15.17 The Kids Are All Right, October 13, 2011, Volume 15, Issue 17, MauiTime

OCTOBER 13, 2011 + VOLUME 15 + ISSUE 17 + FREE

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R L L A E R A

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W g G P R IN E K T A N M E C 'S L O A H R W U LT AT U K C O & O TH AL U O Y PAIA

Must Present Hawaii I.D.

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OCTOBER 13, 2011

Contents VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Your favorite after-school activity at age 12?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Atari Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Running away with the circus Proofreader: Dina Wilson Ridng my Shetland pony Puff-Puff Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Intern: Natasha-Lyn P. Mendoza Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com I used to smoke pot then, so I can’t remember :( Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Burglary General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Eating candy

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ISSUE 17

COVER: Ryan Worcester, director of the Paia Youth & Community Center and the rest of the gang.

Photo By Sean Michael Hower howerphoto.com

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NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING THIS WEEK’S PICKS DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES KULA KID HOROSCOPE CLASSIFIED MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executives: Keo Eaton, Kellie R. Holliday (808) 244-0777 Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Atari

READER FEEDBACK

BY READERS LIKE YOU DEBATING FACTORY FISH FARMING If you were well informed about the subject, you might “flip flop” as well on the subject of “factory fish farming” (Coconut Wireless, Oct. 6, 2011).

Food and Water Watch is simply wrong on the subject of open ocean fish farming. You can choose to believe their fear mongering and unscientific baseless rhetoric, or you can research the science and learn the truth. I hope you choose to look under the covers and educate yourself further before continuing to perpetuate falsehoods as you have done with this poorly researched article. Real journalists attempt to tell both sides of the story. You have done nothing more than just parrot highly funded activist organizations that make money by telling lies.

If you want to understand more about the science behind open ocean aquaculture, I am happy to oblige.

-Bill Spencer, CEO Hawaii Oceanic Technology, Inc, via Mauitime.com Parrots are annoying birds but so are crybabies. No one needs to tell both sides of the story. Your story is already propagated throughout every other paper. It’s always funny to see a big-ag CEO tell a newspaper how they should do their reporting. The other side, the environmental green side, is NEVER reported in major newspapers. It always comes down on the side of big business. So save your tears, you big crybaby.

-Steve, via Mauitime.com

COVERING THE COVER MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

I’m here staring at the MauiTime (Oct. 6, 2011). I’ve been reading your magazine for a very long time. I’ve been living in Kihei, South Kihei, for 28 years.. I cannot believe this cover of this. It surely shows a shark in South Kihei, [it] says Little Hollywood. I am trying my hardest to say that I love every part of Maui... And you have the AUDACITY to put something like this on the cover! It’s outrageous!... You should apologize!

-Julie Weiss, via voicemail

Love your latest cover! Would be cool framed!

-Sarah Burns, via Facebook

READERS LOVE TO HATE GMOS Hawaii, along with the other 49 United States, are deeply corrupted by Big Ag’s Big Money!

(Coconut Wireless, Oct. 6, 2011). President Obama betrayed us on his promise to label GMOs, not to mention [his appointing] Monsanto employees in his administration.

-Jerry Cunningham, via Mauitime.com You and me are both wrong. We thought the GMO Resolution wouldn’t pass, but it did (Coconut Wireless, Oct. 6, 2011). I’m thoroughly elated and I hope that the other counties follow suit. Thank you to Elle Cochran for listening to me, I’m a hard person to deal with because I kept calling her until she introduced it. And look: It happened! That’s what persistence can accomplish, if you’re nice about it.

Thank you for writing the Coconut Wireless article, I was really shocked when I opened the paper. I was about to eat dinner, and then I saw the article and got really excited. So thank you. You made my week.

-Ramoda Anand, via email

FARM TOURS INFO Jen, thanks for the wonderful story. People can reach us by calling (808) 283-9131 or via the website at mauicountryfarmtours.com.

-Marilyn Lopes, via Mauitime.com

LIKES BAILEY HOUSE, MAPS This looks like another top-quality exhibit at Bailey House! (“The Treasure of Maps,” Oct. 6, 2011). The quote by [Miles] Harvey, “It may take you months, even years...” is a hoot. [Riley] Moffat sounds like the right man to educate about mapping Maui.

-Wendy Matarese, via Mauifeed.com

Send your feedback to the editor editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

TAKE ON THE MACHINE

THE ALL-NEW SCION tC TakeOnTheMachine.com

©2011 Scion, a marque of Toyota Motor Sales U.S.A., Inc. All rights reserved. Scion, the Scion logo, and tC are trademarks of Toyota Motor Corporation.

OCTOBER 13, 2011

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Must Present Hawaii I.D.

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OCTOBER 13, 2011

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Looks like there was a little shakeup in the governor’s office. On Oct. 6, Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie’s press secretary sent out a media statement saying Amy Asselbaye, his chief of staff (who spent 18 years working for Abercrombie), and Andrew Aoki, the deputy chief of staff, had both resigned and would be out by the end of the month. Ironically, both officials gave the same reason for their sudden–and there was no warning of any of this–departures: “to spend more time with their families and young children.”

Then the next day, Honolulu Civil Beat reported that Josh Levinson, the governor’s communications director, was also vacating the State Capitol because of, a) Asselbaye’s and Aoki’s departures and b) “his own desire to see more of his family.”

I laughed out loud when I read all this.

No one with the tiniest knowledge of political affairs will see that reason as anything other than complete bullshit. I can’t think of a government official who didn’t resign in the last 20 years for any reason other than to “spend more time with their families.” It’s beyond cliche, and frankly, we’re past due agreeing on a new idiom to explain the surprising and uncomfortable staff shuffles that plague every administration on the planet. Something that, while still not giving out any detailed or particularly honest information, is not immediately recognizable as a cover story designed to divert attention from the actual reason.

How about something with more local Hawaiian flavor, like, say: “Chief of Staff Amy Asselbaye resigned yesterday so she could spend more time surfing.” Everyone likes surfing, right? Or “Josh Levinson will leave the governor’s office at the end of the month so he can spend more time this winter watching whales.”

Not sexy enough? How about this one: “Deputy Chief of Staff Andrew Aoki stepped down yesterday because something way, way cooler came along.”

Yeah, that feels about right.

FRIDAY PEACE PROTEST RUNDOWN There was something reassuring but also depressing about the fact that the only laws being broken at the Oct. 7 anti-Afghanistan war/Wall Street corruption demonstrations at the State Office Building in Wailuku were copyright laws. Then again, nothing says Down With Corporations like pasting peace signs onto copyrighted images of Ironman, Homer Simpson and even Mickey Mouse (careful–Disney is litigious as all hell!) and then rendering them as line drawings for kids to color.

There were a few dozen people demonstrating when I walked over around 3pm (some of those may have been waiting for the bus–it was hard to tell), but there were

PHOTO BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

TIME FOR A NEW CLICHE

up, ranging from denunciations of the Afghan and Iraq fighting to U.S.-born cleric Anwar al-Awlaki’s “extrajudicial murder” (he was blown up by a CIA-controlled Predator drone a few weeks ago).

These people mean well, but seeing the same folks (Hi Nikhilananda!) stand on the same streets and wave the same signs doesn’t bode well for the radical left on Maui. With an average demonstrator age hovering around 60, groups like Maui Peace Action really have to step up their campus recruiting activities.

GOODBYE LAIRD AND GABRIELLE

See! We're not the only ones who make typos.

Looks like the housing market is worse than anyone thought. I know this because last week the Honolulu Star-Advertiser reported that none other than surf legend Laird Hamilton and his wife, volleyball legend Gabrielle Reece, just sold their Peahi home. That’s right, the guy we're supposed to blame for the popularity of standup paddling (as well as credit for kick-ass tow-in surfing) will no longer be living in a 6,400 square-foot house on a 10-acre parcel overlooking Jaws.

Of course, given Maui’s depressed real estate situation, Hamilton and Reece basically had to fire-sale their place. Yeah–the Star-Advertiser reported that the purchase prices was a measly $2.4 million (down from a $2.75 million asking price). Ouch!

Oh, and the reason America’s true power couple are bailing on Maui? The StarAdvertiser says it’s “because they’re spend-

We're moving :( a couple dozen more a few hours later when I walked by.

Their signs spoke of a general lack of trust concerning the continuing war in Afghanistan as well as the “Federal Resere

[sic].” One woman was carrying a curious sign labeled “Fair and Balance,” despite the fact that that’s pretty much been the motto of Fox News for the last decade.

There was also plenty of literature to pick

Overheard “I eat it, poop it out, flush it down the toilet. That’s what happens to time.”

-Woman talking in Wailuku Town, Aug. 6

ing more time at the property on Kauai.”

Which, when you’re wealthy and powerful, is the same as saying “spend more time with my family.”■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1517n2

OCTOBER 13, 2011

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 1.

On Oct. 11, former Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle announced that she would run for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Democrat Daniel Akaka, who steps down next year. What other special event was celebrated on that day?

A. Columbus Day

Resorts” category. Which of the following did NOT make the cut?

A. Royal Lahaina B. Four Seasons Resort Maui C. Ritz Carlton Kapalua D. Travassa Hana E. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa F. Fairmont Kea Lani G. Grand Wailea

3. The cover model of the Oct./Nov. 2011

B. Arbor Day C. National Coming Out Day D. National Boss Day E. Thanksgiving Day (Canada) F. United Nations Day

2. This week Conde Nast Traveler presented its 24th annual Readers’ Choice Awards. For the 17th time, Maui made “Best Island in the World,” and a number of island resorts also made the “Top Hawaii

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issue of Maui Vision magazine has Summer Crosley on the cover. What does Ms. Crosley do for a living?

A. Modeling.

B. Makes candles out of sea urchin shells.

C. Raises awareness for ocean conservation.

D. Acting.

E. Nude body-double for Showtime’s Californication.

F. All of the above.

G. A, B and C only H. D and E only

See answers, page 29

NEWS&VIEWS

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

BY JEN RUSSO

PONOLOVE Do you know what to do if you witnessed an act of sexual violence?

I don’t know much beyond calling the police, but there are a lot of things we can do to stand against domestic and sexual violence.

Marching Shoes

tic Violence Task Force, Women Helping Women, Child and Family Services, PACT, UHMC Counseling Department, UHMC Educational Opportunity Center, Maui Family Support Services Father Involvement, Department of Health, QLCC Native Hawaiians Men’s Group and the Prevent Suicide Maui County Task Force.

These community supporters will be there to provide information on what to do and how to help in relationship and sexual violence encounters. Participants can also pick up a card, get it stamped by these booths and enter to win fabulous prizes.

IMUA LOVES ROYS

The University of Hawaii-Maui College Sexual Violence Prevention Project – named “Ponolove” – is inviting the community to support their “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” event. This Tuesday they are asking men to man-up and don heels (yes, they will provide them) to generate awareness of sexual violence.

“There is a more far reaching impact when men support awareness of sexual violence in the community,” says Angela Nuemann, a Mental Health and Social Services grad student at University of Hawaii. “We have found that there are higher rates of sexual violence during the college years so we are bringing this consciousness to campus in the form of this march.”

By asking men to be the leaders in the fight towards preventing violence against women, the event aims to open communication about gender violence and shed light on women’s experiences with violence rape and sexual assault. Sexual violence remains one of the most under reported crimes nationally. Women aged 16 to 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence.

A report from the Sexual Violence Strategic Planning Group in 2005 estimated that female victims over the age of 12 report rapes 36 percent of the time, and only 26 percent of sexual assaults are reported. If the offender is a boyfriend or husband that crime is not reported 75 percent of the time.

Those numbers make designating funding for social services difficult. A report by the state Attorney General’s office also identified that the forcible rape rate for Hawaii is now slightly higher than the national average, after being lower for many years.

So far the Maui Fire Department, Maui Police Department, Drug Court clients, students and other groups have said they will attend. Ladies are asked to support by holding signs and cheering the guys on in the high-heeled march.

The march starts at 11am at the UH Maui campus, with performances from Lia Live and Gomega. Makani from Pacific Radio Group will emcee. Organizations manning booths at the event include the Domes-

In these dour financial times non-profits are left to hang to dry or fend for themselves. At Imua Family Services in Wailuku, they have embraced the climate as best as they can by securing successful partner-

Services Humanitarian of the Year during the annual Maui Non-Profit Directors Pau Hana Celebration held at the Kahili room at the Kamehameha Golf Course.

The reason was the 14th annual Roy’s Restaurants’ Golf Classic, which was held in September at the Royal Kaanapali Golf Course. That event raised more than $65,000 for Imua Family Services.

“Combined efforts of the committee and participants made the 14th annual the most exciting tournament ever,” said Yamaguchi. Forty four teams vied for the honors and prizes. The first place team was Ryan Thorton of Insurance Associates, second was McKeon Imlay Mehling and third was Royal Lahaina Villas.

Dean Wong, Executive Director at Imua Family Services, accepted the award for Roy Yamaguchi, who was unable to attend the awards celebration. “We see this award as a reflection of Yamaguchi’s progressive thinking as a businessman and humanitarian,” says Wong. “We are only as strong and vigilant as our community is and how it gives back to our nonprofit organizations.

Roy’s Restaurants of Hawaii is a role model business for its community support.”

