18.04 EH BRAH Issue 2014, July 10, 2014, Volume 18, Issue 4, MauiTime

July 10, 2014 ✚ Volume 18 ✚ Issue 04 ✚ FREE

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EH BRAH!

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DAMN, Our

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PG.5 OPIHI? H T I W S UP WHAT'S . PG.17 LONE JR A M Y S S PG.19 BUG H ALIEN T I W G HANGIN

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2

JULY 10, 2014

Contents VOLUME 18 ✚ ISSUE 04

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What’s your favorite children’s movie?

ON THE COVER:

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Kick-Ass Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Carrie Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Human Centipede Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Children of the Corn Graphic Designer: Shane Fontanilla Home Alone Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

EH BRAH!

SPECIAL ISSUE

DAMN, Our

readers

Welcome to our annual Eh Brah Special Issue

are really

overheated this summer!

PG.5

Cover Design By: Darris Hurst Illustration By: Ron Pitts

Admin. Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 244-0777 The Brave Little Toaster Proofreader: Dina Wilson The Red Shoes

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PG.5 OPIHI? S UP WITH WHAT'S E JR. PG.17 MALON M PG.19 BUGSY ALIENS NG WITH HANGIN

4 10 14 15 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY FOOD & DRINK A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Contributors: Jenn Brown (Happy Feet), Caeriel Crestin, Lauren Hecker, Jory John, Suzanne Kayian, Alex Mitchell, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Jacob Shafer, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II, Dayna Yamasaki Interns: Mika Morii, Ashley Probst, Melanie TomitaCadavona

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July 10, 2014 ✚ Volume 18 ✚ Issue 04 ✚ FREE

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Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter The Red Balloon

YOUR SCION NO HAGGLE, NO HASSLE.

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2014 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

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1. On July 7, state Senator and Democratic Governor candidate David Ige appeared at a campaign fundraiser at Binhi at Ani Maui in Kahului. According to a July 6 press release from Ige’s campaign, which former Hawaii governor was scheduled to appear with him?

A. Linda Lingle B. George Ariyoshi

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Which one of the following individuals running for office in Hawaii did NOT appear at the Paniolo Parade in Makawao on July 5?

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

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THREE GOOD BILLS TO BECOME LAWS

Mokumanamana

IS THE ‘OPIHI SAVING ITSELF FROM CLIMATE CHANGE? With political candidates like Mufi Hannemann vowing to bring about interisland high-speed ferry service should he get elected governor, it’s fashionable to look back at the opposition to the Hawaii Superferry five or six years ago and deride it as nothing more than a bunch of pesky environmentalists. In fact, a lot of local residents on Maui opposed the auto ferry for reasons that had nothing to do with whether there had been enough environmental reviews. They opposed the Superferry because of tiny creatures like the ‘opihi.

The Hawaiian limpet, as it’s called, is a local delicacy. “When it comes to fresh Hawaiian seafood, nothing spends less time in transit than the opihi plucked off the rocks and slurped right out of the shell, wriggling tentacles and all,” David Thompson wrote in the November 2011 issue of Honolulu Magazine. “They are typically eaten raw, either plain or poke style, with limu and a dash of sea salt. They also go well on the grill, seasoned with shoyu and ginger perhaps, or a splash of Tabasco or, in a pinch, a spare packet of Taco Bell hot sauce.”

They’re also extremely difficult to get.

Not only are their numbers declining in general, but they’re physically difficult to get a hold of. They clamp down on rocks along dangerous shorelines–indeed, as Honolulu Magazine pointed out, in the last few years far more people have drowned trying to get ‘opihi than have been killed by sharks.

Superferry opponents were worried about what Oahu residents–who long ago decimated their local ‘opihi grounds–would do if they could drive to Maui. As this 2008 Honolulu Star-Bulletin article makes clear, their fears were well grounded: in the first two weeks of August 2008, state Department of Land and Natural Resources officials found Superferry passengers trying to take 63 pounds of ‘opihi back to Oahu.

For the last six years, scientists with the Na-

tional Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) have been studying marine life in the Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument (the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands)–including the ‘opihi. “‘Opihi, a prized food item in Hawai‘i, is in serious decline in the main Hawaiian Islands,” stated a July 2 news release from NOAA. “Scientists are trying to better understand spawning patterns, gene flow and the rate of evolution of the three ‘opihi species endemic to Hawai‘i in order to conserve the species and manage shorelines near populated areas.”

The news release also details a surprising find: apparent hybridization between the yellowfoot and blackfoot ‘opihi on the island of Mokumanamana.

“At times we could not tell the difference between the two,” said Dr. Christopher Bird, a researcher with Texas A&M University Corpus Christi, in the news release. “By taking a deeper look into the genes of these two species, it’s apparent that yellowfoot ‘opihi living lower on the shorelines and blackfoot ‘opihi living higher on the shorelines are cross-breeding. Hybridization of the two species could make ‘opihi more resilient to the effects of climate change.”

And that would be a good thing, assuming Bird’s use of the word “could” is warranted. Anyway, visit Papahanaumokuakea. gov for more information.

Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie’s been really exercising his bill-signing hand these days. And the best part is that not everything he’s signing into law is bad.

On the afternoon of Wednesday, July 2, in the Executive Office’s Ceremonial Room, Abercrombie signed HB 2116 into law. That’s a really good bill. It prohibits giving juvenile offenders life sentences without the possibility of parole. While we don’t believe that there are currently juveniles currently serving life sentences without parole here, until Abercrombie signs this bill it remains a sentencing option.

According to a February 2014 Civil Beat blog post quoting state Rep. Karen Awana, D–Nanakuli, who introduced the bill, the U.S. is the “only country in the world” that hands out such sentences to children.

Then on Saturday, July 5, Abercrombie flew to Maui to sign two other bills into law. The first was HB 2560–introduced by Rep. Roy Takumi, D–Pearl City and signed in Makawao during the annual parade. It “permits family child care homes in agriculturally designated districts if located in

child care setting that provides open space and opportunities to learn about caring for animals and living off the land.”

Then in the afternoon he headed to Kihei –specifically, in or near the cavernous new Maui Brewing Co. facility being built on Lipoa Parkway–to sign SB 3042, which was introduced by state Senator Roz Baker, D–South Maui. That bill removes the state’s 30,000-barrel restriction on brewpub production. It also creates a new liquor license for small craft brew pubs.

Holding the signing at the new Maui Brewing Co. brewery is no accident–in many ways, it’s why the bill exists.

Between early February and mid-March of this year, Maui Brewing Co. owner Garrett Marrero submitted written testimony to three legislative committees (and emailed testimony on two other occasions in his capacity as vice president of the Hawaiian Craft Brewers Guild) in support of the bill. His new facility played a key role in his boosting the bill. Here’s part of his Mar. 14 testimony to the House Committee on Consumer Protection and Commerce: “Specifically, when our new facility is completed in July we will likely surpass the

What, no beer?

a farm dwelling,” according to a news release Abercrombie’s staff sent out that day.

“This legislation makes it easier for farm families to access child care,” Abercrombie said in that news release. “Keiki in rural areas like Upcountry Maui can now have a

Overheard MAN: “Which part of Nevada do you live in?”

WOMAN: “Not the fun part!”

-Wailea Marriott, July 5

current 30,000 current barrel limit in just our second year,” Marrero testified. “This will serve to directly impede the growth of our company and be a severe negative impact to the company and its employees alike.”

Marrero’s testimony also shows he wasn’t shy about telling committee chairs (two of which, Baker and Rep. Angus McKelvey, are both Democrats from Maui) that his company currently employs 67 people and will add “approximately 100 employees over the next 3 years.”

Other brewpubs, like Big Island Brewhaus (which is run by former Maui Brewing Co. Brewmaster Thomas Kerns) and Kauai Island Brewing Co. also submitted supportive testimony. No one submitted any testimony in opposition to the bill. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

JULY 10, 2014

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News & Views

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PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

MauiSphere

I said both hands on the wheel!

HAWAII DISTRACTED DRIVING LAW CHANGES

-Ashley Probst

good tips and reminders for anyone in or planning to be in the food service/ manufacturing business. Owners, operators and every employee should attend to learn about best practices.”

The popularity of the series motivated UHMC to offer the classes online in hopes of accommodating more participants. The Food Industry Fundamentals series is offered online and on-demand started on July 7. The first session is open until Jan. 31, 2015. Participants may register anytime and take the course at their leisure, online and on-demand. Certificates of Participation will be provided upon completion of each course. Online registration discounts are available. Visit edventuremaui.com/maui-food-innovation-center to register and for specific details on course offerings. You may also call EdVenture at 808-984-3231 to register.

Each course is $39.

The series is part of the larger UHMC Maui Food Innovation Center which will discuss the link between Hawaii’s local farmers and food manufacturers.

Recently, the Hawaii state legislature approved the appropriation of $2.7 million for the MFIC, funds that will be used to renovate the former cafeteria

MEO INSTALLS NEW BOARD Governor Neil Abercrombie celebrated his birthday (June 26) on Maui at the 49th Annual Maui Economic Opportunity Inc. meeting in Wailuku, where he installed new officers of the MEO Board of Directors. Abercrombie joined MEO CEO Lyn McNeff and about 100 supporters and elected officials at the annual meeting.

Installed at the luncheon ceremony were Kai Pelayo, president; Kevin Yoshida, vice president; Adele Rugg, secretary; and Cliff Alakai, treasurer. The officers will serve two-year terms.

During the meeting, Abercrombie said that he was happy to be able to celebrate his birthday with MEO, its board members, volunteers and staff.

“This is what Hawaii is all about,” Abercrombie said. “This is what Maui is all about. This is the Aloha spirit. People caring about other people and doing something about it. Next year MEO will have been here for 50 years and that is a terrific achievement.”

-Suzanne Kayian

UH FOOD INDUSTRY FUNDAMENTAL CLASSES NOW ONLINE UH Maui College’s Office of Continuing Education will offer its Food Industry Fundamentals classes in an online series starting in July. The EdVenture food industry workforce develop-

PHOTO COURTESY UNIVERSITY OF HAWAII

State officials have modified Hawaii’s distracted driving law, which first went into effect on July 1, 2013. When this law was first introduced, those caught using a mobile electronic device while driving would face a fine between $100 and $200, for a first offense, and they were required to appear in court. In the year that has passed since the law was established, the Maui Police Department alone has issued 968 citations for the use of mobile electronic devices on our roadways.

But now, effective on July 1, the fine for using a mobile electronic device has been raised to $297 and this goes up to $347 if a driver is caught within a construction or school zone. That’s bad, but the severity of the citation has been dropped from a traffic “crime “to an “infraction.” This means that cited drivers will no longer have to appear in court.

“After the law was passed in 2013, we at the Legislature received a lot of complaints about the vagueness of the law and the severity of requiring violators to go to court,” said Senator J. Kalani English in a July 1 press release. “It was never our intention to require violators to go to court instead of mailing in a fine.”

The updated law does allow for the use of hands-free devices by drivers who are at least 18. Drivers under the age of 18 are prohibited from using any type of mobile electronic devices, including hands-free ones. Juveniles cited for using a hands-free device will be fined $257 or $307 if they are in a construction or school zone.

An exemption has also been added to the original law which says that the use of cellphones in a vehicle will be permitted if the car is at a complete stop, with the engine turned off, in a safe location that is out of the way of traffic.

“Driving while using your cell phone or any other electronic device is just plain

dangerous and irresponsible,” added English. “Fines have proven to deter people from breaking the law, but more importantly, we want to keep the people of Hawaii safe. A person’s life is significantly more important than that Facebook post of text message.”

ment and training series classes–first offered this past Spring–were originally designed to help participants develop differentiated, value-added and safe specialty-food products.

The courses included Food Trends and Food Marketplace Overview; Food Technology and Product Development; Quality Assurance and Food Safety Principles; and Good Manufacturing Practices for Food Producers.

