15.30 This Land Is My Land, This Land Is Your Land, January 12, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 30, MauiTime

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This Land is My Land,

This Land is Your . d n a L

's i u a M f o n o i t a n m e d n o ; n w The c o t y t n a h s y e l l a V y Happ ind f l 'l u o y t i n i w o h d n a

by

Anu Yagi

. i ' i a Haw

Page 8

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JANUARY 12, 2012

Contents VOLUME 15

✚

READER FEEDBACK

ISSUE 30

BY READERS LIKE YOU THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: If you had control over a kingdom, what would it be called?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Fred Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Anu World Proofreader: Dina Wilson Tree Land Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com The Kingdom of Awesome Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Freedonia General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Tequilaburgh

COVER: Joseph “Sonny” Manaois, Jr. standing amongst one of the taro fields he’s helped cultivate in Happy Valley’s shanty town. Read all about it on page 8.

Photo by Scrappers

5 NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY 8 DINING 15 THIS WEEK’S PICKS 19 20 DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID 21 FILM CRITIQUE 26 FILM TIMES 27 HOROSCOPE 29 CLASSIFIED 30 31 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 My Cootch Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Tomopolis

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

HATES FERRY IDIOTS There is no doubt that a slew of idiots both planned and blew the last inter-island ferry for a number of good and bad reasons (Coconut Wireless, Jan. 5, 2012). My question to those who completely oppose the idea is to ask how do we freely travel about the islands not completely at the mercy of the airlines? We are hostage to them, and given their escalating costs, too many islanders are prevented from visiting other islands, families, and other economic possibilities. Let’s have some decent, fairly affordable inter-island ferry system, but plan and execute it legally, while having it be as “green” as possible.

-Vincent Linares, via email After living here 30 plus years and seeing the first ferry not work and now the million dollar building in Ma‘alaea has been torn down that was built for the first ferry. And the second ferry, 40 million plus and now that is gone–oh well, our taxpayer dollars–and then he [state Representative Joe Souki] JOKES about calling a special session again so the Supreme Court can veto it again! And the $5.27 billion rail transit going 20 MILES that [U.S. Senator Daniel] Inouye is pushing... Millions and billions of taxpayer dollars when we need this money for a balanced budget.

-Anonymous, via Mauifeed.com

MMM... PIE I agree Leoda’s is a treat (Leoda’s Kitchen and Pie Shop, Jan. 5, 2012). However, I feel the prices are too high. They can at least with the sandwiches provide chips and a pickle for that price. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very good, but still priced too high. Hope they knock the $$$ back some.

And who will try and master the art of REAL ITALIAN BREAD in the kitchen???

Bueller... Bueller...

-Afanbutwouldliketoseepricescomedown!, via Mauitime.com

AT LEAST IT WAS COHERENT Ladies and Gentlemen, the world’s longest run-on sentence (Year in Mauitime Feedback, Dec. 29, 2011)!! My God, it’s like the MT staff got wasted on eggnog at the last moment and barely managed to coherently compile the article!!

Anonymouse, via Mauitime.com

STRETCHED LOGIC As someone that’s been actively stretching their ear lobes since the ‘90s (in addition to other forms of body modification), this is exactly the sort of misinformation that I’ve seen come from multiple media outlets over the past two decades (News of the Weird, Dec. 29, 2011). I could spend the time correcting and disproving the multiple assertions one-by-one, but assume that people likely don’t care.

At the end of the day, this depiction portrayed in “Stretched Lobes!” is myopic, outdated and simply wrong on multiple levels. At best, it’s a fluff piece that nobody will take seriously. At worst, you’re actually encouraging young people to use dangerous practices (“sometimes with a holepunch tool”) that can do serious harm to themselves. I would much rather see you use your voice for education over sensationalizing half-truths, rumors and lies.

-Mike, via Mauitime.com

CORRECTION In the “Proarts Presents ‘Ruthless’” Pick of the Week that ran in our Jan. 5, 2012 issue, we spelled the names of actor Lina Aiko Krueger and lighting designer Bonnie Prucha wrong. We regret the errors.

Send your feedback to the editor editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

U ’S LARGEST MAUI SELECTION OF:

GLASS PIPES, VAPORIZERS WATER PIPES & ACCESSORIES

DG;9L=< 9:GN= :D9;CA=K HAL KLGH AF CA@=A 874-1040 JANUARY 12, 2012

3

THE 2012

NEWS&VIEWS

MIND BODY SPIRIT ISSUE

QUIZunderstood 1. At 8:45am or so on Friday, Jan. 6, all personnel evacuated the Maui County Service Center, located at the Maui Mall in Kahului. According to a County of Maui press release on the incident, why did they do this?

A. A strong propane odor wafted in from a nearby gas company that was purging its tanks.

B. A crazy guy carrying a backpack, three different kinds of granola bars and a copy of the latest Maxim ran in and threatened to blow the place up.

C. There was a two-for-one breakfast burrito special going on at Taco del Mar. D. Someone said Zooey Deschanel was carrying the most adorable little puppy ever over by the theaters.

2.

Just two sites on Maui made the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s list of the top 10 toxic releases in 2010, according to the Jan. 7 Maui News. What were the two sites?

You know Maui Time Weekly’s Mind, Body & Spirit section is the island’s only weekly guide to alternative health care, fitness, nutrition and lifestyle.

Now get ready for our ninth annual special Mind, Body & Spirit Issue, where we will explore some of the fascinating and revolutionary ways in which you can enhance your health and soul.

Call and reserve your space today!

Deadline: Jan. 20th Publishes: Jan. 26th

To reserve space contact Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com 4

JANUARY 12, 2012

A. The Pu‘unene sugar mill and the MECO power station in Ma‘alaea.

B. The Pu‘unene sugar mill and sewage plant in Honokowai.

C. The MECO power stations in Kahului and Ma‘alaea.

D. The Pu‘unene sugar mill and the restroom in the Kihei Jack in the Box.

3. On Jan. 4, the Cruise Holidays 2012 Cruise Trends survey came out, listing the top 10 cruise destinations. According to the findings, the top cruise destination is the Caribbean, with 59.88 percent of bookings.

Hawaii secured a measly 2.78 percent of bookings, but it was enough to make the top 10 list.

Where on the list did Hawaii fall?

A. Tenth.

B. Seventh.

C. Fifth.

D. Third.

See answers, page 29

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Shut up already!

Super Bad News

TIME IS RUNNING OUT For those of you who pay attention to how the Maui County Council does its business, who stay up on the news and think about the problems–and promise–of the town you live in and who somehow find the time in a busy week (and summon the courage) to visit a County Council hearing and actually speak in front of the dais, audience and television cameras, you will now have even less time to say whatever it is you wish to say.

That’s right–no more three minute speeches with an additional minute to wrap-up.

That’s because on Friday, Jan. 6, the council voted 8-0 (Mike Victorino was excused) to allow council committee chairpersons the ability to set up new, shorter time limits, if there are a lot of citizens who showed up to speak. According to a Maui News story published the next day, councilmembers said that so many people have been showing up to speak on various agenda items that hearings often go into extra innings or the council ends up not having enough time to complete its regularly scheduled business.

I suppose I’m supposed to be sad that our elected officials are further constricting an already narrow path for citizen participation in government, but what’s the use? You don’t need to attend many county council hearings to conclude that the Public Comment portion is a mere formality–a creaky old ritual that those in power go through so they can say with grave seriousness that they listened to all sides and all opinions before rendering a thoughtful judgment.

This is nonsense. Officials, briefed by staff reports, site visits, confidential legal opinions and personal visits from lobbyists, land-owners and corporate bosses, make their decisions before public hearings, not after. It does not, in the end, matter whether citizens speak for four minutes apiece or three or even one. And this has been true for many years, as this excerpt from the 1985 book Land and Power in Hawaii by George Cooper and Gavan

Daws shows: “In 1980 the Honolulu Advertiser reporter on Maui, Edwin I. Tanji [who later became city editor of The Maui News] attended a Planning Commission hearing on Makena Surf,” Cooper and Daws wrote. “He noted that of 25 who testified, 23 spoke against the project, but the matter was approved.

Tanji concluded that ‘if a Maui Planning Commission decision on the Makena Surf condominium project is typical, public testimony in contested case hearings before the commission means nothing.’”

REAL ID REACHES HAWAII “When a place gets crowded enough to require ID’s,” sci-fi author Robert A. Heinlein noted in 1973, “social collapse is not far away.”

To be very conservative, Heinlein’s “social collapse” seems to have occurred in 2005, when the U.S Congress passed the Real ID Act, one of many post 9/11 nation-

al security laws which was promoted as a way to make America safer but in reality amounted to little more than yet another way federal bureaucrats could make everyday transactions more of a hassle. A loose coalition of liberal and libertarian voices denounced the Real ID Act as at best a waste, and at worst a violation of civil liberties: the Cato Institute, American Civil Liberties Union, the AFL-CIO, Gun Owners of America and even the ultra-conservative evangelical Pat Robertson.

The act passed anyway. And now starting March 5, all U.S. citizens, naturalized and native, getting or renewing the Hawaii state driver’s license will require even more documentation and paperwork to prove citizenship, reported The Maui News on Jan. 9.

Now applicants will need to show a Social Security card as well as a birth certificate or passport or other such documents.

“At some point in the near future, all U.S. citizens will need a compliant Real ID for air travel within the United States,” state Department of Transporta-

Overheard “She could have an overactive bladder because of her FUPA.” Guy talking in Paia, Jan. 6

tion spokesman Dan Meisenzahl told the News. “We have to make sure Hawaii and its residents are prepared.”

Given that it’s taken nearly seven years to get even this far, Meisenzahl’s “near future” could be another decade away.

IRONY ALERT! And now for something completely unexpected. Just one day after our Jan. 5 issue came out, we received two phone calls from irate readers. They were shocked– SHOCKED!–at the content of this week’s Overheard, the tiny column that contains a brief quote and the barest identifying details of the speaker, which runs each week in the paper’s print version (usually tucked beneath this very column). The quotes, which usually lack context, are often humorous. The Jan. 5 Overheard, however, leaned more towards brutality: “I feel like a black person at the back of the bus.” -Older woman at Wailea Beach, after being denied a front row beach chair, Dec. 30 The quote, even to a casual reader, is appalling. Which is exactly what moved two readers to call us: “We thought it was in bad taste,” said Brian, who identified himself as an AfricanAmerican and said he would not read the paper anymore because of the quote.

Of course we agree with Brian that the quote is in bad taste. It is disgusting, absurd and insulting, and trivializes the countless brave individuals who bled and died (and still do) in their fight for equality under the law.

But Brian and the other reader have entirely missed the point. Our running the quote was meant to bring attention to the vileness of the quote, and the fact that there are still people out there thinking and saying things like that, not to excuse it. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1530n1

JANUARY 12, 2012

5

NEWS&VIEWS

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

BY JEN RUSSO

JAPANESE CULTURAL SOCIETY TO HONOR TWO The Japanese Cultural Society of Maui will hold its annual Shinnen Enkai at the Elleair Rainbow Room at Maui Beach Hotel on Jan. 28. During this annual Japanese celebration and observation of the new year, the Japanese Cultural Society will also recognize their annual Nihon Bunka Awardees for 2012.

This year Hiroshi Arisumi and the Reverend Torako Arine will be honored for preserving and promoting the Japanese culture. Arine, 97, is the leader of the Maui Jinsha Shinto Shrine, the only one remaining out of six which served the Japanese community. Arine became a priestess when her husband Masao Arine,who was the former reverend, passed away in 1972. She holds the New Year’s and Au-

Hiroshi Arisumi

to wear kimono (to schedule a kimono dressing call Kay Fukumoto at 283-9999).

The Japanese Cultural Society has been active for more than 40 years. Through educational programs and cultural events, such as the Shinnen Enkai and Maui Matsuri, they promote the Japanese culture.

The society puts on the Shinnen Enkai every January.

They have service projects, like the cleaning of the Japanese gardens in Kepaniwai, and the annual Maui Matsuri each May, in addition to sponsoring various general membership meetings where they teach about different aspects of the Japanese culture. JCS was the 501(c)(3) nonprofit for Aloha Initiative.

The Jan. 28 event will also have a silent auction with proceeds to go towards the club’s various projects. To make a donation, call Sarajean Tokunaga at 280-9810. The Shinnen Enkai will begin at 5pm. with the otoso with no-host cocktail hour to follow. Dinner is scheduled for 6pm. Cost for the buffet dinner is $45, $20 for children ages 6-10, and free for children ages 5 and under. Tickets are available through the Maui Box Shop and Credit Associates in Wailuku, Party Paradise in the Maui Mall and Sanrio at Queen Ka’ahumanu Center.

KILAKILA MARRIES ALTRES

tumn Festival celebrations and leads a Japanese language service every first Sunday of the month. Thanks to Arine, the Great Autumn Festival continues to this day and showcases many aspects of Japanese culture.

Arisumi has been a community leader when it comes to promoting friendly relations, cultural exchanges and mutual understanding between Japan and the United States. As a WWII veteran and a surviving member of the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, he supported the effort to establish the Nisei Veterans Memorial Center on Maui from its planning stages in 1985 through to its opening in 2006. As President of the center, he continues to teach the public and youth about the sacrifices made by the Nisei soldiers during the war.

“The Shinnen Enkai for the Japanese Cultural Society is a formal new year’s celebration with traditional otoso [sake welcome] served,” said Lynn Araki-Regan of ArakiRegan and Associates. “What’s nice about this annual event is that many women use this as an opportunity to wear their formal kimono. It’s a very colorful, cultural evening, as a result.”

The Japanese Cultural Society of Maui will be on hand to dress attendees who wish

Companies are always looking for an edge to make it in today’s unsteady economic climate. A recent merger between Maui-based KilaKila Employer Services and Oahu’s Altres aims to assist Maui businesses with tools they need to get ahead. Kilakila, founded in 1997 by Carole Kooy, provides payroll, insurance, health insurance coverage and Human Resources support. Altres was started in 1969, and expanded to California, Arizona and Utah in 1988. By 2000 it was named the top professional employer organization in America by ProEmp Journal.

“My father, Bill Guss, founded the company in 1969 as a staffing services company in Hawaii,” said Barron Guss, Altres’ president and CEO. “I joined him in 1980 with just a handful of employees and was involved in everything from working on temporary assignments for clients to managing the operations for the company. In 1981, we created the first professional employer organization (PEO) in the state to provide outsourced human resources administration services such as payroll, employee benefits administration, human resources,, and compliance to local businesses. Since then, we’ve grown to 145 employees with multiple offices on Oahu, the Big B Island, and now Maui.”

Barron Guss & Carole Kooy With the merger, Maui clients of Kilakila will gain access to the HR Symphony cloud-based payroll and HR Information system that Altres launched in 2011.

“Employers need more technology to run their business efficiently and are seeking out these tools,” said Kooy, Vice President of Kilakila. “For example, we have quite a few clients in the solar industry where demand has exploded.

