14.02 Cover The Gulf, July 1, 2010, Volume 14, Issue 2, MauiTime

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Contents

VOLUME 14 ✚ ISSUE 02 5 NEWS & VIEWS

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What would you use to plug the Gulf oil leak?

Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter Vuvuzelas Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Dead dolphins Data Manager: Philippa Tilley Mocha frappe Proofreader: Dina Wilson

Coconut Wireless says telescope size matters. Tommy Russo tests out the new Bank of Hawaii app. Local bugs go on the endangered list in By the Numbers.

Charles Djou, Sarah Palin and FOX News invent a controversy in Spin Cycle. Open Letters frets about forks. Quizunderstood asks about a Hawaiian channel and a presidential assassination. Pidgin debate ies into Reader Feedback. Medical devices double as sex toys in News of the Weird. Eh Brah! trips over an inconsiderate jogger.

Intern: Sierra Brown Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Beau Ewan, Nancy Kanyuk, Doug Levin, Jared Libby, Greg Mebel, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower Art Director: Chris Skiles (808) 281-8975 / chris@mauitime.com Those damn dirty British

10 FEATURE STORY Former MauiTime staff reporter Kate Bradshaw, now in Florida, ďŹ lls us in on the Deepwater Horizon disaster. Spoiler alert: the news ain’t good.

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Twilight fans General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter BP execs Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com A tampon

15 FOOD & DRINK Jen Russo digs the gourmet grinds at Mama’s and talks story with an Oahu mixologist.

17 MUSIC SCENE Anu Yagi gets the skinny on Fat Freddy’s Drop.

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Twitter

18 Film Critique

Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

Barry Wurst II says the new Twilight installment bites.

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Rush Limbaugh MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright Š 2009 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.

Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

19

Film Capsules/Listings

20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS Fourth of July festivities and some First Friday fun.

Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid 22

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter

28 BACK PAGES

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

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by Jacob Shafer

News + Views

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

The Week in Review Dan Inouye now three heartbeats away from the presidency With the death of West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd this week, Sen. Inouye became the longest-serving member of the Senate and was given the title of president pro-tempore.

Practically, that means Inouye presides over the Senate when Vice President Biden is unavailable (perhaps undergoing footfrom-mouth removal surgery). It also places Inouye third in line for the presidency, behind Biden and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. As Hawaii Rep. Gil KeithAgaran pointed out via Twitter, between Obama and Inouye, the Aloha state is well represented, presidential succession-wise.

Hawaii Superferry: the gift that keeps on taking In March 2008, shortly before the Hawaii Supreme Court ordered it out of the water, MauiTime contributor Rob Parsons referred to the Superferry as an “albatross of inter-island travel.” More than two years

Morioka recently told Pacific Business News, leaving a scant $39 million and change. That cost, Morika said, will be absorbed mostly by shipping heavyweights like Matson and Young Bros. And who do you imagine they’ll pass it on to?

Our telescope’s bigger than your telescope The Big Island moved one step closer to housing the world’s largest telescope this week, as the University of Hawaii Board of Regents approved construction of the Thirty Meter Telescope (TMT) on Mauna Kea. The TMT’s EIS has already gotten the go-ahead from Gov. Lingle, and now the matter moves to the Department of Land and Natural Resources, which must issue a permit. “The Thirty Meter Telescope will take us on an exciting journey of astronomical discovery, and the benefits that will flow from the project will go far beyond scientific results,” gushed UH President M.R.C. Greenwood in a June 28 release. Some Native Hawaiian groups and environmentalists are, predictably, less than thrilled. Meanwhile, the TMT may soon

I can handle living in a world where the guy bagging my toilet paper is battling cancer on ten bucks an hour and limited-to-nonexistent health care. But to think he might have smoked a joint the night before? later, even with the Alakai and Huakai back home in Mobile, Alabama, those words ring true. If you’ve followed this issue, you’ll remember that the legislature approved $40 million in general obligation bonds to pay for ferry-specific harbor improvements on the four major islands. How much of that has been paid off? Less than $1 million, Department of Transportation director Brennon

have competition in the size department when, according to an AP report, a consortium of European countries builds the bigger, and even less creatively named, Extremely Large Telescope. Seriously, somebody buy these guys a thesaurus.

If spending equaled results, Hawaii schools would be fine According to a report released this week by the U.S. Census Bureau, Hawaii’s

public schools spent an average of $11,800 per pupil in 2007-’08.

That’s more than 37 other states, and $1,500 higher than the national average.

Meanwhile, in other key areas—test scores, instructional days, graduation rate—the picture isn’t so rosy. The obvious conclusion is that there’s waste and inefficiency in the system. We’re in an election year, which means a lot of politicians will say they have a solution to this problem. Whether any of them actually do is another matter.

Wal-Mart’s new motto: safety first, cancer patients second Hawaii’s voter-approved medical marijuana law is a muddled, ill-defined mess. That won’t change until we elect a new governor, and then only if we elect the right governor. But even if the law is made to work, patients may face unforeseen problems (besides running out of snacks).

Take the case of a Wal-Mart employee in Michigan who was fired after testing positive for pot. Never mind that he has, according to a CNN dispatch, a “rare form of cancer in his nasal cavity and brain” and is one of thousands of Michigan residents with a legal prescription under state law. Wal-Mart must “put the safety of its customers and associates first.” (The ACLU is suing, arguing in a release that “no employer should be allowed to intrude upon private medical choices made by employees in consultation with their doctors.”) Let me be the first to say: thank you Wal-Mart. I can handle living in a world where the guy bagging my toilet paper is battling cancer on ten bucks an hour and limited-to-nonexistent health care.

But to think he might have smoked a joint the night before? That’s going too far. ■

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THE BLOG ROLL Want to select the next Chief Justice of the Hawaii Supreme Court? All you’ll need is a time machine and an election team capable of getting you to the governor’s office.

Failing that, you can...

Read more at mauifeed.com

Even as it faces increased competition from Whole Foods, Down to Earth is slated to open a new store on Oahu in 2011. The health food chain—founded on Maui in the ’70s—is also planning...

Read more at mauidish.com

The Throwdowns tear up Mulligan’s on the Blue. Wish you were here. See, This Week’s Picks is where it’s at. Where...

Read more at mauivents.com

Let’s say you were cryogenically frozen in 1996 and unfrozen yesterday. You might remember Tim Burton as the offbeat autuer behind darkly comic cinematic gems like Beetle Juice and Edward Scissorhands. So, when perusing the shelves at your neighborhood video store you might...

Read more at mauivents.com

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by Tommy Russo

News + Views

tommy@mauitime.com + @tommyrusso on Twitter

By the NUMBERS

16 Number of candidates officially

Testing out the TECH BoH App BITES T

newsest devices. Slowness can be caused by slow AT&T data, slow hardware (older iPhone) or BoH's data servers.

Although I don't question the inclusion of the ATM and branch finder, most folks using the app already know where their bank and ATMs are located. This strikes me as another step by the banking industry to keep their overhead low and maximize profits by encouraging people to skip a physical branch.

I'd also like to see an Android version (Google's open mobile OS) and more intrergration with text messaging.

Slowness and other minor quibbles aside, I'd expect most iPhoneusing BoH customers will find tremendous value in having the 30days account balance and history info this app provides. ■

0 Number who are from Maui County

33 percent Portion by which demand for doctors on Maui exceeds supply, according to a recent assessment PHOTOS BY DAN POLHEMUS/USFWS

wo weeks ago, Bank of Hawaii released their the long-awaited iPhone app. BoH for iPhone was built by MShift, the Silicon Valley-based software firm that has built at least four other banking apps for various Mainland banks. Bank of Hawaii has begun marketing the app (which is free) to their online customers during the login process to boh.com.

BoH for iPhone provides quick, easy, mobile to access your boh.com accounts, allows you to geo-locate branches and ATMs and transfer funds between accounts. If you’ve already sucummed to BoH’s $6 per month online payment fee, you can easily manage your payments on the go.

A few days ago I added the BoH app to my iPhone. Just as with BoH online banking, BoH for iPhone requires additional login info the first time you access your data on a new device. I find this aditional login process both good and bad. Although I’m slightly irritated by the extra step, it speaks to the larger mission of online security and protection from fraud. The app also quickly logs you out while idling for security purposes.

After successfully logging I attempted to quickly check my checking account balance, key word being quickly.

Accessing the data over 3G on my iPhone 3G was slow, though it probably isn't fair to pin this on the app itself. First, I haven't yet tested it over wifi or on the

running for Governor of Hawaii

2 Number of Hawaiian damselfly species added to the federal endangered list last week; officials have been monitoring the status of the flying earwig and Pacific Hawaiian damselflies since the mid-’90s Sources: Hawaii Office of Elections, University of Hawaii John A. Burns School of Medicine Hawaii Health Workforce Assessment, U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife

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SPIN CYCLE Jonesing for controversy...

“Hawaii GOP Rep. Charles Djou...says he’s ‘disappointed’ that Mr. Obama has failed to waive the Jones Act, an antiquated 1920 law mandating that goods shipped between U.S. ports be handled

by U.S.-built and -owned ships manned by U.S. crews. Unions fiercely support the law as a means of preserving U.S. jobs. In this case, though, the law might be hindering the recovery of hundreds of thousands of Gulf Coast jobs.”

- From a June 16 release titled “Is Obama Doing Everything in His Power to Fight the Spill?” Djou, along with other prominent Republicans including John McCain and Sarah Palin, has called on Obama to temporarily repeal the Jones Act, which mandates that ships carrying cargo between U.S. ports be American made and owned. In a June 11 FOX News

interview, Palin said, “It’s amazing to me and to so many others that though President Bush had been able to waive Jones Act provisions for Katrina, President Obama hasn’t thought to do that yet.”

“Currently 15 foreign-flagged vessels are involved in the largest response to an oil spill in U.S. history. No Jones Act waivers have been granted because none of these vessels have required such a waiver to conduct their operations as part of the response in the Gulf of Mexico. While we have not seen any need to waive the Jones Act as part of this historic response, we continue to prepare for all possible scenarios...”

- From information posted June 18 on the official Deepwater Horizon Horizon Response Web site. According to the nonpartisan organization FactCheck.org, “Reports claiming that the federal government has refused help are not only incorrect—foreign assistance has been utilized—

but are also misleading...”

Oh, and since Plain brought up Hurricane Katrina: “[T]he United States...fail[ed] to collect most of the unprecedented outpouring of international cash assistance for Katrina’s victims. Allies offered $854 million in cash and in oil that was to be sold for cash. But only $40 million has been used so far for disaster victims or reconstruction, according to U.S. officials and contractors. Most of the aid went uncollected, including $400 million worth of oil.... In addition, valuable supplies and services-such as cellphone systems, medicine and cruise ships--were delayed or declined because the government could not handle them. In some cases, supplies were wasted.”

- From an April 2007 Washington Post report titled “Most Katrina Aid From Overseas Went Unclaimed”

July 1, 2010

7

News + Views

Re the June 24

QUIZunderstood 1. Recently, MauiTime marked the 13th anniversary of its first issue, published in June 2007. What infamous murderer was convicted and sentenced to death that same month?

2. The Kealaikahiki Channel runs between Lanai and Kahoolawe. Translated to English, what is the meaning of “kealaikahiki”?

3. In June 1900, Sanford B. Dole became the first Governor of the Hawaii Territory. By what President was Dole appointed?

Bonus: In what year was that same President assassinated?

feature “Talking Pidgin”: I could not bear to read Anu Yagi’s entire article about “our shared language.” Halfway through I knew it would be like all the others I have read over the last 30 years, praising the glories of Hawaiian creole while ignoring its destructiveness. I taught in Hawaiian public schools for ten years, and I have no doubt that Pidgin is the greatest of all impediments to kids learning here and the primary reason that our students consistently rank near the bottom in all academic areas. The problem is that pidgin has a miniscule vocabulary, a crude (undeveloped) grammar and an inability to express subtle and complex ideas.

Those who grow up speaking only or mainly Pidgin are deprived of rich language training during the ages when they can benefit from it most. Because of the local students’ poor language skills, their ability to learn in all fields goes under-developed. This is why Asian and Mainland students come here and, for the most part, leave the local kids in the dust academically. Pidgin was once a necessary tool, but now it is an IQ-stunting straitjacket that plagues our kids and handicaps them for life.

Unfortunately, it is still a symbol of phony local pride. If people want to truly be local they should learn to speak Hawaiian, a real language that will QUOTE OF THE WEEK: exercise and develop their intelligence. I think that raising kids to speak only Pidgin should be considered a form of child abuse.

See answers, page 29

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New @mauitime is pretty awesome!

Good to see my favorite writer @anuheayagi back in the mix.

Kimo Clark, @fireneverfading (via Twitter) I’ll just assume @anuheayagi used numerous quotes of mine in her @ m mauitime article about sspeaking pidgin, w without my permission.

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Re the May 27 Eh Brah!: R

JJust so you know, we ccame back for the deer.

W We had to drive home to d drop off our crossbow sso that we wouldn’t gget in trouble with the p police. Sorry Mr. Officer, I found this dead dear w with an arrow in it aand brought it home. I am a hunter. I appreciate and recognize the sacrifice this animal made to put a delicious meal on my table. The irony is that unless you are a vegetarian, you saw an animal who was dead, realized how sad it was, and did not take the animal home to eat (and in turn at least bring some validation to the deers seemingly meaningless death.) Go to McDonalds, buy a cheeseburger, and pretend that it was never a living breathing creature.

“Does this make me sound like a John and you like a prostitute? Maybe...” pg.9

Kurt Butler (via e-mail)

4. What 1989 Baldwin High graduate became a transgender performance artist and landed a recurring role on the ABC series Dirty Sexy Money in 2007?

language—for better or worse—won’t be disappearing anytime soon. Further, I don’t think it deserves to disappear in its entirety.

My intent with the piece was to present lesser-known information as to what pidgins and Creoles are, how they develop and how they eventually fade back into the lexifer.

