15.03 Come Shell Or High Water, July 7, 2011, Volume 15, Issue 3, MauiTime

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COME SHELL OR HIGH WATER Maui Malacologist Mike Severns loves seashells so much he wrote the most definitive book ever on them.

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Contents VOLUME 15

✚

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What do you collect?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Pictures of presidents Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Hoarders Anonymous membership cards Proofreader: Dina Wilson Intern: Anna Such, Keo Eaton Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Ben Lowenthal, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com New job pay stubs Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Dead things

ISSUE 03

5 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless wonders if this is the end of Officer Taguma’s meter maid days. Quizunderstood asks about new laws. We get love and hate in Reader Feedback. Eh Brah! just wants her to get it together. The Lahaina Library gets some love in the MauiSphere. Then we find out about the terror of lost guns.

Plus Overheard and Tweet of the Week!

10 FEATURE STORY Maui malacologist Mike Severns loves land and seashells. So much so that he wrote the most definitive book ever on them. Anu Yagi tells the tale.

13 FOOD & DRINK Jen Russo says China Boat in Kahana is a magical place, then finds Da Office in Pau Hana. Plus Foodie News!

17 A&E

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Bottles of booze

Anu Yagi finds the magic of Kupanaha at the KBH. Then Ben Lowenthal scores The Arctic Monkeys.

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Debt

18 FILM CRITIQUE

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown

Barry Wurst II says Transformers 3 is a wreck of bad robots.

Web Design: Linear Publishing

19 Film Capsules/Listings

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Gadgets

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.

Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS There’s a monthly wine party at I’o, the UNITY Summer Electronic Music Massive at The Underground, Citrus College music at the Hyatt and a Poi Dog at the Schaeffer Gallery.

22 Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid

28 BACK PAGES Kula Kid has an Oahu adventure. Sign Language wants Cancer to live their lives.

30 Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

ON THE COVER: Design by Chris Skiles

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JULY 7, 2011

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BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

NEWS&VIEWS

anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro on Twitter

Coconut Wireless

NEWS BRIEFS

WASTE NOT, SUE NOT Even after two years away from Maui, I’m pleasantly surprised to see so much of the island virtually unchanged. Paia retains its quaint feel, Haleakala still looks gorgeous in the early morning air and environmentalists are still battling the Lahaina Wastewater Reclamation Facility. I can remember talking to locals expressing their disbelief that developers would build (much less sell) the Honua Kai timeshares across the street from this often rank sewage treatment plant, but hey—the joke was on us.

Anyway, the latest volley is a formal notice filed last week from Earthjustice, a nonprofit environmental law firm. According to the firm, a coalition of environmental and community groups will sue the County of Maui over its alleged “ongoing violations of the Clean Water Act” at the West Maui sewage treatment plant.

“The County’s facility injects millions of gallons of wastewater every day into the ground water,” stated a June 29 Earthjustice press release. “Although the water is treated at the facility, it still contains bacteria, chemicals and other pollutants when it is pumped into the ground. The County has known for many years, and scientific studies have shown, that this wastewater flows through the ground water into Maui’s nearshore waters, where it degrades the water quality, presents health risks, and promotes algae blooms.”

According to the Earthjustice, these pollutants and algae blooms are killing West Maui coral reefs and seriously harming water quality. They also say the county “has never obtained” a National Pollutant Discharge Elimination System (NPDES) permit that is required by the federal government and would govern waste discharges.

“By providing the County with notice of our intent to sue, we are telling Maui County how urgent it is that they stop these illegal discharges,” said Hannah Bernard, president of the Hawaii Wildlife Fund, in the Earthjustice press statement.

Since words like “illegal” and “lawsuit” pepper the statement, I figured it wouldn’t be long before the county responded.

“The County of Maui operates its Lahaina Wastewater Reclamation Facility under permits from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (‘EPA’) and the State of Hawaii’s Department of Health (‘DOH’),” read the county’s statement, sent out five hours after the Earthjustice notice. The really fascinating thing about the county’s response is that while officials admit that waste discharges are ongoing (they insist the cause of algae blooms is still unknown), they say the Fed is perfectly fine with it. Or at least, they are for the moment.

“Part of this cooperative process between the County, the EPA, and DOH includes scientific tracer and seep studies

4

JULY 7, 2011

Oh, Taguma. Ever the shy, modest type.

to determine whether a National Pollutant Discharge Elimination System (‘NPDES’) permit is needed for the Lahaina facility,” says the county statement, which came from Ryan Piros, assistant communications director for the county. “Until those studies are complete, any talk of alleged violations is premature at best.”

So there you have it. And by “it,” I mean “nothing conclusive whatsoever.”

The county says they’ve started the NDPES permit application process, and Earthjustice says they’re suing in 60 days. Everyone wins!

ALOHA OFFICER TAGUMA? Just about everyone who has to park his or her vehicle in Wailuku Town knows of Maui Police Officer Keith Taguma.

He’s easy to spot, wearing a helmet and motoring around town in his souped up MPD golf cart while patrolling two-hour spots, chalking tires and writing thousands of parking tickets. Seriously, he must go through parking ticket pads like the rest of us consume oxygen molecules.

Taguma is a cool, calculating, Tagu parking parki infraction-writing

TWEET of the WEEK “Today I got a check for over $1300 for more or less doing nothing. Which is the best reason for getting money.”

-@Rost77 (Wailuku attorney Richard B. Rost), June 30

machine--our island's super meter maid.

But a new Maui Redevelopment Agency study says he’s also obsolete.

According to Downtown Parking & Planning Associates’ May 2011 study Parking Management Plan Analysis, the county should replace all free 12-hour parking spaces in town with paid parking.

The firm also recommends installing parking meters along the street, and hiring proper, dedicated meter maids to patrol them.

That’s right folks—Taguma would get reassigned to regular patrol duties.

The biggest reason for such a drastic recommendation: Wailuku Town should have 3,491 parking spaces, but only currently provides a paltry 2,743 (also, a slew of parking meters would generate something like $395,760 in county revenue).

“Downtown parking is problematic and a barrier to the economic health to downtown,” said a study focus group, according to the July 4 Maui News. “Parking needs to be improved through increased supply and better management.”

Of course, taking Taguma off parking patrol is just a small part of what will have to be a very large plan to deal with parking demand in Wailuku Town. The current 748-parking space deficit in town, for instance, is nearly twice the number of spaces provided by the proposed municipal parking garage that would hold five levels and sit between Main, Market, Church and Vineyard streets (that garage is slated to hold 418 cars). ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1503c

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 1. Which of the following bills did Governor Neil Abercrombie NOT sign into law this last week?

A. HB 97, expanding the definition of “quality assurance committee” to include interdisciplinary quality assurance committees of members from various health care organizations.

B. SB 892, ensuring that people can bring service dogs into certain situations, such as real estate transactions.

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D. SB 219, prohibiting law enforcement officers from physically restraining inmates who are pregnant or in postpartum recovery, “unless extraordinary circumstances exist.”

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B. He will concentrate on getting himself reelected to the state Senate.

C. He is deferring to probable Republican Senate candidate Linda Lingle.

D. Republicans don’t trust him because he left the GOP in 2007 and Democrats don’t trust him because used to be a Republican.

E. Recent poll numbers indicated that the Hawaiian Punch guy has a better chance of getting elected to national office than he does.

F. All of the above.

G. A and B only.

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See answers, page 29

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com +

EH BRAH!

READER FEEDBACK HATES SIGN LANGUAGE I LOVE your mag. Mahalo nui loa for providing Maui with a really entertaining newspaper. I Love the articles, especially eh brah, and the entertainment schedules and reviews...

One thing, though... I am not a complainer. I rarely write or say anything critical. That said, I have been wanting to say this for a while now. Horoscopes can be a lot of fun in a mag like this, but this person, Caeriel Crestin (Sign Language), seems to be illiterate, on crack, a very bad astrologer, or maybe some combination of the above. His work is both unintelligible AND boring... to give him credit, not an easy set of qualities to combine...

If I may make a suggestion as a reader, why not advertise for someone new for this position? Maui has a number of excellent astrologers who might be able to make this feature a smash hit... some of the syndicated ones are amazing, but I think we’ve got the homegrown talent...

Just one person’s opinion, but it’s disappointing to see the level of your excellent mag dragged down every week by this far less than competent feature.

Mahalo to everyone else for the good stuff - keep it coming !

Aloha noe, -Clarissa Fraser, via email

HATES SCHOOLGIRL CRUSHES `Ano `ai Anu san, I’m definitely a big fan of your writing.

You might remember in the past I have

given you some grief for Hawaiian and Maori words spelling and meanings.

Notwithstanding that, you are a gifted writer and can turn a very decent phrase.

You are insightful and entertaining and I know you work hard at your craft.

At first blush I thought that “Gazing at Garrett Hedlund” (June 23, 2011) must be some tongue-in-cheek satirical take on the shallowness of Hollywood adoration. Upon further reading it seems to be a schoolgirl crush of gushing infatuation of yours with some neophyte actor with who you are obviously head over heels.

What a great missed opportunity to highlight Kerouac’s book and upcoming film through Hedlund’s character. We don’t care about an actor’s personal life, we care about their ability to transform into a compelling role. What a huge disappointment. To be fair, you have raised the bar so high that we have come to expect brilliance from you in escalating scale.

I was encouraged though to read that this young actor has no desire to be on Facebook or Twitter. Although I think social media may have a place in society both of these commercial entities are an embarrassment and only contribute to useless discourse and the dumbing down of world society. I’m sure that you can disagree with me on this point.

So come on now Anuhea, rainbows and puppydogs make for easy writing but what the world needs now (esp Maui) are progressive journalists who are unafraid to break with the status quo.

-Kai Lokahi, Waiakoa

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

Are you kidding me? I come home from work to find our sink exploded with dishes and the smell of rotting food throughout the house. Get your lazy ass up and clean!

But that’s nothing—why were your pee-soaked shorts lying in front of the toilet? Wait, I don’t want to know. And please stop asking me to get you ice cubes when it takes less than five steps for you to get to the fridge. You’re not disabled or handicapped. You can walk and cook just fine, though all you do is sleep, eat and watch TV. When was the last time you showered? More importantly, when are you going to grow up? Seriously, my grandma took better care of herself when she was 90. You are a grown woman—get it together! ■

Sendyo ur FEEDBACK to the editor via e-mail (editor@mauitime.com), or post (Editor’s Inbox, MauiTime, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793), or check us out on Twitter (twitter.com/mauitime) and Facebook (facebook.com/mauitime).

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

Overheard “Oh, you used StopLeak?

Well, if you used Stopleak, then that’s possibly why we can’t find a leak in the tire.”

-Mechanic in Kihei on the phone to a customer, July 5

JULY 7, 2011

7

NEWS&VIEWS

BEST OF

MAUISPHERE SAVOR THE SUNSET

MAUI We’re upping the ante yet again on our biggest issue of the year, the 2011 Best of Maui, and bringing it to you in a whole new innovative, interactive way! We don’t want to let the cat out of the bag just yet—but be prepared for a radically new approach to reading newsprint. This is our most popular edition of the year, and readers are eagerly awaiting the results from this year’s Best of Maui poll. Combine this with the excitement of Hawaii’s first interactive issue and you’ve got the biggest hit of the summer!

The 55-year-old Lahaina Library needs improvements and with the State of Hawaii strapped for cash, help is coming from the Maui community, as well as Citrus College in Southern California. The Lahaina Rotary Club has spearheaded the improvement movement along with assistance from Maui Friends of the Library and sponsorship from the Royal Lahaina Resort, targeting an annual fundraiser called “Savor the Sunset” to raise the needed monies.

Call today for space reservations and details on how to make your ad an INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCE!

SNAP A PHOTO OF THIS QR CODE WITH YOUR SMART PHONE FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

DEADLINE: JULY 8TH PUBLISHES: JULY 14TH To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

THE FUTURE OF NEWSPRINT IS ALMOST HERE.

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

The goal is $20,000 for this second phase of the facelift. This includes plans drawn up and donated by Rich Cowan of Archipelago Maui that lower the book shelves, which will promote a more natural air flow. There will also be new flooring and a new circulation desk. The plan is to have both the front and back doors of the building open during the day.

Last year’s first "Savor the Sunset" event raised $5,000 that went to new furniture for the library. Other improvements to date are a new $25,000 self-checkout system donated by Maui Friends of the Library, and a $50,000 grant from North Beach Association for two new security systems.

