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MAYY 26, 2011 ✚ VOOLU LUME ME 14 ✚ ISSUEE 49 ✚ FREE

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “I’m desperate, here. I’m falling apart. The sound of my voice is driving me crazy...” pg.7


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Contents VOLUME 14

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Sum up your summer plans in four words or less. Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter Pack all my stuff Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Denial, anger, depression, booze Proofreader: Dina Wilson Read, write, read, write Intern: Anna Such Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Ben Lowenthal, Avery Monsen, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com Beer, beer, beer, beer

ISSUE 49

4 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless talks Senate races and term limits. By the Numbers tracks teen pregnancies. A small town gets slightly bigger in News of the Weird. Quizunderstood asks about HECO quotes and Obama’s heritage. Eh Brah! catches a couple of punks. Open Letters doesn’t get the message. We explain why the cops are going after our anonymous online commenters, and why we’re putting up a fight.

11 FEATURE STORY From skin diving to ATV rides to a swinging good hike, we’ve got your ticket to fun and adventure, plus extensive event and camp listings. It’s the Summer Guide (don’t forget your sunscreen).

Graphic Designers: Mykal Aubry, Amy Mendolia & Christina Tarleton

18 FILM CRITIQUE

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Death to Imperialists

Barry Wurst II says The Hangover Part II is mostly just a headache.

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Work, work, work, work Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Going to San Francisco Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Hopefully not jail

19 Film Capsules/Listings

20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS A Filipino Fest in Kahului, Citizen Cope in Lahaina and a Central-to-South Memorial Day motorcycle extravaganza.

22 Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid

28 BACK PAGES Kula Kid is enraptured. Sign Language tells Cancer to conceal a crush.

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2010 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

30 Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

ON THE COVER: Modeled by Kenneth Talbot Photography by Sean Michael Hower Design by Chris Skiles

H A W A I I ’ S

P A R T Y

S T A T I O N

MAY 26, 2011

3


By the

BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

NUMBERS Coconut Wireless

44 percent 52 percent Portion of Hawaii teens who are sexually active

Portion of sexually active Hawaii teens who said they didn’t use a condom the last time they had sex

Hirono She Did More than a month after tossing his hat in the ring, Ed Case—who must have been feeling downright lonely in the race to replace outgoing Sen. Dan Akaka— finally has some company. Rep. Mazie Hirono, a rumored candidate from the moment Akaka announced he wouldn’t seek a fifth term, made it official this week, promising in an e-mail to “keep fighting for Hawaii” and imploring supporters to “help spread the word.” Hirono’s announcement comes on the heels of a widely reported poll that placed her and Case atop a field of potential Democratic contenders that includes Rep. Colleen Hanabusa and former Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann. Meanwhile, former Governor Linda Lingle—considered the Republican frontrunner —told the Star-Advertiser she won’t make her intentions known until August. Interestingly, Lingle and Hirono have history: in 2002 they squared off in a tight gubernatorial contest—with Lingle coming out on top.

Termed Out

17

Hawaii’s rank, among the 50 states, in teen pregnancy rate

10/21/11 Date on which California preacher Harold Camping says the world will end

While many subscribe to the old “politicians are like diapers” philosophy (you know: both should be changed frequently, especially when they’re full of, uh, it), Hawaii legislators face no term limits, and can serve as long as their constituents keep reelecting them. That fact is the backdrop for an interesting entry posted this week on the Hawaii House Blog (which is run by the Democratic majority), calculating the number of House members who have been replaced during the last three elections. Out of 53 members, the analysis found, 27 have gotten the boot since 2005. That’s more than a 50 percent turnover rate. The insinuation, presumably, is that the dead wood gets cleared out regardless.

Number of times Camping has accurately predicted the end of the world, out of two previous attempts

4

MAY 26, 2011

MAUIFEED.COM

A group of grad students wandering through a Hawaii forest may sound mundane (especially compared to reanimated dinosaurs), but it’s the setup of late author Michael Crichton’s final novel...

Teena Rasmussen, Environmental Coordinator Rob Parsons and Mayoral assistant Zeke Kalua, to answer questions

While many subscribe to the old “politicians are like diapers” philosophy, Hawaii legislators face no term limits. connections keep him in the job until he’s wearing diapers.

Officially Speaking If talking story with a bunch of politicians and county officials is your idea of a good time (and actually, if you care about Maui, it sort of should be) make plans to swing by the Lahaina Cannery Mall this Saturday, May 28. Mayor Alana Arakawa will be on hand from 2-4pm, along with West Maui Councilmember Elle Cochran, Public Works Director David Goode, Economic Development Coordinator

The Blog Roll

0

Sources: Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, Hawaii Youth Risk Behavior Survey, Guttmacher Institute, Associated Press

Then again, for every lawmaker who is forced back into the private sector there’s one whose name recognition and

NEWS BRIEFS

and discuss issues, part of Arakawa’s “County on Your Corner” series. It’s still months away, but one hot topic for Lahaina folks should be the annual Front Street Halloween celebration, which withered on the vine like a sickly gourd during the Tavares administration (during the campaign, both Cochran and Arakawa promised to revive the event). Showing up in costume to ask the question is, of course, optional. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1449c

What’s new at MauiTime’s blogs?

MAUIDISH.COM

What makes a superfood super? I don’t know...but the girls at Choice sure do. Their mantra is, “It’s not the food in your life, it’s the life in your food.” That definitely sets the tone for...

MAUIVENTS.COM

Oregon songbird Haile Loren— who’s playing Stella Blues June 16—has been busy since we last caught up with her. She’s had four albums in the top 10 in Japan, sold more than 35,000 records and...


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BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com +

EH BRAH!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD ENGENDERING EQUALITY The rights of women are severely restricted in Pakistan’s tribal areas and among Muslim fundamentalists, but the rights of the country’s estimated 50,000 “transgenders” blossomed in April when the Pakistani Supreme Court ordered the government to accept a “third sex” designation on official documents (instead of forcing a choice of “male” or “female”). The court further recommended that transgenders be awarded government job quotas and suggested “tax collector” as one task for which they are particularly suited, since their presence at homes and businesses still tends to embarrass debtors into paying up quickly.

DEPOPULATED The Census Bureau got it right this time around for Lost Springs, Wyoming. In 2000, it had missed 80 percent of the population (counting 1 instead of 5). The new total (4) is correct, since two people subsequently died, and one moved in.

BRAIN ARTS Occasionally—as News of the Weird has reported—patrons of art galleries mistake ordinary objects as the actual art (for example, solemnly “contemplating” a broom inadvertently left behind by a janitor), and sometimes the opposite mistake occurs. At the Boijmans van Beuningen museum in Rotterdam in May, a wandering patron absent-mindedly traipsed through a re-creation of Wim

T. Schippers’s floor-level Peanut Butter Platform—a 40-square-foot installation of the creamy spread. (The museum manager had declined to fence in the exhibit, which he said would spoil its beauty.)

REDNECKS ON PARADE (1) Sharon Newling, 58, was arrested in Salisbury, North Carolina, in April and charged with shooting at her stepson with a .22-caliber rifle. She denied shooting “at” him, but said she was just shooting toward him “to make him stop working on his truck.” (2) A 25-year-old man in Okaloosa County, Florida, was arrested and charged with misdemeanor trespassing after he entered the Club 51 Gentlemen’s Club, from which he had been banned after a February incident. The man told police that he knew he had been banned from a strip club but couldn’t remember which one.

AND HE SOLD NUCLEAR SECRETS ON CRAIGSLIST Filipino Henson Chua, working in the U.S., was indicted in March for illegally bringing back into the country an American-made military spy plane and openly offering it for sale for $13,000 on eBay. Sophisticated equipment such as the RQ-11B “Raven” Unmanned Aerial Vehicle requires high-level government approval to prevent acquisition by U.S. enemies. ■

This is for the two drunk jerkoffs who showed up at the park when I was playing catch with my kid and started shouting unsolicited “pointers” at him, laced with vulgarities. I tried ignoring you, tried reasoning with you, tried shouting at you. Finally you forced me to stop playing with my son—something I get to do only a few hours each week because of my hectic work schedule, though I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that—and come over and get in your faces. Honestly—you’re young dudes on Maui. Was that really the best thing you could think of to do on a sunny Saturday? Sorry your dads didn’t spend more time on you. Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1449n

QUIZunderstood 1. Complete this statement, from HECO vice president Robbie Alm: “Like Hawaii, Japan is looking to better use _______.”

2. This week, President Obama visited the village where his great-greatgreat grandfather lived. Where is it?

3. Which of the following is not an English translation of “kahului”?

A. An athletic contest

B. A prison guard

C. A variety of sweet potato

See answers, page 29

MAY 26, 2011

7


BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

MPD Targets MauiTime Commenters Subpoena called ‘an overzealous reaction’ by media attorney

I

f you’ve recently left a comment on MauiTime’s Web site, your personal information could soon be in the hands of the Maui Police Department. Last week, MPD and the county prosecutor’s office issued a subpoena ordering the release of Internet Protocol, or IP, addresses for all comments left at mauitime.com during a specified 24-hour period. The subpoena bars MauiTime from “notifying the account holders,” as that could “jeopardize [a] felony investigation.” But the comments—totaling more than two dozen—were posted in response to a story and video depicting an altercation between Publisher Tommy Russo and MPD Officer Nelson Johnson. On the night of April 12, Russo encountered the crew of reality star Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman filming in the county-owned Wailuku parking lot bound by Market, Main, Church and Vineyard streets. Russo says that when he approached the crew and identified himself as a newspaper publisher, a member of Chapman’s security team pushed him, struck him in the face and took his cell phone. After Russo retrieved his phone and police arrived on the scene, he shot video that shows

Officer Johnson snatching the camera out of his hand, at which point Russo says, “I just got hit in the mouth by you.” Russo says Johnson later twisted his arm behind his back and held him deliberately for an extended period while Russo pleaded for help. Russo was never arrested or charged with any crime related to the incident. Neither was Chapman’s security guard or any member of Chapman’s crew. Nearly a month later, the altercation remains under investigation—and Officer Johnson remains an active member of the force. Now, MPD has launched another investigation, into an anonymous mauitime.com comment they claim may amount to “terroristic threatening,” defined in the Hawaii Revised Statutes as threatening “by word or conduct, to cause bodily injury to another person or serious damage to property of another or to commit a felony.” MPD Detective Stephen Orikasa, who is investigating the case, told us the department plans to use the IP addresses to “identify the individual” who left the comment and to interview him or her. He said the terroristic threatening charge may be altered, depending on what the investigation reveals. “We aren’t going after [MauiTime],” he added.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE First and foremost, I want to assure MauiTime readers and the community at large that we plan to fight this subpoena, protect the identities and First Amendment rights of our online commenters and uphold the Constitutional guarantee of a free press. I know that comments—especially anonymous comments—can be nasty.

