a Different Angle Magazine / 1
March 2008
The small magazine with a BIG mouth .
W e l co m e
t o our first edit ion!
Ph ot ogr a ph in g
y o u r ch i l d ? Th i n k a g a i n .
Issue 1
F r e e P a p e r b a ck Wit h t his m agazine!
Bu d g e t Air l in e s
Vi si t : w wbut w . adi f f ercheerful. en t an g l e. co. uk cheap not
March 2008
Fe a t ur in g:
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Break Tim e wit h 10 ‘int erest ing’ fact s, crossword, “ I n short ..” and “ don't you j ust hat e it when…”
a Different Angle Magazine / 2
Bu d g e t A irlin e s;
March 2008
T
here’s no doubt that ‘no thrills’ Chea p b ut not c heerful. airlines, such as Easyjet and Ryanair, have contributed to the increasing popularity of air travel. With prices starting from just a penny per leg, millions click and charge their way to exotic locations every year. I mean so what if the flight cost 1p without and £30 with taxes, Bristol beckons! After all, it’s much cheaper than flying British Midland. And so what if it sometimes costs in excess of £100 for a mere name change on a seat you’ve already paid for, it’s still cheaper than British Airways. Isn’t it? The answer is yes, if you don’t get caught out that is. But should paying less for your flight equal less common courtesies? A friend of mine once bought a so called 1p flight with Ryanair to Newquay, Cornwall. It wasn't a special occasion, he just fancied a day trip and whilst he ended up paying much more than 1 pence each way, it was still cheaper and quicker than going by car. However, for reasons I won’t bore you with and like hundreds every year, he was held up at security which resulted in him being THREE minutes late to his gate where he was met by a poe faced Barby who took one glance at his breathless, anxious demeanour and, with a shake of the head, told him “Sorry, flight’s closed,” she then proceeded to pull the chain of the cattle pen shut and went about her business. There was no discussion, that was it. Of course, like many before him, he was ready to plead his case had the terminator afforded him the time but he knew it would have been pointless since his experience is in no way unique and somewhat endemic in the budget airline community. One of the reasons for the notorious “If you’re late, we won’t wait” motto is the fact that, unlike us mere mortals who fill up their tanks and go, aeroplane captains are required to perform a headcount prior to departure and then a series of complex calculations which tell them how much fuel (and a bit) they need to get to their destination. Less fuel reduces the overall weight of the craft and in turn saves money. Once the captain has completed his arithmetic for the day he is seldom inclined to repeat the experience. But whilst I can understand this commercially oriented mentality, I cannot understand the existence of the over inflated egos of the staff who clearly subscribe to the unofficial understanding that if you buy a cheap ticket then you should get, ‘cheap service’. Manners cost nothing. And occasionally, a bit of compassion wouldn’t go amiss either. Even if there isn’t much you can do about it because “it’s company policy”, stop for a second to consider that for you it’s just another day at the office by for the person travelling it could be the event of a lifetime. If staff at EasyJet and Ryanair are unable to achieve a sense of job satisfaction in their present occupation then they should take this up with their managers or seek alternate employment not
take their frustration out on us travellers who, albeit for our selfish reasons, are paying their wages. That said I‘ve vowed not to do so again, I’d much rather “Th e y stay home if I can’t afford to sh ou ld a p ply travel but when I do, it will be with a reputable airline whom I t h e ir sk ills t o ca t t le know that for a few more pennies is going to feed me a pre- r a n ch in g or packaged meal with a welcome sa dism . ” sprinkling of patronisation. As for the job’s worth’s out there. If you, like many, are not lucky enough to say that you love your job and are feeling somewhat unfulfilled then perhaps you should take whatever skills you may possess and apply them to a profession where they would be much more appreciated, say, in the cattle ranching or sadism industries. But then, I wouldn't want to be presumptuous, perhaps you’d be kind enough to extend the travelling public the same courtesy. If you’ve been the victim of bad customer service, whether that be with a budget airline or anybody else, tell us about it.
Fing erp rint our Child ren? What amazes me about the ongoing saga of fingerprinting schoolchildren is the fact that so called experts are trying to allay the fears of sceptics by telling them that they aren’t actually creating databases since they don't store the image of the print but only the ‘data’ relating to the pupil’s attendance. If the system works on the basic premise of matching a fingerprint to a pupil’s record and then recording his or her attendance to it, I’d say that sounds pretty much like a database to me. Oh well, I guess cash-strapped schools don't have much else on which they could spend the estimated cost of £4,000.
Priory or no t to p riory? It seems months now that St Neots council has been agonizing over what to do with the ‘Rowley gift’ as well as what to do with the site that is the Priory Centre, as if the place had suddenly become a conspicuous boil. Now that the ‘professionals’, and council members have spoken, how about asking the people of St Neots what they would like? And no, not by cramming them all into the Priory Centre like sardines but via an online vote or maybe surveys in local shops.
