17.39 Let's Dance, March 13, 2014, Volume 17, Issue 39, MauiTime

March 13, 2014 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 39 ✚ FREE

LET’S DANCE! TALKING STORY WITH

WITH JIVA JIVE WHO COULD END T W THE COUNTY OF MAU MAUI’S

RESTRICTIONS

ON DANCING, IF HE DOESN’T

RUN OUT OF TIME. PAGE

MAYOR

WEARS WIG

PG.5

NEED FOR SPEED

ALL HAIL THE

NOODLE BURGER

PG.14

FILM REVIEW

PG.19

DOHHHHH!

PLUS

10

2

MARCH 13, 2014

Contents VOLUME 17 ✚ ISSUE 39

March 13, 2014 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 39 ✚ FREE

LET’S DANCE! TALKING STORY WITH

WITH JIVA JIVE WHO COULD END THE W T COUNTY OF MAU MAUI’S

RESTRICTIONS

ON DANCING, IF HE DOESN’T

RUN OUT OF TIME. PAGE

10

MAYOR

WEARS WIG

4 10 13 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.5

NEED FOR SPEED

ALL HAIL THE

NOODLE BURGER

PG.14

FILM REVIEW

PG.19

DOHHHHH!

What would you change your name to?

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Anonymous

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com Wilhelm Screamer

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Max Powers

Graphic Designer: Shane Fontanilla Seymore Butts

Contributors: Jenn Brown, Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Suzanne Kayian, Alex Mitchell, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II, Dayna Yamasaki, Malia Zimmerman

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Mr. Firecrotch

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Rufus T. Firefly

Admin. Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 244-0777 Sarah Diesel

Proofreader: Dina Wilson Geraldine Noyes-Wilson

ON THE COVER:

PLUS

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

LET’S DANCE Cover Design By: Darris Hurst Photo By: Sean M. Hower Illustration: shutterstock.com

News & VIEWS FEATURE STORY FOOD & DRINK THIS WEEK’S PICKS Film Critique Film Times Da Kine Calendar The Grid Classified Horoscope Mind, Body & Spirit

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2014 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

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Reader Feedback by readers like you

SHELTER TALK

In hiring the new director of the Maui Humane Society, the top priority should be that this person believes Maui can and must embrace the No Kill philosophy (Coconut Wireless, Feb. 27, 2014). Further, Maui should become a No Kill facility within one year, as a condition for continued employment.

I lived on Maui for over 20 years, moving to Austin, TX in 2009. I was amazed to find that Austin is a No Kill city, saving over 90 percent of its pets. No Kill is also a reality in Reno, Los Angeles and many other forward-thinking locations. If these places can do it, so can Maui.

Compassionate care for animals does NOT include killing them.

-Nina Davis, via email

Animal lovers across the island and beyond know that Jocelyn Bouchard, Executive Director of the Maui Humane Society (MHS) has resigned. The Maui Humane Society Board members now have a unique opportunity to lead this island in embracing No Kill. Organizations that have already achieved No Kill agree that the single most important variable in reaching success is to have an Executive Director who wholeheartedly embraces No Kill.

Without that kind of leadership at the helm, the shelter will sink back

into the morass of killing. Entire cities have gone No Kill, including Austin, Texas (a city with a much larger population than Maui). The Nevada Humane Society in Reno went No Kill in less than one year.

They took an open admission shelter (like Maui Humane Society) and turned an 80+ percent kill ratio into a 92 percent save ratio. Los Angeles, California has embraced No Kill and working towards that goal.

Compassionate, loving care for animals does NOT include killing them to lower their population.

Killing is NOT a kindness. It is the final immoral injustice. The Maui Humane Society Board is the decision-maker as to who will be Maui Humane Society’s next Executive Director. We implore the board to include a clause in the contract that the new Executive Director MUST implement plans to reach No Kill within one year and failure to do so should be a valid reason for non-renewal of the employment contract. It bears repeating: If the Nevada Humane Society can do it, if the city of Austin, Texas can do it, if the city of Los Angeles is implementing No Kill, so can we.

Wouldn’t it be great for Maui to be a No Kill island and lead the entire state of Hawaii to NO KILL? We can do it! The time is now.

Phyllis Tavares, Executive Director, 9th Life Hawaii

Send your feedback to editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

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MARCH 13, 2014

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

QUIZ understood

PHOTO BY BILL BRADFORD / WIKIMEDIA-COMMONS

bers had signed a Concurrent Resolution calling for federal legislation that would overturn the controversial Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission Supreme Court decision that opened the floodgates on political contributions.

Which of the following Maui representatives did NOT sign the resolution?

A. Joe Souki B. Mele Carroll C. Kaniela Ing D. Kyle Yamashita E. Angus McKelvey

4

MARCH 13, 2014

1. From Feb. 23 to Mar. 1, Maui’s hotel 3. The State of Hawaii Department of occupancy rate was 85.5 percent, near-

2. On Mar. 7, the Hawaii House of Rep-

Labor and Industrial Relations recently forecast that construction jobs in Hawaii would grow 11.5 percent between 2013 and 2015–the highest growth rate for any occupation in the state. Which occupation was forecast to experience the lowest growth rate, at just 1.8 percent?

A. Farming, fishing and forestry B. Education, legal, community services, art, media C. Office and administrative support D. Production E. Sales

resentatives Majority Office sent out a press release saying that 30 House mem-

See answers, page 29

ly exactly what it was during the same week last year, according to a Mar. 7 Pacific Business News blog post. During that week, how did room rates compare to the same period last year?

A. Nearly the same B. 7.5 percent higher C. 7.5 percent lower D. 17.5 percent higher E. 17.5 percent lower

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

Coconut Wireless PHOTO BY JOEL BRADSHAW / WIKIMEDIA

in The Maui News.

So what’s next? Johnson filing a wrongful termination lawsuit against the county?

Guy was sacked after 18 years on the force, so who knows.

ARAKAWA TO APPEAR IN A PLAY

Will county workers take the ferry here more often?

COUNTY EMPLOYEES MAY NOT HAVE TO FLY SO MUCH ANYMORE

NELSON JOHNSON ASSAULT CASE DISMISSED For anyone following the case of Nelson Johnson, the former Maui police officer who was arrested back in November for allegedly assaulting his 14-year-old daugher and 10-year-old son, and was later reportedly fired from the force for those actions, it’s been a hell of a ride–something for us Maui people who couldn’t afford to pay for HBO’s True Detective.

On Mar. 8, The Maui News reported that county prosecutors dismissed the case against Johnson for reasons they wouldn’t comment on (though they did dismiss “without prejudice,” which means they reserve the right to file the charges against Johnson again).

“We are grateful that when all the smoke cleared, and a reasonable, experienced prosecutor dug into the case, the appropriate remedy presented itself,” Johnson’s attorney Jon Apo said in a statement quoted

Overheard “Until they have an actual piece of debris, alien abduction is a plausible scenario for that plane disappearance.”

-Guy on Market Street in Wailuku, Mar. 10

PHOTO BY JACK GRACE

Last week I reported that a vocal contingent of County of Maui employees were nervous about the recent spate of small plane crashes on Maui and the neighbor islands. The story was anecdotal, based on my talking with various sources through a few different departments, but made the case that a considerable number of employees didn’t like having to fly to Lanai and Molokai so much. At Mayor Alan Arakawa’s Feb. 27 press conference on the most recent crash–a Maui Air charter flight departing Lanai that killed three people (pilot Richard Rooney and county Planning Department employees Kathleen Kern and Tremaine Balberdi) and badly injured three other county employees (Douglas Miller, Mark King and James Giroux)–I even asked Arakawa whether his administration would be reevaluating travel plans.

He said that employees currently can travel to Lanai and Molokai by ferry, but since many meetings take place at night, flying is the only really practical way to travel. Some county employees, like those employed by the County Council, often travel by sea to neighbor islands, but that typically requires staying overnight–a cost taxpayers have to bear.

I reported all that in our Mar. 6 issue. On the afternoon of that same day, Michelle McLean, the county Planning Department’s Deputy Director, sent a memo to County Communications Director Rod Antone saying that her department at least would be looking at new ways of getting people to neighbor islands.

“Speaking only for the Planning Department, yes, we will revisit the logistics and staffing for meetings on Lanai and Molokai and in Hana,” McLean wrote in the memo, which I obtained (The Maui News got a copy, too, and

they published a story on it in their Mar. 10 issue). “Until then, staff can travel by commercial plane or ferry to Lanai and Molokai, and by car to Hana, staying overnight when necessary.”

As for why Maui Air flight crashed shortly after takeoff, that remains under investigation.

Read the news enough, and you quickly find that there isn’t much difference between actors and politicians. Both make speeches, remember lines, perform before audiences and generally play roles that are often at odds with their own personalities.

Usually it’s the actors who decide to enter politics (Ronald Reagan, Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger, that guy who played Gopher on The Love Boat), but every once in a while, a politician decides to perform for something other than the legislative process.

Which is why I wasn’t too surprised to see that our own Mayor Arakawa will appear–in a powdered wig, no less– as a special guest actor in the April 5 performance of The Worthmores, a new comedy put on by Maui Onstage.

Written by local author Tom Althouse (who in early 2013 filed a $300 million copyright infringement lawsuit against Warner Brothers over The Matrix series of movies, which is still pending and WB calls “frivolous”), the play tells the story of Mr. Rivers, an 18th century gentleman.

“He also married a scrub maid, who [sic] he deeply loves and now must pass off as high born,” states a Mar. 7 Maui Onstage press release. “Anne, his daughter also wishes to marry one she truly loves. Bragabit loves her truly but

lacks social skills. The villainous Colonel Vainlove, the more proper suitor, is only interested in Anne’s money. Young George, the adopted son of Mr. Rivers, is in love with Molly, who he thinks is a maid and Moppet is a well-bred lady in love with a stable boy.”

Get all that? Apparently, Arakawa’s role is similar to that of Sean Connery in Kevin Costner’s version of Robin Hood–a highprofile walk-on at the end.

“The problem is that he’s only going to be in the play for one night,” said Antone, the county’s communications director. “He checked his schedule, and said he could only do it on that night.”

Arakawa in a powdered wig

At one point, Antone told me that show organizers asked him if casting Arakawa in the play was a good idea–if people would actually come to the show and see it.

“Are you kidding?” Antone said he told them. “He’s wearing a powdered wig!”

The cast for The Worthmores is quite large: Steven Dascoulias, Kristi Scott, Brett Wulfson, Jeff Brackett, Hoku Pavao Jones, Ricky Pavao Jones, Kepa Cabanilla-Aricayos, Dale Button, David Negaard, Sharleen Lagatutta, John Messersmith, Joshua Franco, Joel Agnew, Jim Oxborrow, Justin House, Jonathan Severance, Mannasseh Robidoux, David Pisoni and Althouse himself. Shows will run April 4-13 at the Iao Theater in Wailuku. Ticket prices will run $18-22. For more information, call 808-242-6969 or visit mauionstage.com. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MARCH 13, 2014

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro & Suzanne Kayian

PHOTO COURTESY DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION

MauiSphere

Where the restroom magic will take place

KAHULUI AIRPORT RESTROOMS TO GET MORE WOOD, LESS GROUT Last week, Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie announced that his office is releasing $96.6 million in Capital Improvement Projects (CIP) for the state’s airports.

Of that, about $8.5 million is coming to our own Kahului Airport. That’s roughly split between two line items: • Terminal Fire Protection System Replacement gets $3,680,000 • Restroom Renovation (Phase 2) gets $4,789,771

MAYOR’S SMALL BUSINESS AWARDS ANNOUNCED Maui Mayor Alan Arakawa and Pamela Tumpap, the president of the Maui Chamber of Commerce, honored the winners of the 2014 Mayor’s Small Business Awards on Feb. 26. They handed out awards in seven categories at the King Kamehameha Golf Club on behalf of the Office of Economic Development and the Maui Chamber of Commerce.