BY TOMMY RUSSO SCAN FOR AAN.ORG RESOLUTION »

especially alternative newspapers, stand for. In fact, this week the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies—of which MauiTime is a member—adopted a resolution that reads, in part: “The Board of Directors of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies CONDEMNS the attempt by Maui authorities to force this disclosure, and SUPPORTS the right

MPD is asking us to take the first, perilous step down a very slippery slope that could quickly and dramatically erode basic free speech protections. 5:00 - 6:30PM

8

MAY 26, 2011

Many such comments have been directed at me. But I also know that free speech is a fundamental, essential right upon which our society is built. To violate that basic principle, even in the face of pressure from government officials and law enforcement, would undermine what MauiTime has fought for since its founding and what newspapers,

of MauiTime and Tommy Russo to oppose this subpoena and CALLS ON the district attorney of Maui to immediately withdraw this subpoena and cease all efforts to chill the free speech rights of MauiTime readers.” I believe the subpoena is flawed for a number of reasons. First, I do not believe the comment in question amounts to terroristic

The subpoena is accompanied by an unattached printout with one highlighted comment and a handwritten note reading, “Specifically this posting.” Attempts to reach both Maui County Prosecuting Attorney John Kim and Police Chief Gary Yabuta were not immediately successful. Russo is due in court June 3 to answer the subpoena. Reached for comment, Thomas Burke, a California-based media attorney, said the subpoena “appears to be an overzealous reaction to an article that elicited a variety of comments.” Tim Redmond, executive editor of the San Francisco Bay Guardian and First Amendment chair of the national Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, took things a step further. “This is a dangerous and unwarranted intrusion into the privacy rights of MauiTime readers and the First Amendment rights of the paper,” Redmond wrote in an e-mail. “I can’t think of anything more likely to have a chilling effect on free speech than the thought that the police would get the identities of anyone who happened to criticize them.” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1449u threatening. Second, I believe the Hawaii media shield law, which was recently extended by the state legislature and protects journalists from being forced to reveal sources and unpublished information, may apply in this case. Third, I believe MPD is overstepping its bounds by requesting IP addresses for all comments during a 24-hour period, implicating commenters whose words may be critical of Officer Johnson and MPD but in no way amount to criminal statements. Finally, I believe MPD is mistaken in its assertion that an IP address—which is frequently tied to a group of users on the same Internet connection, often in different households—will necessarily lead to the individual who posted the comment. In the end, this is about more than a handful of commenters at mauitime.com. This is about everyone who has ever posted a comment on the Internet and assumed they were protected by the First Amendment. MPD is asking us to take the first, perilous step down a very slippery slope that could quickly and dramatically erode basic free speech protections. Where will it stop? If it’s up to us, it’ll stop right here. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1449p


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2011 SPEARING SOME FUN THIS SEASON

SKIN DIVING SWINGING BRIDGES ATV ADVENTURES ...AND MORE

Yeah, relatively speaking, our summers are pretty damn endless. So why a summer guide? Well, why not? The kids are out of school, the weather’s better than ever and you’re itching to show off that bod you’ve been working on (or not).

This year, we decided to highlight three less-publicized activities—two on land, one under the sea—that may not top everyone’s must-do list but are nonetheless well worth checking

Skin Deep

BY ANU YAGI

Underwater spear fishing takes time—and skill—to master, but it’s a skill worth revering

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everent invigoration. It effuses from the countenance of everyone who emerges from the ocean—even those who’ve just been pummeled by the blender of shore break. But above us boiled-lobstercolored beachgoers is an extraordinary league of underwater hunters—skin divers—who have mastered the mysterious, mercurial underwater realm. Diving without the aide of oxygen tanks, success in their challenging sport is inextricably tied to how long they can hold their breath—sometimes spending upwards of two minutes underwater, stalking their prey. They do it for sport and sustenance and above all, passion. Searching for inspiration? Look no further than Kimi Werner. She’s a buxom wahine skin diver who looks like she’d be as at home on the runway as she has proven to be underwater (she is, in fact, a model). She’s become the cover girl for her sport—a heralded underwater femme fatale who in 2008 won the Underwater Society of America’s U.S. National Skin Diving Championships in Newport Rhode Island. And I want to be just like her. In a story for Skin Diver Magazine, she

recounts her battle with the “huge striper” that earned her win: “Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a very big fish [but] I knew that I had no time to go back to the surface to breathe up. Knowing that this would be my only chance, I extended my 90cm gun out as far as I could and with a couple of strong kicks, I launched on the huge fish. As soon as I thought I was in range, I pulled the trigger and saw my shaft go all the way through the bass. I wanted that fish in hands right then and there, so I just forced him in and tried to grab his tail so that I could slide my other hand into his gills...Grabbing his tail was hard and I was being flopped around like a rag doll…I need air so I kicked up to the surface and both our heads broke the water at the same time. The fish freaked out and bashed his head back and forth, making huge splashes. I let go of his gills with one hand so that I could reach for my knife; he then slammed his head right into my face and I felt my cheek start to sting with pain. I finally brained him and repeated the process about three times, just to make sure he wouldn’t be surprising me [by] coming back to life.” But in my pursuit of emulating Werner, I encountered one glaring glitch: See, I own an oddball old book, The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Skin Diving by Shaney Frey, with a 1965 copyright (Doubleday & Company)

out, for beginners and those who know the Valley Isle like the back of their sun-kissed hands. As ever, this issue is augmented with extensive event, workshop and camp listings,

that’s betrayed by recommendations to keep dimes handy for emergency payphone calls and to “never molest any underwater animal” (I suppose terrestrial beasts are out of luck). Except for my awkward attempts at snorkeling (sometimes even sans neon-colored noodle, if that earns me any street cred), diving into Frey’s text is the closest I’ve been to skin diving. So this summer, armed with this rotting (and rather worthless) little book, my SPF 5,000 and the pointiest stick I could find, I thought I might try my hand at spear fishing. But avid diver and friend of the paper Rudi King warned that skin diving spearfisherman can be protective of their trade secrets, their special spots, and apprehensive about inferior divers. “If someone shoots and misses,” King explained, “it trains the fish.” This information halted me in my tracks. So instead I started with the first recommended step: practicing in a pool, standing in waist deep water and learning how to breathe with a snorkel. My ineptitude brimming with completeness, this is the only step I’ve mastered. And the more I look into things the more I think that’s where I belong: out of harm (and fishermen’s) way. But at least in my unfortunately uneventful exploration of skin diving, I’ve peeked into a sport that deserves reverence that the ocean in turns affords us. And until the morning I wake up having traded lives with Werner, I’ll just pretend my neon noodle is a spear gun. While I trust you don’t need to be reminded to not molest underwater creatures this summer (or, obviously, ever), here are a few excerpts from The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Skin Diving’s chapter on “Equipment and How to Choose It.” It’s information I found helpful for beginners

offering a little something for everyone, particularly the keiki. We may get warm weather on every page of the calendar, but there’s only one summer—so go enjoy it. ➜

to outfit their adventure: The Mask. Masks made with very soft rubber will collapse underwater [while] hard rubber or plastic masks are uncomfortable. The Snorkel. You can measure he width of the mouthpiece by placing your thumb and forefinger on either end of it and, holding your fingers that far apart, measure them against your mouth. If your fingertips touch the corners of your mouth the snorkel mouthpiece is too small… If your fingertips touch your face just about three-eights of an inch, or a little less, on either side of your mouth, it will be close to a perfect fit. The Fins increase your leg-power threefold, causing you to move faster and farther with slow, relaxed movement. They should fit as well as a good pair of shoes. The Safety Vest is by far the most important piece of skin diving equipment... It should have a (carbon dioxide) cartridge and a mouth inflation valve [that] can be easily “popped” to inflate the vest [and] float you safely on the surface. The Diver’s Flag and Surface Float will protect you from boat traffic [and is] a good resting place whenever you or your buddy become tired. The Skin Diver’s Knife should have a stainless steel blade, with saw teeth on one edge and one smooth edge. The Weight Belt is necessary to offset the buoyancy of the wet suit, [but] is not needed if you are not wearing protective clothing. The First-aid Kit will complete your equipment list. (A)s with many other outdoor sports, you may cut a finger or scratch yourself. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1449a1

MAY 26, 2011 11


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2011 BY SABRINA SKILES

Riding Dirty

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West Maui ATV tour isn’t a high-speed adventure—but it’s still a fun ride

About halfway up, at 2,000 feet elevation, you’ll have the chance to stop and take in the views at “The Garden.” Frankie took over this part of the tour, explaining and discussing the plants, flowers and fruits. After a short hike, you’re greeted with a spectacular view of the Kahoma Valley, which leads to the Wall of Tears— one of the wettest spots on Earth with as many as 17 waterfalls flowing at once. After that it’s back to the dune buggy and a two minute ride up to the end. And what better way to refresh yourself after a long, dusty ride than three water slides pouring directly into a man-made spring. This is where the keiki take over, but parents (other than those with back problems or other health issues) will want to take part as well. In addition to the water slides, there’s a kayak you can paddle out. Glen and Frankie also offered fresh pineapple, granola and ice-cold bottled water to gear us up for the ride down. While my husband got to take the wheel on the way up, I made sure he knew it was my turn on the way down (women are better drivers, after all). Before checking in you’ll be asked if you want the short ride or the long ride (with the water slides). Definitely opt for the longer ride—a lot more bang for your buck. Bottom line: this is a great experience for couple and families, and really for anyone looking to see another, less traveled side of the island. Go get dirty! ■

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ant to traverse trails and roads inaccessible to the general public? Want to experience the unspoiled West Maui Mountains with breathtaking views of Lahaina Town and Lanai? And want to do it all while straddling an ATV? Kahoma Ranch

We were instructed to meet at Lahaina Gateway Center, then loaded into a van and driven to the ranch above Lahaina. After a brief meet-and-greet, our guide, Frankie, and his cohort, Glen, led a safety briefing and vehicle orientation. The vehicles, off-road Polaris Rangers, are two-seaters; depending on how many you have in your party, you may get to ride along with a guide. As you go along, drinking in unbelievable

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AFTER A SHORT HIKE, YOU’RE GREETED WITH A SPECTACULAR VIEW OF THE KAHOMA VALLEY, WHICH LEADS TO THE WALL OF TEARS—ONE OF THE WETTEST SPOTS ON EARTH. offers all of the above. For those apprehensive about the word “ATV,” fear not. Kahoma Ranch emphasizes “guided tour” over “thrill-seeking adventure,” though the trip still packs plenty of fun.

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views and spotting wildlife and livestock, you’ll be glad this isn’t a high-speed affair. The opportunity to take photos is limited, and because of the dust and mud you won’t want to bring too much fancy equipment; a simple point-and-shoot is best.

MAY 26, 2011 13


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o call a hike that’s been featured in an Adam Sandler movie a hidden gem might be a stretch, but the Waihe‘e Valley, or “swinging bridges” trail still flies mostly under the radar. That’s a good thing, because while the crowds rush to Hana or Iao Valley, you can usually enjoy this adventurous-buteasy jaunt in relative solitude. The trail runs through private property, so the first thing you have to do is sign in and pay a fee at the entrance booth ($3 per person for kama‘aina). (The booth also sells drinks and snacks, so you can stock up if you forgot yours.) To get there, follow Market Street past Wailuku Town until it becomes Highway 330, then hang a left on Waihe‘e Valley Road. The trail closes promptly at 5pm, and while the whole hike can be done in under two hours if you hustle, it’s best to get started early. I said swinging bridges is easy, and though that’s true (my intrepid four-yearold tackled it gamely) it’s not a slipper-clad stroll—you’ll want to wear sturdy shoes and clothes that you don’t mind getting wet. And if you have an intense fear of heights, you might want to think twice. After winding along an irrigation ditch (the subject of an ongoing water-rights controversy) for a little more than a mile, the trail arrives at the first of two narrow bridges. The spans have been recently revamped (probably to accommodate the aforementioned Sandler flick, Just Go With It) but are still wobbly, single-file, wire-and-plank contraptions. Depending on the season, the river bed they traverse may be dry, but both are high enough to induce a little vertigo. Once the bridges have been bested, you’ll have to ford a pair of wet, slippery crossings that provide a fine opportunity to stop and cool off if you’re so inclined. But your real swimming experience lies ahead—after cutting through some thick jungle undergrowth, the trail ends at a delightful, shaded swimming hole, small yet deep and refreshing. (There aren’t

advised to don suits ahead of time.) After a dip and a nibble, simply retrace

THE HIKE ISN’T DIFFICULT BUT IT’S NOT A SLIPPER-CLAD STROLL, EITHER—YOU’LL WANT STURDY SHOES AND CLOTHES THAT YOU DON’T MIND GETTING WET. AND IF YOU HAVE AN INTENSE FEAR OF HEIGHTS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK TWICE.

banyan and kukui nut trees, fruit-laden lilikoi vines, creaking bamboo and ornate ginger plants. Again, be sure you make it back out before 5pm, as being on-property after-hours is strictly forbidden. Hidden gem or not, this is one of those quintessential Maui experiences that’s equally rewarding for first-time visitors, long-time residents and, apparently, Hollywood mega-stars. ■

many places to change save under a towel or behind a tree, so the modest are well-

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your steps, re-wobbling across the bridges and admiring the ample flora—including


