16.46 Summer Camp Guide, May 2, 2013, Volume 16, Issue 46, MauiTime

May M a y 2, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 46 ✚ FREE

Best B est of Maui

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SUMMER CAMP GUIDE

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Contents

VOLUME 16 THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What summer camp do you wish you could attend?

✚

ISSUE 46

COVER: May M a y 2, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 46 ✚ FREE

Best B est of Maui

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Superhero camp Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Zombie survival camp Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Booze camp), Jenny Greene Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com That camp in the movie ‘Meatballs’ Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Norwegian death metal band camp

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SUMMER CAMP GUIDE

10x10 Move In Special

Special thanks to Valley Isle Gymnastics and state gynastics champion Austin Cablay.

Photo created at the Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center

by Sean M. Hower.

Design by Darris Hurst.

5 NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY 8 15 BEST OF MAUI BALLOT THIS WEEK’S PICKS 19 FILM CRITIQUE 20 FILM TIMES 21 DA KINE CALENDAR 22 THE GRID 23 CLASSIFIED 28 HOROSCOPE 29 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT 31

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Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Calendar Assistant: Jenna Schamber calendar@mauitime.com Proofreader: Dina Wilson Admin Assistants: Sara Riley, Jennifer Brown (808) 244-0777 Interns: Axel Beers, Sarah Gerlach (Chemistry of the forest), Lauren Hecker, Marina Satoafaiga

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

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News & Views

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Pay up!

MAUI NEWS TO INSTITUTE PAYWALL

months between March 2012 and September 2012 (the most recent I could locate).

And boosting print circulation certainly seems to be a priority to Bradley. The most recent ABC figures I could find (for the same period as mentioned for the StarAdvertiser) show The Maui News circulating 16,708 papers Monday-Saturday and another 18,961 on Sundays–virtually the same numbers the paper moved back in late 1999, when Ogden purchased it, but way down from the 22,000 or so papers they circulated in mid-2008.

The problem though is that paywalls also hurt web traffic, and that would seem to be the future of journalism (print subscribers tend to be in their 50s and older, while web news consumers are often much younger). According to an April 4, 2013 column in TheStreet. com, paywalls have done serious damage to a number of daily paper’s web traffic.

“A Columbia Journalism Review article from last June says the Dallas Morning-

The Columbia Tribune lost 25% of traffic and a shift to a local, free rival in order to secure $80k in revenue.”

Bradley seems to be gambling that because The Maui News is the island’s sole daily newspaper (and source of “90 percent” of stories about Maui), people will pay to read it online.

But The Maui News isn’t the sole source of news about Maui. In addition to this paper (which also post stories up on our free MauiFeed, MauiDish and MauiVents blogs nearly every day), MauiNow.com posts huge numbers of news stories (the vast majority of which are quickly rewritten County of Maui press releases and Maui News stories) on its free website. Even when The Maui News starts guarding its online news stories with a paywall, there will be nothing to stop other news websites from continuing to post vast quantities of stories online for free.

FRESH PLAY

PHOTO BY JACK GRACE PHOTOGRAPHY

It isn’t every day (or decade) that the Maui Weekly reports an actual news story, but stranger things have happened. According to a story in that paper’s April 25 issue, Maui News Publisher Joe Bradley has apparently decided to put up a new online paywall for the daily sometime in the next few months.

“We have to charge or we will go out of business,” Bradley reportedly said at a Rotary Club meeting in Kihei about six weeks ago, according to the Maui Weekly story (the West Virginia-based Ogden Newspaper Group owns both The Maui News and the Maui Weekly).

This is the first time anyone anywhere on the island has said anything about Maui’s sole daily paper charging for online stories and content (which, like many papers, has been offered to readers for free for the last 15 or so years). Reached by phone, Bradley told me the paper is still working on the plan.

“Ours will be like the [Honolulu] Star-Advertiser’s,” he said. “It will not be metered. Most of our local stories will be behind the paywall.”

Bradley said the paywall idea originated at The Maui News, and they would be the first paper in the Ogden chain to institute one. What’s more, he said he believed The Maui News was the last daily paper in Hawaii without an online paywall. Bradley added that he’s still not sure when the paywall will go up, but that it will roll-out simultaneously with an online “replica edition” as well as a Maui News tablet app.

Paywalls are an increasingly popular but still controversial method for daily newspapers large and small to deal with declining advertiser dollars, circulation and basically the entire business model

that has sheltered them for more than a century. For many decades, people paid for newspapers for a variety of reasons–to read horoscopes, check classified advertisements, peruse television listings, read movie reviews and even find out what what was happening at last night’s city council hearing. All of that was bundled into one convenient package dropped every morning on your front porch (or, more often, in your planter box or on your roof).

People paid a subscription price that, ostensibly, covered all that but in reality paid for little more than distribution. Advertisements paid the rest.

All of that information is now found–for free–in various locations online. In the early years of newspaper websites (we’re thinking the mid-1990s), papers offered their stories to web surfers for free to generate traffic. But now, with the advertiser model in freefall, papers are experimenting with charging people to read stories.

Some paywalls are metered and relatively porous, like The New York Times (indeed, they can be fooled by a simple browser cache clearing). Others, like the Wall Street Journal, have long held their stories behind subscriber paywalls.

What’s more, papers with paywalls sometimes send mixed signals to their readers. During times of great calamity (like Hurricane Sandy or the recent Boston Marathon bombings), papers will often disable their paywalls, allow everyone free, temporary access to their stories. This is a backwards situation in which papers charge consumers for regular, mediocre news but hand over truly vital news for free.

In any case, Bradley said his plan is for a hard paywalls.

“We’ve looked at the Star-Advertiser,” Bradley said. “And their print circulation actually went up after they put up the paywall, so I guess they’re doing something right.”

Indeed, paywalls can boost a paper’s print circulation. For the Star-Advertiser, which instituted a paywall in August 2011, average weekday print circ jumped 26.3 percent, according to Audit Bureau of Circulation (ABC) figures for the six

What a drag

News circulation dropped 9 million/ month after it instituted a paywall,” wrote Dana Blankenhorn. “The Memphis Commercial Appeal saw a 30% decrease in traffic to get 1,000 paywall subscribers.

Overheard FIRST WOMAN: “He didn’t know what monogamy meant?”

SECOND WOMAN: “Yeah, he didn’t have a very good vocabulary.”

In even funnier media news, the play Fresher Ahi absolutely rocks. Put on by Maui Academy of Performing Arts, the play stars writers/actors Francis Tau‘a and Derek Nakagawa as well as radio personality/columnist Kathy Collins.

The play is the sequel to last year’s Lesser Ahi, but it easily stands on its own. It’s hilarious, somewhat jarring at times (each actor plays multiple, often gender-bending roles) and very local. But it’s also sharply written and deftly acted. It’s a great example of just how entertaining local writers and artists can get.

I was lucky to see the show this weekend at a sold-out performance, but the play’s been held over through May 4, so you still have time to see it this weekend. Call 808-244-8760 or visit Mauiacademy.org for more info.■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

-Safeway in Kihei, April 28 For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MAY 2, 2013

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News & Views

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

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A University of Kansas professor and two co-authors, in research for a forthcoming issue of the Journal of Finance, found that children age 10 and under substantially outperformed their parents in earnings from stock trading in the few days before and after rumors swirled on possible corporate mergers. A likely explanation, they said, is that the parents or guardians were buying and selling for their children’s accounts using illegal insider information that they were cautious about using in their personal accounts, which would more easily arouse suspicion. While the parents’ accounts had nice returns, the kids’ accounts (including those held by the very recently born) were almost 50 percent more profitable. (The study, reported by NPR in April, covered 15 years of trades in Finland, chosen because that country collects age data that the U.S. and other countries do not.)

DELICATE MARKETING REQUIRED A fluoride-free chocolate toothpaste “proven” to strengthen teeth and regenerate enamel is now on sale in limited markets in the U.S. Theodent (active ingredient: “rennou”) is also available in mint flavor, said its New Orleans-based inventor, Dr. Tetsuo Nakamoto. And one of the 12 Canadian foods chosen to accompany the country’s International Space Station astronaut in December is the limited-issue dry cereal especially noted for its fiber, organic buckwheat and various nontraditional ingredients. “Holy Crap” cereal is available throughout Canada and in 19 other countries.

FRONTIERS OF SCIENCE Since gastrointestinal noroviruses are so infectious and can be fatal in countries with marginal hygiene, scientists at the U.K. government’s Health and Safety Lab in Derbyshire needed to study the “reach and dispersion” of human “vomitus,” especially its aerosolizing. Working with nauseous patients would be impractical, and thus, researcher Catherine Makison created “Vomiting Larry,” a puke-hurling robot with a

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MAY 2, 2013

range of almost 10 feet. (According to a University of Cambridge researcher, one can be infected by fewer than 20 norovirus particles, each droplet of puke can contain 2 million particles, and the virus remains active on hard surfaces for 12 hours.)

THE DARK SIDE Even though human hearts open warmly to helpless animals, kindness is not universal. As Clemson University animal conservation student Nathan Weaver found with a quick experiment late last year, some drivers will deliberately swerve into a turtle trying to cross a busy road–seven drivers, he found, in the space of one hour (though most drivers easily avoided the realistic rubber model). (In the 1979 movie The Great Santini, an overbearing fighter-pilothusband who squishes turtles while driving late at night tells his wife, “It’s my only sport when I’m traveling, my only hobby.”)

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS Wealthy Russians have recently found a way around the country’s horrid traffic jams: fake ambulances, outfitted with plush interiors for relaxation while specially trained drivers use unauthorized lights and sirens to maneuver through cluttered streets. London’s Daily Telegraph reported in March that “ambulance” companies charge the equivalent of about $200 an hour for these taxis.

PERSPECTIVE After a trial on fraud charges, the Iranian judiciary sentenced four bankers and their collaborators to death in February and several others to public floggings for obtaining loans by forgery in order to purchase government properties. The total amount involved reportedly was the equivalent of about $2.6 billion–tiny compared to losses suffered since 2008 by investors and customers of large American banks’ illegality, money-laundering and corner-cutting, for which no one has yet been jailed even for a single day. ■

Paia Mercantile Lahaina Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

I

’d like to send a big mahalo to the guy who returned my wallet to me at Mana Foods. Not only did you navigate the chaos of that store to track me down and hand me my wallet, but you left all the cash and my cell phone in it as well. I hope your random act of kindness is repaid to you ten-fold. You made my day and then some. Thank you! ■

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SUMMER CAMP GUIDE

By Jen Russo one are the dog days of summer where our island children run amuck in the hot and dusty streets, walking to the beach with boogie boards or riding their bikes through town. Nowadays, summer means enrichment and extracurricular activities allowing youth to absorb rays of sunshine while sharpening their creative skills.

Not surprisingly, many of our island’s summer camps are dedicated to honing sports during the summer. Rudy Huber coaches Track and Field Adventure camp in June at War Memorial Stadium to help young athletes increase their speed and agility. Tennis training at the courts in Kalama for kids four to 17 is taught by Barb Wallace and Tricia Wilstead. At Aloha Volleyball, Scottie Zucco has been teaching beach basketball at the sand courts in Kanaha for eight years (he also coaches at Seabury Hall and King Kekaulike).

“Always talk to the instructors to find out their philosophy,” says Zucco. “If the kids don’t like the people involved, they rarely like the activity. Make sure the kids are interacting with positive people and you can’t go wrong.”

At Valley Isle Gymnastics, the young men’s competitive team gymnasts work as assistant coaches for their summer camps. Both Austin Cablay, 15, (pictured above) and Jonathan You, 14, represented Hawaii in the Regional Championships in Reno in April and plan to teach this summer in the gym.

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MAY 2, 2013

“Teaching helps my own gymnastic skills because I see stuff that I can improve,” says Cablay, who placed 3rd on floor, 4th on rings, 6th on vault and 5th on high bar in the Level 5 Division at State Championships.