“It was exciting to connect with so many food enthusiasts with dreams of moving their career forward or launching their own food industry business last April,” said Lou Cooperhouse, a consultant to UHMC’s Maui Food Innovation Center, in a news release. “It just confirms the project’s core mission and the demand for food industry workforce development and training.”

The insights offered in the Fundamentals series were designed to empower participants to better understand the market and where they might find their niche in it, while providing a solid foundational understanding of food safety and regulation.

Course participant and prospective food innovator Mat Seavey (and former MauiTime food writer) said he was

Mmm... food classes

amazed at the amount of information he learned. In the news release, Seavey said the Fundamentals series was a “rich source of information… [that] answered all of my questions (including some I didn’t know I had) in a concise and entertaining fashion.”

Other participants of the spring session were also excited about the course.

Tim Parsons, who owns Adoboloco, thought the courses offered a useful perspective for many in the food industry, saying, “the Food [Industry Fundamentals] series has a bunch of really

in the campus Pa‘ina building, and to purchase the necessary equipment for a value-added food production and business incubation facility.

The Maui Food Innovation Center is partially funded by a grant from the U.S. Department of Labor in the amount of $759,350. Funding does not pay for student costs to participate.

-Suzanne Kayian ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

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News & Views

News Of The Weird ROCKING “MESSIAH”

DEMOCRACY IN ACTION

Prominent theoretical chemist David Glowacki was ejected from a classical music concert at England’s Bristol Old Vic in June for disrupting a performance of Handel’s “Messiah” by attempting to crowdsurf in front of the stage. Dr. Glowacki, an expert in non-equilibrium molecular reaction dynamics and who is presently a visiting scientist at Stanford University, was attending a special “informal” performance at which audience members were encouraged to stand and cheer loudly instead of showing the usual demure appreciation. He said afterward that he could not control himself when the performance moved to the “Hallelujah Chorus.”

Jordan Haskins, 24, is Michigan Republicans’ best hope for the open state House seat in Saginaw in November, but he is burdened by a teenage past of being “young and stupid,” he told the Saginaw News in June. Haskins has been in prisons in two states (and is still on parole) stemming from trespassing and breaking-andentering charges yearly from 2006 to 2011 -- most involving vehicles he used for sex (by himself). (He admits to “cranking,” in which he would remove spark plug wires and try to start the car, pleasuring himself while watching the sparks and listening to the noise.) “I was in a messed-up state of mind, mentally and emotionally,” he said, but now is proud of the man he has become. “You may not respect my policies (or) my ideas, but you at least have to respect me as a person.”

CULTURAL DIVERSITY A formal-dress rental store in Fukui, Japan, with a side business making keepsake portraits of client brides, was surprised at the number of men who began requesting a similar service–to be outfitted just like the women, in wedding gowns and other frills. In fact, just as women expect full makeup and hairstyling for their portraits, so, too, do the men. The store, Marry Mariee, charges the equivalent of about $400 ($600 on weekends). Said the manager, “We want to provide opportunities for people to enjoy showing their real selves, whether they are men or women.”

THIS WEEK IN SCIENTIFICALLY DUBIOUS NOTIONS Paid time off of work for women experiencing brutal menstrual periods is not yet guaranteed in U.S. law, but it’s a staple of workplace rights in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Indonesia, according to a May report by The Atlantic (although in Indonesia, women report that some employers require on-the-scene “proof” of condition; Japan’s policy has been in place for over 60 years).

However, concluded The Atlantic, the policies are based less on rights of workers than on “the scientifically dubious notion” that stressing females during menses will result in difficult future childbirths.

PERSPECTIVE San Francisco’s activist Board of Supervisors, among the boldest in the country to rid their cities of obnoxious goods and services, added disposable plastic water bottles to the list in March (to join circumcision, plastic shopping bags and nutritionchallenged “Happy Meals” that contain toys). The water bottle vote was unanimous (covering distribution on city-controlled property), compared to the cliff-hanging 2012 vote (6-5), in which the board finally decided to ban unclothed people from the streets (mostly men, of course), where until then some freely wandered downtown sidewalks stark naked.

8

JULY 10, 2014

by Chuck Shepard

INEXPLICABLE Congressional candidate Tim Murray handily lost June’s primary election (82 percent to five percent) in Oklahoma’s 3rd District to incumbent U.S. Rep. Frank Lucas, but he did not give up. In a rambling letter to KFOR-TV in Oklahoma City, Murray accused “Lucas” of being a body-double for Lucas, since it is “widely known” that the “real” Frank Lucas was executed by order of the World Court in southern Ukraine in January 2011. Lucas, asked for a comment, told the station, “It does come as kind of a shock to read that [I’m] not [me].”

BRUTAL POLITICAL REPRESSION The county Association of Governments in Phoenix notified Diane “DD” Barker recently that she could continue to address association meetings as a community activist, but was to cease introducing her remarks by performing cartwheels, as she apparently has done several times in the past. Barker, a 65-year-old former Ohio State University cheerleader, said she seeks to demonstrate the value of exercise and public transportation, but agreed to hold off on the cartwheels.

LEAST COMPETENT BISHOP In a May deposition on a priest-child sex abuse lawsuit against the Catholic Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, thenauxiliary bishop Robert Carlson said he was “not sure” in 1984 whether he “knew it was a crime or not” for an adult to engage in sex with a child. (Carlson added, reassuringly, “I understand today it’s a crime.”

Carlson today is the archbishop of St. Louis.) Lawyers for the plaintiffs quickly questioned Carlson’s candor, pointing to other 1984-era documents in which Carlson referred to the statute of limitations for legal protection (suggesting he at least suspected that adult-child sex was illegal). ■

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OUR ANNUAL

EH BRAH!

SPECIAL ISSUE

DAMN, Our readers are really overheated this summer!

Illustrations by

Ron Pitts

!

H A R B EH

W

e call this the Aloha State, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s nice to each other. Most people out here give friends, relatives and strangers a decent break, but we all know some lying, cheating, thieving parasite out there who just seems to enjoy causing misery in others. And while dealing with such a person is never fun, calling them out in Eh Brah! is great fun. So here are a bunch of Eh Brahs for you to binge on– all brand new, never before published. Enjoy, and keep sending us your submissions!

As usual, please send your anonymous thanks, confessions and/or accusations–200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent–to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or email them to ehbrah@mauitime.com

was enjoying a peaceful time surfing when all of a sudden this thing started stroking its way into the lineup. “What is it?” all the surfers asked. It was standing on a huge board, stroking with a paddle. It was like a scene out of one of my worst nightmares. The clown with the paddle stroked his way outside all of us surfers without saying hi or even making eye contact and started to catch every set wave that came through. “I think they call that stand up paddle surfing,” one guy said. “They are a plague that are trying to take over the surf!” The guy with the paddle had no aloha or respect for the guys on regular surf boards. “Eh, brah!” I yelled, “I’ll stand up when I catch the wave!”

I

Y

ou’re really ripping people off here in Hawaii. I put a few thousand dollars into a savings account in your bank and for you using my money you only gave me 42 cents interest for six month’s time. WTF? First, you did not tell me that the money had to stay in the bank for six months and neither did you tell me that I was basically letting you use my money for free! On top of that, you wanted to charge me $100 if I wanted to take the money out before the six months were up. And to add insult to injury, you charged me $26 for a bogus overdraft fee (regarding which you still haven’t return my call for two months). So letting you use my money cost me $25.58. Thanks!

10 JULY 10, 2014

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h Brah... Next time you try to sell a broken down washer, please don’t lie in the ad, ok?

You sold us a washer you said was “working,” but when we took it home, only the light worked. We’re not rich–we work hard, have kids and don’t have a lot of money for stuff like major appliances. Now we have your junk to deal with. Sad.

h! Who else thinks it’s funny when people ask for kama‘aina when they clearly don’t live here? Sorry brah, but two months out of the year doesn’t count as a resident. It’s cute, but starting to get annoying. Not once have I or my family ever ask for a discount on food or other items because we’re Maui residents. People who do this just tarnish the basic, real and invariable nature of all things Hawaii. I’m not angry or hateful–I just think people should start learning another Hawaiian word, because a we will have an outlet mall and there will be no point of asking for “kama‘aina.”

Everything will already be discounted. So here’s a new word: “Mahalo.” It means Thank you. Be grateful, brah. Don’t feel so entitled because you spent so much money buying a house or condo near the beach that you only use a couple months out of the year.

E

ou came to my moving sale in Maui Meadows not long ago. You offered to buy all the plants on my lanai, but said you had no money at the time. So you walked off, saying you’d be back on Sunday to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

You didn’t come back then, but did return three days later.

Once again, you said you had no money. This time I gave you a deal–three large plants worth $100 for just $30. You took the deal, saying you’d come back to pay me. You also took a bunch of plants I offered to give you for free. At the time, my wife said I was a fool for trusting you. Turns out she was right.

Y o the thieving neighbor who stole my son’s clothes out of the dryer in our apartment complex’s laundry room: I really hope you needed the underwear.

I’m a single mom who works two jobs. One is as as social worker who helps people become employed. So,if you need underwear, get a job. But if you’re hungry, come on by and I’ll give you food out of my cupboards because that’s what Aloha is all about: helping your neighbors, not ripping them off. Not that it matters to you now, but I can’t afford to replace the clothes you helped yourself to. Shame on you.

T

ot only did your dealership sell me a lemon, but you made me go through hell and back to get you to do something about it. In a twomonth period, I came back to you 12 times as that POS used car fell apart, but each time you denied it was your problem. Finally at the end, you offered me a crummy deal to take it or leave it–a new car, over my budget, with the gas mileage I asked for. You called it a new car, but I later found out it was a dealer’s car. You screwed me over twice! I was upfront with you about what I could afford, but you just saw someone you could take advantage of.

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JULY 10, 2014

11

h neighbor, thanks for stealing my plants! Just to let you know, those are medicinal plants that I’ve been nurturing for months and were almost ready for harvest. Yes, I have a license to grow them as I need them for a life-threatening, medical problem. Somehow you thought I was growing them just for you. Brah, what you did is wrong on so many levels! One day your dirty deeds will come back to bite you on the ass you pitiful excuse for a human being. Besides that, you picked them too early. Idiot.

E

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o all da braddahs burnin’ pakalolo every morning in front of Breakwall: mahalo nui for spreading your stinky second-hand smoke and more than 2,000 cancer-causing carcinogens to passersby. On my way out for a early morning surf session, I don’t want to breathe that in. Just because we live in Hawaii and for some lolo reason the people accept illegal drug use, that doesn’t mean you have a right to blow your pollution my way. People have all kinds of excuses to use marijuana, but they usually just use it to get high because they can’t handle their own emotions. You’re not cool, not everyone accepts it, and you looked even more stupid when I got out of the water. Wonder why?

T

ay to go on waiting until it started to rain to trim branches away from roadways and power lines. We really appreciate the effort. I don’t suppose it occurred to you to have this process completed before those hazardous limbs started blocking traffic and cutting off electricity and phone/ internet service. I feel sorry for those poor shmucks trying to keep chainsaws running on sky-lifts in the rain, doing a job they could have done when the sun was shining.

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o the whacked out smiley hoale lady who keeps wandering the streets of Makawao. I don’t know what you were thinking–perhaps that your smile makes you invisible. Imagine my surprise as I stood in line at the store and saw you walking by in the rain under an umbrella, carrying my folded-up wet umbrella under your arm.

As soon as I confronted you, retrieved what was mine and walked back in the shop, the woman next to me said that you’ve been stealing from stores in the area. Seriously, this is a small town and we’ve been very nice to you. I even picked you up hitching once. We tolerate crazy, but robbing and stealing is bullshit. I’m posting your picture and warning others.

You’re a parasite and need to get out of town.

T

was crossing the street in Paia and you stopped at the crosswalk to let me pass. I felt a bit of Aloha until you yelled, “You’re not even hot” and sped away laughing. Never did I think the lyrics to a TLC song would apply to my life so much. You’re just a “Scrub in his best friend’s ride.” But instead of hitting on me, you just spewed insults–probably because you haven’t gotten laid in months and you’re lacking in the boto department. Brah, next time a pretty lady walks in front of your car you should say something nice instead of trying to boost your ego. Enjoy yourself ‘cause it’s all you got!

