACH & GOLF? How about visiting state parks? or kayaking? Hawaii is beautiful! SWM, 39, would like a lady who loves to swim in the ocean and enjoy the bright sun. 669687 NATURAL RELATIONSHIP SWM, 50, enjoys world music, the ocean.

Seeking spiritual, comfortable, relaxed AF, 34-51, good personality. 666310 LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL Romantic, Italian, surfer boy, SWM, 38, Taurus, smoker, enjoys the beach, surfing, dinners, playing drums, making surf boards.

Seeking woman, 21-50, for dating and future relationship. 467400 BALL’S IN YOUR COURT SBM, 43, Libra, N/S, loves tennis. Seeking a romantic woman, 25-40, N/S, to swing with. 630873 ESCAPE WITH ME Fun, good-natured, adventurous, playful SBM, 43, 5’10”, 170lbs, goatee, looking for a lady, interested in travel, friendship, dining, romantic nights and lasting relationship.

Be my partner in crime. 618040 SEEKS A ROSE Outgoing, caring SM, 26, fun and happy, enjoys quality times with family and a special woman. If you are honest, fun-loving and open, then your the lady for me.Call!

612561 BE MY LADY Honest, loving SBM, 31, attractive, hardworking and fun-loving, seeks a special lady, intelligent and attractive, to enjoy life with, friendship first. 612928 DOWN-TO-EARTH Attractive SA/WM, 43, looking to meet attractive, independent, adventurous lady, 18-50, for fun, friendship, dating. 442624 MY HEARTS DESIRE Clean, wholesome SWM, 46, Pisces, nonsmoker, therapist, seeks pretty WF, 35-47, with inner-peace, non-smoker, to grow with each other. 536194 LOVE MY LIFE...

DWM, 55, business owner, no children, loves classic cars, rock-n-roll music, hiking, camping, golf, scuba diving, kicking back.

Seeking SAF, who is passionate about music, for casual to permanent relationship.

442907 NEW MAN ON MAUI SBM, 43, who’s fit, ready to explore, be free, willing to share in life, take chances, and just plain have fun. Life makes no promises/grantees. It’s all on you. 497674 PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS SWM, 39, 6’1”, brown hair, N/S, with good sense of humor, enjoys golfing, jogging.

Seeking smart, positive woman, 28-45, to travel to unknown places or shopping at the super market. 476538

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LOST IN PARADISE Easygoing SM, 30, 5’8”, 175lbs, Portuguese-Hawaiian, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks real woman, 18-45, for new friends.

465634 MAKE ME SMILE Athletic, physically fit SWM, 37, 6’1”, 200lbs, Virgo, non-smoker, seeks beautiful, positive SWF, 18-40, to relax with, dine, play sports, and more. 457272 LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT Born and raised on Maui. SWM, 47, Pisces, loves the ocean, camping, fishing, plants.

Seeking honest female, with similar qualities, for serious relationship. 442623 SHARE THE ADVENTURE SWM, 38, 5’10”, 145lbs, brown/brown, N/S, enjoys fishing, diving, boating. Seeking woman, 24-38, who wants to have fun and adventure, for compatible and nurturing relationship. 439907 SCUBA SWM, 36, N/S, seeks SWF, 21-38, N/S, who likes the water, the outdoors, scuba diving. 431575 MISSING SPECIAL PERSON Happy, hard-working SWM, 37, 6’4”, 220lbs, Pisces, non-smoker, enjoys outdoors, boating, fishing, scuba diving, tennis, golf. Seeking woman, 30-40, non-smoker, for LTR. 423935 CREATIVE ISLAND SPIRIT Healthy, slim, fair British SWM, 49, 6’, Pisces, non-smoker, enjoys landscaping, the Island life, nature, theater, arts, singing, music, hiking. Seeking woman, 28-48, for LTR. 422500 GOT FINS? Hello Maui mermaids! Having a wonderful life, wish you were here! Is there a real person out there who can surf, ski, dive, eat fish, lobster? We can have correspondence.

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Men Seeking Men

MEN Seeking Men

LOOK ME UP SM, 29, 5’11”, 175lbs, looking to share good times with a nice, fun, attractive SM, who wants just a little more then a casual date. 619425 LET’S GET TOGETHER SWM, 45, D/D-free, enjoys movies, dining, time with a special man. If you are fun, happy, clean and affectionate, call.

