15.28 2011 Year In Review, December 29, 2011, Volume 15, Issue 28, MauiTime

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DECEMBER 29, 2011

Contents VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What bad habit do you resolve to continue next year?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Sarcasm Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Hyperbole Proofreader: Dina Wilson Drinking beer Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com Farting in the office Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Drinking too much), Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Human Centipeding General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Drinking Tequila

✚

ISSUE 28

COVER: Paul Windle www.paulwindle.com

4 NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY 8 DINING 13 THIS WEEK’S PICKS 17 20 DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID 21 FILM CRITIQUE 26 FILM TIMES 27 KULA KID 28 HOROSCOPE 29 CLASSIFIED 30 31 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Posting inappropriate photos to Instagram Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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NEWS&VIEWS

The Year In

Feedback COMPILED BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

A

nd now for one of the more enjoyable parts of a year-in-review issue: your letters. We get a lot of letters, emails and online comments concerning the work we do at Mauitime. Some compliment our hard work and dedication, while others (many others) criticize our stories in ways that range from sincere correction to hostile personal attacks. I’m talking about hate mail, and who doesn’t love to read that? So here are some choice excerpts from the grief we’ve taken over the past year from you, our beloved readers (we’ve deliberately left any errors in, for the sake of authenticity). Enjoy, and keep those letters coming!

Ur [sic] such a dumb bitch... Very Upset that a publication priding itself on being independent and locally owned would use stock photography for this cover... Why not hire a local girl instead of pretending!... Nobody really cares what happens to hack journalists like [Tommy] Russo. I would slap him too if he stuck a camera in my face... I had no idea that Maui Time’s

t’s so boring to only hear of the problem without any viable solution offered.

Of course, if your articles are written simply for the pleasure of complaining, there’s no need to drag others through the mud to make your point...”

“I

‘Spin Cycle’ was written with a pinch of comedy and a splash of stupidity. Hands down to Mr. Shafer for writing something that honestly could be completely and utterly debunked by following the simple principles of the childhood game of ‘connect the dots’.

My props go out to the editor as well. This is a fine piece of prose to put to the press.

Jacob, as for you? Maui Time seems like the perfect place for your skill set... Just because you were within your legal rights doesn’t mean you weren’t acting like a jerk... I don’t generally pick up your paper because I know in advance your opinions and they are boring...

[Y]our newspaper is little more than a mouthpiece for the phony, left-wing, Democratic Party, fascist, NOW and as such should continue to enjoy the blessings of the powers that be... For someone who thinks the birthers are crazy and should be dismissed out of hand, you

sure have dedicated a lot of ink to them... I am a big fan of Anu Yagi’s writing. But her recent article about skin diving turned my stomach... Quit bashing public schools in your Mauitime rag... Ho brah, spell check your article before publishing it in da maui time. Its [sic] a slap in da face for typing naive hawaiian community. You is naive for not checking your spelling... You just angered a teacher who has already suffered a pay cut so you don’t have to pay more taxes. Does it make you feel good to kick teachers in the proverbial crotch?... It must suck to be ignored as a journalist. And you are, since I am the only person who has read this on-line, and I am only doing it for the weird thrill of reading something embarassing [sic] to the author... Did you actually read the article you wrote?... Maybe you could use your time, ink and paper to inspire change rather than just complain about the problem. It’s so boring to only hear of the problem without any viable solution offered. Of course, if your articles are written simply for the pleasure of complaining, there’s no need to drag others through the mud to make your point... All the Maui Time writers just want attention because their parents never gave a dam [sic] about them when they where kids. Also you misspelled some names to proving [sic] you

“I

guys are unprofessional!... Your comment betrays your lack of understanding of Maui’s culture and history... So who’s the fuckdamn shitcunt that turned this issue of MT into an unreadable piece of piss-tit rags? Bad enough we have undecipherable graphs explaining the rankings done by some cocksucker, but the flip to the side just made the thing look like a motherfucker... I hope you choose to look under the covers and educate yourself further before continuing to perpetuate falsehoods as you have done with this poorly researched article. Real journalists attempt to tell both sides of the story. You have done nothing more than just parrot highly funded activist organizations that make money by telling lies... This article disgusted me. There are so many serious issues in Maui, and

ery Upset that a publication priding itself on being independent and locally owned would use stock photography for this cover...”

“V

would slap him too if he stuck a camera in my face...” you chose this innuendo for your front page article?... Really [Anthony] Pignataro?

Please wake up tomorrow and ask yourself if you have to remain a bitter angry person so much so that you can’t understand privacy law nor personal property law (Oprah’s road).

Because you may become at least a decent writer if you do so, but until then you are obvi-

ously nothing more than an angry bitter man who hates authority and people with success. (again Oprah)... I cannot believe this cover.

You have the AUDACITY to put something like this on the cover! It’s outrageous! You should apologize!... With all the veterans on Maui, from World War 2; Korea; Vietnam; Iraq/ Afghanistan and all points in-between, you roll out this bit of fluff to show what it’s like in the Navy? If this is the best you can do for a Veteran’s Day article, why bother?... Pig, you continue to show how you are NOT a journalist but a hack of a writer who has [sic] so centered around himself that you blather on about your opinion rather than facts. Not a single law today tells people who they can and cannot marry or what they can or cannot do in their bedroom. You write from your ideology rather than from reality. And that is why you will continue to be a hack until you figure that out... I totally disagree with your boycott suggestion; it is childish and

o brah, spell check your article before publishing it in da maui time. Its a slap in da face for typing naive hawaiian community. You is naive for not checking your spelling...”

“H

Overheard “You have very nice tattoos. I knew a wahine with a tattoo once.

She was a whore. She had it above her belly button. It said, ‘Please pay before entering.’”

-Old man at the Maui Mall, Dec. 22

would negatively impact Maui and those who need the revenue, which you apparently would rather see go to NYC or similar mainland tournament locations... I am not sure if one should take this article seriously or is this author a master of disguise in his attempt at sarcasm or irony? If he is serious what planet did he arrive from?... I wanted to put in my two cents regarding This Week’s Picks. I’m not crazy about the new format... Don’t demonize [Peter] Nicholas or MPL [Molokai Properties Ltd]; that is just a cheap shot. ■

Send your feedback to the editor editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback.

Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1528n1

DECEMBER 29, 2011

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NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPARD

STRETCHED LOBES! In some primitive cultures, beauty and status are displayed via large holes in the earlobe from which to hang heavy ornaments or to insert jewels or tokens, and BBC News reported in November that an “increasing” number of counterculture Westerners are getting their lobes opened far beyond routine piercing, usually by gradually stretching but sometimes with a hole-punch tool for immediate results. The hard core are “gauge kings,” showing a “commitment” to the lifestyle by making holes up to 10 mm (three-eighths inch) wide. Cosmetic surgeons told BBC News in November that they’re already preparing procedures for the inevitable wave of regretted decisions.

BALLOONING! Larry Walters made history in 1982 with a balloon ride in an ordinary lawn chair, lifted by 45 helium-filled weather balloons. He soared to over 16,000 feet in Southern California before descending by shooting the balloons one by one. In 2008, gas station manager Kent Couch of Bend, Ore., made a similar lawn-chair flight and had scheduled another for November 2011 to float over Baghdad to raise money for Iraqi orphans. Couch subsequently postponed his flight until March to give the charities more time to organize.

PRISON POWER! Corruption in some Latin American prisons has allowed powerful criminals to buy extraordinary privileges behind bars. News of the Weird’s report on Venezuela’s San Antonio prison in July described the reign of one drug lord-inmate, who presided over a personal armory, a local-community drug market and private parties. In a surprise raid in November on a prison in Acapulco, Mexico, the usual drugs and weapons turned up, but also 100 fighting roosters for daily gambling, along with a prisoner’s two pet peacocks.

HEIMLICH! The lives of many choking victims have been saved by the Heimlich Maneuver–even one received inadvertently, such as the one a Leesburg, Fla., motorist gave himself in 2001, after gagging on a hamburger, then losing control and smashing into a utility pole. In November 2011, as the mother of 8-year-old Laci Davis drove her to a Cincinnati hospital after a locket stuck in her throat and caused her to double over in pain, Mom hit a pothole, which jarred Laci and dislodged the locket loose into her stomach (later to come out naturally).

PRANKS! It seemed a rare event (first reported in 1994 but initially regarded as an “urban legend”).

However, twice now recently, workers have played a particularly dangerous prank on a colleague. A month after the recent News of the Weird story about Gareth Durrant’s lawsuit in England against co-workers who had inserted a compressed air hose into his rectum, a carpenter’s assistant in Nicosia, Cyprus, was jailed for 45 days for pulling the same stunt

on his colleague, rupturing his large intestine.

OVERBILLING! Sometimes professionals who overbill for their hours go too far, claiming obviously impossible schedules, such as lawyers News of the Weird reported on in 1992 and 1994 (one, a Raleigh, N.C., lawyer, submitted one client bills averaging nearly 1,200 hours a month–even though a month only has 744 hours). New York City officials said in October 2011, however, that it’s quite possible that city prison psychiatrist Dr. Quazi Rahman actually did work 141 hours one week, including 96 straight (because of a shortage of staff and because he could properly nap during his shifts). They ordered him to return only a tiny amount of his $500,000 in overtime payments for the last year.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the man driving lifted truck, trucker arm out the window, scanning the horizon (or parking lot) for a hot piece of arse.

While you’re so busy looking cool as shit behind the wheel of your silly beast, trying to impress da wahine, you continued to roll right through EVERY crosswalk & never give those daisy dukes a chance to stroll in front of you. There’s a reason chivalry is not dead, it works. So pull your head out of your ass & take a moment to slow down & let us cross. You might actually like what you see. ■

BULLETPROOF! Ten years ago, the fashionable bulletproof clothing industry was in its infancy, with Miss Israel creating a stir at the 2001 Miss Universe pageant with a bulletproof evening gown.

Since then, technology and design improvements have enabled leading stylist Miguel Caballero of Colombia to add to his fashion line. The New Yorker reported in September 2011 that Caballero had made a bulletproof dinner jacket for Sean Combs and kimono for Steven Seagal, and that Caballero clothes are available in strengths of bullet-stopping, from “9 mm” to “Uzi.”

VODKA-SOAKED TAMPONS!

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

Rumors that daring youth are inserting tampons soaked in vodka into body orifices to speed alcohol delivery have been around for at least 10 years. Curiously, the only regularsourced news stories come from TV stations in Phoenix (KNXV-TV in 2009 and KPHO-TV in 2011), and the “urban legends” source Snopes.com calls the whole idea far-fetched.

Nonetheless, in November 2011, a school resource officer told KPHO that there are “documented cases” and that “guys,” too, engage by inserting the tampons into their rectums. Dr. Dan Quan of the Maricopa Medical Center cautioned against the practice, warning of the dangers of mucosal irritation.

SURVIVALISTS! Anti-government survivalists engaged in highprofile standoffs have made News of the Weird–most recently the story of Ed Brown and his wife and supporters, resisting a federal tax bill, holed up for nine months in the New Hampshire woods near Plainfield in 2007. (The Browns were arrested by a U.S. marshal who tricked his way inside.) The longest-running standoff now is that of John Joe Gray, 63, and his extended family in a 47-acre, fortified compound in Trinidad, Texas. Gray has said he feels free on his land and warned authorities “better bring plenty of body bags” if they try to re-arrest him. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1528n3

DECEMBER 29, 2011

7

What a

year.

Let’s start with the democratic (or at least antiauthoritarian) revolutions sweeping through the Middle East. Across the board, all the big names in terror and dictatorship ended up dead or swept from power: Muammar Gaddafi, Hosni Mubarak, Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Charlie Sheen.

It was also the year Elizabeth Taylor, Steve Jobs, Amy Winehouse and Joe Frazier passed away. It was the year a massive earthquake and tsunami devastated Japan, and the Iraq war finally ended.

R.E.M. broke up, Sting turned 60 and Alec Baldwin got kicked off a plane for playing Words With Friends. New York seemed especially hard hit, with the contentious Wall Street occupation and that Spiderman musical.

If you think there’s no way our tiny, lovable little Maui could compete with all that drama, you’re wrong.

YE AR

in

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

8

DECEMBER 29, 2011

or the second time this millennium, Republican Alan Arakawa takes the oath of office as mayor of Maui County. And he’s boiling over with good ideas: more water projects, new affordable housing projects, bringing Halloween back to Lahaina. And something else: “One of the first things that I‘m going to do is issue a directive that all County employees will behave in a professional manner, and that any unprofessional behavior will be dealt with through disciplinary action,” he told Mauitime during an extended interview.