By understanding Pidgin’s history—and exploring emerging studies that compare and contrast Creoles around the world, as well as work to better understand the semiotics of each—we can continue to define what Pidgin in Hawaii was, is and if/ how it will carry into the future. Since you “could not bear” to finish my article I know you didn’t get to this part, but I conclude that the future of Pidgin is “up to us.”

Anu responds: I’d hoped a story about Pidgin might initiate dialogue about Hawaiian Creole English, so I thank you kindly for your feedback. Indeed, “Pidgin was once a necessary tool,” and the nature of its origin is what makes it (and I stand by this) “our shared language.” I agree that people should learn to speak Hawaiian for myriad reasons, including being “truly local.” However, what can be defined as local today is not necessarily always Hawaiian. Pidgin is a testament to many cultures that have made their way to—and had influence in—the islands.

This, I believe, gives Pidgin value. Though I appreciate your concerns, I will both clarify that at no point do I advocate for Pidgin-only as well as disagree that Pidgin-only is “child abuse.” To assume that predominantly Pidgin speakers are intellectually stunted speaks to the long-standing negative perception of Pidgin (common among Creoles). I’ve had many Pidgin conversations, replete with subtlety, on complex topics.There have been occasions when certain subtleties could only be conveyed through Pidgin. This

Plate Lunch (via mauitime.com)

Send your FEEDBACK to the editor via e-mail (editor@mauitime.com), or post (Editor’s Inbox, MauiTime, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793), or check us out on Twitter (twitter. com/mauitime) and Facebook (facebook.com/mauitime).

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

by Chuck Shepherd

News + Views

chuck@mauitime.com

MAKES GOLF LOOK LIKE A TRIATHLON In the midst of World Cup fever, readers might have missed Germany’s win over host Barbados in June for the Woz Challenge Cup, following an eight-team polo tournament with players not on horses but Segways. The sport is said to have been created by Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, whose Silicon Valley Aftershocks competed again this year in Barbados (but last won the Cup in 2007).

Wozniak told ESPN.com that his own polo skills are fading, but the San Jose Mercury News reported in May that Woz’s fearlessness on the Segway seems hardly diminished. (The Mercury News report, on the Aftershocks’ local, nerd-populated league, described the players as “the pudgy and the pale” and “geek chic.”)

HEALTH CARE IS BROKEN, PART 4,237 Kathy Myers, 41, of Niles, Michigan, suffers from an increasingly painful shoulder injury but has been continually turned away from emergency rooms because the condition was not life-threatening. In June, as a last resort, she took a gun and shot herself in the shoulder, hoping for a wound serious enough for ER treatment. Alas, she missed major arteries and bones and was again sent home, except with even more pain.

SPIT HAPPENS (1) People who live or work in New York City believe themselves to be among the world’s toughest and hardiest, but at least 51 of them are apparently legendarily soft: the 51 city bus drivers who between them took 3,200 days of paid leave last year to “heal” over the single workplace “injury” of being spit on by passengers. (Thirty-two other spit-upon drivers did not request leave.) An official with the Transport Workers Union called spitting “physically and psychologically traumatic.” (2) The prominent Howrah bridge in Calcutta, India, has become a serious safety risk, according to a May report for the Calcutta Port Trust, because the steel hoods protecting the pillars holding up the bridge have been thinned by 50 percent in recent years. Engineers believe the corrosion has been caused almost entirely by the chemicals in gutkha, the popular chewing tobacco/herb concoction, which produces expectorants routinely hocked onto the bridge by the 500,000 pedestrians who cross it every day.

A VIBRATOR BY ANY OTHER NAME...

Inventor Jiro Takashima, 75, maintains that his Pro-State massager is a serious medical device (retailing for about $80), but his daughterpartner Amy Sung, 35, simultaneously markets it as a prostate sex-play toy called the Aneros at adult novelty stores (retailing for about $50).

According to a June Houston Chronicle report, Takashima’s booth at medical conventions is popular, but at sex expos, he and his daughter are “rock stars.” However, since the Pro-State/ Aneros was intended as a medical device, competing sex-toy makers have felt free to

copy Aneros’ design, and Takashima’s lawsuit to stop them is now before a federal court in Houston.

DETROIT ROCK BOTTOM Vying in recent years with Washington, D.C., as the nation’s “district of calamity” is Detroit, whose previous mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, was in May ordered to prison to serve 1-1/2 to 5 years after repeatedly violating his probation on his conviction for obstruction of justice. In June, Detroit’s school board president Otis Mathis resigned under fire, then tried to un-resign by offering to cure himself of the behavior that started his downfall, specifically, Mathis’ touching and fondling himself during several oneon-one meetings with the school system’s General Superintendent, Teresa Gueyser.

EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com Eh Mr. Sweaty Runner Man: Exercise is well and good, but how’s about you watch where you’re going? Bumping into my daughter and splashing her with sweat? Not cool. Grunting and giving her the stank eye like she did something wrong?

Less cool. Also, tight shorts are a bad idea when you don’t have much of anything to fill them up. Just a tip. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402e

CRIMINALLY INSANE In the space of about 30 minutes on a June morning, according to a Dayton Daily News report, Brian Horst, 35, shoplifted several packages of meat and a jug of Mad Dog 20/20 wine from a store, inexplicably rolled a stainless-steel tank of carbon dioxide on wheels away from a restaurant, and disabled an ATM by pounding it with a rock (after several witnesses spotted him in conversation with the screen, apparently trying to reason with the machine or possibly with an imaginary employee inside it).

THEFT AND ERRORS? IN WASHINGTON? Washington, D.C., Attorney General Peter Nickles ordered an investigation in June after learning that the city’s payroll office had, over a seven-year period, failed to remit the life-insurance premiums deducted from the paychecks of at least 1,400 employees.

Already, one employee had been told that her policy had been canceled because of the unremitted premiums. Until the investigation is finished, it is impossible to say which of the two usual explanations of chronic D.C. bureaucratic dysfunction—theft or “large-scale human error”—is applicable.

DIVINE SIGHTINGS (1) Old Forge, Pennsylvania, February (Jesus appearing in a bucket of sauce at Brownie’s Famous Pizzeria). (2) Lockport, New York, December (joint appearance of Jesus and Mary in an orange, sliced open on Christmas morning). (3) Rockford, Illinois, April (Jesus appearing in the MRI of a thoracic spine examination). (4) Brownsville, Texas, May (Mary appearing on bark from a tree toppled during a storm). (5) Salford, England, February (Jesus appearing on a frying pan following the burning of a pancake). (6) Old Hatfield, England, February (Jesus appearing on a partially burned log in a fireplace). ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402n

July 1, 2010

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IGH NOON. WE’RE ALL WEARING BLACK IN THE FLORIDA SUN. THE ATTIRE REQUIREMENT SEEMS SADISTIC, THOUGH IT WAS MANDATED BY GOOD PEOPLE: THE ORGANIZERS OF HANDS ACROSS THE SAND, AN EVENT PROTESTING OFFSHORE DRILLING. WE FACE THE WATER AND FORM A SOLEMN CHAIN. THE BLACK ISN’T COMFORTABLE, BUT SINCE THE DEEPWATER HORIZON OIL RIG EXPLODED ON APRIL 20, KILLING 11 AND QUICKLY BECOMING THE WORST ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER IN U.S. HISTORY, NEITHER ARE WE. WE’RE OUTRAGED. WE’RE MOURNING. WE WANT BP CEO TONY HAYWARD, OIL MAN DICK CHENEY AND REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN JOE BARTON OF TEXAS TO SAIL OFF INTO THE GULF WITH STRAWS AND PERSONALLY SUCK UP THIS MESS–MAYBE WASH IT DOWN WITH SOME DISPERSANTS. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, WE’RE GUILTY; MOST OF US DRIVE TO WORK EVERY DAY.

seem like a lot of dough for a few montages showing Florida’s (mostly) oil-free beaches.

Yet compared the $2.6 billion in quarterly dividends that was, until this month, slated for BP shareholders, not to mention what the oil giant can spend on its own PR campaign, it’s a drop in the barrel.

F

lorida pulls in some $65 million each year from tourism, an industry that generally does better in places where air, land and water is not soiled. So people hear about oil washing up in Florida (it’s only up in the Panhandle right now, a solid eight-hour drive from Treasure Island, where I live) and think twice about coming. “[Tourists] see the picture of Florida as one big giant state,” said Robin Grabowski, president of the Pinellas Beaches Chamber of Commerce. “They don’t recognize that though we don’t have oil, they hear the Panhandle, and the fear is statewide.”

Another major blow to the local economy

fisherman. Palladeno said he had to halt all of his charter boat trips because the federal government has closed off so much of the Gulf’s fishing grounds for fear of fish becoming contaminated with oil and dispersants. “This was actually taking me through the summer. That’s the bulk of my business– summertime business.” He estimates he’ll lose about $130,000.

Palladeno said that the feds shouldn’t arbitrarily close off a third of the Gulf to fishing.

“I wish they would have proper research and proper boats going out there before they start closing fishing areas,” he said.

For those of us who live on the Gulf, the oil disaster has been a slow-motion tsunami.

It gets worse every day; or, as independent researchers provide more credible information, we’re finding out how bad it really is.

When Deepwater Horizon exploded more than 70 days ago, we were initially told that no oil was coming from the well. Shortly thereafter, BP said that number was actually

PHOTO COURTESY OF IDEUM.COM

A prior Hands Across the Sand event took place in February, before the spill, when we Floridians were braving the worst winter in years (which wasn’t exactly a boon to our economy either). That event was statewide, and meant to catch the eye of legislators who were considering opening state waters up to oil exploration (the legislation died in Tallahassee before “loop current” became a household term).

The most recent Hands Across the Sand demonstration, held Saturday, was observed worldwide, in response to the horror in the Gulf. Even Hawaii, probably the last place in the U.S. that would ever see direct fallout from this nightmare, participated.

It comes as millions of gallons of crude continue to spew out of the seabed every day, as our state’s already-ailing economy is being brought to its knees and, conveniently enough, during an election year.

Politicians in the Gulf States have been tirelessly making the rounds, writing letters to BP and the Obama Administration demanding accountability. Democrat Bill Nelson, a senior U.S. Senator from Florida, has been one of the strongest advocates for those who BP chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg recently called “the small people.”

Nelson was among a group of senators who successfully lobbied BP to cough up $20 billion over the next four years for a trust fund to compensate people in the Gulf states dealing with lost revenue, lost jobs, lost you-name-it. He recently noted the disaster’s terrible timing.

“We have every reason to believe now that we are coming out of the recession, but it’s just going to take longer in Florida.

That’s what makes this oil thing so devastating,” Nelson, who is not up for reelection until 2012, said in Jacksonville Monday.

“Just as we were beginning to come out of it, now people are losing their livelihoods because tourists are not coming to our beaches because they’re afraid there’s oil.”

Florida Governor Charlie Crist, determined to win Florida’s other U.S. Senate seat this November, has also been a key advocate in the recovery. In May he successfully got BP to set aside $25 million for an ad campaign to convince people to come to Florida (another $25 million has since been released for this purpose). That may

100,000 barrels (4.2 million gallons). That’s an Exxon Valdez every few days.

In mid-May, the New York Times reported on voluminous oil plumes stretching for miles beneath the water’s surface, something that BP denied. In June, scientists aboard a University of South Florida research vessel confirmed the presence of these plumes, reportedly caused by BP’s use of hundreds of thousands of gallons of the oil dispersant Corexit, a chemical with as-yet unknown effects on the environment and human health. The company continues to use the chemical despite a U.S. Environmental Protection Agency order urging them to stop.

Also unknown are the effects of the underwater plumes.

“We’ve known that there’s subsurface oil,” said Steve Murawski, a researcher with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. “It’s pretty obvious that if you’ve got a source a mile down, it has to get from the bottom to the surface. So the real questions are these: Where is it? In what concentrations? Where is it going?

And what are the potential consequences for people and the health of the marine environment?”

I

nitially, BP was not helpful in getting these questions answered. USF oceanographer David Hollander said the oil giant refused to provide samples from the busted well to help him confirm whether the subsurface oil his team found was in fact a product

FOR THOSE OF US WHO LIVE ON THE GULF, THE OIL DISASTER HAS BEEN A SLOW-MOTION TSUNAMI. HIGH-END ESTIMATES PLACE THE SPILL VOLUME AT AN EXXON VALDEZ EVERY FEW DAYS. is that the seafood industry has practically been forced to a screeching halt.

“My fishery’s done. I’ve had to cancel every charter I had on the books,” said Captain Travis Palladeno, a Madeira Beach

1,000 barrels (or 42,000 gallons) a day.

They then upped that to 5,000 barrels a day (or 210,000 gallons) in early May. The sum has since undergone several revisions, and the high end of the most recent estimate is

of the disaster (last week BP finally handed some over).

They haven’t exactly been forthcoming with elected officials, either. Members of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce

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have grilled execs from BP and other energy-related corporations, frustration visibly mounting after hours of stonewalling.

One grilling in particular stands out from these hearings, which aim to get to the bottom of what went wrong. Joseph Cao, a Republican U.S. Representative from New Orleans, said the following at a June 15 hearing to BP America CEO Lamar McKay, who looked pale, exhausted and dejected: “In the Asian culture we do things differently. During the Samurai days we’d just give you a knife and ask you commit harakire,” Cao said. “The cleanup process has been a disgrace, the claims process has been dismal.”

Sheila Jackson, a Houston-area Democratic Representative, decried the oil industry at that same hearing.

“You failed. You have patently failed,” said McKay, who sat on a panel that included the heads of Exxon-Mobil and Chevron. “You don’t know us and you don’t want to know us.”