844456 DON’T WAIT, CALL The phone lines are open! You can call anytime for this one time offer. SWM, 35, seeks older man, 50-68, for dating, laughter, friendship and more. 572694 WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO Male, 47, 6’, 185lbs, Hawaiian/Chinese, Cancer, smoker, seeks slender man, 20-50, to see how things go. 535956 SAN FRAN TRANSPLANT Male, 39, Scorpio, smoker, homeowner, seeks WM, 25-35. Enjoys dining out, cooking, the ocean, swimming. 418038 SEEKING WM Male, 20, 5’8”, 158lbs, brown hair/eyes, likes hiking, outdoor, traveling, movies.

Seeking WM, who has the same interests.

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For customer service call 1-800-252-0920 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com

ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: The Maui Time Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place. Abbreviations are permitted only to indicate gender preference, race, and religion. We suggest your ad contain a self-description, age range, lifestyle and avocations. Ads and voice messages containing explicit sexual language will not be accepted. This publication reserves the right to revise copy containing objectionable phrases; to reject in its sole discretion, any advertisement on account of its text. This publication assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any Maui Time Personals ad. The advertiser assumes complete liability for the content and all replies to any advertisement or recorded message and for any claims made against this publication and its agents as a result thereof. The advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold this publication, its employees and its agents harmless from all costs, expenses (including reasonable attorney fees), liabilities and damages result The Maui Time Personals agrees not to leave his/her phone number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

29

KOZMICBREEZE

BY KOZMIC KEV

ARIES: You’re on target this week. Nothing will breakdown or get in your way.

Communication issues will cause you to be vigilant. Finances are on the rebound. You’re in a place where you'll sell everything you have to gain a pearl of great value.

TAURUS: Take lots of baths or showers. Change your clothes often. Allow yourself to feel as many moods as necessary to overcome the doldrums.

The weekend highlights a moon in Taurus. Your calm exterior wins over the type "A" interior.

GEMINI: Whether you’re schoolmates or soul mates, learn the value of commitment. Greater love has none than the one that lays down their life for a friend. You may have to read the riot act first. In the end compassion wins.

CANCER: Look before you leap. Otherwise, you may end up doing things twice. There's a miracle in your mouth. Compliments will get you everywhere. You style yourself as everyone’s favorite artist, mother, and risk taker rolled into one.

LEO: You’re an expert on stirring up heart rendering drama and telling a tall tale. Your charismatic nature has got your admirers coming back for more. As long as the playfulness is mutual you have nothing to fear. Let go and enjoy.

VIRGO: It's that pregnant at home, cooped up, and cabin fever syndrome that drives mainlanders mad. Finding strength in family and elders is where it's at. A smart Virgo who’s ready to get their hands dirty will capitalize one person’s limitations into cash.

LIBRA: Whatever it is you do, you'll do it with style. Your resources seem almost endless at this point. You're very much in the mood for creature comforts. Find a form of art that is environmentally friendly. Share your poetry with a close friend.

SCORPIO: Material blessings flow more freely as you learn to give more freely. Let people know what your talents are. Creative works are associated with you. Find the "Claude Monet" and the "Georgia O' Keefe" within.

Combine passion with beauty.

SAGITTARIUS: Learn to savor the moment.

You're full of transformational knowledge. Life is on a plane of wide-open newness. Your popularity is up while your creative potential is yet to be reckoned with. Find a place of natural beauty that you never have been to before.

CAPRICORN: Be okay with the current set of limitations that are at work. Your thoughts and communiqués are having a bigger impact.

You’re on your way to being a trendsetter. Pay attention to your spiritual life. What you do now will carry on like ripples in a pond.

AQUARIUS: Your eccentricities are exaggerated this week. You're looking for love with bold strokes, binoculars and skyrockets. Your freedom to move in and out of relationships could later have social consequences. Be sensitive to other people’s attachments.

PISCES: It's unusual that you would opt for a leadership position. People are noticing your talents. At parties you seem to have people’s attention. You'll be manifesting the things you really need. As you give to charity your wealth becomes a shared value.

