15.40 Conspiracy Theorist David Icke, March 22, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 40, MauiTime

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MARCH 22, 2012

Contents VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

Who would you like to see in charge of an all-powerful secret conspiracy running the world?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Homer Simpson

Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Eric the Midget

Proofreader: Dina Wilson Betty Russo

Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Tommy Russo

Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com Brad Chambers

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Crispin Glover

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Anthony Bourdain

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Stewie

Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown George Clooney

Web Design: Linear Publishing

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Apple or Google

✚

ISSUE 40

COVER: Illustration of King Kalakaua as an invasive Jackson’s Chameleon

by Scrappers scrapperstown.com

4 10 12 17 19 20 21 22 23 28 29 30 31

READER FEEDBACK

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING THIS WEEK’S PICKS ALBUM REVIEW FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID KULA KID HOROSCOPE CLASSIFIED MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

BY READERS LIKE YOU more?!) drive crazy lawmaking!

HATES OLOWALU TOWN

Maui doesn’t owe the Olowalu Town LLC’s owners anything (Coconut Wireless, Mar. 15).

When Amfac dropped their sugar operation these “speculators” bought AGRICULTUREdesignated land with the hopes and intent of getting it changed to URBAN to make their big bucks. The key word here is “SPECULATE”: to take a chance, to take a gamble. Hopefully, they will lose and the area between Maalaea and Lahaina will remain open space without another 2,000 cars backed up from the Lahaina traffic lights.

They should be looking for crops to grow on the agriculture-designated land they bought.

-Kenny Barr, Kihei

LOVES PUPPIES

To the peckerhead that disposed of threeday old puppies on side of the road (Eh Brah, Mar. 15, 2012). There are so many organizations in Maui besides kill shelters that would have taken your puppies. But why tell you?

Mommy dog is now sick with milk and depression, you scumbag. Anyone knows who left these pups on the road have the balls to stand up and call me?

-Teri Lawrence, via MauiTime.com

LOVES TRIANGLE

We have enjoyed our visits to Maui, twice a year, for a number of years now. We love the South Kihei area, and the Triangle is a great spot for food, drink and music (“Has Time Run Out For The Triangle In Kihei?” Mar. 8, 2012).

Surely sane heads can prevail, and noise managed within reason. To kill businesses and employment, and take away one of the really special elements of South Kihei would be idiotic. Don’t let a few complaints from neighbors (apparently less than ONE every two months or

-“Jukester,” via MauiTime.com

For many years I have leased a house so close to the Triangle, we can hear it every single night. Unless, of course, we are busy making WAY MORE “NOISE” (aka MUSIC and ART) than them. Which we do. Professionally.

And so do our neighbors. This ALWAYS goes on until the wee hours before sunrise, whereupon it starts all over again. (And let’s face it, our music is the only way to drown out the horrific NOISE of landscaping, garbage removal, construction, and other industrial endeavors that no one seems to complain about. Hm...)

And yet we all get along! Yep! So much so, that, once upon a time when a (very rich) writer moved in to our neighborhood and started demanding quietness from everyone (including dogs, children, sports teams in the park) and calling police at all hours to complain–(who then HAD to follow up on these anonymous complaints)–which then caused the neighborhood to distrust and argue amongst ourselves for the 1st time.

Things were coming undone, quickly. UNTIL we all realized that WE, the PEOPLE (and animals) (and businesses) of our long standing COMMUNITY were being HARASSED by this odd new presence.

So we stood up for each other. We made it impossible to launch specific logical “complaints” to any one of us. For example, bearing witness to sound checks, creating more “noise” than ever in opposite directions, investigating the rights of animals to bark in their own homes, parks, etc. And it worked. The writer sold the house and moved on. Harmony in the hood has been fine ever since.

Let’s not give up, no matter what happens for now.

-“Vortex,” via MauiTime.com

Send your feedback to the editor

editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood

1. The Yahoo Travel website recently named Molokai to WHAT list, according to the Mar. 16 Pacific Business News?

A. “Amazing Undiscovered Islands.”

B. “Islands of Lost Paradise.”

C. “Places to See Before You Die.” D. “Islands You’d Never Guess Were Part of the U.S.”

2. On Mar. 13, state Department of Transportation officials held a public hearing at Pomaikai Elementary School in Kahului to discuss the future of Kahului Airport. According to a Mar. 15 Maui News story, which of the following is NOT part of the airport master plan?

A. Lengthening Runway 2-20 from 7,000 feet to 9,600 feet.

B. Lengthening Runway 5-23 from 4,995 feet to 7,000 feet.

C. Naming the airport after former Mayor Hannibal Tavares.

D. Expanding the main terminal.

3. According to a Mar. 18 Maui News story, which of the following individuals has NOT pulled papers to run for the state Representative district representing South Maui?

A. Incumbent Republican George Fontaine.

B. Former Representative Joe Bertram III. C. Boys & Girls Club of Maui Executive Director Colin Hanlon.

D. Maui County Councilman Don Couch.

See answers, page 29

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NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

THE LC PUNTS!

If you’re one of those adults who likes to imbibe an alcoholic beverage now and then, then last week’s Maui County Liquor Commission hearing was about the biggest story of the year. About a hundred people appeared on the morning of Wednesday, Mar. 14 in the little courtyard of the Trask Building in Wailuku, headquarters of the county’s Liquor Control department.

Most were people employed in some way at the Kihei Kalama Village (aka the “Barmuda Triangle”), and they were scared. That’s because the Liquor Commission that morning was taking up a proposed change to the county liquor rules that would prohibit all live entertainment at the Triangle after 10pm.

The LC was worried about two matters.

First, that the Triangle’s concentration of nine bars and restaurants was simply too noisy at night (a small handful of nearby residents testified at the hearing that that was indeed the case), though LC officials told me before the hearing that their sound monitoring efforts had failed to pinpoint a specific licensee who might be too loud.

Second, they didn’t like reports from the Maui Police Department of fights and trouble in the Triangle’s parking lots, though according to the MauiTime Publisher Tommy Russo, who attended the hearing, representatives of the PD testified that they were

That period of time, they reasoned, would give Triangle owners and management a chance to control the noise situation.

We barely passed the exam

SUGARCANE BURNS!

It’s Sugarcane Burn Season again! Starting this week, Central, South and Upcountry Maui residents are once again waking up with burning eyes and scratchy throats.

The reason? Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar has starting burning many of its 15,439 acres of sugarcane.

According to the copy of the 61-page Agricultural Burning Permit HC&S filed with the state of Hawaii Department of Health (which hilariously identifies the location of the burns as “SUGARCANE FIELS [sic] AS INDICATED ON CURRENT MAP, MAUI” in giant type on the permit’s first page) that MauiTime obtained, the company asked that the burning commence on Mar. 20.

Many people have asked me over the years why HC&S burns sugarcane in the fields as part of the harvesting process. HC&S officials field exactly that question (sorry for the pun) in the permit. When asked for the reason for the burn in the permit application, HC&S Plantation General Manager Rick W. Volner, Jr. gave the explanation to such a complex question in a scant 15 words: “Difficult to harvest and process unburned cane, need to minimize trash trans-

ported to the mill.”

Volner added that the materials workers will burn include “Leafy cane trash adhering to cane stalks and shed on the ground.”

HC&S is a 125-year company that, according to the company website, produces up to 200,000 tons of sugar every year, which it processes at the Puunene Mill on Maui. In 1898, HC&S joined Alexander & Baldwin, which did $1.72 billion in business last year.

Oh, and because HC&S intends to burn more than 1,000 acres, the burn permit filing fee was $1,500.

HAWAII BARELY PASSES ETHICS EXAM!

Just like the cavemen did it!

working with the Triangle’s security personnel to solve the problem.

Wailuku attorney Dave Jorgensen, who represents a number of liquor licensees, testified that it would be unwise for the LC to start modifying liquor licensees before they expire, but the majority of the 30 or so people who testified were Triangle owners and employees worried about their jobs and livelihoods. (Russo said that most of the 100 who gathered in the morning left after being told by LC staff that just 30 would be allowed to testify).

The hearing went on until the early afternoon, when the commission did two things, according to Akaku/radio personality Shawn Michael, who came in near the end. First they voted down an immediate rule change against the Triangle, but then they voted unanimously to revisit the issue in six months with another public hearing.

That’s right, folks! The great State of Hawaii has placed in the miserable middle of a 50-state ethics evaluation. According to the The State Integrity Investigation, a partnership of the terribly reputable and thorough Center for Public Integrity, Global Integrity and Public Radio International, Hawaii’s “Corruption Risk Report Card” shows our state receives a passing C. Barely.

While that state scored high on redistrict-

Overheard “Not the usual Stella Blues crowd tonight, huh? More of the Temple of Peace, Studio Maui crowd. Good night to go robbin’ tree houses in Haiku.”

-Man outside King Paris show at Stella Blues Cafe, Mar. 17

ing and having a powerful internal auditor, it earned Ds on such subjects as “Public Access to Information,” “Budget Process,” “State Pension Fund Management,” “Judicial Accountability” and the ever-popular “Lobbying Disclosure.” It also failed completely at “State Insurance Commissions.”

Given that most financial disclosure forms filed by public officials are confidential, Governor Neil Abercrombie thumbs his nose at the state’s open records law and officials still accept gifts from lobbyists, it’s not surprising that the state’s score was so mediocre. In fact, the following passages from the assessment, which deal with Maui’s own Speaker Emeritus Joe Souki, pretty much explain our state government’s ethical approach, and why it’s so problematic: “State Rep. Joe Souki worked a side job as a lobbyist for the American Chemistry Council while also voting against a fee for single-use checkout bags,” the assessment team noted. “And in October 2009 he told the Maui County Council’s Infrastructure Management Committee that replacing styrofoam with a natural sugar-based material would not solve solid waste problems and would add cost for Maui retailers, according to meeting minutes.

“Souki made clear that he was testifying not as a lawmaker but as a citizen and as a lobbyist for the American Chemistry Council. Later in the same meeting, Council member Michael Molina asked a styrofoam manufacturer if council members might be able to visit the company’s Oahu production plant when they fly over ‘to network with our legislators like Mr. Souki.’

“House Speaker Calvin Say defended his decision to allow Souki to vote on the bill.

‘Just because he represents that company does not mean he cannot vote up or down on the measure,’ he said.” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

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LOCAL PLUGS

BY JEN RUSSO represent our state well in each of these competitions, too.”

Valley Isle Gymnastics also recently moved their gym in Kahului, from 250 Alamaha, suite N8 to suite N3 at the same address. For more information, visit valleyislegymnastics.com or facebook.com/valleyislegymnastics. ■

Imua Family Services came from a humble beginning, helping children with polio in 1947. Now 65 years later, their services are different, but just as critical: their infant and child development programs reach more than 2,000 children on the island.

The organization has seen a terrific year of awards since Executive Director Dean Wong came on board–including getting named as one of Hawaii’s Best Places to Work. But being one of Maui’s most energetic and active non-profits doesn’t come cheap. In these lean times, they must depend on the community to make it

Jonathan You

MAUI GYMNAST JONATHAN YOU WINS GOLD

IMUA FAMILY SERVICES THROWS FANTASIA BALL

Maui athlete Jonathan You started his 2012 season off right by earning gold at the USA Gymnastics Men’s “Pot O Gold” meet in Honolulu on March 12. You is a 13-yearold Level 6 gymnast from Valley Isle Gymnastics in Kahului. He was the only Maui athlete at the Oahu meet and took the gold medal in vault and silver medal on the rings. You also placed fourth on floor and horizontal bar at the Pot-O-Gold meet.

“Our entire gym is so excited for Jonathan,” said Coach Rusty Gage of Valley Isle Gymnastics. “Not only was he the only man representing Maui at this particular meet, he’ll be the only man representing Maui competing in the upcoming April 1 state championships. From there, he’ll be one of an exclusive set of six men who’ve been chosen to represent all of Hawaii in the April 15 regional championships in Reno. I have no doubt he’ll

all happen. Imua’s next big break is their Fantasia Ball, which is planned for Friday, April 13 at the Grand Wailea.

Combining fashion, ballroom dancing, shopping, banquets, cocktails and an auction, this could be the best Friday the 13th you have ever spent.

Maui Designer Maggie Coulombe will launch her new line on the Fantasia Runway, which features more than 30 avant garde, newly designed ensembles. The UH Maui College, Fashion Technology students also have been given free rein and will have several of their looks on the catwalk.

Dancers trained by Seabury Hall’s Dance Director David Ward and Dance Teacher Vanessa Surrito, as well as ballroom dancers of Rita O’Connor Latin and Ballroom Dancing will delight patrons with Maui’s own Dr. Nat and Rio Ritmo Latin Dance Band in the ballroom. Later, DJ Del Sol will set feet on fire at Tsunami’s nightclub 'till the wee hours of the morning.

Young role model, author, musician and guest speaker Patrick Henry Hughes will also give a spotlight performance, as he exemplifies how all children, including those with disabilities, have great potential.

TWEET of the WEEK “Mimes not allowed in #TheTriangle after 10:00 p.m. That’s entertainment. #LCFail” -@SammyMacBob (Wailuku Attorney Sam MacRoberts), Mar. 14

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TEA FOR WOMEN HELPING WOMEN

Maui has only one 24-hour shelter for women and children who have been the victims of violence in the home: Women Helping Women. To ensure that the nonprofit will have an amazing year, consider supporting their annual fundraiser–an Elegant Afternoon Tea. This year’s tea is themed “Chinese Odyssey–Year of the Dragon” and will be held at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center on Sunday, April 29.

They plan to catapult the event to new heights this year by featuring a Ming Dynasty silent auction, Chinatown Marketplace, Chinese firecracker auction as well as incredible food and entertainment. They expect to sell out early to supporters so it’s best to reserve a table or ticket now.

If you would like to donate to the silent auction or reserve a sponsorship table call 242-6600 or visit whwmaui.net. Please have all auction donations, ads and sponsorships in by April 13. jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

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All the elegance begins with a cocktail reception and shopping experience in the Ballroom Courtyard with boutique shopping from business including Sephora, Latitudes, Biasa Rose, Pearl Butik, Jasmine Honey Designs, Debra Mack Jewelry and Sew in Love. There will also be a silent auction and live auction by emcee Dean Wong. Pacific Island Dinner is served by Chef Eric Faivre and the Grand Wailea Culinary Team.