Summer Listings

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ummertime conjures up memories of hot lazy days of my youth in Lahaina, forced into summer pals programs where I tried enjoy basketball games at the West Maui Civic Center and their weird sack lunches. Now summertime means I have work days filled with a talkative five year oldâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but luckily thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a variety of activities and camps available to keep her busy and my sanity intact. Valley Isle Gymnastics is centrally located in Kahului and offers camps for boys and girls beginning May 30 and running through the end of summer. This sporty camp offers formal

visual arts education center on Maui, founded in 1934. Kids will enjoy clay, painting, printmaking, theatre and yoga Monday to Friday 9am-4pm. Kaluanui has themed weeks to mix it up, like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bugginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Out,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ocean Commotionâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Road to Hana.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Four daily workshops are held in professionally equipped working artist studios, many of which have been converted from the original Baldwin family home offering an authentic sense of history and character to the already creative environment,â&#x20AC;? explains Kelly McHugh, youth programs manager at the Hui. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Classes are taught by teaching artists, creative individuals that talk the talk and walk the walk, exhibiting and creating their own artwork as well as arming





LISTINGS

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gymnastics training on stretching, vault, bars, beam, floor and trampoline. Rusty Gage and Jeff Joslin opened the center in 2004, seeing the need for gymnastics for all Maui children and not merely those interested in competitive training. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[This] camp is for anyone who wants to see what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like to be in the gymnastics environment,â&#x20AC;? says Gage. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our instructors are mindful to meet each athlete where they are, and quickly asses immediate and long-term goals and adjust instruction accordingly.â&#x20AC;? You can reserve by the day or week, with morning, afternoon or allday sessions, by calling 871-6116. Camp Kaluanui at the Hui Noâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;eau is offering daily or weekly art camp sessions for kids age 5-12. The Hui Noâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;eau is the leading

KEY: FREE EVENTS HIGHLIGHTED EVENTS ALL OTHER EVENTS

CAMPS Alexander Academy Dance Camps - June

6-July 22. Various camps for different levels and ages including ballet, creative movement, jazz, modern, etc. Kula, 8788970. alexanderacademy.info Gymnastics Camp - Mon-Fri. Co-ed keiki five-to 18-years-old. Kids train at their own level. Gymnastics warmup and training, Olympic apparatus, free time, snack time each day. 9am-3pm. $30-$50. Valley Isle Gymnastics, 250 Alamaha St., Kahului; 8716116; valleyislegymnastics.com Hawaiian Canoe Clubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kamaliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i Summer Enrichment Program - Mon-Fri. Keiki

others with the tools to create.â&#x20AC;? For more information or to register for camp call 572-6560 ext. 21. Sometimes the best things in summer are free. PaciďŹ c Whale Foundation is offering no-cost boat cruises for kamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;aina families on Sunday, June 5 to celebrate World Oceans Day. Reservations are required for these narrated trips that will depart from Maalaea and Lahaina harbors. Take your keiki to see and learn about Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ocean environment and see turtles, dolphins and other ocean life. PWF also offers a summer ocean camp out of their Discovery Center in Maalaea, 8am-4pm starting May 31. - Jen Russo

Read on for more fun summer activities...

10-to 14-years old. Lessons in Hawaiian culture, arts, games, food preparation, religion, navigation, oli (chants) and hula. Free (fees apply for off-island excursions). 1-4pm. Hoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;aloha Park, Kahului Harbor (yellow and red canoe hale), 1 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 893-2124; hawaiiancanoeclub.org Imua Camp & Community Service Opportunities - June 11 - 17. Camp Imua

is a week-long overnight summer camp for mentally and physically challenged keiki on Maui. This year, the camp celebrates its 35th summer. Want to help out? There are lots of ways, from donations to volunteering! E-mail for more information. Imua Family Services, Cameron Center, Wailuku; 2447467, info@imuafamilyservices.com; imuafamilyservices.com Kaluanui Camp - June 6 - Aug 5. Nurture

keikiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s creative spirit and developing

*With Valid Hawaii I.D. Limit one per person Not valid with other offers

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appreciation for the arts at this friendly, engaging camps. Weekly sessions include â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Time Travelerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Palette Knifeâ&#x20AC;? (June 6-10), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ocean Commotionâ&#x20AC;? (June 13-17), â&#x20AC;&#x153;One Flew Over the Nene Nestâ&#x20AC;? (June 20-24), â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Road to Hanaâ&#x20AC;? (June 27-1), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Animal Houseâ&#x20AC;? (July 4-8), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bugginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Outâ&#x20AC;? (July 11-15), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Raiders of the Lost Artifactâ&#x20AC;? (July 18-22), â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Cryptic Zooâ&#x20AC;? (July 2529), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whoseewhatsies, Gadgets and Gizmosâ&#x20AC;? (August 1-5). $65/85 day, $195/244 weekly. Hui Noâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;eau Visual Arts Center, 2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-6560;huinoeau.com Kamp Krazy Tales - May 31-June 4. TuesSat. Drama and music camp at the ProArts Playhouse in Azeka Kihei. No experience necessary! Ages 5-10. $150. Marti Kluth, 276-4847, mkluth.com Lahaina Animal Farm Camp - Daily. Fun

filled days on the farm. Petting Zoo, fishing for tadpoles, treasure hunts, and tortoise

MAY 26, 2011 15


2011 races. Ages 5 and up. 9am-1-pm. Launiupoko, Lahaina. info@lahainaanimalfarm.com, lahainaanimalfarm.com MAPA Dance and Drama Camps - Wailuku and Kahana. 244-8760, mauiacademy.org MHS Animal Camp - Mon-Fri. Every day at

this camp is jam packed with cool activities, M from animal-themed games and crafts to special guest speakers to cuddle and care time with the critters. For keiki six-to 12-years-old and “Animal Investigators” for keiki 11-to 14-years-old. . 8am-2pm. Maui Humane Society, 1350 Meha Meha Loop, Puunene; 877-3680 Na Kai ‘Ewalu’s Summer Paddling Program for Keiki - Daily (except Sun &

Fri). Learn how to paddle canoe Hawaiian style and compete in summer regattas. Plus paddle-making, traditional sailing, ocean safety and swimming workshops. $50. Ho’aloha Park, Kahului Harbor (purple canoe hale), 1 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; Jimbo Eitel: 344-0637 Ocean Camp - Daily. Keiki take over the

Pacific Whale Foundation’s Discovery Center in Ma’alaea, stocked with kid size science equipment, craft supplies, games books and audio visual center. Features include excursions to nearby Maui Ocean Center, 1 to 10 educator ratio, and staff lifeguards for field trips. 8am-4pm. $67-77 per day. Pacific Whale Foundation Discovery Center, Ma’alaea. 249-8811 ext. 1, mauioceancamp.org Pi’iholo Stables Summer Camps - Daily. At this stables’ weekly summer camps, learn safe horsemanship by riding twice daily and taking care of horses. Plus, learn about equine behavior, nutrition and more. Multi-child and early registration discounts available. Pi’iholo Stables, 1156 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 298-7390; piiholo.com Roots - “A Bugs Life” June 13-17, everyday is a different insect or arachnid. “Around the World in 5 Days” June 20-24, each day is a new country. Ages 4 -10. Roots Maui, Huelo. 250-2036. rootsmaui.com Sleep with the Sharks - Fri, Jun 24.

Learn about the nocturnal lives of marine animals in this fascinating after-dark exploration of the aquarium. Features hands-on lessons, movies, ocean-themed games and craft projects, turtle-feeding and more. Reservation required. Aquarium members receive 15 percent-off discount. (Sleepover concludes on Saturday mornings at 8:30am.). $60. 5:30pm. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea; 2707075; mauioceancenter.com Surfer Girls - July 9-29th. Girls from

around the world welcome. Surf coaching, hiking, SUP, adventure. Lodging, meals all inclusive. mauisurfergirls.com True North Equestrian Kids’ Camp -

Mon-Fri. A horsemanship camp exploring the thrilling world of English hunter/ jumper riding, for riders of all ages and

16 MAY 26, 2011

abilities. Plus, horse-related games and activities, equine care, and more. For keiki six-to 13-years-old. 9am-4pm. Double Trouble Stables, 268-3082; mauitruenorthequestrian.com West Side Theatre Camp - Mon-Fri. June

8th-July17th. 5 and a half week training for vocal performance and dance, culminating in performances of Disney’s Camp RockThe Musical. Completed grade 3 and up. Lahainaluna High School Music Building, Lahaina. registration required, $295 tuition. 661-1168, ttmwestmaui@aol.com YMCA Camps - Archery, Fitness, Cooking,

Swimming, Football and more. If there is a topic for enrichment, the Y has a camp for your kid. Sessions vary in time, dates and length. Maui Family YMCA, 242-9007. Youth Summer Art, Music and Tutoring Camp Program - Mon-Fri. Affordable art,

music and academic tutoring program, plus a full day camp for kids ages eight-to 18-years-old. Starting at $56 per week. 9am-5pm. WooHawaii Tutoring Learning Center and Studios, 95 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 344-8468; woohawaii.com

EVENTS Moonlight Tidepool Exploration - May

27 & 29, June 24 & 25, and August 26 & 27. Get up close with creatures like brittle stars, sea urchins, octopi and more. Sixyears-old and older. Wear sturdy shoes and bring a flashlight. Refreshments provided. Reservations required. $10 adults / $5 keiki. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ocean Store, 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100, Ma’alaea; 249-8977; pacificwhalestore.org Bailey House Museum Day - Sat, May 28. Celebrating Foster Care Month, the Bailey House Museum partners with Keiki Kokua to offer a free museum tour (11am) and potluck lunch (12pm), plus Hawaiian style activities throughout the day. Free. 10am-4pm. Bailey House Museum, 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 244-3326; mauimuseum.org / keikikokua.org Latin Swing Salsa Dance Classes - Sat,

May 28. Keiki and teens can learn cha-cha, salsa, swing, merengue, tango, and more. No partner necessary. $10. 12-1pm. Kihei Community Center, 303 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 891-8747;privateimagedance.com Ladies’ Day Out - May 28, June 14, July 4 & 23. Enjoy a special tour package that includes a guided walking tour (9:30am, 10:30am, 11:30am, 1pm and 2:30pm), lavender tea and scones and 10 percent-off bath and beauty products at the gift shop. Reservations required. $10. 9am-3pm. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-3004;aliikulalavender.com Explore All of the Ali’i Kula Lavendar Farm for Half the Price - May 30, June

9, 10, & 19, July 13, 14 & 30. Save 50 percent on all walking tours. With several tour start-time options (9:30, 10:30 & 11:30am, as well as 1 and 2:30pm)

there’s sure to be an option that’s perfect for you. Reservations required. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-3004;aliikulalavender.com “Hawai’i’s Unique Oceans” Drawing & Poetry Contest - Deadline: June 1. Keiki

(grades K-12) can submit their artwork or poetry representing the theme “Hawai’i’s Unique Oceans” and enter to win a Day Journey Pass to the aquarium as well as have their artwork on display at the June 8 World Oceans Day celebration. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 270-7000; mauioceancenter.com Family Fun While You Shop - The QKC has all sorts of fun events planned this summer, from their monthly Holokai Club (every first Saturday), to the Hurricane Expo (June 4, 10am-2pm), Father’s Day Celebration (June 11), Sanrio Store Celebration (June 18), Rainbow Children’s Choir (July 2, 2pm), and Back-to-School Event (July 30, 2-5pm). Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 877-3369;queenkaahumanucenter.com Lahaina Arts Association’s Art Fair Keiki Table - June 4, 5, 11 & 12 and July 9,

10, 30 & 31. Visitors and kama’aina alike are invited to take part in family-oriented projects and face painting for keiki. Free. 11am-4pm. Lahaina Banyan Tree, Front St., Lahaina; 661-0111; lahainaarts.com Huliau Youth Environmental Film Festival

- Sat, Jun 4. Students from 12 Maui schools will present their original short films, all on the subject of our precious environment. Proceeds benefit the Huliau Foundation’s unique, non-profit film program. $7 keiki / $15 adults / $30 reserved. 7:30-9pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-6969; mauihuliaufoundation.org / mauionstage.com Basketball Maui’s Night of Shooting Stars