Imua Family Services provides vital services to our community, supplying early childhood development services to children and their families. This includes newborn hearing screening, infant child development and early childhood development services and Camp Imua. For more information go to imuafamilyservices.org.

FREE CHICO BAGS! Roy Yamaguchi

ships with the local business community. en One of these partnerships has been with Roy’s Restaurants.

On Friday, owner Roy Yamaguchi was named Imua Family

I hate all those horror stories about our precious sea creatures choking to death on plastic trash that’s found its way to the sea.

Man-made products like plastic bags and six-pack holders are the worst offenders.

It’s estimated that hundreds of thousands of marine mammals die every year because of encounters with the single-use bag alone. singl Pacific Whale Foundation is Pa

supporting the Maui County movement to get rid of all plastic bags. They’re now offering a free reusable Chico bag with donations of $25 or more to their organization.

Single-use grocery bags are made of polyethylene, a petroleum based product.

Though Maui banned them, an astonishing four to five trillion of them are still manufactured each year, with a mere one percent of that getting recycled. These bags take 1,000 years to break down.

Of course, single-use paper bags are just

Hey, what a chico bag?

as bad for the planet’s forests. It takes 14 million trees to create the 10 million paper bags the U.S. consumes every year.

The Chico bag was designed by a Chico State University graduate Andy Keller, now ChicoBag™ president. They are designed to fold down into a compact, selfcontained pouch. They can be carried easily in your pocket, and are strong enough to carry a load.

Pacific Whale Foundation is offering Chico bags with their donations, one for $25 dollars, two for $40 and three for $50.

To ensure receiving your bag by Halloween, please donate by Oct. 18 at www.pacificwhale.org/content/chico-bag-donation. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1516n3

II’O ’O O WINE NE CLU CLUB CL LUB PROUDL LU UD U UDLY DL DL LY Y PRES PRES RESENT R RE ES E SENT EN E N NT TS

TWEET of the WEEK “I’m tired of being smart. Smart people get cancer and die. Idiots run the world freely. I’m going to watch Jersey Shore till my brain dies” -@Shaggylive (Q103 Program Director Shaggy Jenkins), Oct. 6

WHERE FOOD, WINE AND ASTROLOGY MEET

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OCTOBER 13, 2011

NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

GREAT DEATH An option for suicide “with elegance and euphoria” is how Lithuanian-born Ph.D. candidate Julijonas Urbonas (London’s Royal College of Art) described his “Euthanasia [Roller] Coaster,” currently on the drawing board. Urbonas’ model of “gravitational aesthetics” would be a thirdmile-long, 1,600-foot-high thrill ride engineered to supply 10 Gs of centrifugal force (a spin at about 220 mph) to induce cerebral hypoxia, forcing blood away from the head and denying oxygen to the brain. Euphoria (and disorientation and anxiety, but not pain) are likely states to precede the brain’s shutdown. Urbonas insisted that users would have the option through the first two minutes of the three-minute ride to rethink their decision and bail out (or else to push the final “FALL” button). Suicide is legal in four European countries and Oregon and Washington.

GOVERNMENT INACTION! An open-government advocacy group’s survey of federal agencies, released in July, revealed that eight of them have unresolved Freedom of Information Act requests that are over a decade old, including one pending for more than 20 years.

(The 1976 FOIA law requires resolution within 20 business days, with a 10-day extension under “unusual circumstances.”) Also regarding the FOIA, a June 2011 request by the city of Sioux City, Iowa, for background documents regarding the recent Postal Service decision to move jobs from Sioux City to Sioux Falls, S.D., was met promptly–by the Postal Service’s forecast that the likely fee for the documents would be $831,000, even though under the law the first two search hours and the first 100 documents are free.

JUST PLAIN STUPID In August, the Securities and Exchange Commission’s inspector general revealed that a $1,200 cash award was paid by the agency in 2010 to one of the very employees who had been specifically singled out for allowing Bernard Madoff to talk his way out of SEC inquiries in 2005 and 2006, before his epic Ponzi scheme was exposed in 2008. The IG helpfully recommended that, in the future, awards not be given to employees who have recently been facing potential disciplinary action for poor performance.

TERROR SPENDING Among the aftershocks of the 9-11 attacks on America was the colossal budget-busting on “homeland security”–a spending binge that, additionally, was thought to require something approaching uniform disbursement of funds throughout the 50 states. (Endless “what if” possibilities left no legislator willing to forsake maximum security.) Among the questionable projects described in a Los Angeles Times August review were the purchase of an inflatable Zodiac boat with wide-scan sonar–in case terrorists were eyeing Lake McConaughy in Keith County, Neb.; cattle nose leads, halters and electric prods (to protect against biological attacks on cows, awarded to Cherry County, Neb.); a terrorist-proof iron fence around a Veterans Affairs hospital near Asheville, N.C.; and $557,400 in communications and rescue gear in case North Pole, Alaska, got hit.

LIVING, DEAD: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE AGAIN? The Office of Personnel Management’s inspector general denounced the agency in September for promiscuously continuing to pay pension benefits to deceased federal retirees–citing a 70 percent rise in bogus payments over the last five years. However, another federal inspector general (the Social Security Administration’s) chastised its agency for the opposite reason: About 14,000 people each year are cut off from benefits after erroneously being declared dead.

GREAT ART!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

E

h parking garage toll booth guys. Yeah, all of you! Quit checking out my panties as I drive through the exit lanes after work! I’m a young girl on Maui, so I wear lots of dresses and skirts, but that doesn’t give you the right to look up them! I realize your vantage point up there is just perfect for perving out on chicks like me, but seriously, would you want some sicko doing that to your wife? Or your daughter? It’s really, super creepy, and you’re not getting away with it. I spread the word to my girls at work and we’re all on to you now!

I can’t wait until the day you f*#k up and try to look up my dress when my husband is in the passenger seat. ■

Two women were charged in September with what was likely a major art theft for Johnson City, Tenn. Connie Sumlin, 45, and Gail Johnson, 58, were identified from surveillance video as the ones who snatched two pieces of art off the wall in the entrance of a local Arby’s restaurant (a picture of some pears, and a metal art object, with an alleged combined value, according to the police report, of “$1,200”).

THIS WEEK IN CENTAURS Earlier this year, Marion Laval-Jeantet won a notable Prix Ars Electronica award for her “hybrid” work that, she said, intends to blur the boundaries between species. Laval-Jeantet stepped onstage in Ljubljana, Slovenia, as a horse-human, having earlier injected herself with horse blood (after prepping her body for several months with different horse immunoglobulins). She also walked with stilts that had “hooves” affixed to the bottom. She capped the show by extracting some of her own presumably-hybrid blood, to be frozen and stored for future research.

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS In September, a jury found Terry Newman, 25, and an associate guilty of aggravated assault for a home invasion in San Antonio in 2009, thus adding insult to Newman’s injuries. Newman was shot by a resident during the initial invasion, and then again by another resident when he returned 15 minutes later to retrieve his car. Finally, after police encountered Newman following a short chase, he resisted officers and was shot again, for the third time.

None of the injuries was life-threatening.

LOUSY DEATH An inquest in Yorkshire, England, in September found that the February death of Brian Depledge, 38, was accidental–that he had inadvertently strangled himself after falling onto a folding clothes horse (of the kind often used to hang recently washed laundry on to dry). The coroner concluded that Depledge’s body had become trapped between rungs in such a way that the more he moved his arms to extricate himself, the tighter was the pressure that was unavoidably placed on his neck. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1517n4

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S D I K T E H H T IG

R L L A E R A AT K A LOOHO'S W G N I K A M S WAVE A I A P E AT TH UTH & YO L A R U T CU L TE R CE N ke Ho a n a t

By Lan

M

ANY YEARS AGO, there was a busy neighborhood alongside a cane field and ironwood groove on the edge of idyllic Paia Bay. Within the tin roofs and wooden walls, the houses sheltered migrant workers from the nearby sugar plantations. Now flash forward, through the tsunami of 1946, to the 1990s. Now there’s just one house still perched on the crest of the sand. It’s graffiti-scarred and sagging, yet bursting with potential.

Recognizing a need to provide some sort of safe place for kids age nine to 19, the community dedicated the house to the new Paia Youth & Cultural Center (PYCC). Through the salty, sandy, fun-packed years, the non-profit has grown and thrived and now offers several life skills programs, including film and music production, a radio station, a cooking class and an adventure/challenge program (disclosure: I work at the center as a Drop-In Program Specialist).

Most immediately obvious to passers-by is the Stonewave Sk8park. Through the swishing roar of the ironwoods and the crash of the surf, the sounds of skateboard wheels on cement, music and kids having a blast reverberate through the parking lot. The 10,000-square-foot park has several looping bowls shaped like the bottom of a swimming pool, a mini bowl and flowing sections with smooth transitions, as well as street props and a quarter pipe. It took several years to develop, design, fund and construct the park. After some setbacks and lots of community support, the park opened its concrete ramps to the public in 2005.

The Youth Center and the kids who use its services have always had a strong connection to skateboarding; in the ‘90s, the center featured a halfpipe that very many kids, now in their 20s, spent hours ripping. In the past, the skate program has been run by several notable figures in the community, including Blaze Anderson, whom untold numbers of Maui kids count as their mentor.

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OCTOBER 13, 2011

Photos by Sean Michael Hower The PYCC recently brought on a new director, Ryan Worcester, 29. Originally from a coastal town in Maine, Ryan has a melting-pot resume that includes having been a sponsored athlete for several action sports, including BMX. He’s worked as a writer and photographer for multiple companies and magazines. He’s worked building terrain features for ski resorts and has helped with planning skateparks in several cities. “I’ve been recreating and working in skateparks for most of my life at this point,” he says.

th ia You er ’ a P e Th nt ural Ce y t l u C & a Hw 28 Han 99, Pa’ia, H I 354 x 7909 PO Bo • 808-579-8 96779 “Anyone can skate here,” Worcester says of the Stonewave Sk8park, despite the common misconception that it is for Youth Center members only. “There is a great cross section of people who come out to skate and I’d love to see even more people coming to enjoy the facility.” For a small fee ($5 per day or $15 per month), skaters can visit the park from Tuesday and Wednesday 3pm to 7pm and Thursday through Saturday 3pm to 9pm.

Orion Milligan, 16, has been frequenting the skatepark for several years. “I come almost every day,” he says, with his brothers Sunny, 14, and Clay, 12. “It’s awesome.” Milligan’s dedication to the park has been made into an actual position; he assists the director with skatepark operations, from sweeping the ramps to making sure everyone wears a

helmet. As we sat and chatted about the skatepark, he was busy changing the music in the center and making sure a young child had his waiver signed as one of his brothers came in, salty and sandy from the surf.

Skateboarding has evolved from its roots as a hippie-rebel sport born of the alternative surf culture. The sport’s image as a non-conformist expression of dissidence has faded quite a bit in recent years. Most people now recognize and support skateboarding as a healthy avenue for promoting athleticism and perseverance. As kids build on their basic skills, the skaters learn the benefits of creativity and spontaneity.

H

OUSE HOST Melekai Jenson and Program Specialist Anna Higa are alumni of the Youth Center. “I’m glad to be working somewhere that means so much to me,” says Jenson, who’s always ready with a smile, a game, painting project or a suggestion for a field trip to Makena.

The PYCC and the skatepark are a positive force in many kids’ lives. “It can give kids an escape, it teaches kids selfdiscipline and shows kids the reward of a new skill set that comes with hard work and dedication,” says Worcester. “It brings together kids from a broad age, social and economic demographic. Skateboarding is an individual sport but involves the support and camaraderie of others. In its purest form, skateboarding always has been and always will be more about having fun than winning which as an ethos we might all want to consider.”

The youth themselves are very involved in the park, and will help with the design of a new cement street course section that will replace older, out-of-commission wooden ramps. “We’re hoping to raise enough funds to begin the project in the next few months,” says Worcester. “This skatepark has a few unique and standout qualities, the location on the beach being the most important. Second is the park being part of the PYCC umbrella, which can make a

In the course of a day, a kid can hit the skatepark, shoot some footage of his or her friends, make and edit a video, borrow a body board and get in the ocean, get some airtime on the radio station, learn to cook and/or get help with homework. Or they can play a video game, shoot pool and watch a movie.

day at the park for youth a multi-faceted experience.”

In the course of a day, a kid can hit the skatepark, shoot some footage of his or her friends, make and edit a video, borrow a body board and get in the ocean, get some airtime on the radio station, learn to cook and/or get help with homework. Or they can play a video game, shoot pool and watch a movie.

“My favorite is cooking class,” says Cade Houghton, 11.

“It’s really fun. I like making deserts. And chopping stuff.

It’s a really good thing to know how to do.”

Every day, under the supervision of ever-creative Ben Rachunas, members in the Pa‘ia Bay Café program design a menu, find or create recipes and prepare a meal. As the delicious scent of curry, tacos or musubi starts to waft from the café, kids traipse in from the skatepark and the beach looking for sustenance.

For dessert, Rachunas will help the kids whip up anything from Nutella pie to a batch of dark chocolate. The café charges kids $2 per meal; they can also do homework or chores around the house to earn points that go towards credits to purchase food. Donations from Flatbread Company, Mana Foods and Mama’s Fish House are essential to running the café.

