15.51 The Cost Of Doing Business, June 7, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 51, MauiTime

JUNE 7, 2012 + VOLUME 15 + ISSUE 51 + FREE

THE CO$ T

OF DOING BUSINESS

Faced with years of fear, frustration and foreclosure, Kihei residents Marcy and Lawrence Crilley decided to sue Bank of America. Here’s how their case is proceeding.

PAGE 10

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JUNE 7, 2012

Contents VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

Who flies your favorite flag?

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Japan

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter The so-called “Benin Empire”

Food, Drink, Lifestyle, & Business News Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Dominican Republic

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Pirates

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Wrigley Field), Christina Tarleton

Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Jamaica

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Referrees

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Brazil

Calendar Assistants: Jenna Schamber (House Targaryen), Ivy Damasco calendar@mauitime.com

Proofreader: Dina Wilson Hawaii

Office Assistant: Sara Riley (808) 244-0777

Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown

Interns: Megan Hazen (Wales), Emily Tram

✚

READER FEEDBACK

ISSUE 51

BY READERS LIKE YOU

ON THE COVER: Marcy Crilley, photographed by Sean M Hower. Cover design by Darris Hurst.

4 NEWS & VIEWS 10 FEATURE STORY 13 EAT & DRINK 17 THIS WEEK’S PICKS 19 FILM CRITIQUE 21 FILM TIMES 22 DA KINE CALENDAR 23 THE GRID 28 CLASSIFIED 29 HOROSCOPE 31 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2012 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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LOVES PICK, HATES PIC

Thank you for posting my event “Breast Cancer Fund Benefit at Flatbread in Paia” (Picks of the Week, May 31, 2012). I appreciate the prominent spot in your publication. I read MTW every week and always enjoy it.

However, I just had to comment that the photo was a little bit in poor taste.

Women lose their breasts to breast cancer. They don’t need to see some giant bolt-ons reminding them of what they have lost or might lose. Sex does not necessarily sell in this case. Also, I believe my text went something like this: “Climbing is both a personal endeavor to honor the courage it takes to face breast cancer and a collective effort to prevent the disease.” Your text seemed to imply that breasts are like mountains.

I can only venture a guess that the copy was written by a man.

Ah well. Again, I DO truly appreciate the uh, exposure, and I’m sure my event will be highly attended.

- Marie DeJournette, via email

YOU’RE WELCOME!

Jen Russo is an amazing writer!

Thank you, love. She captured the essence of me and my work very well (“The Ultraviolets,” May 31, 2012).

-Rachel Deboer, via Mauifeed.com

MORE MVB TALK

Certain residents seem to forget that 75 percent of all jobs on Maui are directly or indirectly related to the visitor industry. They either believe we have too many tourists or “everybody already knows about Maui” so we don’t have to spend any money to promote tourism to our island. Reality check: no tourists, no jobs! Plain and simple!

If we experience a drop in visitors, businesses will fire people. Reduced

revenue equals reduced staff.

The Maui Visitors Bureau has come under fire recently for allegedly receiving too much taxpayer money and not being “transparent” enough (“This year Terryl Vencl wants the County to give the Maui Visitors Bureau $3.5 million,” May 17, 2012). MVB is doing a great job increasing visitors to our island. These are taxpayer funds well spent. Tourists are paying everyone’s salary.

As for the complaint that MVB shouldn’t be spending so much to promote Maui, that same logic says that Coca Cola, McDonald’s, Toyota and Apple should reduce their advertising because everybody already knows who they are. It doesn’t work that way. Vacationers need constant Maui reminders.

We also need to reach new travelers, folks in their 20’s, who will be making their first vacation choices that could very well bring them back to Maui every year for the rest of their lives.

We need to support the efforts of the MVB and not vilify them. All of our jobs and the health of our island, like it not, are totally dependent on our visitor industry. If we get smug and complacent and reduce our promotional footprint, vacationers will, assuredly, go elsewhere.

- Bob Pure, via email In this economy where people are struggling to feed their families, the $3.5 million of taxpayer money to MVB is criminal. This year alone our truck registration went up, a staggering $79.(not a commercial vehicle)! The money to fund this $3.5 million grant is definitely coming from us everyday taxpayers. Shameful!!!!

-Hope Tavares, via MauiTime.com We do not need a “visitors” bureau for this kind of money. Pure rubbish, taxes are better spent elsewhere. I mean really in this day and age do we need this on such a large budget? Who hasn’t heard of Maui, Hawaii by now is living under a rock. In the internet age I don’t believe people really need this kind of wasteful agency.

What are you telling people that they don’t already know. The status quo on Maui continues because nobody says no to anybody... cronyism at its best.

And no, tourism will survive without you, the ever present carrot of fear they like to throw out at budget time! And $150,000.00 salary? Shameful.

-Anonymous, via MauiTime.com

Send your feedback

to the editor

editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

JUNE 7, 2012

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1. On June 2, The Maui News reported briefly that former Maui Police Officer Paul Bailey had been indicted. What were the charges, according to the article?

A. Four counts of third-degree sexual assault against a 15-year-old girl.

B. Four counts of third-degree burglary against a variety of tourists.

C. Four counts of arson against numerous rental vehicles.

D. Four counts of fraud involving bad checks.

The West Maui Skatepark, which opened to great fanfare in late April, suddenly closed for three days this week. Why, according to county officials, did this happen?

A. The park wasn’t built right in the first place, and needed to be repaired.

B. The park opening was rushed, and some small details needed to be finished.

C. There was a murder at the park, and police crime scene investigators didn’t want to be disturbed.

D. A film crew needed to film some skate sequences for a new movie.

See answers, page 29

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Eroding Beaches

SEA CHANGE IN HAWAII AND THE WORLD Not sure if you noticed it, what with all the stories and hype about how we’re in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, but there was a pretty scary Associated Press story in the June 3 Maui News. Titled “Rising seas have towns wondering: Stay or go?,” the story detailed efforts in and around Los Angeles to deal with the fact– yes, I said fact–that the Pacific Ocean is consuming beaches around the world at a growing but still measurable rate.

“Up and down the California coast, some communities are deciding it’s not worth trying to wall off the encroaching ocean,” reported Alice Chang. “Until recently, the thought of bowing to nature was almost unheard-of.”

Very little of the story dealt with how the rising sea levels associated with climate change are affecting our state– “Hawaii’s famous beaches are slowly sinking, and some scientists think it’s a matter of time before the state has to explore whether to move back development” being the only mention of Hawaii in the article, and the sentence is ambiguous. For instance, many more individuals than “some scientists” are talking about changing coastal zoning laws.

Also, I have to note that the Hawaiian islands,likeallislandsthroughoutthePacific, have eroded throughout time. But what makes the contemporary climate change so scary is that the erosion has sped up.

The vast majority of climate scientists around the world tell us the acceleration is due to industrialization–humanity’s decision over the last century to spew ever greater quantities of carbon dioxide and other gases into the atmosphere.

“On Earth, human activities are changing the natural greenhouse,” states the official website of NASA, which knows a little about the makeup of our

planet and atmosphere. “Over the last century the burning of fossil fuels like coal and oil has increased the concentration of atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2). This happens because the coal or oil burning process combines carbon with oxygen in the air to make CO2. To a lesser extent, the clearing of land for agriculture, industry, and other human activities have increased concentrations of greenhouse gases.”

Hence we see trees falling along the shoreline at Baldwin Beach. We see Honoapiilani Highway actually falling into the water at Ukumehame. This has been visible for the last decade, and it’s going to get worse. According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, which has published a lot of climate change information pertinent to Hawaii on its website (fws.gov/pacific/Climatechange/ changepi.html), we can expect our whole way of living in Hawaii to change over the next 100 years–especially in the lowlying Northwestern Hawaiian Islands, where endangered sea and bird life may just vanish entirely.

“Melting of grounded ice and thermal expansion of the oceans are expected to continue for many hundreds of years with a predicted rise of two to three feet this century,” states the FWS website.

“Low-lying coastal areas will be periodically or permanently inundated by seawater, and salt water intrusion will permanently alter low coastal wetlands and low-lying freshwater resources...

Sea level rise also is directly implicated in increasing frequency and severity of high wave inundation and accelerate[d] beach erosion... which will impact coastal habitats (e.g., nesting areas), ports, and coastal infrastructure (e.g., roads, sewers, communities).”

Back in January, Honolulu Civil Beat (Civilbeat.com) ran a three-part editorial (prepared by the Center for Island Climate Adaptation and Policy) detailing all the things Hawaii can do to prepare for the ocean lapping up onto our beaches and beachfront roads, homes and hotels. It also cataloged the various steps local governments around the state are already taking: “Even without comprehensive state leadership, sea-level rise has been “on the radar” in Hawai‘i,” stated the Jan. 17, 2012 Civil Beat editorial. “The 2010 Kailua Beach and Dune Management Plan, developed by the Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR) and the University of Hawai‘i Sea Grant College Program, details goals, objectives, and implementation actions for adapting to sea-level rise on Kailua Beach. Also in 2010, Maui County incorporated sea-level rise adaptation into its county general plan by including policies for restricting development in areas prone to natural hazards, disasters, and sea-level rise. Last summer, 1,608 of 2,169 survey respondents (74.2 percent) on the forthcoming O‘ahu 2035 General Plan Update agreed that policies addressing the effects of sealevel rise are important considerations

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for updating the plan. The Department of Transportation, Harbors Division, incorporated a study assessing sea-level rise impacts on harbors and surrounding roadways in the August 2011 Hawai‘i Island Commercial Harbors 2035 Master Plan. DLNR has begun planning for climate change impacts on the state’s watersheds to protect Hawai‘i’s freshwater resources in The Rain Follows the Forest: A Plan to Replenish Hawai‘i’s Source of Water (November 2011).”

Of course, for many people (ie, Republicans) out there, I’m just talking nonsense. To them, I’m a dupe, a tool of the socialist agenda that seeks to destroy private property. Climate change, though as supported by empirical data as the knowledge that the Earth revolves around the sun, is to them just another branch of politics.

“Speaker [Newt] Gingrich has supported cap and trade for more than a dozen years,” said no less a conservative personage as failed presidential candidate Rick Santorum, back in February.

“Now, he wants business incentives to go along with cap and trade, but he supported cap and trade, and sat on the couch with [former Democratic Speaker] Nancy Pelosi and said that global warming had to be addressed by Congress. Who is he or who’s Governor [Mitt] Romney to be able to go after President [Barack] Obama? I’ve never supported even the hoax of global warming.”

That Santorum was able to last so long on the campaign trail indicates how his “hoax” message resonated. Amazingly though, not all Republicans treat science with such caveman contempt. Romney has said many contradictory things about climate change on the campaign trail, but in 2010 he wrote the following into a book called No Apology: The Case for American Greatness: “I believe that climate change is occurring–the reduction in the size of global ice caps is hard to ignore,” Romney wrote. “I also believe that human activity is a contributing factor. I am uncertain how much of the warming, however, is attributable to factors out of our control.”

Considering his propensity to say whatever he thinks he needs to say to whichever audience he happens to be addressing at the moment, it’s impossible to say what a “President Romney” might actually do when faced with the realities of climate change. Given the fact that small islands like Maui are already facing those realities, our actions are, right now, really the only ones that count. ■

anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1551n1

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NEWS&VIEWS

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

BY JEN RUSSO over 400 dogs this year. That helped to reduce the euthanasia rate on Maui by approximately 40 percent.

MT: Where is the dog shelter? How many dogs can the shelter house at a time?

HALL: We curHawaii Animal Rescue rently do not have a Adoptions at Petco shelter location. We are in the process of looking for land and HARF CELEBRATES ITS intend to build a facility. In the meantime, FIRST ANNIVERSARY we work with a network of foster families to This month the Hawaii Animal Rescue house and care for our dogs. Right now, we have approximately 67 dogs and hold weekFoundation (HARF) celebrates its first anniversary in the business of Maui animal end adoption events on Maui and Oahu.

The number of dogs we can have at any one welfare. The foundation is seeing success time depends on the number of foster famiin the form of dog adoptions–specifically, the re-homing of 400 dogs in just their first lies we have, i.e. room. We take as many as possible from the local shelter (they provide year. Funds for the organization are coming us a list each week) and receive animals difrom private individuals, corporations and grants, but as yet nothing from the county, rectly from the community.

MT: Is there a HARF operating on Oahu? state or federal governments.

Are you sister organizations or the same?

HARF wants to start building a new noHALL: Oahu has an adoption center on kill, full-service animal shelter facility and the Kapolei side of the island and functions is in the process of acquiring land. The shelter will include an adoption and education much like the Maui group. We are all one and the same. center, surgery center, a rescue and adopMT: How many foster families do you tion facilities for large breeds like cows and have for the dogs? horses and a community dog park.