“The State of Hawaii is thrilled,” says Sara Foley, Rotary’s renovation committee co-chair. “They have done their part in updating the computers at the library last month, and I hear wifi service is next. We are hoping we can get the labor donated for the phase II improvements. All of the cost is for materials.” Improvements are planned to go in during July 2012.

This year’s Second Annual “Savor the

Sunset” event will feature entertainment by the Citrus College band Night Shift, a pop rock ensemble that will be visiting and playing at the Hyatt Maui through July 23. Guests can also enjoy pupus from the Royal Lahaina and wines from Better Brands on the beautiful lawns of the Royal Lahaina Resort. Tickets are $35 and you can reserve and purchase them at 5A Rent-A-Space (669-5200) or the Royal Lahaina Resort (661-3611 x2348).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAUI THING Maui Thing is another year older and a bit wiser. The small retail shop located on Market Street is known for its organic feelgood designs done locally as well as its iconic octopus logo. Saedene Ota from Sae Design wanted her Maui Thing brand to transcend the beach culture island-wear with positive, environmentally friendly, earthconscious designs. Their graphics-driven silkscreened knits are sized for men, women and children and show off messages like “stuck on good” in tanks, tees, dresses and hoodies.

Maui Thing started out on Market Street and from the beginning has embraced the First Friday celebrations, procuring and setting up a stage, food booths and fun during the block party celebrations in front of their store. This past First Friday (July 1) they honored their third anniversary with a fashion show of their new collection and a free concert by Willie K. “As a small business we rely on our neighbors, constituents, partnerships, trade and crosspromotions,” says Ota. “My proudest moment is ‘us’ working together for a greater cause.”

The Maui Thing brand says their biggest challenge is fabrication and shipping, and finding local manufacturers. “It’s like finding a needle in a haystack, and sometimes we don’t even have the haystack,” she said. The fact is that Hawaii is simply not a source for the garment industry. But their niche and direction remain the same, and they continue to define their brand as staying true to their local customers. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1503m

PHOTO BY TONY NOVAK-CLIFFORD

8

JULY 7, 2011

BY MICK E. FINN

NEWS&VIEWS

editor@mauitime.com

Lost Guns HUMOR

I

n late May Honolulu Civil Beat reported that Hawaii is one of the 43 states in the U.S. that does not require gun owners to file an official report in the event that they lose a firearm. The idea behind such laws is to make gun owners more accountable in the event they lose a weapon that eventually finds its way into the hands of a criminal or, heaven forbid, a child. To find out more, we recently spoke with Tom Westfield, the executive director of Gun Owners For Education and Responsibility (GOFER), a Dallas-based firearms advocacy group that has been outspoken on the issue.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY: Thank you very much, Mr. Wakefield, for speaking to us today on this rather, well, explosive subject, if you’ll pardon a slight pun.

TOM WESTFIELD: Think nothing of it.

Fire away.

Um, yeah. Does your organization support state laws requiring gun owners to report lost firearms to police or some other law enforcement agency?

Oh sure, absolutely. Hell, we’re for one federal law requiring notification. In fact, we think the laws currently on the books don’t go nearly far enough.

TIME!

big a deal lost guns can be. Think about this little number: every year, something like half a million guns are stolen out of households every year. Half a million!

Yes, I read that in the Honolulu Civil Beat story. It’s a terrifying number.

Damn straight. That’s why our organization wants no expense spared in locating these lost guns. Mandatory reporting to law enforcement is fine, but that’s only a start.

Yes, that was actually going to be my next question. I noticed on your organization’s website a number of well, to be honest, unorthodox ideas on how to curb the problem of lost guns.

Well, I’m not sure they’re unorthodox, unless you think George Washington was unorthodox for taking up arms against the Redcoats, or Abraham Lincoln was unorthodox for wanting to preserve the union. Our board of directors has been working on this issue for some time, and these ideas represent what we feel is a solid, pro-active approach to solving the problem of lost guns.

Yes, I understand that, but milk cartons?

Oh yeah! What’s better to get the word out than by using milk cartons? Look at all those little kids that got lost or kidnapped or whatever and police found them because someone saw their picture on a milk carton.

If it worked for kids, why not guns, too?

Of course. But are you saying this would be the same thing, except for lost guns?

Absolutely.

And this, what is this – a “chrome alert?”

So your organization is saying the local media should put out some sort of “alert” – and yes, I’m putting quotation marks around that word – every time a person’s gun goes missing?

Well, you’ve heard of an Amber Alert, right?

Do you have any idea how traumatic an

Really?

Oh yeah. This is a deadly serious issue, and even now most people have no idea how

Where the media and highway billboards and such put out the word on a kidnapped child?

event this can be for the gun? To be safe and secure in their owner’s home one minute, and then next thrust out into a dark, scary world of crime and poverty? I challenge you to pick up a firearm and hold it close to your ear. Caress its barrel and chamber – let it know you mean it no harm – and just listen to it. I mean really listen to what it says -

Wait – you talk to your guns?

Um, is that a problem? ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1503u

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9

COME SHELL OR HIGH WATER Maui Malacologist Mike Severns loves seashells so much he wrote the most definitive book ever on them.

BY

ANU YAGI

O

ur curious and comely archipelago— which Mark Twain penned as “the loveliest fleet of islands anchored in any ocean”—assumes a lonely mooring. The most isolated island chain on Earth, over 30 million years of Goldilocks evolution, the Hawaiian Islands’ extreme conditions yielded unrivaled diversity.

“Essentially, you’d have to go to another planet to find this kind of endemism,” says malacologist Mike Severns, a renowned discoverer and sought-after explorer (he’s got a bird, a land crab, two seashells, a fish and a seahorse named for him).

His uncommon shelled-mollusks specialty—and in such an uncommon place—means he’s privy to an alien world of strange, conical creatures. Severns recently authored Shells of the Hawaiian Islands— released this May from German publishing company ConchBooks—with the help of more than 100 expert contributors from 21 countries. It’s an unprecedented two-volume opus chronicling the Hawaiian Islands’ “verifiable species and their described variants” of both sea and land shells.

“Because the Hawaiian Islands are so

10 JULY 7, 2011

isolated, it’s the first time ever that such a geographically isolated fauna—and everything we know about it—has been put into one book,” Severns says. He says not only is Hawaii’s uniqueness what lent to the origin of these species themselves, but it’s the very thing that allowed for such an autonomous work’s creation.

How marine life made it to our secluded quicksilver seas is no secret, but the arrival of terrestrial snails is more mercurial. Severns explains how animals were likely caught highup in jet streams, stuck on debris or wings, and every few millenium made miraculous landings on little bits of land below.

“It all starts from one individual—not a species. One individual from a species arrives in Hawaii and is successful. From there, everything goes,” says Severns with a swift, whistling onomatopoeia; gesturing the trajectory of the tenacity of life.

A scientists’ scientist, Severns is a brash delight. Effortlessly erudite and touched with a Richard Dawkins-esque irreverence, during our interview he pads about his immaculate South Maui home, spouting anecdotal explanation of artifacts in his collection (a piece of the Earth’s mantel from Hualalai; the skull of a previously unnamed bird now named for him), and points out some of the (literally) thousands of neat things in his new book.

“Look at this,” he says on repeat—neither too-eagerly willing nor overweening (when he easily could be)—and rattles off scientific names amidst the details of an international expedition, dashed with a cursory curse word or two. His manner is at once old school scientific haute and modern candidity.

The volumes of his book are available separately or as a set (in a solid-clip case to highlight the spine’s seamless design), featuring full-color high resolution plates grouped by family. The 562-page The Sea Shells volume features 2,828 images on 225 plates, representing 1,333 described marine species in 146 families.

Meanwhile the 459-page The Land Shells volume boasts a staggering 3,117 images on 186 plates—with 363 distribution maps noting terrestrial habitat—of 749 species (“that’s more species than are found on North America”).

“Essentially, if you find a snail in Hawaii that is not in this book, it’s either introduced or it’s an undescribed species—and you can still find undescribed species of Hawaiian snails,” says Severns. “I know of about 250 (species) in museums that are not described.

So, this is about three quarters of the existing known fauna in Hawaii.”

But the description process is a long an arduous one (more on that later), and though the “inventory is far from

saturated,” Severns says, “the goal of this book is to make a bookmark in time—a snapshot... an attempt to put it all together for the first time with everything we knew.”

The book begins on Jan. 20, 1778, “the date when science began in the Hawaiian Islands; when the first specimens were collected.” (The Land Shells contains a photo of the first lei specimen ever collected from the Hawaiian Islands; a “very important artifact” that, until Severns’s book, was misidentified as being of Tongan origin. Also, The Sea Shells has a photo of the first Niihau shell lei, collected by Cook and comrades at that time, which examples the natives’ pre-contact stringing style.)

Traveling through time, the book “goes right up to December 18, 2010,” where Severns says he “drew the line... Because at that point we weren’t getting any new information or material.”

Severns’s book is the culmination “of more than three decades of research” and four and a half painstaking years of writing and coordinating work from contributing scientists the world over.

“It was a huge effort,” he says. “We went to authorities all over the world, and you have to acquiesce to these people... What was interesting is the number of languages that were spoken in the creation of this book. A lot of people were writing in their

second language... I had to translate that, basically, without losing the content.”

Severns calls it “his life’s contribution,” and a “century book”—meaning researchers need not make a similarly comprehensive study for another 100 years.

Prior to Severns’s undertaking, there had been but one comparable source— an all-illustrated, black-and-white book

by University of Hawaii professor Dr. Alison Kay called Hawaiian Marine Shells, produced by the Bishop Museum in 1979.

“It was very difficult to identify a lot of the material in it,” says Severns, noting the limited technology and resources of the time.

“She was a briliiant malacologist, but she did not have access to what we have today.”

It was Kay’s book, in part, that lead him to produce a small seashell guide for tourists. After contacting Washington D.C.’s Smithsonian Institution to further his project and “make this thing a little more substantial,” Severns says that the idea for Shells of the Hawaiian Islands came at the behest of Dr. Jerry Harasewych, curator of the Department of Invertebrate Zoology at the National Museum of Natural History.

“I could see it in my mind,” he says. “It was something I was very familiar with. I thought, ‘I can see this. I can do this.’ But I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

One thing that [Kay] did—that I did not

do—is that she essentially tried to become an expert in all of the [146 marine] families. It was just way beyond one person’s scope.”

Instead, he solicited expertise from around the globe and his travels took him likewise.

Don Hemmes of the University of Hawaii at Hilo was “one of the first people to jump on this book and make it happen,” says Severns. “Getting permission to go to all these other major museums all over the world and go through their material required credibility—and that started with Don. Then, it snowballed.”

He was then led, notably, to Paris—a place he calls “the hotbed of malacology” today—at France’s National Museum of Natural History (MNHN). Severns says that Dr. Philippe Bouchet, senior professor at the museum, took a particular interest in the book—becoming “instrumental” in its creation—and gave Severns an all-access, anytime pass to the museum’s collection.

“Paris is a very active museum,” Severns says, so he’d “wrangle” visiting scientists into writing about the families within their expertise. He adds that another plus to Paris is that it’s much easier to have on-loan specimens shipped directly to MNHN than it is to deal with difficult paperwork with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Severns was also one of just 10 divers in the world to be invited on an expedition

to Madagascar, financed by Prince Albert of Monaco, and is already a part of plans for a follow-up mission. “They’re running expeditions all over the world,” he says.

“The next one is in Northern New Guinea.

We find new species up the yin yang. There’s buckets of this stuff. We’re diving in places that no ones ever really looked at.”

But most of all, Severns says, Paris is a “hotbed” because “they’re putting it all together”—and for the first time, information is being aggregated into computers. “Things that have been named two or three times are being discovered that they’ve been named two or three times. A senior name is now being assigned to them; and the whole thing is now coming together.”

Because “it’s one of the few natural sciences that is so complex,” Severns explains, “the work is now at a fever pitch... I’ve just spent two days pondering a shell and two months describing it—and there are probably 50,000 to be described.

It’s going to take a lot of people a lot of time to get it done.”

Though Severns calls his work “a century book,” he’s also aware and excited that “the book is now going to get picked apart—and it’s already begun.”

He admits there are a few already-known mistakes that made it into the book—but

only discovered because of the book.

For example, because of the plates’ high resolution imaging, during the publishing process he and his colleagues noticed previously undescribed species previously grouped with something similar.

“You can’t say anything at this point because that’s the scientific process,” says Severns. “It’s so involved [and] it has to be done according to the rule.”

Already, many other pending revisions have been noted, discovered in the short time since the book’s May publication, usually by the international writers and reviewers themselves.

