19.35 Who's Conducting The Humpback Symphony?, February 11, 2016, Volume 19, Issue 35, MauiTime

February 11, 2016 ✚ Volume 19 ✚ Issue 35 ✚ FREE

Who’s Conducting the Humpback Symphony?

RETURN OF THE

SUPERFERRY?

PG.5

FOUR NEW LIMU SPECIES

FIFTY SHADES

PG.7

OF BLAH

PG.19

MAUITIME.COM

PLUS

Whale Trust Maui wants to know why humpbacks in the Pacific learn to sing the same song, even when thousands of miles apart PG.10

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FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Contents VOLUME 19 ✚ ISSUE 35

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

ON THE COVER:

What’s your favorite kind of whale?

February 11, 2016 ✚ Volume 19 ✚ Issue 35 ✚ FREE

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Spade Toothed Whale

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Narwhal Advertising Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 283-3260 / sarah@mauitime.com Mosasaurus Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Leviathan Graphic Designer: Jenn Carter Physeteroidea

PLUS

Whale Trust Maui wants to know why humpbacks in the Pacific learn to sing the same song, even when thousands of miles apart PG.10

RETURN OF THE

SUPERFERRY?

4 10 13 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.5

FOUR NEW LIMU SPECIES

FIFTY SHADES

PG.7

OF BLAH

PG.19

Who’s Conducting The Humpback Symphony?

Cover Design By: Darris Hurst Illustration adapted from original work by Gerardo Obieta courtesy Rosaura Ochoa Flickr

MAUITIME.COM

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter False Killer Whale

Who’s Conducting the Humpback Symphony?

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Narwhal Contributors: Jenn Brown (Humpback), Caeriel Crestin, Max Errickson, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Admin Executive: Shannon Kekahuna (808) 244-0777 / shannon@mauitime.com The killer one Proofreader: Dina Wilson

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MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2015 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $110 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

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A. Richard T. Bissen B. Joseph E. Cardoza C. Adrianne N. Heely D. Kelsey Kawano E. Rhonda Loo

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1. On Feb. 5, the state Department of Health announced that there are 66 applicants for a medical marijuana dispensary license, one of which is a famous Maui celebrity, according to Pacific Business News that day. Who is the celebrity applicant?

A. Willie Nelson B. Clint Eastwood

ported that 39 of the 40 highest paid state workers came from a single department. Which one was it?

A. Judiciary B. Business, Economic Development and Tourism C. Education D. Hawaii Health Systems Corp.

E. Hawaii Tourism Authority

See answers, page 29

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

Coconut Wireless PHOTO COURTESY HAWAII SUPERFERRY INC.

well-being of the people of Hawaii.”

Does this mean the Hawaii Superferry is coming back? Probably not anytime soon, because on Feb. 9, the Senate's Transportation and Energy and Water, Land and Agriculture Committees voted to defer the bill. Other ferry bills are still afloat, but SB 3022 is pretty much dead in the water.

WOMEN’S EARNINGS IN HAWAII IMPROVING, BUT AREN’T YET GOOD ENOUGH

Not again!

LEGISLATURE TOYS WITH BRINGING SUPERFERRY BACK

PHOTO COURTESY US BUREAU OF LABOR STATISTICS

And now friends, to paraphrase William Shakespeare, let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of superferries. Not sure if you noticed– it didn’t get a lot of play–but Governor David Ige mentioned the old Hawaii Superferry in his Jan. 25 State of the State Address. It was part of a section labeled “Truthfulness.” And he didn’t mince words: “We, in government, are obligated to be truthful, even when the truth is not easy or popular. When we live without truth, our actions fail to pass the test of time,” Ige said. “Moreover, we tend to repeat our mistakes because we have not learned from them.

“A few years ago, we saw the demise of the SuperFerry. Its failure has been attributed to environmental objections and a hostile court. But that is not exactly what happened. The fact is the state failed to follow the law. When we tried a legal end run, it also failed. The point is the state should have followed the law and done the right thing in the first place.”

If only former Governor Linda Lingle, who was in office at the time of the Hawaii Superferry and vigorously promoted it, even as neighbor island protests and court rulings blasted holes in its hull, had believed in such words. Hell, we might even still have Hawaii Superferry–or something much like it–today.

Then again, the Hawaii Superferry suffered from two major flaws. First, it brazenly ignored the state’s environmental impact laws, which angered environmentalists. Second, it focused on shipping people and their cars, instead of just people, which scared neighbor island locals into thinking that Oahu locals would drive over and crowd their favorite surfing and fishing spots. It was

as though Hawaii Superferry execs went out of their way to design a ferry that people living on Oahu would love, but neighbor island residents would hate.

New legislation percolating in the state Legislature makes all this more than a mere history lesson. Senators and Representatives have introduced numerous ferry bills since late January–some dealing with inter-island as well as intra-island (Oahu) ferries.

One, Senate Bill 3022, even came up for a joint Transportation and Energy/ Water, Land and Agriculture committee hearing on Tuesday, Feb. 9.

SB 3022–introduced by 12 senators, including Maui’s own J. Kalani English, D–East Maui, Lanai, Molokai and Gil Keith-Agaran, D–Kahului, Wailuku, Waihee–straight-up “Requires the Department of Land and Natural Resources to conduct any necessary environmental assessment for the establishment of a[n] intra-state or inter-state ferry system and makes an appropriation,” according to the state Legislature’s website. It also “Provides a non-refundable tax credit and a fifty per cent reduction in harbor fees for the first year of operation for any company operating an inter-island ferry vessel.” Indeed, the bill text itself even calls an inter-island ferry “the missing link in Hawaii’s transportation system, providing critical connections essential for the health, safety, and

So let’s start off with the good news: today the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that the ration of women’s to men’s wage earnings is higher in Hawaii than in any other state in the U.S. “In 2014, Hawaii women who were full-time wage and salary workers had median usual weekly earnings of $739, or 92.8 percent of the $796 median usual weekly earnings for their male counterparts,” the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics posted on Feb. 4. “Regional Commissioner Richard J. Holden noted that the women’s to men’s earnings ratio in Hawaii increased 8.6 percentage points from the

see in Figure 1 below, women’s earnings in Hawaii have skyrocketed since 2011, while those of the nation as a whole have overall been pretty flat.

Great, huh? Yeah, though there’s still plenty of room for improvement. To find out more, I asked Makawao writer Shay Chan Hodges, author of Lean on and Lead, which deals with mothers who work (she and Cathy Betts also wrote an oped in the Feb. 4 Honolulu Star-Advertiser on efforts to enact paid leave in Hawaii).

While emphasizing that the news was indeed good, she also provided this context: First, Hawaii is a strong union state, which means Hawaii has had a good ration of women’s to men’s earnings for a while. This is true because Hawaii has a lot of low-wage, non-professional jobs– “Generally speaking, the lower wage, the smaller the gap,” she said.

Second, in absolute terms, “the wage gap in Hawaii still accounts for $1.4 billion in lost earnings.”

Third, Hawaii has a poor record of getting women into political office. We’re not the worst in the nation, but we’re certainly nowhere near the top. For instance, women

Figure 1

previous year. Nationwide, women earned $719 per week, or 82.5 percent of the $871 median for men.”

This is indeed good news. As you can

Overheard “Ben Franklin at the mall is the coldest spot on Maui.”

-Woman in Wailuku, Feb. 5

only account for eight of the state’s 24 senators (Senator Gil Kahale died recently) and 13 of the state’s 51 representatives.

Lastly, even such a relatively small earnings gap can be bad in Hawaii, where many families require two wages. “When the mother makes eight percent less than she should, depending on the overall income, that’s definitely few thousand dollars that can pay for electricity, rent, a month of childcare, etc.,” she said. “Even if we’re just talking $4,000 or $5,000 a year, that can make a difference for a family that’s barely covering expenses.” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

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News & Views

by Suzanne Kayian & Anthony Pignataro

MauiSphere have this easy access for both visitors and residents flying between the West Coast and Hawaii,” Szigeti said.

-Suzanne Kayian

PHOTO COURTESY NOAA

HAWAII LODGING AND TOURISM ASSOCIATION HONORS WESTIN MAUI EMPLOYEES

Don't drop it!

NOAA DISCOVER FOUR NEW LIMU SPECIES IN HAWAIIAN WATERS

-Anthony Pignataro

NEW VIRGIN AMERICA FLIGHTS Virgin America is expanding its service to Maui with daily nonstop flights between Los Angeles International Airport to Kahului. Virgin America is also adding daily nonstop flights between LAX and Honolulu beginning May 5; Maui flights will commence on June 14.

The new service adds to the airline’s recently-launched service between San Francisco International Airport, Maui and Oahu.

The new flights also provide roundtrip connecting service between Honolulu and New York, Las Vegas and Seattle. The expanded service also will allow round-trip connections between Maui and Newark, Washington DC, Boston, San Diego, Dallas and Chicago; Maui passengers will also be able to connect to NYC, Las Vegas and Seattle via the new flights.

“Virgin America is providing more airline choice and competition to our great state, and we could not be more pleased that they are already adding more routes to the Hawaiian Islands from Los Angeles–our largest originating travel market,” said Governor David Ige. “We look forward to Virgin America’s continued growth and success in servicing travelers visiting the islands.”

Hawaii Tourism Authority’s president and CEO George D. Szigeti said the addition of more seats flying direct between LA and Honolulu and Kahului will not only expand the availability to more islands, but provide visitors with another excellent airline option. “We are thrilled to

-Suzanne Kayian

KIPAHULU ROAD CLOSURE Those headed to Kipahulu should check road availability throughout the year because of considerable road repair work, the County of Maui announced last week. In fact, Pi‘ilani Highway at Nuanualoa Gulch, near Mile Marker 37, will close completely in the near future as workers repair a section of road that was significantly damaged by a recent landslide.

“The county has initiated emergency work in the area which will require the road to be tested for stability before repair work begins,” stated the county’s Feb. 3 news release. “The testing will require the road to be closed completely, from Feb. 16 to Feb. 19, between 7 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. After that the road will still need to be closed partially for testing from Feb. 22 to Feb. 26, also from 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.”

Partial closures mean the road in that area will only have one lane open (its current status, actually), and there will be workers present to help direct traffic.

“Repair work on the road will come later this year, and require more road closure dates,” states the news release. “The county will release those details to the public as soon as they become available.”

-Anthony Pignataro ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

PHOTO COURTESY COUNTY OF MAUI

Well, you can now take heart in the fact that researchers have discovered four entirely new species of marine algae (known as “limu” in Hawaiian culture) here in Hawaiian waters, and at surprising depths. The researchers, who were working with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) office of National Marine Sanctuaries found the limu species at 200-400 feet down–“depths not typically known for marine algae,” according to a Feb. 2 NOAA press release.

“I was astounded at the abundance and size of these algae, which resembled something you would see in a shallowwater lagoon, not at 400 feet,” said Heather Spalding, Ph.D, a researcher at the University of Hawaii and lead author of a new Journal of Phycology article on the new limu species.

“The species were sampled during surveys between 2013 and 2015 in Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument by NOAA divers using advanced SCUBA diving technologies, and during past NOAA expeditions from 2006 to 2014 throughout the Main Hawaiian Islands using submersibles operated by the Hawaii Undersea Research Laboratory,” stated the Feb. 2 NOAA news release.

“Scientists anticipate that many additional new species of algae will be described in the coming years from samples collected by NOAA divers on future expeditions to the monument.”

So that just leaves the big question: Why is this important?

“These findings redefine our understanding of algal distributions in Hawai‘i, and hint at the great number of other new species that are likely to be discovered in the future from these amazing deep-water reefs,” said Dan-

iel Wagner, the Papahanaumokuakea research specialist with NOAA’s Office of National Marine Sanctuaries, in the Feb. 2 NOAA news release.

The Westin Maui Resort’s Crystal Lei Lane was recently named Manager of the Year at the 26th annual Na Po‘e Pa‘ahana Awards. Recipients of the awards–presented by the Hawaii Lodging & Tourism Association–are judged on the basis of outstanding and exceptional service to lodging guests, co-workers and the community.

Westin’s Heidi Michel-Bunyard was also recognized by the HLTA–as first runner-up for Outstanding Lodging Employee of the Year. “To have not just one but two employees recognized for their invaluable contributions is most heartwarming,” said Westin general manager Tony Bruno. The recognitions further emphasize the passionate dedication embraced by resort associates towards providing service excellence with genuine Hawaiian hospitality, Bruno said.

In addition to Lane’s work as a Human Resources Manager, she often leads some of the hotel’s community work, including American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life and HLTA’s Charity Walk. Lane also spends work and personal time assisting the Alternative Learning Center (ALC) at Lahainaluna High School (LHS); she works closely with students at risk for dropping out of school including guiding them in interview skills, resume writing, building character in the workplace, how to keep a job, and how to be an outstanding employee.

The selection of Michel-Bunyard, a Spa Sales Coordinator at Heavenly Spa by Westin, was attributed to her extraordinary efforts, kindness and

commitment to work, her guests, and her hotel’s success. She has developed meaningful and lasting relationships with guests, knowing some of them for more than 25 years. One guest who had been visiting the resort the past 20 years (since the age of six) attributed their amazing memories of annual Maui vacations to Heidi and the Westin ‘Ohana family.