After years of debate and discussion, a ban on the distribution of plastic bags throughout the county finally goes into effect. Officials say the easiest thing for people to do is remember to take their own reusable bags into grocery stores, but trees everywhere know what will really happen, and they are scared.

In one of his first acts as a member of the Maui County Council, Mike White– the general manager of the Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel and a former member of the Maui Visitors Board (MVB)–proposes that the county give the MVB more than its current $3 million grant. Residents file complaints with the Board of Ethics within seconds.

In Honolulu, Democrat Neil Abercrombie gives his first State of the State address. Among other promises: the Hawaii Tourism Authority shouldn’t get so much state funding anymore. “The amount we are spending in the name of marketing Hawaii [$70 million] has grown disproportionate to the amount we need to spend on Hawaii’s own infrastructure,” he says. He also pledges to bring all 1,700 Hawaii prison inmates housed on the mainland back to Hawaii.

The price of a gallon of gasoline in Wailuku is about $4.03.

F

fter nearly two decades, the North Shore’s beloved Kuau Mart closes, but not before local artist/skim boarder Lanakila Kelliher helps paint a gorgeous mural on its wall. In somewhat but not really related news, a bill legalizing assisted-suicide dies a quick death in the state Legislature.

Officials form the County General Plan Committee to update the Maui Island Plan–a thorough examination how planning will proceed on Maui in the coming decades. “The task is daunting,” County Council member Gladys Baisa says, but says she’s “confident” the plan will be approved and enacted this year.

Apparently scared of bill SB1458 (sponsored by Maui’s own state Senator J. Kalani English), which would assist in the creation of medical marijuana dispensaries throughout the state, Maui Police Officers hand out anti-weed pamphlets at Walmart, even though medicinal marijuana has been legal in Hawaii for over a decade.

Two days after Valentine’s Day, Abercrombie signs a bill legalizing civil unions. “I have always believed that civil unions respect our diversity, protect people’s privacy and reinforce our core values of equality and aloha,” he says. Divorce lawyers, who now get a whole new class of potential clients, celebrate with paper hats, noisemakers and fireworks.

A

MARCH

he parking situation in Paia goes from “Getting Waterboarded While Listening To Katy Perry” on the M.E. Finn Scale of Torture to the slightly better “Flying Coach Next To Carrot Top” when that paved pay lot behind Charley’s finally opens.

But soon no one much cares about how it’s now slightly easier to get to Mana Foods because on March 10 a tsunami generated from a massive and deadly 9.0 earthquake in Japan hits Hawaiian shorelines at the bright and early hour of 3am. County spokesman Rod Antone calls it a “mess, not a disaster.” No one is killed, but Ma‘alaea and Lahaina Harbors end up filled with debris and swamped boats. Trash and rocks inundate at least one house in Paukukalo. When it’s over the county suffers about $3.3 million in damage, while the state costs rise to $30.6 million.

Arakawa presents his budget, which allocates $43.9 million for water sourcing and development and ends the practice of furloughing employees.

Senator English talks to Mauitime about his medical marijuana bill, which would set up a distribution pilot program for a medicinal marijuana dispensary. “I took this up because I saw people who were suffering, sometimes in the last months of their life,” he says.

T

APRIL

emember Mayor Arakawa’s promise to get all county employees to behave in a professional manner? Well, apparently Maui PD Officer Nelson Johnson never got that memo, because on April 12 he assaulted Mauitime Publisher Tommy Russo in the Wailuku Municipal Parking Lot while Russo was trying to film him with his iPhone. Russo had been trying to film Dog the Bounty Hunter, who was in the parking lot with his film crew entourage, when one of Dog’s security guys struck Russo for filming them (in a public place) without their permission. After reporting the story, Mauitime’s website is flooded with comments, many, many of which strongly disapprove (to put it mildly) of Officer Johnson’s behavior.

Soul Surfer, a movie based on the life of Bethany Hamilton, a young surfer chick from Kauai who lost her arm to a shark attack, comes out. “If you’re struggling, trust in God with everything you’re doing and don’t live like the world is telling you to live,” Hamilton tells us. “Especially for young girls: body image is such a huge issue. Live a healthy lifestyle and love yourself. Most importantly, focus on your inner beauty.”

Oh yeah, and the Hawaiian Grammy Awards come to an end. Since very few Hawaii-based musicians doing Hawaiian music actually won these awards, we can’t say we’re sorry to see them go.

Ali‘i Chang, who founded the Ali‘i Kula Lavender Farm, dies at the age of 69. “His first love was always nurturing the land,” says Lani Medina Weigert, his business partner.

The price of a gallon of gas in Wailuku?

About $4.99 a gallon.

R

NOW N OW FEATURING FEATURING S SPECIALIZED PECIALIZED

video recording in public, Mauitime vows to fight the subpoena. California media attorney Thomas Burke calls the subpoena “an overzealous reaction.”

Of course, the Prosecutor’s office has problems of its own when former prosecuting attorney Jacki Jura sues the county, alleging harassment and wrongful termination (another former prosecutor, Marie Kosegarten, is both named as a defendant in the suit and has her own lawsuit pending against the county). Her suit alleges all sorts of fun stuff like surfing porn on office computers, rampant name-calling, harassing comments about at least one attorney’s “hair color and chest size,” jealous superiors, falsified attendance reports and interoffice romances gone bad. Sounds like a killer place to work! Of course, all the alleged activities took place in the past Benjamin Acob administration, not the current, apparently professional, J.D. Kim regime.

Senator English’s pot dispensary bill goes up in smoke. In fact, it never even gets out of committee. Ditto the ethics complaints against County Councilman Mike White.

And yes, we’re aware that our little joke about trees fearing the plastic bag ban is a tad ironic, given that this newspaper you’re reading right now is printed on dead trees.

661.9005 1087 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA

JUNE

MAY pparently pissed off at at least one comment on Mauitime’s website about MPD Officer Johnson’s assault against Russo (detectives call the comment “terroristic threatening”), the Maui County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office subpoenas the IP addresses for all online commenters on Mauitime websites. Appalled at such heavy handed act which detracted from the core issue of a public safety official violently violating a citizen’s right to make a

A

outh Korean automaker CT&T announces that its plan to build 10,000 electric vehicles in Hawaii (organized by former Governor Linda Lingle!) is CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

S

DECEMBER 29, 2011

9

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9 dead, as are similar plans in Pennsylvania and South Carolina. Apparently, when a company loses 90 percent of its stock value in a year, building electric cars in Hawaii suddenly seems less of a priority.

Arakawa signs the county budget (which is $25 million lower in his Dept. of Water project allocations). Overall, the budget expands county spending by 10 percent. On Maui, the words Republican and Democrat apparently donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean a lot.

The Maui Redevelopment Agency charges ahead with plans to build a parking garage atop the current 208-stall Wailuku Municipal Parking Lot. The town lacks about 750 spaces, but the garage provides only 418, and its construction will turn Wailuku Town upside down for at least a year. Five years ago, locals greeted the plans with a mixture of consternation and outright opposition.

Nothing much has changed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is big, boxy and tall,â&#x20AC;? local activist Barbara Long tells the agency. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[It has] embellishments on facades that seem to mimic Kahului shopping malls.

That green color is everywhere.â&#x20AC;?

Oh, and on that promise to bring Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prisoners back from the mainland, Governor Abercrombie says the best way to do that is to sign a new $45.5 million contract with private prison builder/manager Corrections Corporation of America (CCA) to house 1,956 inmates at two Arizona facilities.

On the brighter side, reason somehow prevails at the Maui County Prosecutors Office, which withdraws the subpoena against Mauitime, saying they found the identity of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;terroristicâ&#x20AC;? commenter through normal police workâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;something Mauitime told the police they should have done before filing a subpoena.

By the way, did any of you notice the irony in the Maui PD demanding to see the identities of anonymous commenters on Mauitimeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s site while concealing the identities of police officers sanctioned by Internal Affairs (a special protection brought about by intense police union lobbying)?

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ood news for the islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baseball fans: Na Koa Ikaika signs the ace Japanese pitcher Eri Yoshida, 19, the first female to play professionally in the U.S. Shocker! The state Campaign Spending Commission busts former Maui County Council member Bill Medeiros (and current mayoral assistant) for filing exactly zero campaign finance reports during the 2010 election. Medeiros, who ran afoul of the commission back in 2008 for missing eight report filing deadlines (sometimes in excess of 600 days), told The Maui News that the reports were stolen, and that he filed a police report two months after the alleged theft (an earlier police report was allegedly lost). In any case, the commission fined Medeiros $2,750.

The state Health Department shuts down Laulima Farmsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fruit stand for not having proper permits. A few days later, the feds seize 17 birds from the East Maui Animal Refugeâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boo Boo Zooâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201C;as part of an investigation into the sanctuaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;non-com-

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Residents begin to wonder if the county is thinking of putting MPD Officer Keith Tagumaâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; the Terror of Wailuku Town, the baddest bad ass who ever carried a pad of parking tickets and puttered around in a cute little three-wheeled Go-4 Interceptor IIâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;out to pasture. The reason? Downtown Parking & Planning Associates issues a study saying the town should go with parking meters and dedicated meter maids.

At the same time, Wailuku infrastructure suffers a rash of breakdowns. Light poles crash at Wells Park, the countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s voicemail system breaks down entirely and doomsday sirens go off in town for no reason.

Meanwhile, Paypal founder Peter Thiel buys a 4,500 square foot house in Makena for $27 millionâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;the most ever paid for a house in Maui history.

Former Maui County Supervisor Richard I. C. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pabloâ&#x20AC;? Caldito dies at the age of 98. His is a complex legacy: he paved the way for Filipino-Americans to get into politics in both Hawaii and the U.S., and also was busted (between elected terms!) in 1963 for gambling.

Oh, and somebody steals five goats from the Surfing Goat Dairy (eventually two more get pilfered). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Milking goats like these have a value of about $12,000 each,â&#x20AC;? says owner Thomas Kafsack. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[B]ut they are not only valuable, they are family to us.â&#x20AC;?

ad news for the islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baseball fans: the 2nd Circuit Court rules that the Na Koa Ikaika baseball team (actually based in California) owes $12,259.53 to Pacific Radio Groupâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;a ruling that team owner Robert J. Young says came about â&#x20AC;&#x153;in default... [and was] handed down to us due to clerical error (for which we take full responsibility).â&#x20AC;?

B

pliance with their federal permit.” Near the end of the month, Wailuku Water Company builds a massive fence on their Waihe‘e property, apparently closing off access to the famous Swinging Bridges forever.

Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich campaigns on Maui. Specifically, the Door of Faith Church in Wailuku, where he wows a standing-room-only crowd of mostly TEA Party Maui people with assertions that “We need to begin to resurround [sic] the conversation with the intent of the founding fathers” and “You can’t create jobs with class warfare and bureaucratic socialism. He also called President Barack Obama “the best food stamp president in American history,” then shook nearly as many hands as the number of his own books and videos that he plugged.

90 percent of the island’s population).

Or that the Maui Humane Society announces that during the 2010/2011 year, they euthanized 5,174 of the 9,402 animals they received (that’s 55 percent, for those keeping track at home).

small business on the island these days.

Halloween returns to Lahaina, just as Arakawa promised it would. Though a few Native Hawaiians protested, saying it was disrespectful to hold such a party in the Lahaina Historic District, it goes off with few arrests and (sadly) little nudity.

DECEMBER

OCTOBER NOVEMBER

SEPTEMBER lexander & Baldwin, one of the most powerful companies in Hawaii for the last century, announces that next year, their subsidiary Matson Navigation–which used to be a separate company–will become a separate company (don’t worry: the growing, burning and harvesting of 37,000 acres of sugar cane on Maui, burning the eyes and lungs of local residents and providing incalculable tons of sugar to people who really don’t need it anyway, will continue as before).

University of Hawaii law professor, human rights attorney and all-around decent guy Jon M. Van Dyke dies at the age of 68.

One of his greatest victories was a lawsuit he filed in the 1990s against Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos on behalf of more than 9,500 Filipinos tortured or murdered by the regime. The $2 billion judgment Van Dyke and his wife Sherry Broder won in 1995 was the largest of its kind.

