PROVERBS CHAPTER 5
I.
Outline: I. Wisdom Concerning Marriage: 5:1-23 A. The Seductress: 5:1-6 B. The Price Of Unfaithfulness: 5:7-14 C. Faithfulness, The Better Path: 5:15-23
“The chapter first uncovers the corruption under the surface-charm of the seductress (1-6), then warns of the price of infidelity (7-14), and finally enlarges on the lasting delight of a faithful marriage, over against its pathetic alternative (15-23)” (Kidner p. 69). “chapter five portrays against the immediate pleasure of sin its long-range consequences. If a person is wise, he sees this long-range view” (Bible Knowledge Comm. p. 914). “The Bible does not hide from or obscure the power of the temptation to illicit sex. In language that is refreshingly clear and direct without itself indulging in titillation, the text warns the reader…..If the church is to do its duty, it must be no less clear in its teachings. To assume that nice, Christian young (and not so young) people do not struggle in these areas or to speak only in whispers and innuendo on the grounds that they are inappropriate for the Christian pulpit is no less than gross neglect of duty on the church’s part. Whether one is dealing with the ritual prostitution of a fertility cult, the ordinary prostitute on the street (or in a magazine), or the simple lure of extramarital sex, the temptations and dangers are the same” (Garrett p. 90).
II. Commentary:
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5:1-2 The truthful lips of a young man is a great protection against the smooth talking adulteress (5:3). “for a person whose speech is true will not get very far with a specious talker” (Kidner p. 69). Lips that keep knowledge are lips which preserve the instruction of wise parents. A mouth that refuses to say anything other than that which is in harmony with the will of God. Lips that preserve knowledge also quote Scripture, and remind others of God’s will. 5:3 “Her deceptive, seductive words are persuasive, sweet like honey, the sweetest substance in ancient Israel, and smoother than olive oil, the smoothest substance in ancient Israel” (Bible Knowledge Comm. p. 914). This verse should remind all of us that many people in this life will try to flatter us, tell us what we would selfishly like to believe about ourselves or the future (Romans 16:17-18; 2 Tim. 4:3-4). “The verse does not deny that the other woman is indeed tempting, but the temptation is not all sexual. The honey lips and smooth mouth of the other woman refer more to her flattery than her sexual availability. The man is drawn to her because she inflates his ego with hollow praise in ways his own wife will not (and should not)” (Garrett p. 91). Or, in other words, to be a prostitute or an adulteress/adulterer, one must also be a good liar, and able to fate one’s affection for another person. For a sample of such flattery see Proverbs 7:15. 5:4 “in the end”-there is always an end (23:18), an “afterwards”—and Proverbs does not allow us to forget it. We must not judge things by how they feel at first, rather, we must look at the final stages. “wormwood”-is a plant which is extremely bitter. Points To Note: 1. All such illicit sexual encounters will end in misery, regrets, pain, disenchantment and disillusionment. The world tries to paint such experiences as bringing pleasurable memories, but such is a lie. 2. “its bad aftertaste to the conscience” (Kidner p. 69). Compare with Ecc. 7:26. 5:4 “Sharp as a two-edged sword”-a sword of extreme sharpness, “Her end is as sharp as the sharpest sword” (Pulpit Comm. p. 108). Beware, such a relationship will only result in a tremendous amount of deep mental and emotional pain. Hence we must reject as false the idea that one can have an affair without any emotional strings from being attached.