I

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A&E

by Jen Russo

Refined Tastes

PHOTO COURTESY SHERATON MAUI

Fine tobacco, craft brew and whiskey come together at this Saturday’s Craft Session

Just add whiskey and cigars

I

f you like fine tobacco, craft brew and rare whiskey, you should stop by the Sheraton Maui’s Craft Session this Saturday.

Whiskey and beer? Together? Absolutely–in fact, whiskey has its roots in the same stuff beer is made of, and their notes are naturally complementary.

“Beer and whiskey have gone hand in hand for thousands of years and for good reason, they are produced from some of the very same raw materials,” says Bill Carl, a certified Cicerone beer specialist with Southern Wine and Spirits. “Ingredients in whiskey can consist of barley, rye and corn while a lot of traditional beers are also made with malted barley, rye and corn. These grains are historically grown in milder climates such as Ireland, Scotland and the Mid-Atlantic region of the United States, which have similar food affinities that can be paired either with a strong whiskey in the dead of winter or a refreshing beer in the summer months. If you haven’t had the pleasure of tasting a whiskey barrel-aged beer, I implore you to do so!”

Maui Brewing Company will bring four beers to the craft session, and one of them will be a whiskey aged beer.

There will be the Mana Wheat, their “flagship wheat ale,” which is brewed with Maui pineapple; the Pahoehoe Peppered Porter, a robust porter brewed with comapeño chilies; Father Damien, a Belgian-style abbey ale; and Lost at

Sea, an India Pale Ale aged in rye whiskey barrels for two years, then dry-hopped with whole leaf El Dorado hops.

“These beers were chosen to represent a wide breadth of diversity amongst a world of beer styles and flavors,” says Tony Ren, Maui Brewing Co.’s General Manager.

“The Lost at Sea is an interesting example where we incorporate some old world techniques such as barrel aging but with an American-style IPA and dry-hopped with hops grown in Washington. Each beer will bring a unique set of flavors and qualities you’ll want to match and contrast with the whiskeys, cigars and food at this event.”

At the event, Cigar Bar Hawaii, owned

by Elaine Dalistan, will give a presentation on cigars, pairing them and the art of smoking them. Different tobaccos will have different tasting notes, depending on region and type.

Cigar Bar will have Macunaudo, Punch Champion, La Gloria Cubana Series R No. 4, Hoyo de Monterey, CAO Moontrance and CAO Bella Vanilla.

“Tobacco leaves are like fine wine,” says Dalistan. “The best of the best farmers grow and raise tobacco plants like a science. It actually starts from choice of soil, types of seed, weather and hands of farmers who will harvest them. Leaves are well taken care from the ground to the roller.

A tobacco plant has 12 to 14 leaves and the top leaves are the cream of the crop.

A cigar consist of three types of tobacco leaves: wrapper, filler and binder. Rolling a cigar is not easy as it looks. Some rollers takes months to perfect cigar rolling. After they’re rolled, they’re placed in an aging room. Every company ages their cigars different lengths of time but they’re aged for perfection. After the aging stage, the cigars are sorted by hand and go into a cigar box, usually made of Spanish cedar.”

This year’s Craft Session will be taking a look at Old World ways versus New World styles in beer production.

“The biggest difference in using ‘old world’ and ‘new world’ processes, in my opinion, would be the sourcing of ingredients,” says Carl. “It would be fairly uncommon to see a German brewer using hops from England and vice-versa

but not too uncommon for a brewer in Pennsylvania to use Czech hops and grain from North Dakota while using a German strain of yeast. We have the privilege in this country of being a melting pot and also not having a thousand year old brewing traditions to break so we can brew pretty much whatever we want.”

For Maui Brewing Co., using old traditions but translating them with a modern palate and tropical ingredients gives them leeway to create their most popular beers.

“Most ingredients used in brewing are geographically specific,” says Ren. “For example, significantly varied flavors can be achieved between German Hallertau hops and American Northwest hops or by using a Belgian yeast compared to a California ale yeast. The Mana Wheat is an American-style wheat ale that we’ve incorporated Maui pineapples into. This is a good example of how wheat beers have evolved from its ‘old world’ German-style yeast flavors of banana and clove to a ‘new world’ variation where the taste is much cleaner and brighter. Of course the juicy local pineapples used were not commonly found in the old world either.”

Whiskey is less affected by distinctions, since distillation processes have remained consistent. But new trends–blended versus single malts, small batches and single barrel aging–are all influencing the market.

“The terms ‘old world’ and ‘new world’ don’t really apply to distilled beverages, but more to the wine world,” says spirits expert Chandra Lam Lucariello. “However, we are seeing some new things done particularly in America, such as the making of American whiskeys that are done in the style of Scotch and also American styles of gin, getting away from the classic London dry style.

Single Malt is typically used in scotch production meaning that the whiskey that is in the bottle has only come from

that one particular distillery, using pot still distillation, with malted barley as the only grain ingredient. To be honest, there really isn’t any regulation when it comes to the term ‘small batch’ and there are some distilleries that abuse that term, aging their spirits in very large vats instead of individual barrels, but it really depends on the distillery.”

The whiskeys presented will span the world–Scotland, Ireland, Japan and America. The Hibiki is a 12-year blend of Japanese Bourbon malts and grain whiskey, aged in sherry and plum liquor barrels. You can also taste an American rye made in the Michter Distillery, which was established in the late 1700’s. Ireland’s Tyrconnell Single Malt Sherry Finish is a 10-year-old single malt aged in sherry, Madiera and port barrels. You get extra points for correct pronunciation of Ardbeg Uigeadail (pronounced ‘Oog-a-dal’) from Scotland, a Scotch known for its silky brilliance and special filtering.

“We will be showcasing Japanese whiskeys from the Nikka distillery,” says Lucariello. “Masataka Taketsuru is considered the father of Japanese whiskey and he started two distilleries, the Yoichi which is located in Hokkaido, and Miyagikyo, which is in Sendai.”

Craft Session also pairs a selection of gourmet tastes to graze with the whisky and craft brews. Stations will offer select artisan cheeses, braised meats and vegetable crudite with tangy dips, as well as a selection of sweets. Ocean Vodka will serve the event’s opening refreshment with an Asian fusion drink.

The event will be held on the Sheraton’s spacious Ocean Lawn. Tickets are $89. Call 808-921-4600 for more info. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

MENU • Roasted mac nut-truffle crusted lamb with Hamakua mushroom-red wine sauce • Assorted artisan cheese with house made lavosh, crostinis, crackers, dried fruits, artichoke pesto and macadamia nut hummus • Upcountry farm vegetables with basil-lemon aioli, kim chee aioli and avocado-wasabi tobiko dip.

• Assorted petit fours

WHISKEYS Hibiki 12 Year (Japan), Michter’s Single Barrel Rye (America), Tyrconnell “Sherry Finish” Single Malt (Ireland), Ardbeg Uigeadail (Scotland)

BREWS Mana Wheat (5.5 percent ABV, IBU 18), Pahoehoe Peppered Porter (6 percent ABV, IBU 30),Lost at Sea India Pale Ale (10.7 percent ABV, IBU 62), Father Damien Abbey Ale (8 percent ABV, IBU 25)

CIGARS Macanudo, Punch Champion, La Gloria Cubana Series R. No. 4, Hoyo de Monterey, CAO Moontrance, CAO Bella Vanilla

JULY 10, 2014 15

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A&E

by Ashley Probst

Gangster Squad The Westside’s Theatre Theatre Maui gets ready to put on ‘Bugsy Malone Jr.’

PHOTO COURTESY THEATRE THEATRE MAUI

W

ith opening night right around the corner on Friday, July 18, the cast and crew of Theatre Theatre Maui’s six-week summer program is working diligently to perfect their rendition of Bugsy Malone Jr. which will be performed in Lahaina Intermediate School’s cafeteria.

It’s unusual to see a children’s play based on a film like Bugsy Malone. Set in the Roaring ‘20s, the play features a cast of children who must deal with adult themes while they portray the roles of gangsters and show girls.

Director Kristi Scott said that although the show deals with serious issues like gangs and violence, it’s done in a fun and different way that ultimately ends with a heart-warming message about amity and teamwork. “I remember watching it when I was really young and it made me smile and taught me some things at the same time,” Scott said. “[It addresses] using gangs in a different way, for positive as opposed to fighting each other.”

Musical director Vania Jerome said that she

PHOTO COURTESY THEATRE THEATRE MAUI

was excited to help put on this show because it’s not what the kids are used to performing.

“The music is different from anything the kids have done before and I just like the story line,” she said. “It has some historical references to it, so I thought it would be a great, fun show and educational for them as well.”

Set and tech director Derek Nakagawa said that working on this production has been a great experience for him. “It’s one of those period pieces that you don’t often get a chance to do with a bunch of little kids,” he said. “I knew it was gonna be fun and I knew the set was gonna be something attainable, something for all of us to work on together.”

The unique aspect of Theatre Theatre Maui’s summer camp is that the kids are involved in everything that goes into putting on their show, right down to creation of the props and backdrops that will appear on stage. “I want them to know what goes into it, so that they have a little bit more respect for it,” Scott said. “It takes a village to put a play on and I really want them to learn that and to be a part of that village.”

Annabehl Sinclair is an important part of that village as she is the Theatre Theatre Maui board’s treasurer, a supportive parent for cast member Rory (who plays Fat Sam) and a self-proclaimed “free-for-all prop/ set/costume person.” As she slathered grey paint onto what appeared to be a cardboard hair dryer, Sinclair explained how they came up with the designs for these “splurgers”– the characters’ weapons of choice.

“Because we’re on Department Of Education (DOE) property, we couldn’t make anything look like an actual weapon, so we had to get creative,” Sinclair said. “All of our splurgers are disguised as other things.

We’ve got an old camera, violin cases, a movie camera [and more].”

Although Theatre Theatre Maui has almost no limit to the amount of paper mache they can use to create props such as the splurgers, their costume situation is a different story. “We don’t have the resources to build all of our costumes,” Scott said. “That’s just not something that’s in

kind of swept under the rug somehow.”

Even though there isn’t a year-round program for aspiring actors on the Westside, Jerome said that the kids in Bugsy Malone Jr. are awesome performers. “It’s been really great to be able to pull out the different talents and ideas from them,” Jerome said. “They’ve been very cooperative and collaborative, so it’s been fun working with them.”

Scott agreed that they have a phenomenal group of kids in the program this year.

“They’ve all gotten along, we’ve had very little drama and they’ve all worked really hard at what they’re doing,” Scott said.

“Kids are more talented and capable than they give themselves credit for and I really want them to find that in themselves.”

After watching them grow as actors over the last four weeks or even over the last four years, Scott said that she is proud of every student in the camp and she has a favorite moment in the play for each cast member. “Each of the kids have such lovely little moments that, for me, just make me

PHOTO COURTESY THEATRE THEATRE MAUI

our budget at the moment.”

Luckily, the theater group has the support of Maui Academy of Performing Arts (MAPA), which helps them get any costumes that they need. “We’re very fortunate to have MAPA on our side,” Scott said. “They’ve allowed us to go into their costume bank and we’ve been able to pull some matching costumes for our girls.”

The theater also donates anything that they build back to MAPA which allows both theater groups to benefit from each other.

Jerome said that she thinks it’s great that there’s a theater program available for Westside kids–kids who may not be able to participate in groups like MAPA that are located across the island. “I do a lot of work on the other side because that’s where the majority of performing arts is,” Jerome said. “I’m just so grateful that Theatre Theatre is here to provide things for our kids here on the Westside because we always get

smile and the older kids have some great dance numbers,” Scott said.

At the end of the day, Scott said that it is important for everyone in our community to support local theater in any way they can. “The kids that start here, you never know, they might wind up being on television,” Scott said. “Support local theater because you never know where it will lead.”