The Maui Farm, Inc. won Outstanding Nonprofit Business of the Year. The nonprofit organization—which provides farm-based, family-centered programs that teach essential life skills for self-sufficient living—is expanding its resource development to reduce their reliance on government funding.

The Young Small Business Person of the Year award went to James “Jason” Stenger Jr. of Alpha, Inc. Stenger, 32, has established Alpha, Inc. as a leader in Maui’s construction industry. The company–which specializes in site work, water well drilling and renewable energy systems–launched with a single piece of equipment. Despite the recession, Stenger built the company gradually and increased revenue 350 percent in the last two years.

Valley Isle Marine Center, Inc. and Mark Tracy won the Exceptional Small Business of the Year (10 or fewer employees) award. In business for 44 years, the company has two Maui locations and another in Hilo, which opened in 2012. The company says it offers competitive pay, a wide array of benefits, flex time, use of company vehicles and boats and training to ensure employees are knowl-

ANY OUTSTANDING SENIORS OUT THERE? The Maui County Office on Aging is asking the public for nominations for the county’s 46th Annual Outstanding Older American Male and Female of Maui County. The local awards program is held each May to coincide with with Older Americans Month.

The annual awards program recognizes older Americans for their contributions.

It also provides them with information to help them stay healthy and active. This year, the theme is “Safe Today, Healthy Tomorrow,” which ties in with the national focus on injury prevention.

All nominees must be 65 years of age or older and a resident of Maui County.

Nominations can be made by any individual, club or organization; previous winners are not eligible for nomination.

Wendell Crockett was the first Maui County recipient of the prestigious award in 1968. Last year’s awardees were Diane Logsdon of Kula and Richard Endsley of Lahaina. Older adults in Maui County have been celebrated for their contributions and achievements every year since 1968. In total, 89 older adult volunteers have been recognized for their outstanding contributions to Maui County.

For more information or to get nomination forms, call the Maui County Office on Aging at 808-270-7755 or visit mauicountyadrc.org. You can also email mcoa.adrc@mauicounty.org.

The deadline to return completed nomination forms is 4:30pm on Monday, March 31.

Mail them to: J. Walter Cameron Center, Attn: OOA Committee, 95 Mahalani St., Room 20, Wailuku, HI 96793. You can also fax completed forms to 808-270-7935 or email them to mcoa.adrc@mauicounty.gov.

The awards will be presented at a luncheon on Tuesday, May 6 at the Maui Beach Hotel’s Elleair Rainbow Ballroom from 11am-1pm.

-Suzanne Kayian ■ editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

PHOTO COURTESY MAUI CULINARY ACADEMY

There are obviously more renovation projects for other airports included in the funding… um, damn, that’s a lot of money for restroom renovation. And that whole “Phase 2" thing–a year ago, the state kicked $3 million to Kahului Airport for “restroom renovation” as well.

I know airport restrooms are important and all (especially to someone like former U.S. Senator Larry Craig, R-Idaho), and the restrooms at Kahului Airport weren’t exactly on par with the Grand Wailea, but do they really need $8 million in new work? To find out, I asked Justin Fujioka, Abercrombie’s press secretary (who sent out the original press release today on the $96.6 million). He emailed back a few minutes later: “Phase 2 will include public restroom renovations at Holdrooms D, E, F, Ticket Lobby and the Commuter Terminal,” Fujioka wrote. “Renovation will eliminate outdated institutional environment and replace it with a new design concept that provides a Hawaiian sense of place and gives the appearance of a world-class facility. Improvements will include adding air conditioning, improved lighting, minimizing grout, replacing toilets and fixtures, and the use of native woods and finishes, which will result in a more pleasing environment that will also be easier to clean and be sustainable.”

Now I will say this: the current Kahului Airport restrooms most definitely lack both “a Hawaiian sense of place” and “the

appearance of a world-class facility.” And if adding wood (hehe… “wood”) and pulling out the old toilets, lighting and grout will accomplish that, then so be it.

By the way–grout?

“Minimal use of grout and groutless tiles will reduce and eliminate places that harbor bacteria and urine odors,” Fujioka clarified.

“Ventilation upgrades will dry and cool the air to prevent urine odor from occurring.”

By all means, then: out with that grout.

-Anthony Pignataro

edgeable about the latest industry technology.

The Exceptional Small Business of the Year (11-35 employees) award went to A Saigon Cafe, and its owner, Jennifer Nguyen. She attributes her success to her mother, who said, “Give quality service to each customer, use the freshest ingredients, and take things one day at a time.” Nguyen says she keeps things fresh with produce from her own two-acre farm and the select ingredients she picks.

The Exceptional Small Business of the Year (36-100 employees) award went to Marmac Ace Hardware. Bill and Maureen Marrs founded the business in 1971 and recently opened a second story in Maui Lani, creating 20 new jobs.

“Small businesses are Maui County’s most important economic engine, and these awards celebrate the entrepreneurial spirit that is alive and well in Maui County,” said Arakawa.

“Business owners take many risks, work long hours and put their personal assets on the line to provide our community with goods and services, as well as much-needed employment.

I congratulate each of this year’s winners, and wish them continued success.”

This year’s Lifetime Achievement Award Winner was Trilogy, owned by Jim and Rand Coon. The 40-year-old company’s business practices address conservation and improvement of Maui’s environment, which has won them numerous awards and helped them support many local charities. The company is a fourth generation business with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren participating.

The Annette Pauole-Ahakuelo Honorary Award for Molokai went to Something for Everybody, owned by Wailani Tanaka. Something For Everybody is a store on Molokai that sells clothing, footwear and accessories for men, women and teens in all sizes and styles. They carry household goods and made-on-Molokai items including jewelry, music, T-shirts, hats and accessories. The business started out of a garage, however Tanaka sensed they were filling a niche that was needed on Molokai, and soon she was looking for space in Kaunakakai.

-Suzanne Kayian

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MARCH 13, 2014

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News Of The Weird SOBERING SIGNS In February, the Tennessee Supreme Court ruled that David Bell could not avoid being charged with DUI merely because he had been sober enough to pass all six “field sobriety tests” administered during a traffic stop. It was enough, the court said, that he had admitted drinking that night. A few days later, the Austin American-Statesman reported on Texan Larry Davis’ struggle to clear the 2013 DWI arrest from his record–since he had blown a 0.0 alcohol reading that night and then had voluntarily undergone a blood test for other impairing drugs and come up clean on that. Davis had admitted to “one drink,” but allegedly failed a “field sobriety test” (in the opinion of the arresting officer, anyway). Davis’ case is still unresolved, but since he has been declared an “indigent,” the state covers his legal expenses.

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John Rogers of Geneva, Fla., recently acquitted in a shooting death (using Florida’s “stand your ground” defense), convinced a judge in February to return his guns, which police had confiscated when they arrested him. Rogers said he needs the guns for protection because he is particularly vulnerable–in that he is blind.

And Rogerio Scotton, challenging federal charges in January that he lied to immigration officials about his “marriage” to a Cuban woman (a “sham,” said prosecutors), offered to prove the matrimony’s bona fides by showing the couple’s conjugal-bed videos in open court. The judge instructed Scotton to find a “less intrusive” way to make the same point.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS The firm 3D Babies has begun selling (for $800) 8-inch-long fetal sculptures developed from 3D ultrasound images, computer graphics and 3D printing technology (“printing” successive layers of material continuously, eventually creating a physical object). Fourinch and two-inch models are available for $400 and $200, respectively. For celebrity hounds who are not planning imminent parenthood, the company sells one fetal sculpture off the shelf: the Kim Kardashian-Kanye West fetus (“Baby North West”) for only $250.

WHAT A DOLL Ms. Blondie Bennett (her recently acquired real name), 38, is not just a California model selling provocative “Barbie doll” photos of herself online (featuring her recently augmented 32JJ breast implants). She is at work on a longer-range project to remake herself

completely as a human Barbie doll–to include the popular critique that Barbie represents not only bodily perfection but mindlessness.

Bennett said she has had 20 hypnotherapy sessions to “help” her appear more confused and vacant, according to news reports. “I want people to see me as a plastic sex doll, and being brainless is a big part of that.” She said she is doing well, in that she recently got lost driving to her mother’s house.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS The designer Giorgio Armani is one of the most recent one-day sponsors of a United Nations project to send safe drinking water to help some of the planet’s 768 million people without access to a clean supply. The Tap Project program signs up smartphone users with a reward: that it will donate one day’s clean water to a child for anyone who can manage to refrain from picking up his or her phone for 10 consecutive minutes. Tap Project screens even feature a 10-minute countdown clock to help do-gooders remain strong in the face of anxiety over the brief loss of access to Facebook, online games, et al.

OUR LITIGIOUS SOCIETY British litigant Jane Mulcahy was turned down twice recently in her attempts to sue her former divorce lawyers for negligence– although they had won her case, defeating her husband’s contentions. The lawyers were negligent, she said, because they never told her that if she “won” the lawsuit, the marriage would be over. Lord Justice Briggs, in the second appeal, said that Mulcahy’s Roman Catholic faith should have tipped her off that “divorce” ended the marriage.

IRONY As Americans know, Canada’s health care system, funded largely by taxes, is dramatically less expensive than America’s–well, unless you’re a dog. The Canadian news service CTV reported in February that increasingly, pet owners in Winnipeg, Manitoba, are making the 120-mile car trip to Grand Forks, N.D., because U.S. veterinarian prices are significantly lower than comparable services by Canadian vets. One Winnipeg family, facing a $650 teeth-cleaning plus blood work for Jackson, their Shitzu, took him on the road trip to Grand Forks, where the bill came to $205.

MONEY MONEY MONEY The Internal Revenue Service might have second thoughts about suing William Berroyer to recover a $60,000 tax underpayment since, by the time Berroyer was finished with them, the federal government had been ordered to write Berroyer (now age 66) checks totaling nearly 15 times that much. Berroyer, who was on his way out of the IRS office in Hauppauge, N.Y., after his first meeting in 2008, tripped over a phone cord and fell against a filing cabinet, injuring himself so severely that he required a 17-day hospital stay and rehabilitation and alleged long-term confinement to a wheelchair. ■

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There I was, peacefully taking pictures of my skateboarding kids, when you two walked up and wrecked the serenity of our evening with your 10-minute verbal assault. When you told me to leave your street (which I live on) or you were calling the police, I saw how amped up you were (too much viagra?). I’m still shocked that after hearing your husband’s filthy rant, that yow followed me up the hill as I went home and hit me! Seriously lady, that’s assault, and I called the cops. But, of course, you ran off–after mooning me!

Pro tip: the next time you pull your pants down in the middle of the street, consider what panties your wearing. Seriously, you really grossed us all out. ■

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MARCH 13, 2014

9

LET’S DANCE! TALKING STORY

WITH JIVA JIVE WHO COULD END THE COUNTY OF MAUI’S

RESTRICTIONS ON DANCING, IF HE DOESN’T

RUN OUT OF TIME.

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

O PHOTO BY SEAN M. HOWER

10 MARCH 13, 2014

ver the last decade or so, I’ve attended more than my fair share of hearings of both the Maui County Liquor Commission and the Liquor Control Board of Adjudication. In that time, a lot of controversial issues have come up–like why the LC enforces noise regulations and punishes establishments for booking acts that use profanity onstage–but nothing seemed so senseless as its ambiguous restrictions on bars and restaurants that want to have dancing. Seriously, it’s right out of Footloose–a county of Maui department actually pays officers to patrol liquor licensees and make sure patrons aren’t dancing where it’s not permitted.