State officials begin muttering of some sort of mysterious and apparently serious “internal security breach” at the Hawaii Department of Taxation that may have started as early as 2008. An unknown number of unnamed state taxation bureaucrats are placed on “administrative leave without pay” pending a criminal investigation by the state Attorney General’s office. It all sounds really bad, but not bad enough for Abercrombie to crack a little tax joke: “To the extent that any wrongful activity has taken place, anyone who has participated in or has had knowledge of these activities that date back to at least 2008 will be brought to account.”

Brought to account! Ha! Zacharia Aubut, 17, of Kihei is hit by a car on Christmas Eve and dies. He’s the 20th motor vehicle fatality on Maui this year–up from 11 last year.

Oh, and MPD Officer Nelson Johnson?

Still on the job! ■

A

n one of those convergences that comes only once in a thousand years, Linda Lingle announces on National Coming Out Day that she’s running for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Democrat Daniel Akaka.

The exciting anti-corporate greed mayhem of Occupy Wall Street reaches Maui shores with a sign-waving thing in front of the State Office Building in Wailuku on Oct. 7. Unlike the massive gatherings that sprung up in places like New York and Oakland, where legions of young people descended on the streets and skirmished with battalions of cops, this was clearly an older person’s game. In fact, it was pretty much the same people who show up at all the Maui Peace Action sign-wavings and protests. It was mostly an anti-Afghanistan War thing, but the one demonstrator who showed up with a sign saying “END FEDERAL RESERE [sic]” wasn’t really helping any cause.

Laird Hamilton–the guy we’re all supposed to blame for stand-up paddling (as well as credit for tow-in surfing)–and his volleyball player-wife Gabrielle Reece decide to sell their $2.4 million Maui home (original selling price: $2.75 million) to move to Kauai for some reason.

Giddy from the success of Wailuku’s “First Friday” town party (started, if you recall, by local attorney Dave Jorgensen’s wish to find a good pau hana spot each month), county officials announce that there will now be four town parties each month: Wailuku gets the first, Lahaina gets the second Friday, Makawao the third and Paia the fourth Friday. Given the fact that Paia’s town parties are mostly labors of love for local merchants, Lahaina’s are traditionally art gallery-centered and Makawao really has none of the experience, sidewalks or parking to deal such events, residents hope for the best.

Wokstar, one of the more colorful and tasty noodle houses on the island, closes after three years of business at Kihei’s Kalama Village. Reasons abound, but probably the best is that it just sucks trying to run a

I

e all discover that Hawaii excels at two disciplines: crappy rural roads and workplace methamphetamine use. According to the non-profit think tank The Road Information Program in Washington, D.C., “in 2008, 29 percent of the state’s major rural roads were rated in poor condition, the fifth highest share in the nation.” What’s more, “an additional 68 percent of Hawaii’s major rural roads were rated in mediocre or fair condition.” When you combine that with an Associated Press report that said meth use in workplaces here was “410 percent greater than the national average,” you really start to wonder if there’s anything this state can’t do.

Native Hawaiian families in Waihe’e, upset and appalled at Wailuku Water Company’s closing of access to Swinging Bridges– which also cuts them off from watersheds used by their ancestors–prepare to march in solidarity, but never even get close to the new gate.

Borders Express closes at the Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, which means there’s now just one true bookstore on the island (that would be Barnes & Noble, in Lahaina) where you can buy Paia resident Paul Kramer’s self-published children’s book Maggie Goes on a Diet, which has become a sensation among Internet trolls everywhere. Then again, it’s doubtful few of the thousand or so people who emailed their hate to Kramer ever took the time to actually read more than the title of his gentle tale of a young girl who learns to love herself through healthy living.

Of course, that pales before the stunning report in The Maui News saying 91,000 people on Maui have Costco cards (roughly

W

onstruction crews start working on Sanford Carr’s new 200,000-square foot shopping center at his still unfinished Kehalani subdivision in Wailuku. Neighborhood residents cheer when they find that when it’s completed, they’ll be five minutes closer to a Longs, Foodland and McDonald’s.

Castle & Cook announce that they want to build 170 windmills in the 20,000-acre Ka‘a ahupua‘a (by comparison, by the Kaheawa wind farm above the Pali has just 20 windmills). Though this would provide many, many megawatts of clean energy, the locals get fired up, mostly because of the area’s designation as one of the state’s “most endangered historic places.”

Speaking of neighbor islands, Molokai Properties executive Peter Nicholas– the guy who managed the shutdown of Molokai Ranch back in 2008 that put 120 people out of work–retires to Fiji, leaving behind an island trying to cope with a 17.5 percent unemployment rate.

Remember that Maui Island Plan thing that Councilmember Baisa said would pass this year? Well, it’s not gonna happen–at least not until August 2012, which is about four years after the plan was originally supposed to be done.

Hell, remember the old Hawaii Superferries? Turns out the U.S. Navy will take possession of things after all. Like anyone saw that coming.

The price of a gallon of gas in Wailuku?

About $4.34.

C

What a

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2012 should be a doozy!

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FOOD&DRINK

2011: The Year

In Maui Restaurants

BY JEN RUSSO

T

HE OLD ADAGE that everybody must eat seems to be working in the food and beverage industry because there have been some fearless restauranteurs in 2011, to say nothing of an incredible number of new openings compared to closings. Chef Peter Merriman opened Monkeypod Kitchen in Wailea with an amazing selection. Vineyard Food Company (headed by Chef Giles) opened in Wailuku, then later expanded into the space next door. Chef Sheldon Simeon and the Ho Aloha Na Eha Crew busted out Leoda’s–the picturesque destination dining in Oluwalu. Chef Mark Ellman opened Honu Seafood and Pizza Restaurant, located next to Mala Ocean Tavern on Front Street. Two new restaurants have opened in the last seven days, Fabiani's in Kihei on Lipoa and Spanky's Riptide at 505 Front Street.

Food trucks were a predicted trend upping the ante from 2010, and Maui delivered, with popular food truck food popping up everywhere and in lots of flavors. The newest being the bento truck (which appears at the Kahului Boat Landing Unofficial Food Truck Food Court), the Puerto Rican Food truck (follow them–literally–on Twitter @daPRFT) and My Office at Park Plaza in Kihei’s Tech Park. With changing destinations, sellout menus and weekly specials, lunches have become new and exciting again.

The buzz words for Maui foodies in 2011 were “Eat Local,” which in turn made “Farm to Table” into the mantra for the chefs. I’o and Pacifico were some of the restaurants ahead of the curve, since they have their own O’o Farm up in Kula. Meanwhile, executive chefs from the major resorts began planting their own on-property gardens and added farmers to their speed-dial lists.

Chef Alan Wong, who plans to open a restaurant in the Grand Wailea in 2012, is fond of quoting the Hawaii Department of Agriculture study saying that if we can replace just 10 percent of the foods we import with locally grown and manufactured foods, then we could generate $94 million for farmers in our local economy. Kanu Hawaii (@kanuhi) is a website that urges individuals and corporations to make public eat-local goals like, “I will source

one meal daily from local protein and produce.” Destinations like Tedeschi Winery, the Ali’i Lavendar Farm and the Surfing Goat Dairy are part of a new push for tours that involve local food production and agriculture. Eat Local has become a catch phrase for shopping at farmers markets, ag tourism and now dining out.

The Cocktail Renaissance may yet reach us on Maui.

Pretentious wax mustachioed tie and suspender-clad speakeasy mixologists may abound in the metro mainland but here, that would never fly with the Mai Tai, happy hour, sun seeking tropical beach bar clientele. Of course, Mauians can still hold their drink, and locals in the know go to great lengths to search out the best cocktail menus.

Liquor sales continued to grow in our county, the $236 million in gross liquor sales reported by the LC in 2010 was up from the year before, and 2011 is on the same trajectory.

But highlights in local liquor go to our distilleries, which continue to turn out quality adult beverages and garner national attention. Hali'imaile Distillery and master distiller Mark Nigbur made perhaps the biggest splash with the launch of Sammy Hagar’s new Beach Bar Rum, available exclusively on Maui for the moment. Haleakala Distillery’s exotic Okolehao is coveted on the mainland, and they now have a pineapple rum that you can only try at The Westin Maui. Wine Dinners, wine festivals, film festivals, foodie events, bartender competitions, red carpet revels and the Don the Beachcomber Mai Tai Festival are helping us all shake off that 80’s pre-mix stupor and step into the 21st Century of handcrafted cocktails.

In 2011, the U.S. Department of Agriculture, working in conjunction with the Department of Health and Human Services, blew American minds with their updated dietary guidelines (they update every five years). Three main points were the groundbreaking suggestions from their last update: eat more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, fat-free and low-fat dairy products and seafood; eat less sugar, salt, cholesterol, trans-fats and refined grains like white flour; balance consumption of calories with exercise.

The catch? There are no recommendations for the corporate food producers to stop filling our super markets with Hostess treats and other processed foods filled with salt, sugar and refined grains. Nor are there recommendations for large fast food conglomerates to cease marketing meals full of sodium, fat and cholesterol. The result, which is hardly surprising, is that there’s little change in the way America eats. In fact, a new study by the University of Michigan suggests obesity may be one of the unintended side effects of our free market policies. Lucky for us places like 2011's westside Choice Health Bar opened to guide us through delicious raw food and fresh juices.

Finally, in 2011 chefs and restaurants became more savvy in using Twitter, Facebook, blogs and the ever-adapting world of social networking. Static websites have given way to blogs, online booking reservations sites like Open Table and food and service critiques on Yelp and Urbanspoon. Chefs and foodies alike now share food pictures through Instagram and follow each other’s gastronomic adventures on social sharing sites like foodspotting like never before.

OPENED IN 2011:

Casanova

Spanky’s Riptide, Lahaina Fabiani’s, Kihei Bistro Manila, Kahului Four Sisters Restaurant, Wailuku Monkeypod Kitchen, Wailea Da Office at Lahaina Cafe

Choice Health Bar

Royal Lahaina’s Barefoot Bar, Ka’anapali Lilikoi Cafe, Haiku Honu, Lahaina Jay’s Place, Lahaina Saffron, Kihei Guava Gouda & Caviar, Kihei My Office, Kihei Sweet Paradise Chocolate, Wailea Teddy’s Bigger Burger, Lahaina Yum Yum, Wailuku Captain Jacks, Lahaina Leodas, Oluwalu Choice Health Bar, Lahaina Da Sushi Bar and Nai's Place, Kahului

CONGRATULATIONS: Buzz's Wharf: Over 40 years serving food on Maui Casanova turned 25 Roy’s turned 20 All of the Best of Maui Maui Time Food and Drink Winners Capische: Open Table's Top 50 Romantic Restaurants in the US Lahaina Grill: Open Table's top 10 Hawaii Restaurants Mama's Fish House: Open Table's top 10 Hawaii Restaurants, open since 1973

REOPENED IN 2011: Paukukalo Store–The original owners came back and reopened with their $1.50 Pakuz Burgers.

Melting Pot–After closing their doors in October, they reopened Dec 20 with a new world menu & wine concept, plus the fondue.

Taco Del Mar–A new owner, who was a fan of the restaurant under the old owners, gave Kahului the $6 Mondo burrito again.

Blue Lagoon-The beloved Wharf waterfall grotto and lounge is back!

FAREWELL TO: Scoreboards, Kiwi Roadhouse, Max Bistro Village Cafe, Alexander’s Fish and Chips, Wok Star, Tia Juana’s, Cafe 808, Da Kitchen (Lahaina) ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1528d1

DECEMBER 29, 2011 13

14

DECEMBER 29, 2011

FOOD&DRINK

Welcome 2012 with good friends, good music, good food & great atmosphere!

FOODIE NEWS

WITH THE ONLY BALL DROP

BY JEN RUSSO

Cooking Under The Stars Sabra Ricciâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lobster for Leos mixes astrology with good food

M

ach. It has a list of the items that sooth the tumaui Chef Sabra Ricci my and a little bit about how it helps the stomcooks under the stars, ach, and then the recipes that follow incorby the stars and for the stars. With her hot porate those items into delicious dishes and Hollywood clientele aldrinks. My own signâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chapter on the neurotic ways consulting her on astrology while she Virgo tells how to ease my high-strung self with created their dishes, she decided it was time broccolini, lavendar and tryptophan (What, no to write a cookbook combining the two dishard liquor?). I also got into the brain foods for ciplines. At her very first Maui Writerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ConAries; the artichoke heart hummus recipe has ference in 2005, she pitched the idea to an already landed in my regular repetoir. agent and got signed on the spot. But soon â&#x20AC;&#x153;After I narrowed down the list of foods that after the economy took a wrong turn, and her supported the sign, I took some of the recipes original luxury book plan from similar dishes I make needed reworking. Six for my clients,â&#x20AC;? said Ricci. years later, the finished â&#x20AC;&#x153;Others I developed speproduct, Lobster for cifically for the chapter.