LISTINGS by kumu hula Hokulani Holt. Featuring kapa costumes created by Wesley Sen, a Hawai’i Island kapa artisCatered by Soup to Nuts. Must be 21-years-old or older to attend. Seating is limited to 100 people. $45 members / $50 general. 5pm. Bailey House Museum, 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 244-3326;mauimuseum.org Date Night at the YMCA - Fri, Jun 10. Drop

off the kids and hit the town to find out! A light dinner and snacks will be provided, plus arts and grafts, games and a movie. For keiki two-to 12-years-old. $8 members / $16 non-members. 6-9:30pm. Maui Family YMCA, 250 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 242-9007 Upcountry Fair - Saturday, June 11 and

Sunday, June 12, 2011. 8 am-4pm. This year’s theme is Nana ‘Ike Kumu (Look to the Source), which celebrates the upcountry ranching and farming lifestyle that is unique to Maui while creating opportunities for Maui’s youth to develop an interest in agriculture, animal husbandry and ranching. Food, agriculture, entertainment, keiki tent. Free. Oskie Rice Field & Arena, Olinda Road, Makawao. information, call Brenda Kuala‘au at 808-870-9031 or emailupcountryfair@gmail.com Overnight Blast - June 11 & 12 and July

9 & 10. A pizza and s’more party with late night movie, swimming under the stars and a healthy breakfast. For keiki seven-to 14-years-old. Reservations required. $30 members / $60 non-members. 6pm-9am. Maui Family YMCA, 250 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 242-9007 Maui Film Festival - June 15-19. One of the isle’s most exciting annual events, over five days and nights in Kahului and Wailea. Also Taste of Chocolate, and Taste of Wailea culinary events. Bring a blanket and chairs for the celestial cinema under the stars, or get comfy at the MACC’s Castle Theater and McCoy Studio Theater. mauifilmfestival.com

- Sat, Jun 4. Two novelty basketball games help support youth basketball programs on Maui. The event features pregame food and entertainment (5pm), Celebrity All-stars vs. Camper All-stars (6pm), and Pro-Am All-stars contest (7pm). $5 general / free for keiki seven-years-old and younger. 5:309:30pm. War Memorial Gymnasium, Hana Hwy., Kahului; basketballmaui.com

Kids’ Day Out at the Lavender Farm Wed, Jun 22. This special event features face painting, mini bouquet-making, a treasure hunt and lavender cookie decorating. Lavender lemonade and shortbread cookies provided. Reservations required. $10. 10am Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-3004; aliikulalavender.com

Free Boat Excursions for World Oceans Day - Wed, Jun 8. In honor of World

Ebb & Flow Arts’ “A Little More Summer Music, Please” - Fri, Sat & Sun, June 24 -

Oceans Day, free one-hour cruises will be offered to kama’aina throughout the day. Includes on-board experts to help narrate the wildlife you may encounter. Departs from Ma’alaea Harbor. Free for kama’aina / $10 for non-residents. Pacific Whale Foundation, 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100, Ma’alaea; 249-8977; pacificwhale.org

July 16. World-renowned musicians present engaging, avant-garde performances at both Seabury Hall (Olinda Rd., Makawao) and Maui Music Conservatory (Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului). Features a celebrated cast of local musicians, dancers and artists. Free. 7:30pm.ebbandflowarts.org

Hina and Maui: The Story of Hawaiian Kapa Making - Fri, Jun 10. In honor of

15. Innovative games—including Wii DDR Energy and Fit—get your blood pumping (and belly aching from laughter). Sign up as an individual or with a group. Bring exercise clothes and bottled water. For those four-

Kamehameha Day, this original production will feature a presentation of the legend of Hina and Maui in hula and chant, written

Friday Night Fitness - June 24 and July


ARY R O P M CONTENTRY HITS COU

SIGNAL 24/7 STRONG NO BULL! A DIVISION OF

&217$&78672$'9(57,6(Â&#x2021; years-old and up. $4 members / $8 nonmembers. 6:30-8:30pm. Maui Family YMCA, 250 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 242-9007 â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ohana Day at the Lavender Farm - Sun,

Jun 26. Make a â&#x20AC;&#x153;tussie mussieâ&#x20AC;? (i.e. mini bouquet) and enjoy lavender tea and sconces at your leisure. Plus, receive 10 percent-off everything in the gift shop. Reservations required. $10. Aliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-3004;aliikulalavender.com

to kupuna. Features games, face painting, treasure hunts, mini bouquet-making, lavender potting, walking tours and live music. Plus, ono kine festival grinds like malasadas, shave ice, hot dogs, hamburgers, kettlecorn and even a watermelon-eating contest. $5 admission per car. 9am-2pm. Aliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 878-3004;aliikulalavender.com Sesame Street Live, 1-2-3 Imagine! with Elmo & Friends - Fri, Sat & Sun, July 29-

Enjoy the 20th Anniversary of Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ki Hoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alu (slack key) Guitar Festival with some of Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best slack key artists. The event also features local artisans and ono food from some of Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best restaurants and caterers. Free. 2-7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Pavilion/ Amphitheater, 242-7469; MauiArts.org

31. Elmo, Abby, Cadabby, Big Bird and all your kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; favorite Sesame Street characters will be on hand to entertain and delight. Full of energy and adventure, Ernie captains the high seas, Elmo dances to the rhythm of the African rainforest and Bert meets an octopus who as the blues. Too cool, huh?. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; mauiarts.org

Summer Theater Performances of Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;CAMP ROCK â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The Musicalâ&#x20AC;?

Family Day: A Community Celebration of the Arts - Sat, Jul 30. On the lush grounds of

- Directed by Kristi Scott, Theatre Theatre Maui students from this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summer camp present their showpiece project. Call after July 1 for showtimes and ticket information. Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina, HI, 96761, Lahaina; 661-1168

the Kalunui estate, this annual summer festival kicks-off the Huiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Youth Arts Exhibition. Enjoy live entertainment, interactive workshops, kite flying, face painting, games and scavenger hunts, plus create your own original works of art. Free. 10am-2pm. Hui Noâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;eau Visual Arts Center, 2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 5726560; huinoeau.com

Ki Hoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alu Guitar Festival - Sun, Jun 26.

Itty Bitty Independence Day Party - Fri,

Jul 1. Arts and crafts, activities, refreshments and fellowship especially for keiki 5-yearsold and younger (and their parents, of course!) RSVP by June 29. Free. 1011:30am Maui Family YMCA, 250 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 242-9007 Fourth of July Cruises - Mon, Jul 4. Enjoy

fireworks and Fourth of July festivities from the high seas, plus tasty pupus and drinks. Departs from both Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alaea (6:30pm, 6:45pm & 7pm) and Lahaina Harbors (7pm & 7:30pm). Reservations required. $69.95 aduls / $49.95 keiki / free for keiki 12-years-old and yo. Pacific Whale Foundation, 300 Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alaea Rd., Ste. 100, Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alaea; 249-8977; pacificwhale.org, L Sustainable Aloha Summer Fest - Sat, Jul 9. A pleasant Upcountry event for keiki

Keiki Kokuaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 6th annual Pizza Party on the Beach - Sun, Jul 31. This special event

for the isleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;keiki in careâ&#x20AC;? is filled with fun like games, prizes, a magic show, horseback riding and face painting. Please RSVP. 1-4pm. Baldwin Beach Park Pavilion, Hana Hwy., Paia; 573-4972;keikikokua.org Annual Wild Dolphin Sand Sculpture Contest - Sat, Aug 13. Held at the North end

of Keawakapu Beach, this beloved annual event is open to everyone from individual to group participants. Everyone gets something for participating and juried prizes include free tickets to PWF cruises and events, marine wildlife posters and books, and much more. 8am-12pm. Pacific Whale Foundationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ocean Store, 300 Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alaea Rd., Ste. 100, Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alaea; 249-8977; pacificwhale.org

MAY 26, 2011 17


BY BARRY WURST II

FILM

barry@mauitime.com

Been There, Drank That Unnecessary sequel rips off—but can’t top—the original The Hangover Part II

★★★★★

the pack—and the movie—together. Helms and Galifianakis go for broke and score occasionally by milking their characters’ growing desperation. As in the first film, Bartha, who is an able comic actor, is stuck on the sidelines. At one point, Mel Gibson, Liam Neeson and Bill Clinton were all supposedly lined up for cameos. None appear, and the film is actually poorer for it—after getting Mike Tyson to sing Phil Collins “In The Air Tonight” in the original, the filmmakers needed to one-up themselves. Despite all the noise, they don’t. The biggest jaw-dropper comes at a Thai strip club (where else?) but nothing here is as nutty or inventively funny as the footage of Tyson’s tiger being abducted in the first movie. The sequel does recycle plenty of the original’s jokes (the end-credit photo montage, a major highlight the first time around, feels especially forced). Which begs the question: why not stay home, save a few bucks and watch The Hangover? ■

So this time we’re going on a spa retreat, right?

Rated R/102 min.

T

wo years after the “Wolf Pack”—played again by Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Justin Bartha and Zach Galifinakis—tore up Las Vegas, then couldn’t remember what they tore, here comes the follow-up. It’s set in Thailand, but mostly it feels like the exact same movie. I didn’t fall for the original as hard as some, but it packed a few raunchy laughs and legitimate surprises. The sequel, meanwhile, starts off well, peaks about an hour in and then coasts to a letdown of a finish. The bigger-is-better approach is obvious from the start—the locations are gorgeous, the stakes are higher and the shock factor has been cranked. The initial scene with the pack waking up and realizing the trouble they’re in has the edginess of a thriller,

not surprising considering director Todd Phillips’s gift for dark comedy.

Cooper, simultaneously despicable and utterly charming, is still the glue that holds

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1449f

MAUI MUSIC FESTIVAL 2011 YOUTH PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA Pomaika’i Elementary School in Kahului June 13-18, 2011 from 8am - 4pm 8 years old to adults Learn to play a string instrument in a group setting and no previous experience is necessary. Join MYPO for a fun, intense musical study on the violin, viola, & cello. A great opportunity to hone and broaden music sNills and experiences  î hours each day Àlled Zith fun in musicianship, technique, tone production, chamber music, rhythm and performance. Excellent professional guest instructors. 7here Zill be classes in individual instruments, plus classes in music theory, ear training, chamber music, and beginning, intermediate and advanced orchestra. MYPO’s goal is to provide opportunities for students to learn to play a string instrument. Students already playing string instruments Zill continue their musical and technical sNills development and study Zith highly qualiÀed professional musicians and teachers from Las Vegas, O’ahu,Maui, & Japan. Tuition: $645.00. A registration fee of $50.00 is required and payment can be made online or mailed to “MYPO”, P.O. Box 6105, Kahului 96733. Tuition payments may be made in increments by mail or online atZZZ.mauiyouthphilharmonic.org. A Discount of $50.00 is offered if tuition is paid in full by Friday, June 10, 2011. Information and forms available on our Zebsite.

18 MAY 26, 2011

.com

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Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

FRONT STREET THEATER

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Fast Five - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 4:10), 7:10, 10:10. SAT-MON (1:00), 4:10, 7:10, 10:10. TUE-WED (1:00, 4:10), 7:10, 10:10. The Hangover Part II - R - THU-FRI (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-MON (2:30), 5:00, 7:30, 10:00. TUE-WED (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:45, 4:00), 7:15, 10:15. SAT-MON (12:45), 4:00, 7:15, 10:15. TUE-WED (12:45, 4:00), 7:15, 10:15. Priest (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:40), 7:20, 9:50. SAT-MON (1:45), 4:40, 7:2, 9:50. TUE-WED (12:45, 4:00), 7:15, 10:15. Rio (2D) - PG - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. Something Borrowed - PG13 - THU (4:40), 7:20, 9:50.