For much of that time, Jiva Jive (formerly know as Anthony Simmons) and the organization Maui Dance Advocates (Mauidanceadvocates.com) have been trying to change that. He and his friends have lobbied the county and the state and have even gone to court. Now they’re trying to get a bill passed that would liberalize counties across Hawaii that wish to regulate dancing.

The bill was introduced last year, and it won some support, but it’s stalled now.

In fact, time may be running out. To find out more, I talked with Simmons about what he and the organization is up against:

seen you at many LC hearings in the past, speaking up.

Q I’ve I’ve even seen you draw parallels in the past between the county’s restrictions on dancing and the missionaries war against the hula in the 19th century.

cause of jurisdiction. It’s an administrative law, not a civil law. The LC isn’t telling us that we can’t dance, but their rules state that an establishment can’t allow dancing without a permitted dance floor.

written about Maui Dance Advocates a Hula was forbidden in public in Hawaii. In 1851, public Q We’ve A Inhula1830, lot. What about other media? performances became regulated through a licensing system with a heavy fine paid for each performance. At his 1885 birthday at had an interview with Hawaii Public Radio this Iolani Palace, King Kalakaua promoted the preservation of hula, declarA Imorning.

But before our first court date, we ing, “Hula is the language of the heart and therefore the heartbeat of the Hawaiian people.”

been lobbying the county and state to change the dancQ You’ve ing regulations for about eight years. What got you into this?

went to The Maui News to try to get coverage. The former City Editor, Ed Tanji, told us, “No, this is not news. Once Liquor Control decides something, it’s already done. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

band, The Eazy, used to play at Neptunes, which is now Ambrosia.

Q Now that’s depressing.

A My The Department of Liquor Control didn’t like the people who owned Liquor Control Department has been on Neptunes, and they couldn’t have a dance floor. So we played there, and A The Maui since 1906, since before Prohibition. then one time there were about 12 people there. A guy was dancing, so the bouncer came up to them and told him to stop. He kept dancing, so the bouncer came up to them a second time. When the bouncer went up to him a third time, he put him in headlock and threw him out.

They have all the power–they make their own budget. The county spends about $2.8 million on Liquor Control, half of which is wages and salaries.

Q Yeah, I’ve heard stories like that.

you kept on it, and decided to go the Q Still, route of legislation.

told my friend Romoda Anand, who has cerebral palsy and A Iworked with me on this, that dancing was illegal here. He didn’t

in the fifth year now on that. Last year A We’re we introduced SB 464, which “Requires county

believe me, so we went online to the county liquor rules and I showed him. “That’s not right,” he said.

Q He didn’t believe you.

liquor commissions that choose to regulate dancing to adopt or amend r ules regarding limitations on dancing.”

It makes them define the r ules they have. I like how the Senate defined it–any county that chooses to regulate dancing has to abide by it [SB 464].

But right now, dancing is illegal in places that sell alcohol unless A No. they have direct permission from the Maui County Department of Li-

Q Where does the bill stand now?

quor Control. This means that if you’re at a restaurant or any gathering that’s selling alcohol, you can’t just move some tables and start dancing. Even if your auntie wants to perform a hula, the establishment is required to stop her.

stalled. SB 464 got co-introduced A It’s by 17 of the 25 state senators. It

Q So what did you do? went to the Liquor Control department, which is in the Trask Building A We in Wailuku. They told us that we couldn’t dance unless the establishment had a permit. Then we went before the Liquor Commission and asked how they define dancing, but they really didn’t have an answer for us.

Q Typical.

A

We got a letter about a week later that quoted from Webster’s dictionary. The definition that they gave was “to move the body, in rhythm, especially the feet, ordinarily to music.”

LC has always had trouble with this question of what exQ The actly constitutes dancing.

A At one meeting, Director Frank Silva even said, “I know when I see it.”

passed its first reading in the House on Mar. 7, 2013, and is currently referred to the EDB [Economic Development and Business] and CPC/JUD [Consumer Protection and Commerce/Judiciary] committees.

Q How long does the bill have? that we have until Mar. A I20wasor told it dies again. Representative Angus McKelvey [D–West Maui], the chairman of the CPC Committee, has always been a friend of Maui Dance Advocates. He’s a fan of the bill, but it has to get through the EDB Committee first, and that’s chaired

by Clift Tsuji [D–Hilo].

I remember that meeting. How could I forget him getting Q philosophical and using the same phrase that’s been used to

Q Why is it stalled now?

describe calculus and pornography?

just not a high enough A It’s priority. And he’s [Tsuji’s]

We love dance floors, but the LC has no definition for dancing, so A snapping your fingers, tapping your toe or even bobbing your head to the music in your seat is a violation. also recall the County Council not even getting anywhere Q Iwhen trying to get dancing defined.

A

It was April 23, 2012, during the Liquor Control’s budget committee hearing. Council member Gladys Baisa asked Silva twice if you could dance while sitting. The first time he ignored the question. The second time, when she asked later in the meeting, he said, “it depends on which way you move first.”

Q So basically dancing is whatever the LC says it is. gotten dancing put on the agenda of the LC three times, only to be beA We’ve rated and ridiculed. One of our members was even told to find another island.

Q Yeah, I remember that, too.

from the Big Island, where this is not so much an issue.

Q So what are you looking for? need people to let the A We legislators know that we want SB 464 scheduled to be heard in the EBD Committee. Representative Tsuji’s office phone number is 808-586-6420 and his email is reptsuji@capitol.hawaii.gov.

Q And if that happens? it does work, there will A Even be more meetings. It’ll take an-

other year to implement it. ■

editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro

A

Well, after that [attorney] Lance Collins got off the [Adjudication] Board, he took our case pro bono and we asked for a Declaratory Rule. They denied that as well. We also went to court twice, but lost be-

For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MARCH 13, 2014

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Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

Sandwiches, Salads and Style Spilling the beans on Cafe Carmen in Kihei is both refreshing and rich. The meat lasagne is comfort fare, with large sheets of pasta layered with a beef marinara and mozzarella. I ate mine overlooking the restaurant’s basil garden, where I watched the kitchen team pick fresh leaves in between orders. They also offer sandwiches like seared ahi on focaccia and daily specials.

Every time I stop in, I see other

see Chef Brian Murphy crafting dishes with his team. The restaurant is climatecontrolled and very comfortable, with DIY furniture, doors made into tables and wine bottle light fixtures. There is even an excellent ocean view.

Cafe Carmen serves breakfast, lunch and dinner, 8am-9pm and brunch on Sundays with a Bloody Mary bar 9am2pm. They have a fantastic cocktail menu,

Chef Brian Murphy and Owner Lynn Stettler

Cafe Carmen 535 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei 808-875-8100

C

onverted office space never looked so stylish or smelled so good as it does at Cafe Carmen in Kihei. Lynn Stettler opened it in the South Maui Tech Park in February 2013, and the cute little

though her cafe is in a tech park. Her expertise has always been in front of the house operations. So where does her amazing menu come from?

“Well, my husband Roger Stettler lent a hand in creating the menu,” says Lynn.

“He is really proud of the vegan burger.

And a portion of the proceeds of that burger goes to benefit a nonprofit for animals. You don’t have to sacrifice flavor

Lasagne

foodies from the food and beverage business. Sometimes we can be selfish for not wanting to spill the beans on our newest favorite farm-to-cafe cuisine, but word eventually gets out anyway.

Cafe Carmen is located at the top of Lipoa Street, across from where the new Maui Brewing Co. facility is going in. The cafe has an interesting layout, with the open kitchen in the center. There you can

beer list and wines on tap. Their happy hour runs 4-6pm with cocktails priced at just $5, and a special pupu list. They serve Illy coffee and espresso and also have some grab-and-go food as well as wonderful sweets and desserts. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

Luca's Chop Chop Salad

eatery quickly gained a reputation for a fine menu, the best salted caramel latte and a surprising extensive beer list. Stettler also happens to show off a strong DIY streak and a great eye for interior design.

“I had a lot of fun decorating and creating design in here,” says Stettler. “I wanted to create a place where you don’t have to dress up to eat good food.”

She admits she’s not a techie, even

to have vegan and raw dishes.”

Her husband is also Executive Chef at the Four Seasons resort in Wailea. His Cafe Carmen menu reflects a chance to be light, creative, vegan-friendly and showcases his and his wife’s love for European and Asian comfort food.

Dishes like the soba salad, topped with fresh spicy ahi, are well-portioned and delicious. Luca’s Chop Chop Salad

Vegan Burger

MARCH 13, 2014 13

Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

All Hail The New Saimin Burger PHOTO COURTESY L & L BARBECUE

L & L enters the ramen burger wars

Saimin Burger

I

f there was one foodie event that went viral last year, it was the Ramen Burger’s sold-out debut at Brooklyn’s Smorgasborg food fair. Creator and ramen blogger Keizo Shimamoto posted a preview post on his blog GoRamen.com and hundreds showed up to try it. His inspiration had been a study of ramen in Japan, where he tried a pork burger, and decided it was good but could use improvement. Shimamoto’s version featured sturdier noodle cakes, arugula, special

sauce and a beef patty. The Ramen Burger became an overnight sensation, his pop ups selling to huge queues of burger needy fans all around the nation.

Shimamoto brought his creation to Honolulu in January, pop-up style, to Kaka’ako, selling more than 700 burgers in one day at $10 a pop. That caught the eye of Eddie Flores Jr., CEO of L & L. Flores had L & L corporate chef Raymond Cheng come up with their own version of the fusion sandwich, the Saimin Burger, which they now sell for $5.99.

At first, there was a bit of a legal kerfuffle between the Shimamoto and Flores camps, stemming from an internal memo that circulated at L & L, but that’s all smoothed out now, according to a recent Honolulu Pulse article that said, “Both Shimamoto and Bryan Andaya, L&L vice

LOOK WHAT’S NEW AT CHARLEY’S! NEW CHEF

president and chief operating officer, said neither side will pursue any legal action against the other, nor will either seek to block further trademark efforts with the U.S. Patent and Trade Office.”

“We added it to our menu on Feb. 7,” says Brandon Dela Cruz, L & L’s marketing director. “To kick off the new item we held a canned goods drive at L & L Ke’eaumoku on that day. Hundreds of customers stood in line to try the Ramen Burger for free in exchange for five canned goods. All canned goods were donated to the Hawaii Foodbank.”

L & L plans to introduce the “Ramen Burger” to all of their 182 restaurants world-wide, but here on Maui you can find their “Saimin Burger” at their Honokawai, Kihei, Queen Ka’ahumanu and Wailuku stores.

“With the recent craze and long lines, we decided to make a local version that’s better so people don’t have to wait,” says Flores. “They can just come to L & L to try it.”

So the other day I showed up at the Queen Ka’ahumanu food court to do exactly that. The burger is devastatingly tasty. It’s made with Sun Noodles, the same noodles used in their saimin. Their

saimin sandwich also repurposes their signature hamburger patty, and is topped with teriyaki sauce.

They cook the saimin, then fry it into crispy bun cakes. The handmade burger patty, dripping with teri sauce, is then topped with green onion and shredded cabbage. The whole package was a bit sloppy to handle, but worth getting dirty for. In fact, I think the teri burger patty was better with noodle buns then bread. They also make a damn good order of crinkle fries for about $4.

I asked Dela Cruz if there was a difference between what they are calling their Saimin Burger and the Ramen Burger.