At that hearing some Republican lawmakers said blame also lies with federal regulators, given that the Minerals Management Service looked the other way while BP practically submitted coloring books as spillresponse plans. BP claimed that not only could it easily contain a gusher significantly larger than the one they’re currently struggling with, but also that gulf wildlife, including »

» walruses, would be a-OK if such an event were to occur. Surely, if walruses actually existed in the Gulf of Mexico, they’d be in the same boat as dolphins and Kemps-Ridley turtles (it was revealed last week that BP is torching thousands of barrels of recovered oil daily in an area frequented by sea turtles).

Investigative reporter Greg Palast recently wrote a piece for BuzzFlash.com in which he said BP, a British company, is “deeply involved with our democracy.” In late May he told me just how far these ties go.

“Bob Malone, who is chairman of BP America, was also co-chair of the Alaska state re-elect George Bush campaign,” he said. “Here we have this foreign company involved in our political process, deeply.”

He said the January Supreme Court ruling that essentially equates corporations with people will make it easier for BP to work its corporate magic in Washington, even as politicians across the board are wagging their flaccid fingers at the oil giant.

“Under the recent Supreme Court ruling, British Petroleum in London, as well as Shell Oil in London and Amsterdam, can put endless amounts of money into campaigns through their U.S. corporate entities,” said Malone. “So we’re going to see massive, massive lobbying and spending by British Petroleum–you can count on this–which was, until a few months ago, illegal.”

S

o yes, those of us who have to live with BP’s bad decisions aren’t in the highest of spirits these days. But still, we have to stand and be counted, and at ten past noon this fine Saturday, that is what we do. Despite the heat we stand in solidarity for about ten minutes in an awkward chain.

We face the ultra-turquoise Gulf of Mexico, and mutter criticisms about those who are playing in the gentle surf when they should be standing with us.

“Maybe we should tell them there’s been an oil spill,” someone says. This elicits a chuckle or two. Gallows humor.

A plane flies above, pulling behind it the name of an unknown candidate in the race for Florida’s open U.S. Senate seat. The banner ad states said candidate’s stance on offshore drilling–he’s against it, as one might imagine.

Everyone cheers. Of course, every politician these days is more or less against offshore drilling, though there are some grey areas, so he or she can easily decry drilling off our coasts and still support drilling operations closer to shore than Deepwater Horizon.

The airplane-banner candidate is running in the same race that’s been making national and international headlines for months, the one that apparently drove Governor Charlie Crist to ditch the Republican party after the polls showed him trailing Tea Party darling

Marco Rubio–who vaguely supports some offshore operations–by double digits.

On this beach, the sand is soft. Millions of little purple shells coat the shoreline. Pelicans circle and nosedive into the Gulf. Dolphins are a regular sight. All this, and not a drop of oil. The water is fine, but unless you’re here, you probably don’t know that.

Whether or not we’re in industries directly impacted by the disaster, we’re all trying to fend off an unfathomable sense of dread.

Still, some see a silver lining in this tangible doom.

“One of the overriding lessons I think we all need to take from this is this dependence we have on fossil fuel,” said Governor Crist. “I understand that all of us are guilty because a lot of our cars use it, but there are alternatives we need to be moving toward. I mean, we’ve been talking about this for 30 years in this country.”

Clearly, it’s time to turn the talk into action. ■

Kate Bradshaw is senior reporter/producer at WMNF 88.5 FM, an independent community radio station in Tampa, Florida.You can check out more of her oil spill coverage at wmnf.org/news.

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BP WILL CONTINUE TO WORK ITS CORPORATE MAGIC IN WASHINGTON, EVEN AS POLITICIANS ACROSS THE BOARD ARE WAGGING THEIR FLACCID FINGERS AT THE OIL GIANT.

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by Jen Russo

Food + Drink

jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

Mama’s Knows Best The fresh fish is only beginning at this quintessential Maui gem Mama’s Fish House 799 Poho Pl. (off Hana Hwy.), Paia 579-8488 or mamasfishhouse.com

M

ama’s Fish House is the quintessential Maui dining experience. So it was almost embarrasing to admit I’d never had more than cocktails and pupus here.

From the moment you turn off Hana Highway at their landmark boat and roll down their seaside driveway, your senses are stimulated. The strip of Kuau land the restaurant and inn occupy is geologically well-endowed, with its own private beach and coconut grove; guests are invited to stroll at their leisure and take photos. When you check in with the hostess behind the banyan tree archway the excitement is palpable and the smells are already fantastic.

The retro-Polynesian charm is genuine.

Owners Floyd and Doris Christenson fell in love with the South Pacific and have been traveling throughout the region for many years. The vintage tablecloths, the old architecture, the antiques and music all harken back to a time that’s as gently intoxicating as it is difficult to capture. I’ve never seen as many vintage aloha prints in one room as I did on the restaurant servers. To ensure you get to take advantage of their best seats and service make reservations, but they alsodo their best to accommodate walk-ins.)

Each meal is orchestrated with finesse and precision. It begins with fish guru Mike Pascher, who works with the fishermen bringing in catches that appear with their names on the menu. “If you’re eating closedseason fish, it’s coming from imports,” says Pascher. “You won’t see that here at Mama’s.”

Four master cutters get to work on the fish before handing it off to Executive Chef Perry Bateman and his team of sous chefs, Harold Symonds, Tom Sawatsanthia and Kapuni Tupua. Chef Perry has a mantra for them: “Tasting is essential. Everyone taste, communicate and work in harmony!”

That sense of harmony shines through

Executive Chef Perry Bateman and his team of sous chefs, Harold Symonds, Tom Sawatsanthia and Kapuni Tupua with owner Karen Marshall.

on the menu, which melds Tahitian and Polynesian-inspired dishes with fresh Maui ingredients. The Christensons’ have been intensely and solely focused on Mama’s since the doors opened in 1973 and that continues to this day. They often dine in their restaurant, meaning you still get glimpses of Mama in her element.

The stuffed mahi mahi is a signature dish and a must-try. (I recently visited Yelp.com to reminisce my Mama’s mahi experience with others and found that people all over the world love this dish.) Mahi baked to perfection with a stuffing of lobster, crab and aromatic Maui onion, served with grilled corn, lobster in the shell, asparagus and rice pilaf. I ordered a side of poi ; it was incredibly fresh, its made here.

The fresh raw fish starters are another can’t-miss option; ono in coconut milk is served in the coconut shell, poisson cru style. It’s a direct and delicious reminder that the Polynesians are foodies.

Every meal starts with complementary warm fresh-baked honey wheat bread and an elegant soup tasting served in a glazed ceramic cup. The lobster guacamole is a personal Mama’s staff serves it up.

favorite; the lobster is incredible atop the quac and comes served with sweet potato crisps that I kept snacking on throughout my meal.

Their crab cakes are also fantastic. The macadamia highlights the irresistible texture of the fresh crab meat seasoned and lightly fried, and the housemade relish adds lightness. There are a few items not on the menu so listen to your server, and don’t shy away from trying these exotic specialties. I tried the kama, or fish collar, deep fried and served with dipping sauce and cucumber namasu. The tender fish chunks, derived from the cheeks, are prized for flavor.

With so many amazing options, it’s hard to hold out for dessert. Every options screams out to be tried, so much so you could make the trip just for dessert and coffee, but here’s my tip: they make their own ice cream and sorbet, in small batches so the flavors change often. When I last visited the mint cookiesand-cream was so good I wanted to order a pint to take home. The chocolate Kuau pie is a chocoholic’s dream, with a caramel layer in between the rich ganache mousse and cookie crust. Mama’s is most famous for the Polynesian Black Pearl, chocolate mousse served in an elaborate pastry shell. Their creme brulee was featured on the Food Network’s Best Thing I Ever Ate earlier this year.

The experience at Mama’s is just that: a whole body, mind and soul food experience. And for this reviewer, it was well worth the wait. ■

Got a hot food or drink scoop? Contact Jen Russo at 808-280-3286 or fax to 808-244-0446.

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402d For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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ecently, during the Kapalua Wine festivities, I caught up with Oahu bartender and master mixologist Joey Gottsman poolside at the Ritz at the Better Brands Liquid Luxury Event. Here’s an excerpt from our conversation...

Jen Russo: What's inspiring you in the realm of cocktails at the moment?

Joey Gottesman: I'm inspired by the “cocktail culture” resurgence here in our state, the guests that enjoy having a wellengineered drink and the bartenders that are willing to perpetuate fine cocktail principles and fresh bar concepts.

JR: I'm noticing a big comeback and trend with bitters and herbs, but I haven't seen it break through to most bars. Is the gift of mixology lost at the neighborhood pub level?

JG: For the most part the neighborhood pub is a place to get your Jack and Coke, your Sapphire and Tonic and a nice cold beer with a smile. However, they can, and often do, have inspired bartenders that are honing their mixology skills. These little gems are where you'll find cocktails that are created with hardto-find bitters, exotic seasonal fruits, herbs and spices that the bartenders are sourcing themselves and on their own time.

JR: There are a few gems on Maui, like Ambrosia in Kihei, that keep the ingredients and take the time to craft something for you. But honestly I was at a club where all they do is cocktails and dancing and I couldn’t get a simple martini.

Tell me about a few of the cocktails you designed and featured here at Liquid Luxury?

JG: The French 75 is Bombay Sapphire, fresh lemon juice, Waiwera water, Taittinger Prestige Cuvee and simple syrup. The lemongrass and rose essenced sparkling Bombay Sapphire

Joey Gottesman.

gimlet is Alize Rose and Bombay Sapphire flash infused with fresh lemon grass, served on the rocks with fresh pressed lime and capped with waiwera sparkling.

JR: Wow. I want to sit at your bar more often. Name a few of your favorite wines.

JG: Bombay Sapphire, Corzo Tequila Anejo, Gentleman Jack and Highland Park 18 year… oops! Did you say wine? I’m enjoying a rose’ phase right now. Next week, merlot perhaps.

I tend to be very situational with my wines, but I will never turn down a well-engineered and properly made cocktail. ■

Got a hot food or drink scoop? Contact Jen Russo at 808-280-3286 or fax to 808-244-0446.

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402d2 For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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by Anu Yagi

Music Scene

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Freddy’s Set Go Kiwi collective has its sights trained on Maui

Fat Freddy’s Drop Next Gig: Saturday (July 3), 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, $25 advance/$30 door Essential Tracks: “Rain,” “Shiverman,” “The Raft”

I

f a locale can be cartographied by the notes of its musicians, Fat Freddy’s Drop is a seven-headed band of rogue hydrographic surveyors. Hailing from Aotearoa—buried on the other side of the bend at 41°17´S 174°27´E—these musical seafarers have mapped the coasts of a Kiwi soundscape seen through an international spyglass.

“Because we’re isolated, I think we look out a lot,” says Mark Williams (aka MC Slave), who directed many of the band’s music videos, including “Boondigga,” the feature track off their latest studio album, Dr. Boondigga and the Big BW. “That’s an advantage, rather than a disadvantage,” he adds. “We’re lucky because we get to pick the best of many things [and] only really good things make it that far.”

“You’re left to your own devices, [so you] go about your business and make it the way you want it,” says Williams. Fat

Freddy’s Drop seems to do nothing but.

Even their art direction is color-saturated and often cartoonish, a reflection of what Williams calls “what’s funny and exciting at this moment in time.” “[The band has] always got their necks widely spread—really searching, in efforts to find the best stuff,” Williams continues. As we speak on the phone I can hear, over and between his accented answers, the shouts and laughs of “the boys” and their entourage as they roll down Hollywood Boulevard en route to a sound check at the Henry Fonda Theater. (If they have any sort of pre-show ritual, Williams says, it’s just “a bit of pacing, vocal exercises, horn trills and uncapping of beers.”) After their California shakedown, the group takes to Hawaiian stages—including Saturday at the MACC’s Castle Theater—

before heading back Down Under, and then off to close out the summer in Europe.

Natural navigators, the band has charted course through worldwide tours and “absorbed a few influences along the way: Berlin bashment, Portuguese top 40, Tooting Bhangra Beat and Montmartre TV shop Techno Hi-Life,” says trumpeter Tony Chang (aka Toby Laing). Fat Freddy’s Drop claims to draw “inspiration from almost every part of the black music lexicon,” and, indeed, their sound is decidedly soulful dub, replete with the spirit of jazz.

Their debut album, Based On A True Story (or B.O.A.T.S.) has gone platinum eight times since its release in 2005, and is the first independent release (under their own label, The Drop) ever to debut at number one on the New Zealand charts. Fans waited four years for Dr. Boondigga, which has already gone twice platinum, living up to its highly anticipated status.

Fat Freddy’s Drop has also released two live albums, Live at the Matterhorn (2001) and most recently, Live at The Roundhouse (2010). Recorded in London, Roundhouse dropped on June 14, and can be previewed on the band’s Web site, fatfreddysdrop.com.

Evidenced in these recordings is the band’s smooth stage styling—grooves like dark, rippled water, brightened with funk falling like backspray off of waves.

“You can’t get away with not having a live show experience as part of your act,” says Williams of the music industry in the digital age. “The live experience is the single best reason that the word of mouth spreads.”

Despite their tight act, for the band, “songs get worked out live,” Williams says, with many ideas maturing as they progress.

When Fat Freddy’s Drop makes their way to Hawaiian turf, concert-goers can look

forward to “a couple of old [songs] that the boys haven’t played in a long time... much older tracks that have been reinvented and reworked,” says Williams. Too, he says the band is excited to debut “a couple brand spanking new things going down straight at the moment,” with the overall set set-to-be “a good taste of old and fresh.”

Hawaii fans will likely sense between band members what New Zealand’s The Pulse calls a “whanau vibe” (a Maori word, akin to “hanai” in Hawaiian). With seven players on the roster, this kind of extended-family bond is essential. Resonating in the horn section are Chang, Hopepa (aka Joe Lindsay) on trombone and tuba and Chopper Reedz (aka Scott Towers) on saxophone. Fitchie (aka DJ Mu/Chris Faiumu) and Dobie Blaze (aka Iain Gordon) get technical on MPC and keys/ synth, respectively, while Jetlag Johnson (aka Tehimana Kerr) and Joe Dukie (aka Dallas Tamaira) take to the six strings.