They need technology to help them run their business throughout the island and the state. They’re expanding their workforce so they’re looking for online access to track employees, hours, and projects to stay on top of things.”

In 2009, Altres lunched simplicityHR, which offered

Kanaha Park + You = Good Times

businesses different tiers of HR administration services, which had not been seen before in the industry.

“Employers are recognizing that we are not going to go back to the way things were,” said Guss. “This is where we start rebuilding. I’m seeing the economy starting to pick up with increased activity and new opportunities. New businesses are cropping up and hiring employees. This renewed activity shows a growing interest in our staffing and HR services from entrepreneurs who recognize that times are different, and they need to do business differently.”

TWEET of the WEEK “LL: SHOPO endorse very important.

This gets us off and running into 2012. Support of ppl who put lives on line for us all is HUGE.”

6

JANUARY 12, 2012

-@lingle2012 (U.S. Senate candidate Linda Lingle), Jan. 9

KANAHA PARK NEEDS YOU! The Keep the Hawaiian Island Beautiful Kanaha clean up is slated for Jan. 21. The organization is looking for donations of food and trucks, but most of all folks that can volunteer to clean up the area. Meet at 8:30am at the park. All the supplies necessary will be provided. Kanaha is one of Maui’s treasured shorelines with natural sand dunes, wetlands and recreational areas for everybody. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1530n2

NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

INTELLIGENT DESIGN If the male nursery web spider were a human, he would be sternly denounced as a vulgar cad. Researcher Maria Jose Albo of Denmark’s Aarhus University told Live Science in November that the spiders typically obtain sex by making valuable “gifts” to females (usually, high-nutrition insects wrapped in silk), but if lacking resources, a male cleverly packages a fake gift (usually a piece of flower) also in silk but confoundingly wound so as to distract her as she unwraps it–and then mounts her before she discovers the hoax. Albo also found that the male is not above playing dead to coax the female into relaxing her guard as she approaches the “carcass”–only to be jumped from behind for sex.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS Son Theodore Zimmick and two other relatives filed a lawsuit in November against the St. Stanislaus cemetery in Pittsburgh for the unprofessional burial of Theodore’s mother, Agnes, in 2009. Agnes had purchased an 11-by-8-foot plot in 1945, but when she finally passed away, the graveyard had become so crowded that, according to the lawsuit, workers were forced to dig such a small hole that they had to jump up and down on the casket and whack it with poles to fit it into the space.

DUTCH TV RULES The two hosts of the Dutch TV show Guinea Pigs apparently followed through on their plans in December to eat pieces of each other (fried in sunflower oil) in order to describe the taste. Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno underwent surgery to have small chunks removed for cooking, with Zeno perhaps faring worse (a piece of Storm’s “bottom”) compared to Storm (who got part of Zeno’s abdomen).

PILATES AND IMPLANTS DON’T MIX A December New England Journal of Medicine report described a woman’s “losing” her breast implant during a Pilates movement called the Valsalva (which involves breathholding while “bearing down”). The woman said she felt no pain or shortness of breath but suddenly noticed that her implant was gone.

Doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore discovered that, because of the woman’s recent heart surgery, the muscles between the ribs had loosened, and the implant had merely passed through a rib opening. They returned it to its proper place.

CONVOLUTED PLANS A balaclava-wearing man “kidnapped” Julian Buchwald and his girlfriend in 2008 in Australia’s Alpine National Park as they were picnicking. The man separated the couple, tore their clothes off and buried them, but Buchwald escaped and rescued the girlfriend, and they wandered around naked for days before being rescued. The balaclava-clad man, it turns out, was Buchwald, whose plan was to convince the woman by his heroism that she should

marry him (and more immediately, to have sex even though they had both pledged to remain virgins until marriage). Buchwald was convicted in Victoria County Court and sentenced in December to more than seven years in prison.

PEOPLE WITH ISSUES Prominent Birmingham, Ala., politician Bill Johnson describes his wife as “the most beautiful woman in the world,” but he revealed in December that, while on temporary duty recently as an earthquake relief specialist in New Zealand, he had clandestinely donated sperm to nine women (and that three were already pregnant). Becoming a biological father is “a need that I have,” he told a New Zealand Herald reporter, and his wife had been unable to accommodate him. Asked if his wife knew of the nine women, Johnson said, “She does now.” Indeed, Alabama newspapers quickly picked up the story, and Mrs. Johnson told the Mobile Press-Register that there is “healing to do.”

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the guy who tried to steal my blue nose brindle pitbull: Who do you think you are to try and steal my dog right out of my blue Honda Civic when it was at the Tesoro gas station in North Kihei. You sure do have some balls to open my car door and snatch my dog while I had run in to grab chips and a drink. I’ve never felt soo panicked–I screamed her name, hoping that she would run up to me. Thankfully she somehow escaped and ended up back at home just a few minutes later, with only a cut on her paw.

I hope horrible Karma befalls you and something similar happens to you so you can get a taste of that kind of panic and heartache I went through. Clearly, you chose the wrong dog to steal that day. ■

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS The unidentified eyeglass-wearing robber of an HSBC Bank in Long Island City, N.Y., in December fled empty-handed and was being sought. Armed with a pistol and impatient with a slow teller, the man fired a shot into the ceiling to emphasize his seriousness. However, according to a police report, the gunshot seemed to panic him as much as it did the others in the bank, and he immediately ran out the door and jumped into a waiting vehicle.

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

RECURRING THEMES James Ward’s second annual festival of tedium (the “Boring conference”), in November at York Hall in east London, once again sold out, demonstrating the intrinsic excitement created by yawn-inducing subject matter. Last year’s conference featured a man’s discourse on the color and materials of his neckwear collection and another’s structured milk-tasting, patterned after a wine-tasting. This second edition showcased a history of the electric hand-dryer and a seminar on the square root of two.

NO LONGER WEIRD? One would think that classical musicians who carry precious violins, worth small fortunes, on public transportation would be especially vigilant to safeguard them. But from time to time (for example, in 2008, 2009, 2010 and May 2011), absentmindedness prevailed.

Most recently, in December, student MuChen Hsieh, 19, accompanying a 176-year-old violin (on loan from a foundation in Taiwan and worth about $170,000) on a bus ride from Boston to Philadelphia, forgot to check the overhead rack when departing and left without it. Fortunately, a bus company cleaner turned it in. (Most famously, in 1999, the master cellist Yo Yo Ma left his instrument in the trunk of a New York City taxicab.) ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1530n3

JANUARY 12, 2012

7

This Land is M y Land,

Joseph “Sonny” Manaois inside his home.

The condemnation of Maui’s Happy Valley shanty town; and how in it you’ll find

Hawai’i.

PHOTOS BY SCRAPPERS

“Our people are in great, great danger now... / Cry for the gods / Cry for the people / Cry for the lands that were taken away / And in it you’ll find Hawaii” - from “Hawaii ‘78,” a song made famous by Israel Kamakawiwoole

A PEOPLE OF SEA, SOIL AND SKY

J

oseph “Sonny” Manaois, Jr. has fisherman eyes–the patient kind that see far and wide. He lives alone in a sturdy 16’ by 18’ cabin, open-beamed with bare plyboard walls and floor. “It’s just a bachelor’s house, a farm house,” he says–part proud, part apologetic.

Outside, his home’s paneling is painted crisp off-white and dappled with monkeypod shade. His roof’s Haleakala-facing corners are flanked with big old fishing buoys, orange orbs

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JANUARY 12, 2012

by

Anu Yagi

suspended like tattered twin suns cradled in macrame cord.

Inside, under burgundy curtains, green mesh tarp is carefully stretched as screen across his windows, diffusing the daylight rose and chartreuse. His light at night is a kerosene lamp (because a generator, he says, “is too loud–I don’t want to disturb the neighbors”) which sits on a two-by-four railing, next to his bed that’s just a twin mattress atop a lawn chair.

And from his front door–if you look Southwest, past the hodgepodge accoutrements characteristic of many Hawaiian yards (barrels, tires, rings of chicken wire hung from branches to grow Pele’s Hair, milk crates, a yellow longboard, cinderblocks, tarp-covered piles of who-knows-what, a red muscle car...)–you’ll see Sonny’s burgeoning farm.

About a hundred banana trees (of several varieties, including the prized variegated banana) grow as a wall around whatever Sonny can eke from the parched ‘Iao streamside that was once

a rich river delta. Walking along the rows, he perspires under the morning glare and points out each crop: eggplant, papaya, okra, pumpkin, bitter melon, tomato and dry-land taro.

“I plant every one by hand, dug every hole,” he says.

“When I started out [three years ago], my health wasn’t so good. When I started this project I was 385 pounds.” Then he laughs and looks down to where a bigger belly once was.

Sonny pulls at his knits collar to reveal the contrast of his developing farmers’ tan–or rather how, under his shirt, his once all-over auburn is fading. See, Sonny wasn’t always a farmer.

“For 30 years, I fished. I grew up fishing... It’s my life,” he says.

Born in Hana in 1954–five years before Hawaii’s statehood–Sonny grew up learning to reap the bounty of Hawaiian waters. He camped in Waianapanapa’s caves before the State Park cabins were built, dove for lobster and remembers when the whole town descended on Hana Bay as the waters ran red with fish.

When asked what happened to his family land in Hana, Sonny says, “The state stole ‘em. The state and Hana Ranch...

I come from an ahupua’a–56,000 acres–that stretched from Hana Bay to Kapipi Gulch. That’s how big it was.”

Sonny and his family moved to Wailuku in the mid 1960s.

“I then grew up on Wells Street, in Wailuku Town,” he says.

“I know all the back streets,” his laugh this time has a mischievous sparkle. “But I’m a country boy, you know? My classroom in Hana [had] 16 students. Then I came to a class in ‘Iao School and there were 500 students,” Sonny says. “I graduated from Baldwin High [in 1972].”

Still, fishing was his life–as it was the life for many young local men, then–and he talks about having worked at an old fish shack in Kihei, in the ‘80s. “Cut so much fish, their scales were growing on us,” he laughs, touching his forearm.

This Land is Your Land.

But fishing today is nothing like what it used to be, and Sonny simply can’t afford to practice his passion as a way of life anymore.

It’s because of pollution. Over-harvesting. Invasive species. Fish are scarce now, so harvesting rules are more stringent. Never mind that operational costs are now exorbitant.

If your boat’s engine breaks, a new one will cost you $30,000, Sonny says. And just to fill your fuel tank will run around $1,000, plus the purchase of ice (about 40 bags) that’ll last a trip long enough to make fishing worth your while.

So instead, Sonny farms. In part because it’s good for body and soil, and in part because he has to. “I’m learning,” he says. “Little bit at a time... But my dream would be to return to my ocean and feed the people.”

When Sonny laughs or speaks about simple facts, his voice is full, round and distinct. But whenever he speaks about anything tied to emotion–the battle for land and lifestyle since the 1893 overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii, the oroburous of human existence–he’s all stifling quivering lips.

It’s hard to hear him, but Sonny is telling me about his kupuna’s wisdom, about his personal path in life, his movement “from the ocean, to the land, and then–” he motions gently upward. “My journey is almost complete,” he says. And I tremble, too.

Later, I can’t help but reflect on of one of my favorite passages, from INTERESTING RUINS in Mark Twain’s Roughing It. “Near by is an interesting ruin–the meagre remains of an ancient heathen temple–a place where human sacrifices were offered up in those old bygone days when the simple child of nature, yielding momentarily to sin when sorely tempted, acknowledged his error when calm reflection had shown it him, and came forward with noble frankness and offered up his grandmother as an atoning sacrifice–in those old days when the luckless sinner could keep on cleansing his conscience and achieving periodical happiness as long as his

relations held out; long, long before the missionaries braved a thousand privations to come and make them permanently miserable by telling them how beautiful and how blissful a place heaven is, and how nearly impossible it is to get there; and showed the poor native how dreary a place perdition is and what unnecessarily liberal facilities there are for going to it; showed him how, in his ignorance he had gone and fooled away all his kinfolks to no purpose; showed him what rapture it is to work all day long for fifty cents to buy food for next day with, as compared with fishing for pastime and lolling in the shade through eternal Summer, and eating the bounty that nobody labored to provide but Nature. How sad it is to think of the multitudes who have gone to their graves in this beautiful island and never knew there was a hell!”

And call it ethnic ego (or whatever), but I’d like to think he intended that INTERESTING RUINS pay subtle homage to kanaka cadence. After all, he described, “The native language is soft and liquid and flexible and in every way efficient and satisfactory–till you get mad; then there you are; there isn’t anything in it to swear with.”

Ha! Shit, I can’t help but then wonder how I’d have gotten by back then. Oh, right. I could never have been back then because I am the product of back then; and all the thens before and between.

So, now, even standing in Sonny’s sweet home and farm– with the alive bite of his labor hanging on the cool breeze; between the shadow of Haleakala and the light of ‘Iao Valley– I’m again overwhelmed by the creeping, sick feeling that has haunted me lately.

Because for all Hawaii’s beauty, all those thens have amounted to a very heartbreaking now...

TROUBLE IN RIVER SHANTY

S

onny lives a hard, simple life that’s in myriad ways idyllically reminiscent of a bygone Hawaiian lifestyle. But there’s trouble. Big trouble.

Sonny is just one of around 100 “shanty town” residents who face eviction for inhabiting a 34.24-acre parcel of land–the site of the old Wailuku Sugar Company millyard–between Happy Valley’s Pi‘ihana Road and the remains of the ‘Iao river. Most of the residents have lived there for years in hand-built cabins like Sonny’s.

But neither Sonny nor any other of the 100 residents actually own the property in question; at least, not according to county and state records.

According to a complaint filed on June 2, 2011 by the county’s Corporation Counsel, the problem began back in 2006 and 2007, a notice of violation for “engage[ment] in non-agricultural activities,” issued by the County of Maui’s Zoning Administration and Enforcement Division and served upon the property owners of record, Kehalani Holdings Company, Inc. (that in 2005 merged with Delaware corporation Hawaii Land & Farming Company, Inc., formerly known as C. Brewer Homes, Inc., and which in 1993 acquired the property by Warranty Deed from Hawaii corporation C. Brewer and Company, Limited).

The complaint states that the accrued fines for this violation, as of June 1, 2011, is $1,254,000–with an additional $100 daily fine added to that sum ever since.

But that’s just one of three violations against Kehalani, which is owned by Stanford Carr.

A 2008 building code violation (for “illegal dwellings on the property”) and housing code violation (“as shack dwellings, dog and chicken pens and junk cars were on the property without permits”)–both appealed by Kehalani but dismissed with prejudice–have respectively accrued fines of $905,500 and $932,200 as of June 1, 2011; and to each, $1,000 daily fines are mounting.

A preliminary hearing was held on Thursday, December.

30, and by the next court date on Thursday, January 19, the fines for these three violations will total $3,578,900.