I'd love to hear from my Maui readers, e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

30

DECEMBER 12, 2002

CLASSIFIED

AUTOMOTIVE CARS - LESS THAN $5000 1992 Honda Accord LX 4 dr, auto, A/C, power, stereo/CD, excellent condition. $4900. 874-0609 1996 Cutlas Supreme- Green, all leather, CD, no rust, power everything, moon & sun roof. NEED TO SELL $3800 250-0437 1988 Jeep Wrangler- white, new clutch, master cylinder, tires starter, alternator belt, radiator, bikini top. $1500 250-0437 1996 Toyota Corolla DX 5 spd., 4dr., 95K, A/C, Runs great. $4500 OBO. 250-8967 1989 Toyota Tercel $500 OBO. Engine needs work, no rust, A/C, new CD player/speakers. Call 283-7666 1989 Subaru Wagon with a broken timing belt. OBO 283-1032 Early Model Bronco trans. & transfer case $250. 661-8618 350 C. Engine Chevy block rebuilt engine 4 bolt main/mild cam $1,900 661-8618

24’ Fiber Foam Cabin Cruiser Fly Electric Reclining Wheelchair 10 yrs. bridge, fully refurbished inside, engine old good cond. $600 Call 280-0733 redone, bathroom, VHF, stereo/cd, $15,000 OBO 661-1919 MARINE Scuba Gear Blowout! Seaquest 1989 Sportster HARLEY DAVIDSON , Sportster, bored out engine, 12” ape Isoflex woman’s 6.5.4 size 7-8 or hangers, stretch tank fenders, custom men’s 6.5.4 size L, were $320, now rims, 3 gtr drag custom paint. Must $175. Scubapro Classic BCD Size S was $525 now $295. Used Scubapro Sell., $10,000 OBO, 661-1919 Classic BCD XS $95. 283-8633.

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL SARA AT

661-3786 SHIFT RIGHT TRANSMISSIONS

1974 Bronco 302 C.I., A.T., P.S., body good shape/runs $3,000 OBO 6618618 1962 Triumph convertible, restoration project. V8-A.T. $300. OBO 6618618 1957 MGA convertible, restoration project $500. OBO 661-8618 1965 Corvair Convertible. 3L. Running time on rebuilt mtr. *needs bodywork & new top int. clean. $1,200 OBO 661-8618.

1973 Porsche 911-T Running/needs work/rebuilt engine. $3,500 OBO 6618618 1986 Dodge Caravan-Parting outmake offer (no tranny) Call 280-0733

CARS - MORE THAN $5000

1999 Mercury Sable GS auto, A/C, CD, 23,000 miles, excellent cond., $9,900 OBO. Leaving Island 280-3980

TRUCKS, MOTORCYCLES, RVS

1997 Honda Magna- $3,250, 19 K miles, new battery, helmet, tires. 6693703 1972 Glastron 21’ Boat 4.3 L engine Volvo 290 Leg D.P. engine needs work $3,500 661-8618

Beyond Marketing Setting your intention: How to Market & build your Healing Arts practice. Take your work to a higher level. Learn innovative & practical tools to distinguish yourself in a highly competitive market.

Devolop clarity & focus by designing a Moving Sale Windsurf:(1) F2 8’6’ personal marketing plan. Mon. classboard $100, like new (1)Quatro 8’0 es held @ Beyond Heaven, 7-8:30pm. $800, (1)1-man ocean kayak+paddle $10 fee. Private sessions avail. Call to reg. 573-1929. Christina Fisher $300. 579-6458 Mentoring Services Scuba Gear Blowout!

Datamax Pro air-integrated was $599 now $295.

Dataplus2 Nitrox computer now $325. 283-8633

Oceanic computer Oceanic was $599

SPORTS EQUIPMENT Roping Saddle good cond. $350.

Antique tree saddle/ only for display purposes $25. 248-7725

MauiTime Readers Love to Improve Their Lifestyles!

Marcy Exercise Station $200. OBO 661-8618

Get More People In Your Class Today…

Buy An Ad in the Classifieds!

MUSIC EQUIPMENT TAKAMINE classic/electric EC-132 C guitar $395. RANDALL RK100 100W Amp. $175. Call 661-6793

1974 Chevy Blazer 4x4 A.T., P.S. Cruiser $1,100 OBO 661-8618

FOREIGN/DOMESTIC AUTO/STANDARD CALL FOR QUOTES 244-8909 775 LOWER MAIN WAILUKU

Ortho-bionomy classes Mon eves 6:30-9:30, on going series of 6/wk classes. $200 ea series/$35 per class.Improve your lifestyle by getting out of pain, learn skills to improve your posture, walk freer & enjoy longevity. Zoee Crowley, Advanced Instructor & Practitioner with 25 yrs exp., teaches on 5 continents. Call 242-9162 reg & directions.

