Westport , CT November 2019 by City Lifestyle

NOVEMBER 2019

Westport-Lifestyle.com

THANKSGIVINGREADY KITCHEN RENOVATIONS

A TURKEY TROT THAT'S NOT

ONE HUNDRED COWS: FAMILY VOLUNTEERING IN AFRICA

BANKWELL GIVES BACK WELL

WHEN LOCAL KNOWLEDGE MEETS BUSINESS EXPERIENCE, YOU WIN.

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LIFESTYLE LETTER

NOVEMBER 2019 PUBLISHER

Marisa MacLean | marisa.maclean@lifestylepubs.com EDITORIAL SUPERVISOR

Robin Moyer Chung | robin.chung@lifestylepubs.com AD DESIGNER

Kaylee Mitchell

Thank you, Westport READERS FREQUENTLY ASK WHAT IS MY FAVORITE PART OF BEING THE PUBLISHER OF WESTPORT LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE. My answer is always the same: telling your stories and shining a spotlight on acts of good that happen all around us, right here in our hometown.

LAYOUT DESIGNER

Emily Stout CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Sophia Andersen, Robin Moyer Chung, Marisa MacLean CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Mindy Briar, JC Cherubini, Jaime Martorano, Tim Lenz, Robin Moyer Chung

Every day the wonderful community of Westport and Weston amazes me. You use innovation, ideas, and service to create impact on a local and sometimes global level. Every time we write, photograph, and edit a story, we're inspired and comforted that our neighbors are truly making a difference. Doing what you do enables us to fulfill our goal of delivering the message that we all have a voice and the power to effect change. This month’s issue is dedicated to being thankful. On behalf of the entire Westport Lifestyle team: Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

CORPORATE TEAM CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Steven Schowengerdt CHIEF SALES OFFICER Matthew Perry CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER DeLand Shore

Marisa MacLean, Publisher

ART DIRECTOR Sara Minor OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Janeane Thompson EDITORIAL MANAGER Nicolette Martin AD MANAGER Chad Jensen REGIONAL SALES DIRECTOR Eric Williams WEB APPLICATIONS Michael O’Connell

514 W 26TH ST., KANSAS CITY, MO

ON THE COVER Our holiday table setting feature. Turn to page 40 for the full article.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MINDY BRIAR 8

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

Westport-Lifestyle.com

Proverbs 3:5-6 Westport Lifestyle™ is published monthly by Lifestyle Publications LLC. It is distributed via the US Postal Service to some of the Westport areas’ most affluent neighborhoods. Articles and advertisements do not necessarily reflect Lifestyle Publications’ opinions. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent. Lifestyle Publications does not assume responsibility for statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. Information in Westport Lifestyle™ is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed.

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INSIDE THE ISSUE NOVEMBER 2019

FEATURES 22 Don't Call It a Turkey Trot... Pequot Runner's Club Thanksgiving Day Five Mile Run

28 Bankwell Gives Back Well From dogs to dancing, Bankwell gives back to its neighbors

34 Karen Berkemeyer Home for the Holidays Thankful for beautiful design

46 One Hundred Cows Our editor and her family

34 22

volunteer at the Kibera Slum with Crossing Thresholds

DEPARTMENTS 8

Lifestyle Letter

Good Times

Around Town

22 Healthy Lifestyle 34 Renovate & Refine 40 Trend Setter 46 Inspired By 52 Our Contributors 56 Lifestyle Calendar 58 Culinary Creations

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GOOD TIMES 1.

myTEAM Triumph Kiwanis Triathalon Helping people with disabilities feel included in the community via endurance racing, myTEAM Triumph participated in the Westport Kiwanis Triathlon on September 8th. Pioneer triathlete Captain Sami Leskin of Westport returned for her second triathlon, with 6 additional Captains (people with disabilities or unique abilities), supported by 40+ teammates. Come join us! MyTeamTriumph-CT.org.

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Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

Photo Credit: Tim Lenz

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GOOD TIMES

Westport Playhouse's Black and White Ball: A De-Lovely Evening Tony Award-winning Broadway star Kelli O’Hara, accompanied on piano by Sirius/XM® radio personality Seth Rudetsky, headlined Westport Country Playhouse’s 2019 Gala, “Black & White Ball: A De-Lovely Evening,” on Saturday evening, September 14. The gala performance was a one-of-a-kind event as the pair shared stories and songs from O’Hara’s life and career. (PHOTOS: SAMUEL STUART)

1. Gala headliners Seth Rudetsky and Kelli O’Hara. | 2. Westport Country Playhouse’s 2019 Leadership Award is presented to Ania Czekaj-Farber by Mark Lamos. | 3. Mark Lamos, Barbara Streicker, Kelli O’Hara and Michael Barker.

