15.26 Local Gift Guide 2011, December 15, 2011, Volume 15, Issue 26, MauiTime

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DECEMBER 15, 2011

Contents VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Christmas ornament

✚

ISSUE 26

COVER: Digi-illustrations by Scrappers scrapperstown.com

Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter DIY enema kit Proofreader: Dina Wilson The vacuum cleaner my mom gave me when I moved to Berkeley on the bus.

Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com A rotting dead bear skin with attached claws and head. Thanks a lot, mom :( Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Animal), Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Steven Hawking Action Figure General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Anything other than Tequila

5 NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY 10 THIS WEEK’S PICKS 25 27 DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID 29 FILM CRITIQUE 34 FILM TIMES 35 KULA KID 36 HOROSCOPE 37 CLASSIFIED 38 39 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 A fugly fishnet w/sequins gifted as a “scarf” Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter

2 1 for

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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RIS HILTON WE BUSTED PAIM IN WITH A MAUIT NEYOU BUST? LAHAINA. WHO CA 4

DECEMBER 15, 2011

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

THIS SPACE FOR OCCUPATION

ply as a “local businesswoman. “They were expressing solidarity with the ‘Occupy Movement’ which began only three months ago and has spread to over 1,500 cities and countries worldwide.”

Levy’s email says that OWS Maui holds “General Assembly meetings” weekly on Wednesdays from 5-7pm on UH Maui College’s “Freedom Lawn.”

“This is democracy in action in its purest form with everyone’s voice being heard in an orderly, positive and focused manner,”

are all worthy subjects of debate and attention. What kind of action they get–beyond discussion on a lawn at the local college–is still apparently a work in progress.

Wow, that Occupy Wall Street thing is really catching on. I refer to it as a “thing” here not to be insulting, but because the DID THE MACHINES disjointed, disparate protests, sit-ins and RISE ON SUNDAY? “occupations” seem to lie somewhere beApparently not, though what actually tween a genuine movement, with a recogdid cause the island’s sudden loss of 911 nizable chain of command, and a swelling emergency, phone and Internet service mob. It’s almost as though it’s a movement on Dec. 11 is still something of a mystery. that wants to be seen as a mob (numerous “The problem appeared press accounts refer to the OWS to have originated after “leaders”–such as they are–ina Hawaiian Telcom colsisting on anonymity). lection of fiberoptic lines Anyway, whatever it is–and in a cable was damaged I still maintain it’s a backlash in Kihei,” The Maui against the failure of our modNews reported on Dec. ern market economy to contin12, citing spokesmen for ue providing greater standards both Hawaiian Telcom of living for each successive and the Maui Police Degeneration, which would expartment. "It could have plain why OWS seems to lack been a brush fire or a a cohesive list of demands that problem with the equipmark other, more traditional ment that damaged the protest movements–it’s growlines..." ing in popularity and ferocity.

That sounds straightNot only are there OWS demforward, except neither onstrations (some broken up Paradise Occupied spokesman chose to tell with disturbing police force) in the News reporter any every major American city, but PHOTO COURTESY OF JUDY LEVY further details. Which lately activists have moved into at least as far as I’m concerned, still leaves the major West Coast ports (but don’t fear: Levy said in the email. “OWS Maui is foopen the possible that an evil artificial inMatson Navigation assured Pacific Business cused on the ‘money out of politics issue’ telligence computer program has faked a News this week that their Oakland facilities and many other local issues that impact planetary Internet virus that knocks out remain OWS-free). our healthy lives here on the Valley Isle. everyone’s cell phones and web access in Yes, OWS certainly seems to be growing, The group has ‘Direct Action Committees’ a cunning plan to trick crusty but benign though from our Maui vantage point, this which are focusing attention on concerns Air Force generals into giving it total conmay be hard to see. There is an active Ocabout: GMO FOODS, SUPPORT FOR ORtrol over our national security apparatus, cupy Wall Steet Maui chapter (if I can call GANIC FARMERS, HONORING THE which it will then use to nuke the planet’s it that), but without a big urban center and AINA, WATER QUALITY & AVAILABILpopulation and then send out an army of major university to help feed membership, ITY, CHEM TRAILS, HOME FORECLOlarge, scary looking robots (at least some it’s kind of a small outfit. Or rather, it’s a SURES AND BUILDING BRIDGES OF of which bear a striking resemblance small grouping of smaller outfits, no one of ALOHA BETWEEN HAWAIIANS AND to former California Governor Arnold which speaks for the whole.

NEWER RESIDENTS.” Schwarzenegger) in a ruthless though This seems to explain the three or four With the exception of “chem trails,” those guys who were, for lack of a better word, “camping” on a small corner of the State Office Building lot a few weeks ago. They had their tents and their signs for a few days, and generally kept to themselves, as far out of the way as they could be while still maintaining some sort of presence on state land.

When a state official told them to leave, they dispersed without incident.

“I didn’t even know they were there,” one County of Maui official told me a couple days after they were rousted.

They shouldn’t feel bad. Maui just isn’t an overtly political place. Most of the population probably tends to agree with their slogans denouncing modern geoeconomics and the influence of money in electoral politics anyway. Still, Occupy Wall Street Maui lives.

“Dedicated Maui citizens of all ages dem-Guy talking at Taco Del Mar in Kahului, Dec. 12, 2011 onstrated with placards on Saturday, December 10th, at Baldwin Beach Park in Paia for INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS DAY,” stated a press release sent out Dec. 12 from Judy Levy, who describes herself sim-

Overheard

“That’s a poster for Big Wednesday, the greatest surfing movie ever made. It was really good in how it dealt with issues like the draft, and it starred that one actor– you know, he was in a car crash and went a little cuckoo. What was his name?”

somewhat cumbersome attempt to “terminate” (if you will) the survivors.

What?

SUGAR ISN'T SWEET While driving through the flat lands that make up the center part of Maui, it’s impossible not to think of the sugar cane that grows over virtually all of it. And when I think of that sugar, my mind naturally wanders to the missionary-inspired Big Five companies that ruled over Hawaii in the 19th century as no monarch ever ruled a kingdom, and then to the modern Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Company, which employs many, many residents in the rough work required to plant, burn and harvest the cane.

Where do they find such workers, I asked myself many times. Then on Dec. 12, while listening to Kate Sheehy’s report on Public

Sugar ain't that sweet

Radio International’s The World program, I realized those guys actually have it good, when compared to their counterparts in, say, Nicaragua.

“Kidney disease has killed so many men here that locals now call their community not simply La Isla–which means ‘The Island’–but La Isla de las Viudas–’The Island of the Widows,’ Sheehy reported. “What the men in the area have in common is they all work in [sugar] farming. So Dr. [Carlos] Orantes thinks a major cause of their kidney damage is the toxic chemicals–pesticides and herbicides–that are routinely used here in agriculture.”

Here on Maui, the cane burns our eyes and our lungs when it’s burned before harvesting. In Nicaragua, it actually kills the men who harvest it. All for a sweetener doctors tell us we eat far too often.

I never knew insanity could taste so sweet. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1526n1

DECEMBER 15, 2011

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 1.

What will Hawaii State Public Library System do on Dec. 20?

A. Open five new branches across the state, including one in Haiku.

B. Purge their library card database of everyone who hasn’t checked something out in the past three years.

C. Purge their library card database of everyone, forcing us all to get new library cards that sport photos and thumbprints.

D. Launch a barrage of nuclear missiles across the globe, paving the way for Skynet to take over the world.

2. Which of the following statements concerning Maui’s hotel room revenue in October is true, according to the Dec. 12, 2011 Pacific Business News?

A. Maui’s average daily room rate rose

nearly nine percent over the same month last year even though occupancy dropped a percentage point from last October.

B. Maui’s average daily room rate fell nearly nine percent over the same month last year even though occupancy dropped just a percentage point from last October.

C. Maui’s average daily room rate rose a percentage point over the same month last year even though occupancy dropped nearly nine percent from last October.

D. Maui’s average daily room rate fell a percentage point over the same month last year even though occupancy rose nearly nine percent from last October.

3. According to a Dec. 12, 2011 Honolulu Civil Beat op-ed piece by Claire Sullivan, who handles purchasing and public affairs for Whole Foods Market’s Hawaii stores, what percentage of the produce sold by Whole Foods in Hawaii comes from Maui farms?

A. 26 percent.

B. 36 percent.

C. 46 percent.

D. 56 percent.

See answers, page 37

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NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

CHINA VALUES EDUCATION

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES

To get to their school, 80 children (aged 6 to 17) in the mountaintop village of Pili, China, near the borders with Tajikistan and Afghanistan, make a 120-mile journey that includes 50 miles on foot or by camel. The most dangerous parts of the route are an inches-wide path cut into a cliff (over a 1,000-foot drop), a 600-footlong zip-line drop and crossings of four freezing rivers (easier in winter when they are frozen solid). The kids must make the chaperoned treks four times a year–coming and going for each of two long sessions. According to one teacher, the kids generally enjoy the adventure.

Factory worker Billy Hyatt, who was fired in 2009 by north Georgia plastics company Pliant Corp., filed a lawsuit in August alleging illegal religious discrimination. Pliant (now called Berry Plastics) required its employees to wear stickers indicating the number of consecutive accident-free days, and March 12, 2009, was the 666th day. When Hyatt refused to wear “the mark of the beast," he was suspended and then fired.

QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENTS

Globally (except in Japan), family-run businesses underperform those run by professional managers. Japanese corporations often seem to have a talented son to take over for his father. The main reason for that, according to an August Freakonomics radio report, is that the family scions usually first recruit an ideal “son” and then adopt him, often also encouraging their daughters to marry the men.

(Japanese adage: “You can’t choose your sons, but you can choose your sons-in-law.”) If the man is already married, sometimes he and his wife will both get adopted. In fact, while 98 percent of U.S. adoptions are of children, 98 percent of Japan’s are of adults.

Each August in Urakawa, Japan, a “hallucination and delusion competition” takes place among visiting alcoholics and sufferers of mental disorders, who in principle are helped by bonding with fellow patients and revealing their failures and successes. The Bethel Festival, named for its sponsor, brings about 600 people together for on-stage presentations (sometimes in the form of song or dance) and awards a grand prize to a standout visitor–one year, to a woman who lived for four days in a public restroom after a voice in her head told her to, and in another year, to a man who had overcome a 35-year stretch of never straying more than two yards from his mother. Some mental-disorder professionals believe the festival is too-easily mockable by insensitive outsiders.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

CREME DE LA WEIRD

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

At an October ceremony in the Satara district in India’s Maharashtra state, 285 girls were allowed to change their names, as each of them had originally been named the Hindi word “Nakusa,” which translates to “unwanted” (expressing their parents’ disappointment at not having had a son). In Satara, only 881 girls are born for every 1,000 boys, reportedly the result of abortion, given the expense of raising a girl (whose family is expected to pay for any wedding and give a dowry to the groom’s family).

SWEDISH JUDGES GET TOUGH A court dismissed charges against two 20-year-old men in October, accused of having bared a passed-out, 18-year-old woman’s breasts at a party and taken photographs.

Since the woman was not “aware” that she was being molested, the act was not a crime, ruled the Stockholm District Court.

THIS WEEK IN DUBAI SEWAGE Dubai is a city of towering, architecturally brilliant skyscrapers, but since all were built only in the last several decades, the city’s central sewer system has not been able to keep up. Consequently, reported NPR’s Fresh Air in November, only a few are hooked up to the municipal system, and the remainder must hire fleets of tanker trucks to carry away the waste water. The trucks then must queue up, sometimes for 24 hours at a time, to dispose of it at treatment plants.

Authorities in Washington County, Ore., said in October that they would not file charges against a very weird 21-year-old woman who had felt compelled, as a tribute to her horse that had just died of old age, to get naked and climb inside the horse’s carcass, to “feel one” with it.

Her boyfriend recorded the extremely bloody adventure with numerous photographs (many showing her smiling joyously), which made their way onto the Internet and available to any viewers with strong stomachs. Said Deputy Sgt. Dave Thompson: “At some point in your career, you say, yeah, I’ve seen a lot of bad stuff [and] you see this kind of picture and you realize maybe you haven’t seen everything.”

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LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINAL A lawyer’s first rule of cross-examination is to never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to, but criminal defendants who act as their own lawyers typically do not get that memo. Philome Cesar, charged with about 25 robberies in the Allentown, Pa., area, began questioning his alleged victims at his trial in November. Please describe, he asked the first, what the robber sounded like. Answered victim Daryl Evans, “He sounded like you.”

After Cesar asked a second victim the same question and received the same answer, he decided to stop cross-examining the victims.

He was convicted of 19 counts. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1526n2

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ey you, middle-aged frumpy gal: You sit on your lanai and chain-smoke all day which means all of your neighbors have to smell your nasty cigarette smoke. We also love watching you fling your lung cookies off the balcony throughout the day. And we can hardly wait for you to go to sleep so we can lie in our beds listening to your cough and hack all night. Please go inside with your trash habits! ■

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We’ll keep this simple.

It’s nearly Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and whatever else people celebrate these days, and you have no idea what to get your friends and family. Look, none of us really like how nakedly commercial the holidays have become, but there are ways to show your love that help locals here on Maui.

To help you out, we’ve compiled the following guide to a sleigh-load of local shops (many of which sell locally made products) that are just itching for your gift-buying business.

Pignataro, Jen Russo and Anu Yagi

By Anthony

ACTIVITIES Satisfy wanderlust on the rock with the gift of action. Watch Mother Nature’s largest mammals frolic in the sea on a Pacific Whale Foundation boat cruise (800-942-5311 ext.1; pacificwhale.org), or a snorkel trip on one of Paragon Sailing Charters’ eco-friendly twin catamarans (800-441-2087; sailmaui.com). Do some rock hopping day tripping with ferry trips on Expeditions to Lanai (800-695-2624; go-lanai.com) and

on the Molokai Princess to the Friendly Isle (866-3076524; molokaiferry.com).

Hunting big game fish on sport fishing vessels from Lahaina and Ma‘alaea harbor is another way to see ocean fish. Prefer to take a hike? Hike Maui (866-324-6284; hikemaui.com) has an incredible reputation for leading the way to the island’s best tours. If traveling is your thing, then Chelsea Hill’s School of Languages will have you speaking in a wide variety of foreign tongues (357-9591; chelsea-hill.com). History lessons are vibrant on Maui Country Farm Tours, where you can go on a guided trek to Maui’s farms and step back in time (283-9131; mauicountryfarmtours.com). Take flight with an aerial tour of the island where you will see sites you can’t get to by foot, wheel or boat. Helicopter tours from Air Maui (Kahului Airport Rd., Kahului; 877-7005; airmaui.com) offer excellent deals for Kama‘aina and packages that cover everything from East Maui to Molokai’s breathtaking North Shore.

ANTIQUES ET ALIA No matter how sustainably made a product might be, the greenest gift-giving route (save fixing something that’s broken) is to buy used items. However thrift, pawn and consignment aren’t without stigma. Simple answer: get

10

DECEMBER 15, 2011

over it. Not-so simple answer: be such a bad-ass second hand shopper, that you change the tune of anyone who’d otherwise turn up their nose. Besides, buying used is cool because the possibilities are as endless as our excess.