The total assessed value of the land, according to the County

Continued on page 10

Happy Valley’s shanty town overlooking Haleki’i-Pihana Heiau State Monument.

JANUARY 12, 2012

9

Riding in the back of uncle Sonny’s truck as he shows us all the food he’s growing.

Continued from page 9 of Maui’s Real Property Tax Division website, is just $1,182,700.

In Kehalani’s answer to the county’s complaint, their general defense contends that if the county “suffered or sustained damages as alleged in the Complaint, such damages, if any, were proximately caused and were a consequence of the conduct, actions, omissions, negligence or intentional conduct of other persons or entities and were in no way the responsibility of Kehalani... Kehalani gives notice that it intends to reply upon the defense that liability to Plaintiff, if any, is due to that of persons and/or entities other than Kehalani.”

I first meet Sonny–and about 40 other “shanty town” residents–at the preliminary hearing on Dec. 30. Until then, all were but John and Jane Does 1-100, summoned by publication; so not much more was accomplished at the hearing but identifying as many residents as possible.

But of the dozens in attendance, only 16 went on record to affiliate themselves with the case. The rest remain unattached, and will have to face whatever ruling comes down without right of appeal.

The reason for their hesitance–and utter resistance, in some cases–is their leadership; primarily a pair who announce themselves as “Her Majesty Akahi Wahine” and her haole knight “Sir Edward,” who’ve instructed those there not to cross “the bar” in the courtroom. Amidst the murmuring in the courtroom, I heard the residents’ misinformed fears include “losing their rights” and even “being shot on the spot.” It’s a twisted rationale that edges on superstition.

Of those who did go forward, David Acedillo and Sonny were among the first. David turned around to address his lingering fellows. “What? You guys all leaving me now?”

The woman in the seat ahead of me turned around to address the man at my right. “Uncle, what should I do?”

He told her to stay put. and she did.

Judge Joseph Cardoza’s patient compassion deserved a medal. Realizing there was an apparent lack of understanding about court protocol, he courteously implored that the residents come forward for the record.

Some of those still unconvinced decided (as some sort of compromise) to shout their name from their seats at back.

When “Her Majesty” (who, too, remained behind “under duress”) attempted to present Judge Cardoza with a document from “The Kingdom of Hawaii” in defense of those residing on the property, Martin Luna, one of Kehalani’s

10

JANUARY 12, 2012

defense attorneys, objected that it not be entered into evidence. Cardoza replied that nothing was being entered into evidence and that he’s simply making it known that he was presented with an un-filed document.

(Later, when I review the case file, I find this “Kingdom” document almost entirely nonsensical, printed on thick beige cardstock, in full color with every other paragraph written in red, bold, italicized font. At the end, it’s signed with a gold glitter pen next to a gold embossed sticker.)

The scene is so fascinating and strange, I left the courtroom shaking.

Outside, I tried to escape the sick feeling that’s crept steadily into my heart by dragging deeply on cigarette after cigarette, meanwhile making the acquaintance of folks like David and Sonny.

“Sir Edward” then called the group together for an informal debriefing. But first, he turned to Susan Halas, a reporter who’s been covering the story for Maui Now and who first tipped me off to the story.

“Excuse me,” he said, “but we cannot have any journalists here at this time... You will get your interview, but now you must disperse of your presence.” Susan backed off respectfully, but I did not. “That goes for you, too, young lady,” he said.

“Why?” I said, surprised by my defiant tone.

“This is a meeting just for us, OK?” Against my nature, I burst into tears and babbled about how important this issue is to me–as a human, and further as kanaka maoli–and that I want to help by telling an honest story.

Uncles and aunties rushed to console me. I told them that if they wished that I leave, I would, but I don’t want to go anywhere.

“Sir Edward” asks, “Are you kanaka? Are you kanaka?”

“Obviously?!” I bawled, grabbing at my thick Polynesian fro, all the wilder in the wind (and once was undeniably Hawaiian when it cascaded well past my ass, but now is only shoulder length after four rounds of chemotherapy, two years ago).

“Well, I thought you were a haole! You look like a haole!” he said.

Funny thing is: he sure fuckin’ looks haole. Curly silver hair, dated sunglasses, a creme silk camp shirt tucked into kahaki slacks, a watch worn to impress...

I was about to shout that it shouldn’t–it doesn’t–matter anyway. And hell, I’m a member of the press and it’s a public

place and– “I’m sorry I made you cry,” he said. And the meeting began.

“OK,” he said. “We don’t have much time. Her Majesty and I have another meeting... I know I’m a haole, but I’m from Israel.”

He proceeded to ask the shanty town residents for money to cover the expenses of their defense. What defense, exactly, I’m not quite sure. And in an attempt to display authority, he produced from his pocket a “diplomatic passport issued by the Kingdom of Hawaii,” saying it was accepted by the Russian government.

Later, a man asked, “Where can I get one of those things?”

“Well do you have any money?”

“How much would it cost?”

“Well, we’re not there yet, but it will be about $50. But you’re not a diplomat. Are you a diplomat? No. I am.”

I turned away. Later, “Sir Edward” again apologized for “making me cry” and again said that I “look haole” and then chastised me for smoking.

“Yeah, well, you get cancer and die anyway,” I smiled.

Then he offered me a job as a journalist for the “Kingdom.”

I said nothing in reply.

As I left, a nice old auntie approached me. “I jus’ like say, good fo’ you fo’ standing up, yeah. Dat is true kanaka.”

She hugged me, and the sick feeling inside me was momentarily washed away. Exchanging pleasantries and commenting on the day’s fierce wind, we walked home together from the court house. Because I live and love and labor in Happy Valley, too–just a stone’s throw away from the “shanty town” in question.

CONDEMNATION

L

ater, “Sir” Edward Cooper and Grace Gushigan–aka “Her Majesty Akahi Wahine”–hold a meeting, one of many semi-regular gatherings held with residents at the Pi‘ihana property outside Sonny’s house. Over 40 attend, plus a half dozen keiki. Some sit or stand close and nod approvingly, others stand back, arms folded, looking incredulous.

Cooper begins to speak, but “Her Majesty” stops him, saying that “We going puli before we start.”

Cooper says, “I’m going to have someone else do it. [Someone suggests Jimmy Russ.] C’mon, Jimmy. You do it.”

The group holds hands in a large circle, and Jimmy leads the prayer: “Father we thank you for this time. We thank you

for your wisdom and your strength. We ask you to intervene into this situation here. We ask that you touch the hearts of the people here; give them hope. We pray and thank you for your many blessings; your power to do healing and miracles.

We ask that you guide us, and open eveyone’s heart here to receive you. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Then Cooper whistles loudly, “Timing is important... I don’t want to yell. I already have a sore throat from that. All of you were in court the other day? So you all know or have seen one of these documents? Do you have it with you?”

He’s referring to a notice of eviction, mailed to only those who identified themselves at the previous week’s hearing.

David Legsay says he received it, but didn’t bring it with him.

Cooper’s frustration grows. “Well when you come to this type of meeting, people, bring the evidence that you have,” he says. “Without evidence, I’m not a miracle worker–only God is.”

“I thought was a meeting. We all get the same thing, eh?”

David replies.

“I don’t know,” says Cooper. “Some people got some things and other people got other things. Are you the Kehalani Holdings Company?”

“Me?” “No, I’m talking to the tree over there! C’mon, of course I’m talking to you,” says Cooper.

Someone in the crowd says it’s “time to move on.”

So Gushigan intervenes. “Our time is limited because we have a 6 o’clock meeting right after this,” she says. “We need you guys attention and you guys respond. Time is an essence in this. You guys get ‘til January 19 to answer. We gotta put together the papers before January 19. No later or you guys going be found default.”

Cooper then shouts, “I need to know exactly who is on

of you has to, be submitted a document of your defense. When you go to court with it, it’s a document that you present that the court has an understanding in association with the Kingdom. And if you don’t have the document, you’re not going to be represented by the Kingdom. The Kingdom doesn’t mind doing the work, and we’re doing it practically for free by comparison to what a lawyer would charge. I am not an attorney but I studied law. And I’ve already put documents together... that defended the people in a trespassing case similar to that on Molokai. Immediately after we filed the rebuttal, the judge called the prosecuting attorney and said these guys have a case you better do something. And the plaintiff immediately called the people, the one who I was defending, and said, ‘Hey, let’s do a compromise.’ So that’s exactly what’s going to happen here.

We want to make sure that they understand that they cannot kick you out of this land ‘cause this land belongs to the Kingdom of Hawaii and the Kingdom gave you the authority to do whatever, to farm it and to do everything else. Free of charge!

But your freedom is not free. And you gotta start understanding that putting all these things together cost a fortune by comparison. The lawyer that charged them in Molokai was like $300,000. I’m not asking for $300,000. Nowhere near that.

All we’re asking for is at least $200-$300 per person because we have to give to you documents. [Someone in the crowd scoffs.] You can laugh, but if you do not have $200-$300, I cannot do a paper for you. Then you will lose out your money. You will lose out your home.”

The nonsense and doublespeak is staggering. There, again, is that sick feeling, creeping up from my toes and ankles, weakening my knees, wrenching my gut and strangling my heart. My breath is short, but I fumble in my purse for a cigarette anyway, as if it was a smokable sanity.

Residents have told me they’ve already given more than $3,000 to “Sir Edward” and “Her Majesty,” both for the right

“We’re talented people...We’re here to start to stand up for our rights and show our inheritance that we can stand together and work together and claim victory to our ‘aina.” this list. I need a list of everybody that is here who has been summoned.”

Cooper doesn’t seem to know anyone’s names.

So Stephanie Legsay, in an diplomatic attempt, starts to take roll call. “I’m going check off all the names that is on this list with who’s here.”

Cooper snaps back, “Well find out who’s who. This should have been done before, not now: And if you’re here today you’re already defaulted. Is there anyone who wasn’t in court that is here today? You? You, you, you? Then you all defaulted.”

A man pipes up, “What if I was in one oddah court on that same date–not for this but in one oddah court?”

“Let me explain you the problem here,” Cooper says.

“The problem is they want to evict all of you from this place because big corporations want to take it over. Now, you want to protect your homes, you want to protect your area.

Well, if you don’t give a damned shit about it then there’s nothing I can do.”

The man says again, “But I was in one oddah court–” Stephanie tries to mediate again, “He’s saying he was in a different court.”

Cooper dismisses this, “I understand. I saw you at court. I remember you.”

People in the crowd snicker subtly. Cooper doesn’t seem to know anyone’s faces, either.

Exasperated, he bellows, “We need those papers. That’s number one. Number two is the Kingdom of Hawaii is represented by Her Majesty and–excuse me [he turns to two little girls sitting at a picnic table]–can you lower your voice or play somewhere else? The Kingdom of Hawaii is going to put a rebuttal to defend your case. This is not easy. I’ve asked... to gather to get us money together because we have to, each one

to live on a property (that’s again, owned by Kehalani Holdings Company) and for their defense in court. Sonny would later tell me, he even sold his boat.

Thankfully, someone speaks up. Lorna Nahooikaika is livid, and tells Cooper “We like see the documents of the first payments.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Everybody wanna know because nobody’s seen anyting.”

Lorna says.

Gushigan attempts to explain, “There is researches waiting to be done pertaining to these documents. A lot of research has to be done on Oahu... It’s not something you can do just one day. It takes a lot of work. That’s why you folks have to come out to the meetings. A lot of times meetings were called and you guys, most of you guys weren’t present.

Would just be a handful sometimes. It’s important for you guys to come and be here and know what’s going on. You folks don’t come out here, we not going to you folks individually. If you guys think you get someone better to do the job, you guys better start doing it now because you guys get just to the 19th...

There’s a lot of you here, but there’s only Sir Edward and I to do paperwork and to do research. It’s not an easy thing where you guys can just go sit at a table and read one book. It doesn’t work like that. Sometimes it takes years. It took me seven years to do one document–it ain’t easy to do researches.

Some of you folks have never been there so you don’t know what it’s like.”

She then launches into a long, impassioned albeit repetitive speech, begging for unity, “We’re here to help you guys.

So unite and come together. You guys gotta come together to work together. One here, one there–scattered–that’s what

the government wants, to divide and conquer. We’re here to bring you guys together so we can work together as one....

Let’s get our minds and put our minds together. We’re talented people. I’m sure our ancestors did not bring us here on this earth today to be stupid. No. We’re here to start to stand up for our rights and show our inheritance that we can stand together and work together and claim victory to our ‘aina. You guys want the ‘aina you gotta work together, come together... Don’t cry when it’s to late. Now let’s come together and work together!”

“Her Majesty” is wearing a dark navy sheath dress, skeuomorphic gold buttons–a double-breasted illusion–hanging loosely. This alone warrants no second thought; but within the context of putting on imaginary monarchal airs, it seems calculated and slightly sad. Clearly, she has a deep care for the cause of her people. But I find myself wishing that–in some parallel universe–this is instead a truly defining moment; a queenly woman inspiring her people and making real change. But with all I’ve seen and read and heard, quite the opposite is happening...

Cooper then chimes in, “And don’t blame anybody else but yourselves for it. Now, your [Lorna’s] question: What you see here are the official, duly registered in the Bureau of Conveyances in Honolulu because the original Kingdom of Hawaii through a conveyance. Every square inch of the archipelago [he pronounces this a-shee-pe-lah-go] of Hawaii is duly registered under the Kingdom name. We own this land. The Kingdom of Hawaii owns this land. They cannot kick you out. But like Her Majesty said, you guys are all acting independents and also sitting comfortable in your chair. You want to see documents? All of these documents took seven and eight years to put together. You didn’t do it. Her Majesty did...

The queen has the power lock, stock and barrel. And that includes the royal seal. Without the royal seal, we cannot go to court. The document has to bear the royal seal. Without the royal seal, we can’t present anything. Another thing, when we go to court, do not cross the wooden bar. The moment you cross that wooden bar, you are on U.S. laws. When you’re on this side of the fence, you’re on kanaka maoli laws, the Kindgom law. Is that understood?

Putting these documents together is only part of what each of you will receive. This is $30 just for printing. So if I have to give each one of you–and your 30 or 40 or 50 people– hey, I have to put out of my pocket for you $30 or $40 per person...Because we also need to include treaties that we have with the Kingdom of Hawaii had with other governments.

It’s a big, thick file. How big was the other file? It was that thick,” he says, holding up fingers to indicate several inches.

“They’ll come one day bulldoze the whole thing and get you out of here,” Cooper says. “If that’s what you want, then tell me now so I don’t waste my time. I’m here to help you all, with Her Majesty... If you have the intent of going forward lift up your hand and we’ll work together. Let me see how many hands are up: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten–” he stops, and addresses a young girl–not more than twoor three-years-old, standing on the red muscle car in Sonny’s yard, proudly raising her hand. “Not you, young lady.”

Cooper and Gushigan must now jet off to their all-important next engagement, but not before he again asks for money, this time “at least $5,000.”

