LIVING WELLNESS
Alignment
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Purpose | Community Magazine
February 2025
T h e A r t o f P l e a s u r e
W E L C O
M E
Feature Article
FROM LEANNE
A few years ago, I realized something profound that gave me real pause - I wasn’t living; I was just existing
I had filled my life with an enormous amount of obligation and responsibility that kept me “ on ” almost constantly. Rest, enjoyment, and pleasure were relegated to moments of collapse when it was physically impossible for me to do anything more. I felt this was the only way to fill my longing for a deeper purpose, and the exhale I craved
The problem was that I viewed pleasure as a reward rather than an integral part of life. We are made as sensual beings for many reasons, among them the ability to enjoy our existence. This revelation started a long journey of uncovering why I felt unworthy of seeking pleasure outside of the bedroom
Contemporary Western culture still has a lot of stigma around pleasure, and views it mainly as the gateway to overindulgence, losing control, and forgetting our moral backbone in the process.
In the face of this programming, the challenge was to redefine what pleasure meant to me It involved much less accomplishment and began to include plenty of rest, as well as blank spaces on my calendar. I prioritized regular meals that were both delicious and nourishing. I planned unhurried time with loved ones, plenty of time alone, and regular time to be creative, for the joy of it.
I became unapologetic in my pursuit of pleasure My life was no longer a question of work OR pleasure but rather an integration of pleasure into my work. In other words, I stopped collapsing into pleasure as a cure and instead enlisted pleasure as an integral part of a well-lived life.
Pleasure is not just for sexual satisfaction We are sensual beings designed to “make love” in every aspect of our lives In this month’s issue, we ’ re taking a deep dive into what it means to embrace pleasure, and how sensuality is the gateway to a full and beautifully realized life.
Let’s explore how to fall in love with more.
I AM ENOUGH
Have you heard that before?
The real question is, have you felt it?
Maybe a vacation-version of enough has left a trace A fleeting moment in the warm ocean, slightly buzzed and genuinely relaxed.
That certainly feels like enough. I could stay in that fantasy for a good long time.
But where does that go when the buzz has worn off and the flight home is waiting? Poof.
It goes back to this unachievable ideal we etch into coffee mugs and on the cover of blank journals and a feeling we pine away for between moments of rest
Enough Enough
Just as I am.
Right where I stand. Sober as a stone. Standing in a hurricane Leaning into a cold wind
It has to work in these scenarios, too It has to be a transcending idea, come what may.
Enough. Enough.
Stay there Lean in Until it’s the most authentic and real thing you know
A W O R D O N . . .
LETTING GO
Everything up until now has been a distraction. We’ve whipped up ways, big and small, to create smoke screens and tiny dramas that cloud the mind and keep us engaged in the mundane.
It’s safe in the mundane. It’s safe inside other people’s dramas. It’s where we stroke our ego with faulty comparisons. It’s where we hide from the work of our own genius.
It’s a place that puts tiny slashes in the heart but never asks for full exposure. We’re too busy running fire drills, exhausted from juggling troubles that aren’t ours, so how can we expect to do different?
Long days and sore feet are not the real work The real work is sitting quietly and waiting Not following the compulsion to spring into action, not adjusting for someone else’s comfort
Try this: put a nail in the wall and hang up your cape. It’s the one you put on when your ego swells, and you ’ re called to save the day again.
I hung mine up a few years ago and then sat on the kitchen floor. A cacophony of things has hit the floor ever since. New things every day.
At first, I was terrified something rather large would come down on my head, but I’m still here, very much alive
It’s got a bit messy and crowded, but I was emboldened by what happened to my heart. What happened to my mind. Oh, sweet and glorious day of release. I could hear locks to my freedom clicking open as I emerged each morning.
Perhaps there is a to-do list still around here, but I’ve stopped looking for it. It’s startlingly quiet without it. The blessings come in that quiet space, and I carry those visions and assurances into the brightness of the day, where they are fully seen.