“I am teaching myself as I teach.”

You says he was a rascal when he first started at Valley Isle at age seven, but he kept at it. Now he is the only Level 8 gymnast in the state. “It’s really fun to help the kids,” he says.

“I tell them to just keep trying, that’s how I got to competition.You just have to try.”

Drama and dance are also great ways for the island’s youth to spend their summer.

Theatre Theatre Maui has created a six-week drama camp in West Maui that culminates in an end of summer production at the Westin Maui. This year’s show, The Little Mermaid, Jr, will be directed by Kristi Scott and should be a hit after 2012’s popular Wizard of Oz. In South Maui, your little drama kings and queens can try Kamp Krazy Tales, which is a combined drama and music camp.

“Students learn fun, drama games, learn crazy scripts and build crafty costumes and and props,” says Jonathan Lehman, the artistic director for Kamp Krazy Tales. “Kim Vetterli is an exceptional musical director and children’s instructor, bringing her experience as a musical director, vocal coach and musician.”

Art instruction through the summer is another popular outlet for kids. The Maui Youth Art Outreach taught by Lahaina Arts Association has weekly no-cost art classes.

At the Hui Noeau, art-intensive camps run

all summer and include classes for teens like their T-shirt boot camp and aerosol mural, as well as kid camps that run weekly.

“Learning how to create will impact a child at every stage of their lives,” says Kelly McHugh,Youth Programs Director. “Making art begins with an idea–a story–an image. As you learn more about the various artistic tools at your hands you discover which of these tools will offer the key to unlocking that image for all to see (not just your own imagination).”

Body movement can also unlock the mind. Classes and camps at Alexander Dance Academy, Maui Yoga Shala and Maui Academy of Performing Arts (MAPA) all offer creative dance instruction. “Dance builds confidence and leadership,” says Danelle Watson, the Director at Alexander. “Children have loads of energy and excitement towards life. It’s an exciting process to guide them to discover something new and witnessing their aha moments of firsts.”

Our ocean offers lots of activity for the summer, and not just lounging on the sand.

Discover Windsurfing Camps has threeday windsurfing instruction all summer at Kanaha for ages eight to 14. Pacific Whale Foundation has their Ocean Camp that exposes kids to marine biology and ocean environments. And Maui Surfer Girls has overnight and day surf camps for teen girls.

“It’s fun to teach kids, they learn quickly,” says Patty Cadiz of HST Windsurfing Camps.

“Windsuring is a lifetime healthy sport.”

Of course, some kids focus on brainpower

for the summer. The Hawaii State Library is looking for plenty of bookworms to join their “Dig into Reading” promotion that gives rewards for kids who read at least one book per week. WooHawaii Tutoring and Learning Center of Maui both provide summer learning to jump start the new school year or SAT prep.

“Multiple studies have proven beyond a doubt that children who read during the summer perform better when they return to school in the fall, score higher to standardized test and are more active and engaged in the classroom,” says Glenda Berry, the Makawao Public Library branch manager.

For special needs kids, Imua Family Services plans a weeklong overnight camp that runs June 8-13 called Camp Imua. The camp accepts children two to 20 with various special needs but also recruits more than 250 volunteers, ages 15 and up.

“Camp Imua is the only camp of its kind in the state,” says Camp Imua Coordinator Maile John. “It provides a unique and positive camping experience for children with special needs and also a meaningful volunteer experience for teens. The week is also a respite for parents of children with special needs.”

The State of Hawaii Department of Education school year ends on May 24, and starts back up again on Aug. 5. No matter what your keiki do this summer have fun and be safe.

Check our listings in this issue to find information on keiki summer activities.

For more extensive information, visit Mauitime.com/summerfun. ■

R SUMME CAMP

LISTINGS

ACADEMIC - Single and multiple day classes offered May 4-July 13. Kids will be able to take fun and exciting courses teaching them skills in math, robotics, chemistry, unicycling, cooking, and taking notes.

Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. Grades 2nd-12th.

University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808984-3231; edventuremaui.com EDVENTURE: COLLEGE FOR KIDS

CHILDREN’S SUMMER READING PROGRAM: DIG INTO READING - Daily. June

2-July 26. Hawaii State Public Libraries invite all children to participate in “Dig Into Reading”, a free five week Summer Reading Program that will encourage young readers to focus on underground subjects (gardening, fossils). Children are encouraged to visit their local library and read one book each week, and be rewarded with a free reading incentive (while supplies last). As well, participants will get a free gardening kit to allow an interactive reading experience. There will be many excellent, family friendly storytelling performances statewide by local and mainland artists. Your public library. Librarieshawaii.org LEARNING CENTER OF MAUI SUMMER TUTORING - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Thu.

Starting June 3. The Learning Center will have morning and afternoon tutoring sessions available for all school age children.

In this concentrated academic program, students can receive instruction in reading, writing, math, school entrance exams, and SAT/PSAT preparation. The Learning Center of Maui, (33 Lono Ave., Kahului); 808873-6217; thelearningcenterofmaui.org

MER PREP COURSE - Mon-Fri. June 3-July 11. Students enrolled in this four-week intensive PSAT/SAT/ACT preparation course will receive skill building technique instruction and complete practice tests. Using the lolani method, instructors Karen Yoshina and Mel Mukai will help students improve their critical reading, writing, and mathematics. Registration is due May 24th. $400. 8:30-11:30am. St. Anthony Junior-Senior High School, (1618 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808244-4190; sasmaui.org

Mon-Fri. May 27-Aug 2. Many Summer Programs will be offered to allow students to reinforce last years classes, prepare for the upcoming year, SAT/PSAT test

WOOHAWAII SUMMER PROGRAMS

prep, and general tutoring. Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition.

WooHawaii, (95 E. Lipoa St., Suite A203, Kihei); 808-344-8468; woohawaii.com; info@woohawaii.com

ART, DRAMA, THEATER ALEXANDER SUMMER DANCE PROGRAMS - Mon-Fri. June 17-July 12. Young

dancers will develop their dance skills through ballet, creative movement, tumbling, jazz, storytelling, crafts, and dance games. Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. Alexander Dance Academy, (8811 Kula Hwy, Kula); 808878-8970; alexanderacademy.vpweb.com;

dance@alexanderacademy.vpweb.com ALEXANDER SUMMER DANCE INTENSIVES - Mon-Fri. June 3-14. Two

week-long sessions will be offered for dancers to improve their skills in ballet, modern, partnering, jazz, improv, and pointe. Divided by skill level. Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. Alexander Dance Academy, (8811 Kula Hwy, Kula); 808-878-8970; alexanderacademy.vpweb.com; dance@ alexanderacademy.vpweb.com HUI NO’EAU SPECIALTY CAMPS - June 1-Sept 17. Hui No’eau will be offering fun and varied courses for keiki & teens. Camps offered will allow students to learn about: pottery, aerosol art, photography,

Continued on page 10

TUTORING Affordable, Academic Summer Programs MAY 27TH - AUGUST 2ND • 9 A.M. - 5 P.M.

SEABURY SUMMER SCHOOL PROGRAMS: Mon-Fri. June 10-July 12. This

year Seabury will be offering summer school programs for 9th and 10th grade students wishing to improve writing and math, as well as various fun and interesting full summer schedules for younger students. Grades 1-10. Check online or call for dates, times, and tuition. Seabury Hall, (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808572-7235; seaburyhall.org/summer.

Call now or visit our website for more information

ST. ANTHONY’S SUMMER SCHOOL PROGRAM - Mon-Fri. June 3-June

27.

Students wanting to gain school credit during the Summer months can do so at St. Anthony’s Junior-Senior High School.

Courses offered: Logic and Reasoning/Algebraic Topics, Algebra 1A/1B, Algebra 2, Geometry A/B, Algebra 2A/2B English 9-12, Physical Education Lifetime Fitness, Body Conditioning Lifetime Activities, Art 2D, Introduction to Art 3D. All classes meet State of Hawaii academic requirements. $400/one credit, $225/half credit. 8am-12:30pm.

St. Anthony Junior-Senior High School, (1618 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-2444190; sasmaui.org ST. ANTHONY’S SAT/PSAT/ACT SUM-

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LISTINGS

Continued from page 9 and silkscreening. Check online or call for dates, times, and tuition. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; huinoeau.com

- Mon-Fri. June 3-July 26. Hui No’eau’s Camp Kaluanui program offers a diverse art curriculum geared to stretch minds, exercise imaginations, and introduce new idea-generating techniques. Campers paint, build, design, dance, sing, and play. Ages 5+. 5 day fee: $215 (member), $269 (potential member), $35 supply fee. Single Day Fee: $70 (member), $88 (potential member), $7 supply fee. 9-4pm. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; huinoeau.com

HUI NO’EAU CAMP KALUANUI

MAUI ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS SUMMER CAMPS & CLASSES - Mon-Fri.

May 28-July 26. MAPA will be providing many different sessions and styles of camps throughout summer to accommodate everyone aged 3 years to adult who want to learn and improve in all different forms of dance, theatre, and song. Check online or call for dates, times, and tuition. MAPA, (81 N. Church St., Wailuku); 808-244-8760; mauiacademy.org MAUI YOUTH ART OUTREACH PROGRAM

- Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Thu. June 3-July 25. The Maui Youth Art Outreach Program provides weekly, no-cost children’s art classes to the Maui community. Summer classes take place in housing community centers and youth centers across the island. Free. 808-661-0111; lahaina-arts.org; info@lahaina-arts.org - MonFri. Presenting the third year of Kamp Krazy Tales, ProArts is proud to announce two camps this summer: May 27-31 and June 3-7. Led by instructors Kristi Scott and Kim Vetterli, students learn fun drama games, learn krazy scripts, and build krafty costumes and props. The Kamp culminates with a performance for parents and friends of several musical fractured tales which have been rehearsed all week. Ages 5 12 years. $150 per week. 9am-12pm.

ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; proartspacific.com; admin@proartspacific.com

PROARTS KAMP KRAZY TALES

THEATRE THEATRE MAUI: LITTLE MERMAID, JR. - Mon-Fri. June 10-July 21.

Enrollment is now open for TTM’s 21st annual summer youth program that features the Disney musical, The Little Mermaid, Jr., lead by returning Program Director, Kristi Scott. Entering Grades 4-12. $390 per student (Early bird discount rate of $375 before May 20). Financial aid may be available. The Sacred Hearts School, (239 Dickenson St., Lahaina); 808-661-1168; ttmwestmaui@aol.com

10 MAY 2, 2013

Photo courtesy Pacific Whale Foundation

ENRICHMENT AKL KIDS DAY OUT OR FAMILIES DAY OUT

- May 27-July 30. Call or check online for dates. AKL’s Kids Day Out is a fun and interactive way to enjoy Summer Break!

The event includes fun activities like mini-bouquet making, potting lavender and more! Refreshing Lavender Lemonade and delicious Lavender Shortbread Cookies provided for all participants. Advance reservations required. Children 9 and under must be accompanied by an adult. $3 General Admission, $10 for activity. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, (1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-878-3004; aklreservations@ aklmaui.com; aklmaui.com.

HAWAIIAN CANOE CLUB’S KAMALI’I SUMMER ENRICHMENT PROGRAM - Mon-Fri.

June 3-July 21. Keiki 10-13 years old can attend this free program and learn lessons in Hawaiian culture, arts, games, food preparation, religion, navigation, oli (chants) and hula. Free (fees apply for offisland excursions). 1-4pm. Ho’aloha Park, Kahului Harbor (yellow and red canoe hale), (1 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-893-2124; Hawaiiancanoeclub.org KAMA’AINA KIDS CAMP - Mon-Fri. May 28-July 19. Campers will have a blast making new friends, developing new skills, and creating memories to last a lifetime!