Exhausted by the initial endeavor, Severns sighs about the forthcoming work. “We’re already planning in the next five or 10 years [that] we’re going to create a second edition and include all of this stuff,” he says. Still he, stresses his excitement, saying “what people have to realize is that I’m not going to take offense.” In fact, it’s the point.

“This gives everybody something to start with,” he tells me. “Everything is here, everything we know up until this point.”

Then he lifts The Sea Shells volume, letting all 562 stitched pages plop authoritatively on the table. “This is accurate stuff.” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1503a

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FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

The Magic Of China Boat China Boat 4474 Lower Honapiilani Rd. Lahaina, HI 96793 (808) 669-5089 chinaboatkahana.com

I

’m pretty peeved that Kahana offers excellent Chinese delivery and Wailuku does not. In fact, China Boat in Kahana is a magical place. Literally.

Since 1987 China Boat has been een a mainstay for Chinese cuisine in West Maui. It was good, but then a year and a half ago Kai and Grace Chen came to manage the restaurant and breathed new life into the menu. The Chens came here from Huntington Beach, California, after running a landmark Chinese restaurant there for 20 years.

China Boat got a facelift, the old carpet et went out and a new tiled floor went in.

Fresh paint adorned the walls. Of course, e, none of this would matter if they didn’t have wonderful talent in the kitchen. Head ead chef Kai Chen restructured the menu, combining Szechwan, Mandarin, Cantonese nese and Japanese style cuisines, while Grace Chen managed the front of the house.

“The trend we noticed in Chinese restaurants is to have all the cuisines in one place,” Grace said. “Szechwan is known for spicy, Cantonese the black bean sauce, Mandarin is famous for Peking duck. We can do any of the sauces on any different meat. The menu is versatile.” Such a large undertaking could be a risk, if not done right, but here they pull it off well with more than 120 items available on the menu.

I started my tour of China with calamari and lettuce wraps off the appetizer menu.

The fried calamari was supreme—no tiny legs here. These were calamari steaks, crosshatched, flour-dredged and fried. They’re served with both spicy chinese mustard sauce and a sweet and sour sauce. These crispy seasoned seafood curls are tender as butter. The minced chicken with bits of green onion were cupped in iceburg lettuce wraps and came with a sweet dark sauce, which we drizzled over the whole business before scarfing it down.

The outside of the restaurant is almost hidden from the roadside with tropical fauna. You have to keep an eye out for their modest sign that simply says, “China Boat Restaurant,” with another, smaller sign reading “lunch specials $7.99” hanging below. They have plenty of parking. Once inside, their large dining room windows offer green jungle views all the way around.

It’s very pleasant.

You will likely be greeted and seated by Grace, with the rest of the he staff all very friendly and helpful. We were dining with children, and were ere surprised to find a resident magician an called simply “the boss.” The boss poured water into newspapers, pushed pins into balloons that didn’t pop and made objects vanish—the kids were

candied w alnut

raps Lettuce W

shrimp

bell chicken b ll pepper, pe hi k and d zucchini hi i were flavored avore with crumbs of garlic and soy sauce throughout the dish. throug Their Th noodle selection is also exceptional with seven different styles of excep noodles nood to choose from. We tried the lessoften found Singapore rice noodle, which comes com yellowed with curry spice. These hair thin rice noodles clung to the char siu pork and shrimp, and are served with cabbage, aromatic onion and carrot. They cab could be b a meal unto themselves, or for gluttons glutton like us a perfect wheat-free starchy side dish. di I did not get to try the Peking duck or the whole fish, Japanese cuisine, or any of the udon dishes, but I will be back to try it all.

China Boat features daily lunch and dinner specials that change, so give them a call for details. They have a big private dining room for parties, and they have a catering menu available, too. If you dine between 5pm and 6pm you can enjoy 15 percent off. Food is fresh and they use no MSG. ■

enthralled, but some of his tricks were actually amazing even to the adults in our group. Even more delightful, the kids exclaimed that their chicken fried rice was the best they ever had, and they devoured every morsel. Kids tend to be the toughest critics, so I was impressed.

One of my favorite dishes is candied walnut shrimp, a deep batter fried shrimp smothered in a creamy honey-mayonnaise sauce and candied walnuts. Here they pile the dish over steamed broccoli; the two flavors accented each other well. My second favorite had to be the vegetarian szechwan garlic eggplant, g ggp Got a hot food scoop? p Contact Jen Russo at a spicy dish of 808-280-3286 or 808 garlic, onion, fax to 808-244carrot and a 0446.

044 wonderful sweett soy based sauce To sshare or save with a braised this article, type: asian eggplant. mt.hy.pr/1503d m t.

The cashew nut chicken For more foodie was another news, visit new superb dish.

MauiTime’s Mau The cashews food blog at: and water mauidish.com m au chestnuts gave it lots of crunchy texture, and the stir fried Lemon Chicken sweet green

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FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

Pau Hana

Swimming through Maui’s watering holes OPEN LUNCH DINNER

Lahaina Cafe’s Da Office 843 Wainee Street, Lahaina, HI 96761 808-667-6655 LOCATION: 843 Wainee. It’s not quite across the street from Radio Shack and Ace Hardware, not quite next door to Nagasako on Wainee Street, which is not quite Front Street, but it is Lahaina’s easiest place to park and eat and drink. Oh, I know that everyone rides a bike in Lahaina, but for the rest of us this is a lifesaver.

DECOR: A giant smoky feng shui fountain greets you at the door. From there you can decide to take their yellow brick road to the bar (take a right) or the dining room (left). Lahaina Cafe recently pulled a switcheroo on us, taking their large dining room and small bar space and flipping them. Now you have a large bar to belly up to and pool tables, and the dining room is off to your left. There are plenty of TVs to watch and plenty of booze to wash down the food. This is not the tropical drink crowd. Patrons enjoy their jukebox music and I like the wifi.

WHATS ON SPECIAL TODAY?: Jim Beam and oysters!

WHERE’S DA OFFICE?: It’s not a secret moke paper-pushing center, but just the newest incarnation of Q’s Lahaina Cafe. You may remember Q as the beloved proprietor of Bamboo at 505 Front Street. When the

bar part of the Lahaina Cafe began to form, Q decided it needed its own moniker, and Got a hot food scoop? Contact Jen Russo at he held a vote of patrons. There was also 808-280-3286 or fax to 808-244-0446. a contest for artwork. You can catch that artwork on display in the bar and on tees.

To share or save this article, type: Entertainment: Sports games are events mt.hy.pr/1503d2 here, trivia night, live music like Damion and Garrett. Call for times.

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s GRINDS: Breakfast is served from 10am food blog at: mauidish.com to 9pm so it doesn’t matter what time you wake up on the Westside, there is always a morning meal al for you. The latest latee night menu on the Westside happens here, e, too, with Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai and some American dishess served till 4am. Oxtaill soup is also available, though it’s not on the menu. Check the boards for daily specials or just ask.

HAPPY HOUR: 3pm to 7pm DRINK SPECIALS: $3 domestic beers and well drinks, $4 jaeger shots. Check Q , the proprietor the day glow boards for daily specials. ■

M

and vinegar to taste, then add semi-ripe mango for this umami snack.

For those who like an altogether different fruit, cherry season in the Northwest starts in June and lasts until the end of August. This month, Longhi’s Lahaina bakery manager Michelle Fabiani ni is honoring the Rainier Cherry, known herr kno n for its pale yellow color and sweet flesh, by offering a special Chocolate Cherry y Tart. You can indulge yourself and help control your blood pressure at the same time: cherries are a superfood loaded with potassium, which can lower the riskk of hypertension and strokes. National Rainier Cherry Day is July 11. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1503d3

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FOODIE NEWS angoes are in season and grown locally on Maui.

Support your local farmer, like Patricia Iwamoto of Yee’s Orchard (one of Maui’s oldest mango farms) by buying local mangoes.

The Yees were pioneers of mango-growing on Maui, planting their first tree 63 years ago. Now Yee’s Orchard Fruit Stand in Kihei is a favorite stop for mango lovers-you can even find reviews written by visitors on Yelp. Mangoes flower from December to April, and the fruit is ready to harvest around May, bringing us their glorious sweet sunshine-blessed flesh throughout the summer.

Even green mangoes are revered for their pickling; you can find this local treat on roadside stands, like the one advertising “pickle mango” I stopped at recently in Ukumehame. Shoyu mango is an easy snack that we ate as kids: just mix shoyu

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MAUI We’re upping the ante yet again on our biggest issue of the year, the 2011 Best of Maui, and bringing it to you in a whole new innovative, interactive way! We don’t want to let the cat out of the bag just yet—but be prepared for a radically new approach to reading newsprint. This is our most popular edition of the year, and readers are eagerly awaiting the results from this year’s Best of Maui poll. Combine this with the excitement of Hawaii’s first interactive issue and you’ve got the biggest hit of the summer!

Call today for space reservations and details on how to make your ad an INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCE!

SNAP A PHOTO OF THIS QR CODE WITH YOUR SMART PHONE FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

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THE FUTURE OF NEWSPRINT IS ALMOST HERE. 16 JULY 7, 2011

BY ANU YAGI

A&E

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Do You Believe In Magic?

Kupanaha Tuesdays through Saturdays, 4:45-7:30pm Ka’anapali Beach Hotel, 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina; 667-00128 / (toll free) 1-800-262-8450; kupanaha.com / kbhmaui.com; $89 Golden Circle (front row) / $79 general / $55 young adults (13-to 20-year-olds) / $39 keiki (six-to 12-year-olds) / complimentary for keiki 5-years-old or younger

W

e live in a world where the only sure things are death and taxes; hard knocks, deadlines and gravity. Perhaps that’s why magic is so alluring. It’s the chance to submit to illusionists’ sway and allow our disbelief the reprieve of suspension.

The Baran ‘ohana—the renowned mom and pop illusionists (and their keiki!) behind the new-and-improved Kupanaha magic show—aim to guide locals and visitors alike as they journey into a realm where a magic man can make a great escape Houdini style, and lovely ladies are levitated or sawed in-half, much to their own delight.

(Oh, and the show’s augmented by an omnomnom KBH dinner and Mai Tais— which sure doesn’t hurt.)

Helmed by Jody Baran and his wife Kathleen—alongside their kids Crystal, Katrina

and Robert—the Kupanaha show is produced by a family, for families. Chicago-born, Jody says he began performing at the tender age of five, receiving his first award for magic by the age of 10, and by 16 had a full-time career in show business. Calling it “proof that magic can transport you,” he traveled the world honing his craft (while earning chops with the likes of Disney and Six Flags), and has entertained “a who’s who” roster of celebrities and even heads of state.

When Jody “fell for the magic of Kathleen [Pomeroy],” he says it was “love at first sight.” Kathleen is a lifelong dancer and So-Cal native, who was “enchanted [by] the world of magic” in her teens.

“In a classic case of life imitating art,” Jody and Kathleen married, and their burgeoning ‘ohana has performed together “night after night” for more than a decade. While many of us can barely manage a disengaged TV dinner without bickering, you’ve gotta admit their love and commitment—evident onstage—is the real magic.

Both heartwarming and hilarious, the updated show debuted this April— hallmarking its impressive 2,500th performance—in the intimate 180-seat Kanahele Showroom. Balancing the miraculousness of magic, what’s unique about the Baran family’s production is that it incorporates the myths and legends of old and new Hawaii, including historical references to

some of the world’s most famous magicians who made their merry way to the isles in the “glory days of yore.” Stage design is made spectacular using many of the vintage images of the day, and true to magic show tradition, is a suit vest and sequined spectacle.

Further, with the authentic articulations of the Kupanaha Dancers under the direction of kumu hula Dal Aricayos, the show aims to “express the magic of Hawaiian demigods through song, chant and dance.” Aricayos’ vision is to “share the accuracy of [Hawaii’s] legends and stories” as “people are sometimes misled without enough information.”

It’s classic magic meets ancient mysticism (appropriately at “Hawaii’s most Hawaiian hotel”), with a lovable ‘ohana eager and able to entertain. The showroom is drenched in a sparkling, night sky motif and during the dinner service—kalua pork and grilled vegetable bruschetta pupus, entrees of fish, chicken, steak or tofu, plus pina colada cheesecake for dessert—the show starts early with table-side magic.

So if the drudgery of Muggledom (sorry) has got you aching for augury, look no further than Kupanaha. It’s wholesome and hysterical, mystical and cultural; everything you’d expect a magic show to be—and then some. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1501

ALBUM OF THE WEEK 3 2 1

4 5 6 7

8 9 10

8 of 10

ARCTIC MONKEYS

Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not (Domino; 2006).