Westonstock 2019 The Weston Historical Society transported folks back to a time when young people of the ‘counterculture’ generation gathered for a historic happening of music, peace and love: Westonstock! A six-hour music festival featuring three bands, a '60s car show, and kids crafts and activities on Saturday, September 15 at the Coley Homestead. PHOTOS: JOHN CAROPRESO

1. Old School Revue and the Saugatuck Horns, a classic 60’s R&B band.

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AROUND TOWN Meet the legendary Don Juan as you’ve never seen him in this darkly comic take on a classic tale. Wherever he goes, the notorious seducer and antihero leaves behind a trail of broken hearts and society scandals, relying on his trusty sidekick, Sganarelle, to clean up his unruly messes. When an unearthly visitor arrives, Don Juan may finally be forced to confront his wicked ways. WestportPlayhouse.org Westport Playhouse November 5–23 at 8:00 p.m.

THE HEIDA INTERNATIONAL MUSIC COMPETITION AT MOCA WESTPORT From November 17-24, the legacy of Heida Hermanns continues as the 2019 piano competition brings the world’s most talented young musicians to Westport. Heida Hermanns was a pianist, teacher and philanthropist. She was born in Wiesbaden, Germany in 1906 and received her first piano lessons from her mother. At 15 she enrolled at the Berlin Hochschule fur Musik. She made her debut with the Berlin Philharmonic at age 18 and toured Europe as a recitalist and concerto soloist through the 1920s and early 1930s. WestportArtsCenter.org MoCA Westport November 17-24, 2019

DVCC HARVEST FEST Join the Domestic Violence Crisis Center to celebrate and support advocacy in our community with an evening of hors d’oeuvres, seasonal cocktails and live music. Fall festival attire. Proceeds from the evening support Domestic Violence Crisis Center’s preventive education, services and awareness initiatives in our community. DVCCCT.org Fairfield County Hunt Club Saturday, November 9, 7–11 p.m.

12TH ANNUAL STAND UP FOR HOMES WITH HOPE Enjoy an evening of Stand Up comedy with Pete Holmes – star of HBO show Crashing and podcast host of You Made It Weird on Saturday evening November 2, 2019.

DON JUAN BY MOLIÈRE

Westport-based organization dedicated to ending

DON JUAN by Molière

homelessness in Fairfield County. For tickets &

A world premiere translation and adaptation

information: hwhct.org

by Brendan Pelsue directed by David Kennedy 16

All event proceeds support Homes with Hope, a

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

CONTINUED >

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20TH ANNIVERSARY HORIZONS GFA FALL GALA Join Horizons at GFA for its 20th annual celebratory dinner to honor the achievements of its students and program. The dinner is a really fun and very popular event attended by both long-time supporters and new friends as well. The Patterson Club Friday, November 8 at 6:30 p.m. For more information please contact Jodi Gordon, 203-349-7137 or jgordon@gfacademy.org.

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announcements you’d like to see included in our Around Town section. Submissions are accepted via the Contact Us tab at Westport-Lifestyle.com.

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HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

Don't Call It a Turkey Trot... PEQUOT RUNNERS CLUB THANKSGIVING DAY FIVE MILE RUN

ARTICLE ROBIN MOYER CHUNG | PHOTOGRAPHY JC CHERUBINI

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

SINCE, OH, 1546 OR SO, SCOTTISH HIGHLANDERS

PLAYED

BAGPIPES

DURING WARTIME TO SCARE OFF ENEMIES. Interestingly, Trumbull Pipe Band* serenades the Pequot Runners Club (PRC) at the beginning of their annual Turkey Trot. No one knows exactly why they play at the starting line, but I imagine the racers run a bit faster to get away from the shrieking instruments. Last Thanksgiving, over 2,600 people of all ages gathered at the Southport Wakeman Boys & Girls Club to run five miles in the PRC’s Turkey Trot. Founder of PRC, Packer Wilbur, wants the race to be called “The Thanksgiving Day Five Mile Run” believing it sounds more dignified than “Turkey Trot.” Unfortunately, the name doesn’t trip off the tongue and runners like things to be fast and efficient. Also, watching folks sweat down the street in turkey suits compromises any extra dignity a longer title may bestow. CONTINUED >

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

(CON TI N U ED)

“I LIKE TO GO OUT AND SUFFER AND EARN MY MEAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.”

Dressed for a turkey run.

Running family-style.