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In January, the upscale Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana introduced stylish hijabs and abayas aimed at Muslim women unafraid to call attention to themselves as they exercise their obliged modesty. D&G’s marketing effort even accessorized models’ headscarves and cloaks with stilettos and oversized, gaudily framed sunglasses. It was clear from the suggested retail prices that D&G would be pitching the line mainly in the wealthy Persian Gulf countries like United Arab Emirates.

CULTURAL DIVERSITY Among the sites Japan has submitted for 2017 United Nations World Heritage status is the island of Okinoshima, home of a sacred shrine with which Shinto gods have been “protecting” fishermen as long ago as the fourth century. (The island is so sacred that females have never been allowed on it–judged either too delicate to make the trip or menstrually unclean). And a current Tokyo craze, reported an Australian Broadcasting correspondent, involves “stressed out” professionals and office workers publicly outfitted in colorful, fullbody lycra suits (“zentai”) in a rebellion against the nation’s stultifying conformity.

Said one, “I’m a different person wearing this. I can be friendly to anyone.”

SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED Crescent City, California, drug dealer James Banuelos pleaded guilty in January in exchange for a lighter sentence (three years in prison), thus avoiding for police the airing of an embarrassing hidden-camera video of the raid showing arresting officers stealing the dealer’s money and valuables.

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belonging to Banuelos wound up for sale a few days later on Craigslist. As part of the plea agreement, the prosecutor agreed to give all Banuelos’ stuff back to him.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS The main road linking the port city of Mombasa, Kenya, to Nairobi and beyond (to landlocked Uganda) was blocked in mid-November by damage from heavy rains, leading to a 30-mile-long stream of stopped vehicles, stranding more than 1,500 trucks. And in October at the end of China’s traditional, annual week-long getaway, new traffic checkpoints for the notorious G4 Beijing-Hong Kong-Macau Expressway reduced the previous 50 lanes of traffic (yes, that’s “fifty”) to 20. Videos from a TV network’s drone showed a breathtaking traffic jam-cum-parking lot that quickly inspired delight, or compassion, all around the Internet.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Jason Hayes, 17, was arrested in a Philadelphia suburb in January when he arrived for a scheduled appointment with a robbery victim from the night before. According to police, Hayes had attempted to shake down a woman in her home, but was still dissatisfied with the money she had on hand. Fearful, she agreed to bring more the next day if they met at a local shopping mall, and he agreed (promising to wear the same clothes so she would recognize him).

She, of course, called police. And Dusty Ingram, 38, being searched by jailhouse guards in Crestview, Florida, in January, said she had prescriptions for everything–but then said she thought they were in her purse and professed not to know how they got into that plastic bag in her genitals. ■

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Who’s Conducting the Humpback Symphony?

Whale Trust Maui wants to know why humpbacks in the Pacific learn to sing the same song, even when thousands of miles apart

By Sara Tekula

O

ne of the world’s leading researchers of whale song and how it relates to whale behavior, Dr. Jim Darling is a special kind of recording artist. Using a hydrophone, along with his trained eye and the powers of observation as whales move throughout their day, he is on a quest to discover one of the great mysteries: what exactly is the function of whale song?

Researchers don’t know the answer to that question–not even Darling, who’s struggled to crack the code for decades. However, he and his Whale Trust Maui colleagues are slowly, but surely, gathering pieces of the puzzle that are telling them more about what those functions are–and are not. As it is with science, the quest for answers often leads to more questions and a deeper mystery to explore. For the curious scientist, obsessed with solving the puzzle, humpback whales have proven to be the ultimate subject.

Every year like clockwork, thousands of humpback whales migrate across the Pacific from their summer feeding grounds off Alaska to spend the winter in their native home of Hawaii. Their homeland is called the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary, a 1,400 square mile area of ocean that is located among all of the main islands. Considered one of the world’s most important whale breeding habitats, this is the only place where humpbacks reproduce in the United States. It is the perfect natural laboratory for research scientists like Darling.

10 FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Whales have fascinated and intrigued people and scientists alike for as long as we can remember. With their awe-inspiring intelligence, their long, complex songs, acrobatic behaviors, and preference for nearshore, shallow waters, humpbacks may be the most accessible and popular of the 90 or so cetacean species known to exist today.

On the verge of extinction just 50 years ago, humpbacks have made a resilient recovery. Indeed, today more than 10,000 humpbacks (or about half of the North Pacific population) are thought to migrate to the waters around Hawaii for the purposes of mating and calving.

Here off Maui, one of the most concentrated areas in Hawaii to see humpbacks due to our shallow, leeward waters, you can see young calves learning from their moms, males fighting each other for females (and perhaps even cooperating), males chasing females while other males actively guard and keep other males at bay, whales waving their pectoral fins, slapping their tails, and jumping entirely out of the water.

RIVERS OF SOUND Diving into the ocean on Maui during the winter time, you can hear a cacophony of squeals, whistles, moans, and groans that can only be one thing–the luring songs of humpback whales. If you are close to a singing whale, it is about as loud as a home stereo turned up full blast. Liter-

ally, the sounds vibrate through your body, and it becomes debatable which of your senses is more attuned, the sounds you hear or the sounds you feel.

Only males sing songs–females make sounds but don’t organize them in this hierarchical way researchers describe as “song.”

These songs are a predominant characteristic in the breeding grounds of humpback whales, but they also sing along their migration routes, and even begin singing in higher latitude feeding grounds in the fall.

Based on Whale Trust research, we know that, at least in Hawaii, male singers attract other males, not females. This may be the most surprising thing the Whale Trust team has found in the last 20 years. Why would males sing songs during the breeding season if not to attract females? They’ve been trying to figure that out ever since.

One of the most amazing attributes of the song is that humpback whales separated by thousands of miles–across the entire North Pacific Ocean–sing essentially the same version of the song at any given time.

Yet, the song is constantly changing. This feat has long puzzled scientists like Darling, who’s spent the last 30 years trying to uncover the mystery of these complex songs.

One thing is certain: learning about whale song–and being able to hear it–has shifted the world’s feelings about whales. In 1967, researchers Roger Payne and Scott McVay published that humpback whales produce sounds in long, predictable patterns. This ignited the

imaginations of the public and led to a global protest against commercial whaling, arguably leading to the “save the whales movement.”

In 1970, Payne released a vinyl album, Songs of the Humpback Whale, which became the bestselling natural history recording of all time. In 1979, National Geographic included the recording in their magazine, and people became enthralled to learn that whales could compose and sing songs.

This deeper understanding of whales and the growing public awareness of their behaviors and songs is the core mission of Whale Trust, the Maui-based organization that Darling co-founded. Founded in 2001, Whale Trust Maui is one of Hawaii’s leading research organizations dedicated to learning as much as possible about whales, and sharing that information with the world.

Whale Trust Maui co-founder and executive director Meagan Jones says the organization and her partners–the underwater photographer Flip Nicklin and Jim Darling–because “we share a passion and commitment not only to better understand whales, but to use what we were learning about these amazing animals to inspire others to care about our natural world, and in particular our oceans.”

CAPTIVATED AUDIENCE Darling first became curious about whales as a surfer off of Vancouver Island. He noticed whales in the lineup and became curious as to what was known.

He soon found out that there was very little known, and ended up going back to school to get his biology degree. He couldn’t have fallen into better hands. In fact, Roger Payne became his advisor. Eventually, Payne sent Darling to Maui to record whale songs for him in the mid-1970s, and the rest is history.

“My interest sparked in 1979 in Maui, when we found we could actually locate a singer and watch it underwater,” Darling said.

“Prior to that, I did not realize that kind of close observation could be possible–and we realized then there was a lot to be learned.”

It was the gender, behavior and interactions of the singers that were of first interest. It was not until Darling and his colleagues studied the interactions of singers for several years that it became clear the song itself needed to be investigated if they were going to understand its function.

When Darling was working on his doctorate, he saw an example of another male joining a singer he was recording. This observation was contrary to everything that had been written or understood by scientists. Everyone assumed that male singers were singing to attract females, but he had this one example showing the exact opposite. A sample size of one doesn’t mean anything to a scientist, but it struck him.

Was that lone observation a clue that could lead to a new discovery? He returned to Maui in 1996 to answer this question and hasn’t stopped studying it–this question of why humpback whales sing has captivated him ever since.

WANDERING WAVELENGTHS With the help of advanced underwater recording technology, Darling and his colleagues have been able to make new discoveries that were once impossible. Worldwide, researchers’ efforts have been aided spectacularly by the development of remotely deployed hydrophones with huge memory storage–so they can operate/record for months at a time, and at times of year and in locations not amenable to humans.

“It is primarily through remote hydrophones that we learned singing starts in feeding grounds in fall and ends in the feeding grounds in spring–rather than just a breeding ground occurrence,” said Darling.

In recent years, Darling and his colleagues in the Philippines, Japan, and Mexico have been working together to record whale songs systematically and concurrently over the course of three years to look for similarities and differences in the song across known breeding and calving grounds in the North Pacific Ocean basin.

It’s quite an effort requiring much coordination and collaboration, and most of the research was funded by Whale Trust Maui.

“This work is entirely dependent on collaboration with local researchers in each of the areas,” Darling said. “Fortunately we have great colleagues in each of these areas and they have successfully collected the song samples we need.”

Their research is focused on looking at humpback songs from different regions in the North Pacific Basin to see if there was any clear pattern in the similarities and differences found in song across breeding grounds, and if geographical proximity explained those differences. Did whales in

Japan and the Philippines have more similar songs than those recorded in Hawaii and Mexico? Hawaii is three to four times further away than the Asian locations are from each other. How did that impact the composition of the song?

“If one records the song in say Hawaii, Philippines and Japan in any one winter you would find that the song in all the locations is very similar–although not necessarily 100 percent identical,” Darling said.

“One of the characteristics of the song is that it slowly changes as it’s being sung, yet all the singers in a population sing essentially the same version at any one time.

We do not know how they do this but it’s presumed the whales listen to each other and all incorporate any changes.”

The fact that the song from these different–and widely separated–breeding grounds is markedly similar means that the populations mix in some way, at some time, in their annual cycles to maintain a common song. How or why they do this, Darling and his colleagues do not yet know.

“The recording is the easy part–it’s the analysis of the songs, including the identification of components and comparison from one population to the next that takes a lot time,” Darling said.

Initial results confirmed that overall, the humpback whale song is remarkably similar between regions separated by thousands of miles and suggests that the agent of change is likely due to the mixing of whales during the migration or perhaps even on feeding grounds. The differences detected in songs may be due to the temporary isolation of winter breeding assemblies. But the forces behind the continual song changes, and the purpose of this change in the song, remained unclear. This will be the fuel that takes Jim Darling and the Whale Trust Team into the next unfolding mystery.

“When he is on the water, Jim doesn’t like to talk,” Meagan Jones said. “He likes to listen. What are the whales telling him?

What are they communicating? Why are they doing this? Why does the song need

to be so complex? These are the questions that keep him up at night and keep him coming back year after year.”

THE WONDERS OF WHALES - WHALE TALES 2016 Scientists are literally just breaking the surface into understanding whale behavior.

There is so much they don’t yet know, and ultimately that might be the biggest threat the whales face going forward. Perhaps the greatest threat to humpback whales (and all wildlife) is our lack of understanding of their ecological and social requirements– what these animals really need to stay alive and healthy, in an ever-changing world.

Each year, as a part of its mission to communicate what scientists currently know about whales, Whale Trust Maui hosts Whale Tales, an educational event that was created to help encourage understanding and the sharing of the newest findings in whale research. At this year’s Whale Tales, held over President’s Day weekend at The Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, world-renowned whale experts from around the world will convene to address their latest challenges, newest findings, and share about some of the new tools that scientists are using to try to stay ahead of the curve.

All the presentations are open to the public. In addition to educating the public, the event raises funds to support further whale research in Hawai’i. Now in it’s 10th year, Whale Tales is expected to exceed a cumulative $500,000 raised for research in Maui.

Darling will present his latest talk, titled “Humpback Songs Across the Pacific,” at Whale Tales on Saturday, Feb. 13, and he’s expected to share the latest analysis of the trans-Pacific research he’s been doing on whale song and behavior. Will he be able to crack the code? Whale enthusiasts following his fascinating work with whale song can’t wait to find out. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

WHALE TALES 2016 SCHEDULE Thursday, Feb. 11 4-6pm: Benefit Whale Watch Friday, Feb. 12 7:30am-12pm: Benefit Whale Watches 12:30pm-5:30pm: Education and Art Expo, Ritz-Carlton Kapalua 2-5:30pm: Presentations and Book Signing with Chuck Nicklin, Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua Saturday, Feb. 13 7:30 am-12:30pm: Benefit Whale Watches 12-5pm: Education and Art Expo, Ritz-Carlton Kapalua 12-12:30pm: Special Series: Films from the Field presented by Hawaii Whale Research Foundation 1-5pm: Presentations, Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua Sunday, Feb. 14 7:30am-12pm: Benefit Whale Watches 12-5pm: Education and Art Expo, Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua 1-5pm: Presentations, Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua 3:30pm: Maui Premiere of Humpback Whales Presented by MacGillivray Freeman Films at The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua, Followed by Q and A (Suggested $10 donation) Monday, February 15 7:30am-6:30pm: Benefit Whale Watches

Organizers suggest a $20 attendance donation for the Presentations

FEBRUARY 11, 2016

11

VALENTINE’S DAY MENU Sunday, Feb. 14th 5:30-9:30pm STARTERS Wailea Oyster Shooters Fried Brussels Sprouts Kumu Farms Beets and Goat Cheese Seared Ahi Bruschetta Hamachi Sashimi Seared Hokkaido Scallop SALADS Organic Maui Mixed Greens Chef Mark’s Caesar Salad Gado Gado Salad

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by Jen Russo

A&E

Happy Valentines Day Love MauiTime NEW UPDATED MENU Featuring more casual fare and a variety of the classic dishes from the former Joe's Bar & Grill.