“There is no difference,” he says. “We call it ‘Saimin Burger’ for our Hawaii locations and ‘Ramen Burger’ for our Mainland and international locations because they are more familiar with the term ‘ramen.' There has been a fantastic response for the Ramen Burger. Many locations have been selling up to 40-50 burgers per day.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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Chef brings his pa p assio ss sion n for for gr grea rea eatt food e od and nd d has has a uni u nite ted ed th he passion great united the ttrrad ditio itio it ona n l feel fe of of Charley’s Char Ch arle ley’ ys w ith fre ffresh, esh sh, lo llocal oca oca al traditional with iin ngr g ed edie diie ien nts to nts t o off ffe ff ffer er a tas er ttasteful as ste tefful ffu ul an and d ta tast sty st ty me men en nu n u. ingredients offer tasty menu.

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Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

‘It’s Not Messy And It’s Slightly Sweet’ Port Town Chevron’s Spam musubi goes island-wide

Spam Musubi

O

ne of my daughter’s favorite breakfast foods is the Spam musubi. I know it’s not politically correct to feed my kid canned meat saturated with chemicals, but when it comes to sharing my local food favorites–which is pretty much a Hawaii culinary treasure–with my daughter, the tastebuds win out every

time. In fact, my girl has developed such a taste for Spam musubi that she won’t accept anything other than the kind made at Port Town Chevron.

Most of the time, a Spam musubi is a square of pressed rice, topped with a cooked slice of Spam and encircled with about an inch of nori. Spam musubi are made different everywhere: Foodland tops

theirs with a bit of sauce and has a chicken version; Minit Stop does theirs with either sweet chili sauce or red hot dog-style.

So what sets Port Town’s version apart? They sandwich a teriyaki-glazed piece of Spam, sprinkled with furikake, between two slabs of pressed rice, then roll the whole thing up with seaweed from top to bottom. My daughter says it’s the best because, “It’s not messy and it’s slightly sweet.”

Last year, Lahaina Petroleum bought the Chevron station. The new owners decided they wanted to up the ante with their commercial kitchen and started making simple sandwiches in addition to the musubi and distributing them around their network of Shell, 76 and Chevron stations. The sandwiches come in encased in a container so they won’t smash on the go. They have ham and cheese, turkey and egg salad.

“Now our Spam musubi are at Paia Shell, Paia Chevron, Pukalani Chevron, Kihei Chevron, Kihei 76, Lahainaluna Shell and Lahaina Chevron,” says Brian Hubin, the Island Manager at Port Town Chevron.

“When they took over the store, they wanted to expand business. [They’re] making musubi for the other stores, and sand-

wiches, but not our bentos that we have here at Port Town. That would require the heating display unit like we have here.”

Hubin says his kitchen at Port Town sets up early and makes the musubi that will go to the other stores while making some for their store, too. They do this until the afternoon. Port Town sells about 200 musubi a day, averaging around 300 daily for all the stores.

The Port Town location is also the only one that carries a variety of musubis–tuna, fried rice and spam, lunch meat and egg, teri-beef and spicy chicken. Musubis run $2.45 with specialty ones at $2.65. Oh, and they also now sell a “double decker” musubi.

“The double decker is two pieces of spam and rice at one reasonable price,” says Hubin. “I’m glad we have some fans out there.”

Port Town Chevron 109 W. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului 808-877-0455 ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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Picks

by Marina Satoafaiga

This Weeks Picks THURSDAY, MAR. 13 MAUI OCEAN CENTER ANNIVERSARY – This Thursday, keiki are invited to celebrate Maui Ocean Center’s 16th anniversary. Enjoy Chef Divers, crafts and fun interactive presentations. Learn facts about Hawaii’s unique marine life up close and personal. Oh, and mom and dad can enjoy shopping and dining specials throughout the day, too. 9am-5pm. Maui Ocean Center (192 Ma’alaea Rd.), mauioceancenter.com. Photo: Megan Baker

WHALE EXPERTS – The Pacific c Whale Foundation presents an “Evening with the Exst night features a perts” this Thursday and Friday. The first free screening of Blackfish along with a presentation by the za, and Howard Garrett, documentary’s producer, Manny Oteyza, the co-founder and executive director of Orca Network. Later there king a Difference,” which highlights will be a panel titled “Researchers Making whale researchers Elsa Cabrera, Dr. Cristina Castro and Dr. Emmanuelle rvations are recommended. Free. 6pmMartinez. Seating is limited and reservations ala Ballroom (2365 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 8pm. Westin Maui Resort,Haleakala 808-249-8811 ext. 1., pacificwhale.org. org. Photo: NOAA/Wikimedia Commons

FRIDAY, MAR. 14 2ND FRIDAY TOWN PARTY – Lahaina Second Friday returns with a preSt. Paddy’s Day celebration this Friday. From 5pm to 8pm, catch festive entertainment from Sule & Armadillo, the Maui Pipe Band and the Polka d Paddys at Campbell Park. There’s also face painting, Irish dance and food served by local nonprofits. Take in art by walking through Front Street’ss m galleries, where guests are welcomed to complimentary pupu and wine from a 6pm-9pm. Be sure to pick up your free Art Map, compliments of the Lahaina k.

Visitor Center, at the Old Lahaina Courthouse in Banyan Tree Park. he Live music and foodie specials will line Front Street as well throughout the evening. Free admission. 5pm-8pm. Lahaina Town. mauifridays.com.

RHYTHMIC CIRCUS – The Maui Arts and Cultural Center presents Rhythmic Circus this Friday. The 11-member troupe from the City of Lakes bursts onto the MACC stage with their high energy production, Feet Don’t Fail Me Now! Blending a six-piece brass band with a human beat box and tap extraordinaire, this show will have you stomping in the aisles. From blues and funk to rock and roll, the musical arrangement will delight everyone. $12-$42. 7:30pm. The Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7467, mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

SATURDAY, MAR. 15 PAWS FOR READING – Keiki in the first through fifth grades are invited to the Makawao Public Library’s “PAWS for Reading” this Saturday. The program pairs a child with a therapy dog from Assistance Dogs of Hawaii for 15 minutes of reading. The process is geared to help with a child’s reading, communication and confidence level. Parents must accompany their keiki and pre-register for a slot.

Contact the library directly for any further accommodations. Free.

3pm-4:30pm. Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785. Photo courtesy Makawao Public Library

GET SHAMROCKED WITH MARTY DREAD – The Hard Rock Cafe invites you to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day on Saturday with Marty Dread. Here’s your chance to drink green beer and rock out. Known as Maui’s reggae ambassador, Marty Dread will serve beats to complement your beer. $10. 10pm-1am.

Hard Rock Cafe (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400, hardrock.com

SATURDAY, MAR. 15 A CELEBRATION OF SPRING – Usher in spring with a panoramic view of Maui’s shores, Na Hoku Hanohano Award-winning jams and Three’s Food Truck grinds this Saturday. Bring your blanket or chair and cozy up with the tunes of Paula Fuga, Benny Uyetake and Kevin Brown. A portion of the evening’s proceeds will benefit the Maui Hulia Foundation, a nonprofit that helps foster sustainability by inspiring active, educated and innovative stewardship. 21+. $10. 4:30pm-7:30pm. Ocean Vodka (4051 Omaopio Rd., Kula), oceanvodka.com, mauihuliaufoundation.org. Photo: Sean M. Hower

HULA WITH THE DALIRE OHANA – Immerse yourself in the culture of hula with the Dalire Ohana this Saturday at the MACC. Considered hula royalty, Kumu Hula Aloha Dalire inherited Halau ‘Olapa O Laka from her mother and continued the tradition with her daughters. The halau boasts an impressive line of Merrie Monarch Miss Aloha Hula title holders.

Take advantage of this unique opportunity to talk story and experience their hula mana first-hand. $30. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio (One Cameron Way, Kahului), mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

SATURDAY, MAR MAR. 15 H HALAU HULA KAULUOKALA’S RUMMAGE SALE – If yyou enjoy hunting for treasures at garage sales, then yyou might want to stop by the Lihikai School Cafeterria this Saturday. There you’ll find hundreds of items– c clothes, books, electronics, plants and more–at Halau H Hula Kauluokala’s rummage sale. The one-day sale is a ffundraiser for the Kahului-based halau, which is under the d direction of Kumu Hula Uluwehi Guerrero. 7am-1pm.

Lihikai School, Cafeteria (335 S. Papa Ave., Kahului), L halauhulakauluokala.org. Photo: Wikimedia Commons h

‘SWAN LAKE’ – The Alexander Academy Performing Company in Kula presents Tchaikovsky’s classic ballet Swan Lake this Saturday and Sunday.

It will feature a range of dancers from children to adults. Inspired by Swan Lake’s classic form, AAPC weaves in contemporary elements before the show.

Proceeds benefit the dance company. $10-$30.

2pm & 6pm. Seabury Hall’s ‘A‘ali‘ikuhonua Creative Arts Center (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao), alexanderacademy.info. Photo courtesy AAPC

MONDAY, MAR. 1 17 MOND DAY AY MAR RUN ‘TIL YOU’RE GREEN – The sixth annual St. Patricks Day Run ‘Til You’re Green returns crazier than ever this Monday. There are prizes galore, for catching the leprechaun, dressing up in your best green gear and to the first female and male overall winners. The entry fee includes a T-shirt, beverage (must have valid ID for alcohol) and more chances to win a prize. There will also be live Irish tunes from UpCountry Celtic and post-race celebrations. $30 keiki $40 adult. 4pm Registration. 5:30pm race. Kahului Ale House (355 E Kamehameha Ave., Kahului), mauirunning.com. Photo courtesy Maui Running

TUESDAY, MAR. 18 CAROL HOGARD TALKS STORY ON ‘THE DINNER PARTY’ – For Women’s History Month, former college professor Carol Hogard will give a talk on Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party” this Tuesday. A celebrated work of art, it’s comprised of 39 names of historical women on wings and an additional 999 distinguished names on tiles. The masterpiece has toured six countries on three continents and is now permanently on exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. Hogard will give a 90-minute presentation highlighting a few women from ancient, medieval and modern times. Adult program. Free. 6pm. Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-875-6833. Photo courtesy Carol Hogard

‘CELTIC STORIES OF OLD’ – Get a little folklore in your St. Patrick’s Day celebrations by listening to storyteller Ann Walsh on Monday at the Makawao Public Library. Teens and adults are welcome for a time of “Celtic Stories of Old.” Hear ancient tales of giants, gods and goddesses. Free. 6:30pm.

Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785. Photo: Joseph Jacob/ Wikimedia Commons

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 19 ‘GET YOUR BUSINESS ONLINE’ – Geared to small business owners, Google presents “Hawaii Get Online” this Wednesday.

The three-hour seminar will walk business owners through website creation and targeting your existing and potential customers.

Participants will get tips, a free business listing, a customized domain name and the option of free web hosting for a year. Learn how to build your online presence. Register online. Free. 9am & 1pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului), HawaiiGetOnline.com. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

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Film

by Barry Wurst II

Silly Thrills ‘Need For Speed’ is light on plot but heavy on squealing tires Need For Speed ★★★★★ Rated PG13 / 130 Min.

E

arly into Need for Speed, there’s a scene that sets the tone for the whole movie. The hero of the piece, Tobey Marshall (played by Aaron Paul), has a meeting with his pals at a drive-in movie theater. What takes place during the scene isn’t important, but the setting definitely is: showing on the outdoor screen is Bullitt, the Steve McQueen classic that offered a plot most don’t remember but San Francisco car chases that remain the stuff of legend. This movie is tipping its hat to the great vroom-vroom, bash n’crash classics of the past and announces itself as a souped-up, tricked-out B-movie.

The title, I’ve been informed, comes not from a conversation shared by our great American cinematic philosophers, Maverick and Goose, but from a video game. According to one of my gamer buddies, the Need for Speed games are

light on plot and heavy on carjacking and squealing tires. If that’s the case, then the movie adaptation is a spot-on facsimile.