Reserve your tickets by calling Priscilla Veilleux at 244-7467. Tickets range from $160 to $175 for the whole gala or $25 for the late night dancing at Fantasia Musicana Dance Club (Tsunami), which starts at 10pm.

For more information about Imua’s 65th Anniversary Gala Fundraiser Fantasia Ball, visit imuafamilyservices.org and click on Fantasia Ball, or contact Dean Wong at 2447467 or dwong@imuafamilyservices.org.

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD

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An annual spring fertility festival in Vietnam’s Phu Tho province is capped by a symbolic Xrated ceremony rendered G-rated by wooden stand-ins. At midnight on the 12th day of the lunar new year, a man holding a wooden phalluslike object stands in total darkness alongside a woman holding a wooden plank with a hole in it, and the act is attempted. As the tradition goes, if the man is successful at penetration, then there will be good crops. Following the ceremony, villagers are ordered to “go and be free,” which, according to a February report by Thanh Nien News Service, means uninhibited friskiness during the lights-out period. [Thanh Nien News (Ho Chi Minh City), 2-9-2012]

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

In the remote state of Meghalaya, India, a matrilineal system endows the women with wealth and property rights and relegates the men to slowmoving campaigns for equality. A men’s rights advocate, interviewed by BBC News in January, lamented even the language’s favoring of women, noting that “useful” nouns seem all to be female.

The system, he said, breeds generations of men “who feel useless,” falling into alcoholism and drug abuse. In maternity wards, he said, the sound of cheering greets baby girls, and if it’s a boy, the prevailing sentiment is “Whatever God gives us is quite all right.” The husband of one woman interviewed said, meekly, that he “likes” the current system–or at least that’s what his wife’s translation said he said. [BBC News, 1-19-2012]

SEINFELD SHOWS US THE WAY

Each year, the town of Chumbivilcas, Peru, celebrates the new year with what to Americans might seem “Festivus”-inspired (from Seinfeld), but is actually drawn from Incan tradition. For “Takanakuy,” with a background of singing and dancing, all townspeople with grudges from the previous 12 months (men, women, children) settle them with sometimes-bloody fistfights so that they start the new year clean. Said one villager to a Reuters reporter, “Everything is solved here, and after[ward] we are all friends.”

[Reuters via CBS News, 12-14-2011]

Lake, Mich. (filmed in February by Detroit’s WJBK-TV), the speed limit drops to 25 mph on “school days only,” but just from “6:49-7:15 a.m., 7:52-8:22 a.m., 8:37-9:07 a.m., 2:032:33 p.m., 3:04-3:34 p.m. (and) 3:59-4:29 p.m.” [WJBK-TV, 2-15-2012]

OUCH!

Jack Taylor, 18, of Worcester, England, was given a lenient sentence in January for an August burglary he admitted. He and another youth had tried to steal a resident’s motorcycle but damaged it in the process. Since he was remorseful, made restitution, observed a curfew and did community service, he was released by the judge when he secured full-time employment. However, the employment, the court later learned, was as a slaughterman in Norway, where he was to take part in the culling of Alaskan baby seals. [Worcester News, 1-17-2012]

John Morgan, 34, was charged in February in Port St. Lucie, Fla., with embezzling over $40,000 from a trust fund that had been established for his daughter, who has special needs because of cerebral palsy. Because of the theft, she is unable to have dental work necessitated because a care provider failed to lock her wheelchair, sending her sprawling face-first. And police officer Skeeter Manos, 34, was charged in February in Seattle with embezzling over $120,000 from a fund for the families of four colleagues who had been shot to death in the line of duty. Manos’ alleged expenditures included several trips to Las Vegas. [WPTV (West Palm Beach, Fla.), 2-62012] [Associated Press via WHBF-TV (Rock Island, Ill.), 2-8-2012]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I’M NOT MENTALLY STABLE?

Ms. Fausat Ogunbayo, 46, filed a federal lawsuit against New York City’s Administration for Children’s Services because it had taken away her kids (aged 13 and 10 at the time) in 2008 for questions about Ogunbayo’s mental stability.

The lawsuit, for “recklessly disregard[ing]” her “right to family integrity,” asks the city to pay her $900 trillion. [Staten Island Advance, 2-7-2012]

LaDondrell Montgomery, 36, had been sentenced in November in Houston to life in prison for armed robbery despite his vigorous protestations of innocence, and about a week later, in December, he was exonerated in fact.

Although he had testified at his trial, he had not mentioned that he had an ironclad alibi–that he had been in jail during the time the robbery was committed. Once jail records were reviewed, Montgomery was freed. The prosecutor hadn’t checked the records before trial, and neither had Montgomery’s attorney, but then neither had Montgomery ever mentioned it (because, he had told his lawyers, he had been in and out of jail so many times in his life that he just could not remember if he had been locked up at the time of the armed robbery). [Houston Chronicle, 129-2011] ■ chuck@mauitime.com

According to a municipal street sign in front of Lakewood Elementary School in White

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

Prophet Warren Jeffs, of a breakaway Mormon cult, is serving life (plus 20 years) in a Texas prison for raping two underage parishioners, but insists that his power has not been diminished. He was disciplined in December for making a phone call to his congregation announcing several decrees, including barring marriages from taking place until he can return to “seal” them and prohibiting everyone from having sex. Since Jeffs retains his “messiah” status among many church members, and since life-plus-20 is a long time to wait, and since the cult is reclusive, it is difficult for outsiders to assess the level of sexual frustration in the compound. [Daily Mail (London), 12-31-2011; Deseret News (Salt Lake City), 12-30-2011]

QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENTS

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his goes out to those six drunken jerks who were partying like college kids on a South Maui beach late one night. Not only did you make complete asses of yourselves, but you trashed the beach with your broken bottles and dumped charcoal. It’s too bad that some kid will come by and injure himself thanks to your stupidity. And considering all the hype we’ve been hearing lately over park enforcement, it was odd that none was to be found when you guys were partying... ■

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Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

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MARCH 22, 2012

9

IN/FAMOUS CONSPIRACY THEORIST

DAVID ICKE:

TRUTH SEEKER OR TOTAL PSYCHO?

“It would be nice, while I’m in Hawaii, if I could find Obama’s birth certificate.

I shall be looking, as best I can, but I’m not confident.”

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-David Icke on The Alex Jones Show, Mar. 6, 2012 (infowars.com)

nglish author and public speaker David “The Dot Connector” Icke earnestly proclaims that all the world’s woes are the result of an ancient reptilian race from outer space that’s genetically manipulated humans and is dominating Earth. All from a hollow moon, no less. Seriously.

And he’s keen on naming names. The Queens of England are lizards. The Rothschild ‘ohana are lizards. Barack Obama’s a lizard. Al Gore’s a lizard. Mauian Kris Kristofferson’s a lizard. George Bush Jr. and Sr. are lizards (though I think even “paedophilic reptile” is too kind for the likes of Dubya). Big Brother, coverups, UFOs, Anunnaki aliens, the Illumninati, Freemasonry, Satanism– it’s all in Icke’s books, videos and lectures, hailed by the writer

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MARCH 22, 2012

Richard Kahn as a “Rosetta stone for conspiracy junkies.”

Seeing as that’s just the sort of stuff that many Mauians love to like, Icke will be on the isle next Saturday for an all-day lecture event at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center’s Castle Theater (Mar. 31, 10am-10pm; $39/$69/$99), promoting his latest book, Remember Who You Are. It’s the 18th treatise he’s published in 22 years. “The key is in the title,” Icke writes. “To breach the perceptual walls of the Saturn-Moon Matrix and bring an end to mass human enslavement, we need to awaken to our true identity.”

(I know that sounds like a typical Valley Isle viewpoint, but outside our mercurial little rock, that’s controversial shit.)

Shape-shifting reptiles and all, Icke’s supporters–and there’s lots of them on Maui–say he’s a fearless truth-seeker. Mean-

while his opponents accuse him of being a madman–or worse, an anti-Semite. In a recent interview, Icke told me that “racism is so ludicrous and is the ultimate confirmation of ignorance.” And when I asked–to be absolutely clear–if the lizards and the lot are meant to be taking literally (not as a metaphor for Jews), Icke said, “Absolutely it’s meant to be taken literally.”

But his critics argue that much of Icke’s work cites The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a contemptible anti-semitic hoax first published in 1903, and of which Adolf Hitler was a proponent.

“Icke vehemently repudiates the accusations,” writes gonzo documentarian Louis Theroux, for The Guardian, in an review of Jon Ronson’s 2001 book Them: Adventures with Extremists (a chapter of which “examines the strange history of David Icke”).

And that’s true in every example of retort against racism by Icke. “[R]eading Ronson’s account it is difficult not to conclude that, while we are right to be on our guard against paranoid antisemitism, we should also be on our guard against the paranoid excesses of anti-anti-semitism,” writes Theroux. “Not only might it be unfair to Icke, but by implying that he is so dangerous that he has to be censored, the watchdogs are giving a patina of seriousness to ideas that are–let’s face it–very, very silly.”

Ronson, in a related piece for The Guardian (“Beset by Lizards”) wrote, “’You know, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind, but now I’m pretty certain that David Icke really does mean lizards when he says lizards.’”

Silly though they may be, Icke’s ideas have garnered a burgeoning global fan base. Last year alone, this former footballer and BBC presenter-turned-professional conspiracy theorist logged (as he told me) “about 45,000 [air] miles... across Australia, New Zealand, America and back to Europe again,” giving six-to eight-hour presentations–much like the ones slated here in Hawaii. Such a schedule is par for the course for this self-described “most controversial speaker in the world,” whose “journey, consciously anyway,” started more than two decades ago with a “synchronistic” series of “beyond-paranormal” events which he says were “fundamental to how the information’s come to me over the years” and why he’s developed his eccentric ideas (more on that later).

But in 2012, Icke–rather unusually–has booked just two American appearances (the other’s at Oahu’s Blaisdell Arena on Sat., Mar. 24); with the only other international date scheduled in October, at London’s massive Wembley Arena. Why so few events–and why Hawaii, of all places? “I do everything by intuition,” Icke says.

Whatever your opinions on Icke, if nothing else, his theory– and moreover, the man himself–is undeniably fascinating. So what does all this say about our penchant for belief and how far we’re willing to take it? Further, how does it–for better or worse–affect our lives in the real world?

So ahead of his Maui lecture, I had a two-hour talk story session with Icke (joined by my good friends–and fans of Icke– Shawn Michael and Clive Tucker; local celeb musicians both), to hear his ideas first-hand and share his quotes, plus my maundering musings about it all. (You can listen to the entire interview at mauitime.com.) Speaking of the latter especially...

SMOKE AND MIRRORS: BELIEVE, BROV!

Hello, Paranoia. You creepy bastard. No surprise seeing you here on this blighted night. I guess you saw my smoke signal invitation? My exhalations against a Hawaiian breeze sieved through squalid windowpanes, from an ancient valley?

But listen, Paranoia. Me n’ Skepticism have had a longtime love affair. I’m cuckoo over Carl Sagan and Christopher Hitchens is my hero. You get the idea. But just this once, I suppose you might as well c’mon in, Paranoia–seeing as I’ve got what you like. Fury, fatigue and the worldwide web on a big screen.

A lead finger soldered to an electric mouse and plenty of liquor and candy. And best of all, a barrage of Maui Wowie bong rips augmenting an illegal download double feature: Attack the Block and The Rum Diary, both of which are freaking me the fuck out right now (thanks to you, I presume).

Like the fur of the “big, alien gorilla-wolf monsters” in the former British sci-fi flick, it’s “blacker than black” tonight–and later than a promiscuous high school girl. I’ve slept, what? Four hours in the last four days? But winks won’t come my way, though just today I’ve been “up before God” (as one also-early rising friend put it), working since 4am. Oh, island logistics.

See, London is 10 hours ahead of Hawaii, so with the crack of dawn came a phone interview with in/famous conspiracy

and religion should no longer divide us. These are ideas I’m on theorist David Icke. Yeah, I know you know him well. seemed crazy at the time... but all that’s been said has hapboard with (of course), but have a hard time reconciling when I thought I had it all figured out–’til you showed up, Paranoia. pened or is happening.” it concurrently involves dehumanizing our fellow man as “hybrid I thought I knew what and how I was gonna write about Icke’s Uh, so is that happening to me now? I’ve been talking with bloodlines” subject to an evil, alien puppeteer. irrational ideas about some Anunnaki reptilian race controlling a few friends who’ve voraciously consumed Icke’s work for Presented with this, Icke responded candidly. “Basically, if humanity for aeons from a spaceship disguised as the Moon; years on end. They’re smart, talented men I admire. A few of about his climate change denial (although he’s a former Green them have some interesting ideas about how Icke’s ideas relate it doesn’t make sense to you, then leave it. That’s the whole Party spokesman); about the accusations against him of anti- to Hawaiian history... Our creation myths and lizard lore; how thing about what I’m saying... The information that I’m putting semitism; about cloak-and-dagger, blood-chugging Illuminati King Kalakaua (the last king of Hawaii before his succeeding out there, I’m not asking anyone to believe it,” Icke said. “BeSatanist shit and so on. I thought... sister was overthrown by American businessmen), was a 32nd cause the last thing this world needs is someone else standing up and saying, ‘I’ve got all the answers and if you don’t believe Everything suddenly feels all serendipitous and shit. I hate degree Freemason–as were The Big Five... The list goes on those feelings of what lots (Icke included) like to call “synand I find my mind runs easily with it. Never mind not a week me, you’re wrong.’ I’m putting out information which is suggestchronicity,” ‘cause I love chaos’s comeliness. I think no one’s in control but us, like it or not.