Fender Strat Sunburst w/tortoise shell pick guard, 1 yr. old w/case and lock strap, paid $1100, $750/OBO. Fender Bassman 60, paid $250, $150/OBO. Casey 205-3843

Moving Sale Marshall amp V565R 150W like new $350, Fender amp BUY & SELL BXR 45W like new $80, Hohner Bass B2A Steinberger model $275.

BICYLES BMX Bike, Mosh Dirt Jumper, must 579-6458 sell, red, 3 piece cranks, 14 mm hubs, Yamaha Stage Custom drum set, $350, 283-0512 8”,10”,12”,14”,16” tom tom w/hardFURNITURE ware & tuxedo bags. Call Eugenio @ Misc. Furniture for sale 6’ long L- 280-0278 shaped computer desk/formica/cloth, CLASSES & nice, could be receptionist desk. $350. Rattan chair/stool $50. Teak INSTRUCTION frame loveseat aqua vinyl cushion, 2 matching chairs, need new cushion Dance classes for children and covers. $150.1960’s four strand rattan adults all levels now at Maui Fitness davenport & 2 matching chairs.

Plus in Kihei. Teus-Sat. Hip-Hop, Excellent cond. good cushion covers. pilates, Latin Beat cardio, belly dance $1,200. 3 misc. dining chairs matching covers of davenport $15. ea. 9 & more w/ Nicole. Call 879-5588 for drawer long chest $40. 6 drawer short info. chest $30. 248-7725 Lahaina Arts Society-”The Power Moving Sale Teak dining table(48” of Art”, children’s exhibit. In the round+24” leaf) $200, (4)Windsor Old Jail Gallery located in the courtchairs $100, orthopedic twin bed+hdbd. house building, under the Banyan like new $150, more. 579-6458 Tree in Lahaina at 649 Wharf St. Year-round classes offered at no JEWELRY Wedding / Engagement two ring charge to children of all ages. set, ladies size 6 1/2. Setting has Display open 9am-5pm. seven diamonds, main diamond is 1/4 karat. Classic, delicate design. Wellness Groups for Changing Appraised at $1000, asking $650. Times in Kihei by donation 874-6441 669-3866 West Maui.

Mon. eve:Relaxercise- guided facilitation of slow, easy movements that MISC. increase range of motion and release NIKON CAMERA, Nikomat blk. body habitual holding patterns in your body. w/Nikkor 50mm lens + Nikkor 80/200mm zoom lens $390. Call661- Tues. eve:Women’s Group- for women who are committed to high 6793 level self-exploration & accelerated Compressor Upright 220V. 60 gallon personal/spiritual growth. tank $200. 661-8618 Thur. eve:Growth Group- for those Compressor Portable wheel barrow who are committed to discovering & type (new) Honda engine $600. 661- transforming self-limiting beliefs & defense mechanisms that feed into 8618 keeping you stuck.

Steam Cleaner $100. 661-8618 Sun. eve:Study Group-study the esoNew Astralite Lumina III Deluxe teric teachings of Alice Bailey & the Tibetan Master DK. table $735 Call 280-0733

EMPLOYMENT Paradise Spice Maui’s Adult Super Store secretary/office position. Immediate opening. Apply in person. 101-B L. Main St. Wailuku Honolua Surf Company Maui’s premiere, active lifestyle retailer is currently looking for talented people with outstanding customer service skills for all levels of retail employment. We offer: Competitive salary, benefits, discounts & a fun atmosphere. Pick up apps. at any store locations.

Whalers Village, Lahaina Cannery Mall, Front St., Kihei, Honolua Keiki & Honolua Wahine @ Whalers Village.

Whaler’s Realty Inc. is now accepting confidential applications for sales staff to join our crew of professionals. Contact our Office Manager, Lisa Montarti, by email at office@whalersrealty.com or by phone at 808-661-8777 Surfing Coach Nancy Emerson School of Surfing is looking for a surfing coach in Lahaina, starting P/T and possible F/T in future.

Minimum of ten years surfing experience, need to be able to surf long and short board with excellent form. Must have own car and insurance for movement of equipt. maui res. at least one year. References important! Please Email Nancy at nancy@surfclinics.com or fax resume to 011-617-5590-7789 or on maui at fax 877-4922 attn.