Paul’s Tobey owns a local auto shop that’s in need of cash flow and decides, “just one time,” to do a job for his nemesis. As played

by Dominic Cooper, Dino Brewster is so obviously villainous in appearance, demeanor and taste (even his house looks like bad news), it’s to no one’s surprise but Tobey’s that the job goes sour. Years later, Tobey has revenge on his mind and embarks on a cross-country race that will lead to the inevitable re-match behind the wheel with Dino. Yes, that last sentence is full of cornball clichés and so is the movie.

When the film’s narrative gear is in neutral and the characters are conversing, we have to put up with dialogue that sounds re-worked from bad, late-60s biker movies. It wouldn’t help if the main characters were instead played by Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Ludacris and Dwayne Johnson. The story, character dynamics and tough guy banter is like a stale, sun-burnt air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.

Thankfully, when the characters are behind

FOLLOW US!

Brah, that helicopter is totally stealing your car.

the wheel, the movie thrills.

The said-to-be CGI-free car chases and crashes are free of shaky-cam confusion. Instead, the open road chases have a clean, smooth and fierce presentation reminiscent of the masterful set-pieces found in films by John Frankenheimer and William Friedkin. The Fast and Furious movies are more appealingly trashy but overly busy. This screenplay may have some loose lug nuts but the editing, sound effects and, especially, cinematography are state of the art.

If Paul becomes a big movie star, it won’t be due to this film. His work on TV’s Breaking Bad was extraordinary. Here, he’s in service of a stunt-driven movie. The best that can be said about his work here is that he gives off such intensity, even during

the silliest scenes, he proves he can carry a movie. If only his first starring role offered more substance than flash. Michael Keaton, likewise, does more for the movie than it does for him: playing a pirate DJ for illegal street racers, Keaton entertains by overacting wildly and making all of his lines sound improvised.

A passenger seat romance between Paul and Imogen Poots grew on me and is the closest the movie has to an emotional center. For speed freaks who love these kind of movies, it rates pretty high: while better than Torque, Tokyo Drift and Gone in Sixty Seconds, it isn’t as great as Ronin and doesn’t top the fourth and fifth Fast and Furious installments. Still, this gorgeously shot guilty pleasure will have you clutching your seat rest. ■

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Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului.

1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Son Of God-PG13- THU 10:30 1:25 4:20 7:15 10:10, FRI-WED 12:30 2:45 5:00 7:15 10:05 The Wind Rises-PG13- THU 12:45 3:30 6:15, FRIWED 10:55 1:40 Robocop-PG13- THU 11:00 2:00 4:30 7:30 10:00, FRI-WED 11:00 2:00 4:30 7:30 10:00 Pompeii-PG13- THU 11:30 2:00 4:35 7:20 9:45, FRI-WED 4:35 7:00 9:25 300: Rise of an Empire-R- THU 11:00 12:00 1:25 2:25 3:45 5:10 6:10 7:35 8:35 9:20 10:00, FRIWED 10:50 11:20 11:50 1:00 1:30 2:00 3:10 3:40 4:10 5:20 5:50 6:20 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:40 10:10 MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) Need For Speed-PG13- 2D FRI (12:50 3:50) 7:30 10:00, SAT-SUN (12:50) 3:50 7:30 10:00, MONTUE (12:50 3:50) 7:30 10:00, WED (12:50 3:50) 7:30 10:20, 3D FRI-TUE (12:20 3:20) 7:00 9:30, WED (12:20 3:20) 7:00 9:50 Met Opera: Werther-NR- SAT 12:55, WED 6:30 Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club-PG13- FRI (11:10 1:50 4:30) 7:20 10:10, SAT-SUN (11:10 1:50) 4:30 7:20 10:10, MON-WED (11:10 1:50 4:30) 7:20 10:10 Non-Stop-PG13- THU (11:00 1:40 4:20) 6:30 7:00 9:10 9:40, FRI (11:20 2:00 4:40) 7:20 10:30, SAT-SUN (11:20 2:00) 4:40 7:20 10:30, MON-THU (11:20 2:00 4:40) 7:20 10:30 3 Days To Kill-PG13- THU (10:50 1:20 4:20) 7:00 9:50, FRI (1:00 4:00) 6:50 9:50, SAT-SUN (1:00) 4:00 6:50 9:50, MON-TUE (1:00 4:00) 6:50 9:50, WED (1:00) About Last Night-R- THU (4:10)10:20 The LEGO Movie THU 2D (11:30 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:40 3D (11:00 1:30 4:00), FRI (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 10:00, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:00) 4:30 7:00 10:00, MON-WED (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 10:00 The Monuments Men- PG13- THU (10:50 1:30 4:30) 7:20 10:10, FRI (12:40 3:50) 6:40 9:40, SATSUN (12:40) 3:50 6:40 9:40, MON-WED (12:40 3:50) 6:40 9:40

NEW THIS WEEK MET OPERA: WERTHER - NR - Music - The Metropolitan Opera presents Massenet’s Werther. 195 min.

TYLER PERRY’S THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB PG13 - Comedy/Drama - A bunch of single mothers create a support group to get through life. 111 min.

NEED FOR SPEED - PG13 - Action/Crime - An ex-con joins a cross-country race to take revenge on the wealthy business associate who got him wrongly sent to prison in the first place. See this week’s film critique. 130 min.

NOW PLAYING 3 DAYS TO KILL - PG13 - Action/Drama - A dying Secret Service agent must do one last assignment so he can get some experimental drug that could save his life. Also, he wants to reconnect with his estranged daughter because, you know, Hollywood. 113 min.

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE - R - Action/War - Totally ripped Greeks and Persians battle it out again over land, some chick, whatever. 102 min.

AMERICAN HUSTLE - R - Drama - A con man (Christian Bale) and his pretty partner in crime (Amy Adams) end up working with a crazy FBI agent

Lone Survivor-R- THU (12:40 3:40) 6:50 9:50, FRI-WED (1:20) 6:30 The Wolf Of Wall Street-R- THU (2:50) 9:00 American Hustle-R- THU (12:30 3:30) 6:30 9:30, FRI (12:30 3:30) 6:30 9:30 SAT 6:30 9:30, SUN (12:30) 3:30 6:30 9:30, MON-WED (12:30 3:30) 6:30 9:30 Frozen-PG- THU (11:10 1:50 4:30) 7:10 10:00, FRI (1:10 4:00) 6:50 9:40, SAT-SUN (1:10) 4:00 6:50 9:40 MON-WED (1:10 4:00) 6:50 9:40 Philomena-PG13- THU (12:10) 6:40, FRI (11:00 4:10) 9:20, SAT-SUN (11:00) 4:10 9:20, MONWED (11:00 4:10) 9:20 Mr. Peabody and Sherman-PG- 2D THU (11:10 1:40 4:10) 6:50 9:20, 2D FRI (11:40 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:50. 3D (11:10 1:40 4:10) 6:40 9:20, 2D SAT-SUN (11:40 2:10) 4:40 7:10 9:50. 3D (11:10 1:40) 4:10 6:40 9:20 2D MON-WED (1140 210

440)710 950. 3D (11:10 1:40 4:10) 6:40 9:20 WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Non-Stop-PG13- THU 1:30 4:15 7:15 10:00, FRI-SUN 1:30 4:15 7:15 10:00, MON 1:30 4:15 7:15, TUE 1:30 4:15 7:15 10:00, WED 1:30 4:15 7:15 Son Of God-PG13- THU 12:30 3:45 6:45 9:50 300: Rise of an Empire- THU 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:00 9:45, FRI-SUN 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 9:50, MON 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10, TUE 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 9:50, WED 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 Need For Speed-PG13- FRI-SUN 2D 3:45 10:10 3D 12:30 7:00, MON 2D 3:45 3D 12:30 7:00, TUE 2D 3:45 10:10 3D 12:30 7:00, WED 2D 3:45 3D 12:30 7:00

Last chance to see The Wolf of Wall Street

THURSDAY THURSDAY NIGHT

3/13

(Bradley Cooper). 138 min.

FROZEN - PG - Animation - Kristen Bell plays some girl who makes her way through some icy kingdom to find her sister. Oh, and there’s a snowman in there somewhere. 108 min.

LONE SURVIVOR - R - Action - Four Navy SEALs end up in a very bad situation in Afghanistan in 2005. Stars Mark Wahlberg. 121 min.

MONUMENTS MEN - PG13 - Drama - George Clooney and Matt Damon star in this not particularly accurate look at American soldiers in World War II who rescued works of art from the Nazis. 118 min.

MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN - PG - Animation - As anyone who’s watched Bullwinkle knows, this is about genius dog Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman traveling through time to meet important people and save history. 92 min.

NON-STOP - PG13 - Action/Thriller - An air marshal must do something a bunch of people on a trans-Atlantic flight after the airline is threatened.

Stars Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore. 106 min.

PHILOMENA - PG13 - Drama - A political journalist investigates a woman who was forced into a convent after becoming pregnant and is now looking for her son. 98 min.

POMPEII - PG13 - Action/Drama - A Roman gladiator tries to rescue his chick from a corrupt senator while Mount Vesuvius blows its top. 105 min.

ROBOCOP - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Not so great remake of the great 1987 sci-fi flick of the same name.

Stars Joel Kinnaman and Gary Oldman. 102 min SON OF GOD - PG13 - Drama - Another dramatic look at the life of Jesus, probably somewhere between King of Kings and The Passion of the Christ. 138 min.

THE LEGO MOVIE - PG - Animation/Comedy - A LEGO minifigure battles a tyrant who wants to glue the universe together. 100 min.

THE WIND RISES - PG13 - Animation - Hayao Miyazaki is back with this colorful and fanciful adventure about a Japanese boy who dreams of aircraft and flying in the 1920s. 126 min.

LAST CHANCE ABOUT LAST NIGHT - R - Romance/Comedy - People meet at a bar, then go to bed together.

Hilarity ensues. 113 min.

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET - R - Comedy - Martin Scorsese tells the story of Wall Street crook Jordan Belfort in all his sleazy, crooked glory. 180 min.

BLUES U S WITH

MARK JOHNSTONE & JU JJUSTIN STIN FAVELL

6:30AM-8:30PM 30AM 8 30PM • NO COVER

CHARLEY’S &

FRIDAY

3/14 RUMBLE ROCK RECORDZ PROUDLY PRESENTS

CHALA

WITH SPECIAL GUEST MC IRIE DOLE “WALK THIS WORLD” CD RELEASE PARTY 9:30PM • $10 COVER

SATURDAY

3/15

SUNDAY

3/16

NO M MUSIC MUS USIC US IC T TON TONIGHT ONIG ON IGHT IG HT

SALOON WILL BE OPEN BREAKFAST SERVED AT 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MONDAY HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

3/17 NO OPEN MIC TONIGHT

TUESDAY

3/18

HOWARD AHIA & FRIENDS

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

WEDNESDAY JAMIE GALLO’S SINGER &

3/19 /199

S NG SO NGWR WRITER ER SHOWCASE SSHO HOWC WCAS A SONGWRITER

6:30PM-9:30PM • NO COVER

MARCH 13, 2014 21

by Alex Mitchell & Dayna Yamasaki

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS CHALA CD RELEASE PARTY - Fri, Mar 14. Hosted by MC/DJ Irie Dole of Q103, Maui reggae band CHALA will dominate the Northshore music scene this Friday night. Bring your friends, party and dance to a live performance of CHALA’S new album Walk This World and hit singles like Can’t Stop Smiling and Dawn Patrol. Come early for various Q103 Giveaways; CDs, stickers and more Maui reggae schwag. 21+, $10 all night, doors open at 9:30pm.

Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085, charleysmaui.com JOHN CRUZ LIVE - Fri, Mar 17. Here’s a chance to enjoy an intimate dinner show with John Cruz in Kihei. In 2008, Cruz was named the Best Singer Songwriter by Hawaii Magazine in 2008 and won the Na Hoku Hanohano Award for Contemporary Album of the Year. His music delivers warm, heartfelt melodies and passionately soulful vocals. Dinner at 6pm, show starts at 7:30pm. Stella Blues (1279 S Kihei Rd.); stellablues.com; 808-874-3779.