HALL: It varies from 10-20 families at Dawn Hall, HARF’s vice president and cofounder, found a moment to answer a few a time. Plus we work with a few boarding kennels that help us out in a pinch. We are questions about how the foundation operates: always looking for more fosters. The more

help we have, the more dogs we can help.

MAUITIME: Is this the anniversary of MT: How do you plan to build a large full creating your shelter? service shelter?

DAWN HALL: This is the anniversary HALL: The eventual shelter build will of organizing the foundation. Even without be planned in stages with the largest prioria shelter we have successfully re-homed

ties being built first. It will require a large capital campaign to raise the funds needed.

Since our facility will include an adoption center, spay/neuter surgery center, education center, dog kennels, an area for large breed animals and a community dog park it is estimated that the build will run in between $3-4 million. This, of course, will be done over years. Right now, securing land is the priority.

MT: Tell me more about the day-to-day running of HARF. How does it differ from what SPCA Maui and 9th Life do?

HALL: We differ from the Maui SPCA in that their primary mission is spay/neuter. 9th Life solely accepts cats (not other animals) and is considered a sanctuary: animals come in and when they’re full, they are full. It is our belief that adoptions are only the tip of the iceberg and to create real change within the community you must aggressively pursue spay/neuter and education.

Standard sheltering methods are archaic and do little to solve animal issues. No-kill solutions and effective programs make a real difference over the long run. It is proven that euthanizing animals as a way of addressing pet overpopulation doesn’t work.

Animal welfare models are changing and we intend to be the change in Hawaii.

MT: Do you know how many dogs are euthanized on Maui annually?

HALL: Per the County Data Book, MHS euthanized over 800 dogs last fiscal year–these are their numbers.

Current numbers have not been reported yet for the fiscal year ending in July 2012.

MT: Is there anything else you can mention about HARF? HALL: Check out our Facebook

page! I think it will give you a real feel for our group and what we do. You are always welcome to come down and visit us at Petco on Saturdays from 10am-4pm, and starting in July we will also be at Whole Foods doing adoptions, too.

HARF partners with the other animal welfare animal welfare groups on Maui to bring adoptable animals to their public adoptions on Saturdays at Petco in Kahului.

HARF says 10 percent of the animals they receive are surrendered by their owners while the other 90 percent come from other organizations that are overcapacity.

For more information on HARF, call 808-876-0022. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1551n2

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NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

All U.S. states have forms of no-fault divorce, but not England, which requires that couples prove adultery or abandonment or “unreasonable behavior,” which leads to sometimes-epic weirdness, according to an April New York Times dispatch from London. For instance, one woman’s petition blamed her husband’s insistence that she speak and dress only in Klingon. Other examples of “unreasonable behavior” (gathered by the Times of London): a husband objecting to the “malicious” preparation of his most hated dish (tuna casserole), a spouse’s non-communication for the last 15 years (except by leaving Post-it Notes), a spouse’s too-rapid TV channel-changing, a husband’s distorting the fit of his wife’s best outfits by frequently wearing them, and one’s insistence that a pet tarantula reside in a glass case beside the marital bed.

JUST PLAIN LAME

Madison County, Ind., council member David McCartney admitted to the Herald Bulletin newspaper in March that he had exchanged “sexually explicit” emails with a female official in another county but would not resign. In fact, he said, he had engaged in the exchanges not for hanky-panky but in order to “expose corruption.” He has not elaborated. And Chris Windham, 27, was charged with improperly photographing a 57-year-old man in a men’s room in Trinity, Texas, in March after Windham, using a stall, allegedly snapped a cellphone photo of the man standing at the adjacent urinal.

Windham explained that typically he braces himself with one hand on the floor while he wipes himself, and this time the hand on the floor was holding his cellphone.

VERY COMPELLING EXPLANATION

Maureen Raymond, 49, said her roadside DUI test administered in January was unfair. According to records cited by Scripps Media, she told a deputy in Port St. Lucie, Fla., that she couldn’t walk a straight line “with her big boobies,” which she said makes “balancing” difficult. The deputy reported that Raymond helpfully offered to show him the evidence but that he stopped her.

THINGS PEOPLE BELIEVE

Ms. Priti Mahalanobis is a college-educated mother of two who ran a franchised restaurant in Avalon Park, Fla., near Orlando, but when her health, her brother’s marriage and her business experienced problems, she bought a $20 psychic reading from “Mrs. Starr” (also known as Peaches Stevens). The Orlando Sentinel reported in January that, over the next seven months, Mahalanobis lost about $135,000 in cash, jewelry and gift cards to Mrs. Starr. Astonishingly, neither Mahalanobis’ health nor her restaurant business noticeably improved! Among the remedies that Mahala-

nobis accepted: buying seven tabernacles ($19,000 each) to “vanquish (her family’s) negativity” and putting $100 bills and a piece of paper with her relatives’ names written on it under her mattress along with a grapefruit (which, as everyone knows, attracts and then isolates the evil).

THINGS LEADERS BELIEVE

Though recently elected Councillor Simon Parkes told the Scarborough Evening News in March that his work on the Whitby (England) Town Council would not be affected, he has famously (in a YouTube video) reported lifelong “horrific” invasive encounters with extra-terrestrials, including many visits from a nine-foot-tall, green “mother”-like being who sends him “messages” through his eyes, down his optic nerve to his brain.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the silver-bearded corporate hippie tourist with the red Murano, fishing hat and horrible aloha shirt: It’s bad enough that you rear-ended my car in front of me as I was walking back to it after watching a nice sunset at Kam 1, but after I let you go because there was no real damage, you end up at the same Maui Tacos as me while I’m reading “Eh Brah” in MauiTime. As I look up, I see that you and your wife have somehow mistakenly started to eat my food as well. Come on, brah–I respect my elders, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. How about just easing off the mai tais? Peace. ■

WHO VOTED FOR HIM?

Arni Johnsen, a member of Iceland’s Parliament, survived a serious 2010 automobile crash–a stroke of good fortune he has since attributed to a family of elves (three generations, in fact, according to an “elf specialist”) who live in a boulder near the crash site.

Iceland’s Morgunbladid newspaper reported that Johnsen recently had the 30-ton boulder relocated to his own property, which he said affords the elves a better view than at their previous home. (But another elf “authority” told reporters that relocating the family was bound to bring Johnsen bad luck.)

FETISHISTS

Gary Paterson, 36, was sentenced to community service and psychotherapy after being convicted of trying to lick clean the shoes of four boys (Glenrothes, Scotland, January).

Robert Van Wagner, 33, was arrested after three girls (ages 12 and 13) told police he asked them to put on socks he gave them and to run around a field so he could watch. (Port St. Lucie, Fla., April). Tetsuya Ichikawa, 50, was arrested after approaching a 25-year-old woman from behind in a restaurant and licking her hair (Shizuoka, Japan, April).

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

LEAST COMPETENT TERRORISTS

A bomb accidentally exploded on a bus in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, in May, killing a man who police suspect was on his way to blow up something else. He was the only person killed, but two suspected associates with him (carrying assault rifles and ammunition) were injured. And in April, Mohammad Ashan, described by U.S. officials as a “mid-level Taliban commander” in Paktika province, Afghanistan, walked up to a police checkpoint with a wanted poster of himself (offering a $100 cash reward) and turned himself in–for the money. Ashan was arrested following a biometric scan to verify his identity. “Yes, yes, that’s me,” he reportedly said. “Can I get my award now?” ■ chuck@mauitime.com

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JUNE 7, 2012

9

THE CO$ T

OF DOING BUSINESS

PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Faced with years of fear, frustration and foreclosure, Kihei residents Marcy and Lawrence Crilley decided to sue Bank of America. Here’s how their case is proceeding.

M

arcy Koltun-Crilley spends a lot of time reading up on foreclosure court cases. It’s what you have to do when you’re suing one of the largest banks in the world.

She was deep into a 59-page complaint filed in New York in 2011 against Bank of America–the same bank she and her husband Lawrence are going after–when I caught up with her at her Kihei home. “This is exactly what we dealt with,” she said in exasperation, the PDF of the complaint glowing on the computer screen behind her as we spoke.

Since January of this year, Marcy Crilley and her husband Lawrence (a Maui County firefighter currently on medical disability) have been suing Bank of America–specifically,

10

JUNE 7, 2012

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO both the Charlotte, North Carolina-based bank and BAC Home Loans Servicing, its subsidiary mortgage lender run out of Calabasas, California. Their complaint alleges that the bank and lender were “negligent” and engaged in “unfair and deceptive practices.” The case began in Hawaii’s Second Circuit Court, but it’s in federal court in Honolulu now (Patricia McHenry, the Honolulu attorney representing Bank of America in the case, did not respond to a phone call asking for comment).

Litigation is a tough strategy–something Crilley knows very well.

“We’re taking a big risk,” she told me. “The attorney fees are high and we could lose everything. But it’s so frustrating

and unfair. I can’t believe a jury would not see this as total fraud. But also, I keep thinking that this is Bank of America.

This is HAMP [Home Affordable Modification Program].

This is the federal government. They can’t totally screw me.

But they also keep telling me things are coming. You’re supposed to trust them. Who else can I believe?” o far, says her Wailuku attorney James Fosbinder, US District Judge Leslie Kobayashi’s April 26 decision to deny Bank of America’s attempt to dismiss the complaint outright is something of an historic victory in itself. Though Fosbinder says he has many clients with problems similar to the Crilley’s, Kobayashi’s apparent willingness to bring the case to trial is rather rare.

S

L

ike many homeowners these days, the Crilley’s found themselves in a terrifying spot. With her income dropping, they began burning through their savings as they paid the mortgage on their South Kihei home, which they bought in 2003 for $520,000.

Like many homes in the quiet neighborhood that surrounds the Wailea fire station, the house is big, but not grand.

But in the last days of 2009, they received a letter from BAC Servicing asking if they’d like to get a loan modification from the federal government’s new HAMP. Marcy Crilley said they leaped at the chance, and immediately filled out an online application form.

“They’re just making it so the monthly payments are lower, but you have to make the payments longer,” she said.

As is well known, this country went through something loosely called a “housing collapse” around 2008. Years of people using exotic mortgages and interest-only payments to buy overpriced homes–combined with brokerage houses approving ever greater numbers of risky loans–finally imploded near the end of President George W. Bush’s term, dragging the global economy down with it.

HAMP was part of the federal government’s response–a well-intentioned attempt to stop the endless foreclosures that plagued the nation’s housing market. According to the Crilley’s complaint, HAMP lowered homeowners’ monthly payments to 31 percent of their verified monthly gross (pre-tax) income. But despite such promise, the Crilley’s complaint says HAMP “has largely been a failure, due, in many ways, to service abuses.”

The program was and remains controversial, though not generally for the reasons cited in the Crilley’s complaint. A federal program designed to help people who can’t make mortgage payments they freely signed up for– while millions of other homeowners succeed in making the monthly payments without government assistance–would be controversial even without the Crilley’s allegations.

But according to a General Accounting Office report cited in the complaint, HAMP simply doesn’t work. Since its start in November 2010, there have been 1.4 million trial loan modifications. Of those, just 550,000 homeowners have actually seen permanent changes to their mortgages, with another 729,000 trials cancelled. he reason for so many cancellations, the Crilley’s complaint alleges, is that lenders were never serious about modifying mortgage terms in the first place. Instead, the companies employed legions of “agents” whose sole duty was to lead worried but hopeful homeowners through endless bureaucratic mazes of paperwork and phone tag.

“Central to the failure of HAMP and other loan modification programs are arbitrary and negligent roadblocks erected by servicers to prevent modifications from proceeding to a permanent status,” states the complaint. “[B] orrowers, including Plaintiffs, are often asked to resubmit the same documents numerous times, clearing demonstrating the systemic negligence of servicers’, including BAC Ser-

vicing’s recordkeeping.”