This album takes us to a gritty and dreary world of inhabited by alienated and violent people. It’s a fast-paced romp into the dregs of northern English nightclubs.

Ironically, it’s the furthest thing from dance music. It rocks. Guitars combine clean and trembling riffs with heavily distorted power chords mixing hard rock angst with psychedelic riffs. The most amazing part of the album, however, is the vivid lyricism of Alex Turner. Turner is very much in the world he describes and he has an exceptional way of placing listeners right in the action. The descriptions of pimp and prostitute in “When the Sun Goes Down” are told casually and with unmatched clarity. In “I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor,” Turner shows the lifelessness of a dirty clubs pumping house music, where “there ain’t no love, no Montague or Capulets/Just banging tunes and DJ sets/Dirty dance floors and naughtiness.” “From the Ritz to the Rubble” retells a violent 86ing (“He’s got his hand in your chest/He wants to give you a Tupp/ Well secretly I think they want it all to kick off/They want arms flying everywhere and/ Bottles as well it’s just/Something to talk about/A story to tell”). Turner seems to reserve most of his disdain for hipsters.

He takes particular aim in “Fake Tales of San Francisco” (“There’s a super cool band, yeah/With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine/And all the weekend rockstars are in the toilets/Practicing their lines”). Whatever People Say I Am is the fastest-selling album by any band in the United Kingdom. The Arctic Monkeys are international stars. This was their first.

Miraculously, they’ve only gotten better.

- Ben Lowenthal All albums reviewed in this space are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315)

JULY 7, 2011 17

BY BARRY WURST II

FILM

barry@mauitime.com

Bad Robots Transformers: Dark of the Moon

★★★★★

Rated PG13/157 min.

A

fter the opening 10 minutes of the third Transformers movie, we’ve witnessed a robot apocalypse, and learn that the NASA moon landing was a cover–up for the discovery of robots on the moon. Most shockingly, we see that even though this movie costs around $300 million, producers couldn’t afford to cast Presidents Nixon and Kennedy with actors who look anything like the real men.

In the present day, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a young man as unappealing as his last name, has a rich attractive girlfriend, played by Megan Fox replacement and model-turned-failed actress-turned backto-modeling Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Sam imposes himself upon the U.S. military when he learns of an upcoming attack by the Decepticons and likes to remind everyone that he “saved the world twice.”

I don’t like Michael Bay’s Transformers series because they try to be all things to all people. Of course these idiotic movies are popular, since they incorporate so many different market-tested formulas, stock characters and popular trends; watching the movie is like channel surfing basic cable. These movies are too stupid and obnoxious for many adults and far too profane, scary and sleazy for children, the film’s supposed audience.

Bay’s best film is still The Island, the underrated, wholly unoriginal but engaging summer of 2005 flop that actually established likable characters and a story with genuine human interest. In Dark of the Moon (a title just one word away from paying Pink Floyd royalties), the humans are always rude to each other, shouting constantly. What’s more, no one is likeable.

I expected bad performances from LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro, but it’s sad to see John Malkovich, Frances McDormand and Patrick Dempsey (who plays the film’s only interesting character) giving equally embarrassing turns. As for the robots, they still look like piles of junk (unlike their sleek, appealingly boxy appearances in the

Oh, just a typical morning commute to the office...

cartoon show this is based on) and talk like the cornball villains from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

After a dreadful 90-minute pile-up of countless scenes that could have been shortened or tossed, the movie gets down to the good stuff in a very-extended climax, where Chicago becomes a pile of rubble while the robots duke it out. There’s an impressively staged set piece involving a gravity-defying escape from a toppling sky scraper: I want to give Bay his due but the scene is such an obvious and shameless recycling of the horrific 9/11 footage, re-imagined as action movie fodder. Ditto a scene involving a space shuttle explosion, which looks uncannily like the Challenger disaster.

After Sept. 11, 2001, many quipped that Michael Bay would one day make a brainless blockbuster based on that day. Well, he did it, the same way he turned Dec. 7, 1941

into an equally wretched popcorn spectacle.

To cut Bay some slack, his action scenes have their moments but there’s so much going on you can be tricked into missing the bad editing. There’s actually a scene where Sam is chased by a Decepticon at work, which then cuts to him driving his car outside with his girlfriend.

What?! How did he escape? Did he teleport his way out of harm’s way?

Despite what I tell my film students, I don’t think Bay is the worst Hollywood director alive. His Transformers movies, on the other hand, are insufferable. They’re like sitting front row at a monster truck rally while Bay sits in your lap and screams at you through his bullhorn, “Is this awesome or what?!” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1503f

LOVE YOUR PET...

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Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

Zookeeper-PG - FRI - WED 11:00, 1:30, 3:50, 6:05, 8:20, 10:30.

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bad Teacher - R - THU (12:05, 2:35, 4:50), 7:35, 9:45.

Cars 2 (2D) - G - THU-FRI (11:15, 1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-MON (11:15, 1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 9:55.

Horrible Bosses - R - FRI (12:05, 2:35, 4:55), 7:35, 10:05. SAT-MON (12:05, 2:35), 4:55, 7:35, 10:05. TUE-WED (12:05, 2:35, 4:55), 7:35, 10:05.

Larry Crowne - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:05. SAT-MON (12:00, 2:30), 5:00, 7:30, 10:05. TUE-WED (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:05.

Monte Carlo - PG - THU-FRI (11:30, 2:00, 4:45), 7:20, 10:00. SAT-MON (11:30, 2:00), 4:45, 7:20, 10:00. TUE-WED (11:30, 2:00, 4:45), 7:20, 10:00.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Bad Teacher - R - THU 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:40, 8:00, 10:15. FRI-WED 11:40, 1:45, 3:50, 5:55, 8:00, 10:05.

Cars 2 (2D) - G - THU 11:30, 2:15, 5:00, 7:45, 10:30. FRI 9:00, 10:45, 1:15, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. SAT-WED 10:45, 1:15, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45.

Cars 2 (Dolby) - G - THU 10:45, 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. FRI-WED 111:30, 2:00.

Cry Baby Matinee - G - WED 11:00.

The Hangover Part II - R - THU 8:10, 10:30.

Horrible Bosses - R - FRI-WED 11:40, 1:45, 3:50, 4:40, 5:55, 7:00, 8:00, 9:20, 10:05.

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2D) - PG - THU 11:30, 1:40, 3:50, 6:00. FRI-WED 11:00, 3:30, 8:00.

Larry Crowne - PG13 - THU 10:30, 12:45, 3:00, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. FRI-WED 10:30, 12:50, 3:00, 5:15, 7:30, 9:50.

Mr. Popper’s Penguins - G - THU 10:35, 12:45, 2:55, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30. FRIWED 1:15, 5:45, 10:15.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Bad Teacher - R - THU 11:00, 1:00, 3:30, 5:330, 7:30, 9:30.

Beginning of the Great Revival - Unrated - THU 1:15, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45.

Cars 2 (2D) - G - THU 10:30, 1:15M 3:45, 6:00, 8:15, 10:30.

Horrible Bosses - R - FRI-WED 10:45, 1:00, 3:30, 5:50, 8:05, 10:35.

Midnight in Paris - PG13 - FRI-WED 11:15, 1:45, 4:05, 7:15, 9:50.

Mr. Popper’s Penguins - G - THU 11:00.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2D) - PG13 - THU-WED 12:00, 3:30, 7:00, 10:20.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU (1:30, 4:20), 7:10. FRI-WED 6:45, 9:35.

Green Lantern (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (11:30, 2:15, 4:55). SAT-SUN (11:30, 2:15), 4:55. MON-WED (11:30, 2:15, 4:55).

Green Lantern (3D) - PG13 - THU 7:45, 10:25. FRI-WED 7:35, 10:15.

Midnight in Paris - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:05, 2:20, 4:40), 7:00, 9:20. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:30), 4:40, 7:00, 9:20. MON-WED (12:05, 2:20, 4:40), 7:00, 9:20.

Monte Carlo - PG - THU-FRI (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:30), 5:00, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:45, 3:45). SAT-SUN (12:45), 3:45. MON-WED (12:45, 3:45).

Super 8 - PG13 - THU-FRI (11:35, 2:10, 4:50), 7:30, 10:10. SAT-SUN (11:35, 2:10), 4:50, 7:30, 10:10. MON-WED (11:35, 2:10, 4:50), 7:30, 10:10.

Thor (2D) - PG13 - THU (1:00, 3:45).

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2D) - PG13 - THU (12:50, 3:50), 6:30, 7:00, 7:20, 10:00, 10:15, 10:30, 10:40. FRI-WED (12:00, 3:20), 6:45, 10:05.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (3D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:50, 3:50, 5:00), 6:15, 7:20, 8:30, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:50), 3:50, 5:00, 6:15, 7:20, 8:30, 9:35. MON-WED (11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:50, 3:50, 5:00), 6:15, 7:20, 8:30, 9:35.

X-Men: First Class - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:15, 3:30), 6:40, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:15), 3:30, 6:40, 9:45. MON-WED (12:15, 3:30), 6:40, 9:45.

Zookeeper - PG - FRI (11:45, 1:30, 2:15, 4:00, 4:45), 6:30, 7:15, 9:00, 9:45.

SAT-SUN (11:45 1:30, 2:15), 4:00, 4:45, 6:30, 7:15, 9:00, 9:45. MON-WED (11:45, 1:30, 2:15, 4:00, 4:45), 6:30, 7:15, 9:00, 9:45.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bad Teacher - R - FRI-WED (12:15, 2:45), 5:15, 7:45, 10:15.

Green Lantern (2D) - PG13 - THU (1:00, 3:45), 7:00, 9:50.

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2D) - PG - THU (1:30).

Super 8 - PG13 - THU (4:00), 7:05, 9:30.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2D) - PG13 - THU-WED (12:00, 3:20), 6:45, 10:05.

Zookeeper - PG - FRI (12:05, 2:35, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:35), 5:00, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (12:05, 2:35, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00.

New This Week HORRIBLE BOSSES - R - Comedy - Live vicariously through Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis. 109 min.

MONTE CARLO - PG - Creating delusions of grandeur one cliche at a time. Coming soon to a Walmart bargain bin near you. 124 min.

ZOOKEEPER - PG - Comedy - Kevin James (Paul Blart: Mall Cop), apparently, had a horrible career counselor. Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone and Cher lend their voices. 111 min.

MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS - G - Comedy - Jim Carrey plus some misbehaving arctic fowl equals...hilarity? 95 min.

NOW SHOWING BAD TEACHER - R- Comedy - Cameron Diaz is every heterosexual junior high school kid’s dream teacher: profane, sexy, wildly inappropriate.

Whether she’s funny is another matter... 92 min.

BRIDESMAIDS - R - Comedy - Gone wild. 124 min.

CARS 2 - PG - Animated - The Pixar Cars are back, this time in Europe because some French race car challenged Lightning McQueen on TV. 120 min.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES - PG 13 - Fantasy - Captain Jack’s back (yep, again) to steal some more booty. 137 min.

SUPER 8 - PG13 - Sci.-Fi. - Kids filming a zombie movie wind up capturing something truly scary. 127 min.

TRANSFORMERS: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON - PG 13 - What?! This isn’t a Pink Floyd laser light show? Well, never mind... Shia LaBeouf stars as Sam Witwicky, with Markiss

McFadden as Lennox Team ‘Baby Face’ (and no, we did not make those names up). 157 min.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS - PG13 - Sci-Fi Because mutants don’t ride coach. 131 min.

LAST CHANCE BEGINNING OF THE GREAT REVIVAL - NR- Drama - John Woo stars in this long, long retelling of the founding of the Chinese Communist Party. Woo! Party! 140 min.

THE HANGOVER PART II - R - Comedy - We’re holding out for The Hangover Part III: The Intervention. 102 min.

THOR - PG13 - Fantasy - It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a bastardized Greek god with a hammer! 130 min.

GREEN LANTERN - PG13 - Fantasy, Action - Good versus evil, a magic ring, a dude in spandex... somehow this all feels so familiar. 114 min.

KUNG FU PANDA 2 - PG - Animated - Jack Black’s back as the rotund, butt-kicking Asian land mammal. Skee-doosh! 90 min.

LARRY CROWNE - PG 13 - Could playing a hopelessly square middle-aged man really be that hard? Apparently, it is. Tom Hanks (DaVinci Code) phones it in alongside Julia Roberts (Mystic Pizza). 99 min.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS - PG13 - Comedy The latest from Woody Allen stars Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams and, presumably, rapid-fire existential dialogue. 94 min.