But the British keiki on the telly are battling big, bad aliens, begging, “Believe, brov!” Then there’s Hunter S. Thompson’s Paul Kemp character, a journo clickety clacking in Puerto Rico, ing another explanation for what’s going on in the world. People witnessing the same shit we Hawaiians have been dished goes without someone saying, “Your name’s really Anu Yagi? should take what feels right, leave what doesn’t–leave it all if since our 19th century American annexation: fuck Brown Peo...Hey, have you heard of the Anunnaki?” Maybe all this has none of it feels right–and take their own power to decide what ple, this land’s now my land. Let’s build some hotels and roll been leading me to this moment of reckoning? to accept and what not to accept. This isn’t a belief system for around in the spoils! The “Great White” just said something A fat female mo’o wriggles into my sightline. Geckos are about Satanists... lucky, goes the local lore. The lighted windows are always sale, this is just information... It’s none of my business how peoShit. Shivers up my spine. Is all this trying to tell me something? crawling with them, but her translucent body’s a milk and ple perceive and say and write, it’s their business. It’s their right to decide their own reality. That’s one of the things I’m pushing This morning, Icke shared an anecdote with me about how honey x-ray standing out in the crowd; a pair of eggs glowall the time. Don’t let anyone tell you what to think. Make your in “1989 and 1990, I started having very, very strange experiing in her belly like oblong eyes. What the? Did the eggs just ences... pushing me very clearly in a certain direction.” He was bat their lashes?! Oh, no. That’s just my own eyes reflected in own mind up. Come to your own conclusions rather than take in a news shop with his then-young son Gareth, when sudden- the window against them. I play with the illusion, blinking and it off the peg from someone else... As the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates is supposed ly, he says, “My feet wouldn’t to have said, ‘wisdom is knowing move. They started to burn, how little we know.’ That keeps like there were magnets pullyour mind open.” ing my feet to the ground... I I guess that’s what I like about wouldn’t say it was a voice, Icke–about all conspiracy theobut it was a very strong rists, really. Their thoughts demthought form which went onstrate an eagerness to questhrough my mind and said, tion everything– albeit, I think, ‘Go and look through the an incomplete query. And shit’s books on the far side.’ What? undoubtedly fucked up, and I In a daze, I started to walk sympathize with people who are toward these books–’cause pissed and want answers. Icke’s I knew this news shop well ideas aren’t all that more outlandand I knew the books they ish than say, any religious idea sold and they were romanabout how the world works and tic novels... where perfectly who controls it. formed English roses fall in But where those ideas are lilove with perfectly formed able to become messy might English soldiers and stuff. So be best evidenced in the postI thought, ‘What the heck am World War II cargo cults of the I walking across here for?’ southwest Pacific islands. Take When I got across to these for example the John Frum cult books, they were all these of Vanuatu; a group which worbooks that I just described, ships an American man (against but right in the middle was his will) as their messiah. one called Mind to Mind... It “The locals don’t know where was so different from all the the foreigners’ endless supplies other books and I picked it come from and so suspect they up and I turned it over and were summoned by magic, sent read the blurb and I saw the from the spirit world,” wrote Paul word ‘psychic.’”

Raffaele for Smithsonian. “To Icke went on to explain WHY ARE WE SHOWING YOU THESE TWO IMAGES? Hawaii’s last king, Kalakaua, was a high-ranking Freemason who was entice the Americans back after how after reading the book, homies with Queen Victoria. According to Ickeology, the Queen was a lizard. So too must have been our Merrie Monarch. the war, islanders throughout he contacted its author, BetControversial? Yes. But that’s what Icke (and MauiTime) is all about. the region constructed piers and ty Shine, and received enercarved airstrips from their fields. getic “hands-on healing” for They prayed for ships and planes to once again come out of his rheumatoid arthritis, but said nothing of his strange experisquinting a few more times. What fun. ences. Then just as he began to feel “like a spider’s web on my Still, I can’t help but think of the 35 mo’o-related words in nowhere, bearing all kinds of treasures: Jeeps and washing maface... what I know now [to be] electromagnetic energy... [and] the Pukui-Elbert Hawaiian dictionary, meaning “lizard... dragon, chines, radios and motorcycles, canned meat and candy.” John Frum Day is celebrated to this day, every February 15. that’s how the connection between dimensions is done, by serpent; water spirit” and “legend or tale concerning the gods; If a whole island’s religious bent can shift like that in a single these electromagnetic projections,” he says Shine “launched god-like lizard” and “epithet for a sorcerer who practices black generation, what happens a generation from now–when Icke’s her head back and said, ‘My God, I’ve got to close my eyes magic” and “genealogy of chiefs... chiefly line of succession... long gone and posthumously venerated, criticisms washed for this one.’ And she started saying that she was seeing this Lit. royal lizard.” figure in her mind who was giving messages to tell me,” said I take a few more huge hits, watching smoke wisps trundle (as we’re so fond of doing of our late celebrities)? Will what’s Icke. “Basically it said that I was going to go out on a world like twisted fingers. I stare at the egg-laden gecko for a long thought-provoking today become dogma tomorrow?

But such speculation isn’t grounds for censorship. If anystage an reveal great secrets. There was a story that had to be time with a half-notion she’s going to say something to me. thing, there’s something to be celebrated about ideas that have told. “There was a vibrational change coming that was going to She doesn’t. legs (two or four or however). So whether you think David Icke’s act like a spiritual alarm clock to wake humanity up from from

a truth seeker–or totally psycho–he certainly proves the power its coma, its slumber, its hypnotic state; and it’d bring to the of our imaginations. And what are humans (half-lizard or no), if surface all that had been hidden.” not creative? ■ When I asked, “Why him?” Icke said, “It’s not that I’m some anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi bloody genius. It’s that I’m just listening to my intuition as

anyone else can bloody do so. I’ve got me mind out of the To share or save this article, type: way, got my head out of the way so that it serves my intuIcke isn’t all about blood and guts, gloom and doom. He mt.hy.pr/1540L ition instead of dominates and dictates it. It’s all I’ve done... It talks a lot about peace, love and unity, and about how race

When I asked–to be absolutely clear–if the lizards and the lot are meant to be taken literally (not as a metaphor), Icke said, “Absolutely.”

ICKE, ICKE BABY! STOP, COLLABORATE AND LIZARD...

MARCH 22, 2012

11

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FOOD&DRINK

Everything Is Connected Aina Gourmet fits fresh coffee and food into a 100-mile lifestyle

BY JEN RUSSO

Aina Gourmet Team PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Aina Gourmet Market 130 Kai Malina Pkwy, Lahaina 662-2832 Ainagourmet.com Facebook.com/AinaGourmet @AinaGourmet Open 7am to 9:30pm.

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here’s a sweet spot somewhere between four minutes and 210 degrees with a course grind that makes a perfect French press coffee.

It’s a spot that Greg Suekoff, the new assistant general manager at Aina Gourmet Market has finessed, since he started working in cafe at age 17. It’s also a mark I rarely hit with my coffee maker. But Suekoff is a champion barista who’s entered regional, national and international competitions in DC, Orlando, New York, Charlotte, Atlanta, Los Angeles and Seoul, so he probably knows something I don’t. He earned the title “Ultimate Barista” from the Ultimate Barista Challenge by winning in Latte Art in New York. Since then he’s placed first in all of their competition categories: Latte Art, Espresso Cocktail, Best of Brew and Espresso Frappe.

With coffee’s huge popularity in the last decade and the resulting growth of cafe culture, most coffee drinkers consider themselves connoisseurs of the cup. But most baristas on Maui are preoccupied; it’s rare that I can geek out over a brewed bean with one of them.

That’s why I’m glad that at Aina Gourmet, Suekoff and the new General Manager Solana Tao are changing this experience.

Aina Gourmet’s coffee is grown on the mountain behind it, at the Kaanapali Coffee farm run by James Kimo Falconer.

They grow three distinct beans: mokka, red catura and yellow catura, with no blends at this time.

“That is the bloom,” says Suekoff as he pours the water into the individual French press carafes, one with the red catuai and the other with the yellow catura. He says the best coffee comes from fresh beans ground right before brewing, and it will rise up when you’ve poured hot water ofnthe grounds, which comes from the release of CO2 in the mix. Suekoff knows firsthand about the freshness of Aina’s coffee, having been up the mountain to the farm to roast it himself. Aina Gourmet’s Maui Grown coffee is roasted in small batches by hand in their 10-gallon roaster.

Suekoff describes the acidity in coffee as a spectrum that goes from soft at the low end to bright at the high end. Their heir-

Italian Panini

loom mokka bean falls into the latter. This heirloom bean is tiny, intact with its original genetic features. I’m on my third cup and by now our mutual love of coffee has put us on a first name basis. He goes into a story of coffee folklore and dancing goats in Africa; it’s a dogged and domesticated hoofed creature that discovered the benefits of caffeine and shared it with humans.

Aina Gourmet is a bit off the beaten path, but there’s plenty of self parking and the gorgeous environment of Honua Kai

make it an appealing stop. Their store and deli is gorgeous; it’s the kind of market you see puffed up 90210’s selecting wine and cheese from in LA (minus the pretentiousness and lack of parking). Instead, visitors stroll idly by, looking for souvenir Maui products and picking up coffee and gelato.

I’m impressed with Greg’s genuine switch from geeking out with my coffee to asking some young visitors about their vacation.

It’s nearly impossible to tell he just got here a month or so ago.

After almost three years as the third eatery under the Pacific’o and I’o brands, Aina Gourmet has gotten a true a makeover. Executive chef and owner James McDonald dropped in during lunch and talked about O’o Farms, where they grow produce for the restaurants and how that fits into their 100-mile lifestyle. The philosophy can mean lots of things, but for Aina it means everything is connected. It means following a more sustainable model. It means finding as many quality, locally sourced items as they can for the store.

There are lots of local goods and sustainable items to choose from on their shelves: Molokai tea, biodynamic wine and chocolate.

The breads for their sandwiches and pastries come from local baker Harold Hardcastle at The Bakery. Gluten-free cupcakes are made

by Real Foods Maui. They get their eggs from a farm in Launiupoko. And so on.

“Ten years ago that wasn’t the language people were speaking,” says GM Tao of her 100-mile concept. “Now everyone does. I have revamped the wine program here with sustainable, organic and biodynamic [features]. We offer a selection of alternative medicines, a chocolate wall and lactose and gluten-free foods. People have received these changes very well.”

The lunches show it. Like the Arugula and radish salad with only Parmesan and roasted garlic as its dry dressing, which was superb. Crunchy and bright, these four ingredients were gifted. The Beast, a roast beef sandwich with homemade horseradish cream stacked high with greens and whole grain bread, was a superior take on a meat sandwich. The panini of mozzarella and proscuitto was a beautiful Italian tribute. Tao says they will be changing the menu and revamping some of their items as well as building a new bar seating area outside of their market.

Tao and Suekoff will feature their Aina Gourmet specialties at the upcoming wine club at I’o. You’re invited to join them on Friday, Mar. 23 from 8-10pm on a sampling of their 100-mile lifestyle, with action stations for coffees, wine, martinis and pupus that highlight Aina Gourmet.■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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MARCH 22, 2012

FOOD&DRINK

FOODIE NEWS

BY JEN RUSSO

Release the Hounds

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aui Brewing Co. Releases La Perouse White: Drawing on inspiration from one of the wildest terrains on Maui–the lava flows of La Perouse–brew master Kim Lutz’s La Perouse White will be the second limited release can selection from Maui Brewing Company. The beer is a fresh handcrafted Belgian-inspired witbier brewed with wheat and European Pilsner malts and spiced with coriander and fresh local Mandarin oranges.

It was a silver medal winner at the Great American Beer Festival 2011.

La Perouse, which began as one of Kim’s 10-gallon homebrew batches, has now become a regular favorite at the Kahana brewpub.

“Living in South Maui for many years, I wanted to highlight this beautiful sanctuary and create a refreshing and flavorful witbier using local fruit,” says Lutz. “It’s been unreal to see one of my recipes grow in popularity, win awards, and now become one of our new production cans.”

Owner Garrett Marrero says his company will distribute La Perouse White primarily in Hawaii and the 10 Mainland states that already sell Maui Brew Co. beers. “But it won’t be around long,” he said. “It’s sure to fly off the shelves. There are only 200 barrels for release!”

To order for your retail/restaurant/resort establishment, contact sales@mauibrewingco.com.

aising Money For Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers: Mana‘olana Pink Paddler’s wine and cheese tasting fundraiser will be held this Sunday, Mar. 25, from 2-4pm at Stella Blues in Kihei.

Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers (manaolanapinkpaddlers.org/events) is a non-profit canoe club for cancer survivors and supporters. They raise awareness and funding for cancer treatment.

This wine and cheese tasting fundraiser will

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raise money for low income Maui residents’ cancer diagnoses and treatments.

Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers is small (just 47 members) but they’re trying to do things with a big impact on our community. All you have to do is sign up to drink wine and eat cheese on Sunday. Cost is $30 per person and includes a variety of wines and cheeses.

Make your reservations now because space is limited to 50 guests. Call Mary Dungans at 876-1553 for more information (you can also make your checks payable to Mana‘olana Pink Paddlers).

ō Reopens: Chef Tylun Pang must be ecstatic now that the renovations of Kō at the Fairmont Kealani in Wailea are complete.

They will officially open their dining room on April 1 and it looks spectacular.

K Chef Tylun Pang

Now we can forget all about their earlier tables that had umbrellas hanging overhead because their space is now far more elegant (which is good, considering the upgrade cost

$5 million and took nine months).

From the food to the architecture to new family-style service options, the entire dining experience has been brought to a new level.

Kō, which translates to “sugarcane” in Hawaiian, showcases the diverse culinary history of the sugarcane plantation era, serving Hawaiian, Chinese, Filipino, Portuguese, Korean and Japanese menu items. The concept was to create a menagerie of dishes that stayed true to each culture rather than mixed in a “fusion” style.

ulehu Holds WinePairing With Patrick Okubo: I’m just no longer satisfied when merely drinking wine.

Each drop must eke out a learning experience for my palate. I guess the guys at Pulehu in the Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas are feelin’ me because on Wednesday, Mar. 28, they’re holding a four-course dinner and champagne reception with Patrick Okubo, the world’s youngest Master Sommelier. What could be better than learning from him?

Okubo has chosen the wine that’s paired with prawns, veal sweetbreads, duck and steak courses. He’ll also say a word or two about his picks. Think of it as an evening of enlightenment, where wine is concerned.

Okubo is Hawaii’s third certified master Sommelier as well as the Pacific/Hawaii region winner of the Chaine des Rotisseurs Young Sommelier Competition consecutively from 2008 through 2010. He’s now the Enchanson Provencal. He also holds a Certified Wine Educator (CWE) and Certified Specialist of Spirits (CSS) from the Society of Wine Educators.