The heart is a wise devil, full of surprise. In the past, I’ve been afraid of what she wants to tell me - of the secrets she keeps that want to set me free.
But now she is like a warm bath. A place of rest. She rings a gentle bell at dawn, saying, “Come away. ” Leave that on the floor for now. There will be enough time to clean up, but for now, come away. Your deeper purpose is pressing and longs for your company today.
Y O U R S E N S E S A R E T H E G A T E W A Y T O F E E L I N G F U L L Y A L I V E
T h e A r t o f P l e a s u r e
We are designed to experience pleasure in every aspect of our lives. For centuries this term has been associated with sex. Now we are rediscovering just how important it is to engage all of our sensuality for a life lived well.
The Pleasure Stigma
In a world that often values productivity over personal fulfillment, the concept of pleasure is frequently misunderstood, stigmatized, and even vilified. When we think of pleasure, our minds tend to think of sexual pleasure, or other so-called “indulgences,” which lead to the downfall of our virtue and self-restraint. Historically, pleasure has been linked to impulses that must be controlled: the seductress tempting the virtuous, the lazy glutton ignoring duty, and the artist abandoning practicality for creativity. These narratives have shaped our collective psyche, fostering a belief that pleasure is at odds with responsibility and discipline. Phrases like “Too much of a good thing is bad for you ” or “No pain, no gain” subtly reinforce the notion that pleasure is a luxury, not a necessity These messages are particularly problematic when paired with stigmas that equate pleasureseeking with a lack of self-control, impulsiveness, or moral looseness, and they are especially damaging when it comes to sexuality In many cultures, sexual pleasure is shrouded in shame, particularly for women Terms like “loose” or “impulsive” carry a gendered weight, perpetuating the idea that seeking pleasure especially sexual pleasure is something to hide or feel guilty about
Wired for Pleasure
Consider, for a moment, that we have been wrong about this all along What if pleasure isn’t something to fear or suppress but a vital part of a well-rounded and fulfilling life?
The human body is a marvel of sensory design, equipped to experience pleasure in countless forms Our skin, for instance, is filled with nerve endings that respond to touch, temperature, and texture, creating sensations that range from warmth to chills - or painful warnings on either extreme Our taste buds can discern a world of flavors, while our ears and eyes process music and visual beauty that can move us to tears
Every sense is a gateway to pleasure, reminding us that our bodies are built to engage with the world in joyful, fulfilling ways.
Equally remarkable is the brain’s role in processing physical pleasure. When we experience something enjoyable, our brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter often called the “feel-good” chemical. This not only reinforces the pleasurable activity but also motivates us to seek out similar experiences in the future. The brain’s reward system is finely tuned to prioritize pleasure, reinforcing that joy is not an indulgence but a fundamental aspect of human life.
Pain, on the other hand, serves a different purpose. It’s a messaging system designed to alert us when something is wrong, and guide us back to well-being. While pain can feel overwhelming in the moment, it’s meant to be temporary a signal, not a state of being. When we address the source of pain, whether physical or emotional, we pave the way for healing and a return to pleasure. This underscores the idea that our bodies and minds are designed not for prolonged suffering but for thriving in joy and sensory fulfillment.
Pleasure Permission
Sexual pleasure often takes center stage in discussions about joy and fulfillment, but it is only one facet of our immense capacity to experience pleasure in all its forms. While undeniably significant, sexual pleasure can overshadow other avenues of joy because of its cultural prominence and association with intimacy and emotional connection. Part of this fixation stems from societal narratives that heavily emphasize sex as a measure of happiness or personal success, often leaving other sources of pleasure like creativity, play, or sensory enjoyment undervalued.