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

It all started in 1977 when Packer and three friends began running every Saturday. Much fun was had, so Packer decided to spread the joy among other weekend athletes, slapping up posters in stores and persuading local papers to publish articles promoting a new running club. After a few weeks, the threesome had ballooned to over 40 eager, and purportedly fun, runner-types. PRC was off and running (get it??). But Packer wanted even more fun. He wanted a signature event, preferably in the fall when weather was cooler and hapless racers wouldn’t crawl to the finish line whining about heatstroke. Thus, the Turkey Trot was hatched, but not fully baked, in 1978. Problem being the number of racers (630) exceeded the club’s primitive scorekeeping. These were the late ’70’s and most people were too busy buying Andy Gibb beach towels and wondering what to do with Susan B. Anthony dollars to concern themselves with keeping accurate tabs on a five-miler. Packer recalls a proposed solution, “to dig a deep trench across the finish line and sort out the finishing order by a runner’s location in the pile.” Now, I’m no race expert but this solution seems brilliant in its simplicity as well as a crowd-pleaser for the onlookers. Ultimately, computers gifted PRC with a less interesting tracking method. As with all races, there are winners. Three lucky women and three lucky men go home with a t-shirt, modest cash prize, and crystal trophy. For the past two years, Wesport’s Henry Wynne has ripped through the finish line first. If you don’t know Henry, a quick Google search will show that you’ll never win a race as long as he’s running. Staples grad and professional runner who ran a 3:51 mile this year, Henry is going to the Olympic trials this summer with the hopes of claiming

a spot in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Why would an elite athlete choose to trot with ordinary turkeys on Thanksgiving morning? Henry explains, “I like to go out and

LUNC H

suffer and earn my meal like everyone else.”

BRUNC H 11 : 3 0

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Bankwell Gives Back Well

Bankwell donates to Filling in the Blanks to benefit the purchase of a new delivery truck.

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

ARTICLE ROBIN MOYER CHUNG

FROM DOGS TO DANCING, BANKWELL GIVES BACK TO ITS NEIGHBORS.

“SWEAR BY YOUR BANK, NOT AT IT” IS THE

Here’s the best part: THEY want to help YOU! You

TAGLINE FOR BANKWELL. This speaks to me on a

don’t have to be a customer, a potential customer,

number of levels, but mostly because it’s funny.

or even a friendly person. If you have a nonprofit

Headquartered in New Canaan, Bankwell is a community bank with eleven locations sprinkled

event or charity, contact them and convince them to donate time and/or money.

throughout Fairfield County. Like most banks, they

They focus on low- and middle-income business

invest in their neighborhoods, often sponsoring local

development. So if you want someone to build a

events. But they don’t pounce on causes just because

shelter for stray turtles or throw a fundraiser for

they’re hip or teeming with moneyed patrons, and

left-handed golfers, you may not be their target

their philanthropy goes way beyond tossing coin at

market. But if you want to, say, perform a 4-hour

a gala. If they go, they go all in.

rock concert to raise funds for local food banks,

Bankwell fosters a culture of social responsibility among their 150+ employees, encouraging them to

give them a shout. Here’s the process:

volunteer in the over 200 local non-profits and orga-

Whip up a page or two about your organization

nizations with which they’re involved. AVP/Marketing

or sponsorship opportunity. Make sure to include

Manager Lucy French sends out a monthly email

who you are, what you want to do or are doing, and

listing these opportunities, such as providing and

what you need to start/augment your project. Include

serving dinner to participants of Inspirica’s Early

information about your charity: its purpose, the reason

Childhood and Parenting Program.

you’re asking Bankwell, and any salient information

Lucy, with Bankwell EVP/Chief of Staff Laura Waitz,

about your organization or event.

are the gatekeepers of Bankwell’s largesse. When con-

Then swing by a location and drop off the informa-

sidering a proposal, they focus on three things: 1. the

tion, or log onto MyBankwell.com and send it through

organization’s view of social responsibility; 2. the long-

the “Contact Us” form. The good folks at Bankwell will

term relationship and scalability between Bankwell and

forward it to the Marketing Department.

the organization; 3. how Bankwell employees can volun-

In this department, Lucy will consider it. If it’s

teer or contribute. Goal #1 is to help their communities,

viable, she’ll bounce it to Laura. If they both like it

but bonus points if it redounds positively to their person-

they’ll schedule a meeting with you and, hopefully,

nel. According to Laura, “If you have a shared passion

magic will happen.

and sense of purpose you’ll be a better employee.”

And magic does happen - lots and lots of it. From

Laura and Lucy review hundreds of pitches each

hosting mindful meditation at a library to partnering

year from worthy recipients. Though finances are

with police in Darien and New Canaan to help stop

finite, pitching in and helping out is not. “We get asked

elder abuse fraud, Bankwell’s wand is as diverse as

all the time - we can’t give to every organization,”

it is generous. It was tough to select which ones to

Laura says, “so [volunteering] is a way to do it. And we

highlight, but including all of them would tax a typical

do give them a lot of swag as well.”

attention span. So here are three:

CONTINUED >

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

BANKWELL GIVES BACK WELL

(CON TI N U ED)

WILTON ROCKS FOR FOOD

to Tina, Bankwell “contributed signifi-

musician/rock enthusiast Andy Schlesinger,

cantly to the purchase and design of the

Wilton Rocks for Food is now a 60-musician

truck. We couldn’t do it without them.”

gig that has people “dancing and going

With the purchase of the new truck,

crazy” for four hours. Every penny raised

FITB was able to increase distribution

from the party, which has grown from

to 1,600 kids by the end of June 2019.