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5:5 But more than just disillusionment will be found in such a relationship. “Death and the grave mark the road she travels…it is possible she is the kind who will transmit some disease which will induce her partner’s premature death” (Alden p. 50). The text may also mean that once a man starts to associate with such a woman, that it will be very hard to get him to come back to the right path. The Bible doesn’t believe that someone can just have a “casual affair” and yet remain unchanged or unaffected. 5:6 “She does not ponder….she does not know it”-Here is the terrible state of heart or mind which is found inside such a person. She never ponders or thinks about what she is doing, she has completely forgotten or lost touch with any sort of moral code. She is as deceived as her victims (2 Timothy 3:13). “Her course is one of persistent, willful, headstrong, blind folly and wickedness” (P.P. Comm. p. 108). “The general sense is that her ways are shifty and slippery, in order to keep serious thought at bay” (Kidner p. 69). I like this last comment, for many people deliberately live shallow and superficial lives, or keep themselves constantly busy in surface matters, so that they never have time to think about serious things, eternal things, etc….This is the type of person who will immediately cut you off, change the subject, or walk out of the room when the conversation turns to spiritual and eternal matters. “her ways are undirected, irresponsible” (Jerus). Point To Note: In the KJV, the above verse refers to the victim of the prostitute. The translators tell us that the subject of verse 6 could be “she” or “you”. 5:7-8 Too often people play and toy with temptation, but God says, “Keep your way far from her”. “Keep clear (Mof): the New Testament echoes this practical, if seemingly unheroic (in the eyes of worldly people), advice (2 Timothy 2:22)” (Kidner p. 70). “To put ourselves in the place of sin, then to ask God to deliver us from temptation is presumptuous as well as foolish” (Alden p. 50). Temptation isn’t something that we can flirt with and yet remain strong. God says, “Don’t even go near her house”. Point To Note: People infected by the spirit of the world (Eph. 2:1ff) often complain that the Church of Christ preaches too much about sin, temptation and just takes the Word of God too seriously. But I find a complete different attitude in Scripture. “The pure Joseph did not even want to be around the seductive Potiphar’s wife 3
(Genesis 39:10)” (Hunt p. 60). If we are godly, then we will stay away from sin and temptation as far as we can (1 Cor. 6:14; Romans 13:14; 1 Thess. 5:21-22). And we won’t be offended by lessons which warn God’s people concerning the deceitfulness and consequences of yielding to particular temptations. In every generation some people have naively thought that since they aren’t a “bad person” that they are somehow immune to certain temptations. The famous last words from such people are, “it won’t happen to me”, “maybe other people’s minds are in the gutter, but not mine”.
5:9 “give your vigor to others”-this could refer to losing one’s strength, health, or self-respect. Loose living will cause you to squander the resources that God has given you. One day such a man or woman will find that they have been exploited by their chosen circle. “Vigor”-“Honor” (KJV). “Fornication is seldom a one-time matter (unless one repents). Usually (like with alcohol) one gets involved for ‘years’; and his good name (honor) is sacrificed” (Hunt p. 60). The word “vigor” can also describe the grace and freshness of youth. Hence, immorality will take from you the best and most vigorous, and hence the most useful and valuable years of your life. “your years to the cruel one”-This may refer to the husband of the harlot, who deals mercilessly with his wife’s lover. It could refer to the harlot herself, who is cruel, who has no love for the youth, and would see him perish without pity. “your years to one who has no pity” (Jerus). There is much that is “cruel” about immorality, i.e. what such an affair does to the guilty party, his mate, his family, etc…The person who thinks that the harlot really understands him, the man who leaves wife and children for a younger woman, is in for a rude awakening! He will find that if such a person had no pity upon his former wife and children, that such a person won’t have any pity upon him either! One writer suggests that the “cruel one” might also be a blackmailer. 5:10 “your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien”-“your hard-won gains pass to another man’s family” (NEB). Compare with 6:26 and Luke 15:13,30. “Accumulated wealth will be sacrificed too by the man who falls prey to lust. This might refer to the cost of sin, or might suggest the actual expenses of adultery. First one must pay the harlot….If she is a married woman it might also mean paying off her husband, and if she happens to get pregnant, one might also be obligated to pay child support” (Alden p. 51). In addition, in our society such affairs often lead to divorce, which means that you are going to lose a lot of money! 5:11 “groan at your latter end”-the mental anguish that comes when one realizes the children they have isolated, the friends, family members and respect 4