The Crilley’s complaint, which reads like a novel, calls this system a “deny and delay model:” erect “endless barriers” and force mortgagors “to resubmit the same paperwork repeatedly.” On repeated occasions, the Crilleys allege, BAC Servicing agents advised them to stop making mortgage payments altogether so they would “move to the top of the pile” of homeowners seeking loan modifications. In the middle of it, Law-

“On August 13, 2010, Plaintiffs received an invoice from BAC Service [Bank of America Home Loans Servicing] notifying Plaintiffs that they were seriously delinquent and that, if they did not hear from Plaintiffs, they would have to initiate foreclosure. Plaintiffs called the number provided on the invoice and spoke with ‘Lisa.’ Lisa told Plaintiffs that they were under review for a loan modification so [she] did not understand why Plaintiffs were calling. Lisa transferred Plaintiffs

At one point, a new rule went into effect ostensibly requiring banks to assign a single “point of contact” to customers seeking loan modifications. The result, according to the Crilley’s complaint, was more black comedy: “On September 22, 2011, Plaintiffs received a letter, dated September 14, 2011, from ‘Orlando Pimentel’, who had purportedly been assigned to Plaintiffs by BANA [Bank of America], as their ‘dedicated customer relationship manager,’”

Their complaint alleges that the bank and lender was “negligent” and engaged in “unfair and deceptive practices.”

rence Crilley suffered serious health problems, putting him on disability and further intensifying the need for new loan terms.

“The objective of these tactics is simply to maximize profit,” states the complaint. “During delay, fees and interests accrue.” nd so, according to the Crilleys, that online form they filled out at the end of 2009 led to two years of phone calls with an endless list of BAC Servicing agents (few of which ever gave a last name) and mindlessly filling out the same application forms over and over.

There was also months spent waiting for paperwork to arrive, only to give up and call again and find out again that said paperwork was never sent in the first place.

Page 16 of the Crilley’s complaint contains a paragraph that exemplifies the cartoonish run-around the bank allegedly put the couple through:

A

to ‘Remona.’”

Written notices of impending foreclosure lead to frantic phone calls and endless transfers to people who lack last names. It’s easy to imagine boiler rooms across the globe, staffed with dozens, if not hundreds, of “loan modification agents” named “Lisa” and “Alan” and “Shirley” sitting at cramped desks and wearing telephone headsets. None have dedicated phone extensions. The work is as cheap and meaningless as the information they give to the frightened homeowners who call them.

Still, the Crilley’s said they jumped through every hoop each new loan modification agent put before them. And as the loan agents allegedly told them, the Crilleys stopped making regular mortgage payments in favor of much smaller “trial payments.” Regular payments, they were allegedly told, could “disqualify” them from HAMP approval.

“It was hard for me to be late on a payment,” Marcy Crilley told me. “I never do that.”

T

Crilly kept boxes of notes, and meticulously logged every call, every request for this or that form.

states the complaint. “On October 5, 2011, Plaintiffs received a letter, dated September 30, 2011, from ‘Bina Abraham’, claiming to be Plaintiffs’ ‘new customer relationship manager’. On October 11, 2011, Plaintiffs received another letter, also dated September 30, 2011, from ‘Satina Halsey’, claiming to be Plaintiff’s ‘new customer relationship manager.’” rom Sept. 22, 2011 to Nov. 28, 2011, the Crilleys received seven letters from various “new customer relationship managers.” Marcey Crilley said she never spoke to any of them. The letters all contained the same “boilerplate” language “that was automatically generated and sent to Plaintiffs with no genuine oversight or attempt to meaningfully engage with Plaintiffs,” states the complaint.

“It’s just the cost of doing business to them,” Crilley said later.

That this went on for two years would drive anyone crazy. But Marcy Crilley kept boxes of notes, and meticulously logged every call, every request for this or that form. “I saw early on the need to keep notes,” Crilley said.

And now, barring any settlement or new attempt by Bank of America to get the case tossed out of court, the case comes up for trial on Feb. 12, 2013.

But it’s unknown how long she and her family will still live in their Kihei house. “I’ve not been paying them,” she said when I asked about mortgage payments. “I still get bills. But they have not tried to foreclose on me yet.”

Before I sat down with Crilley I had read her complaint, so I knew they were asking for unspecified damages and attorney fees.

But I still asked Crilley what she would like the lawsuit to bring about.

“What would I like?” Crilley asked back.

“I’d like to be made whole. My credit report is damaged. With our score, how could I ever buy another house?”

Still, if they have their way, the Crilley’s would rather stay where they are.

“We love this place,” she said. “It needs work, but we haven’t done that because we’re worried about putting anything into it because they’ll just take it.” ■

F

anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1551L

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FOOD&DRINK

The Plantation House

Where Chef Alex Stanislaw makes every ingredient count

BY JEN RUSSO

The Plantation House 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Lahaina 808-669-6299 theplantationhouse.com

T

he Plantation House is in the farthest reaches of the upper northwest countryside. To get there, you zoom past Kapalua, tear by DT Flemings and pull a right at the big Plantation Golf Course sign. It’s not hard to find, and it’s certainly well known for its incredible list of signature eggs benedicts served from 8am to 3pm, but it’s more than just a stopover on your country drive.

Chef Alex Stanislaw has been there from day one, creating fresh and simple dishes on an extensive menu that has a timeless quality. There are Mediterranean influences on top of regional Pacific fusion standards. Plantation House doesn’t forget its golfers either, providing plenty of the heavy hitters like burgers, sandwiches, steak and eggs and loco moco with elegant overtures.

But Stanislaw says what really gets him fired up though is fish. “Fish is so wonderful to work with,” he says. “I want every-

one that comes in to try our fish.

It’s one of the last healthy animal proteins. Fish is a delicacy [but] we have to respect what we are getting from the ocean.”

His Ahi Nicoise (“ahi in the style of Nice” on the menu) is a sleek example of what Stanislaw can do with seared ahi and fresh farmed goods. He calls ahi ubiquitous, but his entree fish dish includes local arugula, organic tomatoes, Kula green beans and citrus vinaigrette.

Everything on the dish is Mauisourced, save the balsamic.

Stanislaw holds similarly strong views about wine as well.

“The most under-utilized herb is the flat leaf parsley and the most under utilized wine is the reisling and piChef Alex Stanislaw not,” says Stanislaw. “You hear a lot about cab; it’s always described in masculine terms–big, bold, leathery–and pinot is described in more feminine terms, and is less tannic. Reisling is balanced, very food-friendly and not too high in alcohol.”

Each page of his dinner menu has suggested wines, and the wine program–driven by managing partner Norm Schuhardt– is impeccable. Stanislaw says there's a lot of trust in his restaurant with the staff. When he talks about the teamwork, he really gets passionate.

“Chef Maro [Gjurasic, Chef de Cuisine] has an amazing energy with the food,” Stanislaw says. “He loves big and bold flavors. He has great hands and is extremely capable of finesse. The broccoli dish is his–Upcountry broccoli cooked in a hot pan till it gets a bit of char on it with garlic, then he adds some chili and lime. I’m thinking there is no way that works, but it is amazing. Maro is also getting our seasonal ‘fresh sheet’ menu program going.”

Plantation House has a robust “Come Join Our Table” wine dinner program that joins guests with winemakers over incredible paired dishes. This is where Stanislaw and Gjurasic get to branch out into the creative, hoisting prized ingredients to treasured grapes. This Saturday, their dinner with winemaker Fred Scherrer is no exception: four courses and pupus are an opportunity for both wine exposure and food adventure. The ubiquitous ahi shows up in rare form with fennel and ‘07 pino at

Sweet & Spicy Hawaiian Style Prawns

its side. There’s also Calabrian sausage in the croquette with Scherrer Chardonnay and garlic prawn in walnut aioli and dry rose. (Call for reservations: 808-669-6299) “The braised pork cheeks are served with a potato cream and old and mature zinfandel,” says Stanislaw. “Potato cream is mashed potatoes whipped with as much butter as they can take. It’s fantastic and rich. Fred Scherrer is an integritydriven winemaker. He released his zinfandel late because it wasn’t ready. Even if he needed to release it to sell, he wasn’t going to do it until it was prime.”

The Plantation House menu skimps on nothing. If you want Angus beef, it’s there. There’s also creamy risotto and pasta, shrimp and scallops all highlighted by simple sides, well-paired wines and a full bar. The restaurant has an astonishing way of feeling welcoming, like you’re going into a beautiful home to dine next to the fire place.

The decor takes its notes from the name–historic plantation-style with a few modern touches that make it cozy and comfortable, but you might be too awed by the views to notice. The open air dining room looks out onto the wild Pailolo channel and Molokai’s east end.

“We don’t do food manipulation here,” says Stanislaw.

“You won’t find the fish that looks like a kiwi and tastes like a duck. That is not for us. We like the food to show through.

It’s the KISS philosophy: keep it simple, stupid. You can throw a bunch of this and that into the dish, but I want every ingredient to matter.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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Ahi ~ In the Style of Nice

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13

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FOOD&DRINK

The Winemaker

Talking with CADE Estate Winery’s Anthony Biagi

BY ASHLEIGH HUTCHINSON

Winemaker Anthony Biagi

CADE Winery

360 Howell Mountain Road South Angwin, CA 94508 (707) 965-2746 cadewinery.com

N

estled 1,800 feet above Napa’s Valley Floor is the first LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) Goldcertified estate winery in Napa Valley: CADE Estate Winery. The winery, built in 2005, is made of recycled materials, sustainable and completely off the grid. It’s simple, clean, elegant, refined, sophisticated and pure, just like the wines they produce.

Named for a term used by Shakespeare to refer to the wine casks (cades) used to transport wine from Bordeaux to England in Elizabethan times, CADE represents a modern and minimalist approach to winemaking.

They focus on two varietals–Cabernet Sauvignon and Sauvignon Blanc.

CADE is the sister winery to the Plumpjack Winery, which is located in the small Napa Valley town of Oakville. Plumpjack opened as a retail wine store in San Francisco’s Marina District in 1992 by Gavin Newsom (long before he became California’s Lieutenant Governor) and philanthropist Gordon Getty.

The CADE philosophy for Sauvignon Blanc is to produce small, intimate batches for daily consumption–just 101 barrels made. CADE SB is a compelling wine in that is sees a combination of stainless steel, concrete eggs and new French chateau bar-

rels during fermentation. This wine is ideal for Hawaiian fusion cuisine. Hawaiian fusion prides itself on its organic approach to local sustainability, while winemakers approach their wines with the same temperament, celebrating terroir and flavor profiles.

Since 2003, veteran winemaker Anthony Biagi has been making the hand crafted artisanal wines at both establishments. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Biagi and ask a few questions:

MAUITIME: In one sentence, what got you into winemaking?

ANTHONY BIAGI: The opportunity to blend both artistic and scientific skills in an outdoor environment.

MT: How did you get started as a winemaker?

BIAGI: My first job as a winemaker was crafting Paraduxx for the Duckhorn Wine Company in 1998.

MT: Is it true the life of a winemaker is as glamorous as it seems?

BIAGI: We winemakers have it pretty good.

Like all jobs though there are downsides, and bottling comes to mind.

MT: What are your top five favorite things about making wine and living in Napa Valley?

BIAGI: One, the abundance of great options for dining out and cooking at home.

Two, the interesting people we meet from all walks of life and industries. Three, the weather. Four, although the small town atmosphere can be tough, it’s nice to walk down main street and say hello to people by name. We still have a homecoming parade down the middle of Main Street in Saint Helena. Five, the influence of Mexican culture on our everyday lives.

MT: What’s your favorite varietal to make?

BIAGI: Cabernet Sauvignon, of course.

MT: What’s your ideal food and setting for a crisp glass of this exceptional wine?

BIAGI: Hamachi Krudo on a deck, relaxing.

MT: What are the winemaker secrets behind making the CADE SB as vibrant and tasty as it is?

BIAGI: The CADE SB is crisp and vibrant because of the little wood we use and no malolactic fermentation coupled with the lowered sugars we pick.

MT: What’s your favorite wine to drink right now?

BIAGI: Pinot Noir and Chateau Nuef De Pape has grabbed my attention and won’t let go.

MT: In Hawaii, at the end of the work day we have a pau hana: the first drink after a long day to be enjoyed with friends and family. What’s your ideal pau hana?

BIAGI: Pliny the Elder!

CADE Winery is considered a boutique winery, since it produces less than 11,000 cases annually with international distribution. These wines have been available in Hawaii since 2008. CADE Sauvignon Blanc is available at Lahaina Farms.

Biagi will be on Maui during the Kapalua Wine and Food Festival, where you’ll find him at the PlumpJack and CADE winemaker dinner at the Ritz Carlton Kapalua and the Hotel Hana.

mesan Extra Virgin Olive Oil – Sauvignon Blanc Syrup Featuring CADE Sauvignon Blanc SECOND COURSE Seafood Risotto Japanese Pumpkin – Alii Mushrooms – Haiku Red – Yellow Tomato – Reggiano Parmesan – Scallops – Rock Shrimp Grilled Hamachi Featuring PlumpJack Chardonnay THIRD COURSE Stuffed Fire Roasted Beef Filet Duck Liver Mousse – Chanterelle Mushrooms – Pommes Puree - Grilled Baby Zucchini – Baby Burgundy Carrots – Garlic Demi Featuring CADE Cabernet DESSERT COURSE Chocolate Macadamia Nut Truffles Cayenne Cocoa Powder Dust – Wild Cherry Lacquer featuring PlumpJack Syrah ■ ashleigh@mauitime.com

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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WINEMAKER’S DINNER AT THE BANYAN TREE Thursday, June 7, 2012 – 6:30pm seating only. $150 per person exclusive of tax and gratuity. For reservations call 808-665-7089.