$26,000 in 2015 to an estimated $150,000 for

That’s roughly 103,000 bags to kids in 32

his December 1, 2019 jam, is poured into the

schools across Fairfield County.

CT Food Bank and Wilton Social Services.

tising, Bankwell volunteers help distribute

sponsorship. Not only did Bankwell sign

food, pack bags, participate in FITB holiday

on as a sponsor, they advised Andy on

backpack program and more. Tina says, “We

how to approach other companies, polish

are truly grateful to have a community part-

his pitch and understand the process.

ner like Bankwell, to stand with us against

Then they hooked him up with another

childhood hunger.”

like me, a nobody, because they liked the story,” Andy recounts.

FillingInTheBlanks.org

PET ADOPTION PROJECT

But wait, there’s more. Each year Bankwell

Heralded as “Our best savings plan

employees arrive before the concert starts,

ever!”, Bankwell launched this adoption

“They come to the event, bring boxes of

program three years ago to “create aware-

hats, give them out, check people in,” Andy

ness about the many pets in need of homes

says. And, I’m sure, dance and go crazy with

at animal shelters throughout Fairfield and

everyone else.

New Haven counties.”

WiltonRocks.com

FILLING IN THE BLANKS

Local photographer and animal rescue enthusiast Michael Bagley snaps darling, often witty, always gratis, photos of the

You may know Filling in the Blanks (FITB)

available pets. Bankwell features these

from the billboard on I-95. Advertising

photos and information about the animals

is one of the ways Bankwell supports

in their branches and on their website. A

Shawnee Knight and Tina Kramer’s - two

quick perusal of this page made me want

moms who met as neighbors - initiative to

to be the happy mother of 17 dogs, cats,

mitigate childhood hunger.

and bunnies.

Since 2013, FITB has provided weekend

Lynne Gomez, a Bankwell executive

meal bags to kids who are eligible for free

assistant and adoptive pet mom, hatched

or reduced lunches in public schools. These

this initiative and spearheads the matching

bags include breakfast for two days, lunch

of pets to fellow employees, such as match-

for two days, and four snacks. Last year they

ing Laura with her dog, Gracie. At the first

distributed bags to 800 children at Fairfield

adoption event, Laura recalls thinking, “If we

County schools. But that was a small per-

get one pet adopted it would be a success!”

centage of children who needed to eat. Tina

Turns out over 90% were adopted.

and Shawnee wanted to do more.

They pull animals from a number of local

One of the biggest obstacles to FITB is

shelters. “Ideally we focus on the ones who

distribution. Their truck wasn’t large enough

have been in the facility for a while or who

to accommodate the number of needed meal

have a disability,” says Laura. Branches

bags; they had simply reached capacity.

become collection sites for donated pet

They required a box truck and found several

supplies and Bankwell matches donations

entities to help underwrite it. Unfortunately it

made through their coin machines.

wasn’t enough. 30

In addition to the truck and the adver-

He approached Bankwell in 2016 for a

corporate sponsor. “They supported a guy

So they contacted Bankwell. According

The brainchild of Wilton resident and

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

MyBankwell.com

6. 1. Bankwell supports Wilton Rocks for Food event. 2. Bankwell employees volunteer with Filling in the Blanks and CT Food Bank to hand out food to those in need in our communities. 3. Laura Waitz and Alison Gruseke hold their rescue dogs at the Bankwell Pet Adoption event in 2018. 4. Bankwell employees volunteer at Inspirica. 5. Bankwell's Westport Branch, located at 100 Post Road East. 6. Bankwell supports local rescues through their Bankwell Pet Adoption Project.