Who knows what you might find? For your OCD friend: an antique, glass Clorox bottle. For your DIY Dad: power tools from pawn shops.

For your foodie friend: a vintage rolling pin with Bakelite handles. For your tragically hip hubby: old school aloha shirts and silk ties. For your kid: a pile of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on VHS and a few stuffed animals you can rip the guts out of and turn into puppets. You get the idea. Experienced shoppers know that the best vintage stuff (at prices that won’t make your cringe) is oft found at church-based thrift stores like St. Anthony’s (1627 Mill St., Wailuku; 2427785), St. Joseph’s (1294 Makawao Ave.; 572-9150) and Holy Rosary (954 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-8714). Further, great finds can be had at Haiku’s Keiki Kokua Thrift (810 Haiku Rd.; 573-5393; keikikokua.org), which benefits Maui’s foster care community, and at the expansive Green Garage (400 Hana Hwy., Kahului; 344-2269; greengaragemaui. com). And for all your hard work during the holidays, treat yourself to a swanky new outfit from consignment-esque shops like Elise (310 Alamaha St., Kahului; 89-ELISE; eleiseclothingcompany.com), Bohemia Boutique (105 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-9995) and Rainbow Attic (1881 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-0884; rainbowatticmaui.com).

BEAUTY RETAIL Beautiful sustainable gardens and fields of lavender grow at Alii Kula Lavender Farm (1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-

3004; aklmaui. com). Embellish your body with this beneficial herb with their made in Maui products, which can also be found at Lilikoi Passionate Beauty (18 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6055; lilikoibeauty.com). Lilikoi is a local cosmetics shop specializing in organic, natural and Hawaiian beauty products. They consciously choose to work with products that aren’t tested on animals and with manufacturers that nurture the earth.

Spa gifts like neck rolls you can freeze or microwave heat, scented eye pillows and locally made therapeutic body oils from Green Ti (40 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-8788; greentimaui.com) are perfect moments of gift zen. Go to your local salons for unique and hard to find beauty brands and accesories for hair, visage and body. Health food stores like Hawaiian Moons (2411 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-4356; hawaiianmoons.com), Down to Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 877-2661; downtoearth.org), Mana Foods (49 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-8078; manafoodsmaui.com) and Alive and Well (340 Hana Hwy, Kahului; 877-4950; aliveandwellmaui. com) offer great selections of locally made body products, many containing local herbs and tinctures.

BEAUTY SERVICES Slough off the holiday stress with gifts of therapeutic massage from our local spas. Local salons offer color and cuts, blowouts and updos, and a great way to invest in me-time. Many offer Hawaii’s signature lomi lomi style of long rhythmic flow and natural and locally made oils.

Green Ti (40 N. Market St, Wailuku; 242-8788 and 95 Lipoa St, Kihei; 874-5333; greentimaui.com) offers a massage and facial package that’s affordable at $120.

Maui Zen Spa (181 Lahainaluna Rd.; 661-7200; mauizen.com) offers 10 percent-off gift certificates through the end of this month.

For a more high tech beauty approach, you can opt for gift certificates to anti-aging lasers, microderm abrasions, laser hair removal and botox. There’s Dr. Bennet’s Med Spa (62 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-8979; drbennettsmedspa.com), MediSpa Maui (140 Ho‘ohana St., Kahului; 877-4909 and 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 879-4909; medispamaui.com) and Aloha Dermatology (89 Ho‘okele St., Kahului; 877-6526; aloha-dermatology.com).

For the ultimate spa getaway, may we suggest Maui Spa Retreat (Olinda; 573-8002; mauisparetreat.com). They will have you in therapeutic bliss with a five hour treatment line up at the Olinda spa retreat. Working one-on-one with their team you can really customize anything, from the products they put on your body, to the flow of the treatments, and your exclusive catered lunch. Services include botanical body scrub for exfoliation, time in the sauna to open your pores, body wrap, scalp massage, body massage and facial or foot love. In between treatments you will soak up outstanding views while swimming in the salt pool or enjoying the hot tub hydrating with fresh fruited water. This is your private party, and no one else is allowed at the sanctuary during your beloved time here, except those in your reservation.

BOOZE Nothing takes the edge off of Christmas shopping like a little nip in your eggnog. Even better, do all your shopping at one of Maui’s many local liquor stores, for great customer service and one-on-one spirits advice. Wailea Wine (161 Wailea Ike Pl.; 879-0555; waileawine.com), Rodeo General Store (3661 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-1868) and the Wine Corner (149 Hana Hwy, Paia; 579-8904; mauiwinecorner.com) can help you locate great gifts from the vines. Aloha Discount Liquor (2439 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-8882), Valley Isle Liquor (95 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 875-8753) and Hawaii Liquor Store (270 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 877-8778; hawaiiliquorstore. com) have great liquor gift sets and unique bottles. The Liquor Shack (1143 Makawao Ave.; 572-7775) has the best selection of mini bottles on the island.

With plenty of local liquor to give, the spirits of Maui are gifts by the glass.

Ocean Vodka, Maui Rum, Okolehao, Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum, Pau Vodka and Old Lahaina Rum are all made on Maui products. Maui Brewing Company’s six pack beer flights of bikini blonde, coconut porter, and Big Swell IPA are all craft beers brewed on the Westside. Tedeschi Winery (Ulupalakua; 878-6058; mauiwine.com) has a sparkling rose made in the méthode traditionnelle.

FINE ART Look around at your walls. What do you see? If your answer’s fine art from local artists, give yourself a pat on the back. If your answer’s cliche, mass produced prints from Walmart or Ross–devoid of any texture or life (and likely without royalty to the artist)–well, we won’t hold it against

Sandell Artworks on the corner of Wailuku Main and Market Streets.) But for a broad range of medium and style, we suggest you check out any one of Maui Hands’s four islandwide locations (Paia, Makawao, Lahaina and Kaanapali; mauihands.com), and the Hui No’eau’s stunning Hui Holidays (Nov. 21-Dec. 24), an chic annual tradition which “features works by Hui artists in jewelry, ceramics, prints, fiber, photography, glass and paintings, plus handmade ornaments.”

FLOWER POWER Some people have everything–or at least, need nothing. And those people usually have a few nice vases sitting empty in a cupboard somewhere. So what to get for the hostess with (literally) the mostest? Flowers! (Yep. Mauigrown flowers are more than a mail-order gift to make your Milwaukee friends jealous–though that’s fun, too.) If you’re looking for something traditional–plus Mylar balloons and gift baskets–there’s no place quite like Kahului Florist (Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 877-3951; kahuluiflorist.com), a Central Maui company that has served Maui for more than 30 years.

But if your inner Martha Stewart is clawing to get out at Christmastime, try creating your own arrangements by buying grower-direct (it’s a good thing). Some of our favorites include Upcountry’s Paradise Flower Farms (331 Ihe Pl., Kula; 878-2591; paradiseflowerfarms.com), a great place to buy-by-the-bloom for lei making, and protea Anuhea Flowers (3643B Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 1-888-3251988; anuheaflowers.com). Or why not drive the road to Hana (hey, it beats battling mall parking lots) and stock up from roadside stands and businesses like Nahiku Tropicals (nahikutropicals. com), ‘Ohana Lei and Flower (ohanaflower.com) and Hana Fantasy Flowers (hanafantasyflowers. net). For more, check out the Maui Flower Growers’ Association’s beautiful website (mauiflower.com) which has information about flower types, farm tours and a list of their members.

FOOD Maui is rich with locally made foods, but why not start with the earth’s bounty? Kula Fields (280-2099; kulafields. com) offers gift boxes for the holidays, amazing boxes of fresh fruits and veggies grown here. Maui Grown Coffee (277 Lahainaluna Rd.; 661-2728; mauigrowncoffee.com) has coffee grown on the West Maui slopes, and Maui Cofyou. But we do recommend you at least attempt to decorate with more character. See, surrounding yourself with art you love–and art that was made with love–is enriching.

However, enjoying art is such a personal experience–so it’s not exactly the sort of thing frivolously given to just whomever during the holidays. But it is great for a spouse or house partner with whom you have a shared, sympathetic understanding of aesthetic. Heck, make it date and select it together!

Look, we’re not saying you’ve gotta be the Vogels or anything. But more than a rug that ties the room together, a real piece of art by a real artist can transform a space. Nervous?

Start small. There are price points for every budget. You can’t turn a corner on Maui without finding a studio, gallery or boutique that features a local artists’ work and we encourage you to scour them all. (For something truly unique and historically steeped–including nonpareil T-shirts and poster prints–visit

Continued on page 13

DECEMBER 15, 2011

11

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Continued from page 11

fee Roasters (444 Hana Hwy, Kahului; 800-6452877; mauicoffeeroasters. com) has several Kona estate coffees to choose among, plus free shipping through the end of this month. Wailuku Coffee Company (26 N. Market St., Wailuku; 495-0259) has coffee gift packs and mugs, shop while you pick up your morning cup of joe.

Everybody lights up with a box of baked goods, with so many famous local Maui Grown Coffee bakeries on Maui firing up your oven is optional. Leoda’s (820 Olowalu Village Rd.; 662-3600; leodasolowalu.com) features loaves of fluffy artisan breads and amazing little pies, like graham cracker crust banana cream pie and a chocolate fudge caramel macadamia that is nearly as addicting as cocaine. Pastries and cream puffs from Komoda Bakery (3674 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-7261) are so famous for gifting that they have their own Facebook app. Maui Bake Shop (2092 W. Vineyard St., Wailuku; 242-0064) has delicious holiday cookie assortments, fresh fruit tarts and specialty French patisserie items. The Four Sisters Bakery (1968 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku; 244-9333) makes malasada and butter rolls by the dozen, while Homemaid Bakery’s (1005 L. Main St., Wailuku; 244-7015) famous flaky Manju and jelly roll cakes are coveted island-wide.

Sweet Paradise Chocolatier (34 Wailea Gateway Pl.; 344-1040; sweetparadisechocolate.com) makes chocolates that are gorgeous edible works of art and amazing boxed assortments. Maui Specialty Chocolates (180 E. Wakea, Kahului; 871-1222; mauispecialtychocolates.com) has spectacular dark chocolate peanut butter cups and nut clusters, and Wowee Candy Bars are made in Wailuku and found at food stores island wide. For a different kind of chocolate, the Surfing Goat Dairy (3651 Omaopio Rd., Kula; 878-2870; surfinggoatdairy.com) makes truffles from goat cheese, which packs their chocolates with additional health benefits. You can also pick up some of their goat cheese in over 10 different flavors and textures.

There is no better way to savor the flavors of the island than by giving gift certificates to local restaurants. Universally people love to eat, but here on Maui we take eating to the next level: destination dining is an art form.

Town, and lots of local boutiques and galleries pay homage to the host culture by selling some Hawaiiana wares.

Aunty Leona (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului, 873-7955) has recently reopened Maui Creations at the Maui Mall. Hawaiian moon calendars, precious Hawaiian warrior weapons, tahitian pearls and authentic artisan goods are all back.

Get a free book: Life in the Pacific of the 1700’s with a ten dollar purchase too.

There’s no shop quite like Native Intelligence (45 N. Market St., Wailuku; 249-2421). While many other places have a broad art gallery niche or pander too much to tourists, the elegant air and offerings of Native Intelligence are discernibly bona fide. Whatever you need, they’ve got it–including lau hala and Ni’ihau shell jewelry, exquisite decorative weapons, fine hula implements, apparel, fresh lei and local literature.

HEAD SHOPS Priorities being what they are, there are practical gifts like socks and toiletries– and then there are very practical gifts like smoking implements. Tobacco smoking implements, of course. One nice thing about the practicality of tobaccy tools–unlike boring socks–is how perfectly unpractical they can seem.

A water pipe slide cut like a crystal as big as the Hope Diamond? Ridiculous, yes–but indispensable. A handcrafted glass creation that looks like a crustacean? It’s a piece–and a piece of art! Never mind that stuff like papers, screens and incense make for great stocking-stuffers. And further: window dressings. While some might think a place like Pier 1 is the only outlet at which to get quality curtains, never underestimate the awe-inspiring aesthetic of a Bob Marley flag and thumbtacks.

Mainstays, like newly expanded Westside Vibes (1087 Limahana Pl., Lahaina; 667-1900; @Westsidevibes on Twitter), Hawaiian Holy Smokes (320 Okukai Rd., Kihei; 879-2826; hawaiiianholysmokes.com) and Maui Mana (1794 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-7881) can hook you up with the isle’s best selections; but never underestimate the offerings of more quaint locations like Psychedelic Emporium (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 281-5928), Hemp House (16 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-8880), Alice In Hulaland (19 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-9922; aliceinhulaland.com),

HAWAIIANA Warning: if you gift fauxwaiiana (you know, touristy crap that boasts Hawaii’s name though it’s made anywhere but), a gang of menehune will waddle into your bedroom at night and eat your eyeballs. We trust you’d like to keep your sense of sight (and anyway, we obviously made up that menehune stuff–which is a shame, really), in which case we have good news: authentic artisans abound at craft fairs from Lahaina’s Banyan Tree to Hana

Lava Rock Pipe from Still Smokin

Still Smoking (Above Blackies Pit Stop in Kihei; 8741040), Haiku Smoke Shop (810 Haiku Rd.; 250-7556) and Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-9315; @ RequestsHI on Twitter).

HIPPIE STUFF When settles the storm of things untied from their strings, children oft play more with the cardboard that boxed their gifts than the gifts themselves (both to the chagrin and amusement of their lightened-wallets adults). But give a kid

Crystal from Green Lotus

something of substance that ignites their imagination–say, a fascinating rock or two–and you might find you’ve captured their interest. It may sound boring at first, but think of how good you’ll feel when your inspire future gem-or geologists, thanks to that fateful Christmas afternoon spent pondering the coruscating cavities of geodes glinting in the Hawaiian sun, and the great Goldilocks luck of a fossil that’s millions– if not billions–of years old!

Great places to get treasures of the Earth are Green Lotus (1816 Mill St., Wailuku; 244-2300), Crystal Dreams (Maui Mall, 70 E. Ka‘aahumanu Ave., Kahului; 877-2158), and Lotus Heart Gifts (Temple of Peace, 575 Haiku Rd.; 575-5220). These hippie hubs are obviously geared for adults of the esoteric edge–so while you’re there, you can take care of the hermetic homies on your list, too.

JEWELRY Status. Symbolism.

Security.

Whether a protective amulet, practical accessory or purely for adornment, jewelry serves a lot of functions–and has for ten millennia (the BBC reports that an international research team identified the “earliest known pieces of jewelery,” as being tiny, 100,000-year-old shell beads “from Skhul Cave on the slopes of Mount Carmel in Israel”). Though it goes without saying, jewelry is a timetested way to say you care–after all, diamonds are a girl’s best friend (in which case, shows you really, really care).