Participants will enjoy Creative Crafts, Physical Fitness, Team-Building, weekly excursions and more! Grades K-5. $870 for entire summer package (8 weeks), weekly rate available. Wailuku Elementary School, (355 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-269-8266 or 808-984-5632; kamaainakids.com LITTLE EXPLORERS MAUI SUMMER PROGRAM - Mon-Fri. June 3-July 26. Little

Explorers Maui Summer program is for keiki 2-6 years, and allows them to use all five senses in activities designed to let them discover and explore. Keiki get to spend time indoors and out, making new friends while learning basic skills in writing, colors, and shapes. Flexible scheduling, call for rates. Little Explorers, (1050 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808244-2112; littleexplorersmaui.com; littleexplorersmaui@gmail.com MAKANI OLU RANCH HORSEMANSHIP CAMP - Daily. May 27-July 26. Through-

out summer Makani Olu Ranch offers four day and one day group horsemanship camps. By developing skills in horsemanship, campers build confidence and independence. The program will

Track and Field ADVENTURE CAMP cover approaching, anatomy, saddling, bridling, and exploring the gaits of a horse. $300 for four day camps, $150 for one day camps. 9am-3pm. Makani Olu Ranch, (363 W. Waiko Rd., Wailuku); 808-870-0633; makanioluranch. com; yodneal@makanioluranch.com MAUI HUMANE SOCIETY SUMMER DAY CAMPS - Mon-Fri. June 3-July

19.

Campers will enjoy an educational week long day camp, with each day filled with games, crafts, activities, guest speakers, and time with the animals! There are five sessions for grades 2-5, and one session for grades 5-8. $145 per week, $45 daily rate when space is available.

8am-2pm. Maui Humane Society, (1350 Meha Meha Loop, Pu‘unene); 808-8773680; mauihumanesociety.org; education@mauihumanesociety.org

Mon-Fri. June 10-July 19. Campers get to experience fun filled days of outdoor immersion playing with friends, exploring nature and art, story, and rest. Camp takes place at the beautiful Montessori School of Maui in Makawao. Campers may register for the full summer program or, space permitting, individual week sessions.

Ages 3-6 years. $1,200 (full program), $250 (weekly). 8am-3pm. Montessori of Maui, (2933 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-573-0374; momi.org

MONTESSORI SUMMER DAY CAMP

NO KA OI HORSEMANSHIP SUMMER DAY PROGRAMS - Mon-Fri. May 27-Aug

2. Camps include an equitation lesson each day, snacks, games, animal husbandry, gardening and a whole lot more!

Sessions available for kids and adults of Continued on page 12

June 3rd-14th (Monday thru Friday) 8am-3pm The Track & Field Adventure Camp is in it’s 14th year.

The camp is for kids ages 7-18 and for beginners to advanced levels. The camp covers basic running, jumping and throwing skills. As athletes make progress, they will use skills in competition form at 3 different track and field meets held at War Memorial Stadium in Kahului. The camp is also for athletes wanting to increase speed and agility for sport.

In the afternoon, athletes will have a chance to enjoy the rest of their day by doing beach activities, Iao Valley swim, Twin Falls, movie day Friday and more.

It’s a fun ending to a productive day.

Cost: $200 per week or $375 for both weeks (fee includes instruction, snacks & transportation to select afternoon venues)

For more information, call Rudy at: 280-5801 or huber_rudy@yahoo.com

13th Annual

Summer Surf Camp for Teen Girls

LOBSTER NIGHT

Empowering girls from Maui & around the world through the sport of surfing & adventure!

$16.95 Live Kona Lobsters

Check out our Overnight & Day Surf Camps throughout July!

Year Around C0-Ed Surf Lessons fo Kama’aina & Visitors of all ages and abilities.

Every Wednesday Night *with additional purchase

Best Champagne Brunch on the Island Serving 8am-2pm Every Saturday & Sunday

Happy Hour • $2 Margaritas 2-5pm & 9-11pm • 7 Days a week

12oz. Prime Rib • $19.95 Saturdays • All Natural Hawaiian Beef

505 Front Street 808.662.0300 bettysbeachcafe.com facebook.com/bettysbeachcafe

Maui Surfer Girls has partnered with the Will Smith Foundation to provide scholarships for deserving Kama’aina girls.

Support our Fundraiser at Flatbread on July 2nd!

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT:

dustin@mauisurfgirls.com

808.280.8165

BOOK A SURF LESSON WITH MSG AT:

808.214.0606 BE A FAN of msg at: Facebook.com/mauisurfergirls LEARN MORE about our camps and surf lessons at:

www.mauisurfergirls.com

MAY 2, 2013

11

R SUMME CAMP

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LISTINGS

Continued from page 11 all ages! Entire Summer: $1,500. 5 Day Camps: $325. Single Days: $74. 9am-3pm.

No Ka Oi Horsemanship, (L. Kula Rd.); 808-214-2233; nokaoihorsemanship.com PAIA YOUTH AND CULTURAL CENTER SUMMER PROGRAM - Tue-Sat. Drop-in

and discover the PYCC, North Shore Maui’s home for body-boarding, skating, media production, radio broadcasting, digital photography, cooking and more! We offer innovative life skills programs, outdoor adventures, and activities for ages 9-18.

Membership is free. Check online, call, or email for times. Paia Youth & Cultural Center, (Paia Bay, Hana Hwy.); 808-579-8354; pyccmaui.org; hekili@pyccmaui.org PACIFIC WHALE FOUNDATION SUMMER OCEAN CAMPS - Mon-Fri. May 29-July

26. Pacific Whale Foundation provides nine Summer Ocean Camps in which keiki can explore themes relating to the ocean and Maui’s unique environment.

Camps include: Plunging Below - Life in the Deep, The Rainforest in Our Backyard, Toothy Smiles - Dolphins/Toothed Whales, World Travelers - Whales and Wings, The Spiny and Spineless, Rays - Kites of the Sea, Ocean Explorers Jump In, Turtle Tricks, and Sharks Rule! Campers may enroll for individual or multiple days. Grades k-5.

Register by May 14th and pay just $67 a day ($50 a day for members). After May 14th $72 a day ($55 for members). Last minute registration is $77 a day ($61 for members). 8am-4pm. Pacific Whale Foundation, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808249-8977; pacificwhale.org PI‘IHOLO RANCH SUMMER RIDING CLASSES - Daily. May 27-July 26.

Pi‘iholo Ranch offers year round riding classes for ages 3 years and older. Private and group classes are available, and divided by age and/or skill level. Classes start at $45 an hour, and varies depending on class size, skill level, and age.

Pi’iholo Ranch, (1156 Makawao Ave.); 808-357-1755; piiholo.com - Mon-Fri. June 24-July 12. Roots School Maui will be offering three amazing day camps for campers ages 5-12. Explore Summer with Art Across the Globe, Summer Time Gardening, or Martial & Visual Arts.

Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. Roots Maui, (740 Haiku Rd.); 808-250-7988; rootsmaui. com; rootsmaui@hotmail.com

ROOTS MAUI DAY CAMPS

YMCA SPECIALTY DAY CAMPS - Mon-Fri. May 28-July 26. Specialty day camps will be offered including: archery, basketball, soccer, swimming, cooking, and fitness. Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. Ages 4-13.

University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-9843231; edventuremaui.com

- Mon-Fri. May 28-July 26. Kids have fun while learning how to make new friends,

YMCA SUMMER DAY CAMPS

12

MAY 2, 2013

develop new skills, and build self-confidence. Ages 4-13 years. Summer sessions also available at Camp Nalu in Kihei. $75 for members, $150 for potential members. 7:30-5:30pm. Camp Moana at YMCA, (250 Kanaloa Ave, Kahului); 808242-9007; mauiymca.org

Photo courtesy Pacific Whale Foundation

SPORTS ALOHA VOLLEYBALL SUMMER CAMPS

- Mon-Fri. June 4-July 26. Beginners to advanced competition level volleyball players will get instruction that caters to their age and level of play. Check online or call for dates, times, and tuition. Aloha Volleyball, (Kanaha Beach Park, Kahului); 808-2989623; alohavolleyball.com - Mon-Fri. June 17-July 19. AYSO will be providing many soccer camps in Kihei, Lahaina, Pukalani and Kahului. Ages 4-16 years. Check online or call for dates, times and tuition. 800872-2976 (USA National Office); ayso.org

AYSO SOCCER CAMPS

BASKETBALLMAUI/NBC INTENSITY CAMP

- Mon-Fri. June 10-14. Intensity Camp is a competitive program designed for advanced high school athletes who are ready to take their game to the next level. Players will work with world class trainers on position specific training, life skills development, and discussion groups. Call or email for more information and times. basketballMAUI, 808-866-6996; Basketballmaui. com; info@basketballmaui.com BASKETBALLMAUI/NBC COMPLETE PLAYER BASKETBALL CAMP - Mon-Fri. June

10-14. The Complete Player Camp is a 5 day basketball camp designed for boys and girls from beginners to advanced. Players will get to participate in intensity hour, tournaments, and skill training based on age and skill level.

As well, players will get a ticket to Night of Shooting Stars on June 15th where they can watch celebrities and NBA athletes play.

Ages 7-18. $145 per week if registered by May 15th, $195 after May 15th. Scholarships are available. 9am-3pm. BasketballMAUI, (The Lahaina Civic Center and Kamehameha School); 808-866-6996; Basketballmaui. com; info@basketballmaui.com HAWAII ELITE TRACK TEAM: TRACK & FIELD ADVENTURE CAMP - Mon-Fri.

June 3rd-June 14th.Track & Field Adventure Camp will cover basic running, jumping, and throwing skills. This camp is offered in two sessions, June 3-7 and June 10-14. As athletes progress they will use skills in competition at Continued on page 14

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Continued from page 12 three different track meets. In the afternoon, athletes will enjoy going to the beach, Twin Falls, and Iao Valley. For ages 7-18, beginner to advanced levels. $200 for one week, $375 for both. 8am-3pm. War Memorial Staduim (700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku); 808-280-5801; hawaiielitetrack.com HOPE CHAPEL: OFF THE BENCH SPORTS CAMP - Mon-Fri. June 17-July 6. Hope

Chapel offers a week long day camp loaded with quality sports instruction, Bible teaching, fun music, and great memories! Basketball, cheerleading, soccer, football, and Team 45. 4-12 years. Check online or call for age groups. 9am-12:15pm. $45. Hope Chapel, (300 E. Welakahao St., Kihei); 808879-3853 ext. 254; hopechapelmaui.com HST WINDSURFING 3 DAY SUMMER CAMPS - Mon-Sat. June 1-Aug 31. Learn

how to cruise the waves! Choose any 3 days to qualify for the HST 3 Day Summer Camp rates!

For beginners and advanced beginners, 8-14 years. $195. 9-11:30am Kanaha Beach Park; 808-871-5423; info@hstwindsurfing.com LEARN TO SWIM WITH SWIM PRO JANET

- Mon, Tue, Wed, & Thu. June 3-Aug 15. Swim pro Janet Renner will be offering 1-week & 3-week programs for beginning to intermediate swimmers. Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. 808-280-2756; swimprojanet.com; janet@swimprojanet.com.

MAUI SPORTS UNLIMITED 3 DAY WATERSPORT CAMPS - Mon-Fri. June 3-Aug 30.