This past year, youth and staff collaborated to create a cookbook, Our Hanai Plate: Cultural Waves that Helped Create the Taste of Hawai‘i Nei. The cookbook, a fundraising project, will be available soon at Longs, Costco, Walmart, Barnes & Nobles, as well as various stores on the Northshore and on the PYCC website (pyccmaui.org).

I

N THE WINTER MONTHS, when the surf is up, traffic through the center increases and sand starts spilling in the back door. Kids pull body boards and surfboards from the rack of donated equipment. Towels pile up at the door and older members drop in to say hello before hitting the waves, always remembering where the

stash of surf wax is kept.

And in the old plantation house, as kids gather to hang out, the radio is often tuned to radiOpio KOPO 89.9fm, PYCC’s own radio station. Run by Program Director Laura Civitello, the station’s radio airwaves are often owned by some very creative young DJs. Youth in the radio program can air their original compositions, sharpen speaking and reading skills by reading aloud on-air or just spend some quiet time in the studio playing their favorite songs. Members record public service announcements and voice their opinions on various topics, songs and artists.

In one radio theater piece written and performed by members, a girl who grows up in a dirty Ugg boot in Paia overcomes her warty youth to make it as a doctoral student and proud owner of a Porsche. Some youth have regularly scheduled shows, and some just jump on the air whenever the studio’s available.

“It is deeply satisfying to witness how the access to the medium of radio can play an important role in youth’s development,” says Civitello, who keeps the station flowing with an eclectic selection of music during school hours and at night. “The seldom-heard voices of youth make a lovely, lively, and often flat-out hilarious sound.”

Though there is no advertising budget, the radio has a lively word-of-mouth following and streams online (pyccmaui.org/php/radiopio.php). Besides being a local favorite, the station has received national acclaim: in 2010, Paste magazine voted radiOpio #7 on their list of The Greatest Little Stations in America.

The responsibility of operating the station gives the youth a creative outlet and enhances self-confidence in the process. All the center’s life skills programs are designed with this in mind.

In fact, much of the Youth Center activity is captured on film or photos by those PYCC members who work in the

Hekili Mulitimedia Lab, managed by Peter Swanzy. Kids use the lab’s equipment to capture their friends in action at the skatepark or in the waves, or just playing around.

Major confidence is given to the youth; in return, some amazing photography and a sense of creative responsibility is returned.

In the lab, the kids learn photography, editing, music, audio engineering, Photoshop, graphics and “all things media,” says Swanzy. Some youth upload their creations to YouTube or Facebook. Many collaborate on projects, make skate videos or just use the space to relax and foster their creativity. Several alumnae have developed their skills and passion in the lab and gone on to film school.

Besides developing their talents and learning new skills in the radio or the lab, kids 12 and up can also go on outings with Juliana Prater, who coordinates and runs the Malama Pono Project Venture Program with Higa and Swanzy. With Project Venture, kids can hike through the Bamboo Forest, go ziplining, jump off Black Rock and go on surf trips. This October, they are having a camp during Fall Break where participants will adventure by day and sleep in tents and have bonfires and games by night.

It’s all part of what’s going on in the old plantation house on the edge of the sand. There, hundreds of young people over the years have found a place to express themselves, be themselves and maybe even become themselves.

I know I did. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1517l

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OCTOBER 13, 2011

11

FOOD&DRINK

the

2 Savory And Sweet BAr 0 GUIDE 11

It’s okay to take your time and enjoy Maui Swiss Cafe

BY JEN RUSSO

Swiss Cafe 640 Front St., Lahaina (808) 661-6776 maui-swisscafe.com @MauiSwissCafe on Twitter

DEADLINE: OCT. 14TH PUBLISHES: OCT. 20ST TO RESERVE SPACE CONTACT: BRAD AT 808-283-3260 OR BRAD@MAUITIME.COM TOMMY AT 808-283-0512 OR TOMMY@MAUITIME.COM

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wiss cuisine conjures up very recognizable images of Swiss cheese, fondues, cheese and potato dishes, but their lesser known cafe foods may be a bit more elusive.

The Maui Swiss Cafe in Lahaina has been sneaking these flavors onto our American and Hawaiian palates for 17 years! I still remember the first time I tried one of their sandwiches that takes the usual deli ingredients of lettuce, tomato and cured meats and adds a Swiss touch of cream cheese, hard boiled eggs and pickles. I’ve been copying it ever since.

Current owner Rolf Egli (who is from Switzerland) came on board about five years ago when he bought the cafe from the original Swiss owners. Egli started as a customer first, always visiting the cafe when he came to Maui. After taking over he changed the menu a bit, removing the pizza but adding crepes, another Swiss specialty.

“If I am going to do something on the menu I am going to do it right,” Egli said.

“I thought the pizza needed a brick oven, which would never fit in my kitchen. So we got the crepe irons instead, and make authentic and fresh crepes from scratch – savory and sweet.”

Egli’s philosophy is “good food, good mood” and he’s incorporated that into the cafe appearance and menu. The cafe strives to bring the European practice of sitting and enjoying your food. Egli is at his counter taking orders at least six days a week, spreading his Swiss version of the aloha spirit.

“Even if you only buy coffee, you can sit here and enjoy it as long as you like,” he said. “We have a little oasis here. We have a local that comes every morning to get his coffee here, for 17 years! I want to give people the feeling that they are welcome.”

The dining room is outdoors and casual.

Round tables with pink umbrellas provide plenty of shade from the Lahaina heat. The food is served on paper plates with plastic ware – the epitome of comfortable and easygoing. But the food is tasty, and a nice diversion from the usual plate lunch or burgers and dogs.

The crepes are buttery hot and thin – egg and flour wraps that envelope meats, cheeses and vegetables, with breakfast and lunch options. The sweet crepes incorporate whipped cream, fruits, chocolate and ice cream. There are a lot to choose from.

The Maui Special with brie, smoked salmon, tomato and horseradish is delicious. The menu is very vegetarian friendly: the grilled

zucchini, asparagus, tomato and melted cheese sandwich and the caprese ciabatta sandwich are great options for veg heads.

At breakfast you can order smoothies, coffee, omelets, crepes and bagels with a variety of fillings. All crepes come with salad and sour cream, even at breakfast. Some newer off-the-menu items include a fresh baked Swiss fruit quiche, mango bread and hazelnut croissants. The cafe opens at 8am and stays open until 8pm. You can also get Roselani ice cream here in waffle cones, bowls, sugar cones and regular cones. Egli says the most popular flavor is Hawaiian coconut custard haupia.

Another service the Maui Swiss Cafe is well known for is providing an air conditioned business computer lab with Internet access and a printer. Folks can come down and check their email and Facebook pages, or even print boarding passes. They rent notebooks by the day or week, and Wi-Fi is available for $6/hour. They also always have a daily special with lunch, drinks and salad for $7.50.

The Swiss Cafe’s Front Street spot can be a little hard to see but Egli has created his own landmark: Fred Flinstone sitting in a grass skirted golf cart beneath a pink umbrella. Just turn in there next to the motorcycle rentals: there are a few parking stalls right in front for customers.

“We are off of Front Street just enough to be a bit more peaceful,” Egli says. “In Europe people will sit down and have a meal at a cafe and it can take hours. They savor the food, and talk and sip drinks. I want to have that touch here. I welcome people to enjoy their food. It’s made from scratch, and I don’t rush it.” ■

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FOOD&DRINK

FOODIE NEWS

BY JEN RUSSO

I

hope you all took advantage of all the discounted dining deals that the Kamaaina month of September had to offer. Now that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s October, the deals are over but there are lots of events coming up to get our juices flowing.

Oceanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rolls out its new Big Easy menu, rocking it New Orleansstyle: garlicky or Cajuny seafoods like snow and Dungeness crab, shrimp, steamed clams and mussels, plus corn on the cob, potatoes and sausages on the Down and Dirty menu, or sup up the Southern charm in their Southern Fried Classics menu featuring fried oysters, catfish, shrimp and clams.

Find these NOLA greats and Pacifico drafts on Fridays and Saturdays 4 to 10pm. Extra napkins, please!

The Fairmont Kea Lani hosts the 15th annual Noble Chef on Oct. 22. This is Maui Culinary Academyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest fundraiser of the year, which all the foodies flock to. This year the student teams will showcase eight different appetizers at the Oceanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vodka and Youngâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Market cocktail reception, which starts at 5:30. The student teams will be mentored by Vincent DeRosa, Picassoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cafe; Samuel Faggetti, Four Seasons Resort; Ryan Ferguson, TS Restaurants; Lyndon Honda, Maui Brewing Company; James McDonald, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;o, Pacificâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;o and Feast at Lele; Peleg Miron, Spago; Sheldon Simeon, Star Noodle; and Ryan Urig, Ritz Carlton Kapalua. Patrons will vote on their favorite appetizer.

The Noble Chef event raises funds for an endowment supporting culinary education. The dinner menu is by Maui Culinary Academy Chefs Jake Belmonte, Tom Lelli and Kyle Kawakami and will be served at 7pm. The dessert extravaganza is at 8:30pm, and features Celebrity Chef Stanton Ho with Maui Culinary Academy Chefs Teresa Shurilla and Chelsie Higgins. Tickets are still available for $150 per person. Please call Marilyn Fornwall at UH Foundation at (808) 984-3261 for more information.

We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the leaves turning to tell us its autumn, but we do have the Fall Har-

vest Festival at the Haku Baldwin Center.

There will be craft fairs, a farmers market, pony rides, a petting zoo, face painting, a food and bake sale and a keiki costume contest that starts at 9:30am. The event runs Sunday, Oct. 23 from 9am to 3pm at 444 Makawao Ave. Bring the whole family, but no pets, please. Call 572-9129 for more info.

Kim Lutz and the hard working brew crew at Maui Brewing Company deserves a round of applause! (Or should it be shots of whiskey?) Either way, they helped Maui Brewing Co win the Silver Medal at the Great American Beer Festival (GABF) for their La Perouse White. The GABF is the worlds largest commercial beer competition, and Maui Brewing Company was up against 52 other entries in the Belgian style Witbier category. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was ecstatic to hear â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;La Perouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; over the speakers!â&#x20AC;? said Garrett Marrero, owner of Maui Brewing Co. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had, just two days earlier, announced this beer was to be our next limited release for Spring 2012. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m very proud of Kim in her efforts to perfect this lovely representation of Belgian Witbier brewed with local fruit.â&#x20AC;? Also, all of their beer is now brewed by the sun: the production facility recently announced that its solar powering system is complete, and even powers an electric car for business use.

The Maui Brewing Co. will be hosting their second annual Oktoberfest on Saturday, Oct. 29, with all proceeds benefiting the Pacific Cancer Foundation. The event will go from 1-5pm at the Old Lahaina Pump Arena at Waineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;e Park, next to the Aquatic Center. Besides having an incredible beer garden with guest breweries, there will be live music by Glenn Kakagawa, Visibly Shaken and Kulewa, as well as food tents from Donnaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dogs, Iron Imu, Beach Bums, Famous Daveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Outrigger Pizza and Maui Culinary Academy. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only $5 to get in the door. For more info call (808) 661-6205. â&#x2013;

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Got a hot food scoop? Contact Jen Russo at 808-280-3286 or fax to 808-244-0446.

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PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, ERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13 DON’T PUSH ME ‘CAUSE I’M CLOSE TO... - The Edge performs live this Thursday. But any Thursday’s a good night to get footloose and fancy free on Three’s ample dance floor, as the torrent-of-talent Vince Esquire Band regularly headlines.

No cover. 9pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

TAKE A QUIZ - With friends old and new, form a t, team like “The Shake Weight Enthusiasts” or “Suck It, Trebek” and vie for a $50 gift certificate at Mul-n ligan’s Pub Quiz Superfreakout (PS: Like ‘em on Facebook to tune-into insiders’ tips). The only un-e answered question is where tornado Trish “The s Dish” Smith (your hostess with the mostest) gets s all her effervescent energy. Plus, drink specials s and free pupus! No cover. 9:30pm-12am. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea), 874-1131;; mulligansontheblue.com m

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 14 BIDDSCHEEN! - Beer + Buffett + the oompah band Dorfmisikanten = uberrs and authentic Oktoberfest (14 years ’s Garcounting!) at Brigit & Bernard’s urday in den Cafe, every Friday and Saturday October. Call for reservations. No cover.

6pm-close. Brigit & Bernard’s Garden Cafe (335 Hoohana St.,., Kahului); 877-6000 0

A HALT JAM - Legendary blues man Taj Mahal gigs at the Castle d (which Theater, alongside longtime comrades The Hula Blues Band formed in 1981 when Taj Mahal moved to Kaua’i). Sourcing from reggae, sicology calypso, jazz, zy zydeco, gospel and West African folk, his ethnomusicology stu -infused studies lead to pioneering his nonpareil world music-infused sty nner by style of blues. A Lazar Bear Production. Pre-show dinner M Makawao Rodeo General Store. $40 / $50 / $60. 7:30pm.

Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahurg lui); 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15 S HULA COUP - Kulanihako‘i: Living Waters, a new hula drama which draws on millennia-old Hawaiian myths–namely the elemental lake, Kulanihako‘i, from which all life flows. Experience dance, chant and storytelling–as interpreted through a contemporary Native Hawaiian lens–by Na Kinimakalehua, an artistic team comprised of master kumu hula Hokulani Holt, Keali‘i Reichel and Pali Ahue, along with Ulalia Woodside, Kauhilonohonua Padilla and Robert Ke‘ano Ka‘upu.