Being that it’s such a comely commodity, jewelry can be found nearly anywhere and at any price point. Most local boutiques, galleries, farmers’ markets and community fairs (heck, even gas stations like Uptown Chevron, 2085 Main St., Wailuku) offer styles from metalwork to beaded items; and, seeing as we’re in Hawaii Nei, jewelry made with scads of shells and seeds, and (as the trends have dictated of late), flocks-worth of feathers. A lot–if not most–of these items are made by local artisans; and if you’re ever unsure, simply ask sales associates.

But there’s something to be said for the panache of a dedicated jewelry store–and certainly for a true blue jeweler (who can do custom work and repair or resize heirlooms). If that’s what you’re after, look no further than Maui Topaz Goldsmith & Gallery (Dolphin Plaza, 2395 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-5877; mauitopaz.com), a mom and pop biz helmed for more than two decades by David Fairclough (a silver-and goldsmith) and his wife Nancy. Too, there’s Treasure Imports (22 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-7202) and JS Kuge & Sons Jewelers (737 L. Continued on page 15

DECEMBER 15, 2011 13

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Palm Tree Pendant from MAUI DIVERS JEWELRY

Main St., Wailuku; 244-4961).

Furthermore, a couple local companies have risen to the upper echelons of jewelry manufacturing. Maui Divers Jewelry (six island-wide locations; mauidivers.com) had humble beginnings when founded in Lahaina in the late 1950s, but today the company boasts being â&#x20AC;&#x153;the largest manufacturer of precious coral jewelry in the world, as well as the largest jewelry manufacturer in the state of Hawaii,â&#x20AC;? and every piece is â&#x20AC;&#x153;handcrafted, from design sketch to final stone settingâ&#x20AC;? in Honolulu. Meanwhile, Na Hoku (nine islandwide locations; nahoku.com) began in 1924 and now has 69 locations across the country. National Jeweler, a prominent industry magazine, ranks Na Hoku #11 of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Top 50 North American Retail Chainsâ&#x20AC;? (by units)â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a list which otherwise includes Zale Corp. (#1), Helzberg Diamonds (#4), Tiffany & Co. (#7) and Ben Bridge Jeweler (#10).

KEIKI APPAREL

Even if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have time to step foot in a store you can leave the Christmas work up to the elfin workshops at Etsy and still support Maui biz. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;shop localâ&#x20AC;? button on Etsy.com is genius: you can dial it down to artisans of your own zip code. There was a mind-blowing 3,361 items from a Maui zip code check. Coveted items from the 96761 included a tiki notebook from Themoaagent store and koa and mango wood paddles.

Dollzfordays makes ornate decorated and studded bras in Kahului, and Kihei surprised me with handmade aloha print doll clothes and beautiful handmade cards. Haiku was on fire with hand blown glass sculpture, herbal smoking blend, and clever leather cuffs by Robinsapparel. The opihi earrings by NalaniZ and twilight inspired bookmarks of Babyblowblingnthings made Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s list among the 915 items in Makawao.

Etsy isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only place to find online local businesses. The nature inspired florals, popular â&#x20AC;&#x153;leiâ&#x20AC;? shirt, and polynesian honu designs on high quality cotton are some of the Maui inspired screen print and airbrush clothing at ajja.com and kapua.com, but you can drop in on them at Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Swap Meet on Saturdays, too.

Eddie Tanaka shares his 30 years on Molokai with his album release Mystical Molokai. Hoping that this musical manao of his memories will create memorable moments in time for you, Tanakaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first album is diverse, with songs both in Hawaiian and English. Try listen before you buy at mysticalmolokai.com, and talk story with Tanaka on facebook.com/mysticalmolokai.

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at Oh Baby (706 Front St., Lahaina; 6670707) where you will also find one-of-akind hand painted onesies, and small sized jewelry. The Maui Swap Meet at UH Maui College on Saturday mornings also offers plenty of crafty artists creating unique childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothing and accessories.

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Ri Lala garments for girls are â&#x20AC;&#x153;fits for a modern princess,â&#x20AC;? according to the company (rilala.com or etsy.com/shop/Rilala).

They offer bright designer fabrics in dresses, princess crowns, pillows, totes, pettiskirts and wands.

Maui Thing (7 N. Market St., Wailuku; 249-0215; mauithing.com) onesies tuned my offspringâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fashion sense, and by age four the tiny fashionista was asking for Maui Thing by name. Fun designs that play on words, nature and images entertain and delight child and adult, boys and girls alike.

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No one need shop for menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s apparel very long before running into the inescapable conclusion that there are approximately 10 womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boutiques on the planet for every Continued on page 17

.com DECEMBER 15, 2011 15

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ALOHA SHIRTS FROM HIM

men’s wear shop. It’s daunting arithmetic for someone wanting to get that special guy a special shirt or pair of trousers or whatever guys wear today besides shorts and t-shirts (living on Maui will do that to a guy), but even on this rock you can find some great local shops that offer great duds.

Like HIM (4310 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., #112, Kahana; 669-2529; himmaui.com), which for the last four years has been both inconveniently located way out in Kahana and a fantastic source for really sharp men’s shirts, both aloha and plain. They’ve got Tommy Bahama shirts (some of it Santa Claus-related) and a sizable supply of colorful, yet stylish aloha shirts from the Hawaiian brand Kahala.

These are the real deal–not those inside-out banker’s shirts but classy, comfortable Hawaiian shirts. Of course, true fans can also check out the Kahala store in Ka‘anapali (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka‘anapali Parkway; 661-0963).

Those wanting well-made, local-feel shirts but who aren’t really into the flash of traditional aloha wear should check out Aloha Cowboy (3643 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 573-8190; alohacowboy.net), one of the few purveyors on the island for paniolo-style palaka shirts. These checkered blue and white denim shirts were standard kit for the island’s plantation and ranch workers from the late 19th century to present day.

MUSEUMS

of the island’s museum gift shops. It’s not the Bishop Museum, but the quaint Bailey House Museum (2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 244-3326; mauimuseum.org) in Wailuku offers a solid helping of art and artifact for the culturally aware on Maui. And their gift shop is the island’s best source for old photos of Hawaii and King David Kalakaua, posters showing royal Hawaiian lineage, unframed prints of art by Edward Bailey himself and copies of Maui writer Linda Decker McCullough’s new biography Edward Bailey of Maui.

Perhaps you’re in the mood for something a bit more nautical. Maui may not have a lot of book stores, but the Pacific Whale Foundation store (300 Ma‘alaea Rd., Suite 211; 249-8977; pacificwhale.org) offers tons of whale and sea books. There’s Moby Dick

by Herman Melville, of course, but also K. L. Evan’s Whale!, which interprets Melville’s classic as an example of Ludwig Wittgenstein’s political philosophy, which I’m assuming we’re all thoroughly briefed on.

Speaking of whales, who can forget the

HAPPY

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Baily House gift shop

Whalers Village Museum gift shop (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy; 661-4567; whalersvillage.com/museum.htm)? They have smartset stuff like the beyond-authoritative Mapping the Lands and Waters of Hawaii

by Riley Moffat and Gary L. Fitzpatrick, but also cool stuff like reasonably priced Hawaiithemed stamps, beach glass bracelets and sea life prints. Plus they validate your parking at the museum regardless of whether you make a purchase! Sweet!

MUSIC

Those who want something a bit more intellectual would do well to check out some

“[F]or virtually all of us, music has great power, whether or not we seek it out or think of ourselves as particularly musical,” writes Oliver Sacks, M.D., author of Musicophilia (named by The Washington Post as one of the best books of 2007). “This propensity to music–this “musicophilia”–shows itself in infancy, is manifest and central in every culture, and probably goes Continued on page 19

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DECEMBER 15, 2011

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back to the very beginnings of our species.â&#x20AC;?

The point weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to make, via dear Dr. Sacks, is that you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go wrong with the gift of music. However, if humans have been making music since proverbial Adam and Eve, the ensuing selectionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s array will leave any shopper spoilt for choice. Never mind that the spectrum of added challenges spans from knowing loved ones who already own every one of their favorite bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s albums, singles, limited editions and imports (and each on vinyl, cassette, eight track, CD and MP3, no less)â&#x20AC;&#x201C;or, not knowing loved ones well enough to know what the hell theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like in the first place (shame on you).

Enter Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-9315; @RequestsHI on Twitter)â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last legit record store. The handful of guys who man the shop have worked there for years (never mind that most of them moonlight as DJs and musicians)â&#x20AC;&#x201C;so they know their shit. Whatever the sound youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in search of, if Requests canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help you, no one can.

But then there are those on our gift lists for whom listening to music only fuels the fire to create it. To these tortured, talented souls we say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;you suck.â&#x20AC;? Kidding. We only say that around the holidays because instruments, their accoutrements, and lessons can be damned expensive. Then again, the worth of their art is pricelessâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;as is shopping locallyâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;so make like a Mastercard commercial at Bounty Music (111 Hana Hwy., Kahului; 871-1141; ukes.com), Mele Ukulele (1750 Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ahumanu Ave., Wailuku; 244-3938; meleukulele.com), and Maui Music Conservatory (Queen Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ahumanu Ave., Kahului; 893-0707).

PET SUPPLIES

of gourmet treats, tools and spa products, not to mention all the goodies for throwing the pet pawty ragers. Westside Pet Supply (910 Honoapiâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ilani Hwy, Lahaina; 667-2662) has established itself as one stop shopping that keeps you from going to the other side. If itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pampering your pooch needs, then bring them to the Salty Dog grooming salon (313 N. Market St., Wailuku; 249-2525). Doggie toothbrushing, a blow out, neck scarf, manicures and pedicures will have Fido smelling so sweet you might forget heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a dog.

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Want someone to take walks with on the beach, cuddle up with on the couch and who will adore you unconditionally? It sounds too good to be true, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not. That someone awaits adoption at the Maui Humane Society (1350 Mehameha Loop, Puâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;unene; 8773680; mauihumane.org), be it furry, feline, canine, feathered or reptilian. Not ready for commitment? The Hawaii Wildlife Fund (wildhawaii.org/adopt.html) lets you adopt without actually keeping up with regular feedings. Your only arrangement is contributing to the protection of sea turtles, monk seals, dolphins, whales or coral reefs.

UH Hiloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beekeeping program has an altogether sweeter adoption program, though it comes with a queen and stinger. Their Adopt a Hive program starts at $300 and you receive reports from the lab and a quart of honey from the Hilo farm (uhfoundation.org).

Donations of a more human kind are being taken at the Ke Hale a Ke Ola homeless shelter in Wailuku through Tuesday Dec. 20 (670 Waiale Rd., Wailuku; 242-7600; khako. org). They are looking to fulfill the Christmas wishes of teens, ages 12 to 17: mainly, gift certificates to all the cool, locally owned stores and restaurants.

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SURF WEAR/GEAR There is no better way to show you love for your pet companions then getting them gourmet treats, sassy outfits, and their favorite toys. Keep your purchases local and some even locally sourced by shopping at your local boutique pet shop. Pouchi Couture (400 Hana Hwy, Kahului; 893-2275; pouchicouture.com) has hard to find and high quality pet harnesses and, well, canine couture.

Birkin and Baileyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Too (1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-9805) has an amazing selection

As most people whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve driven more than 15 seconds in any direction around here, Maui has a lot of surf shops. Lots and LOTS of shops that specialize in surf wear and surf gear. Listing all of them would be tantamount to cataloguing every star in space, or every grain of sand at Big Beach. But there are a few local shops that deserve mention.

Like HI Tech Surf Sports (425 Koloa St., Kahului; 888-717-0683; surfmaui.com).

When you walk into a surf shop, and the first thing you see in the cavernous space is an

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TOYS The best Christmas shopping is, of course, for the keiki. Toy shopping for children, especially little innocent toddlers who (Spoiler Alert!) haven’t yet discovered that Santa Claus is a big fat lie, can be a truly magical experience. For these kids, there’s no better source of joy than the Cute and Cuddly Baby Boutique (Maui Mall, 70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului; 893-0025). They have a legendary selection of beautiful, classic wooden toys (and some organic rubber ones as well).

For those kids just starting to read, it’s

WHEELS And for the truly wealthy, may we suggest a new car? See, a friend recently asked me if people really buy cars for gifts at Christmas as we were watching one of those commercials.

I’m thinking it must be true for those that can pay, but where do you get those giant bows?

While the one percent-ers are probably thinking of sleeker sexier cars-as-Christmas-gifts, Maui Scion (320 Hana Highway, Kahului; 877-2781; mauiscion.com) has a new Scion iQ that makes a bigger, brainier statement with its tiny stature and great gas mileage.

You can pretty much park in any tight spot with this micro subcompact, and the interior cockpit features all the electronic bells and whistles you expect from Toyota. At first glance it looks like a two-door, two-seater, but the split-fold rear seats can either hold passengers or cargo. The IQ test scores high for their sexy remote keyless entry system, too.

Trying to eliminate your carbon footprint?

Change your commute to a bike ride. A bike can provide endless hours of screen-free

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old Volkswagen Beetle (with two surf boards stuck on its roof) mounted upside-down on the ceiling 20 or so feet above acres of shorts, t-shirts and surf boards, you know you’re in a special place.

A couple blocks away from HI Tech is Hawaiian Island Surf and Sport (415 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 871-4981; hawaiianisland.com), which is a favorite of MauiTime’s Best of Maui voters. While lacking in the ceiling-mounted motor vehicle department, Hawaiian Island is certainly not lacking in surf boards of all shapes and sizes. They’ve also got tons of shorts and bikinis and even a selection of those neat little video cameras people like to mount on the nose of their boards for their YouTube fans.

Anyone wanting to shop in something less than a superstore should check out The Foam Company (Maui Mall, 70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului; 873-7833; thefoamco.com), which is something of an authority on body boards.

They have lots, in addition to a solid stock of board shorts and shirts.

best that you head upcountry to (of all places) the Ulupalakua Ranch Store (Located in downtown Ulupalakua; 878-2561; ulupalakuaranch.com/store.htm). It’s one of the best local spots around that carry the wonderful children’s book Ka‘imi’s First Round-Up, the story of a local Maui boy learning about horses and ranches from his paniolo dad that was written by Maui News reporter Ilima Loomis.

One surprising local spot to find toys for youngsters is Party Paradise (Maui Mall, 70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului; 871-5131).

They’ve got your foam darts, stuffed Angry Birds and even small practical joke items that never get old (when you’re 12). Older kids will find much more of interest in Island Hobbies (230 Hana Hwy #10A, Kahului; 873-0376; islandhobbies.com), a small hole in the wall that specializes in radio-controlled cars (and some planes) and paintball.

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afternoon enjoyment and a source of transportation for kids, too. West Maui Cycles (1087 Limahana Pl., Lahaina; 661-9005; westmauicycles.com) has bikes to fit every size, shape and purpose, and can make your two wheeled match. South Maui Bicycles (1993 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-0068; southmauibicycles.com) is also a full service sales, service and rental shop.

WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S APPAREL

The workshop at Wings Hawaii (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-3110; wingshawaii. com) is full steam ahead for the holidays. This little shop that could survived getting their front door slammed in by an errant driver, so ignore the plywood window dressing and support locally designed, locally sewn fashions and jewelry. Paia has the best square footage of great apparel and locally owned boutiques, bring your Christmas list and get busy at Maui Girl (12 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 800-579-9266; maui-girl.com) Alice in Hulaland (19 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-9922; aliceinhulaland.com), Hemp House (16 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 800-716-8880; hemphousemaui.com), Tamara Katz (83 Hana Hwy, Paia; 579-9184; tamaracatz.com), Biasa Rose (104 Hana Hwy, Paia; 579-8602) and Nuage Bleu (76 Hana Hwy, Paia; 5799792; nuagebleu.com).

Up in Makawao, the Gypsy styles give way to a more upcountry and paniolo feel but plenty of locally owned aesthetic to go around. Pink by Nature (3663 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-9576), Collections (3677 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 5720781), Holiday & Co. (3681 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-1470) and Mercantile (3673 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-1407) are bastions of Makawaoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boutique scene with select handbags, shoes and apparel.

On the Westside, newcomer LeRu Atelier (505 Front St., #203,Lahaina; 6612741; loveleru.com) has her own urban island chic style going on while neighbor Hula Gypsy (505 Front St., #204, Lahaina; 2809914; hulagypsy.com) features a more whimsical fairytale vintage fashion. Blue recently opened on Wainee and Lahainaluna with inexpensive and on trend dresses, separates, shoes and accessories. Women Who Run with Wolves (4310 L. Honoapiâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ilani Rd., Kahana; 665-07786; womenwhorunwithwolves.com) has stylish yoga and exercise

wear, plus great brands of knits in classic cuts. In sunny Lahaina there are lots of local bikini boutiques to choose from too: Pakaloha (815 Front St., Lahaina; 661-6888; pakaloha.com), Aloha Swim & Golf (2580 Kekaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;a Dr., #M-1, Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;anapali; 661-1929) and San Lorenzo (640 Front St., Lahaina; 6618489; sanlorenzobikinis.com) to name a few.

Mahina has three locations across the island (mahinamaui.com). Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s three times the handbags, shoes and clothing to covet.

Surfer girls beach-inspired apparel at Honolua Surf Co. which is also found island-wide (honoluasurf.com). In Kahului, Hi Tech (425 Koloa St., Kahului; 877-2111; surfmaui.com) and Second Wind (111 Hana Hwy, Kahului; 877-7467; secondwindmaui.com) have great brands and equipment for the ladies.

Serendipity (serendipitymaui.com) supplies womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothing island-wide in their Indonesian import batiks prints.

Get luxe looks for the holidays at Enchantress (Shops of Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.; 891-6360; mauienchantress. com) where sparkles and baubles go over the top glitz. Sisterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Co. (Shops of Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.; 874-0003; sistersandco.com) has the best of both worlds: great clothes and a salon.

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Maui is also home to a few locally handcrafted shoes. Michael Mahnensmithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Island Sandals (658 Front St., Lahaina; 661-5110; islandsandals.com) sells handmade leather sandals that Jesus would have worn. The design is actually 3,000 years old, requires no metal parts and is custom-fit to your feet. Cobbler Teri Edmonds is launching her new Hot Biskit line this month out of her boutique If the Shoe Fits (21 N. Market St., Wailuku; 249-9710; hotbiskitshoes.com).

The shoes are custom-made for the clientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feet, and supplies are limited. The Shoe Fetish (225 Piikea Ave., Kihei; 874-8111 and 900 Front St., Lahaina; 661-3400) doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cobble shoes but these locally owned stores have an eclectic selection of footwear, including ones with toes. â&#x2013; To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1526L Comment on this story at mauitime.com

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PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 SLACK KEY TIME! EXCELLENT! - Cooler-than-cool ool Uncle George Kahumoku Jr. hosts his signature show, opens. This ing with his stellar musical and storytelling talents. month showcases Grammy Award-winning artists Daniel Ho and singer n’ actress Tia Carrere (of Wayne’s World tory fame). $25 standard / $45 VIP with artist talk-story CC session. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC W (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

PHOTO BY SHANE TEGARDEN

TAPPED OUT - Because “plastics are the most common type of pollution in the ocean and on beaches in Hawaii,” (surfrider.org/maui) local heroes at the Surfrider Foundation Maui Chapter present a free screening of the award-winning doco, Tapped. This hip flick explores what moral vs. market issues arise when communities’ access to clean, fresh water is usurped as a salable commodity–and the startling ecological fallout from the waste it creates. Tapped is a must-see film for everyone who loves the isles from mauka-to-makai, and is concerned about the environment and water rights. Free. 5pm. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center (726 S. Kihei Rd.); surfrider.org/maui / tappedthemovie.com

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 ROOTS, ROCK, HOLIDAY - “Family fun and kinship is the name of the game at the ROOTS Fourth Annual Holiday Show,” a benefit for Huelo’s ROOTS Maui– a unique school that “provide[s] educational and learning programs that allow children to think independently, engage collaboratively, make connections across disciplines, realize their talents, and apply their learning in the world.” Entertainment includes rock tunes by The Uncalled Fors, Japanese/Indian dancer Akari Ueoka, Hawaiian music and hula with Wesley Furumoto, African songs with Sundance and Windcloud, silk aerialist Esti, singer/songwriter Kate Griffiths, kids’ music of the rain forest with Neshi, Gabriel & Friends, Sammy & His Band and Shiner & The Aloha Camp. Keiki activities include face painting, picture frameand clay figurine-building, painting and beading. $15 adults / $7 keiki. 5-9pm.

Studio Maui (810 Haiku Rd.); 250-7988; rootsmaui.com

BEATS BAZAAR PRESENTS NICKODEMUS - Hailing from New York City, Nickodemus is a global funk maestro with dozens of remixes and compilations to his credit; and since 1998 he’s been the resident DJ and producer of NYC’s Turntables on the Hudson. Of his latest full-length album, Wax Poeticss magazine ummer of raves, “Riding high on a whirlwind energy of world beats, Sun People sounds like a steamy summer bright nights and breaking dawns. Simply put, this is hot.” While he spins his originals, it’ll all be made sorganic by Carlos of Monkeys with Drums, who accompanies Nickodemus with live percussion. Plus, BiOniC LoVe SoUnDSyStEm’s DJ Boogiemeister brings “shamanic global beats n’ dubwise organic music treats” as will Valerie the Vibe Goddess from San Diego. And as is the case with every sure-to-sell-out Beats Bazaar production, patrons will enjoy the visual alchemy of VJ Douglas Deboer and live painting by Melissa Bruck. Ten percent of proceeds benefits Critical Beats’ mission to build a multimedia lab for a native Shuar tribe. $15. 9:30pm.

Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); facebook.com/beatsbazaar / criticalbeats.org

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17 80 KING OF THE BLOCK CAR SHOW AND AFTER 808 PA PARTY - Promoted by Xplicit, HI State and Lifestyles Ente tertainment, this car show in the Ale House’s parking lot (7 (7:30pm; no cover) features musician Palolo’s Finest and is fo followed by a big, boogie-down bash (10pm; $10) with DJ Ko Kollision, k.s.k., and Boss Lady Entertainment’s angel go-go da dancers. If sick engines and sexy entertainment aren’t enough to fire you up, consider the drink specials which include $4 G Grey Goose mixed drinks and $3 Heinekens. Chee hoo! Ale H House (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 877-9001

MEET THE AUTHOR OF SMALL ISLAND’S “STEAMY ACTION AND HARD-BOILED SUSPENSE”! - Anthony Pignataro, investigative reporter. You know might know him as the guy who edits MauiTime (you know, the newspaper you’re now reading), but did you know he also writes books? Yeppers. If you love him–or hate him–the best date n’ place to meet him in person is today at Barnes & Noble, where he’ll be autographing copies of his new novel Small Island.

Pignataro says Small Island is an “old-timey noirish tale of intrigue, violence and sex” which was inspired by the “personalities, places and events encountered while living on Maui.” OK, while you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, its first line certainly says a lot: “You know she used to be a porn star or something.” Intrigued? You should be. 2-4pm. Barnes & Noble (Lahaina Gateway, 205 Keawe St.); anthony@mauitime.com

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18 SANTA CLAUS TRADES REINDEER FOR OUTRIGGER - Jolly Ol’ St. Nick’s swapping Prancer & Co. for paddles, and will land at Hula Grill today–marking his 17th annual visit to this popular restaurant. He’ll be taking requests from keiki (you know, ‘cause that’s Santa’s job), posing for pictures and doling out candy canes to all the kids on the Nice list. Plus, Hula Grill hosts cookie-and ornament-decorating for all da ‘ohana. 4:45pm. Hula Grill (Whalers Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 667-6636; hulagrill.com

A CHRISTMAS CONCERTO WITH HARP, CHOIR, SOPRANO AND ORGAN - Elegant harpist Tatyana Shapiro and friends present a special Christmas concert featuring classical selections by Bach, Mozart and Caccini, among others–and all at a historic church that boasts Maui’s only real organ.

$10 suggested donation. 3pm. Makawao Union Church (500 Baldwin Ave.); 344-9046; music@harpisttatyana.com

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19 BEER FESTIVAL - We at MauiTime staff like our brew and know you do, too. So we’re sure you’ll be stoked to know about the 2011 Beer Festival at the new West side eatery, Honu Seafood & Pizza.

The grinds include the restaurant’s signature pizza, plus fried oysters and chickpeas, as well as ahi bruschetta–all paired with 13 beers like Porterhouse Oyster Stout (from the UK), Hitachino Red Rice Ale (from Japan) and Oro di Milano Doppio Malto (from Italy). $49. 6pm.

Honu (1295 Front St., Lahaina); 667-9390

MAUI ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS’ WINTER CAMP MAPA’s winter break camps kick off today, with the first of two installments of its drama camp with instructors Francis Tau’a and Tina Kailiponi, plus its ballet camp, led by ballet mistress Barry Brinker Jones.

And next week marks the start of MAPA’s dance camp–which teaches “skills in ballet, tap, hip hop, memorization, flexibility, coordination and teamwork”–taught by Jennifer Owen. If your keiki still need a little peerinspiration to get him or her hip to the idea of taking classes during their

winter vacation, take them to the Queen Kaahumanu Center tonight (7pm; free) where MAPA dance students will show off their moves.

$150-175 tuition. Drama camp runs Dec. 19-23 or Dec. 26-30, 9am-2pm (for keiki five-to nine-years-old); Dance camp runs Dec. 26-30 (for keiki six-to 10-years-old), 9am2pm; Ballet camp runs Dec. 19-23, 9am-12pm (for keiki 11-years-old and older). For more information, call 2448760 or visit mauiacademy.org

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20 BRENTON KEITH & HIS BAG O’TRICKS Ever-energetic funny man Brenton Keith brings boisterous, family friendly table-side magic to Mulligan’s on the Blue. His act’s worth paying a cover for, but you’re in luck: it’s free! 7-8pm.

Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com / magicbrent.com

SCUBA CLAUS SWIMS WITH SHARKS - If sitting on a stranger’s lap freaks-out your keiki (as it probably should), try this novel option: Throughout the Maui Ocean Center’s “12 Days of Fish-mas” (Dec. 14-25), Scuba Claus and Elf host the aquarium’s interactive Dive Link presentations (at, or rather, in their Open Ocean Exhibit).

These special guests don special dive masks that allow them to communicate with the audience from underwater, so kids can relay their Christmas wish lists. Free

with aquarium admission. 11am with Scuba Claus. 3pm with Elf. Maui Ocean Center (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 270-7000; mauioceancenter.com

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21 IT DON’T MEAN A THING IF IT AIN’T GOT THAT SWING - The Aloha Ballroom Dance Academy is an educational 501(c)(3) dance school, and as part of their yearlong charitable mission, hosts a gift drive for youth at Ka Hale A Ke Ola and Na Hale O Wainee Homeless Resource Centers. Generous folks who wish to donate can deliver their wrapped gifts (with a secure label indicating gender and age range) to the Kihei Community Center during the academy’s Wednesday evening classes. “Traditionally, we have collected more than we need for the younger kids and considerably less than we need for the older kids,” says professional dance instructor Rita O’Connor. “So please don’t forget the teens. Many of the older kids, ages 13 to 17, prefer clothing and gift cards over anything else.” While you’re there, stick around for O’Connor’s fun, free salsa and quickstep dance class (6:30pm), followed by a “Starlight Dance” potluckk after-party (8pm) which features the DJ sounds of Private Image Dance Studio. Free. 6:30pm. Kiheii Community Center (303 E. Lipoa St.); 879-0055; privateimagedance.com

HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WIFE - The Motion Picture Association of America’s NC17 rating means “no children under 17 admitted”–and really means a movie’s raunchy.

The Maui Film Festival’s FirstLight Academy Screenings shows 22 movies this week, but tonight’s the only night you can catch Steve McQueen’s Shame (7:30pm), which is the only one of this week’s bunch that’s rated (you guessed it) NC-17. See our Da Kine Calendar’s Events section for more.

DECEMBER 15, 2011 25

13 DIFFERENT

BEERS

HONU MAUI PRESENTS THE 2011

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DECEMBER 15, 2011

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar

BY ANU YAGI

BIG SHOWS SLACK KEY MASTERS WITH DANIEL HO AND TIA CARRERE - Thu., Dec. 15. See This Week’s Picks for more. $25 standard / $45 VIP with artist talk-story session. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org NEIL SEDAKA - Thu., Dec. 15. This crooner’s sold a millionbilliontrillion albums in his halfcentury career, plus penned hits for the likes of Frank Sinatra and Elivs. He’s kind of a big deal.

Maybe you’ve heard of him? $29.50 / $39.50 / $49.50 / $65. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org AC/DCEMBER: HIGHWAY TO HEAL Thu., Dec. 15. Tonight’s the last night of an epic three-night concert showcase featuring a slew of Maui’s biggest-balled (lyrically speaking) musicians. Sure, this event scores major points for being so cleverly named, but the best attribute of this three-night tribute to Australian rock gods AC/DC s that it’s a benefit for Mauian Merry Tamashiro who’s bravely battling cancer. So, “let there be rock!” $10 donation.

9pm. Kahului Ale House (355 E. Kamehameha Ave.); 877-9001 ROOTS SCHOOL’S FOURTH ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOW - Fri., Dec. 16. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15 adults / $7 keiki.

5-9pm. Studio Maui (810 Haiku Rd.); 2507988; rootsmaui.com MAUI MUSICAL VOICES PRESENTS A CHRISTMAS CONCERT WITH THE OLINDA CHORALE - Fri., Dec. 16. A delightful Christmas concert with music direction by Sarah Oppenheim-Beggs and Gary ShinLeavitt. Featuring pianist Lotus Dancer, cellist Silvina Samuel and soloists Leighanna Locke and Robert Brantley. $15 suggested donation.