Want to surf, windsurf, or kiteboard? Learn the basics and expand upon you skills to master your water sport of choice! Check online, call, or email for dates, times, and tuition. Kihei and North Shore; 808-2807060; mauisportsunlimited.com; info@ mauisportsunlimited.com

Wed & Fri. May 29-July 26. Want to learn to play tennis or expand your skills for competition? Come drop in to the South Maui Tennis high energy classes that include fitness games, drills, and playing skills. No need to register, just show up! Ages 4-17. Check online, call, or email for dates and times. $5 per class. Kalama Park, Kihei; 808-250-3656; Courtsideuse.com VALLEY ISLE GYMNASTICS DAY CAMPS

- Mon-Fri. May 27-July 31. Boys and girls, members and non members are all invited to participate in Valley Isle Gymnastics Day Camps. Campers may enroll from 9am-noon and/or noon-3pm. Experience an hour and a half of formal instruction, half an hour for BYO snack, and an hour of supervised open gym. For an additional fee campers can sign up for early drop off and late pick up. Reservations required and now open online. $35 per 3 hour session, $75 per 6 hour session. $5 Early drop off. $5 Late pick up. Valley Isle Gymnastics, (250 Alamaha St., Kahului); 808-871-6116; valleyislegymnastics.com VALLEY ISLE SOCCER ACADEMY YOUTH CAMP - Mon-Fri. June 3-7.Come learn the

fundamentals and further your skills with four NCAA Division 1 College Coaches. Groups will be split into four training groups based on age and ability. Ages 8-13. $200. 9-11am Eddie Tam Memorial Park, (931 Makawao Ave.); 808-866-7899; valleyislesoccer.com VALLEY ISLE SOCCER ACADEMY COLLEGE PREP CAMP - Mon-Fri. June 3-7.

Players will be coached according to the tactical and strategic principals of four NCAA Division 1 College Coaches. Players will be exposed to the intensity and rigor of collegelevel training and play in a full sided exhibition game the last day of camp. Freshmen to Seniors welcome! $250. 11:30am-2pm. Eddie Tam Memorial Park, (931 Makawao Ave.); 808-866-7899; Valleyislesoccer.com

MAUI SURFER GIRLS OVERNIGHT CAMPS

- Daily. July 8-28. If you’re looking for a surf camp offering more than just surf lessons, sign up for Maui Surfer Girls overnight camps! Girls will have lessons with qualified instructors, fuel themselves with healthy grinds, and spend afternoons & evenings with the choice of tons of great activities including: hiking, paddle boarding, ziplines, snorkeling, spa night, talent shows, and guest speakers. Day camps and scholarships available. Ages 12-17. $1,950 session one, $3,300 session two, $4,500 session three.

808-280-8165; mauisurfergirls.com SEABURY HALL SUMMER SOCCER CAMP

- Mon-Fri. June 4-8.The Seabury Hall Soccer Camp kicks off its 34th year of providing Maui’s youth quality training in soccer fundamentals.

The camp develops a full range of technical skills, from passing and dribbling to finishing.

Tactical training and skill reinforcement are emphasized during games played in the afternoon sessions. Ages 6-15 years. $200 per child, $350 per family of two (register early for discount).

8:30am-4pm. Seabury Hall Soccer Fields, (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-572-7235; seaburyhall.org; soccercamp@seaburyhall.org SOUTH MAUI TENNIS CLASSES

14 MAY 2, 2013

- Every

Photo by Makena Gadient

SPECIAL NEEDS CAMP IMUA - Sun-Fri. June 9-14. Founded in 1976, Camp Imua is a free overnight summer camp for 50 Maui County children with various special needs. At Camp Imua, each activity is catered to each child’s special need. Camp Imua is the only camp of its kind in the state of Hawaii. Call or email for more information. Imua Family Services, (95 Mahalani St., Suite 19A, Wailuku); 808-244-7467; imuafamilyservices.com; mjohn@imuafamilyservices.com ■

For more extensive listings go to: mauitime.com/summerfun

Best Of Maui Awards Ballot It’s that time again Time to cast your votes for our annual BEST OF MAUI. Usually, this ballot is decked out with whatever theme we’ve chosen. But this year, we’ve come up with another theme so cool, we want to keep it under wraps. Seriously, you’re gonna really dig it.

As usual, categories are organized into five sections: arts & entertainment; food & drink; goods & services; politics & environment; and sports & leisure. We’ve added some new categories this year to spice things up, but you’ll still find all the old standbys. Please VOTE IN AT LEAST 40 CATEGORIES if you want your ballot to be counted. Voting ends May 31.

You may also notice these convenient little QR codes throughout the ballot that you can scan with your smart phone at any time to take you to our online ballot.

Best of f Maui

2013

A FEW NOTES ABOUT BALLOT STUFFING: While most people play it straight, every year a few nefarious folks attempt to stuff the ballot box. To cut down on this, and to ensure the results are fair and accurate, here are a few rules:

★ ONLY ONE (1) BALLOT PER PERSON ★ ALL BALLOTS MUST BE SIGNED ★ NO PHOTOCOPIED BALLOTS WILL BE ACCEPTED

★ MULTIPLE BALLOTS IN THE SAME HANDWRITING WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED

★ BALLOTS MUST BE MAILED IN; NO MORE THAN THREE (3) BALLOTS PER ENVELOPE. ENVELOPES MUST HAVE A RETURN ADDRESS

★ EACH ONLINE BALLOT MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY A VALID E-MAIL ADDRESS Any ballots that violate these rules—or that sufficiently rouse our suspicion— will not be tallied. We hope it isn’t necessary, but if anyone does attempt to unfairly sway the outcome, we reserve the right to create a Best Ballot Stuffer category. This is not something you want to win—trust us.

YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT! NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains.

VOTE ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM OR YOU MAY MAIL YOUR BALLOT TO: 33 N. Market St., Suite 201, Wailuku, HI 96793

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SWIMMING BEACH: BARBECUING BEACH: PUBLIC POOL: SNORKELING SPOT: ACTIVITY COMPANY: HIKE: LOCALS’ BEACH: LOCAL AMATEUR SURFER: LOCAL GROM: YOGA TEACHER: GYM: SCHOLASTIC ATHLETE: LOCAL COACH: COUNTY PARK: YOGA STUDIO: HIGH SCHOOL SPIRIT: PLAYGROUND: SPA: CHILDREN’S ACTIVITY: PLACE TO BUY KITESURF GEAR: **YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT!** NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains.

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SALON

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MAY 2, 2013

17

GOODS & SERVICES ADULT GIFT SHOP: LOCAL BOUTIQUE: SALON: HARDWARE STORE: TATTOO SHOP: CONSIGNMENT STORE: BOOKSTORE: PLACE TO GET WAXED: LOCAL SURF SHOP: SWIMWEAR SHOP: STAND-UP PADDLE BOARD SHOP: SCUBA/SNORKEL SHOP: LASER HAIR REMOVAL: UKULELE SHOP: HEAD SHOP: RECYCLING/REDEMPTION CENTER: AUTO MECHANIC: “GREEN” BUSINESS: LOCAL CLOTHING DESIGNER: PET SUPPLY STORE: HOTEL / ACCOMODATIONS: FURNITURE STORE: NEW BUSINESS: PRESCHOOL/DAYCARE: BRIDAL SHOP: BIKE SHOP: 2009, 2010, 2011 & 2012 BEST OF MAUI WINNER

‘BEST PADDLE BOARD SHOP’

2013 Summer Guide

£ IS ON THE WAY!

Hawaiian Island Surf & Sport 415 Dairy Road, Kahului • 871.4981

VOTE FOR US

As the season of sun dawns, we look at the events and activities that will make

summer sizzle

BEST NEW BUSINESS MOST BEAUTIFUL STORE ON THE ROCK!

Call today for space reservations and color specials!

DEADLINE: MAY 17TH PUBLISHES: MAY 23RD To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

18 MAY 2, 2013

98 N. Market St., Wailuku

242-5555

Corner of Market & Vineyard

POLITICS & ENVIRONMENT COUNTY OFFICIAL: POLITICAL ACTIVIST: COUNTY BLUNDER: STATE BLUNDER: ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUE: COMMUNITY NON-PROFIT: ENVIRONMENTAL NON-PROFIT: POLITICAL SCANDAL: SCARIEST PUBLIC FIGURE: TOWN TO LIVE: TOWN TO VISIT: *YOU MUST FILL IN THIS FORM BEFORE SENDING: NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: EMAIL: AGE: SIGNATURE: VOTE ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM OR YOU MAY MAIL YOUR BALLOT TO: 33 N. Market St., Suite 201, Wailuku, HI 96793

ZIP: SEX:

Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity

FRIDAY, MAY 3

THURSDAY, THU UR U RS SD DAY AY, MAY 2 NAS – Hip Hop and lyrical genius Nasir Bin Olu Dara Jones (aka Nas) got his start on the 1990s classic “Live at the Barbeque.” Then there was the debut of his explosive e album, Illmatic. Nas went on to reach platinum and double platinum reco records. Some of his recent work included a tour with Damian Marley for the imp impoverished in Africa. Ranked in the top 5 in MTV’s 2013 “Hottest MCs in the Ga Game” list, Nas’ 20-year career has earned him seven platinum albums, chart to toppers in Billboard and several Grammy nominations. $45/advance, $50/ o on show day, $65/VIP on Morgado Lanai overlooking the courtyard.

7 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Pavilion/Courtyard (One C Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org. Photo: MACC

THE REX NAVARRETE COMEDY SHOW – The MACC stage is welcoming Filipino-American comedian Rex Navarrete this Friday. Finding his calling shortly after enrolling in college, Navarrete has left audiences laughing all over Asia, North America and (soon, we figure) London.

Drawing much of his material from his heritage, Navarrete’s stand-up adds to America’s ever changing comedy scene. With bestsellers like Husky Boy and Badly Browned, Navarette has produced additional live DVDs and personally produced Bastos, his third record. $20-$40. 8pm.

Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Center, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: MACC

FRIDAY, MAY 3 W WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY – Wailuku First Friday is bringing you another episode of festivida ties. As usual, Market Street will be lined with tie food and craft vendors dishing out local treats. fo This Friday, there will be live music and Exotic Th Eye Tattoo Finger Friday specials. The town E party staples include the Beer Garden, along pa with Kamaaina Loan/Cash for Gold live w streaming the evening. The event is free and st fa family-friendly. 6pm-9pm. Wailuku (Market S Street), Mauifridays.com.

‘THE PRISONER OF SECOND AVE’ – This Friday, catch the e opening night of Neil Simon’s The Prisoner of Second Avenue by ProArts Theater. Produced by Jonathan Lehman, the play takes place on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It follows Mel Edison, a middle-aged business executive. Then a string of unfortunate events sends Edison into a mental breakdown. It’s serious and funny, and will likely resonate with you. The show runs until May 19 playing Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings at 7:30pm and Sundays at 3pm (no show on May 5). $20. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center (1280 S. Kihei Rd.) 808463-6550, Proartspacific.com. Photo: ProArts

FRIDAY, MAY 3 SATURDAY, APRIL 27 MAUI CLASSICAL MUSIC FESTIVAL – Originally known as the Kapalua Music Festival, The Maui Classical Music Festival has been home to hundreds of national and international classical elite. Now they’re welcoming back the renowned ensemble The Ying Quartet, pianist Elinor Freer, bassoonist Benjamin Kamins, Yizhak Schotten and Katherine Collier. The festival begins this Friday at Makawao Union Church and will tour other scenic and historic churches around the island. $10 student/ $25 adult. 7pm. Makawao Union Church. (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-878-2312, Mauiclassicalmusicfestival.org. Photo: Maui Classical Music Festival

CHINESE KITE FESTIVAL – The Lahaina Restoration Foundation is inviting everyone to the three-day, first annual Chinese Kite Festival. On Friday, guests can enjoy displays, kite-themed crafts and kung fu/ tai chi performances, among other activities (2pm-8pm). On Saturday, a musical Guzheng performance and interactive ribbon dance demonstration will take place between 1pm and 2:30pm.