Bugsy Malone Jr. runs four performances: three evening shows July 18-20 and one matinee on July 20. Tickets can be purchased at the door with cash or checks only.

Showtimes: Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 7pm and Sunday at 2pm. $10 adults, $5 kids; Lahaina Intermediate School Cafeteria (871 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina); 808-661-1168. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more A&E news, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com

JULY 10, 2014 17

Picks

by Marina Satoafaiga

This Weeks Picks THURSDAY, JULY 10 MICK FLEETWOOD – Don’t miss Mick Fleetwood of Fleetwood Mac at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center this Thursday. Here’s a chance to see the original drummer of the famous rock band do a talk story session and intimate performance. Joining him on stage will be Rick Vito on guitar, Lenny Castellanos on bass and Mark Johnstone on keyboard. The party continues on the road as the 2014 Fleetwood Mac World Tour kicks off this summer. $49-$149.

7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Joe Bielawa

MASTER SOMMELIER PATRICK OKUBO – Refine your taste for wine with Master Sommelier Patrick Okubo at Makena Resort’s July Wine Dinner. He’ll introduce three California wines, including Murphy-Goode Wines’ Fume Sauvignon Blanc 2012, Sonoma-Cutrer Vineyards’ Late Harvest Chardonnay 2012 and Buehler Vineyards’ Napa Valley Zinfandel 2011. You can also enjoy pupus that are specially prepared and paired with the evening’s wine choices. $45. 6:30pm. Makena Beach & Golf Resort, Molokini Bar & Grille (5400 Makena Alanui); Makenaresortmaui.com. Photo courtesy MGBR 808-875-5888, M

FRIDAY, JULY 11 LISA LOEB – She’s the first artist to have a number one single on US charts as an unsigned agent. It’s not surprising that Lisa Loeb’s versatile talents have landed her on many stages. Catch the “Stay” sensation this Friday under a Maui moon. From children’s animation to Grammy nominations, Loeb’s work has crossed generational lines. Warm up with local musician Gail Swanson as the evening’s opening act. $30-$45. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Culture Center, Yokouchi Pavilion (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-2427469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

ADAM A DAM T TENDLER – This Friday, Ebb & Flow Arts will celebrate its 15th birthday wit with pianist, activist and author Adam Tendler. Hailing from The Big Apple, Tend Tendler will make the Hawaii debut of his rendition of Robert Palmer’s “Piano So Sonata #2” (1948) and “Twenty-One Little Preludes” (1940) by Edward T. Co Cone. His grassroots approach and innovative style has won him an internatio tional audience. You can also talk story with the pianist before the show. Free.

Pre-concert discussion. 7:30pm show. Makawao Union Church 6: 6:30 (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-876 1854, Makawaounion(1 church.org, Ebbandflowarts.org. Photo courtesy Ebb & Flow Arts ch

FRIDAY, FR R ID I AY Y, JULY JJU U 11 ULY ‘LE ‘LEGALLY BLONDE’ – Maui OnStage’s Legally Blonde: The Music sical opens this Friday. Based on Amanda Brown’s novel, Heather Hach’s book and the 2001 MGM film, Elle Woods (played by Ca Casey Murphy Hughes), Warner Huntington III, Emmett Forrest an and the girls of Delta Nu will appear in this local rendition of the la law school comedy. The former Hawaiian Tropic girl will give Ha Harvard a run for its money when she proves that there’s more to her than blonde locks. 7:30pm Fridays and Saturdays and 3pm Su Sundays. $17-$28. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969, Mauionstage.com. Photo: Brett Wulfson 80

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY BUILD-A-THON – In conjunction with a statewide build-a-thon, Habitat for Humanity Maui will host its eighth annual build this Friday and Saturday. Grab a few friends and set a goal to each raise $100. This year’s site will be Kahawai in Happy Valley. Habitat for Humanity Maui’s largest project to date, the three-story steel and concrete building will provide homes for 16 families. There will be many different items to work on during the Build-a-thon. Not much of builder? You can still donate to the cause online. Funds raised will stay on the Maui to further Habitat’s local mission. Volunteers will receive a shirt, lunch and beverages. To sign up call 808-2421140 or Visithabitat-maui.org. Photo courtesy Habitat for Humanity Maui

SATURDAY, JULY 12 MAUI CRAFT SESSION – The second annual Maui Craft Session returns to the Sheraton Maui’s Ocean Lawn this Saturday. This year’s theme will compare production styles of the old world with the new. The afternoon will feature samplings from Maui Brewing Co., Southern Wine and Spirits, Cigar Bar Hawaii and Ocean Vodka. Craft enthusiasts will get samplings of spirits, beers and cigars that have been made using both time-honored traditions and new innovative methods. A specially crafted menu will compliment the featured flavors. $85 +. 6:30pm9:30pm. Sheraton Maui (2605 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-921-4600, Sheraton-maui.com.

IKAIKA NUI EXTREME OBSTACLE CHALLENGE – Are you ready to get down and dirty? The Ikaika Nui Extreme 5k Challenge will test your strength, precision and balance through 16 obstacles. Make it a personal goal or grab a bunch of friends to take on this muddy mission. All fitness levels are welcome and it’s up to each participant how fast or slow they want to go. The main course welcomes ages 13 and up (there’s a separate keiki challenge for ages 8-12). The entry fee includes race medal, t-shirt, ONE free beer and entertainment. Additional food and beverages will be available for purchase. $60 for Individuals. $200 for a team of 4. 7am Keiki race. 7:30am main event. $2 Parking. Mendes Ranch (3530 Kahekili Hwy., Wailuku), Runnersparadiseinc.com. Photo courtesy Runners Paradise Inc.

SATURDAY, JULY 12 OLA KA HONUA – The Office of Hawaiian Affairs presents Ola Ka Honua this Saturday at the Maui Nui Botanical Gardens. Celebrate Hawaiian cultural practices and engage in lei making with Na Kamehameha Pa‘u riders, makahiki games, kamani nut whistle and cordage making (oeoe) and much more. Keep cool with some fresh sugarcane juice and see more than 20 organizations who will share information and host activities highlighting the benefits of native Hawaiian species and resource conservation. You can also pick up a native plant to add to your home garden. 10am-3pm. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului), Mnbg.org. Photo courtesy MNBG

SATURDAY, JULY 12

STONEWAVE SKATEPARK’S 10TH ANNIVERSARY – This Saturday, the Paia Youth and Cultural Center will celebrate its Stonewave Skatepark’s 10th anniversary with a community skate contest.

Show off your skills and enjoy food, music and lots of prizes. Grab a friend and be sure to sign up for a spot at 2pm. The contest will be broken up into age divisions. Come for a time of clean fun and friendly competition. Free. 2pm. Stonewave Skatepark ( 28 Hana Hwy., Paia), Pyccmaui.org. Photo: Sean M. Hower

SUNDAY, SUNDAY AY A Y, JJU Y, JULY UL ULY LY Y 13

NA HOKU HOU AWARD WINNERS CONCERT – This Saturday, the state’s best musicians will gather at the MACC for a winner’s circle performance. This year’s Na Hoku Hou Award Winners Concert will feature Female Vocalist of the Year Hulu Lindsey, Male Vocalist of the Year Kamaka Kukona, Slack Key Album of the Year winner Jeff Peterson, R&B Album of the Year winner Yoza and Best Engineered Album of the Year winner Sean Na‘auao. $35-$75. 5:30pm gate. 6pm. Show. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-2427469, Mauiarts.org. Photo of Sean Na‘auao courtesy of the MACC

TUESDAY, JULY 15 HALE MAKUA BENEFIT NIGHT – Dine out to benefit Hale Makua this Tuesday at Flatbread Company in Paia. For every flatbread purchased during dinner, Flatbread will donate to Hale Makua. Guests will also have a chance to win door prizes. An informational table will be available to answer any questions the public might have about the nonprofit.

Enjoy local flavors while supporting a local cause. 5pm. Flatbread Company (89 Hana Hwy., Paia), Halemakua.org. Photo: Sean M. Hower

18 JULY 10, 2014

CHARIC PEMPENGCO – YouTube sensation, Billboard CHARICE chart to topper and X Factor Philippines judge Charice Pempengc pengco will take to the MACC this Sunday. Her hit singles in include “Pyramid” and “Before It Explodes.” She also cros crossed over into television by landing a role on Glee.

VIP packages include a Meet & Greet with Charice.

Op Opening the show will be Hawaii-born singer Cheesa. $3 $39-$102. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (On (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC M

WEDNESDAY, JULY 16 WAILEA LE‘A – This month’s Wailea Le’a performance will feature a special appearance from Maui OnStage’s Legally Blonde cast. The mid-week party continues with pupu samplings from Fustini’s Oils and Vinegars, Tommy Bahama, Ruth’s Chris Steak House and more. On a date night? Be sure to freshen up after the pupus at Cos Bar Wailea’s touch up station. 6pm8pm. The Shops at Wailea (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.);808-891-6770, TheShopsAtWailea.com. Photo courtesy The Shops at Wailea

Film

by Barry Wurst II

‘Earth To Echo’ Even if E.T. had never been made, this would still be a lousy movie Earth to Echo

★★★★★ Rated PG / 89 Min.

A

nyone who grew up during the past 30 years is aware of a smash hit movie called E.T. The ExtraTerrestrial. Until James Cameron and his boat movie turned up, Steven Spielberg’s film was the top grossing film of all time and one of the most influential sci-fi fantasies of its decade. More importantly, it’s still a magnificent film, with some of the best child performances ever captured and many sequences have become iconic.

But like anything successful, the wannabees, imitators and copy-cats followed. Some of them worked, though most never came close to matching the film’s depiction of how childhood can be wonderful, painful, unfair and hopeful. Then there’s Earth to Echo, a belated, irritating rip-off that shows us what E.T. would look like as a bad YouTube video.

We’re introduced to three boys who are outcasts, misfits and ignored by most of their peers. Tuck’s parents barely notice him, Alex is a Foster child disconnected to

his new life and “Munch” is the “weird” kid. I’d mention the names of the performers but this is such a poorly acted film, I’ll just hope for the best and assume these kids have a future beyond this movie.

They’re playing stock roles and the emotional connection of their domestic lives never comes across. More importantly, we never see or feel any kind of mutual affection, not even puppy love, between the trio and the title character, their alien friend. Henry Thomas, you are missed.

The plot not only cribs heavily and blatantly from E.T. (the setting, troubled home lives, discovery of the alien, the capture and threat to the creature’s life, the final chase and the closing scene) but other great films. Earth to Echo has scenes that fantasy film buffs may remember seeing from such movies as Explorers, Super 8, Batteries Not Included and even the infamous MAC and Me. Even if E.T. had never been made, this would still be a lousy movie. It’s intended for children, but many moments are too distressing The found footage angle initially resembles the approach taken by Chronicle, though this one cheats and forces the device so often, the filmmakers should have dropped it. Aside

FOLLOW US!

E.T. go home

from The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield and REC, few films know how to use those firstperson cameras as a storytelling device in a way that makes sense and enhances the film.

This is a rip-off in terms of originality and also at giving audiences what they want. Echo, who looks like the offspring of the robo-owl in the original Clash of the Titans and Wall-E, is cute but not in the movie nearly enough. It’s mostly off camera in a boy’s backpack.

The finale has two big effects shots and they’re impressive but they don’t last long.

Not only is the plot stolen from better movies, the sense of awe and wonderment is nil. At one point, a kid in the theater I was sitting close to said aloud, “Momma, this movie is boring.” Ladies and gentlemen, a future film critic is born!

Like most movies today, there are lots of

shots showcasing online search engines, cellphones, laptops and every current electronic toy available. It makes sense to include this, as kids are more tech savvy than ever before, but their abilities with software from the Apple Store is stronger than their chemistry with one another.

The point where the movie lost me completely came an hour in, when the three boys hide in the bedroom of a girl they like from school. She discovers them and listens as they try and fail to explain their possession of an alien. To my amazement, she’s calm, unafraid, not bothered that three boys are approaching her in her dimly lit bedroom and unresponsive to the claims of the extraterrestrial. To the screenwriters of this movie: have you ever, in your life, ever met a young girl before? ■

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Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului.