“I’m going to leave you with one word because I have to get going.” Cooper says. “I accepted to come here and represent the independence of this Kingdom for the sum of one symbolic dollar. I don’t want any money. I came here and I got my symbolic dollar. I got paid. When I die that symbolic dollar goes back to the museum of the Kingdom. I don’t need it. In the meantime, I’ve been here doing a lot of work to resurrect the Kingdom back to prosperity, to independence. If you guys want to stay on this land, then come forward and give money... And do it quickly because timing is of the essence.

To print out these documents may well take a week. If you don’t want to do it, then step backwards–and only those who come forward, we’ll defend. Thank you very much.”

And just before he leaves, “Sir Edward” pulls me aside.

“There are certain people that are against the Kingdom of Hawaii,” he whispers. “So when you write, you have to write that the Kingdom and the people–make your story in such a way that your words are an inspiration... Don’t talk about the Kingdom of Hawaii–Listen, I’ll guide you. That’s another

Continued on page 12

JANUARY 12, 2012

11

Continued from page 11 thing I need to talk to you about. The Kingdom is looking for a press attache. You should think about it. Good salary,” he says, nudging my elbow.

The people in this “shanty town” are being promised by the “Kingdom of Hawaii” healthcare, housing–”good houses–not shacks–no less than three bedroom, two bath”–and fully funded higher educations. It’s a beautiful dream, but when I ask where the money to pay for all this is coming from, the answer is “a humanitarian foundation that we cannot say the name of at this time. This foundation is very committed to us.”

And when I ask if this foundation can finance healthcare and homes and educations, why can’t it pay for proper legal defense, there is no answer.

SIR EGREGIOUS

B

ut for giving him the benefit of the doubt upon our introduction, I’ve refused to address Cooper as “Sir Edward.”

He eventually notices during a phone conversation last Friday, January. 6.

“Hello, this is Sir Edward.”

“Hello, Edward.”

“It’s SIR Edward–and if you address me by my proper title, I’ll do good work for you.”

believe in the promises of healthcare, housing and education. And, “a no tax nation,” as Cooper further describes. “No income tax, no sales tax, no road, um–the kingdom has the funding and the money to pay for things,” says Cooper adding that the Kingdom is completely self-financed. “This was a very critical week for us. My foundation is providing funding for the Kingdom. A lot of funding. In the billions... I’m not the owner but I’m the world representative. [But] it’s not to be published.”

“Not the what?”

“Not to put it in the story yet,” he says. “But remember what I said to you after the meeting? We’re looking for a press officer. A very good salary. Remember me telling you this?

“Right, well–” “I may hire you on a full time basis... Do you know how much your salary is?” Obviously I couldn’t possibly know what a pretend position would pretend to pay. “Would a quarter of a million dollars make you happy? Would you be happy with that?”

“No. That’s–” “You wouldn’t be happy with that?”

“That’s just far to much,” I laugh.

“What?”

“I mean, I’m employed by this paper,” I say, tapping the cover of a nearby MauiTime, “but I work for the Fourth Estate.”

“You would turn down the job?”

Here, here is Hawaii, now, in all its gallimaufery glory– every imaginable ethnicity, in every imaginable frock.

“Uh, sorry ‘bout that, Edward.”

I’d been waiting for him at Wailuku Coffee Company for a half hour (and would go on to wait a total of two hours), and he’s finally called to inform me he’s on his way from Kihei.

By the time they arrive, the setup for Wailuku First Friday is already in full swing. The streets are beginning to fill with pre-party hubbub, the air bristling with an electric din.

We’re about to begin when Cooper gets a call. It sounds like it’s going to take awhile, so Gushigan and I speak quietly to each other, mostly about our shared Okinawan heritage (well, sort of).

Again, I see a heartfelt passion for people and prosperity–but then there’s “Sir Edward” sitting beside her, on the phone, saying “We’ve secured the funding... I don’t care what you do. Pitch a tent if you have to...” among other troubling things.

In its complaint, the county says that “this Court has jurisdiction over the parties and subject matter, pursuant to Hawaii Revised Statutes 603-21.5 and 603-23,” and Kehalani’s answer states this indeed “set(s) forth legal conclusions to which no answer is required.”

However, it’s exactly this that offends those who believe in the authority of this self-appointed “Kingdom of Hawaii” (and it should be noted there are many others who make the claim, too, as there are upwards of 30 sovereignty groups, by some estimates).

The residents of the Happy Valley “shanty town” believe they are entitled to occupy the land because, as Gushigan explains, “[the Kingdom] issued letters of affirmation to individuals that are there, and we can revoke it at any time at which we choose... Giving them the authority to occupy parts of land. And the reason for that is for them to become sustainable off the land, reaping whatever they plant as a sustainable food for the table–for people or friends or whatever they need to do with the crop.” Many of the residents claim to have paid hundreds of dollars for these “letters of affirmation.”

They residents believe in these “letters” because they also

12

JANUARY 12, 2012

“Absolutely.”

“I’m not bribing you, don’t get me wrong. I’m saying to you if you ever want a permanent job with a good salary the Kingdom of Hawaii wants you to become, will offer you, this position as press attache.”

It’s all so absurd. A foundation with billions of dollars?

A $250,000 salary as a “press attache?” Meanwhile “Sir Edward” is asking 100 poor Hawaiians who live in shacks on derelict land to each give him hundreds of dollars.

When asked the name of the foundation and where the money comes from, Cooper says, “I cannot name it now. Listen, I cannot release the information yet. But I will in the next week. We’re going to have a whole team of professionals... We’re going to register people to provide free healthcare examinations. If need be, registering for housing. We have a plan to build 200,000 homes here. Good homes... I have put aside, for these homes alone, around $14-15 billion. Billion dollars... These homes are costing us around $60,000 each.

These are not going to be shacks... Electricity, sewer and everything else and we’ll pay for it accordingly... We have the machines to assemble these homes. It’s a fantastic system.

Very, very modern. They’re prefab, but they’re like celluloid.

They’re like the Rock of Gibraltar, OK?” “I like that,” I say. I like it not only because it’s an idiomatic expression meant to evoke the highest confidence, but because, as the BBC reports, in 2002 the U.K. and Spain were working to “[end] the centuries-old [sovereignty] dispute over the rock.” Ironic.

When asked about exactly how, logistically, the government is going to operate, there are few straight answers.

“Well, it will be built... Everything is going to be registered...

There are mandatory requirements... [If they don’t?] They have to. [Says who?] Says the Kingdom.” Eventually, exasperated he says, “The kingdom is an independent nation! The kingdom is going to have everything, OK?!”

When asked about the form of government–unicameral or bicameral, or if all decisions come by monarchal decree–Cooper says, “Look, I have to go over everything with you. This is not something that takes five minutes. I have to show you

everything it takes to set up a government.” When pressed, Cooper says “a democratic government,” just as Gushigan says “a monarchy.” Which one? “A democratic government with a symbolic monarchy,” Cooper clarifies. “There’s a system how to get there. But I cannot release the information,” Cooper says. “And you have to be very careful what you print because if you print something that would hamper–and we could get raided by the police for saying we’re trying to overthrow–we’re not trying to overthrow anybody.”

“OK, I’ll make that very clear,” I say. “You’re not trying to overthrow anybody. Verbatim. I will use that quote.”

“And we’re not here to kick anybody out,” he adds. “The kingdom can have very, very nice American people who’ve been here and were even born here. We don’t want to kick anybody out. We just want to the recognition of our kingdom a sovereign nation like we were before. ‘Cause the Apology Bill that Bill Clinton signed.”

Ah, the infamous Apology Bill. So misunderstood. Many Kingdom people believe this document gives Hawaii back to, um, somebody. It does not. It just says sorry.

Wailuku First Friday is now underway, and I stumble, sickened and dazed, into the sweet cacophony of my beloved Market Street and the sights and sounds of its monthly street fair.

A crowd has gathered around a Maui Taiko performance, and I am, for a moment, uplifted. Here, here is Hawaii, now, in all its gallimaufery glory–every imaginable ethnicity, in every imaginable frock, listening to a group of young Japanese Americans doing well by remembering their roots. And down the way, firecrackers and a Chinese lion dance; a beer garden benefit for a Hawaiian language program; a steel guitar player; a bevy of bands and food vendors...

But, then–that creeping sick feeling. I weave my way through the crowd, back to my office to clickety clack-away another sleepless night.

A quick Google search of “Her Majesty Akahi Wahine” reveals her previous strides for sovereignty, namely a 2008 story where she–and the then King Akahi Nui–about, as a Rome News piece titled,”impostors occupy [Iolani] palace”; and a subsequent report by TV’s Hawaii News Now where “the judge told defendants they’re placing themselves at a disadvantage if they don’t hire an attorney.”

As for Cooper, there’s very little but for a Consumer Watchdog blog based in Botswana, which details their dealings with “Sir Edward,” including his claims of being associated with a humanitarian foundation (which they name as Fundacion Donacions Humantarias), and report of his ties to another dubious organization called the “Pureheart Foundation.” “[H]e refused to say where the truly staggering amount of US$800 billion would come from. He couldn’t explain why a private donor would give a country twice its GDP as a gift,” writes Richard Harriman.

The blog also posted a reply from “Sir Edward” that called their reporting “blackmail [to] those who would bring prosperity to the multitude of humanitarian sufferings not only in South Africa, but in the rest of the world as well. By the way I herein include Botswana who thanks to you, will now be in last place for humanitarian funding.”

That sick feeling creeps, and this time, overwhelms me. I wake up on the floor. Everything is quieting now. The drums, the dragons, the steel guitar, the crowd–all gone now.

For a moment, all there is in my world is a rogue staple stuck in the short polypropylene pile that’s imprinting its weave into my cheek. I try focusing on the single point of the staple’s skyward-pointed bend; and meanwhile my mantra’s “in through the nose and out through the mouth.” Caught between exhilliartion and exhaustion, my jittering emotions give way to dry heaves.

I get up and try to write again–about these people, of my blood and in my town, who believe they’ve paid someone to help them defend their homes. But it’s hard to type when punching the wall, and all the while I cannot help but cry for my people. ■ anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1530L Comment on this story at mauitime.com

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Table To Farm Dining Outstanding in the Field Comes to Maui’s Kupa‘a Farm

BY JEN RUSSO

C

hef Jim Denevan was still at his Outstanding in the Field dinner on the Lake Meadow Naturals chicken farm, held on a lake under the full moon, when I got him on the phone.

You would think that after 10 years of doing these dinners around the world, with around 400 now under his belt, it would be business as usual, but Denevan seemed just as exhilarated as though this was his first.

“This dinner was so beautiful,” he said. “This is maybe the second time we have been on a chicken farm. Raising awareness about ethical treatment of raising animals is part of what we do. It was spectacular under the full moon.

People were so happy to be here.”

His message is simple, yet powerful. “I am on an evangelistic mission to popularize dining on the farm,” he said.

“It is a different way to appreciate local foods, ethical practices for raising animals, and farmers, by paying them for the site and their food, and showcasing it right at the table.”

On the mainland, Denevan uses a vintage bus to travel the country. When he finds a host farm (usually in some picturesque place), he walks the land and chooses a site for the dinner. Then he, his staff and a local guest chef set up a four-course farm soiree that’s served on white cloth-covered tables. Now, for the first time, he’s taking his Outstanding in the Field team to the islands where they will sup on tropical Hawaiian farmlands on Maui, Big Island, Kauai and Oahu, all with menus planned by our talented Hawaii chefs.

Denevan started the project in 1999 when people didn’t really give a damn about where their food was coming from.

“It was a struggle to popularize the dinners,” Denevan said.

“It didn’t really catch on until about 2007, when people were beginning to take an interest in local food and chefs were starting to put the name of the farms on their menus.”

The popularity of Michael Pollan’s books (most notably The Omnivore’s Dilemma) also helped. Denevan said that there were moments when he wanted to quit and the project was broke, but then his artwork–large scale drawings using the earth as a canvas–bailed him out and he was back at his table-to-farm message again.

Chef Jim Denevan

That's pretty outstanding and in a field

Denevan did his first farm dinner in his hometown of Santa Cruz, California in 1999. Denevan said that ticket sales back then were a struggle, but now he has a strong following. In 2011, Denevan’s team staged 87 dinners across North America from Vancouver to Virginia and, for the first time, in Europe.

His outdoor dinner season starts in May, but the dates and places are released at the beginning of March via his website http://outstandinginthefield.com/ where some of his better known locations and dinners can sell out in a mere five minutes. With the popularity of dinners increasing, he’s branched out and added off-season dinners at warmer winter locations, like this month’s Florida and Hawaii engagements.

From Orlando, Florida, the Outstanding in the Field team heads to the Kilohana Plantation in Lihue on Kauai. Their next stop is Maui, where farmers Gerry Ross and Jane Simpson will host the dinner at the Kupa’a coffee plantation. Denevan said that this is the first time Outstanding in the Field will be on a coffee farm, and the first time coffee will be served at one of his dinners. Denevan seems a Maui boy at heart, deciding on working as a chef so he could surf and make art during the day, but this will mark his first visit to Maui.

Naturally, he’s hoping for big winter swells.

Kupa’a Farm has won Best Maui Coffee at state cupping competitions, which Ross and Simpson–who are second generation farmers–attribute in part to their diverse coffee.

They grow several different varieties on their 14 acre farm, with four acres in cultivation. Ross and Simpson are eager to share the farm with dinner guests. In fact, they have a blooming shade tree that features a pink canopy of blossoms; guests will sit beneath it and next to a lilikoi trellis.

“We are spring cleaning here, but there are still going to be some rough spots,” Ross said. “After all, this is a farm.”

Ross joked that Simpson likes to say “Kupa’a is a vegetable farm that just happens to grow coffee,” but there is some truth to it. Besides their award-winning coffee, they grow mango, citrus, papaya, avocado and lilikoi. They also plant row crops that rotate between taro, garlic, beets, onions, lettuce and cabbage.

Ross has a remarkable and succinct outlook to farming. His farm is sustainable, organic and biodiverse. Ross and Simpson fight disease by growing cover crops that are

“It is a different way to appreciate local foods, ethical practices for raising animals, and farmers, by paying them for the site and their food, and showcasing it right at the table.”

Continued on page 17

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For the outer island line-up of farm dinners: January 14 ~ Kilohana Plantation, Lihue, Kauai ~ Guest chef: Aaron Leikam, 22 North, Lihue Host farmer Byrna Storch and guest chef Aaron Leikam share both a deep appreciation for fresh tropical ingredients.

Leikam will work with some of the best in the farm-to-table movement, including Rick Bayless, Jan Birnbaum and Melissa Kelly.

January 21 ~ Ma’o Organic Farms, Wai’anae, Oahu ~ Guest chef: Ed Kenney, Town and Downtown, Honolulu Farmer Gary & Kukui Maunakea-Forth are dedicated to organic farming and inspiring the next generation of young people to celebrate their connections to the land. Gary and guest chef Ed Kenney are great friends, and Ed’s son Duke does kids cooking demonstrations at Ma’o.

