16.40 Where The Wind Blows, March 21, 2013, Volume 16, Issue 40, MauiTime

March 21, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 40 ✚ FREE

WHERE THE WIND

BLOWS Sempra just completed eight wind turbines in Kahikinui.

Now they’re talking about adding 39 more, to help power Oahu.

LOVING OUR

SMOKING ON SUNSHINE

PG.5

BABYCAKES

ADMISSION

PG.13

FILM

PG.19

REVIEW

URBAN WINGSUIT

PLUS

PG.10

2

MARCH 21, 2013

Contents

VOLUME 16 THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Which Disney character should MauiTime Admin Assistant Jenn Brown date?

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Mickey Mouse

COVER: March 21, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 40 ✚ FREE

Cover design by Darris Hurst.

Photo courtesy EpicStockMedia / shutterstock.com

WHERE THE WIND

BLOWS

Sempra just completed eight wind turbines in Kahikinui.

Now they’re talking about adding 39 more, to help power Oahu.

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Captain Hook Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Hercules), Jenny Greene (The Fox Robin Hood) Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Minnie Mouse Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Herbie the Love Bug

PLUS

SMOKING ON SUNSHINE

4 10 13 15 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.5

LOVING OUR

BABYCAKES

PG.13

ADMISSION

FILM

PG.19

REVIEW

URBAN WINGSUIT

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Prince Charming

BURGERS

NEW YORK DELI

ISSUE 40

✚

PG.10

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Carl Fredrickson

FRESH PASTRIES

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY EAT & DRINK A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton Prince Eric (808) 244-0777

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Calendar Assistant: Jenna Schamber calendar@mauitime.com Gaston Proofreader: Dina Wilson Admin Assistants: Sara Riley, Jennifer Brown (Captain Jack Sparrow) (808) 244-0777 Interns: Axel Beers, Sarah Gerlach (O’Malley), Lauren Hecker, Marina Satoafaiga

Facebook.com/mix1055fm MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

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News & Views

SALON

QUIZunderstood

THE COLOR SPECIALIST IN MAUI tions sent out a press release stating that seasonally adjusted unemployment in Hawaii for January 2013 stood at 5.2 percent. According to the press release, what was unemployment in Hawaii during the same month last year?

A. 5.1 percent.

B. 5.8 percent.

C. 6.3 percent.

D. 6.7 percent.

E. 7.2 percent.

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1. During its Mar. 15 hearing, the Maui County Council approved $3.25 million in “additional bond funding” for the new Kihei police station, which is under construction and was supposed to cost $27 million, according to a Mar. 16 Maui News story. How much money, reported the paper, did the council originally budget for the station?

A. $27 million.

B. $37 million.

C. $47 million.

D. $57 million.

E. $67 million

3. A Mar. 15 post from Pacific Business news stated that Hawaii hotel room rates were up that week over the same week in 2012. According to the story, the hotel occupancy rate on Maui rose 1.1 percent to 84.9 percent. How high did room rates rise over the same period?

A. 2.3 percent.

B. 3.9 percent.

C. 5.1 percent.

D. 6.9 percent.

E. 7.9 percent.

2. On Mar. 15, the Hawaii State Department of Labor & Industrial Rela-

See answers, page 29

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News & Views

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Let the sun shine in!

THE COUNTY OF MAUI IS MY SUNSHINE

This is big not only because HC&S’ method of harvesting cane involves burning it in the fields, which produces thick smoke that seems to bother a sizeable portion of the island’s population, but because the company employs 800 people. Did you get that?

HC&S has 800 employees. Volner seems sensitive to this, because he mentioned it three times in his single-page letter: • “On March 12, the Pu‘unene mill returns to life [and] our 800 workers return to harvesting and processing sugarcane on our 36,000 acres...”

• “With all of these accomplishments, I am still most proud of our 800 employees...”

• “We are determined to keep the central valley of Maui green and our family of 800 workers employed...”

See? Who are you to question the actions of an organization that employs 800 people? But fear not, ye who find yourselves choking on the mornings of cane-burns: Volner and his army of 800 feel your pain.

HC&S STARTING TO LIGHT FIRES AGAIN Good news everyone! It’s mid-March, and that means Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar (HC&S) will start burning sugar cane in the fields again! I know this because a few days ago I received a letter that started out like all love letters from those who truly care about me.

“Dear Neighbor,” the Mar. 11 letter from HC&S General Manager Rick W. Volner, Jr. started. “The purpose of this letter is to once again advise our neighbors of the start of HC&S’ harvesting season.”

PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

One of the great things about the County of Maui is that they don’t discriminate against anyone willing to give them an award. Regardless of the organization, its funding or the fact that it doesn’t really like government of any kind, if it’s willing to hand over an award that didn’t exist five years ago, the County of Maui is more than willing to accept it graciously.

“Sunshine Review, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to government transparency, has released the winners of the 4th-annual Sunny Awards, and among the winners is the County of Maui, Council Chair Gladys C. Baisa announced today,” stated a Mar. 14 news release from Baisa’s office. “The award honors the most transparent government websites in the nation.”

According to the press release, the “Editors at Sunshine Review” graded the “topranked 1,000” government websites “on items such as budgets, meetings, lobbying, financial audits, contracts, academic performance, public records and taxes.” The press release notes that Sunshine Review President Michael Barnhart recognized Maui County for being a “champion for transparency and serving as a leader to every state and local government around the nation.”

Mere minutes after Baisa’s press release went out, Maui Now (as they’re wont to do) published a blog post on the county’s triumph. The Maui News followed suit with a community news blurb in their Mar. 17 paper. What neither news source did was provide any sort of context on Sunshine Review–beyond the couple sentences saying that the nonprofit analyzes state and local government websites.

According to Sunshine Review’s own website (sunshinereview.org), “Sunshine Review originated as a project of the Sam Adams Alliance (SAM) [named for the

American Revolutionary founder, not the Boston lager], but in 2010 separated from SAM and relaunched as its own organization dedicated to educating the public about proactive disclosure and other open government initiatives.” The Sam Adams Alliance is a strongly libertarian organization that, according to its website, “strives to educate and inform citizens about the important political issues necessary to maintaining a free society, including government accountability, government transparency, property rights protection, fiscal responsibility, free speech, and citizen initiative and referendum rights.”

According to SourceWatch, Barnhart and Sunshine Review are also pretty tight with the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC). They’re a “corporate bill mill” that Sourcewatch says takes money from corporations in exchange for writing and lobbying for legislation that would serve corporate interests.

And then there’s the fact that even though Sunshine Review preaches the gospel of “transparency,” they keep the names of their own donors a tightly guarded secret. “Like many non-profits and as a 501(c)(3) organization, Sunshine Review

respects the wishes of its donors to keep their identities confidential,” states the Sunshine Review website.

Given that, SourceWatch–citing IRS filings–reported that Sunshine Review has received hundreds of thousands of dollars from all manner of anti-government foundations and think tanks.

“In 2010, the Sunshine Review received over $560,000 from the conservative Sam Adams Alliance (SAM), according to SAM’s IRS tax filings,” reported SourceWatch.

“Of its $3.9 million budget, SAM also provides funding to groups such as the Tea Party Patriots Foundation, the First Freedom Foundation, and the Citizens in Charge Foundation. SAM gets funding from the State Policy Network (SPN) which is partially funded by The Claude R. Lambe Foundation, a project of Charles Koch who co-owns Koch Industries with his brother David.”

I figured the Koch brothers, who donated $411,000 to Republicans across the country during the 2012 election (their organization Americans for Prosperity spent millions more attempting to defeat President Barack Obama’s reelection effort), according to the Center for Responsive Politics, would come into this sooner or later. Ask any politically inclined Democrat in the nation about the Koch brothers, and you’ll find they’re somewhere between Rasputin and Eddie Haskell on the Great Spectrum of Universal Evil.

But please–let’s not allow any of that to darken the County of Maui’s day in the sun.

Tasty cane smoke

“I had to call the front desk and tell them not to let him in.”

“We pledge to communicate more with you about our agricultural operations, harvesting and, especially, the schedule for sugar cane burning in your area,” Volner wrote. “Our hope is that more advance information from us will help minimize the impacts on you.”

You know, to give you time to grab your family and flee like refugees to Hana or Oahu or maybe just jump into a canoe and paddle out to sea until the skies clear in November.

See, HC&S “listened” to you. They’re going to keep right on burning cane in the fields, because apparently that’s they way it was always done, but they do listen to you. ■

-Woman at Four Seasons in Wailea, Mar. 15

anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

Overheard

For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MARCH 21, 2013

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No litter please!

KEEP THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS BEAUTIFUL GETS AWARD The largest anti-litter nonprofit in the nation, Keep America Beautiful, recently honored Keep The Hawaiian Islands Beautiful as an “exemplary affiliate organization,” according to a Mar. 18 press release from Jan Dapitan, the Hawaii organization’s state leader.

“Keep the Hawaiian Islands Beautiful received a Keep America Beautiful (KAB) Gold State Recognition Award during KAB’s recent 60th anniversary National Conference in Washington, D.C., distinguishing itself as an exemplary statewide affiliate organization,” stated the news release. “Keep the Hawaiian Islands Beautiful was honored for its outstanding promotion of KAB’s mission statewide and for its program support for local affiliates in Hawaii.”

According to the news release, KAB really liked such Keep The Hawaiian Islands Beautiful programs as its “National Planting Day at Kanaha” and its involvement in the 2012 “Great American Clean-up,” which “combined 6 local affiliates statewide for 5 months, resulting in over 39,819 Volunteers, and 101 events.”

“Keep America Beautiful’s State Recognition Awards recognizes our state affiliates that produce creative and resourceful programming for their citizens,” said Matt McKenna, president and CEO of Keep America Beautiful, in the news release. “It’s my privilege to recognize Keep the Hawaiian Islands Beautiful and State Leader Jan Dapitan and the Board of Directors for the tremendous leadership they exhibited in their state during 2012.”

The nonprofit organization Keep America Beautiful formed decades ago as a kind of corporate response to urban beautification. KAB’s most famous anti-littering ad campaign debuted in the early 1970s and featured Iron Eyes Cody in the so-called “crying Indian” TV spot.

“Long before being ‘green’ was fashionable,

Keep America Beautiful formed in 1953 when a group of corporate and civic leaders met in New York City to discuss a revolutionary idea — bringing the public and private sectors together to develop and promote a national cleanliness ethic,” states KAB’s website.

To be fair, KAB’s critics point out that the organization’s biggest supporters are major corporations like Pepsico, Altria Group, Waste Management, Dow Chemical, LG Electronics and the American Chemistry Council. These corporations and trade organizations often find themselves at odds with environmentalists. For instance, the American Chemistry Council has long opposed municipal plastic bag bans, even though such bans eliminate the sources of huge quantities of litter.

-Anthony Pignataro

MAUI COUNTY FARM BUREAU TEACHES KIDS ABOUT AG

editor@mauitime.com

Not very many kids these days aspire to be farmers. The job has a bad rap (we’re thinking the hours, the debt, the smell...) but Maui

For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

PHOTO COURTESY MAUI COUNTY FARM BUREAU

Currently, WiFi Wailuku is gauging interest and support from the community. There is just one point in the WiFi “grid” so far, and that’s at Kama’aina Properties on the corner of Market and Main Streets, but the aim is to set up a network of 20 participating businesses surrounding Wailuku’s Municipal Lot and Main Street to give the whole area free wireless Internet access.