1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) 22 Jump Street-R-THU 2:20, 4:50, 7:20 A Hard Day’s Night-NR-THU 7pm, SUN 11am Begin Again-R-FRI-WED 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35 Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes 2D-PG13FRI-WED 10:45, 1:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7, 9:45, 10:45, 3D FRI-WED 11:45, 2:30, 8:00 Deliver Us From Evil-R- THU 11:45 2:20 4:55 7:30 10:05, FRI-WED 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:30 Jersey Boys-R-THU 2:00 5:00 Kung Fu Panda 2-PG- WED 10:00 My Illegal Wife-NR-THU 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:15 9:40, FRI-WED 10, 5:40 Transformers: Age of Extinction 2D-PG13THU 10:40, 11:10 2:35 6:00 9:25, 10:25, 8, FRI-WED 10:40, 12:10, 2:20, 3:35, 7:10, 8:10, 10:30; FRI-WED 10:40, 12:10, 2:20, 3:35, 7:10, 8:10, 10:30; Transformers: Age of Extinction 3D-PG13THU 12:10, 3:35, 7 The Croods-PG-WED 10:00

Hotel Transylvania-TUE-WED (10:00) Jersey Boys-FRI-WED 10:20 4:00 10:00 How To Train Your Dragon 2-PG- 2D THU (10:40 1:30 4:10) 6:50 9:40, FRI-WED 10:50 1:40 4:10 6:50 9:50 Maleficent-PG- 2D THU 10:50 11:20 1:40 2:10 4:20 4:50 7:00 10:10, FRI-WED 10:20 1:30 3:40 7:10 9:40 Neighbors-R- THU 7:20 10:20 Rifftrax Live Sharknado-THU 8:00, TUE 7:30 Planes: Fire And Rescue-THU 2D 7:00 9:20, 3D 7:30, 9:50 Smurfs 2-TUE-WED 10:00 Grateful Dead Meetup 2014-NR-THU 7:30

Tammy-R- THU 11:30 12:00 2:10 2:20 4:40 5:10 7:10 7:40 10:00 10:30, FRI-MON 10:30 12:10 1:30 2:40 3:50 5:10 7:10 7:40 10:00 10:30, TUE 10:30 12:10 1:30 2:40 3:50 5:10 7:10 7:40 10:30, WED 10:30 12:10 1:30 2:40 3:50 5:10 7:10 7:40 10:00 10:30 The Enchanted Island: Met Summer Encore-NR-WED 7:00 The Fault Of Our Stars -FRI-WED 4:30 7:30 10:30

Think Like A Man Too-PG13- THU (10:40 1:20 4:10) 6:50 10:00, FRI-TUE 1:10 6:50 WED 1:10 Third Person-R- FRI-TUE 10:20 1:20 3:40 7:00 9:40, WED 10:20 1:20 3:40 9:40 X-Men: Days of Future Past-PG13- 2D THU

10:50 12:50 4:20 6:30 10:10, FRI-WED 10:30 12:50 4:00 6:30 9:50

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes 3D-PG13THU 10:00, FRI-SUN 12:30 7:00 2D FRI-SUN 3:45 10:15, How To Train Your Dragon 2-PG-THU 11:45 2:15 4:45 7:15 Tammy-R-THU 11:15 2:00 4:30 7:30 10:15 Transformers: Age of Extinction-PG13-THU 3:15 10:45, 3D THU 11:30 7:00

MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) 22 Jump Street-FRI-WED 10:50 1:20 4:00 6:40 9:30 Blended-PG13- THU (12:30 3:30), FRI-WED (12:50) 6:30 Chef-R- THU 10:20 1:10 3:50 6:40 9:40, FRI-SAT 10:40 4:20 10:20, SUN 4:20 10:20, MON-TUE 10:40 4:20 10:20, WED 10:40 4:20 Earth To Echo-THU (10:30 11:00 1:30 2:00 4:00 4:30) 7:00 7:30 9:50, FRI-MON 11:20 11:50 2:00 2:20 4:50 7:20 10:10, TUE-WED 11:20 2:00 2:20 4:50 7:20 10:10 Edge Of Tomorrow-PG13- 2D THU 10:20 1:00 3:50 6:40 9:50, FRI-SAT 10:30 1:10 3:50 6:40 9:30, SUN 1:10 3:50 6:40 9:30, MON-WED 10:30 1:10 3:50 6:40 9:30 Godzilla-PG13- THU 9:30, FRI

NEW THIS WEEK BEGIN AGAIN - R - Comedy/Music - A disgraced music industry exec (is there another kind?) and a young musician randomly meet, collaborate and make the world a sweet, lovely place. 104 min.

THE CROODS - PG - Animation - A prehistoric family goes on a road trip. 98 min.

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES - PG13 - Sci-Fi/Action - The damn, dirty apes are close to taking over the world, but a band of plucky humans are still fighting. 130 min.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes opens this week

Dracula is now operating a resort for monsters, but then some meddling boy shows up and falls for his daughter. Typical. 91 min.

PLANES: FIRE AND RESCUE - PG - Animation When Dusty the air racer finds he may never compete again, he decides to become an aerial firefighter. Voices by Julie Bowen, Dane Cook and Ed Harris. 83 min.

RIFFTRAX LIVE SHARKNADO - NR - Sci-Fi/Silliness - Watch the SciFy Channel’s “classic” flick Sharknado with the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 gang. 120 min.

SMURFS 2 - G - Animation - Gargamel (voiced by Hank Azaria) captures Smurfette (Katy Perry) so he can start turning Naughties into Smurfs. 105 min.

EARTH TO ECHO - PG - Adventure/Family - A group of kids make friends with an alien, and then try to help it. If this sounds familiar, it just means you’re old. See this week’s film review. 89 min.

THE ENCHANTED ISLAND: MET SUMMER ENCORE - NR - Watch the Metropolitan Opera perform The Enchanted Island. 195 min.

GRATEFUL DEAD MEET UP 2014 - PG13 - Music - Here’s a remastered look at one of the band’s studio performances during its 1972 European tour.

Running time unavailable.

A HARD DAYS NIGHT - NR - Music - This is the classic 1964 musical documentary of a day in the life of The Beatles. 87 min.

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA - PG - Animation -

THIRD PERSON - R - Romance - Three couples interconnect in three love stories set in Rome, Paris and New York. 137 min.

NOW PLAYING BLENDED - PG13 - Comedy - Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore play single parents stuck at a family resort after a bad blind date. 117 min.

DELIVER US FROM EVIL - R - Horror - A cop and a priest battle the demons possessing New York City. Stars Eric Bana and Olivia Munn. 118 min.

CHEF - R - Comedy - Jon Favreau writes, directs and stars in this tale of an unemployed chef who tries to regain greatness through a food truck. 115 min.

EDGE OF TOMORROW - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi Did you like Groundhog Day? Did you like Starship Troopers? Well, here’s both movies, in one convenient package. Stars Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt. 113 min.

GODZILLA - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Imagine a world in which none of the 10,000 movies with the word “Godzilla” in the title were made, and then a giant monster lizard rises out of the ocean and threatens the world. That’s the movie. 123 min.

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 - PG - Animation - It’s like the first How To Train Your Dragon film, but with more dragons. 102 min.

MALEFICENT - PG - Family/Action - Angelina Jolie plays a bitter witch or something who curses an infant princess, only to realize the girl may hold the key to her (the witch’s) happiness, or something. 97 min.

MY ILLEGAL WIFE - NR - Romance/Comedy Clarise wants to be married. When she wakes up on an island next to amnesiac Henry, Clarise decides to take advantage of the situation. 115 min.

NEIGHBORS - R - Comedy - A couple with a newborn moves next to a frat house. Stars Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne. 96 min.

TAMMY - R - Comedy - When a woman loses her job and finds out her husband cheated on her, she does what we all do: take a road trip with her profane grandmother.

Stars Melissa McCarthy and Susan Sarandon. 96 min.

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS - PG13 - Drama/Ro-

mance - Love story about two teens–one needs an oxygen tank, the other has a prosthetic leg–who fell for each other in a cancer support group. 125 min.

THINK LIKE A MAN TOO - PG13 - Comedy - In this sequel, a bunch of couples are in Vegas for a wedding but their misadventures upstage the bride and groom’s big day. 106 min.

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi/Toy Commercial - More giant robots that stomp around, blowing up everything, less Shia LeBeouf. Stars Mark Wahlberg and Nicola Peltz. See this week’s film review. 165 min.

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST - PG13 - Action/Fantasy - The X-Men of the present send Wolverine back in time to the earlier X-Men to save the X-Men of the future, I think. Stars Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen. 131 min.

LAST CHANCE 22 JUMP STREET - R - Action/Comedy - Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum return as undercover cops, this time at a local college. 112 min.

JERSEY BOYS - R - Music/Drama - Clint Eastwood directs this look at Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. 134 min.

KUNG FU PANDA 2 - PG - Animation/Adventure This 2011 sequel finds Po and his friends fighting an evil peacock from taking over China. 91 min.

JULY 10, 2014 21

by Alex Mitchell & Dayna Yamasaki

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS STAY EAZY - Thu, Jul 10. When’s the last time you hung loose with Stay Eazy? This local duo–comprised of Austin Carvalho and Gabe Goebbert– have been playing together since they were in high school. Hang Loose Lounge, (333 Dairy Rd.) Kahului, 808-877-6284 YUM YUM BEAST - Fri, Jul 11. Celebrate a full moon Friday with the delicious sounds of Jamie Bowersox, John Michael, Justin Morris and Matt Delolmo.

Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.) 808-572-0220 MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM - Sat, Jul 12.

DJ Sweet Beets & E.L.F. with visuals by Arcane.

Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.) 808-572-0220 KANEKOA - Sat, Jul 13. Legendary live music for Sunday afternoon. 5pm Steel Horse Saloon, (1234 Lower Main St.) 808-234-2206 NORA BOONE & SCOTT BAIRD - Wed, July 17. Duo rocks it out at the Stopwatch! (1127 Makawao Ave.) 808-572-1380

STAGE ‘PIPPIN’ - Fri-Sun, July 5-6 & July 10-13. The Maui Academy of Performing Art's Teen Summer Musical Theatre Camp presents Pippen this Saturday. Camp consisted of approximately 200 hours of intensive training in acting, dancing and singing, culminating in a limited six-show production complete with live music. Recommended for ages 13+. Showtimes: Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 7:30 pm and Sunday at 3pm. $15 adults, $12 students (18 and under); Steppingstone Playhouse (Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Kahului); 808- 244-8760, Mauiacademy.org ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 14 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful and entertaining cultural education on Maui. Starting at $15.99 keiki / $39.99 adults. Kama‘aina, dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com BURN’N LOVE–A MUSICAL JOURNEY STARRING DARREN LEE - Daily. Experience Elvis in Hawaii with Burn’n Love! Relive the nostalgia of Blue Hawaii and the Aloha from Hawaii live broadcast that made TV history with the most authentic Elvis tribute show ever presented on stage. Shows Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 8pm.

Tickets start at $59.99, and kama‘aina prices are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 8pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com ‘LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL’ - Maui OnStage’s Legally Blond: the Musical opens this Friday.

Based on Amanda Brown’s novel, Heather Hach’s book and the 2001 MGM film, Elle Woods (played

by Casey Murphy Hughes), Warner Huntington III, Emmett Forrest and the girls of Delta Nu will appear in this local rendition of the law school comedy. The former Hawaiian Tropic girl will give Harvard a run for its money when she proves that there’s more to her than blonde locks. 7:30pm Fridays and Saturdays and 3pm Sundays. $17-$28. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969, Mauionstage.com

FOODIE AMERICAN MUSIC, WINE & FOOD - Thu. Jul 10. Stimulate the senses from all sides with all American dishes, California wines and live music

by Master Sommelier Patrick Okubo. 6:30pm.