PHOTO COURTESY WESTIN MAUI

Enjoy it while it lasts

LOCATED AT THE WAILEA GOLD & EMERALD GOLF COURSES 100 WAILEA GOLF CLUB DRIVE | WAILEA

MAKE RESERVATIONS NOW:

L

ove is in the air this weekend, so what are you gonna do about it? Get shot by Cupid’s arrow, of course!

From gift ideas like spa treatments to romantic, serenaded multi-course dinners, this list great Valentine’s Day events will awaken your passion, however you celebrate.

LOVE U A LATTE - Thu. Feb 11-Fri. Feb 19 For some of us there is only one true love: Coffee. Write a poem about this very topic and enter at the Maui Coffee Roasters Facebook page to win caffeinated prizes.

CHAMPAGNE & CHOCOLATE - Thu. Feb 11Wed. Feb 17 Strawberries and bubbles at the spa is a perfect way to honor St. Valentine. Treatments with the works! Maui Skin and Body Studio, (169 Ma‘a St., Wailuku) 808-344-4081; Mauiskinbody.com ORCHIDS FOR LOVE - Thu. Feb 11 - Sat. Feb 13. Valentine’s Day is not just about red, white and pink. The Maui Orchid Society introduces new colors into the spectrum of Valentine’s Day, glorifying the exotic, the amazing and the rare.

9am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com COCONUTS & CUPIDS - Thu. Feb 11. The full service spa offers Valentine specials throughout the month of February including Sunrise and Sunset discount with 20 percent savings for a massage or facial treatment booked for 8am or 6pm service times. Other spa treats include the Coconut Pedicure at $65 (50 minutes), which includes a soothing soak, nail grooming and nail polish. Heavenly Spa by Westin, (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-2588; Westinmaui.com VALENTINE’S TRUNK SHOW - Fri. Feb 12. Featuring jewelry by Sigal and handpainted cards by Sparkles by Gigi. 2pm. Biasa Rose Boutique, (104 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8602; Baisarose.com A FUZZBOX VALENTINE’S DAY DJ PARTY - Fri. Feb 12. 10pm. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com/cafes/maui MARTINI TIME! - Sat. Feb 13. Romantic indoor four-course gourmet dinner by Chef Lee Ander-

son served with some of the most passionate entertainment on Maui. Experience Na Hoku winner Eric Gilliom and local performer Lia Krieg on an intimate musical journey. $99. 5:30pm. Sugar Beach Events, (85 N. Kihei Rd.); 808-856-6151; Sugarbeacheventshawaii.com

808-875-8080 GANNONSRESTAURANT.COM

IT’S A LOVE THANG - Fri. Feb 12 - Sat. Feb 13.

DJ Bliss turns on the red sauce and you dance all up in it. 10pm. Ambrosia Martini Lounge, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; Ambrosiamaui.com REMIX THE EARTH VOLUME 7 - Sat. Feb 13.

This Sexy Valentines Day incarnation, features Pleasuremaker, Boogiemeister, VJ Douglas Deboer, Masha Delphenden and Larry Fitzpatrick. Also live painting by Melissa Bruck and stuffs by Monika. Ten percent of profits go to the Shaka Movement. $15. 9:30pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com LOVE SONGS, DANCING AND DINNER WITH LOUISE LAMBERT AND MERIKA - Sat. Feb 13.

Mother and Daughter unite in a rare appearance together for a romantic Valentine’s show at Mulligan’s.

Tickets $20 in advance, $25 at the door. For tickets and info, call 808-205-3971 or visit Louiselambert. com. 7pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com VALENTINE’S AT MIDNIGHT - Sat. Feb 13.

DJ Blast will get you in the mood to welcome St. Valentine into Saturday night shenanigans. 10pm.

Ambrosia Martini Lounge, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; Ambrosiamaui.com

NTI VA L E

NE’S EVENIN G

Share a Romantic Street Side Dinner in Paia Town

CRAIG GASS XOXO - Sat. Feb 13 and Sun. Feb 14. The comedian returns to Maui for two special shows on Valentine’s Day Weekend, serving appetizers and full bar. 8pm. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com/cafes/maui SCAMPI AND FONDUE - Sat. Feb 13 & Sun. Feb 14. Treat the one that catches your eye with a chef’s cut ribeye, Valentine’s day scampi, strawberry champagne parfait and a fondue dessert plate. 5pm. Paradise Grill, (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700; Paradisegrillkb.com

808.579.8755 3 BALDWIN AVENUE, PAIA, HI MILAGROSFOODCOMPANY.COM

Continued on Page 15

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 13

V A L E N T I N E ’ S DAY

Specials

Enjoy all of our romantic experiences with your ku‘uipo (sweetheart) this Valentine’s Day at The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua.

THE BANYAN TREE – 5:30pm to 9:30pm – $100 per person Indulge in a romantic four course dinner while enjoying live music, warm tropical breezes and breathtaking ocean views at our signature restaurant.

KAI SUSHI – 5:30pm to 9pm – $88 per couple Celebrate this special evening while enjoying the freshest sushi and sashimi.

Select from the a la carte menu or choose our special Sushi for Two menu.

Treat the one that catches your eye with a Chef’s Cut Ribeye!

Chef cut Ribeye served with garlic & white wine braised Kauai Prawns.

$29.95

Valentine’s Day Scampi Delicious Kauai Prawns braised in white wine and garlic, served on a bed of Fettuccine noodles and topped with Pecorino Romano Cheese.

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THE RITZ-CARLTON SPA, KAPALUA

Strawberry Champagne Parfait

Spa Romance specials are available through March 11, 2016 and include a chocolatedipped strawberry manicure and pedicure and a fall-back-in-love couples massage.

Fresh strawberries soaked in champagne, shaved dark chocolate, and Bailey’s Cream layered in a martini glass.

GIFT CARDS For the perfect Valentine’s Day gift, give your ku’uipo (sweetheart) a Ritz-Carlton gift card. The GiftCard may be used for a relaxing spa treatment, a gourmet meal or an overnight stay – all the exclusive experiences only The Ritz-Carlton can provide.

$12.95

Fondue Dessert Plate Make it Fun and Dip Away Mixed variety of strawberries, pineapple, pound cake, and rice crispy treats.

$10.95 For reservations, please call 808-665-7089. For a complete list of romance experiences, visit www.ritzcarlton.com/kapaluaromance.

2nd Annual

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LOVE

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by Jen Russo Continued from Page 13 VALENTINE’S PAA MALE COUPLES’ MASSAGE - Sun. Feb 14. Seductive “Pa‘a Male” Couples’ Massage” offered at $315 per couple at the Heavenly Spa. Within the spaciously designed spa suite, the couple is pampered with a relaxing 50-minute massage, sideby-side. Add a private whirlpool bath to the massage for $85 (25 minutes) Heavenly Spa by Westin, (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-2588; Westinmaui.com HEART PANCAKES - Sun. Feb 14. Enjoy Red Velvet Batter pancake. Get it while it’s hot. 8am.

Slappy Cakes, (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-419-6600; Slappycakes.com ONO VALENTINE’S DAY BRUNCH - Sun. Feb 14. Includes flowers, chocolates from Hawaiian Host, brunch and entertainment by Amy Hana‘ali’i, Koa, Arlie Asiu and Willie K. 10am. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com MAMBO LOVE BRUNCH - Sun. Feb 14. Enjoy a Valentine’s Day Brunch with one of their special signature dishes and a choice of Bloody Mary or Mimosa. $14.95. 10am. Cafe Mambo, (30 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-8021; Cafemambomaui.com STEEL HORSE SALOON - Sun, Arly and Jay play for Valentine’s Day. 4-10pm; (1234 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-245-2206 ROMANCE WITH A VIEW - Sun. Feb 14. Gannon's is already known for its stunning romantic location, but did you know they are now featuring some of the beloved menu items from Joe's Bar and Grill? Valentines Day is the perfect opportunity to reminisce and wax poetic over Bev Gannon's extraordinary menu. 5pm. Gannon's, (100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 808-875-8080; GannonsRestaurant.com MALA VALENTINE’S WAILEA STYLE - Sun. Feb 14. Bring your sweetheart and enjoy a romantic evening, then choose a mouth-watering meal from the sea or from the land. 5pm. Mala Wailea, (3700 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9394; Malawailea.com AL FRESCO VALENTINE’S DINNER - Sun. Feb 14. Share a romantic street side dinner in Paia Town. 5pm. Milagros, (3 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808579-8755; Milagrosfoodcompany.com MAKENA VALENTINE’S DAY DINNER - Sun. Feb 14. Chef Kurt Lesmerises begins with a celebratory sparkling wine toast with strawberries, followed by a special three-course Valentine’s Day Menu at $125 per couple. In addition, the resort offers three, four and seven-course private Oceanside Dining experiences starting at $100 per person. $125. 5:30pm. Molokini Bar and Grille Makena Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com SIZZLING VALENTINE’S DINNER - Sun. Feb 14.

Keep the romance sizzling like a beautiful steak from Ruth’s Chris. Indulge in an Ala Carte Menu or Chef’s Special Selections. All Valentines will receive a special gift and can enter win a romantic dinner for two.

4pm. Ruth’s Chris Steak House, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-874-8880; Ruthschrishawaii.com VALENTINE’S DAY ON A BOAT - Sun. Feb 14.

Three-course dinner including appetizers and dessert, plus cocktails, live music and sweeping views of the West Maui Mountains and nearby islands. Plus, you can’t beat sunset at sea. Book online and save 10 percent. 5pm. Pacific Whale Foundation, (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org KA‘ANAPALI OCEANFRONT ROMANCE - Sun. Feb 14. Westin Maui Sous Chef Gemsley Balagso has designed a delicious four-course pre-fixe menu.

Premium beach lawn seating of this oceanfront restaurant including champagne can be reserved at $250 per couple, plus tax and gratuity. Get lovestruck with unrivaled ocean views under a canopy of stars.

5pm. Relish Oceanside Bar, (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-2525; Relish.reservations@westin.com VALENTINE’S ON THE GREEN - Sun. Feb 14.

Enjoy a traditional dinner menu or a four-course

A&E T The B Best O Of Maui M

pre-fixe selection with dessert and complimentary glass of champagne. Panoramic ocean and mountain sunset views with indoor and outdoor seating. $65. 5pm. Kono’s on the green, (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com MONTAGE VALENTINE’S WAY - Sun. Feb 14. Enjoy a stunning four-course dinner prepared by Chef David Viviano. The menu features oysters, caviar, lobster, beef tenderloin and a selection of Maui’s freshest fish. It’s all topped off with a decadent dessert offering. $85 per person. Additional $45 for wine pairings.

5pm. Cane and Canoe (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808662-6681; Montagehotels.com/kapalua VALENTINE’S DAY KUUIPO DINNER - Sun. Feb 14. Celebrate your ku‘uipo on this special evening, featuring a four-course menu and optional wine pairing. $100 per person, $45 for optional wine pairing at The Banyan Tree. If sushi is more your style head to Kai Sushi instead for Sushi for two menu $88.

5:30pm. (1 Ritz-Carton Dr., Kapalua); 808-6657096; Ritzcarlton.com/banyantree

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VALENTINE’S DAY WITH A SPECIAL SWEETHEART MENU - Sun. Feb 14. The Hyatt Regency Maui is hosting a unique “Taste of Japengo” Valentine Reception in the Statue Gardens. Guests will enjoy romantic live music, classic bites from Japengo and special gifts including leis and a half off coupon to Japengo.

Sip on sparkling wine, Mai Tais and craft beers from Maui Brewing Co. $99. 5:30pm. Japengo, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com CONNECT 4 LOVE - Sun. Feb 14. Enjoy Valentine’s this year at the brewery. There will be a Connect Four tournament, live music and special guest beers “Bloody Valentine” and “Horny Devil” from Alesmith Brewing Co. 6pm. Maui Brewing Company Kihei, (605 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808213-3002; Mauibrewingco.com A NIGHT TO REMEMBER - Sun. Feb 14. An Exquisite Valentine’s Buffet Dinner featuring awardwinning dishes from Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel Chef Tom Muromoto, a hula show and Hawaiian entertainment. $49.95. 6pm. Tiki Terrace, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0124; Tikiterrace.com MYSTICAL ALCHEMY VALENTINES - Sun. Feb 14. Join Heather and Donny along with special guest Aunty Pua Mahoe. Our evening will include a Sacred Cacao offering–a sacrament which has been used by the Mayans for healing and opening the heart. $11 to $22 at the Door. 7pm. Lumeria Maui, (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-8877; Lumeriamaui.com LUST NOT LOVE - Sun. Feb 14. Be warned: this isn’t the romantic holiday party from a Hallmark card. If you’re committed, fearing commitment, swinging, solo, lover or playa, rev up your lust factor and dress in red. Horns and tails optional.