Dukie, also the band’s primary lyricist, puts the beveled vocal stamp on Fat Freddy’s Drop. On “The Raft,” he croons, “Oh lonely island, so rich and fair/we leave your shores for reasons unclear,” in a sultry South Pacific tone that will both shimmy your shoulders and break your heart.

Williams—who in his direction of the “Boondigga” video shows the band narrowly escaping a fat syringe of smoking green sludge, at the evil hand of Dr. Boondigga— clarifies somewhat, saying that since “the band has escaped the clutches of Dr. Boondigga, that’s why they’re on tour.”

Freed, Fat Freddy’s spyglass sight is trained on the 808, and Mauians should prepare to greet—and enjoy—the envoy. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402m

July 1, 2010 17

Film Critique

by Barry Wurst II barry@mauitime.com

Suck Fest Twi-hards forgive me: this series just keeps getting worse Twilight Saga: Eclipse

★★★★★

Rated PG13/124 min.

J

ust seven months after enduring New Moon, we get chapter three of the popular but vacuous Twilight series. It’s also been nineteen months since that classroom of Kihei Charter School students sent this newspaper a pile of letters protesting my negative review of Twilight.

I wasn’t aware of the popularity of the bestselling books the film was based on when walking into the first installment. Now I realize that I’m not just reviewing a movie, but a cultural phenomenon. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make the movies suck any less.

Bella (again played lifelessly by Kristen Stewart) still can’t decide between her vampire boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) or werewolf hunk Jacob (Taylor Lautner), and continues to string them both along. Meanwhile, an army of outsider

18 July 1, 2010

vampires led by Bryce Dallas Howard are after Bella, which prompts her supernatural suitors to call a truce and protect her.

All of this is preformed without passion, conviction or even mild enthusiasm.

Why Edward and Jacob are still fighting over the most uninteresting girl in Seattle is a mystery. Also mind boggling is why Oscar-nominee Anna Kendrick, who nearly stole Up in the Air, is still slumming it in the thankless BFF role, though she’s a ray of sunshine next to the embalmed Stewart.

Pattinson still confuses posing with acting and Dakota Fanning gives her first genuinely bad performance (robotic line readings aren’t automatically scary). Then there’s Lautner, the breakout sex symbol of the series. His acting reminds me of an overzealous teen trying too hard in the high school play; he’s so terrible that he’s almost fun to watch.

Yes, Lautner is shirtless for most of the movie. My wife argued that this was necessary, since he’s a warm-blooded werewolf and

Boys, I’ve met someone. He’s a mummy.

despite the cold, visibly overcast Seattle weather, a shirt may be too hot for him. Fine, I responded, then why aren’t the female werewolves and the unattractive older men in his pack also topless?

The first and second halves of this are punishingly dull; the only sport is in trying not to cringe during the the dreadful dialogue. My favorite line is when Bella tells Edward, “you look worried,” when, in fact, Pattinson has been wearing the exact same blank expression for the entire movie.

The last 15 minutes are at least lively, with a “threesome” tent scene that could be the campiest of the year and a brief monster tussle with over-the-top fight choreography.

To the Twi-hards and Kihei Charter School

students reading this: look, I tried. I know what it’s like to get excited for each new installment of a beloved movie franchise.

In my youth, I eagerly attended all of the popular but asinine Police Academy movies and realize now that widespread fandom and quality are not the same thing. Young girls aren’t stupid for loving Twilight, just as young boys aren’t stupid for loving Star Wars.

The real villains here are the filmmakers, who give their overly appreciative, rapt audience the bare minimum. Other than Lautner at the gym, no one here is breaking a sweat—and it shows. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402f

Film Capsules

New This Week TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE - PG13 - Fantasy Shirtless werewolves? Sparkly vampires? Long, angsty stares? You had me at Twilight. 124 min.

THE LAST AIRBENDER (3D) - Fantasy - M. Night Shyamalan directs this epic about a young man who rises to meet his destiny and fight off an invading horde of supernatural baddies before Haley Joel Osment shows up and reveals he’s been a ghost all along. 103 min.

Now Showing THE A-TEAM - PG13 - Action - The ‘80s TV show gets an update, though presumably fools will still be pitied. Liam Neeson stars. Seriously. 117 min.

GET HIM TO THE GREEK - R - Comedy - A record company stooge (Jonah Hill) babysits a flamboyant rock star (Russell Brand) and they spend a quiet night playing Charades. Or something. 109 min.

GROWN UPS - PG13 - Comedy - A large chunk of the early ‘90s SNL cast (led by the most successful alumni, Adam Sandler and Chris Rock) reunite for a feel-good family comedy liberally sprinkled with bodily function jokes. 117 min.

IRON MAN 2 - PG13 - Action - Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark and his metallic alter ego. And Sabbath gets some more royalty checks. 125 min.

JONAH HEX - PG13 - Action, Drama - Josh Brolin is a bounty hunter, John Malkovich is his terrorist target and Megan Fox plays against type as a hot chick. 96 min.

THE KARATE KID - PG - Action, Drama - Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith take over for Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio in yet another ‘80s remake/reboot that’s not as sacrilegious as fans of the fun but overrated original would have you believe. 140 min.

KILLERS - PG13 - Action, Comedy - Ashton Kutcher is a secret agent with a license to kill. Like James Bond, with a Twitter account. 100 min.

KNIGHT AND DAY - PG13 - Action - Tom Cruise, his manic desperation ripping through the coolguy facade, fights desperately to keep being a movie star. That’s not the plot of the movie, but it’s more interesting. 124 min.

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME - PG13 - Fantasy, Action - Films based on video games don’t exactly have a sterling track record, but this should at least please FX-obsessed teens and anyone interested in ogling a bronzed, beefed-up Jake Gyllenhaal. 116 min.

PRINCESS KA’UILANI - PG - Drama - Taking complex historical events and turning them into love stories is always a dicey proposition, but this Hawaii-set tale has generated a lot of buzz, both positive and negative. 130 min.

SEX AND THE CITY 2 - R - Comedy, Romance - Four narcissistic, horny, shopping-obsessed Manhattanites head for the North African desert— what could go wrong? 146 min.

SPLICE - R - Horror - Two scientists create a genetic abomination and grow to love it. Similar story has played out in trailer parks across the country. 104 min.

TOY STORY 3 (3D) - G - Family, Animated - The latest from the wizards at Pixar has Buzz, Woody and the gang trying to survive life at a daycare center, which is like Hostel for toys. 124 min.

TWILIGHT: NEW MOON - PG13 - Fantasy Quivering vampire angst meets hunky werewolf angst. That sound? A thousand preteen girls squealing. That other sound? A cash register clinking. 130 min.

S H O W T I M E S FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue) JONAH HEX-PG13-THU (3:00, 5:00) 7:15, 9:30 KNIGHT AND DAY-PG13-THU (2:00) 4:30, 7:00, 9:30. FRI (2:00, 4:30) 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (2:00) 4:30, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30) 7:00, 9:30.

THE A-TEAM-PG13-THU (1:00) 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. FRI (1:00, 4:00) 7:00, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:00) 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00) 7:00, 9:45.

THE KARATE KID-PG-THU (12:45) 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. FRI (12:45, 3:45) 6:45, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:45) 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. MON-WED (12:45, 3:45) 6:45, 9:45.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE-PG13-THU (1:20) 4:15, 7:15, 10:10. FRI (1:20, 4:15) 7:15, 10:10.

SAT-SUN (1:20) 4:15, 7:15, 10:10. MON-WED (1:20, 4:15) 7:15, 10:10.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) GROWN UPS-PG13-THU 11:00, 12:25, 1:25, 2:40, 3:40, 3:55, 4:55, 7:10, 8:10, 9:25. FRI-SUN 11:00, 12:25, 1:25, 2:40, 3:40, 3:55, 4:55, 7:10, 8:10, 9:25, 10:25. MON-WED 11:00, 12:25, 1:25, 2:40, 3:40, 3:55, 4:55, 7:10, 8:10, 9:25.

JONAH HEX-PG13-THU 11:00, 1:00, 3:00, 8:15 KNIGHT AND DAY-PG13-THU 11:00, 1:55, 4:25, 7:00, 8:00, 9:35. FRI-SUN 11:45, 12:45, 2:10, 3:10, 4:35, 5:35, 7:00, 8:00, 9:25, 10:25. MON-WED 11:45, 12:45, 2:10, 3:10, 4:35, 5:35, 7:00, 8:00, 9:25.

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME-PG13-THU 12:05, 2:40, 5:15. FRI-WED 11:40, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

SEX IN THE CITY 2-R-THU 5:05 SHREK FOREVER AFTER 3D-PG-THU 10:45, 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35. FRI-WED 10:45, 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) GROWN UPS-PG13-THU 12:30, 2:45, 5:00, 7:30, 9:45. FRI-WED 12:30, 2:45, 5:00, 7:30, 9:45.

THE LAST AIRBENDER-PG-THU 12:25, 2:45, 5:05, 7:25, 9:45. FRI-WED 12:25, 2:45, 5:05, 7:25, 9:45.

TOY STORY 3-G-THU 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:20, 9:40. FRI-WED 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:20, 9:40.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE-PG13-THU 11:15, 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15. FRI-MON 11:15, 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15. TUE 1:00, 3:45, 6:30, 9:15. WED 11:15, 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) GET HIM TO THE GREEK-R-THU (1:50, 4:25) 7:00, 9:35. FRI (1:50, 4:25) 7:00, 9:35. SAT-MON (1:50) 4:25, 7:00, 9:35. TUE-WED (1:50, 4:25) 7:00, 9:35.

THE A-TEAM-PG13-THU (1:15, 4:00) 6:45, 9:30. FRI (1:15, 4:00) 6:45, 9:30. SAT-MON (1:15) 4:00, 6:45, 9:30. TUE-WED (1:15, 4:00) 6:45, 9:30.

THE KARATE KID-PG-THU (1:30, 4:35) 7:40. FRI (1:30, 4:35) 7:40. SAT-MON (1:30) 4:35, 7:40.

TUE-WED (1:30, 4:35) 7:40.

THE LAST AIRBENDER-PG-THU (11:15, 1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. FRI (11:15, 1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15.

SAT-MON (11:15, 1:45) 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. TUE-WED (11:15, 1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15.

THE LAST AIRBENDER (3D)-PG-THU (11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15) 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15. FRI (11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15) 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15. SAT-MON (11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45) 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15. TUE-WED (11:45, 12:15, 2:15, 2:45, 4:45, 5:15) 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:15.

TOY STORY 3 (3D)-G-THU (11:00, 1:10, 1:40, 3:45, 4:15) 6:30, 7:00, 9:10, 9:40. FRI (11:00, 1:10, 1:40, 3:45, 4:15) 6:30, 7:00, 9:10, 9:40. SAT-MON (11:00, 1:10, 1:40) 3:45, 4:15, 6:30, 7:00, 9:10, 9:40. TUE-WED (11:00, 1:10, 1:40, 3:45, 4:15) 6:30, 7:00, 9:10, 9:40.

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE-PG13-THU (11:00, 11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 1:50, 2:20, 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15) 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10. FRI (10:30, 11:00, 11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 1:50, 2:20, 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15) 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40. SAT-SUN (10:30, 11:00, 11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 1:50, 2:20) 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40. MON (11:00, 11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 1:50, 2:20) 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10. TUE-WED (11:00, 11:30, 12:30, 1:20, 1:50, 2:20, 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15) 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 9:40, 10:10.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) GROWN UPS-PG13-THU (1:45) 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:45) 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15.

KILLERS-PG13-THU (1:45, 4:15) 6:45, 9:15 THE LAST AIRBENDER (3D)-PG-THU (1:15) 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. FRI (1:15, 4:15) 7:00, 9:45. SATSUN (1:15) 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:15, 4:15) 7:00, 9:45.

TOY STORY 3-G-THU (1:30) 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. FRI (1:30, 4:00) 6:30, 9:00. SAT-SUN (1:30) 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. MON-WED (1:30, 4:00) 6:30, 9:00.

Compiled by Philippa Tilley

July 1, 2010 19

Picks

This Week's Picks First Friday, Second Birthdays

OMG, LMFAO @MACC!

Friday (July 2), 5:30-8pm (street closed at 6pm), Market St., Wailuku, free

Friday (July 2), 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, $32 advance/$35 door

There’s a panging sensation at the back of my eyeballs whenever I must suppress my misty pride for Wailuku’s Market Street. Sure it’s home to MauiTime, but it’s the composite of our cooler-than-cool neighbors that make this place so gosh-darned special. Daytime strolls may best capture the street’s sunny charm, but for one night a month—when the sun dips low and traffic is stopped—Market Street proves why it’s the best host for full-effect First Friday fare. July’s festivities celebrate a special second birthday for purveyors of HI-style hip, Maui Thing. Their summer line will make its grand debut down the catwalk, while Kathy Collins hosts and Willie K performs (6:30-8pm). If you missed last year’s baby luau bash, you missed out. That fashion show may well have been the best ever on the island— and this year, they’re bound to outdo themselves (as seems to be Maui Thing’s way). Mana’o Radio will do a live broadcast from the show, and 15 percent of sales will benefit the local station. Meanwhile, recently reincarnated Wailuku Coffee Company (formerly Café Marc Aurel) celebrates its rebirth with grand (re-)opening festivities (thank goodness). There, Sheryl Renee & The Hand Jive Trio will perform (8pm) as a benefit for the Arts Education for Children Group. Too, check out Gene and Shea Argel at Café O’Lei, the Pam Petersen Band at Banyan Tree Park, a cash-prize poetry slam at Gallerie Ha and ‘awa bar at Native Intelligence. Event info: 878-1888; booth info: 249-9710, e-mail 1stfridaywailuku@gmail.com

Maui stole something. The hottest electro-hip-hop band of the moment skipped out on the Black Eyed Peas' “The E.N.D. World Tour 2010” for a weekend of raging with us Hawaiians. In pure LMFAO style, they're dropping in at the last minute, with no warning save for hot posters tearing around the island like wildfire, screeching “I'm in Maui, Bitch!” Peas' next stop, Miami, is just going to have to go cry in a corner, because the concert might be so much fun that the dynamic duo of Redfoo and Skyblu will set up camp and never leave.