January 25 ~ Kekala Farms, Waimea, Hawaii ~ Guest chef: Edwin Goto, Village Burger, Kamuela Farmer Paul Johnston is a leader in the Hawaii local farms movement and grows more than 100 different kinds of vegetables at Kekala. Guest chef Edwin Goto recently opened his burger shack with all local meats and produce. Pairing up with a burger shack is a first for Outstanding in the Field.

non-hosts to plant pestilence. Their farm design reduces the erosion rate by 95 percent from when they obtained the land, and they’re also no longer contributing to run-off problems at the shoreline.

Of course, the agriculture industry comes with a lot of risk–what Mother Nature gives, she can also take away. Last year’s coffee production was down by half due to the horrible drought in Kula, while this year looks like a boon by comparison. Rampant mice populations in 2011 also took out a lot of product. “We could have used rodenticides, but I decided this was like any other cycle and we were going to just ride it out,” Ross said. He added that when he looks at his hard work and sees the beauty he has been able to create without damaging the environment, the benefits clearly outweigh the risks in farming. “My risk decreases when I create the farm’s ecosystem such that food is the byproduct,” he said.

In addition to the creation of a sustainable ecosystem, it’s their intimate relationship with the eater that keeps Kupa’a Farm going. “My job satisfaction is unbelievable,” Ross said.

“At the farmers’ market on Saturdays in front of Long’s, we sell out in a few hours. The feedback is not political or fickle.

People come to us and say, ‘Where are those green beans you had last week? They were the best we ever had.’ We have successfully developed a market with variations. We don’t have the same thing every week, because of our rotations, or the weather, but people keep coming back to us.” Kupa’a Farms also supports a community-backed agriculture subscription (CSA) service, and supplies Market Fresh Bistro and private chefs with their seasonal produce. (For more info on the farm, go to kupaafarms.org) While the farm host will provide the evening’s terroir,

ambiance and ingredients, it’s the guest chef who will be the ambassador of taste and presentation to the popup farm eating experience. For Maui diners, this will be Chef Justin Pardo of Market Fresh Bistro, a restaurant that has been ahead of the curve of the farm-to-table movement since they opened nearly three years ago.

For Chef Pardo, his passion for working with what Maui's got is palpable. Everyday after his lunch rush settles down, he opens the fridge to the locally sourced produce and proteins and writes the night's menu. Everyday it changes. The Bistro gets about three deliveries a week, and the kitchen does not have a walk-in. Pardo says this freshness makes all the difference in the quality of his food, which does not have to sit on a barge for a month from the mainland, Asia or South America.

"Those fruits and vegetables were picked so green.

Not at the peak of their ripeness," he says. "Sure it costs me $1 or $2 more per pound for the ingredients, but the taste makes all the difference. That is what my customer wants. And I ask you this, why can't the other restaurants and chefs do this? If I can do it in my small kitchen, where in between working on my line at breakfast and lunch I call and email farmers, why can't they do it?

America is lazy. But here on Maui we are small, we are a tight knit community, we can make a change."

Pardo hosts his own farm to table dinners twice a month where he features locally farmed ingredients.

Reservations are recommended. Pardo also says he has been working with Ross for years.

"When Outstanding in the Field chose me, I was so honored to join them," says Pardo. "The Fresh Market

Bistro has only been here two and a half years. I use 85 percent locally sourced products, and operate sustainably. The first year Maui No Ka Oi did their sustainable award we won it."

The menu for Tuesday's Kupa'a Farm dinner is exquisite: heirloom tomatoes, Fresh Market Bistro's housemade goat cheese made from local goat milk, spicecrusted fresh fish, locally sourced Berkshire pork and purple cauliflower will all charm farm goers tastebuds as they walk and eat among the plants that grew them.

Attendees to Denevan’s dinner are asked to bring their own plate, since it gives guests the feeling that they have brought something to the table. Ross will give a tour of the farm at the dinner and talk about his coffee production.

Pardo and Denevan will also talk about food culture and showcase the farmers’ bounty obtained in a sustainable organic fashion on the island, but the community table under the pink canopy of flowers will essentially be about tasting and eating what was grown just a few steps away.

The Hawaii dinners kick off Outstanding in the Field’s 13th season. The Hawaii events in January start at 3pm with a glass of wine and welcome hors d’oeuvres, followed by a tour of the host farm and a family-style, four-course meal paired with wines. Ticket price of $190 per person includes the farm tour, multi-course meal with wine and all gratuities. To learn more and reserve a seat at the Outstanding table, visit www.outstandinginthefield.com ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

Can you please pass the farm fresh water?

JANUARY 12, 2012

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PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, THUR RS SD DAY, JANUARY 12 SOLO SESSIONS WITH KUANA TORRES KAHELE - In 1995 Kuana Torres Kahele, with Kehau Tamure, formed the critically acclaimed duo Na Palapalai. They’re noted for their significant contributions to hula music, both for having revived traditional tunes as well as for their originals (Kahele’s original “Ke Anu O Waimea” is one of the most popular hula songs in Japan). This Thu., Kahele shares songs from his highly anticipated debut solo album (released last June), which include “compositions that tell of lost loves, world travels and life in small town Hilo.” $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 2424W (7469); ); mauiarts.org SHOW

2ND ANNUAL LANAI JAZZ FEST - Though this swingin’ three-day event starts tomorrow, we’re slating it in This Week’s Picks a day early so you have time to pack your bags and hop on the ferry. It all begins Fri., Jan 13 with a concert featuring Grammy winner Skip Martin (of Kool & The Gang fame), Benny Chong, Byron Yasui, David Choy, Benny Uyetake, Sal Godinez, Paul Marchetti and Doug Whit, from 6-9pm at Manele Bay Four Seasons. The big Festival Day runs 4-8pm at the Great Room at the Four Seasons Lodge at Koele, and wraps up with a morning of jazz on Sunday, Jan. 15 at Blue Ginger from 9am-12pm and The Lodge at Koele from 10am-12pm. Lanai Jazz Festival events are free and resort packages start at just $179 per night. Visit lanaijazzfestival.com for more information.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13 MAUIONSTAGE PRESENTS: “ONE HOT WINTER’S NIGHT” - This nostalgic burlesque show of “sexy, saucy and bawdy song and dance” features Lia Kreig, Casey Murphey, Jonna Ahn, Natalie Raynes, Patty Silva, Mark Bolden and the Kit Kat Cabaret. Plus, comedy by Chino LaForge and live music by the Iao Orchestra. But, hide your kids and hide your wife (actually, bring your wife with you), because this show’s only appropriate for folks 17-years-old and older. $15. 7:30pm.

Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 2428680; mauionstage.com

THE FREERADICALS PROJEKT CD RELEASE PARTY - We’ve waxed poetic about the Freeradicals before, and we’ll wax-on again (if my name isn’t Ms. Yagi!)–we think the Freeradicals Projekt’s neoteric funk fusion is irresistibly danceable, convivial synergy embodied. They’re debuting their inaugural release, Soul Fire, this Fri., and all da positive party people ought to be there. Advance tickets available online and at Requests (Wailuku), The Wine Corner (Paia), Choice Health Bar (Lahaina) and Stella Blues Cafe (Kihei). $15 presale. 9pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14 MOTHXP, THE THROWDOWNS, OWAILA & DJ BLAST - A prayer for radio personality Scotty D: “Dear God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the difference.” Why are we raggin’ on Scotty D? Because Scotty D is so old, he went into an antique shop and they tried to sell him... Scotty D is so old, he no longer has to worry about peer pressure... Scotty D is so old, the date on his birth certificate says “expired.” Kidding. If you were to really look at Scotty D’s birth certificate (or just looked on Facebook–but Scotty D’s so old he still uses Friendster), you’d know Scotty D’s only turning 40-years-old. And if we’d quit it with the bad old age jokes (hey, don’t blame us, blame The Internets), you’d know we actually really like Scotty D. Apparently, so do MOTHxp, The Throwdowns, Owaila and DJ Blast, who are all playing a big show for Scotty D’s big 4-O. $5 (because old people are cheap). 9pm1am. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com

MACEO, I WANT YOU TO BLOW! - Get on the good foot with a clone of Dr. Funkenstein, Maceo Parker. A pioneer (and still-innovator) of funk, Parker’s famed for his work with legends like James Brown and Parliament Funkadelic, and his percussive alto horn stylings will have you believing wind instruments have defected to the rhythm section. Pre-show dinner made available

by Makawao General Store. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 7:30pm. Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / maceo.com

SUNDAY, JANUARY 15 FREE SCREENING: “SURF’S UP” + SURF-ROCK BAND, SOUNDWAVE - This Sun., the Maui Arts & Cultural Center kicks-off a new free event series called “Starry Night Cinema,” co-presented by the Maui Film Festival and sponsored by the County of Maui. For their inaugural screening they’re showing Surf’s Up, a family friendly flick with animated penguins that parody movies like The Endless Summer and Riding Giants. That’s cool and whatever, but what’s really neat a e plays p ays prepe is that Jack Fisher’s surf-rock band SoundWave e show, and good-for-you-grinds will be made available by Rodeo General Store. Free..

5pm doors (and SoundWave concert)) / 6:30pm screening. Yokouchi Pavil-uion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MAUI BLACKIE PRESENTS STRAIGHTAHEAD JAZZ - Creating the perfect soundscape for cocktails and dancing, Chicago-based saxophonist Eric Schneider (formerly of the Count Basie Orchestra) visits Maui to perform in a special six-piece jazz ensemble, alongside Valley Islanders Gene Argel on Hammond B3 organ, Michael Buono on drums, Shiro Mori on guitar, Marcus Johnstone on bass and Shea Argel on vocals. Presented by Maui Blackie G Gadarian (“a jazz music aficionado and impresario w with a large repertoire of recorded jazz music”) and Sara Gadarian. Advance tickets available online. $ $15 advance / $20 door. 6:45pm doors / 7-10pm show. Timba (505 Front St., Lahaina) na); 667-7979; mauiblackie.com

MONDAY, JANUARY 16 MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY PEACE DAY MARCH - “I have a dream.” Everyone knows Mau Martin Luther King Jr.’s famous words, but the African American Heritage Foundation of Maui asks us to ask ourselves if “we remember the message?” In honor of the venerable MLK, anu Ave. the foundation hosts a peace march (commencing promptly at 11am) down Kaahumanu

TUESDAY, JANUARY 17 MY DOG HAS FLEAS! - Words can be weird. Just hearing the word “uku” makes ur your head itch, while the word “’ukulele” will make you itch to play that sweet little four string instrument that’s become synonymous with Hawaiian style music. If learning to e to play da uke has been an itch you just can’t scratch–because you don’t know where get started–visit the Lahaina Cannery Mall for their free ‘ukulele lessons, held everyy Tue. o rip If you’re worried your friends will make fun of you for not already knowing how to ing one mean version of “Pearly Shells,” no worries. This event’s kind of a touristy thing ee. (nonetheless a great way to grasp the basics), so no one will be the wiser. Free. ina5:45pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall (Honoapiilani Hwy.); 661-5304; lahainacannery.com / @LahainaCannery on Twitter

(beginning at UHMC) to Kahului’s Hoaloha Park (across from Burger King, next to First Hawaiian Bank). Following the march, at the park, festivities will ensue and a light lunch will be provided (no potluck items, please). Free. 11am. University of Hawaii College Maui (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 879-5313

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18 STAY CLASSY (AND HI), WAILEA - Every Wed. The Shops at Wailea hosts WOW! (Wailea on Wednesdays!), which features a famous local performer in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-toshop specials. This week’s wow-er at the mic is none other than Erin Smith (of The Throwdowns fame, of course) whose powerful pipes will in turn leave you breathless. (PS: Like the WOW! vibe? Check it out next week, too, when the Au’s Shaolin Arts Society presents a lively lion dance.) Free. 6-8:30pm. The Shops at Wailea (Wailea Alanui Dr.); 891-6770; theshopsatwailea.com; @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

JANUARY 12, 2012

19

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar

Thursday

BY ANU YAGI

1/12

BIG SHOWS

Friday

1/13 Saturday

1/14

Saturday & Sunday

1/14

& 1/15

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THURS

JAN.12

A MAUIMUSICMECC 1.

$07&3 t PRESENTS GUEST DJ t /0 .

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JAN.13 13&4&/54

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SATURDAY JAN.14 JOSH TATOFI CD RELEASE PARTY ALONG

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EKOLU, MANALII 1. & MICAH G $07&3 t

TUESDAY

N. 1177 JAN

TACO TUESDAY 1.

WEDNESDAY

JAN.18

TH IBIZA ON MAUI WI 1.

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20

JANUARY 12, 2012

SOLO SESSIONS WITH KUANA TORRES KAHELE - See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 2424-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org 2ND ANNUAL LANAI JAZZ FEST - Fri. through Sun., Jan. 13-15. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. Free. Manele Bay Four Seasons (Fri., Jan. 13, 6-9pm) / Four Seasons Lodge at Koele (Sat., Jan. 14, 4-8pm) / Blue Ginger (Sun., Jan. 15, 9am-12pm) / Four Seasons Lodge at Koele (Sun., Jan. 15, 10am12pm); lanaijazzfestival.com THE FREERADICALS PROJEKT CD RELEASE PARTY - Fri., Jan. 13. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. Advance tickets available online and at Requests (Wailuku), The Wine Corner (Paia), Choice Health Bar (Lahaina) and Stella Blues Cafe (Kihei). $15 presale / $20 door. 9pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com MACEO, PARKER - Sat., Jan. 14. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 7:30pm. Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / maceo.com MOTHXP, THE THROWDOWNS, OWAILA & DJ BLAST - Sat., Jan. 14. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $5. 9pm-1am. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com SOUL FOOD TO GO! - Omar & The Soultones continue their benefit concert series tour for the Maui Food Bank, playing funkalicious classics by Al Green, Earth Wind & Fire, Kool & The Gang, War and The Temptations. Tonightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show also features DJ Boomshot. $10 / $5 with canned goods donation. 9:30pm.

Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-5220; casanovamaui.com / thesoultones@gmail.com JOSH TATOFI CD RELEASE PARTY - Featuring Ekolu, Manalii and Micah G. $20. 10pm.

Oceans Bar & Grill (1919 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-2414 FREE SCREENING: â&#x20AC;&#x153;SURFâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UPâ&#x20AC;? + SURFROCK BAND, SOUNDWAVE - See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. Free. 5pm doors (and SoundWave concert) / 6:30pm screening.

Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAUI BLACKIE PRESENTS STRAIGHTAHEAD JAZZ - See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. Advance tickets available online. $15 advance / $20 door. 6:45pm doors / 7-10pm show. Timba (505 Front St., Lahaina); 6677979; mauiblackie.com

TICKETS ON SALE AN INTIMATE EVENING OF JAZZ - Thu., Jan. 19. Jazz great Bill Mays (whose extensive resume includes Sarah Vaughn and Frank Zappa) joins local favorites Phil and Angie Benoit.