Leos, Cookies for CapSome of them are inspired ricorns, is for sale. by the personalities of the Ricci says it was a signs, like lobster for Leos. painstaking journey, Everything has to be the but she never gave up. best for Leos.â&#x20AC;?

It was her tenacity and Chef Ricci will be on the passion for the book Today Show on Monday, that eventually got her Jan. 2 at 8am with celebpublisher (St. Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rity gal pal Jenny McCarthy Press) to sign the deal. (both are Scorpios). They Ricci is a seasoned aswill be helping Ann Curry trologist, having picked (also a Scorpio) and Matt Chef Sabra Ricci and Celeb it up as a teen and conLauer (Capricorn) figure tinued to study it all her out what foods to eat to Jenny McCarthy toast to life. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contributed start the new year healthy. astrological superfoods articles to Tarot.com On Feb. 13, Ricci and and Daily Astrology but McCarthy will appear on decided to keep the Chelsea Lately where anybooks light so that anyone can understand the thing can happen. astrology and relate to the recipes.

Lobster for Leos is the first book in a series The premise of the cookbook is entertainof 12 books that Ricci will be writing on astrolment: each astrological sign has a part of ogy and food. The next one will focus on how the body that it lords over, so each chapter to romance each astrological sign with food. â&#x2013; includes a series of recipes for a particular jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso sign that advocates for their zone of the human system.

Got a hot food scoop? Contact Jen Now Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not a huge devotee of astrology, Russo at 808-280-3286 but the bookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lighthearted approach made it or fax to 808-244-0446. fun to read. The book tells you what the signs are like in the kitchen, and what to expect if To share or save this article, type: your dinner party guest is of a certain sign. mt.hy.pr/1528d2 Another way to read the cookbook is to go by what ails you. I loved the Cancer signâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s For more foodie news, visit MauiTimeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chapter on foods that are great for your stomfood blog at: mauidish.com

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DECEMBER 29, 2011

PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29 9 KWANZAA CELEBRATION WITH THE AFRICAN AMERICANS ON MAUI ASSOCIATION - Celebrate the seven principals of Kwanzaa–umoja (unity), kujichagulia (self determination), ujima (collective work and responsibility), ujamaa (cooperative economics), nia (purpose), kuumba (creativity) and imani (faith)–with a Kwanzaa reading shared by Nubian Pageant Systems. Free. Iao Parkside Recreational Center (park at the Wailuku Community Center and follow the red, green and black balloons); 280-1394

SHERYL COOPER’S 3RD ANNUAL HOLIDAY MASTER DANCE CLASS - Learn sweet steps from Sheryl Cooper at these charitable dance classes. And, yes. We mean Sheryl Cooper as in Alice Cooper’s wifey of 30 years. She’s danced in videos for her hubby, Aerosmith, The Bee Gees and Peter Frampton, and studied with some of the dance community’s most notable, like Ruth Page, Robert Joffrey, Joe Tremaine, Glen Tetley and Michael Kidd. Plus, her professional credits include California’s Pasadena Dance Theater and Chicago’s Hubbard Street Dance Company, as well as work with the likes of Goldie Hawn, Steve Martin, George C. Scott and the late great Jackie Gleason. Three classes beginning at 6pm. $15 each class / $30 all three classes. Proceeds benefit the Alice Cooper solid Rock Foundation. Omori Studio A, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); RSVP by calling 280-0047; alicecoopersolidrock.com

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30 STELLA BLUES CAFE’S SUPPER CLUB FEATURING JOHN CRUZ - Enjoy the soulful sounds of one of Hawaii’s most prolific and beloved songwriters, John Cruz. $30 show-only / $60 fourcourse dinner. 6pm dinner seating. 7:30pm show. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com

BENEFIT FOR THE BIRDS - Maui Brewing Comompany and Maui Forest Bird Recovery Project (MFMFBRP–that’s the organization’s acronym, not an ononomatopoeia for bird poop) team to offer pints for peeps. eps.

The brewery donates half of tonight’s pint saless to MFBRP, a research organization dedicated to the recovery of Maui’s rare, native bird species. No cover. ver.

6pm. Maui Brewing Company (Kahana Gateateway Shopping Center, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy.); y.); mauiforestbirds.org

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31 NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES - This New Years Eve, it seems like every watering hole worth their liquor license is hosting a happening replete with party hats, kazoos and complimentary bubbly at midnight. Some bars are even springing for balloon drops and what not. And, no matter your audible aesthetic, each offers loads of live entertainment to shimmy to (and a host of Hawaiian hotties to smooch) at the stroke of midnight. So check out page 19 for our party roundup, and make this week’s pick your pick. But hey, man–if you wanna Snuggie-up with your TV on NYE and watch ol’ Dick’s ball drop by your lonesome, that’s your call.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 1 LOUISE LAMBERT BAND Bring your dancing shoes and boogie woogie woogie to the jazzy rhythm and blues of the Louise Lambert Band, featuring Curt Lee (guitar) and James Somera (drums). No cover.

7-10pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 8793133; threesbarandgrill.com

BILL MAHER - Who cares if atheist ain’t got no songs? We’ve got Bill Maher! Maher brings the hilarity of sanity to the Valley Isle, probably because he wanted a Hawaiian vacation. He’s a busy, deserving guy, after all. When he isn’t hosting HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher (airing seven years strong, following the 1993-2002 run of similarly formatted show Politically Incorrect, on Comedy Central and ABC), playing himself on TV shows and in film, and writing books like New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer and When You Ride Alone You Ride With Bin Laden: What The Government Should Be Telling Us To Help Fight The War On Terrorism, he’s making award-winning documentaries like Religulous, which is the seventh highest grossing doco, like, ever. 8pm. $35.50 / $45.50 / $65.50 / $85.50. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MONDAY, MO ON ND DAY AY, JA JJANUARY ANUAR 2 LADIES’ N’ ‘80s NIGHT - If your assets are are well placed as our apostrophes (and even if they aren’t) show off your stuff at Ambrosia’s Ladies’ & ‘80s Night with musical host, DJ Skinny Guy. Specialty martinis are just $6 each, and

there’s never a cover charge–which means you’ve got more dough to play with.

No cover. 10pm-close. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com

TUESDAY, JANUARY 3 45-TON TALKS - If you like deep n’ heavy conversations, this event’s for you. Every Tue. and Thu. the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary hosts a free lecture to tell the tale of whales in Hawaiian waters. Free. 11am-12pm.

Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale Marine Sanctuary (726 S. Kihei Rd.); hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

FREE COOKING CLASS: “VEGETARIAN SOLUOLUTIONS FOR BETTER HEALTH” - Each Tue.,, vegetarian Chef Jessica Oshier leads a special cooking class that provides educational materials, practical actical tips, recipes, cooking demonstrations, and–of course–free samples. This week’s feature: “Asian Delight” t” featuring miso soup, soba noodles with toasted sesame e sauce and green papaya salad. Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Down wn to Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 877-2661; downtoearth.org th.org

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4 WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY - The meaning of time will boggle your mind when you think about Casanova’s weekly ladies’ night. It’s a late night mainstay that’s gone on strong for 21 years, such that the spawn of couples who met at Casanova way back in the day are themselves now

prowlin’ this Upcountry eatery. Chilltown’s DJ Blast plays cupid, spinnin’ baby makin’ beats that help get everyone in the mood. Talk about fireworks! $10. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com

DECEMBER 29, 2011 17

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DECEMBER 29, 2011

PICKS

NEW YEAR’S EVE ROUND UP!

BY ANU YAGI

O

h, “Auld Lang Syne.” You know, that traditional song sung at the stroke of midnight when balls drop, champagne kisses are sloppy and 12 months of Gregorian timekeeping flips anew. Let’s be real–no one really knows the lyrics to this ol’ Scottish tune anymore, and anyway it doesn’t matter because we’re all too drunk to bother with being proper (or at least, ought to be).

Still, everyone manages to at least get the first part right, which is the most important: “Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?” It’s a rhetorical question, and the answer (though we need none), is hell no! The New Year holiday is a time to celebrate all those dear, whether or not they’re near; a time to make amends and a time to make new friends, too.

So, as you “run the slopes” and “paddle the stream” and “take a good-will draught,” give a thought to your fellows–and foes–and we’ll “all take a cup of kindness yet.” To help you figure out where you’ll toast to a year past and yet to come, here’s a roundup of happenings across the isle. Cheers!

monkeypodkitchen.com MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE’S NYE EXTRAVAGANZA - Mulligan’s on the Blue has the best view of Wailea fireworks. So find your phone (quick!) and make reservations for their annual NYE Extravaganza–which always sells out in a hurry. If you’ve already got a midnight engagement, check out their early bird special ($35; 5:30-7:30pm), seated inside, with music by Joyce and Gord. Or, stick around for the extravaganza with The House Shakers, featuring Paul Marchetti, Kenny Blue, Fulton Toshombe and Lenny Castellanos, plus special guests Felicity and Kelly Covington ($65 dinner package; 7:30-9:30 dinner seating). General admission: $15 advance / $20 door. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA’S NYE SHINDIG - Everything is awesome at Ambrosia, no matter the night–but especially on New Year’s Eve! Indulge in a different shot special every hour, watch the NYC ball drop on Ambrosia’s giant screen, and gulp bubbly at the stroke of midnight. Meanwhile, trip the light fantastic with DJ Decka. No cover. 7pm-2am. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-1011 DIAMOND’S NYE PARTY - Countdown to midnight with The John Grover Band. No cover. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-9299 DOG & DUCK’S NYE DANCE PARTY - Ahh. That’s the onomatopoeia for a sigh of relief; because as we head into 2012, we can finally file-away 2011’s The Dougie alongside 1995’s Macarena (what we like to call the first international folk dance) and 1976’s Electric Slide. But who knows? Get your groove on at this party and maybe you’ll invent the first dance craze of the new year. But if you do, make sure it’s a good one, m’kay? No cover. Dog & Duck Irish Pub (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 875-9669 GANNON’S NYE PARTY - Enjoy music by DJ Dan and dancing in the main dining room, plus late night and dessert buffets and a champagne toast. $75. 8:30pm-12:30am. Gannon’s (100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 875-8080; gannonsrestaurant.com LIFE’S A BEACH’S NYE PARTY - Dat Guyz featuring Keola play Jawaiian favorites (PS: you can catch ‘em every Fri. night, too) and LAB’s giving away party hats and horns plus a champagne toast at midnight. No cover. 9pm-close. Haui’s Life’s A Beach (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-8010 FAIRMONT KEA LANI’S NYE GALA - An undersea theme evening of island cuisine, entertainment, tropical cocktails and dancing. Begins with a premium open bar and pupus followed by a gourmet buffet. Reservations required. $250 / $150 16-to 20-year-olds / $60 six-to 15-year-olds / free for keiki 5-years-old and younger. The Fairmont Kea Lani (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 875-22290; concierge.kealani@fairmont.com LULU’S KIHEI NYE SHINDIG - Barbara & Neto spice up the dance floor with live Latin music. $15 advance. LuLu’s Kihei (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-9944 MONKEYPOD KITCHEN’S NYE ENTERTAINMENT - Enjoy the wide repertoire of Randall Rospond. 6:30-8:30pm.

Monkeypod Kitchen (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 891-2322;

OCEANS’ NYE BASH Ring in the New Year at this ragin’ Southside watering hole. $10.