7:30pm. Makawao Union Church (500 Baldwin Ave.); 270-3066 BEATS BAZAAR PRESENTS NICKODEMUS - Fri., Dec. 16. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); facebook.com/beatsbazaar / criticalbeats.org NA LEO LANI O MAUI COMMUNITY CHOIR PRESENTS “STARRY, STARRY NIGHT” - Eighty heavenly voices under the direction of Gale Wisehart present their third annual concert. Featuring Kumu Hula Uluwehi Guerrero and special guest Lei’ohu Ryder, singing “gorgeous melodies of the season and luscious Hawaiian favorites.” 7pm doors / 7:30pm show. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 280-8557; naleolaniomaui@hawaii.rr.com GENERATIONS: KEKUHI KEALI‘IKANAKA ‘OLE - Sat., Dec. 17. A multi-talented tita, Kekuhi’s Na Hoku Hanohano award-winning music demonstrates what it means to be Hawaiian today. Making this special night a family affair, Kekuhi’s mother and son will be joining her onstage during this intimate concert. $30.

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org A CHRISTMAS CONCERTO WITH HARP, CHOIR, SOPRANO AND ORGAN - Sun.,

Dec. 18. See This Week’s Picks for more. $10 suggested donation. 3pm. Makawao Union Church (500 Baldwin Ave.); 344-9046; music@harpisttatyana.com

STAGE PROARTS PRESENTS “RUTHLESS!” Runs Thu., Fri., and Sat. through Dec. 18 (followed by a holiday hiatus), returning Jan. 6-15.

This witty, campy off-Broadway hit is the final show of ProArts’s Fall / Winter season, and follows the story of a naive 1950s housewife and her adorable–but sociopathic 8-year-old daughter. Starring Lia Krueger, Heider Turner, Kristi Scott, Dale Button, Alison Mikes and Rose Roselinsky, plus the choreography talents of Aly Cardinalli. Musical direction by Anne Durham and Marti Kluth, retro costumes

by Sarah Loney, scenery by Caro Walker and lighting by Bonnie Brucha. Produced by Jonathan Lehman. 7:30pm Thu-Sat. / 3pm Sun. $25 adults / $20 youth 18-years-old and younger. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 4636550; proartspacific.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS RENEW YOUR LIBRARY CARD–OR ELSE - The Hawaii State Public Library System’s patron database will undergo a purge of inactive accounts on Dec. 20. If you haven’t borrowed library material in the past three years (even if you are a regular user of the library’s Internet stations), you’re on the chopping block–and need to renew post haste. It’d be pretty embarrassing if tried to check out a book after Dec. 20–and you’ve got no account (but if that does happen, you can renew easily for free).

But don’t think that if you’ve got outstanding charges or fees that you’re in the clear! Nope.

You’re still on the hook–and they’re sending their goons. Kidding. About the goons. You do really have to pay... What are you waiting for?

MAUI UNITED WAY TOY DRIVE - Donate a new toy to Maui United Way this holiday season and help support 34 partner agencies–all located right here on Maui. Drop-offs received through Dec. 20. 8am-4pm. Maui United Way (270 Ho’okahi St., Wailuku); 244-8787; kanoe@mauiunitedway.org

FOODIE VEGAN FUSION HOLIDAY WORKSHOP Sun. & Mon., Dec. 18 & 19. Join Blossoming Lotus’s founder, Chef Mark Reinfeld, for an introduction to the art of vegan cuisine. $285.

Hale Ho’omana Retreat Center (1550 Piiholo Rd., Olinda); 882-0820; info@veganfusion.com HONU’S 2011 BEER FESTIVAL - Mon., Dec. 19. See This Week’s Picks for more. $49. 6pm.

Honu (1295 Front St., Lahaina); 667-9390

EVENTS

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 PHOTOS WITH SANTA CLAUS AT QKC’S ISLAND-INSPIRED SANTA SET - Enjoy

same-day photos. Located behind center stage. Runs Nov. 19 through Dec. 24 (times vary by day; visit our online Da Kine Calendar or mauivents.com for more). Queen Kaahumanu Center (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com MEET THE ARTIST: WILLOW B. NORRIS - Maui artist Willow B. Norris–whose “spiritually oriented works... swing from whimsical to spiritual, not focusing on any central theme... but since moving to Maui has focused on her Dragonfly Dream and Butterfly Dream series”–demonstrates her fine watercolor technique on the last three Thu. in Dec. Free. Maui Hands Paia (84 Hana Hwy.); 579-9245; mauihands.com FREE SCREENING: “TAPPED” - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 5pm. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center (726 S. Kihei Rd.); surfrider.org/maui / tapped the movie.com

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 FIRSTLIGHT FILM SCREENINGS - This week’s films screen on Fri.-Wed. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass (i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “Hell and Back Again” (NR; 88 min.) - “Masterfully contrasting the intensity of the frontline with the unsettling normalcy of home,” (Docurama Films) photojournalist and filmmaker Danfung Dennis, from his embed with US Marines in Afghanistan, “seamlessly transitions from stunning war reportage to an an intimate, visceral portrait” of 25-year-old Sergeant Nathan Harris as he “confronts the physical and emotional difficulties of readjusting to civilian life.” 2pm. >>> “Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey” (NR; 82 min.) - Narrated by Whoopi Goldberg, this heartfelt doco includes “rare archival footage... and offers a behind-the-scenes look at Sesame Street and the Jim Henson Workshop” (Submarine Deluxe). Because while Elmo’s an “international icon... few know of his creator, Kevin Clash, who dreamed of working with his idol, master puppeteer Jim Henson.” 4pm. >>> “My Reincarnation” (NR; 82 min.) - Filmed over twenty years, acclaimed documentarian Jennifer Fox chronicles the story of Tibetan Buddhist Master Choegyal Namkhai Norbu and his western-born son Yeshi, “who’s recognized at birth as the reincarnation of a famous spiritual master, but breaks away from his father’s tradition to embrace the modern world” (Long Shot Factory). 6pm. >>> “Bob Marley: The Making of a Legend” (NR; 90 min.) - This film shows “the Wailers’ first rehearsal, when the idea of a Jamaican supergroup like the Beatles or the Stones was still just a dream” (Trenhorne Films), using “footage shot in the early ‘70s and lost for more than thirty years” by Esther Anderson. 8pm.

GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR. & DANIEL HO KI HO’ALU WORKSHOP/SPECIAL PERFORMANCE - Join Hawaii’s own Grammy winners for a special slack key guitar workshop (4-5pm, Makana Activities Center) and performance (7:30-9:30pm, Ka’uiki Restaurant).

Free. Travaasa Hana (f.k.a. Hotel Hana Maui);

248-8211; travaasa.com / slackkey.com MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY - Yee haw! If you thought last month’s soft launch for this new town party was rockin’, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! This time, the road’s closing for a Paniolo Holiday Parade (closed from Makawao Elementary School on Baldwin Ave. to the Liquor Shack on Makawao Ave.; 5pm), and there are more parking options (Makawao Base Yard across from St. Joseph’s, Makawao Hongwanji, Makawao municipal parking behind Library; Komoda’s; and two lots on Brewer Rd.), more ono grinds and more fun stuff for da whole ‘ohana. Here’s the night’s details: >>> ENTERTAINMENT: Kepa (center stage); Benny Uyetake (center stage); Kalama Intermediate ‘Ukulele Band (center stage); Elaine Ryan (center stage); Tatyana Shapiro (Julie Galeva Art Gallery) and Lydia Panzik (Makawao Steakhouse courtyard). >>> ACTIVITIES: Face painting and balloon twisting with La Ti Da; free Pilates and wellness coaching at OnCore Studios; photo booth by Epic Entertainment Hawaii; gift wrapping by Rotary Clubs of Maui (by donation); Bull Bash at the Oskie Rice Arena (7-9pm); open house at Maui 102NINE radio studios; “Quintessential Man” art exhibition at Viewpoints Gallery; open house at Paragon Salon, a benefit for the Boys & Girls Club of Maui.

ORNAMENT ART SHOW & UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER CONTEST (FOR CHARITY!) - Polyphonic Zine, Body Alive Yoga and Dogtowne Design present the “Naughty or Nice Christmas Ornament Party,” featuring a handmade ornament sale (benefitting the Kihei Youth Center), a cookie decorating party and ugly sweater contest. Plus, live music by Mary Jane Babashoff and Wailuku Coffee Company’s Megan and Naki Kanekoa. (PS: BYOB) 5-9pm. Wailuku Coffee Company (28 N. Market St., Wailuku); 244-0852; wailuku FREE STAR WATCHING PROGRAM AT HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK - Leave light pollution behind and join Haleakala National Park staff for an evening of kilo hoku (star watching). Be sure to dress for cold, windy conditions and bring a red-filtered flashlight if you have one. Free, though park entry fees apply ($10 three-day pass / $25 annual pass); please use the automated fee machine at entrance station. Haleakala Visitor Center (summit 9,740 ft. elevation; look for the starred traffic cone); 572-4400 CANDY CANE LANE CHRISTMAS FASHION AND CHARITY EVENT FOR TOYS FOR TOTS - Featuring fashion shows by Karamel Collection (10:30pm) and Pakaloha Bikinis (11:30pm), plus DJs Kurt and Trvr mixin’ the sweetest tunes all night and tons of door prizes. $10 cover / $5 with UHMC student ID or unwrapped donation to Toys for Tots. 9:30pm.

Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; candycanelane.com

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17 PACIFIC WHALE FOUNDATION’S GOLF FORE THE WHALES - To help support the marine education of Maui’s keiki, this tourney features contests, prizes, a silent auction

DECEMBER 15, 2011 27

Musical Voices Maui Presents

CHRISTMAS CONCERT The Olinda Chorale

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SUNDAY 18 KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT 8pm

NFL FOOTBALL DAY

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FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

AC/DCember: Highway to Heal - a benefit for Merry Tamashiro, 9pm; $10

Braddah Francis 4-8pm / Power Up Crew’s DJ Kollision, k.s.k and Boss Lady Ent.’s go-go angels 10pm; no cover

808 King of the Block car show feat. Palolo’s Finest, DJ Kollision, k.s.k and Boss Lady Ent.’s go-go angels 7:30pm; $10 after 10pm

NFL / Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - NFL / Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Clay Mortensen, 5-9pm / WED - Teri Garrison 5-8pm; free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph, 10pm

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA, 10pm

TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm (all sets no cover)

DJ Nickodemus plus Carlos of Monkeys with Drums, Bionic Love Sound System and DJ Valerie, 10pm; $15

The Human Experience a benefit ffor Source w/ DJ E.L.F. and Rachel Deboer 10pm; $15

Wavetrain feat.

Mark Johnstone & Friends 10pm; no cover

The Haiku Hillbillys 9:30pm; $5

The John Grover Band 9:30pm; $5

NFL Sunday Ticket

MON - 6th Annual Derek Beaty Memorial Holiday Jazz Jam & Dinner Show, 7pm; no cover

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

John Grover 10pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

NFL Sunday Ticket / Sunday Funday

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 10pm; no cover

Big John & Daniel 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Big John / TUE - Chad Kaya & Ryan Rego / WED - Sebrina Barron (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Mahalo Bash (free pupus!) / Free Pool Night

Karaoke

Karaoke

NFL Sunday Ticket / Karaoke

MON - NFL / WED - Go Go Dancers & DJ Music, 10pm-1am; no cover

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Gomega 9pm-close; no cover

NFL / Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - NFL / Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close

Indio & Avi 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

The Electric Surfers 8:30pm; no cover

The House Shakers 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

MON - Blues Spirit of Maui, 8:30pm / TUE - Kenny Roberts, 8:30pm (all ages!) / WED - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 8:30pm (all ages)

Karaoke

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355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

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1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

and reception with appetizers and live entertainment. Shotgun start (12pm), four-person scramble. Members: $150. Non-members: $160. Makena Beach and Golf Resort (North Course); 249-8811 ext. 1; pacficwhale.org MEET MAUITIME EDITOR ANTHONY PIGNATARO - See This Week’s Picks for more.

Free. 2-4pm. Barnes & Noble (Lahaina Gateway, 205 Keawe St.); anthony@mauitime.com FIRSTLIGHT FILM SCREENINGS - This week’s films screen on Fri.-Wed. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass (i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “Kung Fu Panda 2” (PG; 91 min.) - Jack Black’s back as the rotund, butt-kicking Asian land mammal. Skee-doosh! But best of all, admission to this flick’s free for keiki 12-years-old and younger (as are all FirstLight films rated G or PG). 1pm. >>> “Declaration of War” (NR; 100 min.) - In French with English subtitles. “This exuberant and deeply moving film follows a new couple, Romeo (Jérémie Elkaïm) and Juliette (Valérie Donzelli), who must face the ultimate test when they discover their newborn child is very ill” (IFC Films). 3pm. >>> “Amigo” (R; 124 min.) - In English and Filipino, Chinese and Spanish, all with English subtitles. “The 17th feature film from Academy Award-nominated writer-director John Sayles, [Amigo] stars legendary Filipino actor Joel Torre as Rafael, [as] a village mayor caught in the murderous crossfire of the PhilippineAmerican War” (Variance Films). 5pm. >>> “Blackthorn” (R; 98 min.) - “It’s been said (but unsubstantiated) that Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid were killed in a standoff

with the Bolivian military in 1908” (Magnolia Pictures). In this filck, Cassidy (Sam Shepard) survived, and is quietly living out his years under the name James Blackthorn in a secluded Bolivian village [but] is tired of his long exile from the US and hoping to see his family again before he dies.” Of course, adventure ensues. 7:30pm.

OPENING RECEPTION: PAIA CONTEMPORARY GALLERY DECEMBER EXHIBITION - Stephen Freedman’s ceramic works have been featured in over 100 exhibitions since 1983, including at the Getty Museum, West Australian Museum of Art, and the Art Institute of Boston.

His work will be featured in Paia Contemporary Gallery’s December exhibition (through Jan. 18) alongside new works by painters Akira Iha, Mary Mitsuda and Scott Plear. 6-8pm. Paia Contemporary Gallery (83 Hana Hwy.); 579-8444; paiacontemporarygallery.com

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18 BEACH CLEANUP - Every third Sun. of the month, Surfrider Foundation Maui Chapter holds a beach cleanup day. This month, they’re tackling Kahului’s Hoaloha Park and are sponsored by Paia’s Flatbread Company.

Free. 8-11am. 283-2470; surfrider.org / maui; maui@surfrider.org PACIFIC WHALE FOUNDATION’S STAND UP FOR THE WHALES - Hey, remember last week’s This Week’s Picks when we talked about the Stand Up for the Whales event (originally slated for Sun., Dec. 11)? Yeah, it was cancelled due to inclement weather. Bummer, right? Wrong! It’s been rescheduled for this week. Hurray! So, here’s a recap: Paddlers–including kayakers and SUP–are invited to be part of a “paddle-powered pod” with the Pacific Whale Foundation (PWF) in a 3.2 mile

TUE - Willie K and The Warehouse Blues Band, 9pm; $10 / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

group excursion along the South Maui coast.