Followed by an artist meet-and-greet. $30.

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org AMERICAN RED CROSS TRAINING: STANDARD FIRST AID - Fri., Jan. 20. Learn emergency action steps and first aid procedures for

injuries and sudden illnesses. Receive American Red Cross certification upon course completion.

Call or go online to register. $70. 4-8pm. American Red Cross; 45 N. Market Street, Suite A; $90; 1-800-733-2767; redcross.org KUMU KAHUA THEATRE PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;A JIVEBOMBERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHRISTMASâ&#x20AC;? - Fri. & Sat, Jan. 20 & 21. This play, written by Saachiko and Dom Bagwili, was first produced by Los Angelesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Japanese American National Museum. Though set in a WWII relocation camp for Japanese Americans, this story is filled with lighthearted nostalgia. $22. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MOONLIGHT SERIES FEAT. HAPA - Fri., Jan. 20. Unless you live under a rock (not withstanding the fact that we live on a rock), you already know that Barry Flanagan and Ron Kualaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;au are one of Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite musical duos. $30 / $45. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT - Fri. Jan. 20. Expect busy thrift stores as local indies prepare their concert-going threads for this hip show. $23.50 / $28.50 / $55.50. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org KANAKA HEKILI M/C 6TH ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT - Sat., Jan. 21. A three-person team, best ball scramble with a portion of proceeds benefitting Maui Veterans of Foreign Wars. Closest-to-the-pin and longest drive each win $100. First, second and third place teams win $600, $300 and $150, respectively. Plus, hole-in-one prizes include $10,000 (which was accomplished at their fourth annual tourney) and a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

(PS: The M/C also seeks hole sponsorships and prize donations. To ensure signage, deadline for hole sponsorship ($100) is Jan. 14.)

Tourney entry deadline is Jan. 16. $100 per golfer. Cost includes green and cart fees, a catered lunch at the Kihei VFW grounds, two raffle tickets, two mulligans and three chances at closest-to-the-pin. 6am check-in / 7am shotgun start. Elleair Maui Golf Club; Jim Lapham: 264-0168; kanakahekili.com Q103 FM PRESENTS STEVE-O (OF â&#x20AC;&#x153;JACKASSâ&#x20AC;? FAME) - Sat., Jan. 21. Yep, the McCartney to Johnny Knoxvilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lennon is coming to the Valley Isle (foâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; real this time), with opening comics Chino LaForge and Ed Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ahea.

Hosted by Michael C. Hall. Tickets available at Oceans (Kihei) and Bounty Music (Kahului), online at hightidecncerts.net and fla.vor. us/groovetickets, or by calling 1-855-2-FLAVOR. $35 advance. 7pm doors / 8pm show.

Oceanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beach Bar & Grill (1819 S. Kihei Rd. TEDXMAUI 2012 - Sun., Jan. 22. Because good ideas are worth spreading, Mauians host their own TEDx event. Hosted by Kainoa Horjaco and Leslie Wilcox. Guest speakers include Elizabeth Lindsey, Art Medeiros, Pualani Kanakaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ole Kanahele, W.S. Merwin, Byron Washom and Susan Casey. 9am-6pm. $99 general / $75 students & seniors. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

STORYTELLING FESTIVAL: MAUI, HINA & KA HANA KAPA - Sun., Jan. 22. The legend of the demi-god Maui lassoing the sun will be performed in chant, dance and the art of storytelling. Free. 3pm. The Pa, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org FIFTH ANNUAL MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL - Thu. through Mon., Jan. 26 through 30.

An over four-day happening featuring DJs, ecstatic dance, yoga, workshops, satsang with Ram Dass and live entertainment by the likes of Chris Berry and Michael Kang (of String Cheese Incident and Panjea fame), Jah Levi and David Starfire. Weekend passes include three nights of camping at Camp Oluwalu. $200 if purchased by Jan. 25 / $225 at door (if available). Kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina discount offered. Visit mysticislandfestival.com for more information.

JORMA KAUKONEN AND CHRIS SMITHER - Fri., Jan. 27 - Jorma Kaukonen of Hot Tuna and Jefferson Airplane fame is joined by acoustic blues master Chris Smither. Tickets available online, by phone, and at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku) and Lava Java (Kihei) $28 / $35 / $45 Gold Circle. 6pm doors / 7pm show.

Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 8964845; lazarbear.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SLACK KEY MASTERS FEAT. DENNIS KAMAKAHI AND STEPHEN INGLIS - Thu., Jan 26.

Each month, cooler-than-cool Uncle George Kahumoku hosts this winning series by opening with his candid storytelling and musical prowess. This monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show features Dennis Kamakahiâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heralded as Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest living songwriterâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;alongside Stephen Inglis.

The featured pair celebrate the release of their new CD, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Waimaka Helelei.â&#x20AC;? $25 standard / $45 VIP (includes post-show talk story session with performers). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org DEREK WARFIELD & THE YOUNG WOLFE TONES - Fri., Jan. 27. Derek Warfieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 40year career boasts 13 bestselling albums, and The Young Wolfe Tones were nominated as Irelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Traditional Irish Folk Group in 2009. $20 advance / $25 day-of. 7pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org BEN VEREEN - Fri., Jan. 27. Broadway staractor-singer-dancer and Tony Award winner, Ben Vereen is internationally renowned for his performance in Bob Fosseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pippin. $12 / $37 / $47.

7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SOJA IN CONCERT WITH ANUHEA AND THE GREEN - Sat., Jan. 28. Kicking off their 2012 North American tour promoting their latest effort â&#x20AC;&#x153;Strength to Survive,â&#x20AC;? Washington D.C.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SOJA return to the isles. Joining them are Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own Anuhea and The Green. 4:30pm gates / 5:30pm show. $40 advance / $50 dayof. A&B Amphitheater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SCREENING: HERITAGE FILM FESTIVAL PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;LYCHEE THIEVESâ&#x20AC;? - Sun., Jan. 29. A cautionary tale about covetousness, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lychee Thievesâ&#x20AC;? reveals the humorous contentions

TheGRID

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SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

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1/13

1/14

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ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-9pm

DJ Kollision + k.s.k.

10pm; no cover

‘60s-‘80s Flashback Dance Party w/ DJ Z 10pm; no cover

NFL Playoffs / Sunday Skool Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - NFL / Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Clay Mortensen, 5-9pm / WED - Teri Garrison 5-8pm; free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm (all sets no cover)

CASANOVA

Maui Stand Up Comedy 10pm; $10

DJ Kurt 10pm; $5

Soul Food To Go! with Omar & The Soultones and DJ Boomshot 9:30pm; $5/$10

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain feat.

Mark Johnstone & Friends 10pm; no cover

Colleen Lloy and The Kihei Cowboys 9pm; $10

Danyel Alana 6-8pm; no cover

NFL Playoffs

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Bob Jones & The Drive 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Mango Pickers 8-11pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Colleen Lloy and The Kihei Cowboys 10pm; no cover

NFL

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Quiz Night 10pm; no cover

Big John 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Live Music / TUE - Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa / WED - Sebrina Barron (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Pa’a Mana 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - NFL / Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close

Indio & Avi 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

The Electric Surfers 8:30pm; no cover

The House Shakers 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

MON - Blues Spirit of Maui, 8:30pm / TUE - Kenny Roberts, 8:30pm (all ages!) / WED - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 8:30pm (all ages)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

which arise when locals fight over the bounty of a sweet lychee tree. $10. 3pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SNATAM KAUR SACRED CHANT CONCERT - Sun., Feb. 5. An international favorite, new age/world music phenom Snatam Kaur makes her Maui debut, joined by Maui’s renowned tabla player Daniel Paul and Urban Nature Music’s Todd Boston on lead guitar. Come early for Indian pupus, desserts and chai, made available by Shyampria. Tickets available online or at Paia Yoga (161 Hana Hwy.). $25 advance / $30 door. 7pm. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 579-6480; spiritvoyage.com Q103 PRESENTS THIRD WORLD - Sat., Feb. 18. Jamaica’s reggae ambassadors Third World return to Maui, with opening guests Paula Fuga and Mike Love. Tickets available online or at Ocean’s Bar & Grill (Kihei), Westside Vibes (Lahaina) and Bounty Music (Kahului). 6pm doors / 7pm show. $40 advance / $45 door. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 1-885-2-FLAVOR (352867); groovetickets.com

STAGE PROARTS PRESENTS “RUTHLESS!” (Last chance!) Returning from a holiday hiatus, this campy play continues its run Jan. 6 through 15. Starring Lina Krueger, Heider Turner, Kristi Scott, Dale Button, Alison Mikes and Rose Roselinsky, this campy off-Broadway hit is the final show of ProArts’s Fall/Winter season. The story wittily follows a naive 1950s housewife and her adorable–but sociopathic eight-yearold daughter. Produced by Jonathan Lehman, “Ruthless” enlists the choreography talents of

Aly Cardinalli, musical direction by Anne Durham and Marti Kluth, retro costumes by Sarah Loney, scenery by Caro Walker and lighting

by Bonnie Prucha. $25 adults / $20 youth (18-years-old and younger). 7:30pm Thu-Sat. / 3pm Sun. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 4636550; proartspacific.com MAUIONSTAGE PRESENTS: “ONE HOT WINTER’S NIGHT” - Fri., Jan. 13. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15. 7:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 242-8680; mauionstage.com CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a tropical twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions and mind-boggling contortionists.

Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kama’aina). 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali); 6674540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua! Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packags available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 1-877688-4800; mauitheatre.com

EVENTS

THURSDAY, JANUARY 12 FREE BOLLYWOOD, BHANGRA DANCE

TUE - Willie K & Warehouse Blues Band, 9pm; $10 / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

CLASSES - For the first time on Maui, Smita Khatri offers Bollywood (a modern dance form born out of the Bollywood film industry in India) and Bhangra (an energetic and traditional dance form originating in the state of Punjab in India) dance classes as a gift to the community. Men, women and teens are invited to attend. Thursdays, Jan. 5, 12, 19 & 26: 6:30-7:30pm. Ashtanga Yoga Maui Mysore Style Studio (127 Hana Hwy, upstairs, Paia). Saturdays, Jan. 7, 14 & 21 (no class Jan. 28): 10-11am. Temple of Peace (575 Haiku Rd.). Tuesdays, Jan. 10, 17, 24 & 31: 7-8pm (private residence in lower Kula; call 510473-5143 or e-mail joyfulheartdancing@gmail. com for directions). joyfulheartdancing.com JAWS - Presented by National Geographic cover photographer Patric McFeeley, this 40-minute presentation showcases 950 photos of the world’s best watermen taking on the wave that changed the world of surfing. Free. 8pm.

Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 579-8085; charleysmaui.com

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13 NASSIM HARAMEIN’S DELEGATE PROGRAM - Fri. through Sun., Jan 13-15. In this three day workshop, Nasim Haramein (who you might recognize as the featured physicist in the doco “Thrive”) shares his award-winning Unifield Field Theory and discusses the connectivity between black holes, space travel, extraterrestrials and ancient wisdom. $275. Includes four DVD set and binder of reference materials.

6pm. Call 268-1211 or visit theresonanceproject.org for more information.

HA’INA HOU! (LET THE STORY BE TOLD!) Part of Lahaina Second Friday festivities, Lahaina Restoration Foundation’s free monthly series continues at Front Street’s museums. This

month’s presentation is titled “Healing Practices of the 1800s,” and the Baldwin Home Museum showcases Dr. Baldwin’s medical tools and a selection of Hawaiian healing plants (69pm). While you’re there, their popular weekly candlelight tour is a must ($8 / free for keiki accompanied by a paying adult. 6-8:30pm). And at the Wo Hing Temple Museum, which will be festively decorated, keiki can partake in paper puppet and lantern making and folks of all ages can enjoy their PowerPoint presentation about the origins and significance of Chinese New Year and Chinese lion dance (shown at 6:30 and 8:30pm). lahainarestoration.org LAHAINA SECOND FRIDAY - “Front Street– Great Street” is the theme of January’s Second Friday festivities, and celebrates the selection of Front Street as one of the 10 Great Streets in America for 2011 by the American Planning Association (and to celebrate the honor, they’re decorating the town with fresh flowers).

As for the rest of the party, here are the shopby-shop details: >>> Gallery 505 showcases live painting by pop artist Davo. >>> Hard Rock Cafe hosts a beer garden “Patio Party” with live music by Evan Shulman (6-9pm). >>> Higgins Harte Gallery dishes-up refreshments and wine, and features local artist Lowell Mapes. >>> Images Fine Art serves wine to patrons and hosts a glass blowing demonstration by Julie Houck. >>> Kimo’s features the one-and-only Willie K. The cover for his shows at Kimo’s is usually $5, but if you stop by the Lahaina Visitor Center, you can pick up a coupon that’ll get you in for free (9-11pm).

JANUARY 12, 2012

21

MONDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

TUESDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

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SABRINA BARRON, ELAINE RYAN WITH BAND 9PM ยบ -ร ร ,#) -ร ร

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JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonzo 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Jamie Gallo / WED - Guest Performer (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Willie K 8-10pm; $5

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake 6-8pm; no cover

MON - Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA CAFE

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

Pool Tournament 7-9pm Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

MON - NFL / TUE Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

Salsa Night w/ Netto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Mantis 9pm-close

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Live Music, 7-9pm / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am

Live Music 9-11pm

Live Music

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm / Big John, 10pm-12am

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Willie K, 7-9pm

mauimusicmecca presents guest DJ 10pm; no cover

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays, 10pm; $10

Josh Tatofi CD Release Party feat. Ekolu, Manalii and Micah G 10pm; $20

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

>>> Kobe Japanese Steakhouse offers 20 percent off teppanyaki dining, and Auntie Toddy Lilikoi hosts her famous karaoke night (9:30pm). >>> Lahaina Print Sellers serves wine and offers special promotions. >>> Peter Lik Gallery holds a drawing for a signed copy of “Big Book” by Peter Lik, and serves light pupus while DJ Scotty D performs. >>> The Pioneer Inn has a pupu menu with most items priced under $5, and Wilmont Kahaialii (yep, Willie K’s brother) entertains throughout the night (6-9). >>> Sargents Fine Art hosts painter Roman Czerwinski, features music by Curtis Lee, and serves wine. >>>Thomas Barbey Art Gallery offers discounts and serves wine to patrons. >>> Village Gallery serves wine and pupus, and hosts local artists. >>> The Wharf Cinema Center’s shops offer loads of discounts, and the center at large features live Hawaiian music and dance by Lui Williams and I Kona Maui Lima Halau (5-7pm).