10pm. Oceans Bar & Grill (1910 S. Kihei Rd.); 8912414 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE’S NYE DANCE PARTY Get hooked up with mad party favors, then get your groove with DJ LX, until their midnight balloon drop and champagne toast. No cover. South Shore Tiki Lounge (2411 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-6444 STELLA BLUES CAFE’S NYE EXTRAVAGANZA - The roof is on fire (metaphorically speaking) with fireworks of funk by Soul Congress (featuring Josh Greenbaum, Shawn Michael, Clay Mortensen and Chris Sendry), playing the tunes of Prince, P-Funk, Earth Wind & Fire, Stevie Wonder and more. Your allnight funk pass includes heavy pupus like ahi poke spoons, oyster shooters and caprese skewers (9-11pm) and a champagne toast (12am). Advance tickets available at Stella Blues and 808 Deli (Kihei). $40 (late night pass 11pm-close) / $60 (all night pass 9pm-close). Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 8743779; stellablues.com THREE’S NYE BASH - No matter the night, Next Level Entertainment brings the goods, and on NYE they’re hosting Maui’s biggest balloon drop. Best of all, it’s all free. No cover. 10pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

WEST MAUI BUZZ’S WHARF’S “UNDER THE SEA” NYE PARTY - Enjoy live music and dancing with Wolf (5-8pm) and Deja Vu (9pm12:30m). Bring your smartphone and interact with hosts to win great prizes. $80 four-course dinner / $100 with shuttle (available with second seating time). 6pm first seating. 8:30pm second seating. Buzz’s Wharf (Ma’alaea Harbor); 244-5426; buzzswharf.com BLUE LAGOON LAHAINA’S NYE BALL DROP - Drop it like it’s hot while the ball drops with DJ Mike, who spins ‘80s dance

hits. Cover charge includes pupu buffet featuring sashimi and their menu’s best grinds. $15 cover / $100 table service (for four) includes party favors and bottle of champagne. Blue Lagoon Lahaina (658 Front St.); 661-4900 CAPTAIN JACK’S & COOL CATS’ NYE SHINDIGS - These neighboring joints mean you get twice the chance to enjoy live music and dancing, plus a late night menu served ‘til midnight.

Captain Jack’s / Cool Cats (Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina); 667-0988 / 667-0908 HARD ROCK’S NYE PARTY - Seattle’s DJ Liam Grist keeps the dance floor lively, and patrons can enjoy a complimentary champagne toast and gift bags. No cover. 10pm. Hard Rock Cafe (900 Front St.); 667-7400 KIMO’S NYE PARTY - Enjoy lively tunes from DJ Ron and complimentary party favors. Plus, visit the restaurant’s website and download a coupon for a free Hula Pie dessert with the purchase of two entrees on NYE. No cover. 9:30pm-12:30am.

Kimo’s (845 Front St., Lahaina); 661-4811; kimosmaui.com LULU’S LAHAINA’S NYE BLOWOUT PARTY - Six sexy go go dancers rock the stage while DJ MOney Mike and DJ Big Mike play booty shakin’ beats while MC Philly Blunt keeps the hype up. Plus, LuLu’s offers a video countdown to midnight and a champagne toast. 9:30pm-2am. LuLu’s Lahaina (Lahaina Cannery Mall); 661-0808 / text 446-6180 for VIP info.

TIMBA’S NYE BLACK AND WHITE PARTY - Ring in the New Year in swanky style at Timba’s annual black & white party (read: dress accordingly). Tickets sell out fast and include a complimentary bottle of Moet and bunches of B&W favors. Advance tickets available at groovetickets.com. 9:45pm. Timba (505 Front St., Lahaina); 463-1371; timbamaui.com

CENTRAL /UP COUNTRY MAUI “DANCE INTO THE LIGHT” Welcome 2012 with a midnight peace flame ceremony and the sounds of Dust of Vraj, Maui Underground, Diane Patterson, Molten Soul, Maesyn, Dreaming Bear, Extremely High Frequency, SacredEarth Ensemble, Mirayah Delamar, SacredEarth Bellydance Troupe, Gabriel Wolf Child, plus Mekila. Sponsored by Sacred Earth Assembly, Temple of Peace and Mystic Island Festival. Tickets available at Paia’s Mandala Ethnic Arts. 7pm-4am. Held at a private North Shore estate. For more information, check out SacredEarth Assembly on Facebook.

CASANOVA’S NYE PARTY - NYE treats abound at Casanova. For your ears: the happy, future-surf tunes of Nectar Collector, plus DJ Sid and The Guilty Pleasures. And for your eyes: the bonny beauties of Kit Kat Club Cabaret and live visual projections by Gabe Mott. Midnight bubbly and party favors included with cover! Presented by Origins Music and Tasty Pie Productions. $20 door. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com / facebook. com/originsmusic CHARLEY’S NYE PARTY - Bob Jones & The Drive, MOTHxp and Owaila take over the North Shore’s famous saloon, Charley’s. Party includes favors and a champagne toast at midnight. $20. 9pm. Charley’s (142 Hana Hwy.); 579-8085; charleysmaui.com STOPWATCH’S NYE PARTY - Party it up Upcountry at this Makawao rager with Eddie & The Promises. $5. 9pm-1am.

Stopwatch Sports Bar (1127 Makawao Ave.); 572-1380 ■ anu@mauitime.com

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1528p2 For the freshest thing to do, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com

DECEMBER 29, 2011 19

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar

BY ANU YAGI

BIG SHOWS SUPPER CLUB FEAT. JOHN CRUZ - Fri., Dec. 30. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more.

7:30pm show. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com NYE PARTIES - Sat., Dec. 31. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for all the big New Years Eve shows, you should look at page 19 for our party roundup. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re welcome.

BILL MAHER - Sun., Jan. 1. See This Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Picks for more. $35.50 / $45.50 / $65.50 / $85.50. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

TICKETS ON SALE

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

THURS

DEC.29

A MAUIMUSICMECC 1.

$07&3 t PRESENTS GUEST DJ t /0

FRIDAY

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UFC 141 - LESNAR VS OVEREEM 51.

-*7& .64*$ 8

IDDIM ROOTIKA7&3L t R 1. $0

SATURDAY

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TUESDAY

JAN. 3

NEW YEARS EVE BASH $07&3 t 1.

ESDAY TACO TU 1.

WEDNESDAY

JAN.4

TH IBIZA ON MAUI WI 7&3 t 1.

DJ PEAK /0 $0 &3 1.

"-- %3*/,4 "'5

20 DECEMBER 29, 2011

PROARTS PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;RUTHLESS!â&#x20AC;? - Returning from a holiday hiatus, this show continues its run Thu., Fri., and Sat., Jan. 6 through 15. This witty, campy off-Broadway hit is the final show of ProArtsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fall / Winter season, and follows the story of a naive 1950s housewife and her adorableâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;but sociopathic 8-yearold daughter. Starring Lia Krueger, Heider Turner, Kristi Scott, Dale Button, Alison Mikes and Rose Roselinsky, plus the choreography talents of Aly Cardinalli. Musical direction by Anne Durham and Marti Kluth, retro costumes

by Sarah Loney, scenery by Caro Walker and lighting by Bonnie Brucha. Produced by Jonathan Lehman. 7:30pm Thu-Sat. / 3pm Sun. $25 adults / $20 youth 18-years-old and younger. ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 4636550; proartspacific.com SCREENING: WARREN MILLERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S â&#x20AC;&#x153;LIKE THEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NO TOMORROWâ&#x20AC;? - Sat., Jan. 7.

Warren Millerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 62nd annual winter sports film, narrated by Olympic gold medalist Jonny Moseley and shot on location in five continents. $12 general / $10 keiki 12-years-old and younger. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: MAUI ONSTAGEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ONO! (ONE NIGHT ONLY) SERIES PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;OUTSPOKENâ&#x20AC;? - Mon., Jan. 9 - This teen poetry slam features Levi Young, Isaac Rauch, Ashley Erickson, Dylan Thomas, Marissa Godinez, Jaya Bauer, Alima Wooley, Rachel Simmons, Kat Kress, Feona Wais, Robell Jacobs, Mike Minkleron and hosted by Shawn Naone-Burger.

Free. 6:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 244-8680; mauionstage.com SOLO SESSIONS FEAT. KUANA TORRES KAHELE - Thu., Jan. 12. Born on the slopes of Mauna Kea, Kuana Torres Kahele began composing at a young age. In 1995, he formed the award-winning duo Na Palapalai, critically acclaimed for resurrecting Hawaiian classics.

This Solo Session series installment celebrates his anticipated solo release, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kaunaloa.â&#x20AC;? $25 standard / $45 VIP. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAUI ONSTAGE PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;ONE HOT WINTERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NIGHTâ&#x20AC;? - Fri., Jan. 13. A nostalgic burlesque show (appropriate for adults

17-years-old and older) featuring performances

by Lia Krieg, Casey Murphy, Jonna Ahn, Natalie Raynes, Patty Silva, Mark Bolden and the Kit Kat Club Cabaret. Plus, comedy by Chino LaForge and live music by the Iao Orchestra. $15. 7:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 244-8680; mauionstage.com THE FREERADICALS PROJEKTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CD RELEASE PARTY - Fri., Jan. 13. Celebrate the release of â&#x20AC;&#x153;SoulFire Radioâ&#x20AC;? with the funkalicious Freeradicals Projekt plus special guest DJ Paul Gotel. Tickets available at Requests (Wailuku), The Wine Corner (Paia) and Choice Health Bar (Lahaina). $15 advance / $20 door. 9pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; reverbnation.com/freeradicalsprojekt MOONLIGHT SERIES FEAT. MACEO PARKER - Sat., Jan. 14. Pass the peas, gimme some more! The one and only Maceo Parkerâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; the funk saxophonist famed for his work with Parliament Funkadelic and James Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;is coming to Maui. Seriously. $35 / $40. 7:30pm.

A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: ART MAUI PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;ART OF THE JURORâ&#x20AC;? SYMPOSIUM - Sat., Jan. 14. This annual symposium kicks off the Art Maui exhibition (Mar. 25â&#x20AC;&#x201C;see Announcements for more information), and this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s forum includes experts like Lauren Harris, 2012 juror Thomas Klobe, Dick Nelson and Allison Wong. 2-4:30pm. Alexa Higashi Meeting Room, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); artmaui. com; pictureitsolved@gmail.com MAUI BLACKIE GADARIAN AND SARA GADARIAN PRESENT STRAIGHT-AHEAD JAZZ EVENT #1 - Sat., Jan. 15. Featuring Gene Argel on Hammond B3 organ with a sixpiece band that includes saxophonist Eric Schneider from Chicago. $15 advance / $20 door (if available). 6:45pm doors for advance ticket holders. Timba (505 Front St., Lahaina); 6677979; mauiblackie.com NEW SHANGHAI CIRCUS - Mon. and Tue., Jan. 16 & 17. Chinese acrobatic skills have been passed on for generations and artists of New Shanghai Circus add layers of modern complexity with daring new techniques. Three shows: Jan. 16, 4:30pm & 7:30pm / Jan. 17, 7pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org AN INTIMATE EVENING OF JAZZ - Thu., Jan. 19. Jazz great Bill Mays (whose extensive resume includes Sarah Vaughn and Frank Zappa) joins local favorites Phil and Angie Benoit. Followed by an artist meet-and-greet. $30.

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org KUMU KAHUA THEATRE PRESENTS â&#x20AC;&#x153;A JIVEBOMBERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHRISTMASâ&#x20AC;? - Fri. & Sat, Jan. 20 & 21. This play, written by Saachiko and Dom Bagwili, was first produced by Los Angelesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Japanese American National Museum.

Though set in a WWII relocation camp for Japanese Americans, this story is filled with lighthearted nostalgia. $22. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MOONLIGHT SERIES FEAT. HAPA - Fri., Jan. 20. Unless you live under a rock (not withstanding the fact that we live on a rock), you already know that Barry Flanagan and Ron Kualaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;au are one of Hawaiiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite musical duos. $30 / $45. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT - Fri. Jan. 20.

Expect busy thrift stores as local indies prepare their concert-going threads for this hip show. $23.50 / $28.50 / $55.50. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org KANAKA HEKILI M/C 6TH ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT - Sat., Jan. 21. A three-person team, best ball scramble with a portion of proceeds benefitting Maui Veterans of Foreign Wars. Closest-to-the-pin and longest drive each win $100. First, second and third place teams win $600, $300 and $150, respectively. Plus, hole-in-one prizes include $10,000 (which was accomplished at their fourth annual tourney) and a Harley Davidson motorcycle. (PS: The M/C also seeks hole sponsorships and prize donations. To ensure signage, deadline for hole sponsorship ($100) is Jan. 14.) Tourney entry deadline is Jan. 16. $100 per golfer. Cost includes green and cart fees, a catered lunch at the Kihei VFW grounds, two raffle tickets, two mulligans and three chances at closest-tothe-pin. 6am check-in / 7am shotgun start. Elleair Maui Golf Club; Jim Lapham: 264-0168; kanakahekili.com Q103 FM PRESENTS STEVE-O (OF â&#x20AC;&#x153;JACKASSâ&#x20AC;? FAME) - Sat., Jan. 21. Yep, the McCartney to Johnny Knoxvilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lennon is coming to the Valley Isle (foâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; real this time), with opening comics Chino LaForge and Ed Kaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ahea. Hosted

by Michael C. Hall. Tickets available at Oceans (Kihei) and Bounty Music (Kahului), online at hightidecncerts.net and fla.vor.us/groovetickets, or by calling 1-855-2-FLAVOR. $35 advance.