Pre-show dinner by Alexander’s Famous Fish. $12 / $32 / $40. 7:30 pm. Castle Theater, MACC 42 7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-7469

ON WHICH YOU CAN ELIGH - Eligh of the Living Legeging ends returns, bringing ntry. underground hip hop Upcountry.

Presented and hosted by The Grouch, with DJ Fresh and able Enzyme Dynamite. Tickets available uku). online or at Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku). anova $20 advance / $25 door. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; elighmaui.eventbrite.com e.com

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16 MONSANTO MASH - Concerned about genetically modified organisms? Join the M Millions Against Monsanto Hawaii’s protest vigil, part of global World Food D Day actions in support of the Right2Know food-labeling campaign. 9am. Monsanto (near the intersection of Kanani Rd. & Piilani Hwy., Kihei); millionsagainstmonsanto.org

A-OK - A grand celebration commemorating Willie K’s birthday, opening of his new recording studio (Maui Tribe Records)) and retail store (Uncle Willie’s Kloset), and release of his new album (Warehouse Blues). Enjoy entertainment by Indio & Avi,i, Jesse lues Band.

Tanoue, Napua Makua and–of course–Willie K and The Warehouse Blues Plus, ono grinds (drink specials by Watercress, food specials by Waiehu Suaways and perstop, free ribs first-come, first-serve) plus raffles, KPOA giveaways 0 Waiehu keiki activities. 12-4pm. Waiehu Beach Center parking lot (270 Bea illiek.com Beach Rd., Paukukalo); williek.com

MONDAY, OCTO OCTOBER OB BE E R 17 D-LICIOUS - Order up “The Ali‘i” melt with a D-LIC basket-o-o basket-o-onion rings, and enjoy Grammy winner Peter D D. Make a bad habit out of it (i.e. “not bad meaning bad bad, but bad meaning good,” with my apologies to R Run-D.M.C.) by checking out Peter’s mad skills ever every Monday night. No cover. 7:30-10pm.

Ca Wharf Cinema Center (Front St., Cool Cat Cafe, Lahaina); L 667-0908; coolcatcafe.com

POLLY AND ANNA AND... - An informal, first-time gathering of polyamorous, polyfriendly and polycurious people. “Let’s not call it a potluck,” participants are encouraged to “bring your own whateva to eat, drink [and] stuff to share if you like.”

Further, “drinking, smoking and authenticity are encouraged.” Free. 5-8pm.

Palauea Beach (just south of the Kea Lani Fairmont; “proceed about a mile along the beach past the first group of large homes... walk the few yards through the trees and look for the people [who] engage in consensual nonmonogamy”); maury@mauryonmaui.com

TUESDAY, TUES E S DAY, OCTOBER 1 ES 18 COMICS BUSINESS AND PLEASURE - Celebrating Teen Read Week (Oct. 16-22), Audra Furuichi, co-creator of the webcomic “Nemu Nemu”– joined by Jon J. Murakami, creator of the “Gordon Rider” comic book–conducts a step-by-step hands-on demo of her comic-making process. Geared for teens 14 and older. Free. 2:30pm. Wailuku Public Library (251 S. High St., Wailuku; 243-5766) / 6pm. Kahului Public Library (90 School St., Kahului); 873-3097; librarieshawaii.org

HAPPY TRAILS - With a portion of tonight’s proceeds benefiting Public Access Trails Hawaii (PATH), doing a ra as easy as eatgood deed is literally ing pizza pie.. 6pm 6pm-close. Flatbread Company (89 Hana H Hwy., Paia); 8798989; pathmaui.org

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19 IT’S ALIVE!!! - Though their old Borders haunt is gone, the Maui Live Poets’ Society ain’t dead–they’ve just relocated. Tonight kicks-off a year-round program of poetry readings every third Wednesday of the month, suitable for all ages. Free. 6:30-8pm.

Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 573-8785; librarieshawaii.org

ACCESSIBLE MICHAEL - Every Wednesday is Open Mic oming or Night at Haui’s LAB, where you can catch up-and-coming ng yer tried-and-true acts exercising their chops. Better yet, bring rrive axe and start choppin’ yerself. And for a little inspiration, arrive tylings of early for Rick Glencross’s 4-8pm happy hour set, plus the guitar stylings ach Kentaro Nakamura, 8-9pm. No cover. 9pm-close. Haui’s Life’s A Beach (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); mauibars.com

OCTOBER 13, 2011

17

CALENDAR

RESTAURANT

LIVE MUSIC ON THE NORTHSHORE!

THURSDAY OCTOBER 13th

WAVETRAIN

WITH GRAMMY AWARD NOMINATED

MARK JOHNSTONE & FRIENDS 10PM s NO COVER

FRIDAY OCTOBER 14th

NECTAR COLLECTOR 10PM s $5 COVER

SATURDAY OCTOBER 15th

THE USUAL SUSPECTS 9:30PM s $5 COVER

SUNDAY OCTOBER 16th CHARLEY’S GAMEDAY

NFL SUNDAY TICKET

BREAKFAST & GAMES START AT 7AM BAR OPENS AT 8AM ENJOY OUR NEW BLOODY MARY BAR $5 MIMOSAS & BLOODYS BOOKING INFO: BOOKINGS@CHARLEYSMAUI.COM

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-579-8085

www.charleysmaui.com

Schaefer International Gallery OPEN Wed-Sun 11 am-5 pm

HA:A,¶,·6 AL)5(' 6HAH((1

)A%5,& T2 )A6H,21 12: 2&7

UPCOMING SHOWS The Hula Blues Band with

TAJ MAHAL

)5, 2FW &DVWOH SP World Premier Hula Drama

.ŞLA1,HĆ.2¶, L,9,1* :AT(56

6$7 2FW &DVWOH SP FREE ADMISSION

MA8, ¶8.8L(L( )(6T,9AL 681 2FW 3DYLOLRQ SP North Indian Dance-Music-Theater

6H((TAL *A1'H,·6 %AH8 %(T, %,:,

7+8 2FW &DVWOH SP Box Office: 10 AM - 3M MO1 - SAT

242-SHOW .MauiArts.

7469

WWW

ORG

The Maui Arts & Cultural Center is a 501(c)3 nRnSrRÀt RrJani]atiRn PaGe SRssiEle E\ the JenerRsit\ RI SeRSle ZhR lRYe Maui

18

OCTOBER 13, 2011

Da Kine Calendar

BY ANU YAGI

BIG SHOWS TAJ MAHAL - Fri., Oct. 14. This legendary composer, multi-instrumentalist and vocalist has long been a driving and defining force in late 20th century blues and roots music. But you knew that! See This Week’s Picks for more. $40/$50$/60. 7:30pm.

Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului, 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org OWAILA WITH RABBITT & THE PROPERS - Fri., Oct. 14. Blessed be the Venn diagram of Maui’s music scene. Since half of each band overlaps with the other–i.e. the heavy-hitting Hawaiians of Owaila, and posh powerhouse Rabbitt backed by her suit-wearing Propers–you’re in for two times the audible treats. This show’s sure to have as much ‘splosive chemistry as a high school science lab, so take note from the boys and ensure you arrive wearing grade-A garb. No cover. 10pm. Three’s Bar & Grill, 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com KULANIHAKO’I: LIVING WATERS Sat., Oct. 15. Experience dance, chant and storytelling in this contemporary hula drama which draws on millennia-old Hawaiian myths–namely the elemental lake, Kulanihako’i, from which all life flows. See This Week’s Picks for more. $12 / $32 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org PURE D*ELIGH*T - Sat., Oct. 15. Underground hip hop fans rejoice—Eligh cometh!

See This Week’s Picks for more. Tickets available online or at Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku). $20 advance / $25 door. 10pm.

Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220; elighmaui.eventbrite.com A GRAND CELEBRATION WILLIE K STYLE - Sun., Oct. 16. How does Willie K celebrate his birthday, opening of his new recording studio and retail store and release of his new album? With a big party, of course! See This Week’s Picks for more.

12-4pm. Waiehu Beach Center, 270 Waiehu Beach Rd., Paukukalo; williek.com MAUI ‘UKULELE FESTIVAL: A DELIGHTFUL EVENT FOR THE WHOLE ‘OHANA - Sun., Oct. 16. Renowned ‘ukulele advocate and teacher Roy Sakuma emcees a relaxed afternoon of island music with highly-acclaimed musicians—all celebrating Hawaii’s beloved little string thing.

Performers include Ohta-san, Uncle Richard Ho’opi’i, Na Palapalai, The Hula Honeys and Napua Makua. Food and crafts are available for purchase. Free. 1-6pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

STAGE SEABURY HALL PERFORMING ARTS PRESENTS SHAKESPEARE’S “A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM” - Final Weekend! Fri., Sat. & Sun., Oct.. 7-9 and

14-16. From their pastureland promontory academy, Seabury’s shows are always done in style and in “Midsummer,” these young thespians will roar you as gently as any sucking dove. $11 adults/$9 seniors/$5 students (Sun., Oct. 9 is “pay what you will night”). 7pm. Cooper House Reflection Pond, Seabury Hall, 480 Olinda Rd., Makawao; 572-1257 PROARTS PRESENTS “SYLVIA” - Thu., Fri., Sat. & Sun., Oct. 7 & 8, 13-16 and 2023. A pair of empty-nesters find their new dog’s a bone of contention. 7:30pm Thu.Sat./3pm Sun. $20 adults/$15 students 18-years-old and younger/$15 kama‘aina nights (Oct. 8, 13 & 20). ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center, 1280 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 463-6550; proartspacific.com CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon.-Sat. It’s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mindboggling contortionists. Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kama’aina).

6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 667-4540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com

FOODIE BRIGIT & BERNARD’S 14TH ANNUAL OKTOBERFEST - Maui’s best and most authentic Oktoberfest celebration, every Fri. & Sat. in Oct. Features entertainment by oompah band Dorfmisikanten. Call for reservations. 6-11pm. Brigit & Bernard’s Gardencafe, 335 Hoohana Street, Kahului; 877-6000 FREE VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Tue., Oct 18. See (and sample!) how Chef Devin Kintop uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfasts, and deserts. No registration required. Free.

5:30-6:30pm. Down To Earth, 305 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 877-2661; downtoearth.org LEARN HOW TO GROW YOUR OWN CLEAN, NUTRIENT DENSE FOOD Wed., Oct. 19. Instructor Mike Zelko has been an agriculturist in Hawaii for over 30 years, and this week continues a fiveclass course (Wed., Sept. 28 - Oct. 26) in growing your own food. Mike brings farm humor to each class with his practical and entertaining approach, and this week’s lesson focuses on how to plant for year-round harvest and delicious preparations for your hard-earned produce. Bring your specific questions and have them answered about your land or crop. $20 per class / $30 per couple. 4-6pm. Hali’imaile Community Garden, Aoiki St., Hali’imaile; 270-3123; haliimailegarden.weebly.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS PREVENT SUICIDE MAUI COUNTY TASK FORCE NAME & LOGO CONTEST - Calling all Maui County high school stu-

dents: the Prevent Suicide Maui County Task Force needs your help in creating a new name and designing a logo. The mission of The Force is to prevent suicide by raising awareness, eliminating stigma, and helping those at risk of or affected by suicide. Artwork must be original, not too busy or crowded, created on a white 8 1/2 x 11, unlined paper, contain the student’s contact information and include an artist statement. Winners will receive a gift certificate to Queen Ka’ahumanu Center (1st prize = $250; 2nd prize = $100; 3rd prize = $50).

Deadline for submittals: Oct. 24, 2011 (postmarked by 4:30pm). Mail entries to: Kamehameha Schools Maui, High School Office, Attention: Suicide Prevention Logo, 270 ‘A’apueo Parkway, Pukalani, HI 96768.

For more information, e-mail suicidepreventionmaui@hotmail.com.

SIGN-UP FOR MAUI OPEN STUDIOS 2012 - Wanna show off your cool artistic talents? Do it during Maui Open Studios 2012, an event where artists and artisans open up their exhibition spaces to show and sell their work to the public. Detailed guidebooks are available throughout the duration of the event whereby visitors design their own selfguided tours based on the artists and work that interests them most. Each weekend in Feb. features artists in different areas on Maui—from West, Central and South, North and Upcountry, and East. Want in on the action? The deadline for artists, artisans, advertisers and sponsors to register is Nov. 1, 2011. FREE to the public.415-450-1307; mauiopenstudios.com

TICKETS ON SALE SAVE THE DATE: LAHAINA PLANTATION DAYS - Oct. 20-22. Celebrate West Maui’s plantation roots at the old Pioneer Mill site surrounding the smokestack in Lahaina. Enjoy food booths, keiki activities, a farmers’ market, historic displays and island style music. $3 per-night / $5 threeday pass. Oct. 20: 6:30-9pm. Oct. 21 & 22: 5-10pm. Visit lahainarestoration.org for more information.

SHEETAL GANDHI’S BAHU-BETI-BIWI (DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, DAUGHTER, WIFE) - Thu., Oct. 20. Gandhi’s magnetically rhythmic Bahu-Beti-Biwi wraps North Indian musical traditions into a contemporary exploration that glides between humorous portraiture and active resistance. A combination of evocative dance, stirring vocalization and percussive rhythms make for an outstanding performance. $12 / $25 / $35.

Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org TITA LIMA - Fri., Oct. 21. Experience the sounds and culture of Brazil with singer and composer Tita Lima. Her signature mix of samba-soul and trip-hop will carry you through the night. $35 standard / $45 premium. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 2427469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

OCTOBER 13, 2011

19

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Halloween In Lahaina Monday, October 31

3:30 - Midnight FRONT STREET ROAD CLOSURE: #BLFS UP 1SJTPO 4USFFUT /P 'SPOU 4USFFU 1BSLJOH t Closed to Vehicular Traffic 4 30PM KEIKI COSTUME PARADE S 4:30PM Sponsored db by Soroptimist of West Maui, Rotary Club of Lahaina and Lahaina Sunrise Rotary 6:00-8:45PM Costume Contest Registration: Campbell Park Live Music: Featuring â&#x20AC;&#x153;1810â&#x20AC;?, Food, Keiki Activities, Official â&#x20AC;&#x153;Back on Frontâ&#x20AC;? T-shirt Sales & Face Painting.

7:00-9:00PM Costume Contest On Stage: Banyan Tree Sponsored

by Honu Seafood & Pizza 9:30PM Winners Announced for Costume Contest

4BUVSEBZ 0DUPCFS 1. $BTUMF 5IFBUFS 5*$,&54 4)08

PS XXX .BVJ"SUT PSH

The County of Maui & LahainaTown Action Committee support a fun & safe family event.

Join us on Front St. and respectfully enjoy our historically rich streets.

20

OCTOBER 13, 2011

Support provided by National Museum of the American Indian

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/13

10/14

10/15

10/16

10/17 - 10/19

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-8pm / Nightclub w/ DJ Jamn J 9pm; no cover

Braddah Francis 4-8pm / Nightclub w/ DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J, 10pm; $10

College Football / Rock & Roll Night w/ DJ Diesel Dave, 9pm; no cover

NFL / Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ & DJ Iggy, 10pm; no cover

MON - NFL / Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Terri Garrison, 9pm; no cover / TUE Braddah Francis, 4-7pm / WED - Free Karaoke Night w/ Braddah Francis, 8pm

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old Skool Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph, 10pm

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA, 10pm

MON – Cocktails For A Cause , 8pm ; Sebrina Barron, 9pm / TUE – Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED – Red Carpet Movie Night , 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Dorfmisikanten 6-11pm; no cover

Dorfmisikanten 6-11pm; no cover

Live Music

Live Music

Emergency Room Costume Party w/ DJ Kurt 10pm; $5

The Grouch presents Eligh w/ DJ Fresh & Enzyme Dynamite 10pm; $20/$25

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

BRIGIT & BERNARD’S GARDEN CAFE 355 Hoohana St., Kahului - 877-6000

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

TUE - Maui Tribe presents Willie K and The Warehouse Blues Band, 9pm; $10 / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain feat. Mark Johnstone 10pm; no cover

Nectar Collector 10pm; $5

The Usual Suspects 9:30pm; $5

NFL Sunday Ticket

COOL CAT CAFE

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Jordan & Wolf 10pm; no cover

Off Tomorrow 10pm; no cover

Oktoberfest w/ DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Juke Box Party / TUE - Big John / WED Jessica & Kanoa (all sets 10pm; no cover)

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR

Karoke / Free Pool Night

Karaoke / Darts

College Football / Karaoke & Darts

NFL / Karaoke / Darts

MON - NFL / WED - Go Go Dancers & DJ Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

NFL / Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - NFL / Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Junior Lacuesta WED - Rick Glencross & Open Mic Night

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

MAUI CULINARY ACADEMY’S 15TH ANNUAL NOBLE CHEF “A FOOD AFFAIR” Sat., Oct. 22. A prestigious, mentorship-aligned fundraising gala which highlights the University of Hawaii Maui College’s culinary student and faculty talents. Many of Maui’s celebrity chefs will present a specially created appetizer during the reception, with a student-prepared multicourse sit-down dinner and dessert extravaganza to follow. $150 each / $2,500-$5,000 sponsorship opportunities available. 5:30pm reception / 7pm dinner / 8:30pm dessert extravaganza. Fairmont Kea Lani, 4100 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 984-3261; fornwall@hawaii.edu FOURTH ANNUAL HALLOWBALOO MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL (HONOLULU) - Oct. 27-30. More than 15,000 costumed crazies are showing up for four nights of spirited sounds and masquerade mayhem at Hawaii’s largest live music showcase—will you be one of them? The lineup of over 35 bands, DJs and performance groups include Warpaint, Paper Diamond, Baths, Man Man, The New Mastersounds, Gaudi, Hell Caminos, Mike Love, Kings of Spade, Cherry Blossom Cabaret, and Maui’s own Freeradicals Projekt, DJ Boomshot, and MOTHxp. Enter to win a fly-away vacation (plus view line-up or purchase tickets) by visiting hallowbaloo.com.

MAUI 2011 FOAM MASSACRE - Oct., 2831. Power Up Crew and Boss Lady Entertainment present the first-ever Halloween theme foam party, hosted by Native 92.5’s Chisa and featuring bikini contests, fashion shows, Hawaii Island gogo dancers “The Twins” and Power Up Crew DJs. $15 advance / $20. Fri., Oct. 28: 10pm-close (21+). Oceans Bar & Grill, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., 891-2414... Sat., Oct. 29: 5-9pm (teen rager) / 10pm-close (21+). LuLu’s Kihei, 1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944... Mon., Oct. 31: 10pm-close (21+). LuLu’s Lahaina, Lahaina

Open Mic Night, 7:3010pm; no cover (all ages) Karaoke

Lucky Tonuge 8-11pm Karaoke

Cannery Mall; 661-0808 MOONLIGHT SERIES FEAT. JAKE SHIMABUKURO - Wed., Nov. 2. This ‘ukulele super hero has got faster-than-the speed-of-light chops which have earned him international renown. $30/$45. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org ONE NIGHT ONLY: AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH BRIAN MCKNIGHT - Fri., Nov. 4. Multi-platinum singer-songwriter, arranger, producer and R&B musician Brian McKnight performs live. Brian’s making this a family affair, and is joined by his brother Claude McKnight (of Take 6) and his sons BJ and Niko (aka BRKN ROBTZ). $45 / $55 / $65. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: 3RD ANNUAL HANA LIMU FESTIVAL - Sat., Nov. 5. This festival promotes a deeper understanding of native limu—not only as an ‘ono and nutritious part of the traditional Hawaiian diet, but for its vital importance to the health of the nearshore ecosystem. This fun event features talk story sessions with honored kupuna, limu identification and sampling, limu planting, cooking demos, keiki games, Digital Bus interactive science activities, a silent auction, live music, mean kine grinds and artisan booths. Sponsored by Na Mamo O Mu’olea. Free. 10am-3:30pm. Kapueokahi (Hana Bay), Hana; 269-2514 MAUI MOVIE PREMIERE: TOM VENDETTI’S “WHEN THE MOUNTAIN CALLS” AND A PERFORMANCE OF “IN LOVE WITH THE MYSTERY” BY ANN MORTIFEE AND PAUL HORN - Sat., Nov. 5. Local filmmaker Dr. Tom Vendetti shares his serendipitous story of three decades of traveling to Tibet. From learning of Bhutan’s belief in Gross National Happi-

Karaoke

ness being inextricably tied to ecological and cultural preservation, to interviewing the Dalai Lama, the film is full of snapshots that are sure to inspire. Further, “the father of New Age music” Paul Horn performs, as will his wife, authoress Ann Mortifee, who will also share from her book “In Love With The Mystery.” For more information, visit whenthemontaincalls.com and annmorfitee.comin-love-with-the-mystery. $25.

7-9pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org KAINANI KAHAUNAELE - Sun., Nov. 6. Surrounded by four generations of musical talent, it’s no surprise Kainani Kahaunaele has perfected her gift as a musician—and so much so, she’s a multiple Na Hoku Hanohano Award winner. In this intimate performance, Kahaunaele shares the beautiful sounds that’s made her one of the most notable talents of her generation. $30. 7:30pm.

McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org THE BOUNCING SOULS AND YOUTH BRIGADE - Thu., Nov. 17. Jersey’s The Bouncing Souls and Cali’s Youth Brigade visit Maui for the first time, joined by Maui’s own White Rose and Minor Setback. 7:30pm doors. $20 advance / $25 door. 7:30pm. Oceans Beach Bar & Grill, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-2414 RALPHIE MAY - Sat., Nov. 19. Male comedienne Ralphie May is one of the biggest comics in the country—literally. Of NBC’s “Last Comic Standing” fame, he also recently finished shooting a new movie titled “The Best and Brightest” which also stars Neil Patrick Harris and Amy Sedaris. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org POINT PANIC MUSIC FESTIVAL: FEATURING SUBLIME WITH ROME, PEPPER, IRATION, AND DUB TRIO - Sun., Nov. 20. An

WED - Karaoke

all-ages show! Hawaii’s BAMP Project partners with California’s Guerilla Union to present the Point Panic Music Festival. Featuring the return of Sublime with Rome to the Valley Isle, plus Hawaii’s own Pepper (currently on the Vans Warped Tour) and Iration, as well as—for the first time in Hawaii—the Brooklyn-based band, Dub Trio (which doubles as Matisyahu’s backup). Tickets available through the MACC box office. 3pm doors / 4pm show. $45. 3pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org REO SPEEDWAGON - Sun., Nov. 27. This temples-tautened band of highly peroxided Midwesterners have been rockin’ since 1967.

Beyond their multi-platinum albums, one interesting fact includes their 2009 release of “Find Your Own Way Home,” the “first ‘downloadable casual game’ produced by a rock band.” 7pm doors/8pm show. $65-$85. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org MOONLIGHT SERIES FEAT. MACEO PARKER - Sat., Jan. 14. The one and only Maceo Parker—the funk saxophonist famed for his work with Parliament Funkadelic and James Brown— is coming to Maui. Seriously! I know, awesome, right? $35/$40. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org CAKE - Sat., Feb. 25. When Weird Al Yankovic parodied Cake’s style, his song title “Close, But No Cigar” was apropos. Why? Because no one rocks a vibraslap quite like Cake... Hurry up and get your tickets, lest you’ll be left as high and dry as the rattling-teeth jawbones that inspired the vibraslap itself. PS: Did you get tickets for the show originally scheduled for Oct. 23? No worries beef curries. You can keep you seats or get a refund! Either way, you’ve gotta take your tick-

OCTOBER 13, 2011

21

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/13

10/14

10/15

10/16

10/17 - 10/19

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Tracy Stiles 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - The Chris & Mary Jane Xperiment / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Rick Glencross

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm

Willie K 9-11pm; $5

1810 6:30-8:30pm

Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm

MON through WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - NFL / TUE Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Salsa Night w/ Netto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover

Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny, 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS hosted by Philly Blunt & feat. All Access Ent.’s DJ Money Mike, 10pm; $10

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Phil & Angie Benoit

Tom Conway

Murray Thorne, 7-9pm / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith 9:30pm-12am

Tyler Bush 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Alika 8:30-11:30pm

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm

MON - Lily Meola, 6:30-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Willie K, 7-9pm

mauimusicmecca guest DJ, 10pm; no cover

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

Ibiza w/ DJ Peak 10pm; no cover

NFL

MON - NFL / TUE - Viva La Rumba, 7-9pm / WED - Raveolution, 10pm; $5

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like a Pirate Night

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

SHARKY’S

41 E. Lipa St., Kihei - 874-5115

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

ets to the MACC’s box office. $39/$49/$89.

7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

EVENTS

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13 TURN YOUR CRAFT OR HOBBY INTO A SMALL BUSINESS - Francine M. Fernandez leads a workshop about what steps you need to take in setting up your home-based business.

Learn how to price items to make a profit, where you can sell your items and how to create a marketing plan. Free. 12-1pm. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 873-8247

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 14 OPENING RECEPTION: FEATURED ARTIST MICHI ITAMI - Maui Crafts Guild features print maker and ceramicist Michi Itami, who creates striking prints inspired by nature. Art lovers can meet the artist during her free opening night reception, plus enjoy refreshments and music

by Upcountry Celtic. Free. 6:30-9pm. Maui Crafts Guild, 69 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-9697; mauicraftsguild.com EMERGENCY ROOM COSTUME PARTY W/ DJ KURT - Whether you’ve got too many costume ideas to pick just one, or you’re looking to perfect your ensemble, this pre-Halloween costume party’s the place for you. $5. 10pm.

Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15 22

OCTOBER 13, 2011

SCORE GREAT GOODIES AT MAUI DHARMA CENTER’S ANNUAL YARD SALE - Ah, the yard sale: treasure hunting without the pesky ships and shovels. 8am. Maui Dharma Center, 81 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 333-0636 CARDEN ACADEMY OF MAUI’S 3RD ANNUAL FALL FESTIVAL - Carden’s Pukalani school grounds will transform into a vibrant farmers’ market with fresh local produce and flowers which celebrate the abundant gifts of nature. (PS: don’t miss the pumpkin patch!)