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW - Fri, Mar 17.

Enjoy some good ol’ Upcountry fun with a night of bluegrass and soul country with Brown Chicken Brown Cow. Show starts at 10pm, 21+, $15.

Casanova Makawao (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808572-0220, casanovamaui.com ST. PATRICK’S DAY AT MULLIGANS - Mon, Mar 17.Join the Biggest St. Patty’s Day Party in the Pacific. The Polka Paddies play from 12-2pm with a 16-piece Irish Dance and Music Troupe from Dublin, Isle of Maui Pipe Band plays at 4pm, Celtic Tigers at 5pm, and the Willie K Band at 8pm. Enjoy drink and food specials, a Best Hat Contest and a Best Leprachaun Contest. 9am-Late night. Doors open at 9am for an Irish Breakfast, no cover before 4pm. Tickets are $10 in advance, $15 at the door, full dinner and admission package is $45.

Mulligans on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea), 808-874-1131, mulligansontheblue.com

STAGE LA CAGE AUX FOLLE - La Cage aux Folles Jerry Herman’s La Cage aux Folles has returned to Maui. Georges is the manager of a St. Tropez nightclub featuring drag entertainment, and Albin is his romantic partner and the star attraction. Farcical adventures ensue when Georges’ son, JeanMichel (fathered during a one-night fling), brings home his fiancée’s ultra-conservative parents to meet them. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 14 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful and entertaining cultural education on Maui. Starting at $15.99 keiki / $39.99 adults. Kama‘aina, dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com BURN’N LOVE–A MUSICAL JOURNEY STARRING DARREN LEE - Daily. Experience Elvis in Hawaii with Burn’n Love! Relive the nostalgia of Blue Hawaii and the Aloha from Hawaii live broadcast that made TV history with the most authentic Elvis tribute show ever presented on stage. Shows Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 8pm.

Tickets start at $59.99, and kama‘aina prices are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 8pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com FIDDLER ON THE ROOF - The Maui Academy of Performing Arts is presenting the classic musical Fiddler On The Roof. The show deals with social change, political oppression and revolution in Russia during the early 1900’s. The production is famous for a soundtrack that includes

22 MARCH 13, 2014

songs like “Sunrise, Sunset” and “If I were a Rich Man.” The show runs through Mar. 22.

Fridays and Saturdays 7:30pm, and Sundays at 2:00pm. $24 adults, $22 seniors & $18 students (18 and under). MAPA’s Steppingstone Playhouse (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-244-8760, mauiacademy.otg

FOODIE VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Thu, Mar 13. See (and sample) how Chef Rachel Davies uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast, and desserts. No registration required. For a jump start on the class, check out more than 600 healthy recipes at downtoearth. org. First and third Thursday of every month.

Free. 5:30-6:30pm Down To Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; downtoearth.org JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - Sat, Mar 15. Join sushi chef Jay Ledee in Japengo’s chic sushi lounge. Learn how to create Japengo’s signature sushi rolls from scratch, with hands-on instruction from Chef Jay and Japengo’s team of expert sushi chefs. $50 per person (includes sushi, nonalcoholic beverages, tax and gratuity). Maximum 20 people per class, reservations are required. Every 2nd and 4th Saturday of every month. 3-4:30pm Japengo at the Hyatt Regency, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; maui.hyatt.com SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun, Mar 16. Enjoy a healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Come early, the laulau special is first-come, first-served and does sell out. Kama‘aina offer not applicable. Ko Restaurant at The Fairmont Kea Lani, Maui, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; fairmont.com

ART BAZ MAUI - Fri, Mar 14. Baz is a self-taught artist with over 20 years of experience. Originally from Saint Vincent and the Grenadines he was influenced by his father, a skilled carpenter and guitar maker, and the vibrant colors and form of Caribbean art. A talented fiber artist, Baz will be working with material directly from nature including barks and leaves. Refreshments served.

Free. 4:30-7:30pm Maui Hands Gallery (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898.

JANICE LOCKWOOD-AVERILL - Fri, Mar 14.

Meet Janice at a reception event and take a look at her gallery of her Critters Doing Jail Time Exhibition. A whimsical colorful display of fun scenes and critters for all ages painted in acrylics and textured embellishments. Refreshments provided.

Free. 6-8pm Old Jail Gallery at Courthouse Lahaina (648 Wharf St., Lahaina).

MORT LUBY - Mon, Mar 17. Mort Luby studied art at the Universities of Notre Dame and Chicago. He is a member of numerous art associations, including the Oil Painters of America, the Plein Air Painters of Chicago, the Valley Art Club and the Palette and Chisel Academy of Art in Chicago. Mort paints in oil and watercolor. The scope of his work encompasses everything from life drawings to huge oil paintings of historical scenes. The artist will be demonstrating watercolor techniques. A large collection of both oil and watercolor paintings will be on display. Free. 11am-1:30pm Maui Hands Gallery (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-2021.

VICTORIA WUNDRUM - Tue, Mar 18. Acrylic and pastel and also creates jewelry and mixed media constructions. She says of her recent body of watercolors “I love the combination of control and abandonment. Carefully painting clear water on a detailed space and then dropping pigment and watching it move and settle into the thick, tex-

tured paper is wonderful. I love the bright clear colors that can be captured with watercolor.”

Free. 11am-3pm Maui Hands Galleries (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-2021.

NADINE RAMELB - Wed, Mar 19. Purely self-taught, Nadine Ramelb’s artistic expression has evolved from the inspiration of the paradise of Hawaii, where she has lived for the last 27 years. Her watercolor style is free-form blends and bleeds of lush color applications without pre-penciling. Her beautiful new scenic series is created in acrylics using her signature strokes. Free. 12-5:30pm Maui Hands Gallery (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245.

DR. JOIE “YASHA” TAYLOR - Fri, Mar 14 and Wed, Mar 19. Joie Taylor is an artist, meditation guide, dancer, musician and has PhD in engineering from Cornell University. No two pieces of her jewelry are the same. Her designs incorporate gemstones and fine beads with gold and silver metal forming techniques. “Gemstones and metals carry a specific quality that enhances physical, mental and often spiritual properties for sensitive souls,” Taylor says. “The aesthetic design of these pieces brings the inner beauty of the wearer to the surface.” Free. Fri 11-5pm, Maui Hands Gallery (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808579-9245, or Wed 11-6pm, Maui Hands Gallery (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898.

ISLAND ART PARTY CLASSES - Wed-Sat. Art Party from 6:30-9:30pm, Sunday Morning Art Party 10am-1pm. It’s part art party, part painting class. Island Art Party (1279 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-419-6020; islandartparty.com

TICKETS ON SALE JOHN SEBASTIAN - Fri, Mar 21. This founding member of The Lovin’ Spoonful had original songs become hits like, “Do You Believe In Magic?,” “You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice,” “Daydream,” “Younger Girl,” “Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?” and “Summer In The City.” Sebastian remains one of the best ambassadors of American music today. Doors open at 7:00 pm. Tickets: $40. $45. $55. Reserved. For Videos, Music and more information, visit lazarbear.com. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org AUGIE T & REX NAVARRETE- BENEFIT FOR TYPHOON HAIYAN - Fri, Mar 21. Local favorites Rex Navarrete—the “Premiere Filipino American Comedian”–and Augie T—“Hawaii’s Favorite Filipino Portuguese Comedian”–perform together in a big night of laughs. Tickets are $20 and $35. 7:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org HAWAII PACIFIC UNIVERSITY SYMPHONY WITH MAKANA - Sat, Apr 5. Called “dazzling” by The New York Times, slack key guitar master Makana teams up with the Hawaii Pacific University Symphony Orchestra for this sonically captivating evening of music. The art of Hawaiian slack key guitar (ki ho‘alu) produces symphoniclike sound from one guitar. Makana with the HPU Symphony is a rare and powerful combination that is not to be missed. Special guests include alternative folk band sensation Streetlight Cadence.

Tickets are $30, $20, $15 for seniors, military, and $10 students w/ID. 7:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org BOB DYLAN - Sat, Apr 26. The legendary singersongwriter will perform in Hawaii for the first time in 16 years. Bob Dylan’s best music often touched on contemporary social issues: “Like a Rolling Stone,” “Tangled Up in Blue,” “Just Like a Woman,” “All Along the Watchtower,” “Mr. Tambourine

Man,” “Blowin’ in the Wind” and “Times They Are a Changing,” In 1997, Dylan became the first rock musician to receive the Kennedy Center Honors for lifetime achievement in performing arts, and in 2008 he was the recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for his “profound impact on popular music and American culture, marked by lyrical compositions of extraordinary poetic power.” $59-$125. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org MAUI BREWERS FESTIVAL - Sat, May 17.

One of Maui’s favorite festivals features the specialty and craft brews of dozens of breweries from Hawaii and the Mainland, as well as scrumptious pupu samplers from many of the island’s favorite restaurants and caterers. Admission to the Festival includes a commemorative glass to use in sampling eight four-ounce pours of beer. There will be live music for entertainment, as well as prizes.

Proceeds benefit the MACC’s many educational programs for students, teachers and seniors, as well as the many free events offered to the Maui County community. Tickets go on sale Mar. 17, $60-$110, 21+, 2:30-7pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Yokouchi Pavilion (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAR 13 GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. $37-$79. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-6696271; slackkeyshow.com

FRIDAY, MAR 14 MAUI COUNTY COUNCIL MEETING - After a lot of lobbying and hard work, the County Council will take up the “Butts Off Our Beaches Bill,” which is supported by the Surfrider Foundation. 3pm, Maui County Council Building 2, Kalana Pakui Bldg (200 S High St., Wailuku); 808-270-7735.

SATURDAY, MAR 15 FRIENDS OF HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK - The Friends of Haleakala National Park want volunteers for a service project in Haleakala Crater Saturday to Monday, Mar. 15-17. Participants will hike into and out of the Crater, stay free in Kapalaoa Cabin, and work on removal of invasive plants in the Crater wilderness. In addition to helping the environment and enjoying the fellowship of the volunteer group, participants will also have some time for hiking, star-gazing, photography or just relaxation. The park entrance and cabin fees are waived for volunteers doing service work with the Friends of Haleakala National Park. A maximum of 12 persons can be accommodated on each trip, and participants must be physically fit and able to hike in and out of the crater carrying their sleeping bag and a share of the food. Free.

Haleakala National Park. 808-876-1673; fhnp.org MAXIMIZING SOCIAL MEDIA IN YOUR DIGITAL MARKETING PLAN - Join Peter Liu as he takes you on a tour of today’s web and gives you all the tools you need to construct a sound, holistic digital communications strategy to market your business, with social media as its core element. Seating is limited, register now. $65, Lunch is included. 10am-4pm Malcolm Center (1305 Holopono St., Kihei) MAUI YARNS NEW PRODUCTS UNVEILING - This event is to celebrate the successful launch of yarns hand dyed in Maui Hawaii. The colorful yarns have inspired other local artists and designers to create notions to compliment Sara’s colors like: Coconuts keep Falling on My Head, Napili Bay, Surfer Boy Blue and Maui Sunset. Come

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/13

3/14

3/15

3/16

3/17-3/19

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

DigiLuxe w/DJ TRVR 10pm

Le Grind w/DJ Blast, 10pm

Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Brown Chicken Brown Cow 10pm, $15

Dr, Nat & Rio Ritmo 9:45pm, $10

WED- Famous Ladies Night w/DJ Kurt, 9-1am

CHALA CD Release Party! w/MC/DJ Irie Dole of Q103 9:30pm, $10 all night

no music, saloon is open

MON - St. Patrick’s Day! TUE - Howard Ahia & Friends 6:30-8:30/ WED-Jamie Gallo Showcase, 6:30-8:30

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

Next Level Entertainment 9pm

DJ Blast, 9pm

LIVE MUSIC, 9pm

Gina Martinelli , 6pm

Quiz 7pm

DJ 10pm

Jordan 7pm

S.I.N.