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. SAT-MON (1:30), 4:20, 7:10, 10:00. TUE-WED (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs. Evil (2D) - PG - THU (2:10, 4:20) Jumping the Broom - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. SAT-MON (1:35), 4:15, 6:55, 9:35. TUE-WED (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (11:00, 12:15, 2:15, 3:30, 5:30), 6:45, 8:30, 9:45. SAT-MON (11:00, 12:15, 2:15), 3:30, 5:30, 6:45, 8:30, 9:45. TUE-WED (11:00, 12:15, 2:15, 3:30, 5:30), 6:45, 8:30, 9:45. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (3D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 4:00, 4:30), 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15. SAT-MON (12:45, 1:00, 1:15), 4:00, 4:30, 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15. TUE-WED (12:45, 1:00, 1:15, 4:00, 4:30), 7:15, 7:45, 10:00, 10:15. POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - PG13 - THUFRI (11:45, 2:05, 4:25), 6:45, 9:05. SAT-MON (11:45, 2:05), 4:25, 6:45, 9:05. TUE-WED (11:45, 2:05, 4:25), 6:45, 9:05. Something Borrowed - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:55, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-MON (1:55), 4:35, 7:15, 9:55. TUE-WED (1:55, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. Thor (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:30, 9:15. SAT-MON (1:00), 3:45, 6:30, 9:15. TUE-WED (1:00, 3:45), 6:30, 9:15. Thor (3D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (11:15, 2:00, 4:15, 4:45), 7:00, 7:30, 10:10. SAT-MON (11:15, 2:00), 4:15, 4:45, 7:00, 7:30, 10:10. TUE-WED (11:15, 2:00, 4:15, 4:45), 7:00, 7:30, 10:10. Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family - PG13 - THU 6:45, 9:15 Water For Elephants - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45. SAT-MON (1:35), 4:15, 6:55, 9:35. TUE-WED (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:45.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Fast Five - PG13 - THU-WED 10:50, 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50. The Hangover Part II - R - THU-WED 10:40, 1:00, 3:20, 5:40, 8:00, 10:20. THU 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20. FRI-SUN 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20, 11:35. MON-WED 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20. Kung Fu Panda 2 (2D) - PG - THU-TUE 11:45, 2:00, 4:15, 6:30, 8:45, 11:00. WED 11:00, 2:00, 4:15, 6:30, 8:45, 11:00. Kung Fu Panda 2 (Dolby 3D) - PG - THU-WED 1:30, 3:45, 6:00, 8:15 Kung Fu Panda 2 (Tech 3D) - PG - THU-WED 10:30, 12:45, 3:00, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Priest (3D) - PG13 - THU-WED 11:30, 10:30.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) 13 Assassins - R - THU 11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. Bridesmaids - R - THU-WED 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:05, 9:40. The Hangover Part II - R - THU-WED 10:30, 12:50, 3:15, 5:45, 8:00, 10:20. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU-WED 10:15, 1:10, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55. Win Win - R - FRI-WED 10:20, 12:40, 3:00, 5:20, 7:40, 10:00.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-MON (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. TUE-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. Fast Five - PG13 - THU (1:00, 4:00), 7:05, 10:00. Kung Fu Panda 2 (Tech 3D) - PG - THU-FRI (2:00, 4:15), 7:00, 9:15. SATMON (2:00), 4:15, 7:00, 9:15. TUE-WED (2:00, 4:15), 7:00, 9:15. Thor (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:45. SAT-MON (1:30), 4:15, 7:05, 9:45. TUE-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:45.

New This Week POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS: THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD - PG 13 - The dude who ate nothing but McDonald’s for a month now does nothing but whore himself out to corporate sponsors. The question: which made him puke harder? 90 min. KUNG FU PANDA 2 - PG - Jack Black’s back as the rotund, butt-kicking Asian land mammal. Skee-doosh! 90 min. WIN WIN - R - A sleazy lawyer slash wrestling coach (Paul Giamatti) gets his comeuppance, possibly in the form of a half nelson. 106 min.

NOW SHOWING BRIDESMAIDS - R - Comedy - Gone wild. 124 min.

Romance - What, no peanuts? 122 min.

no singing, dancing or Zac Efrons. 104 min.

LAST CHANCE

RIO - PG - Animated, Family - A bird who sounds a lot like the dude from The Social Network has various feathered misadventures. 114 min.

13 ASSASSINS - R - Action - ...and a baby? In Japanese with English subtitles. 126 min. HOODWINKED TOO: HOOD VS. EVIL PG - Animated - If you like that title, you might also like this fairy-tale skewering sequel. If not, probably not. 111 min. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES - PG 13 - Fantasy - Captain Jack’s back (yep, again) to steal some more booty. 137 min. PROM - PG - Teen drama - Disney manages to make a movie about high school that involves

SOUL SURFER - PG - Drama - Based on the inspirational life of Kauai surfer Bethany Hamilton, who lost her arm but not her drive. 106 min. TRUE LEGEND - R - Action - Chinese import about a retired Qing dynasty general who gets pulled back into service. In Mandarin with English subtitles. 116 min. TYLER PERRY’S MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY - PG 13 - Horror - A dude dresses in drag and pretends to be a mean old lady to impart good ol’ fashioned Christian morals. Seriously. 121 min.

FAST FIVE - PG13 - Action - The sequel to Slow Four, or another one of those racing movies with Vin Diesel. You choose. 130 min. THE HANGOVER PART II - R - Comedy - We’re holding out for The Hangover Part III: The Intervention. 102 min. JUMPING THE BROOM - PG13 - Comedy - Two families from different sides of the tracks come together for a wedding and then they all get killed by aliens. Kidding about the last part—but we had you excited, didn’t we? 127 min. SOMETHING BORROWED - Comedy PG13 - A chick falls for her best friend’s fiancee and then they all get killed by aliens. Sorry, kidding again. 110 min. THOR - PG13 - Fantasy - It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a bastardized Greek god with a hammer! 130 min.

POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS - PG 13 -

MAY 26, 2011 19


PRESENTS

CITIZEN

COPE 6$785'$<0$<7+Ă&#x2022;30

:63(&,$/*8(67$5,6( GET YOUR TICKETS NOW! Call (808) 856-7973 or visit the box office The Maui Theatre in Lahaina One of the most prolific artists of our time.

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SUNDAY MAY 29

KA'ALE & THE TRUTH

FROM GOMEGA

SUNDAY FUNDAY!

FAMILY NIGHT PIZZA SPECIAL! BUY ONE GET ONE 1/2 OFF. HOUSE SPECIAL.

TUESDAY MAY 31

PELIGROSO TUESDAYS!

TACOS, MARGARITAS, $3 MEXICAN BEERS BOOKING INFO: DYINGSONS@GMAIL.COM

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-573-8085

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20 MAY 26, 2011

â&#x20AC;&#x153;home of the $1 mai taiâ&#x20AC;? Kiheiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BEST Sunset Cocktail Spot!

DAT GUYZ KEOLA AND BAND PLAYING ALL THE ISLAND FAVORITES

FRIDAY 27 9pm

SATURDAY 28 9pm

ROOTS ROCK/HIP HOP/REGGAE

KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT

SUNDAY 29 9pm

KARAOKE

MONDAY 30 9pm

HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!!

TUESDAY 31 9pm

JUNIOR LACUESTA

SMOOTH ISLAND MUSIC $1 TACOS $3 CORONAS $3 CUERVO SHOTS

OPEN MIC

WEDNESDAY 1 9pm

GET UP & JAM OR WATCH THE RISING STARS

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND


BY ANU YAGI

PICKS

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

This Week's Picks

T course!) In fact, I reckon that if we all ate enough Filipino desserts, the apocalypse would upend itself, because Filipino food truly is Heaven on Earth. Sure, the Bario Festivalâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the biggest and best celebration of Filipino cultural heritage on Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; is about much more than desserts (like the crowning of the Miss Bario Fiesta queen and the awesome tradition of debating in verse, known as bukanekgan), but priorities are priorities. [8am-3pm; War Memorial Complex, Kaahumanu Ave. Kahului] â&#x20AC;Ś If Citizen Cope (a.k.a Clarence Greenwood) had been booked last

Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;instead of this Saturday (May 28)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;I might have been inclined to buy into all the ridiculous rapture business. I mean, look at him. Kind of Jesus-like, right? And, my favorite quote about him (from the Chicago Sun-Times) brands him â&#x20AC;&#x153;a less smarmy John Mayer crossed with Stevie Wonder and a hint of Randy Newman.â&#x20AC;? If that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t immaculate perfection, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what is. And on Citizen Copeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eponymous 1992 debut, in addition to songs titled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Salvationâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cominâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Back,â&#x20AC;? thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a track with the right idea about end-of-the-world warfare:

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/VUVHWPPSHUP/^`Q\Z[ISVJRZVMM-YVU[:[YLL[ Â&#x2039;^^^4H\P)YL^PUN*VJVT

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

hank goodness the rapture didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happen last Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s events just wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be the same. See, if Harold Camping had his way, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be at the 42nd annual Bario Fiesta this Friday, Saturday and Sunday (May 27-29), gnawing kawayan (bamboo) poles into weapons and fighting off demons to the bitter end. (With apologies to tinikling dancers.) Because nothingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I repeat nothingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;can keep me away from tasty, tasty, cascaron. (And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d share, of

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Let the Drummer Kick.â&#x20AC;? Then just give the guitarists and bassists (literal) axes, and saxophonists sickles, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a grand start to one hell of an army against darkness. [$45-$75; 8-10:30pm; Maui Theatre, 878 Front St., Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com, ticketweb.com] â&#x20AC;Ś If Hellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s angels had been unleashed upon us, there would be no better company to keep than with Kanaka Hekili M/C at their 5th annual Memorial Day Run & Fundraiser. (Of course, these motorcycle/ community service enthusiastsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;who raise money for the Maui Veterans of

Foreign Warsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;are good company to keep anytime.) Mondayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (May 30) ride departs from Burger King in Kahului and concludes at the VFH Hall in Kihei. There, lunch will be served followed by bike rodeo events including a keg push, balance beam, jousting and water balloon toss. If the latter sounds less bad-ass, just ask the Wicked Witch of the West, or even M. Night Shyamalanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s aliensâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;every evil doer hates water balloons. Oh what a world! ($20; 9am meet / 10am departure; tickets available from K.H. M/C members; laphamj001@hawaii.rr.com) â&#x2013; 

Benefit for Kaimanalani Smith WITH

ONE INITY

FRI. MAY 27TH 3M COVER 

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 MA.AWAO A9E Â&#x2021; 72.22 MAY 26, 2011 21


BY ANU YAGI

CALENDAR

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

ARE SENDING YOU TO THE REPUBLIK MUSIC FESTIVAL

Sunday, June.12 AT THE MACC

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS

WIN A PAIR OF TICKETS

FOR 2 FROM

BAMP &

MAUITIME

GO TO

MAUITIME.COM/CONTE STS TO ENTER

*18 years or older to enter, no purchase necessary

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FROM NOON TO PAU

22 MAY 26, 2011

CITIZEN COPE - Sat, May 28. Some call Citizen Cope â&#x20AC;&#x153;a less smarmy John Mayer crossed with Stevie Wonder and a hint of Randy Newman.â&#x20AC;? Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series, now in its second year. Features special guests Arise and series creator Brian Evans. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $45 - $75. 8-10:30pm. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com KAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ALE AND THE TRUTH - Sat, May 28. This group brings its unique roots, rock, reggae and hip hop sound, direct from Hawaii Island. Best of all, the concert is free. 9pm. Hauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Beach, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-8010

STAGE

349,: $*3 onn,, tron tro atr

HOME OF THE

A WEEKEND OF JAMS AT STELLA BLUES - Soul Sessions with Eric Gilliom - Thu & Fri, May 26 & 27. I often hear people comment on Eric Gilliomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s star-quality presence. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yet know what all the fuss is about, do yourself a favor and start your weekend at Stella Blues. 6-9pm. $60 for fourcourse dinner / $25 show-only... Gomega - Sat, May 28. Everybody knows you gotta go see Gomegaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; some of Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ nest talent. $12. 10pm.... David Pack of Ambrosia - Mon, May 30. The latest Supper Club installment with a classic performer. $70 for four-course dinner / $40 show only. 6-9pm. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei; 808874-3779; stellablues.com

