A Real Look at Realistic Optimism

By Content Strategy Consultant Millie Tidwell

I was sitting on the couch of our Airbnb in Sarasota when the text alert came, “SWA Flight #3350 on Dec. 27 from SRQ is canceled. Go to southwest.com to rebook.” My husband immediately said, “Well, maybe it’s a mistake.Let’s go to the airport in the morning and see.” Thanks to our Communication Teams, I’d kept tabs on the escalating situation via SWALife and email. I told him I didn’t think there was a mistake, and he snapped at me, “Why can’t you just be optimistic?!” I responded, “I am, but the reality is that Southwest can’t get us home for five days. The silver lining is that we have family that we can stay with or the means to rent a car to drive home. We have options.”

In this moment, my husband and I demonstrated the difference between pure and realistic optimism. Psychologist Sandra L. Schneider defined realistic optimism in 2001 as the “tendency to maintain a positive outlook within the constraints of the available measurable phenomena as situated in the physical and social world.” In non-academic terms, it’s the ability to acknowledge the elements of a situation, good or bad, while remaining optimistic about possible choices and actions. You don’t have to shun optimism to be a realist.

Why do we need both optimism and realism?

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old adage of the glass being half full or half empty to determine if someone skews toward being an optimist or pessimist. But perhaps there’s a third option: realist. While pure optimists and pure pessimists simply accept (or reject), realists tend to take action.

A realist looks at the glass and says, “Hey, there’s a glass with some liquid in it.” Where a pure optimist may be completely happy with the amount that’s in the glass, and a pure pessimist may be disappointed, pure realists don’t judge—they accept, observe, and question: “Is this the right amount for me right now?”; “Is this the right glass for me?” If it’s not, then they take action.

However, like most things, optimism and pessimism are on a spectrum, with realistic thinking in the middle. So you can have realistic pessimists and realistic optimists—the difference between the two is that realistic optimists have the ability to be hopeful that they can change things for the better. They believe they’ll succeed but understand that doing so will take work.

With December’s operational issues, many Employees took to the SWA Culture Facebook page to express their feelings. All the emotions were valid—this situation is one of the most challenging times in our 51-year history. We know what happened won’t be forgotten easily, and we acknowledge that we messed up. Various problem-solving efforts are still underway. We must also give Employees space to share their disappointment and optimism about how the Company can move forward and become stronger.

Successful Leadership requires optimism and realism. While we need Leaders to not sugarcoat problems when communicating with Employees, any harsh realities need to be balanced with inspiring perseverance about the organization’s future.

An example of this was from Bob’s New Year’s update where he said this of the December situation, “A new year is a time of beginning, too. There’s no way to tell everybody, or to ask you, to turn the page on this event, because it’s so significant, and we’re going to be working on healing with our Customers and each other for a long time. I would ask you to do one thing for me, though, if you would maybe turn the page emotionally or mentally. Don’t let this steal your joy. Don’t let this steal your optimism. Don’t let this steal your faith in the future. This is a great Company, and Southwest Airlines is a great Company, has been for 51 years because of our People.”

But it’s not only our Leaders’ responsibility to balance reality and optimism … it’s something every Southwest Employee should do. Really, it’s something we should do in every aspect of our lives. Why? Because it’s good for us.

According to an article on WebMD, realistic thinking helps us be present by focusing on reality and not hypotheticals. It’s also shown to improve overall wellbeing because realistic thinking allows you to create “reasonable expectations for yourself and those around you that will help you live a less stressful life… When you train yourself to rationalize and think critically about the situation, you’re more likely to expect reasonable outcomes. This will set you up for better thoughts and mental health in the future.”

Don’t be an Eeyore

Bob continued to drive home this optimism message during his Rally speech, “We all know people who are constantly negative and cynical—the Eeyores— they drain you of your energy and rob you of your joy. Don’t be that person. Don’t be an Eeyore. Don’t buy into negativity, pessimism, or cynicism—it’s not who we are, and it’s not what we stand for. You have a choice to tear down or build up. Choose positivity. Choose optimism. Choose joy.”