Horrible Bosses

JULY 7, 2011 19

PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Electric! (Boogie Woogie Woogie)

(Friday) July 8, 8-10pm, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;o on the Beach, Lahania; $35

(Friday) July 8, 9pm-3am, The Underground, Lahaina; $15 general/$20 VIP

Independence Day is over but we can still celebrate our fiesty freedom at Lahainaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best monthly cocktail party, hosted by Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;o. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to liberty to set your social meter where you dare, and the freedom to share it with inventive menu items, pupus and wine. The Rissoto action station is a festive place to gather round, with wine in hand, and beer will be a surprising twist in this wine club party.

Thirty five bucks American gets you in for the evening from 8 to 10pm, and as usual all you last minute peeps are welcomeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;no reservations are necessary. Call 661-8422 for more info. [Jen Russo]

PHOTO BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Still Celebratinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

The UNITY Summer Electronic Music Massive is slated to be the 2011â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest electronic music hui, featuring the isleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most notable names and best on-isle sound systems. So if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotta feel it pumpinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; like a matic, boogie woogie your way down to the Westsideâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Undergroundâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the isleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only, drug-and alcohol-free all-ages party place.

If thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house music anywhere in the shadow of the House of the Sun, DJ Del Sol (LoveHouse) and DJ CIA (Suck My Beat) are certainly its instigators.

Professors of the perfect playlist, their residencies include Wednesday nights at Ambrosia. Plus, Fxxx Rogers (Fuzz Box) will be on hand to spoon feed deliciousness into your â&#x20AC;&#x153;earholes,â&#x20AC;? as will Honoluluâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s famed DJ Rayne (IOS Productions). And though Dublin Crew is new blood â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;round these parts, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve come out swinging by getting jungle parties a-jigglinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. If thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not enough, Team Awesome heads the decorating committee with Fuzz Box manning visuals plus live art

by Taryn Alessandro. And to keep you hoppinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the whole night through, the Smart Bar will feature the innovative, antioxidant richâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and locally madeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;magic elixir, Kona Red. Some say itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mystic, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bother resisting it. Just go.

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Sweet Citrus College Music (Saturday) July 9 through July 23, 7:30pm, Hyatt Regency Maui, Kaanapali

Citrus College Performing Arts have been hooking us up with amazing young musical talent from So Cal for the past decade through an amazing partnership supported by the Hyatt Maui. For three weeks each year, the guests of Hyatt and local residents can watch countless live performances of jazz, pop rock, swing and classics. On July 9 at 7pm in the Napili Gardens they perform the Great American Songbook sung by Dale Kristien and the Blue Note Orchestra. Kirstien has starred in more than 1,700 lead performances in Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera. Mike Jokovich, General Manager of Hyatt Regency Maui says, “No other resort in the state offers high-caliber live entertainment on this level, the frequency of performances and the exceptional talent is unheard of.” Catch their daily performances at the Hyatt poolside at Umalu, evenings at Japengo and late night swanky swing parties at the Monarchy and Regency ballrooms. Valet parking and specialty drinks are available. 661-1234 [Jen Russo]

Holla Atcha Poi (Wednesday through Sunday) July 10-August 20, 11am-5pm, Schaefer International Gallery, MACC, Kahului; free

Ah, the poi dog. Colloquially, it means mongrel (in the best way); i.e. ancestry that— like the process of poi-making—is all mashed-up. (And literally, it means now-extinct Hawaiian pariah dog. That name being interchangeable with “pye dog” and “pi dog,” you can see how the etymology ensued.) “Approach[ing] the concept of multi-ethnic roots and personal insights into individual histories while investigating ancestry, racial barriers and identity,” five renowned Valley Isle artists—Pat Masumoto, Darrell Orwig, Nancy Skrimstad, Michael Takemoto and Sidney Yee—have created a provocative body of multimedia work for the latest Schaefer exhibition, “Poi Dog.” In an interview with MauiTime, Masumoto says “We five artists have worked on creating this show for around three years. We realized that although we are very close to the culture, none of us are pedigree Hawaiian. Being a diverse bunch, we decided to explore our individual heritage.”

Of her work, Masumoto explains, “I chose to do nine life-size ‘memory’ paintings that capture people from my childhood as I recall them,” along with nine poems. “Each painting and poem tells a story about growing up in Lahaina. The process of dredging up the past has been like finding old scrapbooks I’d left in the attic of my mind.” You can check out the gallery anytime Wednesday through Sunday (11am-5pm) to peruse and ponder all of the poi dog pieces at your extended leisure. And if you’ve got a prize-worthy poi dog pup of your own, save the date for the Poi Doggie Contest (August 2, 2pm); an event created in collaboration with the Maui Humane Society. This canine-centric contest is for mutts only (no pedigrees) and features contest categories like Dog-Owner Look-Alike, Most Mixed Up, Best Howl, and Ugliest Mug. mauiarts.org

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JULY 7, 2011 21

BY ANU YAGI

CALENDAR

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS DUO DIORAMA - Sat, July 9. Part of â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Little More Summer Music, Pleaseâ&#x20AC;? series, presented by Ebb & Flow Arts. Chicago violinist MingHuan Xu and pianist Winston Choi perform works by Massachusettsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s John Melby (who will be in attendance) and Maurice Ravel (whoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;unless you have a time machineâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;will not be in attendance). Plus, a multi media work by Burton Beerman and others. Free.

7:30pm. Seabury Hall Performing Arts Center, 480 Olinda Rd., Makawao; 876-1854; seaburyhall.org / duodiorama.com/live; rosalime@aol.com UNITY: SUMMER ELECTRONIC MUSIC MASSIVE - Fri, July 8. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the biggest electronic music massive of 2011. Features Fxxx Rogers (FuzzBox), Dublin Crew, DJ CIA (Suck My Beat) and DJ Del Sol (LoveHouse), DJ Rayne (IOS Productions; Honolulu), plus visuals by Fuzz Box, decorations by Team Awesome, live art by Taryn Alessandro and healthy sippables by Kona Red. Free mixed CDs for the ďŹ rst 100 attendees. An alcohol and drug-free event. 18+ only. $10 / $15 / $20. 9pm3am. The Underground, 744 Front St., Lahaina PAULA FUGA WITH MIKE LOVE AND SAM ITES Sat, July 9. Look, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how many ways I can say this to you: But if you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen Paula Fuga & Co. at a Stella Blues Supper Club show, you simply donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re missing. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, like, sweet and sour like a lilikoi, and oh-so joyous. So, seriously. Do yourself a favor and check this show out. $60 fourcourse dinner / $30 show-only. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 874-3779; stellablues.com / facebook.com/stellablues

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COMEDY HUI DEBUTS AT RITZ-CARLTON, KAPALUA - Sun, July 10. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s improv comedy island style! Laugh your butt off and participate in this interactive show with The Comedy Hui. The expanded band lineup features all new songs and genres, and the cast is ready and rearing to tickle you pink. The Ritzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intimate 110-seat venue is sure to sell out, and if it does (help â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em make it happen!) a second hana hou show will ensue. Check-in at 5pm for the 5:30pm show. Check-in at 7:30pm for the 8pm hana hou. 2768036; comedyhui.com / laugh@comedyhui.com

STAGE MAUI ONSTAGE PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;CHICAGOâ&#x20AC;? - The hottest on-isle musical of the summer is ďŹ nally here! Written by Maurine Dallas Watkins, a young journalist for the Chicago Tribune who based the play on her 1924 reportage of murderesses Beulah Annan and Belva Gaertner. Opens Friday, July 8 and runs through Sunday, July 31. Showtimes are at 7:30pm on Fridays and Saturdays, and 3pm on Sundays. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to be a sell-out show, so go get your tickets quick, OK? Purchase tickets at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku), Lava Java (Kihei) or through the Maui OnStage box ofďŹ ce. (P.S. Check out sneak peeks of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Chicagoâ&#x20AC;? this Thursday at Casanova, Saturday at the Queen Kaahumanu Center, and Monday at Ambrosia!) $15-$40. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-6969; mauionstage.com

SUN-THURS

MAUI ONSTAGE AUDITIONS - Sat, July 9. Folks of any age, body type, vocal ability and level of experience are welcome to audition for â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Garden of BE,â&#x20AC;? written by Mauian Tess Cartwright and directed by Steven Dascoulias. Scheduled to run September 23 through October 2. Please prepare an uptempo song and character monologue (less than four minutes, combined), as well as a headshot and resume. Call to schedule and appointment. Free.

1-4pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 2428680; mauionstage.com

10PM !,, $2).+3 AFTER

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this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summer camp present their showpiece project. Call after July 1 for showtimes and ticket information. Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina; 661-1168 CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cirque du Soleilesque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mindboggling contortionists. Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aina). 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 6674540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com

TICKETS ON SALE NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Want to root, root, root for the home team? Cheer your heart out at some (or all!) of the 48 home games this season (May through August). Next series starts Saturday, June 18 against the Lake County Fielders. VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. Ichiro â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ironâ&#x20AC;? Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 2ND ANNUAL â&#x20AC;&#x153;SAVOR THE SUNSETâ&#x20AC;? BENEFIT FEATURING CITRUS COLLEGE NIGHT SHIFT ENSEMBLE - Thu, Jul 14. The delightful Citrus College band returns to perform at this second annual fundraising event for Lahaina Public Library renovations.

The evening features wines from Better Brands, signature pupus from Royal Lahaina chefs, as well as a live and silent auction. Sponsored by Rotary Club of Lahaina, Royal Lahaina Resort, Better Brands, and Citrus College. $35 advance. 5:30-9pm. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 661-3611 SAVE THE DATE: BATTLE OF THE PIANISTS Sat, July 16. Part of â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Little More Summer Music, Please,â&#x20AC;? presented by Ebb & Flow Arts. Duo Dioramaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Winston Choi joins area pianists including Lotus Dancer, Peiling Lin, Ruth Murata, Beatrice Scorby, and Karyn Sarring, among others, performing pieces by Percy Grainger, Simeon ten Holt, Anne Ku, Maurice Ravel, Igor Stravinskyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and surprise works written especially for the eventâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;composed for one to four pianos. Free. 7:30pm. Maui Music Conservatory, Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 876-1854 / 893-0707; museix.com/mmc.html; rosalime@aol.com NA HOKU HOU AWARD WINNERS CONCERT - Sat, July 16. A new event featuring winners from HARAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Na Hoku Hanohano Awards. Features 2011 winners: Mark Yamanaka (Male Vocalist, Most Promising Artist, Song of the Year and Album of the Year) and Hot Club of Hulaville (Jazz Album of the Year), Kainani Kahaunaele (Haku Mele and Hawaiian Language Performance), Kalapana (Lifetime Achievement Award), and more. $25 advance / $30 day-of / $40 premium + applicable fees. 5:30pm. Yokouchi Pavilion / A&B Amphitheater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SOLO SESSIONS WITH KAUMAKAIWA KANAKAâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;OLE - Thu, July 21. Hear â&#x20AC;&#x153;thee voice of Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new generation,â&#x20AC;? in an intimate, talk-story setting. $25 / $45 VIP + applicable fees. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SCREENING: â&#x20AC;&#x153;THAT FIRST GLIDEâ&#x20AC;? STAND UP PADDLE SURFING DOCO - Fri, July 22. Filmmaker Mike Waltze takes viewers on a journey from the origins of SUP in Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;back to the early Hawaiians and ďŹ rst Waikiki beach boysâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and on into the 20th century. Watermen Laird Hamilton, Gerry Lopez, Dave Kalama, Robby Naish, Brian Keaulana, Kai Lenny and others share their stories and what attracts them to this elegant sport. A portion of the proceeds will beneďŹ t Maliko Water Sports. $12 + applicable fees.

7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way,

Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SLACK KEY MASTERS: FEATURING JEFF PETERSON - Thu, July 28. Grammy Award winner George Kahumoku Jr. hosts Slack Key Masters each month and opens the show with his musical and storytelling talents. Kahumokuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s special guest this month is none other than acclaimed Maui boy Jeff Peterson, who grew up on the slopes of Haleakala and was introduced to slack key by none other than his paniolo father. Chee hoo! $25 / $25 VIP + applicable fees.