9pm. Down the Hatch, (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com ■

jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more entertainment news, visit: mauitime.com/entertainment

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Picks

by Marina Satoafaiga

This Week's Picks THURSDAY, FEB. 11

FRIDAY, FEB. 12 CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS – Welcome ions at the the Year of the Monkey with celebrations he Wo Hing County Building in Wailuku (9am) and the n Seng Au Museum in Lahaina (10am). Master Ben d the festiviand his Shaolin Arts Academy will lead lude martial ties at the County Building, which will include es. Lahaina arts demos and red envelope opportunities.

Restoration Foundation’s celebration features the Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi School of Denver, Chinese calligraphy, the art of Chinese se knot tyook.com/ ing, tea and cookies and more. Facebook.com/ n.org. countyofmaui, Lahainarestoration.org.

Photo courtesy County of Maui

AMY O'NEAL OPPOSING FORCES – Shining a different light on Hip Hop Culure this show choreographed by Amy O'Neal translates the B-Boy in a new light. Her vision busts down pre conceived ideas of hip hop exploring feminine perception, and race and gender with dance using battling, contemporary, commercial style and cyphering. Opportunity to dance with Amy starts the show. $30. 7:30pm. MCCOY THEATRE, Maui Arts and Cultural Center (1 Cameron Way, Kahului), Mauiarts.org. Photo by Nate Watters

FRIDAY, FEB. 12 TASTE OF TUSCANY – Matteo’s Maui invites you to a “Taste of Tuscany.” Treat your taste buds to a five-course Italian inspired pre-fixe menu. Enjoy the flavors of Italy from the convenience of your dinner plate. You can also opt for the full experience by adding a wine pairing. 5:30-9:30pm. $70++ (plus $60 for wine pairing) Matteo’s (161 Wailea Ike Pl.); 808-891-8466, Wp.matteosmaui.com.

Photo courtesy Matteo’s

VALENTINE’S SWING DANCE – Grab your valentine and head over to King Kekaulike High School’s annual Valentine’s Swing Dance. The Na Ali‘i Big Band will perform while swing dance lessons will be ongoing.

Enjoy an evening of music and food with your sweetheart. All ages welcome. $7 KKHS Students. $10 Adults. 6-9pm. King Kekaulike Cafetorium (121 Kula Hwy., Pukalani), Kekaulikeband.weebly.com.

Photo courtesy Kekaulikeband.weebly.com

FRIDAY, AY, FEB. 12 DIRTY Y SOUTH SO SOU S OU O UT TH H – T The Th he h e Ma Mau M Maui a au u i Arts and C Cul Cu ul tural Center ((MA MA M ACC) C prresents A p Cultural (MACC) presents Ausssie-based sie si iie e -ba -based ba a sed sse ed e d DJ aan nd p rro o d uc uce cer D irty So and producer Dirty South.

Th The T h tw wo-t -t ime G -t ra a mmy m an nd Ar Ari A r a nom two-time Grammy and Aria nominee has ass won w n over audiences wo a ud ience au c s aaround rrou ou n nd d the world w throug oug oug g h his his i North No o r th th Ame e ric r an n Tour, Tou u r, the Ultra U through American Mus M us ic c Festival, Fes es e s tiv v al, Pacha Pac a ch ha a and an nd more. m ore o . Must Mus be Music 18 1 8 yye yea ea e a rs rs orr old o ol llder er $ er. $1 $15 15 -30 3 +. 6 pm. M years older. $15-30+.

6pm.

Maui Arts and Cultural C Cen Ce en e nte te ter err ((1 1 Came Center Cameron Wa Way W ay a y, K ahu ah a hu lui), Mauiarts.org. Ph Way, Kahului), Photo courtesy Dirty South’s Facebook page

AY, FEB. 12 FRIDAY,

WHALE TALES – Spend President’s Day Weekend with Whale Trust Maui for their 10th annual Whale Tales, which runs from Friday, Feb. 12 through Monday, Feb. 15. The educational series doubles as a benefit for the Hawaii Whale Research Foundation, Keiki Kohola Project, Large Whale Disentanglement Program, National Marine Sanctuary Foundation, Oceanwide Science Institute and Whale Trust Maui. The event hosts leaders in the fields of research, science, photography, filmmaking and conservation in an effort to educate and network.

The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr., Kapalua), Whaletrust.org. Photo: Flip Nicklin

SATURDAY, FEB. 13 S

FANCY NANCY PRESCHOOL STORYTIME – Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Fancy Nancy at the Kihei Public Library. Keiki are invited for a time of storytime and Valentines.

Following the story, keiki are invited to make a little fancy Valentine’s Day craft. Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-875-6833, Librarieshawaii.org.

Photo: Amazon.com

WORLD WHALE DAY – The celebration of whales continues with World Whale Day at Kalama Park in Kihei. The Parade of Whales kicks off the festivities, complete with costumed sea characters and ocean-themed floats.

Willie K., John Cruz, HAPA, Marty Dread, Amy Hanaiali‘i Gilliom, George Kahumoku, Cyril Pahinui and Manutea Nui E round out the entertainment. Grab the special someone in your life a gift from the “Made on Maui” craft fair, pick up your weekly produce from the farm-to-table market and let your keiki burn energy in the keiki zone. $5. 12yr and under Free.

9am. Mauiwhalefestival.org. Photo courtesy Pacific Whale Foundation

SATURDAY, FEB. 13 KEALI‘I REICHEL AND HALAU KE‘ALAOKAMAILE – The MACC is presenting Keali‘i Reichel and Halau Ke‘alaokamaile in KUKAHI this Saturday, Feb. 13 and Sunday, Feb. 14. Bask in an evening with one of Maui’s most prolific voices. A Hawaiian music staple, Reichel’s music, chant and hula represent the best of Hawaii’s traditional and contemporary poetry and dance today. $12-65+. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului), Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

TONI CHILDS YOGA – Maui Yoga & Dance Shala hosts Emmy winner and three-time Grammy nominee Toni Childs this Saturday, Feb. 13 and Sunday, Feb. 14 for You’re Beautiful Yoga. Childs will be in Paia on Saturday (6pm) and Wailea on Sunday (1pm) teaching a 90-minute class that will feature asana, dance, storytelling, meditation and song. The class will be followed by a meet-and-greet.

Maui-yoga.com. Photo courtesy Toni Childs’ Facebook page

SATURDAY, FEB. 13 MORE KUNG HEE FAT CHOY! – Year of the Fire Monkey celebration will continue with the giant all day celebration at the Maui Mall from 9am to 2:30pm with firecrackers, lion-feedings and martial arts demos. Monkey business continues at the Lahaina Cannery Mall from 2-4pm. Free. (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului) & (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina), Photo courtesy Lahaina Cannery Mall

SUNDAY, FEB. 14

REMIX THE EARTH VOL. 7 – Remix The Earth (Volume 7) returns to C Casanova for a Valentine’s Day Special. Featuring Afrolicious’ Pleasuremaker, Boogiemeister, VJ Douglas Deboer and live congas by Larry Fitzpatrick, the night is sure to heat up. Shop Summer Thyme handmade bikinis and enjoy live painting by Melissa Bruck. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Shaka Movement. $10 before 10pm , $15 after.

9:30-1:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 8085 572-0220, Casanovamaui.com. Photo courtesy Beats Bazaar

MONDAY, M MO ONDAY FEB FEB. 15 ROMANTIC VALENTINE’S DAY CRUISE – Pacific Whale Foundation invites you and your valentine to a romantic Dinner Cruise. Guests will be served a three-course dinner and cocktails while live music and the Maui sunset serve as the backdrop. Indoor and outdoor seating will be available. Primetime whale season will offer guests a special touch. Lahaina Harbor Departure. 5pm & 5:30pm. Pacificwhale.org.

Photo: Captain Bluecrab/Wikimedia Commons

TED TALKS VIEWING PARTY – TED enthusiasts are invited to watch 2016’s Opening Night via a live broadcast at the Maui Mall. This year’s opening speakers include Ishita Katyal, Astro Teller, Riccardo Sabatini, AR Rahman, Shonda Rhimes, Dan Pallotta and Bill T. Jones. Reserve your seat before they sell out. $20. 7pm. Regal Maui Mall Megaplex (70 E Ka`ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Facebook.com/TEDxMaui. Photo of Shonda Rhimes: Greg Hernandez/Wikimedia Commons

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 17

18 FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Film

by Barry Wurst II

'Fifty Shades of Black' Whatever you do in life, make sure you don’t see this movie ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (Zero Stars) Rated R / 92 Min.

T

he movie spoof genre died 20 years ago, about an hour into a forgotten Leslie Nielsen-starring farce called Spy Hard. In that silly parody of 007 films, Nielsen and his co-star Nicolette Sheridan run into a restaurant and start dancing like John Travolta and Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. In fact, their hair suddenly resembles Travolta and Thurman and their dance movies are cheekily reminiscent of the iconic scene from Quentin Tarantino’s 1994 crime classic. The problem with this and many others like it in Spy Hard is that there’s no joke, just a movie reference. We’re supposed to laugh by default, because of a movie the filmmakers brought up. It’s a set up for a joke that never comes, a lazy, laughfree way to make a spoof.

In contrast, the scene in Airplane! where Robert Hays walks into a bar and parodies Saturday Night Fever is brilliant.

The movie reference is the set-up and the jokes, stacked atop more jokes, are the payoff. After Spy Hard, movies that aimed

to specifically send-up other movies took a creative nose dive.

Scattered laughs are not enough to recommend movies like the latter Scary Movie sequels, nor even worse time wasters like Date Movie, Epic Movie and Superhero Movie. The latest in this long line of cheap, horrendous spoof movies is Fifty Shades of Black, which stars Marlon Wayans, who also co-wrote and co-produced. I’ll defend Wayans, because of how good he was in Requiem for a Dream but it’s also my job to mention how insufferable he was in Dungeons & Dragons, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, The Ladykillers and now this movie, his vanity vehicle. Playing “Christian Black,” a spoof of you-knowwho and spending the running time tormenting his co-star Kali Hawk (and the audience), Wayans is obnoxious.

The double whammy of this fiasco is that it not only makes movie references instead of jokes, but it’s also a scene-forscene remake of Fifty Shades of Grey. That movie, while quite bad, is still better made, acted, directed and is far funnier, intentionally and otherwise, that anything here.

Seriously, go see Zoolander 2, and that movie is garbage.

In fact, Fifty Shades of Black is painfully unfunny, proof-positive that Keenan Ivory Wayans (who directed I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, co-wrote Hollywood Shuffle and created In Living Color) is the true comic genius of the Wayans family. Younger brother Marlon is not at the same level, to put it nicely.

The lousy Wayans comedy vehicle White Chicks at least had a scene-stealing Terry Crews to inject big laughs into a yuk-free zone. Here, none of the actors can save it, not Mike Epps, Fred Willard, a what-theheck-are-you-doing-here Jane Seymour and seriously-what-the-bloody-heck-areyou-doing-in-this Florence Henderson. It’s a new low for movie comedy in general but mostly for Carol Brady.

I love lowbrow jokes (South Park and The Naked Gun are personal favorites)

but the level of humor on hand is idiotic, as are the poor attempts to skewer Donald Trump, Taylor Swift and the Black Lives Matter movement. No one will lose any sleep over how this movie fails to coherently roast them. Even the sight gags flop, as characters are constantly reading the “funny” things the audience is apparently too bored to read themselves.

At the very least, this could have been as well-timed a comic attack on Fifty Shades as the Wayans’ Don’t Be a Menace to South Central once was to the overload of “urban gangsta” dramas. For all the targets this has, no blood is drawn, as it winds up as just another Meet the Spartans. At the moment, movie spoofs are dead, as this charges after an easy target like Fifty Shades of Grey but stays limp for an agonizing hour and a half. ■

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 19

Love Songs with Louise Lambert and Merika A rare appearance of mother and daughter in a romantic evening of dining and dancing and songs from the heart. Introducing the ethereal voice of Merika and her celtic harp debut, with Louise on piano and vocals, Danny M on Acoustic Bass, and Percussionist Jose Ortiz.

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 13TH AT 7PM Mulligan’s on the Blue • 100 Kaukahi St., Kihei For best seats and dinner reservations call 874.1131 Tickets: $25 at door, $20 in advance at www.louiselambert.com For more information call 205.3971.

20 FEBRUARY 11, 2016

Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes

THURS | 2/11

KA‘AHUMANU 6

MALL MEGAPLEX

Joy-PG13- THU 11:30 1:50 4:40 7:00 9:40

Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului.