they have lost, the energy, time, youth and money they have squandered by yielding to such a temptation. “your flesh and your body are consumed”-This could include a body riddled with venereal diseases, or simply paying the price of what is typically involved in such a lifestyle, i.e. smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc.. Compare with Romans 1:27. 5:12 “How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof!” Points To Note: 1. We may never hear the sinner say this publicly, but privately, when alone, even the most obstinate sinner, even the person who never repents is probably thinking such things. 2. Here we find why people don’t do the right thing, they hated, spurned, ridiculed the right way. Often we want to downplay the rebellion of the sinner, by saying, “They are simply ignorant”. But many sinners are far from ignorant, this is a picture of a Jewish man who had good parents, but rejected such teaching. People rebel against God, because they “hate” what God stands for, they resent God’s rules and His moral standards, they mock the wisdom of His laws. As someone said, many non-Christians would kill God, if they could. 3. “It is too late, however, for regrets. He can only utter a long litany of ‘if onlys’: if only I had listened to my father; if only I hadn’t gone my own way..” (Alden p. 51). 4. “A man suffering his last would have learned, but it would be too late to profit him. His father would probably be dead and gone by the time the prodigal wakened up to reality with a disease-ridden and ruined body, but his father’s words would return to his mind with greater meaning. As he looks back, he sees that he actually ‘hated’ and ‘despised’ his father’s instruction” (Hunt p. 60). God doesn’t allow us to live in a fantasy world. So many rebellious teenagers and adults attempt to justify their rebellion by simply saying that they don’t see eye to eye with the godly instruction given by their parents, that they simply see things differently, that the morality of their parents isn’t their morality, that truth is different for each generation, and so on. God disagrees! God labels such rebellion for what it is, a hatred for what is true and right, outright selfishness! Carefully note that the sinner isn’t able to completely remove every trace of godly teaching and instruction from their minds. Every parent should be greatly encouraged that the godly instruction that they plant in the hearts of their children can never be completely removed. Even the most hardened sinner still hears parental instruction ringing in their ears. 5
5:13 There had been other teachers (besides parents) in the past of this regretful man. “Alas, why did I spurn every precept, reject every warning, unheard, unheeded, every lesson I was taught?” (Knox). Note the opportunities that such a man had. He had heard the truth, he had heard sound advice from many sources. Point To Note: Note that God doesn’t blame the parents and neither does He blame the Israelite community for failing to reach this young man. But how often does the Church find itself the subject of ridicule or finger-pointing when it fails to keep a young person from falling away? “The ruined profligate admits he was not without teachers and advisers, but that he gave no heed to their warnings and reproofs” (P.P. Comm. p. 111). When people who fall away complain that nobody tried to help them, typically we aren’t hearing the whole story. What about all the lessons they heard in bible class, what about past parental instruction? What about all the sermons from the pulpit, all the invitations given, all the chances to be with other Christians, all chances to reach out for help? In the end, the sinner realizes that, “yes, many people tried to help me, but I simply rejected all such offers”. 5:14 “I was almost in utter ruin”-“I have all but come to utter ruin” (AAT); “In a short time I was in all manner of distress” (Sprl). Points To Note: 1. Where had all this happened, what type of person found himself destroyed by yielding to temptation? Someone that was surrounded by God’s people! Yet, even being around godly people had not restrained this young man. “Such was my shamelessness that there was scarcely any wickedness which I did not commit, unrestrained even by the presence of the congregation” (Hunt p. 60). 2. He also faces the loss of respect among God’s people. “Today, unfortunately, sexual offenders usually do not suffer embarrassment or disgrace. The church advises counseling sessions instead of any guilt-inducing discipline, thus encouraging rather than condemning immorality. Public confession and discipline are unfortunately almost unheard of” (Alden p. 51). 3. This sinner had also refused the godly influence by God’s people and such had had no effect on restraining him. He was able to go and worship and then go out and commit flagrant sins. 6
The Benefits Of Martial Faithfulness To many people being faithful to one person is viewed as boring or unromantic. The lifestyle that is often glorified, even in our so-called modern society, is the lifestyle of those who are sexually unfaithful. But as a further encouragement to moral purity, God presents before the young man a real picture of the romance, true passion, and genuine love that can be found marriage. 5:15-16 At times God is very practical. The sexual relationship in marriage is likened to a cistern or well. Sexual desires should be controlled and channeled in one’s marriage, and not wasted. Note, you have fresh water at home (5:15). Don’t buy into the lie that forbidden sex is better than sex in marriage! Or, that an affair is going to generate more passion than what you can find at home. Or, as Paul Newman said, “Why should I go out for hamburgers when I already have steak at home”? “A drink from another well really isn’t any sweeter than that from your own” (Alden p. 51). 