And on Sunday, Brenda Wong will speak on the art of knot-tying between 2pm and 4pm. Food and kites of all sorts will be available for purchase. Friday (2pm8pm) Saturday and Sunday (11am-4pm) Wo Hing Museum 808-6613262, Lahainarestoration.org. Photo: Tholly/Wikimedia commons

SATURDAY, MAY 4

FRIDAY, MAY 3

MAUI ONION FESTIVAL – Come celebrate the sweetest onion in the world at the 24th annual Maui Onion Festival. The event continues to challenge chefs to use the vegetable in new and innovative ways. Featuring the Maui Onion Recipe contest, top chefs demonstrate their Maui Onion recipes exemplifying technique and creativity during a live cook-off. You can enjoy culinary samples, live music (on the beach stage), chef demos by past contest winners (center stage) and other local favorites. The annual Maui Onion keiki eating competition is at 3:30pm followed by the Maui Onion adult eating contest at 4pm. For those 21+, enjoy the mix drink contest at 2:30pm and festival beer garden. Participating merchants will also be offering Maui Onion specials.

FREE Admission. 9:45am. Whalers Village (2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy), Whalersvillage.com/onionfestival.htm. Photo: MauiTime

ANTHONY PIGNATARO BOOK SIGNING – MauiTime Editor Anthony Pignataro will be signing his latest book, Stealing Cars with The Pros this Friday, May 3 at the Maui Friends of the Library Bookstore in the Queen Ka’ahumanu Center. Stealing Cars with The Pros contains journalism excerpts from Pignataro’s career including his current gig at MauiTime. Described by the author as “noir-themed,” the book is complete with villains, chicks, rebels and wealthy men. Can’t make it to this book signing? On Saturday, May 4 from noon ‘til 2pm, Pignataro will be at Barnes & Noble, Lahaina. And on Friday, May 10 from 4pm to 6pm, he will be at Maui Friends of the Library Bookstore in Lahaina’s Wharf Cinema Center. 4pm7pm. Maui Friends of the Library Bookstore, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center (275 W. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-2509.

SATURDAY, MAY 4 PADDLE IMUA – Imua Family Services is gearing up for the second annual “Paddle Imua” fundraiser. The paddle race invites men, women and children to take part in a downwind run beginning at Maliko Gulch and ending at Hawaiian Canoe Club in Kahului. Not ready for the main event? There will be a SUP relay after the main races.

Champion stand-up-paddler and IFS supporter Andrea Moller will serve as this year’s honorary chairperson. Onlookers can enjoy live music and refreshments. The first 150 registrants will receive a swag bag and the top three finishers will receive trophies. The event proceeds directly benefit the organizations’ annual Camp Imua, a free week-long recreational summer camp serving special needs keiki. $50 before May 2nd/ $70 after. 10am. Maliko Gulch (Paia) Paddleimua.com. Photo: Sean M. Hower

PROM NIGHT – Gentlemen dust off your suits and ladies slip on your heels because the Diamond’s Ice Bar Prom has arrived! Here’s your chance to relive that iconic high school dance (or experience it for the first time). Dress to impress (anything goes!) for an evening filled with drink, dance and DJ Illz. Snap a photo with your date (or friends) in the photo booth and vote for the evening’s prom king and queen. Ages 21 and over only. Free admission. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299, Diamondsicebar.com. Photo: Pat Jedruszek/Wikimedia Commons

SATURDAY, MAY 4 GLENN FREY – The MACC welcomes rock royalty and music legend Glenn Frey for an evening of classic hits dating back to his days with the Eagles. Credited for writing/ co-writing some of the Eagles classics like “Tequila Sunrise” and “Hotel California,” Frey’s musical abilities are undeniable. As a solo artist he would become known for Beverly Hills Cops’ “The Heat is On” and Miami Vice’s “You Belong to the City” among others. Decades later, the double platinum recording artist, Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame inductee (with the Eagles) and avid golfer continues his legacy of stunning lyrical classics. $55-$129. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Pavilion/Amphitheater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: MACC

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY – This Saturday marks Free Comic Book Day, which is celebrated around the world. Here on Maui, the Kihei, Lahaina and Makawao Public Libraries are celebrating! Each library will give away free comic books to those with a valid Hawaii State Public Library System card (while supplies last). Kihei and Lahaina Public libraries will host meet and greets with local comic book heroes and artists! Head over to Lahaina Public library 11am to meet Homestuck characters. From noon to 4pm local meet comic book artist James Silvani. A big mahalo to libraries’ local Friends groups, Jelly’s the Original and Collector Maniacs for sponsoring the free event. For more information on schedule and special accommodations, contactt your local libra library. Librarieshawaii.org. Photo: Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

SUNDAY, MAY 5 MAPA SPRING EXTRAVAGANZA – Maui, brace yourselves for three days of Maui Academy of Performing Arts mayhem. The weekend will kick off MAPA’s Spring Extravaganza at the MACC. The annual recital will feature tap, Hip-Hop and jazz on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday afternoon, The Little Mermaid will feature MAPA ballerinas following the Hans Christian Andersen classic tale. Sunday evening will be MOVES, a showcase for MAPA’s top dancers along with a guest performance by the adult company Ampersand. $15. Saturday, 2 pm. Sunday, 1 pm & 7:30 pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-280-9489, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Lorne Direnfeld

CINCO DE MAUI – Got Cinco de Mayo plans? If not, take advantage of a few Cinco de Drinko happenings around Maui! Milagros is excited to introduce “Tequila De Mayo-Cinco no Bueno,” featuring daily margarita and shot specials. Amigos is celebrating with draft beer and pupu specials all day. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill will offer $2 el pastor tacos, $3 Corona and $3 margaritas on the rocks. Then at 6pm, the Gina Martinelli Band will take the stage for your listening pleasure. From 7:30pm-10pm, sip on Captain Jack’s $3.50 Coronas, $4 Margaritas, and $6 Patron shots while listening to live music. For a finale, check out Hard Rock Cafe from 8pm-11pm. A $5 cover will get you into a dance party featuring a DJ and Cinco de Mayo specials. Hardrock.com, Captainjacksmaui.com, Amigosmaui.com, Diamondsicebar.com, Milagrosfoodcompany.com. Photo: Sean M. Hower

MAY 2, 2013 19

Film

‘Iron Man 3’ It’s a strange but great flick

BY BARRY WURST II

Looks more like steel DEADLINE: MAY 3RD PUBLISHES: MAY 9 TH ****************************** TO RESERVE SPACE CONTACT:

Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com ***********************

Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com ***********************

CALL & RESERVE YOUR SPACE TODAY!

20 MAY 2, 2013

2013

SPA GUIDE

‘Iron Man 3’ ★★★★★

Rated PG-13 / 130 Min.

T

he real hero of Iron Man 3 isn’t Tony Stark but the film’s director and co-screenwriter, Shane Black. Movie buffs know him as the author of the slam bang action classics Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss Goodnight, The Last Boy Scout and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. That last film gave Robert Downey Jr. one of his best roles and paved the way for his big comeback as a Marvel super hero. Now, Downey Jr. returns the favor by reuniting with Black, whose input makes this a fuller, wilder and funnier sequel than the disappointing Iron Man 2.

Stark is suffering from sleep deprivation and is rattled by the threats of a terrorist who calls himself The Mandarin (played by Ben Kingsley). While Stark’s girlfriend and business partner (Gwyneth Paltrow) is being wooed by a smooth scientist (Guy Pearce), Stark is revisited by a former lover (Rebecca Hall) whose reappearance occurs just as his life begins to unravel.

Downey Jr. is, again, wonderful, clearly relishing both the movie star treatment the role grants him and the unique challenges the character presents this time out. The Mandarin seems like a misstep initially (he’s neither scary nor the most intriguing figure on screen), until we see the unique way Kingsley and the story utilize the character in the third act.

Pearce looks like he’s having as much a blast as Downey Jr. in a flamboyant role and Hall is excellent in a crucial turn. I would have liked more of Don Cheadle, and Paltrow seems obligated to playing the damsel in distress in these movies.

Clocking in at 130 minutes, it’s quite long, with multiple subplots that are carefully tied together but still fight for equal screen time. Black and co-screen-

writer Drew Pearce keep this from being formulaic and conventional, though the product placements and a scene set at the Mann’s Chinese Theater smack of commercialism. While made for kids, it may be too intense and adult for many of them, a problem and asset with Black’s cult classic debut film, The Monster Squad.

While not the TKO that the original was, it shares a keen focus on character and still thrills your socks off with the action and special effects. A sequence involving Air Force One features a show stopper of a set piece, on the level with James Cameron’s greatest spectacles.

The story combines the best aspects of Black’s former glories, including an grand finale that would be at home in Lethal Weapon and, another Black trademark, it absurdly takes place during Christmas. Even the iffy inclusion of a child sidekick mostly works, due to the way Black (and Stark) take a cynical, amusingly unsentimental approach.

This is a strange movie, and the strangeness is to the film’s benefit. There are some off-the-wall touches here that would be unique in any movie, let alone one based on a comic book. You haven’t seen anything quite like this, a refreshing quality for a lavish, comic book sequel. While The Avengers is mentioned a few times, this is a stand-alone story, with even the expected (and delightful) post credits scene nicely wrapping up the story. Unlike the overly busy Iron Man 2, this movie isn’t cluttered with set ups for future films.

I wasn’t crazy about Thor or Captain America, which were too silly and cornball to take at all seriously. With Iron Man, Stark is one of the unusual comic book heroes who is even more interesting when he isn’t in his superhero attire.

There’s plenty of action but there’s also more of Downey Jr. as Stark and that distinction makes a world of difference. ■

Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

Last chance to see Oz the Great and Powerful KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: Every day until 4pm) G.I. Joe: Retaliation-PG13-THU 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40. FRI-SAT 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10. SUN-WED 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40.

It Takes a Man and a Woman-UnratedTHU 1:45, 4:30, 7:15. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. SUN-WED 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15.

Oblivion-PG13-THU 10:45, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00. FRI-SAT 10:30, 11:30, 12:15, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 6:00, 7:00, 8:30, 9:45, 10:20. SUNWED 10:30, 11:30, 12:15, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 6:00, 7:00, 8:30.

Oz the Great and Powerful-PG-THU 11:00.

Storm Surfers 3D-Unrated-THU 10:50, 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30. FRI-WED 3:00, 8:00.

The Big Wedding-R-THU 10:50, 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:20. FRI-SAT 10:50, 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:20, 9:25. SUN-WED 10:50, 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:20.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) 42: A True American Legend-PG13-THU 2:30, 5:30, 8:30. FRI-SAT 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30. SUN-WED 11:30, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30.

Iron Man 3-PG13-THU 9:30. FRI-SAT 12:30, 2:00, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30, 11:00. SUNWED 12:30, 2:00, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30.

Iron Man 3 3D-PG13-FRI-SAT 11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, 10:00. SUN-WED 11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 3:00,

NEW THIS WEEK

Bruce Willis, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and elite military unit (based on old action figures) fights bad guys. 110 min.

IRON MAN 3 - PG13 - Action/Sci-fi/Comics -

IT TAKES A MAN AND A WOMAN - NR -

Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark, this time to take on Mandarin (Ben Kingsley). Also stars Gwyneth Paltrow and Guy Pearce. See this week’s Film Critique. 130 min.

Romance/Comedy - This Filipino film, the third installment in the A Very Special Love series, tells the story of Laida (Sarah Geronimo) and Miggy (John Lloyd Cruz) following their breakup. 120 min.

NOW PLAYING 42: A TRUE AMERICAN LEGEND - PG13

- Drama/Sports - Brian Helgeland directs this first major biopic of Jackie Robinson, who broke Major League Baseball’s loathsome “color barrier” in 1947. Stars Chadwick Boseman and Harrison Ford. 128 min.

THE BIG WEDDING - R - Comedy - A long

divorced couple pretends to be married when their family gets together for a wedding. 90 min.

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP - R - Thriller - Robert Redford directs and stars in this flick about a young journalist who finds a former Weatherman activist who’s gone underground. 121 min.

