Simp Alignment Chart
The Axes Explained Intensity Axis: How much of your headspace does a person take up when you’re simping?
1: Out of sight, out of mind. Oh, them? You don’t think about them at all. If you’re a 1, you’re probably also a liar. 5-6: The occasional thought bubble. You think about them semi-frequently. Maybe when you’re doing laundry, or homework, you let your head drift in the romantic astral plane. 10: Haven’t ever made back on your rent. They live in your head rent free, taking up your daydreams, your night dreams, and a lot of your headspace in general. You replay your times together and imbue probably too much meaning into trivial moments. You’re envisioning a meetcute, a charged moment, a honeymoon, the rest of your life together (no big deal).
Application Axis: Do you typically seek tangible results from your simping? How okay are you with simping for fun and with no reciprocation?
1: Simping just for the feeling. Your simping is light and doesn’t necessarily expect results. You enjoy the feeling of simping more than you want your simping to go somewhere tangible. You prefer the fantasy over a potential reality. 5-6: The moderate. You’re down to simp, but only because you think there’s a chance it’s going to go somewhere. You might feel disappointed if your simping is not reciprocated. 10: In it to win it. You simp because you’re there to seal the deal. If you simp, it’s because you want and can see a tangible relationship. Keep in mind that while 5 might intuitively feel like the average, 5.5 is actually the average because the scale is from 1-10. So 1-5 is below average, and 6-10 is above average.
The Simp Alignment Chart 10
Quadrant II: Earth Simp
y = Application
6 5 Quadrant III: Shadow Simp
x = Intensity
5 6
Quadrant I: Sun Simp
Quadrant IV: Moon Simp
10
Your Simp Alignment Explained
Earth Simp You’re a pragmatic simp. You don’t see the point in wasting your time simping for someone if it isn’t reciprocated. You don’t tend to simp intensely, but when you do, you make sure it’s worth your time.
Shadow Simp Why bother with someone else? You want to focus on your own wellbeing, and don’t have the time or energy to spend elsewhere. Are you even a real simp?
Sun Simp You do as you say. You like to make your imaginations a reality, and you’re not afraid to let people know that you’re interested in taking the next step. You value deep and meaningful connections with people, and you put a lot into your romantic relationships and interests.
Moon Simp You like to think about the possibilities, but some possibilities deserve to stay possibilities. You’re a daydreamer—it’s fun to think about what could be, and it doesn’t have to hurt if things don’t work out. You don’t necessarily need something to be reciprocated for it to be meaningful; you find value in the act of feeling intense feelings itself.
The creators of this alignment chart are now pursuing a joint PhD in Simpology. Follow their journeys here: Ezra Zhang (7, 3)
ig @whalakee Twitter @margomargoing margaretezrazhang.com
Eddie Cai (8, 4) Twitter @VisdevE
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