The Sommelier Champagne Reception starts at 5:30pm, and the Wine Education and dinner begins at 6pm. The cost is $85 per person and reservations are required. Please call 667-3254 or visit westinkaanapali.com. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

P

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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MARCH 22, 2012

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MARCH 22, 2012

PICKS

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, MARCH 22 DHARMA TALK: BUDDHA STANDARD TIME WITH LAMA SURYA DAS – According to legend, the tricky demigod Maui made the days longer by hiking up Haleakala, lassoing the sun’s rays and ripping them right the fuck off. Ah, if only it were that simple... If you feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day–but slack in your sun-roping skills–Lama Surya Das argues that we in fact already have all the time in the world. This American Lama lectures on Thursday at the luxury retreat Lumeria Maui, sharing his new book, Buddha Standard Time: Awakening to the Infinite Possibilities of Now, which “draws on Tibetan Buddhism and other great wisdom traditions, as well as on neuroscience and holistic traditions... that will enable us to stop the pace and pressure of today’s world that feels relentless.” The trick however requires you to “learn to live in the fourth dimension”–but even that sounds slightly simpler than wielding a celestial lariat. $25 advance / $30 day of. 7-9pm. Lumeria Maui (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); lumeriamaui.com / follow on Twitter @LamaSuryaDas

MEET THE AUTHOR OF EDWARD BAILEY OF MAUI – Thu. & Fri., Mar. 22-23. One of the coolest things about the Bailey House Museum (I think) are Edward Bailey’s paintings (and even antique supplies) and his native land snail collection. These museum pieces speak to the very personal sensibilities of a man who’s left a lasting legacy on the isle. This Thursday and Friday–at the Wailuku and Kihei public libraries respectively–meet Maui author Linda McCullough Decker, who will share some of Bailey’s painting while discussing her new book, Edward Bailey of Maui: Teacher & Naturalist, Engineer & Artist. Decker, whose book has been nominated for a 2012 Hawaii Book Publishers Association’s Ka Palapala Po‘okela Award (in the “Excellence in Nonficton Books” category) will also talk about the processes of researching and writing a book, plus the “issues and new insights that a biography of an important local figure can bring into focus.” Free. 6:30pm (both days). Thu @ Wailuku Public Library (251 S. High St.); 243-5766 / Fri. @ Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St.); 875-6833; librarieshawaii.org

FRIDAY, MARCH 23 PAIA FOURTH FRIDAY’S GOT A SPRING IN ITS STEP – “Spring! In like a lion and–we’re hoping–out like a lamb,” says town party coordinator Rose Potter. “The whole town is celebrating the arrival of a new season.” Highlights of this month’s North Shore street fest include a performance by Simmer Street at Paia Bay Cafe; Uma of Uma’s Spices sharing her homegrown hot sauce at Mana Foods’ tiki bar; a reception with print maker and ceramicist Michi Itami, at the Maui Crafts Guild; LiA LiVE and The Kryptones at Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon; and a preview of the “A Dialogue with Fiber” collection by Chenta Laury at Tamara Catz boutique. See our Da Kine Calendar for more.

Free. 6-9pm. Paia Town. mauifridays.com

ECLECTIC FOLK ROCKER MARC BLACK SAYS “NO FRACKING WAY!” – Woodstock, New York’s Marc Black “sings about Rachel Maddow, good coffee, and just about everything in-between” (though I wouldn’t want to get between Rachel Maddow and her coffee–or bitters), and will be on-isle this Friday for his first-ever Maui show. You can sample his cool tunes online at marcblack.com, and his read-worthy online bio’s way cool, too. It says that “his high school band, The Blades of Grass, had a minor hit and go to tour with The Doors, Van Morrison, The Dave Clark Five and lots of other big names of the day,” plus, “after attending Colgate with a focus on philosophy and religion, he got a deal with RCA... [and] recorded with folks like Jack Dejonette, Eric Anderson, Rick Danko, Art Garfunkel and John Sebastian to name a few.” His new tunes, like “No Fracking Way” (which has become an anthem for the no-fracking movement), have become “quite influenced by political and social forces over the past couple years,” taking him as far away as Australia and Ireland to play at rallies and events. Presented by Sussman Communications in cooperation with Li’ Dat Productions. $20. 7pm door / 7:30pm show. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); marcblack.com

SATURDAY, MARCH 24 HO‘OMAUI 2012: A BENEFIT CONCERT FOR THE HAWAIIAN LANGUAGE PROGRAMS OF PUNANA LEO O MAUI – Load up on ono grinds, stretch out on the Maui Nui Botanical Gardens’ hillside, and relax to the sweet Hawaiian stylings of local legends Cyril Pahinui, Weldon Kekauoha, Halau Ka Hanu Lehua, Uncle Richard Ho‘opi‘i, Rush House, Malino, Rebel Souljahz, and Ho‘aikane. Plus, enjoy Hawaiian makahiki games, demonstrations by cultural practitioners and the keiki fun zone. Best of all, it all benefits the Hawaiian language programs of Punana Leo O Maui, a progressive school teaching Hawaiian language to keiki–and their families–so that “the Hawaiian language shall live.” $10 advance / $15 door. 9am-sunset. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); ahapunanaleo.org

SAM’S UPCOUNTRY JAM AND ‘UKULELE EXPLOSION! – Many of my middle school afternoons were spent under the big tree in the Kalama quad, picking “In the Mood” and The Beatles’ “Yesterday” on a borrowed Kamaka ‘ukulele. (That’s right–I was in Poly II, bitches!)

But today, I don’t think I could so much as play “Pearly Shells” to save my life. If you’re an ‘ukulele enthusiast–perhaps of Kalama’s proud Poly tradition past or present–check out Sam’s Upcountry Jam and ‘Ukulele Explosion, on the grounds of Samuel Enoka Kalama Intermediate School. More than 300 ‘ukulele players are expected to convene for a giant group jam (1-2:20pm) at this educational fair, music festival, arts and crafts fair, and farmers’ market.

And if you’ve never plucked-up a uke (or are as rusty as I am), no worries. The event features free ‘ukulele lessons by none other than Benny Uyetake and The Kalama ‘Ukulele Kids, plus a jazz clinic with Mel Martin with Jay Molina and Mike Kennedy, and much more (see our Da Kine Calendar). Free. 10am-5pm. S.E. Kalama Intermediate School (120 Makani Rd. Makawao); ukuleleexplosion.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 25 AFRICAN PRIESTESS AND PERFORMANCE ARTIST LUISAH TEISH – Fri., Sat. & Sun., Mar. 23-25. Priestess and performance artist Luisah Teish presents “the stories and myths that have mis-educated us into alienation from Earth... explor[ing] the ways that myths shape our beliefs, attitudes, and relationships to the natural world.” Beginning on Friday at the Hana retreat Ala Kukui, Teish presents a storytelling performance called “The Mirror in the Water: Water Spirits, Mermaids and Madness,” followed by an all-day workshop at the retreat, “Our Genuine Heart and Calling Forth a New Perspective.” Then on Sunday, Teish heads to Haiku for a talk titled “Befriending Ourselves, Befriending Mother Earth,” at the Temple of Peace. Call for more information. 7pm. Fri. @ Ala Kukui (Hana) / 10am-4pm. Sat. @ Ala Kukui (Hana) / 7pm. Sun. @ The Temple of Peace (575 Haiku Rd.); 248-7841; alakukui.org

REGGAE ROYALTY ZIGGY MARLEY – The son of Bob returns to Maui for a big gig with Inner Circle and Maui’s own “reggae ambassador,” Marty Dread. Back in August ‘09, just before Ziggy last performed on-isle, I rang him at his Tuff Gong headquarters for a quick talk story–and of everything, liked the pleasantries best. See, when I simply asked what he looked forward to doing during his downtime on the Valley Isle, he said, in his soulful Jamaican lilt, “Well, I would call it up time.” Clever! Later, in person, I learned that this true blue reggae royalty’s powerful presence is palpable. Everyone backstage at the concert was star struck and speechless–‘cept Mauian Woody Harrelson, who exchanged a jovial hug with Ziggy just before was whisked away in a limo. Ah, clever and fancy! General: $35 advance / $45 day-of. VIP: $65 advance / $75 day-of. 4pm gates / 5pm show. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MONDAY, MARCH 26 TREES, PLEASE – “Trees Please at Baldwin Beach,” a project of Maui Tomorrow Foundation in partnership with the Maui Film Festival, Maui County’s Department of Parks and Recreation and Community Work Day, celebrates Prince Kuhio Day with a call for volunteers to join in a clearing of green waste and branches from a designated area at Baldwin Beach. This is the first phase of the Trees Please project, an effort to replant native trees lost to coastal erosion at the beach park. Hand tools (provided, along with water and snacks) will be used to remove hale koa saplings from the area while leaving milo saplings in place to grow future shade. After all, as Alexander Smith said, “A man doesn’t plant a tree for himself. He plants it for posterity.” Free. 9am-12pm. Baldwin Beach Park (Alawai Rd., Paia); 244-7570; maui-tomorrow.org

TUESDAY, MARCH 27

GROWN ON MAUI CHEF DEMO SERIES FEATURING CHEF JOEY MACADANGDANG – The isle’s top chefs have partnered with Maui County Farm Bureau and Whole Foods Market for a six-party Grown on Maui Chef Demo Series, held on the last Monday of every month. This month’s onehour cooking demonstration (and tasting!) highlights the talents of Joey Macadangdang, the executive chef who’s helmed the recent opening of Roy’s Restaurant at the newly remodeled Ka‘anapali Beach Golf Course.

Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Whole Foods Market (Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 2432290; mauicountyfarmbureau.org

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28 LIVE BALLOON ANIMALS! – Get twisted every Thursday night at Sharky’s with their “live balloon animal show.” While it’d be really wild if they breathed actual life into the balloon animals, what they mean is that there’s a live person (as opposed to a zombie or android) making bad-ass balloon sculptures while you drink, dine and game at this family restaurant and fun center. No cover. R.S. Sharky’s (41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei); 874-5115; sharkyshawaii.com

JOEL KATZ & WILLIE K – Blow of some pau hana steam at Mulligan’s on the Blue by having a brew and mellowing out to the smooth, steel guitar stylings of Joel Katz. Then, stick around for the Willie K dinner show–a must-see for locals and visitors alike. Uncle Willie’s got a perfect formula for melding operatic pipes with rock and blues tunes, and his shows are always a lively delight. Joel Katz: No cover. 5:30-6:30pm. / Willie K Dinner Show: $65. 7-9pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com

MARCH 22, 2012

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MARCH 22, 2012

PICKS

REQUESTS

BY KEO EATON

2 1

3

4 5 6 7

8

9 10 11

7

out of

11

HUNDRED WATERS

Hundred Waters (Elestia Sound; 2012)

ATTENTION ALL YOGIS AND MEDITATIVE MINDS: do yourself a favor and pre-order

Hundred Waters’ eponymous debut (slated for release Apr. 17). If by the end of your first listen you haven’t been moved to do a Sun Salutation or stunned into serene silence, then your true hippie dippiness (we mean that nicely) should be called into question.

See, the celestial sounds of Hundred Waters’ folk-meets-electro mix is enthralling, captivating and–dare I say–spiritually transcendent. The album’s perfect for any sort of reality-escaping exercise and/or experi-

ence. The band, originally from Gainesville, Florida, possesses and interesting Euro flavor which can best be summed up as Pure Moods with a retro Nintendo twist.

Talk about winning! Hundred Waters is sort of music you’d expect to find on the playlist of your most psilocybin-loving college roommate. There’s just something about their electronic beats laced with ethereal vocals that will have you feeling like you’re riding a pastel unicorn over rainbows and glitter covered clouds–without getting fried by, um, the sun. So if you’re in need of a good stretch or hoping to trigger a little peace of mind, this album’s a dose of magic...

All albums reviewed in this space are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, (808) 244-9315)

MARCH 22, 2012

19

FILM

Lame Show

Just like the book, but not as wordy.

The Hunger Games is long on minutes, short on fun The Hunger Games ★★★★★

BY BARRY WURST II

Rated PG13/142 Min.

I

n the hugely anticipated adaptation of Suzanne Collin’s novel, Jennifer Lawrence stars as Katniss Everdeen, a young woman living in a futuristic world where teens are entered into a kill-or-be-killed contest for the entertainment of their controlling government. Katniss steps up and takes the place of her terrified younger sister, who is randomly selected to enter the barbaric, televised event. With the guidance of a former survivor of the program (Woody Harrelson), Katniss trains to become a lethal predator, learning that survival comes as much from audience approval as it does being a killing machine.

Some have compared this would-be franchise to Twilight and, while this not-bad event film is thankfully superior, it actually does share a few common traits. Like Catherine Hardwicke’s helming of the first Team Edward film, Gary Ross, the talented director

of Pleasantville and Seabiscuit, is also completely wrong for this material. Co-star Liam Hemsworth is as locker pin-up ready as Taylor Lautner and as utterly empty as a love interest; thankfully, he’s barely in the movie.

This is a mostly flat, unmoving affair that, despite the 142-minute running time, has a world and set of supporting characters that lack clear definition. Fans of the book, of which I am not, will know the details going in but the uninitiated will be left wondering how this high tech world works and about the identities of most of the adult characters.

All of the adult actors give overstated performances and wear what looks like Elton John’s concert wardrobe–even with Toby Jones, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley, Lenny Kravitz, Donald Sutherland and an especially awkward Elizabeth Banks in the cast, only Harrelson makes a solid impression.

The plot is a steal from the superior, even more outrageous Battle Royale, the stillcontroversial 2000 Japanese film with a near-identical plot. There are also story elements on loan from George Orwell’s 1984, Escape from New York, Lord of the Flies and

Death Race 2000. Whereas Battle Royale is a shocking satire on how terribly competitive and stressful the Japanese education system is, the point of this movie is anyone’s guess.

The scenes of young teens brutally murdering one another are disturbing enough that the PG-13 rating seems too soft. Ross has many scenes, particularly the violent ones, filmed with a shaky camera meant to obscure the carnage but it makes the rest of the action incomprehensible as well. A big problem that keeps the characters from seeming like real teenagers is that you never get a sense of any fear they might be feeling and their change from exploited victims to blood thirsty killers never comes across.

Lawrence’s captivating performance, and that of her co-star Josh Hutcherson, playing her competitor and ally, keep this from being a total miss. There are some strong scenes, such as the slow, edge of your seat build up

to the initial burst of game show violence. The screenplay ironically mirrors the motivations of the show’s programmers, who try to warm up their audience by emphasizing the love story.