Nancy Emerson Writers Wanted! Maui Time is looking for a few good freelance writers.

Send your resume and samples to 658 Front St. #126Å-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761.

Business Opportunity Looking for a simple way to save 21%-50% on groceries each month with a pre-paid cash card? Call 1-800-350-9040 @ www.lono.grocerybiz.net

Find your key players with MauiTime Weekly’s Classified Employment Section

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MUSICIANS WANTED

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Kirtan with Bhagavan Das, Dec. 28, 7:30pm, $15.

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MASSAGES • FACIALS • AYURVEDA

$50 Ka’maina Massage (until Dec. 15)

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DINING

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mixed paper, & cardboard. Home

American Cancer Society’s Great American Smokeout 9am-12pm, at Kaiser Permanente Wailuku Clinic.

Join others across the country pledging to throw away their cigarettes for at least 1 day. Stop by for Smokeout information, Quit Kits for the serious quitter, play “Know Out Smoking” and more! Call 243-6483 for more info.

Free Mammograms and pap screens to women aged 40-49 yrs who qualify.

Call Community Clinic of Maui and speak with Kathi Jones at 872-4025.

Call today, don’t wait. Take care of yourself.

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Oral/HIV Testing/Counseling Clinic@ Pukalani Community Center 911am; Paia Hawaiian Protestant Church 1-3:30pm; Wailuku Health Center 8-11:30am & 13:30pm;Lahaina Compehensive Health Center 9am-1:30pm. Results returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call Takako 984-2129

DAY&NIGHT

VOLUNTEERS WANTED AARP Tax-Aide service seeks volunteers AArp Tax-Aide, the nation’s largest, free, volunteer-run tax preparation service is seeking volunteers of all ages who want to learn tax law and help prepare federal & state returns for their fellow citizens. Free training w/ Internal Revenue Service course will be provided in Jan. For more info on how to join, call Dorothy Hew @ 572-8633

Pickup; a convenience for $15/mo! Bi-

Looking for Deep Tissue Massage Therapist in Kihei Chiro office to share rent, must have own clients. Call Daniel @ 280-0733

Vidal Sasson Trained Stylist, London, California Life Changing Talk Non Ammonia Hair Care Stop Breathing Toxic Indoor Air Permanent Hair Care Breathe clean pure sanitized air in Botanical Hair Care your home or office. Advanced techFrom France and Italy nology Living Air Purifiers elimate Call 573-8828 Dust, Odors, Mold, Chemical Gases, Smoke and Cane Fall-out. Used in the MASSAGE Pentagon and many other prestigious Amico’s Massage Therapy locals. FREE 3 DAY TRIAL. One unit “Friendly, Professional & Affordable” does Whole House or Business! Call

By Eugenio Amico MAT 5582 Suni 874-5676. Discover how breathemail: eugenioamico@usa.net ing Clean Indoor Air can assist healing Islandwide outcall until midnight “Personalized sessions to fit your on ALL levels-Spiritual, Emotional, needs from deep massage to light Physical & Financial. Dec 3 6:45pm energy work” sharp. Must RSVP space limited Day spa avail. w/sauna & jacuzzi Double-Bookings ~ Save $10 Psychic Readings Couples Massage Lessons, Spiritual Consultant Weddings, Birthdays, & Love, Marriage, Business Bachelorette Parties Readings by phone. Call Rose 707Gift Certificates Available 575-4989. Visa/MC/Amex.

280-0278

SURF

SERVICES

Maui Recycling Service Picks up all

MISCELLANEOUS

ADULT SERVICES

www.wailuku- Paradise Spice... Maui’s gay headquarters, huge selection of videos, toys & magazines. 249-2449

Pop •Jazz •Swing •Rhythm & Blues LESSONS & BOOKINGS Sing Your Heart Out Workshops Weekly

NOTICES

Beyond Heaven Hair

COVER STORY

573-1920

World Class Vocalist & Pianist Solo or Band

s Kundalini Yoga y as taught by Yogi Bhajan Your Immune System t Boost All Levels Welcome class Wednesday y New 4:15pm at the MACC, t Omari A Room in Kahului Walk-Ins Welcome $12 y 573-8828 t or beyondheaven.com

@ @ @

Jason Meyer

Louise Lambert

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@ at Beyond Heaven

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

Art of Tantra- Experience Tantra with a Beautiful Goddess. Healing and sexy bodywork. You’ll love it. 573Drummer seeking new or working Land Swap Wanted Looking to swap 3406. bands. Call Al @ 891-0589 or cell. 907an acre of ground in outerbanks Totally relax and let go. Come and 250-4452 Hatteras, North Carolina or 3/4 Acre in experience my healing touch.