Sugimura recently applied for a County of Maui Small Town Grant to help fund WiFi Wailuku, and is in need of local businesses and community members willing to participate. Interested business owners and citizens should contact her at yukilei. sugimura@gmail.com.

-Axel Beers

PHOTO COURTESY NOAA

Maui resident Yuki Lei Sugimura wants to bring Wailuku into the 21st century with WiFi Wailuku, a plan to provide free wireless internet access to the Wailuku Town. The program, which has been discussed at various Maui Redevelopment Agency meetings over the last few months, would put Wailuku on the growing list of towns in the U.S. offering wireless Internet as a service to the public. Currently Honolulu’s Chinatown is the only area in the state offering municipal WiFi. “We’re modeled after Chinatown,” Sugimura told me, referring to the node strategy used to partner the WiFi project with local businesses. Essentially, all community businesses need to do is place a router provided by the WiFi project in their place of operation, and the router will automatically connect to the grid of other routers to maximize wireless coverage.

“Our goal is to bring people to Wailuku Town,” she added.

County Farm Bureau (MCBF) has taken up the good fight to bring agriculture education to elementary schools around Maui. Considering that the Farm Bureau says the average age of a farmer on Maui is 60, this is a good thing.

Their Agriculture in the Classroom program reached 1,500 second grade students at 15 different elementary schools in the county from August 2012 to last February.

About a thousand of those students took a field trip to Maui Tropical Plantation Mar. 7-8. There they got firsthand looks into the agriculture industry. They met Maui farmers and watched a variety of presentations from the community.

The College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources presented “Canoe Crops;” Maui Electric Company presented “Daily Nutrition;” even Monsanto Hawaii got into the act with their “Parts of a Plant.” Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm showed the kids “Planting a Lavender Sprig” while Coconut Willie offered them “Amazing Coconuts.” And, of course, Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar taught “Seed to Seed.” Then the kids took the plantation tram tour and SoMoor demonstrated the concept of “Value-added Agriculture.”

The program started in 2006. For young children, MCFB aims their education programs on building awareness of where our food comes from: not a bag or a can, but from things grown by seeds. At the high school and college level they focus on career opportunities like environmental stewardship, ag economics, plant and animal sciences and human nutrition.

Any school can participate–charter, public, or private. The next installation begins in August. For more information, visit mauicountyfarmbureau.org.

-Jen Russo ■

Harrison Kehler of Ali‘i Kula Lavender teach students proper way to plant a lavender sprig as Koa Chang helps.

MARCH 21, 2013

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News & Views

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

DOPING ON ICE Leaders of the ice-fishing community, aiming for official Olympics recognition as a sport, have begun the process by asking the World Anti-Doping Agency to randomly test its “athletes” for performanceenhancing drugs, according to a February New York Times report. However, said the chairman of the U.S. Freshwater Fishing Association, “We do not test for beer,” because, he added, “Everyone would fail.”

Ice-fishing is a lonely, frigid endeavor rarely employing strength but mostly requiring guile and strategy, as competitors who discover advantageous spots in the lake must surreptitiously upload the hauls lest competitors rush over to drill their own holes. Urine tests have also been run in recent years on competitors in darts, miniature golf, chess and tug-of-war, and in 2011, one chess player, two mini-golfers and one tugger tested positive.

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A frequent sight on Soweto, South Africa, streets recently is crowds of 12-to15-year-old boys known as “izikhotane” (“boasters”) who hang out in their designer jeans, “shimmering silk shirts, bright pink and blue shoes, and whitestraw, narrow-brimmed fedoras,” according to a February BBC News dispatch.

Flashing wads of cash begged from beleaguered parents, hundreds may amass, playing loud music and sometimes even trashing their fancy clothes as if to feign an indifference to wealth. Since many izikhotanes’ families are working-class survivors of apartheid, they are mostly ashamed of their kids’ behavior. “This isn’t what we struggled for,” lamented one parent. But, protested a peer-pressured boaster, “[Y]ou must dress like this, even if you live in a shack.”

TEETH LIFTING! India’s annual “Rural Olympics” might be the cultural equivalent of several Southern U.S. “Redneck Olympics” but taken somewhat more seriously, in that this year, corporate sponsorships (Nokia and Suzuki) helped fund the equivalent of about $66,000 in prize money for such events as competitive pulling using only one’s ears or teeth. “We do this for money, trophies, fame and respect,” one ear-puller told The Wall Street Journal in February. This year, in the four-day event in Punjab state, the 50,000 spectators could watch a teethlifter pull a 110-pound sack upward for about eight seconds and an ear-puller ease a car about 15 feet.

WEIRD JAPAN A generous local businessman recently graced the city of Okuizumo with funding for replicas of two Renaissance statues (“Venus de Milo” and Michelangelo’s “David”) for a public park. Agence FrancePresse reported in February that many

residents, receiving little advance warning, expressed shock at the unveiling of “David” and demanded that he at least be given underpants. And fax machines, almost obsolete in the U.S., are still central to many tech-savvy Japanese families and companies (who bought 1.7 million units last year alone), reported The New York Times in February. Families prefer faxes’ superiority to e-mail for warmly expressing Japan’s complex written language, and bureaucrats favor faxes’ preserving the imperative of paper flow.

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES The 14 guests at a jewelry party in Lake City, Fla., were initially incredulous that home-invader Derek Lee, 24, meant to rob them, but when they saw that he was serious (by putting his gun to the head of one woman), the hostess went into action. “In the name of Jesus,” she shouted, “get out of my house now!” Then the guests chanted in unison, “Jesus! Jesus!

Jesus!” over and over. Lee, frightened or bewildered, sprinted out the door emptyhanded and was later arrested.

YET ANOTHER FATWA Saudi cleric Sheikh Abdullah Daoud, in an interview in February on al-Majd TV, decreed that female babies should wear full-face veils (burkas) to help shield them from sexual advances. According to a former judge at the Saudi Board of Grievances, Saudi authorities have issued standards for fatwas, thus urging people to ignore “unregulated” ones such as Skeikh Daoud’s.

LITIGATION WARS In 2011, Julian Pellegrino pleaded guilty to DUI involving serious bodily injury to Mark Costa in Chicopee, Mass., and was sentenced to serve 18 months in jail, but that did not deter Pellegrino from filing a lawsuit in December, demanding $1.1 million for Costa’s somehow “caus[ing]” his car to collide with Pellegrino’s. Pellegrino (with a broken neck) was actually more seriously injured than Costa, who sued back, asking nearly $200,000. In 2010, while Pellegrino was awaiting disposition of the case with Costa, he pleaded guilty to another DUI.

FETISHES ON PARADE Paul Jamrozik, 63, was arrested in Upper Darby, Pa., in January and charged as the man who lured a 12-year-old boy into his home and, under the guise of pretend-podiatry, spritzed his feet with athlete’s-foot spray and tickled them before performing an exam of his ears and nose with medical equipment. When the kid asked to leave, according to the police report, Jamrozik withheld his shoes until he promised to bring his friends by the next day to be examined. ■ chuck@mauitime.com

YOUR SCION NO HAGGLE, NO HASSLE. Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

S

o I finally got a day off with my two kids and had the time to take them on a whale watch. It’s bad enough that almost everything we get from TV is mainland violence. Here, I thought, was a chance to do something peaceful with my kids. Nope! When we got to the harbor, we saw you beating up a kid half your size on the dock next to the boat we were considering boarding. Wow dude, think about how happy the people around you might be before you subject them to your violence! I asked around and found out you actually work in that harbor and the kid you were beating up worked with you. Helluva crew member you seem to be. ■

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WHERE THE WIND

BLOWS Sempra just completed eight wind turbines in Kahikinui.

Now they’re talking about adding 39 more, to help power Oahu.

By Anthony Pignataro

I

t’s about noon, and a light rain is tapping the corrugated metal sheet above my head. The skies are dark gray, but the land is still serene and beautiful. I’m in Kanaio, sitting at wooden bench next to some bleached livestock skulls and

10 MARCH 21, 2013

a pen holding a pet, a very large black pig named Mamani. The place is Bully’s Burgers, located on the Triple L Ranch and named for the ranch’s late owner Louis “Bully” De Ponte, and I’ve just devoured one of their six-ounce, 100 percent natural grass-fed burgers (disclo-

sure: Bully’s is a MauiTime advertiser).

Even as remote as this place is, there was a time when the little roadside burger stand was booming. Then Sempra U.S. Gas & Power and BP Wind Energy started hauling wind turbine parts through Kanaio to Kahikinui, a few miles down

the road. That required intermittent road closures, which devastated Bully’s Burgers. The eight-turbine, 21 megawatt (MW) wind farm officially came online last month, and Bully’s is only now recovering some of its lost business.

At Auwahi’s official opening in late

Bully’s Burgers

lines, potentially an AC/DC converter station on Maui, an on-site substation, an expanded MECO substation, and operations and maintenance facilities.”

The proposal appears consistent with a recent call from the state Department of Hawaiian Homelands (DHHL) for proj-

“I consider myself a caretaker for our future generations. I have strong feelings about that. They did make good with us, but it’s kind of like The Descendants.

Once that land is gone, it’s gone.” ects that would generate more renewable energy on Maui. On Mar. 13, the DHHL posted a public notice titled “Proposed Disposition Of Hawaiian Homelands For Renewable Energy Projects.” According to the notice, the public was invited to comment at DHHL hearings in Wailuku Mar. 20-21 on “renewable energy projects on Hawaiian home lands at Kahikinui, Pulehunui, and Honokowai” (the hearings took place after MauiTime went to press this week).

The fact sheet does not mention a projected cost for the proposal. Art Larson, a spokesperson for Sempra, confirmed the details in the fact sheet, but said he did not have a cost estimate.

Larson added that Sempra’s proposal was a direct response to DHHL’s call for renewable energy proposals for Maui. “We are one of about 50 respondents,” Larson said.

An official with DHHL did not respond to a request for comment by press time.

According to the fact sheet, the development timeline depends on when state officials release a Request for Proposals (RFP) for the undersea cable. In any case, the fact sheet states that new federal Renewable Fuel Standards coming online over the next decade and a half

grids would become much more stable, as the undersea cable would be bidirectional. Old, inefficient and highly polluting generating facilities on Maui and Oahu could be utilized only on an as-needed basis.”

When asked about the effect of the wind farm expansion on Maui consumer electric rates, McLeod wasn’t so sure there would be much of a positive effect for this island. “It won’t raise Oahu’s rates,” McLeod said. “It would give Maui the same rates as Oahu. But today, the difference between the [two islands’] rates isn’t what it used to be.”

As for when that cable might go in, McLeod said that no one really knows.

In the summer of 2011, the state Public Utilities Commission (PUC) directed Hawaiian Electric Co. (HECO) to submit a draft RFP for at least 200 MW of renewable energy “using any available technology generated on or for delivery to the island of O‘ahu.” On Oct. 14, 2011, HECO posted that RFP, which carried the catchy title “Draft Request for Proposals for Renewable Energy and Undersea Cable System Projects Delivered to the Island of O‘ahu.”

After HECO received, according to a rundown of the RFP history on their website, “a voluminous number of comments from the public,” the utility “made extensive revisions.” Though HECO was supposed to release the final RFP on the undersea cable last summer, it now says it should come out “sometime in the second quarter of 2013.”

According to McLeod, the cable is still a long way from approval. First, he said, two separate Environmental Impact Statements are required, including one for the route the cable would take.

“The main issue is whether the route goes through the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary,” said McLeod. “That may make it impossible.”

After that, the state PUC would also have to approve the cable.