MON -St. Patty’s Day Party ALL day, T UE-House Music, WED- Kanoa 10pm

Thunder & Lightning 6:30pm

Alapa Drive, 6:30pm

Smile at the Moon, 6:30pm

Rick G, 6:30pm

MON-St. Patrick’s Day w/The Haiku Hillbilly’s WED-JD on the Rocks 6:30pm

Dominic 6pm, JAH Residentz 9pm

Rick G 4pm, Dat Guyz 9pm

Ryan Robinson 4pm, Rootz n Creation, 9pm

Karaoke 8pm

MON - St. Patty’s Karaoke, 8pm, TUE-Karaoke, WED- Rick G 4-8pm, Open Mic 9pm-close

Elvis! Burn’n Love Sneak Peak, 6:30pm

Evan Schulman, 5:30-8:30pm

St.Patty’s w/ Marty Dread, 10pm

TUE-Elvis Burn’n Love Sneak Peak 6:30pm WED-Kenny Roberts, 5:30-8:30pm, no cover

Karaoke 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

WED - Karaoke 9pm

Rick Glencross, 7pm

Mel Aruza, 7pm

Rick Glencross, 7pm

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Blues Night w/ Mark Johnstone & Justin Favell, 6:30-8:30pm

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd.- 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-5700

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

and meet Sara Linquist, the graduate designer and creator of Maui Yarns. Free parking and free knitting advice. 5:30-7:30pm Binky’s (3600 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokawai); 808-276-7474; MALA WHARF BEACH CLEANUP - Surfrider will be cleaning Mala Wharf. As Surfrider’s push to document the impact of cigarettes on county beaches continues, they’ll continue to count individual cigarette butts. They will provide gloves, burlap sacks, a check-in table, direction, consolidation bags and a lunch delivered by Lulu’s Surf Grill. Meet near the boat ramp. 9-11:30am. Mala Wharf, (Lahaina).

SUNDAY, MAR 16 FREE CLASS ON APPLE IPHONE: GETTING STARTED - Attend this workshop and learn about the great features of your iPhone. During this workshop Verizon experts will show you how to use features like Maps, Siri (not available on all models), FaceTime, the app store and much more. Free. 8:30-9:15 a.m. Verizon Store at Maui Marketplace (270 Dairy Rd., Suite 156, Kahului); 808-877-4343.

COMPLETE HEALTH IMPROVEMENT PROGRAM - Interested in taking back control of your health and well-being? Here’s a chance to meet representatives from the Complete Health Improvement Program (CHIP).

Learn how a plant-strong diet can radically improve your energy level and waistline. Free.

11-2pm Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-242-8423; kahuluichip@gmail.com FREE HULA SHOW - Free. 11am Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com GLBT MAUI PRIDE MARTINI NIGHT - GLBT and friends are invited to sip martinis and mingle every Sunday at Ambrosia. Free. No host food & drinks. 8pm-2am Ambrosia, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; mauipride.org

MON - St. Patrick’s Day Bash w/DJ CIA 9pm TUE- Tequila Tuesday w/DJ Skinny Guy 10pm, WED- Polka Dots & Moonbeams w/DJ , 10pm

Kool Kat Affair w/DJ Vince Hollywood, 10pm

TUESDAY, MAR 18 FREE SPINE HEALTH SCREENINGS - Meet Dr James Urban, who has more than 20 years of experience in the “gonstead” art from of adjusting–the “gold standard” in traditional full-spine adjusting. Urban is offering free health scans of the spine through the use of thermography for Whole Foods Market customers. Thermography reads temperatures along the spine that can indicate pain, trauma, imbalance or other potential hidden health problems and only takes seconds!

First-come, first-served. Free. 12:30-3:30pm Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 x120

WEDNESDAY, MAR 19 SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back. Meet at South Maui Bicycles shop shortly before 7am. Road bikes recommended. Free. Every Wednesday. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; southmauibicycles.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. $37-$79. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-6696271; slackkeyshow.com

FARMERS MARKET, ART/CRAFT FAIRS FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, HONOKOWAI - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11am Farmers Market Maui & Deli, (3636 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Kahana); 808-669-7004 FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, KIHEI - Mon-Fri.

T-Dance w/DJ Playfire Ono and Guest DJ, 4pm Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

Mike Madden & Farzad Azad, 7pm

Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. On Fridays, open until 5pm. 8am-4pm Farmers Market of Maui, (61 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-0949 MAKAWAO FARMERS MARKET - Every Wed. Fresh produce. Everything sold is Maui Grown, non-GMO and organic. 9am-2pm Po‘okela Church, (200 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-419-1570 FARMERS MARKET IN PAIA - Daily. Island grown fruit smoothies, coconut water and fresh juices. Organically grown Maui fruits and veggies. Produce Boxes available. Support your local farmers at One Love market at the Historic Paia Train Station. 10am-6pm One Love Market, (381 Baldwin Ave, Paia); 808-280-9019; onelovemarket.com ONO ORGANIC FARMS - Daily (except Sat).

A family-owned and operated, certified organic coffee and tropical fruit farm. 10:30am-6pm Ono Organic Farms, (149 Hana Hwy.) KULA COUNTRY FARMS - Daily (except Mon).

Kula Country Farm stand offers fruits and vegetables that are only locally grown and harvested fresh then stocked on the shelves daily. Open T-Th 11am to 5pm. 11am-4pm Kula Country Farms, (Kula Hwy at Kekaulike Avenue, Kula) OPEN MARKET - Every Wed. Hale Ku‘ai Open Market features fresh fruit and vegetables open to the public on Wednesday from 11am to 2pm.

Available for pre orders pick up on Wednesday call 984-2156 or email lanakilahalekuai@gmail. com. Free. 11am-2pm Open market, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156 FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE LAHAINA - Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 10am-12pm

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz 7:30-10pm WED-TBA MON- Gomega & Rising Strong St. Patty’s Party, 9pm, TUE-Pool League, 9pm, WED-CLOSED

MON- Mike & Farzad, TUE-Cole Sulenta, WED-Fulton Tashombe

Republic Parking Lot, (Corner of Dickenson and Waine‘e, Lahaina); feedmysheepmaui.com HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Every Thu. 11am-3pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy) FARMERS MARKET UHMC - Every Mon & Thu. Enjoy fresh sustainably grown produce including tomatoes, lettuce, eggplant, squash, kale, beets, radish, herbs, Asian greens, daikon, chard, flowers and more. Grown on campus by Agriculture and Natural Resource students. 12-1:30pm University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; maui.hawaii.edu FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHANA - Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 2-4pm Lahaina Christian Fellowship Church, (4275 Hine Way, Kahana); feedmysheepmaui.com

SOMETHING MISSING? SEND CALENDAR INFO TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

MARCH 13, 2014 23

MARCH 14 JOHN CRUZ DINNER SHOW

MARCH 21 PAULA FUGA, MIKE LOVE AND SAM ITES DINNER SHOW

$

S T. PA ’S P A RTTTYY

4 Bud Light

Aluminum Bottles

MARCH 28 4TH FRIDAY KIHEI TOWN PARTY

MARCH 29 JOHN CRUZ DINNER SHOW

@ 9PM SHUTTLE TO AND FROM DOG AND DUCK & DIAMONDS 3PM-MIDNIGHT 1279 S. KIHEI RD • 874-9299

RUN WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT DJ KURT

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM $15 COVER

FRIDAY, MARCH 14TH

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW

TIL YOU’RE

GREEN!

BLUE GRASS AND SOUL COUNTRY

THE BOYS ARE BACK FOR ANOTHER FAB NIGHT

SATURDAY, MARCH 15TH

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM $10 COVER

DR. NAT & RIO RITMO SAMBA Y SALSA Y LATIN BEATS

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

24 MARCH 13, 2014

St. Patrick’s Day

3 mile run/walk March 17th, 2014 • 5:30pm • Kahului Ale House Registration at: www.MauiRunning.com The most fun run on maui!

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/13

3/14

3/15

3/16

3/17-3/19

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kawika’s Krew

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Jarod or Maui Blues & Co 7pm; no cover

MON - John Ness or The Vamp TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm

1810’, 6:30-8:30pm

Willie K, 9-11pm $5

1810’, 8-10pm

Benny and Glenn, 6-8pm

MON - Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm, TUE + WED - Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - St. Patrick’s Day Party

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MAUI BEACH HOTEL 1 70 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului - 877-0051

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Karaoke

Karaoke

Whiskey Pimps, 10:30pm, $5

Stoplight Party, 10:30pm, $5

Rock Thursdays & Pool Tournament 8pm-close

Latin Friday’s w/ DJ Danny & DJ Moy, 10pm no cover

Ignite Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & Kamikaze, 10pm

no

info

at

press

time

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Hawaiiian Steel Guitar, 5:30-6:30pm, Willie K 7-9pm, Trish da Dish, 9:30-midnight

Stay Eazy 6:30-8:30pm,

Bocci Balll Tournament Soul Kitchen 7-9pm,

Hospice Maui Golf Tournament The Celtic Tigers, 6:30-9:30pm

MON - St. Patrick’s Day Event w/Special Entertainment ALL Day!!

TUE - Brenton Keith & His Bag of Tricks 6:30-8:00

LIPOA STREET FARMERS MARKET IN KIHEI - Every Sat. Fruits, produce and Ono Farm sourced foods, 8:30am-11:00am, (95 Lipoa St., Kihei)

5-10pm Longhi’s Lahaina, (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; longhis.com

MAUI SWAP MEET - Every Sat. From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, produce market, this place pretty much has it all.

50 cents admission. 7am-1pm Maui Community College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808244-3100; mauiexposition.com

DINNER MUSIC

UPCOUNTRY FARMER’S MARKET - Every Sat. Find the best veggies, fruits, flowers and plants, Maui farmers have to offer. Plus, extra goodies like jams and jellies. 7-11am Kulamalu Town Center (near Longs Drugs), 808-283-3257; upcountryfarmersmarket.org; upcountryfarmersmarket@gmail.com

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Classic Rock 4-10pm; Every Tue & Sat, Easy Listening 4-10pm; Sun, Classic Rock 4-10pm; Mon, Jazz Rock 4-10pm; Every Wed & Fri, Rock & Roll 4-10pm. (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855.

LIPOA STREET FARMER’S MARKET - Every Sat. Fresh produce from Maui’s farms, and handmade products. Great fruits and veggies. 8am12pm South Maui Center, (95 Lipoa St., Kihei) LAHAINA ARTS SOCIETY’S FINE ART FAIR - Every Sun & Sat. Under the shade of Lahaina’s famous banyan tree, over 50 select Maui artists show and sell their work. Find unique treasures including jewelry, art, handsewn items, candles and time travel at the Historic Old Lahaina Courthouse. Free. 9am-5pm Banyan Tree Park, (649 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-9175; visitlahaina.com FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHULUI Every Sat. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted.

Free. 9:30am-12pm Christ the King Church, (Corner of Wakea Ave. and Pu ‘unene Ave., Kahului); feedmysheepmaui.com HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Mondays. 3-6pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy.) ARTISAN FAIR - Mondays. Come to shop, stay to dine. Local made on Maui Artists showcasing and selling artwork, photography, jewelry, accessories, clothing, massage and wellness.

Cash bar and complimentary valet. Free entry.

WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Sat, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7:3010pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:3010pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Mon, Peter D 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:30-10pm. (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Wed, Kalapana 3-5pm; Wed, Kaniela Q & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Fri, Damon and Tim 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Every Sun & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Every Sun & Mon, Keali‘i Lum 3-5pm; Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Every Wed & Sat, Danyell 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT STREET - Thu, Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Mon, Rick G 6:30-9:30pm; Fri, The House Shakers 6:30pm; Mon, Alapa Drive: Full Rock Band 6:30-9:30pm; Daily, Fleetwood’s on Front St. Oyster Hour 5-6pm. (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON, TUE & WED - Karaoke

Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 7-9:30pm, no cover MON- S.I.N. 10pm, TUE-Trivia Night 8pm, WED-Karaoke 10pm

Masoe 4pm; Thu, Damon Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali’i Parillo 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Mark D’Antonio 6:30pm; Sat, Damon Parillo 1:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali’i 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am.

(2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636.

JAPENGO AT THE HYATT REGENCY - Thu, Kanoa Kukaua Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, MandoKane 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:308:30pm; Mon, Margie Hart 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kanoa Kukauta 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Pam Peterson 6:30-8:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Mel Arausa 7-10pm; Sun, Mike Madden 7-10pm; Mon, Farzad Azad 7-10pm; Tue, Cole Suletna 7-10pm; Wed, Tracy Stiles 7-10pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Honokowai); 808-667-0787.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakugawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Mon, Evan Shulman 5:308:30pm; Fri, Evan Shulman 5:30-8:30pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Tue, Open Mic.; Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Waine‘e St., Lahaina); 808-667-6655.

HULA GRILL - Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh

3-5pm. (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA‘ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm.

(100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Thu, Rock Thursday 6-9pm; Wed, Island Jams with Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808.

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/ listing and start posting events.

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Start planning your week!

MARCH 13, 2014 25

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SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

Shea & Eddie Nuno, 7-10pm

Maui Blues Band, 7-10pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

DJ Blast 10pm

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

Pub Trivia, 8pm no cover

STELLA BLUES CAFE

1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

MERRIMAN’S - Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm; Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400.

UMALU - Sun, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; Mon, Kawika LumHo 6-8pm; Tue, Craig Soderberg 6-8pm; Wed, Kawika Ortiz 5-9:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Mon, Kanoa and Jessica Rabbitt

FREE Pool

MON-St. Patty’s Day, & Bingo7-9pm , TUEPau Hana Pool League, WED- Free Pool

Kekona Ohana, 8:30pm no cover

Kanekoa Acoustic Trio, 5pm no cover

MON- St. Patrick’s Day party ALL day!

TUE- Free Pool, WED-Free Pool

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON-WED- Karaoke

GOGO Dancing

Free Karaoke

Alternative Night w/ DJ

Free Karaoke

MON, TUE & WED- Free Karaoke

7pm; Thu, Special Guest 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299.

THE CLIFF DIVE BAR - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:308pm; Sat, Larry Golis & Hollis Lee 6:30-8pm; Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm. (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-8025.

UFC , 5pm

Karaoke

PARADISE GRILL - Fri, Kaliko’s Way 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troup E 6-9pm. (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500.

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED - New La80’s Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10pm)

Jazz Night w/Louise & Friends, no cover

CAPISCHE? - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone (solo) 7-10pm; (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

Kanoa 10pm; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-8889.

DJ LX 10pm; no cover

Head High, 9pm, $4 cover

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 6-9pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

MON- WED Victoria/String Guitar 6-8:30pm

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm. (300 Maalaea Rd.); 808-243-2286.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Thu, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

Karaoke, 7-10pm

John Cruz Supper Club, 6pm

1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Just Us, 8pm, no cover

John Grover Band, 7-10pm

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm; Sat, Jordan T. 7pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

GANNON’S A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm; Fri, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm. (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Dominic 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888.

MAUI COAST HOTEL - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6284.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom & Mark 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

WED- Blues Night w/House Shakers 8:30pm, no cover

Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Willie K. 7-9pm; Thu, Murray Thorne sets Mulligans afire 7pm; Thu, Super Fun Pub Quiz with Trish 9:30pm; Fri, Stay Eazy 7-9pm; Sat, Soul Kitchen 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:309:30pm; Mon, The Makai Jazz Group 7-9pm; Tue, Brenton Keith’s Mulligan’s Magic Show 6:30-8pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:30-6:30pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Every 2nd Fri, Isa Inca Belly Dancing 6:30-8:30pm. Sat, David Wolf 6:30-8:30pm. Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 6:30-8:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

RITA’S - Sat, Blues with Louise Lambert and Kenny Geiser 6:30-9:30pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-5788.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Clay Mortensen 4-6pm; Tue, Kimo 4-6pm; Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Thu, Rama Camarillo 6:308:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Artie Parti 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 6:30-8:30pm.

(2395 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-2910.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Fri, Louise Lambert Jazz Trio 7:30-10:30pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:30-9:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.);

808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Piilani Arias 5-8pm; Fri, Local Live Music 5-9pm; Sat, Ben Deleon 5-9pm; Sun, Live Music 5-8pm; Mon, Ben Deleon 5-8pm; Wed, Sheron Depont 5-8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001.

WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-495-0259.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Thu, Prime Rib Thursday Night Blues with Mark Johnstone & Justin Favell 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

DAZOO RESTAURANT - Tue, Richard Dancil Hawaiian Music 6-8pm; Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm; Mon, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm.

(89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Thu, Rick 6-9pm; Fri, Steve Sargenti and Swiss 6-9pm; Sat, Tradewinds 6-9pm; Mon, Hula Honeys 6-9pm; Wed, Betz and Adam with Vince Esquire 6:30-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

SOMETHING MISSING? SEND CALENDAR INFO TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

MARCH 13, 2014 27

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Glam rock is your calling, or something like it. Think about it, back when glam rock was new these guys were playing with sexual stereotypes, donning makeup, hairspray, and cross-gender clothing to be both rebellious and entertaining. Pisceans excel at blending seemingly incongruous worlds—so much so that if you’re not busy juxtaposing extremes, you may feel a bit trapped and underappreciated. This is one of your prime talents, so use it: make yourself something the world has never seen, thereby making the world into something you’ve never seen.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Mars is primed for exploration. Most experts agree that if we made up our minds to do it, we’re probably no more than 10-15 years from putting humans on the surface of your red ruling planet, despite its forbidding conditions, which include frigid temperatures, thin atmosphere, and dust storms that last for months.

Similarly, your most inhospitable spiritual terrain is now survivable—if not this week, then soon. New mental technology is opening up your harshest internal landscapes. The potential for expanding your self-awareness is too great; don’t pass on this admittedly scary opportunity. I guarantee the beauty you’ll discover will ultimately outweigh the fear you experience en route.

takes to go where you want to go, and whatever you do, don’t get turned away twice.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: D–17.5 percent higher 2: C–Kaniela Ing 3: A–Farming, fishing and forestry

“Scotch on the rocks!” may become your mantra this week, if you’re not careful. Beware alcoholism; although Virgos aren’t naturally predisposed to the affliction, you’re more in danger of it this week than usual. Go ahead and pour yourself a drink first thing when you get home, if you really have to—but stop there. Find other ways to limit your stress, so you won’t be so tempted to cope with it by getting wasted. Naps, hot tea, and bubble baths are the cliché recipe for stress-reduction.

Personally, I recommend lots and lots of sex.

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LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Extremes aren’t your forte. This is no surprise; your symbol is the scale and you’re well known for your need and ability to provide and restore harmony to most situations. However, this week you’re likely to explore the wild outer frontiers usually populated by Scorpios or Aries, and hold your own in those places to boot. Your ability to bring balance to any experience allows for a wider spectrum of experience than most people think. Since at least one potential circumstance this week requires that you embody one of the most radical versions of yourself, just to maintain the social equilibrium, don’t hesitate to go there.

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TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

You’ve spent so long currying favor you really don’t know what to do once you’ve gotten it. It’s almost scarier being on everyone’s good side than when everybody you knew was pissed off at you. At least then, you had little to lose—psychic osmosis dictated your movement would probably be upwards. Now you’re constantly worried about screwing up all the good things you’ve got going. Let me ease your mind. You will screw them up. We all do, eventually. So quit agonizing, and enjoy the sweetness while it lasts, would you?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Imagine a dog who returns suddenly after seven months of absence, just in time for his owner’s birthday. He’d disappeared and after searching for him for months, she’d pretty much given up, until he suddenly appeared on her porch. Similarly, a piece of yourself that you’d long ago reluctantly let go of may reappear without warning this week, reminding you of the supposed truth of that well-worn chestnut, “If you love something, set it free.” Don’t buy that bullshit, though; while sometimes that’s all that you can do, I don’t recommend it this week. If you’re lucky enough to have something or someone you love reenter your life, grab onto them and try to never let them go.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Every time they find a (very rare) specimen of a colossal squid (only a few have ever been found), which can weigh more than a thousand pounds and be more than 30 feet long, I’m reminded how much about our own planet we don’t know. The ocean remains largely unexplored, and there’s every probability that as-yet unguessed species lurk at depths that remain beyond our reach. Still, it’s nice to get occasional clues that we don’t have it all figured out, like you will this week. The squid that washes up on your shore should remind you that although you’re certainly more self-aware than your average Joe, there are whole oceans out there that you haven’t even touched, let alone plumbed the depths of.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Your occasionally elitist tendencies may be severely shaken up when you’re bounced by the bouncer this week. Don’t play the sour grapes game, and decide that where you were kept out of was someplace not really worth going anyway. You can get in, but it may involve changing something about your attitude or self-imposed limitations. No, that does not always equal selling out—and especially not this week. Those changes are necessary, and it’s about time you had a reason to manifest them. So bare your boobs, kick some ass, or do whatever else it

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Suicide isn’t your style, but I hope you’ll understand where I’m coming from, anyway. You’re like a man who jumped off Goat Island once, apparently intending to kill himself with a plunge down Niagara Falls. He changed his mind mid-attempt, and was luckily able to grab hold of a rock a foot from the edge and cling to it in the frigid water for nearly two hours, until a helicopter crew could pull him out. I mention this because it’s remarkably similar to how astonishingly close you came to making a devastating decision you’d surely regret later, if you got the chance. Now that you’re clinging to that boulder inches from the precipice of your mistake, don’t despair. A rescue chopper is on its way.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Being blamed for shit you didn’t do always sucks.

Unfortunately, you’re likely to suffer this and a host of your other pet peeves next week and in the weeks to come. Besides biting your tongue and keeping your blood pressure down, avoiding the martyr trap will unfortunately be your chief challenge, so strike the phrase, “Why me?” from your vocabulary. There’s not much you can do about the hard-to-anticipate bullshit coming your way soon, so try not to worry too much about it. Instead, enjoy this week—which should be delightfully pet-peeve-free—while you can.

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Life is your open bar. I’m amazed at the variety and quantity of free, intoxicating influences available to you this week. That’s good; you deserve some pixilated playtime after the stresses you’ve had to endure lately. So enjoy it; but don’t go overboard. This is just a tiny taste of the many fabulous experiences that lie ahead for you all through the summer. I’d hate for you to embarrass yourself so badly that you’re never invited to another party again. Since there’ll be plenty more where this came from, you don’t want to miss out for a second.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

The race you didn’t know you were running is finally over. Take a minute, catch your breath, experience the relief of getting the marathon behind you, and push through your disappointment that the excitement has ended, at least for now. You paced yourself well for this challenge, but your sprint could use some work.

The next time you enter marathon-mode (which you’ll thankfully know about in advance) you’ll have to do a lot better. It’s good to take time to relax during these downtimes, but it’s good to train, too, because the next time I don’t want you to perform well—I want you to win.

To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

MARCH 13, 2014 29

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