THE CROODS - PG - Animation - A prehistoric family goes on a road trip. 98 min.

GI JOE: RETALIATION - PG-13 - Action -

4:00, 5:00, 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, 10:00.

Jurassic Park-PG13-SUN-WED 11:35, 2:30.

Jurassic Park 3D-PG13-THU 2:25, 5:20, 8:15. FRI-SAT 11:35, 2:30.

Olympus Has Fallen-R-THU 1:40, 4:20, 7:05, 9:55. FRI-SAT 5:25, 8:15. SUN-WED 5:25, 8:15.

Pain and Gain-R-THU 1:30, 3:25, 4:20, 6:30, 7:10, 9:20, 10:00. FRI-SAT 12:30, 1:30, 3:25, 4:20, 6:30, 7:10, 9:20, 10:00. SUN-WED 12:30, 1:30, 3:25, 4:20, 6:30, 7:10, 9:20.

Scary Movie 5-PG13-THU 2:40, 5:25, 7:45, 10:00. FRI-SAT 12:30, 2:40, 5:25, 7:45, 10:00.

SUN-WED 12:30, 2:40, 5:25, 7:45, 10:00.

Side Effects-R-THU 2:05, 4:35, 7:10, 9:40.

The Call-R-THU 6:50, 9:05.

The Company You Keep-R-THU 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50. FRI-SAT 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50.

SUN-WED 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50.

The Croods-PG-THU 2:35, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50.

FRI-SAT 12:10, 2:35, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50. SUNWED 12:10, 2:35, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50.

The Croods 3D-PG-THU 2:05, 4:30.

The Host-PG13-THU 3:15, 6:15, 9:15.

Tyler Perry’s Temptation-PG13-THU 1:35, 4:10, 7:05, 9:45.

JURASSIC PARK 3D - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi The 1993 Steven Spielberg dinosaurs-are-chasing-us picture is back and in 3D. Stars Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum. 127 min.

658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) 42: A True American Legend-PG13-THU 12:45, 3:45, 6:50, 9:50. FRI-WED 4:00, 9:50.

Iron Man 3-PG13-FRI-WED 12:30, 3:45, 7:00, 10:15.

Oblivion-PG13-THU 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00. FRI-WED 1:00, 4:00, 6:45, 10:00.

Olympus Has Fallen-R-THU 1:15, 4:15, 7:05, 9:50. FRI-WED 1:15, 7:15.

Charlie Sheen, as himself. 85 min.

STORM SURFERS - NR - Adventure/Docu-

mentary - Surf legends Tom Carroll and Ross Clarke-Jones try to ride really, really big waves. 95 min.

LAST CHANCE THE CALL - R - Thriller - A 911 operator faces

a killer from her past to save some girl who got abducted. 95 min.

OBLIVION - PG-13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Tom

THE HOST - PG13 - Action/Romance - Some

Cruise plays a lonely vet on an empty Earth who starts to question his job extracting planetary resources. Sounds like a big budget remake of WALL-E. 126 min.

teen chick tries to save her friends (and the world, I guess) from an invisible force that erases peoples’ memories. 125 min.

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN - R - Action - A ca-

shiered Secret Service agent helps save the president after terrorists hit the White House. 120 min.

PAIN & GAIN - R - Action/Crime/Comedy -

Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson star in this mediocre action comedy based on a ruthless Miami crime gang that killed real people in the 1990s. 130 min.

SCARY MOVIE 5 - PG13 - Comedy - A

couple with a newborn son realize a demon is stalking them. Starring Ashley Tisdale and

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL - PG -

Fantasy - A small-time magician finds himself in Oz. Stars James Franco and Rachel Weisz. 130 min.

SIDE EFFECTS - R - Crime/Drama Rooney Mara stars in this creepy Steven Soderbergh film about a suffering woman trying to have a baby. 115 min.

TYLER PERRY’S TEMPTATION - PG13 Drama - A hot billionaire tempts an ambitious wife. Hilarity ensues. 111 min.

MAY 2, 2013 21

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

BIG SHOWS

RAPPER/MUSICIAN NAS - Thu, May 2. See This Week’s Picks. $45 (In advance plus applicable fees) - $5 increase day of show. 6pm A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org MAUI CLASSICAL MUSIC FESTIVAL - Fri, May 3, Mon, May 6, Wed, May 8 & Fri, May 10. See This Week’s Picks. $10 student/ $25 adult. 7pm. Makawao Union Church. (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808878-2312; mauiclassicalmusicfestival.org THE REX NAVARRETE COMEDY SHOW - Fri, May 3. See This Week’s Picks. $20, $30, $40. 8-10:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW STRING BAND - Fri, May 3. Featuring special guests Aloha Blue Grass Band. $15. 9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com MAUI ONION FESTIVAL - Sat, May 4. See This Week’s Picks. Free. 10am Ka’anapali Beach Resort, (2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy); 808-661-4567; whalersvillage.com/onionfestival.htm MAPA SPRING EXTRAVAGANZA - Sat, May 4 & Sun, May 5. See This Week’s Picks. $15. Saturday, 2pm. Sunday, 1pm & 7:30pm Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-280-9489; mauiarts.org

Lahaina Cannery Mall • 808.661.0808 • www.lulushawaii.com

MAUI ROLLER GIRLS HOST BIG BAND NITE - Sat, May 4. Maui Roller Derby Girls host a 1940’s big band night, featuring music from Moonglow Big Band, USO review and Silent Auction. Doors open for food, dancing and entertainment at 6:30pm. Show starts at 7pm. Tickets are available at the door or online. $20. 6:30pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; mauirollergirls.com GLENN FREY - Sat, May 4. See This Week’s Picks. $55, $79, $89 and a limited number of $129 premium seats. 7-10pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW STRING BAND - Sat, May 4. With special guests Maui’s own Aloha Bluegrass. $15 cover. 9pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com GAVINCHI BROWN - Fri, May 3 at Charley’s in Paia and Sat, May 4 at Stella Blues in Kihei. Rising star Gavinchi Brown backed by Rootz N Creation, with an opening set by DJ Boomshot and hosted by Irie Dole. $5 before 10:30pm, $10 after 10:30pm. 10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; charleysmaui.com; Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

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22 MAY 2, 2013

SHANTALA “SACRED MUSIC OF INDIA” CONCERT - Sun, May 5. These Bhakti Fest headliners bring “the bhav” to Maui. Benjy & Heather Wertheimer of Shantala along with special guest Sean Frenette. They return for their 5th appearance on Maui sharing their amazing sacred music of India. Advance tickets available at Maui Kombucha in Haiku and Monsoon India Restaurant in Kihei. Come early for Monsoon Indian Feast and for best seats. $15 advance, $20 cash at door. 7-9pm Makawao Union Church, (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-8271; shantalamusic.com

STAGE

THE PRISONER OF SECOND AVE - Fri, May 3 thru Sun, May 19. See This Week’s Picks. Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings at 7:30pm and Sundays at 3pm (no show on 5/5). $20. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550, proartspacific.com

HOLLYWOOD ARMS - Fri, May 3 thru Sun, May 5.

Making it’s Hawaii debut, Maui OnStage is bringing you Carrie Hamilton and Carol Burnett’s Hollywood Arms. Originally written by Hamilton, the project was completed by her mother (Burnett) after Hamilton’s passing. Now Michael Pulliam, who also moonlights as a Maui News drama columnist, is directing the Maui production. Follow Nanny, Louise and Helen as they battle personal struggle while living on welfare in a one-bedroom apartment. Nanny’s nononsense mentality, Louise’s battle with alcoholism and Helen’s dreams of escaping poverty makes for a dramatic yet humorous take on what once was Burnett’s reality. $17-$28. 7:30pm Fridays and Saturdays, 3pm Sundays. Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com

FOODIE

LOCAL CHEFS COMPETE IN THE MAUI ONION CHALLENGE - Sat, May 4. The Maui Onion Challenge is one of the many Maui Onion Festival Events. The friendly competition begins at 10am and host chefs competing to create the best Maui Onion dish that will lead them to a final cook-off at the Maui Onion Festival. Ka’anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-243-2290 HOLY CANNOLI SUNDAYS - Sun, May 5.

Whole Foods offer made to order cannolis with seasonal flavors every Sunday. Bring a friend to share the sweetness every week. 12-3pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

TICKETS ON SALE

PUKANA: INSTITUTE OF HAWAIIAN MUSIC SHOWCASE - Thu, May 9. UH Maui College’s Institute of Hawaiian Music and the UHMC Chorus will showcase its Second Annual Student Concert, featuring ‘ukulele, guitar, keyboards and vocals. The IHM students celebrate their graduation and compilation CD release with a special performance of songs from the record and more Hawaiian music. The CD will be available for purchase with an opportunity to meet the artists after the show. $12. 6:30-9pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAUI CRAFT SESSION CELEBRATES THE INDUSTRIES OF BEER, WHISKY AND CIGARS - Fri, May 10. Maui Craft Session showcases the craft industries of beer, whisky and cigars with a display of small batch productions of handmade products from Maui Brewing Co., Southern Wine and Spirits of Hawaii and General Cigar. Reserve tickets by phone or online. $79.

Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa, (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-921-4600; sheraton-maui.com SUPPER CLUB WITH PAULA FUGA, MIKE LOVE & SAM ITES - Fri, May 10. $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm. 6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-8743779; stellablues.com HOLLYWOOD EXTRAVAGANZA DANCE EVENT - Sat, May 11. DEJA VU 7 presents a “Hollywood Extravaganza” dance event benefiting the programs and services of Hospice Maui.

Dance to live music featuring The Sakuras, The Merzy Beats, City and County and The Shamrocks with Alan Pascua. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-2445555; kamehamehagolf.com SUPPER CLUB WITH HAPA - Sat, May 11. $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm.

6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com MOTHER’S DAY CHARITY CONCERT AT STELLA BLUES - Sun, May 12. Stella Blues host their third-annual Mother’s Day concert featuring artist Gail

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/2

5/3

5/4

5/5

5/6-5/8

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

Digiluxe with DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

Get Your Sexy On with DJ LaRage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm

Brown Chicken Brown Cow String Band 9pm; $15 cover

Mana’o Radio Upcountry Sundays 2pm; $7

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7-10pm / TUE Howard Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm / WED - Evan Dove & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm (all no cover)

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Rampage 10pm; no cover

Next Level Entertainment 9pm; no cover

Prom with DJ Illz 9pm; no cover

Cinco de Mayo Party / Gina Martinelli, 6pm

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool Day, 6pm / WED - Booze Braddahs, 8pm

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Dance Party 9pm; no cover

Jordan 6pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON - Amy’s Mix, 9pm / TUE - Jessica & Kanoa, 10pm / WED - Big John, 10pm

Kimo Nevius 6:30-9pm; no cover

The House Shakers 6:30-9pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 6:30-9pm; no cover

Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm; no cover

MON - Scott & Allen / TUE - Thunder & Lightnin / WED - Tom Conway (6:30-9pm)

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Apana Eha Molokai 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - DJ Daizy, 9pmclose / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm; no cover

Evan Shulman 6-9pm; no cover

THE BRITISH BLUES EXPLOSION WITH JOHN MAYALL & KIM SIMMONDS - Thu, May 16. The British Blues Explosion features the “Godfather of British Blues” and living Blues legend, John Mayall and Blues icon, Kim Simmonds, guitarist and founder of British Blues super group Savoy Brown. Kim Simmonds will open the show with a rare acoustic set, then join Mayall and The Bluesbreakers. $35, $45, $55. 7:30-10pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

FRIDAY, MAY 3

MAKAWAO LIBRARY CELEBRATES “SCREEN FREE WEEK” - National Screen Free Week encourages the community to turn off electronics for a week and read, play, create and

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

spend time with family and friends. Makawao Library will offer free pledge cards and information about Screen-Free Week. Free. Makawao Public Library, (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785; librarieshawaii.org/locations/maui/makawao.htm

SLIM COMMUNITY GARDEN OPENS ITS GATES - SLIM Community Garden invites the community to its Grand Opening celebration.