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

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RENOVATE & REFINE

KAREN BERKEMEYER HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS THANKFUL FOR BEAUTIFUL DESIGN

ARTICLE SOPHIA ANDERSEN

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

THE KITCHEN IS THE HEART OF THE HOME, A GATHERING PLACE FOR THE HOLIDAYS WHERE SPECIAL MEMORIES ARE MADE. “You spend most of your time in your home. You want to walk in and feel good [about the space]. And you want it to function well,” says Karen Berkemeyer, owner and founder of Karen Berkemeyer Home (KB Home) in Westport. KB Home is nirvana if you’re looking to renovate your kitchen (and bathrooms and related spaces). “Our biggest defining factor is our one-stop approach,” Karen says. “We have custom cabinetry, tile and stone, plumbing fixtures, countertops and backsplash. We can actually pull the entire room together for a potential client with just one designer from our showroom.” KB Home also has a great referral base, if you want to speak to an existing or previous client. KB Home works directly with homeowners, but also with designers, architects and builders. Karen explains, “We are here to support them and help their job go smoother.” Renovating a kitchen may seem overwhelming at first, but KB Home makes it seamless and stress-free. Before beginning a new project, Karen suggests you “bring in photos of what [you] like, have a sense of budget and find a really good contractor that [you] connect with.” If you don’t have a contractor, KB Home is happy to refer one. This year and every year, Karen is thankful for her business and her employees. “I’m very thankful to be in business for 25 Photo: Tim Lenz

years and for a very talented and creative staff,” Karen says.

CONTINUED >

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

RENOVATE & REFINE (CON TI N U ED) Photo: Tim Lenz

Photo: Tim Lenz

Photo: Jaime Martorano

NEED A LITTLE INSPIRATION? HERE’S WHAT KAREN SAYS IS TRENDING RIGHT NOW: TIP NUMBER ONE Simplicity. Cabinetry has become simpler. Try a recessed handle or a flat cabinet door which you could either go more modern or more transitional with. TIP NUMBER TWO Mixing colors. Color is trending. Have some fun putting navy with another color apart from white. Or try mixing elements of white and off-white with grays, blues or similar colors. TIP NUMBER THREE Porcelain and feature walls in bathrooms. Larger format porcelain is especially in right now. Try 18x36 tiles or even bigger. Add a feature wall and keep everything else simple. It could be a mosaic with stone, glass or something textured. 36

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

Photo: Tim Lenz

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

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TREND SETTER

A TABLE SET FOR A TURKEY BEAUTIFUL TABLE FOR A MEMORABLE MEAL

of Grace Rose stein nst sen e in

ac Gr

o eR

A BEAUTIFULLY SET TABLE MAKES ANY MEAL A SPECIAL OCCASION - AND WHAT MEAL COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THANKSGIVING DINNER? Guests spend most of their time at the table, so make time to plan your place settings and centerpiece. You’ll want to strike the right tone and feeling, whether you’re hosting a formal affair or a casual family get-together. We teamed up with local experts at Grace Rosenstein Design, Wakeman Town Farm, Fresh Flower Bar, and terrain to set a table that’s dressed to impress! *Westport Lifestyle cannot guarantee family members will behave once seated at the table.

ARTICLE MARISA MACLEAN | PHOTOGRAPHY MINDY BRIAR

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

create the look 1.

1. Laguiole Olivewood Flatware Set $88.00: terrain | 2. Magnolia Brass Leaf $20.00: terrain | 3. Seagrass Charger $16.00: terrain | 4. Taper Candles, Set of 2 $8.00: terrain | 5. Antiqued Brass Candlestick, $18.00: terrain CONTINUED >

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

TREND SETTER

(CON TI N U ED)

GR ACE'S ST YLING TIPS: + Take your time. Take pride in spacing out the flatware or tying beautiful ribbons around the napkins. These details make your guests feel special. + Be flexible. Use what you have in your garden, cabinets or around your house. There are no rules here. These cinnamon sticks and gourds are last minute additions that make the table a success. + Edit. Less is more when it comes to tablescaping. This should be about the food after all. Also, use white plates (a tip I’ve always appreciated from Ina Garten). Food looks best on white plates. + Add texture. It’s all about the variety: glass, wood, linens, florals, porcelain, etc. The mix of texture brings the table to life!

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

TO FOLLOW THE CONTRIBUTORS FOR THIS PIECE: PHOTOGRAPHY: Mindy Briar Photography @mindybriar STYLED BY: Grace Rosenstein Design @gracerosenstein LOCATION: Wakeman Town Farm @wakemantownfarm FLORALS: Fresh Flower Bar @freshflowerbar TABLE DECOR: terrain @shopterrain

create the look 6.

10.

6. Farmstead Dinner Plate $28.00: terrain | 7. Frond Tea Towel $18.00: terrain | 8. Solid Merino Wool Throw $148.00: terrain | 9. Flowers from Fresh Flower Bar | 10. Gourds from Wakeman Town Farm

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

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Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

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INSPIRED BY

Running the course with Center of Hope students.

One of the few standalone houses in Kibera.

Coloring pictures at Mobjap.