Plus, festivities abound with arts and crafts for keiki (like scarecrow building and jewelry making), face painting, pony rides and live entertainment and ‘ono grinds. Admission of $1 or canned goods will be donated to the Maui Food Bank (as will all remaining farmers’ market produce). 9am-2pm. Carden Academy of Maui, 55 Makaena Pl., Pukalani; 633-1430; cardenacademyofmaui.org FREE ‘UKULELE WORKSHOP - Roy and Kathy Sakuma teach a free ‘ukulele workshop for students of all ages. Lessons are designed for beginning and intermediate players. Students are asked to bring their own ‘ukulele, note paper and pencil. Bonus: enter to win a Kala ‘Ukulele and show off your new skills at tomorrow’s ‘Ukulele Festival (see Big Shows for more). Registration is encouraged but not required. Send an email to ukulele@mauiarts.org or call 242-2787. Free. 10am. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-2787 (ARTS); mauiarts.org 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF BEN FRANKLIN CRAFTS & ACE HARDWARE - A day filled with activities for the whole ‘ohana, including

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm (all no cover) Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae TUE - Open Mic Night

MON - Eat & Place Day Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship

make-it and take-it projects, 60-second showdowns, free craft demonstrations, special celebrity guests and birthday cake! Free. 10am5pm. Ben Franklin Crafts, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; benfranklinhawaii.com 10TH ANNUAL HABITAT FOR HUMANITY MAUI GOLF EXTRAVAGANZA - Habitat for Humanity partners with Tommy Bahama, Mulligan’s on the Blue, and Wailea’s Blue Old Golf Course for their 10th annual benefit tourney.

All funds raised stay on Maui and benefit local families. Festivities include a complimentary VIP pupu party and an on-course lunch by Tommy Bahama, an after-tournament dinner party at Mulligan’s, plus live entertainment and auctions.

12pm shotgun start. $175 per player / $700 for team of four. Mulligan’s on the Blue, 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 242-1140 / 874-1131 PUBLIC PRAYING OF THE ROSARY - On the 94th anniversary of the purported appearance of the Blessed Mother to three shepherd children in Fatima Portugal, over 7,300 communities across the country—Maui included—will “pray to the rosary in order to seek the intercession of Blessed Mother Mary for the many financial, social, moral and spiritual problems we are facing individually and collectively.” For more information, call Joe Gage: 385-0149 or Norm Franco: 357-6676. Free. 12pm. Old MEO Building, Corner of Kane St. & Kaahumanu Ave. (across the street from Maui Beach Hotel) GRIP N’ RIP CHARITY GOLF TOURNAMENT - Join the Marriott for their 4th annual Grip N’ Rip charity golf tournament. Proceeds

support Kapi’olani Children’s Miracle Network and the American Cancer Society. Competitions include pot of gold and longest drive. A complimentary after party with BBQ, beverages, music and great prizes can be enjoyed by participants. Contact the Marriott for more details and to sign up. $125 entry fee. Marriott’s Maui Ocean Club, 100 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina; 667-1200 OPENING RECEPTION: FINE ARTIST MARISELA BRACHO’S “DANCE OF THE ELEMENTS” - Meet Marisela Bracho and enjoy pupus while viewing the artist’s latest painted works. (Exhibition runs Oct. 3 through Nov. 6.)

Free. 6-8pm. Banyan Tree Fine Art Gallery, 648 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-0111; lahaina-arts. com/galleries PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS REMEMBRANCE CEREMONY - Friends and family touched by pregnancy and infant loss are invited to a candle light ceremony to remember their loved ones. Candles and snacks provided. If you would like your child’s name to be read but are unable to attend please email October15thHawaii@gmail.com. Free. 7-8pm. Lawn fronting the Kalana O Maui County Building, 200 S. High Street, Wailuku; 264-3007; ourcherryblossoms.blogspot.com

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16 GOING COASTAL: “GET THE DRIFT AND BAG IT” NORTH SHORE CLEANUP - Join the global effort to remove litter and debris from our coastal environment. All cleanup supplies and data cards are provided for volunteers. Carpooling, walking and bicycling to the event are

Free Pap Smears & Mammograms HAPPY H HA APPY APPY AP Y HO HOU HOUR OUR 3 OUR 3-6PM/LIVE 6P PM M/LIV LIV VE M MUSIC USI US USI SCE EVERY VER VER VE R WEEKEND

THURSDAY 10.13 THURSDAY 10.13

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The Edge 9

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FRIDAY 10.14 FRIDAY 10.14

Owaila and Rabbit and the Propers SATURDAY 10.15 SATURDAY 10.15 10 15

10 PM

THE BLUES SPIRITS

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10 PM

SUNDAY 10.16 SUNDAY 10.16 GINA MARTINELLI BAND 7PM

MONDAY 10.17 MONDAY 10.17

AUDIO HEAD 7PM

WEDNESDAY 10.19 WEDNESDAY 10.19 Blues Night with The House Shakers 7:30PM 808.879.3133 1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G MauiCustomT-Shirts.com

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AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD BURGERS SALADS Live Music Daily Sunset Happy Hour 3-7 Nightly Entertainment

THURSDAY 13 9pm

RAMPAGE

KIHEIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LEGENDARY WEEKLY REGGAE DANCE PARTY

DAT GUYZ KEOLA AND BAND PLAYING ALL THE ISLAND FAVORITES

FRIDAY 14 9pm

SATURDAY 15 JAH RESIDENTZ ROOTS ROCK REGGAE 9pm SUNDAY 16 KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT 8pm

NFL FOOTBALL DAY

MONDAY 17 8pm

KARAOKE

HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!!

JUNIOR LACUESTA

Friday, October 14 Doors: 7:00 Show: 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center Castle Theater ARTIST INFO, VIDEO & TICKETS: LAZARBEAR.COM - CONCERT INFO HOTLINE 808-896-4845

Maui Tickets: MACC Box Office 242-SHOW (7469) or at mauiarts.org

TUESDAY 18

SMOOTH ISLAND MUSIC 9pm $1 TACOS: 5pm - midnight $3 CORONAS, $3 CUERVO SHOTS: All day

OPEN MIC

WEDNESDAY 19 9pm

GET UP & JAM OR WATCH THE RISING STARS

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

OCTOBER 13, 2011

23

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/13

10/14

10/15

10/16

10/17 - 10/19

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

suggested. If you would like to volunteer, suggest a site for litter removal or simply need more information, please contact CWD at 877-2524 or info@cwdhawaii.org. 9am-1pm. Baldwin Beach Park, 877-2524

MONDAY, OCTOBER 17 IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS AND CONSENSUAL NONMONOGOMY... - An informal, first-time gathering of polyamorous, polyfriendly and polycurious people. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 5-8pm. Palauea Beach, Wailea; maury@mauryonmaui.com ACUPUNCTURE & ORIENTAL MEDICINE John Motley, a licensed acupuncturist, discusses the history and modern-day uses of oriental medicine, and provides a hands-on demonstration. Contact the library as soon as possible if a sign language interpreter or other special accommodation is needed. Free. 6:30-7:30pm.

Makawao Public Library, 1159 Makawao Ave., Makawa; 573-8785; librarieshawaii.org

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18 EVALUATING YOUR IDEA - David B. Fisher, principal consultant with Maui Venture Consulting LLC, provides the basic model for analyzing the feasibility of a business, with a special focus on market research and economic analysis. Free.

12-1pm. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului TALK STORY WITH ROB PARSONS - Public Acess Trails Hawaii (PATH) hosts the County’s Environmental Coordinator Rob Parsons (you know, the guy who used to write MauiTime’s Rob Report). Read on for more tasty tidbits...

Free. 4:30pm. Kaunoa Senior Center, 401 Alakapa Pl., Paia; 244-5721 BRENTON KEITH & HIS BAG O’ TRICKS - Amusing and amazing table-side magic by Brenton Keith, perfect for keiki and kupuna alike.

7-8pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 19 RED CARPET MOVIE NIGHT: “SE7EN” (1995) - Two words: free popcorn. Need we say more? OK. We will: Oct. is a thriller-themed month! So mark your calendars for “Silence of the Lambs” on Oct. 26, too. No cover. 7:30pm.

Ambrosia Martini Lounge, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Ki-

24

OCTOBER 13, 2011

NFL BBQ

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night, 10pm-close / TUE - Tennis League Night

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Cane Fire 8:30-11:30pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

Ah Tim

Ahumanu

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Randall Rospond Trio 9pm-1am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

The Edge 9pm

Owaila and Rabbit & The Propers 10pm

The Blues Spirit of Maui 7pm

Gina Martinelli Band 7pm

MON - Audiohead, 7pm / WED - Blues Night w/ House Shakers, 7pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

Next Level Entertainment 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Free Karaoke

MON - Free Karaoke / TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR STEEL HORSE SALOON

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

hei; 891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu., Barefoot Minded; Every Fri. & Sat. Dave Caroll; Every Sun., Erin Smith & Friends; Every Mon., Peter D; Every Tue., Live Jazz; Every Wed., Jordan Cuddy. (All sets 7:30-10pm.) Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908 DA KITCHEN - Mon., Wed., Fri., Sat. & Sun., live music 5:30-10pm. Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 661-4990 DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Duke’s Beach House - Every Mon., Tue. & Wed., Brian 3-5pm; Wed., Alika & Ron 6-8:30pm; Thu., Damien 3-5pm; Thu., Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri., Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri. & Sat., Kulwewa 6-8:30pm; Every Sun. & Sat., Tim 3-5pm; Sun., Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Tue., Alika & Edee 6-8:30pm; Tue., Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Fri., Henry Kapono 5-7pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900 HULA GRILL - Wed., Alika 1:30-3:30pm; Wed., Peter DeAquino 4-6pm; Every Tue. & Wed., Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm; Thu., Alika 11am-1pm; Thu., Ernest Pua’a 1:303:30pm; Every Mon. & Thu., Armadillo 4-6pm; Thu., Kulwewa 6-9pm; Every Mon., Fri. & Sat., Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm; Every Fri. & Sat., 1810 4-6pm; Fri., Kawika, Roy & Ivan 6:309pm; Sat., Wili Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Every Sun. & Tue., Kawika Lum Ho 11am-1pm; Sun., Ron & Ikaika 1:30-3:30pm; Sun., Derick Sebastian Trio 6-9pm; Mon., Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30-9pm; Tue., Jarrett Roback 1:30-3:30pm; Tue., Damon & Danyel Alana 4-6pm; Every Mon., Wed. & Fri., Ernest Pua’a 11am-1pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri., DJ & Friends, Every Sat., JD & Harry; Sun., Merv Oana (all sets 3-5pm).

Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495 LONGHI’S LAHAINA - Every Fri., Fulton Tashombe and The Maui Jazz All Stars 7-10pm.

888 Front St., Lahaina; 667-2288 LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu., Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri., Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; Every Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm.

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / SLAM feat.

David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808 PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu., Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 6613636 R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live jazz. 4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889 SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat., Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon. & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500 VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Fri., Glenn Kakagawa and Sarah Cravalho 5:308:30pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Mon., Cocktails for a Cause (this week benefits the Maui Humane Society) 8pm + Sebrina Barron 9pm; Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen 7pm; Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night [October is thirller month! This week: “Se7en” (1995)] 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 CAPISCHE? - Every Fri. & Sat., Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224 HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu., Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Every Fri., Tue. & Wed, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Every Sat., Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Sun. & Mon., Karaoke 8pm; Every Wed, Open Mic Night 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250 KAI WAIEA - Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf; Fri., Ryan Robinson; Sat., Kanoa; Mon., Tom Conway; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955 LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Netto & Barbara Peraza 8-11pm; Every Fri., Ron & Rob 6:309:30pm; Every Sat., Camp Savage 7:309:30pm; Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm; Every Tue., Ric Scanlan 7-11pm; Every Wed, Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-9944 MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat., Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo

Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon., Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue., Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm.

760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 875-6666 MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Every Thu., Murray Thorne 7-9pm; Fri., Tyler Bush 6:308:30pm; Every Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon., Lily Meola 6:30-8:30pm; Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm; Wed, Willie K 7-9pm.

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith; Every Fri., Randall Rospond; Every Sat., Tom Conway; Every Sun., Viva La Rumba; Every Mon., Kanoa; Every Tue., Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Mark Johnstone. (all sets 4-6pm.)

Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444 STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., AhTim 4-6pm; Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue., Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 7-10pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779 THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun., Gina Martinelli Band 7pm; Every Mon., Audiohead 7pm; Every Wed, Blues Night w/ House Shakers 7pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133 TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu., Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri., Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat., Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun., Ron Shadian & Friends; Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue., Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.) 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Thu., Clay Mortensen 5-8pm.

Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon., Terri Garrison 4-7pm, Open Mic Night with Terri Garrison 9pm; Every Tue., Braddah Francis 4-7pm. Every Wed, Karaoke w/ Braddah Francis 9pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 8779001

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu., Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat., live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:308:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT

BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

FRIDAY OCTOBER 14TH

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS “BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 COVER

EMERGENCY ROOM COSTUME PARTY DJ KURT DUBSTEP-HIP HOP-HOUSE

SATURDAY OCTOBER 15TH THE GROUCH PRESENTS

ELIGH THE GREYCROW ENZYME DYNAMITE WITH

AND

SHOW STARTS @ 10PM + $20 IN ADVANCE + $25 AT THE DOOR PRESALE AT ELIGHMAUI.EVENTBRITE.COM AND REQUESTS MUSIC

TUESDAYS IN OCTOBER

MUSIC STARTS @ 9PM + $10 COVER

MAUI TRIBE PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

WILLIE K + WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

NEW ORLEANS NIGHT EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY 4PM -10PM DOWN N' DIRTY

CHOICE OF: BUTTER, MILD CAJUN, OR RAJUN CAJUN

SNOW CRAB $ MARKET PRICE DUNGENESS CRAB $ MARKET PRICE SHRIMP (SHELL ON) $12.95/LB STEAMED CLAMS $ 12.95/LB STEAMED MUSSELS $ 9.95/LB ADDONS: CORN ON THE COB $1.50/PC POTATOES $2.00/3PCS SAUSAGES $3.00/6PCS GARLIC BREAD $2.50/4PCS

THE WHOLE SHA-BANG $45

1/2 LB OF EACH SEAFOOD ITEM AND ALL THE ADD ONS

SOUTHERN FRIED CLASSICS FRIED OYSTER BASKET FRIED POPCORN SHRIMP BASKET FRIED CLAM STRIP BASKET FRIED CATFISH BASKET

$ 8.95 $ 8.95 $ 8.95 $ 8.95

THE BAYOU $25

COMBINATION OF ALL OF THE SOUTHERN FRIED CLASSICS WITH FRIES

PO BOY SANDWICH $ 12.95

COMBINATION OF FRIED OYSTERS, SHRIMP, CLAM STRIPS, CATFISH SERVED OPEN FACE WITH HOMEMADE COLESLAW

EXTRAS FRESH OYSTERS ON THE 1/2 SHELL OYSTER ROCKERFELLERS CLAM CHOWDER

$ 12.95 1/2 DOZEN $ 14.95 1/2 DOZEN $61 t #08-

PACIFICO DRAFTS $3.00

- %A@=A ,< %A@=A c OCTOBER 13, 2011

25

FILM

Lame As It Sounds The Big Year wastes everyone’s time and money

BY BARRY WURST II

The Big Year

★★★★★

Rated PG/Too Many Minutes

A

ccording to this film and the book it’s based on, the start of the New Year is anticipated by intensely devoted bird watchers, who call themselves “birders,” traveling the globe to spot as many different birds as humanly possible. “Birders” don’t hunt the birds, they stalk them, checking off the types they’ve encountered, then it’s off to the next far reaching location.

Three especially dedicated “birders”, played by Steve Martin, Jack Black and parttime Maui resident Owen Wilson, begin their “big year” fiercely competitive. Only after months of pursuing tweeting, winged wonders together do they start to see one another differently.

This “comedy” about obsessive bird watchers is as lame is it sounds and has no laughs.

One of the main problems is that the material is in no way funny, but fascinating in a way that would be better suited for a drama or documentary. We’re supposed to laugh

when Wilson runs to meet his girlfriend as she undergoes a doctor’s exam but ditches the hospital when he discovers another bird sighting is looming: this is sad, bizarre behavior. The wacky “birders” are portrayed as crazed goofballs who spend enormous amounts of money, isolate Lame birds themselves from their families and spend months trekking to a single location, finding a bird for the sake of completion then running off to the next locale, in a race with no end.

This kind of obsession reminds me of Vegas gamblers who can’t stop betting on a table, because they’re waiting for that Big Win to save them.

While the characters on screen constantly bird watch, the audience plays its own game of Spot The Great Actors Slumming It In Nothing Roles. On hand, to name a few, are Brian Den-

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26

OCTOBER 13, 2011

nehy, Anjelica Huston, Dianne Wiest, Rashida Jones, Rosamund Pike and Kevin Pollack, all completely wasted.

The talent behind the camera is also impressive: director David Frankel also made the hugely entertaining The Devil Wears Prada, screenwriter Howard Franklin wrote and directed one of Bill Murray’s funniest vehicles, Quick Change, and Ben Stiller and Curtis Hanson are among the producers.

Despite all involved, it’s as square as an episode of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, only minus any style or laughs. It’s nice to look at and has a family friendly PG rating but is completely dull.

None of the relationships come across, particularly between the characters played by Martin and Black, who have no chemistry but

share many scenes together. Wilson coasts here as much as his famous co-stars and no one gives a great comic performance.

The point the movie is trying to make is that, indeed, these kooky “birders” are missing out on life, but the message never comes across. The actors and the movie never make us understand the attraction and appeal of “birding.” It’s supposed to be heartfelt to see these kooky people finally grow up, but we never really understand or care why they took up a hobby so costly, time consuming and (once we learn the bird count is not official but based on an honor system) pointless. This is so cornball and forgettable, the title could have been Larry Crowne II. I actually saw the film at an early screening attended mostly by members of an Audubon and Bird Watching Society. They were mostly older adults and bird enthusiasts who really seemed to enjoy it, except for one guy: during a scene where a CGI bird flitters over to Steve Martin in slow motion, a man sitting behind angrily yelled out, “that’s not what they’d do!” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1517f

FILM

Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) 50/50 - R - THU (4:15), 7:10, 9:45. FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:10, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:10, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. MONWED (4:15), 7:10, 9:45.

Abduction - PG13 - THU (4:05), 7:05, 9:35.

The Big Year - PG - FRI (1:20, 4:05), 7:05, 9:35.

SAT-SUN (1:20), 4:05, 7:05, 9:35. MON-WED (4:05), 7:05, 9:35.

Dolphin Tale (2D) - PG - THU (3:45), 6:45, 9:15.

FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (3:45), 6:45, 9:15.

Dream House - R - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

Footloose - PG13 - FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:40.

SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:40. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:40.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) 50/50 - R - THU (12:05, 2:20, 4:35), 7:00, 9:30.

FRI (12:05, 2:20, 4:35), 7:05, 9:20. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:20), 4:35, 7:05, 9:20. MON-WED (12:05, 2:20, 4:35), 7:05, 9:20.

Conan The Barbarian (2D) - R - THU 9:00.

The Contagion - PG13 - THU (12:15, 2:30, 4:55), 7:30, 10:05. FRI (11:40, 1:55, 4:10), 6:35, 9:00. SAT-SUN (11:40, 1:55), 4:10, 6:35, 9:00.

MON-WED (1:55, 4:10), 6:35, 9:00.

Courageous - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 3:55), 6:50, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:05), 3:55, 6:50, 9:45.

MON-WED (1:05, 3:55), 6:50, 9:45.

Crazy, Stupid, Love - PG13 - THU (1:35, 4:25), 7:10, 9:40. FRI (1:10, 4:00), 6:55, 9:40. SATSUN (1:10), 4:00, 6:55, 9:40. MON-WED (1:10, 4:00), 6:55, 9:40.

Drive - R - THU (12:20, 2:45, 5:10), 7:35, 10:00.

FRI (12:20, 2:35, 4:55), 7:35, 10:05. SAT-SUN (12:20, 2:35), 4:55, 7:35, 10:05. MON-WED (12:20, 2:35, 4:55), 7:35, 10:05.

Footloose - PG13 - FRI (11:35, 1:30, 2:10, 4:20, 4:50), 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00. SAT-SUN (11:35,

NEW THIS WEEK THE BIG YEAR - PG - Comedy - Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson star as birding enthusiasts (the flickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Audubon-approved!) on a crosscountry adventure. Need we say more? 100 min.

FOOTLOOSE - PG 13 - Fantasy - Either Kevin Bacon isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t kosher with todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kids or Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s binged-and-purged another toothless remake. Maybe both. 113 min.

THE THING - R - Thriller - Question: Does anything good ever happen to scientists in Antarctica who discover 100,000-year-old alien remains? Answer: Nope. 103 min.

NOW SHOWING 50/50 - R - Comedy - Part sex farce, part tear-jerker, Barry Wurst II says this cancer-as-comedy flick â&#x20AC;&#x153;isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a dour, heavy-handed Disease of the Week TV Movie ordeal [but] a movie funny enough to leave your ribs aching from laughter [while] also potently touching and honest.â&#x20AC;? 99 min.

THE CONTAGION - PG 13 - Thiller - The only thing scarier than a deadly airborne disease that threatens every human on Earth (no worries, a crackerjack CDC team is on the case!) is this filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sky-high payroll.

Starring Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Elliot Gould, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet and Dr. Sanjay Gupta (as himself). 105 min.

COURAGEOUS - PG 13 - Action - Through trial and tribulation, four law enforcement officers fulfill their duty to serve and protect. 95 min.

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE - PG13 - Comedy - Hilarious and heartbreaking, this new Steve Carrell flick is uneven, but touching. 107 min.

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

1:30, 2:10), 4:20, 4:50, 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00.

MON-WED (1:30, 2:10, 4:20, 4:50), 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00.

The Ides of March - R - THU (1:40, 2:15, 4:15, 4:50), 6:45, 7:20, 9:15, 10:10. FRI (11:45, 1:40, 2:15, 4:15, 4:40), 6:45, 7:20, 9:15, 10:10. SATSUN (11:45, 1:40, 2:15), 4:15, 4:40, 6:45, 7:20, 9:15, 10:10. MON-WED (1:40, 2:15, 4:15, 4:40), 6:45, 7:20, 9:15, 10:10.

Killer Elite - R - THU (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

FRI (11:30, 2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. SAT-SUN (11:30, 2:00), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - PG13 - THU (1:50, 4:10), 6:35, 9:05 Spy Kids: All The Time In The World (2D) - PG - THU (12:10, 2:10, 4:20), 6:30.

Warrior - R - THU (12:50, 3:45), 6:40, 9:35. FRI (1:00, 3:50), 6:40, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:50, 6:40, 9:30. MON-WED (1:00, 3:50), 6:40, 9:30.

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Your Number? - R - THU (12:00, 2:25, 5:00), 7:25, 9:55. FRI (12:00, 2:25, 4:45), 7:25, 9:55. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:25), 4:45, 7:25, 9:55.

MON-WED (12:00, 2:25, 4:45), 7:25, 9:55.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) 50/50 - R - THU 1:00, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00.

Dream House - R - FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:50, 8:00, 10:15. SUN 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:50, 8:00. MON-WED 1:15, 3:30, 5:50, 8:00.

Footloose - PG13 - FRI-SAT 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:45. SUN 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00. MONWED 2:00, 4:30, 7:00.

The Ides of March - R - THU 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:20. FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:20, 10:30. SUN 11:15, 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:20. MONWED 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:20.

Moneyball - PG13 - THU 5:00, 8:00.

Real Steel - PG13 - THU 1:45, 4:30, 7:00. FRISAT 11:05, 1:45, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00. SUN 11:05, 1:45, 4:40, 7:20. MON-WED 1:00, 4:05, 7:20.

DOLPHIN TALE - PG - Family - Based on the true story of Winter, a maimed dolphin who gets a progressive prosthetic tail. 128 min.

DREAM HOUSE - PG 13 - Horror - Scary shit ensues in a haunted house. How original! Starring Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts and and Rachel Weisz. 94 min.

DRIVE - R - Action - With such an underrated profession, it makes sense that a stuntman might moonlight as a wheelman. Mad skills are mad skills, after all. But it also makes sense that being complicit in crime might upend said stunt/wheelmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life. Ryan Gosling stars. 100 min.

THE IDES OF MARCH - R - Political Drama Adapted from the 2008 play Farragut North, which is loosly based on Howard Deanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unsuccessful bid for the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination. (If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re having diffculty remembering Dean, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll remind you of the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dean Screamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; media gaffe.

What a hoot!) Directed by George Clooney. Starring Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Marisa Tomei, Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman. 101 min.

KILLER ELITE - R - Action - Jason Statham, Clive Owen and Robert De Niro star in a flick thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to be replete with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;splosions. 106 min.

MONEYBALL - PG 13 - Drama - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Unquestionably, this is one of the great baseball movies, a film for lifelong fans of the sport and even for those who didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know the Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stand for the Oakland Athletics,â&#x20AC;? says Barry Wurst II. 133 min.

REAL STEEL - PG 13 - Action - The artist formerly known as Wolverine makes a shady living in the biz of amateur robot boxing. Barry Wurst II says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;While the film is predictable, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stupid.â&#x20AC;? 128 min.

WARRIOR - PG 13 - Drama - Finally, MMA gets a real movie. Two estranged brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;one a physics teacher, the other an Iraq War veteranâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;are pitted against one another by their former drunk/boxer dad

2011 BEST OF MAUI WINNER Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Your Number? - R - THU 1:15.

BEST AUTO MECHANIC WHAT WE DO IN OUR

KAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;AHUMANU 6 Queen Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Big Year - PG - FRI-SAT 12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:10, 9:25. SUN-WED 12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:10.

Ghostbusters - PG - 7:30.

Dolphin Tale (2D) - PG - THU 1:30, 4:00, 7:00, 9:10. FRI-SAT 2:05, 4:40, 7:05, 9:35. SUN-WED 2:05, 4:40, 7:05.

Dolphin Tale (3D) - PG - THU 11:00. FRI-WED 11:35.

Dream House - R - THU 10:50, 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:35.

The Lion King (3D) - G - THU 10:45, 12:50, 3:00, 5:15.

Moneyball - PG13 - THU 11:05, 1:40, 4:20, 7:05. FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:55, 4:35, 7:15, 9:55.

SUN-WED 11:15, 1:55, 4:35, 7:15.