The attraction of the main characters comes across, but the especially fake-looking CGI and depressing spectacle of watching teenagers murder each other for sport overwhelms any touchy-feely audience manipulation.

Lawrence’s performance and a few nearradical touches draw you in but the most this has to offer an audience is pre-release hype.

Once that dies down, you’re left with a movie only for fans of the book. I brought two Team Katniss fans with me and they explained the many characters and details the film leaves vague. This was helpful but they didn’t, however, make me like the movie. ■

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MARCH 22, 2012

FILM

Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER

900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) 21 Jump Street - R - THU (4:15), 7, 9:30. FRI (1:15, 4:15), 7, 9:30.

Act of Valor - R - THU (4:20), 7:05, 9:30.

John Carter (2D) - PG 13 -THU (4), 7, 9:50.

Wanderlust - R - THU (4:15), 6:55, 9:20.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) 21 Jump Street- R -THU (1:45, 2:20, 4:25, 4:55), 7, 7:30, 9:35, 10. FRI (10:45, 11:35, 1:30, 2:20, 4:25, 5:05), 7, 7:30, 9:35, 9:55. SAT-SUN (10:45, 11:35, 1:30, 2:20), 4:25, 5:05, 7, 7:30, 9:35, 9:55. MON (10:45, 11:35, 1:30, 2:20), 4:25, 5:05, 7, 7:30, 9:35, 9:55. TUE-WED (1:30, 2:20, 4:25, 5:05), 7, 7:30, 9:35, 9:55.

A Thousand Words- PG 13 -THU (2:45, 4:50), 7:05, 9:20. FRI (12:35, 2:45, 4:50), 7:05. SATSUN (12:35, 2:45), 4:50, 7:05. MON (12:35, 2:45), 4:50, 7:05, 9:20. TUE-WED (2:45, 4:50), 7:05, 9:20.

The Artist- PG 13 -THU 6:40, 9.

Big Miracle- PG -THU (1:50, 4:15).

Chronicle- PG 13 -THU (2:50, 5), 7:20, 9:45.

FRI (11:55, 4:30), 9:15. SAT-SUN (11:55), 4:30, 9:15. MON (11:55), 4:30, 9:15. TUE-WED (4:30), 9:15.

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2D)- PG -THU (1:55, 4:05), 6:15, 8:25. FRI (11:50, 1:55, 4:05), 6:10, 8:25.

SAT-SUN (11:50, 1:55), 4:05, 6:10, 8:25. MON (11:50, 1:55), 4:05, 6:10, 8:25. TUE-WED (1:55, 4:05), 6:10, 8:25.

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (3D)- PG -THU (2:25, 4:35), 6:45, 8:55. FRI (12:20, 2:25, 4:35), 6:40, 8:55.

SAT-SUN (12:20, 2:25), 4:35, 6:40, 8:55. MON (12:20, 2:25), 4:35, 6:40, 8:55. TUE-WED (2:25, 4:35), 6:40, 8:55.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2D)- PG 13 -THU (2:35), 7:10, 9:25. FRI (12:10, 5:15), 7:25,

NEW THIS WEEK

THE HUNGER GAMES - Action/Sci-Fi - PG 13 See this week’s Film Critique. 142 min.

NOW SHOWING

21 JUMP STREET - Action/Comedy - R - Barry Wurst II writes, “The film is sometimes raunchy in search of easy, cheap laughs, but the best scenes have a crazy, anything-goes edge.” Starring Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Rob Riggle and Ice Cube.

109 min.

ACT OF VALOR - R - Action - A modern war film starring actors plus actual active duty US Navy SEALs and Special Warfare Combatant Crewmen.

101 min.

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY ANU YAGI

9:40. SAT-SUN (12:10), 5:15, 7:25, 9:40.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (3D)- PG 13 -THU (2:35), 7:10, 9:25. FRI (12:10, 5:15), 7:25, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:10, 2:15), 5:15, 7:25, 9:40.

MON (12:10, 2:15), 5:15, 7:25, 9:40. TUE-WED (2:15, 5:15), 7:25, 9:40.

Gone- PG 13 -THU 9:30.

Hugo (3D)- PG -THU (1:30, 4:10), 6:55.

Hunger Games- PG 13 -FRI (10:30 ,11:45, 12:15, 12:45, 1:45, 2, 2:15, 3, 3:30, 4, 5), 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:20, 9:30, 10, 10:30. SATSUN (10:30, 11:45, 12:15, 12:45, 1:45, 2, 2:15, 3), 3:30, 4, 5, 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:20, 9:30, 10, 10:30. MON (10:30, 11:45, 12:15, 12:45, 1:45, 3), 3:30, 4, 5, 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:30, 10. TUE-WED (1:45, 3, 3:30, 4, 5), 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 8:15, 9:30, 10.

Silent House- R -THU (2:55, 5:10), 7:25, 9:40.

Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds- PG 13 -THU (2:10, 4:40), 7:15, 9:55. FRI (11:40, 4:55), 7:20, 9:50. SAT-SUN (11:40), 4:55, 7:20 ,9:50. MON (11:40, 2), 4:55, 7:20, 9:50. TUE-WED (2, 4:55), 7:20, 9:50.

Wanderlust- R -THU (2:15, 4:30), 6:50, 9:15.

FRI (2:05), 6:50. SAT-SUN (2:05), 6:50. MON (2:05), 6:50. TUE-WED (2:05), 6:50.

10:30, 5:15. FRI-SAT 10:30, 5:15, 9:45. SUNWED 10:30, 5:15.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (3D)- PG -THU 12:45, 3, 7:30. FRI-WED 12:45, 3, 7:30.

Project X- R -THU 11, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:35.

FRI-SAT 5, 7:15, 9:20. SUN-WED 5, 7:15.

The Secret World of Arietty- G -THU 10:25, 12:35.

FRI-WED 10:25, 12:35, 2:45.

This Means War- PG 13 -THU 2:45, 5:10, 7:30.

FRI-SAT 10:30, 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45.

SUN-WED 10:30, 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30.

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Act of Valor- R -THU 11, 1:45, 4:20, 7. FRI-SAT 11, 1:45, 4:20, 7, 9:30. SUN-WED 11, 1:45, 4:20, 7.

John Carter (2D)- PG 13 -THU 11:30, 2:20, 5:10, 7:50. FRI-SAT 11:45, 3, 6:15, 9:15. SUN-WED 11:45, 3, 6:15.

John Carter (3D)- PG 13 -THU 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7. FRI-SAT 12:30, 3:45, 7, 10. SUN-WED 12:30, 3:45, 7.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2D)- PG -THU

658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2D)- PG -THU (1, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:15, 4), 7, 9:30. SAT-MON (1:15), 4, 7, 9:30. TUE-WED (1:15, 4), 7, 9:30.

Hunger Games- PG 13 -FRI (12:15, 3:30), 6:45, 10. SAT-MON (12:15), 3:30, 6:45, 10. TUEWED (12:15, 3:30), 6:45, 10.

Project X- R -THU (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:35. FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:35. SAT-MON (1:30), 4:15, 7:15, 9:35. TUE-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:35.

Silent House- R -THU (1:15, 4), 7, 9:30.

KA’AHUMANU 6

GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE - PG 13 - Action/Fantasy - Excuse me, Mr. Cage? Um, your skull’s on fire... 98 min.

PROJECT X - R - Fantasy - This is The Blair Witch Project of pubescent delusion. Watch and wish and live vicariously, if you must. 88 min.

GONE - PG 13 - Thriller - Does it matter what this movie’s actually about? No, not really. Face it: if you see this flick it’s only because you wanna oggle Amanda Seyfried. But hey, man–we don’t blame you. 94 min.

THE SECRET WORLD OF ARIETTY - G - Animated - Barry Wurst II writes, “Arrietty Clock and her father, Pod, are quietly creeping into a home that isn’t theirs, on a mission to steal a block of sugar and tissue paper. It sounds easy and peculiar enough, with the exception of a key detail: the Clocks are no taller than your index finger...”

94 min.

HUGO - G - Family - Based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law. 127 min.

DR. SUESS’ THE LORAX - R - Horror - Green washing goes to Hollywood with another bastard-

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND - PG - Fantasy/Family - “This is a dopey adventure romp

BIG MIRACLE - PG - Family - When whales are trapped in an Arctic Circle neighborhood, who you gonna call? Drew Barrymore! 107 min.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

with truly terrible dialogue,” writes Barry Wurst II. Dwane “The Rock” Johnson, Josh Hutcherson, Vanessa Hudgens, Luis Guzman and Michael Caine star.

94 min.

CHRONICLE - PG 13 - Action/Horror - This movie is proof-positive that three egomaniacal high school boys (wait, is that redundant?) with telekinetic superpowers is the stuff of pure horror. 83 min.

THE ARTIST - PG 13 - Romance - A silent film star grapples with his waning fame as newfangled “talkies” become all the rage. 100 min.

1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) 21 Jump Street- R -THU 1:15, 3:45, 6:15, 8:40.

FRI-WED 10:45, 1, 4:05, 7, 9:45.

Act of Valor- R -THU 1:35, 4:20, 7:15.

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2D)- PG -THU 1:30, 3:50, 6, 8:05. FRI-WED 11:15, 1:30, 3:50, 6, 8:05, 10.

Hunger Games- PG 13 -FRI-WED 11, 1:55, 4:50, 7:50, 10:45.

John Carter (2D)- PG 13 -THU 1:55, 4:50, 7:45.

FRI-WED 11:10, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 10:20.

ization of Seussian genius; of what’s meant for the unadulterated page. (PS: Remember, supporters of Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie must boycott The Lorax!) 94 min.

JOHN CARTER - PG 13 - Sci-Fi - Martian intrigue may not resonate with post-Viking Mission kiddies like it does for generations reared prior (notwithstanding Alfred Russel Wallace’s 1907 critique of Percival Lowell’s “Mars and Its Canals”). Nonetheless, keiki and kupuna alike are sure to be enthralled by John Carter, based on the pulp fantasy series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. For a century these stories have been read “with breathless fascination,” as the venerable Carl Sagan extolled (in his landmark doco series, Cosmos: A Personal Journey; episode five, “Blues for a Red Planet”), “arous[ing] generations of eight-year-olds, myself among them, to wonder whether we ourselves might one day venture to the distant planet Mars.”

132 min.

A THOUSAND WORDS - PG 13 - Comedy - Think Liar Liar with a New Age twist. Starring Eddie Murphy.

91min.

KUKUI MALL

SILENT HOUSE - R - Horror - Remake of a Uruguayan film made just two years ago because Americans hate subtitles and creativity. 86 min.

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM/LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEEKEND

THURSDAY 3.22

SOUL CONGRESS W/ CLAY MORTENSON 9PM • NO COVER

FRIDAY 3.23

GOMEGA FEATURING

RISING STRONG 10PM SUNDAY 3.25

THE GINA

THIS MEANS WAR - PG 13 - Action/Romantic Comedy - A tale of two best buddies (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy) who are both CIA agents–and both dating the same conniving blond (Reese Witherspoon). 98 min.

MARTINELLI BAND

TYLER PERRY’S GOOD DEEDS - PG 13 - Romance/Drama - If Tyler Perry really wanted to do a good deed, he’d stop torturing us with his movies.

111 min.

WEDNESDAY 3.28

WANDERLUST - R - Romantic Comedy - Paul Rudd (a noted Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie supporter) and Jennifer Aniston star as a Manhattan couple who suddenly find themselves unemployed and living in a rurual, free-love commune.

Hilarity presumably ensues. 98 min. ■

8:30PM • NO COVER

BLUES WITH THE HOUSE SHAKERS 8:30PM • NO COVER

808.879.3133

1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G MARCH 22, 2012

21

CALENDAR

Friday

3/23

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS

BY ANU YAGI

SWITCHFOOT IN CONCERT – Thu., Mar. 22.

These Christian rockers went mainstream after four of their songs were featured in the flick “A Walk to Remember” (2002). They are the recipients of nine GMA Dove Awards, and their major label debut, “The Beautiful Letdown,” has sold 2.6 million copies. $24.50 / $20.50 / $56.50. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org ECLECTIC FOLK ROCKER MARC BLACK

Saturday

3/24

– Fri., Mar. 23. See This Week’s Picks for more. Presented by Sussman Communications in cooperation with Li’ Dat Productions. $20. 7pm door / 7:30pm show. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); marcblack.com SOLO SESSIONS WITH JERRY SANTOS – Fri., Mar. 23. Best known for his work in the group Olomana (teaming with Robert Beaumont in 1974), singer/songwriter Jerry Santos has been a familiar presence in Hawaii’s music scene for almost four decades. The Solo Sessions series is the perfect opportunity to hear Santos’s work in an intimate concert venue while learning the stories behind his music. $25 / $45 VIP (includes meet-and-greet with Santos after the show). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org ZIGGY MARLEY’S “WILD & FREE” TOUR – Sun., Mar. 25. Reggae royalty returns to Maui as fivetime Grammy winner Ziggy Marley tours his fourth solo album, “Wild and Free.” Inner Circle and Maui’s own Marty Dread open. See This Week’s Picks for more. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 4pm gates / 5pm show. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

STAGE

MAPA PRESENTS “SNOW ANGEL” – Runs Mar. 16-17 and 23-25. Maui Academy of Performing Arts’ “Snow Angel” is an “edgy, mysterious play about teen angst and self-discovery and staying true to yourself no matter what other people think of you” with a 16-member cast of local folks, directed by Sally Sefton. The play was written by David Lindsay-Abaire (the Pulitzer-winning playwright also responsible for “Shrek The Musical”). $8 students / $12 adults. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Kaahumanu Center (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 244-8760; mauiacademy.org ‘ULALENA – Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves).

Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua!. Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packags available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre, fka Maui Myth & Magic Theatre, built specifically for ‘Ulalena (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 1-877688-4800; mauitheatre.com

TICKETS ON SALE

MUST-SEE PHOTOJOURNALIST PETER SIMON: “THROUGH THE LENSE: A LIFE FILLED WITH HISTORY, FRIENDSHIPS, ADDICTIONS” – For over 40 years, Peter Simon has documented some of the worlds most historic events, from 1960s protests, hippie communes and the New Age movement, to the greatest names in rock, reggae and pop. In this multimedia presenta-

22

MARCH 22, 2012

tion, Simon speaks honestly about his photographic art, privileged background, alternative lifestyle explorations and addictions. Diane Sawyer says, “Peter Simon is a magician... capturing moonbeams in his hands and lens. Most of the world’s thrilling places elude their documentations, but Peter’s life is a voyage of his generation; a virtual prism of the counterculture from then to now.” Thai dinner entrees, desserts and chai made available pre-show. Plus, the ever-amazing Randall Rospond performs live. $15 cash at door. 6pm live music / 7pm presentation.