“There’s no reason for people to get super excited today,” said McLeod. “It’s just being floated as a proposal. Sempra may not even submit it formally. The reality is there are going to be lots of things proposed if there’s a cable.”

A version of this story first appeared on our Mauifeed.com blog on Mar. 14. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

PHOTO BY TOM WALSH COURTESY WIKIMEDIA

February, federal, state and local officials cheered the wind farm as the future of power generation. “We’re always talking about sustainability and being independent,” Hawaii Lt. Gov. Tsutsui said, according to a Feb. 25 post from PR Newswire. “This goes hand in hand with a lot of our initiatives. It’s definitely a step in the right direction and we look much forward to other projects.”

But when I asked current Bully’s owner Paige De Ponte about that wind farm, and the possibility that Sempra may expand the operation, she was quiet.

She refused to say anything bad about Sempra or the road closures that hurt her business (De Ponte did say that Sempra compensated her for losses she incurred). But she also expressed great love for the land that surrounds her ranch.

“Sustainable development is always a positive thing,” De Ponte told me by phone (her son Zach and daughter Maurissa run the burger stand). “But where we’re at, this is truly Maui’s last frontier.

My husband died and I was left with a lot of land. I consider myself a caretaker for our future generations. I have strong feelings about that. They did make good with us, but it’s kind of like The Descendants.

Once that land is gone, it’s gone.”

In fact, Sempra is proposing a considerable expansion of their Auwahi wind facility, according to a two-page company fact sheet obtained by MauiTime. The fact sheet, dated February 2013, states that the company wishes to build nearly 40 more turbines on “100-200 acres.”

But there’s a catch. The expansion, according to the fact sheet, would only happen if the proposed undersea power cable between Oahu and Maui goes in.

That’s because the Sempra fact sheet makes clear that their new wind farm’s 120 megawatts of renewable energy would all go to Oahu.

“The 120MW project will entail the installation of approximately 39 wind turbines, based on a generation capacity of approximately 3 MW per turbine,” states the fact sheet. “Support infrastructure includes required access roads, wind turbine assembly area, overhead and underground transmission and collector

impose a deadline on the project.

“A commercial operation date of December 31, 2019 is anticipated due to the 2020 RFS [Renewable Fuel Standards] requirements for the state of Hawaii, and Oahu in particular,” states the fact sheet.

Doug McLeod, the County of Maui’s Energy Commissioner, said he was familiar with Sempra’s proposal.

“It’s far too large for Maui’s needs,” said McLeod. “Maui today is 30 percent renewable. This is one of a number of likely proposals that would go in if there’s a cable to Oahu. Sempra’s plan only comes into effect if the cable goes in.”

The Sempra fact sheet does list a couple positive effects for Maui, should the company expand the Auwahi wind farm.

“Once construction is complete on the Auwahi Wind Farm Expansion, water will be provided to the local Kahikinui community,” states the fact sheet, though how much water is left unsaid.

The fact sheet also mentioned that even though the project’s 120 MW would get sent to Oahu, it still might lower electric rates on Maui. “Exporting the wind power from the Auwahi Wind Farm Expansion to Oahu provides the unique opportunity to potentially lower Maui’s electric rates,” states the fact sheet. “Both the Oahu and Maui electric

The proposed Sempra wind farm will dwarf this, the current Kaheawa wind farm in Ma’alaea.

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Food & Drink

BabyCakes Rocks!

How an app helped me do delicious gluten- and dairy-free baking

BY JEN RUSSO

I

baked my first cookie when I was 10. By the time I was in high school I was making choux pastry and eclairs just for shits and giggles while my sisters and I stayed up late watching whatever came on the 12 TV channels that were available back then. I’ve been making my grandmother’s banana bread so long it’s second nature. To me, baking has been comfort, entertainment and wonder. I’m still amazed at the chemistry of combinations that fulfill crust and crumb of all my favorite recipes.

But these days, we’re always reading about how a pound of butter in a dozen cookies will risk heart attack and sugar can send you to the hospital.

Wheat allergies are rampant, and dairy and meat should be avoided. What’s a hobby baker to do?

I threw in the towel for about a year. But I missed the kitchen alchemy of mixing powders and liquids that transformed into glorious baked beauties in my oven’s dark heat. So I decided to take up gluten-free and vegan baking, but I wasn’t sure where to start. After cracking open a gluten-free baking book I got from an aunt, I realized I needed to learn a whole new vocabulary of ingredients and restock my pantry.

I went down to Hawaiian Moons and picked up a bag of xanthan gum and Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Flour. I noticed a chocolate chip cookie recipe by the famous “BabyCakes Bakery NYC” on the back of the packaging, so Googled them on my iPhone. Ten minutes later their brand new app (launched around December 2012) was on my phone.

I had never used a recipe or cooking app before, beyond searching online for recipes. But the app was definitely a different experience. With two books under her belt, Bakery founder Erin McKenna says she’s a visual learner. “[My app is] a bake-through of much of my first two books, a televisual cheatsheet for vegan and gluten-free baking, an indulgent and beautiful art project,” she said. “It is BabyCakes NYC without the subway ride or the parking ticket.”

You can tell McKenna has a very distinct aesthetic, her app is very artsy, every recipe has its own logo on the home screen, and the app has a custom soundtrack by the Bubbles, J Mascis of Dinosaur Jr, Bleached and Cults. It also uses a new platform called Atavist to tell its story of vegan baking.

McKenna is a self-taught baker and now runs the super popular Babycakes

Bakery in New York and LA. At first I was almost turned off by her celeb following and hipster vibe, but it was her baking that brought me back.

Grasping my iPhone while donning reading glasses and lining up strange flours and unfamiliar ingredients in my kitchen, I looked over my first Babycakes app recipe: the brownie. Of course, it’s easy to loose the iPhone among your baking pans and potato starch. Also, trying to reload your recipe after your phone screensaver turns on every two minutes is a pain, but the app makes it up to you with videos.

You have your very own season of allergy-free baking with Erin Mckenna of BabyCakes Bakery on the phone–not even Food Network has that. There are sections on the ingredients, celebrity appearances and other chefs like Momofuku/Milk Bar’s Christina Tosi and Del Posto’s Brooks Headley.

So far, I’ve made the brownies, choco-

flours, some have organic unprocessed sugar, some use agave, but all have been moist and so good you wonder why anyone would use wheat and dairy in baking in the first place.

The BabyCakes app will run you $4 but you get how-to videos for everything you make, as well as social sharing, FAQs, McKenna style points (she makes baking and eating cupcakes while being visibly pregnant look so hip) and a soundtrack. It’s the same price for the iPad version, which comes with a slightly better interface.

What the app is missing is a page dedicated to their Tumblr blog, which is updated regularly and a source of inspiration for me. Instead, it has a link to a fake app blog that only has one post dating back to December 2012.

Getting BabyCakes baking on your reading device like Kindle or Nook will run you about $13 but you will miss out on the videos. Instead, find Babycakes on YouTube. McKenna has videos of her

late chip cookies and a banana chocolate chip teacake. Each one came out spectacularly. I’ve been bringing baked goods to the office for years, and I know when something isn’t good: it gets left in the break room all day, untouched, forcing me to bring it home.

But these goodies disappeared as fast, if not more, than ones boasting dairy and wheat, even after and I gave full disclosure of their contents. Sure, there was initial surprise. But questions like “What, these don’t have any butter or sugar?” soon gave way to comments like “These are fudgey bites from heaven.”

Gobbling chocolate cookies, my editor said, “These are delicious but they could use more gluten to hold them together.” Another office mate asked me what was holding them together.

To be honest, I have no idea. I just moved on to the cupcake recipes and then to donuts. Each recipe is so completely different. Many use different

mom making her recipes, eager reporters following her around her bakery while she bakes and plenty of other videos.

Still like the feel of an old fashioned cookbook in the kitchen? Go to Barnes & Noble in Lahaina and spend $25 for her beautiful hard cover editions. You’ll still get lots of tips on gluten-free baking, and the ingredient info chapter is very thorough. Though you’re missing the videos and music, you will get more pictures and recipes plus classic advice from McKenna.

“Always use proper measuring spoons,” she says in one of her books. “The teaspoons and tablespoons in your silverware drawer won’t cut it, and eyeballed or otherwise touch measurements will result in baked goods so terrible and ugly I don’t even want to discuss it.”■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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Art & Entertainment

‘Living The Dream’ Talking story with Americana musicians Robin and Linda Williams

PHOTO BY SENOR MCGUIRE

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA

Robin & Linda Williams

T

he husband wife duo of Robin and Linda Williams is proof that you can successfully mix business with pleasure. For the past four decades, the duo has found fame in broadcasting, recording and touring.

Much of their fame comes from their involvement in the public radio show “A Prairie Home Companion.” Blending folk, country, bluegrass and gospel, the Williams have toured with the band “Their Fine Group” and sang for independent label Red House Records.

True to their Southern roots as well as their great harmony, they’ve appeared at the Grand Ole Opry and Radio City Music Hall.

Now approaching their 40th year as a duo, they provided us a behind-thescenes peak into their lives…

MAUITIME: How do you keep your professional and personal relationship intact?

ROBIN & LINDA: Mutual respect and similar interests. As Bruce Springsteen said in a song, “We like the same music, we like the same cars, we like the same clothes.”

And we’re rarely out of each other’s sight long enough to get into trouble.

MT: Your roots are in bluegrass, folk, old-time and acoustic country. How do you think most people think of that music?

R&L: That it’s a music of the past.

That it’s a simple music and easy to play.

Anyone who doesn’t think Bill Monroe and the Carter family and Doc Watson were not incredible innovators and brilliant musicians have not taken the time to really understand the genre.

MT: Then again, country music has been revered for its heartfelt lyrics and melodic tones.

R&L: Well that’s true.

It started out as a music of the people and our career has been spent trying to play music and write songs that ring true to the struggles and rewards that life brings to us all.

MT: Your music has been described as “Americana.” How have you been able to stay true to your roots?

R&L: We just finished recording our 24th CD in which we took a look at our extensive catalogue of songs going back 40 years. And in doing so, we’ve realized that we have always just done what we do. And that’s the beauty of the term “Americana’–it gives a label to folks like us who don’t exactly fit into a particular niche. We’ve always been singers and songwriters whose bluegrass, old time country and folk music roots show in our music.

MT: With each successive album, how do you deal with the pressure of having to outdo yourselves?

R&L: We just try to have fun recording, to play with the best musicians, engineer, and producer we can assemble with the time and money allotted. With that being said, preparation is the key.

MT: Now your newest album is titled These Old Dark Hills . Where’d you

get the title?

R&L: We live in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, overlooking the Allegheny mountains. They are with us everyday and have become like old friends that we are always glad to see.

MT: Nice. Now, radio played a major role in your early careers. What do you think of it today?

R&L: Radio is and always has been important. Our music is less available on commercial radio, but with Pandora, Sirius/XM, and streaming, it seems that music is more available now than ever before.

MT: What’s your advice to a new generation of musicians?

R&L: Do good, live shows, focus on the music and don’t give up.

MT: What are your musical influences?

R&L: Hank Williams, the Stanley brothers, Doc Watson, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Townes van Zandt, Bill Monroe, the Carter family and many more.

MT: What would you say is the message of your music?

R&L: That nothing stays the same; that life, and consequently, our music will always be changing and that we’re always trying to keep it honest.

MT: In three words or less, please describe your musical career.

R&L: Living the dream.