ONE HUNDRED COWS

TAKING MY CHILDREN TO THE KIBERA SLUM WITH CROSSING THRESHOLDS

ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHY ROBIN MOYER CHUNG 46

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

AT THE END OF OUR 10-DAY TRIP TO THE KIBERA SLUM* IN NAIROBI, KENYA, CARTER VIA TOLD EVERYONE, “THEIR STORY NEEDS TO BE TOLD. Tell everybody you know.” So, with gratitude and appreciation for all that I have and all that I’ve experienced, I am. Carter founded Crossing Thresholds over ten years ago, working with local leaders to create three schools (K-8) in Kibera and a high school north of Nairobi. He also creates trips to educate and involve U.S. volunteers who come twice a year to build and maintain these schools and interact with the students. This past July I decided to take my three kids on Crossing Threshold’s trip for several reasons: 1. I wanted them to experience a different lifestyle, 2. I hoped it would inspire them to give back to local communities after we returned, 3. I wanted to go to Africa. I knew Kenya didn’t need my kids to paint walls or hammer a nail; plenty of people can do that far better than they can. Rather, I wanted it for my kids, so they’d understand they could paint a wall, they could teach a child a game and it would make difference. I was ambivalent about writing about this trip. I knew people might accuse me of virtue-signaling, slum tourism, or voluntourism. But after consideration, I’m okay with that. Call it whatever you’d like, just please keep reading. These are stories that need to be told no matter how we label them. My only real hesitation was traveling halfway around the world for philanthropic purposes instead of focusing on vicinal needs. But a story about the Masai tribe, which is later in this article, reminded me that we’re citizens of the world, not just of our hometown, and geography doesn’t always dictate our charity. So we traveled to Africa. Specifically, Africa’s largest urban slum. Kibera is roughly the size of Central Park and home to an estimated 800,000 - 1.5 million disenfranchised nationals. Because the government doesn’t “recognize” this rancid bit of land, they do not provide electricity, water, sewage, or police protection for its residents. Watching my children follow a guard with a rifle through a squalid alley, cautiously stepping over rivulets of trash and sewage, brought the inhumane conditions into sharp focus. I thought images in movies and magazines had inured me to slums; I was wrong. The real brutality of poverty is a slap in the face. Yet within these hellish few miles, punctured with disappointment, clogged with desperation for survival and escape, flickers an inexplicable hope. What tinders this hope is beyond Western reason and senPlaying bridge at Mobjap.

sibilities. But there it is.

CONTINUED >

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

INSPIRED BY

(CON TI N U ED)

Playing at FaFu.

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

“KIBERA IS ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF CENTRAL PARK AND HOME TO AN ESTIMATED 800,000 - 1.5 MILLION DISENFRANCHISED NATIONALS.”

At Crossing Thresholds, everyone works in the schools and interacts with the students. As a group, we painted classrooms and scrubbed varnish-splattered floors, lifted heavy bricks to build a firewall, managed art projects, taught students games and surrounded ourselves with dozens of darling children who craved our attention and affection. All of us, even the boys, sat patiently while the girls braided our bafflingly straight hair (unofficial consensus is we’re a more attractive crew without braids.) Every evening we returned to the hotel spent, hot and dusty. Dozens of bottles of Purex sanitized our dirty hands throughout the day (but never in front of the students and teachers) and we kept our filthy shoes outside of our hotel rooms. Visiting a home in which these children live is an important part of the trip, to understand how poverty informs their lives and development. My oldest son requested that, after the visit, I not deliver a parental soliloquy about how lucky we are given how these Kenyans live. How he intuited my plan, I have no idea. But I relented. This home is the size of two parking spots, typical for families of five, six, seven and more. We crammed in, arm-to-arm. The renter, a woman, holds her infant and tells us she has three more children, no husband. Her home is full, with only a sofa nailed from wood planks, a chipped coffee table, and one mattress. Thin floral sheets hang from the ceiling and cover the sofa to mask the rusting metal walls and cheap wood. Her “kitchen” is a small brazier, a pot, and a stack of plastic dishes on a shelf. When she has money she makes gruel of flour and water and maybe a few vegetables. When she doesn’t have money they eat nothing. Desperate for food, it’s not unusual for a single mother to pour alcohol into her babies’ bottle so they sleep all day. Then the mother can leave the home to find day work. If she works she can buy food and they may both survive. If she doesn’t, mother and child starve. Statistically, girls sell their bodies at age 14 to earn money. We left the home quietly, shaken by her life and surroundings. No motherly monologue necessary.