7pm doors / 8pm show. Oceanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beach Bar & Grill (1819 S. Kihei Rd.) TEDXMAUI 2012 - Sun., Jan. 22. Because good ideas are worth spreading, Mauians host their own TEDx event. Hosted by Kainoa Horjaco and Leslie Wilcox. Guest speakers include Elizabeth Lindsey, Art Medeiros, Pualani Kanakaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ole Kanahele, W.S. Merwin, Byron Washom and Susan Casey. 9am-6pm. $99 general / $75 students & seniors. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org STORYTELLING FESTIVAL: MAUI, HINA & KA HANA KAPA - Sun., Jan. 22. The legend of the demi-god Maui lassoing the sun will be performed in chant, dance and the art of storytelling. Free. 3pm. The Pa, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org FIFTH ANNUAL MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL - Thu. through Mon., Jan. 26 through 30.

An over four-day happening featuring DJs, ecstatic dance, yoga, workshops, satsang with Ram Dass and live entertainment by the likes of Chris Berry and Michael Kang (of String Cheese Incident and Panjea fame), Jah Levi and David Starfire. Weekend passes include three

TheGRID

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MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

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FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

(closed after 5pm)

NFL / Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - NFL / Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Clay Mortensen, 5-9pm / WED - Teri Garrison 5-8pm; free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

NYE Party w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo 9:45pm-1am; $10

NYE Party w/ Nectar Collector, DJ Sid, The Guilty Pleasures and Kit Kat Club Cabaret 9:30pm; $20

Wavetrain feat.

Mark Johnstone & Friends 10pm; no cover

Daneyl Alana & Damon Parillo 6-8pm; no cover

Bob Jones & The Drive, MOTHxp and Owaila 9pm; $20

NFL

COOL CAT CAFE

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

NYE Party w/ Live DJ

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Billy & The Bad Dogs 10pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

NYE Party w/ John Grover Band 10pm; no cover

NFL

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Quiz Night 10pm; no cover

Lawaia & Johnny 10pm; no cover

NYE Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

MON – Junior / TUE - Live Music / WED Ryan & Chris Rego (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

NYE Party w/ Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - NFL / Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close

Indio & Avi 8:30pm; no cover (all ages!)

The Electric Surfers 8:30pm; no cover

NYE Party feat. live DJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Blues Spirit of Maui, 8:30pm / TUE - Kenny Roberts, 8:30pm (all ages!) / WED - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 8:30pm (all ages)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

ALE HOUSE

AMBROSIA

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

NFL / Thirsty Thursday

DJ Kollision + k.s.k.

10pm; no cover

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm; no cover

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

nights of camping at Camp Oluwalu. $200 if purchased by Jan. 25 / $225 at door (if available). Kama’aina discount offered. Visit mysticislandfestival.com for more information.

JORMA KAUKONEN AND CHRIS SMITHER - Fri., Jan. 27 - Jorma Kaukonen of Hot Tuna and Jefferson Airplane fame is joined by acoustic blues master Chris Smither. Tickets available online, by phone, and at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku) and Lava Java (Kihei) $28 / $35 / $45 Gold Circle. 6pm doors / 7pm show. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 896-4845; lazarbear.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY MASTERS FEAT. DENNIS KAMAKAHI AND STEPHEN INGLIS - Thu., Jan 26. Each month, cooler-than-cool Uncle George Kahumoku hosts this winning series by opening with his candid storytelling and musical prowess.

This month’s show features Dennis Kamakahi– who’s heralded as Hawaii’s greatest living songwriter–alongside Stephen Inglis. The featured pair celebrate the release of their new CD, “Waimaka Helelei.” $25 standard / $45 VIP (includes post-show talk story session with performers).

7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org DEREK WARFIELD & THE YOUNG WOLFE TONES - Fri., Jan. 27. Derek Warfield’s 40-year career boasts 13 bestselling albums, and The Young Wolfe Tones were nominated as Ireland’s Best Traditional Irish Folk Group in 2009. $20 advance / $25 day-of. 7pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org BEN VEREEN - Fri., Jan. 27. Broadway staractor-singer-dancer and Tony Award winner, Ben Vereen is internationally renowned for his

performance in Bob Fosse’s Pippin. $12 / $37 / $47. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SOJA IN CONCERT WITH ANUHEA AND THE GREEN - Sat., Jan. 28. Kicking off their 2012 North American tour promoting their latest effort “Strength to Survive,” Washington D.C.’s SOJA return to the isles. Joining them are Hawaii’s own Anuhea and The Green.

4:30pm gates / 5:30pm show. $40 advance / $50 day-of. A&B Amphitheater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SCREENING: HERITAGE FILM FESTIVAL PRESENTS “LYCHEE THIEVES” - Sun., Jan. 29. A cautionary tale about covetousness, “Lychee Thieves” reveals the humorous contentions which arise when locals fight over the bounty of a sweet lychee tree. $10. 3pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAUI POPS ORCHESTRA - Special guest pianist Hyperion Knight joins Maui’s own community orchestra for an evening of George Gershwin compositions. $10 / $25 / $35 / $45.

Half-off ticket prices for keiki 12-years-old and younger. 3:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAUI ONSTAGE PRESENTS “GREASE” Tickets available Mon., Jan. 2. Show runs Feb. 24 through Mar. 11. From the theater company that brought you “Cats” and “Chicago.” Directed by New York guest director/choreographer Brian Swasey. Dinner packages available with Cafe O’Lei (Wailuku) and Bistro Casanova (Kahului). $40 / $22 / $15. 7:30pm (Fri. & Sat.) / 3pm (Sun.). Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wai-

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

luku); 242-6969; mauionstage.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS HAWAII STATE LIBRARIES OBSERVE NEW YEAR HOLIDAY - Most public libraries will be closed Sat., Dec. 31 through Mon., Jan. 2. However, Makawao Public library will close Fri., Dec. 30 through Sun., Jan. 1. librarieshawaii.org HELP THE BOY SCOUTS BY RECYCLING YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE - South Kihei residents are encouraged to reduce the volume of green waste in our landfill by recycling their Christmas trees with the Kihei/Wailea Troop 22 Boy Scouts’ curbside collection program (Sat., Jan. 7). The trees will be recycled into fragrant chips and compost for use in landscaping and home gardens, and proceeds will help support their upcoming summertime trip to Alaska. Reservations for curbside pickup need be made by Jan. 6 by calling 280-4817 or 264-6237, and trees must be free of decorations including tinsel, wire and frocking. $10 suggested donation per tree.

FREE BOLLYWOOD, BHANGRA DANCE CLASSES START SOON - For the first time on Maui, Smita Khatri offers Bollywood (a modern dance form born out of the Bollywood film industry in India) and Bhangra (an energetic and traditional dance form originating in the state of Punjab in India) dance classes as a gift to the community. Men, women and teens are invited to attend. Thursdays, Jan. 5, 12, 19 & 26: 6:307:30pm. Ashtanga Yoga Maui Mysore Style Studio (127 Hana Hwy, upstairs, Paia). Saturdays, Jan. 7, 14 & 21 (no class Jan. 28): 10-11am.

Temple of Peace (575 Haiku Rd.). Tuesdays, Jan. 10, 17, 24 & 31: 7-8pm (private residence

in lower Kula; call 510-473-5143 or e-mail joyfulheartdancing@gmail.com for directions). joyfulheartdancing.com VOLUNTEER IN HALEAKALA CRATER Help Haleakala National Park care for native vegetation Sat. through Mon., Jan. 14-16, and stay free at Paliku Cabin. To register, send an e-mail to Friends of Haleakala National Park (sageblank@agol.com) or visit fhnp.org.

HAWAII HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS INVITED TO COMPETE IN NATIONAL POETRY RECITATION CONTEST - Honolulu Theatre for Youth (HTY) and the Hawaii State Foundation on Culture and the Arts invite high school students to compete in Poetry Out Loud: National Recitation Contest, presented in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts and the Poetry Foundation. Schools are invited to participate in classroom and schoolwide contests, advancing to a Hawaii state competition on March 18, 2012, in Honolulu. The Hawaii state champion will receive $200 and an all-expenses-paid trip to Washington, DC, to compete for a $20,000 prize in the National Finals on May 14-15. To get involved, high school teachers should contact HTY at 839-9885 ext.

704 or e-mail edadmin@htyweb.org ART MAUI 2012 PROSPECTUS NOW ONLINE - Since its inception in 1979, Art Maui has grown to become one of the most prestigious juried art exhibitions in the state. The 34th Art Maui Exhibition is scheduled to open Sun., Mar. 25 at the MACC’s Schaefer International Gallery, with jurying (Mar. 16 & 17) by Thomas Kolobe, one of Art Maui’s founders. Interested in submitting your work? Check out the 2012 prospectus by visiting artmaui.com. Revised items include the return of installation work (written proposals due Mar. 1) and the reinstated annual

DECEMBER 29, 2011 21

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22

DECEMBER 29, 2011

BLUES WITH THE HOUSE SHAKERS 7:30ËN º NO COVER

808.879.3133

1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G

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THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

12/29

12/30

12/31

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FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Renee Alonzo 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Jamie Gallo / WED - Guest Performer (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Live Music, 7pm

Live Music, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa 8-10pm

NYE w/ DJ Ron 8:30pm-12:30am

Benny Uyetake 6-8pm; no cover

MON - Benny Uyetake, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - NFL / TUE Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Salsa Night w/ Netto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

NYE Blowout w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Mantis 9pm-close

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Willie K, 7-9pm / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am

Yeshua, 6-8pm / Visibly Shaken, 8:30-10pm

NYE Extravaganza w/ The House Shakers & special guests

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm

MON - Big John, 10pm-12am / TUE & WED - TBA

mauimusicmecca presents guest DJ 10pm; no cover

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover

NYE Bash 10pm; $10

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

High School Senior Art Scholarship Awards Program (portfolios due Mar. 15). (PS: Further, the annual Art Maui Symposium–this year’s topic being “Art of the Juror”–is slated for Jan. 14. See Tickets on Sale for more information.)

FOODIE FREE COOKING CLASS: “VEGETARIAN SOLUTIONS FOR BETTER HEALTH” - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 5:30-6:30pm.

Down to Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 8772661; downtoearth.org

STAGE CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a tropical twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions and mind-boggling contortionists. Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kama’aina).

6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali); 667-4540; maui. hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua! Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packags available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 1-877-6884800; mauitheatre.com

EVENTS

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29 CELEBRATE KWANZAA WITH THE AFRICAN AMERICANS ON MAUI ASSOCIA-

TION - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free.

Iao Parkside Recreational Center (park at the Wailuku Community Center and follow the red, green and black balloons); 280-1394 FIRSTLIGHT ACADEMY SCREENINGS Last chance! This screening series wraps up this week. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast Pass (i.e. $10 ea.) Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469) (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com >>> “Anonymous” (PG 13; 129 min.) - In this flick, Shakespeare’s an illiterate murderer! But you’ve known that since your 6th grade English class. Starring Rhys Ifans, Vanessa Redgrave, David Thelwis and Joely Richardson. 2pm. >>> “Happy, Happy” (R; 88 min.) - A group of gospel-singing Norwegian men guide you through this tale of optimistic infidelity. In Norwegian with English subtitles. 5pm. >>> “Pariah” (R; 86 min.) - The venerable Spike Lee expands on Dee Rees’s award-winning short film by the same name. Adepero Oduye stars as Alike, a 17-year-old living in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood, who is “quietly but firmly embracing her identity as a lesbian” (Focus Features). 7:30pm.

SHERYL COOPER’S 3RD ANNUAL HOLIDAY MASTER DANCE CLASS - See This Week’s Picks for more. Three classes beginning at 6pm. $15 each class / $30 all three classes.

Proceeds benefit the Alice Cooper solid Rock Foundation. Omori Studio A, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); RSVP by calling 280-0047.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30 FIRSTLIGHT ACADEMY SCREENINGS Last chance! This screening series wraps up this week. $12 single ticket / $40 FirstLight’s four-film VIP Fast Pass (i.e. $10 ea.) Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm; AC/ DCember: Highway to Heal benefit, 9-11pm TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

>>> “Moneyball” (PG 13; 126 min.) - “Unquestionably, this is one of the great baseball movies; a film for lifelong fans of the sport and even for those who didn’t know the A’s stand for the Oakland Athletics,” says Barry Wurst II. Starring Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill and Philip Seymour Hoffman. 2pm. >>> “The Way” (NR; 115 min.) - Martin Sheen plays a doctor who travels to the Pyrenees mountain range to collect the remains of his son (played by Emilio Estevez–because, you know, ol’ Charlie’s been a bit busy lately) who died in a storm while trekking the Camino de Santiago. 5pm. >>> “Oka!” (NR; 106 min.) - An ethno-musicologist (played by Kris Marshall) travels to Africa to help Bayaka pygmies. In English and Bantu and French with English subtitles. 7:30pm.