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PROARTS PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;GREATER TUNAâ&#x20AC;? - Opens Fri, May 27 and continues through Sun, June 12. A cast of just two welcomes you to Tuna, Texasâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; where the population is small, but the personalities are big. A play by Jaston Williams, Joe Sears and Ed Howard. Directed by Doug Kendrick. Contains some mild adult content. $15/ $20. 7:30pm Fridays & Saturdays. 3pm Sundays. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center, 1280 South Kihei Rd., Kihei; 463-6520; proartspaciďŹ c.com THE TAMING OF THE SHREW - Fri, Sat & Sun, May 27-29. (Final weekend!) Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sci-ďŹ Shakespeare. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss this provocative twist on a classic comedy. Dinner packages available with Cafe Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Lei and Bistro Casanova. Tickets available at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku) or Lava Java (Kihei). $15/ $20/ $40. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-8680

signiďŹ cance of taro with farmer Hokuao Pellegrino. Plus try your hand at pounding poi and taste the fresh fruit of your labor. Sponsored by the Hawaiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;i Tourism Authority, County of Maui OfďŹ ce of Economic Development and the Department of Water Supply. Reservations Required. Fees apply. 10am12pm. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, 150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 249-2797; info@mnbg.org; mnbg.org BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS BOOGIE & BOWL FOR KIDS SAKE - Sat, June 4. Bowl for Kids Sake is a beloved event on-isleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the major fundraising event for Big Brothers Big Sisters. There are plenty of ways you can help the cause, from becoming an event sponsor to donating prizes, to forming a team and bowling! 9am-6pm. Maui Bowling Center, Vineyard St., Wailuku; 242-9754 ext. 209; bigsofmaui.org KRIS KRISTOFFERSON FUNDRAISER FOR LOKELANI â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;OHANA - Sat, June 4. Kris Kristofferson is helping Lokelani â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ohana shed light on the housing crisis for people with developmental disabilities. The Maui-based organizationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work is to create socially therapeutic programs within our community using elements of Native Hawaiian culture and tradition for adults with developmental disabilities. $15/ $30/ $50/ $250 VIP. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org/ lokelaniohana.org ZION I & THE GROUCH â&#x20AC;&#x153;HEALING OF THE NATIONâ&#x20AC;? TOUR - Sat, June 4. West Coast hip hop stalwarts perform, with a portion of the proceeds beneďŹ tting Japan tsunami relief efforts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Touching people with our music is the main thing we can do,â&#x20AC;? says The Grouch, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but contributing in a monetary way is taking things to the next level.â&#x20AC;? Features special guests Tassho Pearce and Revolutionary Habit. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220 JAGERMEISTER LIVE MUSIC SHOWCASE - Sat, June 4. Jagermeister is looking to sponsor Hawaii bands, and asked Stella Blues to coordinate the search. While itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a battle of the bands in a traditional sense (videos of the shows are being sent to Jagerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s HQ for review), the crowd each band draws (i.e. YOU) is still wildly important. Here are artists you can support in the third and ďŹ nal round: Bad Kitty (9-9:35pm), Stef Lomeli Band (9:55-10:30pm), Dirt Mansion (10:50-11:25pm), and Big Trouble with Jamie Gallo (11:45pm-12:20am). $10. 9pm. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei; 808874-3779; stellablues.com

CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mind-boggling contortionists. $62+/ deals for keiki and kamaaina. 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 667-4540; maui.hyatt.com/ cirquepolynesia.com

SCENES FROM OUTSTANDING CONTEMPORARY PLAYWRIGHTS - Sun, June 5. This production challenges you to ask yourself: â&#x20AC;&#x153;What would you ďŹ ght for? What is worth the journey outside of your comfort zone?â&#x20AC;? Explore these questions at this evocative evening of theater, presented by Acting for Life. Call for reservations. $10. 7pm. Haleakala Waldorf School, 4160 L. Kula Rd., Kula; 280-0535

TICKETS ON SALE

12TH ANNUAL ZENSHIN DAIKO - Sat, June 11. Enjoy an evening of Japanese taiko drumming with Hajicho Drummers from Japan, San Jose Taiko from California, and Mauiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Zenshin Daiko, in this annual festival concert. $20, kids under 12 half-price. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Want to root, root, root for the home team? Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got 48 home games (May through August) to cheer your heart out. VIP seating $13 single/$528 season, stadium seating: $9 single/ $352 season, general admission: $6 single / $220 season, Military & keiki 12-years-old or younger: $4 single / $176 season. Ichiro â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ironâ&#x20AC;? Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880 KALO: THROUGH THE EYES OF A HAWAIIAN Sat, June 4. Learn about the extraordinary cultural

52ND MISS MAUI FILIPINA SCHOLARSHIP PAGEANT - Sat, June 11. Five lovely contestantsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Erika Sablay, Diane Lajorda, Shelby Bantilan, Melissa Rabino and Tiffany Silvaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;vie for the crown of Miss Maui Filipina, competing in ďŹ ve phases of competition (a pre-pageant interview, swimsuit, talent,


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

05/26

05/27

05/28

05/29

05/30 - 06/01

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Thirsty Thursday Ladies’ Night w/ DJ Jamn J 9pm; no cover

Bottoms Up Nightclub w/ DJ C, DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J, 10pm; $10

UFC 130 Starts @ 3pm $10 Cover

Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Terri Garrison / TUES - Bradda Francis / WED - Karaoke hosted by Bradda Francis

AMBROSIA

Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph

Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka

Ultra w/ DJ CIA

MON – Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt / TUE – Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ Flaw / WED – Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA

Live Music

Live Music

TBA

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

Maui SLAM Poetry “School’s Out for Summer” 9:30pm; $5/$10

One Inity 10pm; $10

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain 9pm; $5

Kanoa from Gomega

Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina - 667-0908

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Ryan Palma, 7:30-10pm (no cover)

Friday’s in the Sky Lounge w/ DJ CIA

DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL 900 Front St., Lahaina - 662-3000

Industry Night

Cane Fires

Fun Lovin Infadel

Jordan & Wolf

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage WED - House Music

Quiz Night w/Special Guest; 8pm; no cover

TBA

Junior Lacuesta

Sebrina Barron

MON – Big John / TUES - Jordan & Wolf

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR

Karaoke & Darts

Roots Judgment 9pm-12am; no cover

UFC

Karaoke & Darts

WED - Free Pool

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

Junior Lacuesta

Rick Glencross & Dat Guyz

Ryan Robinson & Ka’ale And The Truth

Karaoke Industry Night

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Junior Lacuesta WED - Jordan Cudworth & Open Mic Night

Lahaina Open Mic Night, 7:30-10pm; no cover (all ages)

Sounds of Addiction 5-8pm

Free Salsa Lessons 10-11pm / Latin DJ 11pm; $7

MON - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana / TUE Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa / WED - Erin Smith (all sets 7:30-10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

speech and onstage Interview). The theme of this year’s pageant is “Education is the Essence of Progress.” Proudly presented by the Maui Filipino Community Council. $25. 6:30-9:30pm. Hyatt Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 2640871; missmauifilipina.webs.com THE REPUBLIK MUSIC FESTIVAL - Sun, June 12. As part of Hard Rock Café’s 40th Anniversary Celebration, BAMP Project presents The Republik Music Festival, featuring Steel Pulse, Matisyahu, Rebelution, The Dirty Heads and The Green. Visit the boys at Requests in Wailuku to get hip to these artists’ albums and to purchase tickets. $39.50 advance/ $45 door. 4pm (gates open at 3pm). P.S. Enter to win tickets at mauitime.com/contests! A&B Amphitheater & Yokouchi Pavillion, MACC; One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org HALIE LOREN - Thu, June 16. This Oregon songbird is wildly popular in Japan, and last September serenaded happy Maui audiences who are all eager for her return. Check her out her unique jazz style at Stella’s intimate concert venue. $15. 7pm. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei; 808874-3779; stellablues.com 4 FATHERS/4 SONS: HAWAIIAN SLACK KEY ARTISTS - Sat, June 18. Celebrate Father’s Day weekend with four famous Hawaiian musical families: Dennis and David Kamakahi; George and Keoki Kahumoku; Kevin and Ikaika Brown; and Richard and Kai Ho’opi’i. $25. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater, 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE STYLISTICS - Fri, June 18. Keeping ‘70s soul music alive, Philadelphia’s The Stylistics—who’ve been rockin’ the scene since ‘66—will play a special Father’s Day weekend show on Maui. Tickets now available for MACC members, with sales open to the public starting Sat, May 28. $35/$45/$55. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater, 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org JOE PISCOPO & BRIAN EVANS - Sat, June 25. Best known for his work on “Saturday Night Live”—perhaps most notably for his impressions of Frank Sinatra—comedian Joe Piscopo should pair well with crooner Brian Evans. Presented by the Maui

Celebrity Series. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com KI HO’ALU GUITAR FESTIVAL - Sun, June 26. Enjoy the 20th Anniversary of Maui’s Ki Ho’alu (Slack Key) Guitar Festival with some of Hawaii’s best slack key artists. Free. 2-7pm. A&B Amphitheater & Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SESAME STREET LIVE, 1-2-3 IMAGINE! WITH ELMO & FRIENDS - Fri, Sat & Sun, July 29-31. Elmo, Abby Cadabby, Big Bird and all your kids’ favorite Sesame Street characters will be on hand to entertain. Full of energy and adventure, Ernie captains the high seas, Elmo dances to the rhythm of the African rainforest and Bert meets an octopus who has the blues. Too cool. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org JAMIE KENNEDY - Sat, July 30. Hey, did you know that Jamie Kennedy lends the voice to Roberta Tubbs’ boyfriend on “The Cleveland Show”? True story! Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com JIM BRICKMAN - Sun, Aug 7. Brickman is a platinum-selling artist who’s celebrated for revolutionizing the sound of solo piano with pop instruments and star-studded vocal collaborations. $25/ $35/ $50/ $65 (VIP). 3pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org ANDREW DICE CLAY - Sat, Aug 13. If you like your humor crude and rude, you’ll be thrilled to hear the Diceman cometh to Maui. Presented by the Maui Celebrity Series. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauicelebrityseries.com SPIN DOCTORS - Sat, Aug 20. The two princes who adore you will have to compete to see who gets to be your date at the Spin Doctors concert, live under the stars. $55. 8pm. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 1-877-GROOV (47668); groovetikets.com

com for contest details.

FOODIE BUY LOCAL, EAT LOCAL: A HOW-TO DEMO - Every Fri. Whole Foods Market celebrates what’s salivating about seasonal, locally grown produce with a cooking demonstration. Free. 11am. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui ACUPUNCTURE & HERBS WITH JOHN - Every Mon & Wed. Acupuncture & Herbs with John Motley, licensed acupuncturist and well-versed guru in the healing arts of herbs, will be in the store to provide shoppers with information and free demos of this healing craft. 4pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui FREE VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Every Tue. See (and sample!) how Andrea Bertoli, Down to Earth’s vegan chef, uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfasts, and deserts. Free. 5:306:30pm. Down To Earth, 305 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 8772661; downtoearth.org “MEALS ON A BUDGET” RECIPE SHOWCASE WITH SHARLA - Every Wed. Looking for great recipes on a budget? Join demo diva Sharla for a delicious recipe that will satisfy the entire family without breaking the bank (less than $3 per serving). Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului; 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

ANNOUNCEMENTS “I LOVE MARINE LIFE” PHOTO CONTEST - This contest is open to all; and all entries must have been photographed in Maui waters or at the Maui Ocean Center, with a marine animal as its subject. A panel of judges from the aquarium will select 10 finalists and aquarium guests will cast their votes for the “People’s Choice” winner. Finalists will receive a One Day Journey Pass and the two grand prize winners will receive an Annual Journey Pass, plus free admission to the Maui Photo Festival’s opening night gala. Submissions accepted starting in June (with an August 1 deadline). Visit mauioceancenter.