Even if you aren't a frat boy, you can rock out to “Shots” (the dirty version, obviously). They also make “Party Rock” remixes, which take popular songs to a whole other level (think music pumped intravenously at light-speed, with a few hits of Ecstasy thrown in for fun). The band has a rep for pulling enthusiastic fans up on stage with them, so deck yourself out in your finest pimp attire. Gotta make Mama proud, right? It's indoors, so you can pick a good seat when you buy the ticket, but there's also a dance floor. It really doesn't matter much, so long as you know how to duck, dive and fling yourself through the crowd. See you there? “Yes, it's on and poppin'...” 242-7469, mauiarts.org [Sierra Brown]

20 July 1, 2010

by Anu Yagi calendar@mauitime.com

Mahalo to awesome intern Sierra Brown for all her great work, and best wishes on her next step.

Independence Day, Maui Style The Fourth of July is about celebrating that we live in a country where we are free to do as we please.

Say what you will, but compared to the rest of the world, we've really got the freedom thing going on.

Let's appreciate it, exploit it and love it to the fullest. (And fight for more freedoms, too! But maybe not today...I'm kind of busy.) For starters, head over to Makawao Town for the big parade on Saturday morning (July 3, 9am-noon), and spend the day appreciating (and maybe mocking, or appreciatively mocking) parade performers and patrons alike. Hard not to love horses and riders bedecked in all their paniolo finery, a classic car show, kiddos marching in formation with banners, Shriner men zooming about on tiny electric scooters and, of course, schmoozing politicians. Too, the Haiku Hillbillys will be on hand to lend mood-appropriate tunes. And, right up the road at Oskie Rice Arena, the most liberated (read: drunk or fatalistic) ones will mount bucking broncos and rope calves with gusto. The younger ones are fearless, too. Keiki atop horses five times their size will tackle obstacle courses, doing leaps, jumps and the whole she-bang. If you're having such a good time with Makawao's paniolo party people that you can't bear to leave, stick around Saturday evening for “Spurlesque” at Casanova (9pm, $10 cover). It's more than Kit Kat Club Cabaret's cleverly named hoedown shindig. With the gents on one side and the ladies on the other, this old-fashioned country night takes on a modern, sexy twist with the belly-dancing beauties, Karli, Kristyn and Brooke, alongside Swing Maui and Jason Wulf, who can teach you and your date how to swing. Oh, and some guy named Trevor Arnholt is going to dress up as Yankee Doodle Dandy! Why? Because he can. If your stay ends up extended to the next night, too (the rodeo continues, after all), right across the street, Stopwatch is hosting a Makawao Sunday Jam (5-9pm, free). Stop by and say hello to all the cowboys enjoying a pint... Back to the Fourth, it's sure to be a sultry night in Lahaina Town. Stars light the curves of lonesome waves when suddenly, reds, blues and gold explode overhead! Illuminated now are the smooth, white nuances of the crystal ocean, as his finger brushes hers... paperback romance novel enough for you? Thought so. In honor of the holiday and exciting fireworks show, Front Street closes to traffic at 4pm on Sunday, so all the happy little spectators can flood in. The fireworks themselves will start at 8pm; it's fun to watch the show from the boat pier, the beach right below Front Street or from the park next to the library. This year, you can also buy tickets (AECG benefit, price TBA, call 357-0920) to the Old Oyster Bar and Rooftop at 744 Front Street, where the only rooftop party in Lahaina will provide a prime spot to view the fireworks, drink cocktails and enjoy BBQ and pupus from Lulu's Lahaina. Plus, live music and dancing featuring Jamallad, the Haiku Hillbililys, Sheryl Renee and DJ sets by Nadi and Nate Castro. They also plan on throwing some patriotism into the mix, with a “surprise” reading of the Declaration of Independence, watermelon eating and seed spitting contests, as well as a Best Pie in Lahaina Town Bake-off. My advice? Do all of it. Actually, just do whatever you feel like doing. Freedom, right? I mean, we can buy multi-colored explosives right next to the fruit aisle at Foodland. If that isn't freedom, I don't know what is.

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” E WEDNESDAY “BEST WILD WAHINUS SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” LADIESNIGHT

CASANOVA’S FAMO

IC STARTS AT 10PM X $10 COVER Q103 & THE BIG HAWAIIAN present DJ STYLES X MUS

ST THURSDAY, JULY.1

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM X $10 COVER

FLAMENCO NIGHTS WITH INDIO & LOS ELMENTOS FRIDAY, JULY.2ND

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM X $7 COVER

SEISMIC CHOPS LIVE ROCK, COUNTRY & BLUES

JULY.3 SATURDAY, WITH NG

RD

COUNTRY DANCI

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM X $10 COVER

SHERON DEPONTE & THE SILVER SPURS

SUNDAY, JULY.4TH

SPURLESQUE YS TUESDA $10 COVER AT 9PM X

SHOW STARTS AT 9PM X $10 COVER A KIT KAT CLUB CABARET & HOEDOWN

WILLIE K

& HIS BAND

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING IN MAKAWAO TOWN. DINE AND DANCE AT CASANOVA. FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS

CALL 572-0220 X CASANOVAMAUI.COM July 1, 2010 21

THURSDAY 1

Calendar

WAVETRAIN DIRTY,MODERN,ELECTRO FUNK MAUI’S BEST LIVE BAND

10pm-CLOSE / $5

FRIDAY 2

JAMMIN DJ BONANZA

10pm-CLOSE / $5

SATURDAY 3

SOUL CONCEPTS 10pm-CLOSE / $5

TUESDAY 6

DANYELL ALANA & FRIENDS

10pm-CLOSE

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 2-6pm $3 Well Drinks - $3 Drafts $3 Becks ALL DAY, EVERYDAY

calendar@mauitime.com

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS LMFAO - Fri, Jul 2. The electro hip-hop concert of the year. The Grammy-nominated duo from LA consists of DJ/rappers Redfoo (Stefan Gordy) and Sky Blu (Skyler Gordy). DJ Lucky Lou opens. Complete with a dance floor and adult language and themes. $32 in advance, $35 day of show. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Wy., Kahului; 808242-7469; www.mauiarts.org FAT FREDDY’S DROP - Sat, Jul 3. Fat Freddy’s Drop is landing in Maui from the first time all the way from New Zealand, where their album, “Based on a True Story,” enjoyed the #1 spot on the NZ album charts in 2005. Throw together their threepiece horn section, tenor and alto sax, trumpet and trombone to create an unstoppable band. $25 advance. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Wy., Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org

STAGE CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Circue du Soleil meets Polynesian hula with amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics and illusions, and mind-boggling contortionist and balancing-acts. Call for their Kama’aina special. Starting at $62; deals for kids. 6 p.m. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 808-667-4540; http://maui.hyatt.com

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT 142 HANA HWY. PAIA Reservations & Info

808-579-8085

FOODIE BATTLE OF THE SEXES - Fri, Jul 2. The best of man vs. woman winemakers... you decide who rules the house. Pupus served, no reservations required. $30.

7-9 p.m. Pacific’o, 505 Front St., Lahaina; 808-6674341; www.pacificomaui.com WINE DINNER FRIDAY - Fri, Jul 2. Lahaina Coolers Restaurant & bar will be hosting Wine Dinner Friday.

Food will be served in three courses with fantastic wine pairings. There is limited space, RSVP by calling. $40.

7-9:30 p.m. Lahaina Coolers, 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina; 808-661-7082; www.lahainacoolers.com SCIENCE AND NATURE LECTURE SERIES PART 1 - Tue, Jul 6. A bi-monthly series of lectures in partnership with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Topics will range from humpback whales to ongoing conservation and preservation work in and around Maui. No Cover. 6 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului; 808872-3310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui KAMA’AINA MONDAYS - Mon, Jul 5. In celebrating our one year anniversary, David Paul’s is offering 50% off all entrees. Hawaii I.D. Required. Every Monday. 50% off all Entrees. David Paul’s Island Grill, 900 Front St. Suite A101, Lahaina; 808-6623000; http://www.davidpaulsislandgrill.com WHOLE FOODS MARKET VALUE TOURS - Fri, Jul 2.

An educational tour, focusing on how to shop on a budget. Reservations can be made at the store’s customer service desk or by emailing spmmm-marketing@ wholefoods.com. No Cover. 11 a.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului; 808-872-3310; www. wholefoodsmarket.com/maui TACO TUESDAYS - Tue, Jul 6. Spice up the week.

Variety of $4 tacos. 3-5 p.m. Leilani’s On The Beach, Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali; (808) 661-4495; www.leilanis.com CULINARY EDUCATION ON WELLNESS WEDNESDAYS - Wed, Jul 7. Shoppers can take advantage of demonstrations on how to cook up fresh and nutritious recipes with Whole Foods Market’s Healthy Eating Specialist. No Cover. 12 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului; 808-872-3310; www.wholefoodsmarket.com/maui FOOD STYLING & DIGITAL PHOTGRAPHY WORKSHOP - Sat, Jul 10. Are you inspired to learn how to shoot

22 July 1, 2010

amazing food photography? Do you want to create images that are rich in color and texture? Join professional food stylist Tamara L. Kaufman and professional photographer Alan De Herrera when they share their passion, technical expertise and experience styling and photographing different types of foods and drinks. This is a great opportunity which will allow you to advance your career. Topics to be discussed include: Lighting set-ups for studio and location shooting, camera and lighting equipment and post-production skills. Food Stylist will show participants unstyled and styled foods as well as tools, tricks, and techniques used in food styling. $250 (includes lunch), $200 (includes lunch) for MCA Students. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Culinary Academy, 310 Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului; To attend: 917-301-4490; http://www.StudyAbroadOpportunities.ning.com

Faces of Hawaii, Volume 3. Entries are due on or before July 25, 2010. www.hiartmagazine.com.

TICKETS ON SALE

MAUI COMMUNITY BAND - Performance. No Cover. 7 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http:// www.queenkaahumanucenter.com

DISNEY’S ALADDIN, JR. - Daily. Performed by MAPA’s Sum’R Musical Theatre Camp students.

Performances are July 1 & 2 at 7pm, July 3, 10, 11 at 2pm and July 3 at 5pm. $8-12. 7-8:30 p.m. Steppingstone Playhouse, 275 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-244-8760; http://www.mauiacademy.org SOUTH PACIFIC - Every Sun, Thu, Fri & Sat. Enjoy an enchanted evening under the stars at Maui Academy of Performing Arts’ production of the Rodgers & Hammerstein classic at Maui Tropical Plantation. Bring blankets or low chairs for lawn seating. $18-$35. 7:30-10 p.m. Maui Tropical Plantation, 1670 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu; 808-244-8760; http://www.mauiacademy.org SOLO SESSIONS WITH JAKE SHIMABUKURO - Thu, Jul 15. Get a session with Jake Shimabukuro, Hawaii’s ‘ukulele ambassador, unplugged in the intimate McCoy Studio. Jake will take the stage with stories, songs and lightening-fast strumming in his signature ‘ukulele style. Peace, Love, and ‘Ukulele. $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org THE COMEDY HUI - Fri, Jul 16. Round two in a monthly series, this island improv comedy show features fast-paced games, wacky characters and even a few musicals. $22, $11 kids ages 12 & under.

7 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org 5TH ANNUAL REGGAE IN THE VALLEY - Sat, Jul 24.

Featuring Sly Dog, Rushouze, Dani Girl, Maoli, Natural Vibes, Ten Feet, Kolohe Kai and FIJI, this concert will be a night jam-packed with old school and new school local music across the spectrum. $20 advance, $30 day of show. 4:30 p.m. Events Lawn, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; www.mauiarts.org THE MAUI CELEBRITY SERIES PRESENTS TOM GREEN - LIVE ON MAUI - Fri, Aug 6. Comedian Tom Green performs for the first time on Maui on Friday, August 6th, 2010. Special guest, crooner Brian Evans. Live at The Maui Theatre. For tickets call the venue at 808-856-7973 or visit the box office. $39.50, $59.50, $79.50. 9:30-11 p.m. The Maui Theatre (Home to Ulalena), 878 Front St., Lahaina; 808-856-7973; www.themauicelebrityseries.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS UPCOUNTRY FARMERS MARKET - Sat, Jul 3. The upcountry farmers market has moved from Eddie Tam to the parking lot beside the football field in Kulamalu near Long’s Drugs. Featuring the same farmers providing fresh, local and Maui-grown produce and products every Saturday. Enjoy Maui’s bountiful summer fruits and veggies. No Cover. 7 a.m.-12 p.m.

Football Field at Kulamalu, 808-283-3257 FACES OF HAWAII PHOTO PORTRAIT COMPETITION - Daily. In 2010, HI Art Magazine & idspace will once again be holding a photography competition portraying Hawaii’s faces. Winners will be compiled into a book,

WANTED: ARTISTS: MAUI CRAFTS GUILD - Daily. The gallery features ceramics, basket-weaving, textiles, jewelry, glass, woodwork and other crafts. However, ceramics or jewelry are not being accepted at this time. Visit the gallery to fill out an application and submit artwork. Maui Crafts Guild, 69 Hana Highway, Paia; 808-579-9697; http://www.mauicraftsguild.com

EVENTS THURSDAY, JUL 01 MAUI KILA KILA - Performance. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-8711307; http://www.mauimall.com

WOODWIND SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERT - 2010 Maui Invitational Music Festival presents the Maui Community Band Woodwind Symphony Orchestra in concert. Free. 7-9 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului; 808-283-3576; www.aecg.org THURSDAY NIGHT YOUTH GROUP - Get together at Hope Chapel North Shore in the Haiku Cannery for a time of food, fun and fellowship. If you are between 9-18 then this is the place to come and make quality friends.