Sexual pleasure has historically been shrouded in both taboo and allure, making it a paradoxical focus of both repression and fascination By broadening our understanding of pleasure to encompass all aspects of life, from the simple delight of a fragrant flower to the joy of spontaneous laughter, we can tap into a more holistic and balanced experience of fulfillment
The true pleasure lies not in prioritizing one form over another but in embracing the full spectrum that life offers In her book, The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings and How to Let Go and Be Happy, Dr Stella Resnick delves into why we often resist pleasure and how we can reconnect with our natural ability to experience it even when societal norms, childhood experiences, and cultural taboos teach us to suppress or distrust pleasurable feelings
Dr Resnick explains that we are wired to seek pleasure as a natural part of life but deny ourselves in what she calls the Pleasure Barrier This unconscious resistance toward deep pleasure and joy can stem from cultural conditioning, childhood experiences, or personal traumas, that develop a psychological ceiling on how much pleasure individuals allow themselves to feel.
Resnick's theory suggests that overcoming the Pleasure Barrier involves reconditioning oneself to fully embrace positive emotions, rather than repressing them out of fear or ingrained limitations. The emphasis is on the importance of body awareness, breath-work, movement, and sensuality in expanding one's capacity for pleasure. By consciously working through these barriers, we can open ourselves up to more fulfilling and joyful experiences in life.
The Nine Core Pleasures
Dr. Resnick’s recommendations serve as both a wake-up call and a roadmap to reclaiming the joy that is our birthright. Through exploring the psychology and science of pleasure, Resnick offers practical tools to embrace a more joyful, sensual, and playful life. These tools are identified here in nine fundamental sources of pleasure that, when embraced, can elevate our lived experience both in and out of the bedroom.
Sensory Pleasure: Engaging our five senses touch, taste, sight, sound, and smell to fully experience the world around us.
Play and Humor: Reclaiming the joy of spontaneous play and the healing power of laughter.
Sensuality and Sexuality: Exploring physical and emotional intimacy without shame.
Emotional Intimacy: Building deep connections with others through vulnerability and trust
Love and Bonding: Cultivating meaningful relationships that provide support and a sense of belonging
Emotional Resilience: Finding joy in overcoming challenges and embracing personal growth
Meaning and Inspiration: Seeking purpose and moments that uplift the soul
Creativity: Tapping into the joy of self-expression through art, writing, music, or other outlets
Spirituality and Transcendence: Connecting with something larger than ourselves, whether through religion, meditation, or community involvement
This approach emphasizes that pleasure is not a one-dimensional experience reserved for rare moments Instead, it’s a multifaceted practice that can and should be integrated into daily life
Reclaiming Pleasure in Everyday Life
The good news? It’s never too late to break through the Pleasure Barrier and start experiencing life more fully.
One of the most effective ways to do this is through mindfulness. We can fully embrace the present moment and savor life’s pleasures by paying close attention to our bodies and sensations. Whether it's focusing on the taste and texture of a favorite meal, the warmth of the sun on our skin, or the soothing sounds of nature, these small moments of awareness can make a big difference.
Engaging the senses is another powerful way to reignite joy. Listening to music that moves us, indulging in a warm bath with fragrant oils, or taking in the beauty of a natural landscape can remind us that pleasure is always within reach
Deepening emotional connections is also an excellent way to invite more pleasure into our lives Strengthening relationships through meaningful conversations and shared vulnerability enhances our sense of connection and fulfillment
Creativity also plays a key role in joy, whether through painting, writing, gardening, or experimenting with a new recipe Cultivating a sense of playfulness infuses daily routines with joy, whether dancing in the kitchen, playing a game with friends, or simply allowing ourselves to laugh freely
Lastly, it is essential to connect with something larger than ourselves Whether through meditation, prayer, or contributing to a cause, finding a sense of purpose can be a profound source of inspiration and well-being
Elevating Our Lives Through Pleasure
Pleasure isn’t frivolous it’s fundamental. It touches every aspect of our lives, from the food we eat to the connections we build to the sense of purpose that drives us forward. It’s not enough to reserve pleasure for special occasions or confine it to certain areas of life. True fulfillment comes from embracing pleasure as a daily practice that engages all our senses and brings playfulness, intimacy, and meaning into our world.