He then shared an example, “Let me show you what that looks like. On December 26, which was our worst day of the ops disruption, Bryan, an 18-month Ramp Supervisor in Phoenix, sent me this message”:

‘I just want you to know that in this difficult time that I am so happy to see everyone sticking together. We will bounce back and be even stronger. This moment is shaping us for our future. The light at the end of the tunnel will be here soon. This too shall pass.’

“What do you call that? It’s being realistic but optimistic. It’s choosing joy over cynicism. You have no idea how much that lifted me up. That’s the power of optimism. And this wasn’t one isolated note. I received hundreds of messages like this. That’s what choosing joy is. That’s who we are.”

Employees who practice realistic optimism

Have you ever met someone who oozed good vibes? Someone who made you feel better about who you are and where you’re going? Someone who left you in a better mental place than where they found you? Several Employees at Southwest embody this description, and some of you may know them from their posts on the SWA Culture Facebook page.

While working on this article, I connected with a few of them to learn more about who they are as People and Employees. I wanted to meet the People behind the social media personas. While I found four People with vastly different personalities and backgrounds, I also found four People with many similarities.

• Focus beyond themselves. Instead of being insulated, they actively focus their energies on other People or projects. They genuinely care about others and in making a difference.

• Curiosity. They’re curious about the world and believe learning is a lifelong journey. They’re interested in many things and aren’t afraid to question what they learn.

• Stay busy. Whether it’s running multiple businesses, traveling, volunteering, raising families, or continuing their education, these Employees stay busy beyond their jobs at Southwest.

• Learn from the past . They believe the difficult things they’ve been through keep perspective on what’s truly important.

• Strategic. They’re strategic about how they use and spread their positivity. They cater their actions to the audience and follow The Platinum Rule of “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”

Now that we know what these folks have in common, let’s meet them as individuals.

EJ Banks

LGB Ramp Agent

When EJ Banks walks into the ramp breakroom at our LGB Station, he greets everyone personally, asking how they’re doing. He’s the epitome of the saying, “Don’t let the energy of the room change you. Change the energy of the room.” And his vibe is pure positivity. EJ is often asked if he’s really as optimistic as he appears, and his response is always the same, “It’s not optimism, it’s simply treating everyone with respect and keeping things in perspective.”

Having run with a rough crowd and facing a near-death experience during his teenage years, EJ isn’t a stranger to the harsher realities of this world. “Life is a learning process,” EJ said. “I believe God puts us where we need to be. My goal was to play football in the NFL, but instead, I pushed wheelchairs for Worldwide Global at the LAX Station. There I made friends with LAX Provo Agent Dale Bailey, who became my mentor.”

Dale introduced EJ to Southwest and encouraged him to apply for an LAX Ramp position in 1995. Discouraged when he didn’t get the position, EJ continued to work for Worldwide. Dale encouraged him to try again in 1997 and in 2004. The third time was the charm! “I was excited to finally be a part of the Southwest Family. Next year will be my 20th year, and I’m so grateful for everything Southwest has given me. Was it always easy? No. But it’s all worth it. I’m blessed to work with so many People who are willing to go above and beyond. We can accomplish so much when we work together.”

Danny Martinez

HOU Flight Attendant

Danny grew up in the shadow of our HOU Station as his grandmother owned The Cockpit—a watering hole near Houston (Hobby) frequented throughout the years by many Southwest Employees, including Herb. Whenever Danny ran into him, Herb told him he should work for Southwest because he was always cheerful. “I would always thank him and say, ‘Maybe someday,’” Danny recalls. “Then I’d explain pursuing and becoming a professional hairstylist.”

Danny worked as a celebrity hairdresser with clients from Beyoncé to Hilary Duff for more than 20 years, including a stint as the lead hairdresser at The Palms in Las Vegas salon. But like many of his clients, Danny can’t be typecast. “For the last 22 years, I’ve owned four businesses—three bars and a hair salon.” Danny explained, “Splitting my time between New York City, where I live with my husband, and Houston, where my businesses are, kept me very busy. And life was great until it wasn’t.”