CONTINUED >

Proud Sponsor of ACT of CT November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

INSPIRED BY

(CON TI N U ED)

But like I said, they have hope; they believe that, despite living among dunes of rotting trash, life will uptick. Even in the filthiest reaches of the slum, residents keep their clothes neat and Hair braiding (I looked less like Bo Derek and more like Medusa.)

clean. They fix their hair and mend their childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s uniforms. They smile, greet us with Christian blessings and name their children Grace and Joy and Sunshine. The children expect, and receive, unabashed and unconditional attention from visitors; hardly a child is reticent. Slum residents are primarily descendants of Kenyaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s many tribes. One of the largest of these tribes is the Masai. Carter is friends with one of the Masai elders, Shani Yusuf, and related this story: The Masai tribe is famously resistant to modernization. Many live on worn earth which is unable to yield significant vegetation. They work hard, beading jewelry and carving sculpture for the tourist trade while raising herds of thin cows which are their currency. Only a few of the tribal elders have access to news and information given their isolation and scant finances. Shani has access to international

Teaching a game to Center of Hope students.

news and keeps himself apprised of world events. So on September 11, 2001, he was horrified to learn of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center

Boards over the sewage in the Kibera Slum.

in New York City, a place he had only read about. Shani gathered fellow Masai elders to discuss the destruction. After a few days of meetings, to help the people in a city few of them had heard of and none of them had seen, they decided to donate 100 of their cows, or roughly 30% of their wealth. 100 cows. All photos of children are printed with the permission of Crossing Thresholds, FaFu, Mobjap, and Center of Hope Primary School. *Slum is a politically charged term in the U.S., however Kibera Slum is the official title in Africa.

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

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November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

OUR CONTRIBUTORS

thanksgiving day

mayhem

TRUE STORIES OF DINNER DISASTERS

NAME: Sophia Andersen: Writer

A few years ago my parents hosted Thanksgiving. My mom was in charge of the turkey and appetizers, but my grandma was bringing everything else for the main meal: mashed potatoes, stuffing, etc. My grandparents live over an hour away. When they got to my parents' house, they realized they left all the food at home!

NAME: Maya Porrino: Photographer

We had just moved into a new house and were having family over for the holiday. A few days prior to Thanksgiving our boiler broke but couldn't be replaced until after the holiday weekend. We crossed our fingers the boiler would make it through, especially since the weekend was going to have near-record cold temperatures. Mid-way through Thanksgiving dinner, the heat was no longer coming on. The normally warm boiler room was no longer warm. After an initial panic, we realized that somebody had inadvertently switched the boiler to off. Crisis averted, but my husband's stress level didn't recover for the rest of the night! NAME: Jen Berniker: Writer

I actually don't have a dinner disaster story. My Aunt Robin is the Queen of Thanksgiving; we're just the lucky beneficiaries. She decorates her whole house in porcelain turkeys - every mantle, ledge, windowsill, etc. is adorned. She has turkey napkin rings and name cards. The crudité is in a turkey shape. She's a gourmet chef who has never once under- or over-cooked a turkey. The side dishes overflow and are always perfect... then she serves an embarrassment of pies and cakes for dessert and we all roll out of there happy and stuffed.

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

NAME: Anna Barnes: Writer

My mom is the hostess with the mostess. When it comes to hosting big meals, she times everything to perfection. A few years ago I was tasked with preparing the mashed potatoes. Attempting to create the quality of my mother's dish, I mixed and mashed far too long and ended up with potatoes the consistency of paste. Around the table everyone took a bite of my belabored potatoes; there was a big pause followed by hysterical laughter. They were so bad all we could do was laugh! NAME: John Videler: Photographer

We were sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner with friends when we heard their Jack Russell terrier, Marlin, barking in the neighbor’s yard. Turns out, Marlin had crawled under the porch to catch a raccoon and got stuck. All ten of us, dressed in good clothes, tried to free Marlin from under the porch. After two hours our friend, Scott, went to his garage, got out his chainsaw and cut a hole in the neighbors porch.

NAME: Mindy Briar: Photographer

A few years ago I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for my family. I had never cooked a turkey before so I didn’t know it had to thaw if it was frozen. We ended up having chicken instead because the turkey wouldn’t have thawed in time for dinner!

NAME: Robin Moyer Chung: Editor

My family had Thanksgiving with friends who lived on a small “farm.” They stored rice in their barn which they cooked to serve with dinner. When the rice was passed to us we noticed some of the grains had small black eyes. We didn’t eat much after that.

NAME: Marisa MacLean: Publisher

I have a very large family so every year our Thanksgiving meal table spread is huge. One year at my uncle's house, the beautiful, perfectlycooked turkey was placed down on his dining table. The turkey was so large and heavy, the marble table top cracked in half and all of the food fell to the floor!

November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

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Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

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November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

NOVEMBER

LIFESTYLE CALENDAR

Every month Dames Collective hosts a

THE KINGDOM CHOIR

woman-owned business hosts the event, to

meeting for its members and community called a Morning MindFUEL. A different

10,000 MANIACS IN CONCERT

Christ & Holy Trinity Church,

support fellow women and introduce mem-

75 Church Lane, Westport

bers and guests to her company and space.