Breaking through our judgement of pleasure and reframing these thoughts by recognizing that pleasure isn’t a luxury but rather essential for a balanced, healthy life, we can elevate our lived experience to a new level of joy and satisfaction both in and out of the bedroom
The next time you ’ re tempted to dismiss pleasure as indulgent or unnecessary, remember this: pleasure is not the enemy It’s the gateway to a more vibrant, connected, and fulfilling life
Filled with stories of people who have reclaimed pleasures they once denied themselves, complete with simple personal experiments, The Pleasure Zone gently guides you through the full spectrum of pleasures: body, mind, heart, and soul.
©1997 Stella Resnick, Ph.D. (P)16 9; 1998 HighBridge Company
We have the capacity for boundless pleasure, so why aren't we happier? Dr. Stella Resnick has discovered the root of unhappiness: pleasure resistance. In this heartfelt program, she offers simple, sensible tools to help us achieve what we want: healthy lives and fulfilling relationships.
Dr. Resnick explores the connection between happiness and pleasure, explains how we ' ve been trained to limit the pleasure we tolerate, offers keys to reaching our pleasure potential - by validating positive thoughts and becoming more sensuous.
Order on Amazon | Kindle | Audible
RESOURCE KIT
T h e S c i e n c e
Dopamine & Pleasure: Enjoying sensory-rich experiences releases dopamine, the brain’s "feel-good" neurotransmitter.
Nervous System Regulation: Calming touch, scent, and sound can help shift the body from fight-or-flight mode into a state of relaxation.
Neuroplasticity & Joy: Increasing sensory engagement with more positive input rewires the brain to notice and more easily appreciate positive experiences
T o u c h : C o m f o r t & C o n n e c t i o n
Wrap yourself in a soft blanket or wear fabrics that feel good on your skin.
Give yourself a hand or foot massage with scented lotion
Take a warm bath infused with Epsom salts or essential oils
Practice grounding by walking barefoot on grass, sand, or soil.
Cuddle with a pet or loved one to release oxytocin, the bonding hormone.
S i g h t : F i n d i n g B e a u t y
Surround yourself with colors and images that inspire calm and joy.
Watch a sunrise or sunset, paying attention to the shifting hues.
Bring nature into your home with fresh flowers or plants.
Declutter your space to create a visually soothing environment.
Engage in mindful observation notice small details in your surroundings.
Listen to uplifting or soothing music, depending on your emotional needs.
Use binaural beats or nature sounds for relaxation or focus.
Try humming or chanting to activate the vagus nerve and induce calm.
Pay attention to sounds in nature birds chirping, waves crashing, wind rustling.
Play an instrument or sing along to a favorite song for an instant mood boost.
Use essential oils like lavender for relaxation or citrus for energy.
Light a candle with a nostalgic scent that brings comfort.
Breathe in the aroma of freshly brewed coffee or herbal tea.
Open windows to let in fresh air and the natural scents of the outdoors.
Mindfully smell flowers, herbs, or spices, appreciating their unique fragrance.
Eat slowly, focusing on the flavors, textures, and sensations in each bite.
Try new foods and experiment with different spices to awaken your palate. Drink herbal tea mindfully, noticing the warmth and subtle flavors.
Enjoy a small piece of high-quality chocolate, letting it melt on your tongue.
Engage in a mindful eating practice by eliminating distractions during meals.
T h e M i d d l e
Midlife often gets a bad rap It’s painted as a time of decline, filled with diminishing energy and fading pleasures. It doesn’t have to be this way. Midlife is a beautiful opportunity to deepen your connection with pleasure, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually.