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SESAME STREET LIVE, 1-2-3 IMAGINE! WITH ELMO & FRIENDS - Fri, Sat & Sun, July 29-31. Elmo, Abby Cadabby, Big Bird and all your kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; favorite Sesame Street characters will be on hand to entertain. Full of energy and adventure, Ernie captains the high seas, Elmo dances to the rhythm of the African rainforest and Bert meets an octopus who has the blues. Too cool. $10 / $20 / 33 / $48 / $73. Various showtimes 10:30am-4:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE THROWDOWNS CD RELEASE BLOWOUT - Sat, Aug 6. Celebrate the release of The Throwdownsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ďŹ rst full-length album â&#x20AC;&#x153;Legs Of Our Ownâ&#x20AC;? with a starstudded night featuring performances by Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jazz jewel Lily Meola, Big Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soul sister Kimie and with special appearances by Marty Dread and MOTH. 5pm gates / 6pm show. Yokouchi Pavilion / A&B Amphitheater, One Cameron Way, Kahului, 242-SHOW (7469), mauiarts.org / thethrowdowns.com JIM BRICKMAN - Sun, Aug 7. Brickman is a platinum-selling artist whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrated for revolutionizing the sound of solo piano with pop instruments and star-studded vocal collaborations. $25/ $35/ $50/ $65 (VIP). 3pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: POI DOGGIE CONTEST - Tue, Aug 2. In collaboration with the Maui Humane Society, this canine-centric contest for mutts only (no pedigrees) features contest categories like DogOwner Look-Alike, Most Mixed Up, Best Howl, and Ugliest Mug. Free admission. $10 fee for contestants. 2pm. Schaefer Lawn, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahuluiu; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: â&#x20AC;&#x153;ALL MY SONSâ&#x20AC;? - Mon, Aug 8.

A Maui OnStage ONO (one night only) production of â&#x20AC;&#x153;All My Sonsâ&#x20AC;? by Arthur Miller. A classic 1940s American drama about ethics versus survival. Featuring Don Carlson, Jerry Eiting, Michael Pulliam, Jennifer Rose and Jackie Shea. Free. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; mauionstage.com MAUI CALLS 2011 - Fri, Aug 12. The MACCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s signature fundraiser gala celebrates its 16th year. Experience ďŹ ne wine, Hawaiian music by Ahumanu, live and silent auctions and more. Plus, guests receive a fresh ďŹ&#x201A;ower lei upon arrival. 21+ only. $175 / $195 / $250 / $500. 6pm.

Yokouchi Pavilion / A&B Amphitheater, One Cameron Way, Kahului, 242-SHOW (7469), mauiarts.org SLACK KEY MASTERS WITH JOHN KEAWE - Thu, Aug 18. Grammy Award winner George Kahumoku Jr. hosts Slack Key Masters each month and opens the show with his musical and storytelling talents. Kahumokuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s special guest in August is John Keawe, who has ten popular albums to his credit. Also features hula by Keaweâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lovely wife, Hope. $25 / $25 VIP + applicable fees.

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SPIN DOCTORS - Sat, Aug 20. The two princes who adore you will have to compete to see who gets to be your date at the Spin Doctors concert. Or, take them both. $55. 8pm. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 1-877-GROOV (47668); groovetikets.com SOLO SESSIONS WITH BENJAMIN VERDERY Thu, Aug 25. The New York Times calls Benjamin

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

06/30

07/01

07/02

07/03

07/04 - 07/06

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Thirsty Thursday Ladies’ Night w/ Q103’s Shaggy & DJ Jamn J, 9pm; no cover

Bottoms Up Nightclub w/ DJ C, DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J 10pm; $10

Rock & Roll Night w/ DJ Diesel Dave 9pm; no cover

Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Terri Garrison, 9pm / WED - Karaoke Night w/ Braddah Francis, 9pm

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph, 10pm

Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA, 10pm

MON – Cocktails For A Cause / TUE – Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED – Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Live Music

Live Music

8 Track Players 9pm-12am; $8

Jungle Boogie w/ DJ Kurt & DJ Trvr, 10pm; $5

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

Wavetrain 9pm; $5

DJ DASNFX 10pm

Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

Kinky Politicians 10pm-close

Latin Night 9pm-close

Live Island Music 6-8pm

DA KITCHEN, LAHAINA

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

Sunday Funday MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Ryan Palma, 7:30-10pm (no cover)

Friday’s in the Sky Lounge w/ DJ CIA

DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL 900 Front St., Lahaina - 662-3000

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Industry Night

DJ Illz 10pm; no cover

Mango Pickers 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED House Music (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Lawaia & Chad 10pm; no cover

Junior Lacuesta 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Sebrina Barron / TUES - Jordan & Wolf / WED - Sebrina Barron (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke & Darts

Birthday Party! Free Food!

Birthday Party! Free Food!

Karaoke & Darts

WED - Free Pool

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Lil Ras Dread 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Junior Lacuesta WED - Jordan Cudworth & Open Mic Night

HARD ROCK CAFE

Open Mic Night, 7:3010pm; no cover (all ages)

Sounds of Addiction 5-8pm

TBA

TBA

MON & TUE - Live Music / WED Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 7:30-10pm

HYATT REGENCY MAUI

Citrus College Band: Blue Note Orchestra, 10pm12am

Citrus College Band: Blue Note Orchestra, 10pm12am

Citrus College Band: The G.A. Songbook, 7-8:30pm

Citrus College Band: Blue Note Orchestra, 9pm-12am

MON through WED Citrus College at Japengo, Sonz and Umalu

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali - 661-1234

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

Verdery “iconoclastic” and “inventive.” Not too shabby, eh? But, makes sense, for a six stringer and prolific composer who’s played worldwide, including at the International Guitar Festival (Havana, Cuba), Wigmore Hall (England) and the Metropolitan Opera (New York City). $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 pm.

McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: KU MAI KA HULA 2011 INTERNATIONAL HULA COMPETITION - Sat, Sept 10. The sixth anniversary of this illustrious invitational, presented by Kauahea Inc. and the Maui Arts & Cultural Center. Featuring group and solo performances in kahiko (traditional) and ‘auana (modern) adult male and female categories. For more information, call the MACC’s director of cultural programs, Hokulani Holt at 243-4269. 1-6pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; mauiarts.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS ‘KA HIMENI ANA’ 27TH ANNUAL HAWAIIAN MUSIC COMPETITION NOW ACCEPTING APPLICANTS - Contestant submissions are now being accepted for the Ka Himeni Ana Hawaiian music festival, presented by the Hawaiian Music Hall of Fame (August 27 at the Hawaii Theater in Honolulu). Open to amateur Hawaiian music groups containing two to five members (no solo acts). Six cash prizes from $200-$1,200. Deadline to enter is July 15. For contest rules, more information, or to enter, e-mail chimaine@hawaiipacificentertainment.com; on Twitter @kahimeniana SIGN UP FOR SUMMER READING PROGRAMS AT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY - Daily. Readers of all ages are invited to participate in the 2011 HSPLS Summer Reading Program “One World, Many Stories,” conducted May 31 through July 1. The free, fiveweek program features outstanding family-friendly storytelling performances by noted actors and artists. Participants who visit the library weekly and read at least one book per week are eligible to re-

ceive a free weekly reading incentive, while supplies last. Contact your local library for starting dates and guidelines. Free. librarieshawaii.org POI DOG - The newest art exhibition at the MACC featuring five renowned local artists—Pat Masumoto, Darrell Orwig, Nancy Skrimstad, Machael Takemoto and Sidney Yee—have created a provocative body of work exploring the ideas of ethnicity in Hawaii. The show opens today and runs through August 20. See This Week’s Picks for more. Schaefer International Gallery, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

EVENTS THURSDAY, JULY 7 CURIOUS CULTURES OF KILLER WHALES - Dr. Daniela Maldini lectures about Orca whales; about 200 of which are reported to live offshore from the Northwest Hawaiian Islands. Light refreshments provided by Whole Foods Market. All ages welcome.

Free. 6pm. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary, 726 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-2818 ext 22

THE GREAT AMERICAN SONGBOOK STARRING DALE KRISTIEN - World class singing sensation Dale Kristen (who was hand-selected by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber for the lead role of Christine in “Phantom” with Michael Crawford, and performed over 1,800 shows) joins the 30-piece Citrus College orchestra. Free valet parking. Cash bar. 7:30-10pm.

Hyatt Recency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina; mauivents.com

FRIDAY, JULY 8 ARTIST OPENING RECEPTION - Meet featured the guild’s featured artist Cole Warren, who creates one-of-a-kind wood bowls, cutting boards and desk accessories from Maui-grown Banksia seed pods. The reception features live music and refreshments. He creates one of a kind wood bowls, fantastic cutting boards, and special desk accessories from Maui-grown Banksia seed pods. Free.

6-9pm. Maui Crafts Guild, 69 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-9697

SOME HERE. ALL ONLINE. CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Our boys take on the Calgary Vipers. The fourth installment in an eightgame series. Continues through July 11, followed by a seven-game series against the Yuma Scorpions.

(P.S. Check out the official after party at the Kahului Ale House.) VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. 6:35pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880

SUNSET ISLAND RHYTHMS COCKTAIL CRUISE - Every Fri. Enjoy the sunset from the sea, on a fun-filled cruise led by local island music and reggae star Marty Dread. Includes appetizers and drinks. Departs from Ma’alaea Harbor at 5pm. Reservations required. Pacific Whale Foundation; 249-8811; pacificwhale.org PAIA MANTOKUJI MISSION OBON FESTIVAL Get out your getas and don your hapi coats or kimonos! Obon dances are always a treat for the senses and soul. Continues on Saturday, July 9. Service begins at 6pm. Dancing begins at 8pm. Paia Mantokuji Mission, Hana Hwy., Paia NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Our boys take on the Calgary Vipers. The fifth installment in an eight-

WED - Karaoke game series. Continues through July 11, followed by a seven-game series against the Yuma Scorpions.

(P.S. Check out the official after party at the Kahului Ale House.) VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. 6:35pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 LIA LIVE WITH THE KRYPTONES - Celebrating the release of the new single “On A One Way.” Plus, special guest Teomon. Free. 9pm-12am. Three’s Bar & Grill, 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133 8 TRACK PLAYERS GIG UPCOUNTRY - What’s all this then?! Usually you can catch Maui’s most happenin’ retro rockers down South... but this Friday, you can check ‘em out in Makawao town. OK, Upcountry.

Let’s show er’ybody how good we can dance in our cowboy boots, eh? $8 (how apropos). 9pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220

SATURDAY, JULY 9 HONOLUA BAY CLEANUP - Stewards of the sea, the Surfrider Foundation Maui Chapter hosts a monthly cleanup (every second Saturday) with none other than Les Potts. 8am. Learn more at ww2.surfrider.org/ maui or contact Les at 665-0043; lespotts@live.com KEANAE KEIKI JAM FEST - A major fundraising event to help raise funds for the revitalization of the old Keanae School as a Hawaiian Culture Focused Charter School. Entertainment includes performances by Lei‘ohu Ryder, Teomon & the Kryptones, also Pekelo, Halau Ka Pa Hula O Ka Ulu Koa “Hula Keiki”, Inside Out, and Jah Residentz, and even a special sky diving event between (9am-10am). Free. 9am-5pm. Keanae Ball Park, Keanae Rd., Keanae; 281-7201 SUSTAINABLE ALOHA SUMMER FEST - A pleasant Upcountry event for keiki and kupuna alike.