With one foot in folk and the other in

The London-based gospel choir, known

Enjoy a panel interview, Q&A session,

rock n roll, New York’s own 10,000

to audiences around the world through

and then networking with snacks, coffee,

Maniacs found themselves at the fore-

their show-stopping rendition of Stand By

and mimosas!

front of the college rock scene beginning

Me at the Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, brings their message of love, hope, and inspiration to Westport on their first-ever North American tour. Stay for the follow-on reception in the Great Hall and meet the artists. EventBrite.com

Fairfield Theatre Company

in the early 80s. Their jangley, shimmering

14 CONNECTICUT'S HALL OF FAME: VOTES FOR WOMEN Westport Historical Society

2020 marks the 100th anniversary of

sound became the defining tone of the era’s rock movement, in turn, giving flight to their career. FairfieldTheatre.org

28 COMMUNITY THANKSGIVING FEAST

women’s suffrage in the United States.

245 Post Road East, Westport

AMAZING ARCHITECTONICS

long with many twists and turns. Join them to learn about the Connecticut

For over 40 years, Saugatuck Church

MoCA Westport

women who fought and on whose shoul-

has

This election day, design and construct

ders we stand. Be inspired by their stories

feast that is free and open to everyone

a personalized building or home under

to use your vote to give a voice to women.

– young families, homeless people, older

the guidance of a LEEDS-certified

Registration required. WestportHistory.org

folks, anyone who might be alone. From

The fight for women’s right to vote was

architect. Students will depart this fun day with an evolved understanding of architectural styles and building materials, and a fabulous miniature construction of their own! Grades 1-8, $75 per child. WestportArtsCenter.org

Saugatuck Church,

been

holding

a Thanksgiving

11 a.m.-2 p.m. they open their doors,

and hundreds of volunteers and donors

NARRATIVE OF THE LIFE OF FREDERICK DOUGLASS

volunteer go to SaugatuckChurch.org.

Westport Library McManus Room

Frederick Douglass (1818–1895) led an

STEEL MAGNOLIAS

tions of his childhood and horrifying expe-

astounding life. In first of three autobiographies, Douglass provides graphic descrip-

work together to make the day a special occasion. For more information or to

29 STAPLES HIGH SCHOOL

Staples High School 10 Year Reunion

Music Theatre of Connecticut

riences as a slave, as well as a harrowing

Staples High School '09 Diner Banger, fea-

Join MTC during November for its pro-

record of his dramatic escape to the North

turing Green Goddess at Sherwood Diner.

duction of Steel Magnolias: a group of

and eventual freedom.

Ticket price covers entry, food and drink,

Louisiana women bond and gossip at

WestportHistory.org

including beer and wine.

a local beauty shop while following the marriage and motherhood of one of the customer's daughters.

*There will be security and you will not

ART SOCIAL

DAMES COLLECTIVE MINDFUEL

enjoy classical music and the company

MoCA Westport

Break out your supplies, sip on wine,

Tusk Home + Design,

of friends in a semi-private working

1375 Post Road East, Westport

studio experience for your independent

Client Relationships: How to keep your

projects. Adults only, $30 per person.

customer retention high.

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Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

be invited in without a ticket. Cost: $70 per person

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NOV 9-10

The Fieldhouse at Staples High School • Sat 10 - 6 • Sun 10 - 5 Free Parking • Indoors • Service Animals Only • Cafe on Site

CraftWestport.com November 2019 | Westport Lifestyle

CULINARY CREATIONS

CHOCOLATE-BOURBON PECAN PIE WE'RE THANKFUL FOR THIS SINFUL DESSERT ARTICLE MARISA MACLEAN

THANKSGIVING DIETING* IS A TERRIBLE IDEA! Thanksgiving is a time for indulgence. To top off your holiday meal, here is our favorite recipe for the most sinful Thanksgiving Day dessert imaginable! Don't ask us for the nutrition info. Just bake and enjoy!!!

INGREDIENTS + 2 large eggs, at room temperature + 1/2 c. butter, browned and cooled slightly + 1/4 c. white sugar + 1 c. dark brown sugar + 1 tbsp. all-purpose flour + 1 tbsp. whole milk + 1 tbsp. bourbon + 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract + 2 c. pecans + 4 oz. dark chocolate, chopped + 19” pie shell

DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 400°. In a large bowl, beat eggs until slightly foamy, then stir in browned butter, white sugar, and brown sugar. Whisk together until fully combined, then stir in flour, milk, bourbon, and vanilla. Add pecans and chocolate chunks and stir until fully combined. Pour mixture into pie crust. 2. Bake 10 minutes, then lower oven to 325° and bake until top no longer jiggles in center, 40 to 50 minutes more. Let cool completely before slicing and serving. *Westport Lifestyle is not responsible for any holiday weight gain that may occur by eating this dessert.

Westport Lifestyle | November 2019

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