BENEFIT FOR THE BIRDS - See This Week’s Picks for more. No cover. 6pm. Maui Brewing Company (Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy.); mauiforestbirds.org DANCE INTERNATIONAL - Live performance.

Free. 6:30pm. Maui Mall (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); mauimall.com

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31 NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTIES - Want to know where to toast to the year past and yet to come?

See page 19 for our NYE roundup.

NAWAI LANI - Live performance. Free. 1pm.

Maui Mall (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); mauimall.com

SUNDAY, JANUARY 1 NEW YEAR’S DAY CONCERT - Revel in tropical swing with a touch of cool jazz with The Henry Haleialoha Allen Combo. Free. 6:308pm. The Shops at Wailea (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 891-6770; theshopsatwailea.com / @ shopsatwailea on Twitter LOUISE LAMBERT BAND - See This Week’s Picks for more. 7-10pm. Three’s Bar & Grill

WED - Ibiza on Maui w/ DJ Peak 10pm; no cover

(1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

MONDAY, JANUARY 2 LADIES’ N’ ‘80S NIGHT - See This Week’s Picks for more. No cover. 10pm-close. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 8911011; ambrosiamaui.com

TUESDAY, JANUARY 3 45-TON TALK - See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 11am-12pm. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale Marine Sanctuary (726 S. Kihei Rd.); hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4 WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - Every week, enjoy live entertainment and shop specials. Free. 6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 891-6770; theshopsatwailea.com / @shopsatwailea on Twitter WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAYS - See This Week’s Picks for more. $10. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon., Tue. & Wed., Brian 3-5pm; Wed., Alika & Ron 6-8:30pm; Thu., Damien 3-5pm; Thu., Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri., Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri. & Sat., Kulwewa 6-8:30pm; Every Sun. & Sat., Tim 3-5pm; Sun., Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Tue., Alika & Edee 6-8:30pm; Tue., Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Fri., Henry Kapono 5-7pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900 HULA GRILL - Wed., Alika 1:30-3:30pm; Wed., Peter DeAquino 4-6pm; Every Tue. & Wed., Ernest Pua’a & Fri.ends 6:30-9pm; Thu.,

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FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

NYE Dance Party Blowout w/ DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Dan & Ann 7-10pm; no cover

The Hypnauticals 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 9:30pm-12:30am; no cover

WED - Clay Mortensen, 6-9pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Live Music 8-11pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

Ahumanu 4-6pm

NYE Extravaganza w/ Soul Congress

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Danyel Alana Power Trio 9pm-1am; $4

NYE Party w/ Eddie & The Promises 9pm-1am; $5

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like A Pirate Night

Soul Congress 9pm; no cover

Billy & The Bad Dogs 10pm; no cover

NYE Bash w/ Next Level Entertainment 10pm; no cover

Louise Lambert Band 7-10pm

WED - Blues Night w/ The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

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MON through WED- Karaoke

House of Reggae 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

Guest DJ 9:45-2am; $10

MON through WED Guest DJ, 9:45pm-2am; $10

NFL / Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON - NFL / TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

Alika 11am-1pm; Thu., Ernest Pua’a 1:303:30pm; Every Mon. & Thu., Armadillo 4-6pm; Thu., Kulwewa 6-9pm; Every Mon., Fri. & Sat., Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm; Every Fri. & Sat., 1810 4-6pm; Fri., Kawika, Roy & Ivan 6:309pm; Sat., Wili Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Every Sun. & Tue., Kawika Lum Ho 11am-1pm; Sun., Ron & Ikaika 1:30-3:30pm; Sun., Derick Sebastian Trio 6-9pm; Mon., Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30-9pm; Tue., Jarrett Roback 1:30-3:30pm; Tue., Damon & Danyel Alana 4-6pm; Every Mon., Wed. & Fri., Ernest Pua’a 11am-1pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri., DJ & Fri.ends, Every Sat., JD & Harry; Sun., Merv Oana (all sets 3-5pm). Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy.

Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495 LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu., Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri., Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts 5-8pm.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808 PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu., Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue., AhTim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm; Wed., JD on the Rocks 5-8pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 6613636 R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live jazz. 4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889 SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat., Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina 7-9pm.

5900 Lower Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili, 6691500 VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Fri., Glenn Kakagawa and Sarah Cravalho 5:308:30pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen 7pm; Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 CAPISCHE? - Every Fri. & Sat., Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224 HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu., Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm; Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm.

1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250 KAI WAIEA - Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf; Fri., Ryan Robinson; Sat., Kanoa; Mon., Tom Conway; Wed., Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm).

3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955 LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Netto & Barbara Peraza 8-11pm; Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2 6:30-9:30pm; Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm; Every Tue., Ric Scanlan 7-11pm; Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 8799944 MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat., Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue., Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., 875-6666 MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu., Willie K 7-9pm; Fri., Yeshua 6-8pm, Visibly Shaken, 8:3010pm; Sat., Joyce and Gord 5:30-7:30pm, The House Shakers 7:30-9:30pm; Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ “Mad Bagpiper” Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon., Joyce and Gord 6-8:3pm.

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover)

MON - Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith; Every Fri., Randall Rospond; Every Sat., Tom Conway; Every Sun., Viva La Rumba; Every Mon., Kanoa; Every Tue., Sebrina Barron; Every Wed., Mark Johnstone. (all sets 4-6pm.)

Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444 STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue., Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed., Randall Rospond 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 7-10pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779 THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun., Gina Martinelli Band 7pm. Every Wed., Blues Night w/ The House Shakers 7:30pm (All sets no cover). 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 8793133 TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu., Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri., Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat., Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun., The Crunch Pups; Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue., Mike and Mark; Every Wed., Steve Sargenti. (All sets 6-9pm.) 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860

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CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon., Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Teri Garrison 8pm; Every Tue., Clay Mortensen 5-9pm; Every Wed., Teri Garrison 5-8pm / free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis 8pm. (All sets

no cover.) 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001 CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY - Every Thu.Sun. & Tue., piano w/ Francois 6pm-close. Every Sun., guitar with Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului; 873-6555

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime. com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

DECEMBER 29, 2011 25

FILM

Best of the Wurst 2011

BY BARRY WURST II

his was actually a really good year for film, with many great documentaries and art movies and a few really terrific movies coming out of the Hollywood machine. But as always, this annual list is never about I’m Right, You’re Wrong, but will be an attempt to lead you to great films you may not have seen or need to give a second look.

T

1. The Tree of Life There’s never been anything like it, not even 2001: A Space Odyssey (the movie it’s often compared to and perhaps unfairly). The most polarizing, ongoing film argument of the year, it divides everyone–I showed it to my film history class weeks ago and, as expected, half the class hated it, while the other half was breathless in their praise of it. For those who haven’t seen it or need to give it a second look: don’t expect a typical movie, but more of a cinematic poem.

Yes, there’s a story and it’s a great one: Brad Pitt, in his best performance, is a father struggling to raise his defiant sons in 1950s

suburbia. We also witness the creation of the universe (in a way both secular and profoundly religious) and watch how all of life is flush with miracles, whether it’s a dinosaur learning to be compassionate, a child taking their first steps or a father apologizing to his son in the only way he knows how. Not a film about how mankind views God but a cinematic tapestry of how God sees us.

This is filmmaking at its most personal, so even if you don’t “get it” (I’ve seen it four times and am still discovering new things), you shouldn’t miss the opportunity to experience it. Sean Penn publicly admitted he doesn’t fully understand it or what he’s doing in the film; he’s entitled to his frustration and isn’t alone but I will say, without hesitation, that this is one of the greatest films ever made.

2. The Descendants The opening monologue: “My friends on the mainland think just because I live in Hawaii, I live in paradise. Like a permanent vacation– we’re all just out there drinking mai tais, shak-

ing our hips and catching waves. Are they nuts? How can they possibly think our families are less screwed up, our heart attacks and cancer less fatal, our grief less devastating? Hell, I haven’t been on a surfboard in 15 years.” So begins the year’s best, most unpredictable comedy, the best film ever made about modern day Hawaii.

3. Moneyball One of the greatest baseball films, with another top-notch Brad Pitt performance, though Jonah Hill is stunningly great and so is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Even non-sports fans will be swept away.

4. Melancholia This is writer/director Lars Von Trier’s best film, made with a clarity and focus lacking in his previous films. A visionary, strangely funny and powerful sci-fi drama of a young bride (Kirsten Dunst) suffering from depression during her wedding and learning to cope with the end of the world, both figuratively and literally.

5. Martha Marcy May Marlene Elizabeth Olsen stars as a cult member escapee whose inability to tell present day from her frightening memories makes her a brave but wounded victim. This one will haunt you for days and OIsen gives one of the year’s best performances.

6. Win Win One of those “little films” that you might have missed, only to finally catch up with it and realize what a perfect little comedy it is. Paul

2 1 for

Giamatti plays a lawyer and high school wrestling coach who finds he’s great at being one but not the other. Manages to provide an ending that is utterly perfect and honest without feeling contrived or false.

7. Rango Why is this the year’s best CG animated film and one of the year’s funniest comedies? Two words: mariachi owls. They open the film and the laughs don’t stop until the very end.

8. Of Gods and Men Criminally little seen, quietly powerful true life drama of monks deciding to stand their guard and remain in their monastery while their country is threatened by war.

9. Rise of the Planet of the Apes The humans may not have been all that interesting but this was the only summer movie that made an emotional connection AND knocked us out with the action and special effects. Caesar is a great character and the climax plays like an angrier Jumaniji.

10. Coriolanus Ralph Fiennes stars and directs this modern day, ultra-violent and surprising update of William Shakespeare’s play. Even with the iambic pentameter intact, this is the most accessible Shakespeare update in 15 years. Actionpacked and more like Black Hawk Down than Hamlet, forget the tights and accents and go in expecting something new. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1528f

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FILM

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY ANU YAGI

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:40. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:05, 9:40. MON-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:40.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - R - THUFRI (11:45, 3:15), 6:45, 10:15. SAT-SUN (11:45, 3:15), 6:45, 10:15. MON-WED (11:45, 3:15), 6:45, 10:15.

Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU-FRI (12:45, 3:45), 6:45, 9:45. SATSUN (12:45), 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. MON-WED (12:45,3:45), 6:45, 9:45.

We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU-FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:50.

MON-WED (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:05, 5:00). SAT-SUN (1:05), 5:00. MON-WED (1:05, 5:00).

The Adventures of Tintin (3D) - PG - THU (1:40, 2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (11:40, 2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:20. SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:00), 4:30, 7:00, 9:20. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:20.

Arthur Christmas (2D) - PG - THU-SUN (11:55, 2:20). MON-WED (2:20).

The Darkest Hour (2D) - PG 13 - THU-FRI (5:05). SAT-SUN 5:05. MON-WED (5:05).

The Darkest Hour (3D) - PG 13 - THU-SUN (12:35, 2:50), 7:25, 9:30. SAT-SUN (12:35, 2:50), 7:25, 9:30. MON-WED (2:50), 7:25, 9:30.

The Descendants - R - THU (1:20, 4:05), 6:45, 9:25. FRI (1:20, 4:05), 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:20), 4:05, 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (1:20,

NOW SHOWING THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN - PG - Animation - Directed by Steven Spielberg (his first-ever animated film), this flick follows a young journalist, Tintin, and his dog Snowy. Based on Les Aventures de Tintin, a comic series by Belgian artist Georges Remi (a.k.a. Herge), which have sold over 200 million copies in 50 languages. 107 min.

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED - PG - Animated - Squirrelkabobs!

The Chipmunks and Chimpettes get stranded on a deserted topical island–and soon find it isn’t deserted at all (big surprise). I wonder if the natives will Cook them? 87 min.

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS - PG - Animation - Turns out, Santa’s round-the-world-in-a-night secret is that he’s a tech junkie. But old school Grandsanta (you know, Santa’s dad) says he’s just a glorified mailman with technological luxury. Meanwhile, Santa’s oldest son Steve is eager to be the next Santa, urging current Santa’s burgeoning identity crisis. Amidst all this hubbub, Santa’s youngest (and most annoying) son, Arthur, saves the day– because somebody’s got to. And you thought your family got tense ‘round Christmastime. 97 min.