Features games, face painting, treasure hunts, mini bouquet-making, lavender potting, walking tours and live music. Plus, ono kine festival grinds like shave ice, hot dogs, hamburgers, kettlecorn and

JULY 7, 2011 23

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

07/07

07/08

07/09

07/10

07/11 - 07/13

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Tracy Stiles 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Rick Glencross

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

Sunday Country Jam feat. The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika, 7pm / TUE - Kahala, 7pm

1810 6:30-8:30pm

TBA 8-10pm

TBA 8-10pm

Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

MON through WED - Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

Live Music 8-11pm; no cover

Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs, 6pm12am; no cover

Live Music 8-11pm; no cover

Live Music 7-11pm; no cover

MON & TUE - Karaoke Fun Night, 6pm-1am / WED - Kiwi Cowboys 7-10pm (all no cover)

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Fulton Tashombe & The Jazz All Stars; 7-10pm

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Live Music & Dancing

Live Music & Dancing DJ Canespider, 11pm-close

Easy Listening w/ Neto 8-10pm DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; no cover

MON - Service Industry Night WED - Karaoke w/ Manino, 7:30-11 pm

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover

Kahana Canoe Club Fashion Show Fundraiser 9pm-close; $10/$15

Status Party feat. DJ Twizy, DJ Jem and DJ Treb, plus Philly Blunt & Money Mike, 10pm; $10

Kenny Roberts

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm-12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm (all no cover)

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae

MOANA CAFE

Phil & Angie Benoit

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

DJ Music

TUE - Open Mic Night

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S - LAHAINA

Evan Shulman, 7-9:30pm / 1810 feat. Ua Bradshaw, 9:30-11:30pm

Mark Burnett, 6:30-9:30pm / Joshua “Catfish” Cathey, 9pm-12am

Evan Shulman 6:30-9:30pm

Lawaia Aewau Open Jam, 6:30-11:30pm

MON - Tulei & Lanika Tapii, 7-9:30pm / TUE - Kenny Roberts, 7-9:30pm / WED - Kamaka Camarillo, 6:30-9pm; Joshua “Catfish” Cathey, 9-11:30pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Murray Thorne, 6:30-9pm / Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9pm-12am

Gail Swanson, 6:308:30pm / Alika Nako’oka, 10pm-12am

Alika Nako’oka 7-10pm

The Celtic Tigers w/ Roger McKinley / 6:309:30pm / Big John, 10pm12am

MON - SLAM feat. David Choy, 7-9:30pm; Rocking ‘80s Party 10pm-12am / TUE & WED - Willie K 7-9pm

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

MON - Eat & Place Day Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like a Pirate Night

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT 41 E. Lipa St., Kihei - 874-5115

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

even a watermelon eating contest. $5 admission per car. 9am-2pm. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-3004; aliikulalavender.com MAUI HEALTH EXPLOSION - Maui’s favorite health fair. Features health products and exhibits, holistic and alternative healing practitioners, fitness demos, dance, music, psychic arts and more. Entertainment lineup includes Adisa Omar (10am), Union Yoga Movement Group (10:30am), psychic Liah Howard (11am), Hoop Na Tyze (11:30am), Exergy 35 Productions martial arts and ribbon dance (12pm), Body Alive Yoga (12:30pm), Hui Lanakila Hula and Polynesian dancing (1pm), Core 24 fitness demonstration (12:45pm), Mad Science of Hawaii presents Mission Nutrition (2pm), Sacred Earth Belly Dance Troupe (2:30pm), Dreaming Bear (2:45pm), Lomi Lomi stick demonstration (3pm), “Living Health” food-based healing lecture (3:30pm), Bright Light of Love Meditation & Light Transmission (3:45pm).

Free. 10am-4pm. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; mauimall.com NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Our boys take on the Calgary Vipers. The sixth installment in an eightgame series. Continues through July 11, followed by a seven-game series against the Yuma Scorpions.

(P.S. Check out the official after party at the Kahului Ale House.) VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. 6:35pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 BEBE! FEATURING ART & PHOTOGRAPHY BY

24 JULY 7, 2011

KEYTOE - After documenting the charmed life of BEBE! for nine months, Keytoe debuts her doco about this legendary world traveler. 8:30-11:30pm.

A Makebelieve Company, 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku

SUNDAY, JULY 10 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Our boys take on the Calgary Vipers. The seventh installment in an eightgame series. Continues through July 11, followed by a seven-game series against the Yuma Scorpions.

(P.S. Check out the official after party at the Kahului Ale House.) VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. 2:05pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 COMEDY HUI MOVES ON UP TO THE RITZ - See Big Shows for more! Check-in at 5pm for the 5:30pm show. Check-in at 7:30pm for the 8pm hana hou.

276-8036; comedyhui.com / laugh@comedyhui.com

MONDAY, JULY 11 ONO (ONE NIGHT ONLY) SHOW: A CELEBRATION IN SONG FEATURING STEVEN DASCOULIAS - A great evening of music—from opera to John Denver classics to showtunes—featuring Steven Dascoulias, Clay Logue, Gilbert Emata, Patrick McDonald and Eric Molina. Free. 6:30pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-8680; mauionstage.com SUMMER BASH BALLROOM DANCE SOCIAL - The Hawaii Ballroom Dance Association sponsors a dance social. $30 advance (until July 8) / $40 (July 9 and after). 6-9:30pm. Maui Beach Hotel Elleair Rainbow

Ballroom, 1170 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 244-3263 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Our boys take on the Calgary Vipers. The final installment in an eightgame series. Followed by a seven-game series against the Yuma Scorpions beginning Tuesday, July 12. VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. 4:05pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880

TUESDAY, JULY 12 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - The first of a sevengame series against the Yuma Scorpions. Continues through July 16. VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. 6:35pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 GROWING OUR OWN TEACHERS BENEFIT - Flatbread Co. makes it easy for you to help support local teachers. They’re donating a percentage of food sales from 5-10pm (i.e. all you have to do is show up and eat pizza) to the Growing Our Own Teachers group. Plus, a silent auction runs from 5-8:30pm.

Flatbread Co., 89 Hana Hwy., Paia

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13 LAUHALA WEAVING CLASS AT BAILEY HOUSE MUSEUM - July 13, 20, 27 and Aug 3, 10, and 17. In a special six-week course, learn to weave your own lauhala project with famed kumu Pohaku Kaho`ohanohano,

who has been teaching weaving for 17 years. Please register by July 11. $60 members / $65 non-members.

Bailey House Museum 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 2443326; baileyhousemuseum@clearwire.net NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - The second installment in a seven-game series against the Yuma Scorpions. Continues through July 16. VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season.

6:35pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - Enjoy an island-style concert in the courtyard. Free. 6:308pm. The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; shopsatwailea.com CHRISTIAN MARTIN - Inspired by the massive desert soundsystems of old (i.e. So Cal’s now legendary Moontribe full moon parties), Mr. Martin founded the dirtybird soundsystem. Hold onto your skulls, your mind’s about to be blown. 10pm-2am. Ambrosia, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-1011

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri & Sat, Ras Shaggai 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Indapkt 3-6pm. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937.

COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu, Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; Every Fri & Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Every Sun, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Every Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Every Tue, live Jazz 7-10pm; Every Wed, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm.

SUNDAY SERIES

SUN. JULY 10TH

BLUES AND BREWS FEATURING MAUI JAZZ SOCIETY

HOSTED BY THE R.E. METOYER BLUES ROCK & SOUL REVUE

NO COVER 2PM-5PM

20% OFF

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TheGRID

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MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

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07/02

07/03

07/04 - 07/06

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SCOREBOARDS 1445 S. Kihei Rd. , Kihei -

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Randall Rospond 7-10pm; no cover

Joe Benedett & Friends 7-10pm; no cover

Joe Benedett & Friends 7-10pm; no cover

Sal Godinez & Bob Harrison 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Night / TUE - Service Industry Night / WED - Ladies Night; Free Pool

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Ladies’ Night / Karaoke 7pm-close; no cover

Kanaka Jam 9pm-12am; no cover

Free Pool / Karaoke 8pm/12am; no cover

Industry Night 10pm-close; no cover

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night, 10pm-close / WED - DJ Dance Party 8pm12am

Ah Tim

Tom Conway

Supper Club with Paula Fuga, Mike Love & Sam Ites

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm; SLAM feat. David Choy, 6-9pm

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Maui Underground 9pm-1am; $3

2nd Annual Karaoke Contest w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

WED - Blues Spirit of Maui 8:30-11:30pm; $3

Club 94x w/ Next Level Entertainment

Lia Live w/ The Kryptones and Teomon 9pm; no cover

Omar & The Soultones

Live Music

Live Music

Karaoke

Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIA JUANA’S BEACH CANTINA 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy. - 667-4080

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

THE UNDERGROUND 744 Front St., Lahaina

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

Next Level Entertainment 10pm

Gina Martinelli Band

TUE - Sushi Tuesdays w/ DJ CIA

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

UNITY: Summer Electronic Music Massive, 9pm-3am; $10/$15/$20 (18+)

College Night w/ Next Level DJs, 9pm-2am; $5/$10 (18+)

Live Music 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Free Karaoke

MON - Free Karaoke / TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908.

7pm). 3550 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Lahaina, 667-0787.

DA KITCHEN - Every Fri, Live Hawaiian music 5-7pm; Every Sun, Live Island music 6-8pm; Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 661-4990.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Fri & Sat, TBA; Every Sun, Mon, Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Damien 3–5pm, Garrett & Peter 6–8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sun, Tim 3-5pm, Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Every Mon, Brian 3-5pm, Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Every Tue, Brian 3-5pm, Alika & Eddie 6-8:30pm. Every Wed, Brian 3-5pm, Alika & Ron 6-8:30pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu, Jarrett & Wilson 3-5pm; Every Sun, Kilohana 3-5pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Thu, All-ages Open Mic Night 9pm; Fri, Sounds of Addiction 8pm; Sat & Sun, TBA; Mon & Tue, Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa7:30-10pm; Wed, Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana 7:30-10pm. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Thu, Alika 11:30am-1pm, Ernest Pua’a 1:30-3:30pm, Armadillo 4-6pm, Kulewa 6:30-9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 1:303:30pm, 1810 4-6pm, Kawika, Roy, & Tarvin 6:30-9pm; Sat, Evan Schulman 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Wili Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Sun, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30-1pm, Ron & Ikaika 1:303:30pm, 1810 4-6pm, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 1:303:30pm, Armadillo 4-6pm, Derrick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30-9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 11am-1pm, Jarrett Roback 1:30-3:30pm, Damon & Danyel Alana 4-6pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a 11am-1pm, Alika 1:30-3:30pm, Peter DeAquino 4-6pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends :30-9pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636.

HYATT MAUI RESORT & SPA - Sat, Citrus Collge Band Plays From “The Great American Songbook” 7-8:30pm; Daily, Citrus College Band Plays Upbeat Tunes at Umalu 4-6pm; Daily, Easy Listening with Citrus College Band at Japengo 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Citrus College at Umalu 6-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Citrus College Band: Easy (Listening) Peasy Lemon Squeezy 8-11am; Daily, Easy Listening with Citrus College Band at Umalu 6:30-9pm; Daily, Easy Listening with the Citrus College Band at Sonz 7-9pm; Fri, Easy Listening with Citrus College Band at Umalu 6-9pm. 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali, 808-661-1234.

JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Guest Performer; Fri, Tracy Stiles; Sat, Rick Glencross; Sun & Mon, Farzad & Mike Madden; Tue, Ras Shaggai; Wed, Rick Glencross (all sets

26 JULY 7, 2011

LONGHI’S LAHAINA - Every Fri, Maui Jazz Society 7-10pm. 888 Front St., Lahaina; 667-2288.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Every Fri, Cyrus Clark 5-7pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; Every Mon, Junior 6-8pm.

Every Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Wed-Sun, Ranga Pae; Mon, Benoit Jazzworks; Tue, David Choy. All sets 6-9pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 669-6400.

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S LAHAINA - Every Thu & Sat, Evan Shulman 7:30-9:30pm; Every Fri, Mark Burnett 6:30-9:30pm; Sun, Lawaia Aweau Open Jam 6:3011:30pm; Every Mon, Tulei & Lanika Tapii 6:30-9:30pm; Every Tue, Kenny Roberts 6:30-9:30pm; Wed, Kamaka Camarillo 6:30-9pm. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

ONO BAR & GRILL - Thu & Tue, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Kealii Lum; Sun, Mitch Keppa; Wed, Scott Baird (all sets 6-9pm).

Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 667-2525.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500.

VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Thu, Joel Katz 5:308:30pm; Fri, Glenn Kakugawa and hula by his daughter, Sarah Kakugawa 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Evan Shulman 6:309pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallo & Friens 7pm; Every Mon, Cocktails for a Cause benefit 8pm; Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night (July is spoof month!) 7:30pm.

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011.

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F. 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Every Fri & Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224.

Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy 6-9pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri, Mon &Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan RobMon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250.

TAQUERIACRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, live music - Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 875-2910.

KAI WAILEA - Thu, Mon & Sun, Wolf; Fri, Ryan Robinson; Sat, Kanoa; Mon, Tom Conway; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955.

KIWI ROADHOUSE - Thu, Reckless Scarlet 8-11pm; Every Fri, Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs 6pm-1am; Sat, Fun Lovin’ Infidels 8pm-12am; Every Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 7-11pm; Wed, Kiwi Cowboys 8-11pm. 95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 874-1250.

LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu & Fri, Live music and dancing; Every Sat, Easy Listening with Neto 8-10pm; Every Sun & Wed, Karaoke with Manino 7:30-11pm.

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-9944.

MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 875-6666.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30 pm; Fri, Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30 pm; Fri, Alika Nako’oka 10pm-12am; Sat, Alika Nako’oka 7-10pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6-9:30pm; Mon, SLAM feat. David Choy 7-9:30pm; Tue & Wed, Willie K 7-9om. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Phil & Angela Benoit 5:30-7:30pm. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 879-7177.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Thu, live jazz; Every Fri Jeff; Every Sat, Steff Lomeli; Every Mon, Cyrus Clark; Every Tue, Gerit Williams (all sets 7-9pm). 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-3133.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 875-8080.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun, Ron Shadian & Friends; Every Mon, Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.)