Real Steel - PG13 - THU 10:45, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00. FRI-SAT 10:45, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45, 10:45. SUN-WED 10:45, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00.

The Thing - R - FRI-SAT 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20, 9:40. SUN-WED 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Killer Elite - R - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:20), 7:05, 9:40. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:20, 7:05, 9:40. MONWED (1:45, 4:20), 7:05, 9:40.

Real Steel - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:50. MONWED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

The Thing - R - FRI (2:00, 4:30), 7:10, 9:45. SATSUN (2:00), 4:30, 7:10, 9:45. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:10, 9:45.

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Your Number? - R - THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:10, 9:45.

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(Nick Nolte). 139 min.

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S YOUR NUMBER? - R - Romantic Comedy - If you assessed your last 20 relationships (as Anna Faris does in this flick), would you wonder if one of them was your one true love-lost? (Our answer: if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got 20 relationships worth assessing, the problem probably isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t with the one that got away.) 106 min.

LAST CHANCE ABDUCTION - PG 13 - Thriller - Team Jacobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s captain (Taylor Lautner) finds his baby picture on a missing persons website. Nutz stuffs (presumably) ensues. 106 min.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN - R - Action - Chee hoo! Conanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a kanaka! Starring very virile Jason Namakaeha Momoa (of Baywatch Hawaii and Stargate: Atlantis fame). 112 min.

THE LION KING - G - Animated - Brainworm lyrics, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba! (Sithi uhm ingonyama!)â&#x20AC;? echo in my head every time I see the sunrise or think of Michael Jackson dangling his baby off a Berlin balcony. This modern Disney classicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reissuance in 3D reminds us how the circle of life moves us allâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;through despair and hope, through faith and...

OK. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll stop. 89 min.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES - PG 13 - Sci Fi - Fear the James Franco, for he is (so hot, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surely) the Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pawn. 105 min.

SPY KIDS: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD PG - Family - This is the fourth franchise installment, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re calling it â&#x20AC;&#x153;4Dâ&#x20AC;? as it includes â&#x20AC;&#x153;aroma-scopeâ&#x20AC;? (ie, another layer of weird smells to add to the usual theater odors of hurricane popcorn and pee). 104 min.

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27

KULA KID

Ode To The Paper Page

BY ANU YAGI

O MAUI M AUI MEDIA M EDIA USERS U SERS G GROUP ROUP PANELISTS

Thursday, October 27, 2011 4:00PM-6:30PM JEFF BENNET @DIGITALSPLASH

Malcom Center

LIZA PIERCE @AMAUIBLOG

Kihei, HI 96753

FREE (Not Catered) *Seating Limited to 30 JEN RUSSO @JENRUSSO ME @MAUITIME

PETER LIU @PETERLIU47

TOMMY RUSSO @TOMMYRUSSO

THE A-TRAIN FRIDAYS 3-9PM K-ROCK 97.3

REGISTER ONLINE AT: hightechmaui.com/programs/workshops.cfm

FRIDAY AFTERNOON IS THE MOST POSITIVE, HOPE FILLED PORTION OF THE WEEK. SO HANG OUT WITH JOHNNY A AND SOAK UP THE GREAT VIBES, THE LAUGHTER, THE FREE STUFF, AND (OF COURSE) THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL EVER CREATED.

28

OCTOBER 13, 2011

h, bouillabaisse brains!

If synapses are anything like spices, it’s no wonder the undead forgo peaceful rest for the zombie buffet line.

So sometimes I wish there was a little latch in the cap of my skull–you know, like one of those basement trap door things you see in movies. If a kind, Kevorkianesque, trepanning witch doctor would slice one open for me, I’d be most grateful.

Then, keeping the hinges well WD-40’d so I could flip the lid with ease, I’d pull out the lot of what’s useless and replace it with stuff like information, unearned wisdom or a small bomb with which to end it all. With regards to the latter, I suppose I’d settle for some sort of release valve (my ears, unfortunately, have not learned the cartoons’ steaming trick–or perhaps are too clogged with wax for the task); or maybe an assistant or five (haha, now I’m really dreaming).

And on that note, before I bury my lead any deeper, I’d like to send a proud (albeit obviously hypocritical) middle finger to social media et alia. Sure, while one hand flips the bird, the other’s still molesting the mouse–but we haven’t much choice, have we? Even my most Luddite-ish friends are on Facebook. A lot.

Yes, I love the impetus of social media.

Yes, I’m a willing accomplice. Yes, I care deeply for the human beings behind it all. But in aggregate, it’s just too bloody much. And though I ache for every bit of information-intake, somehow swimming through a slimy sea of so-and-so-eatinga-sandwich then so-and-so-taking-a-shit makes me care less, do less, want less.

And less is what we get, though not in the ways we want. Everything is faster and dirtier and bitch slap-chopped into fact-less fragments; so much so that even the things that ought to be meaty are relegated to the same processes.

I hate it.

(Mmm. I can hear it already: “Oh my god, how can you say that now? Steve Jobs, like, just died.” OK, sorry. Sort of.

Look, everyone dies–the people we love, the people we hate, the people we pretend to know, the people we’ll never know. Even world-changing rich guys die.

But suffering the sifting of ukubillions of hyperbolic posts about Jobs’s passing makes me want to kick the bucket, too...

Here’s one tweet that turned my stomach: “@chemingineer A little bit died in each one of us today. #SteveJobs” Puh-lease!

Yeah, thanks for the toys and tools, Jobs, but the Blow My Brains Up app is taking too long to download and I’m still wallowing in over-capacity messages.)

But... Ooh! I got an @ reply! Ooh! Soand-so likes my post, ergo they like me! I’m validated! I’m important! I’ll keep posting!

And so I do: @anuheayagi is eating a sandwich and will subsequently...

But seriously, I could use a break.

Ah, enter the paper page. The spoken word. The creak of the stage under step.

I love it. It’s a break (though be it a leg) indeed.

My buddy Michael Pulliam (you know, the guy who writes the theater stuff for The Maui News) has been inviting me to tag along as his plus-one to various events–which works out great for the venue because they get two journos for the price of one.

Last week Thursday we caught “An Evening With Lee Cataluna” at the MACC’s McCoy Studio Theater, and I was gleefully beside myself. Being so enamored certainly has something to do with being a young wahine writer from Maui–and Cataluna’s our small tribe’s finest warrior–but it was more than that.

It was the glorious golden feeling of a hundred human beings–smart phones all shut down–sitting in a black box theater, on a work night, listening to a great (local!) writer read. Being the sappy beast that I can sometimes be, I was moved to tears right from her “Hello, I’m Lee Cataluna” (or whatever it was) introduction.

(Because while I won’t shed a tear for any celebrity death, I’ll readily weep over gorgeous living moments.)

Afterward, Cataluna signed books.

But I must have bought the wrong one because when she signed mine, I think I noticed a small flash of disappointment when she noticed I’d bought He Leo Hou, a compilation of four plays to which she contributed “Da Mayah,” instead of the very (awesome) book she’d spent the evening reading from, Three Years on Doreen’s Sofa. But I bought He Leo Hou because it’s translation and subhed reads “A New Voice: Hawaiian Playwrights”–and that’s exactly what Cataluna exemplifies and inspires in others.

Still, as much as it oft irks me, I’ll keep tweeting and whatever. What can I say, I like the likes. But Cataluna’s reading was a reminder that quality over quantity is what makes a single IRL soapbox preferable to a million little e-ones, and that [bloop!] Oh, excuse me. I just got an @ reply...■

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid

anu@mauitime.com

To share or save: mt.hy.pr/1517k

HOROSCOPE

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

When camping, we should all strive to leave the place better than it was when we arrived, or at least no worse. The same goes for relationships. It may be hard or even impossible to make everything that happens in a relationship positive or beneficial, but striving to make sure the balance, overall, makes the other person’s life richer and happier, will at least set you both on the right path. There are no guarantees in life, particularly in matters of love, but trying to do right by people in this way will make, if not happy endings, at least happier endings, for all concerned.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

It’d be stupid not to close and lock your front door, right? I’m not so sure. After all, anyone determined enough to get in will hardly be thwarted by a mere lock, which would likely stop only the most casual troublemaker. Your emotional defensive measures are equally ineffective. You could, of course, simply dramatically step up security. However, I’d argue that toning things down would actually make you happier and less stressed.

Leave your front door open sometimes, at least metaphorically; you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much more good stuff than bad enters your life as a result.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7

1: C. National Coming Out Day 2: A. Royal Lahaina 3: F. All of the above.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Even though, to all our senses, matter feels perfectly solid, science demonstrates that it is, in fact, composed of mostly empty space.

Despite that this goes counter to our own experiences, it’s still true.

Similarly, the scenario before you, as improbable as it may seem, is just as verifiably accurate as the emptiness inside your average molecule. Accept the facts. Trusting your gut is all well and good, usually, but this case is as airtight as it gets—your instincts are misguided and wrong this time. Being determined to heed them anyway will only result in seriously painful (and potentially humiliating) lessons. Since they’re perfectly avoidably, simply by recognizing the proof in front of you, don’t force yourself to suffer through them.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

You couldn’t pay me to jump out of a plane. That’s just not a thrill I’d enjoy, so it’d take preposterous amounts of money to get me to suffer through it. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m not as into certain risks as other very brave people I know. However, I’m confident that the wildest veteran skydiver would similarly balk if asked to take some of the risks I’ve cheerfully embraced. We all get our kicks in different ways. Even if you’re convinced someone else would enjoy yours, don’t force the issue. If they say they’re not up for it, back the hell off.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Kids who grow up with creative toys like art supplies, play dough, or building blocks, are probably more likely to be imaginative, resourceful, and inventive than those who mostly play with video games and action figures, where most of the imagination and story have been provided by someone else. Adults are the same way. How you experience the world largely depends on which toys you’re willing to play with. What’s filling your sandbox these days? How are you spending your time? How often, in the past week, did you actually exercise your imagination? It might be getting flabby. Get it some exercise, already.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Unfortunately, there’s no insurance plan to cover your emotions.

Wouldn’t you be more likely to take emotional risks if you knew you’d get a big payout the next time your heart got broken?

Of course, that’s never going to happen—since most relationships end in heartbreak, such a plan would swiftly bankrupt the company who offered it. However, I’d argue that every broken heart can yield a massive payoff, albeit in the form of wisdom, compassion, and self-knowledge, provided you’re determined to gain these things (rather than bitterness and cynicism). Looking at it that way makes it a teensy bit easier to take that next risk, doesn’t it?

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Use the right tools for the job. Sure, scrubbing your floors by a hand with a dish sponge might eventually make them reasonably clean, but you’ll be sore, annoyed and bored, for no good reason.

Since a mop and bucket will do the same job in a fraction of the time, with less effort, use them. Don’t let stubbornness or unrealistic idealism eat up your time and energy this way. There’s a way to get the job done quickly and easily, so you can move on to stuff that’s more fun and satisfying; all that’s necessary is for you to be humble and open-minded enough to employ it.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Imagine you ask an architect to design your dream home. She comes up with two perfectly wonderful possibilities: The first option features one or two massive pillars supporting the structure, while the second utilizes dozens of slender columns. This, my dear, is an apt metaphor for your social life. Relying on just a couple solid friends for your emotional needs is perfectly viable, but so is cultivating a wider and more varied social circle. Either way will work, of course. As you decide which you’d prefer, please remember: turnabout’s fair play. That is, it’s completely fair for any of your friends to request of you exactly what you demand of them—and get upset if you don’t deliver.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Opposites may attract, but I’m more likely to believe that two like-minded people with a lot in common will be more easily able to make a go of things over the long-term. However, there’s no denying the magnetic pull of someone fascinatingly different from you, and no reason not to believe that something sustainable and real is possible despite your differences. Rainbows, after all, only result as a combination of sun and storm. Finding the right mix for you two to produce similarly colorful and pleasant results will require some patience and experimentation—but it’s there to be found, if you’re both determined enough to seek it out.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Stop imagining monsters where there are none. I can just picture you, house hunting, finding something close to the “perfect” place, but rejecting it because you’re certain there’s something profoundly wrong with it—despite an utter lack of evidence. Maybe you’re right; maybe nothing can be this good.

That doesn’t mean the heretofore-undiscovered flaws involve malicious poltergeists, neighborhood gang warfare, or carcinogenic mold. Stop being so suspicious; of course, if you’re determined to find them, there are problems here—but they’re nowhere near as awful as you imagine.

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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

I absolutely adore your willingness to stir up shit when necessary, and call people out (hopefully when it’ll do some good). However, there are times when your well-intentioned troublemaking and vocal bullshit identification will not accomplish anything close to what you intend, and are actually more likely to make matters worse, and make people mad at you, besides. Knowing when to shut up and sit tight is an important part of your personal evolution. Of course, this week’s a freebie. Bite your tongue and wait things out. It shouldn’t be too hard—but it’ll be good practice for the times when it’s truly a challenge.

GRAND OPENING G

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

An experienced musician could tell you amazing things about a piece of music that you’d be unlikely to notice or understand. A bloodhound’s nose would tell him things about what had happened in a place that your senses would never reveal. Accept that you’re limited by the nature of your perceptions, as well as your own training and experiences, and that people around you have insights into the situation that are more or less imperceptible to you. Being willing to simply take them at their word will spare you a lot of time and suffering. I hope you’re willing to do so.

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