THE DARKEST HOUR - PG 13 - Thriller - Who cares about Vladimir Putin? Aliens are attacking Russia! 89 min.

THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy Whoa, whoa, whoa. An alrady award-winning movie filmed in Hawaii (and though we’ve already qualified it’s award-winning–no, Adam Sandler’s not in it), about Hawaii (seriously), written by a Hawaiian (it’s based on the critically acclimed debut

4:05), 6:45, 9:15.

Hugo (2D) - PG - THU-WED (1:10).

My Week with Marilyn - R - THU-FRI (12:05, 2:25, 4:55), 7:20, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:25), 4:55, 7:20, 9:45. MON-WED (2:25, 4:55), 7:20, 9:45.

New Year’s Eve - PG 13 - THU (3:55), 6:40, 9:15. FRI (3:55), 6:40, 9:10. SAT-SUN 3:55, 6:40, 9:10. MON-WED (3:55), 6:40, 9:10.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU (1:00, 4:00), 6:55, 7:30, 10:00. FRI (1:00, 4:00), 6:55, 7:30, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:00), 4:00, 6:55, 7:30, 9:35. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00), 6:55, 7:30, 9:35.

The Sitter - R - THU-FRI (3:45), 9:00. FRI (3:45), 9:00. SAT-SUN 3:45, 9:00. MON-WED (3:45), 9:00.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 PG 13 - THU-WED 6:25.

War Horse- PG - THU-FRI (11:30, 2:30, 3:20, 5:30), 8:30, 9:05. SAT-SUN (11:30, 2:30, 3:20), 5:30, 8:30, 9:05. MON-WED (2:30, 3:20, 5:30), 8:30, 9:05.

We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (12:30, 1:25, 4:15), 6:30, 7:05, 9:40. FRI (12:30, 1:25, 4:15), 6:30, 7:05, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:30, 1:25), 4:15, 6:30, 7:05, 9:40. MON-WED (1:25, 4:15), 6:30, 7:05, 9:40.

Young Adult - R - THU (12:15, 2:35, 4:50), 7:10, 9:35. FRI (12:15, 2:35, 4:50), 7:10, 9:25.

SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:35), 4:50, 7:10, 9:25. MONWED (2:35, 4:50), 7:10, 9:25.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Descendants - R - THU 11:10, 1:50, 4:45, 7:30, 10:05. FRI-WED 11:15, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:30.

novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings)? And it’s not Get A Job? And it stars George Clooney? What the hell more do you need to know before you go? (And how many more question marks will it take before our point is made???) 115 min.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO R - Thriller - Based on the hit novel by Swedish journalist Stieg Larsson, who died just before his books became famous. Trivia: the book’s original title in Swedish is “Män som hatar kvinnor,” which translates to “Men Who Hate Women.” 95 min.

HUGO - PG - Fantasy - Directed by some guy named Martin Scorsese, this already critically acclaimed film’s based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law. 127 min.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - PG 13 - Action - The real impossible mission lies in whether this movie can resurrect Tom Cruise from the Hollywood whack list. (No, Tom. You are not a “thetan” trapped in a “meat body.” You’re a goddamned movie star and we miss you. Well, kind of.) If you miss Maverick, too, blame L. Ron Hubbard. 132 min.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN - R - Drama - Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne) kept a journal while gophering on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl (a film which famously paired Sir Laurence Oliver and Marilyn Monroe), and during that time, he spent an idyllic week with Monroe (hence the title).

Clark went on to become a famous filmmaker, his journal was later published as a book, and his accounts of his week with Marilyn were made into this movie. Rough life, huh? 96 min.

NEW YEAR’S EVE - PG 13 - Romantic Comedy

Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU 11:00, 1:50, 4:50, 7:50, 10:30. FRI-MON 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30. TUE 1:00, 3:50, 7:00, 9:30. WED 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU 11:00, 1:45, 4:30, 7:20, 10:15. FRIWED 11:10, 2:00, 5:00, 7:45, 10:25.

War Horse - PG - THU-WED 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked PG - THU-WED 10:30, 11:40, 12:35, 1:4, 2:40, 3:50, 4:45, 6:00, 7:10, 8:00, 9:20, 10:10.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - R - THUWED 11:30, 12:30, 2:45, 3:45, 6:00, 7:00, 9:15, 10:15.

Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU-WED 10:20, 11:00, 1:15, 1:45, 2:40, 4:10, 4:45, 7:00, 7:10, 9:20, 10:00.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked - PG - THU-FRI (1:20, 4:10), 7:05, 9:30. SATSUN (1:20), 4:10, 7:05, 9:30. MON-WED (1:20, 4:10), 7:05, 9:30.

The Darkest Hour (2D) - PG 13 - THU-FRI (2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:40. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:30, 7:15, 9:40. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:40.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00. SATSUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 10:00. MON-WED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00.

- Look, I don’t mean to be so bah-humbug, but ensemble casts make it really hard to suspend disbelief. Add to that this flick’s a feel-good holiday hurl-fest, and it’s doubly doomed in our book.

Directed by Garry Marshall (who’s really exercising originality, given his other major credit is Valentine’s Day). Starring Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Robert De Niro, friend of the paper Zac Effron, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Alyssa Milano, Sienna Miller, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ryan Seacrest–can I please just stop here? 118 min.

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SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS - PG 13 - Action - Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) and Watson (Jude Law) are back for more ‘splosions. 129 min.

THE SITTER - R - Comedy - Jonah Hill takes up baby sitting after he’s canned from college. Hilarity presumably ensues. 81 min.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN: PART 1 - PG 13 - Fantasy - Vampires suck.

132 min.

WAR HORSE - PG 13 - Drama - Based on the 1982 children’s book by British author Michael Morpurgo, set during World War I. Directed by Steven Spielberg. 146 min.

WE BOUGHT A ZOO - PG - Family - Because the world isn’t ready for We Bought A Poo. Starring Matt Damon and Scarlet Johansson. 123 min.

YOUNG ADULT - R - Comedy (of sorts)/Drama - Spoiler alert: the moral of this Diablo Cody story is that no matter what poignant lessons life may proffer, that bitchy prom queen will never, ever change. In fact, she gets worse. Much worse. Also, writers are solipsistic drunks.

Agreed! 94 min. ■

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HOROSCOPE

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

People are naughty; by nature, most of us tend to at least occasionally enjoy breaking or bending the rules. It can be thrilling great fun, and very satisfying when those rules are nonsensical or purely arbitrary anyway. Don’t be too much of a stickler this week; that’s not really the best role for you, and we both know you’ll have much more fun flouting authority than sticking up for it. Stand aside or join in, whichever you’d enjoy more. Trying to be the enforcer is just a sad, tedious, and ultimately pointless task; skip it.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Setting boundaries with unreasonable people is no fun; perversely, those are the people who most require them. Therefore, you’ve got to be courageous and firm, regardless of the drama that may ensue, when illuminating and enforcing the lines you’ve drawn. This duty rests entirely on your shoulders; no one else is going to step in to make sure you’re respected and valued (and even if they did, it wouldn’t be worth nearly as much as you doing that for yourself). Let 2012 be the year where hardly anyone steps on your toes—starting right now.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Sometimes the story doesn’t play out in a way you find satisfying or pleasing. Loose ends do not necessarily get tied up, villains don’t get their comeuppances, and the good people don’t come out on top or get rewarded for their virtuous behavior. That’s life, which is a far cry from your average movie or novel. However, occasionally you have a chance to at least nudge the tale in the right direction, closer to the conclusion you’d have wished for it—this week is one of those times. In fact, 2012 is likely to be rife with such opportunities. Imagine how wonderfully rich and fulfilling your life will feel if you make a point of taking advantage of them.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

It’s funny how something you find tremendously enjoyable could be torturous to someone else. Whether it’s attending a cocktail party, watching a football game, or going to a fancy restaurant, one person’s bag is another’s drag. When you’re in a relationship, sometimes you have to just suck it up for the sake of the other person, but occasionally it’s nicer to simply accept the other’s differences and let them off the hook. That’s your best bet right now. Sure, it doesn’t fit the story you had in your head, but since that was never actually going to happen, realistically, why not make the best out of the situation at hand?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Who said you couldn’t take a break? You did. Most everyone else would actually like it if you chilled for a bit, because persisting as you have is only likely to make you jaded or burnt out, if it hasn’t already. Your dual nature means you’ll always see the good and bad in everything, but when your exhausted frustration with the negative aspects of your situation starts to outweigh your sincere appreciation for all the good things in your life, you know you’ve pushed yourself too far. Since keeping an optimistic, mostly happy outlook on life is the key to success this week (and in general), do what you’ve got to do to recharge yours—even if that means taking yourself out of the picture for a while.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Many people make the mistake of imagining grand, life-changing New Year’s resolutions, ones that would be nearly impossible to live up to. Although aspiring to evolve and change is laudable, I’d counsel you to choose something small but significant that would still have a powerful impact on your day-to-day life. It needn’t even be a tremendous challenge to achieve—just something that, for whatever reason, you’re not doing already.

Taking one huge leap from here to the finish line isn’t realistic.

Challenging yourself to complete one hundred baby steps that’ll get you there just as well—now, that’s more like it.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Being honestly authentic means acknowledging that you’re not fully evolved and enlightened yet, and yes, you’re sometimes downright shallow when it comes to your desires and opinions.

Denying what you’re actually feeling or thinking isn’t necessarily the answer, but consider keeping it to yourself for now, and allowing for (or inventing) the possibility that forthcoming, as-yet undiscovered information could end up altering or overwriting your current attitudes. That’s more likely right now than it’s been in the past, so be open-minded. Expanding your world and what (or who) you let into it would be a good thing; do your best to try to stop resisting it.

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VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

You’re a giver by nature, but sometimes it feels like you don’t necessarily have a lot to give. Regifting is your answer. You don’t necessarily need everything that you’ve received (or already had), so count yourself lucky and expend a little energy this week to figure out who might enjoy or need some of this stuff more. Obviously, those who’d be prickly about such a gesture aren’t the right people for your generosity—but the right people are out there. Even if you have to venture a little outside of your immediate social circle to find them, please try to do so.

The holidays may be over, but generosity can and should be a yearlong value, don’t you think?

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LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Excellence.

Turn up the sensitivity, Libra. Often, it’s the words behind the words that matter most. Figuring out where someone’s coming from is much more important than your immediate knee-jerk reaction to whatever they’ve said or done, no matter how compelling it is. Since that knowledge is sure to powerfully influence your response, arming yourself with it is of paramount importance right now. Failing to consider someone’s intentions will surely lead to you saying or doing something you’d later regret. Try to start this year on the right foot, instead of sticking your foot in your mouth, okay?

Provide the environment for a young person like 8 year old VIG athlete Alana Motley to expect excellence from herself, and she’ll rise to the occasion. Alana has chosen the route of Performance & Competition Training at Valley Isle Gymnastics. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Here’s my New Year’s gift to you; being close to you is what many people desperately (if secretly) want. They want to be close to anything exciting and dangerous—but might not have the courage to step up themselves or say anything about it. They will, however, be pretty thrilled if you’re adventurous enough to make that move (if also slightly frightened). So discard any traces of shyness or coyness you might still be clinging to and own your own exciting (and slightly scary) nature. You’ll be surprised at how swiftly your world expands once you do.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

When someone who trusts you asks you a question, you have an obligation to tell them the truth. However, much may rest on the way you word and present your honest perspective. There’s a way to do so without lying or omitting anything important, but also without dispensing an unnecessary load of hurt or embarrassment. Instead of impetuously blurting out the blunt, uncensored truth, please try to find the words that will help you deliver your message as kindly and respectfully as possible. Tact is overrated, most of the time—but this week it will serve you very well.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

Call Kevin

808.276.0873

Photo © Mark Moquin & WaveShotsMaui

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Respecting someone’s decision means abiding by it even if you strongly disagree with it. Undermining or contradicting it (secretly or otherwise) is about as disrespectful as you can get, so if you’re determined to go that route, do so openly rather than sneakily. You are allowed to speak out against someone’s decision while allowing them to make it; just shut up once your point’s been made—harping on it won’t accomplish anything.

Got it? Speak your piece, then either dig in your heels and stick to your guns, or shut up and let things play out. Anything else would just be pointless and annoying.

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