Free. Hope Chapel North Shore, 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku; 808-575-2650; http://www.hopechapelnorthshore.org 55TH ANNUAL MAKAWAO RODEO - Presented by the Maui Roping Club. Oskie Rice Field & Arena, Olinda Rd., Makawao; 808-283-2741

FRIDAY, JUL 02 FIRST FRIDAY IN OLD WAILUKU TOWN - Maui Thing Fashion Show w/ Willie K and his band. Native Intelligence, ‘Awa Bar, ‘Ono Fried Fish Plate, and cold beverages. Gene and Shea Arge live music in front of Cafe O lei, Pam Peteresen Band live music at Wailuku Banyan Tree Park. Wailuku Coffee Co. Grand Opening. No Cover. 5:30-8 p.m. Maui Thing, 7 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-249-0215 KARAOKE - by Elaina. Free. 6 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; http:// www.mauimall.com DOORWAY INTO LIGHT - Features DJ’s Ged and Sat Deva, a silent auction, raffle, as well as food and drink to support those in our community who are nearing the end of their lives and are in need of financial help. No Cover. 7-10 p.m. Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace, 810 Haiku Rd., Suite 265, Haiku; 808-573-8334; www.thestudiomaui.com WO HING MUSEUM AFTER DARK - Let the lights from the Wo Hing Museum draw you in for its special Friday hours of 1 to 8pm. With its usual day time hours 10am to 4pm, visitors have the unique opportunity to visit the museum and temple at night. $2 General Admission, Kids 12 and under free. 1-8 p.m. Wo Hing Temple Museum, 858 Front St., Lahaina; 808-661-3262; http://www.lahainarestoration.org ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Join Pacific Whale Foundation for very special whalewatch cruise, featuring cocktails, appetizers, and music, hosted by local reggae star Marty Dread. $49.95. 5-7 p.m. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Discovery Center, 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 211, Wailuku; 808249-8811 ext. 1; www.pacificwhale.org/ecocruises 55TH ANNUAL MAKAWAO RODEO - Presented by the Maui Roping Club. Oskie Rice Field & Arena, Olinda Rd., Makawao; 808-283-2741

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7/01

7/02

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

7/03

7/04

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY

7/05 - 7/07

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

The Crunch Pups 7 pm ; No Cover

Flashback Fridays $10; 9pm

UFC 116 4 pm $10; Roots Judgement 8pm No Cover

4th of July Party w/ Boat Night DJs w/Jamn J; 10 pm

MON - Tom Conway TUES - Ladies Night w/ Bad Kitty and Free Pool WED - Curtis Williams

AMBROSIA

Old School Night with Dj Del Sol; 10pm

Where’s the Funk? - Fridays with DJ Forrest 10pm

Sunrise Saturdays w/ DJ Decka; 10pm

4th of July Party w/ DJ CIA 10pm

MON - Erin RobinsonTUE - Drum & Bass, DJ AstroRaph; WED - SIN DJ Sol DJ CIA - Hospitality Ind. Night

Kit Kat Club Cabaret and Hoedown Presents: Spurlesque 9 pm $10

TUE - Willie K 9pm; $10 WED - Ladies Night $10

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

Live Music and Dancing after 9pm

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE 4465 Honoapiilani Hwy, Lahaina - 669-8889

CASANOVA

Flamenco Nights w/ Indo and Los Elementos 9:30 pm No Cover

Siesmic Chops 10 pm $7

Sheron Deponte and The Silver Spurs 9:45 pm $10

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain 10 pm ; $5

Jammin DJ Bonnza 10 pm ; $5

Soul Concepts 10 pm ; $5

Ryan Palma

Dave Carroll

Dave Carroll

Ryan Palma

MON - Peter DeAguino TUE - Live Jazz WED - Whaleshark

DJ 10 pm

Kryptones 10pm

DJ - 10pm

Gina Martinelli Band - 6pm

MON - Gomega ;TUE- Open Mic; WED - DJ

Quiz Night 8pm

Jarod 10 pm

DJ Crest 10pm

Billy & Bad Dogs

MON - Jordan; TUE - Erin Smith WED - Jessica & Friends

EHA’S POOL BAR

Bad Kitty

Sweet Spot

Pool Tournament

MON - Open Mic Night; WED - Stealth Hippopotamus

GIAN DON’S

1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

Jeff New 5-8 pm

Joe Conti and Sarayah Garrison 7-9 pm

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR

Karaoke

DJ Music 9pm-2am

Karaoke

TUE - Pool Tournament WED - Ladies Night / DJ Dance Party

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908, no cover, all sets 7:30-10pm

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

1234 Lower Main, Wailuku - 242-1177

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HANG LOOSE LOUNGE 333 Dairy Rd., Kahalui - 877-6284

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

SATURDAY, JUL 03 45TH ANNUAL PANIOLO PARADE - Theme: “Heroes & Outlaws.” Stick Horse Race at 8:45 am. No parking in town. Roads will be closed. Park at the Rodeo Grounds and take the free shuttle. Free. 8:30 a.m. Makawao Town, Makawao Ave., Makawao; 808572-9565/ Security, Volunteers: 808-573-0422 HE’UI BANYAN TREE ART AND CRAFT FESTIVAL - Over 50 of Maui’s selected artists show and sell their work under the reaching shade of Lahaina’s famous Banyan Tree. Live music to be enjoyed by all while shopping. You’ll find jewelry, art, handsewn items, candles, and a peek at Lahaina’s Visitor Center nestled into the Historic Old Lahaina Courthouse. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, 649 Wharf St., Lahaina; 888-310-1117, 808-661-9175; www.visitlahaina.com WAIALAE BAPTIST PRE-SCHOOL PERFORMANCE - Kids Center Stage. No Cover. 11 a.m.

Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http://www. queenkaahumanucenter.com DANCE INTERNATIONAL - Performance. Free.

1 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; http://www.mauimall.com 55TH ANNUAL MAKAWAO RODEO - Presented by the Maui Roping Club. Oskie Rice Field & Arena, Olinda Rd., Makawao; 808-283-2741 HALIIMAILE COMMUNITY GARDEN MEMBER ORIENTATION - A place not just to garden and grow food, but also to meet other gardeners, volunteer, and contribute to sustainability projects. Orientations for new members are usually held the first Saturday of each month, or as frequently as possible. Free. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Haliimaile Community Garden, www.haliimailegarden.com

SUNDAY, JUL 04 HE’UI BANYAN TREE ART FESTIVAL SECOND DAY - Day two for the shady banyan tree art festival. See Saturday’s listing for details. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, 649 Wharf St., Lahaina; 888310-1117, 808-661-9175; www.visitlahaina.com 4TH OF JULY CELEBRATION - BBQ - Fireworks - Live Music featuring Denver’s own Sheryl Renee and The Haiku Hillbillies. DJ sets by Nadi “DJ’s without borders” and Nate Castro. Pie Bake-off and old fashioned

TUE - Danyell Alana 10 pm

Travis 8 pm

Kanaka Jams 7pm

Crunch Pups and Open Mic; 9pm

Juke Box 6 pm

MON - Juke Box TUES - Crunch Pups WED Kenny Roberts

Rampage - 9 pm

Arise 9 pm

Dezman 9 pm - 1:30 am

Karaoke 8 pm - 1:30 am

MON - Karaoke; TUES - DJ Nexus WED - Open Mic

WEDNESDAY, JUL 07

watermelon eating and spitting contest. Beer specials starting at $2. Food by Lulu’s Lahaina. 2 p.m.-2 a.m.

Old Oyster Bar and Rooftop, 744 Front St., Lahaina;

CREATIVE GENERATION - Musical Theatre. No Cover. 5 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http://www.queenkaahumanucenter.com

4TH OF JULY FIREWORKS IN LAHAINA - Stroll historic Lahaina and enjoy holiday specials in many oceanview restaurants and town shops. For an old-fashioned Independence Day celebration, listen to a variety of bands play in a free concert on the oceanfront Lahaina Library lawn starting at 5 pm. A fireworks display lighting the night sky over Lahaina’s roadstead is scheduled for 8 pm, presented by Maui Chamber of Commerce. Fireworks can be viewed from charter boats in Lahaina Harbor and on land throughout LahainaTown. 5 p.m.

Lahaina Library, 680 Wharf St., Lahaina; 808-662-3950, 808-669-9175; www.visitlahaina.com

BEACH MINISTRY - Community Church. No Cover.

7 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; http:// www.queenkaahumanucenter.com SWING LATIN AND BALLROOM DANCE CLASSES - July 7th is the registration date for this 3-month long dance class which takes place every Wednesday. Learn Beginner East Coast Swing and Intermediate Fox Trot with Maui’s only trained ballroom dance professional Rita O’Conner. Couples and Singles. ritaoc@hawaii.rr.com,. $50 for 3 months. 6:30-9 p.m. Kihei Community Center, 303 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 808-8794364; http://www.alohaballroom.com

MAKAWAO TOWN JAMBOREE - Sponsored

by Makawao Town Merchants Association. Mike Carroll’s Community Service house band, other musicians will play outdoors “under the stars”. Free. 5-8 p.m. across from Rodeo General Store, 808-357-4943; rc@ mauifuturearts.org

SOME HERE

ART

RESUME OF WINTER - Mon, Jul 5. Franck Berthouts’ collection features Maui’s big waves, surf action and radical windsurfing action. There is a brilliant photo of a 14 year old Maui boy surfing Jaws and a long boarder at Honolua Bay. Green Banana Cafe is excited to pay tribute to the North Shore surfing community with this collection.

No Cover. 7 p.m. Green Banana Cafe, 137 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-579-9130

ALL ONLINE

55TH ANNUAL MAKAWAO RODEO - Presented by the Maui Roping Club. Oskie Rice Field & Arena, Olinda Rd., Makawao; 808-283-2741

Calendar Listings on mauitime.com

MONDAY, JUL 05 HE’UI BANYAN TREE ART FESTIVAL - Special Bonus day for arts and crafts under the banyan tree. Stroll under the cool branches and find unique treasures. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, 649 Wharf St., Lahaina; 888-310-1117 OPENING RECEPTION: RESUME OF WINTER - Franck Berthouts’ collection features Maui’s big waves, surf action and radical windsurfing action. There is a brilliant photo of a 14 year old Maui boy surfing Jaws and a long boarder at Honolua Bay. Green Banana Cafe is excited to pay tribute to the North Shore surfing community with this collection. No Cover. 7 p.m. Green Banana Cafe, 137 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-579-9130 HULA SHOW - 10 a.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-8773369; http://www.queenkaahumanucenter.com

■

JOYCE CHIN PHOTOGRAPHY - Daily. There’s a new face in the Maui art scene: Joyce Chin. View her debut showcase of enthusiastic photo works throughout the month, at the newly revamped Wailuku Coffee Comapny (formerly Café Marc Aurel). (Opening reception 6/19). No Cover. Wailuku Coffee Co., 28 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-214-0692; http://www.joycechinphotography.com

pieces will be displayed through July (and online). 11 a.m. South Shore Tiki Lounge, Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-874-6444; http://www. mauitime.com/Articles-i-2010-06-03-73523.113117_ The_Great_Napkin_Doodle.html THOUSANDWINTER CONSTELLATIONS - Daily.

Hosted by painter AJW and the gallery at Paia Tattoo Parlor. “To be read by the Host of the Landlocked Intranquil Spirit Most High”. No Cover. 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Paia Tattoo Parlor, 120 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-579-8515 MEET THE ARTISTS - Daily. The Four Seasons’ resident artist will be on hand to discuss his or her work. Free. 8:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Four Seasons Resort, 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 808-874-8000; www. fourseasons.com/maui/ WOW - Wed, Jul 7. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea; 808-897-6770 x2; http://www.shopsatwailea.com

FARMERS MARKET, ART/CRAFT FAIRS KAHULUI SHOPPING CENTER “GREEN DRAGON: FARMER’S MARKET - Every Sun, Tue, Wed & Sat. “Green Dragon” Farmer’s market features arts, crafts, food booths and fresh Maui produce. Free. 7 a.m.-4 p.m. Kahului Shopping Center, 65 W. Kaahumanu Ave, Kahului; ; gdmaui@hotmail.com K-MART CRAFT FAIR - Daily (except Sat). Held inside. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. K-Mart, 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 808-344-4220 K-MART FARMERS MARKET - Every Sun, Mon & Thu. Held in the parking lot. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. K-Mart, 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 808-344-4220 MAUI’S BIGGEST YARD SALE - Sat, Jul 3. Farmers Market, crafts, food, artist, t-shirts, massages, and more. Maui’s biggest yard sale every Saturday.

Non profits can get free space to fundraise too. $35 a day. 7 a.m.-4 p.m. Old Kahului Shopping Center, 65 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-333-2478

VESTIGES - Daily. A joint exhibition showcasing etchings and woodcuts by NIchol Markowitz and fiber art sculptuers and installations by Casey Neumann. No Cover. Paia Tattoo Parlor, 120 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-8515

FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, HONOKOWAI - Daily (except Thu). Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7 a.m.-7 p.m. Farmers Market Maui & Deli, 3636 Lower Honoapiilaina Rd., Lahaina; 808-669-7004

THE GREAT NAPKIN DOODLE - Daily. Support Maui non-profit Keiki Cupboard by purchasing napkin-art masterworks created by over 25 Maui artists. Selected

FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, KIHEI - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Thu. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Farmers Market of Maui, 61 South Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-875-0949

July 1, 2010 23

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THURSDAY 7/1 ~ 7-9PM

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THURSDAY 7/1 ~ 9pm - mid

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FRIDAY 7/2 ~ 6:30 - 9pm

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WILLIE K BENEFIT CONCERT SIMPLY SOLID FROM HANA 6-8pm MARTY DREAD 8-9:30pm

UNCLE WLLIE K BAND 10pm-mid

8PM FREE!