Wr i t e: m ai l @ad i f f er en t an gl e. co. u k
a Different Angle Magazine / 3
March 2008
“ We lc o m e
t o t h e first
e d it io n o f a Diffe re nt Ang le ”
H
ello, I’m Tony. Some of you will know me as the author of Nimbus, an action packed thriller set in the Southwest, whilst others may know me as the editor of a local newsletter, and most will probably be thinking “who?” Well, that’s me; top left hand corner. So what’s a Different Angle about? The short answer is anyone and everything. We’ll be looking at a variety of stories, local and international, but (you've got it) from a different angle. Also, we’ll be featuring my definition of celebrities; everyday people who make a difference and whom you might find interesting. We’ll also have a dedicated ‘break time’ section with the popular 10 ‘interesting’ facts, crosswords and some amusing short stories to help you pass what free time you may have. (You’ll’ find the break time section at the back of the magazine). Occasionally, we’ll be sprinkling the pages with a few messages from our sponsors whom are very kindly parting with their cash so that we may help you part with yours! (and who said money doesn't make the world go round?) Most importantly, we’ll be talking about the things that affect all of us, good or bad, even if somebody else has already written a story about it, we’ll be looking at it from… I won’t say it again, I think you’ve got my point.
So, if you have a story, a comment (good or bad), a picture you think we could use or would like to nominate an interesting person for the features section then please get in touch.
W r i t e u s:
Finally, the competition (yes obligatory in most magazines) but it’s our FIRST EDITION we couldn't have you researching answers and filling in postcards, instead, some bright spark thought it would be ‘fitting’ to give away 10 signed FIRST EDITIONS of my book NIMBUS, complete with typos! Trust me, they’re worth it, after all, they’re FREE! For details of how to get your hands on a copy and to read a sneak preview, turn to page 5.
Wa nt to no mina te someone to fea ture in our loc a l ‘ c eleb rity’ sec tion.
With that, there’s nothing else for me to say other than we really want you to enjoy the magazine so your feedback is vital to ensure that we keep writing about the things that interest you the most. So if you get the chance, send us an email; contact details are at the foot of each page. Happy reading! Tony Marturano, Editor.
Vi si t : w w w . adi f f er en t an g l e. co. uk
If you ha ve a story to tell or w ould like us to w rite a b out.
Ha ve a p ic ture you think others mig ht find interesting . If you ha ve some feed b a c k (g oo d or b a d ) or Simp ly ha ve so mething to sa y.
V i si t u s: For Movie Review s. For the la test new s hea d lines a nd c rossw ord s online. For the e -version of this ma g a zine. Avera g e c irc ula tio n 15,000 a Different Angle is published by Marturano Enterprises. © Copyright 2008 Marturano Enterprises. All rights reserved.
a Different Angle Magazine / 4
March 2008
F
or most of us, having children is an instinct that we’re branded with at birth and become aware of shortly after emerging from our teens. For some it’s sooner, for others much later. Regardless of when we choose to start a family, the instinct is often the same; to love and protect those for whom we care the most. How many times have you crowed about your child’s latest achievement? How many times have you stopped and listened to somebody else do the same (and feign interest)? We can’t help it; if they win, we share it and if they lose, well it wasn’t worth winning anyway. But what if they win and we want a record? Maybe take a picture or hundred, shoot a video perhaps? We all do it, don't we? Well maybe we used to but not anymore. Things are definitely changing and not necessarily for the best.
T hink ing of photogr aphing your child’s latest spor t event? T hink again.