Plus, Bob Jones & The Drive gig at Cool Cat Cafe (7:30pm) and Dave Caroll captain’s the mic at Captain Jack’s (7:30pm).

executive committee member Les Potts. For time, location and more information, call or email Les Potts at 665-0043, lespotts@live.com VOTER REGISTRATION - Because if you don’t vote, you can’t complain. Free. 10am12pm. 10am-12pm. Queen Kaahumanu Center (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); queenkaahumanucenter.com JAPENGO’S ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY The Hyatt celebrates the one-year anniversary of it’s acclaimed restaurant, Japengo. A portion of the ticket proceeds from the Year of the Dragon celebration will benefit Hawaii’s 34th Annual Visitor Industry Charity Walk, and will feature Japengo’s signature appetizers, entrees, desserts, select wines, beer and sake, plus live entertainment and raffle prizes. $79.

6-9pm. Japengo, Hyatt Regency Resort and Spa (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali); 6674727; maui.hyatt.com FREE SCREENING: “THE GARDEN OF BE” - Join Maui OnStage and local playwright Tess Cartwright for the world premier of the film version of “The Garden of BE” (and original musical which was produced at the Iao Theater last Sept.). Free. 6:30 doors / 7-8:30pm show. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 242-6969

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14

SUNDAY, JANUARY 15

VOLUNTEER IN HALEAKALA CRATER Help Haleakala National Park care for native vegetation Sat. through Mon., Jan. 14-16, and stay free at Paliku Cabin. To register, send an e-mail to Friends of Haleakala National Park (sageblank@agol.com) or visit fhnp.org.

HONOLUA STEWARDSHIP DAY - Every second Saturday, Surfrider Foundation Maui Chapter hosts cleanup projects helmed by

AYURVEDA FOR SELF HEALING WITH UMA - At this hands-on workshop lead by certified Ayurvedic practitioner Margo Uma Gal, learn ancient Ayurvedic techniques including warm oil body and scalp massage, medicated oil for cleaning sinuses, how to find secret vital energy points, as well as mantras and yoga. $108.

Includes Ayurvedic lunch. 10am-5pm Hale Ho’omana Spa Retreat (Piiholo Rd., Makawao);

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm; AC/ DCember: Highway to Heal benefit, 9-11pm TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

573-8256; mauiayurvedichealing.com

MONDAY, JANUARY 16 INAUGURAL BELL RINGING CEREMONY FOR DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - A joyous sound for freedom. Free. 8am. Queen Kaahumanu Congregational Church (103 S. High St., Wailuku); 242-1867 MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY DISPLAY & CELEBRATION - the African Americans on Maui Association, a 501(c)(3) organization, and Nubian Pageant Systems presents a Martin Luther King Jr. Day display sponsored by the County of Maui. Free. 3-6pm. Queen Kaahumanu Center (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 280-1394; queenkaahumanucenter.com MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY PEACE DAY MARCH - See This Week’s Picks for more.

Free. 11am. University of Hawaii College Maui (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 879-5313

TUESDAY, JANUARY 17 FREE COOKING CLASS: “VEGETARIAN SOLUTIONS FOR BETTER HEALTH” - Each Tue., vegetarian Chef Jessica Oshier leads a special cooking class that provides educational materials, practical tips, recipes, cooking demonstrations, and–of course–free samples.

This week’s lesson: “Light and Lively!” including collard green wraps, spicy red pepper hummus and tahini smoothie. Free. 5:30-6:30pm.

Down to Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 8772661; downtoearth.org FREE ‘UKULELE LESSONS - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 5:45pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall (Honoapiilani Hwy.); 661-5304; lahainacannery.com / @LahainaCannery on Twitter

WED - Ibiza on Maui w/ DJ Peak 10pm; no cover

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18 OCCUPY MAUI - Ninety-nine percent of you (i.e. “you” as in the public–you don’t have to leave one percent of your person at home; though that and then some would sure be nice) are invited to attend Occupy Wall Street Maui’s general assembly meetings, held each Wednesday. 5-7pm. The Great Lawn, University of Hawaii Maui College (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului) WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS! - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 6-8:30pm. The Shops at Wailea (Wailea Alanui Dr.); 8916770; theshopsatwailea.com; @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

ANNOUNCEMENTS HAWAII PUBLIC LIBRARIES OBSERVE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR DAY HOLIDAY - All public libraries will be closed on Mon., Jan. 16 in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Also, Kahului, Kihei and Lahaina public libraries will remain closed on Tue., Jan. 17. librarieshawaii.org CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS TO “MY MAMA MONOLOGUES” - This annual staged reading–where stories are shared, songs are sung and digital stories are shown–is held at multiple locations in Hawaii and around the world around Mother’s Day weekend. If you have a story about your mama that you’d like to share, you may submit it for consideration. Contributing authors who are selected can expect to have their stories edited to suit the show’s format, and may choose to be credited or remain anonymous. The deadline for entry has been extended to Feb. 1. For more information, visit mymamamonologues.com

JANUARY 12, 2012

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JANUARY 12, 2012

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

1/12

1/13

1/14

1/15

1/16-1/18

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

TBA 9pm-12am; no cover

Kenny Roberts 9pm-12am; no cover

WED - Clay Mortensen, 6-9pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Live Music 8-11pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

Ahumanu, 4-6pm / The Freeradicals Projekt “SoulFire” CD Release Party, 9pm; $15/$20

MOTHxp, The Throwdowns, Owaila and DJ Blast 9pm; $5

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Jerry Caires Jr. Band 9pm-1am; $4

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like A Pirate Night

Sebrina Barron and Elaine Ryan 9pm; no cover

Rampage 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

House of Reggae 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

NFL / Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Karaoke

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

HAWAII HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS INVITED TO COMPETE IN NATIONAL POETRY RECITATION CONTEST - Honolulu Theatre for Youth (HTY) and the Hawaii State Foundation on Culture and the Arts invite high school students to compete in Poetry Out Loud: National Recitation Contest, presented in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts and the Poetry Foundation. Schools are invited to participate in classroom and schoolwide contests, advancing to a Hawaii state competition on March 18 in Honolulu. The Hawaii state champion will receive $200 and an all-expenses-paid trip to Washington, DC, to compete for a $20,000 prize in the National Finals on May 14-15. To get involved, high school teachers should contact HTY at 839-9885 ext. 704 or e-mail edadmin@htyweb.org ART MAUI 2012 PROSPECTUS NOW ONLINE - Since its inception in 1979, Art Maui has grown to become one of the most prestigious juried art exhibitions in the state. The 34th Art Maui Exhibition is scheduled to open Sun., Mar. 25 at the MACC’s Schaefer International Gallery, with jurying (Mar. 16 & 17) by Thomas Kolobe, one of Art Maui’s founders.

Interested in submitting your work? Check out the 2012 prospectus by visiting artmaui.com.

Revised items include the return of installation work (written proposals due Mar. 1) and the reinstated annual High School Senior Art Scholarship Awards Program (portfolios due Mar. 15). (PS: Further, the annual Art Maui Symposium–this year’s topic being “Art of the Juror”–is slated for Jan. 14. See Tickets on Sale for more information.)

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon., Tue. & Wed., Brian 3-5pm; Wed., Alika & Ron 6-8:30pm; Thu., Damien 3-5pm; Thu., Garrett

& Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri., Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri. & Sat., Kulwewa 6-8:30pm; Every Sun. & Sat., Tim 3-5pm; Sun., Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Tue., Alika & Edee 6-8:30pm; Tue., Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Fri., Henry Kapono 5-7pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900 HULA GRILL - Wed., Alika 1:30-3:30pm; Wed., Peter DeAquino 4-6pm; Every Tue. & Wed., Ernest Pua’a & Fri.ends 6:30-9pm; Thu., Alika 11am-1pm; Thu., Ernest Pua’a 1:303:30pm; Every Mon. & Thu., Armadillo 4-6pm; Thu., Kulwewa 6-9pm; Every Mon., Fri. & Sat., Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm; Every Fri. & Sat., 1810 4-6pm; Fri., Kawika, Roy & Ivan 6:30-9pm; Sat., Wili Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Every Sun. & Tue., Kawika Lum Ho 11am-1pm; Sun., Ron & Ikaika 1:30-3:30pm; Sun., Derick Sebastian Trio 6-9pm; Mon., Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30-9pm; Tue., Jarrett Roback 1:30-3:30pm; Tue., Damon & Danyel Alana 4-6pm; Every Mon., Wed. & Fri., Ernest Pua’a 11am-1pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri., DJ & Fri.ends, Every Sat., JD & Harry; Sun., Merv Oana (all sets 3-5pm). Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495 LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu., Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri., Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808 PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu., Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm; Wed., JD on the Rocks 5-8pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 6613636 R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live jazz. 4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889 SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue.

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover)

MON - Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship Gina Martinelli Band 8pm; no cover

WED - The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Karaoke

MON - NFL / TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

& Fri., Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat., Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500 VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Fri., Glenn Kakagawa and Sarah Cravalho 5:308:30pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen 7pm; Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night 7:30pm [January is “Chicks Who Kick Ass Month.” This week: “Underworld” (2003)]. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu., Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm; Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm.

1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250 KAI WAIEA - Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf; Fri., Ryan Robinson; Sat., Kanoa; Mon., Tom Conway; Wed., Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955 LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Netto & Barbara Peraza 8-11pm; Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2 6:30-9:30pm; Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm; Every Tue., Ric Scanlan 7-11pm; Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-9944 MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat., Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue., Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., 875-6666 MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Sun., The Celtic Tigers with Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon., Joyce & Gord 6-8:30pm; Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks (magic show), 7-8pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith; Every Fri., Randall Rospond; Every Sat., Tom Conway; Every Sun., Viva La Rumba;

Every Mon., Kanoa; Every Tue., Sebrina Barron; Every Wed., Mark Johnstone. (all sets 4-6pm.)

Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444 STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue., Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed., Randall Rospond 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 7-10pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779 TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu., Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri., Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat., Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun., The Crunch Pups; Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue., Mike and Mark; Every Wed., Steve Sargenti. (All sets 6-9pm.)

2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon., Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Teri Garrison 8pm; Every Tue., Clay Mortensen 5-9pm; Every Wed., Teri Garrison 5-8pm / free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis 8pm. (All sets no cover.) 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001 CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY - Every Thu.Sun. & Tue., piano w/ Francois 6pm-close. Every Sun., guitar with Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului; 873-6555

UPCOUNTRY CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu., Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat., live Argentinian music; Every Wed., Mark Johnstone.

(All sets 6:30-8:30pm.) 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6323 CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Sat., Danyel Alana 6-8pm. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-8085

JANUARY 12, 2012

25

FILM

Meryl As Margaret The Iron Lady hits and misses as Thatcher biopic

BY BARRY WURST II The Iron Lady

★★★★★

Rated PG13/105 Min

J

ust when you thought you were done being newly impressed with Meryl Streep, she embodies and completely captures Margaret Thatcher. In The Iron Lady, the life and troubled political career of Thatcher during her years as England’s Prime Minister is portrayed as a hybrid of political drama, historical pageant, mild satire, and make-up melodrama.

Everyone knows what the latter is: ever since Citizen Kane, every filmmaker has sought to recreate that “Rosebud” feel of having a sprawling saga opened and capped by the lead figure covered in old age make-up, looking back with sad, regretful melancholy. It worked for Robert Downey Jr. in Chaplin, it didn’t work for Leonardo DiCaprio in J. Edgar and, despite the always impressive make-up, it definitely doesn’t work in this movie.

The film’s narrative bookend is Thatcher remembering her life with her dead husband,

26

JANUARY 12, 2012

played by Jim Broadbent, hamming it up as the figment of her imagination. We’re never sure if we’re supposed to laugh or feel sorry for her while dementia seizes her during conversations with Denis the friendly ghost. It’s as awkward as it sounds and stalls the film out of the gate.

Once the film temporarily escapes the story’s framing device, it becomes a compelling, energetic, Best Of career montage and it works splendidly. The numerous historical recreations aren’t always shown in a way that clearly demonstrates their importance but they’re certainly exciting in the way they’re staged. It lacks the caustic stylization of an Oliver Stone movie but could have used the political fire, outrage, and passion of his films.

Thatcher is certainly an interesting character but those walking in unfamiliar with her career may walk out unclear as to why she was so controversial and groundbreaking.

The specifics of her politics and decisions are downplayed here, with her gender and authority being questioned given emphasis over specific political choices and platforms.

Mamma Mia! director Phyllida Lloyd may not have been the best choice for a political

Chick Flick

character study but the look and feel is just right: the cockeyed camera angles in some scenes give the audience a you-are-there perspective, and the cinematography and score are gorgeous and epic-sized. The only mo-

ments that don’t work are the shots of Streep as Thatcher waving to the crowd from her limo, which cuts to scenes of people outside that are clearly stock footage.

This near-great biopic doesn’t quite come together but showcases what could be Streep’s greatest performance. Even with keeping A Cry in the Dark, Sophie’s Choice, Julie & Julia, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Ironweed and The Devil Wears Prada in mind, Streep’s performance as Thatcher is a monumental achievement for the actress and an event to witness for her longtime fans. On the outside, Streep looks and sounds so much like Thatcher, you may forget you’re watching one of America’s greatest living actresses.

Internally, she makes Thatcher a stubborn, focused, cold and occasionally inspiring piece of work. Whether you’re on board with Thatcher’s famously conservative politics or find her something of a monster, Streep’s balanced portrayal is sympathetic and the movie matches the tone her performance sets. Both ferocious and insecure, you may find yourself rooting for Thatcher because, if for no other reason, the obstacles and resistance she met throughout her life were enormous.

The film as a whole is as frustratingly uneven and intermittently fascinating as Thatcher is as a character. It come so close to being a Best Picture contender but, in the end, Streep’s performance is the film’s greatest asset and gives serious clout to a rickety costume drama. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1530f

FILM

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY ANU YAGI

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (2D) - PG - THU (4:15), 7:05, 9:40. FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:40.

SAT-MON (1:30), 4:15, 7:05, 9:40. TUE-WED (4:15), 7:05, 9:40.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - R - THU (3:15), 6:30, 10:00. FRI (11:45, 3:15), 6:30, 10:00. SAT-MON (11:45), 3:15, 6:30, 10:00.

TUE-WED (3:15), 6:30, 10:00.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU (3:45), 6:45, 9:45. FRI (12:45, 3:45), 6:45, 9:45. SAT-MON (12:45), 3:45, 6:45, 9:45.

TUE-WED (3:45), 6:45, 9:45.

We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:50. FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50. SAT-MON (1:15), 4:00. TUE-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (2D) - PG - THU (4:30).

FRI (4:55). SAT-MON 4:55. TUE-WED (4:55).

The Adventures of Tintin (3D) - PG - THU (2:00), 6:55, 9:20. FRI-MON (12:05, 2:25), 7:20, 9:35. SAT-MON (12:05, 2:25), 7:20, 9:35. TUEWED (2:25), 7:20, 9:35.

Beauty and the Beast (2D) - G - FRI (4:30).

SAT-MON 4:30. TUE-WED (4:30).