The event begins at Haycraft Park (Ma’alaea,; 8am) and ends at Kenolio Park (Kihei; with a return shuttle to Ma’alaea provided). Receive a free PWF rash guard and medallion, plus refreshments and the chance to win great door prizes. Members: $50 / Non-members: $42 / Keiki 12-to 15-years-old: $40 / Keiki under age 12: free (sorry, keiki won’t get a free rash guard and all youth must be accompanied by a legal guardian). For more information, call 249-8811 or visit pacificwhale.org FIRSTLIGHT FILM SCREENINGS - This week’s films screen on Fri.-Wed. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass (i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “Puss in Boots” (PG; 90 min.) - See page 35 for film synopsis. (PS: Every FirstLight screening rated either G or PG means keiki 12-years-old and younger get in for free.) 1pm. >>> “A Better Life” (PG-13; 98 min.) - Director Chris Weitz (“About a Boy”) shares “a touching, poignant, multi-generational story about a father’s love and the lengths a parent will go to give his child the opportunities he never had” (Summit Entertainment). Stars Demian Bichir, Jose Julian, Dolores Heredia, Joaquin Cosio and Carlos Linares. 3pm. >>> “The Artist” (PG-13; 100 min.) - “Hollywood 1927... The advent of the talkies will sound the death knell” for silent movie superstar George Valentin (Jean Dujardin)... “[But] for the young extra Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo), it seems the sky’s the limit... “The Artist” tells the story of their interlinked destinies” (The Weinstein Company). 5pm. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass

(i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “The Music Never Stopped” (PG-13; 105 min.) - Based on the case study of “The Last Hippie” by Oliver Sacks, M.D. (author of “Musicophilia”), this film, “through the music that embodied the generation gap of the ‘60s... chronicles the journey of a father and son adjusting to cerebral trauma” (Roadside Attractions). 7:30pm.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO HULA GRILL - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free.

4:45pm. Hula Grill (Whalers Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 667-6636; hulagrill.com ART-BQ SUNDAYS WITH GUY JUNKER Every Sun., Maui fine artist (and samurai sensei extraordinaire!) hosts a lively, Art-BQ celebration with free grinds and great camaraderie.

Free. 7-11pm. Guy Junker Studio / Gallery (106 Kupuohi St., Lahaina); 661-0923; guyjunker.com

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19 3RD ANNUAL LAHAINALUNA INVITATIONAL (F.K.A. THE CHRISTMAS CLASSIC) - Dec. 19-22. Top caliber high school boys basketball teams from home and abroad showcase their stuff. Today’s schedule: Maui High vs. Sullivan Heights (9am), Mount Si vs.

Redondo Beach (10:30am), Oaks Christian vs. San Pedro (12pm), Provo vs. Inglewood (1:30pm), Mission Viejo vs. White Rock (3pm), King Kekaulike vs. Seabury Hall (4:30pm), Baldwin vs. Hilo High (6pm), Lahainaluna vs.

Cowichan (7:30pm).

MAUI ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS’ WINTER CAMPS KICK OFF TODAY - See This Week’s Picks for more. (PS: Wanna see

DECEMBER 15, 2011 29

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVAโ S THE AWARDS

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVAโ S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

โ BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUIโ โ BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUIโ

FRIDAY DECEMBER 16TH + THIRD FRIDAY IN MAKAWAO ON CASANOVAโ S PARKING LOT STAGE THE SEABURY HALL HAWAIIAN ENSEMBLE 5:30PM DR. NAT AND RIO RITMO 6:30PM FROM NEW YORK CITY MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM $15 COVER

DJ NICKODEMUS

PERCUSSIONS BY CARLOS, OF MONKEYS WITH DRUMS BIONIC LOVE SOUND SYSTEM DJ VALERIE + THE VIBE GODDESS FROM SAN DIEGO VJ DOUG DEBOER + LIVE PAINTING BY MELISSA

SATURDAY DECEMBER 17TH SOURCE PRESENTS

THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE

THURSDAY 12.15 SOUL COMMITMENT W/ CLAY MORTENSON 9PM ยบ -ร ร ,#) -ร ร ,#

FRIDAY 12.16

KING OF THE BLOCK FRANCINE DEE & POLOLOS FINEST

W/

10PM ยบ -ร ร ,#)

SATURDAY S U 12.17 7

LADIES UNPLUGGED

W/ LIA LIVE & FRIENDS SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $15 DONATION TO SOURCE INTERCATIVE ARTS FOUNDATION

DJ E.L.F. + BODY PAINTING BY RACHEL DE BOER

TUESDAY DECEMBER 20TH

HAPPY HAP HA H APPY AP PY HOU H HOUR OU UR 3 3-6PM/LIVE -6P -6 PM M/ M /LIV LIVE MU M MUSIC US U USI SCE SI EVERY VER VER VE ERY RY WEEK W WEEKEND EEK EE EK KE END EN ND

SHOW STARTS AT 9PM $10 COVER

WILLIE K WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

SEBRINA BARRON & ELAINE RYAN 9PM ยบ -ร ร ,#)

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SUSHI TUESDAY

3PM & ร $ ร $$ *O*&ร รถ รป ร $$ ;ร -#

;#ร -#*ร Q รง

THE HOUSE SHAKERS 7:30ร N ยบ NO COVER

808.879.3133

1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G

PLAY LOUD. AT THE SUNDAY HAPPY HOUR THAT ROCKS.

PHOTO BY: JAY PARCO PHOTOGRAPHY

HARD ROCK CAFE MAUI - THE PLACE TO BE!

SUNDAYS WITH GRAMMY AWARD WINNING ARTIST WILLIE K SUNDAY 11-3 HAPPY HOUR DRINK SPECIALS DURING THE SHOW KAMAโ AINA SPECIALS ALL DAY! $3 domestic drafts ย $4 domestic bottles ย $4 premium well drinks ย $5 wines

30

DECEMBER 15, 2011

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

12/15

12/16

12/17

12/18

12/19 - 12/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonzo 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Jamie Gallo / WED - Guest Performer (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Willie K 9-11pm; $5

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON through WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - NFL / TUE Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Salsa Night w/ Netto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS hosted by Philly Blunt & feat. All Access Ent.’s DJ Money Mike, 10pm; $10

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Mantis 9pm-close

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Willie K, 7-9pm / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith 9:30pm-12am; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8pm; no cover

SLAM feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen 7-10pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm / Big John 10pm-12am

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Willie K, 7-9pm

mauimusicmecca presents Guest DJ 10pm; no cover

Natural Vibrations CD Release Party 10pm; $15

Hayley’s CD Release Party w/ Super Dub Tribe, Teomon and Rootz n Creation, 10pm; $15

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

what it’s all about? Check out MAPA’s dance troupe’s free performance at the Queen Kaahumanu Center tonight at 7pm.) For more information, call 244-8760 or visit mauiacademy.org FIRSTLIGHT FILM SCREENINGS - This week’s films screen on Fri.-Wed. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass (i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” (PG-13; 136 min.) - This flick’s got shots of our Hawaiian home, Johnny Depp, Penelop Cruz and a whole lotta eyeliner. 2pm. >>> “The Help” (PG-13; 147 min.) - Based on a 2009 novel of the same name, by Kathryn Stockett. A mixed-race group of friends–in 1960s Mississippi–risk everything to share their stories via a secret writing project. Barry Wurst II says it’s “uneven but has real fire in its belly.” 5pm. >>> “War Horse” (PG-13; 146 min.) - Directed by Steven Spielberg, this flick’s “a tale of loyalty, hope and tenacity set against a sweeping canvas of rural England and Europe during the First World War” (DreamWorks). 7:30pm.

6TH ANNUAL DEREK BEATY MEMORIAL JAZZ JAM & DINNER SHOW - One of Maui’s finest bassist Derek Beaty left this world due to a tragic car accident. Every year since his passing, Beaty’s good friend Mark Johnstone has organized a jam to remember him by. This year features Roscoe Wright on drums, Bob Harrison on upright bass, John Zangrando on sax and Johnstone on piano. Plus, Benoit Jazz Works and Lenny Castellanos will be on hand, as will other Maui notables from the jazzy side of beats. No cover. 7pm. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 579-8085; charleysmaui.com

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20 3RD ANNUAL LAHAINALUNA INVITATIONAL (F.K.A. THE CHRISTMAS CLASSIC) Dec. 19-22. Top caliber high school boys basketball teams from home and abroad showcase their stuff. Today’s schedule: Molokai High vs. Maui High (9am), Sullivan Heights vs. King Kekaulike (10:30am), Cowichan vs. Baldwin (12pm), Redondo Beach vs. San Pedro (1:30pm), Provo vs.

Mission Viejo (3pm), Inglewood vs. White Rock (4:30pm), Mount Si vs. Oaks Christian (6pm), Hilo vs. Lahainaluna (7:30pm).

KEEP ‘EM COMIN’ BACK FOR MORE - Dr. Robert Santry’s presentation, “Appreciative Marketing: Ten Ways to Keep Your Clients Coming Back For More Products and Services,” demonstrates how simply saying thank you to clients will help keep ‘em happy. Sounds simple, right? Well, there’s an art to everything and Dr. Santry’s here to share best practices. Free. 121pm. Maui County Business Resource Center (Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 873-8247; karen.arakawa@mauicounty.gov FIRSTLIGHT FILM SCREENINGS - This week’s films screen on Fri.-Wed. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass (i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “Rebirth” (NR; 104 min.) - “The result of a decade-long process by director Jim Whitaker, the inspirational story of “Rebirth” follows the nearly ten-year transformation of five people whose lives were forever altered on September 11, 2001” (Oscilloscope). 2pm. >>> “If A Tree Falls” (NR; 98 min.) - “Part coming-of-age tale, part cops-and-robbers thriller” (Oscilloscope), “If A Tree Falls” follows “radical environmentalists involved with the Earth Liberation Front [ELF]–an organization the FBI has called America’s ‘number one domestic terror-

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm; AC/ DCember: Highway to Heal benefit, 9-11pm TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

ism threat’... using never-before-seen archival footage and intimate interviews... ask[ing] hard questions about environmentalism, activism, and the way we define terrorism.” 4pm. >>> “Revenge of the Electric Car” (PG-13; 90 min.) - “Director Chris Paine takes his film crew behind the closed doors of Nissan, GM, and the Silicon Valley start-up Tesla Motors to chronicle the story of the global resurgence of electric cars” (Area23a). 6pm >>> “The Other F Word” (NR; 108 min.) - This film “asks what happens when a generation’s ultimate anti-authoritarians–punk rockers–become society’s ultimate authorities–dads.”

Featuring Pennywise’s Jim Lindberg, plus Red Hot Chili Peppers’s Flea, Rise Against’s Tim McIlrath, pro skater Tony Hawk, Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh, NOFX’s Fat Mike and Rancid’s Lars Frederiksen. 8pm.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21 3RD ANNUAL LAHAINALUNA INVITATIONAL (F.K.A. THE CHRISTMAS CLASSIC) - Dec. 19-22. Top caliber high school boys basketball teams from home and abroad showcase their stuff. Today’s schedule: San Pedro vs. Mount Si (8am), Baldwin vs. Molokai High (9:30am), King Kekaulike vs. Hilo High (11am), White Rock vs. Provo (12:30pm), Maui High vs. Cowichan (2pm), Kamehameha vs. Seabury Hall (3:30pm), Oak Christian vs.

Redondo Beach (5pm), Lahainaluna vs. Sullivan Heights (6:30pm), Mission Viejo vs. Inglewood (8pm). Thursday’s schedule: Seabury Hall vs. Hilo High (9am), 3rd Mauka Div. vs. 3rd Makai Div. (10:30am), Molokai High vs. King Kekaulike (12pm), Cowichan vs. Kamehameha (1:30pm), Sullivan Heights vs. Baldwin (3pm), 2nd Mauka Div. vs. 2nd Makai Div. (4:30pm), Lahainaluna vs. 4th Makai Div. (6pm), 1st Mauka Div. vs. 1st Makai Div. (7:30pm).

WED - Ibiza on Maui w/ DJ Peak 10pm; no cover

FIRSTLIGHT FILM SCREENINGS - This week’s films screen on Fri.-Wed. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast-Pass (i.e. $10 ea.). Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “J. Edgar” (R; 136 min.) - Starring Leonardo “Never Let Me Go” DiCaprio. See page 35 for film synopsis. 2pm >>> “Coriolanus” (NR; 122 min.) - Ralph Fiennes stars as “a revered and feared Roman General [who’s] at odds with the city of Rome and his fellow citizens.” Blah, blah, blah. Ralph Fiennes is hot (oh, and a good actor, too) and that’s all the reason you need to see this movie. 5pm. >>> “Shame” (NC-17; 99 min.) - Directed by Steve McQueen. This film stars Michael Fassbender as “a New Yorker who shuns intimacy with women but feeds his desires with a compulsive addiction to sex” (Fox Searchlight).

Yowzer! 7:30pm OCCUPY WALL STREET MAUI GENERAL ASSEMBLY MEETINGS - Every Wed., the Occupy Wall Street Maui group holds a meeting on “Freedom Lawn” at the University of Hawaii Maui College. “This is democracy in action in it’s purest form with everyone’s voice being heard in an orderly, positive and focused manner,” states Judy Levy, local businesswoman.

The group says the primary issue they address is “eliminat(ing) the influence of money, lobbyists and corporations who ‘appear to put profit above people’, from our political system. “ Plus, the group has “Direct Action Committees” which focus on “GMO foods, supporting organic farmers, honoring the ‘aina, water quality and availability, Chemtrails, home foreclosures and building bridges of aloha between Hawaiians and newer residents.” Want to get involved? Attend one of their Wed. meetings, 5-7pm.

FREE SALSA, QUICKSTEP DANCE CLASSES AND “STARLIGHT DANCE” PARTY

DECEMBER 15, 2011 31

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

THURS

DEC.15

ECCA MAUIMUSICM $07&3 t 1.

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FRIDAY

DEC.16

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SATURDAY

DEC.17

EYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HAYLPAR TY WITH CD RELEASE

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TUESDAY

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WEDNESDAY

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DEC.21

TH IBIZA ON MAUI WI 1. t 7&3 DJ PEAK /0 $0 &3 1.

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ALL AGES NO COVER

TUESDAYS 8:30PM ALL AGES NO COVER

WEDNESDAYS 8:30PM ALL AGES NO COVER

THURSDAYS 8:30PM ALL AGES NO COVER

FRIDAYS 8:30PM ALL AGES NO COVER

SATURDAYS 8:30PM ALL AGES NO COVER

Excellence.

OF MAUI

KENNY ROBERTS DAMON PARILLO & DANYEL ALANA

INDIO & AVI THE ELECTRIC SURFERS THE HOUSE SHAKERS

LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 8PM - CLOSE 900 FRONT ST. +1-808-667-7400 32

DECEMBER 15, 2011

Provide the environment for a young person like 8 year old VIG athlete Alana Motley to expect excellence from herself, and sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll rise to the occasion. Alana has chosen the route of Performance & Competition Training at Valley Isle Gymnastics. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

BLUES SPIRIT

Photo © Mark Moquin & WaveShotsMaui

MONDAYS 8:30PM

Valley Isle Gymnastics S I M P LY

BECAUSE ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FUN!