$35-$45. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org ■ editor@mauitime.com For more A&E news, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com

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Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity

FRIDAY, MAR. 22

THURSDAY, MAR. 21 JEFF PETERSON & NATHAN AWEAU – A professor at University of Hawaii’s Manoa campus, Jeff Peterson has been described as one of the “most versatile guitarists” on Hawaii’s music scene today. Blending traditional slack key with jazz undertones, Peterson has contributed to Grammy nominated records and won three Na Hoku Hanohano Awards. On the MACC stage Peterson will be joined by 2006 NHHA Male Vocalist of the Year, Nathan Aweau. He’s a Na Hoku award recipient, former member of HAPA and music teacher. He’s strummed the bass guitar for over three decades and has a unique style that allows him to play melody, chords and bass line at the same time. $30-$45. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org.

SLEEP WITH THE SHARKS – Want ant to change up sleepover dates? Sign your keiki up for a unique glimpse s! The Maui behind the nocturnal behavior of sharks!

Ocean Center invites children 8-13 for a fun and educational sleepover with hands-on lessons, crafts and ocean-themed games. The kids will get a pizza lunch, snacks and required and continental breakfast. Reservations are deadline will be noon bers 5:30pm-8:00am on Thursday, Mar. 21. Aquarium members receive 15 percent off. $60. 5:30pm-8:00am. a Rd.); 808-270-7075, Mauioceancenter.com.

Maui Ocean Center (192 Ma’alaea

FRIDAY, MAR. 22 K KIHEI FOURTH FRIDAY – This month, Kihei Fourth Friday Town Party is a (late, but whatever) St. Patrick’s Day celebration. Dance under the stars, d dine on local food and take part in St. Paddy’s Day games and activities.

H Headlining the main stage will be Neto & Barbara’s Maui Rumba, and yyou can also dance along to Aloha Ballroom Dance Academy. Oh, and b be sure to check out the volunteering needs at Habitat for Humanity aand Community Work Day booths. 6pm-9pm. Azeka Shopping Center ( (1279 S Kihei Rd.), Kiheifridays.com.

SEAN NA‘AUAO – A founding member of Mana’o radio, Sean Na’uao will serenade you with a range of mele from contemporary island to traditional Hawaiian.

Catch dinner and live entertainment at Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel’s Tiki Restaurant.

Na’uao wears multiple hats, including composer, concert promoter and founder of independent label Poi Pounder. Along the way he’s won a few Na Hoku Hanohano awards and a loyal following. Pono, Leimomi Murray and Kumu Hula of Halau Nawaipunalei will accompany Na’uao. Free. 6pm. Tiki Terrace Restaurant 808-667Kbhmaui.com.

(2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0124;

FRIDAY, FR R IID DAY AY, M MAR. MA AR. R 22

SATURDAY, SATU UR RD DAY A , MAR. 2 23 ‘FISHING FOR WIVES’ – Things get fishy in this tale of two men who find themselves in a classic battle over a woman.

Fishing for Wives follows Aoki and Nishi, two lonely fisherman, as they come head-to-head when Nishi’s picture bride arrives but then falls in love with the wrong man. It takes place in early 1900s Hawaii. $22. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org.

ROSELANI PLACE RUMMAGE SALE – Oh boy! The senior living community Roselani Place is holding its fifth annual rummage sale. Items will include furniture, clothing, books, household goods, plants and craft items. Proceeds will benefit residents of the home, which provides assisted living services for Maui’s seniors. Donations of sellable items are also welcome. If you have time, they also need volunteers to sort and price items Mar. 20-22 or you can help out on the day of the event. For more information, call 808-871-7720. 8am-12:00pm. Roselani Place (88 South Papa Ave., Kahului); Roselaniplace.com.

SATURDAY, MAR. 23 MAUI HEART WALK – The American Heart Association presents the 15th Annual Maui Heart Walk and Health Fair. The 5k walk, or run if you prefer, will take participants on a new route this year. Starting at Keopuolani Park (in front of the Boys & Girls Club) and through The Maui Nui Botanical Gardens where the trail will loop twice. Participants can participate in a T-shirt contest, a warm-up Zumba session pre-walk and the health fair.

Water and snacks will be available and you can park at the War Memorial Stadium. Register and sign a pledge donation envelope online or day of. Top walkers (who raised $750+ by event day) will receive a catered breakfast, a goodie bag and opportunity for a massage. Heart.org/HEARTORG.

HAWAIIAN RENAISSANCE FAIRE – Thee and thine are invited to two days of YMCA Camp Keanae’s Ye Olde Hawaiian Renaissance Faire. Take a trip back in time to medieval days with with crafts, food, entertainment, games, dancing, jousting and more.

Enjoy some outdoor family merriment while immersing yourself in the 14th century. Adults $10; Youth (age 5-15) $5; Keiki (age 4 & under) free; Family/ Ohana (2 adults + minor children) $25. 10am – 6pm daily. YMCA Camp Keanae (13375 Hana Hwy., Keanae - mile marker 16.5, Hwy 360); 808-2488355; 808-281-9746, Ymcacampkeanae.org.

SATURDAY, MAR. 23 HO‘OMAU – E hele mai to Ho’omau 2013. Na Leo Pulama o Maui, the parent support group of Punana Leo o Maui, invite all to attend their 26th annual fundraiser, which will benefit the Hawaiian Language Immersion Preschool. Featured entertainment includes Mele Pono, Malino and Sudden Rush. You can bid on items from the silent and live auction, browse the Hawaiian craft booths and enjoy ono food by Kula Kaiapuni o Maui Hawaiian Immersion students. Enjoy hula by Halau o Ka Hanu Lehua. Get tickets at The keiki of Punana Leo o Maui, Pacific Rootz Tattoo, Ruby’s Diner, Mana Foods, Paragon Salon, Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, ‘Ulalena, Native Intelligence and Pukalani Superette. 9am-6pm. $10 advanced/ $15 day of. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Wailuku); 808-244-5676; Hoomau.com.

SATURDAY, MAR. 23 KEALIA POND VISITOR CENTER OPEN! – Take in a fresh breath of air and enjoy the great outdoors this Saturday at Kealia Pond National Wildlife Refuge and Kanuimanu Ponds public viewing area. There you can see migratory birds and the endangered Hawaiian stilt (ae‘o) and Hawaiian coot (‘alae ke‘oke‘o). Usually only open during the week, this rare Saturday opening will allow visitors and locals alike a chance to experience one of Maui’s natural habitats. Artist Paula Sandefur will teach about drawing wetland birds 9-11am.

Then Sonny Gamponia will talk about “Wetland Wonders” 11am-noon. Visitors should check in at the visitors center and are encouraged to bring binoculars and wear appropriate sun protection clothing. 8am-3pm. Kealia Pond National Wildlife Refuge (milepost 6 on Mokulele Highway (Highway 311); 808-875-1582; Fws.gov/kealiapond.

EASTER EGG HUNT – Hop on over for Makawao Community Association’s Third Annual Easter Egg Hunt in Makawao. It’s for keiki ages five-10. The children will be released in heats depending on age groups, to make it more fun for everyone. Participants must bring their own baskets. But there will be coffee, tea, hot chocolate and pastries available for purchase. Free. 8-11am (sign-in 8-9am). Oskie Rice Rodeo Ground (Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808 572 6877; Makawaocommunity.org.

SUNDAY, MAR. 17 ‘RISE OF THE GUARDIANS’ – Snuggle up under the stars for another free family-friendly Starry Night Cinema on the MACC lawn. The feature this week is Disney/DreamWorks’ Rise of the Guardians. It’s an animated magical adventure that tells the story of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman and Jack Frost. They join forces to protect childrens’ beliefs everywhere. When the evil spirit Pitch tries to take over the world, the Guardians unite to keep dreams alive. Guests can come early for live music and dinner, which is available for purchase. Gates open 5:30pm/ Film 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org.

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 27 FULL MOON PARTY – Fleetwood’s on Front Street celebrates another full moon with a party. Practice howling from the rooftop of the Lahaina eatery while basking in Maui’s natural beauty. You may also groove to Marty Dread and DJ Dan Hills, should you wish. The moonlit lounge will be home to stargazers and night owls alike. $20.

9pm-midnight. Fleetwood’s on Front Street (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425; Fleetwoodsonfrontst.com.

LEGENDS OF THE CELTIC HARP – Celtic harpist and spoken word artist Patrick Ball didn’t discover his love for music and the Irish culture until well into his adult life. So far he’s released nine instrumental albums and three spoken word albums. Lisa Lynne a composer and premiere Celtic harpist in her own right, has crafted Billboard top 20 hits and has been featured on major television networks. Rounding out the trio, Aryeh Frankfurter, who has performed for royalty, brings his skills to the stage. Don’t miss this electrifying trio of premiere world renowned Celtic harpists. $25. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org.

MARCH 21, 2013

17

FOOD Issue The

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18 MARCH 21, 2013

1995 Main st. 2nd floor • wailuku ALL TATTOOS ARE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY 808.359.1060 www.BodyAliveYoga.com

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Film

‘Admission’ It’s a decent college comedy, but it’s no ‘Animal House’

BY BARRY WURST II

Admission ★★★★★

Rated PG-13 / 117 Min.

T

ina Fey stars as Portia, a Princeton admissions adviser whose career provides her with a cozy, isolated life of academia and independence. She finds herself drawn to a young man named Jeremiah (played by Nat Wolff) whose brilliance make him a worthy Princeton candidate. Then Jeremiah’s teacher from a nearby school (Paul Rudd) offers a bombshell revelation: Jeremiah is actually Portia’s son. Suddenly, Portia’s professional ethics and guarded demeanor are challenged by the need to become a presence in Jeremiah’s life, even as he has no idea why Portia is suddenly being so nice to him.

This is Fey’s first starring role in a film since her acclaimed 30 Rock recently ended and she starred in the mediocre

Baby Mama. While Admission is a better film than her last vehicle, it aims to dissect college hypocrisy and institutional snobbery in the same manner that Fey’s terrific Mean Girls put a microscope to the high school experience.

Mean Girls was one of the best films of its year and has become a classic, which won’t happen to the mild Admission.

While aiming to be a cutting expose of snooty academic elitism and its gatekeepers, it winds up being as soft, sweet and forgettable as the Dennis Quaid/Ellen Page comedy Smart People.

Fey’s performance is something special, as she has some tough dramatic scenes to pull off and succeeds beautifully. Never pushing too hard with the comic or serious moments, Fey once again affirms her strengths as a down to earth and fetching comic talent. She has a nice chemistry with Rudd, even though his role isn’t as prominent as you’d hope.

Rudd’s role, like everyone else’s, is more of a caricature. While it doesn’t salvage the movie completely, everyone in the supporting cast is very good at giving

Looks hilarious

life to their half-baked parts. There are fine character turns by Wallace Shawn, Gloria Reuben, Michael Sheen, Lily Tomlin (especially great at beefing up a corny character) and Wolff, who’s terrific in a breakout role.

None of the subplots, including the Fey/Rudd romance, the troubled mother/ daughter relationship or the are-youmy-son angle, lead to outcomes with any dramatic impact. While smarter than a typical romantic comedy, the movie could have been funnier. The king of this type of movie remains Wonder Boys, the 2000 Michael Douglas comedy about campus life and the academic oddballs who are brilliant but self destructive. Whereas that

film was hilarious, biting and rewarding, Admission feels neutered.

An odd problem is the editing, which tightens each scene to the point of characters not seeming to have a moment to take a breath. If director Paul Weitz was hoping for the kind of fast-paced give and take of His Girl Friday, he forgot to let it feel spontaneous.