1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens- PG13- 2D THU

Deadpool-R- FRI-SAT 11:10 1:50 4:20 7:00

Some showtime info wasn’t available at press time. Please contact the theater directly for complete listings.

8:00 9:45 10:30, MON-THU 11:10 1:50 4:20 7:00 8:00 Hail, Caesar!- PG13- THU 11:30 2:00 4:30 7:00, FRI-SUN 11:30 2:00 4:30 7:00 9:30, MON-THU 11:30 2:00 4:30 7:00 The Revenant-R-THU 11:30 2:45 6:00, FRISUN 11:30 2:45 6:00 9:15, MON-THU 11:30 2:45 6:00 Race-NA- THU (2/17) 7:00 Risen-NA- THU (2/17) 9:00 Everything About Her-NA- THU 1:45 4:35 7:20, FRI-THU 5:10 Jane Got A Gun- R- THU 11:00 (AM) The Finest Hours- PG13- THU 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15, FRI-SUN 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15 9:50, MON-THU 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15 How To Be Single-R- FRI-SUN 11:20 1:50 4:20 7:30 10:00, MON-THU 11:20 1:50 4:20 7:30 The Choice-PG13- THU 12:00 2:30 5:00 7:30, FRI-THU 12:00 2:30 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi-RTHU 12:15 3:30

The Witch-R- THU 7:50 10:20, FRI 12:20 2:50 5:20 7:50 10:20, SAT 12:20 2:50 5:20 7:50 10:20 Maltese Falcon: 75th Anniversary- PG13- SUN 2:00 Women Of Faith: An Amazing Joyful Journey- GTHU 7:00, SAT 12:55 Where To Invade Next- R- THU 11:30 2:10 4:30 6:50 9:40 Zoolander 2- THU 11:30 12:00 2:00 2:30 4:30 5:00 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 Pride And Prejudice And Zombies- PG13- THU 11:40 1:40 4:50 9:50 Kung Fu Panda 3- 2D THU 11:30 11:50 2:10 4:20 4:50 7:20 10:20 10:50, 3D 2:30 7:50.

The 5th Wave-PG13- THU 11:40 2:20 5:10 7:30 10:00 The Boy-PG13- THU 12:10 2:40 5:10 Ride Along 2- PG13- THU 11:30 2:10 4:40 7:20 9:50 Daddy’s Home- PG13- THU 11:30 2:20 4:50 7:30 9:40

1:50, 3D 11:30 4:50 9:50.

Anomalisa-R- THU (12:00 2:20 4:40) 7:40 10:00 Brooklyn-PG13- THU (11:30) Room-R- THU (2:00) Fifty Shades Of Black-R- THU (12:20 2:40 5:10) 7:50 10:20

THURSDAY NIGHTS WITH

MARK JOHNSTONE & LENNY CASTELLANOS 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

FRI | 2/12

LARRY & JENNY KEEL

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS FLAT JACKSON 9PM TICKETS AVAILABLE AT WWW.THEKEELS.EVENTBRITE.COM

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Deadpool- R- THU 7:00, FRI-SUN 1:30 4:30

7:15 7:30 9:50 10:00, MON 1:30 4:30 7:15, TUE 1:30 4:30 7:15 10:00, WED 1:30 4:30 7:15, THU 1:30 4:30 7:15 10:00 Pride And Prejudice And Zombies - PG13THU (1:15 4:15) 7:15, FRI-SUN 1:15 4:15, MON 1:15 4:15 7:00, TUE 1:15 4:15 7:00 9:45, WED 1:15 4:15 7:00, THU 1:15 4:15 7:00 9:45 Kung Fu Panda 3- PG 2D THU (4:00) 7:00, 3D THU 1:00. 2D FRI-SUN 1:00 6:45, 3D FRI-SUN 4:00 9:15, 2D MON 1:00 6:45, 3D MON 4:00.

2D TUE 1:00 6:45, 3D TUE 4:00 9:15. 2D WED 1:00 6:45, 3D WED 4:00. 2D THU 1:00 6:45, 3D THU 4:00.

Dirty Grandpa- R- THU (1:30 4:15)

SAT | 2/13

LARRY & JENNY KEEL

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS YUM YUM BEAST 9PM TICKETS AVAILABLE AT WWW.THEKEELS.EVENTBRITE.COM

SUN | 2/14

BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM

DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MON | 2/15

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • NO COVER

TUES | 2/16

HOWARD AHIA

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER WED | 2/17

RANDALL ROSPOND

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

NEW THIS WEEK

to save her brother after aliens all but obliterate humanity. 112 min.

DEADPOOL - R - Action/Adventure - The foulmouthed merc with a mouth finally jumps from the comics to the big screen. Stars Ryan Reynolds and a bunch of other people. 108 min.

THE BOY - PG13 - Horror - A nanny goes to work for an English family, then finds that the boy they want her to take care of is a doll. Or is he? 97 min.

HOW TO BE SINGLE - R - Comedy/Romance - Six New Yorkers learn how to be single. Stars Dakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson. 110 min.

THE CHOICE - PG13 - Drama/Romance - A pretty boy and pretty girl meet in a small coastal town. Then life happens. The end. 111 min.

MALTESE FALCON - NR - Crime/Drama - A special 75th anniversary screening of the noir classic starring Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor. 100 min.

DADDY’S HOME - PG13 - Comedy - A stepdad and the real dad compete for the affection of a woman’s kids. Stars Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. 96 min.

PRETTY IN PINK - PG13 - Romance/Comedy - A special 30th anniversary screening of the classic John Hughes film about a poor girl who must choose between two guys. Stars Molly Ringwald. 96 min.

RACE - PG13 - Sports/Biography - The story of African-American track star Jesse Owens competing for gold at the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany. 134 min.

RISEN - PG13 - Action/Bible - The story of Jesus’ resurrection, as told through Roman eyes. 107 min.

DIRTY GRANDPA - R- Comedy - Before getting married, some fool (Zac Efron) takes his pervert granddad (Robert De Niro) to Florida for spring break because life is meaningless. 102 min.

EVERYTHING ABOUT HER - NR - Comedy/ Drama - A successful businesswoman suffering from cancer hires a nurse, who then helps her reconnect with her son. 125 min.

THE WITCH - R - Horror - Really bad stuff happens to a family in New England in the 1630s. 90 min.

THE FINEST HOURS - PG13 - Action/Drama Chris Pine stars in this dramatization of a 1952 oil tanker accident that led to the most daring rescue in Coast Guard history. 117 min.

WHERE TO INVADE NEXT - R - Documentary - Michael Moore’s latest work playfully invades other nations to see if they have anything to teach us. 119 min.

HAIL CAESAR! - PG13 - Comedy/Musical - The Coen Brothers are back, this time with a story about a 1950s Hollywood fixer tasked with keeping big stars in line. 106 min.

WOMEN OF FAITH: AN AMAZING JOYFUL JOURNEY - G - Christian women talk about life and their faith. 100 min.

JANE GOT A GUN - R - Western - A woman (Natalie Portman) asks her former lover for help in rescuing her outlaw husband from apparently more dangerous outlaws trying to kill him. 98 min.

ZOOLANDER 2 - PG13 - Comedy - Models Derek and Hansel (Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson) return to fight some sort of fashion-related evil. 102 min.

NOW PLAYING 5TH WAVE - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - That actress who played Hit Girl in Kick Ass now has

JOY - PG13 - Biography/Drama - Jennifer Lawrence stars in this story of a woman who rises to the top of a vast business empire. 124 min.

KUNG FU PANDA 3 - PG - Animation - The Kung Fu Panda is back, presumably to do more kung fu and panda stuff. Voices by Jack Black and Angelina Jolie. 95 min.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES PG13 - Action/Horror - It’s Jane Austen’s classic tale of love that bridges social classes in 19th century England, but with zombies. 108 min.

142 HANA HWY a PAIA a 808.579.8085

THE REVENANT - R - Adventure/Drama Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy star in this very loose retelling of the time frontiersman Hugh Glass had to survive in the wilderness after being mauled by a bear and left for dead. 156 min.

RIDE ALONG 2 - PG13 - Action/Comedy Ben (Kevin Hart) and his soon-to-be brotherin-law James (Ice Cube) head to Miami to take down some drug dealer before Ben’s wedding. 101 min.

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Thirty-two years isn’t so long to wait for a sequel to Return of the Jedi, right? 135 min.

LAST CHANCE 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI - R - Action/Thriller - Michael Bay directs this dramatization of the 2012 attack on the US embassy in Benghazi, Libya. 115 min.

ANOMALISA - R - Drama/Animation - An ordinary man who can’t deal with people suddenly meets an extraordinary stranger. Written and directed by Charlie Kaufman. 90 min.

BROOKLYN - PG13 - Drama/Romance - An Irish immigrant falls in love after arriving in Brooklyn in the 1950s, then must choose between her new home and her old. 111 min.

EVENTS

Hip Hop as Concert Art

AMY O’NEAL-Opposing Forces TONIGHT 7:30 pm McCoy

CANCELLED

DIRTY SOUTH FRI Feb 12 6:00 pm Pavilion 18+ only

.Ş.$+, Keali‘i Reichel DQG +ćODX .H¶DODRNDPDLOH SAT & SUN Feb 13-14 7:30 pm Castle

From NBCs Last Comic Standing

ILIZA SHLESINGER THU Feb 18 7:30 pm Castle

The Merwin Conservancy presents

Hawai‘i: /DQJXDJH Matters FRI Feb 19 7:00 pm McCoy

FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK - R - Comedy - A college student becomes involved with a rich guy who likes unusual sexual practices. Stars Marlon Wayans and Kali Hawk. See this week’s movie review. 92 min.

ANGKOR WAT INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL FUNDRAISER

ROOM - R - Drama - A five-year-old named Jack and his mom escape from the cramped surroundings he’s known his whole life. 118 min.

STATEMENTS ON NATURE:

SAT Feb 20 McCoy - see MACC website for film titles & times GALLERY

A Survey of Printmaking Today

Thru 3/13 Tues - Sun 10 :00am - 5:00 pm FREE

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 21

Calendar

by Alex Mitchell & Shannon Kekahuna

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS OPPOSING FORCES - Thu. Feb 11. Opposing Forces is an exploration of feminine perceptions in our culture through the lens of hip hop, joined by the cast of five world-class “B-Boy” break dancers. $30.

7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Wailuku); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org LAHAINA 2ND FRIDAY TOWN PARTY - Fri. Feb 12. Come to the Westside, stroll Front Street and take in their restaurants, galleries and merchants. 5:30pm.

Lahaina Town, (Front Street, Lahaina); Mauifridays.com LARRY & JENNY KEEL WITH SPECIAL GUEST FLAT JACKSON - Fri. Feb 12. Larry and Jenny Keel return to Maui with special guests Flat Jackson. $20.

9pm. Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com CRAIG GASS - Sat. Feb 13. The comedian returns to Maui for two special shows during Valentine’s Day Weekend. 8am. Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; Hardrock.com/cafes/maui MAXIMUM MILLENNIUM - Fri. Feb 12 - Sat. Feb 13. Spinning the tracks of the first decade at Casanova’s. $10. 9:45pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com RASTA WEDNESDAY - Wed. Feb 10 - Thu. Feb 11.

Come chill with DJ Irie Dole. Always the best Reggae Jams from Paia to Kapalua. 10pm. Paradise Grill, (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700; Paradisegrillkb.com

STAGE ‘ULALENA - Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri. Delight in the richness of Hawaiian history and culture through music and dance. $29.99 Keiki / $59.99 adults. Children 5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com WARREN AND ANNABELLE’S MAGIC SHOW Daily (except Sun). Warren Gibson, one of the country’s best magicians, treats you to the best “close-up” magic and comedy in a beautiful 78-seat venue. $64 for regular, $104.50 for the Royal Flush package. 5pm. Warren and Annabelle’s, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-6244; Warrenandannabelles.com BURN’N LOVE - Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri. Maui Theatre’s Burn’n Love brings back the golden era of Elvis in Hawaii. Performer Darren Lee makes it easy for you to relive the days of Blue Hawaii. Tickets start at $59.99; Children 12 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com THE LEGENDARY WILLIE K & THE WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND - Thu. Feb 11. This Hawaiian phenomenon captivates audiences around the world with his astounding performances and remarkable array of musical styles. $60 Dinner and Show, $25 Show Only. Call for reservations. 6:30pm. The King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com KUPANAHA MAGIC SHOW - Thu. Watch “Maui’s Magical Family” team up with the Kupanaha dancers. See scintillating hula interpretations bring spectacular illusions, charm and culture to the stage.. $99.

4:45pm. Kupanaha Magic, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011; Kupanaha.com

22 FEBRUARY 11, 2016

fascinating life including his time on Maui. The romantic Pioneer Inn Courtyard is the setting for this unique and entertaining experience with a talk-back Twain session immediately following the performance. $20.

6pm. The Pioneer Inn, (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808276-4201; Pioneerinn-maui.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed. Come see the masters of Hawaiian music with his Slack Key Show Ohana: Peter deAquino, Sterling Seaton and dancer Wainani Kealoha. $37.99. 7:30pm.