250 Alamaha at Wakea, Suite N8 â&#x20AC;¢ Kahului â&#x20AC;¢ 871-6116 www.valleyislegymnastics.com â&#x20AC;¢ info@valleyislegymnastics.com

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

12/15

12/16

12/17

12/18

12/19 - 12/21

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

Reuben Cantere Skate/ Surf Art Show feat. DJ Jay.P, 8pm-close; no cover

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

STEEL HORSE SALOON

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Da Booze Braddahs 8-11pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

NFL Sunday BBQ

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

Candy Cane Lane Christmas Fashion & Charity Event for Toys for Tots, 9:30pm; $5/$10

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-1am; $4

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like A Pirate Night

Soul Commitment w/ Clay Mortensen 9pm; no cover

808 King of the Block feat. Francine Dee and Pololo’s Finest, 10pm

Ladies Unplugged w/ Lia Live & Friends, Sebrina Barron and Elaine Ryan, 9pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 7pm; no cover

WED - Blues Night w/ The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

House of Reggae w/ DJ Boomshot 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

closed

MON through WED - closed

NFL / Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Live Music 10pm

UH Football

NFL

MON - NFL / TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

WITH THE ALOHA BALLROOM DANCE ACADEMY - See This Week’s Picks for more.

Free. 6:30pm. Kihei Community Center (303 E. Lipoa St.); 879-0055; privateimagedance.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu., Barefoot Minded; Every Fri. & Sat. Dave Caroll; Every Sun., Erin Smith & Fri.ends; Every Mon., Peter D; Every Tue., Live Jazz; Every Wed., Jordan Cuddy.

(All sets 7:30-10pm.) Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908 DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon., Tue. & Wed., Brian 3-5pm; Wed., Alika & Ron 6-8:30pm; Thu., Damien 3-5pm; Thu., Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri., Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri. & Sat., Kulwewa 6-8:30pm; Every Sun. & Sat., Tim 3-5pm; Sun., Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Tue., Alika & Edee 6-8:30pm; Tue., Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Fri., Henry Kapono 5-7pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900 HULA GRILL - Wed., Alika 1:30-3:30pm; Wed., Peter DeAquino 4-6pm; Every Tue. & Wed., Ernest Pua’a & Fri.ends 6:30-9pm; Thu., Alika 11am-1pm; Thu., Ernest Pua’a 1:303:30pm; Every Mon. & Thu., Armadillo 4-6pm; Thu., Kulwewa 6-9pm; Every Mon., Fri. & Sat., Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm; Every Fri. & Sat., 1810 4-6pm; Fri., Kawika, Roy & Ivan 6:30-9pm; Sat., Wili Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Every Sun. & Tue., Kawika Lum Ho 11am-1pm; Sun., Ron & Ikaika 1:30-3:30pm; Sun., Derick Sebastian Trio 6-9pm; Mon., Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30-9pm; Tue., Jarrett Roback 1:30-3:30pm; Tue., Damon & Danyel Alana 4-6pm; Every Mon., Wed. & Fri., Ernest Pua’a 11am-1pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri., DJ & Fri.ends, Every Sat., JD & Harry; Sun., Merv Oana (all sets 3-5pm). Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali

Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495 LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu., Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri., Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w / Troy 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808 PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu., Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm; Wed., JD on the Rocks 5-8pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 6613636 R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live jazz. 4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889 SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat., Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili, 6691500 VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Fri., Glenn Kakagawa and Sarah Cravalho 5:30-8:30pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 6651122

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm; AC/DCember: Highway to Heal, 9-11pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / SLAM feat.

David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover MON - Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu., Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm; Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm.

1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250 KAI WAIEA - Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf; Fri., Ryan Robinson; Sat., Kanoa; Mon., Tom Conway; Wed., Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955 LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Netto & Barbara Peraza 8-11pm; Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2 6:30-9:30pm; Every Sat., Camp Savage 7:309:30pm; Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm; Every Tue., Ric Scanlan 7-11pm; Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-9944 MONSOON INDIA Every Sat., Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets

by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:308:30pm; Mon., Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue., Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., 875-6666 MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu., Willie K 7-9pm; Fri., Sebrina Barron 6:308pm; Sat., SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 7-10pm; Every Sun., The Celtic Tigers w / Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon., Joyce & Gord 6-8:30pm; Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm.

Wed., Willie K, 7-9pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith; Every Fri., Randall Rospond; Every Sat., Tom Conway; Every Sun., Viva La Rumba; Every Mon., Kanoa; Every Tue., Sebrina Barron; Every Wed., Mark Johnstone. (all sets 4-6pm.)

Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen 7pm; Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night [December is Holiday Humor Month! This week: “Love Actually” (2003)] 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 CAPISCHE? - Every Fri. & Sat., Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 8792224

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue., Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed., Randall Rospond 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 7-10pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779 THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun., Gina Martinelli Band 7pm. Every Wed., Blues Night w / The House Shakers 7:30pm (all sets no cover). 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133 TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu., Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri., Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat., Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun., Rob & Ron = R2; Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue., Mike and Mark; Every Wed., Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.)

2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon., Open Mic Jam Sesh w / host Teri Garrison 8pm; Every Tue., Clay Mortensen 5-9pm; Every Wed., Teri Garrison 5-8pm / free karaoke w / host Braddah Francis 8pm. (All sets no cover.) 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001 CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY - Every Thu.Sun. & Tue., piano w / Francois 6pm-close. Every Sun., guitar with Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului; 873-6555

UPCOUNTRY CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu., Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat., live Argentinian music; Every Wed., Mark Johnstone 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5796323 CASANOVA - Fri., Makawao Third Friday feat. the Seabury Hall Ensemble 5:30pm; Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo 6:30pm. 1188 Makawao Ave., 5720220

DECEMBER 15, 2011 33

FILM

Sherlock Holmes Returns!

A Game of Shadows is mostly great fun

BY BARRY WURST II

A Game of Shadows

★★★★★

Rated PG13/129 Min

R

obert Downey Jr. stars again as Sherlock Holmes, the brilliant crime fighter and towering intellectual who, in director Guy Ritchie’s interpretation, is also an accomplished martial artist. After going slightly crazy with experimental drugs and kooky experiments on household pets, Holmes is rescued

by Dr. Watson (Jude Law), whose wedding provides Holmes some distraction. After stumbling across some shady developments, they turn to a mysterious gypsy (Noomi Rapace of the Swedish Girl With the Dragon Tattoo films), who guides them on a mission to Paris. In addition to uncovering multiple unraveling mysteries, Holmes encounters Professor Moriarity (Jared Harris), his greatest enemy and equal opponent in every way.

Everything that did and didn’t work in the first Sherlock Holmes holds true for the sequel: the story is over-plotted and the supporting characters don’t add much but the chemistry between Downey Jr. and Law is terrific and so is the mixture of action and com-

edy. Downey Jr. gives a performance every bit as eccentric, playful and anything goes as the movie around him and Law’s flair for comedy makes him a great match for his co-star.

Rachel McAdams also returns for a brief appearance, which is just as well; she was miscast in the first installment and, despite being a wonderful actress, still has no visible spark with Downey Jr. or her character.

Rapace has an intriguing introduction but the movie has no idea what to do with her, as she spends many scenes saying nothing and looking over the shoulders of her co-stars.

Zhang Ziyi, following her breakout performance in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, was cast in a nothing villainess role in Rush Hour 2. In the same vein, Rapace appears to be another talented actress from foreign films whose first featured role in an American movie is completely beneath her.

The biggest letdown is Harris–he’s a good actor but Moriarity is to Holmes what The Joker is to Batman: this is THE major villain from the Arthur Conan Doyle books and Harris is adequate but not an electrifying actor who can hold the screen like his co-star. It was rumored that Brad Pitt was once considered to play the role, which indicates the kind of star power and magnetism required that is absent here.

Party Foul The story is a jumble of assassination plots, cross-country travels, various flashbacks and gypsy encounters, with even a trip to the opera thrown in. We also get way too much of Sherlock Vision: seeing Holmes’ P.O.V. during a fight is fun once but it gets milked too heavily.

What works are the spectacular action set pieces, particularly a forest pursuit that utilizes the Bullet Time effect from The Matrix in a truly stunning, innovative way. There’s also the final tussle, which smartly references a key scene from Conan Doyle’s work and is one of the most eye popping visuals of the year. The give and take between Downey Jr. and Law is always strong, with a brief wed-

ding scene an especially funny example of how close Holmes and Watson truly are.

This franchise is for Downey Jr. and Law what Lethal Weapon was for Mel Gibson and Danny Glover: fans came for the action but got sucked in by the hilarious and touching rapport of the leads.

Bottom line: if you’re a fan of Downey Jr., you’re in for a good time. He works hard but looks like he’s having the time of his life. Between Hanz Zimmer’s wonderful score and the stunning climax, you’ll walk away rejuvenated for the inevitable Part Three. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1526f

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FILM

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY ANU YAGI

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Happy Feet Two (2D)- PG - THU (4:30), 7:15, 9:45. FRI (1:40, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45.

SAT-SUN (4:30), 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (4:30), 7:15, 9:45.

Immortals (2D)- R - THU (4:40), 7:20, 9:55.

The Muppets- PG - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

The Sitter- R - FRI (1:45, 4:40), 7:20, 9:45. SATSUN (1:45), 4:40, 7:20, 9:45. MON-WED (4:40), 7:20, 9:45.

Tower Heist- PG 13 - THU (4:15), 7:05, 9:40.

FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:40. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:05, 9:40.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Arthur Christmas (2D)- PG - THU (4:45), 9:35.

FRI (11:55, 4:45), 9:25. SAT-SUN (11:55), 4:45, 9:25. MON-WED (4:45), 9:25.

Arthur Christmas (3D)- PG - THU-WED (2:20), 7:10.

Hugo (2D)- PG - THU (3:30), 6:30, 9:30. FRI (4:05). SAT-SUN 4:05. MON-WED (4:05).

Hugo (3D)- PG - THU (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

FRI (1:10), 6:50, 9:35. SAT-WED (1:10), 6:50, 9:35.

Immortals (2D)- R - THU (4:40), 9:55. FRI (11:45, 4:35), 9:50. SAT-SUN (11:45), 4:35, 9:50. MON-WED (4:35), 9:50.

Immortals (3D)- R - THU-WED (2:10), 7:20.

Jack and Jill- PG - THU (2:05, 4:20), 6:35, 8:50.

FRI (11:50, 4:20), 8:50. SAT-SUN (11:50), 4:20, 8:50. MON-WED (4:20), 8:50.

The Muppets- PG - THU (1:15, 1:50, 3:45,

NEW THIS WEEK

4:15), 6:15, 6:45, 8:45, 9:15. FRI (11:35, 1:50, 4:15), 6:35, 9:15. SAT-SUN (11:35, 1:50), 4:15, 6:35, 9:15. MON-WED (1:50, 4:15), 6:35, 9:15.

New Year’s Eve- PG 13 - FRI (1:15, 1:45, 4:00, 4:30), 6:45, 7:15, 9:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:15, 1:45), 4:00, 4:30, 6:45, 7:15, 9:30, 10:00. MONWED (1:15, 1:45, 4:00, 4:30), 6:45, 7:15, 9:30, 10:00.

Puss in Boots (2D)- PG - THU-WED (2:15), 6:40.

Puss In Boots (3D)- PG - THU (12:00, 4:30), 9:00. FRI (12:00, 4:25), 9:00. SAT-SUN (12:00), 4:25, 9:00. MON-WED (4:25), 9:00.

The Sitter- R - FRI (12:30, 1:00, 2:40, 3:10, 4:50, 5:20), 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:30, 1:00, 2:40, 3:10), 4:50, 5:20, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40. MON-WED (1:00, 2:40, 3:10, 4:50, 5:20), 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40.

Tower Heist- PG 13 - THU (1:55, 4:35) 7:15, 9:40. FRI (1:55), 6:30. SAT-WED (1:55), 6:30.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1PG 13 - THU (1:05, 2:00, 3:15, 3:40, 4:50), 6:00, 6:25, 7:30, 8:40, 9:10, 10:00. FRI (11:30, 1:05, 2:05, 3:40, 4:40), 6:25, 7:25, 9:05, 9:55. SATSUN (11:30, 1:05, 2:05), 3:40, 4:40, 6:25, 7:25, 9:05, 9:55. MON-WED (1:05, 2:05, 3:40, 4:40), 6:25, 7:25, 9:05, 9:55.

1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Arthur Christmas (2D)- PG - THU 1:15, 3:45, 6:15, 8:40. FRI-SAT 11:10, 1:30, 3:50, 6:15, 8:20, 10:35. SUN 11:10, 1:30, 3:50, 6:15, 8:20.

MON-WED 1:30, 3:50, 6:15, 8:20.

Happy Feet Two (2D)- PG - THU 1:30, 3:50, 6:05, 8:20.

The Muppets- PG - THU 1:00, 3:40, 6:10, 8:45.

New Year’s Eve- PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:45,

Theron stars as a teen lit writer who, after her divorce, returns home to relive her glory days. Also starring Patton Oswalt. Screenplay by Diablo Cody. 94 min.

LIKE CRAZY - PG 13 - Romance - A heartfelt tale about the poignancy of first love and blah blah blah blah blah... See this flick with your girlfriend. Get laid. Rinse and repeat. 90 min.

THE DESCENDANTS

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1- PG 13 - THU 1:05, 3:30, 6:00, 8:30. FRI-SAT 12:00, 2:30, 5:15, 7:50, 10:30. SUN 12:00, 2:30, 5:15, 7:50. MON-WED 1:00, 3:30, 6:00, 8:30.

ties battle for humanity in a flick loosely based on the Greek myths of Theseus, Minotaur and Titanomachy. Brought to you by the director of The Cell and The Fall (Tarsem Sighn), plus the producers of 300 (Mark Canton, Gianni Nunnari and Ryan Kavanaugh). 110 min.

J. EDGAR - PG 13 - Drama - Barry Wurst II reports that this “extensive” biopic directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Leo “Never Let Me Go” DiCaprio, “has lots to admire but never fully connects... [and DiCaprio’s] heavy-handed narration, with a just-shy of Dr. Evil voice, is a hindrance.”

140 min.

THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy Whoa, whoa, whoa. An already award-winning movie filmed in Hawaii (and Adam Sandler’s not in it), about Hawaii (seriously), written by a Hawaiian (it’s based on the critically acclaimed debut novel

by Kaui Hart Hemmings)? And it’s not Get A Job? And it stars George Clooney?! What the hell more do you need to know before you go? (And how many more question marks will it take???) 115 min.

HAPPY FEET TWO - PG - Its predecessor won an Academy Award, and advance reviews rave this follow-up flick’s striking gold again. Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Common and Hank Azaria lend their voices. 103 min.

HUGO - PG - Fantasy - Directed by some guy named Martin Scorsese, this already critically acclaimed film’s based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law. 127 min.

YOUNG ADULT

NOW SHOWING

THE MUPPETS - PG - Family - The Muppets’ super fans help Kermit the Frog reunite the gang.

Directed by James Bobin (co-creator of The Flight of the Concords). 110 min.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS - PG 13 - Action - See this week’s film critique. 129 min.