COURSE ONE Big Island Kampachi Tartare, Asian pressed watermelon, ocean flavors Cade Sauvignon Blanc 2010 COURSE TWO Grilled Hawaiian Shrimp, garden gazpacho, basil pearls Plumpjack Chardonnay 2010 ENTREE Grilled Kobe Flat Iron Steak, summer corn, cilantro salad, mole sauce Estate Cabernet Sauvignon 2008 DESSERT Dark Chocolate Tart, banana guacamole, hibiscus PlumJack Syrah 2009

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CADE Winery Sauvignon Blanc

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15

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JUNE 7, 2012

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PICKS

THURSDAY, JUNE 7

BY MEGAN HAZEN

FOUR PINOTS – Word on the the grapevine is that the Four Seasons Resort is bringing California wineries to Maui. Four Pinots at Four Seasons, a weekendlong event, will be co-hosted by vintners and sommeliers from California’s Anthill Farm Wineries, Brewer-Clifton, Costa de Oro and Patz & Hall. Event highlights include a seminar on Chardonnay, a charity golf tournament at Wailea Golf Club and an oceanfront gala featuring farm-to-table cuisine and over 40 vintage wines. Seminar: $98, Wine dinners & Gala $198. Four Seasons Resort, Wailea (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-2201; fourseasons.com/maui

NA KOA IKAIKA MAUI – Tonight’s the third game in Na Koa Ikaika’s six-game opening series against the Hawaii Stars from Hilo, which runs through Sunday, June 10. Here’s your chance to root for Maui boys Joe Kala, Kalaika Kahoohalahala, Logan Kanamu and A.J. Alexander, as well as Eri Yoshida, the first female pitcher to win in a pro ball game in the last 13 years, and Jose Angel Sanchez, who hit .354 last year. All night games begin at 5:35pm while double headers and Sunday games start at 1:35pm. $10 General Admission, $13 VIP seating, $8 Military & kids 12 and under. Iron Maehara Stadium (700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku); 808-873-7826; mauiprobaseball.com

FRIDAY, JUNE 8 2ND FRIDAY TOWN PARTY – Front Street will come alive this Friday for Lahaina’s Second Friday Town Party. It all starts with a blessing by the ‘Ulalena cast at the seawall. There will also be a free performance by Maui Taiko, tons of dining discounts, live music and art gallery receptions. Musical acts include Nuff Sedd, Visibly Shaken, Gary Larson and Bob Jones and the Drive. Ohana Movie Night at the Baldwin Home Museum will screen two 20-minute films that explore Hawaiian culture: Ka Wai–Source of Life and Ho’ala Hou–A Look to the Future. There’s also a concert in the park, which is hosted by the Lahaina Action Committee and brings live music and food vendors to Campbell Park. The concert benefits a number of local non-profits. Free. 6-9pm. Front Street, Lahaina; mauifridays.com

KENNY LOGGINS – The versatile Grammy-winner Kenny Loggins will put on a show at Castle Theater. Loggins, who back in the 1970s was half of the musical duo Loggins & Messina, is today best known for his solo work and movie soundtrack compositions (Footloose, Top Gun, et al). Songs we can expect include “Footloose,” “Danger Zone” and “House at Pooh Corner.” $45-$125. June 8, 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org.

FRIDAY, JUNE 8 HONU SPECIAL – Kamaaina: grab your Hawaii ID and then belly up to the seafood experience at Honu, where their 25 percent-off discount is good for all food and drinks after 4:30pm at the bar or chef’s bar (good through June 13). The dishes are exquisitely engineered, with local herbs and produce joining fresh seafood and quality proteins in exotic traditional and modern plates. Succulent cocktails from crab to lobster, fried pig’s ear, mussels, grilled octopus, seafood sandwiches, flatbreads, whole fish, quail and Nicoise. The cocktail, beer and wine list adventure keeps up. 4:30pm to close. 1295 Front St., Lahaina. 808-667-9390; Honumaui.com (JEN RUSSO)

KAPALUA WINE & FOOD FEST – For three days in Kapalua, wine is everything. At the Kapalua Wine & Food Festival, you can attend seminars on pinots and cabernets, hit up countless wine tastings and meet and greet sommeliers and winery owners from all over the world. Patrick Okubo, the youngest Master Sommelier ever, will lead a tasting of premium Spanish wines on Sunday. The food portion of the festival will feature some of Kapalua’s best cuisine from Merriman’s Restaurant, The Plantation House, Kai Sushi, Sansei, Banyan Tree and Pineapple Grill. Then on Saturday you can watch Chef Ron Siegel–the first U.S. citizen to win the Iron Chef title–host a cooking demonstration. $550 Four-day festival pass, $35 - $140 for individual event prices. Ritz-Carlton (One Ritz-Carlton Dr., Kapalua); kapaluawineandfoodfestival.com.

SATURDAY, JUNE 9 UPCOUNTRY AG FAIR – Put on your paniolo wear for the Upcountry Ag and Farm Fair. The fair has been a source of ranching and farming fun for all ages for the last 32 years. It’s got an ‘Ohana Ranch Rodeo, a 4-H livestock auction, the Haleakala Ranch Paniolo Tent and an agricultural tent by Whole Foods Market where you can purchase locally grown produce and plants. Entertainment provided by Haleakala Ranch. The fair is intended to promote youth interest in agriculture, ranching and animal husbandry. $7 parking. 8am-4pm. Oskie Rice Field and Arena, Makawao (Olinda Rd.); upcountryfairmaui.com

NIGHT OF SHOOTING STARS – Here’s a rare chance to watch Maui kids dunk on state officials and pro-surfers. Hosted by the non-profit Basketball Maui, the event brings NBA players, college stars and international players to the island. Before the pro-game, kids selected from Basketball Maui’s Summer Camp program will play against local celebs, including Maui Mayor Alan Arakawa, former Hawaii Lieutenant Governor James “Duke” Aiona and pro surfers Ian Walsh and Tatiana Howard. All proceeds go to benefit Basketball Maui, an organization dedicated to helping Maui youth build character and develop life skills through basketball. $10 in advance/$15 at the door (keiki 6 and under get in free). 5pm. Lahaina Civic Center (1840 Honoapiilani Hwy, Lahaina); nightofshootingstars.com.

SATURDAY, JUNE 9 A KETTLE PRIME REUNION SHOW – Formed in the summer of 2007, A Kettle Prime (AKP) hit the Maui music scene full-force, bringing a unique sound that combined rock, funk, jazz and blues. The band includes Lake McLain on lead guitar and lead vocals, Tim Rausch on bass guitar and vocals, Peter Hamilton on guitar, vocals, keyboard and synthesizers and Jonas Troxell on drums. They won over a loyal local fan base and were later spotted by an Austinbased music promoter. In 2009, AKP played at the South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas. But that September, lead singer McLain moved to Tennessee, and the band played its final Maui shows in April 2010. They were gone, but not forgotten. McLain returned to Maui for a couple weeks, so AKP will hold a reunion show in Kihei.

Catch them while you can! No cover. 9pm. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299.

SUNDAY, JUNE 10

JAHMAKA – Honolulu band JahMaka is bringing their Ruff Rootz Reggae sound to Haui’s Life’s A Beach in Kihei. They’ll be playing songs from their new album “Appetite for Love.” Good?

Good. No cover. 9pm. Haui’s Life’s A Beach (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-8918010; mauibars.com

TUESDAY, JUNE 12

REPUBLIK MUSIC FEST – Don’t be jealous of those big mainland summer music festivals. We have Steel Pulse, Slightly Stoopid, G. Love, Barrington Levy and Gyptian coming to Maui for a day of music at the MACC. Steel Pulse is the first UK reggae band to win a Grammy (Best Reggae Album, 1985) and has been churning out great music for more than three decades. Slightly Stoopid puts out a blend of acoustic rock, blues, reggae, hip hop and punk.

G. Love will perform hits off his 2011 solo album, which has a blues-oriented sound. Barrington Levy has been one of Jamaica’s top reggae artists since the 1970s, and has had several hit singles on the UK reggae charts. And Gyptian was named Reggae Artist of the Year at the 2010 Soul Train Awards. $42.50 General Admission, $90 VIP (in advance plus fees). 3:45pm. A&B Outdoor Amphitheater, MACC (One Cameron Way); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

TUESDAY, JUNE 12

VS.

CASE & HIRONO DEBATE – Finally, after months of squabbling, Democratic US Senate candidates Ed Case and Mazie Hirono will go head-to-head in an hour-long debate (it’s sponsored by the AARP). The debate, the only one scheduled for Maui, is preceded by a discussion forum which will highlight issues that pertain to older Hawaii residents like Social Security and Medicare. Free.

9-11:30am. Maui Beach Hotel (170 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-545-6006; aarp.cvent.com/mauidebate.

KAANAPALI MAKAI WATCH – Want to get involved in protecting Hawaii’s delicate ecosystem?

Ka’anapali Makai Watch can show you how. Come to their informational meeting and learn about Kahekili Herbivore Fisheries Management Area (KHFMA).

Results from a recent CREEL survey of fishing pressure on the area will be presented. Get a hands-on demonstration of different types of fishing gear and learn about what is permitted versus prohibited in the protected area. Free. 9pm. Lahaina Civic Center (1840 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); facebook. com/kaanapalimakaiwatch

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 13 MAUI FILM FESTIVAL KICKOFF – The wait is over: the Maui Film Festival is here again! The fun begins at Capische? Restaurant on Wednesday with the Opening Night Twilight Reception. There Capische?’s award-winning chef Brian Etheridge will serve regional Italian cuisine made with fresh, local ingredients.

After dinner, hit the golf course for the Celestial Cinema’s Tribute to Josh Radnor. Best known for his starring role as Ted in How I Met Your Mother, Radnor is also a writer and director who’s acted in movies, TV and Broadway. Radnor will receive the Triple Threat Award before the screening of Liberal Arts, a film he starred in, wrote and directed. Reception: $125. 5:30-7:30pm. Capische? (Hotel Wailea); Celestial Cinema: $22. 8pm. Wailea Gold & Emerald Course; 808-579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com

JUNE 7, 2012

17

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JUNE 7, 2012

FILM

Grand Mysteries

Prometheus more of an Alien remake than prequel Prometheus ★★★★★

BY BARRY WURST II

Rated R/124 Min.

A

nticipation is huge for Prometheus and the best way to see Ridley Scott’s new film isn’t lowering expectations but altering them. Put Alien out of your mind. Make no mistake, this is a prequel to Scott’s 1979 classic Alien but, tonally and in approach, unlike anything Scott has made before. It pits a crew of explorers (led by Charlize Theron and Noomi Rapace) on a deep space mission to discover no less than the origins of the universe, which takes them to a planet full of horrific secrets about to be unearthed.

Everything on screen is spectacular, from the art direction, costumes, visual effects and cinematography, all of which are Oscarworthy. The ambitious screenplay is overly episodic, presents grand but frustratingly unsolved mysteries (especially for sci-fi fans with questions lingering since the first film)

and leaves some giant loose ends. While piecing it together on the drive home, you’ll see the story’s ambiguity. It feels more like an oddly whimsical remake of Alien than a prequel, and the sequel-ready ending and offbeat approach may incite fanboy rage.

On the other hand, it’s mostly great, with an especially strong first hour and full of ideas and discoveries in nearly every scene. Rapace grew on me, as she initially seems too Audrey Tatou, elfin-like for the lead but she carries the nutty climax on her tiny shoulders. Playing an amorous crew member, Idris Elba provides welcome comic relief in what is essentially the Yaphet Kotto role, Guy Pearce is impressively unrecognizable as the mysterious Weyland, Charlize Theron is excellent as the no-nonsense mission head and, as David, the ship’s android, Michael Fassbender’s robotic movements and creepily human demeanor are mesmerizing to watch.

