What Can a Parent Do to Help? Most important, love your child. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a). Dr. Ross Campbell in his book, How to Really Love Your Children, says children who are loved often do not feel loved. The four elements that show love to a child are eye contact, touch, focused attention, and discipline (p. 38). Communication Activity We are going to do a quick activity. Everyone find a partner. The person on the right can write down these numbers: 137, 359, 2098, 3412. Now for one minute, I want the person on the left to tell how you feel about going to the beach. At the same time, I want the person on the right to add the numbers. (Discuss how it felt.)
This is an activity designed for the Parent Orientation class.
Now I want the person on the left to tell how you feel about going to the mountains. The person on the right should listen, intently focused on the speaker for one minute. How did that feel? This is an example of nonverbal listening. Children read nonverbal communication better than verbal. If nonverbal and verbal do not agree, they will believe the nonverbal, but it will be confusing to them. Many parents try to hide their grief, tears, and anger from their children; but how can they be expected to be honest with their feelings if it is not modeled for them?
Verbal communication—“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Reflective listening—Reflective listening is one way of listening for the feelings. It helps the children to express and understand their own emotions. Beneath the anger is always another sentiment, usually fear or sadness. True healing begins when the child is able to understand and express the underlying feeling and believe that someone understands.
Parent Guide: Growing Seasons, Turning Point, P. O. Box 22127, Chattanooga, TN 37422-2127
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