Napili Kai Beach Resort Aloha Pavilion, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; Napilikai.com

MAUI FOODIE HALE KU‘AI OPEN MARKET - Thu. Feb 11. Features fresh assorted fruits and vegetables. Open to the public. Free. 11am. Hale Ku‘ai, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156.

JAPENGO ANNIVERSARY PRE FIXE MENU - Thu. Feb 11. Featuring specialties such as Sashimi-Style Hamachi & Watermelon with Sriracha tempura bits, tobiko, lychee pearls and Emporer’s ponzu, Grilled Local Mahi Mahi with young coconut salad, lemongrass beurre blanc and forbidden rice and Flaming Pina Colada Crème with roasted pineapple, upside down cake and coconut crème. $55. 5pm. Japengo, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com PRIME RIB DINNER - Thu. Feb 11. Feast in this combo entree of Angus Beef masterfully roasted by their chefs. This dish is paired with Caesar Salad and your choice of two sides, followed by their housemade Ali‘i Kula Lavender Cheesecake $39-45.

5:30pm. Ocean Pool Bar and Grill, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com SUNSET DINNER - Thu. Sit back, relax and take in the beautiful Maui sunset while enjoying a special three-course meal. The menu includes a glass of sparkling wine and an amuse bouche from the Chef. $50.

5:30pm. The Banyan Tree, (1 Ritz-Carton Dr., Kapalua); 808-665-7096; Ritzcarlton.com/banyantree ALL YOU CAN EAT BREAKFAST BUFFET - Fri. Feb 12. Come to Kono’s and enjoy $10 Breakfast Buffet and $14 Bottomless Mimosas every day of the week. $12. 8:00am. Kono’s on the green, (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com WINE TASTING - Fri. Feb 12. Sample great wines perfect for sharing with friends. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com PLANTATION HOUSE WINE SERIES - Thu. At Plantation House, the monthly wine series is back with specials from selected featured wineries each month. Chef Jojo Vasquez will create specialty-pairing menus for each monthly series and phenomenal specials will be available on selected premium bottles.

2pm. Plantation House, (2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua); 808-669-6299; Theplantationhouse.com FRIDAY ISLAND STYLE SEAFOOD BUFFET - Fri. Start with the best of the Pacific Ocean’s bounty and add fresh locally grown produce prepared by Makena’s culinary dream team. Here, you’ll enjoy an amazing buffet of five stations that feature artfully-prepared seafood, island-style dishes and desserts. $55 Adult; $30 Children; Free for children under five. Call for reservations. 5:30pm. Molokini Bar and Grille, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com

ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Fri. Check out PWF’s Island Rhythms Sunset Cocktail Cruise with local reggae star Marty Dread. $62.95. 4:30pm. Pacific Whale Foundations Discovery Center, (Ma‘alaea Harbor Shops); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org

JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - Sat. Feb 13. Join Japengo’s sushi chef in their chic sushi lounge. Learn how to create Japengo’s signature sushi rolls from scratch, with hands-on instruction from Chef Jin Hosono and Japengo’s team of expert sushi chefs. Maximum 20 people per class, reservations are required. 3pm. Japengo, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com

MARK TWAIN - Fri. Enjoy a performance of An evening with Mark Twain by Rick Scheideman. With humor and wisdom Mark Twain shares aspects of his

SUNDAY HAWAIIAN MUSIC JAM SESSION - Sun. Feb 14. How do you take Sunday Brunch and make it better? By listening to Hawaii’s Most Talented Musi-

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AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

Valentine’s Day Party w/ DJ Blast, 10pm

Sexy Sundaze w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm

PURE: Top 40, House & EDM w/DJ Big Mike

House Party Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze

Service Industry NIght House Music w/DJ Big Mike

Maximum Millenium w/ DJ Blast,10pm

Remix The Earth Volume7, 9:30pm

WED- Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm $10 cover

Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos, 6:30pm no cover

Larry & Jenny Keel w/ Flat Jackson, 9pm

Larry & Jenny Keel w/ Yum Yum Beast, 9pm

MON- Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7pm, TUE- Howard Ahia, 6:30pm, WED-Randall Rospond, 6:30pm

Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carrol 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:-9pm; no cover

SIN

DJ Bo

Screw Cupid Party, 9pm

Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm

Pub Quiz, 7pm DJ Jamo, 10pm

Pub Quiz, 7pm DJ Jamo, 10pm

Pub Quiz, 7pm DJ Jamo, 10pm

Pub Quiz, 7pm DJ Jamo, 10pm

Flip Night!

10pm

‘Lust Not Love’ Red Dress Party, 9pm

I-Drive

I-Drive

Willie K w/ Mick Fleetwood

Fuzzbox Valentine’s DJ Party, 10pm, 21+

Latin Night w/ Danny Q, 10pm, 21+, $8 cover

BLACK ROCK LOUNGE Sheraton Maui Resort, 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy, 661-0031

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St #160, Lahaina - 667-0988

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

DOWN THE HATCH 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

cians of course. $50/adult $25/children. 10am. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com MAUIANO’S PIZZA BACKYARD BRUNCH Sun. Enjoy delicious fritatas, paninis, breakfast pies and BBQ specials. 10am. Mauiano’s Pizzeria, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0791; Mauianos.com CHARLEY’S BLOODY SUNDAYS - Sun. The best and only Bloody Mary bar on Maui. 7am. Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com KO SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun. Enjoy Chef Tylun Pang’s healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Go early–the laulau special is first-come, first-served and does sell out. 5pm. Ko, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-2210; Korestaurant.com UNCORKED - Sun. Wine series hosted by Sommelier Vanessa Lampson. Tastings from a variety of regions around the globe such as Sicily, the Loire Valley, the Iberian Peninsula and America’s West Coast.

Enjoy light bites from Cane and Canoe’s menu developed by Sous Chef Davis Hood created specifically to pair with each week’s wines. Price includes three glasses of wine and light appetizers. Advanced reservations required. $35. 5pm. Cane and Canoe BarMontage Kapalua, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-6626681; Montagehotels.com/kapalua WINE SOCIAL - Sun & Mon. Book ahead of time for this fabulous weekly event. Sixteen people will enjoy three award-winning wines, one bite to eat and great conversation with new friends. 5pm. Pulehu An Italian Grill, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Pulehurestaurantmaui.com BURGERS N’ BREWS - Mon. Feb 15. Featuring a selection of burgers using locally sourced meats and produce paired with Maui Brewing Company beer.

5:30pm. Ocean Pool Bar and Grill, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com TACO TUESDAY - Tue. Feb 16. Enjoy street-style tacos every Tuesday and save. Buy two for $3–beef or tofu with cilantro, onions and Adoboloco Hot Sauce.

8am. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com MAUI VEGETARIAN FOOD COOKING CLASS - Tue. Feb 16. See (and sample) how Chef Mama T uses local,

MON-Movies Games Music 10pm, TUE- Tequila Tuesdays w/ Music,10pm, WED-Wine Down w/ Music,10pm

“It’s A Love Thing w/ DJ Bliss, 10pm

SIN w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

Service Industry Night w/ 50% off menu & drink specials, 10pm

Soundlab

organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast and desserts. No registration required. Free. 5pm. Down to Earth, (305 Dairy Road, Kahului); 808-877-2661; Downtoearth.org LUAU DINNER SHOW - Tue. The Ka‘anapali Beach Club is proud to announce their new luau dinner show– Huaka‘I: Journey through Polynesia. The hula performances are beautiful and all will enjoy the fire knife dance finale. 6pm. Ka‘anapali Beach Club, (104 Ka‘anapali Shores Pl.); 808-661-2000; Diamondresorts.com

ART SCENE NATIONAL CALL FOR ARTISTS - Thu. Jan 14 - Sun. May 15. Artist entries sought for Hawaii National Parks 2016 Centennial Juried Exhibition. This will be Schaefer’s first national call to artists to submit their work for consideration by jurors. Applications will be accepted online. Schaefer International Gallery, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; Callforentry.org MARTY WOLFF - Mon. Feb 1 - Mon. Feb 29. His show will be a mix of his photography of marine and land images developed on paper and metal. 9am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org THE CESERE BROTHERS JOHN AND DAN Mon. Feb 1 - Mon. Feb 29. View phenomenal art of underwater photography from Maui and around the world. 9am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org STATEMENTS ON NATURE: A SURVEY OF PRINTMAKING TODAY - Thu. Featuring a nationally selected collection of work by contemporary printmakers, this exhibit is sure to be eye-opening. Techniques will span both traditional and contemporary processes from the 18th to the 21st century. 10am.

Schaefer International Gallery, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; Mauiarts.org WHALES AND WINTER MIGRATION - Thu. Explore Maui and the winter migration of humpback whales to Hawaii waters with master photographer Douglas Jay Hoffman. 3pm. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/Kapalua-Bay WATERCOLORIST MORT LUBY - Thu. Feb 11. Mort Luby paints in oil and watercolor. The scope of his work encompasses everything from life drawings to huge oil

paintings of historical scenes. 5pm. Maui Hands Makawao, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com LAHAINA ARTS ASSOCIATIONS MAUI MASTERS INVITATIONAL SHOW - Fri. Feb 12. Featuring over 20 renowned artist and seven participating galleries to display Master artwork. Proceeds will be donated to Lahaina Arts Association programs. 5pm.

Maui Masters Gallery, (900 Front St., Lahaina); .

FRIDAY NIGHT ART NIGHT - Fri. Feb 12. Lahaina Printsellers Ltd. invites you to visit our gallery, for live music and Mai Tais while they showcase their artist of the week. Free. 6pm. Lahaina Printsellers Ltd., (764 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-667-5815; Printsellers.com GREG LAROCK - Sat. Feb 13 - Sun. Feb 21. Maui art lovers relate to his realism style and painterly brush strokes that awaken the beauty of the simplest scene.

8am. Lahaina Harbor, (Wharf Street, Lahaina).

RICK J. DELANTY - Sat. Feb 13 - Sun. Feb 21.

Maui art lovers will get their first glance to see Rick Delanty’’s landscapes and seascapes. 8am. Lahaina Harbor, (Wharf Street, Lahaina).

MACARIO PASCAL - Sat. Feb 13 - Sun. Feb 21. Artworks that glow with tropical light, island foliage and local life are the hallmark of this award-winning Maui artist. 8am. Lahaina Harbor, (Wharf Street, Lahaina).

ANDY EVANSEN - Sat. Feb 13 - Sun. Feb 21.

Andy Evansen is a much sought-after workshop instructor who paints and teaches watercolor painting internationally. 8am. Village Galleries Lahaina, (120 Dickenson St., Lahaina); 808-6614402; Villagegalleriesmaui.com MAUI OPEN STUDIOS 2016 - Sat. Feb 13. Visit participating artists, see glassblowing demonstrations and peek inside Hui’s jewelry, ceramic and printmaking studios. Free. 11am. Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave.); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com LAHAINA ARTS SOCIETY’S FINE ART FAIR Sat. Under the shade of Lahaina’s famous Banyan Tree, check out over 50 select Maui artists. Listen to live music and find unique treasures including paintings, ceramics, jewelry, photography, glass art, wood carvings, baskets and more. Free. 9am. Banyan Tree Fine Art Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahainaarts.com

MON - Da Ukulele Boyz, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz at the cat 7:30-10pm WED-Benny Uyetake 7-9

Pub Quiz, 7pm DJ Jamo, 10pm

MON-Noa Zeb, TUE- Willie K w/ Mick Fleetwood, WED-Cole Sulenta

PAMELA NESWALD - Tue. Feb 16. Bring your friends and family to see how the magic is created by this talented local painter. 10am. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery and Old Jail Gallery, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahaina-arts.org MAUI PLEIN AIR BEACH AND SUNSET PAINTING - Wed. Feb 17. Artist will paint the sunset, beach scenes and panoramic island views of Lana’i and Molokai. 8am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com

CALENDAR OF EVENTS THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11 FREE SPAY OR NEUTER CLINIC FOR CATS Thu. Feb 11. If you have a pet kitty or neighborhood cats that need fixing, take advantage of this opportunity. Appointments are limited. 8am. Maui Humane Society, (1350 Mehameha Loop, Pu‘unene); 808877-3680; Mauihumanesociet.org YEAR OF THE MONKEY CELEBRATION - Thu. Feb 11. Follow the lions of Au’s Shaolin Arts as they bring happiness and good wishes for the New Year.

4:30pm. Pi‘ilani Village Shopping Center, (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-874-5151.

BELLY DANCE CLASSES - Thu, Tue & Wed. These classes focus on strength, flexibility and muscle control as a solid foundation for dance. Sweat, stretch, and strengthen the muscles you need for snappy hips and fluid movements. Thursday and Tuesday classes are beginner and Wednesday is choreography. $17.

9am. Afterglow Yoga, (1942 Main St., Wailuku); 808268-9723; Afterglowyoga.com KI-AIKIDO PUBLIC INTRODUCTORY COURSE - Thu. Feb 11 - Thu. Feb 25. Anyone interested in the practice of Aikido is invited to try a four-week introductory course given by the instructors of Maui Ki-Aikido.