Molokini Bar & Grille, Makena Beach Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888 JACKSON FAMILY WINE DINNER - Sat. Jul 12. Join special guest host and Master Sommelier Michael Jordan at this five course paired dinner by Chef De Cuisine Kurt Lesmerisis. Wine pioneer

22 JULY 10, 2014

Jess Jackson founded the Jackson Family Wines Collection in 1982 and it’s known for distinct, handcrafted wines. This dinner will focus on their wines from Sonoma and Napa Valley. Makena Beach Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888

the past, the exhibit will feature art inspired by the traditions, lifestyle and individuals that contributed to Maui’s unique cowboy culture. Daily, 10am-4pm.

Free. Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center. (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560, Huinoeau.com

BEER SCHOOL - Tue. Jul 15. This installment of your local beer school is all about Hops. Is it an herb? Is it a flower? Learn all about that delicious addition to your craft beer. $20. 11:30am. Maui Brewing Co. Brewpub, (4405 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-3474

ARIEL QUIROZ - Fri, Jul 11. Ariel Quiroz will be painting portraits in the gallery. There’s drawing, painting, portraiture and the human figure, mixing realistic effects with Impressionism and Expressionism. Quiroz’s art stimulates the imagination and translates feelings into arresting images. 12pm-3pm. Maui Hands (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008, Mauihands.com

VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Thu, July 10. See (and sample) how Chef Rachel Davies uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast, and desserts. No registration required. For a jump start on the class, check out more than 600 healthy recipes online. First and third Thursday of every month.

Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Down To Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; Downtoearth.org JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - Sat, Jul 12. Join Japengo’s sushi chef in their chic sushi lounge. Learn how to create Japengo’s signature sushi rolls from scratch, with hands-on instruction from Chef Jay and Japengo’s team of expert sushi chefs. $50 per person (includes sushi, non-alcoholic beverages, tax and gratuity). Maximum 20 people per class, reservations are required. Everyy second and fourth 4:30 0pm Japengo at the Saturday of every month. 3-4:30pm ea Kai K Dr., Hyatt Regency, (200 Nohea 7; Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; Maui.hyatt.com

ARIEL QUIROZ - Sat, Jul 12. Same as above, but in Paia. 12-5pm. Maui Hands Galleries (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); mauihands.com CLAIRE BLAHNIK - Sat, Jul 12. Artist Claire Blahnik will be at the gallery to show off her beautiful oil paintings. Oil paintings is her way to capture the beauty of Maui more than any other mediums. Her pieces represent her favorite aspects of the island lifestyle and culture. 11am-3pm. Maui Hands (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008, Mauihands.com ISLAND ART PARTY CLASSES- Wed-Sat. Art Party from 6:30-9:30pm, Sunday Morning Art Party 10am-1pm. It’s part art party, part painting class. Island Art Party (1279 S. Kihei Rd.), 808419-6020; islandartparty.com

INSIDE STORIES - Daily. Rose Adare (“Restraint and Revolution tion”), Gabrielle Anderman (“ (“Fear, Letting Go”) and May IIzumi (“Cloud Formations SHOEMAKER CAMP and Other Phenomena”) Wed. Jul 16. James Shoewill take part in a gallery maker swizzles the Pau walk-through, giving fans Vodka into streamlined suman opportunity to learn mer sippables starring local about their work. The three UT O products. One night only! Be CK local artists have drawn there or be square. 5pm. DaCHE EEK N inspiration from themes of A W C zoo (71 Baldwin Ave.) Paia HE p playful fantasy and bohemiYOU FT .

O 8 U an anism. Free. MACC, SchaeSUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU KS E1 PIC PAG thy fer Gallery (One Cameron - Sun, Jul 13. Enjoy a healthy ON itionWay, Kahului); 808-242-7469, and modern take on a traditionMauiarts.o al Hawaiian dish, every Sunday Mauiarts.org y the laulau evening at Ko. Come early, O O - Mon, July 14. Tiki FOLAU TUPOU special is first-come, first-served and does sell carving in the gallery. The art of tiki carving was out. Kama‘aina offer not applicable. Ko Restaurant passed to Tupou from his Uncle Lavaka at age at The Fairmont Kea Lani, Maui, (4100 Wailea Al15, as he will also pass the art to his son when anui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com he turns 10. A reknown wood carver and canoe PULEHU BAR–WINE SOCIAL EVENTS - Every builder, Tupou is famous through the state and Sun & Mon. Book ahead of time for this fabulous South Pacific. 3-5pm. Maui Hands Galleries (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); mauihands.com weekly event. Sixteen people maximum will enjoy three award-winning wines, one bite to eat and great conversation with new friends. 5-5:45pm.

For reservations, please visit Opentable.com. PuMICK FLEETWOOD - Thur, Jul 10. $49-$149. lehu Italian Grill, Westin Ka‘anapali Ocean Resort 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One CamVillas. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali). eron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org ROCK & BREWS- ROCKIN’ SUMMER CONLISA LOEB - Fri, Jul 11. $30-$45. 7:30pm. Maui Arts CERT SERIES - (Every Mon-Thu, Jun. 23- Aug. 28) and Culture Center, Yokouchi Pavilion (One Cameron They will highlight a playlist of the “best of” songs Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org from some of rock’s biggest names, including: The Rolling Stones, KISS (two members of which parNA HOKU HOU - Sat, Jul 12. $35-$75. 5:30pm gate. tially own the joint), The Eagles, Elton John and more.

6pm. Show. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cam9pm-close. Rock & Brews. (120 Hana Hwy., Paia); eron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org 808-579-9011; Rockandbrews.com/paia CHARICE PEMPENGCO - Sun, Jul 13. $39-$102.

RAINBOW DINE-OUT GROUP - Tue, Jun 10.

7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron The Rainbow Dine-Out Group is an opportunity Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org for our LGBT ohana and visitors to meet socially OPERA MAUI BENEFIT CONCERT - Fri, Jul 18. and enjoy a delicious meal. 6pm-8pm. (Every third This inaugural concert features Hawaii’s own GramThursday, rotating location). For more information, my Award-winning opera stars Quinn Kelsey and call 808-446-0549.

Audrey Luna, along with the Metropolitan Opera’s Shoshanah Marote as well as Jim Price, the headliner of last summer’s Les Miserables. Toronto-based PANIOLO COUNTRY: A THEMED EXHIBITION Hawaiian pianist Maika‘i Nash accompanies this eve- Last Chance! Through July 11. The Hui No‘eau ning of opera’s greatest hits. It’s a rare opportunity to Visual Arts Center is presenting “Paniolo Country: hear a standout cast of international opera singers in A Themed Exhibition.” Honoring an integral part of an intimate space. All proceeds benefit Opera Maui.

'T N O D T! E G FOR

TICKETS ON SALE

ART

Tickets are $39.7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater.

Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org MAYJAH RAYJAH - Fri, Jul 25- Sat, Jul 26. Check out Hawaii’s premiere annual island and Reggae music festival, and its biggest yet, spanning two nights and featuring international stars Shaggy of Jamaica and J Boog of California, plus local favorites. Friday’s line-up includes Shaggy, Rebel Souljahz, Anuhea, Awa, Kapena, Bo Napoleon, Sammy J, Mahi Crabbe, Shar Carillo and Swiss. Saturday has J Boog, Hot Rain, Common Kings, Tenelle, Nesian Nine, Jah Maoli, Siaosi, Kiwini Vaitai, The Jimmy Weeks Project, Jay Keyz and Inna Vision.

Tickets are $58 for two-day admission, per night is $33 advance /$40 day of-show /$29 night, Group Rate for 10 or more. Ticket outlets: Request Music in Wailuku, Hard Rock Café in Lahaina. A&B Amphitheater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org SOLO SESSIONS: BILL CHAMPLIN - Sun, Jul 27. Musician Bill Champlin is probably best known for his role as keyboardist in the group Chicago.

His featured spots on the hits, “Look Away” and “Hard Habit to Break,” are among his mainstream highlights. But Champlin’s defining work with the Sons of Champlin and as a songwriter put him on the musical map long before he joined Chicago.

Tickets are $30, and $45. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org JAZZ MAUI 2014 ALL-STAR CONCERT - Fri, Aug 1. This event will feature an evening of world class jazz with performances by Russian trumpeter Valery Ponomarev of Art Blakey & the Jazz Messengers; Honolulu vocalist Shari Lynn, who performed with George Shear and award-winning pianist Tommy James, the music director of the Duke Ellington Orchestra. Pre-show performance in the courtyard at 6pm by Na Ali‘i Big Band.

Tickets are $30. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater.

Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org AUGIE T–SO DUMB 2014 TOUR - Fri, Aug 15. Hawaii’s favorite comedian is back to produce and film his sixth one-man statewide comedy show. It’s been three years since his last one-man show, but Augie’s been busy: the “Laugh for Relief” Comedy Tour in March 2014 with Filipino American comedian Rex Navarrete, the “Na Alii of Comedy Tour” in 2013 and the 2012 show “Portuguese Kings of Comedy.” Tickets are $20, $35. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater.

Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org SOJA + MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD - Fri, Aug 29. SOJA’s music, a blend of Reggae, go-go, D.C. hardcore, Latin, rock and hip-hop, is about finding the happiness and peace that everyone deserves; their live shows are an explosion of energy and positivity. Michael Franti also knows about the power of music: how it can inspire, uplift and make people want to dance or cry, and he and his band Spearhead are known for the communal spirit they create. Tickets are $39.50 advance, $45 day-of; VIP $80 advance, $85 day-of. Gates open at 5pm. A&B Amphitheater.Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org HAWAII INTERNATIONAL TROPICAL FRUIT CONFERENCE - Fri, Sep 12-Sun, Sep 14.

Geared to farmers, educators, orchard managers and proponents of sustainable agriculture, the weeklong event is presented by the statewide Hawaii Tropical Fruit Growers and is open to the public. The conference is titled “It’s All About Production” and offers a variety of breakout sessions, plus visiting researchers and agro experts. Considered the world’s leading expert on post-harvest technology, the University of Hawaii’s Dr. Robert Paull will do a dinner presentation on “Phenology,

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AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

Summer Sessions w/DJ Blast, 10pm

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Live Music 6:30 no cover

COOL CAT CAFE

Frisky Friday DJ Larage, 10pm

Sunrise saturday DJ Decka, 10pm

Volcanic LGBT DJ Playwfire Ono 9pm

Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

Full Moon on Yum Yum Beast $10 9:45

Midsummer Nights Dream Thriftworks, Sweet Beets, ELF $20

MON-Mellow Yellow TUE- DJ Skinny Guy 10pm, WED-Polka Dots & Moonbeams 10pm

TUE-Willie K, $10 9pm WED- Famous Ladies Night w/DJ Kurt, 9-1am MON - Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm TUE - Tex Mex Tuesday w/ Howard Ahia & Friends 6:30-8:30

DJ Kamikaze & DJ Big Mike $10 10pm Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz 7:30-10pm WED-TBA

8 Track Players 8pm

DJ 9pm

Hot Mess 9pm

Gina Martinelli 6pm

WED-Hump Day

Quiz 7pm

DJ, 10pm

Jordan 7pm

Natalie Robles 6pm

MON-Lawaia, TUE- Bartenders Mix, WEDHappy Humpday!

744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

Eddison Jones: Rock & Folk Duo

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House Shakers Brunch, 12:30-3pm I Drive Rock 6:30pm

Jazz Brunch, 1-4pm PM-Rick G

MON- Rick G, WED- Kanekoa

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

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Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd.- 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST.

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-5700

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Productivity and Profits.” Those registering before Aug. 1 will enjoy a discounted fee of up to $75.

Kahili Golf Course. (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy, Wailuku); Hawaiitropicalfruitgrowers.org

EVENTS THURSDAY, JULY 10 GEORGE KAHUMOKU, JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. This week will include a line-up of slack key artists, featuring an award-winning musician every week. $37-$79. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; slackkeyshow.com

FRIDAY, JULY 11 HAWAIIAN ISLANDS LAND TRUST SERVICE PROJECT - Visit Waihe‘e Coastal Dunes and Wetlands Refuge, a remarkable coastal area that’s rich in Hawaiian history and bird watching. Meet at 8am at the Waihee Refuge, located off Halewaiu Road and help remove invasive species and clear brush until 12pm. Bring water and sunscreen, and wear closed-toe shoes, pants and hat for sun protection. Snacks and cold drinks provided. 8am-12pm.