Temple of Peace (575 Haiku Rd.); 575-5220; templeofpeacemaui.com / petersimon.com

MOONLIGHT SERIES FEATURING RAUL MIDON – Thu., Mar. 29. Blind since infancy, American singer-songwriter and guitarist, Raul Midon straddles the genres of Latin, folk-pop and jazz with show-stopping vocals and dazzling instrumental technique. Combining his soulful tenor and syncopated, percussive guitar with improvisational mouth trumpet sounds, Midon is an exciting one-man show. $28 / $33. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org STELLA BLUES SUPPER CLUB – Thu. & Fri., Mar. 29-30 and Sat., Apr. 7. Coming to the intimate Supper Club stage are Makana (Mar. 29-30) and John Cruz (Apr. 7). These shows sell out fast, so get your tickets early. $30 show-only / $60 with four-course dinner. 6pm dinner seating / 7:30pm showtime. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com DAVID BROMBERG TRIO – Fri., Mar. 30. David Bromberg is a master practitioner of folk, blues and bluegrass, and his trio features Mark Cosgroe (guitar/mandolin/vocals) and Nate Grower (fiddle/ mandolin/vocals). Known as a “hired gun” for recording artists, Rolling Stone raves “Bromberg... makes every track shine, like the A-list session man he’s always been”; meanwhile Jerry Jeff Walker says, “[Bromberg’s] the reason man created stringed instruments. David touched them with a lover’s fingers and they moaned that true love right back at him.

Wood and wire and flesh spoke.” $28 / $35 / $45 Golden Circle. 7pm doors / 7:30pm show. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); lazarbear.com NA ALI’I OF COMEDY – Fri., Mar. 30. For the very first time, five of Hawaii’s comedy legends–Frank De Lima, Ed Kaahea, Mel Cabang, Andy Bumatai and Augie T– unite onstage for what’s sure to be the biggest local comedy show of 2012. De Lima’s a 14time Na Hoku Hanohano award winner whose family friendly humor has been entertaining the islands (especially school children; as all my local peeps can assuredly recall “Going on a Buta Hunt” and “Peanut Butter and Jelly”) for almost four decades. Kaahea is the last surviving member of the iconic trio Booga Booga, meanwhile the big names of Cabang and Bumatai have been synonymous with Hawaiian comedy for more than 30 years, each appearing on numerous TV commercials and local programs. Augie T.’s an inescapably popular contemporary comedian–his voice and visage all over radio and local TV–and is at the heart of the revival of Hawaii’s comedy scene. $22.50 / $35 VIP (includes meet-and-greet with the artists after the show). 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org WE LIKE ICKE – Sat., Mar. 31. David Icke’s a former “professional soccer player, journalist [and] network anchorman with the BBC” turned “full time investigator into who and what is really controlling the world” (davidickebooks.co.uk). Icke’s authored bunches of books including “The Biggest Secret,” which writer Richard Kahn calls the “Rosetta stone for conspiracy junkies.” At this day-long lecture event, Icke will discuss myriad topics including “The Moon Matrix,” his “most staggering revelation” of all, in

which he says that the moon is a huge “spacecraft... home to the extraterrestrial group that has been manipulating humanity for aeons.” Presented by Global Media Productions. There will be three meal breaks during the event with pre-sold lunch ($10) and dinner ($15) options made available by Vasi’s Gourmet Catering. (Note: There’s no guarantee that food will be available if not pre-purchased. Visit mauiarts.org to view menu and order.) $39 / $69 / $99. 9am registration / 10am-10pm program. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

SAVE THE DATE: AN EVENING WITH W.S. MERWIN – Sat., Mar. 31. W.S. Merwin has been a force in American poetry for 60 years, beginning when W.H. Auden selected his first collection, A Mask for Janus (1952) for the Yale Series of Younger Poets. Though his style has evolved much over his long career, he has remained influential, receiving nearly every major award for poetry, including two Pulitzer prizes: in 1971 for The Carrier of Ladders, and in 2009 for The Shadow of Sirius. In 2010, W.S. Merwin was appointed the Library of Congress’ 17th Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry. This event is co-presented with University of Hawai‘i Foundation.

Free (however, the event is ticketed as limited seating is available). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

IMUA FAMILY SERVICES PRESENTS PATRICK HENRY HUGHES IN CONCERT – Wed., Apr. 11. Patrick Henry Hughes is a remarkable young man who was born without eyes and without the ability to fully straighten his arms and legs, making him unable to walk. Nevertheless, he became a a virtuoso pianist, vocalist and trumpet player. Patrick’s presentation is accompanied by his father who talks about his own journey raising a child with disabilities and what that means for a parent. Also, the Maui High School Band will perform. This event is part of an outreach campaign by Imua Family Services, celebrating its 65 years of service on Maui to children with developmental delays, disabilities and special needs. $10 keiki 12-years-old and younger / $20 adults. 7pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS

SIGN UP NOW: FREE AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM FOR YOUNG ENVIRONMENTALISTS – Maui Huliau Foundation invites all Maui youth ages 12-18 to join in on an adventure exploring Maui’s natural resources from the mountains (uka) to the ocean (kai), traversing the fertile lands (kula) in between. This new program, called Hui Laulima, begins on Apr. 11, running for four Wednesday afternoons and on one whole Saturday. Students will battle invasive species at the Waikamoi Preserve in East Maui, pilage the Waihe’e Wetlands Refuge for marine debris, and trek the wilderness of ‘Iao Valley.

Registration required. Free for the first 14 students who apply online at mauihuliaufoundation.org/laulima. Call 573-1041 for more information.

EVENTS

THURSDAY, MARCH 22

PLANT-STRONG COOKING CLASS – Every Thu. This class emphasizes cooking without added sugars and oils, and compliments Whole Foods’ Engine 2 Diet Challenge. For more information or to sign up, email spmmm-marketing@wholefoods.com.

Free. 5:30pm. Whole Foods Market (Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 243-2290; mauicountyfarmbureau.org

TheGRID

THURSDAY

3/22

FRIDAY

3/23

SATURDAY

3/24

SUNDAY

3/25

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/26-3/28

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Pi’ilani Arias, 5-8pm / Kimie & Irie Love, 9pm (all sets no cover)

Braddah Francis, 4-8pm / Soul Congress w/ Clay Mortensen, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Flashback Saturdays Dance Party w/ DJ Z 9:30pm; no cover

Sunday Skool Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ, DJ Blinky and MC Bishop 10pm; no cover

MON - Clay Mortensen, 4-7pm; Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Pi’ilani Arias, 7-10pm / WED - Teri Garrison, 5-8pm; Free Karaoke Night w/ Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm; no cover / DJ Kurt (Ambrosia’s Next Top DJ winner!)

10pm; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Sunrize Saturday w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED - Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino / TUE - Live Jazz / WED - Jordan Cuddy (all sets 7-9:30pm; no cover)

Indio & Avi’s Romantic Guitars 7pm; no cover

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: “Back to the Future: w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

Barefoot Minded 7-9:30pm; no cover

CASANOVA

Beauty & The Bass w/ Carly D, DJ Aarin GZ & DJ Sweetbeats 10pm; $10

DJ Kurt & DJ AstroRaph 10pm; $5

CHARLEY’S

Paia Fourth Friday w/ LiA LiVE & The Kryptones plus Teomon & Leylani 9:30pm; $10

Groove House w/ DJ Del Sol & Marasco 9:30pm; $10

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Live Music 8pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Sunday Funday 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Jukebox Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Portland’s Keegan Smith 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON – Glen Awong of Maoli / TUE - Big John (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Molokai’s Ekolu Kalama 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close (all sets no cover)

Indio & Avi 8-11pm; no cover

Crazyfingers 8-11pm; no cover

The House Shakers 8-11pm; no cover

Blues & Brunch w/ R.E. Metoyers Blues Rock and Soul Review 11am-3pm

MON - The Blues Spirit of Maui / TUE - Kenny Roberts / WED - Evan Schulman (all sets 8-11pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

MEET THE AUTHOR OF “EDWARD BAILEY OF MAUI” – See This Week’s Picks for more.

Free. 6:30pm. Wailuku Public Library (251 S. High St.); 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org

DHARMA TALK: “BUDDHA STANDARD TIME” WITH LAMA SURYA DAS – See This Week’s Picks for more. $25 advance / $30 day of.

7-9pm. Lumeria Maui (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); lumeriamaui.com / follow @LamaSuryaDas on Twitter

FRIDAY, MARCH 23

PAIA FOURTH FRIDAY’S GOT A SPRING IN ITS STEP – One of This Week’s Picks! See below for your shop-by-shop scoops. Free. 6-9pm. Paia Town. mauifridays.com >>> LiA LiVE and The Kryptones take over Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon’s late night stage with special guests Teomon and Leylani (9:30pm; $10). >>> Singer/songwriter Miranda Ellis performs at Indigo Paia (6-9pm), plus Shaka Pops dishes up gourmet popsicles made from local ingredients and sold from a tricycle! >>> Uma of Uma’s Spices cooks up curry dishes and homegrown hot sauce at Mana Food’s tiki bar. >>> Maui Crafts Guild hosts an artist reception for print maker and ceramicist, Michi Itami, with free refreshments and live music (6:30-9pm). >>> Stock up on your favorite Girl Scout cookies and pick up a piece of fine art by local artists at Maui Hands (5-8pm). >>> Oceania Maui offers 20 percent-off their Tahitian pearl jewelry (5-9pm.) >>> Tamara Catz boutique features a new collection

by Chenta Laury, called “A Dialogue with Fiber.” The show’s official opening is on Sat., Mar. 24, but Fourth Friday patrons get a sneak peek of her “exploration of the subtle, elegant beauty of line, shape and color– the building blocks of our natural world–as expressed

through natural fibers.”

SMOKE SHOP GRAND OPENING – Paia’s got a new place for pipes, water pipes, smoking accessories and such, at the all-new Hi Times 808 Gallery & Smoke Shop. Join them for their grand opening and get free decals and toke-less brownies. Located across Mana Foods and above Cafe Des Amis. Free.

Hi Times 808 (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 280-4231

MEET THE AUTHOR OF “EDWARD BAILEY OF MAUI” – See This Week’s Picks for more.

Free. 6:30pm. Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St.); 875-6833; librarieshawaii.org

AFRICAN PRIESTESS LUISAH TEISH PRESENTS “THE MIRROR IN THE WATER: WATER SPIRITS, MERMAIDS AND MADNESS” – See This Week’s Picks for more. Events continue on Sat. & Sun., Mar. 24-25. Call 248-7841 for more information. 7pm. Ala Kukui (a Hana retreat); alakukui.org BEAUTY & THE BASS – Carly D from Oakland, California and DJ Aarin GZ from NorCal come to Maui, joining Valley Isle-based DJ Sweetbeats. $10.

10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com

SATURDAY, MARCH 24

TRINITY BY THE SEA EPISCOPAL CHURCH ANNUAL GARAGE SALE – Get great scores at this annual garage sale fundraiser.

7am-2pm. Trinity Episcopal Church by the Sea (100 Kalanihakoi St., Kihei); trinitybts.org MAUI TREE CLIMBING COURSE – Sat. & Sun., Mar. 24-25. Tree Climbing Planet, a technical and recreational tree climbing school with locations in the Pacific Northwest and Southeastern United States, bring its basic tree climbing course to Maui.

This two-day class provides detailed information on selecting and assessing a climbing tree, learning vari-

ous climbing techniques, setting up the double rope technique climbing system and tying knots. Extensive hands-on practice will ensure “muscle memory,” and all climbing gear and safety equipment is provided for class use. Call or email for more information and to register. $450. 8am-5pm both days. Sprecks Plantation House (448 Alakapa Pl., Paia); 404-313-0562; tim@treeclimbingplanet.com

SOMOS OHANA NICARAGUA’S ANNUAL COUNTRY STORE & YARD SALE – Find new and used items for home, clothing, arts & crafts, framed art, collectibles, books, CDs, DVDs at this massive rummage sale. Plus, check out their country store with fresh fruits, vegetables, baked goods, jams & jellies and plants. Money raised will be used to sponsor a two-week day camp for children and young adults with special needs in Villanueva, Nicaragua in July, 2012. Somos Ohana Nicaragua is an all volunteer, non-profit organization. 8am-2pm. Pukalani Elementary School Cafeteria (2945 Iolani St.); 5729898; somosohananicaragua.org

HO’OMAUI 2012: A BENEFIT CONCERT FOR THE HAWAIIAN LANGUAGE PROGRAMS OF PUNANA LEO O MAUI – See This Week’s Picks for more. $10 advance / $15 door. 9am-sunset. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); ahapunanaleo.org

SAM’S UPCOUNTRY JAM AND ‘UKULELE EXPLOSION! – One of This Week’s Picks! Over 300 ‘ukulele players convene for a giant jam session at this music, food, arts and crafts festival. Plus, enjoy free ‘ukulele lessons with Benny Uyetake & The Kalama ‘Ukulele Kids (11am-12:30pm); a song writers’ workshop with Teri Garrison (10-11am); “’Ukulele Talk Story” sessions with Mele Fong, Roy Sakuma and Henry Allen; “’Ukulele Explosion Jam” with Rama Camarillo, John Toda, Mele Fong and Benny Uyetake (1:30-2pm); a jazz clinic with saxophone great Mel Martin, accompanied by Jay Molina and Mike Ken-

WED - Karaoke nedy; Hawaiian nose flute maker, Anthony Natividad; “Zumba Jam” with Tina Schor, Team LaTina and some of Maui’s best Zumba instructors; a school art and media showcase with Sky Lab Maggie Prevenas and Kalama Science Kids; and mainstage music

by Mel Martin, Andrew Molina, George Kahumoku, Benny Uyetake, Hawaiian Serenaders Mele, Richard Tom, Derick Sebastian, Seabury Hall, Maui ‘Ukulele Pops Band, Ryan Coad and more! Free. 10am-5pm.