Pleasure in midlife combines fleeting moments with a more significant focus on tapping into a bottomless reservoir of joy, meaning, and connection. In your younger years, pleasure may have been impulsive or superficial, but as you age with insight, it allows you to experience pleasure with greater intention and mindfulness Pleasure benefits from wisdom and experience It comes from knowing your preferences and what truly fulfills you, as well as discovering how you like best to spend your time and energy
We do this most notably by shifting away from the pressure to achieve according to others’ expectations and leaning toward our definition of happiness. We begin to ask what we truly want from our efforts, and then, keep asking.
This mindset shift is the key to accessing greater pleasure. Instead of worrying about how you appear to others, you can focus on savoring the moment and what it represents. Whether it’s the taste of a great meal, the warmth of the sun on your skin, or the fun of laughing with a friend, being present allows you to fully experience and appreciate the small but meaningful blessings of life.
The senses play an essential role in this new focus. Your body, though it may feel different from when you were younger, is still an incredible source of pleasure. Emotional intimacy often deepens during this phase of life, and relationships can feel more authentic and meaningful. Spiritually, midlife can be a time of profound connection Many people explore practices like meditation, journaling, or volunteer work, which offer a sense of purpose and inner peace These experiences can bring a type of pleasure that transcends the physical and resonates deeper
Viewing pleasure as a priority in midlife is an act of self-care It’s not indulgent or frivolous it’s essential for your well-being. By consciously choosing pleasurable experiences in every aspect of your life, you become more vibrant, present, and compassionate for those around us.
In this way, midlife isn’t the end of pleasure it’s the beginning of experiencing it more fully, authentically, and meaningfully. With the wisdom and freedom that come with this stage of life, the best isn’t behind you. With your help in defining it, the best is yet to come.
S w e e t T r e a t
Indulge & Enjoy
These rich and indulgent truffles are naturally sweetened with dates, loaded with heart-healthy nuts, and coated in rich dark chocolate - both an aphrodisiac and mood booster. They’re a sweet treat that is both decadent and nourishing Enjoy!
Ingredients
Truffles
1 cup Medjool dates, pitted (about 10–12 dates)
1/2 cup almonds, walnuts, or hazelnuts (or a mix)
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of sea salt
Coating
1/2 cup dark chocolate (70% or higher), chopped
1 teaspoon coconut oil (optional, for smoother coating)
Optional Toppings
Finely chopped nuts, unsweetened shredded coconut, a dusting of cocoa powder, sea salt flakes
Instructions
Soak the dates in hot water for 5 minutes to soften
In a food processor, pulse the nuts until they form a coarse meal
Add the pitted & soaked dates, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, and sea salt Process until the mixture comes together into a sticky dough (If it’s too dry, add 1–2 teaspoons of water )
Roll 1 Tbsp of the mixture into a ball Repeat with the remaining dough for 10–12 truffles Place them on a parchment-lined plate or tray and refrigerate for 20 minutes
In a microwave-safe bowl or a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate with the coconut oil Stir until smooth and glossy
Using a fork or skewer, dip each chilled truffle into the melted chocolate, letting any excess drip off Place the coated truffles back on the parchmentlined tray
While the chocolate is still wet, sprinkle your desired toppings over the truffles
Allow the chocolate to set by refrigerating the truffles for another 15–20 minutes
Serve chilled or at room temperature and share with someone you LOVE
CULTIVATING A SEXY LIFE
A SEXY LIFE ISN’T JUST ABOUT SEX
IT’S ABOUT HOW WE ENGAGE WITH THE WORLD, OUR BODIES, AND OUR DESIRES THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
IT’S ABOUT RADIATING CONFIDENCE, SENSUALITY, AND PLAYFULNESS IN EVERYTHING WE DO GET INSPIRED TO BRING MORE PASSION, PLEASURE, AND PRESENCE INTO YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE.