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAY 26 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Season opener! Lake County Fielders take on Maui’s own. This sevengame series continues through Wednesday, June 1. Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13. 6:30pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880 MAUI SLAM POETRY: “SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER” - This month, Maui SLAM celebrates ‘no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks’ (you know, ye olde kiddie rhyme made even more-famous by Alice Cooper). But let’s stick to only leaving out da stink eye part, because though school is out for summer, putting pencil to page—and speaking those words—is hipper than ever. So share your original verse—in three minutes or less—and vie for the $100 cash prize. Oh, and mic check this out: Turntables but the one and only Boomshot, visual alchemy by Douglas Deboer, special guests Jahsun of the Unsung Mighty Few, plus live painting and prizes. $10/ $5 before 9:30pm. 9:30pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com

FRIDAY, MAY 27 DON’T FRY DAY - Sure, sunblock keeps your skin safe—but did you know that sunblock can be damaging to our precious coral reefs? Researchers estimate that each year 4,000-6,000 metric tons of toxic sunscreen washing off swimmers into the ocean. To raise awareness about this issue, the aquarium is giving away free sample-size bottles of Reef Safe Sunscreen; a product that is is 99 percent biodegradable and non-toxic to sea life. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea; mauioceancenter.com NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Game two of a sevengame series against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Wednesday, June 1. Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13. 6:30pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880

MAY 26, 2011 23


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

05/26

05/27

05/28

05/29

05/30 - 06/01

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Tracy Stiles 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Rick Glencross

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

Kahala

MON through WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

KIMO’S

1810 6:30-8:30pm

JD on the Rocks 8-10pm

Glen & Ben 8-10pm

Willie K, 3-5pm / Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm

MON through WED - Sam Ahia, 6:308:30pm

Bad Kitty 8-11pm; no cover

Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs, 6pm1am; no cover

Rock Band 8pm-12am; no cover

Gina Martinelli 7-10pm; no cover

MON - Karaoke Fun Night, 6pm-1am / TUE - Pool Night, 6pm-1am / WED - Kiwi Cowboys 7-10pm (all no cover)

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Crazy Fingers 9pm-1am; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

845 Front St., Lahaina 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Live Music & Dancing

Live Music & Dancing DJ Canespider, 11pmclose

Easy Listening w/ Neto 8-10pm DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; no cover

MON - Service Industry Night WED - Karaoke w/ Manino, 7:30-11 pm

Howard Ahia

Cyrus Clark

Status Party feat. DJ Twizy, DJ Jem and DJ Treb, plus Philly Blunt & Money Mike, 10pm; $10

Kenny Roberts

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm-12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm (all no cover)

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae

Old School Night 9pm-1am; $5

MAUI BEACH HOTEL

170 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului - 872-9301

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae

MOANA CAFE

Phil & Angie Benoit

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Murray Thorne 6:308:30pm / Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9pm-12am

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

“DOLLARS FOR SCHOLARS” SILENT AUCTION FUNDRAISER - Fri, May 27. A benefit for the Lahaina Complex After School Enrichment Tutor Project, featuring exquisite wine and delicious food. The project’s after school programs are offered at no cost — including bus transportation, materials, supplies and snacks — to hundreds of keiki participants on the West side. $40 per person. 6-9pm. Aina Nalu Pavilion, 660 Wainee St., Lahaina; 719-282-9011 SPALICIOUS NIGHT AT THE GRAND SPA - Maui’s most elegant and well known spa hosts an evening of socializing and pampering for the ladies. Access to hydrotherapy circuit, chocolate spa mini treatments, and sinful desserts combine in a night for your inner diva. $60, 6-12 $30. 8pm. Grand Wailea Resort & Spa, 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 808875-1234; grandwailea.com

SATURDAY, MAY 28 BAILEY HOUSE MUSEUM DAY - Celebrating Foster Care Month, the Bailey House Museum partners with Keiki Kokua to offer a free museum tour (11am), a potluck lunch (12pm) and Hawaiian style activities throughout the day. Free. 10am-4pm. Bailey House Museum, 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 808244-3326; mauimuseum.org/ keikikokua.org NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Game three of a seven-game series against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Wednesday, June 1. Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13. 6:30pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880

SUNDAY, MAY 29 WET NATURALIST PRESENTATIONS - Every Fri & Sun. An exciting, hands-on presentation! See, touch and learn about sea stars, urchins and cucumbers with a trained ocean naturalists, at the Discovery Pool. Complimentary with aquarium admission. 11:30am. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea; mauioceancenter.com SOUND HEALING WORKSHOP - Lori Lewis teaches “The Soul voice” sound healing method. $150 (or

24 MAY 26, 2011

Ranga Pae

DJ Music

Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm

Jazz on the Blue, 7-9pm / Leche de Tigre 10pm-12am

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

Irie Soul CD Release Party ft. Rootikal Riddim & Super Dub Tribe - 10pm

TUE - Open Mic Night The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bag Piper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm / Big John, 10pm-12am

$125 each if you bring a friend). 10am-6pm. Hale Ho’omana, 1550 Pi’iholo Rd., Makawao; 808-2695985

6:30pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880

MUSICAL MEDITATIONS WITH KATE MOODY Using keyboard music, Kate Moody leads guided meditations with “Connect the Dots” visualizations. $10 donation. 4pm. The Sacred Garden, 460 Kaluanui Rd., Makawao; healingdots.com

DEADLINE: COLORING & POETRY CONTEST In recognition of World Oceans Day (June 8), the aquarium is holding a coloring and poetry contest for keiki 3-to 12-years-old. Kids can submit a drawing or poem that best represents the theme “Hawaii’s Unique Oceans” for the chance to win an Annual Journey Pass to the aquarium. The deadline to enter is May 31. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea; mauioceancenter.com

NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Game four of a seven-game series against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Wednesday, June 1. Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13. 6pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880 PET-A-PALOOZA - There are plene kine kitties and canines who need a loving ‘ohana. Check out this special, weekly open house and find your new best friend. Free. 11:30am-2:30pm. Maui Humane Society, 1350 Meha Meha Loop, Puunene; 877-3680; mauihumanesociety.org

MONDAY, MAY 30 KANAKA HEKILI M/C 5TH ANNUAL MEMORIAL DAY RUN & FUNDRAISER - Mon, May 30. Bikers and the general public are welcome. The last stop is the Kihei VFW Hall where lunch will be served and bike rodeo events—like the keg push, joust, water balloon toss and more—will ensue. See This Week’s Picks for more. $20 (available at the door or in advance from club members). Meets at the Kahului Burger King at 9am. The ride leaves promptly at 10am. laphamj001@hawaii.rr.com THE FRAGILITY OF HAWAI’S CORAL REEFS You’re sure to learn a lot at this lecture about the fragile ecosystems of Hawaii’s coral reefs. Free. 2-3pm. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center, 726 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-2818 ext. 23 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Game five of a sevengame series against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Wednesday, June 1. Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13.

TUESDAY, MAY 31

GARDEN TOURS AT MAUI NUI BOTANICAL GARDENS - Every Tue & Fri. Volunteer-guided tours include discussions about conservation, natural history, ethnobotanical uses of native Hawaiian plants, and MNBG initiatives. By appointment only. Free ($5 suggested doantion). 10-11:30am. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, 150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 249-2798/ info@mnbg.org; mnbg.org “TRICKSTER TALES” WITH PETER AND MELINDA WONG - Kicking off the 2011 HSPLS Children’s Summer Reading Program, husband-and-wife storytelling/musician duo will perform “Trickster Tales from Around the World.” An second showcase, at the Makawao Public Library (in the Children’s Room), is scheduled for Thu, June 2. Free. 10am. Wailuku Public Library (Hawaiian Pacific Room), 251 High St., Wailuku, 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org “45-TON TALK” - Every Tue & Thu. Learn tons of stuff about whales. Call or e-mail to RSVP. Also hosted at the Whalers Village’s Whale Museum in Ka’anapali on Fridays and Saturdays at 11am. Free. 11am. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center, 726 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-2818/ bo.petty@noaa.gov NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Game six of a sevengame series against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Wednesday, June 1. Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13. 6:30pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia

Mon - Rocking ‘80s Party 10pm-12am / Tue - Willie K, 7-9pm / WED Willie K, 7-9pm / Jordan & Wolf, 10pm-12am

Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Final game in this seven-game series against the Lake County Fielders. (Up next: Na Koa Ikaika takes on the Chico Outlaws, June 2-7.) Single and season tickets available. Single tickets: $4/$6/$9/$13. 6:30pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 808-877-8880 WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS CONCERT - This week features Polynesian entertainment from Chief Fia Fia and the Polynesian Village Luau Performers. Free. 6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard, 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea; 8976770 ext. 2 SLACK KEY SHOW – MASTERS OF HAWAIIAN MUSIC - George Kahumoku Jr. hosts this Grammy Award-winning concert series. Co-hosted by Da Ukulele Boyz, a different guest artist is featured each week. Dinner/show package available with Sea House Restaurant (adjacent to the concert hall; 5:30pm seating). $39.99. 7:30-9:30pm. Napili Kai Beach Resort Pavilion, 5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Napili; 669-3858; slackkey.com/ napilikai.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri & Sat, Ras Shaggai 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Indapkt 3-6pm. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu, Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; Every Fri & Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Every Sun, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Every Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Every Tue, live Jazz 7-10pm; Every Wed, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm. Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Damien 3–5pm, Garrett & Peter 6–8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sat, Mondo 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sun, Mondo 3-5pm, Ron & Miles 6-8:30pm; Every Mon, Brian 3-5pm, Damien & Edee 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Wed, Brian 3-5pm, Alika & Eddie 6-8:30pm. 130 Kai


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SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Jordan Fun 6-9pm

Dress Like a Pirate Night

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close

Kanaka Jam 7:30-11:30pm

STELLA BLUE’S

Soul Sessions w/ Eric Gilliom, 6-9pm; $30/$60

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT 41 E. Lipa St., Kihei - 874-5115

TUE - Karaoke Contest w/ DJ Jay, 6-9pm Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

Free Pool 12 - 9pm

Industry Night 10pm-close

MON - Mahalo Monday, 10am - 7pm TUE - Tennis League Night, 7pm-close WED - DJ Dance Party, 8pm-12am

Soul Sessions w/ Eric Gilliom, 6-9pm; $30/$60

Gomega 10pm; $12

SLAM feat. David Choy 7-10pm; no cover

MON - Supper Club: David Pack of Ambrosia, 6-9pm; $40/$60 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm

Head High 9pm-1am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

Innavision 10pm

FishTank and Nector Collector - 10pm

TIA JUANA’S BEACH CANTINA

Live Music

Live Music

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

Ladies’ Night 9pm-1:30am; $10

College Night: Next Lvl DJs 9pm-2am; $5/$10 (18+)

Live Music 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Free Karaoke

MON - Free Karaoke / TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy. - 667-4080

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

THE UNDERGROUND 744 Front St., Lahaina

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900. HARD ROCK CAFE - Every Thu, all-ages Open Mic Night 9pm; Every Mon, Damon Parillo and Danyel Alana 7:3010pm; Every Tue, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm; Every Wed, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. HULA GRILL - Thu, Alika 11:30am-1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2-4pm, Armadillo 4:15-6:15pm, Kulewa 6:30-9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Kawika, Roy, & Tarvin 6:30-9pm; Sat, Evan Schulman 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, 1810 4:15-6:15pm, Will Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Sun, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30-1pm, Ron & Ikaika 2-4pm, 1810 4:156:15pm, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm, Armadillo 4:15-6:15pm, Derrick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:309pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30am-1pm, Jarrett Roback 2-4pm, Ernest Pua’a 4:15-6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm.; Wed, Ernest Pua’a11:30am-1pm, Alika 2-4pm, Peter DeAquino 4:15-6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636. JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rene Alonzo; Fri & Sat, Farzad & Mike Madden; Sun, Brian Cuomo; Mon, Ashley Welte; Tue, Ras Shaggai; Wed, Howard Ahia (all sets 7pm). 3550 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Lahaina, 667-0787. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu, Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri, The J.D. on the Rocks Band 2:30-5pm; Every Sat, J.D. & Harry 2:30-5pm; Every Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Every Fri, Cyrus Clark 5-7pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; Every Mon, Junior 6-8pm. Every Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808.

Next Level Entertainment 10pm

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500. VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Fri, Rick Schneideman 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Evan Shulman 6:309pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Tue, “Glee” screening 7pm. Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night (June is Bill Murray month! This week: “Stripes”) 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F. 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Every Fri & Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Jazz on the Blue 6:30-9pm, Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:309:30pm; Mon, SLAM featuring David Choy 7-9:30pm; Tue, Willie K 7-9pm; Wed, Avi & Indio 5:45-7pm; Willie K 7-9pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun, Ron Shadian & Friends; Every Mon, Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.) 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:307:30pm. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 879-7177.