Not all that different in structure from the other Alien rip-offs of the past 30 years, which is the worst thing you can say about it. As a sci-fi monster movie that mixes B-movie pulp with intergalactic existentialism (imagine if Roger Corman had done 2001: A Space Od-

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Altering Expectations yssey), it still offers imagery and moments likely to become iconic over time. I won’t describe it but there is a surgery sequence that is one of the wildest things I’ve seen in a long time. Even with a few jump scares, this is the least gory of the Alien films but still delivers enough gagworthy moments that merit the R-rating.

The 3D gives some scenes a depth of field but otherwise doesn’t offer much. The bigger problem is how scenes switch from being dread inducing, darkly humorous, awe inspiring and intense at a moment’s notice, as if Scott were racing to get to the big reveals.

Still, Scott is jolting the genre to life by playfully returning to this world and the lore of the Space Jockey, as he long promised. He makes this all feel vaguely familiar but much stranger than it was the first time.

My Dad took me to see Alien 3 at the Lahaina Cinema the weekend it opened 20 years ago and I remember vividly how disappointed we and a sold-out audience were as we grimly shuffled out of the theater. Prometheus is a far better film but demonstrates how no one, not even Scott himself, can top or even match his original or James Cameron’s terrific 1986 Aliens.

Some will declare this a disappointment, but it should be recognized as yet another surprising, hugely accomplished and enjoyable effort from a filmmaker who really has nothing left to prove. Prometheus, with its mix of smartly scientific pondering and goopy thrills, isn’t perfect but I can’t wait to see it again. ■

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JUNE 7, 2012

FILM

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY IVY DAMASCO

FRONT STREET THEATER

KUKUI MALL

900 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue) The Dictator-R-THU (1:15, 4:15), 7:00, 9:15. FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15.

Men in Black 3-PG13-FRI (1:35, 4:20), 6:55, 9:35.

SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:20, 6:55, 9:35. MON (1:35, 4:20), 6:55, 9:35.

Prometheus-R-FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45. SATSUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45.

Snow White and the Huntsman-PG13-THU (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 10:15. FRI (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 10:00. MONWED (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 10:00.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting-PG13THU (1:35, 4:20), 6:55, 9:35.

1819 S. Kihei Rd., 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Avengers-PG13-THU 11:00, 1:50, 4:50, 7:50, 10:45.

Battleship-PG13-THU 12:15, 5:00, 10:00.

The Dictator-R-THU 3:00, 8:00.

Madagascar 3-PG-FRI-WED 11:00, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50.

Men in Black 3-PG13-THU 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30. FRI-WED 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30.

Prometheus-R-FRI-WED 11:25, 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15.

Snow White and the Huntsman-PG13-THU 11:10, 1:55, 4:55, 7:45, 10:30. FRI-MON 11:10, 1:55, 4:55, 7:45, 10:30. TUE 1:00, 3:55, 7:00, 9:45.

WED 11:10, 1:55, 4:55, 7:45, 10:30.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel-PG13-THU 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10. FRI-WED 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10.

Dark Shadows-PG13-THU 3:00, 5:30, 8:00, 10:30.

Manzanar Fishing Club-Unrated-FRI-WED 11:10, 1:10, 3:10, 5:15, 7:15, 9:35.

Men in Black 3 (3D)-PG13-THU 11:15, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. FRI-WED 11:15, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

Men in Black 3-PG13-THU 12:15, 3:15, 5:45, 8:15, 10:45. FRI-WED 12:15, 3:15, 5:45, 8:15, 10:45.

The Pirates! Band of Misfits-PG-THU 11:00, 1:00.

Snow White and the Huntsman-PG13-THU 11:00, 12:30, 2:00, 3:30, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 10:00, 11:00. FRI-WED 12:30, 3:30, 7:00, 9:50.

NEW THIS WEEK

PROMETHEUS - R - Sci-Fi - This is the Alien prequel-that’s-not-a-prequel you’ve been waiting for. See this week’s film critique. 124 min MADAGASCAR 3 - PG - Animation - Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still trying to get back to New York, for some reason. 85 min.

MANZANAR FISHING CLUB - Unrated - Documentary - Here’s a look at the World War II internment of Japanese Americans through their eyes. 74 min.

NOW PLAYING

THE AVENGERS - PG13 - Action You’ve seen all the back stories, and now Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, Captain America and the rest get together with Samuel L. Jackson to save the world from Loki.

Sure, why not. 142 min.

BATTLESHIP - PG13 - Action - A US Navy fleet (led by Liam Neeson) does battle with an alien squadron. And yes, this is based on the popular board game. 131 min.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) The Avengers-PG13-THU (1:45, 5:00), 8:15. FRI (1:30, 4:50), 8:15. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:50, 8:15.

MON-WED (1:30, 4:50), 8:15.

The Avengers (3D)-PG13-THU (11:45, 12:10, 3:00, 3:30), 6:20, 6:45, 9:30, 9:50. FRI-WED (11:30, 2:55), 6:20, 9:25.

Battleship-PG13-THU (11:30, 12:15, 1:15, 2:30, 3:15, 4:10, 5:30), 6:15, 7:05, 8:30, 9:15, 10:00. FRI (12:35, 3:35), 6:35, 9:35. SAT-SUN (12:35), 3:35, 6:35, 9:35. MON-WED (12:35, 3:35), 6:35, 9:35.

Chernobyl Diaries-R-THU (12:45, 2:55, 5:15), 7:30, 9:45.

The Dictator-R-THU (12:00, 12:30, 2:10, 2:40, 4:20, 4:50), 6:30, 7:00, 8:40, 9:10. FRI (12:45, 3:10, 5:20), 7:30, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:45, 3:10), 5:20, 7:30, 9:40.

MON-WED (12:45, 3:10, 5:20), 7:30, 9:40.

The Hunger Games-PG13-FRI-WED (11:55,

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL - PG13 - Comedy - British retirees travel to what they think is a far more luxurious hotel in India than it actually is. 124 min.

THE DICTATOR - R - Comedy - Sacha Baron Cohen stars as a ruthless (though dumb) North African dictator desperately trying to hold onto power. 83 min.

THE HUNGER GAMES - PG13 - Sci-Fi A young woman living in a futuristic world where teens are entered into a kill-orbe-killed contest for entertainment. Huh. Sounds like high school. 142 min.

MEN IN BLACK 3 - PG13 - Comedy Agent J (Will Smith) goes back in time to save his friend Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) from being assassinated when he was young (Josh Brolin). 106 min.

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN PG13 - Action - Don’t look for Dopey in this radical adaption of the Snow White classic, in which the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) turns Snow White (Kristen Stewart) into a warrior maiden to topple the Evil Queen (Charlize Theron). 127 min.

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING - PG13 - Comedy - Five couples discover that having a baby

3:05), 6:10, 9:20.

Madagascar 3-PG-FRI (11:15, 1:15, 3:45, 4:15), 6:15, 8:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (11:15, 1:15), 3:45, 4:15, 6:15, 8:45, 9:15. MON-WED (11:15, 1:15, 3:45, 4:15), 6:15, 8:45, 9:15.

Madagascar 3 (3D)-G-FRI (11:45, 1:45, 2:15, 4:45), 6:45, 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (11:45, 1:45, 2:15), 4:45, 6:45, 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (11:45, 1:45, 2:15, 4:45), 6:45, 7:15, 9:45.

Prometheus-R-FRI-WED (12:00, 3:00), 6:00, 9:00.

Prometheus (3D)-R-FRI (12:30, 1:00, 3:30, 4:00), 6:30, 7:00, 9:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:30, 1:00), 3:30, 4:00, 6:30, 7:00, 9:30, 10:00. MON-WED (12:30, 1:00, 3:30, 4:00), 6:30, 7:00, 9:30, 10:00.

Think Like A Man-PG13-THU (11:35, 2:35, 5:20), 8:25.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting-PG13THU (11:40, 2:15, 4:55), 7:25, 9:55. FRI (11:40, 2:10, 4:55), 7:25, 9:55. SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:10), 4:55, 7:25, 9:55. MON-WED (11:40, 2:10,

MAUI NEWS WITH

MAUITIME

FLAVOR

4:55), 7:25, 9:55.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) The Avengers-PG13-THU (12:15, 3:30), 6:45, 10:00. FRI (12:15, 3:30), 6:45, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:15), 3:30, 6:45, 9:45. MON-WED (12:15, 3:30), 6:45, 9:45.

Battleship-PG13-THU (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00.

FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45.

Chernobyl Diaries-R-THU (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:30.

Madagascar 3-PG-FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

SEAN

isn’t what they thought it would be like. Really? They had to make a movie about that? 110 min.

LAST CHANCE

.com

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER 808.250.1788

MAUIWEDDINGMEDIAS.COM

CHERNOBYL DIARIES - R - Horror Monsters terrorize some hot tourists who visit the nuclear wreckage of Chernobyl in Russia. As though nuclear meltdown wasn’t scary enough. 90 min.

DARK SHADOWS - PG13 - Comedy - In the 1970s this was a vampire soap opera, but in Tim Burton’s hands it’s become a quirky flick starring Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins, a once-imprisoned blood sucker who must now protect his dysfunctional descendants. 113 min.

THE PIRATES! BAND OF MISFITS - PG - Animation - It’s a cartoon about pirates, people. 88 min.

THINK LIKE A MAN - PG13 - Comedy - All is fair in love and war–including reverse-reverse-reverse psychology based on Steve Harvey’s (real) book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. 123 min.

JUNE 7, 2012

21

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

BIG SHOWS

STELLA’S SUPPER CLUB WITH JOHN CRUZ - Fri, Jun 8. A 4-course dinner featuring live music by John Cruz. $60. 6pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com KENNY LOGGINS IN CONCERT - Fri, Jun 8. See Picks on page 17. $45, $55, $65, $85 and a limited no. of premium seats for $125. 7:30pm Castle Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org ZENSHIN DAIKO’S 13TH ANNUAL TAIKO FESTIVAL - Sat, Jun 9. Zenshin Daiko sponsors its annual concert to bring taiko groups to Maui for the community to enjoy. Featured guests will include Kimo & Jody Huybrechts of Ranga Pae, Toru Watanabe and Michelle Fujii of Portland Taiko and Zenshin Daiko. $20 / $10 children.

7pm Castle Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469 (SHOW); zenshindaiko.com JAZZ CLUB MAUI PRESENTS SLAM! - Sat, Jun 9. Jazz Club Maui combines great food and drinks, top shelf music with host band, SLAM! featuring David Choy and Kelly Covington, and a sophisticated, yet inviting, lounge experience for a fun and memorable night out. Admission only or Dinner & Drink Packages are available. 8:30pm Royal Lahaina Resort, (2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina); 808-661-3611 REPUBLIK MUSIC FESTIVAL WITH STEEL PULSE & SLIGHTLY STOOPID - Sun, Jun 10. See Picks on page 17. $42.50/GA, $90/VIP (in advance), $48/GA (on event day). 3pm A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-2427469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SLACK KEY SHOW – MASTERS OF HAWAIIAN MUSIC - Wed, Jun 13. George Kahumoku Jr. hosts this Grammy Award-winning concert series. Co-hosted by Da Ukulele Boyz, a different guest artist is featured each week. Dinner/show package available with Sea House Restaurant (adjacent to the concert hall; 5:30pm seating). $39.99. 7:30-9:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort Pavilion, (5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; slackkey.com / napilikai.com

FOODIE

FOUR PINOTS WINE SEMINAR: CHARDONNAY Thu, Jun 7. $98/person + tax & gratuity. 1:30-3pm Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-8748000; fourseasons.com/maui FOUR PINOTS WINE DINNERS - Thu, Jun 7. Anthill Farms at Ferraro’s, Brewer-Clifton at Duo, Patz & Hall at Spago’s and Costa de Oro at Capische?. $198/person + tax & gratuity. 6:30-9pm Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8000; fourseasons.com/maui PLUMPJACK WINE DINNER - Thu, Jun 7. The wines of PlumpJack represent their world-class vineyard origins with full-bodied, elegant expression and an approachable style. This elaborately created 4-course menu is paired perfectly with this Napa Valley great. $150/person + tax & gratuity. 6:30pm The Banyan Tree Restaurant, (1 RitzCarlton Dr., Lahaina); 808-669-6200 FOUR PINOTS WINE SEMINAR: PINOT NOIR - Fri, Jun 8. $98/person + tax & gratuity. 1:30-3pm Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8000; fourseasons.com/maui PINOT SUPERSTARS WINE SEMINAR - Fri, Jun 8.