Beauty and the Beast (3D) - G - SAT-MON (12:00, 2:15), 6:45, 9:00. FRI-MON (12:00, 2:15), 6:45, 9:00. TUE-WED (2:15), 6:45, 9:00.

Carnage - R - FRI (12:15, 2:20, 4:45), 6:50, 8:55. SAT-MON (12:15, 2:20), 4:45, 6:50, 8:55.

TUE-WED (2:20, 4:45), 6:50, 8:55.

The Darkest Hour (2D) - PG 13 - THU-FRI (5:05). SAT-MON 5:05. TUE-WED (5:05).

The Darkest Hour (3D) - PG 13 - THU (2:50), 7:25, 9:50. FRI-MON (12:35, 2:50), 7:25, 9:50.

TUE-WED (2:50), 7:25, 9:50.

The Descendants - R - THU (1:45, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55.

NEW THIS WEEK BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - G - Animated From a little town in a quiet village, this tale as old as time returns in 3D. 84 min.

CARNAGE - R - Black Comedy - Based on God of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza, this flick stars Jodie Foster, John C. â&#x20AC;&#x153;For Your Healthâ&#x20AC;? Reilly, Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz. Directed by Roman Polanski. 133 min.

CONTRABAND - R - Action - In Iceland, Baltasa Kormakur starred in the original 2009 version of this movie, Reykjavik-Rotterdam. In America, Kormakurâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the director and Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi and Kate Beckinsale star. 110 min.

IRON LADY - PG 13 - Drama - See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Film Critique. 105 min.

JOYFUL NOISE - PG 13 - Musical - Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton and Kris Kristofferson star.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all you need to know. 133 min.

NOW SHOWING THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN - PG - Animation - Directed by Steven Spielberg (his first-ever animated film), this flick follows a young journalist, Tintin, and his dog Snowy. Based on Les Aventures de Tintin, a comic series by Belgian artist Georges Remi (a.k.a. Herge), which have sold over 200 million copies in 50 languages.

107 min.

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED - PG - Animated - Squirrelkabobs!

The Chipmunks and Chimpettes get stranded on a deserted topical islandâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;and soon find it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t deserted at all (big surprise). I wonder if the natives will Cook them? 87 min.

THE DARKEST HOUR - PG 13 - Thriller - Who

FRI (1:50, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-MON (1:50), 4:35, 7:15, 9:55. TUE-WED (1:50, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55.

The Devil Inside - R - THU (2:05, 4:40), 7:30, 9:40. FRI (11:50, 2:05, 4:40), 7:30, 9:30. SATMON (11:50, 2:05), 4:40, 7:30, 9:30. TUE-WED (2:05, 4:40), 7:30, 9:30.

J. Edgar - R - THU (3:40), 6:35, 9:30.

Joyful Noise - PG 13 - FRI (1:30, 4:10), 7:00, 9:40. SAT-MON (1:30), 4:10, 7:00, 9:40. TUEWED (1:30, 4:10), 7:00, 9:40.

My Week with Marilyn - R - THU (2:25, 4:55), 7:20, 9:35. FRI (11:40, 2:00, 4:15), 6:55, 9:20.

SAT-MON (11:40, 2:00), 4:15, 6:55, 9:20. TUEWED (2:00, 4:15), 6:55, 9:20.

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve - PG 13 - THU (1:40, 4:15), 6:45, 9:15. FRI-MON (3:55), 9:15. SAT-MON 3:55, 9:15. TUE-WED (3:55), 9:15.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. FRI (1:35, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. SAT-MON (1:35), 4:20, 7:10, 10:00. TUE-WED (1:35, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00.

War Horse - PG - THU (2:30, 3:20, 5:30), 8:30, 9:05. SAT-MON (11:30, 2:30), 5:30, 8:30. FRIMON (11:30, 2:30, 5:30), 8:30.

TUE-WED (2:30, 5:30), 8:30.

We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (1:35, 4:25), 6:30, 7:05, 9:45. FRI (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45.

SAT-MON (1:40), 4:25, 7:05, 9:45. TUE-WED (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45.

Young Adult- R - THU (2:35, 4:50), 7:00, 9:25.

FRI-WED (1:45), 6:40.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Descendants - R - THU 1:30, 4:05, 7:15. FRISUN 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:45. MON 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00. TUE-WED 1:30, 4:05, 7:15.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU 1:15, 4:15, 7:05. FRI-SUN 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30, 10:15. MON 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30. TUE-WED 1:15, 4:15, 7:05.

cares about Vladimir Putin? Aliens are attacking Russia! 89 min.

THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy Whoa, whoa, whoa. An alrady award-winning movie filmed in Hawaii (and though weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already qualified itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s award-winningâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;no, Adam Sandlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not in it), about Hawaii (seriously), written by a Hawaiian (itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s based on the critically acclimed debut novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings)? And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not Get A Job? And it stars George Clooney? What the hell more do you need to know before you go? (And how many more question marks will it take before our point is made???) 115 min.

THE DEVIL INSIDE - R - Horror - A demonically possessed mother and daughter ride their exorcise bikes through Vatican City! 83 min.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO R - Thriller - Based on the hit novel by Swedish journalist Stieg Larsson, who died just before his books became famous. Trivia: the bookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original title in Swedish is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Män som hatar kvinnor,â&#x20AC;? which translates to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Men Who Hate Women.â&#x20AC;? 95 min.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - PG 13 - Action - The real impossible mission lies in whether this movie can resurrect Tom Cruise from the Hollywood whack list. (No, Tom. You are not a â&#x20AC;&#x153;thetanâ&#x20AC;? trapped in a â&#x20AC;&#x153;meat body.â&#x20AC;? Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a goddamned movie star and we miss you. Well, kind of.) If you miss Maverick, too, blame L. Ron Hubbard. 132 min.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN - R - Drama - Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne) kept a journal while gophering on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl (a film which famously paired Sir Laurence Oliver and Marilyn Monroe), and during that time, he spent an idyllic week with Monroe (hence the title). Clark went on to become a famous filmmaker, his journal was later published as a book, and his accounts of his week with Marilyn were made into this movie. Rough life, huh? 96 min.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU 1:10, 4:10. FRI-SUN 11:10, 2:00, 4:50, 7:20, 10:00. MON 11:10, 2:00, 4:50, 7:20. TUE-WED 1:00, 4:10.

War Horse - PG - THU 1:00, 4:05, 7:00. FRI-SUN 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00. MON-WED 1:05, 4:05, 7:00.

KAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;AHUMANU 6 Queen Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked PG - THU 10:40, 11:40, 12:45, 2:45, 2:50, 5:00, 6:00, 7:10, 8:05. FRI-SUN 12:45, 2:50, 5:00, 7:10, 9:20. MON-WED 12:45, 2:50, 5:00, 7:10.

Contraband - G - FRI-SUN 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:25, 9:45. MON-TUE 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:25, 9:45. WED 11:00, 2:10, 4:35, 7:25.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - R - THU 11:30, 12:30, 2:45, 3:45, 6:00, 7:00. FRI-SUN 12:30, 3:45, 7:00, 10:15. MON-WED 12:30, 3:45, 7:00.

Iron Lady - PG 13 - FRI-SUN 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30. MON-WED 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU 10:20, 11:00, 1:15, 2:00, 4:10, 4:50, 7:00, 8:00. FRI-SUN 11:00, 11:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4:30, 5:15, 7:15, 9:20, 10:00. MON-WED 11:00, 11:45, 1:45, 2:30, 4:30, 5:15, 7:15, 8:00.UN-WED 10:20, 11:00, 1:15, 2:00, 4:10, 4:50, 7:00, 8:00.

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WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked - PG - THU (1:20, 4:10), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:20), 4:10, 7:00, 9:30.

Contraband - G - FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

SAT-MON (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50. TUE-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

The Darkest Hour (2D) - PG 13 - THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:40.

Joyful Noise - PG 13 - FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45. SAT-MON (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. TUE-

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE - PG 13 - Romantic Comedy - Look, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean to be so bah-humbug, but ensemble casts make it really hard to suspend disbelief. Add to that this flickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a feel-good holiday hurl-fest, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s doubly doomed in our book.

Directed by Garry Marshall (whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really exercising originality, given his other major credit is Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day). Starring Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Robert De Niro, friend of the paper Zac Effron, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Alyssa Milano, Sienna Miller, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ryan Seacrestâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;can I please just stop here? 118 min.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS - PG 13 - Action - Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) and Watson (Jude Law) are back for more â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;splosions. 129 min.

WAR HORSE - PG 13 - Drama - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Experience [WWI] through the eyes of [Joey, a] long suffering and supernaturally strong horse,â&#x20AC;? writes Barry Wurst II. 146 min.

WE BOUGHT A ZOO - PG - Family - Because the world isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ready for We Bought A Poo. Starring Matt Damon and Scarlet Johansson.

123 min.

YOUNG ADULT - R - Black Comedy - Spoiler alert: the moral of this Diablo Cody story is that no matter what poignant lessons life may proffer, that bitchy prom queen will never, ever change.

In fact, she gets worse. Much worse. Also, writers are solipsistic drunks. Agreed! 94 min.

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DiCaprio, â&#x20AC;&#x153;has lots to admire but never fully connects... [and DiCaprioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s] heavy-handed narration with a just-shy of Dr. Evil voice, is a hindrance.â&#x20AC;?

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Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

You’re standing on a diving board in front of a pool. It’s the only way in, so you’ve got two choices: dive into the deep end, or don’t get in at all. It’s really too bad you can’t just get your feet wet and check out what the water’s like before you’re in a sinkor-swim situation. Since you can’t, you’ll have to do your best to figure out what’s best and whether or not to take the leap at all from up here. Never fear, if you can’t decide, wait a week or two—someone else will decide for you, and your new dilemma will be how to live with whatever they chose.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Getting other people to shoulder the responsibilities you think should be theirs is a thankless job—and thankfully not yours.

You may believe it’s your duty to convince someone else to step up and take on obligations, but it’s really not. That’d just piss them off, anyway. Whether you’re a parent, friend, lover, or coworker, at some point you need to trust others to do what they’re supposed to do, and stand aside and let them pay the consequences if they fail. Sparing them that harsh lesson isn’t a kindness—so spare yourself the hassle.

something that’s often difficult for you Cancers to get. You’re bobbing in the ocean, and when those big waves of emotion come, it’s very hard to see the horizon. Wait until the wave’s passed, and you can see far into the distance before you make your move (or any decisions). Reacting right in the moment, just because of the urgency of this huge wall of emotion crashing over your head is completely understandable—but it’ll almost certainly come off as (and be) overreacting. Don’t do it.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions on page 4

1–A: A strong propane odor wafted in from a nearby gas company that was purging its tanks.

2–C: The MECO power stations in Kahului and Ma‘alaea.

3–C: Fifth.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

If you were a dog, you might very well be the kind to turn your nose up at table scraps. However, if someone put those table scraps on a silver platter and gussied them up a bit with some garnishes and a gourmet sauce, you might feel differently. That’s your pride getting in the way. It’s not the nature of the things you receive that you have a problem with, it’s how they’re offered. If it doesn’t fit in with your ego, you might very well pass up something you actually really want or even need.

That seems sort of silly, missing out on something great just because it’s not packaged exactly how you imagined it—doesn’t it?

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

You don’t need to be defined by your past, but being influenced by it is important. Trying to reject or hide where you’ve come from is depriving yourself of a source of power and self-knowledge, and is also almost like telling a lie. That doesn’t mean you need to inform everyone you meet about painful or embarrassing chapters you’ve suffered—but certainly those you’re closest to should know. Suffering creates character and beauty, and is also an integral part of being human and alive. This week, focus on owning yours in a way you never have before.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

You’re usually laidback and easygoing, but you do have buttons that, when pushed, can cause scary flip-outs. If one of those hard-to-reach buttons actually gets pushed this week (which is likely), try to surprise yourself (instead of everyone else) by reacting in a sane, rational, calm manner, instead of flipping out like you really want to—something surely even you realize isn’t likely to help matters at all. Vanish, if necessary. Your absence may cause questions—but it’s better if you calmly answer those later, rather than provide the answers now, while flipping out, don’t you agree?

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

This week, steel yourself against guilt trips, because you’re likely to experience more than one. They’re probably not even intentional—which makes them more effective. However, your boundaries should remain firm, no matter how difficult it is.

You’re not truly obligated here, no matter what they say. This is a great time to employ that infamous bullheaded stubbornness of yours. Of course, there’s no need to be mean about it—that’s only likely to make you feel even guiltier and succumb to their efforts. Find a gentle, kind, yet firm way to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Trying too hard is a reliable way to make sure people don’t like you much. Making a good impression is mostly about being yourself, so chill! Take a deep breath, exercise your excellent humor, and listen a lot. Be real, even if that means admitting to being nervous or feeling weird. You’re charming and likeable— except when you’re trying hard to be. Since you’re wonderful quite naturally, you don’t need to make any real effort besides being present and giving a shit. After that, just try to, you know, have fun. The rest will take care of itself.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Don’t sweat the small stuff. What’s missing here is perspective—

We shut people out for all sorts of reasons, and usually think that once that door’s closed, we’ll never open it again, no matter how much someone on the other side might knock or beg. But given enough time, there may be good reason to let someone back into your life. That doesn’t mean you need to open the door wide and give them an all access pass to your life, but crack the window and chat a bit. If you conclude that nothing’s changed and keeping your distance is still the right thing to do, then at least you’ll know. But there was a reason this person was in your life before. If the reasons you cut them off are mostly gone, maybe there’ll be good reason to let them back into your life again.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Humor people. It’s not as big a deal for you, either way, as it is for them, so just do what they want you to do. Sure, it’s a drag, and there’s a line you might not want to cross, but you’re not even close to that line right now. In the name of being the peacemaker and diplomat you’re supposed to be, just suck it up and cheerfully do the stuff they want. The good karma you reap may not come back to you this week or even this month—but it’ll come back. On the other hand, refusing to accommodate them could spell huge negative repercussions—and those won’t wait long to strike.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

So often in life, we’re forced to spend time with people we don’t particularly like or get along with. Whether work, family, or friends require it, part of being a reasonable adult is getting over it. That doesn’t mean you need to lie or be tremendously insincere, but your obligation to those you do love is to not behave so badly that they feel uncomfortable—that means sucking it up, being polite, and getting over yourself long enough so that everyone else, at least, can have a good time—and once you stop focusing on how annoyed you are, you might surprise yourself by having a good time, too.

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Don’t go negative. Even though it’s occasionally funny when people talk shit about each other, doing so doesn’t reflect well on you. Resist the urge to participate in a smear campaign of any kind this week, even if it seems like it might benefit you or yours in some way. When everyone else plays dirty, the more you can keep your hands clean the better. Pointing fingers may very effectively bring someone else down—but to drag someone down you usually need to be below them. Let them fling all the shit they want—if you don’t retaliate, you’ll still come through it smelling (mostly) like roses.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

JANUARY 12, 2012

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