Garden tours, food, drinks and recognition of sponsors and volunteers will be a part of the evening’s festivities. Come celebrate the communities garden transformation. 4-6pm University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3379; maui.hawaii.edu

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

The Worrell Family Band 9pm; $10

Swanson, Cheryl Rae, Elaine Ryan and Sebrina Barron. This benefit concert will feature The Maui Farm by raising money and awareness for this non-profit group. $30-$60. 6pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

THURSDAY, MAY 2

MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm; no cover TUE - Toxic w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm; no cover WED - DJ J-Zen, 10pm; no cover

Gavinchi Brown w/ Rootz N Creation & DJ Boomshot, 10pm; $5-10

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

EVENTS

Volcanic w/ DJ Playwfire Ono, 10pm; no cover

TBD 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

HARD ROCK CAFE

MAUI BREWERS FESTIVAL - Sat, May 18. Maui Brewers Festival showcases the best craft beers made in Hawaii and beyond. Join hosts Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Maui Brewing Company and Paradise Beverages for a leisurely day of tasting beers from over 30 craft breweries, sampling appetizers from over 20 of Maui’s popular restaurants and food trucks, and live music by Nuff Sedd, Lia Live and Simply Twisted. Prizes will be given away, too! $50/ gen adm, $60/on event day, $95/VIP. 2:30-7pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

FINGER FRIDAY - Here’s your chance to score a $25 finger tattoo. Choose from select designs. Appt is necessary. $25. 10am-9pm Body Alive Yoga & Movement Studio, (1995 Main St., 2nd floor, Wailuku); 808-359-1060; bodyaliveyoga.com STEALING CARS WITH THE PROS BOOK SIGNING - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 4-7pm Maui Friends of the Library Bookstore, Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-2509; mfol.org “A MERMAID SIGHTING” EXHIBIT - North Shore Art and Frame presents “A Mermaid Sighting” Exhibit during Wailuku First Friday. The reception will be from 6-9pm. 6-9pm Northshore Art and Frames, (2080 Vineyard St., Wailuku); 808-298-5034 THE 13TH ANNUAL MAUI MATSURI KICKOFF EVENT - The 13th Annual Maui Matsuri will honor Japanese cultural traditions with its annual theme of “Kodomo No Tame Ni” (for the sake of the children). A kimono fashion show, taiko by Maui Taiko, Japanese dance performances, and a jankenpo contest will be the highlight of the Maui Matsuri kickoff event. The kickoff event will also include a children’s coloring contest sponsored by Sanrio, and will conclude with obon odori practice around the center stage at approximately 8pm. Free. 6:30pm Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-282-9999; mauimatsuri.com WEST MAUI SCHOOLS BENEFIT- Join I Heart Lahaina as West Maui students showcase art, music, host games, activities, auctions, food and more.

Come together for an event that is fun for the family and supports the six West Maui schools’ educational programs. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com 1ST ANNUAL CHINESE KITE FESTIVAL - See This Week’s Picks. Free. Fri, 2-8pm & Sat, 11am-

Cinco De Mayo Party 8-11pm; $5

4pm Wo Hing Temple Museum, (858 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-3262; lahainarestoration.org WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 6-9pm (Market, Main and Vineyard Streets); mauifridays.com

rent owner of a Subaru, your pet adoption fee will be waived. 11am-2pm Island Subaru, (110 Hana Hwy., Kahului); 808-564-2329

SATURDAY, MAY 4

STEALING CARS WITH THE PROS BOOK SIGNING - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 12-2pm Barnes & Noble, (325 Keawe #101, Lahaina); 808-662-1300; barnesandnoble.com

FREE LEGAL CLINICS - A free informational session with practicing attorneys on a variety of topics that include Bankruptcy, Divorce, Child Custody, Elder Care, Employment Law, Estate Planning, Landlord-Tenant Issues, Wills and Trusts. Free. 8am12pm Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-591-0222; hsba.org/younglawyers.aspx

PAI MERCANTILE LAHAINA HOST GRAND OPENING EVENT - Paia Mercantile Lahaina is throwing a Grand Opening and Hawaiian Blessing Event. Raffles, keiki activities and live entertainment will fill the day with fun as you browse the new store and inventory. Free. 12-4pm Lahaina Gateway, (305 Keawe St.); 808-661-1001; lahainagateway.com

GIANT RUMMAGE SALE - Neighbors Helping Neighbors Na Hoaloha is hosting a rummage sale benefiting the Aloha Cruisers senior transport program. Shop for donate furniture, clothing, books, household items and more. You can also help by donating items for the sale. Free.

8am-1pm Baldwin High School, Cafeteria, (1650 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Wailuku); 808-249-2545; nahoaloha.org; alohagerri@aol.com

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY - See This Week’s Picks. 4pm Kihei Public Library, (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-875-6833; librarieshawaii.org

MAUI DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION - The Maui County Committee of the Democratic Party of Hawaii will hold its annual Convention that includes a continental breakfast. Scholarships are available to those traveling from Molokai and Lanai and individuals who can demonstrate financial need. Early registration is $20 until Friday, May 3, 2013 at 3:00pm. 10am Maui Tropical Plantation Restaurant, (1670 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-359-4256; mauidemocrats.org

HOLOKAI CLUB - This free kid’s club on the first Saturday of each month is an organized arts and crafts event created for families with children in kindergarten through 5th grade. Free. 10am-12pm Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com HAIKU PSYCHIC FAIR & ART SHOW - An art show and fair featuring angel and tarot readers, Reiki, final art show by local artists, and Aura photography with interpretive readings of what the colors represent and more. Free. Special rates on services. 11am-4pm Lotus Heart Maui, (575 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-5220; lotusheartmaui.com

SUNDAY, MAY 5

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY - See This Week’s Picks. 11am Lahaina Library, (680 Wharf St.); 808-831-6877; librarieshawaii.org

KONO’S ON THE GREEN CINCO DE MAYO PARTY - 94X OmZone Maui presents a Cinco de Mayo party featuring Latin Jazz & Smooth R&B from Sal Godinez, Michael Feegrade, Omar & special guest. wine, great food, art, poetry, and ambience. $5 cover. 4-7pm Kono’s on the Green, (550 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei); 808-298-9022; omzonemaui.com

ISLAND SUBARU’S PET ADOPTION EVENT - Subaru Dealers of Hawaii are hosting an adoption and supply drive event for our furry friends.

Subaru Hawaii will give $25 Petco gift card to each family that adopts a pet. If you are a cur-

HARD ROCK CAFE’S CINCO DE MAYO PARTY - A Cinco de Mayo party featuring a DJ spinning dance music. $5 cover. 21 and over. 8-11pm The Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; hardrock.com

PADDLE IMUA RACE AND FUNDRAISER See This Week’s Picks. $50 before May 2nd/ $70 after. 10am Maliko Gulch, (Paia); paddleimua.com

MAY 2, 2013 23

FRIDAY

5/3

JAMIE GALLO & FRIENDS

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER!

SUNDAY MAY 5TH @ $2 EL PASTOR TACOS $12.95 FAJITAS $3 CORONA,

CORONA LT, DOS EQUIS AMBER, MODELO ESPECIAL, PACIFICO & MARGARITAS ON THE ROCKS GINA MARTINELLI BAND @6PM KITCHEN OPEN TIL 12AM!

GAVINCHI BROWN W/

ROOTS N CREATION, DJ BOOMSHOT & MC IRIE DOLE

10:00PM $5 BEFORE 10:30PM• $10 AFTER SATURDAY THE WORRELL

5/4

FAMILY BAND

9PM • $10 COVER

SUNDAY

5/5

NBA PLAYOFFS

BREAKFAST SERVED AT 7AM

DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MONDAY

5/6

TUESDAY

5/7

WEDNESDAY

5/8

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND

OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • no COVER TACO TUESDAY W/

HOWARD AHIA

SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER 6:30PM-8:3OPM • NO COVER

EVAN DOVE

& FRIENDS 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299

MUSIC STARTS AT 2PM. PRICE FOR THE EVENT $50 PP (NOT INCLUSIVE OF TAXES & GRATUITIES) SHOW ONLY: $30 Brunch Menu CROSTINE will be delivered to your table.

Wild Mushrooms capers and truffle oil Smoked salmon, sour cream, capers.

Prosciutto and fresh mozzarella Crab Salad Choose your main course: Home made ravioli, filled with spinach and ricotta, served with a crispy sage and truffle sauce.

Eggs Benedict over Cajun dusted Mahi Mahi, Hollandaise sauce.

Fettuccine with lamb ragout and dry ricotta cheese.

Kaupo Salad: New York steak over mixed greens tossed in gorgonzola dressing.

Grilled Mahi Mahi over steamed spinach with quinoa salad.

Hamburger: cheese, wild mushrooms ragu, caesar, fries Coffee, Teas and Tiramisu’.

24 MAY 2, 2013

CALL 572 0220 FOR RESERVATIONS.

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/2

5/3

5/4

5/5

5/6-5/8

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

JAY’S PLACE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHANA GRILL 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Ste. 301, Kahana - 669-4000

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Kawika’s Krew 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo Acoustic Guitar, 7-9pm; no cover

Jazz feat. Ellen Bellerose & Shiro Mori, 3:30-6:30pm

Garrett Probst & Damion Emeson, 9:30-11:30pm

1810 6:30-8:30; no cover

Live Music 9-11pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

Maui Blues & Co. or Jarod 7pm; no cover

MON - Red Fish / TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects (7pm)

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - Ladies Night, 10pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke 2pm-2am; no cover

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR

TUE - Free Karaoke, 2pm-2am; no cover

Maui Blues Co. 7:30-10pm; no cover

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MONDAY, MAY 6 HULA PERFORMANCE - Original hip-ster stylie performance. Free. 10:30am Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

TUESDAY, MAY 7 ‘UKULELE LESSONS - Learn some strumming techniques and impress your friends. Free. 5:30pm Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

WEDNESDAY, MAY 8 WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. Free. 6:308pm The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea.com / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter WEDNESDAY WALKABOUT BAR CRAWL They only do this once a month, so here’s your shot for May. On this night, five bars in the Triangle (that’s Kihei Kalama Village to those who’ve been on-island less than an hour) will offer drink specials. As usual, the five bars are Ambrosia, Kahale’s, Dog & Duck, Tiki Lounge and Three’s.

Participants will get a card at their first bar of the evening, and each successive visit to one of the above bars gets a punch on that card. Those who visit all five bars, and earn all five punches, win a prize. No Cover. 8pm Kihei Kalama Village, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); ambrosiamaui.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

MON-TUE - Farzad & Mike Madden / WED Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

Live Music 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

WED - Karaoke

Howard Ahia 6-9pm; no cover

Allure w/ DJ LX 10pm; $5

MON - SIN w/ DJ Blast, 8pm / TUE - Trivia Night, 8pm / WED - Karaoke w/ Dave, 10pm

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Willie K, 7-9pm; $65 / Trish da Dish Pub Quiz, 9pm-12am

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Soul Kitchen Trio 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-8:30pm; no covr

MON - The Makai Jazz Group, 6:30pm / TUE - Timothy Wenk Magic Show, 7-8pm / WED - Thorne, 6:30pm

COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Sun, Emily Joyce 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm; Fri, Damon and Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm; Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon and Tim 6-8:30pm; Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

FIVE PALMS LAHAINA - Daily, Live Entertainment Nightly 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St.); 808-661-0937.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Fri, The House Shakers 6:30-9pm; Sat, Barefoot Minded 6:309pm; Sun, Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Scott & Allen 6:30-9pm; Mon, Scott & Allen 6:30-9pm; Tue, Thunder & Lighting 6:30-9pm; Wed, Tom Conway 6:30-9pm; Sat, Salsa Saturdays w/ Dr. Nat: Latin/ Salsa 6:30-9pm; Thu, Kimo Nevius 6:30-9pm.