Participants receive an instructional book and can apply the fee to membership if they decide to join the dojo. $40. 6:30pm. Maui Ki-Aikido Shunshinkan Dojo, (194 S. Market St., Wailuku); 808-357-5172 or 808244-5165; Mauiaikido.com THE BENOITS - Thu. Check out the Benoits as they perform their sweet island jazz at Whalers Village.

7pm. Whalers Village, (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808661-4567; Whalersvillage.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 23

24 FEBRUARY 11, 2016

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JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Rick Glencross

Guest Band & Dancing

Guest Band & Dancing

Guest Band & Dancing

MON- Soundlab, TUE & WED-Fulton Tashombe

Ma’a, 6:30pm

Willie K, 9pm

Ma’a, 6:30pm

JD & Harry 3-5pm, Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm

MON- Benny & Rock 6pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON-Trivia w/ Niki Guy, 7pm

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TBA

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA

Live Music, 6-9pm

Live Music, 6-9pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Makai Jazz Group, 6:30pm

Soul Kitchen Big Band 7-9pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12 HAWAIIAN ISLANDS HUMPBACK WHALE NATIONAL MARINE SANCTUARY WHALE TALK - Fri. Join our knowledgeable staff and volunteers as they present informative facts about humpback whales. 11am. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary, (726 S. Kihei Rd.); 808879-2818; Hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov YIN YOGA WITH SOOKIE KUNST - Friday. Bring a yoga or exercise mat and two firm beach towels for props.

Suggested donation is $12 per class. Free for Pacific Cancer Foundation clients. 8am. Waipulani Park, (Kihei).

hidden Honokowai Valley, an area closed to the public.

9am. North Sugar Cane Train Station, (Pu‘ukoli Road, Ka‘anapali); 808-249-8811; Volunteersonvacation.org UKULELE STRUMMING WORKSHOP - Sat. Learn unique ukulele strums to sing-along songs as you “Play Along with Mele Fong.” 10am. Bailey House Museum, (2375 Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-3326; Mauimuseum.org

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14

Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 6-9pm, no cover NFL Football Specials

MON-Service Industry Night 5pm-close, WED- Open Mic,10pm-close

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Love Songs, Dancing & Dinner, 7pm

Celtic Tigers, 7-9:30pm

MON-Joyce & Gord, 7pm, TUE-Magic Show w/ Clarke Tuitele, 6:30pm, WED-Joel Katz 5:15pm, Willie K Dinner Show,6:30pm

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16 FREE UKULELE LESSONS - Tue. Free ukulele lessons, because it’s never too late to learn how to play the ukulele.

Free. 5:45pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com BINGO - Tue. Enjoy bingo with friends and family.

7pm. Dog and Duck Irish Pub, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669; Theworldfamousdogandduck.com

“ART AS NATURE” YOGA & WRITING RETREAT - Sun. Feb 14 - Sun. Feb 21. Tap the creative mana of Maui and give yourself seven days to retreat into nature. Each day will include yoga, writing exercises, and adventures in nature. 11am. Kipahulu Maui, (Kipahulu, Hana); 808-248-8974; Kipahulu.org

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17

COCONUT WEAVING - Fri. Join Bolly Helekahi for the 2015 Hana No‘eau cultural demonstration series! Bring your family and friends and learn the ancient art of Hawaiian coconut weaving. Free. 1pm. Kipahulu District of Haleakala National Park, (Kula); 808-572-4400; Nps.gov/hale

CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION - Sun. Feb 14. Join us center court for our annual high energy celebration with a traditional display of martial arts, firecrackers and colorful lion dance. 2:30pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

UKULELE MIX PLATE - Wed. Mele Ukulele presents some of the island's best ukulele performers.

Live. 6pm. The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com

WAILUKU FRIDAY FARMER’S MARKET - Fri. Come to Pau Hana Kava Cafe for local, organic, food, beverages and handmade goods. Free. 4pm. Pau Hana Kava Cafe, (2070 W. Vineyard St., Wailuku); 808-298-6926.

CLASSIC CAR SHOW - Sun. Feb 14. Check out the best autos on island with Maui Classic Cruisers.

10am. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13

KEIKI IN THE KITCHEN COOKING CLASS - Sun. Feb 14. Join Whole Foods for kid-friendly fun cooking class.

Perfect for keiki six and older. Space is limited. RSVP required. Free. 2pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com

ALOHA FRIDAY MUSIC - Fri. 11:30am. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com

YEAR OF THE FIRE MONEY CELEBRATION Sat. Feb 13. Featuring entertainment and fun for the whole family. 9am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com FRIENDS OF HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK SEEKS VOLUNTEERS - Sat. Feb 13 - Tue. Feb 16. Enthusiastic and fit hikers are sought to volunteer at Haleakala Crater to help our national park care for native vegetation, volunteers will be staying at Holua Cabin Saturday and Sunday nights. Haleakala National Park, (Kula); 808-572-4400.

MALAMA MAUI NUI PROGRAM SUPPORT DAY Sat. Feb 13. MMN staff and volunteers will solidify paint by mixing it with bagasse for proper disposal. This program diverts reusable materials from the landfill and prevents harmful chemicals from leaching into the environment. Free. 8am. Malama Maui Nui Baseyard, (E. Camp 5 Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2524; MalamaMauiNui.org YOGA FOR EVERY BODY - Sat & Wed. Enjoy a free, open to the public yoga class in Kihei with certified yoga instructor Gylian Solay. Free. 8am. Gylian Solay, (Waipuilani Park, Kihei); 808-344-8068; Gyliansolay.com SALSA NIGHT - Sat. Enjoy the Smokehouse’s favorite three $4 drinks specials; well drinks, tequila, and fireballs with a long night of dancing. 10pm. Smokehouse BBQ Bar and Grill, (930 Wainee St., Lahaina); 808-667-7005; Smokehousebbqbarandgrillmaui.com VOLUNTEER: MALAMA HONOKOWAI - Sat. Volunteer with Malama Honokowai and visit the beautiful and

FREE ZUMBA - Sun. At Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit Studio! 9am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com YIN YOGA WITH SOOKI KUNST - Sun. All props and mats are provided. Suggested donation is $15 per class. Free for Pacific Cancer Foundation clients.

3pm. Lumeria Maui, (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-8877; Lumeriamaui.com

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15 DOORWAY INTO LIGHT PRESENTS JOURNEY WITH DEATH - Mon. Feb 15. $25. 6:30pm. Temple of Peace Maui, (575 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-5220.

STORY OF HAWAII - Mon. Watch Bryant Neal as he combines history, geography and cartography of the Hawaiian Islands to create an educational and entertaining experience. 10am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com HULA SHOW BY TE TIARE PATITIFA - Mon. Enjoy a true Hawaiian hula show with Te Tiara Patitifa. 10:30am.

Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; Queenkaahumanucenter.com MONDAY FUN RUN - Mon. Starts at 5pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808872-3310; Wholefoodsmarket.com

SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - Wed. You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back. Road bikes recommended. Free. 6:55am. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; Southmauibicycles.com

VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION: O‘O FARM - Wed. Work on an exquisite organic farm in the misting forest of Waipoli in Kula. Wear sturdy shoes and bring a light jacket that you do not mind getting a little dirty, plus water and sunscreen. Gloves and gardening tools provided. Please call 24 hours in advance to sign up. Free. 8:45am. O‘o Farms, (651 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-249-8811; Oofarm.com

LIVE MUSIC WEST MAUI CANE AND CANOE BAR-MONTAGE KAPALUA - Thu, Nightly Entertainment 6-9pm; Fri, Nightly Entertainment 6-9pm; Sun, Nightly Entertainment 6-9pm; Mon, Nightly Entertainment 6-9pm; Tue, Nightly Entertainment 6-9pm; Wed, Nightly Entertainment 6-9pm; (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-6626681; Montagehotels.com/kapalua CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Thu, Adam Masterson 7:30-10pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; Mon, Dave Carrol 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jordon Cuddy 7:3010pm; Wed, Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988; Captainjacksmaui.com CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Brooks Maguire 4:30-10:30pm; Fri, Joe Benedett and Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; Sat, Scott Freeman 4:3010:30pm; Sun, Brooks Maguire 4:30-10:30pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-10:30pm; Tue, Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Wed, Joe Benedett and Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855; Cheeseburgerland.com CHEESEBURGER ISLAND STYLE - Thu, Mark Burnett 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Brooks Maguire 5:308:30pm; Sat, Brooks Maguire 5:30-8:30pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8990.

COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Benny Uytake 7:30-10pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; Coolcatcafe.com DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Mon, Danyel Alana 6-8:30pm; Thu, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Thu, Peter D and Garrett Probst (Ukulele Boys) 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm; Fri, Damon Parrillo and Tim Osbourne 6-8:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana 3-5pm; Sat, Damon Parrillo and Ron Hetten 6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Sun, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Mon, Danyel Alana 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Tue, Roy Kato and Guest 6-8:30pm; Wed, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Wed, Puhi Ko 6-8:30pm; (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900; Dukesmaui.com FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Fri, I-Drive 7-9:30pm; Sat, I-Drive 7-9:30pm; Sun, Paul Marchetti Band 7-9:30pm; Mon, Noa Zeb 7-9:30pm; Wed, Cole Sulenta 7-9:30pm; (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425; Fleetwoodsonfrontst.com HULA GRILL - Fri, Derick Sebastian 11am-1pm; Fri, Maa and Aloha Friday Hula Show 2-5pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato and Friends 6-9pm; (2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Bldg. P1, Lahaina); 808-667-6636; hulagrillkaanapali.com JAPENGO - Thu, Kanoa Kukaua Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Elaine Ryan 5:30-7:30pm; Sat, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Margie Hart 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kanoa Kukaua 6:308:30pm; Wed, Josh Sumibcay 5:30-7:30pm; (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4909; Japengomaui.com JAVA JAZZ AND SOUP NUTZ - Thu, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Farzad and Mike Madden 7-10pm; Sat, Farzad and Mike Madden 7-10pm; Sun, Farzad and Mike Madden 7-10pm; Mon, The Soundlab 7-10pm; Tue, Paul Bunuan and Gilbert Emata 7-10pm; Wed, Paul Bunuan and Gilbert Emata 7-10pm; (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-667-0787; Javajazz.net KIMO’S RESTAURANT - Thu, Maa 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Maa 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Jd and Harry 3-5pm; Mon, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Tue, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm; Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; Kimosmaui.com LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Thu, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Joseph Chee 7:30-9:30pm; Wed, Scotty Rotten 7:309:30pm; (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700; Lahainapizzacompany.com LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm; (843 Wainee St., Lahaina); 808-667-6655; Lahainasportsbar.com LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret and Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD and Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD and Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret and Josh 3-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495; Leilanis.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 25

www.brownpapertickets.com/event/2503450

Craig Gass, from King of Queens, Sex and The City and now heard on Family Guy, returns to Maui for 2 special shows on Valentine’s Day Weekend!

YOU KNOW CRAIG AS: MIRANDA’S “GLAZED DONUT” BOYFRIEND ON HBO’S SEX AND THE CITY! “THE NEW GUY” AT KEVIN JAMES’ WORK ON CBS’S KING OF QUEENS! REGULAR ON THE HOWARD STERN SHOW! NOW DOING VOICES ON FAMILY GUY AND AMERICAN DAD ON FOX! FEATURED PERFORMER ON THE ROAST OF GENE SIMMONS AND THE ROAST OF DEE SNIDER!

SERVING APPETIZERS & FULL BAR MAUI | 900 FRONT ST. | +1-808-667-7400 HARDROCK.COM

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26 FEBRUARY 11, 2016

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FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PARADISE GRILL

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina - 662-3700

Ladies Night, 10pm

MAUIANO’S 900 Front St, Lahaina, 667-0791

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku - 243-9351

Wiggle w/ DJ Prince Valium 10pm

Bounce w/DJ MYK Carone, 10pm

Garrett Probst 10pm

DJ Lobstah 10pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Jamie Gallo 4-6pm, DJ Big Mike 10pm

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini 10pm

Tom Conway 4-6pm, DJ LX 10pm

Viva La Rumba 4-6pm, Sunday Night Lounge 10pm

MON - Kanoa 4pm & DJ Big Mike SIN 10pm, TUE - Jon Bowser 4-6pm, WED- Ladies Night Out DJ LX & JayP

Free Pool

Natalie Nicole Band, 8:30pm

Homestead, 9pm

Valentine’s Day w/ Arly & Jay, 4pm

MON-Martini Monday, TUE- Free Pool, WED- Free Karaoke

FREE Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

John Grover Band, $4 cover (8pm-midnite)

FREE Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Louise Lambert Trio, 7:30-10:30pm

Capt Dan, 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

MON-WED-Karaoke, 8pm-close

TBA, 10pm

Free Karaoke, 8pm

TBA, 10pm

Free Karaoke

TUE- Free Karaoke, WED- Dinner Music 6-8pm

THE CLIFF DIVE GRILL - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:308pm; Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; Sat, Larry Golis and Hollis Lee 6:30am-8:30pm; Mon, Larry Golis 6:308pm; Tue, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; Wed, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm; (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031; Cliffdivegrillmaui.com

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB AND GRILL - Thu, Far West 6-9pm; Fri, Codae Music 6-9pm; Sat, David Kaye 6-9pm; Mon, Nestor Ugale 6-9pm; (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808; luluslahaina.com

CAPISCHE - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; (555 Kaukahi Rd., Wailea); 808879-2224; Capische.com

MERRIMAN’S - Thu, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400; Merrimanshawaii.com OCEAN POOL BAR AND GRILL - Fri, Live Music 4-7pm; Mon, Live Music 4-7pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com OHANA SEAFOOD BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Fri, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Sat, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Sun, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Mon, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Tue, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; Wed, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; (104 Ka‘anapali Shores Pl.); 808-667-1337.