In 2022, Danny was flying home on Southwest from New York when he got this foreboding feeling that something was wrong. When he landed, he checked his messages and found out that his best friend of 34 years passed away from kidney cancer. He became overwhelmed, and the Southwest Flight Crew immediately comforted him. “After my best friend’s passing, I was depressed—living in a shell of nothing, that’s until I decided to follow Herb’s advice and join Southwest,” Danny said.

Danny began Inflight Training on his best friend’s birthday, and he’s never been happier. “Every day I’m so excited to fly. You never know why someone is taking a flight, and I’m so glad I can be part of their journey. I’m also closer to my best friend in heaven at 35,000 feet.”

Kathy Pride BWI Flight Attendant

Kathy Pride packed in a lot of living before joining Southwest in 2018. She married her college sweetheart in 1982, had four children, worked in the public health sector, retired from nursing, and attended seminary to focus on ministry leadership. Kathy’s desire to become a Flight Attendant started at a young age—ever since she was enamored by the glamourous KLM “stewardesses” during her first flight as a child in the 1960s. “They gave me my first set of wings, and I knew that someday I wanted to do what they did,” Kathy said.

And when Kathy sets her mind to accomplish something, she holds nothing back. “I believe in persistence; in setting a goal and going for it.” When she decided to start running, she wanted to run a marathon. She’s now run 120 full marathons all over the world. When she decided to write, she ended up writing several books. When asked to role-play during Inflight Training, she developed a character named Grace.

Grace took on a life of her own during the pandemic. “After I received my WARN notice in 2020, I noticed that many of my Cohearts were anxious and catastrophizing,” Kathy said. “I thought I’d been led to Southwest to help support my Customers, but COVID made me realize that I was here to help my Southwest Family.” For a past birthday, Kathy received a bobblehead of herself. She transferred the Grace character to the bobblehead and began videos called “Grace’s Gratitudes.” It was Kathy’s humorous way of encouraging People to see the positives in their lives. “I believe that your attitude goes in the direction of the corners of your mouth. I also believe that humor can defuse many difficult situations. So I live to make People laugh and smile.” But Kathy is also a realist. “You can’t sugarcoat everything. You have to acknowledge problems to regain control and make solid decisions.”

Marc Petruccelli Security Analyst

If you’ve ever wondered who’s behind the “GiveHugs BeKind DrinkWater” SWA Culture Facebook posts, meet Marc Petruccelli. Why “GiveHugs BeKind DrinkWater”? “It’s based on science,” Marc said. “I care about every single person at our Company. Work is called work because it’s not easy. Some research indicates giving hugs, being kind, and drinking water are extremely good for our bodies, our mental health, and our happiness. Plus, watching out for others improves my own wellbeing.”

Marc’s professional resume reads like an episode of “Law & Order.” He’s a former Sheriff’s Detective with 18 years of law enforcement experience, including 15 years as a hostage negotiator and four years as a major crimes unit detective: sex crimes, kidnappings, homicide investigations, child abuse investigations, and human trafficking investigations. After retiring from law enforcement in 2018, Marc worked briefly for Disney’s Security Team before finding his way to Southwest in 2019 via our Emerging Leader Development Program (ELDP). After working in various operational roles at our DAL and LBB Stations, Marc is currently part of Southwest’s Safety & Security Department. He keeps coming back to the safety of others.

Working on his third Master of Science degree, the first in Criminal Justice and the second in Unmanned Systems: Robotics & AI, this time Marc’s diving into the world of Human Security and Resilience. “I know from personal experience that the world can be a terrible place,” Marc said. “We all have challenges, and we must focus on the positive—what we do have. After all, life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.”

Through his years in public service, Marc learned the importance of active listening. “I want to be a positive voice for those who need it. I understand that People need to vent, and social media makes it so easy, but along with sharing what’s going wrong, as humans, we need stories to remind us what’s going right—just to make us smile.”

Again, these are just a few Employees who are taking a realistic optimistic view of life. But there are tens of thousands more out there. Thanks for all you do to continue making Southwest a stellar workplace and an airline that Customers love to fly.