SUNDAY 7/4 ~ 6:30-9:30pm

THe Celtic TiGERS ROOTS JUDGEMENT

FOURTH OF JULY PARTY!

NIGHT #0"5 JAMN J 10PM - CLOSE FREE! WITH DJ

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HAWAIIAN NIGHTS

TUE 7/6

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WEDNESDAY 7/7 ~10pm-Close

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RICK GLENCROSS

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12pm - 2pm MAUI ONLINE 2pm - 5pm LEO LAPORTE, THE TECH GUY

24 July 1, 2010

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WED

ZUMBA // 6 - 7am KICKBOXING // 8 - 9am YOGA // 9 - 10:15am ZUMBA // 10:15 - 11:15am TURBOKICK // 6 - 7pm YOGA // 7 - 8pm

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FRI

SAT

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MON

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JULY 2

KICKBOXING // 8 - 9:30am ACRO YOGA // 9:30 - 11am ZUMBA // 11 - 12 PRE-NATAL YOGA // 3 - 4:30pm ZUMBA // 5:30 - 6:30pm

YOGA // 9 - 10:15am KIDS CAPOEIRA // 12 - 1pm VOICE LESSONS // 2 - 4pm ZUMBA // 5 - 6pm >GJ 9 ;GEHD=L= K;@=<MD= NAKAL RIOMAUI.COM

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TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY

7/01

7/02

7/03

7/04

7/05 - 7/07

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM Sonido Inspiracion Latino 9:30pm

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonso No Cover, 7 pm - Close

Guest Performer No Cover, 7 pm - Close

Farzad & Mike Madden No Cover, 7 pm - Close

Brian Cuomo No Cover, 7 pm - Close

MON - Guest Performer, No Cover, 7 pm - Close TUE - WED - Rene Alonzo, No Cover, 7 pm - Close

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

KIMOS

Hula Honeys 6 - 8:30 pm

Barefoot Minded 8-10 pm

Fausto & Kawika No Cover, 8pm

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina - 667-6655

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Live Salsa Band DJ Latin Top 40; 8 pm-2 am

Hip Hop Jam 11 pm

DJ Top 40 10 pm

Daphne’s Duo 8:30-11:30 pm

MAUI BREWING CO.

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

MOANA CAFE

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Kimo 7:30- 9:30 pm

Sabrina 7:30-9:30 pm

2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8644

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St. Kihei - 6874-1131

OHANA FARMERS & CRAFTERS MARKET - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. Vendors bring a plethora of juicy fresh fruit and vegetables to Ka’ahumanu’s Center Court. Free. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808877-3369; http://www.queenkaahumanucenter.com HO`OLOKAHI ARTS & CRAFTS FAIR - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes. 9-11 a.m.

Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa, 808-879-1922 MAUI’S SWAP MEET - Sat, Jul 3. From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, this place pretty much has it all. Killer produce market, too.

Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Maui Community College, 310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-2443100; http://www.mauiexposition.com UPCOUNTRY FARMERS MARKET - Sat, Jul 3.

The upcountry farmers market at the football field in Kulamalu near Long’s Drugs. Featuring farmers providing fresh, local and Maui-grown produce and products every Saturday. Enjoy Maui’s bountiful summer fruits and veggies. No Cover. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Football Field at Kulamalu, 808-283-3257

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6 p.m.; Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0937.

DUKES BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon, Tue & Wed, Damien & Edee 6-8:30 p.m.; Thu, Ernie and Miles 3-5 p.m.; Thu, Garrett Probst 6-8:30 p.m.; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Jack Oversized Productions 6-8:30 p.m.; Every Sun & Sat, Edee and Mondo 3-5 p.m.; Sun, Ernie & Miles 6-8:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Tue & Wed, Brian and Damon 3-5 p.m. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-662-2900.

HULA GRILL - Wed, Ernest Pua’a 2-4 p.m.; Wed, Ernest Pua’a Hawaiian and Friends 6:30-9 p.m.; Thu, Ernest Pua’a 2-4 p.m.; Fri, Ernest Pua’a and Kawika Lum Ho 11:30 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sun, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9 p.m.; Mon, Ernest Pua 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m.; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4 p.m.; Mon, Derick Sebastian and Josh Kahula 6:30-9 p.m.; Tue, Ernest

Karaoke 7:30-11 pm

WED - Karaoke 7:30-11 pm

X-Clusive Saturdays $10, 10 pm-2 am

MON - Service Industry Night; TUES- Dolla Balla Night!

Kulewa 9:45 pm

WED - Open Mic Night No Cover, 10 pm

DJ Nadi 9:30 pm

WED - Benoits 7:30 - 9:30 pm

DJ Pete 90X No Cover, 9 pm - 12 am

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

Mon, Tues, Wed- Sam Ahia No Cover, 6:30 pm-8:30 pm

Crazy Fingers 9pm; No Cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Willie K 3-5 pm

Alex Calmer 4-11 pm

LAHAINA CAFE

LULU’S KIHEI

MON, TUE, WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

The Ringo Show 9pm

UniFires 9pm

Dolla Drinks 9pm

Quiz Night 9 pm

Ka’ena Elaban 9 pm

The Throwdowns

TUE - Dolla Drinks; WED - Dub Fire Back to the 80’s Late Night Disco 10 pm

MON - Willie K 7 pm TUE - Tin Can Comedy w/ Shaggy WED - Rick Glencross 10 pm

Pua’a Hawaiian Trio 4-9 p.m.; Fri, Ernetst Pua’a and Friends 6:30-9 p.m.; Sat, Oren and JR 4-6 p.m.; Sun, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4 p.m.; Tue, Jarret Roback 2-4 p.m. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 808-667-6636.

p.m.; Fri, Jawaiian Music 7-10 p.m. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 808-669-9600.

KIWI ROADHOUSE - Fri, Billy & The Bad Dogs. 95 E. Lipoa St., Suite 201, Kihei, 808-874-1250.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Tue, Ah Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Wed, Greg DiPiazza 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 808-661-8881.

LONGHI’S WAILEA - Sat, Longhi’s. The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Ala Nui , Wailea, 808-891-8883.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Sun, Brian Cuomo 7 p.m.; Mon, Guest Performer 7 p.m.; Fri, Guest Performer 7 p.m. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai , 808-667-0787.

RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA - Every Wed & Thu, Banyan Tree Restaurant. 1 Ritz Carlton Dr., Kapalua, 808-669-6200.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Sun, Mon, Wed & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9 p.m.; Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9 p.m. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 808-669-1500.

KIMO’S RESTAURANT - Every Sun, Mon, Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6-8 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA CAFE - Fri, Alex L Calma 7-9 p.m. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina.

TIAJUANA’S CANTINA - Wed, Tableside Magic with Brenton Keith 6-9 p.m. 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-6674080.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30 p.m.; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30 p.m.; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0700.

SUBMIT YOUR

SOUTH MAUI

LISTINGS

LAHAINA STORE GRILL AND OYSTER BAR - Sun, Haiku Hillbillies 5-7 p.m. 744 Front St., Lahaina, 808-6619090.

BEACH BUM’S BAR & GRILL - Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8 p.m.; Wed, Blues Brews & BBQ 5-9 p.m.; Fri, Tom Cherry/Mike F 5-9 p.m.; Sun, Kaleo 5-9 p.m.; Every Mon, Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5 p.m. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Wailuku, 808-2432286.

Calendar Listings mauitime.com/listing

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Sat, Jd & Harry 2:30-5 p.m.; Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5 p.m.; Fri, The J.D on the Rocks Band 2:30-5 p.m. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina, 808-667-1200.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Mon, The Benoits 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Tue, David Choy 5:30-8:30 p.m. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 808-669-6400.

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF - Fri, Irish Aloha Fridays 7-9 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-8881.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Sat, Jazz on the Green 7-10

■

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10 p.m.; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10 p.m.

555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 808-879-2224.

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Billy & The Bad Dogs 4-7 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-875-9669.

FIVE PALMS RESTAURANT - Sun, Brian Cuomo 7 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-2607.

GIAN DON’S - Fri, Island Music 7-9 p.m.; Sun, Curt Lee & Louise Lambert 5-8 p.m.; Thu, Jeff New Island Style Music 5-8 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-874-4041.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Junior Lacuesta 4-8 p.m.; Sat, Ryan Robinson and Wolf 4-7 p.m.; Sun, Dan and Ann 5-8 p.m.; Mon, TBD 4-8 p.m.; Wed, Jordan Cudworth 4-8 p.m.; Every Tue & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E, Kihei, 808-891-8010.

LULU’S KIHEI - Fri, Dezman and Friends 8-11 p.m.; Fri, Hawaiian and Hula show 5-7 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-9944.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Every Mon & Wed, Willie K 6:30-8:30 p.m.; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:309:30 p.m.; Tue, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 808-874-1131.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Erin Smith 4-6 p.m.; Fri, Derrick Sebastion 4-6 p.m.; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6 p.m.; Sun, Randall Respond 4 a.m.-6 p.m.; Mon, Kanoa of Gomega 4-6 a.m.; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6 p.m. Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Tue, Tom Conway 4-6 p.m.; Wed, Cyrus 4-6 p.m.; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6 p.m.; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6 p.m.; Sun, Phil & Angela Benoit 5-8 p.m.; Mon, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 4-6 p.m. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 808-875-2910.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:309:30 p.m.; Every Sun & Wed, Merv Oana 5:30-9:30 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., Kihei, 808-875-9983.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9 p.m.; Thu, Island Favorites 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Girls Night Out 6-9 p.m.; Sat, Clasic Rock 6-9 p.m.; Sun, Crunch Pups 6-9 p.m.; Mon, Bobby Ingraham 6-9 p.m. 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-891-8860.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8 p.m.; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8 p.m. 1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului, 808-877-0073.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Friends of Bryan 5:30 p.m.; Ev-

July 1, 2010 25

26 July 1, 2010

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

7/01

7/02

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY - WEDNESDAY

7/03

7//04

7/05 - 7/07

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

Sounds of Addiction 10 pm No Cover

Live Irish Aloha Friday 7 pm Johnny Ringo Nite - 10pm

Sounds of Addiction 10 pm No Cover

Entourage Fridays 10 pm; $10

Flashback Saturdays w/ NLE No Cover 10 pm

Ocean Vodka Beach Party 7-10 pm

Smooth Jazz Sounds w/ Brian Cuomo & Friends, 7pm -10m

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

PINEAPPLE GRILLE

200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Jawaiian Music w/ DJ Bruddah Damien

RITZ CARLTON

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Open Mic Night 10 pm

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm-1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm-1am

DJ Slackin; 10pm- Close

DJ Sonny No Cover, 10pm

DJ LX No Cover, 10pm

Roots 9 pm No Cover

Mango Pickers 9 pm No Cover

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

Ah Tim 4-6 pm

Steve Grimes CD Release Party $15 w/ cd

Live Music 10 pm ; No Cover

Kanoa of Gomega No Cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - Tequila Tuesday w/ DJ LX; WED- Ladies Night with the ADD Twins

Jazz Nights w/ The Benoits 5-8 pm

MON - Tom Cherry, Mike Finkiewicz TUES - Tom Conway; WED -Cyrus Clark

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose No Cover, 9pm-11pm

Makawao Sunday Jam 5-9 pm No Cover

Ladies Night with DJ Jay P 10pm; No Cover

Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt 10pm; No Cover

Masquerade Night 10 pm No Cover

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 944-6451

TUE - Taco Tuesday WED - Buck Night & All Access DJs 10pm

Cheryl Rae Band 9 pm - 1 am ; $3

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR THREE’S BAR & GRILL

MON- Bloodlines 10pm, TUES- Ryan Palma 10 pm

Crazy Fingers 10pm

One Ritz Carlton Dr., Kapalua - 669-6200

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

Ryan Palma 10 pm No Cover

MON - Happy Hour TUES - 1/2 Price Sushi and House Music 10 pm WED - Industry Night MON - Johnny RIngo; TUES- Gigi WED - Big John

TIAJUANA’S

Big John

TIFFANY’S

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON-WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm; No Cover

Undone w/ Q Ross 9 pm; $10

Groove Junkies $10 ; 9pm

Acid Wash 80’s Party 9 pm $10

MON- TUES- WED -Closed

Jesse Tanone and Others 9pm, No Cover

Bad Kitty 9:30 pm; No Cover

Ladies Night All Access DJs

Karaoke

MON- Karaoke TUES- Thirsty Tuesdays WED- Karaoke

2911 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali - 667-4080

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

WOW-WEE MAUI’S

333 Dairy Rd. #101, Kahului - 871-1414

ery Thu, Fri & Sat, Menehune Music and Bryan and Friends 8-11:30 p.m.; Sun, Fausto’s Guitar 9 a.m.-1 p.m.; Every Tue & Sat, Francois’ Piano 5 p.m. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 808-873-6555.

MAIN STREET BISTRO - Every Thu & Fri, Rythm & Blues with Freedom 5 p.m.-7:30 a.m. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 808-244-6816.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Wed, Stone Violets 6:30-9 p.m.; Wed, Cafe Des Amis. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-6323.

GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6 p.m. 137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 808-579-9130.

HANA HOU CAFE - Mon-Fri, Hana Hou Cafe 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku, 808-575-2661.

MAX WORLD BISTRO - Fri, Goody and the Kit 6-9:30 p.m.; Every Tue & Wed, Brooks Maguire 6:30-9 p.m. Ha’iku Town Center, 810 Kokomo Rd., Ha’iku, 808-575-2629.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Tue, Open-Mic 7-11 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-9999.

SPICE AND RICE - Thu, The “Trouble Makers” 7-10 p.m. 824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-2770.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa - 200 Nohea Kai Drive, 808-661-1234.

Karaoke No Cover; 8pm

MON - WED - Dat Guyz; No Cover

Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0011.

Live Hawaiian Music 6-8 p.m.

Ceremony 5:30 p.m.