(744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm.

(900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am; Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Damon Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali’i Parillo 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Albert Kaina 6:30pm; Sat, Damon Parillo 1:30pm; Sat, Danyel

Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali’i 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Fri, HULA GRILL KA’ANAPALI HOST 5th ANNUAL MAUI ONION BEER DINNER 6pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai); 808-667-0787.

KAHANA GRILL - Fri, Jazz Maui Featuring Ellen Bellerose and Shiro Mori 3:30-6:30pm; Thu, Johnny Ringo Acoustic Guitar 7-9pm. (4405 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy Ste. 301); 808-669-4000.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm.

(730 Front St.); 808-661-0700.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm.

(843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2); 808-667-6655.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J); 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr.); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #A1); 808-661-0808.

Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808-669-6400.

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Ka’i Ala D., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Gretchen 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Gretchen 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:30-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm.

(658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt 8pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: South Park 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga

MAY 2, 2013 25

SUNDAY MAY 5TH 8PM - 11PM

DJ DANCE PARTY

CINCO DE MAYO $5 COVER 21 AND OVER

BUD LIME & CLASSIC MARGARITA SPECIALS 900 FRONT STREET. • +1-808-667-7400 • HARDROCK.COM

26 MAY 2, 2013

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/2

5/3

5/4

5/5

5/6-5/8

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

70s, 80s 10pm-1am; no cover

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Big John / TUE - Industry Night / WED - Paradise w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm; no cover

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Justin 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Gretchen, 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover

Rob+Ron=R2 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

Andy Kaina & the Kaina Kountry Band 8:30pm; no cover

Ah-Tim 4pm; no cover Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm.

(300 Ma‘alaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

(555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm; Sat, Jordan T. 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Emily Joice 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Thu, Rama 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alejandro 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm;

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10pm)

Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke 4pm; no cover

MON - Mahalo Monday / WED - Karaoke Party/Free Pool, 8:30pm

Brown Chicken Brown Cow, 9pm; $15

Roots and Creation 10pm; $5

Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; no cover

TUE - Comedy Open Mic, 8:30pm; no cover WED - Randall Rospond, 4pm -6pm; no cover

Annie & The Orfinz 9pm-1am; $4 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 7pm; no cover

TUE - Free Arcade, 7pm / WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover

Karaoke 7pm; no cover Salsa Night w/ Ernesto and Barbara, 8pm

Levi Paosa 6:30pm; no cover

Metamorphosis w/ Kings of Spades, 9:30pm; $10

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON-TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles Night, 10pm (All sets no cover)

Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Willie K 7pm; Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Soul Kitchen Trio 6-8pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:309:30pm; Mon, The Makai Jazz Group 6:308:30pm; Tue, Timothy Wenk 7-9pm; Wed, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT - Thu, Karaoke 7pm; Wed, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7pm. (41 E. Lipoa St., Suite 15, Kihei); 808-874-5115.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Kimo 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Wed, Sebrina Barron 6:308:30pm; Thu, Open Mic Night w/ Artie Parti 6:308:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Joshua on Maui 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:30-8:30pm.

(2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Fri, Levi Poasa

7pm; Sat, Metamorphosis with Kings of Spade Owaila; Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Thu, Salsa with Barbara and Ernesto 8pm.

(1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073.

LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR Fri, Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues & Co. 7:3010pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Richard Dancil Hawaiian Music 6-8pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm.

(824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770.

PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-3111.

MAIN STREET BISTRO - Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom 6:30-9:30pm. (2051 Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-6816.

WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St.); 808-495-0259.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

CASANOVA - Sun, Mana’o Radio Upcountry Sundays: Meaghan Owens, Sebrina Barron, Dorothy Betz & Les Adam, and Justin MOrris of BCBC String Band 2pm. (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220.

FRIDAY RIDAY PAU HANA 55-7PM 7PM MUSIC - FOOD - BYOB*

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, TBD 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Jamie Gallo & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia & Friends 6:308:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm.

(810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 26 N. MARKET ST.

808.495.0259

*WE INVITE OUR DINNER GUESTS TO BYOB

MAY 2, 2013 27

Surprise Mom With A Gift That Lasts A Lifetime!

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Ser vice Sales Business Net works Point-of-Sale

(808) 874-3008

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• Computer Repair • PC & Mac • New & Used Gear • Business Support • Point of Sale

95 E. Lipoa St @ South Maui Center

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ELECTROLYSIS The only permanent hair removal choice Stop plucking & shaving unwanted hair ACNE CARE SPECIALIST Complimentary consultation

115 E Lipoa Street Kihei • 808-875-7070

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WIZARD OF AAHS

Maui Language Service

Get your business card into the hands of our readers!

Japanese Lessons

ESL (English as a Second Language) Lessons Beginner to Advanced level students welcome!

Japanese- English interpretation service also available Legal & real estate transaction, business, parties Call for a free trial lesson and consultation!

(808) 276-1463

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Maui Language Service Chinese (Mandarin) Lessons

Now available! Beginner to Advanced level students welcome!

*per week

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Chinese-English interpretation service also available Legal & real estate transaction, business, parties

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Call for a free trial lesson and consultation!

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www.mauilanguageservice.com info@mauilanguageservice.com 355 Hukilike St #201A, Kahului HI 96793

Contact brad@mauitime.com or call (808) 283-3260 *8 week minimum, black & white. Add $10 for full color

Horoscope

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Elitism may be your downfall. Your unwillingness to stand beside the unwashed masses makes you an easy target. While your mild snobbery is probably perfectly justified, it’s dangerous. There’s a difference between carefully choosing friends, and passing judgment based on some preconceived frivolity, like appearance or heritage. Your current project, by its very nature, requires a dream team pulled from all walks of life and as many flavors of experience as possible. Put aside—at least temporarily—whatever minor prejudices you still possess, or risk failure. You can go back to your tried and true standards of quality later—if you still want to.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Lately your life has been so pest-ridden that you’ve taken to stalking around with flyswatter in hand and a murderous gleam in your eyes. Where did all these bugs come from anyway, damn it? My theory is that you overcompensated for some past bitchiness and got so sweet that these phenomenally annoying parasites swarmed to you in droves. However, don’t let your inner pendulum swing back towards being pissy and mean just to scare them off. Get a bigger swatter and wear sticky strips as earrings if you must, but keep the honey flowing, not the vinegar. You’ll be glad to have a chance to wield that sugary magnetism when next week, some beautiful beasts you actually want around you come out to play.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Take out your mental garbage, already. Clouds of flies buzz persistently over the kitchen of your mind, where you cook up new ideas. It’s starting to reek so bad in there that Creativity and Inspiration have gone into hiding.

The trash chute (or whatever method you usually use to get rid of this crap) is clogged, so it’s going to take a little more work than usual to get your psychological rubbish to the curb for weekly pick-up. Nevertheless, get your ass in gear, curb your gag reflex and stop retching long enough to do whatever it takes—even hauling dripping bags of filth down ten flights of steps—to clear your head.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Geckos stick to things thanks to millions of microscopic hairs on the soles of their feet that take advantage of weak intermolecular attractions called van der Waals forces. Individually, each hair has a sticking power so incredibly slight it would be virtually immeasurable, but cumulatively they enable the little amphibians to zip across the ceiling with ease. You’ve got innumerable equivalents to van der Waals forces at work in your life. Instead of dismissing each one as too feeble to have any real influence on your existence, consider that collectively they could help you transcend gravity, and if you let them, they will.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) In order to succeed this week, you must temporarily abandon your usual forthrightness in favor of more devious methodologies. Think squid, or skunk. The heretofore rarely-used skill you require is the sneaky getaway.

Squirt a cloud of ink and disappear, or blast your nemesis with noxious mist and waddle your ass out of there.

Of course, like both squid and skunk, give your pursuers plenty of warning before you make your escape, so they have the option of backing off before you’re pushed to such extremes. Just don’t let them catch you because you’re unwilling to be as devious as you need to be.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Caution and fear are quite different. The former is thoughtfulness that enables you to avoid or reduce very real risks associated with a course of action. Fear is less rational than that, often related to dangers that are completely imaginary. Making the distinction between the two is your most important task this week. While it’s wise to be careful about the choices you make, decisions based on irrational apprehension could handicap you for months to come. None of us want to see that; you’re much more fun when you’re working near the top of your full potential, not lurking in the safe zone a couple miles below that.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Mama Bird’s pushing you out of the nest, again. She’s

confused: If you’re so unready to fly, how did you get back here in the first place? You try to point out how fragile and underdeveloped your fledgling wings are, but she’s got a point: they’ll never get stronger loafing around the nest eating regurgitated worms. Spare your nervous, overworked nurturer this burden on top of all the others she’s already shouldering. Before she has a chance to get all flustered experiencing an inner battle between guilt and necessity, hop to the edge of the nest, reaffirm your faith (bolstered by several successful trial runs), and leap.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Make sure you’re limbered up before you attempt any feats that could result in injury or disaster if not properly executed. Getting ready for your newest goals isn’t as easy as touching your toes and doing neck rolls. Mental flexibility is both more necessary and harder to acquire than physical suppleness. Before you leap into action, give your wits a stretch: Make clever prank phone calls, guess the astrological signs of your favorite sitcom characters, or recite the opening lines from a literary classic, backwards (“Times of worst the was it, times of best the was it…”), until your brain is as bendy and playful as it needs to be.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Tough love is sometimes the answer. I dreamt you were a therapist who advocated spanking her clients.

You’d choose butt-slapping implements based on their specific problems, from pineapples to teddy bears (hey, it made sense in the dream). Your ability to accurately choose a curative tool was astonishing, guaranteeing a nearly 100 percent success rate.

Since your usual rehabilitation techniques won’t pack their usual clout this week, you might want to consider some alternative remedies. Sometimes people need compassion, coddling, and real practical help.

But sometimes they just need to be bent over your knee, slapped around a little, and told to get over it.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) It takes 30-40 gallons of average maple sap to boil down to one gallon of delicious syrup. That ratio seem familiar?

You’ve been working your ass off for results that may not look like much to the casual observer. But when you finally get to taste the concentrated sweetness of your cumulative labors, it will all seem worthwhile. Ignore the naysayers who dismiss you for toiling for too little. They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. There are plenty of people who believe what you’re up to is worthwhile. Reward them for their faith with a taste before you pour the rest all over your pancakes.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) The cat sips from the tap, too prissy to lap lukewarm water from a bowl. The dog, on the other hand, is content to drink from a dirty brown puddle. Being a Pisces, you can appreciate both attitudes. While some fastidiousness is reasonable, it can also be fun to hang with someone who’s as laid back as a toilet-drinking canine.

Since the people you spend time with this week will have an intensified effect on your overall attitude, make sure you choose those that’ll tug you in the right direction: Feeling too anal? The neighbor chick with hairy armpits and some really good pot could fix you right up. Or is slobbiness consuming your life? Date a Virgo.

They’ll soon have you going to the gym, cleaning up, and eating right—on a schedule, no less.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Why wait for a suitable co-conspirator? The females of some species have mastered parthenogenesis: the ability to lay fertilized eggs without a male. Some whiptail lizard populations in the southwestern United States are entirely female. For untold generations, they’ve produced identical offspring, perfect clones of themselves. The absence of genetic diversity does make these groups uniquely vulnerable to change.

However, just to get you through this dry spell, temporarily adopting the virgin birth strategy—at least in terms of creation, if not procreation—is better than not generating any ideas at all. What’re you waiting for?

Start popping out Mini-Mes, already.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

MAY 2, 2013 29

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