Weitz’s recent films include About a Boy and In Good Company, superb comedies that dug deep into the lives of guarded adults. He, as well as Fey and Rudd, will bounce back from this misstep, which is too timid and lightweight to probe college hypocrisies. I’ll take Animal House any day over this. ■

Get a grip.

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MARCH 21, 2013 19

20 MARCH 21, 2013

Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: Every day until 4pm)

Dead Man Down-R-THU 11:00, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10. FRI-TUE 5:15, 10:15. WED 4:15.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation-PG13-WED 7:00, 9:30.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation 3D-PG13-WED 8:00, 10:30.

Jack The Giant Slayer-PG13-THU 11:15, 12:15, 1:45, 2:45, 4:15, 5:15, 6:45, 9:15.

FRI-TUE 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15.

WED 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15.

Jack The Giant Slayer 3D-PG13-THU 7:45, 10:15. FRI-TUE 12:15, 2:45, 7:45.

WED 11:15, 1:45.

Oz the Great and Powerful-PG-THU 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7:00, 9:45. FRI-WED 10:30, 11:45, 1:20, 2:30, 4:10, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45, 10:45.

Oz the Great and Powerful 3D-PGTHU 11:30, 2:20, 5:10, 8:00, 10:45.

FRI-TUE 11:15, 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15.

WED 11:15, 2:00, 4:45.

Snitch-PG13-THU 11:00, 2:00, 4:30, 7:10, 9:35. FRI-WED 11:00, 2:00, 4:30, 7:10, 9:35.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

21 And Over-R-THU (12:00, 2:30, 5:05),

7:30, 9:40. FRI (12:15, 2:30, 5:05), 7:25, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:30), 5:05, 7:25, 9:40. MON-WED (2:30, 5:05), 7:25, 9:40.

Admission-PG13-FRI (11:45, 2:20, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (11:45,

2:20), 4:55, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (2:20, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00.

Emperor-PG13-THU (11:40, 2:25, 4:55), 7:35, 10:00. FRI 7:05, 9:30. SATSUN 7:05, 9:30. MON-WED 7:05, 9:30.

Escape from Planet Earth-PG-THU (12:05, 2:20, 4:35), 7:00. FRI (12:05, 2:25, 4:35). SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:25), 4:35. MON-WED (2:25, 4:35).

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3DPG13-THU (4:20), 6:45, 9:05.

Identity Thief-R-THU (11:35, 2:00, 4:40), 7:20, 9:50. FRI (11:35, 4:40), 9:50. SATSUN (11:35), 4:40, 9:50. MON-WED (4:40), 9:50.

Life of Pi-PG-FRI-WED (2:45).

Life of Pi 3D-PG-THU (11:55, 5:45), 8:45.

FRI (12:00, 5:30), 8:30. SAT-SUN (12:00), 5:30, 8:30. MON-WED (5:30), 8:30.

Masquerade-Unrated-THU (11:30, 2:35, 5:30), 8:30.

Olympus Has Fallen-R-FRI (1:30, 4:20), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:20, 7:15, 9:55. MON-WED (1:30, 4:20), 7:15, 9:55.

Safe Haven-PG13-THU (11:30, 2:05, 4:50), 7:25, 9:55. FRI (2:05), 7:10. SATSUN (2:05), 7:10. MON-WED (2:05), 7:10.

Silver Linings Playbook-R-THU (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. FRI (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:15, 6:55, 9:35.

MON-WED (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35.

The Call-R-THU (11:50, 2:10, 4:30), 6:50, 9:10. FRI (11:50, 2:10, 4:25), 6:50, 9:10.

SAT-SUN (11:50, 2:10), 4:25, 6:50, 9:10.

MON-WED (2:10, 4:25), 6:50, 9:10.

The Croods-PG-FRI (11:30, 1:40, 4:00, 4:30), 6:30, 9:00, 9:25. SAT-SUN (11:30, 1:40), 4:00, 4:30, 6:30, 9:00, 9:25. MON-WED (1:40, 4:00, 4:30),

6:30, 9:00, 9:25.

The Croods 3D-PG-FRI (12:45, 2:00, 3:15, 5:45), 7:00, 8:15. SAT-SUN (12:45, 2:00, 3:15), 5:45, 7:00, 8:15. MON-WED (2:00, 3:15, 5:45), 7:00, 8:15.

The Incredible Burt WonderstonePG13-THU (11:45, 2:15, 4:45), 7:15, 9:45. FRI (11:40, 2:15, 4:45), 7:20, 9:45.

SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:15), 4:45, 7:20, 9:45.

MON-WED (2:15, 4:45), 7:20, 9:45.

Warm Bodies-PG13-THU (1:30, 3:55), 6:30, 9:00.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)

G.I. Joe: Retaliation-PG13-WED 7:00, 9:45.

Jack The Giant Slayer-PG13-THU (1:50, 4:30), 7:00, 9:40.

Oz the Great and Powerful-PG-THU (12:30, 3:30), 6:30, 9:30. FRI (12:30, 3:30), 6:30, 9:30. SAT-SUN (12:30), 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. MON-TUE (12:30, 3:30), 6:30, 9:30. WED (12:30), 3:30, 6:30, 9:30.

The Croods-PG-FRI (1:50, 4:30), 7:05, 9:40. SAT-SUN (1:50), 4:30, 7:05, 9:40.

MON-TUE (1:50, 4:30), 7:05, 9:40. WED (1:50), 4:30, 7:05, 9:40.

The Incredible Burt WonderstonePG13-THU (2:00, 4:20), 7:10, 9:45. FRI (2:00, 4:20), 7:00, 9:45. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:20, 7:00, 9:45. MON-TUE (2:00, 4:20), 7:00, 9:45. WED (2:00), 4:20. $

NEW THIS WEEK ADMISSION - PG13 - Comedy - Tina Fey and Paul Rudd star in this look at a Princeton admissions counselor who finds herself connected to a prospective new student. See this week’s film critique. 117 min.

THE CROODS - PG - Animation - A prehistoric family goes on a road trip. 98 min.

GI JOE: RETALIATION - PG-13 - Action - Bruce Willis, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and elite military unit (based on old action figures) fights bad guys. 110 min.

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN - R - Action - A cashiered Secret Service agent helps save the president after terrorists hit the White House. 120 min.

NOW PLAYING 21 AND OVER - R - Comedy - A med student celebrates his 21st birthday the night before a big exam. 93 min.

THE CALL - R - Thriller - A 911 operator faces a killer from her past to save some girl who got abducted. 95 min.

DEAD MAN DOWN - R - Crime/Drama - A woman wanting revenge on a New York crime boss seduces one of his lieutenants. Stars Noomi Rapace and Colin Farrell. 110 min.

EMPEROR - PG13 - Drama - Tommy Lee Jones and Matthew Fox star in this look at the dicey, politically charged beginning of the American occupation of post-World War II Japan. 98 min.

ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH - PG Animation - An astronaut responds to a SOS call on a dangerous alien world. 95 min.

IDENTITY THIEF - R - Comedy - A businessman searches the country for a woman who stole his identity. 111 min.

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE - PG13 - Comedy - Two superstar magicians stage a risky stunt after some street magician makes them look boring. 100 min.

JACK THE GIANT SLAYER - PG13 - Fantasy - Big budget CGI take on the classic fairy tale of a boy, magic beans and a big guy who lives in the clouds. 114 min.

LIFE OF PI - PG - Adventure - A young man survives a shipwreck only to find himself trapped in a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger. 127 min.

the dark secret that’s haunting her. 115 min.

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK - R - Drama/ Comedy - Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper star in this look at what happens when a former teacher moves back in with his parents after a stint in a mental institution. 122 min.

SNITCH - PG13 - Action/Thriller - Dwayne Johnson plays a dad who goes undercover for the DEA to help out his son, who was set up in a drug deal. Everyone got that? 112 min.

LAST CHANCE HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS - R - Fantasy/Horror - This slightly reworked take on the Brothers Grimm fairy tale finds the famous siblings as brutal bounty hunters who take down witches for fun and profit. 88 min.

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL - PG - Fantasy - A small-time magician finds himself in Oz. Stars James Franco and Rachel Weisz. 130 min.

MASQUERADE - NR - History/Drama In this South Korean film, a jester finds his uncanny resemblance to his emperor could bring him great power. (In Korean w/ English subtitles). 131 min.

SAFE HAVEN - PG 13 - Drama/Mystery/Romance - Mysterious young woman meets widower in small Southern town and starts to confront

WARM BODIES - PG-13 - Comedy - Zombie falls in love with zombie-hunter in this quirky take on a very tired genre. 97 min.

YDAY 3PM-7PM HAPPY HOUR EVER $ $

2 BUD LIGHT • 3 WELLS • 5 JAGER $

THURS

3.21

1 TACO SPECIAL

EVERYDAY 3-5PM • 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC @10PM

RAMPAGE

4TH FRIDAY AFTER FRIDAY 3.22 PARTY W/ DJ ILLZ SAT FUN LOVIN 3.23 INFIDELS @5:30PM-8PM

HOUSE@9PM-12AM SHAKERS

GINA MARTINELLI @6PM-9PM

MON

3.25

LIVE MUSIC @10PM

3.27

3.24

GOMEGA

POOL TOURNAMENT

WED

SUN

TUES

3.26

DJ BIG MIKE @9PM

MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • FOOD TIL MIDNIGHT OPEN 11AM - 1:30AM 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299 MARCH 21, 2013

21

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

BIG SHOWS MAGICIAN MARK BENNICK - Daily (except Sun & Mon). Enjoy Vegas magic from Mark Bennick at the Kupanaha’s Magic Dinner Show that includes a welcome Mai Tai, followed by a threecourse gourmet meal and tableside close-up magic. Gold Circle front row seats $89; General seating $79 for adults; $55 for teens; children 12 & under $39; ages 5 & under are free when accompanied by an adult. 4:30pm Kupanaha Stage, Ka’anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0128; kupanaha.com LOCAL VOICES: JEFF PETERSON & NATHAN AWEAU - Thu, Mar 21. See This Week’s Picks. $30/standard, $45/VIP. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org SEAN NA‘AUAO - Fri, Mar 22. See This Week’s Picks. Free. 6pm Tiki Terrace Restaurant, (2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0124; kbhmaui.com KIT KAT CLUB CABARET - Fri, Mar 22. Maui’s own Kit Kat Club brings their Coconut Island cabaret to Fleetwood’s on Front St. every Friday night for six weeks, beginning March 22nd and running through April 26th. $40 for VIP, up-close and personal, theater-style seating, and $20 for deck view.