PAILOLO BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Damien Awai 5-8pm; Mon, Damien Awai 5-8pm; Tue, Damien Awai 5-8pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com PAU HUAKA’I TIKI BAR - Fri, Josh Sumibcay 5-8pm; Mon, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; (180 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-1000; Kaanapalibeach.hyatt.com PIONEER INN GRILL AND BAR - Thu, Greg di Piazza and Alana Cini 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm; (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-3636; Pioneerinnmaui.com SANGRITA GRILL AND CANTINA - Thu, Live Flamenco Music by Indio and Avi 6:30-8:30pm; (2580 Kekaa Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-6000; Sangritagrill.com SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Thu, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; Fri, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; Sat, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; Sun, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; Mon, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; Tue, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; Wed, Hawaiian Entertainment 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-1500; Seahousemaui.com

Welo & Kekai 10:30am-1:30pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA - Thu, Wilmont Kahaialii and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; Fri, Brian Massa and Meryl 5-7pm; Sat, Steve Grimes and Gang 5-7pm; Sat, Evan Shulman 6:30-9pm; Sun, Jazz with “Two Cats” Brian Como, Mike and Friends 5-7pm; Tue, Summer Macedo and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; Tue, Tori Dixon and Shawn McLaughlin 5-7pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com

MAUIANO’S ITALIAN GRILLE - Fri, Nestor Ugale 6-8pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0791; Mauianos.com

MON-Open Mic 10pm, TUE- SIN, WED-Reggae w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm

SOUTH MAUI

DIAMOND’S ICE BAR AND GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-10pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808874-9299; Diamondsicebar.com DOG AND DUCK IRISH PUB - Thu, Pub Quiz 7-9:30pm; Sun, Live Music 6-9pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669; Theworldfamousdogandduck.com GANNON’S - Thu, Classic Rock Live 5-7pm; Fri, Jazz Fridays 5-7pm; (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-8758080; Gannonsrestaurant.com

TUE- Power Up Comedy Tour 9pm, WEDPiano w Katya

4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sun, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Sun, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Mon, Kanoa Louis 1-3pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Joshua Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Kanoa and Jessica 1-3pm; Tue, Stay Eazy 4-6pm; Tue, Duane Feig 7-9pm; Wed, Andrew Corradini 1-3pm; Wed, Alika Nako’oka 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret Roback 7-9pm; (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322; Monkeypodkitchen.com MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Makai Jazz Group 7-9pm; Fri, Soul Kitchen 7-9pm; Sat, Love Songs, Dancing and Dinner with Louise Lambert and Merika 7-10pm; Sun, Celtic Tigers 7-9:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 7-9pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:156:30pm; Wed, Willie K 6:30-8:30pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com PITA PARADISE - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 6:309pm; (34 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-879-7177; Pitaparadisehawaii.com

HAUI’S LIFE IS A BEACH - Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Tue, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Wed, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010; Mauibars.com

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Steve Mantelli 4-6pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; Southshoretikilounge.com

KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Fri, Music by Sierra and Sal 5:30-7:30pm; Sat, Easy Listening with Neto 5:307:30pm; Sun, Omar and Friends 5-8pm; Tue, Easy Listening with Neto 5:30-7:30pm; Wed, Acoustic Classical Guitar with Jim Spektor 5:30-7:30pm; (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com

THREE’S BAR AND GRILL - Thu, Salsa Dancing with Barb and Ernesto 8-11pm; Fri, JAZZ NIGHT WITH Louise Lambert 7:30-9pm; Sat, Live Solo Guitar With Cpt. Dan Saunders 5:30-9pm; Tue, Power Up Comedy with Chino LeForge 5:30-9pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; Threesbarandgrill.com

MAKENA BEACH AND GOLF RESORT - Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Tue, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm; (5400 Makena Alanui); 808874-1111; Makenaresortmaui.com MAUI BREWING COMPANY KIHEI - Thu, Sunset Session with Andrew Corradini 5-8pm; Mon, Sunset Session with Johnny Ringo 5-8pm; Tue, Sunset Session with Levi Poasa 5-8pm; (605 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-213-3002; Mauibrewingco.com MOLOKINI BAR AND GRILLE MAKENA RESORT - Thu, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Fri, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Sat, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Sun, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Mon, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Tue, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; Wed, Live Entertainment 6-9:30pm; (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; Makenaresortmaui.com MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Thu, Keola and Datguyz 1-3pm; Thu, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Thu, Mike Finkiewicz and Craig Soderberg 7-9pm; Fri, Stay EZ 1-3pm; Fri, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Nako’oka 7-9pm; Sat, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sat, Brian Haia

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CASANOVA ITALIAN RESTAURANT AND DELI - Sun, Mana’o Hana Hou Radio presents Upcounty Acoustic Style 2-5pm; (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808572-0220; Casanovamakawao.com CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON Thu, Mark Johnstone and Lenny Castellanos 6:308:30pm; Mon, Charleys Live Band Open Mic and Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Randall Rospond 6:30-8:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; charleysmaui.com FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm; (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989; Flatbreadcompany.com MAUI YOGA SHALA PAIA - Fri, Kirtan and Mantra Meditation 7-9pm; Wed, Indian Music and Dance 6:30-8:30pm; (381 Baldwin Ave, Paia); 808-2834123; Maui-yoga.com STOPWATCH SPORTSBAR AND GRILL - Thu, Karaoke with Dudley 9pm-12am; Sat, Karaoke with Dudley 9pm-12am; (1127 Makawao Ave.); 808-5721380; Stopwatchsportsbargrill.com

CENTRAL MAUI BEACH BUMS BBQ AND GRILL - Thu, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Sun, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286; Beachbumshawaii.com KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Fri, Local Live Music 5-8:30pm; Sun, Local Live Music 5-8:30pm; (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001; Alehouse.net STEEL HORSE SALOON - Sun, Arly and Jay Play for Valentine’s Day 4-10pm; (1234 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-245-2206.

THE KING KAMEHAMEHA GOLF CLUB - Thu, Amy Hanaiali’i Gilliom 6-10pm; Thu, The Legendary Willie K And The Warehouse Blues Band 6:3010pm; (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808249-0033; Kamehamehagolf.com WATERCRESS - Fri, Pauhana 6-9pm; Sun, Karaoke 8pm-2am; Mon, Karaoke 8pm-2am; Tue, Karaoke 8pm2am; (270 Waiehu Beach Rd., Wailuku); 808-243-9351.

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 27

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Be a surfer this week. You don’t just ride one wave and call it a day. You surf it as far as it’ll take you, then paddle back out, gamely seeking the next promising swell.

What you’ve been doing lately is akin to giving up because the experience wasn’t perfect; it’s like falling off the wave, and instead of setting yourself up for more,.

So things didn’t work out how you (unrealistically) expected. Get back out there. Until you do, you’re missing out on some good times. When the next perfect breaker surges by, make sure you’re ready to hop on.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Your perception of time is dramatically different from almost everyone else’s. Perhaps you’re not aware that its passage is more fluid, malleable, and dynamic for you than for other people. We don’t view it quite that flexibly, even if we wish we could. Half a year, to you, could be a blip or an eternity–or, paradoxically, both– whereas for your friends and neighbors it usually just feels like about six months. Be sensitive to this difference. I think you’re a lot closer to the truth—that time is all about how we experience it. But some of those you know aren’t quite up to that level. Luckily, you have the ability to transform someone’s eon into an hour, or to help someone slow down and enjoy a few short, precious moments this week. Please use it.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

This week I wave in your direction the weary cliché: If you don’t learn from your history, you’re doomed to repeat it. Maybe you need to, sadly. But I think there’s a chance you could actually skip reviewing this lesson.

Yes, this scenario–that looks shockingly similar to one you experienced a few years back–is actually that same exact thing. You’ve been deluding yourself that this time might be different. It won’t. Stop telling yourself fairy tales, no matter how enchanting they are. Or, if you absolutely insist, go through it again. It’s your choice.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: C–Woody Harrelson 2: B–Joseph E. Cardoza 3: D–Hawaii Health Systems Corp.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

You’re about to enter the ring against the most brutal, vicious, and grotesquely large opponent you’ve ever faced. What’s more, you’re blindfolded, hobbled and naked–whereas he’s wearing armor and relatively unencumbered. Wishing you luck on this foolhardy venture would just be mean. However, I’m happy to report that you don’t need it. Every giant has his Achilles’ Heel, and you know exactly where this one’s is. Just be careful: Don’t fall into the trap of trying to play the same game he is. You’d just plain lose. Stick to your strategy, don’t pull any punches, get in and out quick. If it’s over before you know it, you’ll have one. If you give yourself time to think, you’re screwed.

tattoos by Rachel G

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

What you’re doing now–for whatever reason–is like taking a polite, dainty sip when you’re practically dying of dehydration. Slake your thirst. No one’s stopping you, except yourself, and for no good reason. There’s plenty more of whatever it is you need. Don’t let frugality, modesty, or prudence keep you from getting the stuff you desire. Anyone else who might have a say in the matter is giving you the green light, so that’s not a factor. Drop whatever it is that’s holding you back from helping yourself, and do just that: Help yourself, generously.

The curse of your innate facility for multiple perspectives is that one of them is invariably negative and depressing. When viewed through this particular filter, your reflection can disgust you. What’s especially messed-up is that the world is all too willing to validate this internal naysayer by agreeing: “Yeah, you dosuck!” It’s tricky, but you have to learn to ignore the “evidence.” Nothing’s that simple and black and white. You’re neither saint nor demon, but somewhere in between. Your inner critic will have an especially loud mouth this week. Don’t engage with that shit by agreeing or disagreeing. It’s a little right and a little wrong, and not at all worth listening to.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

If I were you, I’d spend the whole week in bed. It’s not that anything particularly bad will happen to you out in the real world, just nothing nearly as good as what can happen between the sheets. I wish this was about getting laid, but it’s more about getting broadband access to your subconscious, and retrieving the backlog of messages stored there: Dream. Catch up on lost sleep and then some this week. Put in some good REM time. If you do, when you eventually emerge from your hibernation next week, I expect you to be a different–and, hopefully, more insightful–person.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

It’s simply a trick of perspective. You know, like the low-tech effects in Lord of the Rings? They spaced out actors and objects in such a way that little things appeared big, or vice versa. What you’ve actually got in front of you is one relatively tiny problem or concern, and one much more important one, only you’ve been giving them equal weight in your head, because they look about the same to you. Not so. It’s a metaphorical trompe l’oeuil. Get some perspective–a viewpoint that’s radically different from your current one. Figure out what’s really important and what’s just petty bullshit, so you can give each matter its proper due.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Did you notice? I managed to skip my traditional Valentine’s Day bashing last week. Like most people, I despise that holiday, even when I’m happily ensconced in couplehood. It’s so lame and artificial and obviously designed to get people to spend money on useless, ridiculous crap. Hopefully you didn’t succumb to it–or hate yourself too much if you did. Anyway, there are more layers of artificiality for you to pierce, conquer, destroy, especially this week. Tear through all the crepe paper and sugary coatings and get to the meaty juicy messy stuff underneath. That’s where the real fun lies, not in heart-shaped boxes of bonbons.

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Hold onto your horses, people, because they’re trying their damndest to escape. This a good week for tight reins and short leashes; many of the elements of your life that you count on are eager to bolt in all directions. Don’t let this happen. Cooler heads must prevail, and for once that means you. In other words, you need to keep your shit together even while everyone else is falling apart and panicking. If you don’t, no one will (and then we’re all screwed).

I know it’s not your typical role, you wild thing, but I still think you’re the one for the job. Prove me right.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Four year-olds are a blast to be around. Their worlds are relatively simple. In other words, when things go wrong for a preschooler, it’s usually pretty easy to make everything okay. There’s a part of you seeking someone who can make your world okay, who you imagine can effortlessly smooth your problems away because they’re richer, smarter, bigger, or wiser than you. Unfortunately, that person is mythological; they don’t exist. As long as you keep hoping and expecting that your lover (or potential lover) will fill that role for you–or implode trying– you’ll never be satisfied, and neither of you will be happy. It’s an unreasonable expectation. Let it go.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Set up some surprises for yourself. For months now, you’ve been chronically underestimating one or two important people in your life. Or perhaps it’s not that your evaluations were incorrect, it’s just they were only mostly correct. In other words, your were probably right in guessing that they’d have said “no” to some of your pressing questions or suggestions back whenever you first conceived them. But that’s not necessarily so now.

People do change. An eager “yes” is lurking behind more than one pair of lips, just waiting for a second chance. Be sure to provide it: ask again.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2016 29

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TH