Versatile Pro Drummer, acoustic and Costa Rica. Great Surf Spots! Looking Rejuvenating and pleasurable. 268midi, available for gigs and recordings.

9783 for similar Maui property. Call John at Call JJ at 572-9270.

Magdalene’s Garden Specializing in 575-9695 ARTS the Art of Sacred Sexuality. Erotic A concert of Meditative Music with dance performances, sensual masTODAY’S the Day...

Call 007 Shastro & Nadama, Dec.22, 7:30pm, sage, sexual healing. Education & $12. Bring a pillow to sit on & a will to $470,000 buys this OCVU 4B/ 3B Instruction for young adults. 250-2979 enter into a state of meditative peace. home. View Maui Real Esate at Sculpt-U Bodyworks A deeply Maui Yoga Shala, 120 Hana Hwy, 2nd www.sylviacabral.com relaxing hour of exquisite bodyfloor, Paia. 579-6257 work MUSICIAN SERVICES Free information on appliance repair 250-4817 Rehersal/Recording studio 4 hrs. free rehersal time to the first 5 bands. Call or purchase. 100% gauranteed Ross Sensual Sessions... An exquisite Al @ 891-0589 or cell. 907-250-4452 appliance & furniture. 395 Dairy Rd. hour of sensual bodywork by a very playful, sexy, Maui Goddess... outcalls #M Kahului, HI. 877-5655/For available. 280-0617 Emergency Repair 298-1795

Take a vacation from your mind, Take a journey to your soul, Travel back to yourself....

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

NEWS

or

house.com

MUSICIANS AVAILABLE

connierose@soulspamaui.com

LETTERS

877-986-8270

All original heavy rock band seeks vocalist. Quito(Keith) 281-1682

808-669-3768

Learn to meditate- Meditation on The Divine Inner Light and Sound as a way to lasting Peace and Joy and actual God (love) Realization.Tues, 7pm, Kihei. Call 879-0871

great deal. 573-7589

Maui Lawn Works

Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse

MUSIC & ARTS

Transformational Breath Reiki • Intuitive Guidance

Massage/Bodywork w/ Micheal Ahearn specializing in therapeutic, deep tissue, injury rehab or relaxation!

Delivered to your door. $65 an hr.

250-0369 MAT2221. 19 yrs exp. Gift certs. avail.

extra shower, W/D. Lower Pukalani,

Massage Therapy w/Dan Fowler VACATION RENTALS MAT 2765 now available in Wailuku, Kihei and Haiku $70 or sliding scale. Hana Maui Botanical Gardens- On Specializing in Therapeutic Lomilomi, the way to Blue Pools. Self guided Deep Tissue and Injury rehabilitation. walking tour. Open 9-5 $3/person.

Call 280-0733 248-7725. Vacation Rental Available.

Haiku Massage $40/hr mornings only In a quiet & Member Hawaii EcoTourism Assoc. professional setting, helping others www.ecoclub.com/hanamaui for 15 yrs. Strong sensitive hands.

From relaxing to specific deep tissue work.

Roger Engel 283-8410 Clean, Affordable accomodations in our vaction rental from $49 per day.

MAT#4863

S oul S pa

THE MAUI MUSE Esoteric bodyworker: healing kundalini, nutrition & life skills to help you achieve happiness through integration of body, mind & spirit. Top refs. 573-1337

$525+deposit, util. included, 3br/1ba,

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Build the best team you can!

UR

Certificate

Roommate Wanted- avail. 12/23

y

Enviromental Inc. 500 Company Seeks Mgrs. to intro. advanced technologies in Water & Indoor Air Purification & soon Roof-top Wind Energy Systems. Full training & financing available to qualified partners. Average Sales mgr. monthly income$6000+ after training. P/t-F/t.