ON MAUITIME.COM

MERRIMAN’S - Wed-Sun, Ranga Pae; Mon, Benoit Jazzworks; Tue, David Choy. All sets 6-9pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 669-6400.

KIWI ROADHOUSE - Thu, Bad Kitty 8-11pm; Every Fri, Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs 6pm-1am; Sat, Rock Band 8pm-12am; Every Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 7-10pm; Wed, Kiwi Cowboys 8-11pm. 95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 874-1250.

ONO BAR & GRILL - Thu & Tue, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Kealii Lum; Sun, Mitch Keppa; Wed, Scott Baird (all sets 6-9pm). Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 667-2525.

LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu & Fri, Live music and dancing; Every Sat, Easy Listening with Neto 8-10pm; Every Sun & Wed, Karaoke with Manino 7:30-11pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-9944.

26 MAY 26, 2011

TAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 875-8080.

CALENDAR LISTINGS

KAI WAILEA - Thu, Mon & Sun, Wolf; Fri, Ryan Robinson; Sat, Kanoa; Mon, Tom Conway; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955.

Sunday Swing Night 8pm

MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 875-6666.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri, Mon &Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan Robinson; Every Wed, Jordan Cudworth. (all sets 4-8pm.) Sun, Mon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250.

WED - James Somera, Jonathan Dreschler & Friends - 8:30-11:30pm; $3

SHARKY’S - Thu, Jordan Fun 6-9pm; Tue, Karaoke Contest with DJ Jay 6-9pm. Lipoa Center, 41 E. Lipoa St. Ste. 15, Kihei; 874-5115 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Wolf. (all sets 4-6pm.) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Thu & Fri, Soul Sessions with Eric Gilliom 6-9pm; Every Thu, Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Sun, SLAM featuring David Choy 7-10pm; Every Mon, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Mon, Supper Club feat. David Pack of Ambrosia 6-9pm; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, live music - Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 875-2910. THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Thu, live Jazz 7pm; Fri, Jeff 7pm; Sat, Steff Lomeli 7pm; Mon, Cyrus Clark 7pm; Tue, Gerit Williams 7-9pm. 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-3133. THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RES-

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri, Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Tue, Braddah Francis 4-7pm. Every Mon, Terri Garrison 4-7pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001. CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Daily, Francois 6-9pm; Every Sun, Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 873-6555.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu, Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat, live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. FLATBREAD CO. - Every first Thu, Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30pm. 89 Hana Hwy. Paia, 579-8989. GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6pm.137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9130. KULA LODGE - Sat & Sun, Jazz music. 15200 Haleakala Hwy., Kula, 878-1535. LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Fri & Sat, live music 6-8pm. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani, 573-2859. MAX WORLD BISTRO - Fri, Tatyana 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 6:30-9pm; Sun, Jazz music 6:30-9pm; Tue, Rakhal Kincaid 6:30-9pm; Wed, Brooks Maguire 6:30-9pm. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-2629. MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Phil & Angela Benoit will return next week for their every Thu gig 6:308:30pm; Every Tue, Open Mic Night 6pm. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.


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28 MAY 26, 2011

â&#x20AC;&#x153;False prophets will rise and show signs of wonders to deceive... / Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Mark 13:22-33

I

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Friday night in Hawaii, well past doomsday in Kiribati (i.e. the island nation that straddles the International Date Line). The pious members of my â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ohana are not supermaning skyward, and I know both empirically and via Twitter that the Earth is no more plunged into chaos than it was yesterday. #rapturefail But like a Witness wondering why Santa Claus didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave me any presents, I feel an awry twinge of disappointment over Harold Campingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s failed weekend rapture. Why?! I berate myself, annoyed. I lay my left hand on The Origin of Species, after all. Yet at the very seed of my psyche is a Christian upbringing thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impressed upon me the red-letter scripture, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heaven and earth will pass away... / But of the day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heavenâ&#x20AC;? (Matthew 24:35-36). So Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m driving down Haleakala Highway, and just as I think all this, a blue laser beam as big as a houseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; the aggregate of every heavenly crepuscular ray that ever was and ever will beâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;shoots down from the zenith to burn a giant hole into the center of the isleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s isthmus. I try to speak but can only sing hymns (and do so uncharacteristically well, if I might add)! A 1,000-foot-tall head of actor Tim Curry, in blackface, descends from the clouds. He whistles in with the sound of an everlasting gong and sucks up souls into the abyss between his lips. He chews. He blows an undulating pink bubble that engulfs Earth. It pops. He belches. And then I wake up. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Saturday morning in Hawaii, and half the globeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time zones have seen the alleged May 21 rapture come and go without incident. Except for crazies like Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lyn Benedettoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;who attempted to kill her two young daughters by slitting their throats, then her ownâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;any rapture-related kerfufďŹ&#x201A;e is mere Internet chatter. The breeze blows benevolently, birds chirrup a soundtrack to the sunrise. Kingdom did not come as Camping said it would.

You know what? I blame Ritalin. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right, Ritalin. Despite popping pills in maximum tonnage, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re obviously still so distracted with self-involved hyperactivity that despite real world tribulation, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re compelled to fantasize about apocalypse now. And yes, every Christian ought to be totally pissed off at Camping and his crew, too. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re no better than Kansasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Phelps family, whose imbecilic end-of-days ideology would disgust even demons themselves. So shut the hell up, Camping. Though you do admittedly look like the Cryptkeeper, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need you to remind me that, as sure as taxes, the end is near. And unless you intend on kniďŹ ng my jugular, I certainly donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need you telling me when exactly myâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or anyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;sâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;end will come. But even if my screed were piped directly into Campingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hearing aide, my bitching would fall on deaf ears. (Dear readers: As Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you already know, this crazy man remains unrepentant about his failed predictions in both 1994 and 2011â&#x20AC;&#x201D; still holding ďŹ rm that the world will come to a ďŹ ery end on October 21 of this year.) So ultimately, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be better if those un-hearing ears were my own. Imagine how much time Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have saved talking, twittering and typing about this silliness; time that could otherwise have been spent living for today in a way that does not stymie tomorrow. Because I know Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a dreamer and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not the only one. And like Tim Curryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seminal character says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dream it. Be it.â&#x20AC;? â&#x2013; 

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid To share or save: mt.hy. pr/1449k


BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

HOROSCOPE

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

Sign Language GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Beliefs change. What you believed in as a child probably doesn’t hold much weight for you now. Hell, what you believed in last year might no longer ring quite as true. Of course, if you’re flip-flopping all over the place and espousing different ideas about life every other day, no one’s likely to take you particularly seriously. But if you’ve changed your mind after careful reflection and inquiry, that’s commendable. Own it. Those with open minds may very well come around to your new point of view, or at least accept and tolerate it. Those who don’t—well, they can just suck it, can’t they?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) Being forced to abide by someone else’s antiquated or backwards standards has to be incredibly galling. However, this is a pick-your-battles scenario. Is this one really worth fighting? It might be, but be sure, before you go in guns blazing. This could be a Thunderdome (“two men enter, one man leaves!”) level duel, so unless you’re really prepared to see it through to its dramatic (and perhaps tragic) conclusion, you may simply want to keep quiet and just get through it, as annoying and frustrating as that probably is. Live to fight another day, if you will.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Small deceptions are sometimes necessary in order to support a greater truth. You can hope and strive for 100% transparency regarding everything you do and feel, but sometimes that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Does your partner really need to know about that work crush (that you’ll never act on)? It’ll just make them pointlessly insecure or jealous. In this example, the deeper truth is that you want to be with your partner, regardless of how cute you find someone else. Stick to that, even if it means glossing over some of the actual details.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Repeatedly testing boundaries is what some people do. They can’t help it. They’re told no, but like a naughty child they’re compelled to keep trying anyway. Perhaps it’s kind of like a game for them. Of course, it’s exhausting and annoying for you, but unfortunately right now there’s no easy way to end it without going nuclear (to the worstcase, last-resort scenario). That’s always an option, but it has consequences all its own. Since a less extreme solution might work in a week or three, perhaps just grit your teeth and bear it until then?

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) When someone calls you out on a mistake you’ve made, sometimes your first instinct is to lash out defensively or evade the blame somehow. Of course, upon further reflection, you often realize that they were right, even if you managed to get out of it. Try to be open-minded this week when offered a critique. It’s not an attempt to tear you down or belittle you, but actually to help you or otherwise improve a situation. Try to accept it with good grace, regardless of what you’re feeling inside. You may feel irked no matter what. Hide it—for now, at least. If you’re still vexed a week from now, speak up then. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) While you may be justified in pointing out hypocrisy anywhere you find it, doing so doesn’t make you particularly fun to be around. The fact is, almost everyone falls short of their (and your) ideal, and if you insist on spelling it out each time you observe it, you’ll only alienate or offend people. Your intentions are good, but your actions and words will generally vex rather than improve people, as you imagine. Biting your tongue this week will earn you more friends than your best-intentioned criticisms. Maybe “improving” people is more important to you than having friends—but that’s your call. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) People love who (and what) they love, and there’s not much you can say or do about it. This is particularly confounding when you don’t understand their choices, and horrifying when those choices are quite clearly bad for them (when someone opts to stay with a chronically abusive spouse, for instance). As confusing and upsetting as this surely is, your own role in the situation is actually quite simple. You have two choices: accept it, or walk away. If you choose to leave in protest of their decisions, you’re also free to burn bridges by offering your uncensored opinion of those choices—but if you choose to stay, you’re probably best off biting your tongue. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) As it turns out, your help may not always be desired. However, when someone else’s well-being is at stake, your conscience should compel you to try to help anyway. You must be prepared to be told to piss off and mind your own business. It’ll happen. But not offering aid because you fear being rejected is just silly. This is about what’s best for the situation, not for your ego. The right thing to do is step up and accept the consequences from there, whatever they are. You know and believe this, too. This week, be sure to act on that belief.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7 1. “Clean energy” (discussing a public-private, U.S.-Japan “smart grid” demonstration project on Maui, slated to begin in 2013)

2. Moneygall, Ireland 3. B.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Here’s the cliché: Give a man a fish, he eats for a day; teach him to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Obviously, the latter scenario is preferable for all concerned. However, you may be balking at this situation, for whatever reason—perhaps you don’t think someone is capable of or interested in “learning to fish.” Or they’re just not worth the time to you. However, even if you look at this from a purely selfish standpoint, trying to impart some self-sufficiency is still the way to go. Just suck it up and give it a go. Trust me on this. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Friends keep secrets. But some secrets are heavy burdens to bear; it’s not fair to ask someone else to carry them for long. An example of something like this is the revelation that you’ve been cheating on your spouse. Suddenly, you’ve entangled your friend in a mess and forced them to potentially lie to someone else they may consider a friend. Think before you share this stuff. If you’re prepared to put it all out in the open soon, and this is just the first step, that’s great. But don’t expect someone else to hold up half the weight of a lie you’re telling for more than a very short time. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) How many times in your life has someone forced you to try something new, so you could discover you actually liked it? Didn’t you regret, afterwards, how long you dragged your feet, put up walls, and made excuses? Hopefully, you were at least mature enough to realize and admit you were silly for having done these things. But then you went ahead and did it again, didn’t you? When’s that going to stop? Sure, some things you’re certain you’ll never like, and you may even be right. Try them anyway. The worst thing that can happen is an unpleasant moment when your suspicions are confirmed. The best is that you could discover a new love. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) If you’re a serious tally-keeper, you probably know that the favor being asked of you this week carries with it no obligation. The favor-asker may even already “owe” you. Do it anyway. This isn’t about counting pennies and keeping tabs on who’s done what for who. Look at the bigger picture and remember there may be things happening “off the books,” i.e., unnoticed by you. Even if that’s not the case, keeping the peace and making people happy is absolutely worth the hassle of doing the favor, without complaint. You’ll probably never be able to call in this “debt,” but you will be repaid, one way or another—even if you never quite know how. That ought to be good enough.

MAY 26, 2011 29


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14.49 Summer Guide 2011, May 26, 2011, Volume 14, Issue 49, MauiTime  

Your 2011 guide to all Summer events, activities, etc.

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