S.E. Kalama Intermediate School (120 Makani Rd. Makawao); ukuleleexplosion.com

AFRICAN PRIESTESS LUISAH TEISH PRESENTS “OUR GENUINE HEART AND CALLING FORTH A NEW PERSPECTIVE” – An all-day workshop. See This Week’s Picks for more.

Events continued from Fri., Mar. 23 and on Sun., Mar. 25. Call 248-7841 for more information. 10am-4pm.

Ala Kukui (a Hana retreat); alakukui.org ISLAND REGGAE – With Rebel Souljahz and Ho’aikane in da house, there’s gonna be some serious skankin’ (i.e. “skank” as in the skip-in-place-reggae dance move–not the other kind found skanking at less-savory bars). $20. 10pm. Oceans Bar & Grill (1819 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-2414

SUNDAY, MARCH 25

SUNDAY SATSANG WITH RAM DASS + ACCLAIMED PHOTOJOURNALIST PETER SIMON – Explore a fascinating (and rare) photo show from the burgeoning spiritual culture of the ‘70s with Ram Dass and nationally acclaimed photojournalist Peter Simon. Plus, enjoy special musical guests Beatific Bhaktas (featuring Ken Sandin on vocals/ harmonium, Andrea Walls on violin, Gerit Williams on bass and Udaya Dawn on tabla), and a gourmet indian feast by Kihei’s Monsoon India Restaurant. $20 suggested donation. 3-6pm. Studio Maui (810 Haiku Marketplace); 575-9390; thestudiomaui.com / peter-

MARCH 22, 2012

23

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT

BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM  $10 COVER

FRIDAY MARCH 23RD

BEAUTY & THE BASS

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS “BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $10 COVER

CARLY D (OAKLAND, CA)

DJ AARIN GZ (NOR CAL) DJ SWEETBEATS (MAUI) SATURDAY MARCH 24TH

DJ KURT DJ ASTRO RAPH

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $5 COVER

DUBSTEP  HOUSE  HIP-HOP

SUNDAY MARCH 25TH

MUSIC STARTS AT 7PM N0 COVER

INDIO & AVI’S ROMANTIC GUITARS

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING  DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

Friday, March 30 • Iao Theatre - Wailuku • 808.896.4845 68 North Market St., Wailuku • Door: 7:00pm Show: 7:30pm

MAUI ARTS +

ENTERTAINMENT WITH

MAUITIME FLAVOR

.com

24

MARCH 22, 2012

TheGRID

THURSDAY

3/22

FRIDAY

3/23

SATURDAY

3/24

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

SUNDAY

3/26-3/28

3/25

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Jamie Gallo 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Open Mic Night w/ Johnny Ringo 9pm-1:30am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ DJ Royes Dynasty 9pm-2am; no coverin

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA CAFE

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; no cover

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

Willie K 9-11pm; $5

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 8-10pm; no cover

MON - Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

Pool Tournament 7-9pm Melanie Reid 7-11pm; no cover

Mekila King 7-11pm; no cover

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MON - Guest Performer / TUE - Guest Performer / WED - Renee Alonzo (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA LULU’S KIHEI

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Neto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

TUE - Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED - Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Pa’a Mana 9:30-11pm

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Murray Thorne, 5:30-7pm / Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65 / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Sirens Duet 6:30-9pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Joyce & Gord w/ Jimmy C, 7-9pm; no cover / TUE - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm; no cover / WED - Joel Katz, 5:30-6:30pm; no cover / Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays, 10pm; $10

Rebel Souljahz and Ho’aikane 10pm; $20

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

simon.com

AFRICAN PRIESTESS LUISAH TEISH PRESENTS “BEFRIENDING OURSELVES, BEFRIENDING MOTHER EARTH” – See This Week’s Picks for more. Events continued from Fri. & Sat., Mar. 23-24. Call 248-7841 for more information.

7pm. Temple of Peace (575 Haiku Rd.); alakukui.org

MONDAY, MARCH 26

TREES, PLEASE, AT BALDWIN BEACH – See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 9am-12pm.

Baldwin Beach Park (Alawai Rd., Paia); 244-7570; maui-tomorrow.org

GROWN ON MAUI CHEF DEMO SERIES FEATURING CHEF JOEY MACADANGDANG – See This Week’s Picks for more. Free.

5:30-6:30pm. Whole Foods Market (Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 243-2290; mauicountyfarmbureau.org

TUESDAY, MARCH 27

DHARMA DIALOGUES WITH CATHERINE INGRAM – Catherine Ingram is an international dharma teacher with communities in the U.S., Europe, and Australia. Since 1992 she has led Dharma Dialogues, which are public events that focus on directing awareness toward greater wellbeing in an ethical and happy life. $15-$20 suggested donation. 7:309pm. Lumeria Maui (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); lumeriamaui.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28

CELEBRATE WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH

TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

WITH A FREE DOCO SCREENING – Enjoy a free screening and discussion of the award winning film, “Who Does She Think She Is?” This riveting documentary by Pamela Tanner Boll, the Academy Award-winning producer of “Born Into Brothels. “ The film features five contemporary wahine artists (including Hawaii’s own Mayumi Oda) who “navigate some of the most problematic intersections of our time: parenting and creativity, partnering and independence, economics and art.” Free. 6-7:45pm. Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 573-8785; librarieshawaii.org

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE – Every Thu., Damien Awai., 3-5pm / Garret & Peter, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Garrett, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sat., Tim, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sun., Fausto, 3-5pm / Damon & Tim, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Brian, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika, 6-8:30pm. Every Tue., Bob Deleon, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Brian, 3-5pm / Kahala & Daniel, 6-8:30pm.

(130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina; 662-2900) HULA GRILL – Every Thu., Ernest Pua’a, 11am1pm / Alika Nako’oka, 1:30-3:30pm / Kaniala Masoe, 4-6pm / Kulewa 6:30-9pm. Every Fri., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Kawika, Roy and Albert, 6:30-9pm.

Every Sat., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Ron, Ikaika & DaMon., 1:30-3:30pm / 1810 4-6pm / Ben &

Glenn, 6-9:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am1pm / Glenn, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio, 6:30-9pm. Every Mon., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Kawika Lum Ho, 1:30-3:30pm / Armadillo, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio & Josh Kahula, 6:30-9pm. Every Tue., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Jarrett Roback & Junior Lacuesta, 1:30-3:30pm / Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 5-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. Every Wed., Ernest Pua’a, 11am1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / Peter DeAquino, 4-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm.

(Whalers Village, Ka’anapali; 667-6636) LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH – Every Thu., Jarret & Wilson. Every Fri., JD & Friends. Every Sat., JD & Harry. Every Sun., Merv Oana. All sets 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali; 661-4495) LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL – Every Thu., Howard Ahia, 6-8pm. Every Fri., Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm. Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” karaoke with Troy, 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm.

(Lahaina Cannery Mall; 661-0808) PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR – Every Thu., Greg di Piazza featuring Alana Cini, 5:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki, 5:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., JD on the Rocks, 5-8pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 6613636) R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE – Every Sun., Live Jazz. (4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889) SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT – Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu, 7-9pm. Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina, 7-9pm. Every Sat., Coehlo Morrison, 7-9pm.

Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina, 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili; 669-1500)

SOUTH MAUI

AMBROSIA – Every Thu., Jamie Gallo, 7pm. Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen, 7pm. Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm [March is “March Madness” month! This Week: “Animal House” (1978).]

(1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-1011) BEACH BUMS – Every Tue., Randall Rospond, 5-8pm. (Ma’alaea Harbor Shops; 243-2286) BUZZ’S WHARF – Every Thu., Kanikapila Thursdays. This week: Francis Kamakaokalani, 3-6:30pm.

(Ma’alaea Harbor; 244-5426) HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH – Every Thu., Junior Lacuesta, 4-8pm. Every Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm. Every Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm.

Mon., Jacob (of the Alliez), 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-1250) KAI WAILEA – Every Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Ryan Robinson, 6-8:30pm. Every Sat., Kanoa Kukaua, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Tom Conway, 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Francois, 6-8:30pm.

(3750 Wailea Alanui; 875-1955) LULU’S KIHEI – Every Thu., Neto & Barbara, 8-11pm. Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2, 6:30-9:30pm.

Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30m. Every Tue., Rick Scanlan, 7-11pm. Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944) MONKEYPOD KITCHEN – Every Thu., Tom & Mike, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Fri., Wolf, 3-5pm and Alika Nako’oka, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sat., Barefoot Minded 3-5pm and Erin Smith 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sun., Alika Nako’oka, 3-5pm and Kilohana, 6:30-8:30pm.

Every Mon., Ron & Tarvin, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., Kilohana, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., Jarret & Wilson,

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SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Dan & Anne 7-10pm; no cover

Jacob Abeytia 7-10pm

Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Black Powder Band

Mango Pickers

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

Ahumanu 4-6pm

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

Kanoa 10pm-close

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover) MON - Still Pono Band, 7-10pm; no cover WED - Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm; no cover

Get Your Motor Running Free Pupus

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm; Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / PowerUp Comedy, 9pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Jamie Gallo: Simply Twisted 9pm-1am; $4

R.S. SHARKY’S

Live Rock, Blues & Dancing 9pm-1am

Live Local & Pop Music 5:30-8pm

MON - Eat & Play Night / TUE - Live Balloon Animal Show / WED - Circus Night + Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks

Soul Congress w/ Clay Mortensen 9pm; no cover

Gomega featuring Rising Strong 10pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 8:30pm; no cover

WED - The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

House of Reggae 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

closed

MON through WED - closed

Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew’s live DJs & go go dancers 10pm; no cover

Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew’s live DJs & go go dancers 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm

Free Karaoke 9pm

MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays (all day) & Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED Singles Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions’ live DJs, 10pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

6:30-8:30pm.

MONSOON INDIA – Every Sat., Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., The Hula Honeys, 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-6666) MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE – Thu., Murray Thorne, 7-9pm., Fri., Sebrina Barron, 6:30-8:30pm.

Sat., The Sirens, 6:30-9pm. Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm.

Mon., Joyce & Gord w/ Jimmy C, 6-8:30pm. Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm. Wed., Joel Katz, 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131) SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE – Every Thu., Erin Smith, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Randall Rospond, 4-6pm. Every Sat., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Sun., Viva La Rumba, 4-6pm. Every Mon., Kanoa Kukaua, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Sebrina Barron, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-6444) STELLA BLUES CAFE – Every Thu., Ah-Tim, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm. Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-3779) TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE – Every Thu., Kawika Lum Ho, 6-9pm. Every Fri., Gina Martinelli, 6-9pm. Every Sat. Dominic or Mike, 6-9pm. Every Sun., Rob & Ron = R2, 6-9pm. Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends, 6-9pm. Every Tue., Mike & Mark, 6-9pm. Every Wed., Steve Sargenti, 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-8860)

CENTRAL/UPCOUNTRY

CAFE DES AMIS – Every Thu., Joe Conte, 6:308:30pm. Every Sat., Live Argentinian music, 6:308:30pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 6:30-8:30pm.

(42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6323) FLATBREAD COMPANY – Every first Thu., Randall Rospond, 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-8989) KAHULUI ALE HOUSE – Thu., Pi’ilani Arias, 5-8pm. Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm. Every Mon., Aloha Jam Session Night with hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm. Every Wed., Teri Garrison, 5-8pm / Free

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

WED - Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Karaoke Night with host Braddah Francis, 8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001) MAKAWAO STEAK HOUSE – Every Sat., Randall Rospond, 6:30-8:30pm. (3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-8711)

LIST YOUR EVENT!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime. com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

MARCH 22, 2012

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HOROSCOPE

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

There are certain people in your life who are practically contractually obligated to take your side and give you the benefit of the doubt—any doubt—at all times. When they don’t live up to their side of the bargain, they need to be called on it, and possibly downgraded in status and position in your life. Everyone needs at least one person who’s always in their corner, no matter what, especially you Rams, who get yourselves into scrapes and backed into corners more often than most other signs.

Who’s your consistent and steadfast ally? Make sure they know how much you appreciate it this week.

When I lived in Berlin, virtually everyone I interacted with spoke fluent English, so I actually had to make German friends who liked me enough to suffer through halting baby talk conversations in German before I was really able to consistently practice speaking the language. You, too, require others to accomplish your goals or master the tasks you’ve set before you. Like me, finding people who adore you enough to humor or indulge you will be key to making progress towards your goals this week.

Luckily, because so many people do think you’re wonderful, that shouldn’t be terribly hard.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Nitpicking is a tough habit to break (especially if you were raised by nitpicky parents), so we get it. But it’s a horrible thing to be around. You must unlearn it. I doubt you’ll ever be able to simply gloss over and fail to notice all the little things that bug you, but resisting the urge to “fix” them (usually by telling others how much they bother you, and to stop) is absolutely key to your future happiness. Recognize how petty your concerns are in the grand scheme of things, and get over them, pronto—for your sake as well as ours.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: A–“Amazing Undiscovered Islands.”

2: C–Naming the airport after former Mayor Hannibal Tavares.

3: D–Maui County Councilman Don Couch.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

You know how, during a race, the sight of a finish line can spur you to tap into reserves you didn’t realize you had? Before you turned the bend, you might have been panting for breath and unsure how you were going to be able to continue, but once you spotted the end of the race, suddenly you found you could sprint top speed. That’s because you always have hidden strength lurking just out of sight (even your own perception), requiring a specific catalyst to allow yourself access to it. A spark of this exact sort should evoke a surprising (and delightful) response in you this week. Enjoy!