Hosted by Master Sommelier Michael Jordan, top Pinot specialists showcase favorites from the five AVA’s of California: Russian River Valley, Carneros, Sonoma Coast, Santa Maria Valley/Santa Lucia Highlands. Regular: $65, Kamaaina: $55. 2-3:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com

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JUNE 7, 2012

FOUR PINOTS WINE DINNERS - Fri, Jun 8. Anthill Farms at Ferraro’s, Brewer-Clifton at Duo, Patz & Hall at Spago’s and Costa de Oro at Capische?. $198/person + tax & gratuity. 6:30-9pm Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8000; fourseasons.com/maui THE GRAND TASTING - KAPALUA STYLE - Fri, Jun 8. Hosted by Modern Luxury Magazine. Let your palate explore premium and rare celebrated wines from regions around the world and savor the cuisine of Kapalua’s culinary stars and locally grown produce. Live local entertainment. Regular: $140, Kamaaina: $130. 6:30-9:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, Beach House Lawn, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com KAPALUA WINE & FOOD FESTIVAL’S WINEMAKERS’ DINNERS - Sat, Jun 9. Wine and dine with Festival Winemakers. For more information on these aweinspiring dinners and priceless opportunities. Locations and times vary; kapalua.com “ORGANIC VINES MAKE BETTER WINES” SEMINAR - Sat, Jun 9. Amigo Bob Cantisano will present the practical and esoteric aspects of producing wine grapes using non toxic organic farming. He advises nearly 50 organic grape growers and wineries in California and Oregon. Regular: $65, Kamaaina: $55.

11am-12:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com COOKING DEMONSTRATION WITH CELEBRITY CHEF RON SIEGEL - Sat, Jun 9. Chef Siegel is regarded as one of America’s culinary superstars. As the first U.S. citizen to win on Iron Chef, Chef Siegel is known for blending haute French cuisine with subtle Japanese touches. Regular: $95, Kamaaina: $85. 1-3pm RitzCarlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com TASTING WITH HEIDI BARRETT AND LA SIRENA WINES - Sat, Jun 9. Heidi Barrett is regarded as one of Napa Valley’s foremost winemakers. With great enthusiasm, a love for what she does, and an abundance of experience, Heidi’s instinctive gift of integrating the art and science of winemaking is unparalleled. Regular: $75, Kamaaina: $65. 3-4:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com SPARKLERS BY THE SPA WINE TOUR - Sat, Jun 9. Sample a variety of Sparkling Wines provided by Domaine Carneros and hosted by Winemaker TJ Evans of Domaine Carneros accompanied by an assortment of chocolates, truffles and other sweet treats. Kapalua Spa will provide a sampling of “mini” services. Regular: $35, Kamaaina: $35. 4-5:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com “COME JOIN OUR TABLE” 4-COURSE WINE DINNER - Sat, Jun 9. The Plantation House Restaurant & Fred Scherrer invite you to “Come Join Our Table.” This is another in their ongoing Wine Dinner Program and a return of Fred to the Plantation House. $90/person + tax & gratuity. 6pm The Plantation House Restaurant, (2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua); 808-669-6299; theplantationhouse.com FOUR PINOTS GALA ON FOUR SEASONS OCEAN FRONT LAWN - Sat, Jun 9. Featuring 40 wines & Farm to Table Action Stations. $98/person + tax & gratuity.

6:30-10pm Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8000; fourseasons.com/maui PISONI WINE DINNER - Sat, Jun 9. A 4-course dinner with Gary Pisoni of Pisoni Vineyards featuring a USDA prime filet mignon of beef and Maui cattle beef heart. $115 per person plus tax and gratuity. 6:30pm Merriman’s, (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808-669-6400 VIVA ESPANA! A TASTING OF PREMIUM SPANISH WINES SEMINAR - Sun, Jun 10. A comprehen-

sive tasting of wines from one of the hottest regions in winemaking. Hosted by Master candidate Charles Fredy, he will lead this fun and informative tasting of wines from several areas of Spain. Regular: $65, Kamaaina: $55.

11am-12:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com THE RITZ-CARLTON WINE TOUR - Sun, Jun 10. Sample a variety of wines from local market distributors; locations throughout The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua hotel property.

Regular: $35, Kamaaina: $35. 1-3pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com KINGS OF CABERNET PANEL - WINE SEMINAR - Sun, Jun 10. The Kings of the Cabernet world join in for a fun and informative tasting of some of the world’s favorite Cabernets. Hosted by MS and winemaker of Word Wines, Michael Jordan. Regular: $65, Kamaaina: $55. 3-4:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com SEAFOOD FESTIVAL - Sun, Jun 10. The grand finale event showcases Maui’s top chefs and the bounty of the Pacific! Enjoy wine, beer and spirits while you mingle with winemakers, chefs and friends right on the Beach House Lawn! Live entertainment. Regular: $140, Kamaaina: $130. 6:30-9:30pm Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, Beach House Lawn, (1 Ritz Carlton Dr.); 808-669-6200; kapalua.com TOAST! FIVE-COURSE RUM PAIRING DINNER Tue, Jun 12. Celebrate fine wine and good food, with a portion of proceeds benefitting the Maui Visitor Industry Charity Walk. Limited seating available; full menu at website. Reservations are required. Valet parking is complimentary with dinner. $100 per person. Grand Wailea Resort and Spa, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234 ext. 4900; waileadining.com PLUMPJACK WINE DINNER - Tue, Jun 12. Travaasa Hana is partnering with Napa Valley’s PlumpJack Winery to provide guests a complete four-course wine pairing experience. Enjoy the intriguing complexity of PlumpJack wines paired with the culinary creations of executive chef Barry Villiarimo. $125 per person, inclusive of tax and gratuities (Reservations required). 6pm Travaasa Hana’s Kauiki Restaurant, (5031 Hana Hwy., Hana); 808-2488211; travaasa.com/hana MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S OPENING NIGHT TWILIGHT RECEPTION - Wed, Jun 13. Owner & award winning chef, Brian Etheredge, will wow you with truly unique, inventive, and delicious selections complimented by refreshing Stella Artois beer, Maui’s own Organic Ocean Vodka cocktails, and wines by Johnson Brothers. $125. 5:30-7:30pm Capische? at Hotel Wailea, (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com; boxoffice@mauifilmfestival.com HONU SEAFOOD & PIZZA KAMA’AINA - Daily. 25 percent off food and drinks at bar and chef’s bar. Hawaii driver’s license required. 4:30pm Honu Seafood & Pizza, (1295 Front St, Lahaina); 808-667-9390; honumaui. com

TICKETS ON SALE

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL - Daily (except Mon & Tue).

Maui Film Festival 2012 features high-quality films shown on a 50-foot-wide screen under the stars in south Maui at Wailea Resort and in the MACC’s Castle Theater. $40-$545, VIP passes available. 808-5799244; mauifilmfestival.com MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S OPENING NIGHT TWILIGHT RECEPTION - Wed, Jun 13. Owner & award winning chef, Brian Etheredge, will wow you with truly unique, inventive, and delicious selections complimented by refreshing Stella Artois beer, Maui’s own Organic Ocean Vodka cocktails, and wines by Johnson Brothers. $125. 5:30-7:30pm Capische? at Hotel Wailea, (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com;

boxoffice@mauifilmfestival.com MAUI UNITED WAY’S ANNUAL MEETING & RECOGNITION LUNCHEON - Fri, Jun 15. Join Maui United Way as they celebrate their supporters at their 43rd annual meeting and luncheon. Tickets must be purchased by June 8, 2012. Purchases can be made on their website. $35. 11am Kahili Golf Course, Nahele Ballroom, (2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Wailuku); 808-244-8787; mauiunitedway.org/; admin@mauiunitedway.org STELLA’S SUPPER CLUB WITH HAPA - Fri, Jun 15.

A 4-course dinner featuring live music by HAPA. $60.

6pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808874-3779; stellablues.com TASTE OF CHOCOLATE - Fri, Jun 15. Co-hosted by Variety, Maui Film Festival’s over-the-top event for lovers of chocolate! Eat it, drink it, love it. Dress up and experience the never-been-there, never-had-that, extraordinary flavors and sensual experience that is the Taste of Chocolate. $125. 10pm Four Seasons Resort, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com; boxoffice@ mauifilmfestival.com TASTE OF WAILEA - Sat, Jun 16. The most mouth watering moments of our 13th annual Taste of Wailea will be presented by Wailea Resorts’ most celebrated chefs and restaurants, complimented by a delicate assortment of fine wines, refreshing beer, and exotic Maui-tinis. $120.

4:30pm David Leadbetter Golf Academy, Wailea Gold & Emerald Golf Course, (100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 808-579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com; boxoffice@mauifilmfestival.com 4 FATHERS & 4 SONS: HAWAIIAN SLACK KEY MASTERS - Sat, Jun 16. In celebration of Father’s Day, don’t miss this good-natured music competition of father and son duos, then fathers vs. sons on stage, featuring Dennis & David Kamakahi, Richard & Kai Ho‘opi‘i, Kevin & Ikaika Brown and George & Keoki Kahumoku. $25/standard, $45/VIP (with preshow meet and greet). 7:30pm McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org FATHER’S DAY CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH FEATURING MELVEEN LEED - Sun, Jun 17. Come celebrate Father’s Day with an all-you-can-eat buffet, and a performance by the incomparable Melveen Leed. In addition to live entertainment, select Maui Brewing Co. beers will be served on tap along side a Harley-Davidson motorcycle display. Adults $46.95, 12 years old & younger $25.00, and 5 years old & younger eat free (one child per paid adult). 8am-1pm Ka’anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011; http://hawaiiansundaybrunch.com MAKENA FATHER’S DAY BRUNCH - Sun, Jun 17.

Brunch highlights include hearty signature breakfast selections like buttermilk pancakes and smoked bacon, carving and dessert stations, Poke bar, sashimi, peel-neat shrimp, crab legs, BBQ baby back ribs and more! Includes sparkling Wine or mimosas. Adult $48, Child $24 (Age 5-12). 9:30am-12:30pm Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; makenaresortmaui.com/ SUNDAY STARRY NIGHT MOONDANCE - Sun, Jun 17. Meet your friends at the festival’s sexiest dance party! Power up with pupus specially created by Mulligan’s newest chef, Tim Nelson, complemented by libations courtesy of Maui’s own organic Ocean Vodka and a great beer selection. Special live music TBA. $75 (21 and over). 10pm Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com; boxoffice@mauifilmfestival.com SAVOR THE SUNSET - Fri, Jun 22. The 3rd Annual Rotary Club of Lahaina Fundraiser to complete the face-

TheGRID

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SATURDAY

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MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

6/11-6/13

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-9pm; no cover

Annie & The Orphanz 9:30pm; no cover

Flashback Saturdays Dance Party w/ DJ Z 9:30pm; no cover

Steel Pulse After Party 9pm; $10 before 11pm, $15 after 11pm

MON - Clay Mortensen Trio, 4-7pm / TUE Pi’ilani Arias, 5-8pm / WED - Teri Garrison, 4-8pm; Karaoke Night w/ Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / DigiLuxe w/ DJ Kurt,10pm (both sets no cover)

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - DJ Skinny Guy / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ LaRage / WED - Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA (all sets 10pm; no cover)

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

BLUE LAGOON

Ladies Night 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; no cover

Bob Jones 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Sam Ahia 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Caroll / TUE - Jordan Cuddy / WED - Ekolu Kalama (all sets 7-9:30pm; no cover)

Upcountry Sundays Acoustic Style w/ Eddie Tanaka, 2pm; $7 donation

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: “Back to the Future: w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

CASANOVA

Rootz N Creation, Teomon & Super Dub Tribe 10pm; $10

CHARLEY’S

Deep Cover 10pm; $5

Inna Vision “No Stopping” Feat. Selectah Status Sound Kru, 10pm; $10

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7:3010pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Pool Tournament 6:30pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

A Kettle Prime 2012 Reunion 9pm; no cover

House Shakers 6:30pm; no cover

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Rampage, 10pm / WED - Keagan Smith (From Oregon) (all sets no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Chad Kaya 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Service Industry Night 10pm; no cover

MON - Glen Awong / TUE - Big John WED - Erin’s Mix (all sets 10pm; no cover)

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Jahmaka 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close (all sets no cover)

Evan Shulman 5-8pm / DJ TBD, 9pm (both sets no cover)

The House Shakers 8-11pm; no cover

R.E. Metoyer Blues, Rock & Soul Revue 11am-4pm, no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

lift of the Lahaina Public Library will literally rock with an all evening performance of JD on the Rocks Band.