9pm Fleetwood’s on Front St., (744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425; fleetwoodsonfrontst.com RYAN ROBINSON CD RELEASE PARTY - Fri, Mar 22. Ryan Robinson celebrates the release of his new CD, “A Couch to Call Home,” with a concert to benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs of Maui. $15 (includes a copy of new CD). 9pm Three’s Bar & Grill, (1945 S Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

THURSDAY

3/21

THURSDAY NIGHT BLUES W/ MARK JOHNSTONE & LENNY LE ENN NNY Y CAST CASTELLANOS TEL E LA LANO NOSS

6:30PM-8:30PM 30PM 8:30PM • NO COVER

MISS MEAGHAN OWENS OWEN OW ENS S 3/22 FRIDAY

6:30PM-8:30PM 6 6:3 0PM-8: 0PM 8 30P 8: 30PM M • NO COV COVER E ER SANDWICH ISLAND BASS & CHARLEY’S PRESENTS

MUNCHI

W/SPECIAL W W/ SPEC ECIA IAL L GU G GUESTS ESTS SS.I.B. .I.B.. .I

9:30PM • $10 PRESALE / $15 DOOR

TICKETS AVAILABLE AVAILAB ABLE LE AT: A WWW.CHARLEYSMAUI.COM WW WWW.C W.CHAR HARLEY LEYSMA SMAUI. UI.COM CO SATURDAY SA ATU TURRDDDAY AY KAOI & CHARLEY’S PRESENTS AY

NELSON 3/23 &LUKAS PROMISE P PROM ROMISE IS OF ISE O TH T THE E REAL 10PM • $25 COVER

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT: WWW.CHARLEYSMAUI.COM CHARLEY’S CHARLE CHA RLEY’S Y’S SSUNDAY SU UND NDAAYY

3/24

ALOHA SUNDAY BRUNCH & BLOO B BLOODY LOODY D MAR MA MARY Y BAR

FEATURING THE BEST OF LOCAL HAWAIIAN & CONTEMPORARY MUSIC 11AM-1PM•NO COVER•BREAKFAST UNITL 1PM

MONDAY

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND

3/25

OPEN MIC & JAM

TUESDAY

TACO TUESDAY W/ ERIC DOTTERER & FRIENDS

3/26

WEDNESDAY

3/27

7PM-10PM • NO COVER

SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER 6:30PM-8:3OPM • NO COVER

EVAN DOVE & FRIENDS

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

22 MARCH 21, 2013

SUPPER CLUB WITH PAULA FUGA, MIKE LOVE & SAM ITES - Sat, Mar 23. A 4-course dinner & show for $60 or $30 show only. 6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com MICHAEL POWERS TROPICAL FREQUENCY - Sat, Mar 23. A tribute to Jimi Hendrix. $7 advance, $10 door. 8pm Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; facebook.com/powersblues LUKAS NELSON & PROMISE OF THE REAL - Sat, Mar 23. An intimate live performance. Get your tickets online. $25. 10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-5798085; charleysmaui.com VINCE ESQUIRE BAND - Sat, Mar 23. No cover. 10pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com LEGENDS OF THE CELTIC HARP - Wed, Mar 27. See This Week’s Picks. $25. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org FLEETWOOD’S FULL MOON PARTY - Wed, Mar 27. See This Week’s Picks. $20. 9pm-12am Fleetwood’s on Front Street (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425; fleetwoodsonfrontst.com

STAGE ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm Maui Theatre, f.k.a.

Maui Myth & Magic Theatre, built specifically for

‘Ulalena, (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 1-877-688-4800; mauitheatre.com

Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

MAPA’S LOCKDOWN - Fri, Mar 22 through Sat, Mar 30. MAPA’s Advanced Play Production Students present Lockdown. It tells a story of “a typical day in the local high school library…until a siren sounds, the doors automatically lock, and the students discover they are trapped.” Featuring a motley crew of hackers, delinquents, surfer dudes, and prom queens. It has been dubbed “The Breakfast Club” for today’s teens.” 3/22-23, 3/29-30 at 7:30pm and 3/24 at 2pm. $12 for adults and $8 for seniors and students (18 and under). 7:30-9:30pm Steppingstone Playhouse, (Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-244-8760; mauiacademy.org

LUKAS NELSON & PROMISE OF THE REAL - Sat, Mar 30. An intimate live performance. Get your tickets online. $25. 10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-5798085; charleysmaui.com

FOODIE VINEYARD FOOD CO.’S BENEFIT DINNERS - Fri, Mar 22 and Sat, Mar 23 - Delicious dinners to benefit Maui Memorial Medical Center’s S.E.E.D. Campaign. Includes an appetizer, salad, entree & sides, dessert and beverage of choice or BYOB (beer & wine only). See website for menu details. Seatings 5:30pm & 7:15pm. $35 (reservations recommended). Vineyard Food Company, (1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku); 808-243-3663; chefg@maui.net; vineyardfoodcompany.com DINNER WITH PACIFIC WHALE FOUNDATION’S PRESIDENT AND FOUNDER, GREG KAUFMAN - Fri, Mar 22. A four-course, wine-paired dinner with Greg Kaufman, Pacific Whale Foundation’s President and Founder. The dinner is a benefit for Pacific Whale Foundation’s humpback whale research in Hawaii. It will be served in the warm and intimate dining room of Porto, Pacific Whale Foundation’s Mediterranean-inspired restaurant located at the Ma’alaea Harbor Shops. The event is limited to just 30 guests. $79.95 per person, exclusive of gratuities. 5:30-7:30pm Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-249-8811; pacificwhalestore.org

TICKETS ON SALE SUPPER CLUB WITH ERIN SMITH & THE THROWDOWNS - Fri, Mar 29. Catch 3-time Na Hoku Hanohano nominated alternative rock band, The Throwdowns, in a rare acoustic performance.

They will be performing all their radio hits plus some new surprises! $30 show at 7:30pm, $60 dinner & show at 6pm. 7:30am-10pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; thethrowdowns.com/shows BILL COSBY - Fri, Mar 29. An evening with comedic legend, Bill Cosby. $45, $55, $75, $85, $115.

7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org ROBIN & LINDA WILLIAMS - Fri, Mar 29. Enjoy an evening with bluegrass/country folk/gospel icons and prominent stars of Garrison Keillor’s “A Prairie Home Companion” on National Public Radio, Robin and Linda Williams. $35/standard, $45/ Gold Circle seats (plus applicable fees). 7:30pm McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org SUPPER CLUB WITH JOHN CRUZ - Sat, Mar 30. A 4-course dinner & show for $60 or $30 show only. 6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com ART=MIXX: FOREST - Sat, Mar 30. Art=Mixx is a multisensory, interactive mixer with art-making activities, video displays, music, dancing, food and amazing acts. Sponsored by the County of Maui. Save the date: Free (21 & over). 7pm-12am

MAUI ONSTAGE SNEAK PEEK - Sat, Apr 6.

Join Maui OnStage for the 2013-14 season announcement in Oceanside, Kihei. Get an exclusive sneak peek at next year’s season while enjoying eclectic entertainment, Broadway seasoned food, jazzy music and a few surprises!. $125 per person / $1,125 table of 10 (all inclusive - cocktails, pupus, dinner, dessert & entertainment).

5-9pm Oceanside, (Private location); 808-2426969; mauionstage.com MAPA PRESENTS “FRESHER AHI” - Fri, Apr 12 through Sun, Apr 28. The sequel to last year’s hit production of the local comedy Lesser Ahi, features the return of Andrew, Anden, Tutu, Jesse and the whole whacky Ahi ‘ohana. Written by and starring Derek Nakagawa and Francis Tau’a. Fri & Sat: 7:30pm and Sun: 2pm. Steppingstone Playhouse, (Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-244-8760; mauiacademy.org

POLITICAL EVENTS MARCH IN MARCH TO EVICT MONSANTO FROM MAUI - Sat, Mar 23. Marching from War Memorial Stadium to Whole Foods and back.

Part of the 5 island march in March, on a different island each Saturday in March. Free. 12pm War Memorial Stadium, (700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku)

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAR 21 EASTER BUNNY PHOTOS - Now through March 30. The big bunny himself will be on hand for Spring-themed photos. 10am-5pm Queen Kaahumanu Center, (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com ART SHOW: JACK HAMILTON - See Jack Hamilton demonstrate and share his particular style. You can also view his recent work, “Small View - Long View”, a collection of miniature oil and acrylic paintings and panoramic view of Maui’s beautiful beaches and upcountry scenes in the gallery all month long. Free. 10am-1pm Maui Hands, Makawao, (1169 Makawao); 808-5799245; mauihands.com PICNIC FOR POKI - Roselani Place and Ola Na Mele Productions invite you to a Hawaiian music concert featuring the Brown Ohana. Brothers Sheldon and Kevin Brown, along with fellow bassist and friend Joe Bommarito will be their guest entertainers in March. Fresh baked cookies, coffee, and water will be for sale. Attendees should bring a lawn chair or mat and their lunch and most importantly, bring a friend. Free. 11am Historic Ka’ahumanu Church, (103 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-871-7720; diane@roselaniplace.com ART SHOW: MORT LUBY - Meet oil and watercolor artist Mort Luby and view his collection of current works that are on display. Free. 2-4pm Maui Hands, Kaanapali, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka’anapali); 808-667-7997; mauihands.com

FRIDAY, MAR 22 KAPALUA SPA WELLNESS MONTH EVENTS - Fri, Mar 22 at 4pm: Healthy Treats cooking demo

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/21

3/22

3/23

3/24

3/25-3/27

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

DigiLuxe w/ DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

4th Friday After Party with DJ La Rage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm

Kaboom!! w/ DJ Irie Dole Reggae, Dance Hall, Island Vibes, 9:30pm; $5 cover

Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo Salsa Y Latin Beat 10pm; $10 cover

DJ Zapper with DJ Sweet Beets & DJ Dat Girl 9:30pm; $10 cover

Drum Circle - A partial benefit to ‘Women Helping Women’, 2pm; $10

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after

Blues with Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos, 6:308:30pm; no cover

Munchi with special guests, Sandwich Island Bass, 9:30pm; $10-15

Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real 10pm; $25

Aloha Sunday Brunch & Bloody Mary Bar w/ Nahimene, 11am-1pm

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7-10pm / TUE - Eric Dotterer & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm / WED Evan Dove & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm (no cover)

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Rampage 10pm; no cover

4th Friday After Party with DJ Illz, 9pm

Fun Lovin Infidels, 5:30pm House Shakers, 9pm

Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool Tournament, 5pm / WED - DJ Big Mike, 9pm

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Keegan Smith from Oregon, 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON - Amy’s Mix, 10pm / TUE - Keegan Smith from Oregon, 10pm / WED - Big John, 10pm

Wilson & Friends 6:30-9pm no cover

Kit Kat Club Cabaret 9pm; $20-40

Salsa Saturdays w/ Dr. Nat, 6:30-9pm no cover

Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm; no cover

MON - Scott & Allen / TUE - Thunder & Lightnin’ / WED - Marty Dread (all 6:30-9pm)

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Rootz N Creation 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - DJ Daizy, 9pmclose / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm; no cover

Evan Shulman 6-9pm; no cover

ALOHA FRIDAY MUSICAL JAM - In partnership with Hawai’i on TV, each Friday a different musical style is featured by local artists. Experience Maui at its best! Free. 11:30am-1:30pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B, Kahului); 808872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

SATURDAY, MAR 23

KUMU KAHUA THEATRE: FISHING FOR WIVES - See This Week’s Picks. Today and Saturday. $22. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808242-7469; mauiarts.org

RECYCLING EVENT IN KIHEI - Recycling agencies will be on hand to accept scrap metal, bicycles, appliances, beverage containers, cooking oil, cellular phones, household batteries, vehicle batteries, laptop batteries, printer cartridges, newspaper, cardboard, telephone books, magazines, used eye glasses, hearing aids, books, reusable paint, clothing and household items. Call for details. Azeka Plaza, (Enter from Uluniu Street behind Ace Hardware, Kihei); 808-877-2524; cwdhawaii.org

“HONORING TRADITION” EXHIBIT RECEPTION - Meet artists Christina Cowan, Michael Clements, and Joseph Fletcher at their opening reception of “Honoring Tradition.” Free. 5pm Viewpoints Gallery, (3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-5979; viewpointsgallerymaui.com

MAKAWAO COMMUNITY ASSOCIATION’S EASTER EGG HUNT - See This Week’s Picks.