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS - PG - Animation - Turns out, Santa’s round-the-world-in-a-night secret is that he’s a tech junkie. But old school Grandsanta (you know, Santa’s dad) says he’s just a glorified mailman with technological luxury. Meanwhile, Santa’s oldest son Steve is eager to be the next Santa, urging current Santa’s burgeoning identity crisis. Amidst all this hubbub, Santa’s youngest (and most annoying) son, Arthur, saves the day–because somebody’s got to.

And you thought your family got tense ‘round Christmastime. 97 min.

NEW YEAR’S EVE - PG 13 - Romantic Comedy - Look, I don’t mean to be so bah-humbug, but ensemble casts make it really hard to suspend disbelief. Add to that this flick’s a feel-good holiday hurl-fest, and it’s doubly doomed in my book.

Directed by Garry Marshall (who’s really exercising originality, given his other major credit is Valentine’s Day). Starring Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Robert De Niro, friend of the paper Zac Effron, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Alyssa Milano, Sienna Miller, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ryan Seacrest–can I please just stop here? 118 min.

YOUNG ADULT - R - Drama/Comedy - Charlize

IMMORTALS - R - Action - A slew of uber-hot-

REAL STEEL - PG 13 - Action - The artist formerly

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - PG 13 - Action - The real impossible mission lies in whether this movie can resurrect Tom Cruise from the Hollywood whack list. (No, Tom. You are not a “thetan” trapped in a “meat body.”

You’re a goddamned movie star and we miss you.

Well, kind of.) If you miss Maverick, too, blame L. Ron Hubbard. 132 min.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Happy Feet Two (2D)- PG - THU 11:00, 12:25, 1:20, 2:45, 3:40, 5:10, 6:00, 7:30, 8:20. FRI-SAT 11:30, 12:00, 1:50, 2:20, 4:10, 4:40, 6:30, 7:00, 8:45, 9:20. SUN-MON 11:30, 12:00, 1:50, 2:20, 4:10, 4:40, 6:30, 7:00. TUE-WED 12:00, 2:20, 1:50, 4:10, 4:40, 6:30, 7:00.

Happy Feet Two (3D)- PG - THU 11:45, 2:00, 4:25, 6:45. FRI-SAT 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50. SUN-WED 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30.

J. Edgar- R - THU 11:00, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45. FRISAT 12:25, 3:45, 7:00, 10:00. SUN-WED 12:25, 3:45, 7:00.

Margin Call- R - THU 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10.

FRI-SAT 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30. SUNWED 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10.

Real Steel- PG 13 - THU 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15. FRI-SAT 12:45, 3:45, 7:05, 9:45. SUNWED 12:45, 3:45, 7:05.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

KUKUI MALL

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED - PG - Animated - Squirrelkabobs!

The Chipmunks and Chimpettes get stranded on a deserted topical island–and soon find it isn’t deserted at all (big surprise). I wonder if the natives will Cook them? 87 min.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO - R - Thriller - Based on the novel by Swedish journo Stieg Larsson, who died just befor his books became famous. Trivia: the book’s original title in Swedish is “Män som hatar kvinnor,” which translates to “Men Who Hate Women.” 95 min.

4:30, 7:00, 9:30. SUN 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:00.

MON-WED 1:00, 3:35, 6:05, 8:35.

The Sitter- R - FRI-SAT 11:30, 1:40, 3:45, 5:55, 8:00, 10:00. SUN 11:30, 1:40, 3:45, 5:55, 8:00.

MON-WED 1:40, 3:45, 5:55, 8:00.

658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Arthur Christmas (2D)- PG - THU (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30.

Jack and Jill- PG - THU-FRI (2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:30. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:30, 7:15, 9:30. MONWED (2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:30.

New Year’s Eve- PG 13 - FRI (1:20, 4:10), 7:05, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:20), 4:10, 7:05, 9:50. MONWED (1:20, 4:10), 7:05, 9:50.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45. SATSUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:45.

known as Wolverine makes a shady living in the biz of amateur robot boxing. Barry Wurst II says, “While the film is predictable, it isn’t stupid.” 128 min.

THE SITTER - R - Comedy - Jonah Hill takes-up baby sitting after he’s canned from college. Hilarity presumably ensues. 81 min.

TOWER HEIST - PG 13 - Comedy - This movie about Wall Street Ponzi scheme-revenge stars Eddie Murphy as a petty crook, Gabourey Sidibe (Precious) as a Jamaican maid, and Michael Pena (Crash) as Enrique the bellhop. Meanwhile, Alan Alda’s a billionaire, Ben Stiller’s a building manager, Matthew Broderick’s an investor and Tea Leoni’s a special agent.

We’re assuming the opening sequence is simply a recital of the Willie Lynch letter. 104 min.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN: PART 1 - PG 13 - Fantasy - Vampires suck. 132 min.

LAST CHANCE JACK AND JILL - PG - Comedy - Dear Adam Sandler: I don’t care if “it ain’t pretty” is (somehow) the point. This is just annoying... Dear Everyone Else: if you want to see comedy that straddles the line between -ian and -ienne, you’re best-off Googling Eddie Izzard or The Kids in the Hall, capiche? 106 min.

MARGIN CALL - R - Drama - A financial collapse flick loosely based on the Lehman Brothers debacle, starring Kevin Spacey, Paul Bettany and Jeremy Irons. Industry folk call this an “independent film,” which means “blink and you’ll miss it in theaters.”

107 min.

PUSS IN BOOTS - PG - Animation - C’mon, who doesn’t love sword fighting pussy? (PS: Puss in Boots is to Shrek as Frasier is to Cheers!.) 90 min. ■

DECEMBER 15, 2011 35

THE A-TRAIN FRIDAYS 3-9PM K-ROCK 97.3

FRIDAY AFTERNOON IS THE MOST POSITIVE, HOPE FILLED PORTION OF THE WEEK. SO HANG OUT WITH JOHNNY A AND SOAK UP THE GREAT VIBES, THE LAUGHTER, THE FREE STUFF, AND (OF COURSE) THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL EVER CREATED.

Wake up with Shaggy & Big C

KULA KID

Give A Buck

BY ANU YAGI Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives.

– Jean-Paul Sarte

S

hrill and sweet, as if uttered by an ESL automaton, her question hung like a broken ornament. “Woo you li’ to make a donation to Toys fo’ Tots?”

The barrel chested tourist sat back on his heels, um-ing. He rocked forward and back again. He looked at his well-dressed wife. She looked away.

His pause divulged his heart. All the tourist wanted was to pay for his Mountain Dew and a full tank of gas, and for he and his wife to be back on their way on The Road to Hana. He did not want to be concerned with the toy-less tots in Hawaii or anywhere.

Besides, can’t they play with coconuts or something?

But good conscience won-out and finally he said, “S-suuure.”

So he gave a dollar.

The Minit Stop attendant’s smile stretched habitually but sincerely and she said “thank you!” with her signature saccharin peal.

“Uh huh,” said the tourist as he and his wife hurried out the door, back into the Paia morn before they could be bothered for any more of their dollars.

Maybe you scoffed at the hem-and-hawing tourist’s scant dollar donation–but at least he gave a buck. Not like the dude who was next in line who with hardly a thought said, “No, thanks.”

Ah, the season of giving. A time of obligatory scurrying and unloading of our wallets to buy Chinese-made crap to give to people who don’t need it. And somehow it feels like a crime if we don’t waddle through Walmart and wait in lines and wrap our finds in paper made for wasting.

It is, however, perfectly acceptable for us to avoid eye contact with the Salvation Army bell ringers who flank stores entrances and exits. It’s routine to mumble something about only using our debit cards while our pockets jangle with change.

Change. All that these humble charities are asking for is a little change.

“Oh, well, I already give to such and such an organization... Oh, well, you can never account for how that money’s really being spent... Oh, well, Tacitus says, ‘Candor and

generosity, unless tempered by due moderation, leads to ruin’... Oh, well, I didn’t get shit for Christmas when I was a kid. It builds character.”

Yeah, well, shut the hell up and drop a dollar into the bucket.

See? That didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt good, right? Look, you’re no hero or whatever, but you’re decent. It’s the thing to be in this season of giving, if at any.

Boy Scouts in their uniforms rang bells and sang “Jingle Bells” on eternal repeat. A dad accompanied the elementary cacophony as best he could with his guitar. A mess of a teenage girl approached on crumbling heels and fumbled with her unfashionable purse. The way her lips hung on her jaw spoke to something between guilt and generosity, but not a word escaped them.

She exhumed a wad of crumpled ones, and began to stuff the locked, red lacquered bucket. The slot was narrow, and she had to put them in one or two at a time.

“Ho, boys! Look at dis! One, tree, four, six–wow! Six dollars!”

But the girl was not done. Seven. Ten.

“Ho, boys! Look at dis!

One, tree, four, six– wow! Six dollars!”

Twelve. Thirteen. She stuffed that bucket until she had nothing left but a smile.

“Wow. Thirteen dollars! Boys, boys–hey, give her a candy cane. And what do you say?”

“Thank you and Merry Christmas!” said the ad hoc choir, awed.

The shoppers in the teenage girl’s wake did one of three things. They either did not notice, smiled and rushed to give dollars of their own, or averted their gaze and scurried on to the next obligatory engagement in this season of giving. ■

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid

anu@mauitime.com

36

DECEMBER 15, 2011

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HOROSCOPE

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Here’s my dilemma: there’s something wonderful about the way a hot tub can soothe beleaguered muscles after an intense workout—but the hot tub at my gym is kind of gross. So which outweighs the other? The grossness of the hot tub or the pleasure of a soak? This kind of quandary is strikingly similar to the one you’ll likely face this week. Of course, only you can figure out which side of the scale ultimately weighs more, but I hope that you, like me, will at least try to figure it out from firsthand experience. I won’t be able to decide, for example, until I know: just how gross is it, and just how good does it feel?

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Comparing your life to a sitcom or fantasy version of life is only likely to make you feel bad. Yours isn’t so awful; it only sucks when you compare it to virtually unreachable realities (by anyone, not just you). Even though the holidays are the time when such comparisons seem almost unavoidable, you should train yourself out of those shitty mental habits. Focus instead on everything in your life that rocks, and build from there. And if there’s not a whole lot that’s great, just think how much better 2012 will be, than 2011 was.

worries or fears doesn’t mean they aren’t real. Yes, according to logic, your anxieties are probably somewhat ridiculous—but so are everyone else’s. Fears are rarely rational, and deserve compassion, not dismissal. If someone’s encouraging you to conquer your fears, that’s one (fairly wonderful, if uncomfortable) thing. If they’re telling you to “just get over it,” though, that’s quite another. Try to heed suggestions that might help you move on a little. However, tell the other dicks to suck it; their hypocrisy is not helping matters.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 6

1: B–Purge their library card database of everyone who hasn’t checked something out in the past three years.

2: A–Maui’s average daily room rate rose nearly nine percent over the same month last year even though occupancy dropped a percentage point from last October.

3: C–46 percent.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Context is so important. What might be mean, over-the-top, or completely inappropriate with one person or in one situation would be witty, funny, or exciting in another. When we screw this up, it can be embarrassing (and, yes, funny, if only to others), but it happens to everyone, so all you can do is apologize as gracefully as possible and be patient while you wait for it to blow over. Meanwhile, don’t worry so much; putting your foot in your mouth can be more fun for the rest of us than you getting it right; so stop trying to be perfect and just go for it.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

You like all things to be more or less reasonable, so when someone’s completely unreasonable and potentially irrational requests or demands come your way, you’re liable to shut down completely instead of, say, humoring them or seeking a compromise. I understand how you feel, but the problem is, many people just aren’t as downright reasonable and logical as you are. I suppose it’s fair for you to simply say, “Anyone who can’t rise to my level of discourse and negotiation can just go suck it,” but you’d be shutting many people out. Bend a little more than you strictly should, this week.

Everyone will be happier for it—surprisingly, even you.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

When you’re as flexible and accommodating as you are, you’ll encounter people who just push and push, simply to see how far you’ll go. They’ll never have enough, because it’s not about what you’ve already given, but how much more you might yet give. I can understand how such treatment might make you jaded, but that can work against you when you treat a mostly fair person like one of these pushy douches. Don’t let them poison you, though.

Not everyone’s like that. This week, try to hear a reasonable request for what it is, instead of cynically imagining it as the first of many demands you can never fulfill, and just accommodate it.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Sometimes part of being there for someone is lending them an attentive, sympathetic ear, even if their stories are boring, lame, or repetitious. (Of course, if they have no redeeming characteristics to offset their crappy anecdotes, then why are you hanging out with them at all?) However, most people put up with plenty, usually without complaint, to be your friend. Be kind enough to return the favor. Part of being a friend/lover is taking the good with the bad—and if the bad is just having to sit through some tedious talk, consider yourself very blessed.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

If you’re hunting for permission to do the thing you want to do, but really shouldn’t, you’ll certainly find it, if you look hard enough. Eventually, someone’s bound to say the thing you really want to hear, thereby magically canceling out all the other advice you received from everyone else. That, however, is seriously lame.

Either (wo)man up and just do what you want to do, and to hell with the consequences, or buckle down and do what you know is right, forgetting this other thing for good. Seeking some flimsy outside validation is a cop-out; either way, don’t bother.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Just because someone else doesn’t understand or respect your

You’re notoriously good at letting bygones be bygones. You’re really too lazy to sustain a grudge for long. Once something’s been resolved to your satisfaction (which usually doesn’t take much), you move on pretty completely. That’s not so true of others, though. Even when they say they’re over it, they’re not, always.

Before you get all high and mighty, though, cut them a little slack for a while—not everyone can bounce back as quickly as you, after all. However, at some point, enough’s enough. They need to forgive and truly forget, or you’ll help them—by disappearing.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

If you’re an interesting, open-minded person, you populate your life with many different kinds of people. That means that some of these people will not like, approve of, or get along with each other, no matter how much they love you. This can be painful, when it’s people quite close to you who don’t see eye-to-eye (such as your parents and romantic partner), but most of these potential conflicts or uncomfortable situations can be avoided by being astute and realistic enough to recognize these potential pitfalls before they happen. It’s a wonderful thing to try to broaden people’s horizons a little, but it’s quite another to cultivate a social disaster. This week, be careful about crossing that line—you’re perilously close.

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LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Pretty people enjoy perks those of us with more average looks don’t, often without even realizing it (“Isn’t everyone this nice to everyone?”). The downside of being attractive, however, is they’re not often challenged to develop actual skills that can help them out when their looks inevitably fade. Other advantages can also subtly discourage personal development (by making it less necessary); since Libras are often gifted with many natural talents (and frequently with beauty), you must constantly focus on developing yourself and evolving on your own, even when the world doesn’t present you with any pressing “need” to do so—lest when you do need such skills, you find yourself without.

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SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

It’s not your job to mend emotional rifts caused by others, but if you can do it, why wouldn’t you? Sure, you’re well within your rights to simply stay out of it, but occasionally, butting your nose into someone else’s business is just what’s required to help them get over themselves and their stubborn, stupid issue.

Since the people involved here are as obstinate as they get, and since you love them dearly, climb out on a limb and see if there’s anything you can do. Of course, you might just get a slap in the face and no thanks at all, but if you can help them patch things up, isn’t that worth the risk?

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