When 9/11 happened, the world was naturally horrified by the senseless loss of life that shocked America into introducing some of the most draconian security measures of our time. Naturally, these focused primarily on airports. I remember it well; shoes removed, laptops x rayed, questions asked, photos taken, fingerprints scanned and bodies frisked. And that was just when you were leaving the country! Fast forward a few years and not much has changed, except for the apathy of airport security personnel who now go about their business with the same enthusiasm of cattle farmers. Gone is the urgency to protect the land of the free from highly flammable baby milk and exploding bacon sandwiches, in its place is growing complacency for a routine which has now become a way of life. Whichever way you play it, the terrorists have won. If anything, the barbarians will go down in history for having changed travelling life as we knew it. Thankfully, we Brits didn’t succumb to the same knee jerk reactions. Well, we did for a while but it all became somewhat ‘inconvenient’ so we focused instead on a much more palpable threat, one that directly threatens our children. Sex offenders are a new breed of terrorist. I haven’t researched the figures but I’d say that they have always been among us although recently they appear to be spawning in far greater numbers. Or is it simply that we’re more aware of them these days thanks to the media? Let’s face it, not many days go by without yet another stomach churning incident that, to anybody who loves a child, is just as devastating as a hijacked plane or a bomb on a bus. Understandably, our government, not unlike the American Senate, wants to be seen as strong and decisive. Thus, albeit slowly, we appear to be adopting the same almost fanatical approach to our domestic problems. Picture the scene; it’s a grey, drizzly Sunday afternoon and you’ve dragged yourself out of bed to take your child to play junior league football. Some if not all of his or her friends are there with their parents. They too have been deprived of precious sleeping time so that they may proudly cheer on their young one as he (or she) valiantly kicks the football around a pitch. It’s probably the best game of the season, your child’s excited, you’re excited, and it’s one of those priceless moments that you want to keep for posterity. So, you pull out your digital camera and, just as your child is about to score a goal, the camera clicks but you capture a flesh coloured blur. You emerge from the viewfinder to discover that a complete stranger has a hand over your camera lens and is telling you to stop taking pictures, the reason; because they object to you taking photos of their child. Confused, you explain that “I’m taking pictures of my son not yours” whilst secretly thinking, “Who on earth would want to take pictures of your child anyway?” Well, sadly, there are some deviants out there who would. So what has been the reaction of some local authorities? Ban picture taking at school events. Some have gone as far as issuing consent forms to parents asking whether or not they agree to their child being photographed during their school career. So, how easy do you think this will be to administer at school events? “Ok children, all of you with the green forms play over here where the cameras are and all of your with the red forms play over there.” It’s madness! You may have no intention of taking pictures of somebody else’s son or daughter but nonetheless, the fledgling Beckhams of tomorrow may inadvertently fall foul of your lens and you might actually commit the crime of boring the pants off unsuspecting houseguests with pictures of your treasure’s junior league football match which, quite shockingly, will feature the rest of the football team! Is this not an extreme reaction to an already sad situation? We’re sending a clear signal to this new breed of terrorism that they no longer have to blow up buildings or crash planes to force us to completely overreact and relinquish not only our freedoms but those of our children. There’s no doubt that our world is changing; the weather, the taste of our food, our lifestyle. Let’s not give the terrorists a helping hand to change the ways in which we enjoy precious quality time with those that matter to us the most. TM. Wr i t e: m ai l @ad i f f er en t an gl e. co. u k
a Different Angle Magazine / 5
March 2008
Extract from Nimbus by Tony Marturano
T
he drumming of the rain replaced the thumping of the CD. Sky stretched, she felt invigorated. She rolled over, rubbing her face on Blake’s pillow where there were still traces of his aftershave. Clutching the blade in its hand, the presence crept up the stairs. It took in the room: the balcony doors, the furniture and the bare shoulders of the figure in the bed. It wanted this person. I t had yearned for a moment with her and that moment was now. Blake whistled to himself. He rinsed out the two champagne flutes and placed them on a tray with a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne, a moving in present from Matt Allen. He sliced a couple of Mango fruits and arranged them, decoratively, on a plate. As he did so, he found himself staring out of the kitchen window an d t hinking, o n ce ag ai n , ab o u t t he b eau t i f u l
w o m an
u p st ai r s.
What prompted Sky McPherson to turn around in that moment is unknown, but she did, and that was when a hand clamped over her mouth, silencing her scream. She struggled to free herself but froze when she felt the cold blade of a knife against her throat. The shadow loomed over her with all the deathly grace of the grim reaper. Sky’s eyes darted at the stairwell door, that had been left open, and then back at her attacker. The light from the security lamp outside spilled through the windows, silhouetting a slim figure with shoulder length hair, a woman. Sky held her breath as her heart raced like an express train. She struggled to comprehend what was happening to her. Who are you? What do you want? Suddenly, the blade eased its presence and then a hand yanked her, by the hair, out of the bed. She fell, striking her face on the hard parquet floor. And, before she could gather her senses, the presence had knelt on the floor beside her, pulled her head back and was prodding her throat with the blade once more. Their angle had changed and the light spilling in from the window highlighted one side of her aggressor’s face. Sky could just about distinguish the small jaw and the straggly brown hair. She had seen this profile before. She knew this person. Then, the voice hissed, “…” You can find out what happens next for free by visiting Great Paxton Village Store and flashing a copy of this magazine. First 10 people win a FREE signed paperback but it’s first come first served, so get your skates on! This excerpt w as published by kind permission of Glacyk Publishing. All rights reserved. Vi si t : w w w . adi f f er en t an g l e. co. uk