Also featuring a great auction, pupus, and wine tasting!. $50 advance, $60 at door, $450 tables of 10. 5:309pm Royal Lahaina Resort, (2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina); 808-669-5909; www.rotaryclublahaina.org; norm@ mauicommunicators.com

EVENTS

THURSDAY, JUN 07

ANNABELLE EASTLING ART OPENING - “Characterized by bold lines and rich, vibrant color, Eastling paints sensual figures and passionate abstract landscapes. Her work is rooted in introspection, the exploration of relationships and evocative healing experiences.”. Free. 9pm South Shore Tiki Lounge, (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; southshoretikilounge.com/ MARCH ON MAUI: SUPPORT CLEAN SKY ORDINANCE - A family friendly mobile event set to infuse the island with love. The route includes 4-8 miles of leisurely walking each day with events that include music, speakers, food & kid friendly activities. Bring your own dish/utensils and some food to share. Free. Hana, Haiku, Makawao/ Paia, Kihei and Wailuku; marchonmaui@gmail.com MAUI SMUG - The in-real-life forum for all social media users on Maui. Capacity is limited. Be sure to register early. Free (not catered). 4-6:30pm Honua Kai Resort & Spa, (130 Kai Malina Parkway, Lahaina); mauismug.com

FRIDAY, JUN 08

WINGS PRESENTS “DREAMERS AND SCHEMERS” - Peter & Melinda Wing, a husband-and-wife duo of storytellers and musicians, will present “Dreamers and Schemers: Folks with Big Ideas!” The event will feature interactive and humorous stories, songs, and skits derived from traditional folklore and music. Free. 10:30-11:30am Kihei Public Library, (35 Waimahaihai St.); 808-8756833; http://librarieshawaii.org

Karaoke

LAHAINA SECOND FRIDAY - This family-friendly party will feature food and drink specials at restaurants and eateries, the renowned “Art Night,” a free concert in Campbell Park, outdoor movies, first class shopping and oceanfront ambiance. 6-9pm Front Street, Lahaina; mauifridays.com/lahaina MANGO YOU...MANGO ME! CELEBRATION - All the restaurants of the Wharf Cinema Center will pay homage to the locally grown Lahaina mango with a special featured mango dish or drink! Featuring live music with Uncle Lui, a keiko mango eating contest, Homemade mango “dish” challenge and more!. Free. 6pm The Wharf Cinema Centers Shops and Restaurants, (658 Front St., Lahaina); facebook.com/events/322561014487179 NEIL SURF ART RECEPTION - First night of the Neil Surf Art hanging. 15% sales goes to charity. Organic fresh pressed juices available for purchase or BYOB. Free. 6-9pm Wailuku Coffee Company, (28 N. Market St., Wailuku) “HA’INA HOU - LET THE STORY BE TOLD” - A monthly event with fun activities, a performance of Maui Taiko at the Wo Hing Museum, and ohana movie night with feature films from “Na Maka o ka ‘Aina” at Baldwin Home Museum. Free. 6:30pm Baldwin Home Museum and Wo Hing Muesums, (Front Street, Lahaina); 808661-3262; lahainarestoration.org/baldwin.html WOMEN ONLY WELLNESS WEEKEND AT CAMP KEANAE - Experience the magic of Keanae with a spa weekend wellness retreat for women only!

Enjoy facials, massages, manicures, pedicures, yoga, zumba, art & music therapy, jewelry making, rejuvenating hikes and swims, tasty catered meals and more!

YMCA Camp Keanae, (13375 Hana Hwy., Keanae); 808-248-8355; mauiymca.org ARTISAN FAIR - Come to shop, stay to dine. Local

WED - Karaoke

made on Maui artists showcasing and selling artwork, photography, jewelry, accessories, clothing, massage & wellness, and much more! Cash bar and complimentary valet. Free entry. 5-10pm Longhi’s Lahaina, (888 Front St.); 808-667-2288; longhis.com

to respond appropriately to respiratory and cardiac emergencies and get trained how to operate an AED in case of a sudden cardiac emergency. Register online or call. $110. 1-7pm American Red Cross, (45 N. Market Street, Suite A); 808-733-2767; redcross.org

SATURDAY, JUN 09

LADIES DAY OUT - Book our “Ladies Day Out” package that includes a guided walking tour, aromatic lavender tea and delicious lavender scone. Guided walking tour times are at 9:30am, 10:30am, 11:30am, 1pm and 2:30 pm on June 9 & 21 and July 14 & 23. $10 per person plus tax. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, (1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-878-3004; aklmaui.com/default.aspx

NIGHT OF SHOOTING STARS - Basketball Maui & Active Faith present a night of fun, food, prizes and entertainment for the whole family. Pre-game concert at 3pm, celebrity basketball game at 5pm and feature game spotlighting NBA players at 6pm. $10 ($15 at the door), kids 6 and under get in free! 3-9pm Lahaina Civic Center, (1840 Honoapiilani Hwy.); wayne@nightofshootingstars. com

KING KAMEHAMEHA GOLF CLUB’S E MALAMA 2012 - King Kamehameha Golf Club’s E Malama 2012 to benefit Royal Hawaiian Guard & Hui O Wa`a Kaulua. $95 per person. 7am King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-249-0033; kamehamehagolf.com

DIAMOND BALL - Aloha Ballroom Dance Academy presents “Diamond Ball.” An evening with dinner, a cash bar, open dancing and performances. $75 per person.

6-10pm Kahili Golf Course, Nahele Banquet Room, (2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Wailuku); 808-879-0055; alohaballroom.com

KUPA’A 16-U GIRLS SOFTBALL BIKE WASH - The Kupa’a 16-U Girls Softball will be having a Bike Wash to raise money for the upcoming Rainbow Invitational Tournament on Oahu. They will also be selling smoke meat and gandule rice plate lunches for $8. 10am-3pm Steel Horse Saloon, (1234 Lower Main St, Wailuku); 808-2432206; facebook.com/cheersbikerbar

OBON FESTIVAL - Obon service begins at 7pm, obon dancing starts at 8pm. Free. 7pm Puunene Nichiren Mission, (9 Ani St., Kahului); 808-871-4831

MINA PHARMACY GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION - Join Mina Pharmacy for their official Grand Opening with giveaways, refreshments, entertainment, customer health fair and cash booth, and a live broadcast with KPOA. Free. 11am-2pm Queen Kaahumanu Center, (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-856-8030; facebook.com/minapharmacymaui CPR/AED FOR THE PROFESSIONAL RESCUER - Those with a duty to respond, learn the skills needed

SOUTH MAUI TRIATHLON - An Olympic distance swim, bike, run event that starts and finishes on the grounds of the Wailea Beach Marriott Resort. Race packet pickup expo is on June 9 from 9am-3pm at the ballroom and bike check-in from 1pm-3pm. Main event runs from 6am-2pm on Sunday. Registration fees: $145$185. Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa, (3700 Wailea Alanui); 808-271-4057; southmauitriathlon.com/; info@ southmauitriathlon.com UPCOUNTRY AG AND FARM FAIR - Now celebrating its 32nd year, the tradition continues with an ‘Ohana Ranch rodeo, 4-H livestock auction, Whole Foods Market agricultural tent, and entertainment hosted by Haleakala Ranch. Activities for the whole family! Free. 8am-4pm Os-

JUNE 7, 2012

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HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM/LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEEKEND

THURSDAY 6.7

THREE’S OPEN MIC NIGHT W/

HALF OFF THE LIQUOR 9PM • NO COVER

FRIDAY 6.8

THE CRUNCH PUPS 10PM

Indrustry drInk prIcIng FRIDAY 10pm - 1am 21+ NO COVER

DJ KAMIKAZE 10PM

SATURDAY 8pm - 11pm 21+ NO COVER

SATURDAY 6.9

$3 YOU CALL IT’S FROM 10PM TIL 11PM

SUNDAY 6.10

ACOUSTIC SESSIONS W/

CHAD KAYA

HALF OF LIQUOR

WEDNESDAY 6.13

9PM

BLUES WITH THE HOUSE SHAKERS 8:30PM • NO COVER

808.879.3133

1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G 24

JUNE 7, 2012

DJ SCOTTY D THE HOUSE SHAKERS

TheGRID

THURSDAY

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6/8

SATURDAY

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SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

6/10

6/11-6/13

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

John Grover, 7pm

MON - That’s What I’m Talking About TUE - Da Ha-y-ans WED - Herb Anderson (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 8-10pm; no cover

1810 / Sam’s Jazz All Stars, 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; no cover

MON - Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

WED - Jordan Tolentino, 9pm; no cover

Kawika, 7pm

KOBE STEAKHOUSE LAHAINA CAFE

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pmclose; no cover)

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

Open Mic Night w/ Johnny Ringo 10pm; no cover

JAY’S PLACE KAHALE’S

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

Pool Tournament 7-9pm

MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE

Free Karaoke

Live Music

DJs & Go-Go Dancers

TUE - Free Karaoke

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR

Lynndy Klevin 7-9pm; no cover

Kahala 7-9pm; no cover

Eric Dotterer and Gabriel 7-9pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Night, 6-10pm; no cover

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

kie Rice Field and Arena, (Olinda Road, Makawao); 808872-3310; upcountryfairmaui.com HAWAII ANIMAL RESCUE FOUNDATION DOG ADOPTIONS - HARF removes dogs from shelters filled to capacity, provides them veterinary and foster care, and then finds them homes. Come meet our furry friends!

10am-4pm Petco, (270 Dairy Rd., #144, Kahului); 808876-0022; hawaiiananimalrescue.org HOLOKAI CLUB - Enjoy free arts & crafts and educational tables geared towards children in grades K-5th grade. Free. 10am-12pm Queen Kaahumanu Center, (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

SUNDAY, JUN 10

WORLD OCEANS DAY DISCOVERY CRUISES - Pacific Whale Foundation is offering cruises to all HI residents and to PWF members, as part of a global celebration of World Oceans Day. The one-hour cruises depart from Ma’alaea Harbor at 1pm, 2:30pm & 3pm and Lahaina Harbor at 11am and 2pm. Free (reservations required). Pacific Whale Foundation (Ma’alaea and Lahaina), 808-249-8811 ext. 1; pacificwhale.org EARTH MEDICINE INSTITUTE OPEN HOUSE AND PLANT MEDICINE CELEBRATION - The Open House will feature live music, locally based food, student project demonstrations and mini-classes on medicine making, traditional plant gathering practices and the art and science of using plants for food and medicine. Donation.

1-4pm Hale Akua Garden Farm, (Door of Faith Road, Huelo); 808-280-0687; earthmedicineinstitute.com SOUTH MAUI TRIATHLON - An Olympic distance swim, bike, run event that starts and finishes on the grounds of the Wailea Beach Marriott Resort. Race

CLOSED

CLOSED

CLOSED

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover

Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 9pm-close; $5

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike and Money Mike 10pm-close; $10

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish the Dish 9:30pm; no cover

Fontaine Fundraiser feat. Ginai Hill 5:30pm; $75 donation

The Sirens 6:30-9pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley + Irish dancing lessons 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Annie & Dan from Annie and the Orfinz, 6:30pm / TUE - Brenton Keith, 7pm WED - TBD (all sets no cover)

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays, 10pm; no cover

Latin Night 10pm; $10

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm; $10 / TUE - DJ Blast, 9:45 pm; $5 / WED - Open Mic w/ Red & Catfish 9:30-close; no cover

packet pickup expo is on June 9 from 9am-3pm at the ballroom and bike check-in from 1pm-3pm. Main event runs from 6am-2pm on Sunday. Registration fees: $145$185. Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa, (3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea); 808-271-4057; southmauitriathlon.com; info@southmauitriathlon.com

the community with an overview of the Kahekili Herbivore Fisheries Management Area and recent and ongoing efforts in support of this protected site. Refreshments will be served. Free. 6-8pm Lahaina Civic Center, (1840 Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-669-9062; facebook.com/ kaanapalimakaiwatch; Lfoote@coral.org

UPCOUNTRY AG AND FARM FAIR - Now celebrating its 32nd year, the tradition continues with an ‘Ohana Ranch rodeo, 4-H livestock auction, Whole Foods Market agricultural tent, and entertainment hosted by Haleakala Ranch. Activities for the whole family! Free. 8am-4pm Oskie Rice Field and Arena, (Olinda Road, Makawao); 808-872-3310; upcountryfairmaui.com/

WEDNESDAY, JUN 13

TUESDAY, JUN 12

ISSUES FORUM AND SENATE CANDIDATES CASE AND HIRONO DEBATE - AARP Hawaii will sponsor a debate between Ed Case and Mazie K. Hirono, Democratic candidates for the U.S. Senate. The debate will begin at 10:30am, preceded by a discussion forum highlighting state and federal issues of concern to HI residents age 50+. Free. 9-11:30am Maui Beach Hotel, (170 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 877-926-8300; aarp. event.com/mauidebate MAUI NATIVE HAWAIIAN CHAMBER MEETING - A panel of Kamehameha Schools Extension Programs faculty will explain the success of their experience-based culturally focused outreach programs on Maui, for students not attending KS campuses. Cocktails & networking followed by dinner and forum. $20 (Dinner). 5:30pm Maui Tropical Plantation, (1670 Honoapiilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-874-2426 (RSVP by June 9); Kai.Pelayo@grandwailea.com KA’ANAPALI MAKAI WATCH MEETING - Ka’anapali Makai Watch will host an informational meeting to provide

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CLOSED

KIDS DAY OUT - Ali’i Kula Lavender is the perfect place to spend your Summer Break! Our Kids Day Out event includes fun activities like mini bouquet making, potting your own lavender plant and more! Lavender lemonade and shortbread cookies provided to all participants. $10 per person plus tax. 10am Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, (1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula); 808-878-3004; aklmaui.com/default.aspx MOVIE SCREENING OF VANISHING OF THE BEES - Join us as we celebrate the amazing Honey Bee by offering a special screening of Vanishing of the Bees, an important documentary on the challenge facing honey bees and beekeepers. Hope you can join us! Free.