2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860.

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri, Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon, Terri Garrison 4-7pm; Every Tue, Braddah Francis 4-7pm. Every Wed, Karaoke w/ Braddah Francis.

355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001.

CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil & Angela Benoit 5:30-8:30pm. 1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului; 877-0773.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Daily, Francois 6-9pm; Every Sun, Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 873-6555.

SHARKY’S - Thu, Jordan Fun 5:30-9pm; Every Fri, Dress Like A Pirate Night 5:30-9pm; Tue, Karaoke Contest with DJ Jay 5:30-9pm. Lipoa Center, 41 E. Lipoa St. Ste. 15, Kihei, 874-5115.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Wolf. (all sets 4-6pm.) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444.

CASANOVA - Sun, Mana’o Radio Upcountry Sundays 2pm. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao, 572-0220.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu, Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sat, Supper Club feat. Paula Fuga, Mike Love and Sam Ites; Every Mon, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Mon, Supper Club feat. David Pack of Ambrosia 6-9pm; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every

LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Fri & Sat, live music 6-8pm. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani, 573-2859.

CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu, Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat, live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323.

KULA LODGE - Sat & Sun, Jazz music. 15200 Haleakala Hwy., Kula, 878-1535.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Every Thu, Phil & Angela Benoit 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Open Mic Night 6pm.

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

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DG;9L=< 9:GN= :D9;CA=K HAL KLGH AF CA@=A 874-1040 JULY 7, 2011 27

KULA KID

BY ANU YAGI anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Strangers With Candy â&#x20AC;&#x153;I catch a paper boy / But things donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really change / Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m standing in the wind / But I never wave bye bye / But I try / I try... / Modern love gets me to the church on time / TerriďŹ es me / Makes me party / Puts my trust in god and manâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; David Bowie

I " 4*/(-& "$3& 0' )&.1 $"/ 130%6$& 5)& 4".& ".06/5 0' 1"1&3 "4 "$3&4 0' 53&&4 8*5) /0 509*$ 3&4*%6&

$MPUIJOH "DDFTTPSJFT .PSF 1"*" t ."6* t

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FRIDAY AFTERNOON IS THE MOST POSITIVE, HOPE FILLED PORTION OF THE WEEK. SO HANG OUT WITH JOHNNY A AND SOAK UP THE GREAT VIBES, THE LAUGHTER, THE FREE STUFF, AND (OF COURSE) THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL EVER CREATED.

28 JULY 7, 2011

miss my long-lost sisterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nuptials by 15 minutes, but come hell or high water (managing both) I make it. And it only takes my ex-boyfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s credit card, a Go! Mokulele airplane, three buses on borrowed fare, a one-mile hike down a desolate coral road, a six-mile hitchhike and help from no less than 12 kind strangers.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important that I be there because I promised I would. See, my long-lost sisterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dadâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;my estranged biological fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is a master of not doing what he says he will do.

The Maui County Fair; custody court dates.

When I was a toddler, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d sit on the lanai steps waiting for him; momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sad, careful watch painted in the kitchen window from dawn to dusk.

In my life, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been little better than him. But I vowed Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be better today.

Along the way to Kapolei, I sit next to a man wearing Captain America pajamas and a Rolex who smells like donuts. A woman boxes the ears (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Faka!â&#x20AC;?) of a toothless man two seats away. She hugs me goodbye. A rather well-dressed womanâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;carrying only a roll of toilet paperâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;stares at me like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the Antichrist. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hello, lady,â&#x20AC;? I tweet. A nice old man named Ron forcibly gives me his UH Warriors umbrella to keep me safe from the sun.

But leave it to me to leave my wallet on the bus. In it was my driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s license, my return ticket and more than every cent to my name. Luckily, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d already talked story and exchanged numbers with the Molokaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i man who ďŹ nds it. Angelically apropos, his name is Pono.

So after the beach BBQ reception at Barberâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Point Lighthouseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a meal my long-lost sister made herself (along with her bouquet, from â&#x20AC;&#x153;a twelve pack of rosesâ&#x20AC;?)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;I skip the sleepover and solicit a ride to Waikiki.

I meet Pono at his hotelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bar, where he returns my wallet and we exchange life stories. A few drinks do not seem sufďŹ cient reward, so I buy him midnight dinner at a 24-hour diner. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not fond of my plan to roam until morning, so I lie and tell him Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m calling a cab. Pono and I part ways.

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free WiFi in the hotel lobby. An all-Oakley clad middle-aged man shows up with his laptop. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s respectful and chatty, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m tired. His name is Jim and he admits the obvious: heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lonely.

Conversations with strangers always help me catch my second wind, so Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve soon convinced him to wander Waikiki with me. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Adventure,â&#x20AC;? I urge.

Jim is witty and we walk for hours.

Early on, we saunter into Senor Frogs where the ďŹ&#x201A;oors feel made of glue. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my 26th birthday, but the crowd makes me feel ancient. I put on my sunglasses so I can smirk and snicker.

Last call. Flood lights on. Jim and I adventure until the number 19 bus comes â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;round at 4:46am. I almost miss it, but Jim ďŹ&#x201A;ags it down. I run, shouting goodbyes, knowing heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll remember me longer than he should.

The quiet bus driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name is Charles. His eyes say heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s smart and I like him instantly.

Later, he stops the bus so we can have a cigarette. The only other riderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name is Steve. He does not smoke but retrieves a stack of Star Advertisers and hands them out to joggers, Charles and me. I learn he does this everyday, all day. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I tried giving one lady one newspapah, and she said â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;NO!â&#x20AC;&#x2122; jus liâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dat.â&#x20AC;? Steve mimics a snarling, cornered cat. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I jusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; trying foâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; give her one newspapah?! Eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ryone needs newspapah.â&#x20AC;? Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a ďŹ&#x201A;ash of something generous and longing in the way he matter-of-factly folds his hands.

After the next stop, Steve slides into the seat closest to me and points at the A1 headline. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Prem. Preemâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;what dat says?â&#x20AC;?

Steve cannot read. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Premier,â&#x20AC;?Isay,andreadthearticlealoud.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about a new anti-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;iceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ad campaign.

Though Steveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got his teeth, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s little wonder why heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homeless. I ask him why anyway. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hard.â&#x20AC;? he says simply. I can only nod.

A few minutes later, he proposes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nah! Steve, I will just disappoint you.â&#x20AC;?

He throws his head back to laugh. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll marry you tonight.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sorry, Steve. I have to go home.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;When?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Right now.â&#x20AC;?

I get to the airport three hours ahead of my ďŹ&#x201A;ight. I practice circus contortion and get my ďŹ rst winks in 24 hours. I snore, uncaring, until OGG. But I make it. â&#x2013;

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid To share or save: mt.hy.pr/1503k

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

HOROSCOPE

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

Sign Language

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7

1. C CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) I’m glad you no longer feel you require approval from others to follow your heart’s desires. However, hiding your romantic or sexual interests because that approval (which, yes, you no longer need, but still want) won’t be forthcoming is a bad idea, almost as bad as desperately requiring their validation.

Whether you meet their prudish or snobbish standards is irrelevant; you deserve to live how you want to live. If they don’t like it, they can suck it. Don’t tiptoe around their delicate porcelain sensibilities. Smash them to bits if you have to. Most importantly, though—just live your life.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) The thing about depression is that those who suffer it often feel isolated and alone. They will frequently rebuff offers of help, or try to make you feel stupid or rude for thinking they even need it. Of course, sometimes you might be acting too much the mother hen, but it’s your job to figure out if that’s the case, or if these are just ill-tuned defense mechanisms going off. If someone really could use the hand they’re so reluctant to take, it’s your job to figure out how to give it to them despite their own resistance. Be creative and kind here, please. That’s the only thing that’ll do the trick.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Leos can be very selfish. This we know and accept about you. What you’re supposed to be learning isn’t shame about knowing what you want and pursuing your desires, but determining which ones you should go for, and which are best left alone and, hopefully, eventually, forgotten. Having an affair would be an example of one of these selfish desires whose pursuit would be a mistake, no matter how you twist and turn and rationalize it. Many other choices fall into the same category. Since one or more of these is likely to tempt you this week, remember my words and resist their allure.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) There’s almost always a graceful way to deal with awkward or painful social situations; it’s just finding and executing it in a timely manner that’s difficult. Everyone’s gone to sleep kicking themselves over something they said that day, or wishing they’d been more polite, funny, or kind. Finding the compassionate, humorous, or empowering way through these delicate scenarios is very difficult; nevertheless that’s the tricky challenge you must face this week. Your goal is to avoid any late night selfkicking. Easier said than done, I know. However, just stay present and pay attention and you shouldn’t have a problem.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Even when you think things are really bad, remember: they could always be worse. It’s tempting to complain and feel miserable about your circumstances (and I’m sure many in your boat do just that), but it’s also completely unproductive.

Before you open your mouth to bitch about this or that, ask yourself whether moaning about your dissatisfaction will do any good—that is, actually catalyze change. If it won’t, shut up and focus your energies towards looking at the bright side of things—even if those only exist in contrast with other potentially worse situations you could end up in, otherwise.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Pisceans are not known for their unshakeable connections to reality. In fact, your loose grasp of the concept is the fuel for your incredible intuition, inspiring creativity, and powerful empathy. However, it can also lead to some unhealthy patterns, particularly in relationships, where you can come to rely too much on the other person’s perspective—which is hardly unbiased. This is when you could really benefit from the advice of a third party whose only agenda is your (and possibly your relationship’s) happiness. Yes, that might mean you have to pay someone to play this role. No, going without is not a viable plan.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) I’m an easy crier. I rarely weep in real life situations, but sit me in front of a sentimental commercial and I’ll be reaching for a tissue before its 30 seconds are up. Instead of being embarrassed that my emotions are so easily tapped, I feel lucky. So many people have made themselves numb to the (sometimes painful) beauty of life; I feel confident that my way, if wetter, works better for me. Shedding tears so easily isn’t something I recommend; however, allowing your most tender feelings to live a little closer to the surface, where they can at least be seen, would be a good idea this week.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Everyone’s had the experience of someone else’s generosity turning out to be so much of a hassle that you wish they’d never bothered. This isn’t always about steel cable strings attached. Sometimes it’s just that ill-fitting handmade sweater or hideous knickknack you must subsequently force yourself to wear/display to prevent hurt feelings. What you’re giving doesn’t feel like a red and green Christmas pullover—to you— but it may still be perceived as such by the recipient. Since I know you don’t want to be that person (“Where’s that fertility statuette I gave you?”), make sure what you’re offering is truly wanted—before you go to the effort.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) People do change—just not often (or even usually) the way or using the timetable we’d prefer. Most real transformation (beyond training someone not to leave the toilet seat up) must come from within, and can only happen if the person deeply and truly wants it. Quitting smoking is a cinch if someone wholeheartedly wants to; it’s when they’re doing it because someone else wants them to, because they “should,” or for some arbitrary reason, that it becomes nearly impossible. You can’t force things like this to happen. Knowing that, it’s your call: will you wait for them to choose the change you want, for themselves, learn to live with it, or split?

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) When things aren’t going the way you’d hoped or planned, you only really have three recourses: changing the situation to more closely resemble your desires, accepting what it is and letting go of those desires, or simply walking away, in hopes that you’ll find what you’re looking for, elsewhere. Only you can decide which of those is best here; however, I’m here to advise you to figure it out sooner, rather than later. The quicker you can make up your mind regarding what to do about your dissatisfaction, the better your resolution is likely to work out.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) When someone’s suffering and you can do something about it, you almost always have a duty to at least try to intervene, even if that’s awkward or difficult to do. It might be tempting to go about your intervention in a way that’s unlikely to succeed, just to get yourself off the hook, while relieving the pressures of your conscience. However, if your intention is truly to help relieve suffering, your job is to calculate the best way to effectively do so, with a minimum of consequences, not just go through the motions. That may require extraordinary effort or creative methods; here’s hoping you’re not too lazy to go there.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Marking your territory like a dog is hardly appropriate, yet you do need some clear way to delineate what’s yours, because people are crossing lines left and right. Instead of feeling besieged and helpless, you need to sit down (perhaps with some wise boundary-setter you know) and come up with some viable strategies for reclaiming some much-needed space that others have come to occupy and think of as their own. Avoid melodrama, anger, or recriminations; at least half of their trespassing is your own fault. But do get the space back; you sorely need it.

2. G 3. A

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