L O V E L I F E
A genuinely sexy life starts with feeling deeply Savor the taste of your morning coffee, indulge in luxurious fabrics, and let the music move through you The more you tune into your body’s sensations, the more alive and magnetic you become
Flirtation isn’t just for romance it’s a way of interacting with the world Play with your words, laugh freely, and find joy in small moments Tease your partner, wink at yourself in the mirror, and let playfullness become a part of your everyday
Confidence is the ultimate turn-on Walk with purpose, hold eye contact, and embrace your unique beauty Wear clothes that make you feel delicious, not just presentable Confidence isn’t about perfection it’s about owning your presence
The way you move through the world shapes how you feel Dance in your kitchen, stretch with intention or take deep, slow breaths as you walk Moving sensually even in everyday tasks keeps you connected to your body’s pleasure
Your voice carries energy Speak slowly, deliberately, and with warmth Whether talking to a lover, a friend, or a stranger, let your words be laced with curiosity, kindness, and a hint of mystery
Transform everyday moments into acts of self-love Apply lotion like it’s a love letter to your body, light candles at dinner, even when eating alone, and choose sleepwear and linens that make you feel divine
True sensuality is about presence Look loved ones in the eyes, listen intently, and share moments of genuine intimacy not just physically, but emotionally Deep connection makes life richer and infinitely sexier
A sexy life is about embodying passion, confidence, and pleasure in everything you do It’s about making love to life every single moment So, go ahead, let yourself feel, indulge, and radiate that undeniable glow
Sometimes, your ability to experience pleasure is blocked by stress, trauma, or negative beliefs. Creating intentional rituals can help incorporate sensory pleasure into your routine. Consider these daily rituals for sensory stimulation that open up life to more fulfillment and joy.
Give yourself a few extra minutes in the morning to start slow.
Stretch or do light movement to awaken your body.
Start your day with an energizing scent like peppermint essential oil or fresh coffee.
Listen to uplifting music while getting ready.
Feel the sun on your skin or sit in direct, natural light through open shades and windows.
Nourish your body with fresh, flavorful food.
Step outside for fresh air and a moment of natural beauty
Gently stretch at your desk to energize and relax your body.
Massage your face, shoulders and legs for a relaxing and refreshing reset
Eat lunch without distraction from electronics
Reduce stress with deep breathing or a guided meditation
Dim the lights and light a candle to unwind the day
Take a warm bath or shower with extra attention to slowing down.
Put away electronics, read a book or listen to soothing sounds before bed.
Take deep breaths or do a short mediation to calm and soothe the mind
Drink a warm beverage or savor a bite of dark chocolate.
There once was a woman who thought she needed permission to breathe.
She would feel the urge to take big, gloriously deep mouthfuls of air. To hold it there while it stretched her lungs and then let it go, along with all that held her back.
But when the urge arrived, again and again, she always stopped. She held her breath instead and questioned. She looked around for someone to give her permission She wasn’t sure that air and breath and that sweet release was hers to enjoy.
No one had said so, and so who was she to think she could just take it?
What if there wasn’t enough? What if she squandered it?
What if, in taking, she would leave less for others?
But the holding was becoming too painful. Her extremities were turning deeper shades of blue, and there was an ache for oxygen in her burning lungs.
It grew so intense, that she stopped looking around one day and just did it. She took in all she could hold and then let it go and dared to do it again and then again and then gloriously again.
And with each breath, there was not less, but more And the air around her kept regenerating, and there wasn’t just enough for her, somehow, it was enough for everyone and everything.
And with all of that delicious breathing, the colors started to return to the world, and a tingle came back to her fingers and toes.
That’s when she knew that breathing was her birthright. It was the very thing that would bring her fully into the beauty and abundance of a life that contained more than enough.
Living Wellness Magazine in its entirety is Intellectual Property of Leanne Elliott and Leanne Elliott Communications No portion shall be reproduced, shared or duplicated without express, written permission and author credit Editor Christie A Tarman | Format & Proof Cooper R Elliott Copyright February Issue 2025