Waihe‘e Refuge. (Halewaiu Road, Waihe‘e); 808249-8811 ext. 1; Volunteersonvacation.org

SATURDAY, JULY 12 LEI HULU AND HULA IN KIPAHULU - Local residents Judy Kinser and Patricia Gomez will teach hula and demonstrate the traditional art of lei feather making, respectively, in the Kipahulu District of Haleakala National Park. Cultural demonstrations like these are part of the Hana No‘eau program in Kipahulu on the second and fourth Saturdays of July. 1-3pm. Kipahulu, Haleakala National Park. 808-572-4400 VOLUNTEER: HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK - Free transportation and admission to Haleakala National Park on a volunteering adventure led by a certified naturalist from Pacific Whale Foundation.

MON-Evan Schulman 5:30-8:30pm, TUE- Elvis!

Burn’n Love Sneak Peak, 6:30pm, WED-Kenny Roberts, 5:30-8:30pm

Evan Shulman, 5:30-8:30pm Karaoke 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

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You’ll help remove invasive plants or help with other projects to protect the park’s unique eco-system.

808-249-8811 ext. 1; volunteersonvacation.org VOLUNTEER: MALAMA HONOKOWAI Volunteer with Malama Honokowai and visit the beautiful and hidden Honokowai Valley, an area closed to the public. Among Hawaiian archaeological sites, you’ll learn about Hawaiian history and culture as you help to remove invasive weed plants and possibly plant native species. 9am-3:30pm. North Sugar Cane Train Station. (Pu‘ukoli Road, Ka‘anapali); 808- 2498811 ext. 1; volunteersonvacation.org SUMMER BASH - The Summer Bash helps support the Queen Liliuokalani Childrens’ Center by providing it with school supplies. It will feature performances by an Elvis impersonator, the Konomi Dance works, a classic door show, and door prizes for donating to the charity. Free.

6-8pm. Pi‘ilani Village Shopping Center (22 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei)

SUNDAY, JULY 13 20TH ANNUAL PICNIC EVENT - Join the Italian American Club Of Maui at their 20th annual picnic event. Eat, speak Italian, and have fun conversation in la belle lingua Italiana. Please bring a potluck dish to share that serves five or more. Attendees are encouraged to participate in a competitive meatball cook-off, dessert cook-off and a bocce ball contest with great prizes. BYOB beer & wine.

There will be a large swimming pool; towels and swimsuits are necessary. Free. 10am-4pm. Villa Vitale (45 Welina Pl., Makawao); 808-280-8008; Italianamericanclubofmaui.com FREE HULA SHOW - Free. 11am Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com GLBT MAUI PRIDE MARTINI NIGHT - GLBT and friends are invited to sip martinis and mingle every Sunday at Ambrosia. Free. No host food & drinks. 8pm-2am Ambrosia, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; mauipride.org

WED - Karaoke 9pm

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MONDAY, JULY 14 VOLUNTEER: HOALOHA‘AINA - Join South Maui volunteers and group leaders Bob and Lis Richardson to help maintain an ocean-side trail, restore sand dunes, pick-up litter and remove invasive species from 7:30am-9:30am. Every Monday. 808-2498811 ext. 1., or email volunteersonvacation.org

TUESDAY, JULY 15 HOW TO CRAFT A MEANINGFUL MARKETING MESSAGE - Learn how to craft a concise marketing message that people will actually remember.

Danielle Miller is a social media marketer, small business enthusiast and founder of a marketing consulting company in Maui. She is on a mission to help small business owners on Maui use social media to market their products and services. Reserve your seat by calling. Free. 12-1pm. Maui Mall Suite B-9 (70 E Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-873-8247; FREE SPINAL HEALTH SCREENINGS - Dr. James Urban has more than 20 years of experience in the “gonstead” art from of adjusting–the “gold standard” in traditional full-spine adjusting. Urban is offering free health scans of the spine through the use of thermography for Whole Foods Market customers. Thermography reads temperatures along the spine that can indicate pain, trauma, imbalance or other potential hidden health problems and only takes seconds. First-come, first-served. Free.

12:30-3:30pm. Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 x120

WEDNESDAY, JULY 16 SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back.

Meet at South Maui Bicycles shop shortly before 7am. Road bikes recommended. Free. Every Wednesday. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; southmauibicycles.com CRACKING THE ‘CREATIVE CONTENT’ PLANNING CODE - Learn how content planning and

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strategy can make you more money. Learn three easy rules to follow for every writing piece; nine free online PR tools for business; three ninja contentwriting tricks; and keyword stuffing. Nico Fisher is an energetic entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience in marketing and social media. She’s presently a marketing strategist, social media consultant and trainer and is passionate about taking companies from good to great through various marketing avenues. Free. 12-1:15pm. Maui Mall Suite B-9 (70 E Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-873-8247 GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Every Wednesday experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show.

This week will include a line-up of slack key artists, featuring an award winning musician every week. $37-$79. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; slackkeyshow.com

FARMERS MARKET, ART/CRAFT FAIRS NAPILI FARMERS MARKET - Wed 8-11 am.

Across the highway from Napili Market, before Maui Preparatory Academy FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, HONOKOWAI - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11am Farmers Market Maui & Deli, (3636 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Kahana); 808-669-7004 FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, KIHEI - MonFri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. On Fridays, open until 5pm. 8am4pm Farmers Market of Maui, (61 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-0949 MAKAWAO FARMERS MARKET - Every Wed. Fresh produce. Everything sold is Maui Grown, non-GMO and organic. 9am-2pm Po‘okela Church, (200 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-419-1570

JULY 10, 2014 23

NOW SERVING BREAKFAST DAILY FROM 8AM-11AM MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S!

OPEN 8AM - 1:30AM 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299

24 JULY 10, 2014

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KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kawika’s Krew

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Jarod or Maui Blues & Co 7pm; no cover

MON - John Ness or The Vamp TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm

1810’, 6:30-8:30pm

Barefoot Minded, 8:15pm

Willie K, 9pm

JD & Harry 3-5pm, Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm

MON -Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm, TUE & WED - Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON-Trivia 7-9pm

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE

Free Karaoke All Day!

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MAUI BEACH HOTEL 1 70 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului - 877-0051

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MILL HOUSE (MAUI TROPICAL PLANTATION) 1670 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Waikapu- 243-9618

FARMERS MARKET IN PAIA - Daily. Island grown fruit smoothies, coconut water and fresh juices. Organically grown Maui fruits and veggies.

Produce Boxes available. Support your local farmers at One Love market at the Historic Paia Train Station. 10am-6pm One Love Market, (381 Baldwin Ave, Paia); 808-280-9019; Onelovemarket.com ONO ORGANIC FARMS - Daily (except Sat).

A family-owned and operated, certified organic coffee and tropical fruit farm. 10:30am-6pm Ono Organic Farms, (149 Hana Hwy.) KULA COUNTRY FARMS - Daily (except Mon).

Kula Country Farm stand offers fruits and vegetables that are only locally grown and harvested fresh then stocked on the shelves daily. Open T-Th 11am to 5pm. 11am-4pm Kula Country Farms, (Kula Hwy at Kekaulike Avenue, Kula) OPEN MARKET - Every Wed. Hale Ku‘ai Open Market features fresh fruit and vegetables open to the public on Wednesday from 11am to 2pm.

Available for pre-orders pick up on Wednesday call 984-2156 or email lanakilahalekuai@gmail. com. Free. 11am-2pm Open market, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156 FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE LAHAINA Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 10am-12pm Republic Parking Lot, (Corner of Dickenson and Waine‘e, Lahaina); Feedmysheepmaui.com HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Every Thu. 11am-3pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy) FARMERS MARKET UHMC - Every Mon & Thu. Enjoy fresh sustainably grown produce including tomatoes, lettuce, eggplant, squash, kale, beets, radish, herbs, Asian greens, daikon, chard, flowers and more. Grown on campus by Agriculture and Natural Resource students. 12-1:30pm University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHANA - Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Free. 2-4pm Lahaina Christian Fellowship Church, (4275 Hine Way, Kahana); Feedmysheepmaui.com

Whiskey Pimps $10

Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 7-9:30pm

DJ Andrew Dana $5

Rock Thursdays & Pool Tournament 8pm-close

Ignite Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & Kamikaze, 10pm

MON- S.I.N. 10pm, TUE-Trivia Night 8pm, WED-Karaoke 10pm

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Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolf / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

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LIPOA STREET FARMERS MARKET IN KIHEI - Every Sat. Fruits, produce and Ono Farm sourced foods, 8:30am-11:00am, (95 Lipoa St., Kihei) MAUI SWAP MEET - Every Sat. From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, produce market, this place pretty much has it all.

50 cents admission. 7am-1pm Maui Community College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808244-3100; Mauiexposition.com UPCOUNTRY FARMER’S MARKET - Every Sat. Find the best veggies, fruits, flowers and plants, Maui farmers have to offer. Plus, extra goodies like jams and jellies. 7-11am Kulamalu Town Center (near Longs Drugs), 808-283-3257; Upcountryfarmersmarket.org; Upcountryfarmersmarket@gmail.com LAHAINA ARTS SOCIETY’S FINE ART FAIR Every Sun & Sat. Under the shade of Lahaina’s famous Banyan Tree, check out over 50 select Maui artists. Listen to live music and find unique treasures including paintings, ceramics, jewelry, photography, glass art, wood carvings, baskets and more. Free.

9am-5pm. Banyan Tree Park, (649 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-9175; Visitlahaina.com FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHULUI - Every Sat. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 9:30am-12pm Christ the King Church, (Corner of Wakea Avenue and Pu‘unene Avenue., Kahului); Feedmysheepmaui.com HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Mondays. 3-6pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy.) ARTISAN FAIR - Mondays. Come to shop, stay to dine. Local made on Maui Artists showcasing and selling artwork, photography, jewelry, accessories, clothing, massage and wellness.

Cash bar and complimentary valet. Free entry.

5-10pm Longhi’s Lahaina, (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com

KARAOKE FREE KARAOKE - Every Sun & Wed. L‘ava Sports Bar & Karaoke, (1088 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-4888 KARAOKE - Every Wed. No cover. 10pm1am Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill, (Lahai-

na Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808 KARAOKE WITH “AUNTIE” TODDY LILIKOI IN THE LOUNGE AREA - Every Fri & Sat. Oku’s sushi is available until 11:30pm. 9:30pm Kobe Japanese Steakhouse & Oku’s Sushi Bar, (136 Dickenson St., Lahaina); 808-667-5555; kobemaui.com KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT - Every Sun & Mon. Welcoming all workers from the food and beverage industry to let loose and belt a tune. Half off food and drinks. No Cover. 8pm Haui’s Life’s A Beach, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Sat, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7:3010pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Classic Rock 4-10pm; Every Tue & Sat, Easy Listening 4-10pm; Sun, Classic Rock 4-10pm; Mon, Jazz Rock 4-10pm; Every Wed & Fri, Rock & Roll 4-10pm. (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855.

COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Mon, Peter D 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm. (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Mon, Keali‘i Lum 3-5pm, Eddie Sabala 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben 3-5pm, Eddie Sabala 6-8:30pm; Wed, Danyell 3-5pm, Puhi K6 6-8:30pm; Thu, Ben 3-5pm, Danyell & Roy 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Henry Kapono (June 6 only) 5-7pm, Damon & Tim 6-8pm; Sat, Danyell 3-5pm, Damon & Ron Oversize Prod.