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Sarcasm is hilarious until it’s relentlessly employed. Your mischievous wit is wonderful, most of the time, but it has a terrible downside, too. When people can’t ever catch you being sincere about anything, it becomes a kind of problem, my dear. We love your wit, humor, and playful attitude towards life, and want you to keep it 90% intact. But this week especially, you need to inject about 10% more seriousness and sincerity into your interactions, or people will find you, in general, 100% less funny, fun to be around, or worth spending time with.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

How long should you beat yourself up about something you did wrong? Most Cancers extend the masochistic self-torture long past the point of reason or reasonableness, and are usually still at it long after their transgressions have been forgiven and/or forgotten by everyone else concerned. How, pray tell, is that serving you? There’s a difference between learning a lesson from a mistake you made and punishing yourself so extensively that it keeps you from real happiness. I won’t begrudge you a delicious gristly morsel of guilt to chew on for a while. But you have to promise to spit it out before you’ve worried all the flavor right out of it.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Open-mindedness will save your ass this week. Sometimes we get into a bit of a habit where our automatic response to anything new is, “no thanks.” However, that’s counterproductive to what you’re trying to achieve right now. That “no” is born out of a subconscious fear of the unknown, or failure, generally— something you really need to get over. The unknown has lots of great stuff that will ultimately add to your life. Try to make your new default answer “yes.” Even though that might get you into a few weird situations, almost all of them will, ultimately, turn out to be positive.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Being considerate of how other people will receive something you say or do is one thing, but being overly concerned about what they think of you is quite another. Just letting go of others’ perceptions and opinions is something I wouldn’t expect you to happily do, ever. That’d be like denying yourself a superpower and a twisted pleasure/worry, all at once. However, I hope that you’ll be able to mostly not care much. Ultimately, unless you’re doing real harm to someone (including yourself), you should feel free to do whatever the hell you want. Ironically, the less you care about others’ negative judgments, the fewer of them you’ll receive.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Jokes can get taken too far. It’s unfortunate when something that began with decent, mostly good-hearted intentions ends up having negative repercussions. That may happen this week.

If it does, the best thing you can do is notice, put a stop to whatever’s happening, and backpedal as quickly as possible.

People’s feelings may get bruised, but finding the right blend of sympathy and low-key apology will keep everything from getting blown out of proportion. Fortunately, you’re so loveable and charming, you can, as long as you don’t blow off someone’s hurt feelings, talk your way out of almost any mess. Just try not to duplicate this situation any time soon—because pulling off a similar feat a second time won’t be so easy.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Your body’s a resilient machine. It can cope with small amounts of virtually anything. But load it up with larger quantities of anything unnatural, be it processed foods, cigarettes, diet soda, etc., and you may be setting yourself up for problems. Everything in moderation, my friend! You know you’ve crossed that line a while back, but it’s not too late to mostly recover from any damage you may have done—provided you start taking steps now, today, to make better choices. If you can’t be bothered, try not to be bitter later—you’ll have only yourself to blame.

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AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Sometimes you just know something’s not going to go well, before you even really get started with it. Trust your gut. It might be best to cut your losses and bail out now, before you’re mired deeper into this mess. Make your apologies, and as gracious an exit as possible, but get the hell out. Someone may be miffed about your swift exit, but not as pissed as they’d be if you stuck around and made the whole situation worse. Of course, they don’t know that, so try to make your escape as plausible as possible. If you can fake an illness or produce a few well-timed tears, that’d help.

Call Kevin

808.276.0873

PANELISTS

MAUI SOCIAL MEDIA USERS GROUP Thursday, March 29, 2012 4:00PM-6:30PM

JEFF BENNET @DIGITALSPLASH

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*Seating Limited to 30

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Heartbreak’s a part of life. Trying to shield yourself from it is really crippling your ability to enjoy and be open to your relationships. While it’s a good idea to put up a wall or three during the healing process, right after your heart’s been broken, those barriers need to eventually come down, just like a bandage needs to come off of a wound. Being cautious thereafter is natural, but eventually you must be willing to take some risks. You’ve been wearing a couple of your emotional bandaids so long they’re starting to get crusty. Rip them off already. It’s time.

JEN RUSSO @JENRUSSO @MAUITIME

PETER LIU @PETERLIU47

TOMMY RUSSO @TOMMYRUSSO

REGISTER ONLINE AT: hightechmaui.com/programs/workshops.cfm

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

MARCH 22, 2012

29

CLASSIFIED

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30

MARCH 22, 2012

CASH FOR OLD POI POUNDERS & OTHER HAWAIIANA We Loan Cash For Old Poi Pounders & Other Hawaiiana 52 N. Market St. Wailuku 242-5555

WE PAY TOP $ FOR YOUR GOLD! JEWELRY • WATCHES DIAMONDS • COINS NEW

WE NOW BUY AND SELL QUALITY USED FURNITURE!

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689

1000 LIMAHANA PL., LAHAINA CHECK OUT OUR NEW KIHEI LOCATION!

Convenient Upcountry Location �

CASH FOR TOOLS We Loan Cash For All Good Condition Working Tools 52 N. Market St. Wailuku 242-5555

SOUTH MAUI GOLD

Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com (AAN CAN)

REPAIR SHOP

• Complete Diagnostics • Transmissions • Engines • Factory Services • Tune ups • A/C Service & Repairs • Complete Brake and Suspension

BODY SHOP

• Insurance Salvaged Vehicle Repair • Custom Body & paint • Frame Straightening • Rust Repair • Bumper and Panel Repair • Refinishing 355 Alamaha St. Kahului, HI CALL NOW

495.0176

CHRYSLER EXPERTS!

BMW / MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI

SERVICE • PARTS • ACCESSORIES

10% DISCOUNT

FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE

• Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls • Towing • Extended Warranty Service • Custom & Performance Products & Installation • Collision Repair • Restorations • Detailing • Tires • Wheels • Mufflers • Batteries • Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

DIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS

(#RD 3881)

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE

878-2698

AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

Offering shipping on all orders

HANGLOOSE HAMMOCKS HAWAII

658 Front St. • Lahaina Wharf Cinema Center 808-244-3908

(Upstairs, next to Cool Cats)

www.hangloosehammockshawaii.com

MUSIC EQUIPMENT

CASH FOR UKULELES We Loan Cash For Ukuleles 52 N. Market St. Wailuku 242-5555

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

Rest & Relaxation

Traditional, Chair & Travel Hammocks in many styles!

scissors or tools while you shop, or call 446-0134. Over 12 years experience.

SERVICES

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, newspaper, & cardboard. Now also: glossy paper & office paper recycling offered.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $25.15/mo! Bi-monthly pick up.

Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443 PRECISION SHARPENING Knives, Scissors, Clipper Blades, Garden Tools and More. See us at the Maui Swap Meet located at the UH Maui Campus every Saturday from 7am-1pm in space 314. We’ll sharpen your knives,

PANORAMIC OCEAN VIEW 2 bd/2ba Kihei condo. Walk to beaches, restaurants, and shopping. Only $269,000. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222.

The Wailea Group LLC. DEVELOPKIHEILAND.COM 3.24 acres with preliminary subdivision and SMA approval across from the ocean. $1,449,000 Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC MULTI-UNIT KIHEI INVESTMENT PROPERTY Rent amounts currently total $2925/month. Only $329,000.

Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 2832222 The Wailea Group LLC

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES. COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

VACATION RENTALS

CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

EMPLOYMENT

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN)

HEALTH

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

NOTICES

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

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Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies!

Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.theworkhub.net (AAN CAN)

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PATRICK’S

SCREEN DOORS & WINDOWS

MOBILE ‘FAST-FIX’

RESCREENED • REPAIRED REPLACED

CASH FOR CARS

AUTOMOTIVE

› ALL MAKES, MODELS & REPAIRS › 1 DAY CLUTCH REPLACEMENTS CALL › ASE CERTIFIED 205.2345 › SINCE 1991

808.280.2667 15+ YEARS EXPERIENCE

Maui Bliss Body Work

15 years experience relaxing & re-newing the body’s energy!

Mind, Body & Spirit *HEALING HANDS M4M* Treat yourself to a full-body M4M combination nurturing & therapeutic bodywork session. Incalls & out-calls available. Call 242-1122.

LOW COST TRAINING & CERTIFICATION IN REIKI I, II & III March 24 & 25, FREE Introductory Evening: 5-7 pm, Saturday, March 3rd,.Info: 808-463-8255, TheHighestThoughts.com SEX LIFE ON HOLD? Sex therapist with 25+ yrs. exp. solves communication problems and all sex & relationship concerns. Private & Confidential Phone Sessions Worldwide FREE PHONE CONSULTATION Call Dr. Bouchard 891-0952 www.sexhappiness.com FIND MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS! Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New February/March Maui Vision Magazine out now! Call 669-9091 for info.

CLEAR LIGHT BODYWORK I am here to receive you with open arms to help you cleanse and heal your body. Will clear unconsciously held patterning, and even disturbed emotional energy within the body. A spiritual cleansing and clearing.

808-281-0646

MASSAGE

LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY - NOW JUST $45 FOR ONE HOUR SESSION! Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable West Maui location by a Certified LMT. For Pregnancy Massage, Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call Susan 276-2114. Same day appts. available. MAT#8984 Ask about our new Pet Massage services now available.

MARCH HEALING RETREAT 3/28 - 3/29 - 3/30 USUI REIKI TRAINING All Levels I,II,III 3/24 - 3/25 or 3/26 - 3/27 or 3/31 - 4/1

PRIVATE ROMANTIC COUPLE’S SESSIONS AVAILABLE ALSO SPECIALIZING IN TANTIC THEORY AND COUPLES COACHING RELAX WITH THE SOOTHING SOUNDS OF THE OCEAN WAVES, AND LOOSE YOUR MIND. PEACEFUL ENERGY, CALM, QUIET, ENERGIZING TOUCH, INTENSE BREATHING TECHNIQUES.

Contact Susie at Mauibless@gmail.com 808.280.6581

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Authentic THAI Bodywork

808.269.0703

•

Authentic $45

Thai Bodywork

With Dawan Upcountry Location

264-1576 PAN’S

Experience Thailand’s Living Treasure!

298.8869

SpaSessions Hot Tub/Bodywork Nurturing & Pampering Senior Special!

Krystal - 298-0457 Upcountry Area

There is nothing more sad than a business without an ad.

Call mauitime today!

808-283-3260

$45

Call NOM in Pukalani • 344-2695

for 1 hour!

Therapeutic Massage

90 45 70 THAI BODY WORK With Thai Herbs & Balms Located Upcountry

Ancient Techniques • Herbs • Balms

$

$

60 min

$

90 min

•Organic Products• Kihei • MAT #11951

808.463.1771

1000’s of NEW ITEMS

from The Tucson Gem & Mineral Show!

50% OFF RED-TAG ITEMS!

Green Lotus

2 hrs

• Cystals • Minerals • • Asian Art • Jewelry •

Open 7 days a week • 10am - 5pm

MASSAGE FACIAL COMBOS

Green Ti

Come See What’s New

244.2300

1816 Mill Street • Wailuku

Boutique & Massage

I'ao Acupuncture & Spa

2012 Year of the Dragon

Massage • Acupuncture • Gifts • Facials • Waxing

Alii Kula Lavender Products now available!

OUR SECOND LOCATION

NOW OPEN IN KIHEI! 95 LIPOA ST. #105 • 874-5333

OPEN MON-SAT IN KIHEI OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK IN WAILUKU 40 N. Market St. Wailuku, HI 242-8788

NOW WITH 2 LOCATIONS!

95 Lipoa St. #105 Kihei, HI 874-5333

www.greentimaui.com *Now accepting Health Insurance

50% OFF

90 MIN

JADE MASSAGE initial consultation & $75 SPECIAL acupuncture treatment with Deborah Maghen, LAc with Honora Kalama, LMT *must mention ad to receive specials

Call:249-8280 · www.iaoacupuncture.com

CHINESE TRADITIONAL BODY WORK BEAUTIFUL STUDIO

Stiff Neck/Frozen Shoulders Headache Facial Beauty Whole Body Care North Kihei 8:30AM-7:00PM

808-269-7342

XIAO

MARCH 22, 2012

31

THE SHINS @ THE MACC APRIL 18TH • 7PM ALL AGES

Anew Tattoo

By Nancy

808 gallery & smoke shop

pipes • water pipes • accessories maui made hand-blown glass

Paia Tattoo Parlor

*grand opening!

4th friday • march 23

Use your Smart Phone to scan this code with QR Code App

CRATER DOGS

MAUI’S ONLY VERTICAL HOT DOG!

NOW OPEN!

ALL BEEF GOURMET POLISH DOG FRESH LOCALLY BAKED BREAD

@

*FREE decals & alice b. toke-less brownies

808.579.8515

across from Mana Foods • above Café Des Amis 42 baldwin ave • 808-280-4231

FIND ME ON FACEBOOK

InkIng MauI for 18 years

LAVA FLOWS CENTER TOASTED “PUKA” SOFT ROLL WITH GOURMET ALL BEEF POLISH DOG & TOPPINGS ON THE INSIDE (VEGGIE DOGS TOO!)

NOW AT: 333 DAIRY ROAD • KAHULUI 808-205-3683

(NEXT TO MINUTE STOP & WOW WEE)

MAUI TATTOO COMPANY

Traditional, Custom, Polynesian, Cover-Ups, Portraits & Permanent Makeup. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., under Lu Lu’s. 874-0034 WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS

Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $469k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

FOR AS LITTLE AS

AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL!

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2011. For reservations call 877-7005

We’ve moved!

Check out our new 4,000 sq ft. warehouse at 320 Hoohana St. Unit 13-16 in Kahului!

Next to Pacific Fish Market and Mcguire Bearing

BMW / MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI

SERVICE • PARTS • ACCESSORIES

A store for gardeners big and small

TO THE HOTTEST SHOWS IN MAUI.

TIX

SPORTFISHING

10% DISCOUNT

(#RD 3881)

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE

878-2698

AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

MEDICAL MARIJUANA INITIAL CERTIFICATION $200 RENEWALS $150 • ALL FEES INCLUDED

CALL BRAD AT 283-3260 OR TOMMY AT 283-0512 TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT

FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE

DIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS

WIN

$115/WEEK

CHRYSLER EXPERTS!

• Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls • Towing • Extended Warranty Service • Custom & Performance Products & Installation • Collision Repair • Restorations • Detailing • Tires • Wheels • Mufflers • Batteries • Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

Kahului 871-6393 • Haiku 575-9999 OhanaGreenhouse.com NationalGardenWholesale.com

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS!

Mum’s the word..

But the secret is out

Give a young person a fish and he eats for a day.

Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

Photo © Mark Moquin & WaveShotsMaui

TIX

TO THE HOTTEST SHOWS IN MAUI.

WIN

Go to mauitime.com/contests:

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’ 42 ft. Custom Sportfishers Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is

FREE

Valley Isle Gymnastics

and we make a $300 donation to a Maui charity

(808) 667-2774

S i m p ly

www.valleyislegymnastics.com • info@valleyislegymnastics.com

Go to mauitime.com/contests:

@ THE MACC MAY 18TH ALL AGES

becauSe it’S fun!

250 Alamaha at Wakea, Suite N8 • Kahului • 871-6116

Use your Smart Phone to scan this code with QR Code App