Email a must & computer skills helpful. Call Suni 874-5676. Business Briefing: Dec 3 6:45pm sharp. Must RSVP space limited

Massages by supervised students6-9:30pm at MOA Church (by Cupies Drive-in) on Kamehameha Ave., Kahului. $25 or donation. Call Daniel Fowler, MAT#2765 at 280-0733

Treat

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Models Wanted for calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 40. 573-3712

$20 GIFT

CLASSIFIEDS

Bodyworkers Needed Looking for beautiful, playful, reliable, person. Work with a great team. Will train. 579-8825

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

SERVING MAUI’S ADULT SHOPPERS Party-Gag Gifts 20-50 SELECTED VI % OFF New Love Toys, Novelties, Videos & DVD’s Weekly DEOS TOYS, LINGE , DVD’S, Adult Theme Parody T-Shirts as seen on www.headshoptees.com RIE Huge Selection of Adult Magazines Ask About Our Video Trade-in Policy Gift Certificates Available 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku, HI 96793

(808)249-2449

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 12, 2002

31

back side

High visibility! Low Costs! Back Side Classifieds Work! CALL (808) 661-3786 for complete details!

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Less Holiday Stress at Postal Plus Paia 579-8331 Kihei/Wailea 891-8585 Mailbox Rental-Voicemail-Email-Fax

Hiring models for stock projects. $50/hour. Fitness, beauty, lifestyle. All ages. Mail photo: RC Studios, PO Box 1758, Kihei, HI 96753. Just visiting? Call 874-5755. For more info: www.ronchapple.com/model

Female & Male therapists available. Island-wide or at our Haiku location. Dependable, licensed, insurance accepted. MAT #6341 over 20 yeas professional experience. $40/hour. (808) 280-2033

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’

to Maui’s hottest new way to meet singles. See pg.29

42’ Bertram Sportfisher Private or Share Trips 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, & Full Day Charters

introducing Maui Time Personals. A fully interactive mobile dating service that makes meeting single people almost too easy. All you have to do is make a simple phone call. OK, you’re done! The rest is up to us. We take your information and match you up with other singles. And here is the best part, we contact YOU and let you know how many matches you have. Try it and get connected. Join today and

Maui: (808) 667-2774 KONA: (808) 327-1265

TOLL FREE 1-800-590-0133

BODY PIERCING, CUSTOM TATTOOING professionally done by Teri

THE GRID & DA KINE CALENDAR

Just what we need around here.

More beautiful Italian models.

The ultimate guide to supervising your social life.

See page 21. GO AHEAD, look up any event on our new & improved(got times & cover charges), all inclusive, centerfold.

Dance Planet

Air Maui Helicopter Tours 2 for 1 Special!

furniture, clothes, fun stuff. On the corner of Honoapiilani Hwy. & Prison St.Saturday Dec.14

NIGHT CLUB

maui

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2002. For reservations call 877-7005

150 Dairy Road • 808/877-7433

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SOUND FACTORY

SONIC

FLAVA

HIP HOP DJ’S

PARTY with

DJ BLAST ALL AGE NONALCOHOLIC PARTY

Gift Baskets Fruit Baskets For Your Gift Giving Needs Tropical Bouquets or Maui Flowers, Boxed & Ready for Travel.

Delivered on Maui or Shipped World Wide.

808–27 SWEET(277–9338) SweetLifeFruitCo@aol.com

www.mauicarsandbikes.com • Open Daily

$3 DRINKS 41 E. Lipoa St. Kihei • 879-9001

ife Fru it

ALL EDITORIAL AND DA KINE CALENDAR! CLICK AWAY!

Garage Sale!!

Send writing samples and resumes to PO Box 7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or editor@mauitime.com

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Paia’s Dance club. Smoke-free and all ages. A funky, freestyle mix w/ dj Goran. $7.00@door. 9pm-1am Maui Yoga Shala above Jacques in Paia 281-6779 for info.

Freelance Writer

your FREE membership will start today!

1-800-710-8735

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sterile * friendly * experienced Lahaina * Lighthouse 661-4400 Kihei * Sacred center 891-1828

Maui Time Weekly seeks dynamic professionals to join our deadline- driven, fast-paced display and classified advertising sales teams. A two year Associates Degree (AA, AS) or equivalent experience is required. Applicants must be positive, selfmotivated, disciplined, competitive, and have excellent verbal & written communication skills. Excellent earning potential and health insurance included. Please fax resumes to (808)661-0446 Attn: Ad Director or to jeff@mauitime.com.

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ALL NIGHT

WILLIE K OWNS MONDAYS MONDAYS

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