Sheraton Maui - 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0031.

KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” Kanehele Room 4:30-7:30 p.m.

LAGOON BAR - Daily, Cliff Diving Ceremony 6-8 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 6-8 p.m.; Daily, Live Music 6-9 p.m.

TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Show 6:30-7 p.m.; Every Sun & Mon, Kealaoka’ (Jason Fundang) 6-9 p.m.; Every Tue & Wed, Leo Kane 6-9 p.m.; Thu, Daniel Palakiko 6-9 p.m.; Daily, Music by Lanui 6-9 p.m.

Sugar Cane Train - 975 Limahana Pl., 808-661-0088.

LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Tue, Jazz Music 8-10:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Wed, Thu & Sat, Contemporary Music 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Fri, Jazz Music 8-11:30 p.m.; Sun, Hawaiian Music 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Daily, Hula Dancers 5:30-6:30 p.m.

SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5 p.m.; Daily, Ride the Sugar Cane Train 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Grand Wailea Resort & Spa - 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-875-1234.

Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 808-6676244.

BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE - Wed, Live Hawaiian Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Sun, Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Marriot Maui Ocean Club - 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 808-667-1200.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI Daily, Solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Sun, Miles Ahead Duo 8-11 a.m.; Wed, Desmond Yap 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort - 5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., 808-669-6271.

LOOKING FOR

SOMETHING?

Westin Maui Resort & Spa - 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-667-2525.

More Listings are on mauitime.com

NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT Thu, Kincaid Basques and Albert Kaiana 6:30-9 p.m.; Sun, Andrew Kaina 7-9 p.m.; Sat, Coelho Morrison 7-9 p.m.

UMALU - Thu, Off Tomorrow 6-9 p.m.; Daily (except Wed), Live Music 7-9 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6 p.m.; Daily (except Wed), Live Music 4-6 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua - One Ritz-Carlton Dr., 808-669-6200.

Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 808-661-2000.

RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA - Daily, The Lounge.

OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-9:30 p.m.

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Mon-Sat, Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5 p.m.

ALALOA LOUNGE - Every Fri & Sat, Live entertainment 8-12 p.m.

Royal Lahaina Resort - 2780 Kekaa Dr., 808661-3611.

ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Live Hawaiian Music 6-8 p.m.; Every Thu, Fri & Sat,

■

ONO BAR & GRILL - Sun, Raz Shaggai 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Brian Haia 6-9 p.m.; Sat, Keali’i Lum 6-9 p.m.; Wed, Scott Baird Duo with James DeBose 6-9 p.m.

TROPICA - Every Mon & Sat, Mitch Kepa 6-9 p.m.; Tue, Steve Sargenti 6-9 p.m.; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, Benny Uyetake 6-9 p.m.; Sun, Keali’i Lum 6-9 p.m.

GRAND DINING ROOM - Sun, Live Hawaiian Music and Hula Performances 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Alanui, 808-875-5888.

MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Sun, Live Music 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Maui Coast Hotel - 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 808-891-8860.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Mondo Kane 6 p.m.

The Shops at Wailea - 3750 Wailea Alanui, 808891-6770.

THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Wed, Marti Kluth 6:30-8 p.m.; Wed, Jamie Lawerence and friends 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa - 3700 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-879-1922.

SOUTH MAUI

KUMU BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Dancing 6:30-9 p.m.

Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808840-8402.

MELE MELE LOUNGE - Daily, Live Music 9-11 p.m.

FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI

POLO BEACH GRILLE & BAR - Daily, Live Music 4-5:30 p.m.

Hotel Hana-Maui - 5031 Hana Hwy., 808-2488211.

Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-874-8000.

HOTEL HANA-MAUI - Fri, Hula dancing 7-8 p.m.

FOUR SEASONS RESORT - Daily, Tourch Lighting

PANIOLO LOUNGE - Every Sun, Wed, Thu & Sat, Live music 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Fri, Live music 6-9 p.m.

July 1, 2010 27

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Kula Kid

Quarter-Life Crisis â&#x20AC;&#x153;My heart leaps up when I behold / A rainbow in the sky... / So be it when I shall grow old / Or let me die!â&#x20AC;?

- William Wordsworth

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Dear MauiTime Readers:

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

808.250.1788 MAUI WEDDING MEDIAS.COM

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28 July 1, 2010

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A

ll this boo-hoo business of â&#x20AC;&#x153;quarter-lifeâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;mid-lifeâ&#x20AC;? crises, has never sat right with me.

Mostly, it fails to recognize the â&#x20AC;&#x153;nickel-and dime-lifeâ&#x20AC;? crises, and all manner of perennial â&#x20AC;&#x153;penny-lifeâ&#x20AC;? crises. And doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it seem to imply that death (as a centenarian, no less) is the ultimate crisis? If all other crises are a matter of questioning selfesteem, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d hate to think our end is but bitter bemusement, wondering if it was worth a buck.

Maybe what all these calamitous periods of self-pity show us is that growing old is not nearly so hard as growing up. Besides, what is all the fuss over getting older? Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it, like, the point? Age is proof of our worthiness of survival, so that we may one day lay down our toils and surround ourselves with the spoils of the sum of our years!

Could that really be so bad? It isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. I know. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been to the other side.

Quarter-lifer though I may be, in my journey through time and space Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had the unique opportunity to discover a great many things about the world of the sick and elderlyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the secrets of unbridled pleasure they horde for themselves! The concept of Retirement aside, the little things are worth coveting, too. Prune juice, applesauce and intravenous narcotics are all examples of ingestible bliss, the reputations of which have been highly conspired against.

When hospital bed-bound during my stay in Cancer Land, my favorite part of the day was drinking my 5am prune juice (see, apple sauceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; while awesomeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is not terribly substantive, and heavy narcoticsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; when prescribed, also awesomeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; have a way of halting certain, um, cycles). Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d press the cold little can on my forehead to ease the fevered burn, before the nurse would pop the top and serve it to me over crushed ice. They did all but lift the straw to my lips (though I hear theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll do that too, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re especially old).

As I sipped, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d push a few milligrams of opiates directly into the chamber above my heartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right atrium, and unnatural colors would streak the sky otherwise hued like drowned river stone. Everyone would smile and speak slowly, and I would receive a kind pat on the knee if I said something remotely coherent. This, with round after round of pudding alongside carefully

wrapped PB&Js, while I stared out the window watching thin clouds fall like ropes into the valley and rainbows climb out from it. Possessions lost their possessiveness. Responsibility extended only so far as to personal (and I mean, personal) business. If I did not comb my hair, no one cared. If I walked down the hallway, people cheered.

Being â&#x20AC;&#x153;oldâ&#x20AC;? was awesome.

Like all old age, it did not and could not last. I went on to live through leukemia, and my Benjamin Buttonish stint came to an end. But I found this kind of time traveling taunts and exhausts more than chemo, because bigger than the challenge of returning to my real life, is returning to my realage. Whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my 5am prune juice and dose of dilaudid? Who will powder my back and change my socks? What do you mean, I have to put the peanut butter and jelly on myself?

This week, I celebrated completing another ellipses around the sun.

Yeah, I know the American Cancer Societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s motto is â&#x20AC;&#x153;OfďŹ cial Sponsor of Birthdays,â&#x20AC;? but even having traversed to the end of the spectrum and backâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and knowing the pruney, tripped-out bliss that awaits us in our twilight yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found myself not much caring. I dare say I even found myself in a bit of a funkâ&#x20AC;Ś Could it be? The quarter-life crisis I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I believed in? Yes! There it was!

Laughing at me in the mirror, and spitting at me from my pocketbookâ&#x20AC;Ś Then my mom, in all her inďŹ nite (and cute) wisdom, did something to change my mind and my mood. She put just one candle on my cake, symbolizing a ďŹ rst re-birthday since my recovery. As I blew out the ďŹ&#x201A;ame, I realized these timetabled life-crises are in fact as irrelevant as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d thought, because crises come and crises go, no matter how old or up we grow. But in the end, bitter or no, it is totally worth it. (Even if just for the drugs and prune juice.) â&#x2013;

Anu Yagi welcomes public comments, and will be hanging out at mauifeed. com/kulakid. You can also follow her on Twitter at @anuheayagi.

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1402k

by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscopes

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) You can continue to flail ineffectively at the fly buzzing around your head.

Alternatively you could stoically try (and fail) to ignore it. Or, you could take a minute to just go get a fly swatter or some other appropriate tool and just make the problem go away once and for all. What’s it going to be? Would you rather keep wasting time and energy on a “solution” that’s both poorly thought out and never going to work? Or will you just go easy on yourself and take a moment to get the tools you need to address the problem once and for all?

SIGN

AGE LANGU

Quizunderstood answers 1. Timothy McVeigh 2. “The path to Tahiti” 3. William McKinley; 1901

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Chicanery is not your usual way of doing things. You’re just not into tricking people; generally you’re happiest when you’re upfront and honest about everything, even when you know a little deceit could improve your situation tremendously. I respect that. There will be those in your life who counsel you otherwise, who may advocate and encourage your worst urges. They might even be right; following their advice could improve your situation. However, I urge you to ignore them anyway. Changing things up needs to be on your terms and using your methods. Until it feels 100% right, stick to the honest path you’ve walked so far.

4. Candis Cayne (born Brendan McDaniel)

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Growing up is overrated. Always being responsible is dull. You need to redraw the line and cut yourself a little more slack. Make some more time to play, to be silly, and to have fun. Of course, it’s possible to go too far in that direction, but I doubt that’ll happen to you. This week, shift your perspective a bit. Don’t make “getting things done” the be-all, end-all purpose of your existence. Rethink your priorities. If you can get to a point where “getting things done so I can have some fun” is your raison d’etre, you’ll be doing just fine.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) A lie isn’t exactly a lie when it reveals a deeper truth. How is that possible? Isn’t the truth the deepest truth?

Most of the time, sure. Sometimes, though, you have to do battle with assumptions and standards imposed on you against your will. They’re not fair, nor the least bit sensible. Letting people think something that allows you to escape such assumptions—and therefore be more yourself—is, in this case, perfectly acceptable.

There will be a time when you can—and should—come clean, though. Don’t let it pass you by—or your helpful white lie will become something more malignant.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Don’t get stuck. Just because something worked for you once is no reason to decide it’s the only tool you’ll use. If someone told you that you look great in that shirt, would you have trouble going out in any other outfit? Be glad something worked for you, but trust that there are a lot of other things that’ll be nearly as wonderful, or possibly better. This week, steer clear of the tried and true. This is a great time for hopeful experiments. When some of them crash and burn (and they will) be graceful enough to have a good laugh about it—you can always go back to “whatever worked” a bit further down the line.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) If a gift comes with strings—even if they don’t appear until some time later—it’s no longer a gift.

Obviously, there’s no way to know, when accepting someone’s generosity, what it’ll be attached to a little further down the line. However, rest assured that unless obligations were in some way revealed before you accepted the present, you need pay them no mind. They can be safely and politely ignored or refused. That, my dear, is exactly how you should respond to any un-agreed-to favors called in this week. That’s not your baggage; don’t get conned into picking it up.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) You sometimes let effectiveness obscure ethics. Making “whatever works” morally okay is certainly one route to success that many businesses have profited from tremendously. It’s also led to a host of problems that have gotten to the point of endangering our lives and our planet. Please don’t go there.

You’re capable of doing perfectly well by adhering to both standard ethics and the whisperings of your own conscience. Losing touch with that intelligent inner voice might make you briefly wealthier, in the most literal sense—but your life will ultimately feel much poorer as a result.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) I heard you were Cleopatra in a past life. Sadly, I’ve heard that about any number of other people, too.

I know you want to believe you’re special—and you are! However, you might not be quite so wonderful in exactly the ways you wish you were. This week, try to notice and attend to all the things that are actually and tangibly unique about you, instead of trying to convince yourself and others that all that other stuff—the Cleopatra fables and their ilk—is true. Concentrate on what is, not what could or should be. It’s not only more important—once you really look at it, you’ll notice it’s more interesting— and yes, special—than you thought.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Sure, polyamorists have more complicated relationships—instead of having to balance one other person’s needs with their own, they have to manage a few. However, for some people that could be exactly what fulfills them. Are you one of these? Imagine this: You’re bored or frustrated with your current partner. You could dump them and move on; or you could achieve a new balance that involves one or two more people, and ultimately end up still connected to your original partner years later, precisely because you didn’t limit yourself to them. Of course, that’s an extreme scenario but it demonstrates my point: there are many more solutions and options than you were previously considering; get creative and open yourself to them.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Goldilocks sneaks into the bears’ house. Picky little thing, she’s dissatisfied with almost everything she finds there, and rejects it until she finds the porridge and mattress that are “just right.” You’ve got a little bit of her excessively critical mentality right now. Not only are you helping yourself to stuff you haven’t really asked permission to have, you’re being incredibly judgmental about it. I don’t mind that you’re breaking (or at least bending) the rules a little, but this week at least have the courtesy to be humble, and grateful for whatever you get.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Consider your audience. Whenever you put something out into the world, you have to at least imagine how you hope it’ll be received. That’s not to say you should compromise who and what you are just so you’ll be more popular. Don’t be arbitrary about which path you take. There’s probably a surprisingly wide spectrum of choices available to you that could all be classified as authentic and true for you.

Since it all fits who you are and where you’re at, why not choose the particular shade that’s most likely to get you what you want?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Going to the gym once a week is better than not going at all; however, if you really want to be able to see results, working out more often will, obviously, be much more effective. You can’t pair a lackadaisical attitude with a drive for dramatic outcomes; you’ll just be disappointed. Make sure your effort matches your goals this week. You can do that by upping how much time and energy you put into the thing until you can realistically expect something like what you’re hoping for—or by toning down your desires until you’ll be happy with the consequences of whatever effort you’re willing to put forth.

July 1, 2010 29

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DEADLINE: JULY 16TH PUBLISHES: JULY 22ND Contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or Tommy at 808-283-0512