Free. 8-11am (sign-in 8-9am) Oskie Rice Rodeo Ground, (Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-572-6877; makawaocommunity.org

KIHEI FOURTH FRIDAY TOWN PARTY - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 6pm-9pm. Azeka Shopping Center, (1279 S Kihei Rd.), kiheifridays.com

ROSELANI PLACE FIFTH ANNUAL RUMMAGE SALE - See This Week’s Picks. 8am12pm Roselani Place, (88 S. Papa Ave., Kahului); 808-871-7720; roselaniplace.com

PAINT AND SIP - Come relax and create. Artists Heather Burton and Pua Logan will instruct you step by step to create a one of a kind piece of art and hopefully instill in you a desire to continue creating. Meet new friends or bring your group. This fun paint and sip art session is for anyone. All painting supplies are provided.

BYOB. Email or call to register, space is limited.

MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Toxic Tuesday w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm / WED - Jacked Up w/ DJ J-Zen, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover

$35, $30 teacher discount. 6:30-9pm Private location, 808-250-5281; MauiPaintingExcursions. com; heather@heathersart.com

STELLA BLUES’ KIHEI TOWN PARTY - Fri, Mar 22. Live music from Ahumanu 4-7pm, Michael Powers (Blues Played from New York) 7:30930pm and Bengali 10pm-12:30am. Free. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-8743779; stellablues.com

Volcanic with DJ Playwfire Ono 10pm; no cover

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

with Chef Kyle Kawakami. Sat, Mar 23 at 5:30pm: Complimentary Movie Night; “First Glide” - The History of Paddleboarding. Tue, Mar 26 at 11am: “Change your Water, Change your Life” by Greg Fahlman, Molecular Hydration Specialist. Wed, Mar 27 at 5pm: Naturopathic Health - The Healing Powers of Nature by Dr. Nancy Lins, Naturopathic Physician. Kapalua Spa, (100 Bay Dr.); 1-866941-KSPA; kapaluaspa.com

ART SHOW: SCOTT MEAD - Meet the artist and check out his display, “The Adventurous Photography of Scott Mead.” Free. 4:30-7:30pm Maui Hands, Lahaina, (612 Front St., Ste. D); 808-6679898; mauihands.com

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

MAUI HEART WALK - See This Week’s Picks.

Keopuolani Park, (In front of the Boys & Girls Club, Kahului); heart.org SEASONAL SATURDAY AT KEALIA POND - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 8am-3pm Kealia Pond National Wildlife Refuge, (Mile 6 Mokulele Highway, Kihei); 808-875-1582 HO’OMAU - See This Week’s Picks. $10 in advance; $15 at the gate. 9am-6pm Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); 808244-5676; hoomau.com; kili@ahapunanaleo.org EASTER EGG HUNT - Children ages 5 and

younger, accompanied by a parent or caregiver, are invited to bring their own basket to search for colorful plastic eggs containing one small surprise (sticker, chocolate, temporary tattoo) in the Children’s area. Free. 10am Kihei Public Library, (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-875-6833 WHITE BOAT PARTY MAUI - A sexy party bringing together fabulous women from all around the world. Chill, swim, snorkel & dance to deep, sexy house, dance and lounge beats that DJ Maui Babe will spin for you. A party for women by women, simply not to be missed. Purchase your tickets on our website. Reduced admission and general admission tickets available now on website.

Skype: BoatPartyMaui. $35/$45. 4-7pm Friendly Charters Lani Kai, (395 Ma‘alaea Boat Harbor, Slip 76); boatpartymaui.com HAWAIIAN MOONLIGHT BENEFIT CONCERT - The Maui Historical Society and friends will host their monthly fundraiser concert series, “Hawaiian Moonlight” featuring George Kahumuku Jr and friends who volunteer their talent, and organize stage performances of Hawaiian music as their way of “giving back” to the Bailey House Museum. Bring your blanket or a low back beach chair and enjoy the evening listening to music under the moon and stars. Limited seating is available for kupuna on a first-come first-seated basis. $20.00 for Maui Historical Society members and $25.00 for non-members. 6-9pm Bailey House Museum, (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 808-2443326; mauimuseum.org; info@MauiMuseum.org OPENING RECEPTION OF THE PRINTMAKINGS OF TANIA ARENS AND KANDI EVERETT - Come by Paia Tattoo Parlor for an evening of art, drink and mingling while you explore printmaking with the parlor’s own Tania Arens and visiting artist Kandi Everett, two seasoned printmaking tattooers. Free. 7pm Paia Tattoo Parlor, (120 Hana Hwy.); paiatattooparlor.com PET ADOPTIONS WITH HARF - Join the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation (HARF) for a very special opportunity to rescue your next best friend!

Every Saturday, HARF will bring animals in need

of a good home.For more info, see websites or call. 10am-4pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-446-4126; and 10am-4pm Petco, (270 Dairy Road, #144, Kahului); 808-876-0022; hawaiiananimalrescue.org YMCA CAMP KEANAE’S YE OLDE HAWAIIAN RENAISSANCE FAIRE - See This Week’s Picks. Today and Sunday. Adults $10; youth (age 5-15) $5; keiki (age 4 & under) free, family/ohana (2 adults + minor children) $25. 10am-6pm YMCA Camp Keanae, (13375 Hana Hwy.); 808-248-8355; ymca. net; andy@ymcacampkeanae.org EGGSTRAVAGANZA FUN - Saturday’s activities include sampling egg dishes and recipes, fool-proof tips for boiling eggs, natural egg dyeing demo at noon and more! And on Sunday, join WFM for a special Egg Hunt. Explore the store to find beautiful decorated eggs filled with chocolate and more. Plus find the Golden egg for a special prize and drawing for a Whole Foods Market Gift Card. Free. All ages welcome. 11am Whole Foods Market, (70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

SUNDAY, MAR 24 STARRY NIGHT CINEMA: “RISE OF THE GUARDIANS” - See This Week’s Picks.

Free. 7-9pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MONDAY, MAR 25 WHALE WATCHING - The Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will provide a whale watching info booth at the Aquarium’s Harbor Plaza throughout whale season. Join expert volunteers at the Sanctuary’s booth as they share fascinating facts about Humpbacks and help you with spotting whales and interpreting their majestic behaviors! Overlooking Ma’alaea Bay, Harbor Plaza is the perfect place to watch for whales. 9am-1pm Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7000; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

MARCH 21, 2013 23

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI!

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT FAST FORWARD WITH DJ KURT

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

THURSDAY MARCH 21ST REGGAE THURSDAY

KABOOM! REGGAE

DJ IRIE DOLE

+ DANCE

HALL

+ ISLAND

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

THURSDAY

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $5 COVER

NETO & BARBARA

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $10 COVER

DR. NAT & RIO RITMO SALSA Y LATIN BEAT

SATURDAY MARCH 23RD DJ SWEET BEETS

+

DJ DAT GIRL

+

TECHNO LOUNGE FUNK HOUSE

SUNDAY MARCH 24TH

A JOEL SUAREZ PRODUCTION

7:30-10PM

LIVE

ROCK N BLUES MUSIC WITH HARRY

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $10 COVER

DJ ZAPPER

LIVE SALSA MUSIC W/

FRIDAY

VIBES

FRIDAY MARCH 22ND

1819 S. KIHEI RD. • 891.2414 11AM-2AM DAILY • DINNER ‘TIL 10PM

SHOW STARTS AT 2PM $10 DONATION

DRUM CIRCLE A PARTIAL BENEFIT TO ‘WOMEN HELPING WOMEN’

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

7:30-10PM • NO COVER

SATURDAY LIVE SALSA MUSIC W/

NETO & BARBARA 7:30-10PM

TUESDAY TACO TUESDAYS: 4-10PM Corona, $2.50 DosTacos, XX & Pacificos

VOTED BEST

TATTOO SHOP

BY M AU I LO C A L S !

579.8515

120 HANA HWY • UPSTAIRS PAIATATOOPARLOR.COM

ALL NEW SHOW

Guitar Auc Signefidt Hawaii Public tRion

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Tony Novak-Clifford Photo

HARD ROCK AND MAUI TRIBE PRESENT ;en^`kZll( <hngmkr ?hed( @hli^e B\hgl Robin and Linda Williams Zk^ ma^ ikhfbg^gm lmZkl h_ Garrison Keillor’s “A Prairie Home Companion.” ?hk fhk^ maZg mak^^ ]^\Z]^l ghp% Kh[bg Ebg]Z PbeebZfl aZo^ fZ]^ bm ma^bk fbllbhg mh i^k_hkf ma^ fnlb\ maZm ma^r eho^% Z kh[nlm [e^g] h_ [en^`kZll% _hed% he]&mbf^ Zg] Z\hnlmb\ \hngmkr maZm \hf[bg^l pkrer h[l^koZgm erkb\l pbma Z pb]^&kZg`bg` f^eh]b\blf'

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24 MARCH 21, 2013

WILLIE K BLUES REVUE Featuring Mike Carroll & More!

$45 DINNER SHOW PACKAGE. RESERVATIONS REQUIRED FOR SEATING 667-2578.

DINNER INCLUDES: CHOICE OF FRESH HOUSE OR CAESAR SALAD, CHOICE OF SIRLOIN STEAK, FRESH ISLAND FISH, BLACKENED CHICKEN PASTA, OR VEGGIE FAJITA. MINI DESSERT AND COFFEE, TEA OR A SOFT DRINK. 2 DRINK MINIMUM FOR BAR AREA SEATING DURING SHOW.

SATURDAY | MAR. 30TH | 7PM

F:NB :KML <NEMNK:E <>GM>K u F<<HR LMN=BH MA>:M>K HG> <:F>KHG P:R & D:ANENB 2/02, =hhkl3 03))IF u Lahp3 03,)IF KEEPING THE

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The Best Of Maui

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/21

3/22

3/23

3/24

3/25-3/27

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

JAY’S PLACE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHANA GRILL 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Ste. 301, Kahana - 669-4000

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Kawika’s Krew 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo Acoustic Guitar, 7-9pm; no cover

Jazz feat. Ellen Bellerose & Shiro Mori, 3:30-6:30pm

Garrett Probst Acoustic Guitar, 9:30-11:30pm

1810 6:30-8:30; no cover

Willie K. 9-11pm; $5 cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

Maui Blues & Co. or Jarod 7pm; no cover

MON - Red Fish / TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herbs & Side Effects (7pm)

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - Ladies Night, 10pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke 2pm-2am; no cover

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR

TUE - Free Karaoke, 2pm-2am; no cover

Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues Co., 7:30-10pm

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

Live Music 7:30-10pm; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

MON-TUE - Farzad & Mike Madden / WED Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

Live Music 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

WED - Karaoke

Howard Ahia 6-9pm; no cover

Allure: Spring Break Luau 10pm; $10 cover

MON - SIN w/ DJ Blast, 8pm / TUE - Trivia Night, 8pm / WED - Karaoke w/ Dave, 10pm

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Murray Thorne, 6:30-8:30pm DJ Del, 9pm-12am (no cover)

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Michael Powers Tribute to Hendrix, 8pm-12am; $7-10

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-8:30pm; no covr

TUE - Brenton Keith Magic Show, 7-8pm WED - Willie K, 7-9pm; $65 dinner & show

OCEANS BAR & GRILL

Live Salsa Music w/ Neto & Barbara, 7:30-10pm

Live Rock n Blues Music with Harry, 7:30-10pm

Live Music with Neto and Barbara, 7:30-10pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

TUESDAY, MAR 26 5% COMMUNITY SUPPORT DAY LEILANI FARM SANCTUARY - Shop at Whole Foods Market Kahului to support Leilani Farm Sanctuary. Five percent of the day’s sales will be donated to support their ongoing efforts to provide refuge for abused and neglected animals. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B, Kahului); 808872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui ULTIMATE WHALEWATCH - Learn firsthand what it is like to be a whale researcher on a personally guided group tour. This is a special opportunity to interact with Pacific Whale Foundation’s researchers and marine biologists. For info and reservations, please call.