6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali‘i Lum 3-5pm, Damon & Ron Oversize Prod. 6-8:30pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT STREET - Thu, Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Mon, Rick G 6:30-9:30pm; Fri, The House Shakers 6:30pm; Mon, Alapa Drive: Full Rock Band 6:30-9:30pm; Daily, Fleetwood’s on Front St. Oyster Hour 5-6pm. (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Mon: Evan Shulman 5:30-

8:30, Wed: Kenny Roberts 5:30-8:30, Thur: Elvis!

Burn’n Love Sneak Peak 6:30, Fri: Evan Shulman 5:30-8:30. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua‘a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Damon Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali‘i Parillo 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Mark D’Antonio 6:30pm; Sat, Damon Parillo 1:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali‘i 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am. (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636.

JAPENGO AT THE HYATT REGENCY - Thu, Kanoa Kukaua Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Mando Kane 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:308:30pm; Mon, Margie Hart 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kanoa Kukauta 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Pam Peterson 6:30-8:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Mel Arausa 7-10pm; Sun, Mike Madden 7-10pm; Mon, Farzad Azad 7-10pm; Tue, Cole Suletna 7-10pm; Wed, Tracy Stiles 7-10pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Honokowai); 808-667-0787.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakugawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm.

(843 Waine‘e St., Lahaina); 808-667-6655 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495.

JULY 10, 2014 25

THE ALL-NEW 142 HANA HWY • PAIA • 808-579-8085 WWW.CHARLEYSMAUI.COM THURS | 7/10

THURSDAY NIGHT MUSIC TBA

Voted Best New Restaurant

by Hawaii on TV

6:30AM-8:30PM • NO COVER

New Summer Menu INCLUDING THE BEST STEAK & LOBSTER DISHES

Maui’s Best Happy Hour 1/2 OFF BAR MENU

Daily 3pm - 6pm & 9pm - 10pm 1945 S. KIHEI RD • 808.214.5788 11AM - 11PM MON - SAT 7AM - 11PM SUNDAY

FRI | 7/11

DJ KAMIKAZE & DJ BIG MIKE 10PM • $10 COVER

SAT | 7/12 NO MUSIC TONIGHT

SALOON WILL BE OPEN SUN | 7/13 BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

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MON | 7/14 CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND

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Willie K 6:30pm, Trish Da Dish Pub Quiz, 9:30pm

Andrew Corradini 6:309pm

Soul Kitchen 7-9pm

House Shakers, 7-10pm

MON- Stay Eazy 6:30-8:30pm, TUE -Mulligans Magic Show, 6:30-8pm, WED-Joel Katz Steel Guitar / Willie K Dinner Show

Hawaiian Music w/ Uncle Ahtim Elenek, 4-7pm

Steve Craig, 6:30-9:30pm

Steve Sargenti, 6:30-9:30pm

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TUE- Shea & Eddie, WED- Steve Craig, 5:309:30pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

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Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

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Summer Shakedown DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini 10pm

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MON - SIN w/DJ Big Mike , TUE - DJ Salvo10pm, WED - Dan Hiss 4-6pm, Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka,10 pm

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Jazz 7:30-10:30pm

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SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

WED- Jazz 8:30pm, no cover

LONGBOARDS KA‘ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-1200.

Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm. (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-8025.

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LONGHI’S LAHAINA - Fri, DJ Swamp 9:30pm1:30am; Every Sun, Two Cats 7-9:30pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288

UMALU - Sun, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; Mon, Kawika LumHo 6-8pm; Tue, Craig Soderberg 6-8pm; Wed, Kawika Ortiz 5-9:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Wed, Jarret Roback 7-9pm; Thu, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Thu, Mike Finkiewicz & Craig Soderberg 7-9pm; Fri, Tom 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka‘oka 7-9pm; Sat, Brian Haia 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Joshua Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Stay Eazy 4-6pm; Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alika 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322.

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MERRIMAN’S - Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm; Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400.

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200.

SOUTH MAUI BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm. (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm; (555 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-879-2224.

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Thu, 8 Track Players 8pm; Fri, DJ 9pm; Sat, The Hott Mess 9pm; Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299.

PARADISE GRILL - Fri, Kaliko’s Way 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troup E 6-9pm. (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Thu, Quiz 7pm; Fri, DJ 10pm; Mon, Lawaia 10pm; Sun, Natalie Robles 6pm; Sat, Jordan T. 7pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Thu, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

GANNON’S A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm; Fri, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm. (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 6-9pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Dominic 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888.

THE CLIFF DIVE BAR - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:308pm; Sat, Larry Golis & Hollis Lee 6:30-8pm;

MAUI COAST HOTEL - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm;

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Willie K. 7-9pm; Thu, Super Fun Pub Quiz with Trish 9:30pm; Fri, Andrew Corradini 6:30pm; Sat, Soul Kitchen 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, House Shakers 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, Stay Eazy 6:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith’s Mulligan’s Magic Show 6:30-8pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:306:30pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

5-9pm; Sat, Ben Deleon 5-9pm; Sun, Live Music 5-8pm; Mon, Ben Deleon 5-8pm; Wed, Sheron Depont 5-8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001.

UPCOUNTRY CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Thu, Thursday night music TBA 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Tex Mex Tuesdays with Howard Ahia & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - First Wednesday, Mark Johnstone & Justin Favell 5:30-8pm; (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Thu, Rick 6-9pm; Fri, Steve Sargenti and Swiss 6-9pm; Sat, Tradewinds 6-9pm; Mon, Hula Honeys 6-9pm; Wed, Betz and Adam with Vince Esquire 6:30-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Mon, Twisted Hips Belly Dancing 6-8pm; Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:307:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

RITA’S - Thu, Hawaiian Music with Ahtim Elenek 7pm; Sat, Blues with Louise Lambert and Kenny Geiser 6:30-9:30pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-5788.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Thu, Rama Camarillo 6:308:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Artie Parti 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 6:30-8:30pm.

(2395 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-2910.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Fri, Louise Lambert Jazz Trio 7:30-10:30pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Pi‘ilani Arias 5-8pm; Fri, Local Live Music

JULY 10, 2014 27

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

You often get the front seat to various minor soap operas, and let’s face it; you enjoy it. It can be fun to watch other people freak out, screw each other or screw each other over (or both), fall in and out of love, and generally be sloppy and eminently human.

Be careful of this week’s newest drama, though. It’s the kind that can suck you right into it before you’ve even noticed; there’s no fourth wall in this theater.

Either sneak out now, during the intermission, and don’t show your face in this neighborhood again until the run of the show is long over, or brace yourself for the kind of performance that teaches you an important lesson or two—the hard way.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

From inside your head, it seems like people have been constantly letting you down lately. But from out here, it’s more like we’ve been failing to live up to your unguessable expectations. It’s not that we’re falling short of what you’d hope—it’s that we’re aiming in the wrong direction. Of course we’re going to say and do the “wrong” shit, when you haven’t properly clued us in to what would please you better. Take some responsibility for your own frustration, please. It’s only obvious to you what we’re supposed to be doing. Of course, you can continue being disappointed if you prefer, but if I were you, I’d spell it out. We’ll deliver.

QUIZ understood 1: B–George Ariyoshi 2: D–Bans minors from using tanning beds 3: A–U.S. Senate candidate Brian Schatz

WUJI FOR KIDS:

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Be the ascending royal who doesn’t show up to her own coronation. Screw the hierarchical bullshit that has given your sign such a bad rep. Leos are naturally more radiant than most folk, but that doesn’t make you better. In other words, be the picture of modesty if you have to this week, so they can’t help but get it.

It’s time to ditch some of that stereotypical Leo stuff, and move onto the next thing. No need to be wildly selfless or self-effacing. But do please move over, share everything, and avoid selfishness at all costs.

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

You’re a banana; at least, you think you are. As far as you’re concerned, you’re a self-contained, delicious, helpful, nourishing and cheerful sort, who’s actually good for the people around you. Everyone loves bananas! Don’t they? Unfortunately, this week, when you’re at your yellowest, sweetest, and most tempting, you’re bound to encounter a couple of people who despise bananas. Don’t let it get you down, or dramatically rethink your self-appraisal.

It’s largely correct. Don’t obsess about it, either.

Ultimately, chalk this up to one of those, “can’t please everybody” lessons, and move on.

QI-GONG WORKSHOP FOR KIDS AGES 6-11 JULY 19 • 3:30-5:30PM $30

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines. It’s time for a preliminary run around the track, to make sure you know what you’re doing. Still, the pressure’s on; this is the qualifying round for a race that you’ve long been training for. In some ways, this might be the most stress you’ll experience between now and when you cross the finish line. But there’ll be a number of experiences that nearly match this one in intensity, so if this is right on the edge of being too much, you might want to back out before you really get going.

Getting out of the car during a pit stop is no sweat; trying to bail at 150 miles per hour could kill you.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Being torn between what you really want to do and what you ought to do is a familiar feeling. But having these two different urges so embodied by your friends is new. How can you decide now, with one buddy urging you to pursue your selfish wishes, and another encouraging you to do what’s actually right? Don’t let them screw you up too much. It’s a shame they got the bad idea they could give you advice, because now someone’s feelings are going to get a little hurt, but ultimately you’ve still got to make your decision as if they weren’t there, and weren’t invested. Do what you will, and let them be pissed, or disappointed, or glad, or whatever—and then let them get over it, too.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

For now you might as well live as if there are tremendous black storm clouds lurking in the horizon.

They may not come this way; the wind isn’t even blowing in the right direction, for the moment. But they could swoop in at any time and dump bucketloads of rain on your head. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it could be cleansing and, in some ways, refreshing. But it could interfere with any plans of yours that depend on fair weather, emotional or otherwise. Don’t count on any picnics, honeymoons, or amiable tanning sessions this week.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

“I dream,” says my Pisces friend wistfully, “of traveling to exotic places. And then I imagine myself lying down.” Enduring long and arduous journeys just to relax and be contemplative seems strange to some of the other signs, who feel compelled to justify their trips with sights-seen, foods-eaten, and photos-taken. But to some of you Pisceans, it just sounds nice.

Unfortunately, you all too often take on the shit that other signs force upon you, like this idea about how things are done when on vacation. That’s bullshit; those idiots are just nowhere near as evolved as you.

A vacation is a vacation. Do what pleases you, and screw what the rest of us think.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

When polled about which superpower they’d select, if given the choice, each and every Ram chose an ability that would enable her to do and experience more, shunning abilities like telepathy, clairvoyance, or invisibility for ones like flight, super-strength, and teleportation. Luckily you also think those other powers are pretty cool, because your week is filled with an abundance of opportunities to learn, and a dearth of new things to actually do. Just wanted to clue you in, so you don’t waste a ton of time seeking what’s simply not there; this week, look for knowledge, not action.

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TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

It’s always a shock when someone you habitually expect to be on your side suddenly opposes you.

Rather than view it as a profound betrayal, however, think about what’s at stake. Considering that you guys are usually on the same page, isn’t it possible that there’s something to his or her side of things? Even if you can’t agree, hopefully you can see that this is a muddy, complicated issue, and respect each other’s opinions without letting it ruin the friendship.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

In the early 1800s, nitrous oxide (“laughing gas”) became the drug of choice. There were even theaters where volunteers could climb on stage, take a lungful or two, then entertain the audience with their staggering and silliness. It wasn’t until nearly five decades after its discovery that someone first thought of using the stuff for surgery. Similarly, something you only thought of as recreational (whether it’s a relationship or activity) could suddenly become obviously more than that this week—something real, lucrative (emotionally, or financially), and better than it ever was as a playtime pursuit.

Most signs either lack discipline or creativity. There are dreamers galore among the astrological pantheon, but few possess the follow-through to bring their brilliant ideas to fruition on their own. Other signs are hard workers, but they squander their incredible discipline on others’ objectives. You Twins have both inspiration and grit—your main problem is getting them both pointed in the same direction and working at the same time. It’s a tricky thing, but if you’re alert and ready to move on it, this week you ought to come up with the goal that both your work ethic and imagination can get behind.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.

JULY 10, 2014 29

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ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want.

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Patients with no insurance, KAISER, HMA, HMAA, mainland insurance or VA pay $25 more.

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