5:16 The imagery here is someone who throws water from his well into the street, a foolish and wasteful activity. One interpretation of this passage is that it refers to the man who fathers illegitimate children all over town. Another is that, “The man should not take his love and desire to anyone else….The analogy implies that the husband and wife fill and refresh each other” (Garrett p. 93). Point To Note: There is a huge myth in our society that some people have such a tremendous sexual drive that having affairs or engaging in other forms of illicit sexual activity is beneficial to their marriages or their own personal well-being. Such is false! Immoral activity never improves a marriage. If you are having an affair, and even if your mate is completely unaware, the sexual pleasure in your marriage won’t increase, rather it will decrease. Saving yourself solely for your spouse doesn’t result in sexual frustration, physical harm to your body or missing out, rather, it will only lead to a wonderful and blessed relationship. Even scientific studies have shown that couples who are faithful to one another and who have been married for many years are the couples who are deriving the most benefit and pleasure from the sexual relationship. 5:18 “The command to “take pleasure” in your first wife implies negatively that a man should never have sexual relations with another woman (whether in 7
adultery or by divorce on contrived grounds) and positively that marriage should include sexual joy and fulfillment” (Garrett pp. 93-94). “It is highly important to see sexual delight in marriage as God-given; and history confirms that when marriage is viewed chiefly as a business arrangement, not only is God’s bounty misunderstood, but human passion seeks other outlets” (Kidner p. 71). Compare with Ecc. 9:9. The verse also stresses that God has already provided for you all the possibilities of love and enjoyment at home” (Hunt p. 63). Point To Note: But typically people seem to want to blame the supposed or real lack of passion in their marriages on their mate. But note, in this section, God never views the problem as being with the woman or man to whom you married. If your mate isn’t passionate, then you probably have done something which has resulted in that situation. 5:18 “Let”-note the language of freewill. “be blessed”-The idea probably involves making sure that you praise her. View her as a rich blessing in your life, treat her in accordance to what she is really worth! Instead of looking elsewhere, realize that you really have someone who loves and cares about you already at home! 5:19 The word “exhilarated”, can also mean to “go astray”, “be lost”, describe the effects of strong drink, hence could be rendered, “be lost in her love”, “be enraptured with her love”, “be intoxicated by her love”. So much for the idea that all the passion ends following the honeymoon! Can one remain deeply in love with the same woman or man the rest of your life, is such possible? Yes! If your attitude is right, you can always find the love of your mate to be completely captivating. “with her love be thou ever transported” (Sprl); “let her love ever ravish you” (Mof); “be it her bosom that steals away thy senses with the delight of a lover that loves still” (Knox). Point To Note: Note how much of the following is a choice. Let us hear no more about people who have fallen out of love and how they can’t fall back into love. Let us hear no more the immature excuse that certain men just cannot be happy or successful with only one woman for life. Or, that great men must be allowed to have their sexual affairs, because such is simply a part of the nature that makes them succeed in other areas of life. Love, even sexual love is a choice! And all the passion anyone needs, can be found right at home!
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5:20 “Why should you…be exhilarated with an adulteress”-That’s a good question! Why should anyone find captivating a person who is a liar, who has no moral scruples, who is willing to come between you and eternal life, you and your mate, you and your children, and you and your money? Such a person is disgusting! How could you ever fall in love with someone so unlovable? 5:21 In addition to all the other arguments, Solomon reminds his son and all sons that God sees all (15:3). All the consequences of such a union may not catch up to one in this life, but God will judge! (2 Cor. 5:10; Heb. 13:4; Revelation 21:8). Is any woman or man worth suffering an eternity in hell for? Was the illicit sex really that good? 5:22 Adultery typically involves many sins (including lying, deception, etc…) Such sins will come back to haunt the sinner, they will eventually catch up to him. “he will be held with the cords of his sin”-1. Sin ensnares and entraps (1:17-18). 2. It ties a person down, like ropes. The adulterer will find himself tied down by guilt, frustration, financial problems, poor health, etc….3. Though people like to talk about being “free” to sin as they wish, or that true freedom is found in doing whatever you want to do, sin actually takes away a lot of our freedoms (2 Peter 3:16ff; John 8:34). 5:23 Because he didn’t listen to godly instruction, he will die. Without repentance, one foolish choice only leads to another foolish choice. He will stagger to his ruin. “He shall die because he will not listen to the truth; he has let himself be led away into incredible folly” (Tay). Point to Note: This picture doesn’t end on a upbeat note. Often the world tries to “redeem” the life of the adulterer by pointing out his or her great accomplishments. Or, that one day they finally settle down and find their true love. But, in real life such doesn’t happen. The path of sin doesn’t lead to happiness.
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