7:30-11:30am Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808249-8811 ext. 1.; pacificwhalestore.org

WEDNESDAY, MAR 27 ART SHOW: AMANDA SCOTT - Maui Hands presents figurative painter, Amanda Scott. A great selection of watercolors and acrylics on display all month. Free. 1-4pm Maui Hands, Paia, (84 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-9245; mauihands.com OCCUPY MAUI MEETING - The group’s focus is on foreclosure laws and environmental problems. They want to hear about your issues. Simply attend one of their weekly Wed. meetings to get involved. Free. 5-7pm At Freedom Lawn or Pavilion at UH Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); occupymaui.com WRITING CLASSES - Jasmyne Boswell, author, teacher and coach, offers beginner, intermediate and advanced writing classes. Sessions start today and Thursday. Join interesting, creative men and women who offer talent, camaraderie and support for the optimal writing experience.

6-week session $195. (Private location); 808268-5807; jasmyneconsulting.com

MAUI SMUG - The In-Real-Life Forum for All Social Media Users on Maui. Capacity is limited.

Be sure to register early. Free (Not Catered).

4-6:30pm MEDB’s Malcom Center, (1305 North Holopono Street, Suite 1, Kihei); mauismug.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Sun, Emily Joyce 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm.

(130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

FIVE PALMS LAHAINA - Daily, Live Entertainment Nightly 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937.

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Sat, Salsa Saturdays w/ Dr. Nat: Latin/Salsa 6:30-9pm.

(744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm.

(900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon & Ron 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku & Peter DeAquino 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Kulewa 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika, Roy & Albert 6:30pm; Sat, Ron, Ikaika & Damon 1:30pm; Sat, Damon/Ron/Keali’i 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian Trio 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J); 808-661-4495.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai); 808-667-0787.

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Ka’i Ala D., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

KAHANA GRILL - Fri, Jazz Maui Featuring Ellen Bellerose and Shiro Mori 3:30-6:30pm; Sat, Ray Gooliak Acoustic Guitar 7-9pm; Thu, Johnny Ringo Acoustic Guitar 7-9pm. (4405 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy Ste. 301); 808-669-4000.

KIMO’S - Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm; Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Fri, Willie K ($5 cover). 6:30-8:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm.

(730 Front St.); 808-661-0700.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm.

(843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2); 808-667-6655.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr.); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #A1); 808-661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400.

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Gretchen 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Gretchen 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:30-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm.

(658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

MARCH 21, 2013 25

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3/24

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PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

70s, 80s 10pm-1am; no cover

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Big John / TUE - Industry Night / WED - Open Entertainment Night (all 10pm)

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Justin 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Gretchen, 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover

Rob+Ron=R2 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

Andy Kaina & The Kaina Kountry Band, 8:30pm

Ah-Tim 4-6pm; no cover Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm.

(5900 Lower Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt 8pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: Four Weddings & A Funeral 7:30pm.

(1913 S. Kihei Rd); 808-891-1011.

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm.

(300 Ma‘alaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

(555 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-879-2224.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm; Sat, Jordan T. 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Emily Joice 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Piikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve

Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke 4pm; no cover

MON - Mahalo Monday / TUE - Free Pool, 6pm / WED - Big Karaoke Party, 8:30pm

4th Friday Town Party: Ahumanu, Michael Powers & Bengali, 4pm-12am

Paula Fuga Supper Club, 6pm; $60 / Vince Esquire Band, 10pm; no cover

Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; no cover

MON - Mike Finkiewicz, 4-6pm; no cover TUE - Power Up Comedy Open Mic, 8:30pm WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm; no cover

Uncle Dirty 9pm-1am; $4 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 7pm; no cover

TUE - Free Arcade, 7pm / WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover

Ryan Robinson Band CD Release Party, 10pm; $15

Innavision 10pm; $5

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles’ Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions, 10pm (All sets no cover)

1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10pm)

Karaoke 7pm; no cover

THREE’S BAR & GRILL TIFFANY’S

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm.

(2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm; Fri Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun (brunch), Hale Manu 9:30am-12:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Tue, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm.

(5400 Makena Alanui); 808-874-1111.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alejandro 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322.

MONSOON INDIA - Sat, Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, The Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-4555.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 6:308:30pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:30-6:30pm; Wed, Willie K 7-9pm; Tue, Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Mon, Twisted Hips Belly Dancing 6-8pm; Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:307:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT - Thu, Karaoke 7pm; Wed, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7pm. (41 E. Lipoa St., Suite 15, Kihei); 808-874-5115.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm;

Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:309pm; Every Tue, Thu, Fri & Sat, Acoustic with Chad Kaya 5-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073.

WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku).

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Blues with Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Eric Dotterer & Friends 6:308:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm.

(810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR Sat, Live music 7:30-10pm; Fri, Blues Jam hosted

by Maui Blues & Co. 7:30-10pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Thu, Troublemakers Trio 7-10:30pm; Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770.

PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-3111.

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Horoscope

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Last night’s dream continued my recent subconscious theme of interacting with ancient gods. In it, I lived in the Reformatory for Naughty Mortals. Thor, as a punishment for screwing around with sexy humans, had been assigned to guard us, and was forced to wear a gruesome-looking chastity device. Sound familiar? I deleted my earlier metaphor for you (something about a leashed dog with a bowl of food just out of reach) in favor of this one, because your current power levels are much more godly than canine.

In other words, try not to focus on the one thing you can’t have—the rest of the world is at your fingertips.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Although you’re not going to like it, I have an obligation to reveal your latest (thankfully temporary) superpower: the ability to attract what you despise. The people who provoke you the most will be irresistibly drawn to your side. Don’t get aggravated when your most reliable pest-repellant tactics—ranging from biting sarcasm, blatant rudeness, and underhanded friendliness—miss their marks. In fact, the more you want them to go, the more likely they’ll be magnetized to you. There’s one way to circumvent this unfortunate influence: let go of the negative emotions that are its power source.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) While positive reinforcement is certainly one way to encourage desired behavior, be it in pets, children, or spouses, it’s not always the most effective. This wellintentioned technique often misses the mark, based as it is on the oft-mistaken assumption that your “trainee” is eager to please you before himself. You may not like having to determine and maintain boundaries, but, considering your goals, it’s necessary. Try to overcome this idea you’ve been nurturing—that optimistic dreamcreation requires unrelenting positivism. Sometimes, the kindest, most affirmative thing you can do is be clear: and that at least occasionally involves saying no.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Shifting between circumstances requires adjustment. I call the process of settling into your new, altered version of reality “landing.” Sometimes, like visiting a different time zone for two days, it’s not worth the bother. But you’ve been avoiding situations that require that kind of internal recalibration for far too long. I sympathize, but since you’re being inexorably pushed closer to making an unavoidable, irreversible leap, I suggest that you get accustomed to the sun rising and setting at totally different times. There are so many paths you could take right now. Choose wisely: the destination that most closely resembles your deepest and most secret fantasies, no matter how “unrealistic,” is the one you should take.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Let go of the outcome. It’s so easy for you opinionated Lions to see where you want things to go. Because you’re powerful, capable people, it’s also simple to try to manipulate the situation to turn into exactly the scenario you envisioned. There is a time and place to use this potent capability—and also situations that will only be poisoned by it. This week, telling the difference is vital to your happiness, as is being able to do or say what’s true instead of what you think will yield the outcome you want. While there’s no guarantee, this is really the only path to what you desire. Forcing things to go your way will only produce very temporary results. Letting go of the outcome means it could go any which way—but if it goes the way you’d hoped, you’ll know it’s real, and likely to last—which is really what you want, right?

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) This week should have you feeling safer and more content than a cat curled in a patch of sunlight. Enjoy the comfort; however, don’t let that pleasant lassitude take over your life. Sometimes, it’s better to tackle distasteful tasks when you’re happy than when you’re crappy.

Although it’s tempting to use your good mood as an excuse (“I don’t want to spoil it”), don’t. That reasoning is easier to overcome than the more valid justifications you’ll come up with when you’re feeling low and overwhelmed.

Instead of occupying either extreme, find the balance between soaking up the bliss and expunging your To-Do list.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions from page 4

1: B–$37 million 2: C–6.3 percent.

3: E–7.9 percent.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) There’ll be no vine-swinging, chest-beating, hairpulling Tarzan hijinks for you this week, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have adventures. Sure, you’ve been a bit hooked on the primitive animal escapades that have been so much fun in recent weeks, but now step up your exploratory ambitions and inject a little class into your escapades: infuse them with more Bond charisma than bootie aroma. I’m surprised a luxury-lover like you hasn’t made the switch before now: While there’s something to be said for screwing in the woods, for you it can’t possibly beat making love on water beds while you wait for room service.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) The human eye contains two kinds of photoreceptors: rods and cones. The vastly more numerous rods are more light-sensitive than the cones, but can’t distinguish colors the way cones can, which is why colors are less discernible at night. If it were possible, I’d love to give you a temporary infusion of extra cones, to cure you of your recent tendency to see things in black and white. Besides all the delightfully subtle shades of gray you’re missing, some vivid splashes of Technicolor could dramatically change your perspective on some key situations. If you intend to keep your reputation as a social genius, reattune yourself to take into account all the intricacies involved, not just the broad strokes.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) You can feel it, can’t you? Spring’s lovely, abundant pleasures loom. You’re almost drooling with anticipation of the romping adventures that surely lie ahead.

However, you have at least one more significant task before you can ditch your obligations and get down with the good stuff. I can’t stress this enough: don’t procrastinate. You are masters of avoidance. However, this particular duty will only become more odious over time. Give yourself the gift of being able to enjoy the coming months without some weighty responsibility hanging over your head. Get it out of the way this week; it’ll never be easier to do than right now.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) In order to remind himself, daily, of the importance of trust, my Capricorn friend Chris is tattooing “The universe is here to help you,” on his dick. While you may cringe at his bold move, you should consider doing something similar.

It takes strength to unlearn old habits, especially those of distrust and fear. Just making a mental note or slapping a post-it on the fridge probably won’t be enough to shake you free of ancient mental shackles. Your liberation solution may be different than Chris’; still, I urge you to discover exactly what it’s going to take, and do it.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) In my continuing quest to make you inhabit your body instead of living lost inside your thoughts, I encourage you to notice your health. Usually, you either take it for granted or privately complain about what’s not working as it ought to. There’s a middle ground between these two extremes, my dear Aquarius. Well-being is a luxury, notwithstanding the sense of entitlement you have about it. If you’re feeling fine, actually notice and appreciate that this week; if you’re not, make doing whatever you must to glow with valued vigor your top priority.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) No one is as good at simultaneously frustrating and inspiring me as you, Pisces. You’ve mastered the art of confounding me even while I can’t get enough of you.

That’s wonderful, and exactly the kind of paradox you’re best at. Your symbol is two tethered fish, swimming in opposite directions. While that’s often interpreted (and manifested) as conflicting internal motivations that result in you going exactly nowhere, it can also be the depiction of the kind of magic that happens when you embrace contradiction, and ride it to the next place on your journey—sometimes carrying bewildered and exhilarated passengers, like me, with you.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

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