5:30pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; vanishingbees.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BUZZ’S WHARF - Thu, Marvin Tevaga 4-7:30pm. (960 Front St., Lahaina); 808-244-5426.

CANOES - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm; Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937.

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Ekolu Kalama 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Bob Jones 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Sam Ahia 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll

TUE - Taco Tuesdays, 4-10pm

7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:30-10pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter deAquino 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL - Every Sun & Mon, David Wolfberg 6pm. (900 Front St. Suite A101, Lahaina); 808-662-3000.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback & Junior Lacuesta 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon & Danyel Alana 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku & Peter DeAquino 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Kulewa 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika, Roy & Albert 6:30pm; Sat, Ron, Ikaika & Damon 1:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian Trio 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina); 808-667-6636.

JUNE 7, 2012

25

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6/10

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

6/11-6/13

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM Jazz Club Maui w/ host band SLAM! 8:30pm; $15

ROYAL LAHAINA

2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Un-corked & Unplugged 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Blast 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Kanoa 10pm-close

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Dan & Anne 7-10pm; no cover

DJ Cleveland 7-10pm

Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; no cover

Jordan Tolentino & Gordon Samuelson 9-21pm; no cover

Ladies Night

Jes’ Us 8:30pm; no cover

Kawika Ortiz 8:30pm; no cover

Biker Karaoke w/ Toby 6pm; no cover

MON - Mahalo Mondays / WED Free Pool & Karaoke, 6pm-close

Ah-Tim 4-6pm; no cover

Anuhea 5pm & 8pm; $60 w/ dinner

Anuhea 5pm & 8pm; $60 w/ dinner

Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; no cover

MON - Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm (all sets no cover)

Maui Underground Alana’s B-Day Bash 9pm; $4

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai ); 808-667-0787.

KIMO’S - Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Barefoot Minded 8-10pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake and Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Fri, Nuff Said 8-10pm.

(845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA CAFE - Fri, Alex L Calma 7-9pm. (843 Wainee St Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina); 808-667-6655.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:309:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J); 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Tue, Fierce, Alternative Night w/ DJ Blast 9:30pm-2am; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Fri, Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; Tue, “Lahaina Idol” karaoke with Troy 9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina); 808-661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, David Choy 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808669-6400.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Sat, Jazz on the Green 7-10pm; Fri, Jawaiian Music 7-10pm. (200 Kapalua Drive, Kapalua); 808-669-9600.

Karaoke/Family Night 6pm; no cover

Live Music & Dancing 8pm; no cover

Open Mic Night 9pm; no cover

The Crunch Pups 10pm; no cover

Karaoke

TUE - DJ LX / WED - Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover) WED - Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm; no cover

WED - Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover Live Music 5:30-7:30pm; no cover

WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Acoustic Sessions w/ Chad Kaya 9pm; no cover

WED - The House Shakers 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

closed

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ LX 9:45pm-2am; $10

Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:308:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6698889.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coelho Morrison 7-9pm; Sun, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei); 808-891-1011.

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. (300 Maalaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm; Sun, Mark Johnstone 6-9pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Mon, Jacob (of the Alliez) 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Island favorites with Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian and Friends 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Music by Rama 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Wed, Jarret & Wilson 6:308:30pm; Fri, Wolf 3-5pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:308:30pm; Sat, Barefoot Minded 3-5pm; Sat, Erin Smith 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 3-5pm; Sun, Kilohana 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Ron & Tarvin 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kilohana 6:30-8:30pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit

MON through WED - closed

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

B-201, Wailea); 808-891-2322.

MONSOON INDIA - Sat, Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, The Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm.

(760 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-4555.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Joel Katz 5:306:30pm; Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, The Sirens 6:30-9pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, Tyler Bush 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Twisted Hips Belly Dancing 6-8pm.

(34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Erin Smith 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays (all day) & Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED Singles’ Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions, 10pm (All sets no cover) Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:309:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:30-9:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., Kihei); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808877-0073.

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 5-9pm; Wed, Teri Garrison 4-8pm; Wed, Free Karaoke Night with Braddah Francis 8pm; Fri, Bradda Francis 4-8pm; Mon, Clay Mortensen Trio 4-7pm; Every Tue & Thu, Pi’ilani Arias 5-9pm; Sat, Pacquiao vs.

Bradley Fight 3pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001.

MAIN STREET BISTRO - Wed, Rythm & Blues with Freedom 6:30-9:30pm. (2051 Main St., Wailuku); 808244-6816.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Wed, Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen 7-10pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779.

CAFE DES AMIS - Thu, Joe Conte 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Live Argentinian music 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Mark Johnstone 6:30-8:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 808-8758080.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat,

CASANOVA - Sun, Upcountry Sundays Acoustic Style w/ Eddie Tanaka 2-5pm. (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220.

HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm; Mon-Fri, Hana Hou Cafe 6-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Thu, Open Mic Night with Wes Furumoto 6:30-9:30pm. (81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani);.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770.

JUNE 7, 2012

27

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BY CAERIEL CRESTIN GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Ready for launch, captain? Whoops, you look surprised; didn’t you realize your scheduled blastoff is today? It’s now too late to properly calculate the trajectory of your emotional rockets, but you can prepare in other ways.

For example: research possible places to crash land, and take stock of your inventory of practicality, flexibility, and resourcefulness. Last minute takeoffs are scary, but I predict: Reasonable preparations on your part this week will make you more than ready—(read: extremely likely)—to find and explore a lush, undiscovered land you’ve heretofore only dreamed about, and which you’d never have found without this “happy accident.”

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Lately people have been looking at you as they would at something that’s usually dangerous but has been rendered harmless, like a defanged cobra, a stinkless skunk, or a dismantled nuclear warhead, or perhaps a declawed crab. When deprived of a sense, people tend to become powerfully aware of their remaining senses, helping them to compensate, and often revealing hidden talents. In your case, it’s your potential for causing harm that’s been temporarily disarmed; however, that means you can now plumb the heretofore-unknown depths of your ability to instigate peace, stimulate joy, and radiate harmony.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) I dreamt you started a band called The Unstoppables, symbolic of your ability to accomplish virtually anything you set your mind to, even achieve long-term success in a fickle and unfriendly corporatized music industry.

You had the power to pull together a substantial and loyal fan base, get along fabulously with your diverse bandmates, and make a decent living off your music.

It was your mission. Is there anything in your life that you can identify as your purpose? Practice saying it: “______ is the reason I was put on this planet, and nothing can derail me from doing it.”

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) I’m bored with magicians who pull doves, rabbits, or tigers out of their hats. If you’ve been perpetuating this kind of un-amazing cliché, shame on you, Virgo.

Maybe you could pull something more useful out of it, like a cure for cancer, a cheap, renewable energy source, or a portable time machine. If you’re wasting your ability to perform real miracles on paltry sleightof-hand tricks, stop! I’m warning you, if you don’t exercise those stiff and unused muscles and perform at least one minor miracle this week, your candidacy for sainthood (or martyrdom, really) could be called into question. Use it or lose it, baby.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Egyptian pharaohs built pyramids as gravestones.

These represented their earthly power and wealth, a tangible symbol of the pharaoh’s importance. They also served as beacons to thieves, who knew that these rulers were entombed surrounded by their material fortunes. Eventually some pharaoh wised up and hid his tomb, to help prevent his stuff getting stolen after he was dead. It’s a practice I’d recommend for you, Libra—lately you’ve advertised your achievements more effectively than a pyramid could, and found most of their worth siphoned right out from beneath you. The next time you do something great, shut up about it, and enjoy more of the rewards.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Barbara Kingsolver writes an essay about her pet hermit crab, who’d periodically retreat into his shell and enter a death-like state, not eating, moving or responding to outside stimuli. Eventually, he’d emerge and go about his hermit crab business as if nothing had happened.

Finally she deduced that although the crab lived vast distances from the ocean, he was responding to the moon’s pull—it was high tide in Tucson again. Your own mysterious withdrawals probably seem as inexplicable to your intimates—and yourself—as a hermit crab’s private motivations. The difference is: you’re a conscious, sentient being, therefore capable of working with your

own tidal moods, or at least not torturing us with them.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Ideas have a life of their own. They seek to propagate themselves, to spread, mutate, evolve and grow. Some persist despite frantic efforts to stamp them out. Even those who despise superstitions can still feel compelled to not walk under ladders or step on cracks in the sidewalk, for instance. This is an example of ideas having a life beyond our conscious thought. I say all this to excite you, not to confuse or frighten you. Your own smart brain is ready to pump out ideas that will last for many years, maybe even forever. Make them positive, helpful ones.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Have you ever dreamt that you’re on stage, or delivering a presentation, and you have no idea what your next line is, or who you’re supposed to be? This week you may feel as if you fell backwards into a play you didn’t know you were in. Shoved out in front of the crowd, you probably won’t remember a single line, since you never knew any to begin with. But you must admit you’re thrilled to have an audience again, even if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Own your stardom, Cap. Your new mantra, from this day forward: Everyone wants to see me shine.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) A week of run-ins and unlikely confrontations awaits you. You’ll engage in a cutting battle of wits with your most devious, brilliant, and challenging adversary.

You’ll also need to deflect the poisonous attentions of the sexiest, most wickedly aggressive villain in your life.

Besides that, you’ll probably have to lock horns with that old billygoat who is your most dull, obstinate, conservative influence—and the one you have the most respect for. Be inspired, not daunted. Imagine each foot extended to trip you and hand outstretched to stop you as just another rung on the ladder of your achievement. Be flattered by the attention, not intimidated.

Remember; no one would spend this much time and energy opposing you if you didn’t matter.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) You’re about the only thing going forward this week.

Fierce, hurricane-force winds are lofting furiously pedaling witches on bicycles, tranny prostitutes tussling with their pimps, three-piece-suited businessmen, and the fat corner hot dog vendor downtown as you head uptown unimpeded. Don’t be distracted. Artfully dodge flying mailboxes, mannequins, and manna from heaven. Your goal is all that matters. Get a good grip on it, the only thing that promises to stay rooted and stable in all this chaos. Then and only then can you safely reach out a helping hand to those who need it, and pull them into the eye of your storm.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Before you call the local exorcist regarding your boss or girlfriend, make sure they’re actually possessed. I mean, isn’t that a little like the pot calling the grass green?

You’ve been so unlike yourself this past week that I’m sure at least one friend has noticed. Are you overworked or stressed out? Maybe. But isn’t it more likely that your perpetual quest for true freedom has led you to transcend the restrictions of your own self-definition? In other words, I hope you’ve realized that you’re just an actor playing the part of yourself. The sooner you understand that you also happen to be top understudy for a plethora of other roles, the freer you will be.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) In the future, we may travel to distant solar systems inside hollowed-out asteroids designed to function like little worlds. For decades, possibly even many generations, humans will live inside these planetoids while they cross galaxies in search of other life, or planets to populate. There’s no predicting what people (or their descendants) will be like after decades inside a traveling asteroid. The same thing, however, is true of ourselves—we may begin an action today with no concept of what the future consequences will be. In fact, I predict that any major decisions you make this week will have unforeseeable results. Not good or bad, just surprising.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: A–Four counts of third-degree sexual assault against a 15-year-old girl.

2: C–Scotts Miracle Grow Company

3: B–The park opening was rushed, and some small details needed to be finished.

SPIKE’S SONIC PLAYGROUND - FRIDAY’S 4-7PM

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

JUNE 7, 2012

29

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ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH IS OFFERING FREE HIV TEST-

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