a Different Angle Magazine / 6
March 2008
Don’t you just hate it when…you are already in the middle of doing something and some clever clog (generally a parent or spouse) looks over your shoulder and suggests that you do that very thing? And that same person returns later whilst you are eating your lunch and says, “Ah, are you eating your lunch?” Meanwhile, somewhere in the neighbourhood, you can hear that dog again, the one that seems to bark at absolutely everything! Then you realise that because somebody didn’t do their job, you’re running late with yours so you rush to the car and, half way to your destination, realise, to your horror, that you forgot to pick up the directions so you slow down in a vain attempt to read non existent street names whilst some selfish *@! is driving up your backside, the sun is shining in your eyes and you are reminded, once again, that you need new sun glasses because somebody sat on your other ones. Finally, you manage to shake off the agent wannabe and arrive at your meeting, hot, flustered yet forced to smile for people you don’t think truly appreciate some of the things that you have been through to get there. So, the meeting is about to start and you, like a rabbit in headlights, realise that you have forgotten to bring crucial documentation and are forced to improvise. Mercifully, they declare a coffee break so you go to the toilet where, in an effort to resume control of the situation, you subconsciously look at yourself in the mirror and whish you hadn’t when you see that you are wearing half of your lunch on
your shirt and nobody bothered to tell you about it so now you try and dab it off with a wet paper towel but the paper mache only adds to the smorgasbord already on your chest. That’s when you decide that there is nothing else for it but to pull on your tight jacket and then spend an inordinate amount of time staring in the mir“It IS as bad ror, and trying to convince your- as you think self that you don’t look like a pen- and they ARE guin nor weirdo, all buttoned up out to get on a hot summer’s day. Eventuyou!” ally, after you’ve muttered one more profanity, you leave the toilet and return to the meeting, acting as casual as you can, even throwing in a line to your hosts that you’ve caught a chill whilst knowing that everybody else knows the real reason why, to you, the stiflingly warm room has suddenly become Antarctica. Mercifully, the meeting ends and you decide to celebrate by buying a new pair of sun glasses but find yourself incapable of making a decision due to the fact that there is a *@! lump of plastic on the bridge of your nose, complete with cardboard tag. Despondent, you make your way home, get stuck in traffic and are forced to read bumper stickers for entertainment, such as, “It IS as bad you think and they ARE out to get you” or “Inland Revenue; we’ve got what it takes to get what you’ve got.” and “Always remember you’re unique just like everybody else.” That’s when you look in your rear view mirror and swear for the hundredth time, “ W h a t t h e … * @ ! ”
In Short... MEMO to all staff A seminar on how to dress for casual day will be held at 4pm followed by a fashion show. Dilbert says: “Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?” “Someday we’ll look back on all this and plough into a parked car.” “An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.”
Company Motivation. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they created it by killing everybody who opposed them. Eagles may soar but weasels don’t get sucked into engines. The beatings will continue until morale improves. Teamwork means never having to take the blame.
The Difference between you and your boss: If you’re slow, he’s thorough. If you don’t do it, you’re lazy, if he doesn’t, he’s busy. If you make a mistake, you’re an idiot, if he does, he’s only human. If you’re off sick, you’re always sick, if he’s off sick, he must be really ill!
Wr i t e: m ai l @ad i f f er en t an gl e. co. u k
Relationship breakup cards. As the days go by, I think about how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me. When we were together you always said you’d die for me, now we’ve broken up it’s time you kept that promise. I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.
a Different Angle Magazine / 7
March 2008
10 ‘Interesting’ Facts 1.
I t is an act of treason t o place a post age st am p bearing t he Brit ish king or queen's im age upside-down. “ Oops! ”
2.
I n t he UK a pregnant wom an can legally relieve herself anywhere she want s, including in a policem an's helm et . “ Good t o know.”
3.
A m ale doct or in Bahrain can only exam ine t he genit als of a wom an in t he reflect ion of a m irror. “ I guess t hat would set t le t he lawsuit s.”
4.
Hum ans are t he only species on eart h who have face t o face sex. “ No com m ent .”
5.
I f you lick a st am p you are consum ing 1/ 10 of a calorie. “ I f only I ’d learned t hat sooner! ”
6.
There are no words in t he English language t hat rhym e wit h purple and orange.
7.
Generally, wom en hear bet t er t han m en! “ I s t hat a fact?”
8.
Slot hs m ove so slow, algae grows on t hem . “ I can hear it already...what did you say I have growing on m e?”
9.
I t is physically im possible to lick your own elbow. “ You j ust had t o t ry, didn't you?”
10. “ And now will y’all st and and be recognised,” said Gib Lewis—Texas Speaker of The House t o a group of people in wheelchairs. “ Trust an Am erican! ”
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1 Florida City 2 Regions 3 Literary composition 4 Soft cheese 5 Large farm 6 Abdominal muscles 7 Wading Bird 8 British Singer 9 Brood 15 Deplete 19 Con 21 Root for 23 More elevated 24 Tatty 25 Part of brand 26 Seaweed substance 27 Catnap 28 Strip 30 Iraq's neighbour 32 Respiratory disease
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Vi si t : w w w . adi f f er en t an g l e. co. uk
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